#saiki kusou no psi nan

[monakisu]

saiki, envisioning himself grinning blushing sparkling with joy in the arms of his beloved friends: i'm so fucking pissed right now

[emergencyd4]

saiki doodles :P

[idkiliveinmyownwrld]

tbh if Saiki was fem people would hate him

(talking about his powers)

[hanatatami]

season 2 volume 1 dvd cover save me, save me season 2 volume 1 dvd cover

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Four

Kusuo Saiki x Reader

Chapter Four: Safety Drills and Clairvoyants

Summary: (Y/N) and Saiki perform a safety drill, and Saiki has to make sure his friends don't get tricked by a fake psychic.

            “Listen up, everyone! There’ll be an evacuation drill today!” announced Hairo.

            “Evacuation drill, huh?”

            “Ha! I’ll be fine. I don’t need to rehearse,” said Nendou.

            “Yes, he does,” whispered (Y/N), leaning over to Saiki. “Yesterday, he walked into the first-year hall and thought it was ours.” They grinned cheekily.

            Saiki sighed. “Of course, he did.”

            “Nendou, you shouldn’t take the drill so lightly,” warned Hairo. “Take a fire, for example! You’re surrounded by hot flames. The smoke makes it hard to see. You have trouble breathing! Now, what’re you gonna do in such a hot and hostile environment?! Can you make a level-headed decision in that situation when you didn’t even bother to participate in the drill?! Preparedness always pays off!”

            “You’re as hot and suffocating as a fire,” said Saiki.

            “Fires are great for making s’mores on a summer night,” said (Y/N), thinking aloud.

            They wouldn’t survive a fire, either, would they? The psychic sighed. For all (Y/N)’s good sense, they lacked it at some critical moments. Yare yare. They’re all so troublesome.

            “Anyway, when the fire alarm goes off, follow the instructions and evacuate to the schoolyard,” said Hairo. He was acting much calmer than he had been a few seconds ago. “This is a mnemonic created by using the initials for the important considerations during an evacuation. ‘SOS.’ ”

            If I remember correctly, it stands for “Slow, Orderly, and Silent.”

            (Y/N) brightened. “I was right earlier! ‘S’mores On Summer nights.’ ”

            Saiki deadpanned even more than usual. That’s not even close.

            “Oh, I get it!” piped up Nendou. “ ‘Save Our Selves!’ ”

            “That can’t be right!” protested (Y/N).

            Do they remember what it actually means?

            “We should Save Others before Snacks!”

            Well, at least they have good intentions…

            “Well, I suppose, but…” said Hairo.

            “Then, it must be ‘Someone! Over here! Save me!’ ” said Nendou.

            “Do it yourself,” said Saiki.

            Kaidou laughed derisively (acting dramatic as usual). “You’re stupid as ever.”

            “What?! Do you know what it means?” questioned Nendou.

            “Hmph, of course, I do,” declared Kaidou confidently.

            “What? Is it ‘Save Others with Superpowers?’ ” laughed (Y/N), obviously joking.

            Nendou laughed. “Good one, pinky.”

            “No! It’s ‘Scorching Oblivion Smackdown!’ ” said Kaidou.

            Everyone was silent.

            “I was just kidding,” said Kaidou, backpedaling quickly. “It stands for ‘Slow, Orderly, and Silent.’ ”

            “Yes, that’s right,” said Hairo. “So everyone, please remember SOS when you are participating in the drill.”

            The PA system turned on. “A fire broke out in the science room on the first floor. Please evacuate.” The fire alarm began to ring.

            “The sound of fire alarms makes me panic,” said Teruhashi.

            “This is important. We should pay attention,” said Saiki.

            “Fire, you need to Stay calm. Open your bag and take out your safety hood, then Stand in line in order of your student number,” explained Hairo.

            (Y/N) walked over and picked their hood up. Since the buttons were directly under their chin, they fumbled with them. Sighing, Saiki walked over and buttoned it correctly. (Well, really he held his hands up and the buttons did themselves, but it was still Saiki making them do so. It counted).

            “Thanks, Saiki!” chirped (Y/N). Their heart fluttered at his help, and they smiled widely.

