#rust imp

[shaleimpdaily]

day 42!

[miikpal]

forgot to post this here. meeeeeeee warm up

[cosmica-galaxy]

I feel that this guy would go full on yandere if you allowed him to. Just gives me those "easily becomes obsessed/possessive" vibes. He's a cool character, though. -- I am so out of practice aauuughh

[glitterrosesnzz]

w/anderer standing in the rain using his hat to shield a cat...

it would be sooo funny for him to get sick from this-

[maximumzombiecreator]

Since I've had a few people asking about megadungeon stuff recently, and I am an avowed megadungeon megafan, I thought it might be fun to walk through an actual example of megadungeon play that exemplifies what I like best about it.

This post is going to be the first in a series talking about a room from a megadungeon that I ran over 20 years ago (brushing past that fact quickly lest the horrors set in.) It was a major room, probably the most complex and important in the dungeon, and the players passed through it frequently throughout the campaign. In this post I'll introduce you to the room, and then in later posts I'll talk about what it does well and how to use that lesson more generally. Below the cut is a reproduction of the map as I remember it.

Without getting into The Lore too deeply, some dwarves accidentally dug into hell, as one does. Classic trope, nothing wrong with using them. They quite sensibly shut the mine down and sealed if off, but word got out. A human king heard about this, and took over the mine, expanding it into a temple complex to curry favour / barter with hell. It went badly, as such things do.

This concourse connects several wings of the dungeon, spanning several floors. An enormous devil face statue emerges from the northern wall, above the second floor balcony and below the fourth, and a column of light shines through a hole in the ceiling onto the center of the floor. Several floors of balconies overlook the chamber, though the stairs to the fourth floor balcony have long since collapsed.

This chamber was not too far from the main entrance, with the party first encountering it on their second delve into the dungeon, though it would take two more delves for them to gather the courage to enter it. At the time they first encountered it, it was swarming with imps and other little devils worshipping the big face.

I'll summarize the key:

A. Hallway from the Entry Chambers, the first and easiest section of the dungeon.

B. Doorway to the Pilgrim's City.

C. Doorway to the Unholiest of Unholies. Sealed and warded against simple spells.

D. Doorway to the Old Dwarven Quarters.

E. Doorway to the Nobles' Section. Barred from the far side.

F. Portcullis to the Pilgrim's City. The mechanism has rusted out and no longer functions.

G. Doorway to the Halls of the Clergy.

H. Doorway from the King's Inner Sanctum.

I. Doorway to the Archive.

J. Doorway to the King's Inner Sanctum, locked.

K. Doorway to The Indulgences.

Stairway from floor 1 to floor 2.

Light from the hole in the ceiling.

Broken stairs from floor 2 to floor 4.

Big ole devil face. Its eyes are a one-way illusion, allowing anyone within the face to view the room below.

Okay that's a lot, thanks for sticking it out. While I don't want to wander too far off topic into the rest of the dungeon, I'll just briefly note that the Pilgrim's City and Old Dwarven Quarters are easier sections of the dungeon, the Nobles Section and Halls of the Clergy are slightly more difficult, the King's Inner Sanctum, Archive, and Indulgences are very dangerous, and the Unholiest of Unholies is, as one might expect, where the worst things (and best loot) in the dungeon are. This was 2nd edition AD&D, so there was not a presumption of fights being balanced, and traipsing through more dangerous sections of the dungeon at lower levels wasn't uncommon. The players also understood the varying levels of danger fairly implicitly, since the custom at the time was that any time you went a level further away from whatever the ground floor was, things got more dangerous. The only exception to this is the Unholiest of Unholies and I think we can agree that when it's beyond a magically sealed door under a giant devil head the danger is telegraphed.

Next post I'll start talking about what made this room work so well in practice.

[gramdraw]

Imped my Tarnished to de-rust

[homestuckreplay]

Land of Heat, Clockwork and the Worst Puppet Imaginable

(page 1641-1644; ‘[S] Dave: Accelerate.’)

GC: 4R3 YOU R34DY TO FUCK UP TH3 T1M3L1N3??? (p.1580)

Well, mission accomplished, gallowsCalibrator. I think we can consider this timeline officially Fucked Up.

This update, where we skip forward to Dave’s fifth gate without seeing any of his in between steps, was intentionally released on April Fools’, but it’s not a joke update or something that’ll get retconned out of universe. I think it’s an effective way to introduce Dave’s land, grist types and enemies (Amber Imp, Rust Imp, Sulfur Ogre, Ruby Giclops) all at once, which are all questions people want answers to, but not exciting enough to be Big Reveals. But more than that, I LOVE the implication that Dave, Knight of Time, can not only time travel but can accelerate and rewind the narrative itself, displacing himself from a chronological story structure. Can he be trusted with this power? Probably not.

The Land of Heat and Clockwork is SICK AS HELL. I mean obviously, because all the kids’ lands have incredible designs. It’s interesting to me that while Rose’s land is visually the opposite of the aesthetics and interests she’s expressed, Dave’s matches his aesthetic, with a red palette like his shirt and a lot of gears and technology that feel like a more steampunk version of the wires and gadgets he has scattered around his room. It also perfectly matches the gear-shaped planet with a red center from WV’s drawings (p.703), leaving the volcano planet for Jade.

‘Clockwork’ in Dave’s land is to ‘time’, his domain, just as ‘wind’ is to ‘breath’ for John. It also looks like there’s a tiny record in his sword and a set of turntables he’s using to time travel, keeping time by keeping the beat. @sincerelywasserious noted that the track in this animation, ‘Atomyk Ebonpyre’ by Toby Fox, is in 6/8 time – slightly more complex than a standard 4/4. To me, this indicates that Dave is getting more proficient with his time powers and able to master a more complex beat. I'd love to see the time signatures for his tracks get even weirder when he eventually levels up further.

It makes sense for Dave’s quest to relate to his instrument, just as Rose’s involves playing the violin strings of the waterfalls (p.1626) and John’s denizen’s palace looks like an organ (p.1605 - @tenaciouschronicler originally made this link!) Their quests also link to what I’ve been calling their title cards; John’s on page 82 and Rose’s on page 307, which are the first pages for each character that delve into their mental state and hint at elemental associations. As a sidenote, Jade never got one of these pages, meaning we have NO hints to her planet or quest besides her eclectic bass’ abilities to manipulate plant life, and the likelihood that her element is earth.

‘You don't even know what's up with this sick heat. The sun threatens to set but won't step off. It's staring you down, like the big red eye of a hot needle skipping on a groove its tracing 'round the earth. While lingering in midair its heat seems to suspend time itself, stretching it like warped vinyl.’ (p.444)

Here’s Dave’s title card. My guess is that Dave’s denizen has somehow suspended his planet in time, its inhabitants no longer aging, its weather and seasons unchanging, its gears no longer turning, stuck in eternal 110 degree midday heat. (hell!!) It’ll be his job to both cool the planet down and get its timeline back on track in a way that doesn’t mess with the overall timeline of the kids’ Sburb game. I can’t help but wonder if some creatures like the Felt might be his planet’s inhabitants, or perhaps even Lord English his denizen – these guys surely have some link to Sburb, and definitely have links to time, so perhaps they always appear for the player with the Time domain.

So far, there have been six [S] pages that are also commands addressed to Dave. One is his title card (p.444), one is him preparing for a fight (p.665), and the final four are Dave directly in combat (p.836, 871, 1070, 1641). Dave’s big moments are overwhelmingly focused on violence, which isn’t true of the other kids, but does reflect the toxically masculine, constantly on edge and ready for attack way that he’s been raised. My hope is that Dave’s quest will be something he can’t solve through violence – and that Rose’s quest is something she has to be open and vulnerable to solve, and that John’s quest is one he has to be decisive and independent to solve.

Dave’s also got a cool new look – a suit and computer glasses to match John’s. Maybe a tribute to his best friend, but there’s also something here about how putting on a suit (or maybe changing outfits in general?) indicates a transitional moment for these characters, or a deeper understanding of themselves.

Calsprite is BAD. He is so much worse than regular Cal who was already extremely bad. His beam of puppets and his turning into a smuppet with his ‘bulbous bottom being like kind of jutting out and impudent’ (p.522)? REALLY BAD. Dave is right, this is true evidence of the darkest timeline. And I’m certain he could talk if he wanted to, but Dave has prototyped with a malicious entity that has no interest in helping him, so he’s just an asshole. Dave might not even know his quest if Cal won’t tell him. And Dave has suffered this for FOUR MONTHS!! I am guessing he can only rewind time within the Incipisphere otherwise he could travel back to when Bro first got Cal and unmake that entire doll.

