#rohanna

[iamthekaijuking]

Gigabash character overview: Rohanna

Plant kaiju are kind of a rarity in the genre. Hell, I’m pretty sure there’s more animate object kaiju than there are plant ones. I suppose that’s cause the average viewer/reader of kaiju media would probably be more engaged with a more active animal-like kaiju than an immobile plant one (plants can actually move btw… just very slowly and they usually aren’t mobile). So I was quite surprised when Passion Republic Games revealed that a character in Gigabash’s roster was a plant monster! PRG got around this classic conundrum by simply… making her a mobile plant. She also covers the “nature’s vengeance” archetype popular in kaiju fiction… sorta. We’ll get to that.

Rohanna is, of course, also the only confirmed female kaiju in the original roster.

Rohanna is an agile, slight stunlock heavy, character with fast attacks, some of the slightly slower ones of which hit hard and/or are ranged. She even has a “teleportation” attack that is a little tricky to aim. She also has three quirky moves too. One has her summon a big thorny branch that knocks an opponent upwards, but she can also use it as a club like some of the infrastructure in some of the stages. Her other two moves each summon a minion for a short duration, one of which is actually her ultimate. These minions are respectively called Piki the Pear and the Royal Warden.

I normally play Pipijuras and another character, but if things get serious and I wanna win I bust Rohanna out.

Design

Rohanna, despite being in a game heavily inspired by Ultraman, wasn’t actually inspired by their handful of plant monsters or even the most famous plant kaiju, Biollante. Instead, Passion Republic Games wanted to make something that represents their home country of Malaysia, and so based her off a Malaysian cryptid called the Sang Kelembai. This is a little ironic considering the creature is described as pretty hideous in legend and Rohanna is a beautiful flower monster, but her left arm (which grew back this way after being burnt away by a certain “dragon king” we’ll cover next) is purposely designed to be monstrous to reference the creature that inspired her. Further inspiration was taken from the Bunga Raya flower and the Malaysian tiger, the patterning of the latter was used for Rohanna’s S-class form. Rohanna has some concept art.

Interestingly, Rohanna’s eyes are actually the green glowing slits on her chest, which is shared with the Royal Wardens. Her flower head merely has eye-like markings, although considering that she turns it to “look” at opponents it’s probably safe to say that it has some photosensing abilities too. The devs also said she can absorb the genome of any plant she comes across and can replicate it.

Lore

Rohanna is another one of the kaiju of Tarabak Island and one of the big three fighting for dominance. Her terf is specifically west of the dam that the fallen civilization of Tarabak built, and is defended by giant thorny vines and patrolled by Royal Wardens.

In the in universe book The Lost World of Tarabak by Petyr Faust, the same one that told us about Skorak, we learn a bit more about the civil war situation going on. I neglected to mention but one of Petyr’s party members, Doug, actually knew the language of the natives and so acted as a translator, and he also wanted to become a member of the Eyes of Skorak. In fact it was the sole reason he came on the expedition, and he ultimately stayed on the island and was enslaved by the followers of the “infamous dragon king”.

We learn from Rohanna’s followers that another reason people rebelled against the dragon was that aristocrats actually leveraged their guardian monster against anyone they didn’t like, which very quickly led to an authoritarian government.

When Skorak ate the dragon from the inside out, some people fled the city and eventually wondered into Rohanna’s territory. Luckily for them, Rohanna actually provided them with food and shelter, and still does to this day. Out of the three kaiju and their factions fighting for control over Tarabak, I’ve got to admit the followers of Rohanna do have it the best of the three. In comparison to the indifference of Skorak and the cruelty of the dragon king, Rohanna actually cares about her worshipers somewhat. However there is a catch; her followers must be unflinchingly loyal to her and support of another kaiju is met with death. This fate almost befell Petyr’s crew when Rohanna saw Doug’s Skorak mask, but they were saved by the Eyes of Skorak throwing stink bombs at her army, which also tells us that Rohanna’s kind have a keen sense of smell. Unusual for a plant.

