#rodrigo di posa

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

and the met sayeth:

“they seem to be very good friends”

[booking--it]

Simon Keenlyside has convinced me that Rodrigo di Posa is a sensitive and polite gay man who happens to live next door to the Spanish Inquisition. 

[monotonous-minutia]

Don Carlo in 250 lines or less

For @notyouraveragejulie

Thank you for the prompt, this was so much fun. At first I thought “How can I possibly do this in 250 lines or less???” but it turned out to be just under 200 so it was all fine.

Anyway---here you go!

Act I, Scene I

Fontainebleu. Any version that does not contain this act is irrelevant.

Hunter’s chorus: We’re singing about our great hunting expedition in perhaps one of the most exhilarating opening choruses in all of opera.

Carlos: I travelled all the way from Spain to try and sneak a peek at my future bride. Isn’t love wonderful?

Thibault: Oh no, we’re lost in the woods. Are you okay, Princess? I mean really are you okay? Are you okay?

Elizabeth: I’m fine, just a little tired.

Carlo: Never fear! I can stay with you in the middle of these woods while your page runs off for help.

Thibault: Wait what

Carlo: I came with the Spanish retinue.

Elizabeth: Sounds great and not sketchy at all. Thibault, go ahead and get me my horse. We’ll wait here for you.

Thibault: Okay, I guess…

Elizabeth: So, you’re from Madrid? I’ve been betrothed to the prince there as part of the peace treaty between our countries.

Carlo: Yes I know all about that.

Elizabeth: I’m very nervous about it and scared to leave my mother and my home. What if the prince doesn’t love me?

Carlo: Guess what? I’m actually Carlo and I love you because you’re so beautiful and sweet.

Elizabeth: Oh that’s great because I was starting to fall for you and felt bad since I’m betrothed! How lucky that I am so attracted to the guy I was going to blind marry.

Carlo and Elizabeth: Listen to the canons! Peace has been declared! Not only are we in love and about to be married, but our countries are finally at peace. This is seriously the best day ever.

Thibault: Elizabeth! Great news! You’re engaged to the king! Please take me with you when you go to Spain. I may have a crush on you. I mean, it will be a great learning experience for me.

Elizabeth: Of course you can stay with me, but you’re mistaken. I’m engaged to the prince, not the king.

Lerma: Plans have changed! Peace will only be declared if you marry the king. What say you?

Chorus of peasants: Please, Elizabeth, we really need a break from all this horribleness.

Elizabeth: Yes, I will marry the king. Oh, this is the worst day ever.

Carlo: My heart is broken! How can heaven be so cruel?

Chorus: Long live the marvelous new queen! We are finally at peace and we can finally be happy!

Elizabeth and Carlo: We’re so sad!!!!

Act II Scene I

The creepy monastery

Monks: Once upon a time there was a very vain emperor named Charles V. Because of his folly, he was doomed to a dishonorable death. His ghost may or may not be wandering around this monastery. The moral of the story: God alone is great and powerful. Never assume you’re greater than God, unless you want to suffer the same fate.

Carlo: I can’t get over how creepy it is that that one Monk looks so much like my grandfather.

Monks leave creepily. Rodrigo comes in.

Rodrigo: Carlo!

Carlo: Rodrigo!

Both: HUG ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Rodrigo: What a day to be alive! I just got back from Flanders and it’s chaos over there, but I know we can make things better. It’s time to sword up and go save a country! Hey, what’s wrong?

Carlo: I don’t want to tell you. You’ll hate me.

Rodrigo: There is nothing in this world that would make me hate you. You can tell me anything.

Carlo: I’m in love with my stepmother.

Rodrigo: (Yikes!) It’s okay, we’ll get through this together. Heading to Flanders with me will get her off your mind. Nothing like a lot of depressing situations and some good old blood and gore to get your mind off unrequited love. Remember how we said we would always fight for freedom and live and die as lovers I mean brothers?

Carlo: Duh! It was our entire childhood.

Rodrigo: Don’t look now, here comes the queen and Filippo.

Carlo: I can’t handle this. It’s too hard.

Rodrigo: Remember our cause! We’ll get through this!

Both: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Act II Scene II

The Queen’s garden

Chorus of ladies: What a pretty, sunny day. It’s so nice being ladies in a Spanish court.

Thibault: I have a crush on all these ladies here but especially Princess Eboli, who is the most beautiful of them all and sometimes wears an eyepatch.

Eboli: Let me tell you a story that may or may not be foreshadowing. Once upon a time, a no-good cheating king fell in love with a beautiful lady wearing a veil. Turns out she was his wife all along!

Everyone else: Bravo, Eboli, you’re such a good storyteller, and very beautiful we may add.

Eboli: I know.

Everyone: Here comes the queen. She’s so sad these days.

Elizabeth: It’s nice to see you all so happy. If only I wasn’t so sad!

Thibault: Hey look it’s the Marquis.

Rodrigo: My Queen, I have a special note here from your aunt. (It’s actually from Carlos, read it.)

Eboli: Well, Marquis, how have you been these days? I may or may not be flirting with you right now.

Rodrigo: You’re very pretty in a purely aesthetic sense and I don’t know how to handle flirting so I’m just going to give you some boring news about court gossip.

Elizabeth: The letter from Carlo tells me I should trust Rodrigo and I still love Carlo so I guess I will. Marquis, what can I do for you?

Rodrigo: We both love Carlo (in every sense of the word) and he’s suffering and sad right now. If only you would speak to him, it would help heal his wounded heart.

Elizabeth: Fine, I’ll see him. Everyone, be on your way.

Eboli: Carlo is sad and suffering? That’s too bad. I kind of like him. I think he likes me too. I wonder if we would work as a couple. Hmm.

Everyone leaves Elizabeth alone. Carlo comes in.

Carlo: Elizabeth, I’m suffocating here. I need to get out. Will you let me go to Flanders?

Elizabeth: Yes, if that’s what you need.

Carlo: Why do you have to be so cold? What if I die over there? Don’t you care?

Elizabeth: Well do you want to go or not?

Carlo: I mean I do but

Elizabeth: You don’t get it. I’m the queen now. I have to act all queenly.

Carlos: BUT I STILL LOVE YOU ugh this is so hard why can’t you love me???

Elizabeth: You think this is easy for me??? I’m hurting too you little prick. But what are we supposed to do about it???

Carlo: Be sad forever. Or hate my father. Or both.

Elizabeth: Well unless you plan to kill him I don’t see what we can do, and it would be an awfully nasty wedding. I don’t think anyone would come.

Carlo: Fine, I’m out. I hate my life!

Carlo leaves

Elizabeth: God give me strength! I don’t know why I’m asking you. You’ve been pretty cruel lately. But I’m a good Christian woman so I guess I have to.

Thibault comes back. So does everyone else. And Filippo.

Thibault: THE KING IS HERE OH NO WE’RE IN TROUBLE

Filippo: Why is the Queen all alone? You’re all fired. Wait, no, just this one.

Elizabeth: But she’s my best friend!! How dare you!! Alright, fine. At least she gets to go back to France where I wish I was right now. Goodbye, my lover I mean best friend. Say hello to my mother for me.

Filippo: Too much drama, everyone out.

Everyone else leaves

Filippo: Wait, except you, Posa.

Rodrigo backpedals

Filippo: Tell me, what’s a handsome I mean valiant young man like you doing hanging around but never asking to see me?

Rodrigo: I don’t sit around waiting for the king to give me stuff…

Filippo: Cheeky! I like it. Well, you have me here now. What can I do for you?

Rodrigo: Well you see there’s this stuff going on in Flanders…

Filippo: I’ve got Flanders under control.

Rodrigo: What kind of control is it when people lie miserable in the streets and get killed and leave their crying starving children behind???

Filippo: How dare you talk to me this way! But I also kind of like it. You’re bold. But beware of the Grand Inquisitor.

Rodrigo: Why?

Filippo: Just do it. Anyway, I want you to stay by my side, for purely professional reasons.

Rodrigo: I like where I’m at, thanks.

Filippo: I need you to keep an eye on my wife and son.

Rodrigo: Your son is too pure for this world, you don’t need to worry about him, I’ll take care of him and love him forever.

Filippo: Do you know how hard it is to feel like you’ve lost a son? He hates me. I need someone to keep tabs on him. And I think the queen is cheating on me with him so keep an eye out for that too.

Rodrigo: Okay...

Filippo: So anyway come and work for me and keep me company if you know what I mean.

Rodrigo: This is kind of weird and also I don’t like spying on people especially the ones I really care about but this is a great opportunity to get to know the king better and maybe encourage a change of heart so why not?

Filippo: Great! But I’ll say it one more time in case you forgot because it was several verses ago. Beware the Grand Inquisitor. I’m serious.

Rodrigo: Yeah, yeah…

Act III Scene I

The Queen’s gardens

Chorus: LET’S PARTY LIKE IT’S 1559

Elizabeth: I’m not really in a party mood. I think I’ll go pray to clear my mind. You go ahead to the party, Eboli. Have some fun for me.

Elizabeth leaves

Eboli: Perfect, I get Carlo all to myself! I’m going to write him this note telling him to meet me here later. Also I’m going to put on Elizabeth’s veil because it’s so pretty. I feel like a queen myself. I’m so excited. I love love.

Carlo: I’m so excited I got a note from someone who is Elizabeth of course who else could it be ah here she comes now my love I love you so much.

Eboli: I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life!

Carlo: Oh dang, it’s you.

Eboli: ???

Carlo: You’re sweet but I can’t love you. It’s not you, it’s me.

Eboli: But I can protect you. I see everything that goes on in the court and there’s people whispering your name all over the place and Rodrigo is following the king around everywhere now so.

Carlo: What?? My lover I mean best friend is in cahoots with my dad who hates me? This is too much. Thank you for being on my side, Princess, but my heart is taken by another.

Eboli: Are you in love with Elizabeth? How dare she pretend to be all saintly and queenly when she’s having an affair like this?

Carlo: Wait no it’s not what it looks like

Rodrigo was apparently jogging nearby and sees this

Rodrigo: LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU WITCH

Eboli: You don’t know the extent of my power. Just wait, I’ll get back at you both.

Rodrigo: Watch your back lady!

Carlo: RODRIGO DON’T STAB HER

Rodrigo: WHY NOT

Eboli: YOU DON’T SCARE ME

Rodrigo: Okay wait there’s always another way. I have a plan and it may be tragic but we’re not there so. I still have time.

Carlo: This is all my fault oh no time for a guilt spiral.

Eboli: I’m going to leave now but I’m not letting you go this easy. Never doubt the power of a woman who is heartbroken and severely POed.

Rodrigo: Carlo, if you have anything incriminating on you give it to me. I’m not sure if I’m trying to protect you or betraying you to further my own agenda. I guess we’ll find out.

Carlo: That’s shady.

Rodrigo: WHAT HOW CAN YOU BE SUSPICIOUS OF ME I LOVE YOU

Carlo: I’M SORRY I LOVE YOU here’s my papers

Both: HUG ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Act III Scene III

Auto-da-fe. The exact location varies but it’s usually very dramatic.

Chorus of people: TODAY IS AWESOME WE GET TO BURN PEOPLE

Chorus of monks: LET TODAY BE A LESSON FOR Y'ALL DON’T GET ON GOD’S BAD SIDE

Everyone: HERE COMES THE KING HE’S AWESOME

Carlo: Wait! I went to Flanders remarkably quickly and brought back these Flemish people to talk you out of burning their friends.