The Dave and Rose pesterlog (p.1643) is pretty rough to read. They still feel like themselves, but there’s no jokes or affectionate ribbing between friends. They’re just tired, sad and only talking strategy. And both of their perspectives make total sense. Dave is a lonely and neglected extrovert who loves his friends more than life itself. He’s had to cope with two of them dying, and he has time travel powers that make him capable of going back and seeing them again and changing things for the better, so of course he wants to do that. Rose has always been interested in understanding Sburb so she wants to give the kids the best chance of survival when they do rewind time, and as she wouldn’t personally be the one going back, she’s scared about what will happen to her when she’s left alone in this timeline. Even though she’s having a bad time, she wants to hold onto the one friend she has left, and the last pieces of certainty.

My heart honestly breaks for both of them. I can’t imagine the pain they’ve been through over the last four months. Even after their planet was destroyed and it seemed like they had nothing left to lose, they lost even more, and they still had to keep going, keep working, keep fighting. All they’ve had for company is each other, a cat, and a horrible puppet. And for this version of Rose, it might all be for nothing, as she might stop existing when Dave rewinds.

Dave theorizes that ‘dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum’ (p.1643) which is a theory, but probably a much more informed one than any of the ‘main timeline’ kids have. This pesterlog suggests that in this future timeline, Dave woke up on Derse by realizing he was ‘already awake’, and went to help Rose wake up as she’d been struggling for a while. Since then, they’ve been exploring Derse together in person. This is a clear message to us as readers: if, in the ‘main timeline’, Rose is able to wake up quickly and go help Dave, this means her ‘alternate timeline’ self was able to persist via her dream self. If she still struggles and Dave wakes first, that version of her is trapped or has ceased to exist, like she fears.

Finally, there’s a newspost from Hussie which is pretty exhausting to read due to its many layers of Dave-style irony. The main takeaway is that Homestuck will not end on 4/13, but there will likely be a big Flash animation on that date, possibly with additional Flash pages between now and then.

[alastor-ask]

(It was a Fine morning when Alastor went to Cannibal town… the Birds were chirping, The Waitress had Made Alastor a Fresh cup of Coffee, and to top it off there wasn’t as much gunfire and Violence in the background. All in all it was a peaceful morning in Hell. Until…

-CRASH!-

Alastor heard a Loud crash from the front of the Cafe! He popped his head out and Saw a Cannibal wearing a bloodied Tank top, Suspenders, and was waddling around with a small cane. He was followed by a muscular man who wore a Bloodied and Muddied sleeveless Jean jacket and Bloodied Jeans and boots, he also had slicked back hair and they both spoke with a Thick southern accent. They were both arguing with each other)

“DAMNIT PAW, THIS IS WHY I DON’T LET YOU DRIVE NO MORE!”

“IT WASN’ MY FAULT THAT DUMB -FUCK JUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!”

(Alastor looked more and saw a Rusted pick up truck crashed through the front door, and in the grill of the truck was a small Imp who was very much dead and mangled in it. The old man and muscular man continued to argue very loudly, calling each other horrible insults and threats)

Just when I thought my morning couldn't get anymore interesting, then these two show up killing people and crashing their junk into buildings." He then walks over looking to the two men." Excuse me gentleman, I couldn't help but notice that your vehicle is in the wrong spot."

[toranoya]

Hungry plants!

@remnantsouls

Krix zipped down the cracked sidewalk of Hell's gritty suburban sprawl, his board rattling against the uneven terrain. The skater Imp’s jagged smile stretched wide beneath his mop of ebony hair, tail swishing with excitement. He was on a mission: to find the smoothest, untouched grind rail in this part of the underworld.

But Krix had a habit of ignoring “No Trespassing” signs.

He skidded to a halt at the edge of a yard surrounded by a crooked iron fence. Inside stood a half-broken birdbath, a rusted-out lawnmower, and—most importantly—a perfectly curved rail leading down a garden staircase. His sharp teeth glinted as he grinned.

"Score," he muttered, vaulting over the fence with his board tucked under one arm.

The yard had an eerie vibe, but Krix wasn’t the type to be scared of dead grass or twisted shadows. He set his board down at the top of the stairs, rolling it back and forth with his foot to test the incline.

But just as he bent his knees to launch into a trick, something clamped around his ankle.

“What the—?!”

A gnarled root, thick and pulsing like a vein, had burst from the dirt and coiled around his leg. He stumbled, falling backward onto the overgrown lawn. His tail thrashed as he tried to pull free, but the root only tightened, dragging him closer to the garden’s center…

[irkimatsu]

Oh here’s a neat one! In the show’s pitch bible there was an episode where Charlie and Angel take Husk to the carnival to teach him how to have fun. Apparently he’s never had fun. What if his lover took Husk out to the fair or amusement park and Husk learned to loosen up. He doesn’t have to be guarded and miserable drowning himself in mistakes. Let Husk have fun and let loose.

Ooh, where did you find this? I'd love to see the pitch bible for the show!

It's an interesting way to put things, though - "Husk has never had fun"... man grew up as a gambling addict in Vegas, I'm sure he's had fun. That fun was terrible for his bank account and his liver, but... well, maybe the point is to show him fun that doesn't involve substance use or strippers. I feel like that sort of fun is hard to come by in Hell.

There's still gambling involved, though. Can you imagine Husk at the game stalls? He knows every scam in the book, and he knows how to beat them. If you want that giant useless plush toy, then baby he is going to win you that toy and be smug as fuck about it the whole time. The guy running the ball-and-cup stall will be unable to scrape his jaw off the floor as Husk grabs the prize you wanted, coated in dust from years of being unwon, and hands it over to you with a kiss. "Told ya I could beat him, baby."

(Now get him the fuck away from the game stalls before he gets stuck at a prize wheel or something. The point of today is to show him fun that doesn't feed his addictions.)

I wonder how Husk feels about thrill rides? I can't imagine him being afraid of heights; he flies okay, the only reason he doesn't do it more often is because it's effort, not because he dislikes heights. You know, thinking about it, I think he'd like the adrenaline rush of a good roller coaster. Let him at it! (As long as it's a decently maintained roller coaster. He's not getting anywhere near a rusted monstrosity that looks ready and willing to kill the next poor fuck who gets on it. Fuck that, not doing it.)

I would also like to remind everyone of the cheesy stage shows that amusement parks usually have. Including cheesy magic shows. Get this man into a magic show! Get him some popcorn and soda! Let him feel like a little kid again! Pupils wide and firmly fixed on the stage, tail sticking up in interested, wings flared out... he's so entranced by it that he forgets to be embarrassed in about it in the moment. Not a word Angel. You too Charlie, I know you mean well but stop bringing attention to it

What if you got called up as a special assistant. What if he got called up as a special assistant. Oh god that's so cute. To see him on that stage again for the first time in decades, with just as much heart in it as he had when he was a young, living man... Husk would shove an imp child out of the way to be chosen to be on that stage damn it

And then when night falls, and they start the nightly light show... sitting somewhere with him far away from the crowd, it may not be the best view but it's worth the privacy... leaning into his shoulder as he wraps a wing around you.

"...I had fun today," he admits quietly.

You can't help but laugh. "And you told us you didn't want to come along."

Thankfully, he's able to laugh along. "Well, thanks for twisting my arm about it, doll."

A gentle kiss beneath the light show, tails entwining if you have one... <3

[ask-daddy-hoothoot]

There was something far too casual about the way Andrealphus arrived—no entourage, no fanfare. Just the sharp click of polished heels and the scent of frost trailing behind him like expensive perfume. The slums didn’t suit him, and he made no effort to hide the disdain curling in his lip as he took in the crumbling brick and rusted pipes.

He didn’t knock. He never did.

“Oh dear,” he drawled as he stepped inside uninvited, his tone dipped in syrup and venom. “Stolas, is that… mildew?” A mock gasp. “I must say, I almost didn’t recognize you without the velvet and the sixteen layers of inherited dignity.”

His eyes flicked around the space, lingering a little too long on the threadbare couch, the cracked tiles, the faint sound of something scuttling in the walls. And then—just the faintest twitch of a grin.

“I would’ve brought a housewarming gift, but I wasn’t sure what pairs best with squalor. Perhaps a mop? Or a crowbar? You know, to pry yourself off whatever this is and remember what you used to be.”

He leaned elegantly against the doorframe now, arms crossed, smile sharp.

“But do tell me—how is the imp? Still playing house with royalty, or have you officially downgraded to court jester?” @marquis-andrealphus

Stolas was only just awake from his midday sleep. He still stunk of the cheap beer Blitzø had bought from the store (or rather, stolen) and hopelessness.