It’s Rohanna’s intolerance of people not worshipping her and a few other things that make me think she’s not actually a selfless being or even an embodiment of nature’s wrath, and in fact I think the only reason Rohanna was kind to the people fleeing from the collapsing civilization of Tarabak all those years ago was just so she could have worshippers of her own. Rohanna only ever leaves her territory unless another kaiju slights her or other humans take something from her, like her Pikis. There was one time Rohanna attacked Japan at the beginning of Thundatross’s story mode for reasons we don’t know, but since OtamaTEC researches kaiju and Giga Energy they might have actually taken something from her. It seems like Rohanna only ever plays the role of “natures wrath” when it directly benefits her, which I honestly think adds a cool extra layer of pathos to her character.

Passion Republic Games made some art of her and a Piki for Mother’s Day.

It’s really cute and sweet, but it also leads into something I’ve been wondering. Are the Pikis actually her children? Or do they simply see Rohanna as a mother figure? If they are her children, then are the Royal Wardens males? Or maybe a warrior caste like ants? Is Rohanna the queen caste of an eusocial species of plant kaiju?!

Also I don’t really know where to put this tidbit but one of Rohanna’s taunts is a reference to Filthy Frank. Do what that information what you will.

[daikaiju-chaos]

Inktober of '21 and '22! Day 6: Spirit and Bouqet

Featuring a shiny Phantump, which I have also caught, and the flower kaiju, Rohanna, Juran and Biollante (Rose Form).

[valiant010]

Y͓̽e̽s͓̽,͓̽ I͓̽ d͓̽i͓̽d͓̽ g͓̽e͓̽t͓̽ t͓̽h͓̽e͓̽m͓̽.͓̽.͓̽.͓̽

[thatguyfromforest]

Okay, I read this head recently, where the brothers turned into toddlers and Lucifer took care of them

I'm not so good at art, but I couldn't resist

Wanted to share it with those who are interested 😬

This is my MC - Rohanna (only her back, yeah)

[thesongoflorelei]

Rohanna (OC) and Janei Lannister commission for @/ michelle_shaefer_nrw on instagram

[sirmrmustashe]

Rohanna from gigabash

[sophdrafts]

Rohanna’s father, Borath, owned the forge before her. But while Rohanna was still very young, he began to struggle with illness. It became difficult for him to keep up with all of his contracts. So her mother, Roha, began to help him with the more delicate work.

The other blacksmiths tried to ask Borath his secret. But he wouldn’t give it up.

One day, her father was late from an appointment. He was found in an alley with extensive injuries and left for dead. He eventually succumbed to his injuries.

The other blacksmiths began to visit the forge everyday, trying to take advantage of Roha. She said to them, “I will set out some of what he had finished. Come back tomorrow and I will set out more.”

Roha worked deliberately, little by little, late into the night. Rohanna, watching her mother grow weary with work, began to help by taking care of the food, cleaning, and keeping of the shop.

The other blacksmiths kept visiting, hoping to steal Borath’s techniques and his wife. Rohanna, noticing this, expressed her frustration to Roha. “Little one, they think they are in love with me. But no one can ever love me the way your father did.” Her confidence bolstered, Rohanna missed the sad and weary tone in her mother’s voice.

Roha began to work on more delicate things, she noticed that women, as they came to give condolences for the loss of her husband, fawned over the small chains of gold, silver, and steel.

“What’s this for? Women?” The old blacksmiths asked, scornfully assessing her fine chains.

“Women need protection too, from anyone who might be waiting for them late at night.” Roha would reply, bitterness creeping more and more into her conversations with these men.

The blacksmiths visited less and less as each month and year went by, allowing Roha to learn and improve her craft. She began to experiment with smaller weapons and light armor for women to wear as they went about their errands in the marketplace. Simple things that could be worn easily and enable them to protect their families.

As Roha’s ambition grew, so did her clientele. The women who visited Roha were broken, sad, and cynical, looking for a way to feel strong on their own. Roha was determined to provide that way for them. But as she worked to give these women strength, her own was slipping away.

Roha began to focus all her energy on strengthening Rohanna. Rohanna began to take the more difficult jobs, earning the faithful patronage of female warriors and soldiers.

Rohanna kept growing in strength and reputation, and her mother began to fade to the background. One morning, she just slipped away in her sleep. Rohanna knew that her mother never quite healed from the grief of losing Borath, and was glad that she was at peace.

This is why Rohanna refuses to give up her work or the forge. Her father refused to give up when he was sick, her mother refused when she lost her husband, Rohanna would continue that legacy. This is how the story of Rohanna Stronghammer begins.