            “Yare yare. It’s just for helping at the sports festival,” said Saiki, looking away. He didn’t like being in debt to anyone, so helping with buttons would even out the food thing. That was all.

            “Oh, no,” said Teruhashi, frowning down at her hood. “I can’t figure out my buttons.” Saiki will see me in trouble and help! Then I’ll thank him, and he’ll say “Oh, wow!”

            Not happening.

            A swarm of boys jumped to Teruhashi’s side. “We’ll help you, Teruhashi!”

            “We shouldn’t wait around here! The fire could spread,” warned Hairo.

            “If you spend too much time helping me, you guys will…” Teruhashi gasped dramatically and softened her eyes thankfully.

            “She’s right! What is your guys’ plan?” asked Hairo.

            “Sacrifice Ourselves to Save her,” declared the boys.

            “I-I see,” said Hairo.

            Saying nary a word they’d Offer me their help. They’re my love Slaves. Teehee, thought Teruhashi.

            Class 3 lined up by the door and began exiting.

            “Okay! Let’s start evacuating,” ordered Hairo.

            “Oh, shoot, I left my phone in class,” said Tadashi. He began to turn around, but Hairo interceded.

            “Stop, Tadashi! You’re Out of line, Stay in place,” commanded the class rep.

            “He’s trying too hard.”

            “Mhm,” hummed (Y/N), chewing on a snack.

            Saiki almost deadpanned more than usual. They had marshmallows with them. No wonder they kept thinking about s’mores. “I feel like I’m hearing SOS in almost everything now.”

            “That’s a Strange Occurrence, Saiki,” said (Y/N).

            “See? What did I tell you?”

            (Y/N) blinked before smiling. “Whoa, you’re So Observant, Saiki.”

            “Stop it, guys. Obviously a fire drill doesn’t have time for Stupid quarrels,” said Kaidou to Hairo and Tadashi.

            “Right! Great call, Kaidou!” said Hairo. “Let’s continue down the stairs! We’re almost there!” He stopped at the first floor. “What?!” The way was blocked. “Stop! The path leading Outside has been Shuttered?!”

            “Seriously? Come On. We’d be Screwed if this wasn’t a drill,” muttered the discontent students.

            “I wonder if the shutter was closed by mistake,” said Teruhashi.

            “I think it’s because this goes by the science room,” pointed out (Y/N), still munching marshmallows.

            Saiki nodded. How do they manage to be so observant and clueless at the same time?

            “Stay calm. Obviously, there’s gotta be a Solution,” said Hairo. “A solution?” He became serious and introspective. “I see…I now understand the point of this shutter!”

            “I think he finally figured it out, too,” said Saiki.

            “We’re being tested! This is an obstacle!” declared the redhead. “During a fire, Sometimes Obstacles Stance in our way! In other words, to move forward, we must break through this shutter!”

            “Isn’t it made to be tough to break?” asked (Y/N), tilting their head.

            Excepting Saiki, the boys weren’t listening. “Alright then! Let’s break that shuttle!” The grabbed a fire extinguisher and a desk to throw at the barrier.

            “In a real fire, they’d be the first to go,” said Saiki. He glanced over at (Y/N) and their marshmallows. “You might be next.”

            They were blissfully unaware of his comment and just held out a sweet treat to him. “Want one?”

            “…Yes.” Coffee jelly may be his favorite snack, but he liked other sweets, too. Alright, so maybe I’d save you since you bring me dessert.

            Finally, Hairo, Nendou, and Kaidou managed to open a corner of the shutter and let the students pass through. Mr. Matsuzaki was waiting on the other side.

            “So…You wrenched open the shutter and escaped through the front entrance,” observed the gym teacher. “I see…Who would break a shutter?! We just installed it! Are you Simpletons Out of your minds? Do you know what it costs to repair a Shutter?!”

            “We’re sorry!” apologized the boys.

            Geez…This is why I told them…Ah, I guess I didn’t tell them directly. Well, this school doesn’t need an evacuation drill to start with, though. Because…So long as I’m around, Ordeals such as fire Simply will not happen.