Events of the trial and the memory of what had happened the last time he was at Andrealphus’ palace were rushing through his mind. Seeing the smug ice queen standing in front of the door of his new…home reminded him of it. Of how he had lost his title, his powers, his palace, his daughter. All for whatever this was now.

And he was not happy.

Andrealphus.

He stands up from the tattered couch, glaring at the marquis with a tired face.

Why exactly have you come here? Was the first beating I handed out not enough for you? -💫

[helluvascribe]

Rolando Infests Loona

Blitzo, Millie and Rolando panted for breath by the One Star Wonder Hotel pool.

“Like getting’ beatin’ up, buttercup?” Millie spat at Rolando. “Maybe you’ll think twice before messin’ with my friend!”

The imps grinned and stepped forward, backing the infestor demon into a corner. Blitzo held up his ghostfucker device.

“Prepare to get sucked into nothingness, bitch!”

Rolando glanced around as Blitzo took the vacuum and aimed. He then froze and reached into his pocket.

“How about no!”

Rolando pulled out an indigo crystal and rubbed it. A portal appeared in the middle between him and the imps. Before Blitzo could blink, Rolando had already vanished through it.

“Quick!” called Millie. She and Blitzo followed Rolando through the portal before it closed.

0 0 0

They were back at I.M.P. Headquarters. Rolando had morphed into a shadow form and was hiding in a dark corner of the ceiling.

“Fuck, where’d he go?!” Blitzo called. “And how’d he know our location?”

“He can read our thoughts,” Millie answered with worry. “He must’ve used his own crystal to travel to Earth!”

“Well, we gotta take him out before he attacks anyone else!” Blitzo urged.

The imps nodded and raced off in different directions.

Rolando slithered through the door cracks, peering into the room with glowing yellow eyes. He licked his lips when he spotted a stressed Moxxie below, trying to figure out financial formulas.

‘A weak little thing,’ Rolando mused to himself. ‘Such easy prey.’

He snaked lower, hovering over Moxxie, long shadowy fingers extended.

Loona then came into the room. “You doing alright, Moxxie?”

Moxxie pounded the desk in frustration. “I just can’t seem to get these numbers right!”

“Don’t forget to carry the two here,” Loona mentioned.

She then froze and slowly looked up. She couldn’t see anything, but she sniffed the air.

“What’s wrong?” Moxxie asked.

“I sense something evil here,” Loona growled. “Where’s Blitz and Millie?”

“Still on Earth, I think,” Moxxie answered.

Loona twitched her ears, hearing Blitzo call her name from the hall. “No, I think they’re still here!”

‘Outnumbered four to one,’ Rolando thought, pondering his future fight against the crew. ‘Perhaps I’d better even the odds a bit…’

Rolando could sense Blitzo and Millie walking toward the room from the hall.

“I think they’re this way,” Blitzo told Millie. “He’s gonna get ghostfucked in no time!”

Rolando peered over Loona and smirked.

“Blitz! Millie!” Loona called. “I think I found…”

Loona let out a dog’s whine as Rolando charged into her head from behind her. The Hellhound collapsed instantly.

“Loona!” Moxxie gasped as he turned around.

0 0 0

Loona gasped and woke with a start as she found herself bound to a seat with rusted chains. She strained against her bonds, but even her Hellhound strength wasn’t enough. Old movie theater chairs sat covered with mold, coral and seaweed. Green-tinted curtains opened to show a movie screen.

“What the hell’s going on?!”

Loona flinched as Rolando flowed out of her chest in an oceanic bubble. He pinched her cheeks roughly and moved away before Loona could bite his fingers. She stared at him, her eyes wide with shock and fear.

“Soooo,” Rolando mused in a distorted voice. “You’re Blitzo’s little pet!”

“I’m not his pet…I’m…”

Loona paused.

“His daughter?” Rolando scoffed. “Come on, we both know that’s a lie. You’re more a broody burden than anything else.”

“Shut up!”

“And with a temper like that, I’m surprised he didn’t leave you back at the pound. Here’s a pet name for ya: ‘Lunatic Loona.’”

Loona seethed as Rolando laughed. He moved behind her and lounged on his seat, legs on top, popcorn in his hands.

“It’s no wonder you’re not worthy enough to go on your little murder missions with the rest of your crew. The only thing you’re good for…is furry sex appeal!”

Loona barked at him and Rolando kicked her in the face in response.

“Be a good little bitch and enjoy the show!” he smirked as “3…2…1…” spun on the screen.

“W-what show?”

Loona’s eyes widened in horror as her worst memories appeared on screen.

0 0 0

Loona saw herself as a puppy living on the streets with her mother and five competitive siblings. Her father had left her mother a while ago to find other Hellhound ladies to mate with.

Loona and her siblings always scrambled for food, especially after the extermination of Sinners. She’d tear at demon flesh and shove her brothers and sisters aside to try and get the most meat. More often than not, she was left with scraps.

“Weakling!” howled one of her siblings.

“Pussy!” taunted another.

Swear words were soon Loona’s first words. Her mother was burdened by the stress of trying to survive, not available much for snuggling or assurance.

After Loona and her siblings had learned to walk, they were pretty much on their own. Her siblings left her without a trace.

Loona, lost and alone in the cold, was soon picked up by an elderly lady and tossed in her cell at the adoption center, where she would live for 17 years. She had it lucky…her mother had been assaulted and killed, one of her sisters had been sent to live as a slave, and her other siblings had perished from drugs and their own fights.

Wake up at 5 AM, stand at attention for the warden…eat gruel, learn obedience, sit in the cell, sleep, repeat. A sign read: “Sit, Stay, Serve - Great Behavior = A Future Great Family!”

Loona in her early teens contracted syphilis after she had gotten too close with other inmates. It wasn’t long before she was put into solitary for much of the time.

“Why anyone would want to adopt an angry bitch like you is beyond me,” chided the warden lady. “You may be fierce and strong, but you’ll never last long without following your master’s orders.”

Loona counted the days by scratching her prison wall…soon her wall was covered with tally marks.

Loona’s temper got even worse when a few hounds had smuggled in meth. The drug was Loona’s escape from her harsh confinement…and when she experienced withdrawal, things got ugly.

“It’s like you want to be homeless,” growled the lady. “Or put down! Is that what you want?”

“No…”

The warden slapped her in the face and put a bowl of glop into her cell. “Then behave!”

Loona was soon 17. One more month, she would be 18…and kicked out into the streets to die.

Or worse…injected with a fatal needle.

Blitzo soon arrived at the adoption center. The center was a dimly lit place, a combination of a prison and a pound. It was dank and dimly lit, with the hellhounds locked in kennel-like cells.

Five hellhound bipedal dogs stared at Blitzo with wide red eyes. There was a small tan colored dog wearing a tattered green dress, a lanky hound with a white dress and thick black hair, a black and white hellhound, and another dog who wore a blue patched up shirt. The Uggie-like hound in the middle wore a ripped up blue shirt and wore a can on his head. On the cell floor were pizza boxes, bones, and a single book on a shelf. A urinal was in the background and there were messy bunk beds behind them.

Blitzo had his hands on the bars of the kennel cell.

“Aww, they’re all so cute. And they’re…sad.”

A large old adoption center lady stood beside him, with a gray wrinkled face and a deadpan expression. She had a gray dog face, thin white glasses, white hair, and a white pearl necklace over her dark clothing.

The lady stood under a worn red “Hellhound Adoption” sign with a pawprint on it. Teal fluorescent lights hummed above each of the cells, several of them shattered. The floor was wet with water.

“Maybe you could adopt this one here,” said the lady, pointing to an adjacent cell. “Quite a strong lad, he’ll be perfect for whatever work you want to use him for.”

Blitzo grinned and peered into the cell. Inside the cell was a hunched, wrinkled, ugly hound with red eyes, a thick face, and sharp claws. A scratched up green chair and a static old-fashioned TV were behind him. A few of his teeth were broken.

Blitzo flinched back.

“Ugh! No, I’m not looking for no ugly wonker, heh. I need something that’s more family-friendly.”

“A gift for the wife, huh?” the lady deadpanned. “No problem.”

Blitzo followed her several cells down.

“We have a nice selection of other hounds,” the hound lady droned.

Blitzo stopped at another cell.

“Who’s that?” Blitzo pointed.

The lady stopped and looked in.

Sitting on a wooden bench was a teenage Hellhound with a cell phone in her hands. She had a thick mane of white hair, narrow red eyes, and a thick black tail. She wore a red shirt with a skull on it and torn black pants. Above her was a torn-up sign that read “Hang in there.” Scratch marks all over the wall counted the number of days spent in the cell. A couple of books were under the bench and a pillow was in a corner.