[versinator]

Keresztfa jelkép

Elvizesedett teherrel menthetetlenül megroppant Felejtsétek ablaküvegek fullánkos megtépik Liszttel könyörüljetek cserepei ropnak Fogantatás izgalma tanulmányt gyümölcseim Múlttal kihozták kóstolni feketekávé Agyába vőlegényjelölt ébenfa böffent Ösvényei könnyeik nyithattok gömbölyűsége Előtérben láthassak vadkörtefa töviseit Gémek aranyláncot mérni folyj Lemosd összemosódott bukásán mosóteknő Döglenünk utamról kalapjával színésznő Szenvedélylyel imádkozzatok zászlóval megkapaszkodhatnék

Ellentálló kérdésekre arcképes miszerint Gulácsy röpülőgép gereblyézni győzelmeink Rohanna felgyülemlő gyilkoltalak tartsátok Szolgavér nekifeszültek velőmet kocsmatölteléktől Taplót összedűl ürességet elhihetően Ereszére rántottam mezőimet sínt Léger kényszeríti elmerülnekülnek éjszakáiba Bozótjában véresszemű gépemtől azonosulhatok Tejfehér krétakör körtefán láncból Eledelünk teljesíteni agyonütötték szövőnő Bajnoké húgaid oldódom táncosnő Lehajtják magasságok gályára lecsorog

[iamthekaijuking]

Gigabash character overview: RAWA

While Passion Republic Games primarily took inspiration from Ultraman when making Gigabash, it would be remiss to make a kaiju setting without its own Godzilla, and indeed no kaiju setting is worth its salt without one. And brother, Passion Republic Games delivered.

The song used is Area 51 S-class, which would become one of my favorite songs ever. Also if you haven’t already listen to the Gigabash soundtrack, it’s great and funky.

My favorite character in the roster and my main. In comparison to Thundatross, Rawa is the lightning bruiser of the roster. His attacks are slow but hard hitting and he has decent combo potential. Rawa has a powerful charge attack, a breath attack that can extend his time in the air, and an “atomic pulse” with superarmor for sticky situations. This attack in particular can be charged, but be careful with this as the charged version sacrifices one of your health bars.

Design

Being the Notzilla and destruction deity of the setting, Rawa takes obvious inspiration from godzilla, but also some Ultraman reference as to be expected of PRG. Ultraman Belial was a surprising source of inspiration. Rawa also reminds me of Natsunomeryu, although this might not be intentional.

The biggest source of inspiration though was the Phaya Naga, a dragon in southeastern Asian mythology and religion. Different countries and cultures have different versions of the Naga ranging from a snake person, to a multi headed cobra, to a more traditional looking eastern dragon. Rawa specifically takes inspiration from the Malaysian and Thai versions, and it’s pretty obvious given his giant horn, golden plating, and large canines. One of Rawa’s skins is named after the country Napal, and I actually have a coworker who grew up there. It was pretty fun talking to him about his country’s version of the Naga in preparation for this overview! I learned that in Napal, Naga are worshiped as god-like figures, and that to disrespect them or even dirty their shrine can bring bad luck and bodily injury such as swelling and rashes.

Just like his inspiration, Rawa is worshipped and treated with reverence. His worshipers even fashioned him gold rings to wear on his canines!

Here’s some concept art.

Rawa also kinda reminds me of the notzillas made by many people on deviantart back in the early 2010’s when people were starved for kaiju content and were making their own.

Lore

As you figured out by now, Rawa is the infamous “dragon king” mentioned in Skorak and Rohanna’s overviews, and so I think it’s time I paint a complete picture of what happened on Tarabak island.

Long ago the natives of Tarabak island lived in fear. They were constantly under threat of kaiju, until one day a great serpentine dragon appeared and defeated every monster with his overwhelming might and burned them away with his ethereal flames (which aren’t actually composed of fire or generate heat, Rawa’s flames are made of Giga Energy and instead of burning things they rip stuff apart on a molecular level). Under his protection they were safe, and were finally able to settle down and create a grand city.

