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justporo · 1 year

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Words like daggers

A Night of Fake Smiles and Hidden Lies: Part 5

Author's Note: Firstly, don't worry. This part was already finished some time ago. I'm really trying to keep my promise to take my time with things, but I'm SO proud of this part, so you're getting it now and I will just update the fic how I feel like it after this. Also this part is pretty long so next chapter might take a couple more days so I can catch up.

Astarion and Tav finally enter the ball which is a show of blatant excess. Conversations are had, introductions are made and by the end champagne is splashed in peoples' faces and Astarion unknowingly lets out the most vicious of mockeries. Please enjoy!

Song: Camille Saint-Saëns – Danse Macabre Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Lots of swearing, soft mention of SA, people just being dicks...

CHAPTER LIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

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Slowly, the two of you made your way down the stairs to the ginormous ballroom.

Dim golden light from giant chandeliers, candles and mage lights everywhere set the atmosphere: warm, inviting, enticing and a bit gloomy; with the promise of darker corners where the light wouldn’t reach.

On the far end to one side of what could only be described as a hall was almost a full orchestra playing and the dancing was already in full swing – the middle of the room wholly reserved for couples twirling and turning. Enchanting melodies filled the room and sometimes the heavenly voice of an elven singer in front of the orchestra, precariously clothed in a white dress, drifted through the crowd.

Opposite the staircase tall windows and doors led outside where more people were standing with a view of the gardens of Herrenfordt Castle in the moonlight. A view so vast, you could see the hilly greens of the estate, then further below and seemingly an eternity away the twinkling lights of the city and the almost invisible in the darkness of the night: the river Chionthar.

And on the other side from the orchestra, you could see huge and widely thrown open doors that led to other rooms and other parts of the mansion. Quite a lot of the guests seemed to disappear into these other rooms but only few seemed to come back, mostly servants were coming from there – carrying trays loaded with more drinks and some with canapés on them. Yet the main ballroom didn’t seem to empty out anytime soon.

All around people were standing as couples or smaller groups: chatting, slandering, laughing, drinking the champagne or eating the food being offered by the many servants passing through the crowd with huge silver trays. Some seemed to be well in their cups already, staggering or sloshing their drinks while talking and gesticulating animatedly. Some couples already seemed very handsy as well – hands wandering deeper from backs to more insolent regions, décolletages emphasised with a carefully placed hand or arched back, spines straightened and shoulders rolled back to look taller and more intimidating.

Gold, diamonds and pearls seemed to be everywhere you looked. Everything and everyone was sparkling in their finery and giving off the aura of careless excess and frivolous debauchery.

Jewels shone from daunting cleavages, signet rings clanked on chalices, flamboyant headpieces swung around during coquettish laughter, deep red lips left stains on crystal glasses and silk shone like liquid in the dim lighting.

An impressive display of languid ignorance and luxurious degeneracy. And it was more than impressive even – it was intimidating.

You gulped as you let your eyes wander over the scenery and the crowd.

“Chin up, my love, we have a right to be here as much as everybody else. And also, you’re the second most beautiful person in this room, my heart”, you heard Astarion joke beside you. You gave him a look from the side as you indeed lifted your head up some more and straightened your back.

Astarion though didn’t look nervous at all. He wholly looked as if he belonged, his face now a display of arrogant boredom. And more than that even: he well looked like he could be the owner and host of all of this.

“You really have a way with backhanded compliments, you know that?”, you replied and looked down at the crowd again. Even more heads were turned towards you now, observing you as you made your entrance to this ball – and accordingly to the high society of Baldur’s Gate. But at least the pale elf at your side had managed to take the edge of your fear in that moment.

“Tell me I’m wrong, love”, Astarion replied and you could see him grin at you when you threw him another glance. “How could I?” And to that the vampire replied with a genuine smile.

As you descended the last couple of steps you could already see a young, male and pretty broad shouldered servant approach you with a tray full of broad rimmed crystal glasses filled with what you assumed must be this champagne people kept talking about – not that you ever tried it.

The servant came closer, an easy and polite smile on his lips. Seemingly, the dress code for the servants from here on out was much more casual: uniforms for men and women consisting of black pants, vests and loose white shirts which for most were only very lazily laced at the top.

“Ah, time for another lesson, my love: when someone hands you a glass of champagne: never decline!”, Astarion whispered to you as the server offered you the tray and you each carefully grabbed a glass. The server with long and loose black hair and slightly greyish skin – you were sure there must be drow in his ancestry - gave you a small wink then turned around to other guests.

You were surprised for a second and looked at Astarion who simply raised his eyebrows: “I told you, you looked incredible.” You shook your head with furrowed brows and took a sip of the sparkling champagne. As you drank you noticed how almost all faces that had previously been watching you had now turned around again. Obviously, the interest had merely been in watching you being presented like a piece of morsel on a silver platter – no one actually had any interest in getting to know you.

The champagne filled your mouth and surprised you with its taste: prickly and sharp but also with a rich sweetness that filled you and warmly eased its way down your throat. You were surprised to say you liked it.

While you drank you let your eyes wander of the crowd and found it quite diverse, but not as diverse as you were used to from your city: many humans and half-elves were present which wasn’t a surprise because they made up a large portion of the city’s overall population. Proportionally many elves were guests even which also wasn’t surprising because many were nobles and mostly represented in the Upper City. Even some tieflings or dragonborns were to be seen but rarely any dwarves, halflings or other races. Which confirmed what you had feared: while the city was generally pretty diverse and inclusive, the high society was elitist and only open too few. The champagne in your mouth tasted suddenly a bit like bile as you thought about that.

But your critical thoughts were soon interrupted by your soulmate. “Oh, what a fine drop. Dear, dear, I wouldn’t be surprised if this champagne wasn’t only older than you, my sweet, but also older than me”, Astarion said after he had taken some sips too. “This must unimaginably expensive”, he continued and let his gaze wander to you just as you had just downed the rest of your glass.

“Tav!”, he shrieked, his voice immediately several octaves higher as you blushed and realised that you had probably gulped down more money’s worth than you had paid for alcoholic beverages so far in your life. “But you said to never decline champagne”, you answered remorsefully. “Yes, decline, I didn’t tell you to down it like a pint of lukewarm beer tasting like piss”, the vampire hissed at you, but you already saw the servant from before approach again, throwing you a wicked smile and letting you swap out your empty glass for a new filled one. You thanked the server with a smile as he winked at you a second time and left again.

“And stop flirting with the staff!”, Astarion spat albeit you could hear that he was only teasing. Still, you were dangerously tempted to stomp on his foot: “I didn’t do anything! You told me to drink the champagne and suddenly I’m doing it all wrong or what? And you dragged me here all dolled up as if you wanted to show me off!” Your tone was half mad, half joking.

The vampire didn’t reply but pulled you in with a smirk by putting one arm around your waist and pulling you to his chest before he said in a tone that wasn’t remorseful at all: “I mean you’re not wrong. Maybe a bit of ‘showing you off’ was part of my plan for the night. Mostly though it was how much I could dress you up to my personal liking.” He grinned seductively at you, his lip darting out to lick over his lips and for a moment you forgot you were in public. You let yourself be kissed by the elf with open lips, your free hand digging into his doublet as the mood turned from your playful bickering to something other.

At least in the back of your mind a voice reminded you that you were very much publicly making out with Astarion. But then you remembered how you already had seen some couples very obviously sneak away to darker and deeper corners of the castle. If you were putting on a show for someone you were at least sure to blend right in with the crowd.

“And by any means, darling”, Astarion whispered to you as he broke the kiss but kept staring at your lips “keep drinking as much champagne as you like. You know people say it’s an aphrodisiac, right?” You blushed but couldn’t reply as the vampire pressed his lips to you again, one of his fangs shortly grazing your bottom lip and making you shiver.

“I’m not carrying you home though when you pass out”, he whispered when he broke the kiss again. You made a face at him although your head was still spinning from the kiss – also you were absolutely sure that he would carry you home if the need arose.

“I’m not carrying you home either, Astarion, just so were both on the same page here”, you replied and stuck your tongue out at him, then turned around. The vampire softly placed his free hand on the small of your back and softly lead you around the enormous ballroom.

You made to walk around the room for a little while, each just sipping on your champagne – Astarion now stealing naughty looks at you whenever you lifted your glass to your lips. Your partner had taken up some of his commentary from earlier as you walked around the room. Pointing out some people he knew and what their dirty laundry was as you kept drinking. Meanwhile the music and the dancing continued. Couples of all combinations entered and danced, those who left looked giddy and flushed. You were actually starting to feel excited to join them later on but for that you felt you had need of a few more glasses of champagne.

And as you were on your third and Astarion on his second glass you were suddenly approached with a subtle cough from the side as you were passing an open door that led outside.

As you looked over you saw a slender half-elf man with dodgy eyes looking at you. When you found his gaze, he cheerfully said: “Ah, you must be Lord and Lady Ancunín! Would you do us all the honours of maybe joining us for a while?”

He motioned towards a small group of people: a beautiful young tiefling woman just as slender as him but with incredibly sad eyes and blue skin that seemed to be his wife, another couple, human, consisting of a man with a bushy beard who seemed way too buff for his doublet and a woman with a dangerously deep neckline and several strands of pearls around her neck who was holding a very furry, small dog, and finally another seemingly a bit older half-elf woman with an incredibly tasteless headpiece with feathers.

You quickly looked at Astarion who looked at you and shrugged before he softly put his hand on your back again to lead you towards the strange little group.

Astarion softly whispered to you: “Remember, if you don’t feel comfortable just elbow them ‘on accident’”- he air quoted, lifting his hand from your back shortly – “and watch what happens before you leave.” You grimaced at him but felt thankful for his quip, nonetheless.

The slender one who had talked to you first introduced everyone while nervously running his hands through is sleeked back hair. You listened to all the fancy long names and titles and immediately forgot them again. But you were sure it didn’t matter anyway.

“Oh my, Lord Ancunín, how have you been hiding for so long from society, hm?”, the lady with the dog said and made eyes at your soulmate while letting one hand wander the rim of her deep cleavage, so obviously not hiding her interest in Astarion. Meanwhile, the dog on her other arm started to snarl and bark at the vampire excessively. The vampire rolled his tongue in his mouth and took a drink of his champagne as his eyes followed her hand riskily wander the outline of her breasts. You immediately felt anger rise up in you at her audacity. The grip on your glass tightened and you were sure your face must’ve immediately slipped.

You saw how Astarion’s nose softly wrinkled in disgust. His eyes jumped back to the lady and bored into her: “I haven’t exactly been hiding from society, I’ve just been otherwise occupied.”

You knew he was playing at being under Cazador’s thumb but dog lady obviously mistook his words. “Shame, really! If I had met you earlier, I would have eaten you right up, my dear”, she replied, chuckled and patted Astarion on the arm – the vampire’s nose scrunched up even more and you felt him tense beside you. He smoothly stepped out of her reach, she let her hand lay on the bare skin of her chest again and kept batting her eyelashes at him. The grip on your glass of champagne tightened even more as you felt like you had entered a den of wolves.

The rest of their little group giggled softly, obviously used to her insolent behaviour. Only the tiefling lady with the sad eyes kept simply drinking from her chalice and looking out longingly at the gardens bathed in silver moonlight.

You suddenly felt the urge to grab Astarion’s hand, so you did. You squeezed his hand reassuringly. He squeezed back a bit and lifted it up shortly to press a kiss to your fingers with a short glance towards you under the judgemental eyes of the rest of the group.

Meanwhile, the dog kept barking at the vampire. “Pomme de terre! Will you be silent for once!”, dog lady shrieked at her puppy and then shook him to silence him, much to your shock and disgust.

Astarion who had just then been taking another sip practically snorted into his glass. He lifted his chin and said with a vicious gleam in his eyes: “Vous avez nommer cet chien ‘pomme de terre’? Vraiment?” Your head turned towards him, brows furrowing – you hadn’t understood a single word of what he’d been saying.

But neither had anyone of the small group of nobles. The broad-shouldered husband of the one addressed simply coughed and emptied his drink. The rest threw each other looks that clearly stated their opinions about the two of you: scum.

“Vous êtes plus stupide que je l’imaginais, bravo!”, Astarion continued as he received only questioning looks in response again and took a deep swig of his champagne with a maliciously mocking grin. The dog kept barking and growling as the group threw each other confused looks once more. The owner of the dog looked definitely displeased by what she at least interpreted correctly as mockery at her expense.

As the silence dragged on, Astarion leaned over to you and quickly whispered to explain: “She called her dog ‘potato’ in another common tongue I am sure she does not know a single word off.”

Then he grinned at you, you grinned back. Of course, he’d be the one to know something like this and be able to call her out on it. You had to be honest: you loved it when Astarion showed off his vast knowledge, especially if it were others on the receiving end.

And you didn’t feel as intimidated anymore: they might think you were beneath them, but you knew they were beneath you – at least in terms of character.

Dog lady looked both of you up and down in a very judgemental way. Her husband motioned towards one of the servants, grabbing two glasses – one for himself and one for his wife who didn’t even look at him while taking the drink from him – and then patting the young man carrying the tray on the chest in thanks. Then silence spread again after Astarion’s mockery. Solely the dog kept barking and started to get on your nerves a little – but who could blame the creature with its bad luck in ownership.

Then suddenly a murmur started to rise through the crowd, especially inside, making everyone’s heads turn. At the top of the stairs stood a tall, blond man, elegantly dressed raising a glass towards the people who clapped and cheered. So, this was probably your mysterious host Lord De Grodt. You grabbed Astarion by his sleeve, but he was occupied with something else.

Astarion used the moment of commotion to bare his teeth and hiss at the dog who immediately stopped barking. He started to whimper and squirm in his owner’s arms, desperate to get away from what had revealed himself as the much bigger predator until the rude lady finally set him down and he could hide behind her skirts.

By the time Astarion had turned around the host had already disappeared again somewhere atop the gallery. The vampire looked quizzically at you but you just waved it off for the moment – you were already occupied enough with the nobles right in front of you.

The group started to talk again but explicitly left you out of the conversation now. Obviously, Astarion’s taunting had moved you down enormously on their list of interests – or rather him. It almost felt like you had been invisible for them from the start; not counting the very first mention.

The lady with the ugly feather headpiece started to talk about how her estate’s upkeep in Neverwinter just kept rising because personnel was just so expensive. She kept waving her hands around and you noticed she was wearing excessively big rings that were just as ugly as her hat.

You threw Astarion a glance who kept staring at the pretentious nobles and weren’t completely sure how to interpret his facial expression. You would have liked to leave but then again… You had overcome more mortal perils than you could tell, you surely wouldn’t shy away from some arrogant assholes. So you took another big sip of champagne and lifted your chin up while you let your free hand wander up Astarion’s back until it laid on his shoulder. He absent-mindedly covered it with his own as he kept staring at the others – his demeanour almost as if he were a cat focusing on the prey in front of him.

The lady with the feather headpiece noticed your gesture and looked at your joint hands on Astarion’s shoulder for a moment. Then her eyes suddenly jumped to yours with a glint in them you couldn’t quite place.

She spoke in a sudden outburst that halted all other conversation: “And so you must be the lord’s…”, she said and gave you a look that immediately gave you the feeling of being naked before her. You couldn’t help but feel intimidated yet again and stayed silent.

“I mean, I would have said wife because you were introduced as Lord and Lady but I didn’t see a ring on either of your hands and nowadays people would bring the staff they’re sleeping with.” She gave an absolutely over the top sort of laugh that made your hairs stand on end. The others joined in with mocking laughter: dog lady lifted her hand to cover her mouth and gave you a mean look. Even the tiefling gave a condescending snarl as you could feel yourself turn a deep shade of red. And you really didn’t like how it seemed the attention had now shifted to you.

“Yes, I mean, can you remember when Lord Levlon brought his ex-wife’s maid when she already had a huge belly? Nobody believed that had happened before the divorce!”, the skittish guy who had first spoken to you said and cackled.

“But don’t worry, my love, seems your beau still seems to be fairly interested in you – even though let’s see how long. Don’t take it personal but you don’t seem to be of the same standing as everyone else”, said feather hat. Your gaze snapped to hers as you felt you lost grip on the situation. They all suddenly seemed to close in on you.

“Men are so quickly captivated by a pair of young and perky breasts until they realise there’s no brain to go with the tits”, dog lady continued and placed her hand on her cleavage again and arched an eyebrow at you while smirking – as if that were the case for her.

“But do not be worried. If your lover here gets you knocked up, he’ll probably pay generous amounts of gold to keep you quiet and the child hidden”, skittish guy said with a vicious grin at you.

Astarion stared at everyone, his fingers over yours squeezing them as he was fuming with rage, almost hurting you.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say anything but rather that he didn’t trust himself to not rip them up in front of all the other guests if he dared so much as move a single finger. His brows were drawn together so much in anger, the wrinkle between them seemed impossibly deep.

“They always pay to cover up their shame”, beard guy said and downed the rest of his champagne in one go and waved for the young male servant again.

“It’s always the same, honestly”, dog lady sighed theatrically “the most beautiful ones only tend to think with their cock and the tacky little sluts seize the oppor-“

“STOP TALKING TO US LIKE THAT, BITCH!”, you screamed in a sudden outburst, burning with rage and before you could think better of it you threw the rest of your champagne in the face of this wretched woman. She gasped but was obviously dumbfounded by your short circuit reaction.

You knew your face must be fire red. You didn’t shout loud enough to raise your voice above the rest of the party, but people around surely started to raise eyebrows, turn their gaze and shake their heads.

“My, would you listen to the mouth on that thing”, the tiefling woman said with an incredibly disgusted face. The first thing she said since you had been standing there and it was to mock you. That finally made Astarion snap out of his blind rage enough to react.

The vampire downed the rest of his champagne then set down the crystal glass down so hard it cracked on the tray of the servant who had just come over and now awkwardly stood beside him and beard guy as the drama unfolded. The vampire let go of your fingers and your hand fell weakly to your side again.

“Oh, you should better fucking listen, indeed, darling”, he growled. “Because that’s quite the attitude for someone whose husband fucks a woman so tasteless, she wears dresses her tits almost fall out of”, Astarion continued and let his gaze wander to dog lady whose mouth immediately formed a surprised O.

The tiefling woman stared at Astarion in shock as her skittish husband became somehow even more skittish and started to open and close his mouth soundlessly like a fish and helplessly flailing his arms – confirming Astarion’s words without having to speak.

“Oh, you hadn’t known yet? Pity, maybe if you stopped staring off into the distance you would have noticed how they kept looking at each other and licked their lips”, the vampire went on with a huge and unfriendly grin now splitting his face. Then his gaze went back to the dog woman.

Meanwhile, your jaw almost dropped as you kept listening to him. More people around you started to turn around, some gasped as you had certainly become a centre of attention now. Murmurs rose around you.

“I wonder why though you felt like you needed to downgrade yourself so much. Ah, but maybe it’s because your husband so obviously has a thing for the male servers here and keeps making them uncomfortable with his gazes and touches”, Astarion snarled. The servant beside him gasped and then quickly turned on his heel and left.

The group was dead silent now. Only feather hat was snickering nastily. But then the vampire’s gaze fell on her: “Oh and don’t think you’ll leave as the gracious one here. The estate you pretend you’re owning in Neverwinter? It has been knocked down for decades. Maybe do better research if you’re only pretending to be rich. And get better replica rings, a blind person could tell you these are fake, dear.”

Now everyone was silent, you could only stare at your soulmate who had absolutely verbally decimated this group of pretentious nobles. But there was one final blow to be dealt.

“None of you seem to have a brain to go with anything, really – except for how much you all deserve each other’s vile company. Ah, and maybe some gold and a title that once meant something – but watch how quickly that turns to dust when you miserably rot alone”, Astarion finished with a hiss and cocked an eyebrow at the round before he gave a vicious version of his best signature smirk.

They simply stared at him as he then gave a curt but elegant bow and turned to you: “My sweet, beautiful, smart and wonderful darling, would you like to leave now? I fear we’ll only get dumber if we stay here.” He offered you his hand which you gratefully took and smiled at his compliments.

You both turned around to go back inside.

“You BITCH”, you heard as you walked away – followed by a loud smack and different screams of pain, shock and anger. More shouts and smacking sounds followed; you could hear the dog barking again. Seemingly a fight had broken out.

You didn’t look back, you just threw Astarion a glance who smiled at you wickedly. A mirroring smile slowly crept onto your face as you kept looking at your partner in crime.

“That was so much better than just elbowing them”, you said to Astarion as your wicked grin grew broader.

Tags: @aurasyn @margoteve @usuallyunlikelyfox @hollowmasque @worryknotdear

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x oc #astarion x you #fanfic #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #a night of fake smiles and hidden lies #tav #bg3

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afreakingdork · 1 year

Text

Weak Spot - Chapter 38

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Chapter art by the INCREDIBLE @garbagemilkshake

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Intercrural Sex, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello (TMNT), Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex

Synopsis: A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Warnings Below Cut.

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse and kidnapping

Please keep yourself safe.

“Okay.” Across from you, your ex-roommate, Coral, pressed her fingertips to the table.

From where you were sitting at the same wired structure, you glanced around the café without moving your head. She’d recommended getting coffee before officially hitting the farmer’s market and meeting up with the others. It hadn’t struck you as odd since your schedules hadn’t substantially sunk up since Donnie’s heat, but now, seeing her as ready as someone about to make a business deal, you were on edge. “Okay…?”

Your drinks hadn’t even arrived yet.

“First off, safe space. I already took your phone.”

“You-?” Hands flying down to check you found your left wrist empty. “Coral…”

“Your weird bracelet also wigged me out.”

“Coral!” You seethed, taking your turn at putting your hands to the table, albeit with more force.

“I know.” She flicked her gaze up to meet yours.

Seeing only severe honesty there, you wilted with a partial scowl. “You stole my shit. What do you mean safe space?”

“I want you to know he’s not listening in.”

“Who?”

She gave a heady sigh and took a languid look around. “Do you ever feel followed?”

That was a mounting concern, but not one you’d shared with her. “No.”

She passed you a glance in turning her head before sweeping a hand back through her unruly locks.

There was something telegraphed about the move that had you narrowing your eyes. “What was that?”

“All clear.” She responded easily.

Spine straightening, you spun around in your seat and combed the same area. At first glance, nothing was out of place, but as you started to examine the New Yorkers, you caught a glimpse of Kaleb from behind a newspaper. “They’re all here, aren’t they?”

“Yes, we set up a perimeter.”

“What the fuck!?” You snapped back to her so fast your body hadn’t quite caught up with the rotation. “What is this?!”

“It’s not-” Coal stopped and beamed a smile.

You soured knowing it was a café worker before they even spoke.

“Here’s your drinks! Let me know if you need anything else.” With a parting peppy voice, two ceramic mugs were set down on the table.

Coral scooped hers up and took a sip.

From where you’d unconsciously hunched over yours, you examined her through your lashes. All she needed was a hat, sunglasses, and a Parisian backdrop and she’d be something out of a travel ad. “Cor.”

She finished off a long gulp and set her mug back down on a saucer. “It’s not an intervention.”

“Explaining what it’s not doesn’t say anything about what it is!”

“I just want you to know you’re safe.”

“I don’t feel like it! You took my phone and-” You stopped short and bit down on a grimace. You’d never even named your tech gauntlet and now certainly wasn’t the time to start. “-my bracelet. Do you know what a huge invasion of privacy that-?”

“I need you to know he’s not listening in.”

“Who!?” The only person who could was S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and he had your full trust. More often than not these days, he rarely tapped in unless you gave him a signal or your vitals indicated something.

“I passed it off after we ordered. Nels has it and he’s the furthest away.”

“You’re…!” You felt crazed. Wild eyes looked through the reflections of the café window. “I know you’ve messed with my shit a lot over the years and I should have put my foot down, Coral, but this is-!”

“I know.”

Her harsh words cutting straight through to your core caused you to give an exhausted slow blink. Coming open you took a sip of your drink and spoke against its rim. “The others wouldn’t be playing along without good reason.”

“There you are.”

“I didn’t go anywhere.” You grumbled, finishing a swig. Coming down, you clanked your mug. “So not an intervention. What then? You’re acting like I died.”

“You almost did.”

“This again, Coral, I already explained-!”

She slapped the metal of the table so hard your hand shot out to stabilize your mug.

She let hers slosh. “I’m going to come right out and ask; I just want you to take a moment and not react right away when I do, fair?”

You stared at her and threw a helpless hand up. You let it gesture to go ahead before it fell back to the metal with a plop that stung.

“Has Donatello hurt you?”

She hadn’t needed the warning.

Even without her input, you would have slowed.

Giving a sigh, you propped an elbow to the table and fiddled with your mug’s handle.

This wasn’t the first time she had brought this up. During the multiple times you’d come home bruised and battered, she’d hinted heavily that she thought it was his fault. In the many ways you’d twisted it, they’d all been believable enough and she’d let the whole thing lie. The change that must have recently cinched it for her was your withdrawal. Seemingly out of nowhere, in her eyes, you’d stopped hanging out with the group as a whole. Cursing the blue idiot who’d pushed you to do so you shook your head. “No.”

Coral didn’t move a muscle, but it was clear she didn’t believe you.

“Cor-”

“Then who?” Her voice was hindered.

“I told you-”

“You told me something, but that wasn’t the truth, was it?”

Looking away would admit guilt, so you closed your lips around circling the same excuse.

“I just…” She broke first, gaze shooting away with a flash of picked at wounds. “It’s not me. I have to believe that; that it’s not that you don’t feel comfortable in telling me, so what then? There’s something preventing you from being honest. This all started when he came around so it has to be him. That’s why I got the phone away and that weird communicator; in case he’s listening.”

How’d she know you could communicate with it? “He’s not.”

“Then why?” Her gaze returned with glistening eyes, but she buried them to drain her mug. Slamming it down, she regained her cool and steadied her shaking fingertips in straightening ceramic. “Sorry, guilt’s not a way to go about it. I’m supposed to make you feel safe; sorry about that.”

It wasn’t new.

You’d never once missed her worry.

She was obvious about everything she did.

What struck you in that moment was the separation.

You’d forgotten that since moving out, she didn’t have the same access to you.

What she’d gotten instead were bits and pieces filtered through digital means. You’d gone from living together to barely seeing each other where life interfered. The worries she had already had must have rotted her away in that time. She didn’t have the same reassurances of seeing your highs. It’s not like you took to a messenger to scream when you were living it up. Being immersed in elation was often done in the moment. It was when you were down and lonely that you reached out. It perfectly coincided with your hike of messages. You’d stopped going out the same time you tripled your online presence. It indicated something she had no way of knowing.

All her messages asking how you were took on a new light.

“I won’t… do anything.” She gave a chuff that looked like it hurt. “That’s saying something, but I swear I won’t. If we need to get you away, we have a whole smuggling plan that’s admittedly half baked. He may be a mutant, but there’s way more of us.”

You softened sadly.

She took the look with a nervous flick over your features and stumbled on. “You might feel trapped, but I want you to know that’s not the case. We’re all here for you. I didn’t bully everyone… mostly. Okay, I bullied them a little bit, but you know they wouldn’t let my ass have free reign.”

You nodded.

“What I’m trying to say is… and I’m not trying to read into things, but that look kinda makes it seem like there’s no other way, but there is. I need you to hear that there always is.” She turned up the bearing of her soul to stare into your eyes.

You had to tell her.

At this point, why hadn’t you?

She was crazy, but she also loved you.

You loved her.

You probably would have needed to assemble your friends the same way to break it to her though.

That was just her nature.

“Coral.”

She nodded, clearly wanting to spew more of her research, but kept a tight lip.

“I haven’t been honest with you and I want to say it was for good reason, but right now… seeing you like this… I’m not so sure…”

Her fingers squeezed her mug handle.

You reached out and laid your hand out on the table, palm upright.

Her appendage dropped right into it.

You squeezed, once for reassurance. “It’s my turn. I’m going to say something and you’re going to wait before you respond.” The second constriction was to drive your point home.