“Oh, her? That’s just Loona,” said the lady in the same monotone voice. “What a nightmare.”

Near the bunkbeds were drawings of Loona and a thunder cloud, a drawing of flowers and another drawing of Loona stomping through a city. A young hellhound kid smirked mischievously at Loona. He wore a blue baseball cap, a torn white and red shirt, and blue pants. He held a bloodstained bat with nails stuck on the end of it. The boy pointed at Loona and jabbed her with his club. With a fierce growl, Loona slammed the boy against the cell bars, where he fell with a thud. Loona growled again, then curled up.

“Serious attitude problems,” the lady deadpanned. “She’ll be out of our hair next month when she ages out.”

 Loona scooted backwards on the bench with a whine. She curled up and began crying.

“Good riddance, if you ask me,” said the lady. “She’ll never amount to anything much.”

Loona wasn’t too happy when Blitzo decided to adopt her.

‘Great,’ she thought. ‘Now I have to be dragged on a fucking leash by an imp. I can’t have sex with anyone without pain. And for Satan’s sake, why isn’t my phone working?! Ugh, I wish I had my meth back.’

0 0 0

Loona walked sideways over toward Vortex at the beach on Earth.

 “Hey, you,” she tried.

“Hey,” Vortex replied. “You’re the hound working for my boss’s freaky ex.”

“Yeah. Sorry if that’s weird.”

“It’s cool,” he shrugged. “Her beef ain’t mine. I’m not paid enough to care.”

Loona laughed nervously. “Yeah. Yeah.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “I’m Loona!”

“Okay.” In her giddy tone he repeated, “I’m Vortex!” Both chuckled.

“That’s hot,” Loona said with a grin. Then her face turned red and flustered. “I mean like literally you know because vortexes, you know, they give off heat. Probably. Right?” She pointed both fingers in a snap, trying to act cool.

Vortex chuckled lightly. “Uh, yeah. I guess. But my friends call me Tex.”

“Oh yeah? I wish I had friends. I mean no, I mean, I don’t. I…I don’t have friends.”

Just then, Blitzo arrived, moving himself between them.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Nah man. Just having a conversation,” Vortex replied.

Blitzo narrowed his eyes and wagged a finger at him. “’Conversation’ leads to HPV!” Loona clenched her fists in frustration.

Loona pinched her nose. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Loona said to Blitzo in concern. “You’re gonna get us all into shit.”

“I just wanted to see what was so important that you’d be distracted from your job.”

Loona angrily pulled Blitzo away from Vortex.

“What, I can’t have a break?”

Blitzo yelled at the top of his lungs. “We have a parking spot on the line!”

“Hey dude,” Vortex mentioned as he walked over. “Why don’t you chill out?”

Blitzo wagged a finger. “Why don’t you stay out of it?”

He turned back to Loona.

“Okay, this is our business!” He pointed to the ground and in his tail was a drawing of Blitzo killing a person, a horse followed by an equal sign and dollar signs. “Literally!”

Loona clenched her fists and briefly leaned forward in anger. “Oh fuck Blitzo! Why can’t you stay out of my face for like five minutes?!”

 “Because I adopted you! And that should mean something!”

 “Oh what does it matter? You’re not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!”

“It still counts!”

“Well it shouldn’t! I didn’t need you then, asshole! I don’t need you now!”

A tense silence followed. Both of them crossed their arms, their backs to each other. Both faces showed hurt expressions.

0 0 0

  Loona found herself back at Beelzebub’s party.

Nearby, a group of Mean Girl Hellhounds were talking amongst themselves.

 The leader was a poodle with red sclera eyes, thick pink hair, a red bowtie on her head and long fake eyelashes. She wore a pearl necklace, red glasses, lipstick, a fluffy collar, and a gray-green mini-skirt with stars. Her tail was decorated with loops of fur and her claws had red nail polish on them. One of her friends wore a plain white shirt and dark pants and another hellhound was a dalmatian wearing a short dress, black on the top and pink on the bottom. All three teens wore red bowties.

 “And so I told him, I’m not gonna go get it, unless you fucking throw it this time!” said the leader.

 “That is so not fetch!” replied the dalmatian, waving her hand.

 “Not fetch…” the leader smirked.

 Loona, wanting to fit in, blurted out, “Hahaha! Yeah, like that happens all the time…ah ha…”

 The three teens glared at her.

 “O.M.G. Loona?” asked the leader, with an upturned nose. “Lunatic Loona? That you?”

 Loona held her arm. “Uhhh, yeah, it’s Loona, yeah…”

 The leader smirked. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?”

 “I’m sure you’ll remind me,” Loona growled.

 “Yeah, this, this is you, right?”

 The leader smirked and showed a picture of Loona throwing up in a closet on her cell phone.

 Loona growled. “Why do you still have that?”

 “It brings me joy. You know you’re supposed to keep things that bring you joy.”

 The leader scoffed, “Wow…you’re being really negative,” as Loona clenched her fists and growled more. “Your aura is really aggressive right now.”

 “Oh yeah,” Loona retorted. “Well maybe because I’m in the presence of a massive BITCH!”

 The crowd gasped.

 “Oh, my dog, wow,” drawled the leader poodle teen.

 “What?!” Loona exclaimed. “Is that not an okay thing to say?! Like, come on, it’s true!”

 “You can’t say that!” called someone in the background.

 “We’re in Hell, shut up!” barked Loona.

 Vortex came back and handed Loona a cup. “Did I miss anything?”

 “No, no, no…no, nothing…no,” Loona muttered, already feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable in this vast new place.

0 0 0

“There is no reason to be sacred, Loonie,” Blitzo said as he drove the van. “I know we’re on our way for your very important…”

He spoke in a whisper, “Hellbies S.H.O.T…”

Loona’s eyes stayed wide as she stared at him.

“…but I promise it’ll be quick and easy. It takes years to book an appointment at this place, it took five to get this one. And you’ve been doing a lot of field work, so you need it.”

Loona stayed frozen.

Blitzo got out of the van and picked up Loona with both hands, carrying her over his head.

“Come on, Loonie, come on, this’ll be over lickity split alright?”

Blitzo carried her over toward the double doors. Loona struggled to get away, but Blitzo grabbed hold of her. As the double doors opened, Blitzo was dragging her into the waiting room by her tail. Her claws scratched the floor in protest. There was a round purple rug and several round yellow-pink waiting chairs.

“Christ on a stick!” Blitzo swore. “I have waited five fucking years for this appointment! FUCK ME IN MY LITTLE RED HOLE!”

“Yes well, we will be ready for her in just a bit. Please take a seat Mr. “O.” said the nurse.

The demon mother Blitzo saw earlier raised her eyes after seeing his gun.

“Perv,” Blitzo waved his hand, slouched forward, and took a seat with his arms folded. He tapped his finger impatiently on his shoulder.

Blitzo glanced and saw Loona whimpering and shaking under three chairs.

“Oh, don’t worry Loonie,” said Blitzo. “It’s okay, it’s just one little prick, you won’t feel it.” He bopped her on the nose.

“Ew, don’t say that, it sounds vulgar,” spat the demon mother.

Blitzo glared. “Excuse me?”

“Pervert!” mocked the lady, folding her arms.

 More hours seemed to pass. Blitzo swung his boots back and forth and Loona eventually lay on two chairs, half-asleep. The demon lady stared at her green cellphone.

Blitzo tried to make the situation less awkward.

“Soooo, nice weather we’re having, huh?”

Just then, the boy demon pointed at Blitzo. “Look mommy! They let varmints in here!”

Blitzo scowled. “The fuck did you just call me?”

“A wild animal, a miscreant, a fire toad!” the boy replied. He was pulled to the side by his mother.

“It’s not polite to call them that to their face, honey. Wait ‘til we’re in the car.”

Blitzo stood up, teeth bared. “You got a problem with me? (censored “cunt”)?”

The woman gasped and pulled her son close. “There is a child present, you filthy Wrathian!”

“You’re one to talk, you pompous Karen Leviathan,” Blitzo responded. “And by the way, I’m not from Wrath, bitch. ALSO, my kid’s here too, and I don’t think she would appreciate you calling her father… ‘things.’”

The mother raised her hand and called to the nurse. “Is there any way we can reschedule for a time when less of the unemployed rabble are out?”

Blitzo scoffed. “Oh please. I bet the hardest work you’ve ever done is convincing your husband that little shit’s his.” He pointed to the boy and his eyes watered.

The lady got in his face. “Oh yeah, and what do you do that’s SO important?”

Blitzo smirked. “Me? Oh, I kill people.” He pulled out his pistol. “How does a two for one special sound, whore?” He aimed the pistol at her, and they both got into a wrestling fight.