Flemish chorus: Sire, can you please spare our people? We’re very nice we promise

Filippo: Yeah no

Elizabeth, Rodrigo, Lerma, Thibault, Carlo: Come on Sire can you let them go just this once?

Filippo: I’m the king so I make the decisions! Stop questioning me I’m getting cranky.

Carlo: If you don’t do something I will! Father, let me rule Flanders. I’ll be king one day so I may as well start ruling.

Filippo: And give you the power to usurp me or kill me?? Not a chance.

Carlo: Fine, I’ll just kill you now then!

Filippo: Somebody help! What? No one’s gonna do anything? Fine, I’ll kill him myself. En garde!

Rodrigo: Carlo you are seriously your own worst enemy stop it you’re gonna kill yourself. Give me your sword so I can protect you but also stay on Filippo’s good side because yeah it’s morally ambiguous but I need him right now so.

Everyone else: RODRIGO HOW COULD YOU

Filippo: Posa, you’re the best. You’re promoted for purely professional reasons there’s no subtext here at all. Guards, arrest my son. I’ll deal with him later. Now on to the celebration! Who doesn’t love a good bonfire?

Act IV Scene I

Filippo’s chamber

Filippo: Time for an existential crisis. I’m tired, overworked, and my wife who is significantly younger than me and betrothed to me out of the blue and plucked from her homeland and taken to a rather messy court inexplicably doesn’t love me. Also my son hates me. I wish I could sleep but the only way I see myself doing that is in my coffin. What’s a king to do?

Lerma (Apparently just standing there waiting to say this): The Grand Inquisitor is here.

Inquisitor: Am I standing by the king?

Filippo: Yes. I have a few questions. First, my son is being a real pain in my you know what lately. Any tips?

Inquisitor: Kill him.

Filippo: My son?? How can I call myself a Christian if I kill my own son?

Inquisitor: Jesus.

Filippo: Fair point. Be on your way.

Inquisitor: Not so fast! You should kill Posa too.

Filippo: No way! In all this world there has never been a man with whom I feel so close. And yes I am aware of how gay that sounds.

Inquisitor: Welp it’s that or you’re in the lurch and who knows what the inquisition will do if I’m not on your side so….

Filippo: Fine.

Inquisitor exits. Elizabeth runs in.

Elizabeth: I DEMAND JUSTICE. Everyone here hates me and to top it off I lost my jewelry box.

Filippo: You mean this one that I have right here that has a picture of Carlo inside it???? How dare you cheat on me!

Elizabeth: I would never! Do you understand how hard it was for me to come here and be separated from my family?? But I’ve never committed a sin in my life and I’m not about to start.

Filippo: Okay, cheater.

Elizabeth faints.

Filippo: When will I learn to shut my mouth???

Rodrigo and Eboli rush in as if they’d been waiting by the door

Rodrigo: Seriously Filippo you control half the world, why can’t you control yourself?

Filippo: I know I suck

Elizabeth: I wish I was home. I’ll never be happy again. What’s the point of life?

Eboli: Oh no, I screwed up, poor Elizabeth.

Rodrigo: I was hoping I had more time, but it’s clear I can wait no longer. I must put my plan into motion and die an honorable death to save the country I love and the man I love.

Everyone leaves except Elizabeth and Eboli

Eboli: ELIZABETH I’M SORRY YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO NICE TO ME BUT I DID THIS HORRIBLE THING. I gave Filippo the jewelry box to make him angry but it’s all because I love Carlo. Also I called you a cheater but actually that’s me.

Elizabeth: Well I was GOING to forgive you for loving Carlo but soiling my reputation is not okay so you can leave now, be a nun, or leave the country, I don’t care. Also I want my cross back. I can’t remember giving it to you but I want it back.

Elizabeth leaves

Eboli: I’ll never see the queen again! I messed up so bad! GD it, why do I have to be so beautiful? Obviously that’s why I have problems, not because I have a precarious moral compass. Wait a second, Carlo’s going to be killed by the inquisition?? Not on my watch! I’m coming, beloved who will never love me!

Eboli runs off to rile people up

Act IV Scene II

Prison

Rodrigo: Carlo, it’s me.

Carlo: Rodrigo, thank you for coming to visit me. I’m done gone over Elizabeth. I don’t think I can be of much use right now especially seeing as I’m in jail and no one’s told me if I can leave or what. But you’ll be a great leader for Flanders.

Rodrigo: Actually you’ll be out of here soon because I told everyone that I’m the traitor not you.

Carlo: WHAT THEY’LL KILL YOU

Rodrigo: Yeah I know

Carlo: Why would you do that???

Rodrigo: Because I’ve learned after all this messiness and moral ambiguity and betrayal that above all else in the world I love you and I’d die for you so I will.

Carlo: This can’t be happening.

Rodrigo: I’m afraid it is.

Gunshot

Carlo: OH MY GOD WHO GOT SHOT

Rodrigo: Me.

Carlo: OH MY GOD

Rodrigo: Listen, your mother will meet you at the monastery tomorrow. She knows everything and she’ll help you escape to Flanders. You were born to rule them and I was born to die for you. Don’t be sad. I’m not sad. I saved you and that’s the only thing that matters to me.

Filippo and his courtiers enter

Filippo: Hey son! Great news. You’ve been exonerated. You’re free to go.

Carlo: No way in hell am I coming with you. Do you see what you’ve done???? The person I love most in this world is dead because you made him feel like he had to die for me.

Filippo: ???

Carlo: He was innocent you prick!

Filippo: Oh cruel fate! How can this be happening? Who will return this beautiful soul to me?

Carlo: I will either carry on in his name or lay beside him in the grave.

Filippo: His brave words gave me life. I can’t go on without him.

Courtiers: What are we? Chop liver?

Lerma: Sire, there’s people outside making a ruckus…

A crowd of people push their way into the prison including Eboli and Elizabeth

Chorus of people: LET OUR PRINCE GO

Eboli: See, Elizabeth, it’s all because I loved him. I spent all night riling up these peasants to come save Carlo.

Elizabeth: I can’t watch this it’s too much.

Inquisitor: SETTLE DOWN PEASANTS AND KNEEL BEFORE YOUR KING

Chorus of people: OH NO IT’S THE GRAND INQUISITOR

Filippo: All I have left now is being a king so I’m going to yell at everyone to bow before me as I stand next to the d-bag who convinced me to kill an innocent man.

Chorus of people: We’re sorry. We’ll be quiet.

Eboli: Carlo, come with me, I’ll help you escape. Then it’s off to the convent for me, but at least I did my part.

Act V Scene I

The creepy monastery again

Elizabeth: Emperor Charles knew how horrible this world is. Not sure why I’m saying that except maybe to foreshadow later events. Anyway, I’m very sad. I’m so far from home, I feel like I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved. Plus I just watched a man die to save the one we both love most in this world. Fate is so cruel. Part of me just wishes I were dead already. I don’t think things could get any darker than this.

Carlo enters

Carlo: Mother, I’m here to say our final goodbye. Rodrigo is dead and I’ll never recover. I’m off to Flanders to finish his good work. I’ve finally come to peace with the fact that you’re my mother, and after all you’d make a really good mother despite the age difference (or lack thereof). I hope you live the rest of your life in peace. Maybe we’ll see each other in Heaven when all of this is over.

Elizabeth: Good-bye, dear son. I’ve resigned myself to my fate and I’m so proud of you. You will save an abandoned people and become a hero.

Filippo barges in

Filippo: This is all very touching but I’m really angry because everything is out of control. I killed the only man I’ve ever loved, my son is lost to me forever because of his foolhardy notions and traitorous actions, and I don’t think my wife will ever love me after all of this is over. Guards, finish off my son.

Inquisitor (who is always just inexplicably THERE): Kill him in the name of God!

Carlo: NO! I won’t go out like this! Though in some versions I do.

Monk dressed as Charles V (or maybe it is Charles V?????) LIFE IS BASICALLY POINTLESS WE’RE ALL SINNERS YOU MAY AS WELL JUST FACE DEATH NOW

Everyone: OMG A GHOST

Carlo: I’m not sure if I’m dead or dying or in a trance or maybe this is all just a dream. However you spin it, this is the end. I don’t see anything happening after this.

He goes with the monk into the monastery. Or gets stabbed. Depends on who’s telling the story.

THE END

[lives-in-a-harpsichord]

Bruintober part 28

Rodrigo and Carlo from Verdi's opera Don Carlo!

[grafinyademonsoro]

Noo, Chicot, don`t do it! This ends about as well as with another favourite of mine who liked keeping things to himself:

“How can disclosure serve thee when my silence   Brings thee no harm—serves thee, perhaps? Ah! why   Point to the traveller the impending storm?   Enough, if I direct its anger past thee!   And when thou wakest the sky's again serene.”

Although, in Rodrigo`s case, the consequences are even more disastrous. I like ambigous characters with ambigous loyalties, what can I say... Well, with Chicot at least those loyalties should be quite clear by the end of the series! XD

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

Tag game

Tagged by @frostysfrenzy

Rules: Tag nine people you want to know better and answer the questions

Three ships: Okay well these are from the shows that are coming back so - GSR (Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle) from CSI; 00Vesper (James Bond and Vesper Lynd) from James Bond; Mike Banning x Leah Banning from the Fallen series

Last song: Lots of Fun by TryHardNinja

Last movie: I think it was Angel has Fallen?

Currently watching: CSI

Currently reading: The Silmarillion

Currently craving: Peace of mind...

Tag 9 people: @leftperfectionmoon @hlabounty96 @chickadee-djarin @forauldlangsynee @bishops-severed-torso @davesdude80 @rodrigo-di-posa @mcliancraft @arthurmahgoodboah (nobody has to do it if they don't want to)

[akechijubeimitsuhide]

Simon Boccenegra and Rodrigue di Posa for the character bingo?

Simon:

Rodrigo:

[opera-simplified]

Opera Simplified #1: Don Carlo(s)

Don Carlos (Don Carlo)

Opera Simplified #1

The Basics:

Music: Giuseppe Verdi

Libretto: Joseph Méry and Camille du Locle

Premiere: March 11, 1867; Salle le Peletier (Opéra national de Paris); Paris, France

Based on: Friedrich Schiller’s 1787 play Don Carlos, Infant von Spainen (Don Carlos, Infante of Spain)

Setting: Various locations in France and Spain; the late 1550s-early 1560s.

Characters:

Don Carlos (Don Carlo), Infante of Spain- tenor

Élisabeth de Valois (Elisabetta di Valois), Princess of France and Carlos’ fiancée- soprano

Philippe II (Filippo II), King of Spain and Carlos’ father- bass

Rodrigue (Rodrigo), Marquis de Posa- baritone

Princess Éboli, a Spanish noblewoman- mezzo-soprano

The Grand Inquisitor, head of the Spanish Inquisition- bass

A Monk- bass

Count Lerma, a Spanish nobleman- tenor

Thibault (Tebaldo), Élisabeth’s page- soprano

A celestial voice- soprano

Countess d’Aremberg, a lady-in-waiting to Élisabeth- silent

A royal herald- tenor

Note: This Opera Simplified will use the Italian names (which appear in the parentheses above), as this opera is performed much more often in Italian than French, even though the opera was originally written in French as a French grand opéra.

Requested by: @monotonous-minutia. (Also, thank you for reading over this!)