            Yare yare. Now I’m doing it.

l

            Throughout the town, the news of the House of Fortune Telling was spreading like wildfire. Apparently, a skilled clairvoyant worked there. People were loving what she said. Whether or not she was correct in her predictions was still unknown, but people kept on going to her, especially curious teenagers.

            “Hmph. How stupid. Fortune-telling is just an illusion created by a bunch of people who pretend to be prophets,” said Kaidou.

            “Wow, it’s pretty rare that you and I agree on something,” said Saiki.

            (Y/N) nodded. “I find it hard to believe someone who can actually see the future isn’t being sought out by governments.” They grinned. “But I’m going this afternoon, anyways. I’m curious about what she’ll say, even if it is totally made up. It’ll be fun.”

            “Well, forget that,” said Kaidou, “I have something more important to discuss with you two. Come with me after school today. Have you noticed? I sense a strange aura being given off in this town. I think Dark Reunion is behind it.”

            “Whatever floats your boat,” said (Y/N), “And I already have plans.”

            “That’s just an illusion you created,” said Saiki to Kaidou.

            Saddened, Kaidou walked away. Nendou popped up beside Saiki and (Y/N).

            “Pal, pinky! Have you heard? There’s a fortune-telling shop nearby,” said Nendou.

            “It’s ‘House of Fortune Telling.’ I’m tired of hearing about it already.”

            “Yeah, I know!” chirped (Y/N). “I’m going to check it out later today, ya know, for curiosity’s sake!”

            Looks like I’ll be making sure my friends bothers don’t make bad decisions today.

            If Saiki was being at all observant of his own actions, he’d notice that as soon as (Y/N) was involved, he was way more willing to wade into irritating situations to keep track of his friends. Acquaintances. (Friends).

l

            Saiki, invisible to all, sighed and followed (Y/N) inside the House of Fortune Telling. Kaidou was with them because they had spotted him “in disguise” in line. The inside was made to look like a stereotypical psychic’s shop with a crystal ball, shimmery drapes, lows lights, the whole nine yards.

            “Welcome to the House of Fortune. Please have a seat,” said the fortune teller.

            “O-Okay,” said Kaidou.

            “Alright,” said (Y/N).

            They both sat down.

            “I’m Mikiko Clairvoyance. Nice to meet you,” said the lady.

            (Y/N) tilted their head in confusion at her name. That feels way too on the nose. Like a stage name.

            “On what matter would you like advice today?” asked Mikiko.

            “Umm,” said Kaidou.

            I see. They seem half in doubt, too.

            “Oh, my…I sense a very unusual aura from you, young man!” said Mikiko.

            “What?!” gasped Kaidou.

            “You’re no ordinary person, are you,” asked Mikiko slyly. “Do you have special gifts?”

            (Y/N) watched the proceedings in amusement.

            “And you!” Mikiko turned to the teenager.

            “Me?” (Y/N) pointed to themself.

            “Yes! You’re quite important to someone with gifts, aren’t you?!” questioned the clairvoyant dramatically.

            (Y/N) shrugged and laughed. “Sorry, ma’am, you got the wrong person.” They brushed her off without a second thought. There weren’t many people they wanted to be important to, and having gifts didn’t go into it. Plus, the list wasn’t that long. Their friends, family, Saiki.

            But Saiki’s a friend, so there we go, thought (Y/N) decidedly, brushing the way their mind separated him from everyone else away.

            Wait…important to someone with gifts?! thought Kaidou. Does that mean…me?! A sudden blush overtook his cheeks as he looked at (Y/N).

            Oh, wow. Saiki frowned slightly. He was more annoyed than usual as he saw Kaidou, even though he was just confused, get all flustered because of (Y/N). It just felt so…troublesome

            “Ah…well, perhaps you’re just not aware of it!” covered Mikiko expertly. Not a good target. I should focus on the boy. She turned quickly to Kaidou. “You’re troubled by something! Am I wrong?!”

            “How did you know that?!” gasped Kaidou.

            People without troubles wouldn’t come to a place like this.

            “Let me tell you what it is…” Mikiko carefully gaged what her predictions should be by watching Kaidou’s reactions. “A problem with romance…is not what it is, so an issue with your future and schoolwork…isn’t what’s troubling you, either. So it’s something to do with your friends and relationships!” She nailed it on the third try. “Yes! Your source of trouble is one friends and relationships!”