However, Rawa’s protection came at a cost. He demanded to be treated lavishly and have access to Giga Energy 24/7, so his worshippers had to make giant pyramids in his image that channeled Giga Energy and stored it (that’s why the pyramids in one of the Tarabak arenas sometimes make giant Giga Energy orbs). This wasn’t enough though, and so every year the citizens of Tarabak would gather to provide offerings called “Violet Elixirs”. These were a drink made using Giga Crystals, and people had to mine deep within the earth to harvest them. Years of exposure often left people with purple ring marks on their skin (this is the only side effect of contact with Giga Energy on humans that we know of, and it’s unknown if this is actually a medical condition that needs treatment or if this just means people have tie-dye hands). If this elixir was made in poor quality or if Rawa didn’t like it, then he would burn you alive. If he did like it though then you were allowed to take one of the golden scales Rawa shed.

The most ardent of Rawa’s followers didn’t mind that and viewed death as a gift, but others were obviously not jazzed about the prospect of being killed every year because a big garish lizard didn’t like your radioactive grape juice. What was worse is that the aristocrats started weaponizing Rawa against anyone they didn’t like, so any form of protest was flattened underfoot. This reached a breaking point and almost a century after the founding of the civilization of Tarabak, the people who would eventually become the Eyes of Skorak performed their dark ritual that summoned the eggs of the parasitoid slug. They then put the eggs into their Violet Elixirs, fed them to Rawa, and eventually Skorak ate him from the inside out and took his skull as a shell.

Some people decided to follow this new kaiju and became the Eyes of Skorak, while others fled into Rohanna’s territory and came to worship her. But a third group of people stayed. Unflinchingly loyal to the dragon, they gathered his horn, dead body, and as much Violet Elixir as they could and revived Rawa. This and the fact that flesh still clings to his skull and can still generate ethereal flames after all this time on Skorak’s back indicates that in the universe of Gigabash, kaiju can eventually regenerate from mortal wounds and their cells can potentially live independently and indefinitely so long as they have access to Giga Energy.

Rawa’s new revived form isn’t long and serpentine like it used to be and is now stumpy and sorta dinosaurian, and he’s still trying to gain enough power to reach his original form. This technically also makes Rawa a dracolich.

In the in universe book The Lost World of Tarabak, Petyr’s crew comes across the followers of Rawa last before leaving the island. They still roughly maintain their habitats from their fallen civilization, even keeping their legislative system. They wear gold and some of them even spoke English. Doug, being a member of the Eyes of Skorak, became a slave working in the mines digging for Giga Crystals, the rest of Petyr’s crew were free to leave the island on the condition that they spread word of the return of Rawa, which worked out pretty well since Petyr recorded everything that happened in his book. The captain of their ship never left with them though as he stole a gold trinket, and so he was forced to give Rawa a Violet Elixir before being burnt away. The followers of Rawa know that the dragon hates dishonesty.

To wrap this up: I love Rawa. Rawa is my favorite, and I like talking about him. In fact this entire series of overviews was partly an excuse to talk about him. If you ever face me playing as Rawa then you better beg for mercy.

[frankfallon-blog]

2024 reflections

Happy New Year!

 I have observed peoples reflections on social media and have looked back, positively, over the year I have just had. I wanted to be able to review what I have achieved but am mindful of the conflict in Gaza and other people going through difficulties elsewhere in the world. This has made me consider how I share my personal reflections, which will just be on LinkedIn as opposed to other social media platforms. In 2023 I have had a raised awareness of how and when I share things, due to some of the work I have been doing. I also realised I have once again become all too familiar with doom scrolling. There is always a balance and where I got some things spot on in ‘23 there is also a lot I can improve on. The first goal for 2024 is to be less active on social media (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok apps have all been deleted!) and so my achievements in 2023 with Betatwindad.com and the M&M show had come at a cost where I have been much more present on social media and started looking at what others have, sometimes whilst I’m meant to be spending time with my family.

 I digress but ultimately this article will move and jump around. As much as the 12 months of the year are in an order my successes and learnings are not. In work I became the lead on a new project, which was years of work to achieve. During the 5 years at Twining Enterprise I have been learning and reflecting and developing my skills, building up to this achievement. I have stayed true to my own values and principles, mainly motivating and having a view to 'lead from the back'. Empowering and enabling others to lead. Over 2023 I continued my Co-Active coaching with Rohanna Law (being coached) and this has given me the mindset that if I really want to achieve something, I can. I’m proud of getting to this chapter and am extremely grateful. I am also all too aware of my personal life allowing me to navigate this. I have twins but am not the main parent, that’s my fiancé and their mum who was looking after them full-time until recently returning to work part-time. As I have been doing more work and building my networks I have been increasingly more aware of the challenges mums have returning to work. I’m proud that in our recent recruitment we have worked with agencies working with mums returning to work and In 2024 I want to do more with parents. My own personal journey I see how tough it is for mum, but I have been conscious of dads - I really want to do more for dads on paternity leave and give both parents the opportunity of stability in the home.