The Opera:

Act I:

Late winter of 1559, in the forest outside the Fontainebleau palace in southwestern France. A group of French woodcutters, their families, and other poor people are sitting around trying to keep warm.

**The People: WINTER SUCKS IT’S SO DARN COLD LIFE SUCKS 

A Woodcutter: Don’t worry! When peace comes, everything will be better!

The People: YEAH BUT WHEN WILL THIS STUPID WAR EVER END***

*Hunting horns sound in the distance.*

HEY THE ROYAL COURT IS COMING THROUGH WE HOPE THEY HAVE HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS AND STUFF

The Hunters: C’mon, let’s go get the deer before they run off too far away for us to get them!

*Elisabetta di Valois enters with Tebaldo and a group of servants.*

The People: OH MY GOD IT’S PRINCESS ELISABETTA SHE’S SO NICE MAYBE SHE CAN HELP US

Elisabetta: Friends, how can I help you today?

The Women: Nothing for us, but do you see her?

*They indicate one of their own.*

She lost her husband, her two sons are off at war, she has nothing and no one…

Elisabetta: Say no more. Here, take this gold chain…

*She takes off a gold chain and hands it to the woman.*

Everyone, keep heart! A Spanish envoy is coming to talk about a peace treaty, and I’m confident that this war will end soon and France will see bright days again.****

The People: YAAAAAAY WE LOVE YOU ELISABETTA MAY GOD BLESS YOU

*She greets everyone and then leaves with her retinue. As they leave, Don Carlo shows up and hides among the trees.*

The Hunters: C’mon, let’s go get the deer before they run off too far away for us to get them!

The People: Once we have peace, everything will be okay again…

*They gradually leave. Once they’re gone, Carlo comes out of his hiding place.*

Carlo: Wow, Fontainebleau really is a huge forest…but it was here I saw Elisabetta for the first time just now…AND I’M IN LOVE! This was so worth leaving Spain in disguise and having Dad get very mad at me!

*Horns and footsteps sound in the distance.*

Oh, wow, the court’s still here even though it’s getting kinda late…

Tebaldo (from offstage): HEY PEOPLE COME HERE WE KINDA NEED HELP

Carlo: Who’s there?

*Tebaldo enters with Elisabetta.*

whaaaaaaaaaaat it’s Elisabetta again YAAAAAAAAAY

Tebaldo: I CAN’T FIND THE WAY BACK I’M SO SORRY ELISABETTA IT’S GETTING DARK AND COLD LET ME HELP YOU

Elisabetta: Thanks, I am kinda tired…

Carlo: Hello!

*He bows before Elisabetta.*

Tebaldo: uhhhhhhhhhhh who are you

Carlo: A stranger, a Spaniard, and I won’t say anything more.

Elisabetta: Oh, so you’re with Count Lerma, that Spanish ambassador?

Carlo: ...yeah. I’ll help you if you need.

Tebaldo: HEY ELISABETTA I CAN SEE THE PALACE FROM HERE LEMME RUN AND GET SOME PEOPLE TO BRING YOU BACK

wait actually I can’t just leave you alone with this strange guy what if he tries to hurt you or do something to you

Elisabetta: IT’S OKAY I TRUST SPANISH HONOR BECAUSE I KNOW THE SPANISH ARE REALLY BIG ON HONOR AND STUFF WHICH WILL TOTALLY NEVER BE A PROBLEM FOR ME SO THIS GUY AND I SHOULD BE OKAY DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME

*Tebaldo bows and leaves. Carlo himself suddenly kneels before Elisabetta.*

What are you doing?

*Carlo lights a small pile of branches on fire to create some warmth for himself and Elisabetta.*

Carlo: Well, we’re all stuck outside, especially considering there’s a war going on right now, so we might as well light some fires, and have light, and stay warm, and maybe even have peace and love…

Elisabetta: Speaking of which, do you think they’ll sign the treaty tonight?

Carlo: Of course! And then they’ll announce your marriage to Don Carlo of Spain—

Elisabetta: Let’s talk about him! Here’s the thing: I’m leaving my home, my whole life up until now behind forever to marry this guy because my father and God want me to, and tbh I’m a little afraid. Like what if I get homesick? Or if he doesn’t love me?

Carlo: I know this much: he wants to serve you forever and he already loves you.

Elisabetta: Whoo, good, I was worried. That makes me feel a lot better about going to Spain.

Carlo: You have no reason to worry; he really, really loves you.

Elisabetta: Why do I feel so weird about you saying this?

…Wait. Who are you?

Carlo: A messenger to the man himself.

*He hands her a small box.*

He asked me to give you this portrait of himself.

Elisabetta: *examining the box* I feel like I shouldn’t open this…but I really want to see him!

*She opens the box and looks at the portrait, then at Carlo, and then back and forth for a bit until she realizes. *

OH MY GOD YOU’RE DON CARLO?!?!?!?!

Carlo: *fainting at her feet* I am… and I really do love you!

Elisabetta and Carlo: YAAAAAY WE’RE IN LOVE AND GOD WANTS US HAPPY SO WE’RE GONNA GET MARRIED EVENTUALLY

*A cannon shot. The faraway palace lights up.*

Elisabetta: That was…

Carlo: IT’S THE CANNON THE PEACE TREATY HAS BEEN SIGNED *****

Elisabetta and Carlo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S AWESOME PEACE WILL BE SO GREAT AND THE WORLD WILL BE REBORN ALSO WE MADE A VOW HERE FOR FOREVER AND WE’LL OFFICIALLY BE MAKING VOWS SOON IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND GOD WOOHOO

*Tebaldo, several other pages and valets, Count Lerma, the Countess d’Aremberg, and a bunch of other people show up. Tebaldo approaches Elisabetta, bows, and kisses the hem of her dress.*

Tebaldo: My sweet Elisabetta pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease take me with you when you go to Spain because I may or may not have a crush on you and really you’re just so awesome

Elisabetta: Of course! You can get up now, you don’t have to be so formal.

Tebaldo: Okay, cool. Now for the news. I salute you, Elisabetta, future Queen of Spain—

Elisabetta: Thanks. I appreciate that.

Tebaldo: —and wife of King Filippo II.

Elisabetta: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SEC I’m supposed to be marrying Don Carlo those were the terms of the peace treaty we already talked about this

Tebaldo: uh that changed you’re marrying Filippo now

Carlo: WAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Elisabetta: WHAT THE— wait I can’t finish that statement 

well that’s it we’re done for my life is officially ruined but I’ll try to stick it out and keep my head up and fight fate anyway

Carlo: THAT’S IT WE’RE DONE FOR MY LIFE IS OFFICIALLY RUINED AND I’LL JUST HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED FOREVER NOW

Everyone Else: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY SPAIN’S GONNA HAVE AN AWESOME NEW QUEEN AND PEACE IS GONNA BE SO LIT

Elisabetta and Carlo: well our amazing lovely golden dream just got ripped to shreds and now all we have is sorrow

Count Lerma: My lady, your father wants you to marry Filippo as the price to end this war. However, Filippo wants the choice to be yours and yours alone. So, are you going to say yes to the dress? ******

The Women: PLEASE SAY YES HAVE MER—

Count Lerma: Shut up. It’s her choice.

Elisabetta: You say it’s my choice, but what choice do I have? If I say “no”, then the war will go on, and more innocent lives will be destroyed…

Count Lerma: Your answer?

Elisabetta: ...Yes.

The People: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY GOD BLESS YOU ELISABETTA

Elisabetta and Carlo: this is horrible I feel like I’m dying

Everyone Else: WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH ELISABETTA YAAAAAAAAY HONOR AND GLORY TO OUR NEW QUEEN 

*Count Lerma leads Elisabetta to a litter and helps her get in. Everyone falls in line behind the litter and heads to the palace, merrily singing all the while.*

Carlo: MY LIFE IS OVER AND I WANT TO FREAKING DIE

Notes

Act II:

Scene 1:

An unspecified amount of time later, at a cloister in the monastery of San Yuste, with the tomb of Emperor Charles V. It is dawn. The monks are chanting, as one prays before the tomb.

Monks: Charles V is nothing but ashes, and his soul now trembles before God…

A Monk: CHARLES THOUGHT HE WAS SO COOL AND THAT HE COULD RULE EVERYTHING BUT IN HIS PRIDE HE FORGOT ABOUT GOD AND WAS THUS STRUCK DOWN SO LET THAT BE A LESSON TO Y’ALL

God, presumably from somewhere: ooooooooooooor it could mean that he was human and he died like every human does. just a thought. **

The Monk: WHAT WAS THAT ALSO GOD HAVE MERCY ON HIM

*Day dawns, all the monks leave, and Carlo enters, looking like he’s had...a very rough time of it.*

Carlo: I’VE BEEN HAVING SUCH A ROUGH TIME OF IT AND I CAME HERE TO FIND PEACE BUT IT’S NOT EXACTLY WORKING OUT

The Monk: We may try to find peace here, but even then suffering is always with us because we can only find peace in heaven…

Carlo: WAIT THAT SOUNDED LIKE MY GRANDPA AND HE LOOKED LIKE MY GRANDPA BUT MY GRANDPA’S DEAD I MUST BE REALLY LOSING IT

The Monk: We can only find peace in heaven…

*He leaves.*

Carlo: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why do I have so many problems

*Rodrigo, Marquis di Posa, Carlo’s…”best friend” according to most people, enters.* ***

Rodrigo: CARLO IT’S YOU I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN SO LONG

Carlo: OMG IT’S YOU RODRIGO LEMME HUG YOU

Rodrigo: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SEEING YOU AGAIN

Carlo: HEAVEN HAS SENT YOU TO ME

Rodrigo: MY BELOVED PRINCE

Carlo: MY CONSOLING ANGEL

Rodrigo: ALL THE HUGS okay look also the Flemish people need someone to save them and you should do it but wait are you OKAY CARLO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE HAVING A ROUGH TIME OF IT SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH ME ****

Carlo: MY SAVIOR MY BROTHER LET ME CRY ON YOU

Rodrigo: POUR OUT YOUR TORMENT AND OPEN UP TO ME

Carlo: ...You really sure you want to know?

Rodrigo: Always.

Carlo: Very well. I love...and it’s a sinful love...Elisabetta!

Rodrigo: YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR STEPMOM?! (and you weren’t talking about me?!)

Carlo: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Rodrigo are you abandoning me too???

Rodrigo: no no no it’s okay I still love you and since you’re suffering it’s my sole job to help you seriously I STILL LOVE YOU also has the King found out yet

Carlo: Surprisingly, no.

Rodrigo: Good. Then ask him to let you control Flanders. Kill two birds with one stone: help the Flemish and stop thinking about your stepmom.

Carlo: Will do.

*A bell tolls in the distance.*

Rodrigo: Hey, uh, the King and Queen will be here in just a little bit.

Carlo: ELISABETTA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rodrigo: CARLO PLEASE CALM DOWN but seriously stay by me and let me strengthen you and let God too because you have big things to do and I am fully confident in you

Carlo and Rodrigo: GOD YOU GAVE US HOPE AND LOVE SO GIVE US THE DRIVE TO FIGHT FOR FREEDOM ALSO WE VOW TO LIVE AND DIE TOGETHER AND WE’LL BE UNITED FOREVER

Rodrigo: Hey Carlo, don’t look now but—

*Filippo and Elisabetta enter with a bunch of monks.*

Carlo: AHHHHHHHHHH IT’S ELISABETTA I CAN’T EVEN SEE HER WITHOUT FREAKING OUT

Rodrigo: —they’re here. Have courage!