            “H-How do you know that?!” stammered Kaidou.

            You make it too easy.

            “Most teenagers have that problem,” whispered (Y/N) to Kaidou, but he paid them no mind.

            “Yeah, you’re right. That is the source of my troubles,” said the blue-haired boy. “I’m an assassin known as the Jet-Black Wings who came from a parallel world.”

            (Y/N) sweat-dropped.

            What is he talking about? thought Mikiko.

            I ask myself that question every day.

            “But after I learned the truth about the organization…” rambled Kaidou.

            Mikiko nodded. “I understand.”

            “I’m used to fighting.” Kaidou clenched his fist. “But sometimes I think about my life…I live in solitude…I don’t have anything I can call frie—I mean, comrade.”

            “Aww, I’ll be your friend!” chirped (Y/N), leaning affectionately towards him.

            “A-Ah!” Kaidou squeaked and blushed.

            Saiki’s eyebrow twitched. (Y/N) was too nice for their own good, and Saiki didn’t need Kaidou having any misguided feelings for them. That would be complicated. That was the trouble. Obviously.

            In an attempt to keep his attention, Mikiko said, “But he needs someone to completely understand him! You need a new approach. You should try to understand others.”

            Oh, so she says some decent things, too. Maybe I misjudged her.

            “Also, this will help.” She opened a box which held necklace. “You’ll be fine if you wear this necklace.

            “What’s that?” asked (Y/N).

            “If you wear this, you’ll be able to make friends with one hundred people and with Kento Yamazaki!” explained Mikiko. “If you buy now, I’m willing to offer you the low price of thirty-thousand yen.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and their jaw dropped open.

            “Thirty-thousand yen?!” cried Kaidou. “I-I’ll buy it! But I want to know one thing first. Will this make me friends with Saiki?!”

            A soft smile spread across (Y/N)’s face. “Aww, Kaidou…”

            “If you wear it, that Saiki guy will follow you around saying, ‘Hey, pal,’ ” said Mikiko.

            (Y/N) blanked. “Huh?” There was no way that was happening. Plus, that was Nendou’s line.

            “I-I’ll buy it!” declared Kaidou. He paid without hesitation.

            “Well, well, good luck, now I must see other customers!” Mikiko rushed them out the door to the street. “Next person! Please come in.”

            Kaidou regarded the necklace happily as he walked down the street with (Y/N).

            “If nothing else, it’s…pretty,” said (Y/N). They weren’t sure it would work.

            “Kaidou!”

            Both teens turned around. Kaidou was excited to have his first friend while (Y/N) was just surprised that the necklace might actually do something. They were both let down because it was just Mikiko.

            “I’m giving this back! I had no idea what you were saying was true!” she cried. She shoved Kaidou’s money back into his hands.

            “What? Then what about the necklace?” asked Kaidou.

            “You can have it! I bought it at a street stall for five-hundred yen!” she shouted as she ran.

            “What?!” cried Kaidou, realizing the necklace wasn’t magical.

            (Y/N) patted his back. “Sorry. At least you got your money back. And don’t worry, you’ve already got one friend. Me!” They beamed radiantly.

            “Oh!”

            The pair turned after hearing Nendou’s voice. He had just run into Saiki.

            “Oh, hey, pal! Oh, and you, too, runt, pinky?” asked Nendou.

            Kaidou’s eyes widened. Three of the people he was closest to were suddenly all around him. He gazed in wonder at the trinket in his hands. “So this necklace really is…”

            Saiki sighed.

            (Y/N) grinned. “No, no, Kaidou. Can’t you see? We’re already your friends!”

            Kaidou blushed. “A-Ah! R-Right!”

            Saiki was torn between being annoyed at Kaidou’s flustered state and enjoying how kind (Y/N) was. Those two annoy me, but you—he looked at (Y/N)—I can tolerate you.