She scoffed, but there was a warbled quality to it before she gave a nod.

“Two of the times were Donnie, but not in the way you would think.” You had to look away as nerves reared their heads.

Even if you had decided to explain, that didn’t mean you weren’t mortified by the prospect.

You were as sex positive as the next person, but society's shame ran deep.

She pinched your index finger to alert you that she’d heard.

The fact that she was holding back spoke volumes.

Returning your gaze, your bottom lip curled.

“The… first time, early on? When I was having trouble walking…?”

She was watching you with open intention, taking everything in earnest.

You wanted to bury yourself in a hole. “Ugh.” Lowering your head you reached your free hand up to rub your temples. “Just say it.” You brought your head up and mustered courage. “There’s a learning curve to human-mutant sex that neither of us accounted for.”

Though her eyes were still trained on you the same way, they seemed to lose their luster.

“I wasn’t hurt, but I did… need to heal…” Your teeth flashed as your anxiety fizzled out.

“You literally couldn’t walk.”

That had two connotations. “Yeah…”

“I know I pestered you about his dick, but… come on!”

You let her hand go and shook it out as if she burned you. “There’s more, can you not… get into that so soon!?”

“Is it more sex stuff?”

“Coral!”

“Eugh! It is!!” She laughed, threading her digits into knots of metal. “I mean, get it, but I was worried over that!?”

Your palms were pressing into your lids before you realized it. “There’s more. Can you-!?”

“You’re right, you’re right. Your humiliation fuels me. Keep going.”

“The second injuries… are harder to explain so let’s wait, but I will say they are not from Don at all, okay?”

She nodded.

“The most recent…” With your lips still parted a weird noise came out like a creaking door. You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth to silence it before trying again. “That was the worst one, right? I disappeared. Car crash… my dead… relative…?”

“I could smell that bullshit a mile away considering you didn’t immediately know which.”

“I thought you were being a little too cool about that…” You gave an awkward laugh.

As if to scorn you for even trying to inject comedy into the situation, Coral folded her arms.

“To be fair, this was totally new for Donnie too. None of us knew this was going to happen.”

She arched her brow. “Quick question.”

You were almost thankful for the small reprieve. “Yeah?”

“Us makes it sound like there’s someone else.”

You shrank a little in your seat. “There… uh… is…”

Her brow only rose higher and seemed to cause her head to tilt with the weight of it.

“Another shelf, just temporarily… When I start to explain it, it’ll come together-” The reality of the content begged to differ, but you had to force that sense away. “So Donnie… well… he went into heat.”

“Like a dog.” She spoke without missing a beat.

“Not… not like a dog…?” You squeaked out, hating that you’d used a double negative.

There wasn’t a trace of anything you could glean from Coral’s features.

“It lasted roughly 8 total days and you can kinda… guess… what… happened…”

“No.”

You rose to look at her, sheepish, until you saw her expression.

“What I know is I couldn’t fucking get ahold of you. Threats that you were dead and you’re sitting here, telling me you were just getting fucked?”

You bobbed with a reflexive tightening in your thigh. “Y-yeah… I didn’t….”

“Didn’t what?!”

“If we move to the second time-”

“I don’t think we’re done with this one!”

“Coral…”

“No, don’t say my fucking name. What the fuck are you even saying right now?! Do you know how worried I was?!”

You could only quiet.

“You couldn’t message?! I was stranded!! My bank locked me out and then I couldn’t get a hold of anyone! You know the only person I could!? Your stupid fucking boyfriend! Why couldn’t you!?”

“That wasn’t really…”

“That wasn’t…!” She stopped short, stooping over the table. “Who’s the third person?”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N… sort of… interfered.”

“Who the fuck is Sheldon?!”

“Donnie’s… son…?”

“His…” She blinked wide and looked around as if there might be cameras even though she’d set this whole thing up. “He has a son now! Wow!”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. isn’t… exactly what you… might be picturing…”

“What the fuck does that mean?! What does any of this mean, Y/N!?”

People around were starting to stare.

You didn’t care.

She certainly didn’t.

She never did.

“Coral, Donnie is…”

“I knew he was fucking weird, but it seemed like he genuinely loved you, but right now I’m second guessing relying on that! Who the fuck can live off love!? That’s literally a thing! You can’t!!!”

“Donatello is a villain.”

Coral came to a statuesque halt with both hands raised at different heights like a scale.

You gave your mug a cursory push knowing full well you’d never get to enjoy the rest of your drink.

Coming down for her was similar to breaking free of Medusa’s magic. Cracks of hardened rock flaked off as her arms wobbled down. Catching fingers on the table to prevent a complete fall, she hung her head just enough so she could still watch you.

There you saw the flurry of math flying around her head before the equation came out, solved for x. “He’s the Lilac Lunatic.”

You gave a faint nod.

Stupid monikers.

There was no end to them.

“Ha…” She managed a single laugh before falling back into her seat so hard it came off two of its legs. “He’s a… He’s a…” She wasn’t stammering.

Your head started to bob in time.

“What isn’t he!? Fuck, Y/N! Do you know-?” Distress filtered through a broken sieve and soaked her. “You know exactly how bad it is.”

You continued to nod, now rocking.

“You’re still together.”

You were almost seasick.

“You said… ‘is’ as in he still is?”

Capsize was imminent.

Something changed.

You felt it in the air and it was enough to stop you from shaking.

Across from you, Coral seemed pained. She gave a bitter sigh before offering her hand on the table the same way you had. She couldn’t bring herself to watch, but you deposited your appendage the same way she did.

She continued the mimic with two squeezes.

One reassuring, one viscous.

You told her everything.

The tale was condensed and instead filled in the spaces that had been seen or misconstrued for her. Coral interrupted several times with bitter remarks, but was able to shove herself back into line without much complaint from you. You didn’t try to convince her; she was always going to make her own conclusions. You simply told the truth. No matter what the outcome was here, you were at least sure of one thing: you weren’t leaving Donnie.

It didn’t make you worry any less as she started to grow more silent as the tale went on. You hoped it was simply shellshock, but with Coral anything was possible. Catching up with the present and having just shared your worries about when Leo might show up again, your ex-roommate gave a faraway nod. She then scrubbed a hand down her face and looked out across the street. It was where Kaleb was, but she hadn’t thrown any obvious cues that she'd alerted him of anything. She instead seemed to be processing and swept to you after such a long time that you’d almost forgotten you were waiting. “You weren’t abused at least.”

You had to laugh. The air had been so thick; the absurdity caused you to giggle as if inhaling gas. “Nope.”

“What the fuck!” She drew out the plosive and tossed her head back to look at the sky. “You’ve been dealing with all that, alone?”

“Kin…da…? It wasn’t always lonely. There were times though.”

“Yeesh!” She hollered and then came down. “I’m… gonna have to think about all this.”

You gave a sharp nod.

“You love him though, like a lot?”

“Absolutely.”

“How much?”

“The ‘spend the rest of my life with’ kind.”

Coral blew out a breath and came back with a lopsided grin. “He treats you good?”

“Oh yeah, he’s terrified of losing me.”

“ Keep it that way.” She tapped her mug twice. “Ugh, I need ice cream. You’re buying now that I know you aren’t hurt.”

“Hey!”

“What?!” She stood and loomed over you. “Want to talk back!? After all the lies!?”

You shrank down and shot your gaze away. “No…”

“That’s what I thought.”

“About the others…”

“We’ll tell ‘em one day, not soon.”

“You… sure?” You took a step out following where she’d freed herself from the table. “Wouldn’t that prolong the lie? I was ready for this to be a whole day reveal.”

“I personally can’t handle that much honesty, so let’s stick with just us. They’ll survive.” She did a half moon sweep. “If we aren’t 100% sure about each of them, Donnie might end up with like 12 life sentences if what the tabloids said he’s done are true.” Head barely towards you, she peeked out the corner of her eye to see.

You gave a zippy nod that you hoped conveyed you weren’t alright with his transgressions.

“Geez, that dick must be something.”

“That’s not why!” You huffed. “I regret telling you about the sex more than lying!!”

She barked with laughter.

Clicking your tongue, you headed towards Kaleb with her trailing behind.

“I-I-” She choked, wiping her eyes. “I wanna meet your kid though.”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna make him pay.” She cracked her knuckles.

Reaching your chill friend, you steeled yourself for reintroduction. “Good luck with that. Knowing him, he’ll want to meet you, no fear.”

“Plankton didn’t mess with him, did he?” Coral oozed menace even though she’d just threatened the party she was now defending.

“How are you guys talking about Spongebob?” Kaleb huffed, folding his paper under his arm like an old man.

“Because I’m safe and sound.” You chirped, coming to a stop with a rock of your body.

“Yes! Hug time!” Kaleb swooped in and picked you off of your feet before you could say anything.

Balanced against his belly, he spun you around before setting you down.

“I told you!” He released and pointed an accusatory finger at Coral. “My Colonel would never!!”

She backhanded his digit away. “Better safe than sorry.” She shot you a smarmy look.

“I’ll buy you ice cream!” You croaked.

“It went like that, huh?” Kaleb bobbed knowingly.

“Like what!?” Nels’ nervous voice picked up.

Others were filtering in, like your phone-obsessed friend, Eugene, who was aptly scrolling as he joined the foray.

Coral stalked around Eugene like a predator and leaped at Nelson who screamed in outright terror.

It broke the tension of the group and gave everyone the cue that things were good. It saved multiple conversations dragging the same point and everyone headed towards the farmer’s market. Having been at least an hour over from your appointed time, the stalls were gaining various lines. Splintering off near immediately as people didn’t want to lose their spots, you joked at how the supposed meet-up was going well. You were scoffed at in a show of love that filled your chest with a warmth you imagined would last for days.

Stuck with Coral and her choosy nature, she kept dismissing stalls on a search for ice cream. Mourning your lost drink, you were peckish and losing patience with whatever she was looking for. She kept saying she’d know it when she saw it and you didn’t know that meant until she threw an arm out like a safety bar and it smacked you in the chest. “Hey!”

“This one! I want a Bomb Pop!” She pointed with glee.

“We could get that at any convenience store, why the hell would you want that from… here…?” Slowing, you took in the odd stall. Covered by a bright red tent, little aisles were set up to make it look like a bodega, except it was outside. “Why…?”

“It’s funny.” Coral chuckled. “You get the popsicle and whatever else you want and I’ll get you a drink from there.”

Following her thrown thumb, you saw a fancy drink place touting local ingredients straight across from the convenience store stall. “Okay, whatever…” You shook your head and the two of you parted.

Winding around cereal and Chef Boyardee, you tried to figure out who this particular stall was catering to. The nearest bodega was certainly only a couple blocks away at most so setting up something like this for whatever price the spot cost seemed ludicrous. Winding around one alley, you spied the shopkeep who could not care less about your existence. You ignored him all the same as you followed a line to where an ice cream cart was sitting in the back part of the stall. Further confused by its existence as you were sure you had seen it near Central Park, you rolled your eyes as you cracked it open.

Pleasantly cool air rushed out and fought against the summer heat. Sticky, but not miserable, you had once planned to fend this exact weather off by arriving at an early hour. Now you were in for discomfort and could only hope Coral got you something iced. Knowing she might very well not for kicks, you debated getting her the wrong iced treat. Also aware that you wouldn’t hear the end of it, you grabbed her popsicle along with a couple other options for your friends. Coming up from the ice box with chilled fingers, you heard several products fall and then a shout that made you fumble your pile.

“What did I tell you!?”

“S-sorry!”

Turning curiously, you watched as a red and green figure rose, towering above the aisles.

“And don’t you go tell your friends I was mutant-phobic! Word travels fast! Just like how I’ve heard how that tail of yours has been wreaking havoc all day!”

“Yessir. Sorry, sir.” Stepping out even though he was already clearly visible, you saw a bundle of spikes.

Going limp, all your ice cream hit the floor.

“No! What is going on? You pick those up!!” You could hear a slam as the shopkeeper smacked his counter.

“Raph.” You whispered to the air.

Said turtle had his tail bunched up in his arms. Errant spikes from it caught his hoodie where it seemed his daggered arms had completely shredded the sleeves. Crouched down in baggy basketball shorts with compression leggings underneath, he looked more ready for the gym than trying to gather all too small cans of cat food. “Uh… Hey, Y/N…”

“Wha…?” Your arms wouldn’t obey.

None of your body would.

You had never been this close to him.

He was unreasonably large.

He had to dwarf Donnie by at least a foot.

It wasn’t fair.

“Pick those up or I’ll report you!!!” The shopkeep roared.

Animated by nothing, you dropped to a squat and started to grab the ice cream. Raph appeared, done with his task and attempted to grab the furthest treat. It caused you to halt with curled fingers in fear of touching him. He didn’t seem perturbed and instead offered, “Sorry for scaring ya.”

“What are you doing here?” You hoisted your armful up and away from him.

“Ya know!” He quacked a little too loud. “Looking for ar-tisanal goods! I’m so into that and it’s totally not just Mikey’s thing!”

You stared at him flatly and turned to march straight toward the register.

You could hear Raph’s heavy steps chase you.

Shooting you both dirty looks, the man rang you up while muttering loudly about people messing up his shop. Only thinking how dumb that was since he had set up amongst the elements, you saw him package up all he had before he turned an annoyed look beside you. “Buddy, I don’t have all day!”

“Yeah, got it.” Raph responded and, from this proximity, you could hear the wane in his apologetic attitude.

The big guy had a limit.

Passing over the ice cream he’d gathered, the shopkeeper then turned a screen toward you so you could see the total. You went to get your wallet when you saw green extend beside you. Looking out of the corner of your eye, sweat cropped as you measured that Raph’s fist was larger than the whole of your head.

With a snatch, the shopkeeper stole a bill from green fingers.

“For startling you.” Raph said simply, watching the man with more patience leaking out from him by the second.

“No receipt.” The shopkeeper snapped before pinching the edges of a sack. You held a hand out to take it, but he dropped it early so it would plop on the counter.

Slighted by all means, you grabbed it and stomped out of the stall.

Heavy steps continued to follow you.

“What’s the plan here?!” You spun around and watched as a turtle nearly twice your size jolted like you’d scared him. “You gonna join up with my friends?! Hang out!?”

“No.” He got out with closed eyes before looking down at you with a battered expression. “That wasn’t the plan.”

You needed to keep your eyes on him, but at the same time you desperately had to look for Coral.

She had to see you.

It’s not like you weren’t standing next to a Statue of Liberty look alike.

Trying to strain out your periphery, you didn’t see her messy locks at the drink stand.

“Why can’t you just leave us alone!?”

Raph looked struck by your words and then softened apologetically for the second time.

“What did you do with my friend!?”

“Y/N, listen…” Raph’s hands came up.

“No!!” You took a step back, readying to swing your ice cream as the only weapon you had. “I’m tired of this! I’m tired of living in fear! You’re fucking stalking me and I didn’t do a damn thing!! Leave me alone!!!!”

Raph’s eye darted. “Y/N, you need to be quiet… I was hoping we could chat…”

“Fuck you!” You swung your bag and Raph took a step back to dodge it. “I’m not going anywhere with you!!!”

“You need to be quiet. People are taking notice.” Raph’s head was in motion.

“Uh duh! I want them to notice! I’m calling stranger danger!” Chancing it, you spun around and saw nothing but a blur of faces. Their whispers reached you, but not a single one was familiar.

There were six of you.

Where had your friends gone?

“I’m not saying this for me.” Raph spoke, stern, and took a step forward.

You screamed and swung your bag again, but it disappeared into a disc of glowing blue light.

Your stomach dropped.

“Told you.” Leo huffed to your right.

Color fading with your blood pressure, you turned to nothing. Carried by intuition, your gaze rose to find the blue turtle sitting on the point of the stall cover as if it were any old bench. Contrasting his brother, his crisp blue jeans popped against the red and a simple white tee was covered in a brown bomber jacket. Tipping his head down to see you over his aviators, his blue ball cap shaded him from the sun.

“I had it. You just can’t wait one second, can you?” Raph turned his scorn toward his brother.

“Was it going to be before or after the police were called?” Leo folded his hands on top of the sword hilt held in front of him.

“Before! Clearly!” Raph’s arms mirrored the movie without a weapon.

“Whatever, April got the jammer going anyway.” Leo rolled his eyes to stand. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah.” Your voice was too damn small. “Go.”

Leo lit up and then leaped into the air. Losing him to the harsh sunlight, you winced until there was a loud slap of him landing on the concrete between you and his brother. You stumbled backward as he came up with his swords dangling by his sides. “I think you misunderstand.”

Staring at the near manic expression on Leo’s face, you turned to Raph with one of incomprehension. “You can’t mean…! Not with me? You can’t seriously think I’ll go with you?!”

Leo twisted a sword and thrust his hand through a newly formed portal. Before you could register what was happening, he snatched up your bag and brought it to him.

“This is what I was trying to tell ya.” Raph caught Leo’s shoulder and yanked him with crinkling plastic. “You have a choice!”

“In what?” You squawked.

“Were you gonna eat all this yourself?” Leo peaked in the bag and let his brother shove him further out of the way.

“We can talk, you and me, or we do it Leo’s way.” Raph explained.

“Oh sweet, Rocket Pop! Dibs!”

“That’s not-!” You hissed.

“Yours!” Raph scolded, snatching the bag away and pinching Leo’s arm from where he was trying to rummage through it.

“Sheesh!” Leo rubbed the spot and sauntered away like it was his idea.

“Here.” Raph held out the bag.

“Why?” You didn’t move.

“It’s… yours…?” Raph wondered with a creased brow.

“No, why do I have to talk to either of you? Why is it a decision? I don’t owe you anything.”

Raph’s canine appeared as he sucked in sharply. Digging into his lower lip, he opened and closed his mouth twice before continuing. “We’re concerned.”

“You are or he is?” You spat with a flick of your gaze to Leo.

The blue turtle was perusing cereals and only bobbed his shoulders at the mention of his name.

“We…” Raph winced as if knowing what he was saying was wrong. “…decided as a group that based on the nature of your relationship…” He glanced at Leo and then back. “…which we’d find out… organically, that we’d have a few outcomes…”

“Do you hear yourself?”

“Oh, yeah!” Raph brightened. “Mind Raph is way too loud to ignore.”

You could only stare back and feel the way your lips were parted in disgruntled confusion.

“He’s no’rong.” Leo mumbled through a mouthful of cereal.

“Hey!!!” The shopkeeper shouted.

You sent a plea to the man which fell on deaf ears.

“Yeah, buddy, relax!” Leo swallowed harshly. “I was gonna pay! Ever heard of a hero’s discount? This city, I swear!” Stomping away, Leo entered the stall.

Raph rushed to close the space.

Your hands flew to your person where you drowned in a new sense of dread.

Coral still had your phone and tech gauntlet.

You weren’t sure it would have mattered based on the whole jammer thing Leo had mentioned.

Leo also lied.

Often and always.

Hands sliding down your hips in defeat, you were confronted by the girth and height of Raph’s form. “Ah!”

“No, no!” Raph held out the ice cream. “I can explain. I want to explain. I know how scary this all is. Please.”

You stared at the handles only imagining how Raph could enclose his fist around the expanse of your arm and meet the elbow.

“You do not want to do this Leo’s way.” Raph dropped his voice and shook the bag in time.

It was a move that struck you as a means to further cover his comment from sharp tympanum.

“What is his way?” You whispered back, knowing you didn’t have the same ability.

“He wants to-”

“Whatcha all talking about?” Leo appeared and you both jumped. “Tough crowd.”

“Why are you so damn determined to ruin the credibility of our team!?” Raph shouted suddenly. “We’ve been a cohesive unit for years and you’re throwing it away on obsession!”

The sincerity of Raph’s statement struck you, but you had no time to mull its significance as Leo grew dark enough to summon rain clouds. The weight of his blackened aura became so thick you thought you might suffocate on it. He then turned the brunt of that storm on his much taller brother, who seemed to dwarf under the weight of it. “Obsession?” Leo took a step forward where he was already too close. “Obsession. Me? You make it sound like I’m the only one who’s been here for the last two plus decades. For the death and the mayhem and the life threatening injuries and the fear of collapse and separation and rot! How we all rotted away!! How he poisoned each of us physically and mentally and how almost none of us fucking survived!!!!”

Leo jabbed a finger into Raph’s plastron and the red turtle wilted till he was nearly on his knees.

“That’s what I thought.” Leo kept his hand in place, but whipped his head around to you. “And now, he’s making a new move and everyone around me is acting like I’m the insane one when I know for a fact that this is a game. If we want to be players on the board. We need to grab the pieces.”

“T-there are people…!” Your voice shook and you listened.

Those whispers were still there.

People were still watching.

“You're just going to… what? Take me? In this crowd?”

“No.” Leo tipped his head and retracted his finger. He then shoved the box of cereal he’d bought into Raph’s chest for the red turtle to catch as he let go.

“There’s still a choice!” Raph snapped.

Leo took a commanding step towards you.

You tried to flee.

Your feet were cemented.

Looking down at them found that not to be true.

Nothing was keeping you.

By the time your gaze came back up, the blue turtle was upon you. “Did you want to talk to Raph?”

“You’d need to leave.” You tried to sound forceful, but there was something unhinged looming in him.

“Do you-” Bending at the waist, Leo’s head came beside yours. “-choose Raph?”

“Yes.” You wanted to kick him again, but something told you he wouldn’t fall for the same stunt twice.

“Yo’ve got ten minutes.” Leo straightened and strolled away.

Ten minutes to stall until your friends finally took notice.

Raph stared after Leo with a furrowed brow and then glowered down at the cereal he now also had to hold. “Y/N.”

“Just stop.” You held up a hand that said the same. “Why is he in charge? I don’t know, but you seem… way more reasonable.”

Raph juggled his items to free up a hand which he used to scratch the back of his head. “He wasn’t… always. Dad decided when we were young.”

Dad?

“All I can say is he’s making us look way worse than we are. I’m not saying we’re great, but we usually do earn the hero moniker. This…” Raph brought the arm back around and used it to gesture a spiral into the air. “…is some kinda trauma.”

“I get that.” You wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Would you want to sit down…?”

“I want to move and stand in the very center of the market with as many people around as possible.”

Raph’s teeth flashed in a way that said this was the best he could do.

“We stay right here.”

He nodded.

“What did you do to my friends?”

“They were… lured away by free prizes.” Raph sighed.

“How…?” You shook your head. “You know what? I don’t want to know! Let’s wait out the clock and then I’m going to go.”

Again, his teeth made an appearance in the same way.

The snaggletooth might have been endearing under any other circumstance.

“What?” You snipped.

“We just need to figure out what’s going on.”

“Nothing!” You threw your arms out at where Leo had left. “You said it yourself! He’s obsessed! I told him there’s nothing! What did he tell you!?”

“That you and… Donatello were… dating.”

“Exactly! So, now you know!” You brought your hand in and then flicked a wrist at him. “Again!”

“That’s just kinda…”

“Unlikely! Yeah.” Venom dripped from your words. “I’ve heard that from just about every single person who knows Donnie, but you know what?”

Raph startled a little, but there was genuine curiosity in his gaze.

“They’re all wrong. He’s not that person anymore. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I don’t think he has since before me.”

Raph’s mouth opened with protest.

“I get it!” There was so much gusto in your shout that your feet planted. “He was bad, but you know what he does now!? He’s sweet! He remembers all my favorite foods, even the ones I’m pretty sure I never told him about! He’s caring! He bends over backwards to dote on me! He tries so damn hard! He messes up! He’s not perfect, but he tries! He’s a good partner and I want to leave here and go back home to him!”

Raph’s shoulders loosened.

“And I’m tired! I’m tired of having to justify our fucking relationship to you! Do you know what I just did!? I just told my ex-roommate everything! She’s a hundred times more unstable than you and somehow she took the news better! I just don’t get it!!!”

Plastic crinkling, Raph looked away.

“Is that good enough or do you need me to draw you up a fucking written version?”

“I want to let this go.” Raph spoke.

Though you’d paused on what was a clear rhetorical question, you weren’t prepared for him to answer.

“Trust me.” He shot you a heavy glance that said that and more. “More than anything, I want to put him behind us.”

His phrasing had you leaning back.

“It can be hard to understand. Unlike Leo, I don’t think you were fed a line, but there’s no way he told the story the same way.” In a shift, Raph looked at the snacks in his hand. “Sorry, gonna put this on the ground for a sec.”

You nodded, unsure of what was happening or why’d you stopped.

He set the snacks down with great care and then reached behind his head. There, he undid his mask and pulled it off. Though you had clearly seen the scarring pouring out from under it, there was something different about seeing his whole face.

Marred and twisted, his skin was warped by burns that had aged many years. They ate away at his cheekbone with green flesh singed with brownish rot. His right eye was puffed up around a milky pupil which spoke to the blindness there. “Do you mind if I tell you how I got this?”

“He… dumped acid on you…” You sounded like you were on the other side of the market.

Raph bobbed with attention. “Did he tell you why?”

“You…” Your gaze plummeted. “You tried to paralyze him.”

Raph let out a single loud chuff. “The scars on his legs?”

You nodded, assaulted by an odd shame.

“That happened a totally different time, Y/N. I made those scars trying to get him off Leo. I wasn’t trying to do anything other than stop him from killing my brother.”

You brought your gaze up to match his.

“Some kids were selling in Bushwick which was odd. I tracked ‘em back to their supplier and found a ring. The usual shootout started up, but you’ve seen my sai.”

You couldn’t respond.

“I was making my move when suddenly they all just… dropped.” Raph looked down, his good eye narrowing. “Like puppets without strings. I checked the closest guy and he was just… dead. Then came the burning”

You dug your nails into your arm.

“It’s pain like…” Raph shook his head and tied his mask back in place. “He used to have this laugh. Broken, loud… Cartoons don’t do it justice.”

“How…?”

Raph picked up the bag and cereal. “Hm?”

“How… old…” You forced yourself to look not knowing when you’d turned away. “…were the kids?”

“Fifteen. He had failsafes implanted in them. The kids, the dealers, the cooks, he killed them all to protect his assets or himself? Hard to say. I never really understood.”

The same age they were when they met.

When they started fighting.

“What happened… after?”

Raph walked over to you. “He left. It wasn’t about me or them. My best guess is my timing was terrible and he happened to be there picking up his money. I never saw him…” His head tipped. “Saw half as much after that, mostly a blur of gauze and skin grafts.”

Did you apologize?

“Hey.”

You looked up at him.

“I’m not telling ya ta feel bad. I know it sounds like it, but the story is kinda like that. I’m trying to give you perspective.” Raph knelt down onto one knee in front of you. “That was one time. Now multiply that by 20 years.”

You nodded, slowly.

“Leo’s scared. He’s more scared of Donatello then Krang Prime which if you’ve seen the guy is… something else.”

“Otherworldly.” You hated that you’d even said it.

“Yeah…” Raph held no resentment. “He’s stressed too. Me and Mike aren’t reacting how he wants. I’m never going to forgive Donatello, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the fighting and torment. If we can stay out of each other’s ways, I’m gonna take that in a heartbeat, but I don’t think Leo thinks he can stop worrying until Donatello is…”

“Gone.” The word sounded like a ghost.

Raph gave a nod, not wanting to give the poltergeist any more voice. “He blames himself for all of it. He’s like that; self sacrificing. His worst character trait is he doesn’t think he’s worth a thing without his family. That we define and give him worth. I don’t think he’s lived his own life because of it.”

“He…” You cleared your throat. “He’d hate that you were telling me this.”

Raph almost smiled and pointed to his bad eye. “20/320 and I can see him glaring at me right now.”

You gave a single humorless exhale.

“So… yeah.” Raph stood and held the bag out to you.

You took it. “What happens now?”

“You go back to your friends and I talk to Leo about what I know.”

“But I didn’t…” You glanced over the clearly melting ice cream and up at him.

Raph smiled with a lopsided grin. “Oh you did, yelled at me good.”