*Filippo and Elisabetta kneel at the tomb and then proceed offstage with the monks. While that is going on:*

Monks: Charles V is nothing but ashes, and his soul now trembles before God…

Carlo: I’ve lost her and she’s my dad’s wife now noooooooooooooooooooooooooo why does life have to suck so much

Rodrigo: hey hey stay by me your heart will be stronger that way

The Monk: GOD FORGIVE HIM

Carlo and Rodrigo: WE’LL LIVE AND DIE TOGETHER AND OUR LAST BREATH WILL BE A CRY FOR LIBERTY

*They embrace and then leave the monastery.*

Notes

Scene 2:

Later the same day, in a garden outside the monastery. Several ladies of the court and Tebaldo are hanging out and enjoying the day.

Ladies of the Court: it’s very hot out because duh it’s Spain and it’s hot but luckily there are a bunch of trees and some nice wind here

Tebaldo: IT’S SO PRETTY OUT HERE AND I LOVE IT

Ladies and Tebaldo: yaaaaaaaaaaay hanging out outside is fun

*Princess Éboli enters.*

Éboli: hey everyone since we can’t go inside the monastery and we have to wait out here for a long time would you all like to sing with me?

Ladies: YES YES YES ANYTHING FOR YOU ÉBOLI

Éboli: Cool! Hey, Tebaldo, since you’re so awesome at the mandolin why don’t you pull it out and play that one song about the veil?

Ladies and Tebaldo: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Éboli: SO this one time there was a Moorish king who was hanging out in a garden one night and he saw a pretty veiled woman and was like “hey baby you should be my new wife because I’m tired of my current one” lalalalala

Éboli, Tebaldo, and the Ladies: let’s weave some veils so we can find love at night lalalalala

Éboli: and THEN the king was like “oh hey you should take off your veil and let me see who you are and then we can be SUCH a great power couple” and then she did and IT WAS THE QUEEN AND HE WAS SO HUMILIATED AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER lalalalala

Éboli, Tebaldo, and the Ladies: the moral of the story is that wearing a veil at night is conducive to love so let’s all weave some veils lalalalala **

*Elisabetta enters from the monastery.*

Everyone: Your Majesty!

Éboli: She always seems so sad…

Elisabetta: I wish I could be as happy as all of them were…

Tebaldo: HEY THE MARQUIS DI POSA IS COMING HERE

Everyone Else: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

*Rodrigo enters and goes over to Elisabetta.*

Rodrigo: Your Majesty, when I was in Paris, your mother gave me this letter for you.

*He hands her the letter along with a note.*

see that note please read that note because it’s very important and I’m asking you in the name of God so PLEASE read it okay I think I need to distract Éboli now so byyyyyyyyyyyyyye

Éboli: so what’s new in France, you cute thing?

Rodrigo: Everyone’s talking about this super-awesome jousting tournament. They say the King of France will be there! ***

Elisabetta: Should I read it? Should I not read it? Would reading it be infidelity? I mean, God knows I would never willfully commit adultery...fine. Read it.

“If you ever loved me, please trust the man who brought this note. -Carlo” that’s it?

Éboli: soooooooooooooooooooo are all the French ladies as pretty as everyone says they are?

Rodrigo: I think you’re lowkey flirting with me and I’m not sure how to handle it so I’m just gonna say that you’re one of the most beautiful and gracious ladies I’ve ever met and the ladies of France would do well to be as lovely as you

Elisabetta: Okay, Rodrigo, I’m pleased with you so I’ll give you one favor card to use at any time.

Rodrigo: Can I use it now on behalf of someone else?

Elisabetta: ...sure, I guess, you little self-sacrificer. 

Éboli: Oh come on, why are you using it for someone else if you’re so worthy?

Elisabetta and Éboli: Who’s it for?

Rodrigo: Look: we all love Carlo, right?

Éboli: ...in what sense?

Rodrigo: You know what I mean. ;)

Éboli: CALLED IT so you’re the Gay Best Friend

Rodrigo: yeah. What’s it matter?

Éboli: I may or may not have had a bet going on it. ****

Rodrigo: ANYWAY we all love Carlo and he’s suffering and if he had a private meeting with you that would REALLY HELP

Éboli: y’know, one day I saw him while I was with Elisabetta and he started freaking out when he saw us so that OBVIOUSLY means he loves me but he keeps trying to hide it and idk why

Elisabetta: I feel like I’m gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie

Rodrigo: PLEASE HELP CARLO

Elisabetta: Very well. Everyone out. Send Carlo in.

*Everyone else leaves and Carlo enters.*

Carlo: I need to ask my Queen for one thing. Please intercede with the King on my behalf and get him to allow me to go to Flanders because I cannot stand it here.

Elisabetta: I can arrange that, my son.

Carlo: nooooooooooooooooooooo don’t call me that because it reminds me that we were happy for one day and then everything shattered

At least you could say SOMETHING but noooooooooooooooooooooo you’re like cold dead marble

Elisabetta: look buddy I’m just following my duty and honor 

Carlo: just LISTENING to your voice makes me happy

Elisabetta: Carlo, I would love to be beside you more than anything…

Carlo: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY YOU STILL CARE ABOUT ME ISABELLA I WOULD DIE AT YOUR FEET *****

*He faints.*

Elisabetta: HEAVEN HELP HIM BECAUSE OTHERWISE HE’S GONNA DIE IN MY ARMS

Carlo (delirious): ELISABETTA EVERYTHING IS BECOMING BEAUTIFUL AGAIN IT’S YOU MY LOVE

Elisabetta: OMG HE’S DYING

Carlo: WHY DO I HAVE TO COME BACK TO REALITY

Elisabetta: CARLO CAN YOU HEAR ME CARLO

Carlo: EVEN IF GOD HIMSELF WERE TO STRIKE ME DOWN I LOVE YOU AND I’VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING ELSE

Elisabetta: FINE THEN GO KILL YOUR FATHER AND THEN YOU CAN MARRY ME WHILE COVERED IN HIS BLOOD

Carlo: WHAT NO I MUST BE CURSED

*He flees.*

Elisabetta: ...thank God.

*Tebaldo runs in.*

Tebaldo: ELISABETTA WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM THE KING IS HERE I DON’T WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO YOU BUT—

*Filippo enters with Rodrigo, Éboli, and a bunch of other court people.*

Filippo: THERE IS A RULE THAT SAYS AT LEAST ONE LADY-IN-WAITING MUST BE WITH THE QUEEN AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE I SAID SO SO WHO BROKE THE RULES

*The Countess d’Aremberg steps forward.*

 You are going back to France tomorrow.

People of the Court: THAT’S A HUGE INSULT TO THE QUEEN

Elisabetta: Hey, listen to me. I know you’re getting banished but please don’t start crying on me, okay? You’re still with me in my heart and I still love you and you getting banished doesn’t change that one. bit. When you go back, my heart will go with you too.

*She gives her a ring.*

I’m not proposing, but this is still a token of how much I love and admire you. Take it, and whatever you do, do NOT tell anyone about how badly they’re treating me here. I wouldn’t want them to worry about me.

Filippo: Humph. What an actress.

Rodrigo and the Court People: SHE’S SO WONDERFUL

*Everyone starts to leave except Filippo, but as Rodrigo is about to go:*

Filippo: You, Rodrigo, stay.

*Rodrigo doubles back.*

Why have you never asked to see me? You’re a loyal man and I’d be more than happy to see you if you asked.

Rodrigo: Well, no offense, but I’m not much into following others’ caprice and what could I possibly need? I’m perfectly fine as is.

Filippo: A bold one, I see! I can forgive that...but not always. Anyway, you’re a soldier, and an outstanding one, I’ve heard. Don’t you want to fight?

Rodrigo: When Spain needs a fighter, I will fight.

Filippo: I know. So the big question is: what can I do for you?

Rodrigo: For me? Nothing. For others…

Filippo: wait wait wait. “For others?” what kind of self-sacrificer are you?

Rodrigo: If you’re not too angry, I’ll tell you.

Filippo: Very well. Speak freely.

Rodrigo: I just came back from Flanders, and you know as well as I that Flanders is a beautiful place. Well, it was. Now it’s horrible. I MEAN ORPHANS ARE WANDERING THE STREETS AND CHILDREN ARE BEING KILLED AND EVERYTHING’S ON FIRE AND THE RIVERS ARE RUNNING RED WITH BLOOD and thank GOD I’m able to tell you about all this because who else will?

Filippo: Look, blood is the price for peace! We can’t have the Flemish trying to rebel with their newfangled delusions of independence and their Protestantism and whatever the kids are all into nowadays. This will all lead to a brighter future.

Rodrigo: ...You really think that will work?

Filippo: It already works in Spain! Everyone here is faithful to God and to me, and they’re doing just fine. I’m offering the same terms to Flanders and it’s not my fault they’re not accepting the peace.

Rodrigo: A HORRIBLE PEACE THE PEACE OF THE TOMB

*Music: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-DUNNN-DUNNN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-DUUUUUUUUUUN. Closeup on Filippo at this point optional.* ******

My King, may history never say of you: “He was a Nero!”

*And then Rodrigo really goes off.*

So this is the peace you want to give the world? A peace where soldiers and priests are pitiless murderers? A peace where so many people are dying that everyone curses you? Look, you have the power to redeem it all and become the best king ever: all you have to do is give them freedom. GIVE THEM FREEDOM

Filippo: Oh...you strange dreamer. You’re young and idealistic, you have no idea. If you did, you would change your mind. Don’t worry, though, I will not hold this against you; I’ll simply forget everything you said. But beware the Grand Inquisitor. He will not be so forgiving.

Rodrigo: But—

Filippo: You still have not asked me for anything? Let me ask you for something: I want to have you by my side, which may entail...several different things.

Rodrigo: With all due respect, my answer remains the same: I’m fine as is.

Filippo: NO YOU’RE TOO PROUD AND YOU’VE SEEN MY VULNERABILITY AND MY ANGUISH BECAUSE MY SON IS A DISAPPOINTMENT AND I’M PRETTY SURE MY WIFE AND HIM ARE HAVING AN INCESTUOUS AFFAIR *******

Rodrigo: WHAT NO THEY WOULD NEVER ESPECIALLY NOT CARLO HE IS PURE

Filippo: I need you to find out what’s going on. Effective immediately, I grant you free access to the Queen at all times. I’m placing my heart in your hands.

Rodrigo: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what’s happening what about Carlo WAIT I COULD USE THIS TO MAYBE CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT FLANDERS

Filippo: I hope that you can help me find peace…I’ve been looking for a man for a long time, and now I found him in you...

Rodrigo: THIS IS MY CHANCE THERE IS HOPE

Filippo: It’s worth saying one more time: Beware the Grand Inquisitor!

*He extends his hand to Rodrigo, who kneels and kisses it.*

Rodrigo: My King!

Notes

Act III:

Scene 1:

The gardens of the royal palace in Madrid, shortly before midnight. There is a party going on in the distance.

Partygoers: WOOHOO WE LOVE PARTIES WE WANNA PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG AND MAKE DAY NEVER COME WOOHOO

*Elisabetta and Éboli walk in together.*

Elisabetta: I mean, I love parties as much as the next person, but I’m just super worn-out and I kinda want to go pray instead.