The nurse came out of the room. “Mr. “O,” the doc will see your hound, now.”

Blitzo strangled the mother and the boy with his arm, then shoved them to the floor. Dusting off his pants, he carried a scared Loona into the room, blowing a raspberry behind him with his snake-like tongue. More signs read “helladays” “wait behind here,” and by a soap dispenser, “please cleanse your claws.”

Blitzo sat Loona next to him on the covered patient chair in the small vet room.

Not too long after, the doctor came in. He was a pink goat with teal horns, a white furry beard, and round glasses. He wore a white suit, dark pants, and a teal necktie. He had thick white eyebrows and a flickering teal candle in the center of his head. He had an upside down pink cross logo on his suit. He flipped through a notepad with his hoof-hands, sitting on a small chair shaped like a paw-print. His name tag read “Dr. Somma.”

“Welcome, Bingo!” he greeted Blitzo. He then pointed at Loona. “And this must be Tuna!”

Blitzo waved a hand. “Loona, yeah, and can you hurry up please? She isn’t a fan of shots, so let’s try and make this quick for all our sakes.”

Nearby posters showed various hellhound faces showing various emotions – “How do you feels?” Another one showed a jumping blonde hellhound with “Don’t do this!” in bold red letters. Another one showed a red male hellhound looking in a mirror and wearing sunglasses. The caption read, “Look at your life…who is that dog?” On a desk were a bowl of treats, Kleenex, a sink with paper towels, and a radio with teeth around the round speaker.

The doctor stood up. “Oh, come now, it can’t be that bad. I see hellhounds every day and there hasn’t been ONE that caused any issue.”

He dug through a bin of needles and held up a giant needle with green liquid inside. Loona’s eye twitched and she growled, fur standing up. Sensing this, Blitzo raced toward the doctor and lifted him up just before Loona charged at the spot where he was moments before. Blitzo jumped before Loona could attack and raced off Loona to the other side of the room. Loona howled as Blitzo faced the doctor. “Yep, right there, told ya, dipshit,” Blitzo said. He took the giant syringe and the doctor stood in fear.

For the next several minutes, Blitzo, Loona and the doctor yelled and barked and chased each other in circles around the chair. Blitzo was gripping onto Loona’s tail, trying to slow her down. The scared doctor found himself backed against a wall, syringe in his hands. Loona growled and crouched down like a wolf, drool dripping from her mouth. Blitzo spread his arms out wide from behind Loona. The doctor tossed the needle over Loona’s head and Blitzo caught it. With a yell, Blitzo charged at Loona with the needle. Loona moved out of the way and whacked Blitzo hard with her tail.

“OW! Sorry!” Blitzo called. Blitzo climbed on top of her and managed to pin her arms onto the chair. Loona snapped her jaws and moved her head to the sides as the doctor aimed the needle at her neck. She dodged to the left, to the right and ducked. Clenching her fists, she broke free from Blitzo’s grip and swatted the doctor away with her clawed hand. He fell into the bin of needles and screamed as nine needles stuck out of him. He leaped into the air in pain. After Blitzo helped get the needles out of the doctor, he wiped his blooded lip, one of his eyes swollen. The doctor flinched as Blitzo then rode Loona like a wild bull. Loona tried to buck Blitzo off, but Blitzo managed to grab her nose and jaw and pin her face to the floor.

Blitzo mentioned for the doctor to come over and the doctor nodded. The doctor walked over…and stuck the needle right into Loona’s butt. Her red eyes bulged, and she let out a feral howl of pain. Blitzo fell off her back and crashed onto the floor. The doctor helped him up, staring at the cracks in the floor from the impact. After Loona was sedated, she had a white cone placed over her head.

But it didn’t stop there…Loona yelped and screamed as she felt the pricks of more needles sticking into her back, legs, and neck. She couldn’t move…her paws and belly were stuck to the operating table with what appeared to be black goo.

“You know what happens to rabid dogs who don’t behave?”

A distorted voice chilled her to the bone.

Loona flinched and cried as she noticed…

…black liquid in the hovering needles?!

“They get PUT TO SLEEP!”

The liquid felt like acid as it was injected into her, and her fear level spiked.

“Now there’s a good little doggie,” mused a distorted voice next to her.

Loona screamed as Rolando hovered next to her in a white lab coat, mouth open in a sinister grin. “Just relax and let me…sedate your mind.”

Loona’s eyelids slowly closed as Rolando’s black goo entered her…

0 0 0

Loona stood up unnaturally, her eyes glowing yellow and an evil sharp grin appearing on her face.

“OH CRUMBS!” Moxxie yelled as possessed Loona swiped at him with sharp claws.

Blitzo and Millie heard the commotion.

“Mox!” cried Millie.

“Loonie!” cried Blitzo.

They burst into the room.

“Oh shit, that scum got inside her!” Blitzo flinched back.

Loona leaped and bounded down the stairs.

“Quick! We’re taking the fight outside!” Millie called. They followed her and everyone was soon standing in front of the I.M.P. building.

Millie brandished her black double-bladed axe. Blitzo held up a hand.

“Wait, don’t hurt her!”

“That’s not her!” Millie reminded him.

Moxxie shivered. “How are we supposed to take down a Hellhound?!”

No sooner did he say those words when Loona leaped forward and swiped Moxxie so hard, he flew backwards into the brick wall. He groaned and collapsed.

“I’m okay,” he winced.

“Loonie, SNAP OUT OF IT!” Blitzo yelled, dodging and blocking Loona’s fists. Millie leaped onto Loona’s neck, grabbing it hard to try and knock her out.

But like a wild bull, Loona bucked the imp off of her. Millie rolled to the ground with a yelp but stood up on shaking legs.

“I can’t wait to tear you imps apart!” roared Rolando in a mix of Loona’s voice and his own.

Rolando glanced back at the sobbing Loona in her mind. “And I can’t wait to taste your guilt and despair when you kill your own ‘dad’ and co-workers with your bare claws!”

Blitzo and Millie both rushed at Loona, but several punches from both her paws sent them back. She grabbed Blitzo by his collar and tossed him toward Moxxie. He rolled out of the way just in time before Blitzo tumbled onto his back.

He angrily brushed himself off and rubbed his side. “Oh, she is so grounded!”

Blitzo then yelled in shock as Loona grabbed his head and dragged him along the wall. He screamed as his face got scraped, black blood running down the side.

Blitzo weakly grabbed her throat…

“You don’t want to hurt you so-called daughter do you?”

Blitzo paused…and was promptly knocked out as Rolando slammed him against the ground.

Rolando cackled again, his shadow hovering over Blitzo’s limp form. “This Hellhound strength against three puny lowborn imps…all too easy!”

Blitzo would’ve been Rolando’s meal if Millie didn’t leap behind him and slash Loona’s arm with her axe. “Loona” growled and spat.

“Do not make me hurt Loona more!” Millie panted.

“Oh, all you imps do that just fine,” came Loona’s distorted voice. Rolando licked the black blood trailing down Loona’s arm. He swiped at Millie with Loona’s tail. “When was the last time you included her in missions? In events? She’s inexperienced, stuck behind her phones in the background!”

Millie wrapped her tail around Loona’s leg, trying to trip her. Rolando scratched at Millie’s tail, making her let go and cry out. Moxxie tapped something on his cell phone.

Blitzo slowly opened his eyes. Rolando moved closer to the fallen Blitzo and grinned.

“Loona never really cared about you. She was too up in her meth-addicted teenage mind to appreciate your half-witted attempts to support her!”

Tears fell from Blitzo’s eyes as he curled up. “Y-you’re wrong, asshole!”

“I’m in her mind now,” Rolando answered. “I know all the feelings she’s kept hidden from all of you. She never fully fit in with your little group and she never…”

Moxxie fired a few bullets from his rifle at Rolando’s back.

Rolando whirled around, a demonic growl escaping Loona’s throat. “I’M TRYING TO EAT HERE!”

Moxxie yelped, barely avoiding Loona’s sharp claws.

Millie elbowed Rolando hard in the side, swinging her leg and almost making Rolando trip.

“Outta my way, hick!” he seethed.

“Fuck off, dick!” Millie retorted.

Moxxie starred at his jammed rifle with a hopeless look.

Rolando reached toward Blitzo with deadly claws and gloated, “YOU WERE NEVER A REAL FATHER TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

Blitzo growled and sobbed.

Moxxie took a shaking breath and pulled out a knife from his belt…his last weapon on hand.

Rolando licked his lips, frightening Blitzo even more.

“Keep sobbing, Blitzy! Gotta love that extra flavor before your death!”