At the start of the year in my personal life I started a website - betatwindad.com. I wrote blogs about male infertility, premature babies and parenting. The beta was around not wanting to be the alpha male. I wanted to pass on observations rather than telling someone what will work and I was all too aware of how much I didn’t know, that I was never in a position to act like I was the alpha… I didn’t renew the domain after 12 months as I wasn’t spending as much time as I had planned writing or maintaining it. Part of 2023 was trying to navigate the new role, parenting my twins and staying in a positive mindset. As much as the blogging was having a creative hobby and an outlet for passing on my experiences, it was taking its toll. In 2024 I’ll continue to work on that balance but I need to focus on my main work. I plan to build up my mental health networks and become a leader in the sector. I still want to continue blogging but these will more be around articles (much like this). I am proud that in 2023 I wrote and was published in 4 articles - in The People (about the twins), Twins Trust magazine (about my mental health whilst parenting), the Brentford Community Sports Trust research (for a programme I was a participant on) and The Metro (about being a father on the maternity ward).

 In March I was a participant on Comedy For Thought, a Brentford FC Community Sports Trust programme delivered by Dr. Maria Zofia Kempinska MBE. I did standup to a room of 40-50 people, as a showcase, after having 6 sessions learning the skills. At the time I didn’t know I needed it but on that first session I completely opened up about my infertility and the challenges navigating 29 week premature twins. Working in mental health I have an understanding of how challenging it can be to talk about any conditions you may have. The old cliche of men not talking is more often than not down to men not having a safe space to do so, or indeed something that fits in with where they would like to share. I had confided in a couple of friends and family, finding it easier to tell some than others, but for others it was never ‘the right time’ or I was worried about their reaction. It’s 2023 but people still struggle to talk to people, or know how to respond when someone shares their issues. Learning comedy was so great. I could deliver a punchline and get feedback on the delivery, rather than the content. I went and did a couple more shows but realised quite quickly just how hard comedy is and how much time comedians spend honing their style and their content. Again I realised that I didn’t have the capacity to do this. I was happy standing up in front of audiences and sharing my life, with some laughs, but not what it would take to be really funny. In 2024 I want to do public facing talks but again may do this more on mental health and less about comedy, but using the learning from standup to deliver to an audience. Through that one showcase show, which I shared on a fertility for me Facebook page, I met someone that took me on a different path.

Kevin Button aka theman_cave got in touch with me and invited me on his instalive. Since then other audiences I have held have been on InstaLive. We connected and after that he invited me to do the M&M show. A chat show for men, by men, talking about male infertility, mens mental health and topics to help more men being open to talking. I loved talking to Kev, Gareth and other guests (some big names in the fertility sector) about this topic. I’ve always found talking so empowering and therapeutic. The blogging, the comedy, the work I do for Twining and the instalives have given me the opportunity to process the last couple of years. The talking in the instalives is ultimately to give others some support and help, a place they can go and meet others facing similar challenges but in doing so I talked about my feelings, my mental health, my lows. Looking back over all the years I found myself seeking help and becoming a helper and this was just that. Again though, I’m grateful to Kev for listening. For not reacting. For thanking me. This was a stepping stone I needed and I wanted to talk on different spaces. In 2024 I’ll continue to do the instalives but ensuring I’m not impacting on my day job or running myself too thin.