Taglist:

@elaemae

@painstakingly-juno

@characterreaderwriter

@melovepurple

@sleep-7372

@w0mank1sser

@geminigengar

@noodleryworld

@leonardo-dabitchy

@janezee12751275

@xenop0p

@ex160-blog1

@futureittomainn

@boogiemansbitch

@dmitrytherat

@yuriisclumsy

@sixxze

@constellationguy

[aloneinwintrr]

me when i’m a silly little guy who’s upside down for some reason

[loveromeo1641]

Been trying to learn how to draw, so here’s our queen teruhashi 🫶

(Advice/tips are greatly appreciated, I wanna get better)

[callie-the-creator]

sfw. warnings: obsessive behavior, slight stalking, jealousy, saiki uses his powers for selfish reasons, etc.

author’s note: oh, don’t mind me, just writing some headcanons if saiki was ever a yandere.

• you and saiki first met in chūgakkō, junior high, but he didn’t fall in love with you until a few years later when you two were already in pk academy. maybe it’s all the accidentally bumping into him, dropping your papers and saiki being the one to help you pick them up, making awkward eye contact in class, hanging out with one another outside of school, or touching on the same snack you both are aiming for at either the vending machine or at the store... all the things somehow have you involved these recent days and saiki is less than impressed at first

• saiki has always stated time and time again that he personally does not think he will not fall in love, so he always watches others who are in love and help them if he can, but here he is…completely captivated by you of all people. he didn’t know why though, was the author just really that bored?

• good grief

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ��� ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• let it be known that he does possess the power to alter your perception of him. saiki could always just make you fall in love with him just like that…but…what’s the fun in that? no, no, he wouldn’t dream of doing that to you

— however, since saiki was born with the uncontrollable ability to read the minds of all living creatures in a multiple-mile radius…he can read your mind, he knows all of your favorite things, what you dislike, your hobbies, and your address. he didn’t mean to at first, but he did find your thoughts and imagination fascinating. he even finds himself listening to you during class like you’re his favorite podcast

• saiki is crazily protective over you.

— there was a time where you nearly got mugged! and when i say ‘nearly’, well, let’s just say you should be grateful saiki was there to protect you. can’t you see that he’ll always be here for you in a time of need? he’ll keep you safe, but only if you see that for yourself…

• saiki doesn’t think he’s the jealous type, but he will stop any other man who has a crush on you by any means necessary by either relentlessly embarrassing them for the rest of the day or wiping you from their memory because only saiki can have you. no one else. he doesn’t care how many people he has to make forget you to become your boyfriend

• what’s that? you wish it was a sunny day in japan instead of a rainy one? don’t you worry about a thing! saiki will handle that for you!

• stalking you is almost child’s play to saiki since he has so many powers to ensure you don’t spot him — shapeshifting, teleportation, you name it! but this is a good thing because you don’t have to worry about him being an aggressive type of yandere

— if he is following behind you when you’re walking home, i do think saiki would change to his female self, so you would be less scared

• once the author made you bring coffee jelly to school and willingly give it up to saiki after seeing him light up at the sight of it, saiki knew that he just had to marry you

• he could, quite literally, turn the world upside down for you if it meant that you’ll be with him.

[metukika]

i just think that

[bbq-potato-chip]

get loved idiot

[emerulynn]

he would 100% use his restoring powers once the paint chips

[yeageryann]

He knows...

[emergencyd4]

Redraw after a year :33

[kusuokisser]

me and my fuckass son who beams words into my head

[anonymousewrites]

A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Five

Kusuo Saiki x Reader

Chapter Five: Ramen Shops

Summary: Saiki goes to a ramen shop (he is dragged there by a bunch of bothers)

            “We still aren’t there yet?” asked Kaidou.

            He, Nendou, (Y/N), and Saiki were heading to a ramen shop that Nendou had heard about. Saiki had gotten roped in as usual. He wanted to get coffee jelly with (Y/N), but he instead was stuck with Nendou and Kaidou, too. He thought it couldn’t get worse than being with two of his bothers and missing out on coffee jelly, but he was proved wrong. (The world hated him and wanted to prove everything could always be worse).

            “Oh, Saiki? What’re you doing here?”

            There stood Teruhashi, glowing and sparkling as usual.

            “Oh!” squeaked Kaidou.