“There’s no way that was convincing.”

Raph shrugged his shoulders, but kept his smile. “I’m a good judge of character.”

“How does that convince Leo though?”

“What do you mean?”

“He already knows the deal. He’s not worried about me; he’s worried about Donnie.”

Raph opened his mouth to say something else, but Leo’s voice cut through the crowd. “Time’s up!”

You turned to him with heavy lids, bored of his shenanigans.

“Hey.” Raph greeted his brother, ignoring the dark aura Leo took with him. “Let’s get one of those juices you like and I’ll catch you up.” He shot you a quick wink. “I got intel you’ll want to hear.”

“I heard.” Leo was curt.

Raph’s hackles went up along with your own. “Leo…” He warned.

“We didn’t want to cause a scene.” Leo took a long way around you to end up near his brother. “No more screaming. No one’s watching. You did a great job throwing off the heat, big guy.”

Raph’s eye widened before he snapped his gaze toward you.

Struck by the fear there, it took you a moment too long to realize he wasn’t actually looking at you.

He was looking behind you.

“Sleep.” Mikey’s unmistakable voice whispered like it was coming from all angles. A thousand touches from Donnie helped you identify what were mutant turtle fingers brushing at the back of your neck. Anesthesia then ran through a drip without a needle into your veins. Drunken, everything began to warp. You could hear Leo counting backwards from ten as Raph yelled beside him. You fell with a blur of blue and a burn from the sun before night swallowed you whole.

I'd be toiling away in misery if it weren't for my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

#weakspotfic #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #donatello hamato #donnie x reader #rise donnie #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #me #fanfiction #my fanfiction

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onceuponastory · 1 year

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Him or him to steal you away for a summer getaway?

Can I not say both? Hahahaha. But. I'll say Mickey. He may be a bit of a mess, but he's fun. And thank you for the inspo, love! @holacia3 <3

Take Your Mind Off

Plot: When an argument between your friends looks like it'll spoil your holiday fun, Mickey is a welcome relief. Pairing: Mickey Henry x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and being drunk. If I miss any triggers, please let me know!

Perching on the beach bar stool, Y/N takes a sip of the fruity cocktail in front of her. As soon as the alcohol hits her senses, she sighs happily. After the eventful morning she's had, this is a welcome relief.

Things didn't start out so badly. Quite the opposite, actually. She and two of her friends are on holiday together, taking some time off from their busy working lives to relax on the beach and get away from it all for a while. And for the most part, they've had a great time together. Despite being drunk for most of it.

Unfortunately, it seems the heat and late nights have got to both of her friends, resulting in a huge argument between them both this morning. Honestly, Y/N doesn't even know what started it, probably some stupid, inconsequential thing. But now, neither of them are speaking to each another, and it's ruining the rest of the day. Y/N attempted to keep the peace without choosing a side, but the snide comments and hostile glares had become too much. There's only so much you can take before you want to rip your hair out.

And Y/N crossed that line a long time ago.

So, she told them both to stop being so childish, and that she was going to enjoy herself alone until they've calmed down... whenever the hell that is.

And now, here she is. Sitting alone, nursing a cocktail at a beach bar. It may be lonely, but at least she's not being pulled into any more arguments, and she doesn't feel like she's walking on eggshells anymore. Hopefully, she can start enjoying herself again now.

"Mind if I sit?" a voice asks, pulling her out of her daydream. When she turns, she meets the blue eyes of the DJ she and her friends saw last night. Completely unaware of the storm that was coming the next morning, the trio had a lot of fun and danced the night away. She wasn't expecting the same DJ to be standing beside her now. The first time she saw him, she thought he was insanely cute. Although she was pretty drunk by that point.

He looks even cuter now, up close, when she's more sober.

"Oh, yeah, sure!" Giving him a polite smile, she scoots over, letting him sit on the stool beside her. As he does, she notices the other seats surrounding the bar are empty. For a moment, her brow furrows. "There's so many places for him to sit... and yet, he chooses beside me?"

But she's not complaining.

"Something wrong?" He asks.

"Not at all." The man doesn't look like he believes her words, but thankfully doesn't press her.

"A beer for me, thanks, and another drink for the lady." He slides some money over to the bartender, before leaning back in his seat with a grin.

"Thanks for that." She roots around in her bag for some cash to pay him back, but he shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it. Can't let a pretty lady like you pay for her drink now, can I?" The heat on Y/N's cheeks deepens, and she stammers a thank you. Somehow, his presence is already starting to make her feel better.

"My friends and I saw your set last night." She tells him. "You were amazing." She holds herself back, trying not to sound too much like a crazy fangirl and scare him away before she gets to know him better. But the man simply chuckles.

"Thank you very much." He grins. "I'm glad to be of service." He holds out a hand. "I'm Mickey."

"Y/N." She smiles, shaking his hand.

He looks around, raising a brow. "So, if you don't mind me asking... where are your friends? Did they leave you on your own?"

"No. They wouldn't stop arguing, and I was getting fed up with it. So I gave them some space to cool down." Mickey nods. "We planned a day trip today, but obviously that's not happening." She sighs.

"Hey! Don't say that!" he insists. "Your day doesn't have to be ruined just because they want to spoil the fun. How about...." He grins, trailing off. "You come spend the day with me?"

His question stuns her into surprised silence for a moment, before she breaks into laughter. There's no way he can be serious. Surely he has better things to do than cheer her up.

But... would spending time with the cute DJ really be so bad? It's a lot better than the alternative, anyway.

"What?! I'm not joking! I live here, so I know the best places to go. And you deserve some fun today."

"Really? You wanna spend time with me? Surely there's more fun people than me you can hang out with."

"Doubt it. Besides, I enjoy spending time with you Y/N." She's not fully convinced, especially since they only met a few minutes ago, but her stomach still flutters all the same. And like she said, it's a lot better than hanging out here alone, waiting for her friends to make up.

"Okay." She nods. "Let's do it."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Please follow my library blog @onceuponastory-library and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

#holacia3 #mickey henry #mickey henry x reader #mickey henry x female reader #fanfiction #fanfic #monday sebastian stan

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broomsick · 1 year

Text

Using music in pagan practice! · ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Why hello there! Any music enthusiasts in the room?

I’ll be completely honest with you all, I’m not such a huge music fan. Of course, I still listen to a lot of music. I don’t think any human being could survive without it! And yet, it’s not like it’s much of a passion for me, as compared to many others I know. However! It’s become such a huge part of my practice that I couldn’t help but write a little post on the topic. Music has such a hold on emotions and mood that it’s extremely useful and feels very personal once it becomes part of your spirituality. Now, how can one do such a thing? I’d wager some of you are already experienced in this, and do already consciously use music in their practice. But for those who don’t, allow me to share my tips!

I’ve talked about this before, but chanting is a very fun habit to develop as a pagan. It can be trance-inducing, and help you get into a meditative state that’s perfect for praying, connecting to your deities, engaging in divination and the like. A chant doesn’t have to be particularly “musical”, granted. Almost half the time, mine aren’t anywhere near sung. Nevertheless, I find it especially efficient and calming when the chant follows a beat, and even a melody. In my experience, it feels a lot easier to empty one’s head and to get into a spiritual mood when I’m singing something repetitive. It’s possible to model the chant off a familiar song, lullaby and the like, or even just to choose a certain beat for the word/phrase to be chanted.

Music in and of itself, even if there's no chant or the like present, can come in handy in the context of prayers, rituals, and other pagan practices. When I am especially tired, or I just somehow feel unable to chant due to mental exhaustion, I simply put some calming music on and this is a major help when I mean to connect with my spirituality. It's a way to create an atmosphere, and to disconnect myself from daily worries and the like, at least for the time of the prayer/offering. For a long time, I simply could not fall into a meditative state without background, "nordic"-type music. I've had a handful of people ask me for tips on how to meditate, or connect with their spirituality, and this has always been my number one tip. This goes without saying, but music has quite the powerful effect on the brain and by extension, the mood. It's not to be underestimated! And yes, even modern music that may not seem especially spiritual. Whatever makes you feel at peace is already perfect for such spiritual use.

It’s also possible for you to sing, or play songs as a kind of offering. There's a special kind of connection that develops with a deity when you decide to devote yourself to learning a song for them. You painstakingly learn the lyrics and practice it again and again, all in their honor, which makes for a beautiful devotional (no matter who the deity is!). Plus, this is just my personal experience, but singing, or playing a song, is a great outlet for emotion. In this sense, within the context of a festival, ritual or even just a prayer, it establishes quite the strong emotional connection with the deity. It can help you to let out your love/admiration for them, and to share it a way that's deeply personal. Something I've noticed is that when I have not connected with this or that deity in a while, singing a song for them as an offering always seems to make me feel as close to them as before instantly! To all of you who have a knack for writing, it's even possible to compose your own song, no matter how short and no matter the genre! I know people who have written beautiful, entrancing songs for their deities, by simply pouring their emotions and heart into the lyrics and melody. And it doesn't matter if you don't feel like the song is perfect, because the effort and love you'll have put into it makes for a great offering in and of itself. Artists are always too critical of their own works, aren't they? And in this case, I'll be willing to bet any deity would adore receiving such a personal gift!

Now, something that I've seen become super popular in the past few years is making devotional playlists. Do I even need to explain this one? It's a super fun activity to engage in. What I find is that pondering songs, their vibe and their lyrics, and finding parallels between them and your deities can help you a great deal with actually picturing the deity. This is something that's inherent to neo-paganism and its individualistic nature: our understanding of different deities can vary vastly from one individual to the next. Which is why it's not only fun, but also quite fulfilling to develop one's idea of a deity. By defining a certain type of song that seems to fit them, or a pattern in the lyrics that you associate with them, you ask yourself questions. How are they as a deity? What is something they stand for? What does their presence feel like? What sort of music would they like and why? The answers to these will naturally arise as you explore the emotions evoked by certain songs, and those evoked by your chosen divine presence. Deepening your understanding of a deity is a great way to feel connected to them, though it might seem simple. But aren't simple things often the most effective?

#norse paganism #heathenry #paganism #polytheism #deities #deity work #music #spirituality #norse gods #personal #tips

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cyberrat · 2 years

Text

69th Batch Of Fics: 1st Fill

Hanzo + Pokémon – CYOA interlude – Part 1/5 – Hanzo gives his Pokémon a day in a spa/amusement park.

My fwiend asked for a few comfort fics in the CYOA-verse. The CYOA (Choose Your Own Adventure) is over on my patreon channel but I think it should be easy enough to understand without the context.

---

Hanzo thoughtfully looks at the large gate signaling the entrance for the Pokémon spa. The area behind it looks like pure wilderness but he figures there must be some kind of facility further in.

Kikuri, his Salandit, is squirming in his arms, obviously eager to get out and in there. Honestly, he is surprised she hasn’t started scratching him yet.

He turns around, looking at the rest of his team. His Gyarados, Zeus, is repeatedly flaring the small fins at his head and growling low which draws a few nervous gazes from the other Pokémon trainers.

King snorts and digs his hoofs at the ground, not happy that he isn’t the center of attention, and Goomy just looks… nervous. In general. With his life situation and everything, probably – Hanzo hasn’t quite figured him and his anxieties out yet.

Maddox, his freshly evolved Midnight Form Lycanroc, sits dangerously close to one of the spa’s trashcans and he figures they should get a move on if he doesn’t want him starting to rummage around in it for some snacks. His appetite had been through the roof since his evolution.

“Well,” he says finally, clearing his throat. “If you guys would like a spa day, I think we can arrange that. As long as you can behave.”

He has to lean out of the way of one of Kikuri’s claws swiping at him after all.

After his team enthusiastically makes it known that they indeed want to have a day in the spa, he makes his way over to the entrance.

.oOo.

“Wonderful, that would be all. If you would give each of your Pokémon these colored tags and keep this communication device at your person at all times, so our staff may contact you if there were any need?”

Hanzo nods, quietly murmuring a thanks as he awkwardly juggles all the items that the receptionist has shoved over the counter at him. The tags are mostly ribbons which he can stretch out to fit around the neck of each of his Pokémon so they would be easily recognizable as being a part of his team.

“That would be all. The park is yours for twenty-four hours. We will meet here again tomorrow at this time. Stay safe and… don’t do anything violent.” His eyes flick toward his Salandit as he says that, though she is already wobbling toward Goomy to assume her seat on his head and make him carry her around for the rest of the day probably.

Hanzo sighs softly, giving each of his Pokémon a gentle pat and watching them slither, run, and fly away.

Standing there all on his own, he feels rather… lonely. It’s been a long while since he last wasn’t accompanied by at least one Pokémon. He can’t even see King’s glittering gray fire any more, though he supposes he just needs to follow the throngs of people wanting to have a look at a Shiny to find him.

After a moment of gathering his bearings, Hanzo clips the communication device to his belt to make sure he wouldn’t miss it if he was being contacted, and starts to slowly make his way along the initial path of the spa. There are tons of trainers walking with him or coming from the direction they’re heading to, all alone after they had been pretty much abandoned by their Pokémon.

It’s a bit of a weird vibe as none of them seem to know what to do with themselves, empty Pokéballs sitting in their pockets, but Hanzo finds that it is certainly a bit comforting to know that he isn’t the only one. And his team is going to have fun today. He could have some, too.

Soon enough the huge main building comes into view. He is sure they have a wonderful cafeteria. It’s been a while since he last ate a nicely prepared, warm meal.

.oOo.

He is at the end of his coffee after his meal, thinking about finding himself a spot in the sun to doze a little, when the communication device he’s put on the table of the cafeteria softly beeps.

Hanzo eyes the device, seeing a light blinking steadily, and another beep. Figuring someone is trying to contact him, he sighs deeply and pushes the button.

“Hello?”

“Mister Shimada?”

His insides curl a little in on themselves. Oh, what did they do this time…?

“Yes?”

“Do not be alarmed, but if you would come to training facility F and take a look at your Salandit? We think it might be having a cold or somesuch.”

He frowns a little but does immediately get up. “Of course. I’ll be there in a moment.”

.oOo.

The staff is, in fact, correct. The warmth radiating off of Kikuri is different than usual; it feels more sickly and uneven as he picks her up from the corner she has sat herself into. Instead of swiping at him or immediately complaining that her play time has been cut short, she uses her sharp little claws to pull herself up his chest and around the back of his neck where she comes to lie with a little, exhausted huff like a dry, warm hand towel.

Hanzo sighs softly and touches her bald little head before leaving her be. He’s been around enough sick Pokémon during his time in Hanamura to know when to be worried and when not. He is suitably sure that a day or two of simply resting will get her back into shape sooner or later.

He had not anticipated having a companion today but he is grateful for it. Loneliness doesn’t sit well with him. It makes him get too much into his head; especially after he’s spent the past few months pretty much joined by the hip with his Ponyta-come-Rapidash and King’s larger than life personality has become such a constant in his personal space that suddenly not having him close anymore, be it in person or in a Pokéball at his hip has been rather… weird.

“So… where did you leave your trusted steed?” he mutters half to himself, not anticipating Kikuri to give him an answer one way or the other – and she doesn’t. She just tucks her snout against his neck and breathes uncomfortably hot fever breath down the front of his shirt.

He carefully puts his backpack back on and looks about the training facility. It’s a kind of jungle gym with a cacophony of Pokémon calls as all kinds of species play with one another. Still, it does not take long for him to spot Goomy; the Pokémon is an Alpha after all and his size means that he sticks out of every scenery like a sore thumb.

Hanzo is about to go to him to make sure he’s fine but pauses just after a couple of steps as he sees that he is, in fact, playing with other Pokémon. Baby Pokémon, to be exact.

It shouldn’t be a surprise, given how timid Goomy is, but it still has him pull his brows up in intrigue as he watches Togepi and Bonsly and Happiny dancing around him, crawling up his soft, slimy body and bouncing on top of his head or sliding down his back.

In fact, he’s never seen him look so happy and content. It’s enough to have Hanzo decide not to approach him after all. He should just enjoy his day off and not feel like his trainer is keeping tabs on him.

It’s also good to see that the training back with Reinhardt seems to have born fruit and sent him on his way toward being a more confident Pokémon.

He just needs time in that regard.

#cyberratting writes stuff #overwatchxpokemon

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meaningofaeons · 1 year

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hello, its oi anon!

somehow i feel like there's going to be a twist with the emperor that's 'limited in public appearances'... i bet all of my stellar jades that he'll be some puppet ruler for the destiny faith faction.

how often do you read non-oi manhwas? shadowless night and blinded by the setting sun (i know i recommended this before but i love it it's so good the ml and fl makes me feel things and the actual character development and worldbuilding makes me go hrrgrgggggh) have to be some of my favourites outside of traditional reincarnation oi. fl of shadowless night reminds me of stelle in the 'deadly trash panda' way, her head may be empty but her hands sure are filled with knives (and food). ml also got that jing yuan vibes

FU XUAN BRONYA AND SEELE YOU WROTE THEM SO PERFECTLY THEIR ROLES ARE PERFECT IT MATCHES SO WELL!! i am so so excited for this series if you can't tell already sdafghm,lkjbsdflnjk

luocha honestly gives off saint/cardinal/priest vibes. that clothing and his coffin, fits right in tbh. caelus ig could be at the xianzhou empire, who also lost his memories and is looking for his sister, lumine/aether style? he could be friends with sushang and helps out the cloud-knights quite a bit whilst also just wandering around doing odd jobs here and there. kinda unsure he's hard to place\

anyways!! take care!! eat and rest and sleep well, majesty is coming along great!!

hi again oi anon !! (≗ᆽ≗)ﾉ

hehe I am super excited to write more on the emperor since he's the only original character really in the series thus far, and most of the others will probably just be side characters like servants or minor nobles... （๑´ﻌ｀๑）

I will read blinded by the setting sun asap!! I have seen it around before and it's so pretty I love it I don't read a whole lot of non-oi/reincarnation manhwa mainly bc they're either usually hard to find or translated in such a way that is difficult to understand hdjsjhfnjd ;w; but I have read some! I rather enjoy the more typical medieval-style world ones with magic and stuff, and the lead finding their way on their own merit, like the remarried empress. navier obv isn't reincarnated or isekai'd, she's just a badass!!

THANK YOU BY THE WAY!!! I had some trouble finding places for the xianzhou charas but I thought that role did fu xuan justice! I was going to add yukong as well but unfortunately I don't know much abt her yet :< as for bronseele, yas teehee I am very excited to write them together. they won't be a huge part of the story but I wanted them to have roles that fit! （＾・ﻌ・＾✿）

your ideas are awesome for luocha!! I love the saint/cardinal idea, I counter with this: he's from the Destiny religion in Stellaron, but he went to the Xianzhou Empire to "spread the word" (but really, he's there for his own means, perhaps something to do w/ that coffin in canon if more info about him comes out soon). this is because in the quests he's in, luocha mentions that "luocha" is just the name he goes by on the xianzhou, not his actual name! I did want to throw in sushang as well tho so I'll see what happens!! (=♡ ᆺ ♡=)

thank you for the care & support!!! I'm glad you're enjoying how it's coming along thus far!!!! (=◕ᆽ◕ฺ=)

EDITED I FORGOT ABT CAELUS !!! I was gonna mention him LOL I don't have a planned role for him but I like your idea oi anon!!! will keep it in mind :3

#katze contemplates!#oi anon #anon #majesty #majesty: hsr #m.asks #I WILL ALSO TRY SHADOWLESS NIGHT #it looks rlly good

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battlecruiseranthracite · 28 days

Note

𓆣 4, 15, 26, 29 for the ask game 𓆣

hello hi hello!

4: Hard to say, really. I would say the two series that I've liked the most have been The Last Dragon series and Artemis Fowl, but they're likely colored by rose tinted goggles more than a bit. Worm is definitely a top contender, even if I quite like that one largely for the many many fanfictions it's inspired rather than the novel itself.

If I truly had to say only one novel, gun to my head I'd say Armageddon?? by Stuart Slade would have to be my favorite. It's techincally not a true published work, but that's largely due to the fact that it was leaked all over the web my the first publisher he sent it to for ideological reasons. Basically the premise is that god declares that heaven is closed and true believers should lay down and die, and while some humans do that a lot more of them say 'Well that sounds like a raw deal' and flip the bird to god, and in response the armies of hell march upon the world. While I love the premise, apparently some person who read the manuscript thought it was blasphemous and leaked it all over the web, making it essentially unpublishable. It really sucked, because Stuart Slade had already written the second book as well, but without funds couldn't afford to write the third one. The second book is also up online, and the series actually developed enough of a cult following that he started writing the third book and posting chapters online, but unfortunately shortly afterwards he died of Covid and thus the series will never be finished and all the amazing plot threads will never really be resolved. Really good two books however, look up The Salvation War if you wanna read it, and if you have trouble finding it lmk and I can help!

15: This one was hard so I have 2 sentences.

Less alliteration version: A being in flux, trying to get herself off the ground and into the world, finding out how to connect with others and waiting for the other shoe to drop, impossibly tired yet pushing onwards in hope that one day she’ll find a home where she can create and rest and feel safe.

More alliteration version: Confusing confounding Creature full of contradictions, who currently is in a cruddy and confusing place and feels more and more cracks every day, but despite that continues to claw her way through the calamities of life.

26: Kinda cruddy, I’ve had a pressure or infection or something at the back of my nose for a while and I tried washing my nose with a netty pot only to realize after that you cant just use tap water, you have to actually use a saline solution. Also tried washing it with some raw apple cider vinegar which may have been a bit of a mistake. Got some nasal spray, so I do hope that kicks in sooner rather than later.

Buuuut I have finally been able to sit down to play some EDF 6, so hey, that’s p nice. Its been a longass day and its nice to have a bit of time to relax, even if I will need to go to sleep kinda soon.

29: Ok this one is REALLY hard because essentially every single song I listen to has no lyrics lmao. I think my fav song lyrics at the moment however are from I Just Want To Exist by Empty blue, the opening thing really hits hard and is a huge mood that I feel right now.

I didn't ask to be here, to be a part of any of this I was just sort of born onto this planet and in this life And every day since, I've had to validate my existence Prove myself at school, prove myself at work, prove myself to my community, prove myself to God I have to pay to stay alive, I have to work so that I'm able to pay I have to grind away to get all of these resources that aren't even mine because I have to get them to someone else just to validate me (I deserve to exist, deserve to exist)

#Sorry for the delay in answering #15 kept me for a lot longer than maybe i should have thought about it

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romantic-flora · 1 year

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TIME FOR ANOTHER LONG ONE

Buckle up ladies, gaydies, & theydies, cause Flora's a LITTLE MAD today.

You may have seen my post about River recently. Well I still haven't heard from her but this isn't a tea update I just have A LOT OF FEELINGS about this situation.

So sit down, shut up, and open your ears to one autistic motherfucker raging about social queues.

Like I said before my date with River was probably the best first date I've ever been on. No actually is FOR SURE was. The conversation and flirting had so much chemistry - we couldn't wait two hours to kiss, we had to get it out of the way at the table. She was just the right amount of forward to be exciting but not overwhelming. The dom/sub dynamic flipped back and forth too many times to count and both of us loved being on both sides. And we're not even talking abut the sex yet (it was fantastic too). We share so many interests and she's a more-than-casual enjoyer of my *special interests* so it didn't feel awkward devoting a huge part of our conversation to them.

She read me so thoroughly and clearly - even with Luna, sometimes I feel like they can't quite grapple the way that I think (head full v head empty), but River consistently helped me finish thoughts that I was having trouble articulating and explicitly enjoyed it. There's a deep satisfaction to be found in being able to reach the same conclusion as someone without having to say all the words - for those of us who have brains that move way faster than our bodies. On top of which, River has been in a relationship with a transgirl before, so I didn't have to worry about answering questions or doing simple education.

She's brilliant. I say that in no attempt to hyperbolize. As someone who begrudgingly accepts the title of genius autism (I got both Smart Girl & Obsessed With Dumb Shit Girl versions in roughly equal measure hahaHAHA FUCK) I find it very difficult to connect with people to don't match me intellectually. This isn't a flex, it's alienating. I just can't be engaged in a conversation where I'm never being surprised or interested by the other person's thought process. Believe me, if I could go back to the start and reroll my stats, I would fucking bottom out intelligence. River, as I've probably made clear already, can more than keep up. I love playing word games over text, in person, as flirting etc - so to sit down with someone who has a degree in linguistics??? Come on. The whole experience was just so deeply refreshing and entertaining.

And I THOUGHT I was talking to someone super emotionally mature and interested in getting ahead of possible hurdles. We had already been discussing our second date before going on our first. She brought up dating goals, and I said I was looking for some emotional and intellectual fulfillment. She said she'd been out of a long term relationship for 6 months and wasn't looking for anything serious right now... but... that we had clicked way more than she was expecting to with anyone and she could see it going somewhere. I said we should keep things chill for now then & have another conversation about it after a few more dates. Seems good right? Being upfront about expectations and comfortable discussing feelings???

WELL I GUESS NOT. After a few more drinks we went to my place and had sex. She stuck around for a few hours of chat & cuddling after. I paid for her uber home - she had a job interview the next morning. She sent me a few texts on the way, and a cute goodnight message when she got home.

I simply cannot put into words how excited I was to have someone I didn't have to compromise on any of my standards for. AND she's super into me in return??? Too good to be true.

It's been 4 days and I haven't heard from her. I'm not blocked. She read my first couple messages (I've sent...3? & a post). She's pretty offline in general, she has ADHD, and I knew she had plans this week.

Luna says to give an ADHDer a week and to not assume anything until then. I'm struggling with that because for the three days prior to our date, our communication was very consistent. Easily hundreds of messages per day. And I knoooowwwww that's because I was top of mind.

Bottom line I have no idea what's going on, & everyone is telling me to be patient. It's a slow sinking feeling though, as with every hour a bit more hope slips away. I'm really hoping we'll bump into each other at an event tomorrow & I can get a better picture.

______________________________________________________________

Time to talk about my feelings. Gross, I know.

I cannot help but feel frustrated. Lack of resolution to situations drives my anxiety I N S A N E. I cannot help but assume the worst. The timing is very conspicuous. I'm used to Luna going dark for a few days at a time when they get busy, but RIGHT AFTER our first date doesn't feel neutral, it feels intentional.

The way I see it, there are two things that could be happening, if it's not forgetfulness.

River lied to me. About all of this special/different shit, so that she could fuck me. I would have said no to a hookup - the only reason I wanted to have sex was because I thought we were going to keep seeing each other. I might be a slut, but I'm a slut with desires. We had originally said we weren't going to hookup on our first date... Some would say if you're having that conversation ahead of time, you're definitely going to. We were both just so excited and into it. I don't think River is the kind of person to do this, but ALSO she's a stranger I met on the internet a week ago, she could be lying about anything. This option makes me quite upset, but it's easier to process because the rational outcome is anger. Anger doesn't make me anxious, I can handle it. So I'm having a couple days for feral girl rage while I wait out Luna's recommended waiting period.

It was too much too soon & she got scared. That I can absolutely understand - I would want to talk and settle that in a mature way that keeps us talking. If she just got too excited and the sex was more than she wanted in retrospect I totally get it. But WHY aren't you talking to me? Is this how allistic people deal with discomfort? Just walk away from it? From a really really good thing? That's BAFFLING I simply cannot comprehend the thought process. I've ghosted people before, but only people that I've had like one mediocre conversation with, I could NEVER do it to someone I actually liked. And if I had FEELINGS for that person... even if you're not comfortable pursuing them right now, why would you throw away that option??? I am filled with such tumult at the thought that she could HAVE feelings and be CHOOSING to avoid me. That's so terribly anxiety inducing. I just want things between us to be stable and comfortable, we can take a step back, we don't have to have sex until you're ready, we don't even have to see each other that much, just TALK TO ME.

River. We could be so fucking good together. Now or whenever you're ready. I'll wait if you want me to. Just don't leave me in the dark. I think you were being honest when you told me you had an amazing time. I don't want to believe you're a liar. I'm going to pretend to be mad so that I'm not anxious, but whether it's good for me or not, the second you text me, I'm going to be so relieved and understanding of whatever you say.