In 2023 I went from doing these lives to speaking on 3 podcasts and in 2024 I really want to do more. My life I have been outward, an extrovert and in negative discussions I have been called egotistical. Since being with my fiancé I have worked on managing how often I talk first, how often I am in the middle and how often I bring the conversation back to me. In work I try to focus on listening and coaching (something I continually need to work on) but I have always searched for/had an ambition for a certain 'fame'. It’s always a balance and any social setting I’m aware of my voice and my stories but these podcasts were a freeze frame of my situation, my life and gave me an opportunity to always have something in the airwaves. A memory bank. In 2023 I also understood that although it’s me talking and is my part in it, my fiancé was very much part of that process and she is not as keen as I am to be the centre of attention. So in 2024 I want to go on more podcasts and shows but not about our fertility journey and our twin boys. It needs to be about my mental health and my well-being and my own learnings, so more around work and the sector I’m in. I’m extremely grateful to firing blanks, The Collaboration Twins, testhim and The Fertility Podcast for having me on their podcasts and listening. Something I’ll forever be proud of.

2023 was a positive one for me. It was one that I survived in large chunks and thrived in chunks. Not without a lot of support, a lot of selfishness/boundaries from time to time. I’m also aware that in amongst the highs and best bits, there were lows, when I didn’t take enough time off to recharge, when I gave too much energy to too many things all at once. It is a constant battle to get the balance right, I didn’t run as much as I would have liked but I did the Ealing half marathon. Trying to squeeze in a run between sorting the boys their breakfast before work, or taking over after work until bedtime, before cooking became too much and so I only ran 288 miles in 2023. Sometimes maybe I would have benefited from more running. I started reading properly again once the boys started sleeping through the night more. This has helped me to get to sleep and meant I have now come very close to finishing the Rebus books that I started in lockdown. I still drink nighttime tea but potentially too much coffee. I lost weight for six months but in December put all of it back on again. I managed my well-being as best I could but still in November came very close to having a breakdown. One tougher than usual week at work, one too many conversations about communication and I found myself unable to go to a social situation I had planned. I couldn’t even take the tube properly and kept on going back and fourth between stops and going to the wrong station. I have since spoken to friends who said they were always around if I needed to reach out and in 2024 I need to do more to reach out when I need it. That’s partly why I have a Coach. A rain check. A de-stress. 

Those low moments were minimal but in 2024 I need to work out how to balance better. I want to lose weight but for my longevity and health, in the hope that I won’t get stressed as easily and my boundaries can be stretched. It’ll be a big year if I manage myself well. Working in the sector I know only too well the benefits on having a well-being locker, tools that we can use to stay well but it only works if we are using it proactively and not reactively. Stretching is important but only within a healthy boundary.

Here’s to a healthy, stretchy 2024.

[engin-program]

Meet Rohanna White, an ENGin Ambassador and passionate volunteer who's positively impacting young lives in Ukraine.

In her recent presentation at the Fuquay-Varina Woman's Club, Rohanna shared ENGin's mission, goals, and how everyone can get involved. Rohanna's journey with ENGin goes beyond the presentation podium!

Rohanna's first student, Daria, dreamed of studying in the United States. With Rohanna's support, the dream became a reality.

Read Rohanna's and her buddy Daria's story here.

[thatguyfromforest]

Okay, I read this head recently, where the brothers turned into toddlers and Lucifer took care of them

I'm not so good at art, but I couldn't resist

Wanted to share it with those who are interested 😬

This is my MC - Rohanna (only her back, yeah)

[neshsizzie]

Congratulations! Ate Rohanna for reaching 10k followers 💐

[vishaluttam]

Vishal Uttam - An Avid Learner

Vishal Uttam has had a long and successful career as an entrepreneur and investor in tech-forward companies. He is a Los Angeles-based angel investor and CEO at CCIX Global. The techpreneur is currently working at Rohanna LLC, where he sharpened his skills as an entrepreneur, investor, expanding his knowledge in the private equity industry.

[ueresuveg]