Éboli: but parties are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun and everyone’s gonna be theeeeeeeeeeere

Elisabetta: And they’re expecting me, but I don’t want to go. Here, take all these accessories, take that veil, put it all on, and...perfect! They’ll never know it’s you instead of me. Have fun okay bye now

*She goes back into the palace.*

Éboli: ooh, playing queen for a night will be fun! WAIT while I’m wearing this veil I should get Carlo to come meet me in the gardens and ask him if he likes me this plan is FOOLPROOF

*She writes a note and gives it to a passing page.*

THIS WILL BE THE BEST NIGHT EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER **

*She leaves.*

*At this point, the party continues with a ballet about the legend of La Peregrina as entertainment for the party guests.* ***

*Carlo enters, holding Éboli’s note— but the note is unsigned.*

Carlo: “Meet me at midnight in the royal garden under the laurels near the fountain.” Okay, I may not be the smartest person in the world, but it’s midnight, and I’m in the right place, so… ELISABETTA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GET TO SEE HER AGAIN I AM SO HAPPY

*Éboli enters in the disguise she got from Elisabetta. Carlo immediately mistakes her for Elisabetta.*

IT’S YOU I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Éboli: so he DOES LOVE ME THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER

Carlo: LET’S FORGET EVERYTHING I LOVE YOU

*Éboli unveils herself.*

wait WHAT oh God no it’s not the Queen!

Éboli: ...are you okay? wait...do you not trust me? look you can trust me I know people are trying to plot against you

Carlo: I KNOW THAT THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE

Éboli: y’know, I heard your dad and Rodrigo talking about you

Carlo: you WHAT my dad with RODRIGO

Éboli: I CAN SAVE YOU I LOVE YOU

Carlo: Look, you are very nice and I’m thankful for your help but I’m afraid this is all just a strange dream—

Éboli: A DREAM?!?!?!?!?! Wait, so you didn’t know this was me, so you’re not actually in love with me, which means—

OH MY GOD YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THE QUEEN WHAT THE FUCK

Carlo: god DAMN it PLEASE HAVE MERCY

*Rodrigo runs in because...he happened to be taking a walk or something I guess.*

Rodrigo: HEY STOP IT HE’S CRAZY Carlo I’m saying that for your own good I know you’re probably not actually crazy

Éboli: I KNOW EVERYTHING SO HE’S SCREWED

Rodrigo: what do you MEAN

Éboli: Let me put it this way: I know all his cards. I also know all your cards: you are the king’s favorite. However, neither of you know mine. 

Rodrigo: but what do you MEAN by all this

Éboli: Nothing, just that Carlo’s fate is now entirely in my hands.

Rodrigo: WHY DID YOU COME HERE

Éboli: I’M NOT TELLING

Rodrigo: BUT CARLO IS INNOCENT AND SO GOD WILL DEFEND HIM AND SMITE THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU

Éboli: FINE SMITE AWAY but may I remind you that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Carlo: I’M SO STUPID I’VE RUINED ELISABETTA’S LIFE and also possibly my own but it was a huge mess anyway so yeah ONLY GOD CAN BE MY JUDGE NOW

Éboli: OH I SEE HOW IT IS ELISABETTA WANTED TO ACT ALL HOLY AND STUFF TO HIDE THE FACT THAT SHE’S HAVING AN AFFAIR 

Rodrigo: YOU HAVE CROSSED A LINE AND I WILL KILL YOU FOR IT

Carlo: RODRIGO DON’T

Rodrigo: I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TELLING YOU DON’T

Carlo: RODRIGO DON’T

Éboli: I’M WAITING FOR YOU TO KILL ME

Rodrigo: HOW ABOUT NOPE

Éboli: WHY NOT

Rodrigo: because I’m going to leave all this up to God because that’s my only hope at this point

Éboli: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE AND THE EARTH WILL SWALLOW YOU UP ALIVE CARLO

Rodrigo: IF YOU TELL THEN GOD HIMSELF WILL SMITE YOU

Carlo: SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING

Éboli: THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER

*She leaves.*

Rodrigo: hey Carlo if you have any important papers about Flanders on you give them to me I need them for something

Carlo: ...to you? to the confidant of the King?

Rodrigo: you really suspect me? ME? your boyfriend?

Carlo: NO I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE HOW COULD I HAVE EVER DOUBTED YOU HERE TAKE THEM ALL

*He gives his papers to Rodrigo.*

Rodrigo: MY DEAR CARLO THANK YOU SO MUCH 

Carlo: I ABANDON MYSELF TO YOU

*They fall into each other’s arms.*

Scene 2:

The following day, in the square before the Church of Our Lady of Atocha in Madrid. Preparations are being made for an auto-da-fé. Guards are trying to hold the people back as bells ring everywhere.****

People: WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY FOR AN AUTO-DA-FÉ WHAT A SUNNY SUMMER SKY WHAT A DAY WHAT A DAY FOR AN AUTO-DA-FÉ IT’S A LOVELY DAY FOR DRINKING AND FOR WATCHING PEO— wait never mind that’s the wrong auto-da-fé song start over *****

TODAY IS AWESOME BECAUSE WE GET TO CELEBRATE FILIPPO WHO IS THE GREATEST KING EVER AND WE ALL LOVE HIM AND THE WORLD TREMBLES BEFORE HIM AND ALSO WE LOVE GETTING TO BURN PEOPLE

*A bunch of monks lead those condemned by the Inquisition as heretics across the square.*

Monks: TODAY IS THE FATAL DAY WHERE THE HERETICS WILL DIE ACCORDING TO GOD’S JUST WILL but God will maaaaaaaaaaaybe forgive them if they repent of their heresy

People: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

*An extremely long royal procession, including Elisabetta and Rodrigo, crosses the square towards the church.*

Royal Herald: OPEN UP CHURCH DOORS WE WANT TO SEE THE KING

People: WHAT HE SAID

*The doors open and Filippo leaves the church.*

Filippo: I PROMISED AS YOUR KING TO KILL ALL THE HERETICS AND I INTEND TO DO SO BECAUSE I’M NOT LIKE SOME LEADERS WHO FAIL TO KEEP THEIR PROMISES AND ARE SOFT ON CRIME

People: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

*Carlo leads in six Flemish deputies, who kneel before the King.*

Elisabetta: OH SHOOT HE’S HERE

Rodrigo: uhhhhhhhhh what is he doing

Filippo: ...who are these people?

Carlo: They are representatives of Flanders and Brabant. ******

Flemish Deputies: Your Majesty, we may be suffering immensely, but we’re still here and we’re still a concern, so if you have ever received mercy, then please pass it along to us because all the Flemish people are suffering and maybe you could save us with God’s help!

Filippo: YOU ARE TRAITOROUS TO YOUR GOD AND KING SO NO GUARDS TAKE THEM AWAY

Monks: YEAH THEY HAVE NO FAITH IN GOD AND THEY DESERVE WHAT’S COMING TO THEM

Everyone Else: please be merciful and spare them have pity they’re suffering and dying

Carlo: DAD IT’S TIME THAT I LEARNED TO RULE BECAUSE I’M JUST SITTING AROUND HERE AND DOING NOTHING USEFUL SO IF I’M SUPPOSED TO RULE THE WHOLE SPANISH EMPIRE SOMEDAY THEN I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SOME PRACTICE SO GIVE ME BRABANT AND FLANDERS

Filippo: ...do you think I’m so dumb as to actually do that?! YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LEAD THE FLEMISH REBELLION AND TRY TO KILL ME WITH THE SWORD I GIVE YOU

Carlo: ONLY GOD KNOWS WHETHER THAT’S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN

Elisabetta and Rodrigo: uh oh he’s done for

Carlo: I SWEAR BEFORE GOD THAT I WILL SAVE THE FLEMISH PEOPLE

*He draws his sword on Filippo.*

Everyone Else: WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HE’S LOST HIS MIND

Filippo: DISARM HIM

*Awkward silence.*

I SAID SOMEONE DISARM HIM

Carlo: WHO WILL DARE DISARM ME

*Crickets.*

Filippo: IS NO ONE GOING TO DISARM HIM

*He takes the Captain of the Guard’s sword.*

FINE MEXICAN STANDOFF THEN

*Crickets.*

FOR THE LAST TIME SOMEONE DISARM HIM

Rodrigo: for God’s sake CARLO GIVE ME YOUR SWORD (I’m trying to save your life here)

Carlo: You? Rodrigo?

*He gives Rodrigo his sword. Rodrigo in turn gives it to Filippo.*

Everyone Else: ...oh shit. That was the twist of the year.

Filippo: Marquis, I now promote you to Duke!

*He dubs Rodrigo.*

NOW LET’S GO CELEBRATE

*Everyone goes to their places to watch the burning of the heretics.*

People: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY EVERYONE LOVES FILIPPO except those Flemish people who are about to get burned but we don’t talk about them YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Monks: TIME TO GO BURN SOME HERETICS

A Celestial Voice: You poor souls, come, come to heaven and find peace with God! *******

Deputies: GOD WHY AREN’T YOU DOING SOME SORT OF MIRACLE TO STOP THIS THEY CLAIM THEY’RE DOING THIS IN YOUR NAME

*The pyre is lit.*

The Voice: Though you have been condemned as heretics on earth, come and be forgiven!

Deputies: THESE FLAMES DO NOT COME FROM GOD

Filippo, Monks, and People: GLORY TO GOD ********

*The flames rise.*

Notes

Act IV:

Scene 1:

Shortly before dawn the following day, in Filippo II’s study. Filippo is alone, lost in thought. 

Filippo: She never loved me...never has, never will...I still remember seeing her when she arrived, and she took one look at me and my white hair and her face fell...no, she does not love me!

HEY CELLO COULD YOU SHUT UP FOR A SEC I’M ALREADY HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING AS IS

Solo Cellist In The Pit: but this is my big momeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent

Filippo: NO IT’S MINE AND I CAN’T SLEEP SO SHUT UP

*The cellist obliges and Filippo looks around.*

Where am I? wait...I’ve been up all night, it’s almost morning, the candles have almost burned out, just like my days slowly dwindling...dear God, I can’t sleep…

When my life has reached its evening, I’ll sleep forever, in my tomb, in the Escorial, I’ll sleep forever...alone… **

If only I could read human hearts like God could, that would give me peace, but if I sleep, then I could be betrayed and not know it and I could lose everything!

No, she has never loved me, she does not love me, she never will love me!

*Count Lerma and two Dominican friars lead in the Grand Inquisitor.*

Count Lerma: THE GRAND INQUISITOR IS HERE

Filippo: ...Dammit.

Grand Inquisitor: Am I before the King?

Filippo: Yes, thanks for coming, Father. I have a major problem: Carlo is rebelling against me.

Grand Inquisitor: So what are you gonna do about it?

Filippo: I don’t know; part of me just wants to let him go but part of me wants to…

Grand Inquisitor: Wants to…?

Filippo: Question: If I ordered Carlo’s execution, would you absolve me?

Grand Inquisitor: Yes.

Filippo; BUT I’M A CHRISTIAN HOW CAN I ORDER THE DEATH OF MY OWN CHILD EVEN FOR MY EMPIRE’S SAKE

Grand Inquisitor: ...You forgetting about Jesus?