Unless it's something I have failed to consider. This is a tangent, but I'm so sick of having to be the Bigger Person. I get upset about things. I deserve apologies. As much as anyone else. Fucking annoying how being mature makes you kind of powerless in relationship dynamics. Maybe I need to be less desperate and set some better boundaries. In fact I know that's true. But I also have a larger underlying issue, one that River articulated to me more clearly than I had thought about it. I like to talk to people close to me about my achievements, small and large, I like praise and I like to show off a little bit - my ego comes from the fact that I don't get the praise I need from the people I want. And I'm not sure how to solve that problem without filling my inner circle with people who appreciate me more. If you have any tips on how to not desire praise, let me know I guess? And none of this "you only need your own praise" stuff - I already think I'm the greatest <3

Well no poetic ending to this one. I'll update after the event tomorrow on whether River shows her (beautiful) face.

Smitten & hopeful,

Flora

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pepprs · 5 years

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still haven’t cried yet but today broke my whole entire heart

#said goodbye 2 five of my davorite ppl in thr WORLD for the nezt 4 months like. how do we cope. how do we fucking COPE #ueah theres facetime and social media and all that but. nothing beats an in person conversation u know? nothing beats being in ur company :(#and it was my last time in the office and on campjs too and like. hm. i am reduced to a 3rd of myself i think. but also it doesnt feel real #ive been very numb today and i know its a protective measure so i wont be in pain bht like. what inconvenient timing... i wuld like to feel #something. and i mean i did feel something which was Quite A Lot Of Sadness but i still dont think its actually hit me that like... thats it #and i really am not gonna see them again for so long. my stomach is in literal knots rn i....... 😔#how do we cope hw do we fucking cope...#also im just like. so tired. more tired than sad j think. that took so much out of me emotionally and yet my emotions havent... caught up #quite yet. but i already feel empty... like a huge part of my head and heart are missing. and i havent eben taken off yet but this is hard.#purrs #like these are my People! the people i Love! how can i Be without them u know? how can i. how can i leave like this when i love tbem so much #agh. its so hard. i hurt so much but i do but i dont but i do but i dont and im empty but full but empty but full. i hurt and i dont hurt.#also i know im coming back so this is kust a see you later but... it really is more permanent than that in a way. cuz its like goodbye to th #me i am and the you you are right now in this moment... and we arent gonna get to see wach other growing and when i get back we’ll all be #different even thi we’re still the same. and well its just a lot!

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sukirichi · 4 years

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closer | gojo satoru x reader

a/n: aaah my first ask and it’s a request! thanks so much this is so kind and sweet of you 🥺 and here it is! I’m not sure if it’s exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it anyway!

summary: in which Gojo has the need to be closer to you after a long day of hard work

pairings: jealous! Gojo x reader

warnings: none, other than this isn’t proofread! (This is just a fluffy domestic short fic!)

masterlist !

The best part about being the strongest jujutsu sorcerer isn’t the power (although Gojo basks in that too) but rather the fact that he allows himself to completely tear his walls down and be putty in your hands once he comes home from work.

Gojo would never say it out loud that the best part of his days is waking up next to you, pressing kisses in your still sleepy face and you whining for five more minutes, then watching as you wobble like a penguin to the shower so you can start your day. Although he doesn’t really ask much from you, his heart still swells every time you make him a sandwich, kiss it and claim that it’s “made with love” before he proudly shows off his ‘breakfast’ of the day to his students.

Even in work, he still thinks of you. It’s quite impossible for this man to stop thinking of you; you and him never left that honeymoon phase even after two years of marriage and a much longer time of dating.

He could be exorcising a curse then get distracted afterwards after seeing an Italian restaurant that he just knows you’ll love. Next thing you know, Gojo flicks his wrist and exorcises the curse in a flash before hopping into that restaurant to look at the menu. Loving is knowing; Gojo takes the time to see if the restaurant would be respectful of your allergies every time before booking reservations.

It’s no secret that this man is completely enamoured with you, if his sappy good morning kisses accompanied with light, teasing touches down your legs is not an indication already. Gojo is confident and feels safe in your relationship and he’s never the type to get jealous because Gojo is Gojo – who else would be better than him for you?

Or at least that’s what he used to believe, until he comes home with a bag of pumpkin spice bread for you, arms wide open and a “Darling~” about to leave his lips when he sees your current predicament.

Nanami is leaning against one of the chairs in your cafe downstairs from your home, the usual stoic man’s lips and cheekbones slightly raised in laughter as you tell him something about your day. Gojo can’t exactly understand the worse falling from your lips because he’s too focused on the way you’re leaning forward, eyes absolutely crinkled into half-moons while you share a strawberry tart with him. Gojo sees the cups of tea have already been emptied, meaning Nanami has been here for a much longer time than he is welcomed.

Gojo clenches his jaw. He’s told you many times you should get a bell so you’d know when a customer comes in, but now he’s thankful you’re stubborn and refused to have one because he can hide in one of the propped up tables and chairs hidden in the darkness.

He can’t help the sigh he releases. He’s late – like he always is.

You’re a regular human who isn’t able to see curses. You’ve only ever known about their existence ever since you started dating Gojo, but other than that, you’re completely unaware of how these things work. It doesn’t bother Gojo. In fact, he quite likes that he can be just a regular man around you, and he basks in the comfort of not having to worry about your safety if ever you were also like him.

He met you when you were just still a barista who helped your boss bake from time to time. Gojo was only a student then who hopped from one cafe to another in search of the best delicacy, but he got more than what he bargained from when he met the fresh-faced and bubbly young woman standing behind the counter whose smile was sweeter than the most sugary dessert you’ve ever made.

As the two of you grew older, Gojo supported you in building your own cafe since you’re so passionate about it and it’s been your dream since childhood.

He still remembers how you’d spend hours in the kitchen trying out new ingredients, so much so that you forget to eat on most days. Gojo is left with the task of literally hauling your ass up upstairs and force you to shower with him. You lie that you’re not really tired, but the moment his skilled hands roll the tension out of your shoulders, a contented and grateful sigh paints those lips he loves to kiss.

One of the things Gojo loves doing with you is taste-testing. He’s not around the house most of the time when you work since he’s a busy man himself, but on the days he actively chooses to annoy Principal Yaga and go AWOL, he’d sit obediently on the counter and let you use him as your own taste experimenting dummy.

When night falls and you’re just about ready to head to bed; satisfied and proud of another day of hard work, Gojo comes home early to help you clean up the cafe and prop the furniture so you don’t overstrain your muscles.

Or at least, he wants to come home early to help you. It’s just that he often gets carried away on his missions and stays behind a lot longer than he’d like because the world of curses is extremely demanding. After seeing that you probably already lifted all these heavy chairs and cleaned up everything by yourself even when you’re tired, and you still have the ability to smile and laugh like that in Nanami’s presence when he should be the one on the receiving end, Gojo is unable to fight back the twisting feeling that pools in his stomach.

Forcing a huge grin on his face, Gojo loudly smacks the paper bag in the table between you and Nanami, his hands resting on the blond’s shoulder who only groans at his presence. “Yo!” He greets, winking when your eyes gleam brighter now that your husband is home.

There’s no trace or hint of anything that could indicate you’re upset with him because he didn’t come home early. Instead, you bow and excuse yourself while picking up your cups and the small plate where remnants of your signature tart had been, and Gojo watches with longing eyes as you disappear in the back room.

Now that you’re gone, Gojo drops in your seat, takes off his blindfold, and glares at Nanami. “Nanamin,” he drawls out. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here – getting chummy with my wife, no less.”

Gojo knows he’s being petty and childish. Of course he is. This is Nanamin we’re talking about; the man is as frigid and stone and he’s as interested in romantic relationships as much as he respects Gojo Satoru. Plus, it’s you, and you have eyes for Gojo and Gojo only, but it’s also Gojo Satoru who’s mixed in the formula, and he’s not the least bit ashamed that he’s being immature right now.

Of course he’s jealous. Of course he’s possessive.

You’re his sweet, little wife – of course he doesn’t like it.

As if reading his mind but couldn’t be bothered to deal with him, Nanami slides an envelope across the table. “Ijichi took a sick leave so he couldn’t give this to you. I was tasked to hand it over to you instead so I came around. It’s not my fault you come home late and your wife insisted I have a short meal before I came home,” Gojo opens his to retort something stupid when you emerge from the back, pretty face tired yet still patient as ever.

“Leaving already, Nanami?” You smile up at him, hand slipping through Gojo’s bigger and rough ones. He doesn’t know why the gesture leaves him stunned, especially when you step close enough that he feels your heat on this sudden cold night. He’s so entranced by everything about you he doesn’t even notice the blond bidding his farewell.

Gojo watches as you turn to face him, smaller hands reaching up to caress his face. Now that his blindfold is gone, his hair falls down to forehead, your dainty fingers brushing them away from his eyes so you could marvel in its beauty.

Like a little kid, he melts into a puddle when you do that exact eye-smile he’s seen you do with Nanami, only this time, it’s reserved, private, and intimate.

Gojo shuts his eyes in the process, nearly stumbling forward, which he doesn’t really let happen with anyone because he’s the Gojo Satoru; strongest jujutsu sorcerer. But you don’t mind, you never do, and if anything it only makes you laugh when he pretends to be deadweight by collapsing into the crook of your neck.

“What a big baby,” you tease with your hand rubbing up and down his back in a soothing motion, all the tiredness and exhaustion from his day disappearing into thin air.

“Yes,” he concedes as he follows you up the stairs where you both change into your pyjamas and settle in for the night. “But I’m your big baby.”

The nickname makes you laugh, head thrown back as giggles erupted in your chest. You’ve already removed your makeup, hair down from your work hairnet and flowing in loose waves. Gojo stifles a gasp then, because you’re in his arms, in his bed, smelling like him, and you’re so soft, so free, so vulnerable and the way you lean into his shoulders while he rubs his cheek on the crown of your head makes him feel like he’s falling in love all over again.

He’ll never get tired of this – of you.

The mere thought of seeing you with someone else that isn’t him doesn’t sit well with Gojo. Now he understands why he’s so jealous and immature – it’s because he hasn’t wanted anyone or anything as much as he loves you.

He can’t imagine a life where he’ll wake up to his mornings without your limbs sprawled across his longer ones, or how he may never hear your sleep talks about birds and butterflies; which is utterly ridiculous, but because it’s you, he finds it adorable. Sometimes Gojo wonders how he ever even lived before meeting, but of course, those were days filled with nothing but him doing weird stupid shit.

Not that he’s stopped doing that, but now at least he’s doing those weird stupid with you.

And he only ever wants to share those with you, so he doesn’t and will never allow anyone else to take what’s rightfully his. You’re his wife, the love of his life, the sunshine in his mornings and the sunset of his beautiful dusk.

He doesn’t care if he’s petty – he’s got every right to be jealous because Gojo Satoru never shares what’s his.

When his mind races back to the way you smile for Nanami again, his hold on you grows tighter. You don’t complain when Gojo suddenly presses his lips into yours, a breathy moan blessing his ears once he finally moves on top of you. Gojo runs his hand under your – his – shirt, letting those talented hands of his roam upon the expanse of his skin like an artwork he’ll never get tired of looking at.

“Missed you,” he mumbles in between the lip-locking, leaning closer when your nails start to scratch his scalp as a way to soothe him from the night. Nothing about the kiss is hurried or fervent; rather, it’s calm and steady, slow and passionate, much like how everything he feels for you is similar to a calm, rainy day where he’ll stay in with a hot cup of chocolate.

You’re home – warmth and comfort – and you know you’re his just as he knows he’s yours, but it doesn’t stop him from kissing you like he wants you to never forget that.

You shiver when Gojo’s fingers tickle your ribcage, that spot always having been sensitive. Your husband swipes his tongue over your lips that still tastes like strawberries from your lipbalm, and he groans, falling forward when you allow him access into your sweet, sweet mouth. Meanwhile, you travel down from his hair into those broad, strong shoulders that always seemed like a fortress to you.

Gojo was so big and strong compared to you. There’s no denying he could easily break you if he wanted to, but he’s nothing but gentle – perhaps a little eager – when he holds you like this.

There’s no memory of how you end up on top of his lap that night with the covers barely strewn across your bodies, Gojo’s back pressing into the bed frame that’s witnessed endless nights of passion. His hands then run over your hips, squeezing it a little too hard until you rut against his hips.

“Hmm,” you moan into his mouth at the friction, while Gojo only smirks at your reaction. Even after years, you’re still so sweet, sensitive, and responsive – he just can’t get enough of it. “Satoru,” the way you say his name is so breathy, almost as if it’s a secret only the two of you should know, so he listens intently at your next words. “You’re a little needy tonight. Did something happen?”

“No,” he lies, smiling to himself once he sees your lips are red and bruised. He’s sure he looks the same, but your eyes are glossed over with love that he can’t resist you pulling you to him as if the space offends him. He trails his lips down to your neck to leave red patches of marks that claims you as his – not that the gold wedding band on your fingers wasn’t doing the job already.

Like the good girl you are, you tilt your head and allow him to do as he pleases. He sucks, licks, kisses and nips at the skin, all the while careful to not hurt you or push you over to the edge since both of you are too tired for the day to ever do anything.

Your head drops to the crook of his neck then, arms wrapped around his shoulders loosely as if you trusted him to catch you whenever you fall – and you know he will. He always will.

Later on, you grow sleepy at the way he starts to pepper kisses into your skin that addictingly smells like cinnamon and vanilla all at the same time. Gojo chuckles to himself at how peaceful you look in that moment, draped over him like a tiny puppy who lives in a world too big for themselves, but that’s not true.

You’re bigger than the universe itself, larger than the vast galaxies he held beneath those eyes, and Gojo finally stops being jealous.

There’s no need to be, after all, not when he’s the one you trust wholeheartedly to tuck you in bed while your soft breathing lulls him into slumber as well. Gojo flicks the lamp off with his finger, not wasting another second before he scoots closer, closer, closer until there’s no more recollection of where you begin and where he ends.

He stands corrected in his statement.

He’ll never get tired of this, of you, for you’re bigger than the universe itself and there’s still a lot of space between the two of you that he can’t wait to cross until your worlds crash and burn.

“Next time,” he promises before kissing your eyelids, “I’ll come home earlier.”

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barnesbabee · 3 years

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collab || J.Y

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ 2 - ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴍ.��ɪꜱᴛ

Summary: Two famous porn stars have a fun collab together.

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x gn!reader

Words: Just enough

⚠ although there is no mention of gender, the reader wears makeup and lingerie, so if you are uncomfortable with that, don't read ⚠

As Yunho dried his hair with a small towel, he heard the familiar ding sound from his social media. He had just finished uploading the edited version of his live stream, so it wasn't unusual for him to be contacted by a bunch of people right after, however, he didn't expect to see you.

You weren't well known in the porn scenario, as you were fairly new and the competition was vast, but your 'Around The World' series had become a huge success and a major hit for its originality.

Yunho was quite a fan of the series, so when he saw your message, his fingers were crossed.

Y/N: Hello! My name is Y/N, I'm not sure if you know my work, but I am a porn star that is currently doing a series called 'Around The World' where I... well, fuck people all around the world. My next stop is South Korea and I have seen your work before and I think our style is very similar and I would love to do a collab with you! Feel free to check out my work on my page, I hope to hear from you soon! xoxo

The tall man squealed like a high schooler getting a text from his crush, he's always wanted a collab and now he was about to get one in one of the biggest series of the moment!

Yunhxxx: Hello Y/N! I am aware of your series and I am a fan! I would love to do the collab with you! I'll send you my number so we can talk about the details more comfortably :)

Part of your anxiousness died down at his response. Most porn stars were very polite and kind in front of the camera, and in business discussion, all for that quick buck, but you'd find, with your series, that a lot of them were just assholes with a huge ego. You had a good feeling about Yunho, but you didn't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed.

The arrangements didn't take long, as you were both excited for the collab to happen, making it very easy to communicate. Yunho was kind enough to offer his own home for you to sleep in, arguing that 'whoever fucks me gets to sleep in my house for free'.

Yunho spent the weekend preparing everything for your arrival on Monday morning: he cleaned his whole house, stocked his fridge and cabinets with all sorts of food, and sanitized every toy of his. By the time he received your 'I'm on my way!' text, his house was the cleanest it had ever been.

The man showered, put on his best cologne, and applied some dark eyeshadow under his eyes. As he stood in front of the closet in his briefs only, he wondered what he should go for. A sophisticated look? A sexy look? An outlaw-looking look? He wanted something to get you immediately attracted to him. Yunho wanted to make you feel good, not to make you act as if you felt good.

Ultimately he chose a black button-up and black suit pants. He decorated his long fingers (that he had come to learn was something many people liked about him) and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.

Yunho was aware of his innocent appearance. He had had his cheeks squeezed one too many times, so he caught on quickly. However, the man loved to play with his looks. He loved to make people wonder what kind of person he was, with a cute face, yet an intimidating look.

Before he knew it, his doorbell rang. Yunho took one last look in the mirror, just to make sure everything was in its place and walked towards the door. The first hello wasn't awkward at all, as you'd already had a few zoom calls to discuss what would happen in your collab, just to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

Once you stepped in with your suitcase, you couldn't help but notice how neat, modern, and well decorated his house was. The walls were white with big windows, and the furniture was a mix of grey, light blue, and white. Yunho lead you to the guest room where you'd be staying, and it was a lot nicer than you expected. The bed was high and large, the duvet was grey with a bunch of fluffy white and red pillows decorating it. In front of the bed was a modern black vanity with lightbulbs around the squared mirror, and against the wall in front of the door was a black, sliding door wardrobe, with a large, orange, and red abstract painting of a couple. His house looked simple yet classy, with just the right amount of colour and decoration. You took a look at him, his dark look contrasting the house.

"You already got prepared?"

Yunho looked a little puzzled for a second, but then understood. "Oh! Oh no, you've just arrived, you must be tired! This is just... how I dress?" He said, feeling a little embarrassed.

You took a good look at his outfit.

"You always dress like that? Wow..."

Yunho's cheeks became a little red at the comment, and he stumbled over his words as he thanked you. He was used to receiving compliments when he had his clothes off, but with clothes on? Not so much... Before closing the door, Yunho told you to feel at home, and that when you were ready you could start setting everything up in the room he used to shoot.

The man had never felt that nervous, so when he finally closed the door, he immediately headed to his living room, and found the whiskey bottle he kept for emergencies. He poured a generous glass and sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone as he waited for you.

You were pretty much used to the routine, and since you had a stopover in a neighboring country and spent the night there, the trip hadn't been too tiring. You sat on the very convenient vanity and re-did your makeup. You liked to match your look to your type of content, so you went for a dark look: dark purple lipstick, a heavy, black smokey eye, and loads of mascara. You made sure to apply a lot, so it would run down your face and give the viewers the fucked out look they loved to see.

The lingerie matched your makeup: black lace lingerie with some bling here and there, and a garter belt to accessorize. You grabbed your robe from your suitcase and exited the room.

"Yunho?" You called, peeking your head from behind the wall.

"Hm?"

His eyes widened when he looked up. You were completely different from the person he had met.

"I am ready if you are!"

He nodded and stood up, downing the rest of his 2nd whiskey cup in one go. Yunho took you upstairs and opened the door to his 'studio'.

In the center of the room was a carpet, and a big, empty space behind it.

"I usually move the bed or the couch over there, depending on what I want to do that day. I found that it was easier to move the furniture than the whole set up." He explained, pointing at the empty space.

Against the wall, opposite of you, there was a bed, much like the one on your bedroom, and a nice, black leather couch. Beside you there was a closet, where Yunho kept all his toys, accessories, and streaming outfits. Other than that it was just the usual setup: a desk with a computer, professional lights, and a camera.

Yunho walked over to the couch and moved it with ease to the empty space.

"So we've already decided?" You asked.

The man smirked as if simply entering the room turned him into a completely different person.

"I already have everything planned out for you dear, it would be rude to have my guests work."

You blushed slightly, and sat on the couch, waiting for the green light.

You watched as he opened the closet, displaying his wide collection. He picked a bunch of stuff that he set on top of a towel on the floor.

"Alright, that's about it."

You cocked your head to the side, in confusion.

"You're not getting dressed?"

Yunho reached for the choker he had brought and softly placed it around your neck, tying it just tight enough. He hooked his finger on the big metal ring on the front and tugged on it. You followed his silent command and knelt on the ground, in front of the couch.

"I'm already dressed, for the concept we're gonna try."

You were getting curious and excited. You stayed still as he started up the live stream. Yunho turned on the lights, set up the camera, and pressed 'Start Live Video'. The screen counted down from five, until the live started.

Yunho sat on the couch behind you, and placed his large hand on your head.

The man smirked as soon as the comments started raining.

There was a mixture of fuck yeah's and happy cheers as they recognized Yunho, and became excited for what was to come. The live was obviously happening on your account, although you would always split the tips with the person you worked with.

"Hello," Yunho started, and you let him take the lead "welcome to the 24th edition of Around The World, I am today's guest, and we have such a great show for you today, don't we?"

Yunho tugged on your hair, making you wince. You looked at the camera and nodded.

The 30 dollar donation ding sounded, announcing that someone had made a request.

'Make her sit on your thigh'

You let Yunho take the lead once more, hooking his finger on your choker's hoop and pulling you up, to sit on his thigh. You hummed as you rolled your hips, causing friction between your core and his thigh. Your hand ran along his torso, feeling the fabric of his shirt.

"He has too many clothes, don't you think?" You asked the camera, in a flirty tone.

There was a rain of comments agreeing with you, and you immediately got to work, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. His dick print was already very visible in his pants, and you could now understand why he wanted to wear that look.

You removed his shirt, slowly and teasingly, as the viewers praised Yunho's toned body.

The male hooked his finger on your underwear and snapped it against your skin. Your little whimper at the sudden pain made him smirk.

Yunho ran his hands along your body, making you shiver from the cold metal of his rings.

Tips and donations rained down with many requests, and so you went back on the floor and laid your head on Yunho's thigh, your face mere inches away from his hard-on. You perked your ass up and traced the shape of his cock with your finger.

"What do you think? Should we reward them?" Yunho asked, petting your head as he stared into the camera.

As expected, everyone gave you the green light to continue, so you slowly opened his fly, to find he had no underwear on. You freed him from his pants, gripping his length in your hand. You kept eye contact with the male, and although you were a professional, you were always nervous when you had to take dicks on the bigger side.

You spat on his tip, and played with his cock for a second, before slowly inserting it in your mouth. Yunho groaned and threw his head back, taking in the warmth of your mouth. His hand was tangled in your hear, gripping it and tugging on it from time to time.

"Shit, you're doing so good..."

Yunho was very vocal, to your (and the viewer's) pleasure.

The 50$ notification ding sounded, and a message played right after.

'bby I wanna see you jump on his cock'

Yunho smirked and gripped your hair, in a firm, yet not painful way. He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, cleaning the remaining saliva.

"Hmm, you know what, so do I."

You stripped from your underwear, in a sensual way for the viewers (and Yunho) to enjoy.

Yunho slapped his thigh, and you climbed onto his lap, slowly but surely sinking down on his length. You gripped onto his shoulders for stability and groaned as every inch of his cock disappeared inside of you.

His hands gripped your ass, spreading your cheeks in a beautiful way for the camera to see. The male helped you, as you rode him, not only by holding your hips and guiding you, but also by snapping his hips up against yours. Filthy slapping sounds along with the mixture of your moans echoed in the room, and the donations were reaching their peak.

"F-fuck baby you're s-so good, you're doing so well."

You gripped his shoulders harder, as his praises drew you closer and closer to your edge.

"They're c-close! Should we l-let them cum?"

It was impressive how professional Yunho was. How he looked so immersed in you, so tired and fucked out, with his fringe sticking to his forehead and eyes burning into your soul, yet he didn't forget to interact with the viewers.

There were many people leaning towards yes, begging to hear the way you sounded as you came, and so he worked hard until you screamed his name and tightened around his cock. He let you rest and recompose for a second, but the way you clenched around him made it impossible for him to hold it in any longer.

"Shit, get on the ground."

You gladly complied, and got on your knees for him, immediately sticking out your tongue, as you could predict what would come after.

Yunho jerked himself off to your fucked out face, and soon a string of curses came out of his mouth, as he spilled all over your face. He smirked and wiped some of his cum off of your face with his thumb.

"Say ah, pretty baby."

You smiled and opened your mouth. He inserted his finger in your mouth and you happily licked it clean.

Yunho cupped your face with his hand, and smiled.

"You behaved so well, I might have to reward you again."

His head tilted to the side, pointing to the couch, and you followed. You sat down on the couch, and Yunho knelt in front of you. His arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you forward, so your hole would be of easy access to him.

The man teased you, as his tongue danced around your hole, not quite getting where you wanted him. You rolled your hips up, earning a slap to your inner thigh.

He looked up at you, with a hint of darkness in his eyes.

"Behave."

It didn't take long for you to get what you wanted, as he started tongue fucking you, with the help of his fingers. You gripped his hair, and your back arched as your high approached once more.

You came quickly, with his tongue still inside you, and he held your trembling legs and body, to keep you stable.

He didn't move for a second, giving you time to breathe and rest. After you had recomposed yourself, he helped you up, and the two of you shared a heated kiss, Yunho's hands never leaving your ass, that he definitely had a fixation with.

You finished the stream by thanking the viewers and donors and shut everything off. Once everything was done, you sighed and plopped onto the couch.

"Do you not want to shower?" Yunho questioned, as he saw the mess in your face and body.

You chuckled.

"Yes I do, very much, but I'm so fucked out..."

Yunho very kindly scooped you up.

"Well, I wouldn't want my guest to work too hard, I'll help you out."

#ateez #ateez smut #jeong yunho #yunho smut #jeong yunho smut #kpop #kpop smut #kinktober #ateez kinktober #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez gender neutral #ateez readder insert #ateez reactions #ateez reaction #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez yunho smut #yunho ateez smut

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ushidoux · 4 years

Text

November Baby - Ushijima x Reader

Summary: Wakatoshi offers you a little more than just chocolate and flowers on Valentine’s Day. (~2.7k words)

Warnings: breeding kink, pregnancy talk, cisfem!reader, nsfw

A/N: Breeding kink and big one-track minded boy just go hand in hand. This is for @prettysetterbaby’s Valentine’s Day collab!

---

Wakatoshi never told you directly that he wanted children, but he signaled so in every possible way.

It was initially subtle - of course, he’d always loved your hips, but his eyes and hands started to rest on them more often, and soon your belly became his favorite place to plant soft kisses, and his fingers started to favor the dip in your waist and the smoothness of your hips.

In the evenings when you washed up for the night, his eyes seemed to hone in on your facial features more than usual, and while he stood beside you at the bathroom sink to get ready of his own accord as you brushed your teeth and swiped toner on your face and neck, you could see him perform a sort of math in his head, adding and subtracting from the elements that comprised the two of you.

You took note of all these behaviors, but you declined to pick his brain because your Toshi was always direct, and you knew that if he was quiet now, it was only because he was still coming up with the proper words to express what he was feeling.

But he let you know all right, in the middle of a crowded department store in the heart of Warsaw that looked like it had been ransacked by Cupid’s battalion many times over.

“Is Poland just really into Valentines’ Day or is it this store?” You joked, as you followed your husband leisurely pushing a shopping cart you’d overloaded with essentially useless trinkets and decorative items. You’d moved into your new home just a couple of weeks ago, and still were engrossed with the task of filling the empty spaces between comfy furniture and elegant fixtures.

You were now trekking through the realm of cribs and diapers and couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at the frankly quite excessive marketing. Red and pink hearts were everywhere, as were flowers, huge balloons, chubby angels and red crossbows, you name it.

“Oh my God, even the baby section is Valentine’s Day themed??? No wonder everyone I know is born in November!”