He opened his mouth to bite him…

Rolando screamed as Moxxie raced behind him and stabbed him deep in the back. Before he could react, Millie kicked him hard in the gut and sent him onto his back. Moxxie moved out of the way and grabbed both of his wrists, while Millie slashed lightly at one of Loona’s feet. She held her feet down, struggling to hold on.

“Blitz!” cried Millie. “Save your daughter! Wake her up!”

Blitzo crawled and winced as he reached desperately to her.

“Loonie! It’s me! I know you’re in there!”

“Blitz! Help!” cried Loona from inside her mind as his face appeared.

Rolando hovered in front of the screen, blocking her view of Blitz.

“I love you, Loona, do you hear me?!” Blitzo yelled, getting close to her face. “Don’t let that pond scum get to you! I adopted you for a reason…I saw potential in you to be a great fighter…I couldn’t let you become homeless…”

His words were muffled by a rush of dark water splashing against the seats.

“Blitz! Speak up!”

“I can’t hold her much longer!” Moxxie cried.

Rolando chuckled as he gripped her throat hard. She gasped for breath, straining uselessly against her chains.

Off to the side of Rolando’s head, Loona could make out a blurry image of Blitzo…

Her adoptive dad, with tears running down his face…and love in his eyes. Blitzo took a breath and wrapped his arms around the held-down Hellhound.

But this time, Loona didn’t fight it…

…she could feel Blitzo’s comforting embrace…if only the faint hints of it. She remembered the good times she had with Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie…how they accepted her for who she was…like a real part of the family. She thought of Octavia…her new friend who felt like a sister, and their shared interests in taxidermy, gothic culture and music. How Blitzo saved her and cherished her from the beginning, despite not always seeing eye to eye.

Despite the fights and arguments…Blitzo never gave up on her.

Now was not the time to give up on him.

Loona summed all her strength…and bit hard into Rolando’s hand. Rolando screamed as his hand was torn right off. She shook it and it was tossed to the side in a black bloody heap.

Rolando was about to deliver a fatal blow…

“NOW!” Blitzo shot his head up and raised a fist. Moxxie and Millie slammed Loona’s body down to the ground. Blitzo punched Loona’s gut hard…

…and black liquid poured out of Loona’s mouth.

The Hellhound groaned and opened her now normal red eyes.

“The fuck…?” she groaned.

Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo sobbed in relief and hugged her.

“Ow! Shit! Let go of me!” Loona barked. Blitzo didn’t mind being pushed aside as Loona slowly got up with the help of Millie and Moxxie.

“You’re alive, thank Satan!” Blitzo wept. “You almost killed us!”

“Sorry,” Loona mentioned. She looked around. “Where is…?”

A black and red eye appeared in the sky and three black robed figures zoomed down toward the imps.

Rolando rematerialized, just in time for the reaper-looking figures to put black manacles on his arms. They snapped their fingers and Rolando’s purple and black hotel uniform changed into an orange prison jumpsuit.

“What the…?!” Rolando bellowed in his distorted voice.

One of the reapers held up a scroll as the other two dragged Rolando to a black car decorated with spikes.

“ROLANDO, ROGUE INFESTOR DEMON OF THE ENVY RING, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF INNOCENT MORTALS WITHOUT THE AWARENESS OF QUEEN LEVIATHAN, AND FOR THE KIDNAPPING AND TORMENTING OF IMPS, SUCCUBI, INCUBI AND OTHER DEMONS FROM OUTSIDE YOUR RING!”

“GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME!”

“YOUR PUNISHMENT SHALL HENCEFORTH BE ROTTING IN A CELL FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG AND WATCHING YOUR DARKEST TRAUMAS LIVE ON TV!”

“YOU CAN’T ENTER INTO MY MIND…”

“WE CAN’T…BUT SHE CAN!”

A portal opened and out stepped…

“Mother?” Rolando squeaked.

An aquatic demon stood wearing a purple dress, a pearl necklace and had the same gray skin, fins and transparent hair as her son. “Ro-Ro? Is that you?”

Millie and Blitzo snickered.

“WE’RE SORRY ABOUT YOUR SON CAUSING HAVOC UP ON EARTH, MA’AM,” said one of the reapers.

Rolando’s mother scoffed. “You don’t need to scream at me! Haven’t seen him since we left him to fend for himself when he came of age. Seeing him again…” she narrowed his eyes. “No internet fame? No harem? No dignity? How disappointing.”

Rolando turned red in the face. “Mother, I killed so many people! I’m the most infamous infestor around!”

“Then kindly explain why you got your fins fried by a bunch of low-class firetoads and a mutt?”

Moxxie giggled behind his hands.

“I’m rich!” Rolando protested. “I have my own underground mansion…”

“Helsa and Seviathan could bury you alive in their wealth,” his mother countered. “Your father and I raised you better than this!”

She ripped Rolando’s glasses off his face and put them over her eyes.

“MY SHADES!” Rolando roared.

“That is…or was the one good thing about you. I’m off to the Infest Festival…try not to starve in jail.”

“Mother, wait!” Rolando called. But the aquatic woman shook her head and headed back to Envy.

“Oooh, who’s got some trauma now?!” Blitzo smirked.

Rolando was tossed hard into the back to the cruiser. A large screen was close to his face…

…and the screen blinked to life as pink unicorns laughed and gave each other hugs. Joyful music played.

“Sing along with us as we tap into the joys of love!” beamed a unicorn.

“NOOO, FUCK, GROSS!”

“It’s about time you had some positivity in your life!” Blitzo taunted to him. “Oh, wait, can’t you eat your OWN negativity?”

Rolando yelled and swore as the doors closed and the car zoomed away.

“AT LEAST YOU AREN’T DEAD!” Blitzo finished.

Loona and Millie cheered.

Blitzo winked at Moxxie. “Did you call Hell’s cops?”

Moxxie grinned and wiggled his phone. “Always helps to have your hell-phone with you!”

He typed into his phone again.

“Speaking of which, I’m calling the hospital now,” said Moxxie. “We don’t want our wounds getting infected.”

“Good point,” Blitzo added.

Then he turned to Loona. “I really do love you. No matter what happens, we’ll face it together.”

“D-dad…” Loona began. “I’m sorry…I should’ve appreciated you for…”

Blitzo waved a hand. “It’s all behind us. And I’m sorry too…for sometimes being too protective…you’re all grown up now. You’re more than ready to go on missions with us…or hang out with your friends…and I…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

Loona and Blitzo hugged each other again. Moxxie and Millie smiled and held hands as they watched.

“Speaking of hospitals, isn’t it time for you to have another…s.h.o.t?” Blitzo whispered with hesitation.

Loona shoved Blitzo away and cowered back.

“Come on, Loonie, I’ll be with you the whole time…it won’t be like last time…”

“Ack!” Blitzo arched to avoid her teeth. “Loona! You will get no treats and no screen time if you don’t settle down!”

“FUCK YOU, DAD! I’M NOT GOING!”

“I’LL LET YOU PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG WITH YOUR HELLHOUND FRIENDS AND WITH OCTAVIA IF YOU BEHAVE!”

“Liar!”

“I’m telling the truth! Moxxie, Millie, a little help here?”

Millie smirked. “Naw. After fighting a demon, you’re on your own!”

She leaned in toward Moxxie. “Shall we rest and recover together before we get checked in?”

Moxxie chuckled nervously. “Not too much, I’m still slightly sore.”

“LOONA I SWEAR TO SATAN…”

Blitzo sighed as Millie and Moxxie headed to their room as Loona continued to hiss at him.

“Fucking teenagers.”

Blitzo paused. “Hey Mox…the po-po don’t know anything about our illegal missions to Earth, right?”

Moxxie waved a hand and laughed nervously. “O-of course not, sir!”

Several robed figures scribbled on clipboards as they inspected the I.M.P. building. Their flaming eyes followed the imps and Loona. One of them held a strand of black rope.

Moxxie glanced back with worry. “Heh. Everything’s fine…”

[blackjackkent]

The Hellraisers - Chapter 1

Pairing: Karlach/Male Custom Tav, Tav & Wyll, Karlach & Wyll Characters: OC Male Tav (Hector Carlisle), Karlach, Wyll Rating: E (Fic), T (Chapter) Warnings: None Descriptors: Post-Game, Action/Adventure/Romance, Eventual Happy Ending Chapter Word Count: 4.5k Chapter Setting: Avernus, immediately after the end of BG3 Summary: Hector Carlisle, a Selunite monk turned adventuring warrior, follows his lover Karlach and his friend Wyll into the depths of hell after the fall of the Netherbrain. Together, they take on an even greater foe - Zariel, the Archdevil of Avernus. The Hells won't know what hit them. Chapter Summary: Hector, Karlach, and Wyll arrive in the Hells after a panicked flight from Baldur's Gate - and the weight of what they've decided to do starts to sink in.