Filippo: BUT THAT WAS ALMOST 1600 YEARS AGO

Grand Inquisitor: THAT DOESN’T MATTER

Filippo: BUT EVEN THOUGH WE’RE NOT ON GREAT TERMS AS A DAD I STILL LOVE MY SON CAN I JUST DENY THAT

Grand Inquisitor: Everything falls silent before faith.

Filippo: Very well.

Grand Inquisitor: Any other questions?

Filippo: No.

Grand Inquisitor: I’ll talk, then. Long story short: if you thought Carlo was bad, then you’ll be even more appalled to discover that a man, a close companion of yours, one you trusted, is ruining you and our country. And I have foolishly allowed it!

Filippo: But but but I’ve found a man!

Grand Inquisitor: What do you need a man for? No man is your equal!

Filippo: SHUT UP PRIEST ***

Grand Inquisitor: You’re trying to break apart the whole Catholic world! Normally, I’d condemn you for it, but I will relent on one condition: give us the Marquis di Posa.

Filippo: NEVER

Grand Inquisitor: FINE THEN I’LL HAND YOU OVER TO THE INQUISITION

Filippo: SHUT UP

Grand Inquisitor: WHY AM I EVEN HERE

Filippo: FINE DO WHAT YOU WANT but seriously I just want us to have peace please forget all this

Grand Inquisitor: Perhaps…

*He is led out.*

Filippo: So the throne must always give way to the altar!

*Elisabetta runs in, frantic.*

Elisabetta: JUSTICE I DEMAND JUSTICE AND I HAVE FULL FAITH IN YOU TO GIVE IT everyone here is treating me horribly and to TOP IT ALL OFF THE BOX WHERE I KEEP MY JEWELS AND OTHER PRECIOUS ITEMS HAS BEEN STOLEN

Filippo: Your jewelry box? You mean...this box?

*He reveals a box sitting on his table.*

Elisabetta: oh GOD no

Filippo: Open it.

Elisabetta: No.

Filippo: FINE THEN I WILL

*He breaks it open.*

Elisabetta: death in 3...2…

Filippo: YOU KEEP CARLO’S PICTURE IN HERE DO YOU HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING

Elisabetta: Loud and clear.

Filippo: You keep it...with your precious items?

Elisabetta: Yes.

Filippo: You DARE TO ADMIT THIS?!

Elisabetta: Yes! What do I have to hide? He was once my fiancé, and he gave me his portrait then, so what? Now I’m your wife, and I’m loyal to you. And you dare to insult and doubt me! Me! A princess of France, now the queen of Spain, me!

Filippo: HOW DARE YOU TO SPEAK TO ME SO BOLDLY YOU THINK I’M WEAK AND THAT YOU CAN DEFY ME BUT I’LL SHOW YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE

Elisabetta: What did I do?

Filippo: If you have betrayed me, I swear to holy God above, I WILL HAVE BLOOD

Elisabetta: I pity you.

Filippo: Ha! Pity...FROM AN ADULTEROUS WIFE

*Elisabetta screams and faints.*

SOMEONE HELP THE QUEEN

*Rodrigo and Éboli immediately run in.* ****

Éboli: OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Rodrigo: You rule half the world. Are you the only person you cannot control?

Filippo: I shouldn’t have suspected her I fucked up and I’m very ashamed of myself now thanks whatever demon made me think this

Éboli: I RUINED HER LIFE I CAUSED THIS HORRIBLE THING I BETRAYED HER I FEEL AWFUL

Filippo: Looks like she was loyal all this time…

Rodrigo: Now I need to take action because someone needs to; a man needs to die for Spain to be saved, and so that man will be me.

Elisabetta (waking up): ...where am I? Everyone’s abandoned me...Mama, I just want to see you again...I’m a stranger here and all my hope in this world is gone… *****

Éboli: IF I CAN’T FIND FORGIVENESS ON EARTH OR IN HEAVEN FOR WHAT I’VE DONE I’LL JUST DIE BECAUSE WHAT I DID TO HER WAS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE

*Filippo and Rodrigo leave. Éboli throws herself at Elisabetta’s feet.*

FORGIVE ME ELISABETTA I DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE

Elisabetta: Why are you...what did you do?

Éboli: I FEEL HORRIBLE YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD PERSON AND I DID SOMETHING AWFUL TO YOU BECAUSE I GUESS I’M JUST A HORRIBLE PERSON 

...I was the one who took the box and gave it to Filippo.

Elisabetta: You?

Éboli: YES ME I ACCUSED YOU BECAUSE I WAS SO PISSED OFF THAT CARLO LOVED YOU INSTEAD OF ME BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE CARLO BUT HE REJECTED ME

Elisabetta: You love him? It’s okay. Get up, you don’t need to beg for forgiveness at my feet.

Éboli: No...it gets much worse.

Elisabetta: What do you mean?

Éboli: PLEASE FORGIVE ME

okay so the thing is, I ruined everything even more because I accused you of committing adultery, but the truth is...I had an affair...with the King.

*Elisabetta (understandably) reels at this, but suppresses that and turns back to Éboli.*

Elisabetta: I gave you a crucifix once. Give it back.

*Éboli does so.*

You have twenty-four hours to choose between a convent and exile. Either way, I want you out of my court so I will never see you again. Be happy. Farewell.

*She leaves.*

Éboli: NO I’M NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN I MAJORLY FUCKED UP

MY BEAUTY YOU ARE SUCH A FATAL AND CRUEL GIFT FROM HEAVEN AND THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF ALL MY PROBLEMS SO I CURSE YOU BECAUSE NOW ALL I CAN DO IS SUFFER AND I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIX THIS

Elisabetta, my queen, I ruined you because I was so selfish and I’ll regret this for the rest of my life so I’ll just go into a convent and hide all my pain and suffering…

*She sees Carlo’s death warrant on the desk.*

OH GOD CARLO’S GOING TO BE EXECUTED TOMORROW NO NO NO wait WAIT A SECOND I HAVE ONE DAY LEFT HERE THERE IS HOPE THANK GOD I CAN AT THE VERY LEAST SAVE HIM BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM AND I HAVE ONE BLESSED DAY AND I WILL USE THAT DAY TO SAVE HIM

*She runs out.*

Notes

Scene 2:

Later the same day, in a nearby prison where Carlo is being held. He is sitting with his head in his hands. Rodrigo enters and talks briefly to the guards, who all leave.

Rodrigo: Carlo, it’s me.

Carlo: Thanks for coming to visit Carlo in prison.

Rodrigo: Stop referring to yourself in the third person, my dear Carlo.

Carlo: I’m useless for saving Flanders. I’m useless for EVERYTHING.

Rodrigo: NO YOU’RE NOT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LET ME EMBRACE YOU I HAVE SAVED YOU

Carlo: How?

Rodrigo: I need to say farewell. Carlo, as much as it hurts to say this, and it’s a lot, we can never see each other again here below because my days have come to an end but I hope that we can see each other again and love each other when we are both with God...

Why are you crying? I’m happy to die for you!

Carlo: Why do you keep talking about death?

Rodrigo: WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME look the thing is I cleared your name and now they all think that I’m the one leading the rebellion

Carlo: Ha! Who’d ever believe that?

Rodrigo: Well, they have twenty of your papers found in my possession— **

Carlo: wait THAT’S WHY YOU ASKED ME FOR THE PAPERS?!?!?! Goddammit I AM SO STUPID

Rodrigo: shhhhhhhhh anyway that was more than enough proof and now there’s a price on my head

*A man in clerical garb and an assassin walk in (and no, this is not the start of a bar joke) and point out Rodrigo to each other.*

Carlo: I’LL TELL FILIPPO EVERYTHING HE’LL HAVE TO LET YOU GO

Rodrigo: No! It’s all up to you now; you must save Flanders and give it new life, and I must die for you.

*The assassin shoots Rodrigo at that moment.*

Carlo: OH MY GOD IT’S DEATH but...for whom? ***

Rodrigo: ...for me. The King’s revenge is swift. Listen.

Tomorrow, Elisabetta will be waiting for you at San Yuste. She knows everything and she will help you get out...I’m getting weak, Carlo, give me your hand!

I will die, but I’m happy because I’ve been able to save you and perhaps even by doing that save Spain! I’m so happy...but don’t forget me, Carlo, do not forget me! You were destined to reign and I to die for you!

No...no...the ground is giving way...I’m dying...Carlo...give me your hand...save Flanders...I love you, Carlo!...farewell...ah…

*He dies. Carlo collapses on his body as Filippo enters with his retinue.*

Filippo: HEY CARLO HERE’S YOUR SWORD BACK BECAUSE I GUESS YOU’RE NOT THE TRAITOR AFTER ALL

Carlo: STAY AWAY GOD HAS COVERED YOUR FOREHEAD WITH THIS INNOCENT MAN’S BLOOD

Filippo: MY SON—

Carlo: I’M NOT YOUR SON ANYMORE CHOOSE ONE FROM THESE MURDERERS BECAUSE YOU MURDERED THIS MAN WHO LOVED ME AND SACRIFICED HIS LIFE FOR ME IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING AND WE HAD ETERNAL UNBREAKABLE BONDS BETWEEN US AND MY KINGDOM IS WITH HIM

****Filippo: I might as well die because I killed the one good man God created in this world...me! I killed him! I loved him, he revealed a new world to me, and I threw him into the tomb! 

Courtiers: Why should we go on living? 

Carlo: MY LOVE SUPPORT ME AND LET ME BE THE HERO YOU ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BE AND LET ME HAVE SOME HELP FROM GOD OR AT LEAST PUT ME NEXT TO YOU IN THE TOMB ****

*The prison’s alarm bell sounds.*

People (outside): GET ‘EM WE WILL STRIKE ANYONE WHO OPPOSES US DOWN INCLUDING THE KING

Count Lerma: THE PEOPLE ARE RIOTING THEY WANT THE INFANTE

Filippo: OPEN THE PRISON GATES

Courtiers: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

Filippo: did I STUTTER

*The crowd pours in.*

People: WE WANT THE INFANTE AND IF YOU DON’T GIVE IN WE’LL KILL YOU

*Éboli runs in, disguised as a page.*

Éboli: CARLO GO NOW

*Carlo escapes as Elisabetta enters.*

LOOK ELISABETTA I STARTED THIS WHOLE RIOT TO SAVE CARLO BECAUSE I LOVE HIM anyway I’m going to a convent now farewell forever

Elisabetta: oh my GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

Filippo: YOU ALL WANT THE INFANTE YOU CAN HAVE HIM

*The Grand Inquisitor enters.* 

Grand Inquisitor: SACRILEGE ABSOLUTE SACRILEGE

The People: oh SHIT

Grand Inquisitor: BOW DOWN BEFORE THE KING WHOM GOD PROTECTS

*Everyone else kneels.*

People: Dear Lord, forgive us…

Filippo and the Grand Inquisitor: GLORY TO GOD

Lerma, the Courtiers, and the People: Long live the King!

*Éboli collapses at Elisabetta’s feet. Elisabetta holds out her hands to her in a sign of forgiveness.* *****

Notes

Act V:

The following night, back before the tomb of Charles V at the monastery of San Yuste. Elisabetta enters, kneels at the tomb, and begins to pray.*

Elisabetta: I don’t know if you can hear me up there, Charles, but you knew the utter meaninglessness of all the vanities of the world and now you sleep so peacefully...so if souls still weep in heaven, then weep for me and bring my tears to God…

Oh boy, Carlo’s coming here...he must leave and I must watch over him from afar like I told Rodrigo I would...he must go find his glorious destiny while I can only wait to die…

France! My beautiful home...and Fontainebleau, the one place in the world where I was happy, where God heard my eternal vow of love, and that eternity lasted only a day…as for Spain, if Carlo should ever pass through these gardens again, may he hear songs of our love…

Farewell dreams, farewell hopes and illusions, farewell lost love, farewell youth, my heart only has one desire now: the peace of death!