You were busy laughing at your own joke, but instead, he looked at you with the slightest bit of caution in his hazel eyes, leaning over the cart as it rolled to a stop and gripping the handles carefully.

“Let’s have a November baby, too,” he said, abruptly enough to stun you for a split second.

Your eyes grew slightly wide, your face growing hot at his clear and concise statement, and you quickly looked around to see if anyone else had picked up his distinct baritone. You knew in your heart of hearts he was completely serious, and flustered, you bumped him slightly on the hip.

“Why would you say it right now?” You hissed.

“Does it matter where I say it?” He asked, with a slight raise of his eyebrows. You pouted, fingers tightening on the handles of the shopping cart as well. His eyes were still on you, again, gauging your reaction, worried if he was too forward and if he had somehow made you upset with his suggestion.

“Only if you want to of course, my love,” he reassured again, his hand now covering yours. His smile was understanding, even if there was a hint of lingering hope.

The warmth was fading from your face, your heartbeat that had sped up due to embarrassment now settling with the stroke of his thumb over the back of your hand.

It didn’t take you long to think because the thought had already crossed your mind. Being heavy with his child, then eventually coming to this very store with a small little one that looked like the two of you…

It was a delightful thought, actually.

“Wine and dine me first,” you teased, kissing him quickly on the nose, “and then we can consider having a Valentine’s Day baby.”

He grinned, the slightest bit of mischief in his glance.

“I’ll have you pregnant by the end of the night.”

---

Dumping your pill pack into the trash was a surprisingly simple ordeal and you were very thankful it was mainly used for birth control over anything else. But out of an abundance of caution, you’d decided to shoot a message to your primary care doctor earlier that morning anyway and gotten the green light to start immediately, which was reassuring if not embarrassing. While you knew she didn’t take it this way, part of you felt like you’d essentially disrupted her life to say by the way, my husband’s gonna fuck me into oblivion until i pee positive on a stick, any objections?

Ushijima seemed to be taking this ordeal very seriously as he was prone to do, his diet even more regimented than usual despite being off-season and adding an extra ten minutes to his morning jog, a protein-heavy green smoothie in hand. While that was cute, what wasn’t cute was the fact that he hadn’t touched you in the past week.

When you rolled over to him in the middle of the night, slipping your hand down his boxers to try to get him to give you what he wanted, he responded with a kiss on the lips before gently removing your hand off of him and intertwining his fingers with that hand instead.

“If I’m going to breed you, it’s gonna be special,” he murmured almost directly into your ear, a tinge of slumber in his voice making his voice even more seductive.

Breed? The thought itself had your heart racing but not as much when he added,

“I’m saving up to fill you with the biggest load possible, sweetheart.”

With that, he patted you on the head before whispering for you to go to sleep and anchoring an arm around your midsection to snuggle with you, but the thought of what he would do to you had you wide, wide awake.

---

The fact that you were so focused on the main event made it easier for Ushijima to surprise you with the rest of the activities he had planned for Valentine’s Day.

It wasn’t the first since you’d been married, but he’d absolutely put even greater efforts into this one, starting with waking you up (after letting you sleep almost into noon) to an oversized box of chocolates and bouquet of roses and a handmade card with a haiku written in his neat script. If that weren’t enough, he’d brought you brunch to enjoy together, cozied up in bed, and topped off morning kisses with the revelation of a tennis bracelet to go with your engagement ring.

“Toshi, it’s perfect…,” you all but blubbered out, ready to burst into tears. He treated you so well.

“Not as perfect as you,” he said with a smile, welcoming you to bury yourself in his chest.

Dinner warranted more of an effort from you, and so you dressed up in your finest attire for the upscale restaurant, armed with the complete awareness that your husband planned to rip every inch of fabric off of you tonight. It didn’t help that while your meal was pleasant, you could see Ushijima grow impatient with time, adjusting and readjusting the sleeves of his blazer as night approached.

When you finally returned to the front door of your home, you were stuffed but not to bursting, and that very little bit of space left in your belly seemed to fill with new butterflies, especially with Ushijima’s hand resting at the small of your back as he opened the door.

Why were you so nervous? You’d had sex before, many times over, but something about today felt… different? Maybe it was the looming idea of purpose, and Ushijima knew purpose very well.

When the door clicked shut, he wasn’t on you immediately as you expected, but he was still ready, as were you. He leaned down to plant yet another kiss on your lips that seemed to whisk the nervousness away - again he was your Toshi, and you were his, and you were going to create life.

“Baby?” He asked, tentatively.

“Baby,” you agreed, wrapping your arms around his neck to start another kiss anew. He carried you effortlessly, keeping his lips pressed to yours as he pulled off your high heels and tossed them haphazardly, leading you back into the bedroom where a smattering of rose petals along the shag carpet and in the center of the bed greeted you, along with a lightly diffused essential oil blend with heavy notes of ylang-ylang and cedarwood.

Laying you carefully on your back, his eyes shifted from soft to focused, practically to match the level of intensity you saw when he was on the court, and your pulse started to pick up again. While he didn’t exactly tear the clothes off of you as you had anticipated, your dress was pulled over your body quite hastily to reveal all of you. Inches of skin to mark, a beautiful body to fill.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured again, leaning into your neck for soft bites and kisses. He was still mostly fully clothed, and you could feel his swollen length press against your pubis, thick and heavy.

He let out a sigh, and climbed off the bed to undress.

“Don’t move,” he ordered as he pulled off tie, shirt, pants, in that order, and you couldn’t tell if you were more distracted by the sculpted muscles of his shoulders, arms, chest and abs, flexing and relaxing with every minute movement or the swell of his fat cock at attention, anxious to bury itself inside you.

You gulped. You knew this was a ridiculous thought, but for a moment, you wondered if it was somehow bigger today?

Before you even realized what you were saying, you were already pleading, “Toshi… please be gentle…”

Ushijima smirked at your wide-eyed look, then shifted back to taking in your splayed out body with his eyes, as though mapping out his strategy while he idly fisted his length.

“Of course, love. I would never dream of hurting the mother of my kids.”

Yet, he was absolutely going to have his way with you.

It didn’t take him long to make a decision on how to attack, anyway, because he quickly resumed position hovering over you, taking a moment to appreciate the sight of anticipating, open lips, slightly knit eyebrows over a curious gaze. His lower half pressed against you closely enough that again, you could feel the entirety of his warm, girthy length pressing against the bottom of your quickly wetting cunt to your abdomen.

The sheer span of his cock reminded you that he was basically designed to do this.

The fact that he started moving first, rubbing his length across your belly as if trying out the course before he dove in also reminded you how much your body craved him always.

His fingers entered you hastily, and he reveled in the way your cunt already made the lewdest of noises, soft audible squishes with every pump of his fingers as he prepped you.

“So eager… so sloppy, waiting to receive all of my cum, aren’t you?” He teased, withdrawing his fingers to show you some of your slick. “You’re receptive,” he added, pulling his two fingers apart to show you the stringiness of your arousal.

“I-I want this too, you know,” your face growing hot from the tease, hotter still when he sucked your wetness right off his fingers.

“What do you want?” He said, raising an eyebrow, still moving painfully slowly on top of you, but angling his body so that he was just running the entire base of his cock against your wet slit, killing you with every second he wasn’t immediately filling you up.

“Your babies, Toshi...”

That made him smile, and you earned the slight entry of his cockhead into you, forcing a slight moan out of your throat. The stretch was intense, as always, but the fact that he slowed had you squirming for more, as fast as possible.

“T-Toshi… please, more,” you moaned as you raised your legs to slide down further on his cock, and he held them, pressing both firmly along his side.

“How much cum can you take in this little body of yours?” he asked, pressing right at your umbilicus with one hand, as he pushed in a mere additional inch.

You let out something between a moan and a scream from the overwhelming sensation of being stretched with so many inches to spare.

“Just fill me!!! Please, just put everything inside me,” you whined.

“As you wish, darling.”

His arms hoisted your legs above his shoulders and he did you the service of thrusting all remaining inches inside you, forcing tears from your eyes from the too full sensation, kissing your ankles beside his head as he gave you time to breathe and adjust. Once you’d settled from the sound of your whimpers slowing, he reached for the headboard behind you before he started his onslaught.

Thrust after thrust after savage thrust, you could hear his groans deepen as he plowed the grounds for his seed, his hands tightening firmly against the wood of your headboard as it creaked for mercy.

He felt so good, so perfect, so fitting, stretching you out like this to make room for his kin.

Your fingers etched desire into his back, as you choked up a demand for more sensation, more him, more closeness..

“More, daddy!”

“Daddy is quite correct,” he mused, his hands moving from the headboard to quiet instead the jostle of your breasts, palming them gently.

They were so pretty to him, he couldn’t wait to see them swell.

He leaned down again to swallow your moans in a kiss, then opted to flip you above him instead, before he continued to snap his hips, bouncing you into the air.

“T-Toshi, you’re ah- too fast!” You shrieked, barely able to stand upright, the ride too rocky and intense for you. Palming his abdomen to walk your way up despite your movement, he brought you back down flush against his chest again, holding you tightly.

“Let me do the work,” he whispered, kissing you, making your head swim to distract from the fact that he really was rearranging your guts. “I’ll do at least this much, since you’ll be carrying our child.”

And to that promise, you came almost instantly, an impulse of shock traveling from your slippery cunt up that you could almost feel in the tips of your fingers that made your body clench, your toes curl and the sound that came out of your throat less dainty and more primal, coming from so far deep inside you, even you were afraid.

As if on cue, his fingers dug into the flesh of your waist, holding you steady as he pounded into you even further, faster, pushing past fluttering walls and soundless cries coming from your lips, until he finally came with a shudder, spurting thick, hot gobs of liquid that you could feel hitting your cervix.

And it kept coming; he held you tighter, so desperately you thought you might break under his touch, burying his face in your chest - you could feel yourself still clenching around him, so greedy, trying to milk him for even more than the generous amount he was giving you.

It would be a miracle if you weren’t pregnant.

When it finally stopped, he left an arm around your back pressing you close to him, letting out a soft, pleased sigh with lowered eyelids. You stayed against him for longer, cockwarming him, your hands languidly coming to rest on both sides of his face.

Your darling Wakatoshi…

He stayed hard inside you, slowly giving you just one more stroke to atone for the small amount of semen that was already threatening to leak out around him, then laid you on your back.

“You’re doing so well already…” he encouraged, scooping up drops of him spilling out of you. “Keep it all in,” he said breathily, a warm palm pressing on your opening.

“I will, baby,” you nodded, and he gave you another peck on the lips, then moved to one of your mounds to take a pert nipple in his mouth and suck softly.

His hand lingered on your hot cunt, warm and dripping; he instead focused on stimulating your nipples with the other hand and his lips, forcing another orgasm out of you with time and dedication.

He’d obviously read somewhere orgasms themselves made pregnancy more likely. Always so thorough.

“You... f-feel so good,” you mewled, your back arching with pleasure as he used a thumb to stimulate your clit gently as he kept his semen inside you.

He smiled, stroking his already re-hardening cock in his hand, preparing for the next round.

“Anything for my Valentine.”

With that was implied, the love of his life, and the mother of his kids.

#ushijima x reader #ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #not sfw #ushijima smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #mae.writing #fic: november baby

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dhwty-writes · 3 years

Text

The Terribly Sad and Tragic Affair that Is the Fake Funeral of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss

Apparently, I am not only drawing for the Critical Role fandom, but writing for it, too. After months of nearly no progress I just vomited out 3k words this Tuesday and it only went downhill from there.

This fic is based on this post by @anne-o-nyme, I really hope I managed to capture the energy of it.

Have fun!

Summary: There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience.

After the sudden "death" of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, it is his brother Verin's job to empty out his towers. The Mighty Nein show up to help (and maybe steal a few things).

OR: Verin is grieving, Essek just wants his stuff back, and the Mighty Nein are the Mighty Nein.

Warnings: I didn't tag this with MCD, because Essek is technically alive and kicking. Since Verin doesn't know that though, and this fic is written from his POV, this is dealing with grief and includes depictions of depressive thoughts as well as anxiety attacks. For more explicit warnings, please mind the tags on AO3. Take care of yourselves, and let me know if I forgot anything.

Read on AO3

There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience. "Listen," he said with what little calm he had left, "I know that by returning one of our beacons you became heroes of the Dynasty and were placed under Es— My bro— his stewardship. But this here—" he gestured vaguely at the interior of Essek's towers that had always been too cold, too empty, but not like now, never like now— "This is a very difficult situation for me, so if you could please leave, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Yes, yes, it's very sad that Essek died," the blue tiefling said—Jester, her name was Jester; she had given him that already as she had offered him her condolences with a hug—and Verin could barely contain his anger. After the funeral he had quite enough of lying dignitaries, nobles, and heroes currying favours with him. That had always been Essek's thing, he would know what to do, how to make them regret even daring to speak up; Verin had never been any good at it.

"But we're his friends!" He grit his teeth at Jester's blatant falsehood. Perhaps his anger showed on his face, since the tiefling faltered. "And, uh— Fjord?"

"It's true," the half-orc with too-smooth words and too-smooth voice lied, too. "We spent quite some time with your, er— your brother here. Made some good memories. We thought we might take this as our chance to say goodbye, too."

"We are here to help as well. We wouldn't want to infringe upon your grief, though," the tall firbolg added. "So, if you'd prefer us to return at a later point, we'd be happy to."

Verin was still trying to process everything—from these strangers showing up unannounced to their overwhelming presence to the fact that his brother was dead—while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on the halfling who looked like she might have sticky fingers. So, he latched onto the word that stood out the most to him: "Help?"

"Right," Fjord said, looking slightly embarrassed, "we probably should have led with that..."

"We should have called ahead, too," the scary-looking human in blue—they didn't even wear white for the funeral—added. "We always forget to call ahead."

"But Beau, how should we have called ahead?" Jester complained. "We didn't know Verin yet."

"Well, Essek—" the human was interrupted by the even scarier-looking woman next to her stepping on her foot unsubtly. She at least had the decency to act embarrassed. "Right. Sorry 'bout that."

Awkward silence fell across the room, the Mighty Nein looking anywhere but him. It took him a few moments to realise they were waiting for him to speak up. "Help how?" Verin could have kicked himself. By the Light, he could do better than that. He had to do better than that.

A beat of silence followed, then everyone seemed to talk at once. Verin wanted to weep. How was he supposed to deal with this? How had his brother dealt with this? 'He probably hasn't,' he thought. 'They're probably all liars, probably—'

Someone cleared their throat and all eyes turned to the other human who hadn't said anything so far and who looked properly miserable. Immediately, the Mighty Nein fell silent. "Word has reached us that Den Thelyss ordered these premises to be vacated as early as possible," he said quietly with an accent Verin has been taught that belonged to the enemy. "And while some of us may not look like much, I can assure you, we are quite capable."

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "I supposed such menial tasks are beneath the heroes of the dynasty. There are servants—"

"Well, sure," the halfling with the probably sticky fingers interrupted, "but we know him. Knew him, I mean; sorry, force of habit."

"Besides, there's a lot of stuff," the lavender tiefling, who Verin was pretty sure was a known pirate, piped up. "Looks like you could use the help."

"If you want to, of course," the sad Empire human added.

Verin only wanted to scream, to give room to the torrent of thoughts raging in his head. 'My brother just died. My brother just died and he wasn't consecuted, so he's gone for good. He's gone for good and I didn't even know him; I didn't even know about these supposed friends he had because he didn't allow me near him in decades. I was a horrible brother and so was he, but I can't even be mad at him because he's dead.

'And now these liars show up and talk about friendship and knowing him, but those are all lies, horrible ones, because Essek had no friends. Essek was cold and cruel and lonely and do you even know how horrible that is? Dying alone with no-one who mourns you, just the favours you still owe them? Do you? I don't even know, and I'm his brother.'

Were he a weaker man, a less disciplined one, he might have said so. But he was Taskhand Verin of Den Thelyss and he had learned discipline before he had learned to talk. So, he said: "Your help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. I'll have the servants bring up some tea. There are, uh—" He straightened his back, summoning the composure that was befitting a Taskhand, even one with a dead brother. "There are boxes up there, they've been brought to the rooms already. Anything of value will be sold; the rest will be given to charity. The things— Well, if you find anything that might have sentimental value, something in his handwriting, perhaps, I think I should like to keep that, please."

The firbolg nodded sagely. "Of course. We will be careful with our selection."

With that, Verin turned around and— froze. Where was he even supposed to start? The towers had always seemed to huge for just Essek and he knew that there were very few personal belongings in them. Still, they would have to be scoured clean within the fortnight.

A large hand on his shoulder made him jump, although he'd never admit it. "Sometimes, when a task seems too large, you should start with the smallest part," the firbolg said. "If I were you, I'd start with the smallest room."

"Thank you, that, uh— that seems like good advice," Verin replied, still a bit startled and confused. "I, er— I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Caduceus Clay. I live in a graveyard, so I'm used to this," Clay said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Verin furrowed his brows slightly. A graveyard? It seemed highly unlikely to him that one of the heroes of the Dynasty would live in a graveyard of all places. Perhaps they were not only liars, but impostors too? But they had the symbols of the Bright Queen, so there wasn't much that he could say.

"Right," he mumbled. "I believe the smallest room would be the closet. Although it might be tied with the bathroom..." He trailed off again. He had never seen Essek's bedroom in his towers. Judging by how many times he had even seen the inside of the building; he could count himself lucky if he even found the way there.

"Why don't we split up?" Clay suggested. "One group takes the closet, one the bathroom and one the bedroom. We'd get done sooner that way."

"That is a great idea, Caduceus," Jester said excitedly. "I'll take the bathroom; I promised— er, I'm curious if I can find more of that hair oil, I got for Fjord that one time!"

"Ohhh, are you saying this is... an investigation?!" the halfling joined in.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Veth!"

"Seems like a case for Wildemount's best detectives!"

"Bye, Verin!" Jester called and he blinked and they were gone. Fjord joined them as well, muttering something about having to supervise them.

The purple pirate-tiefling shrugged, heading off in the same direction. "Well, I wouldn't mind rifling through some drawers. I'll have a look at that bedroom."

"Yeah, I don't need to see Essek's underwear, so I'll pass on the closet," Beau added tactfully—Verin was getting the sneaking suspicion that manners were not really her strong suit. She linked hands with the large woman at her side, pulling her along. "Come on, Yash."

"I'll go handle the tea," Clay said. "Don't worry about it." He vanished in the direction of the kitchen, his steps accompanied by the constant tap tap tap of his staff.

When Verin looked around, he realised that only the sad Empire human was left with him in the hallway. "If you wouldn't mind," he said, pointedly avoiding eye-contact, "I would love to have a look at the closet. I always, ah— appreciated your brother's sense of fashion."

Verin blinked at him a few times, then shrugged. "Sure." He began heading up the stairs.

"My condolences," the human continued. "I realise I didn't speak up earlier, but— I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he said, letting the same numb feeling wash over him again that he had embraced since the news of Essek's death had reached him.

"I know that we seem like a bunch of, ah— forgive my language, but assholes, but we're really here to help. I will tell the others to tone it down a bit."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"If you'd prefer that we start in, ah— less personal rooms, we can do that also."

"If I'm perfectly honest, I don't even know what I should be doing there."

"Neither am I." The human laughed nervously. "I have dealt with grief before, but I've never had the, ah— how do you call it? Hang on." He pulled out a copper wire and whispered: "Beau, how do you say zweifelhafte Ehre in Common? You can reply to this message." A moment later he straightened. "Right. I never had the dubious honour of emptying out a deceased person's house before."

"Neither did I," Verin admitted. 'Usually, the deceased person comes back,' he didn't say. Instead, he opted for: "You're, er— What's the word in Common? You're weird? I'm sorry if that's insulting, I just— waele xanalressen [stupid languages]."

"I don't understand your words, but I think I understand the sentiment." The man grimaced. "And I've heard that one before. I hope we're not too much of a... too much."

"It's alright," he lied and opened the door to Essek's bedroom.

It wasn't alright; Verin wanted to weep again.

The door to the bathroom stood ajar, as did several drawers and cabinets, although he couldn't glance inside. Considering that he heard glass shatter and a quiet "oops" followed by a hushed "Jester!" he was rather glad about that. Besides, what he saw was already quite enough to handle. Beau was currently rifling through Essek's nightstand, the tall woman tossing unread books on the bed carelessly, while the lavender tiefling seemed to make his way through his brother's collections of make-up and jewellery alike.

They froze when they spotted him and the sad human in the door. "Heeey, Verin," Beau drawled.

"These were all still closed, I swear," the lavender tiefling said immediately, gesturing at the jars in front of them.

Verin just sighed in defeat. "I don't wear any make-up, I don't care; you can have it. Put the jewellery in the box to be sold; the books are for charity if he hasn't read them. Just leave the earrings in front of the mirror, please. Those were his favourites."

Without another glance at them, Verin headed straight to Essek's closet, desperate to get some quiet. He took a few moments to collect himself, before closing the door and leaning his head against it with a heavy thunk.

He stayed like that for a minute or maybe two until he heard someone clear their throat. "I have been debating for the past fifty-five seconds, if I should just Dimension Door out," the sad human said and Verin very nearly jumped out of his skin, "but that would be loud and I didn't want to startle you. Not that I didn't startle you like this but—"

"Vithin shu," Verin cursed.

"Vithin shu ke," the sad human agreed, his accent in Undercommon even heavier than normally.

For a moment, they both stared at each other, equally startled by the course of events. Then, the human looked away again. "I, ah— have started learning Undercommon before, um— well, before." Verin tried very hard to focus on the way the human was scratching at his forearms; that way he had something else to focus on besides his nearing breakdown.

"This is a bit embarrassing, but, ah— I believe I forgot to introduce myself," the human continued. "I'm Caleb Widogast. Essek and I were... friends, yes, and ah— colleagues, of some sort. It's... complicated."

He scratched at his arms again before turning towards the shelves and pulling out a stack of tunics. He unfolded one, looked at it, then carefully folded it again, cast a cantrip to smooth out the wrinkles, and put it in the charity box. Then he repeated the procedure with the next. And the next. And the next.

Verin frowned, thinking for a moment about his words. There was something about them that seemed painfully familiar, although he couldn't quite remember. Then: "The transmutation specialist."

Widogast looked up in surprise. "Yes."

"Essek told me of you," Verin admitted.

The last time they had seen each other had been here, in these towers, just a few months ago. He had found his brother in his office, pouring over notes for a new spell, alive and healthy as ever. As always, he had entered without knocking. As always, he had pretended to read the notes. Not as always, he had noticed something wrong. "Whose handwriting is that?" he had asked.

"What?" Essek had snapped, his head whipping up. Then, however, his expression had softened. "Oh. A friend's. A colleague, of sorts. He's helping me out, a bit."

"With the spell?" Verin had asked incredulously.

"Yes. He's a transmutation specialist; you know that's not my forte. Now give it back, will you?"

"A colleague, huh?" He had grinned and held the paper out of Essek's reach. "Are you sure that's all?"

Perhaps Essek had been sick after all, for the strangest thing had happened: instead of using his floating cantrip to snatch the notes back, he had gotten a dreamy, far-off look in his eyes. He had even smiled with an expression Verin might have called dopey, if it weren't his brother they were talking about. After a few moments, he had snapped out of it, sighed, and said: "It's complicated."

"Did he?" Widogast asked tentatively. "Did he, ah— did he say anything else about me?"

Verin pinned him down with a glare, sizing him up. In hindsight, he should have noticed the thick spellbook at his hip earlier; judging by his slim frame alone, he should have known the man was a wizard. He supposed Widogast was handsome enough, although his brother had never cared much for that, with his copper hair and his striking blue eyes. Blue eyes around which crows' feet were gathering, as he noticed to his dismay. 'He's human,' Verin reminded himself. He might have a few decades left, maybe, whereas Essek had centuries ahead of him. The thought why his brother might condemn himself to more loneliness crossed his mind, though it hardly mattered. His brother had been the first to die, after all.

"Verin?" Widogast inquired quietly.

"I'm sorry," he answered with a thick voice. "I got lost in my thoughts there. He, uhh— he said that he trusted you." That didn't even begin to cover it, but these Mighty Nein had been lying to him since the moment they got here, so what was a little lie by omission? Besides, there were some memories that he wanted to keep just to himself.

"Essek," he had teased, still waving the sheet of paper out his reach. "Come on! Aren't we brothers?"

Essek had crossed his arms and pouted. He hadn't done that since they were both little. "Unfortunately. You are a menace. And a child."

"If you tell me about him, I'll give it back. Is he handsome? Is he a drow? Where's he from? How did you meet? When will I meet him? Can I promise to kill him if he hurts you?"

"Verin!" Essek had groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"What do you do when you meet? I bet you stay up all night, talking about 'arcane research' or something."

"We do, in fact. Are you done now?"

"Oh, is that what young people call it these days?" He had cackled at his own joke.

"Evidently not," Essek had muttered. "Might I remind you that you're younger than me?"

"Might I remind you that you're a buzzkill?" Verin had shot back and placed the note down. He had gotten bored of his own game.

Essek had taken the sheet of paper almost reverently and thanked him. "I would have hated it to rewrite that page." He had smoothed it down, stored it safely away in a folder, silent for a long time. Then, he had said: "Caleb."

"Excuse me?"

"That's his name," Essek had said. "Caleb Widogast."

Verin had frowned. "Hey, Essek?"

"Hm?"

"You must trust him a lot, to share a spell with him."

His brother had taken a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Verin hadn't expected him to answer, yet he'd said: "I do, actually. It's not the first spell we've created together and I would be honoured to create a thousand more with him. I'd trust him with my life, my death, and beyond. I think—" He'd huffed. "I think I trust him almost as much as I trust you."

Verin watched Widogast as he was looking through his brother's tunics, placing most of them in the charity box, and he wondered. Wondered if the trust Essek had obviously put in Widogast had been misplaced. Wondered if it had extended to his friends, as well. Wondered if ultimately trust had been his downfall, as he'd always feared.

Then again, if Essek had trusted him... perhaps that trust had been mutual. Perhaps they had been friends. Perhaps there was another person mourning his brother after all.

"Do I have something on my face?" Verin had given up on counting how many times Widogast had now startled him out of his thoughts.

"No, no I—," Verin stammered. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head to the side. "For staring?"

"No, er— For your loss." Liar or no liar, it only seemed appropriate.

"Oh." Widogast turned back to the tunics. Verin probably should get started, too, shouldn't he? "Thank you. Though I'd wager your loss weighs heavier than mine."

"Probably," he agreed and turned to the task at hand. At this point, Widogast had moved on from the simple tunics to Essek's court regalia. After a short moment of consideration, Verin decided to look through the pants; he also had no interest in sorting through his dead brother's underwear.

Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching the wizard, pulling out one cloak after the other. At a few he wrinkled his nose, at others he just stared before putting them with the tunics. After a while one made him pause; an elaborate, beautiful robe in deep purple. "This is what he was wearing when we first met him," he said.

'He hated that one,' Verin thought. Not that he could say that out loud. Instead, he cocked his head and asked: "Are you sure? He has a lot of those. Had, I mean. Had a lot of those."

"Yeah, I'm sure." He tapped his temple with a faint smile. "I have a good memory."

"As does Essek," he snapped, suddenly feeling very defensive about his brother's capabilities. "I suppose most wizards do."

Infuriatingly, Widogast only nodded. "Indeed. Or they're not very good ones."

Silently, Verin turned back to the trousers. The sooner he got done, the sooner he got these people out of his brother's towers, the better. He didn't know for how long they worked in silence, Verin reminiscing about the times he had seen Essek wear the clothes and wondering about those he didn't know. Eventually, he folded the last of them and forced himself to return to the present. "I think we're done here," he announced. "Do you have a preference for a next room?"

"Perhaps the library?" Widogast offered a tentative smile. "I think I might be of more use there than folding clothes."

"More use than I will be, surely."