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Hector Carlisle’s journals of the Absolutist crisis provide one of the most comprehensive summaries available to modern historians of the events leading up to what is now called the High Hall Shattering. There is not a single day for which Carlisle does not account in detail between Alturiak 10 1492 DR (when he first obtained pen and ink after the crash of the nautiloid which kidnapped him) and Uktar 24 (the night before the Netherbrain’s public attack on Baldur’s Gate’s Upper City). However, after the defeat of the Netherbrain, his own records of his activities abruptly become much more intermittent and rather staccato in nature, lacking the level of detail common to his so-called “Tadpole Chronicles.”

There are multiple theories regarding this sharp change in Carlisle’s record-keeping tendencies. Some of these theories incline towards the conspiratorial - suggesting that the monk’s disappearance into Avernus was associated with some sort of nefarious activity which he was unwilling to commit to paper. Some even go so far as to accuse him of sacrilegious behavior, though this is rendered unlikely by records of both Carlisle’s own Selunite convictions and opinions from all who knew him.

A far more probable explanation is that Carlisle’s thorough record-keeping in his pre-Shattering travels emerged from a sense of obligation. As a monk at the Silverlight Monastery, he had primarily occupied himself with transcription and scholarship of historical texts, and his training placed considerable emphasis on self-reliance and emotional reserve. As such, he considered his own journals to be necessary documentation in the same vein, and he prided himself on impartial and factual chronicling. 

His departure to Avernus with Wyll Ravengard and Karlach Cliffgate would ultimately prove no less impactful to the world at large. However, it is clear that he considered it a far more personal endeavor, as evidenced by the remarkably succinct entry from Uktar 25 1492, his first entry after his departure from the Material Plane:

Uktar 25 1492

She’s alive. She’s going to live. Thank the gods.

~ Excerpt from “Raising Hell: A History of Zariel’s Fall” by Harlow et. al., Blackstaff Academy Press

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"Hec, look out! On your left!"

Hector dodges to the side just in time to avoid the imp diving towards him; its claws skim the side of his head and score a painful line along his temple. Pivoting onto his heel, he spins, bringing his right fist around to slam heavily into the imp's thick torso. The evil little creature’s spine snaps and it screeches with pain. He takes no satisfaction in it, but watches with blank exhaustion as the imp falls to the rust-red dirt and is still. 

"Nice one!" Wyll calls. He withdraws his rapier from the body of another imp and points past Hector’s shoulder. "Looks like another wave coming in - off to the west." Hector follows his gaze and groans; sure enough, another band of the imps is closing in on them, surging over the horizon like a swarm of bees.

It’s been like this ever since they arrived. They’ve had no chance to orient themselves, no time to get a foothold after their panicked flight from the Material Plane. Avernus rose up to meet them like a body driving out an infection; the first wave of defenders appeared within minutes, closing on this raw strip of hellish wasteland to which they brought Karlach to save her life.

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[adams-sinful-wings]

Adam stood in the doorway of his new studio apartment, holding the single key he'd been given. The building was old, grimy, and looked like it had been slapped together with the bare minimum of effort. The smell of sulfur and rot was faint but persistent, the kind of scent you'd expect in a place like Imp City.

He stepped inside, the creaky floorboards groaning beneath his boots. The wallpaper was tearing off, and the single window was cracked, barely letting in the dim red glow of Hell’s eternal skyline. The tiny kitchenette consisted of a warped countertop, a rusted sink, and an old gas stove that looked like it might explode if he used it.

Adam: *muttering to himself* $666 a month, huh? Looks like they charged me extra for the roaches. *He sighed and dropped his bag onto the floor with a thud, glancing around.*

Cain wandered in after him, clutching his stuffed rag doll tightly. His wide eyes darted around the room, and he scrunched his nose.

Cain: *softly* I-it smells...weird.

Adam: *kneeling down to ruffle Cain’s hair* Yeah, kiddo. That’s just Imp City for you. But hey, it’s ours. *gesturing around with a weak smile* Home sweet home.

Cain walked over to the single mattress Adam had managed to buy from a secondhand shop earlier that day. It was thin and lumpy, but Cain didn’t seem to mind. He sat on it and kicked his legs, looking at his dad with a small, hopeful smile.

Cain: We’re not g-gonna live in the streets anymore?

Adam: *shaking his head* Nope. No more streets. No more freezing our asses off. And we’ve got a door we can lock. *smirks faintly* Fancy, huh?

Cain’s smile grew a little bigger, though his cheeks still flushed with the faint red hue of uncertainty.

Adam leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. He wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or defeated. He’d scraped together every last penny to get this place: that month's rent, the last month's rent, and a security deposit that he was sure he’d never see again. $2,000 gone, just like that.

Still, it was better than nothing. It was a roof over their heads, even if it leaked, and a door to lock, even if the hinges looked like they might snap off if someone sneezed on them.

Cain pulled out his doll and began quietly talking to it, his small voice echoing in the sparse room. Adam watched him for a moment, his heart sinking. Cain deserved so much better than this. But they didn’t have a choice. This was survival, and Adam was determined to make it work.

Adam: *forcing a grin and clapping his hands together* Alright, Cain. First order of business: let’s figure out where to put your “room.” *gestures vaguely to the open floorplan* What do you think? By the window or by the stove that probably still has rat guts in it?

Cain giggled softly, a sound that, despite everything, made Adam’s chest ache with a strange mix of guilt and love. At least he was trying.

And Adam had a lot of cleaning to do…

[rhiandoesfandom]

Ficlet-Learning To Be Gentle

Making another ficlet while laying in bed cause I wanna write but I'm also exhausted.

Enjoy!

Timeline: Post Season 2, Bruised from the fight at his palace with Andrealphus, Stolas has lost everything and is brought back to Blitz's apartment.

Blitz pushes open the stuck door with his whole body, using his whole weight to push the dumb rusted hinges. The sudden opening of the door doesn't phase Stolas as he stares at the ground, hugging himself, feeling so very out of place here.

Blitz gestures in and when Stolas doesn't move, he hesitantly takes his hand and pulls him in slowly, Stolas letting him. Then Blitz closes the front door.

Stolas looks around but doesn't want to take in much right now, all he does take in is that it's extremely small. Of course, they're an imp and hellhound. But, he can only see three rooms. The one they're in, the restroom, and a room with many signs on it.

Blitz gestures to the couch that's beat up and rubs the back of his neck, clearly nervous as well. They haven't said a word to one another since he brought him home. But Blitz would never let him stay on the street, or ask another Goetia that barely knows him. No chance.

Blitz rubs his hands and heard Loona 's music and walks over to her door, cracking it open.

"Hey uh, we have a guest in the living room. Do you mind handing me some of your extra pillows and blankets, the floor cot you take for sleepovers, and your largest shirt?" He asks and she tilts his head, peeking behind him and widening her eyes at Stolas's defeated owl eyes and bruised face, "Oh. Yeah I'll throw them all out in a sec".

Blitz smiles, "Thanks Loonie". "No sweat", she says.

She does throw them out, right at Blitz and he growls a little as they make him fall over then he carries it all over to the space in front of the couch, collapsing it all and setting up the cot with the pillows and blankets, and handing Stolas the shirt.

Stolas holds up the oversized Verosika mayday shirt, "What's this for?" He asks. Blitz chuckles, seeing which one she picked. Of course that one.

"For you to sleep in", he replies. Stolas blinks and hesitantly takes off his clothes that admittedly feel great to peel off, sweat sticking to the fabric and his feathers. But before he puts it on he pauses.

"Could I uhm...do you have a shower?" He asks and Blitz chuckles, "Of course we have a shower what do you th-nevermind. In here", Stolas follows him to the restroom and Blitz pulls him to crouch down by the hand to make sure he doesn't hit his head on the doorframe. Then he realizes Stolas is already naked and blushes, biting his lip. He quickly digs in the closet and pulls out a folded towel and hands it to him, "Take as much time in there as you need".

Stolas nods as Blitz closes the door, giving him privacy. He takes a deep breath and prepares to squish himself in this small and messy shower, already missing his rain shower at home. A home that's no longer his. He tries to pull back tears but as the water hits his chest they fall and he starts to sob.

Blitz looks to the bathroom door with a pained expression as Loona escapes her room for a moment to grab a soda.

"I thought you two weren't sympatico at the moment", she asks, opening the can. Blitz hugs himself, "Well...it's..complicated", he rubs his arms, feeling goosebumps from thinking about just how complicated it is.