Charles, if you’re still listening after all this, bring my tears to God!

*Carlo enters.*

Carlo: IT’S YOU

Elisabetta: I ask one thing of you: forget me and live.

Carlo: I want to be strong, but love…

Elisabetta: Think about Rodrigo! He didn’t just sacrifice himself for ideas, he sacrificed himself for Flanders and more importantly, for you!

Carlo: When I get to Flanders, I want to build a monument to him!

Elisabetta: Heaven will smile upon him!

Carlo: It once smiled upon me too and then vanished! But no more of that: I see all the horrors in Flanders he once talked about, and I see the people reaching out to me, begging me to help them...and I will help them!

Elisabetta: Yes, you will be a hero! Go, go save them with all my love and support behind you!

Carlo: You know, before today, nothing could have pulled me away from you, but now honor has triumphed and I feel so much stronger in my mind and my heart! Even though I may hold you, I still want to go to Flanders, and I will, and I will save the Flemish!

You’re crying?

Elisabetta: Just because I admire you and you are a hero. But you see, we will see each other again in a better world, and there we’ll finally be able to love each other and be happy as God wanted us to but we never got to…

Carlo: We’ll be happy as God wanted us to…

Elisabetta: But for now, we must say farewell.

Carlo: Farewell, Mother!

Elisabetta: Farewell, my son!

Carlo and Elisabetta: Farewell forever!

*Filippo suddenly enters with his retinue and the Grand Inquisitor and grabs Elisabetta’s arm.*

Filippo: YES FAREWELL FOREVER YOU’VE REALLY GONE AND DONE IT AND NOW I WANT A DOUBLE SACRIFICE AND I WILL DO MY DUTY

Grand Inquisitor: SO WILL THE INQUISITION

Elisabetta: OH GOD NO

Carlo: GOD WILL AVENGE ME AND SHATTER THIS TRIBUNAL OF BLOOD

*Suddenly, the tomb opens and the Monk reemerges.*

The Monk: We may try to find peace here but even then suffering is always with us because we can only find peace in heaven…

Grand Inquisitor: WAIT THAT’S CHARLES V’S VOICE

Filippo: OH GOD IT’S MY FATHER

Elisabetta: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*The Monk drags Carlo into the tomb.* **

Notes

The End

I hope you enjoyed this! PLEASE leave any and all suggestions in the comments, my messages, and/or my inbox! Thank you!

[count-di-luna]

Well, Rodrigo di Posa of course! And Filippo :D

Rodrigo

Headcanon A:  realistic - he’s gay. is this even “headcanon”, it’s just straight up canon

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: Rodrigo doesn’t know he’s in an opera, and that’s how he ended up being a good and pure baritone. he just doesn’t know the traditions.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends - he did sleep with Filippo for both political advantage and because he realized Filippo desperately needed love, but he feels very guilty about it 

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. - what do u mean he died. CLEARLY he faked his death and got Carlo to safety with the help of Carlo Quinto, then they ran away to Flanders where they led La Résistance and got married

Filippo

Headcanon A:  realistic: he’s bi and deeply in the closet, having a lot of Catholic Guilt™

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: it’s hard to think up something hilarious about him 

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends - he fell in love with Posa (pretty much canon tbh) and his aria, while mostly about Elisabeth, is also about him realizing everyone loves his son more

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. - after the finale he makes sure the Inquisitor meets an unfortunate “accident” and actively works on being a better husband

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Saul (Glyndebourne, 2015): Reactions, Part I

everyone keeps talking about how awesome this production apparently was and i still have never seen it (or the oratorio in general) so here we go i guess

no pic but: that overture was baller (especially the organ solo moments)

okay this is kind of a vibe tbh

oh that was much smaller than i thought it would be

oh dear

creepy figure twelve o’clock

COOL

also this SLAPS

that must be a very big table

also: COLORS

oh so that is just a head

preminger (barbie as princess and the pauper, 2004), c. 1738

actual footage of my 7th grade life science class after dissecting frogs

iestyn (my beloved) what are you doing

preminger has anger issues

tfw you suddenly get a rabid new fanbase

dance party!!!

yeah i mean this hardcore slaps

she does not look very enthusiastic lol

girl in blue has a lovely voice and is giving manic pixie dream girl

“yes i wanna clean his chest :)”

hmm

girl in yellow is not very enthusiastic at the prospect of marrying david 

“but i wanted to marry him why are you marrying him off to my sister who doesn’t even want him”

david and jonathan 😉

preminger thinks it’s sus

also: preminger is apparently saul but i do not care and i will be calling him preminger until i get tired of it or until he no longer looks like preminger, whichever comes first

iestyn is slaying

everyone stop mistreating yellow girl challenge

“great i have to be the emotional support for everyone around here”

classism

“it’s okay i still wuv you”

i support female rage

damage control

aww

i mean those sound kinda marriage-esque 👀

of COURSE she’s an oldest daughter she has oldest daughter energy

okay but vocally she slays

“i mean, i am also an option”

child abuse

“idk man i just yeeted a stone at a really tall dude and now i’m here watching family feuds play out in real time”

where did y’all come from

“too much drama fam”

michal is vibing

kickline time also this slaps

“but I want all the rabid fangirls uwu”

preminger rage time again 

“y’all done fucked up”

this is handel that should not be a problem

preminger is not in his right mind

this guy is supposed to be a high priest apparently but better yet, he’s giving off ✨vibes✨

sir if you look down you will see that preminger is having a seizure, which is a bigger problem than you having a Moment TM

slap

this is pretty

pure caring 🥺 (also this harp solo is GORG)

well that didn’t work

spittake gone wrong

fun activities: slamming rocks on tables

DUDE NO DON’T ASK HIM TO KILL HIS BOYFRIEND

“dad no it is time for MY aria listen to MY aria”

i believe that is called bipolar disorder

that is your DAUGHTER get your MOUTH off of her

“surprise! these are my backup dancers 😊”

“idk man there’s not an instruction manual for this”

schiller and verdi taking notes for rodrigo, marquis di posa, like ⬆️

choir practice vibes

one thing is for sure: this is a VIBE

[booking--it]

@incognito-insomniac tagged me for my OTPs and NOTPs. 

so here we go... 

Jarse (Morse/Jakes):

Morse/Strange: only one word necessary: M A T E Y 

Morse/debryn... (I’m sensing a theme here...):  old married couple.

Geraskier! (geralt/Jaskier) 

BoxFancy :Literally my favorite pairing. The height difference! The snark! I love them: 

Joan Thursday/Jim Strange :Because they would be a badass married couple

Morse/Bixby: The writers took almost all of that episode’s little details from the Great Gatsby, INCLUDING the homoerotic tension. 

Rodrigo di Posa/Carlo: YES this is an opera pairing. It’s all Simon Keenlyside’s fault. 

Fancy/Trewlove: but only in a puppy love way. I can’t see them staying togehter in any long-term capacity

NOTPs: 

Anything involving incest

Ludo Talenti/Violetta Talenti: I understand that it’s canon, but the power dynamic seems so unequal, and I can’t help shipping her with freedom, safety, and comfort

Thursday/Morse

I don’t think I have that many NOTPs, to be honest.

I’m tagging people that I’d like to get to know better... Sorry in advance if you’ve already been tagged!

@astridcontramundum, @drusilla-951, @rayatii, @wherehefoundtheporcupine, @ronniebox, @tea-cub, and anyoone else who wants to do it!

[monotonous-minutia]

there aren’t enough gifs in the world to capture the gayness of this moment, but I can try.

[lives-in-a-harpsichord]

For @widevibratobitch, Rodrigo di Posa as an Italian man c. 1590, and Don Carlo as a Venetian gentleman c. 1595, both from Verdi's Don Carlo!

[stoportotouch]

me: damn, the baritone never gets to be gay

guiseppe verdi: [creating the character of rodrigo di posa] oh, haven't you heard?

[2700fstreet]

OPERA / 2017-2018

DON CARLO

OPEN REHEARSAL

Washington National Opera

Music by Giuseppe Verdi Libretto by Joseph Méry and Camille Du Locle Translated into Italian by Achille de Lauzières and Angelo Zanardini Based on Friedrich von Schiller’s dramatic work Don Carlos

So, What’s Going On?

Spain, the mid-sixteenth century.

Our hero, Don Carlo isn’t doing well. The infante (een-FAHN-teh, basically a Spanish word for “prince”) can’t get along with his father, King Filippo II (fee-LEEP-poh), and, to top it off, Carlo has no real royal responsibilities to keep him busy.

Oh, and did we mention he’s in love with his stepmother?

Filippo had promised Carlo a beautiful French bride named Elisabetta (eh-leez-ah-BEHT-tah), but, at the last minute, the king swept in and married her himself. Not cool. Nope, definitely not cool.

Enter Rodrigo (ro-DREE-goh), a nobleman and Carlo’s best friend. Rodrigo tries to cheer Carlo up by getting him involved in a political cause (nothing says “distraction” like a revolution). Spanish-occupied Flanders, (present-day Belgium) Rodrigo explains, is badly oppressed and needs a leader ASAP. Having a lot of free time on his hands, Carlo agrees to act as “savior” to the Flemish (i.e., the folks from Flanders). Got it so far?

But there’s a catch. He’ll need his stepmom’s permission.

Rodrigo fires Carlo up for a Flemish fight.

Take a listen… In one of opera’s most famous duets, Rodrigo and Don Carlo take a vow of friendship and promise to work together to achieve freedom for Flanders. Listen for the sounds of the brass instruments, symbolizing war and aggression, as well as royalty.

Back to the story…

Rodrigo arranges a meeting between Carlo and Elisabetta, telling the queen her heartbroken stepson needs a favor. But one of the queen’s ladies-in-waiting, the Princess of Eboli (EHB-oh-lee), overhears and takes Carlo’s heartbreak completely out of context—she thinks Carlo might be in love with her.

At the meeting set up by Rodrigo, Carlo tells Elisabetta he’s dying of love.

In other palace news, the king is highly suspicious of Elisabetta’s relationship with Carlo. He summons Rodrigo and asks him to spy on Carlo and Elisabetta’s extracurricular activities. Rodrigo unwisely uses this moment to plead for Flanders, claiming the king is applying unnecessary force to maintain peace in the Flemish territories. Though slightly moved, Filippo warns Rodrigo his rebellious ways may get him into trouble with the Spanish Inquisition (…bet you weren’t expecting that).

Sometime later, Carlo receives a mysterious letter. Thinking Elisabetta wishes to see him, he waits for her in a romantic spot, and she promptly arrives wearing a veil for cover.

(Yeah, just kidding: It’s not really Elisabetta, but Eboli in disguise.)

Carlo whispers sweet nothings to “Elisabetta,” but when the mix-up comes to light, he tries to take back his professions of love. The damage is done, however—Eboli figures out Carlo’s words were meant for someone else…and that the “someone else” must be the queen.

Rodrigo rushes in. Believing Eboli will go straight to the king for revenge, he asks Carlo to hand over any incriminating evidence pertaining to Flanders.