"I take it the wizardry doesn't run in the family, then?"

Verin only scoffed and opened the door to the bedroom again.

He immediately spotted Beau leafing through one of the books Essek had never read, while the tiefling was chatting amiably with the aasimar while braiding her hair. He also noted the boxes neatly stacked in the middle of the room. Besides that, he noticed with a heavy heart, the room looked much the same. If anything, it looked less orderly and empty than before. Except for—

"Where are Essek's earrings?" Verin demanded to know.

"What earrings?" the lavender tiefling replied with a too-wide grin the same moment Beau said: "Dude, there's tons of them, why don't—"

"No," he said decisively. "Essek's favourite earrings; they're always up here. I told you about them. Where are they?" His hands curled into fists, his neatly manicured fingernails pressing almost painfully into his skin.

"Perhaps you should look in one of the boxes," the aasimar woman suggested "I'm sure they're—"

"You're lying," Verin interrupted her, barely containing his anger. "Why are you lying? If they're in one of the boxes, then only because you put them there. So: where are they?"

Widogast only now stepped out of the closet, wearing an amber necklace he hadn't noticed before. "Verin—" he said tentatively, but he'd had enough.

"Shut up!" He startled himself with how loud his voice was. But he was beyond caring. "I know they're not in there, because the only ones to put them in there would have been you. So, either you're lying about having them put in there, or you're lying about stealing them, I don't care. Just— please. Please give them back."

The four of them passed a guilty glance. "We can't," Beau replied finally.

"The fuck you can't," Verin spat. "Give them back!"

"Verin, love, we would really love to," the tiefling added, "but we can't."

"I don't understand; is it precious things you want? Here, have some!" He strode over to the boxes and ripped the first open, tossing the lid towards the bathroom door Jester was peeking out of. He reached in to grab a necklace—an ugly one, he had always thought, with a stylised beacon—and threw it in their direction.

Beau caught it. Of course.

"Have a whole box, actually, if you like them so damn much." He reached inside and pulled out a jewellery box, tears prickling in his eyes. He threw one of those, too, just for good measure. It gave him some satisfaction that Widogast had to dodge it. "Just give me back the bloody earrings that my brother wore at my fucking consecution!" He was properly crying now and could only imagine the mess he looked like, but he had reached his limit. And, in his opinion, he was allowed to with all that was going on.

At least they looked a little bit guilty. "Fuck man, we didn't know," Beau mumbled.

"It's just one pair, Beau," Jester called over from the bathroom. "I'm sure it will be alright."

"Yes, there's no need for this to escalate," Fjord agreed and strode over to them, his hands raised innocently.

"I don't even know you people," Verin muttered, looking at the people crowding into his brother's bedroom. "Why did I even let you inside?"

"Do you want the earrings back?" the aasimar woman asked, reaching into a bag at her hip. Had she been carrying a greatsword for the whole time? Verin suddenly noticed how overpowered he was, were he to face all of them. "You can have them back if you want. Here, you can have them back."

"For a moment," Widogast added, slowly drawing closer to him and taking the earrings from the aasimar. He held them out on his flat hand, almost like he had seen soldiers offer treats to horses. His whole demeanour reminded him of someone trying to calm a spooked animal. For some reason, that seemed hilarious to him and he couldn't help the hysterical giggle that escaped his throat.

"Verin, I need you to calm down," he continued. "I know that's easier said than done, but you need your head."

"I think we should all calm down," Clay said from the doorway. And despite being surprised again, he did. It didn't make any sense, but few things these days did.

"Did it work?" the halfling asked. Verin wasn't really sure what she was talking about.

"It did," Clay confirmed.

"Gut," Widogast said and pressed the earrings that had seemed so important a moment ago into Verin's hands. "I think we should maybe go somewhere else, ja? Will you come with me?"

Inadvisable as it might be, if Essek had trusted that man, he should, too. And out of all of the Nein, he seemed to be the most normal one. The one he could see Essek with most. So, he nodded.

"I'll get us back to the kitchen, quickly." Caleb held out his hand and Verin closed his eyes, steeling himself. 'I hate Dimension Door,' was the last thing that crossed his mind before the teleportation spell ripped him away, together with: 'We haven't been to the kitchen, yet.'

Evidently, there went something wrong with the spell. Verin didn't know much about magic, but he knew Dimension Door couldn't transport more than two people. So, when he heard Beau groan and say "Fuck, dude, warn us next time," he knew that something wasn't right.

"You knew about the plan, Beauregard," Widogast replied.

"It doesn't matter," Fjord decided. "Caduceus, do you think you could make tea again? I think the Calm Emotions is about to wear off."

Cautiously, Verin opened one eye, then the other. They were, in fact, standing in a kitchen, as far as he could tell. All of the Mighty Nein were surrounding him. The furniture seemed to have been made for people taller than them; Essek probably would need to float in order to avoid awkwardly climbing onto the chair. The firbolg, however, who was fussing with a teapot, seemed to fit right in. All in all, the interior was very rustic. And very much not in Essek's towers, not that he had ever seen that room, of course.

The panic hit him once more. Verin whirled around to the wizard, instinctively grasping for his sword. "Where the fuck—" he faltered, finding his hip bare. Of course, he hadn't brought it for the funeral. Instead, he opted for just grasping Widogast by the lapels and lifting him up a bit. It was supposed to be menacing, which surely would be more effective, were humans not so annoyingly tall. "Where the fuck are we?!" he spat out.

A lot of things seemed to happen at once—he heard a "Fuck, man, what-" from Beau, a "Well, Mister Thelyss" from the pirate, several hands trying to tug him away from the weak wizard—but he didn't pay them any mind. He just shook Widogast, who looked entirely too calm for his liking, and demanded: "Answer me!"

"Leave him," was all Widogast said. "He has every right to be angry."

Indeed, the people grasping at him retreated, still on guard and surrounding him. There was a creak outside the door and Verin desperately wished for his sword once more. Then, a voice cut through the tense silence that had descended over the kitchen: "Caleb, is that you? You're back early."

"Yeah, there were some complications. Best come and look yourself, Schatz."

There was a sigh that was entirely too familiar for Verin's liking. Then, the door opened with a creak and in walked a dead man. "Complications," Essek Thelyss said with a fond smile. "I was just a Sending away, what did you come here fo— oh."

The person wearing his brother's face stopped in their tracks as they saw him. A couple of complicated emotions passed over his face—confusion, surprise, regret, guilt. If he hadn't known before, Verin was certain now that they were impostors, all of them. His brother would never tolerate such a display of weakness. Still, the impostor said: "Hello, brother."

Verin whipped his head back around to the wizard in his grasp. "What the fuck are you playing at?" he hissed.

"I- what- Verin!" the Essek-impostor sputtered. "What are you doing; put him down!"

"I would appreciate that, yes," Widogast added.

"Not before you don't tell me what's going on."

"Going on?" The impostor sneered and shook his head in a perfect imitation of his brother. "Nothing is going on, Verin."

"You died," he accused him.

"Evidently not," Essek scoffed.

Verin narrowed his eyes, looking from the man claiming to be his brother over the other too calm wizard to the rest of the Nein, seemingly perfectly happy to let this play out. "Prove it," he demanded. "Tell me something only my brother would know."

"You've become paranoid," he noted and Verin couldn't decide if it sounded proud or disappointed. "Alright. When you and I were in our early thirties, you once got in trouble for scaling the outside of mother's mansion. Rightfully, I should have gotten in trouble, too, but I was hiding on the attic. And the reason you never told anyone, is because then you'd have had to explain that I, the wizard, had somehow outpaced you, the fighter, in a climbing competition."

Verin wrinkled his nose at that. "Well, my brother cheated."

"I did not cheat, thank you very much!" He huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You didn't say 'no magic' before we started."

He stared at Essek for a few moments. "It's you," he whispered.

"Obviously."

Verin dropped the wizard on the ground and looked over at his brother; really looked. The man looked nothing like the one he had known for most of his life. His hair was longer than it had ever been since he'd cut it off and his bare feet were touching the ground. His clothes were casual, a simple tunic and trousers. After this day, Verin knew for a fact that not even Essek's trancing clothes were that informal, and yet his brother looked more comfortable in them in another's house than he had in decades. On top of that, he kept glancing over to Widogast. And smiling. Essek was smiling.

No, this man looked nothing like the one Verin had known for nearly a century. But he looked a lot like his brother.

"You're alive," he said stupidly.

"Yes, of course I am," Essek said, as if Verin hadn't just attended his funeral.

It felt only right to tell him so: "Why are you alive? I was at your funeral."

"That's a long story," he sighed and floated onto one of the chairs that were slightly too tall for him. He accepted a cup of tea from Clay with thanks and turned back to Verin. "Why are you here?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story, too," Jester spoke up. "He kind of started freaking out about your earrings, I think? And he was crying and looking pretty awful and everything, right Caleb?"

"I, ah— didn't think he'd believe us if we told him about you," Caleb said. "So, we had agreed beforehand to bring him here, in case of an emergency."

"He thought we were lying," Clay added.

"I suppose it is my story to tell," Essek said. "Earrings, Verin?"

"They're your favourite," Verin said stupidly and held them out to him.

His face grew soft. "Oh," he said as he took them gingerly, "I didn't know that you kne—"

Before he could overthink and do something stupid like stop himself, he surged forward and enveloped his brother in a tight hug. After a moment Essek closed his arms around him, too.

It seemed so unreal, to be able to hold him after mourning him for what felt like years. All the worries, all the grief and anger that had crushed him in the past few weeks and for what? For the bastard to still be alive after all. It wasn't fair. Why had he had to go through all of that? And why did he feel the pressing urge to start crying again? He should be happy, shouldn't he, that his brother wasn't dead. So why did it make him feel so awful?

"I think this is our cue to leave," Fjord said. Verin felt his brother nod and heard the Mighty Nein shuffle out of the kitchen, the door closing behind them with a creak.

Only then, Essek spoke up. "Verin," he asked quietly, "are you crying?"

"Shut up," he mumbled through the thick fog of tears and snot, definitely not crying. "I hate you, Essek. Do you know what I went through?"

"Meeting the Mighty Nein? Yes, I can imagine."

"They're horrible," he complained. "They're loud and they're rude and they had absolutely no respect for any of your belongings! I thought I was going mad."

"They are. They also are my friends, you know."

"How?" he asked agonised.

"I know they don't look like it, but they are surprisingly capable. And I am sure that you've noticed most of them to be annoyingly charming. But I think their absolute worst traits are their infinite stubbornness and perseverance. They quite literally did not leave me alone until they had befriended me."

Verin glanced up at him questioningly. "And were half in love with the wizard?" he guessed.

Essek scowled darkly, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "Perhaps."

He snorted and disentangled himself from their embrace. Very calmly he said: "You're a liar."

Essek looked genuinely startled at that. "What?"

"You said, you trusted me more than him. Why then, did he know and I didn't?"

"It's... complicated," he said.

"You wizards say that a lot."

"Verin." Essek closed his eyes. "I trust you. Implicitly. And I care about you. Which is why I chose not to burden you with the knowledge of my misdeeds. I didn't— I didn't want to put you in an impossible situation to choose between me and our queen."

He laughed nervously. "What on earth are you talking about? I mean, you didn't commit treason or anything."

Essek didn't answer, avoiding eye-contact instead.

"Right?"

Still, Essek kept stubbornly quiet.

"Oh," Verin breathed. He took a moment trying to reconcile what he knew about his brother with the fact that he was apparently a traitor. It all fit together ridiculously easy. "The beacons."

Essek looked up at him in shock and he knew he had hit the mark. "What?"

"You stole the beacons." Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. Essek had been studying them at the time, one of the only people with frequent access to them. He had always been fascinated by them, yet his theories had been rejected for their heretic nature. As Shadowhand, he had also regular contact with counterparts from the Empire, albeit not officially. Then, a few years after Essek’s research had been denied, they had vanished. How had he never seen this before?

"Oh Essek...," he said softly.

"No, please— I don’t—Please don’t—” He seemed to deflate, curling in on himself. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you, I—”

"I don't care,” Verin interrupted his frantic ramblings.

"What?" Essek looked up at him, looking just as shocked as Verin felt.

“I don’t care,” he repeated, realising that it was true the moment the words left his mouth. For how could he care about something as trivial as treason when Essek was sitting right in front of him, alive and well. "You're my brother, I don't care. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a year. Maybe in ten. Right now, I only care that you're alive."

“I—What—I don’t—” Essek stuttered, lifting and then lowering his hands a few times. “I don’t know how— If I can—Fuck.”

There was a joke on the tip of his tongue, but even he knew that this wasn’t the right time for it. Essek was obviously trying to tell him something and it took him a minute to decipher that strange behaviour. “Are you asking for a hug?” he hazarded a guess.

An agonised expression passed over his face and for a moment Verin thought there were tears gathering in his brother’s eyes. Surely not. “I don’t know if I may. I don’t mean to overstep—”

Without further ado, Verin stepped forward and gathered a yelping Essek up and squeezed him tightly. “Of course you may!” he assured him, awkwardly patting his shaking shoulders. “I love you, Essek. I am very glad that you’re alive.”

“I’m very glad to see you, too,” Essek answered and squeezed him a little tighter.

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mercurygguk · 4 years

Text

cockblocked. (m) | jjk

➵ summary; in which a pair of best friends are hopelessly in love with one another but they’re both too dumb to realize, even when everyone around them are dropping hints every five minutes. or alternatively; “you’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back.”

pairing; jeongguk x f. reader

word count; 15.8k

rating; 18+

content; roommates au + friends (idiots) to lovers, smut/fluff/angst

warnings; mentions of alcohol, swearing, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, cum eating, oral sex (f. receiving), stupid jeongguk and stupid reader

a/n; i’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for so long with the ultimate boyfriend version of gguk, so i started writing with this gguk in mind. i hope you like it! ALSO, this is heavily unedited, so ignore any typos thx – enjoy!

find drabbles related to this fanfic through this tag !!

Music is blaring through the speakers, shaking your body as you stand against the wall, watching people get shitfaced and stick their tongues down each other’s throats. There’s an untouched drink in your hand. It’s lukewarm by now and definitely tasting way worse than when it was made. You hate yourself for always saying yes to joining your friends at this type of scene. Quite simply, you hate every single thing about parties at frat houses. The music is shit, it’s nothing compared to your own favorite chill playlist filled with ballads and old classics. The alcohol smells and tastes like crap, and it doesn’t get you nearly as drunk as it should. To top it all off, your friends had left you alone for two random guys, so in conclusion, this night could’ve been better but it could’ve been much worse as well you suppose. It’s not like you’ve done anything stupid, so really, what’s the problem?

It’s not even that late when you decide to make your way upstairs. There must be a quieter place in this huge house where you can sit in silence until you deem it acceptable to leave again. But as you push your way past couples practically having sex on the staircase, you realize that all rooms are most likely taken. Maybe you should just leave now? You chuckle at your own situation. You haven’t even been here for two hours and you’re already planning on going home again. You shake your head to yourself as you continue your walk upstairs. It won’t hurt to see if you just happen to be lucky enough to find an empty room in this gigantic house.

The first room you come across seems quiet as you press your ear against the door’s surface. You take the chance and grab the handle before pushing yourself inside. You stop in your tracks when one of the two in there turns to look at you, the other one sitting with their head down a bucket. You grimace as you back out of the room, closing the door behind you. The smell of puke haunts you as you move on to the next door.

“Last room better be empty,” you whisper to yourself after checking almost every single room upstairs. You push yourself inside without a single warning to those who may be on the other side of the door. The scene in front of you doesn’t surprise you at all as you stay in the doorway. The pair stops their actions upon your presence.

“I swear that’s the seventh person to barge in here!” The girl, who was being grinded on by the dude on top of her, whines. The guy turns his head to look at you, a glare evident even though it’s mostly dark in the room. “And suddenly I’m not in the mood anymore,” the girl groans as she pushes Mr. Fuckboy off her, “see you around, Jeon.”

You watch with an amused smirk as the girl yanks her shirt off the ground, slipping it on and pushing past you out of the room, her shoulder bumping against yours. You chuckle to yourself, wondering why some girls just had to be like that. The guy you now know as ‘Jeon’ gets up from the bed, turning to face you fully. He’s not wearing a shirt which allows you to see the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. His pants are unzipped and his belt is unbuckled, and yet he doesn’t seem fazed at all. You cock a brow at him as he finally notices and reaches down to zip his pants and buckle his belt.

“Thanks for cockblocking me by the way,” ‘Jeon’ shoots at you, making you scoff and cross your arms over your chest.

“Well, it’s not entirely my fault,” you defend yourself, gesturing to the door beside you, “you could’ve just locked the door.”

He chuckles at your defensive tone as he grabs his sweatshirt off the floor. He slips it over his head, messing his black, curly hair up even more than it was before. That girl must’ve had a good grip on it for it to look like such a mess in this very moment.

“Why are you even in here?” Jeon asks, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. It tames it a bit, you think to yourself as you watch it fall back onto his forehead and slightly into his eyes. Not bothering to answer his question, you decide on stepping further into the room, making your way to the balcony that happened to be in this exact room. Jeon watches you as you open the doors and head outside into the chilly night air. He follows behind, joining you on the balcony. Why he does so wonders the both of you. He leans on the railing beside you, looking at the side of your face. “Party not fun enough?”

You chuckle. “Just not my typical scene,” you tell him, glancing at him.

The stranger, who goes by ‘Jeon’ so far, is still looking at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What is your typical scene then?”

This dude’s sudden interest in you doesn’t go unnoticed by you, so you decide to finally look at him fully instead of the drunk people on the front lawn below you.

“Somewhere quieter, somewhere you’re actually able to talk to people,” you explain to him, “and if there’s food, even better!”

This makes him laugh lightly, a glint in his eyes that makes your stomach tingle in a funny way. “A foodie then?”

You nod, a wide smile on your face. “Huge foodie.”

“What’s your name?” He asks, seeming genuinely interested in knowing it. “I’m Jeongguk.”

“___,” you tell him, “it’s nice to meet you, Jeongguk.”

He grins, a bunny smile appearing and you can’t help but think about how ridiculously cute he actually is. And yet still a fuckboy, without a doubt.

“Nice to meet you too, ___.”

You both watch the drunk people below in silence. You wonder what he’s thinking about. Does he think the same about these people as you or is he usually one of them? Maybe he’s one of those people who attends every single frat party. But he doesn’t seem to be very drunk at the moment. You’re about to ask him when he turns to look at you, eyes slightly wide with a glint in them as if he just thought of something brilliant.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” He suddenly asks. You squint your eyes at him, wondering what place he possibly could be thinking about. “I know this great place that has really good frozen yoghurt.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh, “you want frozen yoghurt at almost 1 am?”

He nods, a boyish smile on his face. “Yeah, why not? This party sucks aaaand you totally cockblocked me, so I see no reason to stay here anymore.”

Rolling your eyes, you chuckle at his attempt to make you feel guilty once again. “I stand my ground,” you snicker, “you could’ve just locked the door, dumbass.”

Jeongguk shrugs it off, a tiny smirk appearing on his lips. “So, is that a yes?”

You purse your lips, pretending to think about his question when in reality you had made up your mind the second he mentioned frozen yoghurt. Food is never questioned, you always say yes when your friends ask, and now also when Jeongguk asks. You nod, smiling widely.

“Yeah, frozen yoghurt sounds really good, actually.”

Jeongguk grins, grabs your hand before pulling you back inside and out of the room. A mild tingle erupts in your stomach as you look down at how tightly his hand is gripping yours. You shake the thoughts from your head as you follow behind, letting him guide you downstairs to where the party is still ongoing. He pushes his way through the crowd of people, glancing back at you once in a while to make sure you’re still with him. Were you really just about to leave this party, leave your friends behind to get frozen yoghurt with a complete stranger? Guess so. Were you starting to regret saying yes? Surprisingly, no.

As you ride with the bus to the downtown part of the city, you learn a few things about Jeongguk. He tells you that he’s majoring in photography and that his camera is his most prized possession, he tells you about how he’s a huge gym rat and that he’s basically living his life at the gym when he isn’t studying or running around with his camera. You learn that Jeongguk loves food more than anything and that he’s quite a chef himself (but you also learn that he isn’t one to brag, so you basically had to force it out of him). He also tried to assure you that he wasn’t a fuckboy, which you had claimed him to be when you interrupted him in that bedroom. You only laugh it off, patting him on the shoulder as if to tell him it’s okay, that you don’t judge him for whatever sex life he’s living.

You find yourself enjoying his company more than you had expected to, laughing more than you ever would’ve at the frat party. Even at some point throughout the bus ride, your one leg had somehow managed to rest over his thigh, his hand on it as if it’s the most normal position for the two of you. And there’s not a single moment of awkward silence during the entire trip to that frozen yoghurt place which Jeongguk had been gushing about since you got on the bus.

“Why is this place even open so late?” You ask as Jeongguk holds the door open for you. You walk inside the shop, him following right behind. Before Jeongguk can answer your question, you gasp loudly as you take in the size of the place Jeongguk brought you to. He chuckles from beside you, grabbing your hand once again to pull you to the yoghurt machines. Your mouth is agape in amazement as you grab a cup, starting to mix different flavours. “Jeongguk, there’s too many flavours! How am I supposed to make one without having to pay a shit ton of money?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes scrunching together and pearly white teeth showing. “I guess that means we have to visit again soon?” He says, more like a question than a statement.

You nod excitingly, making him laugh once again.

Jeongguk ends up paying for yours even after you fight him on it, but he didn’t take no for an answer and left you to watch as he paid for both cups of yoghurt, yours ending up more expensive than you had intended.

“Thanks, that was really kind of you,” you softly tell him as he hands you your cup, playfully glaring at him as he does so. “It’s on me next time.”

He shrugs it off, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about it, ___.”

You seat yourselves inside a booth, eating your frozen yoghurt in comfortable silence. Jeongguk finishes it rather quickly causing you to widen your eyes at his empty cup. You’re about to tell him he’ll end up with a brain freeze but the said brain freeze beats you to it. You watch as Jeongguk brings a hand to his forehead, groaning in agony.

“Fuck,” he swears, “wasn’t thinking about this when I shoved that down.”

You laugh, grimacing yourself as he grimaces in pain. After a while, it stops and Jeongguk rubs his forehead with a sigh.

“You good?” You ask as you try to stifle another laugh. He nods, glaring at you and then the empty cup in front of him. Pushing it to the side, you chuckle. “It’s not the yoghurt’s fault, Jeongguk.”

He sighs deeply as he leans back in his seat, watching you as you finish yours. You glance at him occasionally, offering him a small smile once in a while as well. His eyes are captivating in a way, dark brown irises and long lashes. You can’t hold his stare for long without feeling like he’s seeing right through you and reading everything there’s going on inside your head. A tiny crush is starting to develop at the bottom of your stomach, but you try to ignore it, not wanting to go in that direction right now.

“You never told me about yourself,” he then says, catching your attention once again as he leans over the table. You look at him, confused. “It was just me talking about myself on the way here and we never got to talk about you.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, “well, there isn’t much to tell.”

Jeongguk scoffs with a chuckle. “Come on, there has to be something.”

You think for a bit, trying to think about what you can tell him that could possibly be interesting for Jeongguk to hear about. “But what do you wanna know?” You ask him, smiling.

“Mhm,” he hums, “well, first of all, what’s your major?”

“English,” you answer.

He nods at that. “Favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

“Favorite animal?”

Without thinking, you smile and answer: “Bunnies.”

You swear you see Jeongguk’s cheeks redden as the word leaves your mouth. You smile to yourself, resting your chin in your palm as you watch him, his cheeks flushed. He rubs his chin, searching for another question.

“Ah! Celebrity crush?”

“Gong Yoo,” you sigh, dreamy gaze with what you’d call a real-life ‘heart eyes’ emoji expression on your face. Across from you, Jeongguk is pretending to gag. You swat at him, giggling lightly. “Shut up! You’re just jealous.”

“Never,” he retorted quickly, making you smirk slightly. “Okay, last question.”

You wait, anticipating something but not sure what exactly.

“Can I have your number?”

There’s nothing to do to stop the blush that colors your cheeks as you nod, smiling at him for being so damn smooth. He hands you his phone with a small smile, you type his phone number in and hand him his phone back. Jeongguk laughs as he notices how you put your name in his phone; ‘cockblocker <3′

“I’m glad we did this,” he suddenly says, his expression a serious but soft one. You nod in agreement.

“Me too,” you tell him, meaning it. This night turned out way better than you had expected, and it was all because you happened to cockblock Jeon Jeongguk.

You run around your dorm room with a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair all over the place as you try to figure out where you left your phone. Your phone is currently ringing and you know without a doubt who it is, but you can’t answer him because you might have lost it in the pile of clothes on your bed and floor.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you hiss to yourself repeatedly as you rummage through the clothes, the ringing of your phone becoming more persistent if that’s even possible. Then it stops ringing before you have the chance to locate it. You continue to look as you sigh, knowing it will most likely ring again in a few seconds. But it doesn’t. Instead there’s a knock on your door. You glance down at your body.

“Great, still naked,” you groan to yourself and move to the door, opening it and revealing your curly-haired best friend (who may you mention looks exceptionally good in his ripped blue jeans, black hoodie and white sneakers). He marches into your room before you even get to greet him. You close the door after him before turning to look at him. You grip the towel tightly, terrified it will fall if you let go. And cause a very awkward situation for you and Jeongguk.

“What’s taking you so long? We have to-” Jeongguk stops as he turns to face you, just now realising you’re only wrapped in a towel and not fully dressed at all. “Oh.”

Your lips turn into a straight line, nodding. “Yep.”

His cheeks turn a slight red color as he quickly turns back around, his back to you. “Sorry,” he then says. You laugh at his embarrassment, clearly not as fazed about this as him. And he’s supposed to be the girl magnet, you think to yourself.

“Calm down, Gguk. I decided to let you in even though I’m basically naked, so really, don’t worry about it.”

He glances at you over his shoulder, not even slightly discreet about the way he looks you up and down. You feel your cheeks slightly heat up, noticing the way his eyes linger on your hand which is still clutching the towel tightly. It has been almost 9 months since you met Jeongguk at the frat party and there has been a slight tension of something you can’t quite decipher ever since. There have been more than several moments like these where Jeongguk is staring at you a bit too long or his touch lingers on you for a while longer than they probably were supposed to. You always shrug it off, not thinking too much of it because it’s probably all in your head anyway.

Jeongguk sits himself down on your bed, gesturing to the bathroom. “Well, get dressed already. Jimin’s performance is in like 30 minutes.”

“Right!” You shriek, now remembering what the purpose of your shower was.

Jimin is Jeongguk’s best friend from high school and is a year ahead of you and Jeongguk at the same college. Jimin is a dance major, doing all kinds of dances varying from hiphop to contemporary and so on. He’s truly talented and even more of a sweetheart. You met him one night a few months back when you joined Jeongguk and his group of friends at a karaoke bar. You hit it off with Jimin in particular that night, and your friendship has only been getting better ever since.

Jeongguk watches with a lopsided smile as you scurry back to the bathroom to dry your hair. You haven’t even decided on an outfit yet. “What do I even wear?”

On your bed, Jeongguk is looking through your clothes. He holds up a red skirt without thinking, just simply liking the color of it.. “What about this?” He calls out to you, having no idea at all what you could possibly wear to go see a dance performance. You open the bathroom door slightly to look at him and the piece of clothing in his hand.

“A flaming red miniskirt?” You question, raising a single eyebrow at him. He catches your tone and drops it to the floor, looking for something else.

He tries again as he holds up a pair of light denim jeans with a cute, hesitating smile on his face. “Jeans?”

You grin, nodding, “much better.”

The place is crowded once you and Jeongguk arrive at the theatre where Jimin is going to perform. You look around, trying to see if you can spot Jimin. You want to wish him good luck before he gets on stage. Just as you locate him, he looks up and locks eyes with you. You wave excitingly, grabbing Jeongguk’s arm and pulling him towards his own best friend. Jeongguk lets you drag him along with a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Jimin beamed, hugging you tightly. You smile as Jimin gives you a light squeeze before pulling away.

