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#said goodbye 2 five of my davorite ppl in thr WORLD for the nezt 4 months like. how do we cope. how do we fucking COPE
pepprs · 5 years
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still haven’t cried yet but today broke my whole entire heart
#said goodbye 2 five of my davorite ppl in thr WORLD for the nezt 4 months like. how do we cope. how do we fucking COPE#ueah theres facetime and social media and all that but. nothing beats an in person conversation u know? nothing beats being in ur company :(#and it was my last time in the office and on campjs too and like. hm. i am reduced to a 3rd of myself i think. but also it doesnt feel real#ive been very numb today and i know its a protective measure so i wont be in pain bht like. what inconvenient timing... i wuld like to feel#something. and i mean i did feel something which was Quite A Lot Of Sadness but i still dont think its actually hit me that like... thats it#and i really am not gonna see them again for so long. my stomach is in literal knots rn i....... 😔#how do we cope hw do we fucking cope...#also im just like. so tired. more tired than sad j think. that took so much out of me emotionally and yet my emotions havent... caught up#quite yet. but i already feel empty... like a huge part of my head and heart are missing. and i havent eben taken off yet but this is hard.#purrs#like these are my People! the people i Love! how can i Be without them u know? how can i. how can i leave like this when i love tbem so much#agh. its so hard. i hurt so much but i do but i dont but i do but i dont and im empty but full but empty but full. i hurt and i dont hurt.#also i know im coming back so this is kust a see you later but... it really is more permanent than that in a way. cuz its like goodbye to th#me i am and the you you are right now in this moment... and we arent gonna get to see wach other growing and when i get back we’ll all be#different even thi we’re still the same. and well its just a lot!
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