Eboli plots vengeance against Carlo for (accidentally) playing with her heart.

But tensions between Filippo and Carlo are about to boil over anyway. At an auto-da-fé (an execution led by the Inquisition and overseen by the king), Carlo interrupts the ceremony by bringing some Flemish citizens before Filippo to call the king out and beg for royal mercy. Things get heated, and Carlo draws his sword. Horrified by this treasonous act, Filippo calls for someone to arrest his son. To everyone’s surprise, Rodrigo steps forward and leads Carlo to jail.

A private family feud is put on public display.

Take a listen… In his aria, “Ella giammai m’amò” (“She never loved me”), Filippo contemplates the sad state of his marriage. Listen for the sorrowful string music, which repeats incessantly as if to reflect Filippo’s relentless thoughts.

Filippo wants Carlo out of the way (like…completely out of the way), so the king appeals to the Grand Inquisitor to ask if the holy man will pardon Filippo for ordering Carlo’s execution. Convinced the uprising of the Protestant-leaning Flemish—and not Carlo—is the real threat to Spain and to the Catholic Church, the Inquisitor slyly suggests Filippo may be absolved if he hands over the traitorous Rodrigo in exchange. Yikes.

The Grand Inquisitor offers a terrible bargain: Religious blessing in exchange for Rodrigo’s demise.

Take a listen… In this intentionally frightening scene, the Grand Inquisitor’s deep and forceful voice, along with the quivering strings and percussion, remind the audience (and Filippo) that the church wields power in sixteenth-century Spain.

Suddenly, Elisabetta bursts in claiming she’s been robbed. She asks her husband to take action against the culprit, but Filippo quickly admits to the crime himself. He then confronts Elisabetta about a portrait of Carlo she keeps hidden in her stolen jewelry box. Elisabetta maintains her innocence, however. She may love Carlo, but she’s never been unfaithful.

And yet here’s a twist: Filippo has.

Filippo tries to shame Elisabetta.

While comforting the queen after Filippo’s accusation, Eboli confesses she’s been having an affair with the king and that jealousy (for both Carlo and Filippo) led her to steal Elisabetta’s box and throw some serious shade at the queen. Shocked, Elisabetta orders Eboli to head to a convent. Eboli searches for a way to make things right—and finds one. She stumbles onto Carlo’s death warrant and resolves to intervene before it’s too late.

Take a listen… Eboli curses her own vanity for inspiring her to betray her queen in the aria “O don fatale” (“Oh fatal gift”). Check out how the mezzo-soprano uses both high and low notes to convey her sense of frustration and despair in the musical sample below. Also: Listen for the outbursts from the trumpets, trombones, and horns at the opening. Can you tell things have gotten pretty serious?

But can Eboli alert Carlo in time? Can Rodrigo escape the watchful eye of the Inquisition? And, most importantly, will Elisabetta and Carlo be allowed to ride off into the Spanish sunset?

Who’s Who

(Italian version of the original Spanish names listed; English version names in parentheses)

Don Carlo (Don Carlos) infante of Spain (tenor—the highest male voice) Filippo (King Philip II) Carlo’s father and king of Spain (bass—the lowest male voice) Elisabetta (Elizabeth of Valois) queen of Spain (soprano—the highest female voice) The Princess of Eboli (known as “Eboli”) (mezzo-soprano—a middle-range female voice) Rodrigo marquis of Posa and Carlo’s friend (baritone—a middle-range male voice) The Grand Inquisitor (bass)

Good to Know

You’ve heard of the Spanish Inquisition before, right? No?

Okay, well, just in case you haven’t, you might want to keep in mind that the Spanish Inquisition was a Catholic branch of the Spanish government whose task was to find and “question” anyone who wasn’t loyal to the Catholic church, particularly Jews and Protestants. These “interviews” were often literal torture, as the Spanish monarchy was known to use the Inquisition as an excuse to enslave innocents in order to get free labor.

Now that you’re familiar with the Inquisition: Did you know King Philip II, his wife Elizabeth, his son Carlos, and the Princess of Eboli were also real? Philip II was a sixteenth-century Spanish monarch who did indeed marry a French woman (Elizabeth of Valois) whom he had initially intended for his son. Turns out Philip and Elizabeth actually had a reportedly happy marriage, and the love story between Elizabeth and her stepson was invented by writer Friedrich von Schiller in the eighteenth century and exploited by Verdi in the nineteenth century for maximum dramatic impact.

The Princess of Eboli was likewise a genuine attendant at court and the wife of King Philip’s right-hand man. Rodrigo, however, never actually existed; he’s more of an ideal representation of compassion and progressive thinking created by Schiller at a time when the Enlightenment ideals of reason and rationality swept across Europe.

And Carlos? Sadly the historical Carlos wasn’t quite the romantic hero he is in the opera. Rowdy, and unpredictable, the real-life Carlos was decidedly not in love with his stepmom. Yet, as in the opera, Carlos wasn’t given much power by his father and eventually grew fed up with life in Spain. The infante then demanded control over Flanders, which was being ruled by a brutal cardinal of the Catholic Inquisition.

Just like in the opera, Flanders was a place of political (and religious) unrest in the mid-sixteenth century. Absorbed into Spain’s considerable empire via a political marriage, Flanders was somewhat content to be ruled by Philip’s father, Charles V, who had been born in Flanders and was well respected there. Things changed when Philip assumed the throne, however: Philip was more Catholic than his father and the new king had no trouble sending clerical and military forces to keep the Protestant-friendly Flemish in line—often using violent methods of persuasion.

Philip ultimately deemed his son unfit to serve as ambassador to such an unstable region and had Carlos put in jail to prevent a political catastrophe (thanks, dad). Carlos died while under arrest, but the Flemish controversy continued, and uprisings followed soon after.

Check This Out…

Don Carlo features many melodies that repeat themselves to help the audience recall a particular scene or emotion from earlier in the story. Listen up for tunes that come back to haunt these characters again and again (especially the themes from Carlo and Rodrigo’s Act I duet, Carlo’s first lovesick solo, and the choir of horns that opens the opera).

Though Carlo is the title character, all the leading roles in the opera are given at least one aria (solo song) in which to express their feelings, and each character has their own unique musical and vocal style. Can you identify some of the ways in which Verdi gives each character his or her own spin? Is there a type of note (high, low, stretched out, cut short, etc.) or rhythm (slow, fast, galloping, etc.) that sticks out as being a specific character’s “signature sound”?

The finale of Don Carlo is notoriously open-ended, leaving much of the interpretation up to the performers and production team. Pay close attention during those final moments. What do you think the director and designers of this particular version wanted the audience to believe about the characters’ fates? Do you feel this explanation of the ending is correct? What do you think actually went down in the Spanish court?

Verdi wanted to immerse his audience in the culture and atmosphere of his operas. One of the ways he achieved this effect in Don Carlo was to include music that plays just off stage, giving the illusion of “surround sound” and extending the action of Don Carlo beyond the borders of the proscenium. Listen for the organ, church bells, brass band, choirs, and solo soprano voice coming from the wings of the theater. Do these help you feel like you’re at the heart of the story?

Think About This…

The dialogue between Filippo and the Grand Inquisitor—which was purposely added to the original story by Verdi and his librettists—includes some heavy musical clues regarding the evil subtext of the scene. In fact, Verdi uses ominous-sounding instruments to make it abundantly clear that some devilish plots are being hatched. What instruments stick out for you in this moment? What do you think Verdi’s position was regarding organized religion? What do you think he felt about monarchies like the one in Spain?

Eboli sings a song about a woman who hides her appearance and discovers a terrible secret. And…surprise! Later in the opera, the princess herself actually wears a veil and uncovers something about Don Carlo she wishes she hadn’t. Do you think the creators were making a specific point about disguises or about women who mask their identity?

Don Carlo is a mixture of big, crowded scenes for huge choruses and smaller, more intimate moments for four people or fewer. This contrast between public life and personal drama is something that continues to fascinate audiences in the twenty-first century. Can you name some recent films or TV shows in which the private struggles of a handful of characters are set against the backdrop of an overarching story that packs an epic and/or historical punch (hint: think The Crown or Game of Thrones minus the dragons)? Do they parallel Don Carlo in some way? Why do you think viewers are still drawn to these types of dramas?

Filippo, though tyrannical and misguided, is ultimately portrayed as a sad and lonely figure in the opera—thanks in large part to Verdi’s sympathetic music and also to the made-up love triangle between Filippo, his son, and his wife. Do you think Filippo’s desperate attempts to govern the lives of his family and his subjects are a response to his own feelings of helplessness? How do you think the other characters handle forces beyond their control (e.g., love, war, religious duty, honor, etc.)? Do you think anyone in the opera is more successful than Filippo at facing down these seemingly insurmountable challenges?

Take Action

As hinted above, the private actions in Don Carlo often have public consequences. Toward the end of the opera, Rodrigo, whose personal loyalties to the king and to Carlo are severely tested, ultimately chooses a path he feels will do the most good for the most people. In his beautiful final aria, he considers the type of legacy he wants to leave behind and asks that Carlo never forget him and never abandon the Flemish people. “Non ti scordar’” (“Do not forget”), he sings.

Take some time to think about how your own personal actions can affect public discourse or change. Research a group of people facing adversity like those in the Flemish territories mentioned in the opera (this could be a group you consider yourself a part of and/or strongly identify with, or it could also be a community you simply wish to help). Next, come up with a plan to spread the word and jumpstart a campaign to make a positive difference. Concerned for the people devastated by recent hurricanes, fires, and other natural disasters? Organize an afterschool meeting to educate your fellow students and to brainstorm fundraising ideas. Want to throw your support behind victims of abuse in a foreign nation? Set up a crowdsourced relief fund and ask family and friends to donate.

Want a wider audience for your social justice campaign? Use social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or tumblr to get people talking about your cause and to post news and pictures of outreach events. If you decide to post, let us know by using the hashtag #donotforget.

Explore More

Go even deeper with the Don Carlo Extras.

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Major support for WNO is provided by Jacqueline Badger Mars.

David M. Rubenstein is the Presenting Underwriter of WNO.

WNO acknowledges the longstanding generosity of Life Chairman Mrs. Eugene B. Casey.

WNO's Presenting Sponsor

Don Carlo is a production of the Clarice Smith Opera Series.

Additional support for Don Carlo is provided by The Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts.

The Domingo-Cafritz Young Artist Program is made possible through the generous support of The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, with additional funding provided by Judy and Billy Cox, Robert and Lynn Downing, Carl M. Freeman Foundation, Virginia McGehee Friend, Susan Carmel Lehrman, John & Mary Lee Malcolm, Michael F. and Noémi K. Neidorff and The Centene Charitable Foundation, Mr. and Mrs. Geoffrey P. Pohanka,  Dr. Arthur and Mrs. Robin Sagoskin, Mr. Alan J. Savada and Mr. Will Stevenson, Dr. and Mrs. Guillermo Schultz, Mr. and Mrs. Michael R. Sonnenreich, Washington National Opera Council, and The Women’s Committee of Washington National Opera.

This performance is made possible by the Kimsey Endowment; The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation and the U.S. Department of Education.

Major support for educational programs at the Kennedy Center is provided by David M. Rubenstein through the Rubenstein Arts Access Program.

Kennedy Center education and related artistic programming is made possible through the generosity of the National Committee for the Performing Arts and the President's Advisory Committee on the Arts.