Jeongguk grins at his best friend. “We wouldn’t miss it, hyung.”

Jimin pats Jeongguk on the shoulder in an appreciative manner. “Well, take a seat. The show is starting in 15 minutes or so,” he gestures to the seats, “I have to get backstage before the stylists have my ass for not being ready on time.”

You chuckle, not surprised that Jimin is one to always struggle with being on time. It has happened once or twice before.

“Good luck!” You make sure to tell him. Beside you, Jeongguk offers his hyung an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. Jimin gives your hand a squeeze before heading off to backstage. You both watch him run off, the stylist already smacking his arm as she tells him to sit down. You glance at Jeongguk who’s already laughing because of his best friend. “Where do you wanna sit?” You ask him.

He shrugs, “you decide, I’m happy anywhere.” You nod and purse your lips, looking over the theatre.

“Let’s just sit here,” you point to the seats right beside you. Jeongguk agrees, his hand coming up to rest against the small of your back as to tell you to sit first. Your skin tingles underneath your shirt at his touch, his hand strong but soft on you and lingering a tad bit longer than necessary. You sit down, Jeongguk plopping down beside you. His hand is resting on the armrest between the two of you and it takes all in you to not let your own rest on top of his.

To say your crush on Jeongguk had become less and less the past 9 months would be a total lie. If anything, it has only become worse and yet you can’t get yourself to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s still the ‘Jeon’ you met at the party almost a year ago, his fuckboy tendencies coming through once in a while and you’ve seen girls leave his room in the morning when you’d arrive at his place to hang out. And it hurt slightly every single time but you’ve never considered telling him why it hurts. He doesn’t even know it hurts you. But then again, here he is on a Saturday night, spending his evening with you to watch Jimin’s dance performance when in reality, he has seen Jimin perform multiple times. More times than he can count and it’s nothing new to him. He could be balls deep in some random girl right now and yet he’s here. With you. And his leg is brushing against yours, his shoulder is also touching you. It would be so easy to just tangle your fingers through his but your insecurities and doubt stop you from doing anymore. You sigh deeply, leaning back in your seat.

Jeongguk notices the heavy sigh you let out, looking at you with slight worry in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

You nod, offering him a soft smile. “Yeah, just a bit tired,” you answer him, a small yawn escaping your lips. It was partly true. You can tell he doesn’t quite believe you but decides against it, not wanting to push you into telling him.

Jimin’s performance starts right then. The lights dimmed down as he appears on stage along with a group of other people, his dance team that consists of other guys. Some of them are also Jeongguk’s friends; Taehyung and Hoseok. You watch with wide, exciting eyes, feeling very proud of Jimin for finally doing this performance when you know how much he has been working on it and how time consuming it has been for him. What you don’t notice throughout the entire performance is that Jeongguk is occasionally watching you instead of the performance, his heart beating just a tad bit faster whenever you almost catch him.

When Jimin finishes and bows to the crowd, you stand up for an applause, smiling widely as he thanks everyone by bowing one more time and then heading off stage.

Jeongguk taps your shoulder, motioning his head as if to tell you to leave. “Let’s go find him,” he says over the music that’s still playing. You nod, grabbing your things and following right behind. You squeal, happy and excited as you spot Jimin by the stage. He turns around just as you reach him, engulfing him in a tight hug. Jeongguk stands by behind you, watching you hug the living shit out of his best friend. It doesn’t feel right, he thinks to himself.

“You were amazing!” You cheered, squeezing him tightly as he did to you earlier. He laughs at your gushing excitement as you pull apart, thanking you and flashing you that charming smile of his.

Jimin glances at Jeongguk, smiling lips falling into a straight line. You don’t notice but Jeongguk is glaring at Jimin and Jimin knows exactly why. He scratches the back of his head, glancing back at his team before looking back at you and Jeongguk.

“We, um, we’re headed to a bar downtown. You guys wanna join?”

You look at Jeongguk briefly before smiling at Jimin, nodding, “sure.”

“Great! We’re leaving in a few, I just need to pack up my stuff,” Jimin grins and heads over to his team. You spot two people that you know — Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung caught your eye a lot during the performance, his mop of curly black hair stood out a lot and the way he was so into the performance and the mood of the songs. Truly mesmerising.

Jeongguk clears his throat beside you, letting you know that he’s still right beside you. Your cheeks heat up at the possible chance of being caught ogling a bit too long at Taehyung.

“Let’s go,” you pipe up, leaving Jeongguk’s side to go find Jimin again. The tension that’s starting to form is too intense for you right now. You feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you as you walk away and up to Jimin. Jeongguk’s heart drops a little when he can tell that you decide to walk with Jimin all the way to the bar downtown. He doesn’t get to stand there and grumble too long because Hoseok and Taehyung are quick to pull him along, dragging him in the same direction you and Jimin left in.

Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody to Jeongguk as he watches you from his seat at the bar, laughing at something Taehyung says to you. You’ve been sitting beside Taehyung for the past two hours, laughing and having a good time which is great but Jeongguk doesn’t like how close to you Taehyung is sitting and he certainly doesn’t like the way you have to touch Taehyung’s arm every time you laugh at something he says. Jeongguk takes a swig of his beer as Jimin plops down on the seat beside him. Jimin follows his line of sight, sighing deeply once he realizes what has caused him to become so quiet.

“Dude, you’re gonna burn holes in their skulls if you keep staring like that,” Jimin calls out, snapping Jeongguk out of his own thoughts.

Jeongguk sighs, taking his eyes off you and Taehyung. “Yeah,” he trails off.

Eyeing him carefully, Jimin places a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just go talk to her?” He suggests, the tone sounding hesitant.

Jeongguk glances at Jimin. “You know I can’t do that,” he grumbles, turning his back to you and Taehyung, facing the bar instead.

Jimin nods as he remembers why. “Sure, but can you explain it to me again? I still don’t see the point.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair only for it to fall back into his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, he thinks to himself.

“I can’t tell her how I feel because that’d ruin our friendship and I’d rather have her be my friend than nothing at all,” he explains to Jimin as if it’s obvious. And it was true. Jeongguk’s straight up terrified that you’ll find out how he really feels about you and then proceed to end your friendship. It’s a risk he isn’t willing to take, maybe someday but just not yet.

Jimin hums to himself. “What if she feels the same then?” Jeongguk stays silent. “Ever thought about that possibility?”

Shaking his head, he sighs, almost sounding like he has given up on you already. “Listen, I just know that she doesn’t. She wouldn’t be over there with Tae right now if that was the case- Ow! What the hell was that for?”

He rubs the back of his head, pouting lightly at his best friend. Jimin shakes his head. “You’re dumber than I thought,” he concludes before getting up from his seat and heading back to the table where the rest of his dance team is sitting.

Jeongguk slumps in his seat, dropping his head into his hand. Jimin is right; he really is dumb. But as he glances back at you and sees the wide smile on your face, the same smile he can get out of you with his stupid jokes and goofy faces, he just knows that he wouldn’t be able to live without you even if it meant he got to tell you how he really feels. Jeongguk turns his back to the scene that is you and Taehyung again, finishing his bottle of beer before ordering a new one.

It isn’t even him who walks you home to your dorm that night. Taehyung gets the chance and swoops right in, offering to walk you home. You let him without hesitation and Jeongguk can only stand back, watching you walk off with Taehyung by your side. And it doesn’t go unnoticed, neither by him or Jimin, that you also forgot to hug your best friend goodnight. Jimin offers Jeongguk an apologetic smile, patting his shoulder and wishing him a good night before heading home with Hoseok, who’s also his roommate besides being his teammate.

Jeongguk is pretty sure everyone who passes by him on his way home can hear the sound of his heart breaking a bit more for every step he takes. But what does it matter? You don’t want this broken heart anyway.

“I’m thinking about moving out of the frat house.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and you choke on the coffee Jeongguk had just served you, coughing lightly and holding a “one second” hand up to Jeongguk who looks at you worried. Once your coughing dies down, you look at him, still surprised.

“You what?”

Jeongguk chuckles in his seat across from you. “I don’t feel like staying at the frat house anymore,” he shrugs, “I earn enough from working here to find my own place.”

Jeongguk’s little part time job at the campus café actually does pay him a good amount of money, but you wouldn’t expect anything else since he’s here more than he’s in class. The hours he dedicates to this place also gives him the right to chill in a booth with you during his shift because the owner of the shop gives him that much freedom. He has her hooked around his little finger and she doesn’t even know it. You smile at the thought, knowing very well that every single woman — old and young — would let Jungkook do whatever he wants after being flashed that charming smile of his. You guess that’s just the way his charms work.

“What’s on your mind?” Jeongguk asks, tapping your forehead to get you back to earth.

Your cheeks turn pink, “sorry.”

Jeongguk smiles at you, eyes glinting like they always do behind that long hair. “Actually, I already found a place I would like to rent, it’s not far from campus and it’s the perfect size even though it’s a 3-bedroom apartment,” he tells you. You smile, happy for him.

“That’s great, Gguk!” You beamed. “I’m happy for you.”

He did say 3-bedroom apartment though. Does that mean he’ll get himself a roommate? Your head fills with possible options for a roommate for him. Jimin could be a good one, but he already lives off campus with Hoseok. Taehyung lives by himself in a studio apartment, so that wasn’t an option either. He could ask that other guy he sometimes hangs out with, that one from his photography class and his frat house too. Namjoon, was it? You purse your lips, several faces showing up in your mind. Jeongguk clears his throat across from you, bringing you back once again.

“You’re zoning out a lot today,” he states, concern covering his face. You chuckle.

“I was just thinking about who you could ask to be your roommate,” you tell him and Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak up but you continue, “most of your friends already live off campus but you could ask that Namjoon fella, he still lives in the frat house, right?”

Jeongguk nods.

“He seems like a nice guy,” you ponder, finger tapping your chin. “You could just find some stranger too, but that’s quite a risk, isn’t it? Personally, I would prefer someone I know already, but you do you.”

You hear him sigh in defeat as you ramble on. “Or what about-”

Jeongguk cuts you off. “I already know who I’m gonna ask,” he blurts.

“Oh.” You fall silent.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk says, “she’s rambling her ass off right now and she does that a lot to be honest, so I don’t know if I still wanna ask her.”

Your cheeks are burning as Jeongguk smirks at you, knowing very well that you’re aware he’s talking about you. Composing yourself, you sit upright in your seat. “Well, what if she doesn’t wanna move out of her dorm?”

Jeongguk chuckles sarcastically. “Oh, but she does,” he snickered, “with the amount of times she has complained about the shitty shower in her room, I’m convinced she’s just waiting for the opportunity to get out of there.”

“Am not!” You defend yourself even though you know he’s right.

Jeongguk laughs. “Shut up.”

You cross your arms over your chest, pretending to be offended but you can’t hold the act for long as you burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I really do hate that shower.”

“Thought so,” Jeongguk smirks lightly. He stands from his seat, knowing he has to get back to work before the customers think he’s some lazy barista. He offers you another one of those charming smiles of his. “You’re my best friend, ___. I can’t imagine anyone else in that room other than you. So just think about it, yeah?”

You nod, smiling. You watch him walk off, heading for the cashier. He moves around the counter, patting the other cute barista boy (he’s a sophomore and he basically idolizes Jeongguk) on the shoulder as he passes by him and continues out to the back of the café. You turn back to your laptop and books, smiling to yourself as you take another sip of your coffee, made (with a tiny amount of love, but you don’t know that) by Jeongguk.

You don’t get too much time to yourself and your assignment before a certain dancer slips into the seat Jeongguk was in previously. You glance up at Jimin, who’s smiling slyly at you. You give him a confused but curious look, closing your laptop screen. “What?”

He nods his head in Jeongguk’s direction. “Did he ask you?”

“Asked me what?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.”

You shrug. “He did,” you squint at him as he cheers, clapping his hands.

“Well,” he gushes, “did you say yes?” His excitement is bouncing off the walls as he leans over the table. You’re close to getting a whiplash from his quickly changing expression as you watch his face fall not even two seconds later. “Did you say no? Why?”

You shake your head, not able to keep up with him. “Calm down, will you? I didn’t even get to answer you.”

Jimin breathes out and slumps back in his seat. “Sorry,” he pouts but grins nevertheless, “I’m just excited.”

“You don’t say,” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t give him an answer yet, he told me to think about it.”

Across from you, Jimin smiles at you - his smile hinting at something. You let out a small groan. “Jimin! I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not gonna do it.”

“What?” Jimin exclaims, hands up in surrender. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Now it’s your time to roll your eyes because yes, you do in fact know what he’s about to say. Jimin has been pestering you ever since he met you about the fact that you’re ‘pining’ after Jeongguk, your feelings on your sleeve and obvious to anyone around you, except for Jeongguk. The fact that you haven’t even told Jimin how you feel about Jeongguk just shows how well Jimin reads people and apparently you’re like an open book, especially to Jimin. Not to certain others.

“Have you ever thought about the possibility that he might like you too?” Jimin questions you, the same question he asked Jeongguk at the bar the other night. You nod your head at this, sighing deeply in exasperation.

“I have, Jimin, I really have,” you mumble, “but it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way. I can just tell that I’m nothing but a good friend to him.”

Jimin might scream at the both of you very soon. How blind and stupid can people actually be?

“If you say so,” he backtracks. You lean back in your seat, pen coming up to lay between your teeth. You bite on it as you stare at nothing in particular, Jeongguk is filling up your brain like he lives there rent free. “Look, ___,” Jimin catches your attention again, “accept his offer, maybe you’ll be surprised.”

He gives you a friendly, comforting smile and a squeeze of your hand before he gets up. He waves at Jeongguk who stands behind the counter again before leaving the café. His words linger around you. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.” Jimin had said and you wonder why he would say that. You know Jeongguk quite well even after less than a year as friends; what could possibly surprise you at this point?

Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to live in the same place as Jeongguk. This thought has appeared in your head for the past hours since you left the café. Now you’re sitting here, in your bed with a Netflix show, which you’re not paying attention to, running through several episodes. Jeongguk’s proposition has been raking up your mind since he left you to yourself at the café. It’s like he knew you would have to think about it when he told you to do exactly that.

And as you sit here, thoughts running at full speed, you try to come up with pros and cons for living under the same roof as your bff #1. Pros are that you get a nice shower every time you have to bath, you will live off Jeongguk’s delicious gastronomic talent and you’ll have your best friend close to you at all times. Cons would be the possibility of getting tired of each other even though you already spend five out of seven days together during the week. Another con would be witnessing girls leave his room and your apartment in the morning after having heard her scream his name all night. That specific thought makes a weird, not-so-great feeling appear in your stomach, making you frown deeply. But you will have to realize sooner or later that Jeongguk won’t ever see you that way and that this crush of yours is a lost cause. Maybe it really is time to just get over it. You sigh deeply, grabbing your phone off the nightstand to send Jeongguk a text.

you [11:38 pm]: i’ll do it, but you gotta make me delicious food every day

You wait for his reply, staring at your screen. Heart hammers wildly as three dots appear on the screen. Your breath hitches in your throat as you read his reply.

gguk [11:40 pm]: anything for you princess ;)

Jeongguk has never in these months of you knowing him, called you a nickname like that. And the way your cheeks blush as you imagine him saying it, tells on you. You love it.

Jeongguk groans as he puts down your last box on the floor of your new bedroom. It’s a box with all your English books and there’s a lot. “Have you even read all of these?”

You stop in your little project of hanging up all your precious polaroid pictures, turning to look at him. You scoff, lying as you say: “yes, of course.”

He smirks lightly, giving you a look that says ‘nice try’. You laugh to yourself, turning back around to your polaroids.

Jeongguk plops down on your bed, head laying on his hands as he brings them up behind his head. Today is a day for the books, you thought to yourself when he first arrived along with Jimin to get all your boxes and shove them into Jimin’s tiny car. He’s wearing blue jeans again, which you absolutely love on him, and he has styled them simply with a black t-shirt, showing off his tattooed right arm. You’ve been staring at him quite a few times since you arrived at the apartment you and Jeongguk have rented together. And it wasn’t helping how his arms kept flexing as he carried your boxes with all your shit up to your new bedroom.

He watches you in silence as you hang up the polaroids, standing with one in particular a bit longer. You smile as you reach down, showing it to him. “It’s us,” you smile softly.

Jeongguk takes the polaroid from your fingers, holding it closer to his face to see it better. It’s a polaroid photo taken at the Han River from that one night where you went out to eat dinner with his friends and some of your girlfriends. You had brought your polaroid camera along, hoping to catch some memories with it tonight. Jeongguk had noticed it that evening, grabbing it from your purse and snapping a ‘selfie’ of the two of you.

He smiles at the photo, remembering that evening as clear as if it was yesterday. That evening was one of the first times Jeongguk realized that he was indeed absolutely smitten by you and that you had him wrapped around your finger. You just didn’t know and you still don’t. “That was a great night,” he reminisces, handing you the photo back. You hang it up on the wall, right in the middle of all the others.

“Yeah,” you sigh deeply, “it was.”

Jeongguk claps his hands on his thighs as he sits up on the edge of your bed. You plop down beside him. “Pizza for dinner?” He suggests.

You nod frantically, “yes, please.”

And that’s how you and Jeongguk end up on the couch, watching that stupid movie with Gong Yoo. You’re completely sucked into that movie, mouth open in awe as you watch Gong Yoo unfolding his charms on the tv-screen. “Wow,” you breathe out as he kisses the main female character. Jeongguk scoffs from beside you, rolling his eyes before dropping his head backwards. The ceiling is more interesting than that ridiculous movie.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with this guy?” he asks, looking back at the screen again.

You shoot him a glare. “Are you sure you're not jealous?”

Jeongguk gasps dramatically, pretending to be offended by your words as he places a hand over his heart. “Am not!”

“Am too!” You laugh, scooting closer to him on the couch. “Admit it, you don’t like Gong Yoo because he’s getting a lot more attention than you.”

Scoffing again, Jeongguk knows that’s a lie and suddenly feeling like he needs to prove a point. He has girls waiting for him, not that you don’t know that. He smirks at you and says: “You know that’s a big fat lie, ___.”

You cock a brow at him. “You’re so full of yourself,” you scoff and get off the couch, taking the pizza boxes with you to clean up, “and you’re jealous, it’s obvious.”

Jeongguk scoffs right back at you as he gets up to follow you into the kitchen. “I am not jealous of some actor,” he states, “I have no reason to be.” You sigh to yourself, your back facing him as he leans in the doorway to the kitchen. You know very well that he has no reason to be jealous of some actor and you certainly don’t need him to remind you. He watches you clean up with a frown. “___.”

“What, Gguk?” You laugh humorlessly, turning to face him. “I get it, you’re hot and a woman magnet and so on, you don’t have to explain it to me.”

He smirks lightly, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closer to you. “Who’s the jealous one now?” He chuckled, arms crossed over his chest as he towers over you. You groan and push at him, making him take a step back from you.

“You’re so annoying,” you grumbled, moving around him and out of the kitchen. Jeongguk watches you walk away towards your bedroom. “Goodnight, roomie,” you call out, waving a hand over your head without glancing back at him. There was a tone of sarcasm in your voice. The door to your bedroom being closed as Jeongguk sighs to himself, wandering his way to his own bedroom. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s asleep. The day must’ve been more tiring than he had thought. A nice memory of him and a pretty girl at the Han River fills up his mind as he dozes off into the night.

The next morning you’re sitting at the dining table, laptop and books out. Your reading glasses are resting on the bridge of your nose and your hair is in a messy bun, making you look relaxed as you study for whatever class you have coming up. Jeongguk strolls out of his bedroom, no shirt… only a pair of grey sweatpants. You glance at him as he passes by you, heading directly for the fridge. You can hear him rustle around for a bowl and a spoon. A minute later he joins you at the dining table, a bowl of fruit loops in front of him.

“Morning,” he says softly, voice still hoarse from waking up. Your stomach tingles at the sound and you mentally slap yourself for being such a wimp for him. You don’t give him a response, continuing to read in your book and type away on your laptop. You can feel him glancing at you occasionally as he eats his cereal. Jeongguk pouts lightly, sighing deeply as you don’t pay him any attention. This is not how he expected the first morning in the apartment to be like. He grumbles to himself for a bit, contemplating on what to say to fill out the silence that has overcome the two of you. An idea pops into his head.

“Hey, I was thinking,” he starts, making you look at him briefly. You focus back on your laptop. Jeongguk falls silent.

“I’m listening,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just gotta finish this, but I’m listening.”

Jeongguk nods, hands fumbling. Why was he suddenly so nervous around you? There is absolutely no reason to be. Was it the tone from last time in which you had told him goodnight and then left him to himself that had him so on edge? He can’t really tell.

“I was thinking that we could have a small get-together with our friends, like a moving-in party?” He suggests. This idea actually sounds interesting, you think to yourself as you look back at him. Jeongguk smiles softly, continuing: “We can just invite the guys I usually hang with and then you can invite Lisa and Jisoo?”

You nod, smiling. “That does sound fun,” you agree on his idea, “let’s do it.”

A grin appears on Jeongguk’s lips. “Tonight? If people are able to make it with such short notice?”

Again, you nod. “I’m sure they don’t have more important stuff to attend on this Saturday evening,” you chuckle, knowing your friends and the fact that they rarely have much to do except for school, work and hanging out with each other. Same goes for Jeongguk’s friends.

“You’re right,” Jeongguk laughs, feeling more at ease now that you’ve joked around with him a bit instead of just sitting there in silence and not really noticing him. It feels better when you laugh, joke around and talk like you usually do without the annoyed and slightly jealous tone. “I’ll text around, asking them to come over tonight.”

You nod lightly, watching him get up from his seat and bringing his cereal bowl to the kitchen. “Remember to tell them to bring their own alcohol! We have nothing in this house yet,” you call out, chuckling slightly. You really didn’t. You almost didn’t have any food either. Maybe today calls for a shopping trip to the supermarket. You turn back to your laptop, eager to finish the assignment and then getting to the supermarket to buy snacks and some food for your empty kitchen cupboards. Maybe Jeongguk can join you on the trip there.

“You think this is enough?” Jeongguk wonders out loud as he places the bowls of snacks down on the coffee table. You join him a few seconds later, a bunch of glasses in your arms for the beverage. Jeongguk notices you joggling all those glasses, rushing to your side with wide eyes to take some from you.

“Thanks,” you softly say, letting him take most of the glasses and placing them down on the table as well. He smiles sweetly in return. “I think it’s enough, we have a few extra chips bags in the cupboard.”

“Perfect,” Jeongguk grins, clapping his hands and rubbing them together in excitement. “This is gonna be fun, I didn’t expect everyone to say yes but they’re literally all coming here in like ten minutes.”

You chuckle softly, making Jeongguk’s stomach do small backflips. He ignores them as he plops down on the couch. “I’m excited,” you sigh, plopping down beside him.

Jeongguk nods, smiling still. “Me too,” he murmurs.

You and Jeongguk fall into small-talk as you wait for your guests to arrive. A bit more than ten minutes pass and the first guest knocks on the door. Jeongguk gets up to let them in, not getting to say much before he’s engulfed in a tight hug by Hoseok. “Hey man,” Hoseok grins, squeezing Jeongguk tightly. He pats him on the back before letting go and walking further inside. Jimin and Taehyung follow right behind, both giving Jeongguk one of those guy hugs.

You lock eyes with Taehyung, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He lets go of Jeongguk to make his way to you, smiling widely. He looks really good, you think to yourself as he stops in front of you. His dark hair was curlier and more unruly than the last time you saw him which was only a few days ago. His smile was wide and bright as always, and his eyes a warm, dark brown. “Hey,” he greets you, smiling.

“Hi,” you reply, leaning closer to give him a hug. Jeongguk is closing the door behind Jimin as he glances your way and notices how Taehyung is already at your side, hugging you. He feels himself become slightly frustrated but Jimin is quick to push a hand against his chest, stopping him from walking over to you and make himself look stupid.

“Don’t,” he shakes his head at Jeongguk, eyeing him down until Jeongguk looks slightly less like he could punch Taehyung in the face right now. His jealousy is starting to get the best of him. He watches you, noticing how you smile that specific smile whenever you get flustered or complimented. Jimin glances in the direction of you and Taehyung, sighing as he looks back at Jeongguk. “You don’t get to be like this, Gguk. Not when you haven’t done anything to get her yourself.”

Jeongguk breathes out deeply, taking his eyes away from the relationship that’s starting to unfold in front of his eyes. Jimin is right, once again. He has no right to get all worked up and angry at the thought of you with Taehyung. At least Taehyung has the balls to actually flirt with you. Jeongguk feels like it backfires every time he tries to. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be you and him. With one glance at you and Taehyung, he joins Jimin in the kitchen to get himself a beer.

The night goes on, the rest of your friends arriving not long after Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin. Lisa and Jisoo sit with you at the dining table, having fun as all of you laugh loudly at whatever you’re talking about. Jeongguk has been watching you tonight more than he’d like to admit, almost being caught a few times. But he was quick enough to look away before you could lock eyes with him. He hasn’t spoken much to you since your friends had arrived which made his heart fall a bit further into his stomach.

You glance in his direction, smiling softly. Jeongguk smiles back at you, deciding to get up and talk to you for the first time in hours. Grabbing his beer off the table, he’s about to get up and make his way to you, but he quickly stops in his tracks. Taehyung appears out of nowhere, standing close to you. His hands are resting on your shoulders as you look up at him. He smiles and says something Jeongguk can’t make out. You get up from your seat, letting Taehyung take your hand in his and guide you to the small balcony that is in you and Jeongguk’s apartment.

Jeongguk doesn’t notice Lisa and Jisoo looking at him, sad smiles on their faces as his face drops and he heads for the kitchen instead, walking past them. You nor Jeongguk knows that the two girls are secretly rooting for the two of you to finally get out of your heads and actually date. It has been too long of this pining after one another, but you’re both in denial no matter how much either Lisa, Jisoo, Jimin or whoever it is, tells you to confess to each other. Lisa gets up from her seat, letting Jisoo know she’ll be right back.

Lisa sighs deeply at the sight when she enters the kitchen. Jeongguk is hunched over the kitchen counter, head in his hands. She walks up to him, leaning against the counter beside him. Jeongguk senses her presence, grumbling lightly. “What?”

She scoffs, throwing a slap to his back causing him to stand up and face her. He glares at her, but he doesn’t say anything as he leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He’s frowning deeply, looking at the floor. “What’s going on with you?” Lisa asks, even though she knows what’s up. Jeongguk glances quickly at her before diverting his gaze back to the floor.

“Nothing,” he shrugs.

Lisa scoffs again, not believing any of his bullshit. “Bullshit, Jeon. I know this is about ___.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at the mention of your name. He’s about to have had enough of talking about you and his feelings for you. Jeongguk is quite literally wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see and yet you’re the only one who doesn’t notice. “I just needed a moment to myself,” he mumbles, sighing deeply before taking a swig of his 4th or 5th beer of tonight.

Lisa nods, “I get that. I mean, she did go with Tae just as you were about to approach her.”

“Yup,” Jeongguk pops the ‘p’, another sip of his beer down his throat. “She’s with Tae, probably already head over heels for him.”

The annoyance in his tone and the slight disgust makes Lisa sigh. “Listen, Jeongguk, you’re doing nothing. You walk around, hang out with her and now you live with her and she still doesn’t know. ___ is blind as hell and she won’t know about your feelings if you don’t acknowledge them yourself.”

“I know,” Jeongguk groans, “but I just don’t- I don’t think she’ll ever see me like I see her.”

Lisa pats his shoulder, giving him a smile that probably is supposed to comfort him but it only makes him feel like she’s pitying him. “Just think about telling her how you feel instead of getting hurt every time someone else does what you could be doing.”