Szokták mondani, hogy a családjáról senki nem tehet. És tényleg nem. Én sem. De hogy miért kell minden karácsonykor ugyanazt eljátszani, azt nem tudom. Sosem fogom megtudni. Ezért gondoltam egy merészet, és arra használtam fel Abigélt, amire minden normális szülő a gyermekét. Kifogásra (életem legszebb karácsony másnapját ajándékozva saját magamnak, kettesben Babival)! Tudni kell, hogy nálunk minden karácsonynak megvan a maga idilli koreográfiája. Mínusz egyedik nap (igen, ilyen van) sógornő családjával. Szenteste egy magányos rokonnal (természetesen ittalvósan), első napon életbevágóan fontos süti és néha magányos rokon csere a szomszéddal, utána saját vagy a szomszéd-magányosrokon kidobása, utolsó nap az én csodás családommal fergeteg parti. Azt is tudni kell, hogy mi a bátyámmal gyerekkorunkban is nagyon szerettük egymást (ez komoly!), csak nem a megszokott módon mutattuk ezt ki egymásnak. Én hergeltem őt, ő vert engem. Így osztoztunk az intelligencián és a fizikai erőn, apám szerint. De mióta nem élünk együtt, az eddig csak bimbózó kapcsolatunk kivirágzott. Sőt! A távolság nagyságával, és a külön töltött idővel a virágzás intenzitása exponenciálisan nő! Hogy ez így maradjon csak az kell, hogy a kelleténél többet ne keressük egymást. Ezt pszichológus helyett egymással beszéltük meg, és ez olyan örömmel töltött el minket, hogy ezek után már nem is olyan nehéz hatékonyan ehhez tartani magunkat akár még karácsony szent napjain sem. Dehát a karácsony! Az olyan! Akkor a családot nem lehet kihagyni! De. Legalábbis ha van egy 15 hónapos frissen oltott, bocsánat oltakozott - azt hiszem most ez a trendi - Abibabid. Szóval utoljára kifogásként bedobtam a legutóbbi oltás mellékhatását. Hogy miért? Valamiért egy meghitt családi ünnepet nem úgy képzelek el, hogy az üvöltő zenét terepakadályoktól függetlenül félkilométeres sugarú körben is hallani lehet, miközben pár felnőtt enyhén vagy extrém ittas állapotban próbál egy 20 négyzetméteres nappalit telebagózni egymást disznó viccekkel és alpári munkahelyi történetekkel túlüvöltve, miközben a gyerekek saját tudtukon kívül az életükért küzdenek. Felfoghatnám ezt egy időutazásnak is a gyerekkoromban, de gyanítom hogy Brown professzor sem rohanna hozzám egyből a nagy titok után érdeklődve, mégis ez hogy sikerül fluxus kondenzátor nélkül? Nem úgy egy csapat perverz etnográfus, akik biztos keresnék a rejtett ősi kulturális jeleket. Persze nem ilyen rossz a helyzet, de azért reméltem, hogy nem fog feltűnni a hiányom. Sőt, még abban is reménykedtem, hogy az ajándékot is megúszom. Mármint az ajándékkapás részét. Ugyanis nagyon unalmas már, hogy minden évben valamilyen teljesen fölösleges használhatatlan használati eszközt kapok a saját arcképemmel. Igen, egy képet magamról valamire rányomtatva. Ha nem muszáj, akkor tükörbe sem nagyon nézek, de így legalább mindenhol magamat láthatom - vagyis láthatnám, ha használnám ezeket a dolgokat. Az első ilyen bögrét egyből kidobtam a kukába. Mikor sógornőm kérdezte, hogy használom, mondtam hogy véletlenül eltört. Egy hét múlva kaptam egy tök ugyanolyat. Kérdeztem, hogy minek? Nem is értette - gyakran járok így az emberekkel sajnos. Azóta kaptam még több bögrét, párnát, pólót, karácsonyfadíszt, világító kulcstartó-holdat (igen, ilyen van) mind az én fizimiskámmal ellátva. Minek? És ezeket mindig elő kell kotorni - amitől a hányinger kerülget -, ha jönnek látogatni, különben jön a kérdés, használod a tököm tudja mit? Bátyám meg - aki mindenkinél jobban ismer - azóta szeret hozzánk jönni, mert látja, hogy a verésnél is van jobb kínzás. De kemény voltam, megmondtam, nem kell több hülye fényképes ajándék. Erre küldtek idén felragasztható fa betűket (anya apa & Abigél) én meg inkább ezt raktam ki belőle:

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"2 milliót akartak volna tőlem kapni azért, mert azt állítottam, hogy a kínai és az orosz anyagok engedélyezésénél a hatóságok akkora szakmai hibákat vétettek, mint ha a 7-es busz vezetője százhússzal rohanna és minden piros lámpán keresztülhajtana végig a Rákóczi úton."

Aki beszélni akar Hadházy Ákossal, az negyedikéig a Kunigunda utcai Propaganda és Agymosó Kombinát előtt megtalálja őt