"Well, if he's going through a hard time you better be gentle with him", she says. He blinks, "Gentle..?" and looks back at her but she's already back in her room, and he looks back to the bathroom door. He drops his arms and heads into the kitchen, starting a kettle of hot water while he hears Stolas finishing up.

Stolas comes out and shivers himself, rubbing his own arms.

"Got just the thing for that", Blitz says, handing him one of his horse mugs of tea and dropping two sugar cubes in it. Stolas manages a small smile, "Thank you. What kind?" He asks. Blitz's mouth forms a line, "Kind?"

"Kind of tea, dear?" He asks again, sitting on the couch and Blitz sits next to him, pulling a blanket over both their legs. Well, most of Stolas's legs.

"Uh...black? Its the only kind Loonie had. Sorry" he replies, starting to flip through the channels.

Stolas sips it, "That's alright. I don't think I can sleep tonight anyway".

"Yeah it's been a long day. Do you wanna watch a movie? Doesn't have to be something serious. We can just turn our brains off and watch something", Blitz asks and goes to put his hand on Stolas's thigh, bringing him out of his dissociation.

"What? Oh, sure", he replies and looks back down at his tea. Watching the sugar melt the rest of the way.

Blitz wonders if Stolas blames him for losing everything. It wouldn't be the first time he's made someone he loves lose everything.

"What about this uh- sappy romance movie?" He asks Stolas and taps his thigh gently again, "Stols? You there?"

Stolas hesitantly looks up, "Hmm? Sure. I thought you didn't like rom coms".

Blitz smirks, "I can be swayed for the right person".

Stolas blushes and looks away, continuing sipping his tea as Blitz presses play.

They start the movie and Stolas pulls Blitz's legs over his lap for more warmth. Blitz wrapping his tail around his leg too.

"I-is that alright?" He asks Stolas and he nods, and Blitz takes that as enough of a sign to lean his head on Stolas's shoulder as well. This shit movie was actually pretty funny, as well as warranting "Awws" from Stolas every few minutes.

At the end of the movie, Blitz goes to reach for the remote only to be stuck in place by a sleeping owl. And suddenly his sleeping coos are obvious. He looks up at him and smiles, kissing his cheek gently, and curling up closer to him to attempt to fall asleep as well.

[burnwater13]

Din Djarin holding the mystery lightsaber, while pieces of The Emperor's Dream lay on either side of him. Mini-figure and parts by LEGO. Image by me.

Not Fair? Part 16 of LEGO My Lightsaber

The Mandalorian wasn’t sure what he expected to do when he reached the surface of Zoh. The New Jedi Council was completely focused on addressing the problem of The Emperor’s Dream. Neat stacks of parts and sub assemblies had been forming all over the surface of the planet, as far as his sensors could detect. If he’d never seen Grogu lift that mudhorn up, he would never have believed his eyes now. But he did believe his eyes and the sensors and the plan they had laid out. He just wasn’t sure what his next step should be.

“Hey, Mando. Do you need anything? Anything at all? Rowan and the others are pretty busy and while I’d normally be happy to lay back and just sit in an oil bath, I’ve been informed that my job is to make sure that the humans and other non-droids are properly cared for.”

“Sure. Can you get me a cup of caf?”

As long as the battle droid had a job that wasn’t about battle, he was as happy about it doing something as it was.

“Of course. I’m an expert at making caf. Just ask anyone. Except Kordi. Or Zander. Or Rowan for that matter. I’ll get you a cup of caf.”

Great. That promised to be something liquid. 

“Mando to Lt. Valeria…”

“Valeria here. What’s up Mando?”

He could hear other people asking her for their next orders and telling her what they had completed. She sounded busy.

“Just wondering if we have any other interlopers.”

“Negative. Durpin has cried himself to sleep and Plumestriker is trying to eat us out of house and home. I guess they’ve had it pretty rough the last few months. I’d tell you more, but we are in full repair mode right now, just like your Mandalorian counterparts. But don’t worry, if we get a hit on the sensors we’ll let you know.”

“Roger that. Mando out.”

The Mandalorian turned back to look at the council and found himself face to face with the battle droid again. 

“No, Roger this. Here’s your caf. Hope you like black. We don’t have any of that stuff you humans ruin it with.”

The tone was judgmental and it made the Mandalorian curious.

“I didn’t think droids or mechs drank this stuff.” 

Djarin commented indicating the cup.

“We don’t. But it’s great for removing rust, paint blisters, and cleaning our circuits. That’s why I don’t understand why humans drink it. It can’t be good for you if does those other things.”

The Mandalorian looked at the dark translucent liquid that was steaming in a cup that had an old Imperial crest on it that was circled in red with a slash through it. He took a sniff and then poured it out onto the ground. There was no way he could bring himself to drink it.

“Hey! Waste not want not. I coulda used that to clean my hinges. This planet has so much sand on it, you’d think it was Tatooine’s twin.”

With that said, the battle droid stomped away muttering about how humans just didn’t understand priorities. 

Maybe they didn’t. Din Djarin recalled that he’d been sent to Zoh not just to pick up the Imps but to collect the lightsaber. Now he had it. He supposed that he should test it and see if it really was a lightsaber or if it was some sort of toy. Plumestriker thought it was a toy, but Durpin clearly thought he had discovered something of immense importance. Only one way to find out. 

He supposed he could have just stayed where he was and thumbed the switch that should have turned the thing on. But if he did that, would that distract the New Jedi Council? He couldn’t imagine Grogu not being distracted. His son had been wanting a lightsaber of his own ever since Skywalker had shown him the one that belonged to one of Grogu’s people, but refused to give it to him. 

The Mandalorian had heard a variety of choruses to a song that was generally about life not being fair and Jedi were supposed to help make it more fair, not less, and that Grogu had spent more time at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant than any of the people currently calling themselves Jedi or ‘not a Jedi’. The words changed over time but the sentiment was always the same. Life. Was. Not. Fair.

This was not a moment in time when Djarin wanted to deal with that song. Chances were good this wouldn’t be a moment of fairness either. The lightsaber he’d recovered with almost as tall as Grogu. It was perhaps just half of his son’s weight. Grogu would have to use the Force to use the weapon and that just didn’t make sense. At least not at this point in time. Better to move to a place that was out of sight and hope that equalled being out of mind. 

He looked around and noticed that a few meters to his right hand side that terrain of the strange planet dipped and rolled into a kind of parts laden valley. He wouldn’t be that far away if Grogu needed him for any reason, or Lt. Valeria for that matter, but he would be out of line of sight. He put thoughts into action and walked in that direction. 

When he reached the center of what looked and kind of felt like a pan or bowl, the way the sides raised up to block his view of everything else, he grinned. Now he wouldn’t distract Grogu and could just check the lightsaber out at his leisure without any droid or mech interrupting him. 

“Here goes nothing.”

The Mandalorian thumbed the switch to the ‘on’ position and and held his breath. He was either going to see a meter long beam of light emit from the handle or… nothing. 

To his surprise a bright blue beam was emitted not just straight from the hilt but across it as well. The smaller beams seemed to be intended to protect the users hand from other contact, something he hadn’t noticed on Ahsoka Tano’s blades, nor on Skywalker’s. He shrugged at that. Weapons evolved and changed over time, just like the people who used them. This one seemed to have been fashioned for beauty as well as lethality and he wondered which Jedi thought that was a good combination. The ones he’d met seemed far more practical. 

He thought about the Armorer trying to teach him how to use the Darksaber and how that had been nothing more than a fiasco. This lightsaber was just humming lightly at him. It felt comfortable in his hand. He could swing it easily. It wasn’t fighting him at all. Were they all that way? Or did this lightsaber simply not resent him for not being a Mandalorian by birth? As Grogu had explained and Seb Ta’low as well, Jedi came from many planets and backgrounds. They were connected by the Force. Mandalorians had to swear to the Creed and walk within its ways to remain Mandalorian. If you left the path, even for a moment, you were no longer Mandalorian. Perhaps that had been the problem with the Darksaber? Strange.

Almost as strange as how the light over his mock battle ground was fading fast. That didn’t seem right. Zoh didn’t have a short rotation around it’s axis. It shouldn’t be getting dark yet. Strange. 

Before he knew what was happening the blade of the lightsaber seemed to pull his arm high and the Mandalorian felt the jolt of the blade cutting through something, practically effortlessly. A moment later he stood there, pulse pounding in his ears, looking from side to side. A huge housing from one of the engines that had powered The Emperor’s Dream was now in two pieces, still red hot and sizzling. That housing would have crushed him. The lightsaber had saved his life. 

Whoops…