And with that, she leaves him alone in the kitchen again. Staying in his place for a few minutes, he contemplates going out to the balcony and demanding to talk to you, even if it means he has to interrupt your conversation with Taehyung. He empties his beer, leaving it behind as he makes his way to the balcony. He opens the door slightly, slipping outside to see you there with your hand in Taehyung’s. His face drops a little along with his heart. He covers it well with a small smile, his heart hammering hard inside his chest still.

“Hey Tae,” he says, “can I steal ___ for a bit?”

Taehyung nods at his younger friend, looking back at you. “So Friday then?” Taehyung smiles at you.

Friday? What happens Friday?

Jeongguk looks at you, awaiting your answer like Taehyung. “Yep,” you nod, smiling softly back at the curly-haired man in front of you.

“Awesome, it’s a date then,” he grins and lets go of your hand, heading back inside. Jeongguk moves to the side, letting Taehyung through the door. You glance at your roommate slash best friend, watching him as he moves closer. Silence overcomes you for the second time today and Jeongguk finds it unbearable. There’s usually never silence between you or around you, only when you have study dates and even then you always end up chatting instead of actually studying.

Jeongguk clears his throat to break the silence. “So a date, huh?”

You look at him, a small hesitant smile on your lips but it looks closer to being a frown than an actual smile. “Yeah,” you trail off, finger fumbling as you lean over the balcony fence. Jeongguk’s hands are in his pockets but he feels them itching, dying to grab your fumbling ones.

“He’s a great guy,” Jeongguk suddenly blurts. You look at him confused. “Taehyung, I mean.”

You nod slowly, wondering where this conversation is going.

“But he loves girls, ___,” he rambles on, “you know, like, he has a hard time focusing on just one.”

Your face becomes hard, slightly offended on Taehyung’s behalf as the words leave Jeongguk’s mouth. “Oh, so he’s like you?”

Jeongguk falls silent at your words and it feels like a low blow. He sighs and frowns, looking away from you, staring at the almost empty street below. You can’t help but feel slightly guilty from saying that but it’s not a lie. Jeongguk has a booty call or two during the week, always having someone to contact whenever he needs his dick wet. But you still feel bad for firing off such a harsh comment.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, softly touching his bicep before heading back inside, leaving Jeongguk alone on the balcony.

You’re right, he thinks, but it’s only you who actually matters to him.

Two months have passed since your moving-in party, and things have been a bit tense around the apartment ever since. Taehyung has visited the apartment more often than any of your shared friends, but not for Jeongguk’s company. No, yours. And even though Jeongguk really has no say in your relationship with Taehyung, he still can’t help himself as he finds it ridiculous. He can tell you’re not as much in it as Taehyung is and it’s quite painful to watch. Why you’re not as into it as him is still a mystery to Jeongguk.

Today is no different as Jeongguk sits on the couch, watching his favorite cartoon when the doorbell rings. He groans lowly as he gets up from the couch to open the door. Taehyung appears in front of him, his big and unruly curly hair taking all the attention. Dude should get a haircut, Jeongguk thinks to himself as he leaves the door open for Taehyung to enter.

“Hey man,” Taehyung greets Jeongguk, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Is ___ home?”

Jeongguk cocks a single eyebrow. Shouldn’t he have checked that before coming here. “She’s in the shower,” he tells Taehyung, plopping back down on the couch. Taehyung nods, thanking him quietly before heading for your bedroom. Jeongguk watches him, grumbling under his breath because he’s starting to get tired of seeing Taehyung’s face that often during the week. He sighs to himself, trying to focus on his cartoon show instead of the sounds of you giggling inside your room.

Long hours pass before Jeongguk hears Taehyung leaving, the clock striking eleven in the evening before he’s out of you and Jeongguk’s apartment. He did leave quite in a rush though, making Jeongguk curious. He leaves his laptop on as he gets up from his bed to go to your bedroom. He knocks on your slightly opened door, peeking inside. You’re nowhere to be seen making him frown and furrow his eyebrows. He hears shuffling in the kitchen as he moves to the living room. When he reaches the doorway to the kitchen, he leans against it. You’re moving around, rummaging through the cupboards for something, dressed in pajamas shorts and an oversized t-shirt, one that looks awfully a lot like one of his.

“What are you looking for?” Jeongguk calls out, making you jump in surprise. You hold a hand to your chest as you turn to look at him, eyes wide. Jeongguk smirks lightly at your shocked expression, noticing the light blush that appears on your cheeks.

You turn your back to him to continue to look through the cupboards. “Just some snacks, I’m craving some right now,” you tell your best friend who you have no idea is just behind you. You freeze in your actions as Jeongguk reaches up to grab his usual snack off the top shelf. He hands it to you, smiling softly. You squint at him, wondering why he’s giving you his favorite snacks and the last pack at that.

As if he can read your mind: “You can have them if you want.”

Smiling, you open the pack and pop one into your mouth, the crispy consistency making you sigh in content. Jeongguk laughs at your happy expression, knowing the way to your heart is usually through food.

You grab another piece, holding it up to Jeongguk’s lips. He glances at it before opening his mouth and letting you feed him. His eyes are on yours the entire time as his lips brush your fingertips. Your heart leaps, making you pull your fingers back quickly. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice as he smiles, chewing the snack with the same happy expression you sported just moments ago.

“Let’s talk,” you suddenly blurt out, Jeongguk looking confused which causes you to explain further. “We haven’t like talked talked in a long time, so uh yeah, let’s talk?”

Your declaration has turned into a hesitant question as you wait, needing some kind of response.

“Sure,” he shrugs, smiling again. As he turns on his heel, you smile back and follow him into the living room. You plop down beside him on the couch, unintentionally letting your legs rest against his thigh as you pull them up under you. He glances at your bare legs for a second before diverting his eyes to you. “So what do you wanna talk about?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, life?”

Jeongguk chuckles, “life?”

You nod enthusiastically, smiling at him, “yes, life.”

He purses his lips, wondering if there’s anything to tell. You basically know most things already and not much has happened the past weeks except for the fact that his little ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ hasn’t resolved at all, and that he’s still hopelessly in love with you even though you have a boyfriend now. Which still seems surreal to him because it’s one of his friends whom he usually likes but not right now because well, yeah, he’s dating you. But there’s no way he’s actually going to tell you all of that.

“I don’t have anything to say,” he decides on saying, pouting playfully. You chuckle at his facial expression. He smiles at you, eyes going soft because you’re sitting so close to him for the first time in a long time and he feels relaxed. More relaxed than he has been for a while.

“Nothing much for me either,” you sigh, moving the pack of snacks closer to Jeongguk so he can eat some. “Tae asked me to come home with him for the fall break, he wants me to meet his parents.” You leave out the part where you broke up with Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s movements come to a halt, one banana crisp inches away from entering his mouth. “Really?”

You nod. Jeongguk notices how your tone was slightly hesitating and off as you told him about Taehyung’s request.

“Isn’t it a bit…” he trails off, not knowing which words to use without sounding like an asshole. You watch him as he searches for the words.

“A bit what, Gguk?” You press.

He sighs. “A bit over the top, maybe?”

You scoff lightly, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeongguk panics as you move a bit away, your legs no longer touching his. You give him a look that tells him to explain what he means. He sits up, elbows resting on his knees. “Listen, I just think it’s a bit unnecessary since it’s obvious that this relationship isn’t as important to you than it is to Tae.”

“You don’t know that,” you tell him, voice stern. Jeongguk is right, but you’re not gonna tell him that. He hasn’t been talking much to you for the past months hence he has no idea what he’s talking about because you haven’t told him anything about your now ended relationship with Taehyung. Call you bitter, you don’t care. Your best friend hasn’t shown any interest in your life whatsoever for two months now and yes, you’re blaming him for the tension there is in this home.

Jeongguk lets out a small groan in frustration, “but I do, ___! I do know,” he insisted, turning to fully face you, “I can tell because you’re not looking at him the way he looks at you, you’re not fully there every time he’s kissing you goodbye by the door before he leaves. I’ve witnessed it enough to know that you don’t feel the same as he does.”

You’re silent as he talks, listening to everything he says but still holding onto the bitterness that you have for him in regards to his little to no interest in you for two whole months.

“Don’t you dare deny it, ____,” he snapped, “I know you and you don’t love him.”

Punch him. You want to punch him for knowing you so damn well and for seeing right through you. And you want to punch him for being so dumb and blind that he still hasn’t figured out why you’re not in love with Taehyung. How can he not see that he’s the one you love? You’ve been wearing your heart on your sleeve for the entire summer and more, slowly falling in love with him ever since that night he brought you to the frozen yoghurt shop downtown.

“You’re right. I don’t love him,” you mumble under your breath. Jeongguk glances at you, eyes still filled with a small amount of frustration and anger, all directed at you and only you. “But you have no right to tell me this when you haven’t been interested in me and my life for two fucking months, Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, his heart slowly starting to beat faster because why are you fighting? What the hell just happened? “Wha-”

You get up from your seat, moving further away from him and Jeongguk feels like you’re slipping right through his fingertips even though he hasn’t ever been the one to hold you. But he should have, he should’ve been the one to hold you from the start.

“You don’t get to do this, not now when we haven’t really spoken to each other for so long,” you jabbed, “it’s my fault too, but I don’t come at you for having several girls over, do I?”

Jeongguk sighs, running his hands over his face in aggravation. “___, you’re overreacting. I wasn’t trying to tell you anything, I was just-”

“No, Jeongguk. No,” you shake your head, sneering at him. “I don’t need you to tell me or suggest anything, I don’t need your input and I don’t need you to make a decision!”

Jeongguk gets up, moving towards you, face twisting in anger. “Tell me, ___. What is he to you, huh? What is he?”

You glare at him, eyes hard on like his own and you don’t falter one moment. This anger and frustration has been a long time coming now, from both of you. “You’ve said he’s your boyfriend, but what is he really? Is he a fuckbuddy? Is he just someone to get yourself off with, huh?”

“No, Jeongguk, fuck you!” You shout, defending whatever it is that you have with Taehyung. “He’s good company, and no, I don’t see him like he sees me. He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

Jeongguk chuckles flatly, no humor behind it as he steps back from you. Hurt flashes across his face as he gets what you just said. “I see how it is,” he nods, giving you one last hurt look before retreating to his room. You stand back, hand coming up to cover your mouth as a cry rakes through your body. You didn’t know you had been holding back tears, the emotions you have for Jeongguk being poured out in the form of heavy tears in the middle of your living room. You’re frozen in your spot, sobs shaking you as you hold yourself. The sound of Jeongguk slamming his hand against the wall makes you move out of your frozen spot. You quickly make your way to your own bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

You slide under the covers, head feeling heavy as you let the tears fall. You didn’t intend to hurt Jeongguk the way you did, but you practically just shouted at him that you don’t like being around him, that his company isn’t good. It must’ve hurt him more than what you or he, himself, expected it to. You feel bad as you let your duvet engulf you whole, the taste of regret on your tongue as you keep repeating your own words in your head.

“He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

How could you even say that when Jeongguk hasn’t been anything but great company for you? He has been even more than that, he has been a friend you needed more than you ever knew, a person so supportive and loving that you always felt like you had someone to come to whenever times were rough. And in the midst of all this, you managed to fall for him as well. He didn’t do much to make it happen, he was just himself from the very beginning of your friendship and you’ve seen sides to him not many people have witnessed and you know the real Jeon Jeongguk. The Jeongguk who loves his camera more than anything, the Jeongguk who loves food and snacks and banana milk as if he was five years old again. The Jeongguk who’s such a softie, when you first get to know him like you do, that half of it would be more than enough. The Jeongguk who loves with his entire being, always putting his loved ones before himself – including you.

You sigh deeply, hating yourself for shouting such inaccurate words at him. You had to make it up to him, apologize to him for being so inconsiderate when all he did was trying to make you realize that the relationship you have with Taehyung is a waste of time. Jeongguk is right, you know he is. You don’t love Taehyung and you know you never will. The feelings just aren’t there, they’re elsewhere with someone who’s been worthy of them since what feels like forever.

Sleep doesn't overcome you as you stay in bed, staring at the ceiling. You’ve been tossing and turning for the past few hours, trying your very hardest to fall asleep ever since the fight you had with Jeongguk.You glance at the clock on your nightstand that’s reading 3 am — you have a morning lecture to attend in 6 hours. You let out a heavy sigh. Eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and your lips in a pout because why the fuck are you not able to sleep? Your eyes feel heavy from crying, but your best friend is taking up all your thoughts and the feelings you have for him are almost bursting out of your chest.

You groan to yourself as you roll over, pulling the duvet over your head. Closing your eyes, you try again for the umpteenth time. “I just wanna sleep,” you whine to yourself, but it’s no help. You give up on sleep.

You’re only half aware of what’s happening as you get out of bed and leave your bedroom, heading for Jeongguk’s bedroom. You stop in your tracks in front of his door. Maybe he’s also up, you think to yourself as you reach for the doorknob, turning it lightly. Peeking inside his dark room, you notice him fast asleep in his bed. You softly smile through the evident feeling of regret which is still heavy in your stomach. Without further thinking, you slip inside his room and close the door. You tiptoe over to his bed, glancing over him once again.

He looks peaceful, eyes shut and eyelashes touching the top of his cheek. Yet there’s a crease on his forehead and a slight frown upon his lips. The corner of your lips turn into a frown, copying his features unintentionally. Your eyes rake over the rest of his body. The duvet is only halfway covering him, from the waist and down. his naked chest is rising and falling as he breathes deeply. A soft tingle runs through your stomach as you carefully crawl onto his bed. You lift the duvet and slip under, sliding closer to him. He stirs in his sleep, turning over onto his side. you glance up at his face, noticing his eyes slightly open. You can barely see him in the darkness, but you can feel him looking at you.

“Hey,” he whispers into the darkness.

You smile, a sad smile, but he can’t see it. “Hi.”

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, voice soft yet hoarse. He moves a bit, trying to lay comfortably while creating more space for you. He’s careful not to touch you.

You shake your head at his question. “Not really,” you mumble.

You scoot closer, hand reaching out to touch his that is lying between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper softly into the night. Jeongguk turns his hand, letting you intertwine your fingers with his.

“For what?” He mutters quietly.

You breathe out shakily as Jeongguk is now the one to move closer to you. You let out a sigh, relaxing as his forehead rests against yours, his breathing clashing with your own.

“For the things I said, for shouting at you, for insulting you,” you explain, voice still soft and low as if someone outside would be able to hear you. “I didn’t mean any of it, I just-”

You stop yourself, hesitating. Should you just tell him? Tell him why you don’t love Taehyung when you have plenty of reasons to do so? Jeongguk senses the inner battle you’re having with yourself, his hand squeezing yours to let you know that you can tell him whatever it is that you have on your mind, reassuring you that he’s listening. “I don’t love Taehyung,” you sigh, “I broke up with him tonight… And there’s a pretty good reason for this.”

Jeongguk nods, humming in response because he already knows, it just took him insanely long to realize. Your thundering heart and shaky breath gave you away the moment he moved closer to you. Jeongguk is daring as he leans even closer, breath hitting your lips. You gasp lightly at the feeling of his lips ghosting yours, the skin of them softer than anything. His hand lets go of yours only to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hand touches his bare chest, the almost new and fresh tattoo he got two weeks ago feeling rough yet soft under your touch. He’s holding you so close that you’re unconsciously holding your breath.

“I was so scared,” you whisper against his lips, hand moving up from his chest to the back of his neck. Your fingertips brush against his hair, his long and slightly curled hair soft like you had always imagined it to be. “Scared you wouldn’t say it back.”

The tension in the room is almost unbearable but in a good way. This is months of feelings, tension and longing all coming together and clashing right here in this moment. You feel breathless, like you can’t breathe but at the same time, you’re perfectly fine.

“Say what back, ___?”

His hand runs along your hip and to your thigh, hooking around it and bringing it around him to hug his waist. His crotch is almost touching yours and your breath hitches at the feeling. Jeongguk smirks to himself, knowing exactly what kind of effect he has on you. He loves taking your breath away like this, but he can think of another way, something he’s been dying to do for a long time.

“Tell me,” he demands softly yet strongly, making you gasp again.

“I love you, Jeongguk,” You breathe out, feeling a weight coming off your chest, “I love you so much.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, a small smile appearing on his face as he cups your face, thumb running across your cheek. “You’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back,” he whispers against your lips.

You whine at him for calling you an idiot and then you melt as he presses his lips against yours, soft and plump like pillows. Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers grabbing strands of curly, black hair as you let him kiss you until your breath is gone. It’s like you're sinking into him, fitting perfectly against his body. Goosebumps rise upon your skin as his hand wanders; over your bare legs to your waist and further across your chest and up to lightly wrap around the base of your throat. His tongue pokes at your lips, wanting to find yours. You part your lips, letting his tongue touch yours, the wetness and softness mixing well together as he pulls you even closer, a moan slipping out of you.

“Shit, ___,” he grunts against your lips as you press your core to his in eagerness, making him lose his mind, “please let me fuck you, let me love you so good, baby.”

You nod frantically, giving him full permission to do whatever he wants with you. A tiny squeal emits from your lips as he pushes you over, hovering over you and trapping you between his arms. He looks down at you, eyes soft and filled with want and lust. You smile up at him, hands running up and down the sides of his naked torso. You loved touching him like this, feeling his muscles tense under your touch and his soft skin that is filled with heavy tattoos, all of them having their own special meaning.

“I love you,” he whispers so softly you almost don’t hear it, eyes flickering between yours.

“I love you too,” you whisper back, cupping his face to pull him down to meet you for a kiss, a sloppy and wet kiss that makes your body tingle. You hum in satisfaction as he moves away from your lips, kissing his way down to your neck. He licks a stripe up your neck and to your ear, tongue flicking at your earlobe. He makes you shiver, his touch soft like a feather and yet rough enough to make you feel them more evidently than anything you’ve ever felt before.

As he works his way down with his lips, your hands are everywhere. On his shoulders, in his hair. You’re squirming under his touch, feeling impatient as he takes his time with you. It’s like he already knows every part of your body as he runs his hands down your sides and up under his T-shirt, that you’ve stolen at some point, pushing it up and revealing your breasts. He pulls the shirt all the way off, throwing it onto the floor without looking. His room is rather cold, making your nipples stiffen. He licks his lips, looking at your chest with hungry eyes. You gasp as he cups your breasts, thumbs running over each nipple. You bite your lip, holding yourself from moaning too loudly. You can’t hold it in as you watch him wrap his wetted lips around one of your hardened nubs, tongue lapping over it and flicking it.

“Holy sh- Jeongguk,” you moan, eyes closing as you arch your back in pure pleasure. He bites onto it causing you to twitch in his grasp. He smirks up at you as you glance down, watching him move to the other breast to give it the same amount of attention. He’s such a tease, you can barely comprehend it in your mind.

A small tiny moan emits from your lips as he moves further down, lips kissing the skin on your stomach, trailing around your navel and to the edge of your pajamas shorts. He glances up at you for permission which you grant him with a small nod, teeth biting onto your lower lip. He hooks his fingers under the waistband, pulling shorts and panties down your legs. They’re on the floor within a matter of seconds, out of the world and out of the mind of the both of you as Jeongguk focuses his attention on the wetness that has formed between your legs. His dick twitches in his boxers, the sight of you bare and naked in front of him messing with his head.

You whimper as he spreads your legs, revealing your wetness to the cold air of the room, making you shiver once again. He inhales as he lowers his face between your legs, quiet growl leaving his lips. “You smell so good, baby,” he rasps, hands running from your ankles to your thighs and squeezing the soft flesh there, making goosebumps appear on your skin. “Can’t wait to taste you.”

The feeling of his lips against you makes you jolt, your breath quickening as you feel him kissing against your folds. Jeongguk brings a hand up, the other hand gripping your thigh tightly to keep your legs spread for him. You moan lightly as he runs a finger down between your wet lips, loving every second of watching and hearing you squirm beneath his touch. You’re not prepared for the feeling when he spreads your folds with his fingers before diving in, licking up and flicking your already sensitive clit with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh my god,” you moan out, your hand digging into his hair as he licks and eats you out like a starved man. Your breathing picks up as he quickens the pace of his tongue, feeling yourself nearing your high. “D-don’t stop, Gguk.”

Jeongguk hums in response to your words, letting a finger slip between your folds and inside you. You gasp, leaning up onto your elbows to watch him. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face as he glances up at you, lips still tightly connected to your core. “Oh,” you hum, biting your bottom lip tightly, “oh, fuck.”

His mouth leaves your wet lips as another finger sinks into you, pumping in and out at a fast pace. He’s desperate to bring you to your orgasm, lips kissing all over your thighs and lower stomach. “Let go, baby, cum for me.”

Your arms give up, your head hitting the pillows as your first orgasm of the night comes at you with full force – Jeongguk’s goal is to make you cum at least three times tonight but you don’t know that. “Fuuuuck Jeongguk,” you moan, voice high pitched as you close your eyes. Your toes are curling, fist grabbing the sheet tightly as his fingers fucks you through your orgasm. As you come down from your high, Jeongguk removes his fingers from you, your release covering them as he holds them up. You watch him bring his fingers to his lips, licking your cum off them. You whine, sitting up to reach for him, desperate for more.

He chuckles with a smirk, letting you pull him closer by hooking a finger around the silver necklace around his neck. Your lips finally land against his again, a sigh emitting from you as you let him lead you back onto your back again. You can taste yourself on his tongue as he positions himself between your legs, his cock twitching against your core. You can feel how hard he is through his boxers. Your tongue dances with his as you reach down, cupping him through the fabric of his underwear.

He grunts against your mouth, letting your lips go to rest his forehead against your collarbone. Your hand squeezes him causing him to whine lightly. “Baby, don’t do this to me,” he rasps, lips pressing tiny kisses against the skin on your throat. “Need to fuck you.”

You nod, running a hand through his hair and down his neck to his shoulder blade. Pushing at the waistband of his boxers, he gets the hint. He helps you push them down his legs, his cock springing free and slap against his abdomen. You let him do the rest himself. He kicks them off, leaving them to fall onto the floor, long forgotten. He reaches over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom. You watch him rip it open with his teeth before reaching down to roll it onto his sensitive, throbbing dick. You kiss him once he returns back to hovering over you, tongue sloppily fighting against his. Pulling away, he trails kisses to just above your breasts and back up to your neck. His hands are everywhere on you, running over your nipples to your stomach and further down to brush against your still wet, pulsing core. “Still so wet for me, huh?” He hums against your neck, teeth lightly biting into your skin. “Only for me?”

You nod, breathing heavily, “only you, Gguk.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck, shivers running through you at the thought. He lines himself up, leaning up on his elbows to glance at your face. You lock eyes with him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, eyes closing momentarily before he presses a kiss to your palm.

The moment his eyes open again, you gasp. They’re dark, filled with lust and desperation. You don’t get to say a thing before he pushes past your folds and inside, making you moan his name out loud in surprise and pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” you moan, grabbing onto his bicep tightly. He hisses at the mixed feeling of your nails digging into his skin and the sensation of finally getting to be balls deep in you after all these months. He bottoms out, head resting in the crook of your neck as he stays still for a moment.

“Oh god, you’re big,” you breathe out into the darkness, taking a few minutes to adjust to his size before you tell him to move. He chuckles against your neck, pressing a small kiss there before leaning up to support himself on his hands, looking down to see where you’re connected as one. “Gguk, please move.”

You’re in another world as he pulls out and pushes back in, the force already unlike anything you’ve ever tried before. How is he better and bigger than what you’d expected?

“Fuck,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

Your moans become more high pitched for each thrust Jeongguk does, your stomach tightening in just the right way. He sets a steady rhythm, somehow managing to hit the perfect spot every single time. “I love you so much,” you gasp out as he grinds into you, bottoming out in you and filling you to the brim.

He moans at your words, a hand grabbing your leg and wrapping it tightly around his waist as he fucks you harder. “I love you too,” he breathes out against your lips before kissing you hard but sloppily.

Jeongguk man handles you halfway through, unwrapping your legs from his waist and bending them to press against your chest. This angle causes him to hit even deeper than before. “Jeongguk, please fuck me faster,” you whine, moaning. He bites into his bottom lip as he follows your command, setting a faster yet still hard pace. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he hits you deeper for every single thrust, his balls slapping against your ass as he fucks hard into you.

You’re seeing stars as you close your eyes and moaning out loud in pleasure, loving you better than anyone ever good, cherishing your body in every way he can as he brings you to another orgasm. White flashes for your eyes as it hits you, hands digging into his hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whine against his lips, feeling yourself tighten around him.

This brings him to the edge, low grunts and groans leaving his lips in between sloppy kisses. His last thrusts become even harder as he hits his high, he stills as he cums into the condom. He’s breathing hard along with you, forehead resting on your chest.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs deeply as he pulls out before plopping down to lay beside you. He pulls the condom off and throws it into the bin close to his bed. “That was-”

“Amazing,” you breathe out, turning onto your side to look at him. He turns his head, smiling at you. “You’re amazing,” you tell him.

He grins, leaning up to press his mouth to yours in another sloppy yet soft kiss. You peck his lips one, two, three times before resting your head on his chest. Jeongguk wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side. The duvet is pulled over the two of you as you’re slowly beginning to drift off to sleep. You don’t allow yourself to fall asleep before you’ve talked about this whole thing.

You rest your chin on his chest, locking eyes with him. His finger tips are running up and down your naked back, goosebumps rising once again.

“What now?” You question hesitantly, voice soft and careful.

Jeongguk shrugs, smiling softly at you. He brings a hand up to push strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s just you and me,” he softly says, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You kiss the pad of his thumb, making him smile even wider.

“Just you and me?” You repeat.

He nods, “you and me.”

You lean up, pressing a last kiss to his lips before resting your head against his chest once again, this time really falling asleep. Jeongguk lies awake for a bit, fingers still running up and down your spine. Your soft snores fill the quietness of his bedroom and it already feels like this is how it’s meant to be, finally.

The sun is forcing its way through the curtains in Jeongguk’s bedroom causing you to stir in your sleep. You stretch before rolling over onto your other side, coming to face a sleeping Jeongguk. You smile, feeling your chest fill with warmth and love as you watch him sleep with his mouth slightly parted and light snores leaving him as well.

You reach out, brushing his overgrown, curly hair out of his face. He stirs lightly, reaching up to wrap his hand around yours and intertwining your hands. He’s still sleepy as he opens his eyes, dark brown eyes meeting yours.

“Hey,” you whisper, shuffling closer so that you can press a soft peck to his lips.

He smiles, feeling his chest fill with warmth and the feeling of being content and happy in this exact moment.

It doesn’t even take five minutes before Jeongguk’s is more awake and has you pinned down beneath him. He leans down, lips ghosting yours as he rests himself between your legs. He’s still naked just like you.

“Wanna go again?” He whispers against your lips, pressing a soft kiss to them.

You chuckle, “wasn’t last night enough for you?”

He shakes his head, lips moving further down to your neck and biting into your skin, in the same spot as last night. “It will never be enough,” he hums into your skin. You can feel his dick twitch against your thigh causing wetness to quickly appear in between your legs.

Without another word, you reach down and line him up against your folds. “No condom?” He looks at you, confused.

You shake your head. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean,” you tell him, “aren’t you?”

Jeongguk looks at you in awe, nodding his head. “Of course, I am.”

He leans down, kissing you softly, tongue poking out to ask for allowance. You kiss him back, letting him in, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close. Jeongguk lines himself up again, hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You feel him poking at your folds, stomach tingling in excitement because there’s simply no cock better than Jeongguk’s.

“I love you,” he softly whispers.

You smile, “I love you too.”

Just as he’s about to push himself fully inside, the sound of the front door slamming shut stills him. Jimin’s voice sounds throughout the apartment: “Guys, get up! I’m inviting both of you out to eat breakfast, so you better be ready in five minutes!”

Jeongguk drops his head to your shoulder, a groan leaving his lips. “I can’t believe I get cockblocked again,” he grumbles against your skin, making you laugh out loudly.

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