            “T-Teruhashi!” stammered Nendou.

            The boys blushed profusely as they looked at the perfect pretty girl.

            (Y/N) gave a friendly wave.

            “What’re you guys doing out together?” asked Teruhashi.

            “Well, Nendou said he knows a good ramen shop, so he’s taking us there,” said Kaidou, rushing through the sentences nervously.

            “That’s right! We’re headed there to pig ou—I mean, eat!” said Nendou.

            “It’s our first time checking it out,” added (Y/N).

            “Oh, ramen, huh?” remarked Teruhashi. She glanced over at Saiki. “If you don’t mind, can I come with you? Am I being a bit pushy?” She winked cutely.

            “W-Well, I don’t mind!” squeaked Kaidou.

            “It’d be great if you came!” said Nendou.

            “The more the merrier!” chirped (Y/N).

            Seriously? You, too? Saiki sighed.

            This is the perfect chance to get Saiki to say “Oh, wow” and stop paying so much attention to (L/N)! Sure, they’re not ugly, but I’m the person he should be paying attention to! I’m the perfect pretty girl! thought Teruhashi as they walked through the streets, gaining attention from passersby.

            “Is the shop this way?” she asked angelically, completely at odds with her aggressively competitive thoughts.

            “Ah, yes,” said Nendou rather formally.

            (Y/N) was laughing at their friends’ sudden transformations (excepting Saiki, of course).

            At least they’re enjoying themself. Saiki supposed one person enjoying themself was better than none, and although he’d rather be the one enjoying himself, he preferred when (Y/N) was happy. It was what they always should be.

            “Why, I didn’t expect you to eat ramen, Teruhashi,” said Nendou, a strangely gentlemanlike face on his face.

            Saiki was glad Nendou’s strange face could distract him from his own new thoughts.

            Teruhashi giggled. “Say, Kaidou.” She turned to the suddenly shy boy.

            “Y-Yes?!” he squeaked nervously.

            “Why do you always have bandages on your hands?” asked Teruhashi.

            “Oh, I do it so my powers won’t go out of control!” stammered Kaidou.

            “Powers…?” questioned Teruhashi. “Sorry, I can’t quite understand what you’re saying.”

            “Well, it just got like this! I don’t even know why!” Kaidou began unwinding his bandages while blushing heavily. “I’ll take them off!”

            (Y/N) caught the gauze, rolled it up, and put it in their pocket. “He’s probably gonna regret that once she’s gone,” they whispered to Saiki.

            So they notice that people act odd around Teruhashi. That means they probably are being genuinely nice to Teruhashi, not just being affected like everyone else. (Y/N)’s just a nice person. Saiki wasn’t surprised by that thought. (Y/N) was a genuinely good person. It was a reason he liked to be around them. Tolerated them. Put up with them. It all meant the same thing. (it did not).

            They’re so excited! But that’s just natural since they can have a meal with me, the prettiest girl in the world! thought Teruhashi. So why are they acting so calm?! Kunio Kunio! Why aren’t you saying “Oh, wow”? That should always be your reaction when you see me! And (L/N) (Wrong Name)! You don’t act differently at all! And Saiki always pays attention to you, even when I’m the perfect pretty girl! What could you possibly have that you don’t?!

            Yare yare. (Y/N) doesn’t bring attention to me or try to make me act differently. Saiki could just be himself.

            What makes so that a cool, mysterious guy like him that has a gaze who could look right through you… Teruhashi became lost in her fantasy.

            Saiki made a face.

            (Y/N) laughed. “That’s the most you’ve ever changed your expression!”

            Saiki schooled his expression. They were unfortunately quite observant, still.

            Oh, no! I take it all back! Even in her own mind, Teruhashi couldn’t allow herself to obsess over a boy. It all had to be about making him obsess over her. At any rate, I’ll use my charm to make him look at me instead of them and say “Oh, wow” today for sure!

            I’m attracting her attention. Saiki hadn’t gotten away from her at all.

            “Ah, we have arrived,” said Nendou. He pointed at a small restaurant. “This is the ramen shop.”

            “Wow, I’m hungry,” chirped Teruhashi. “Oh, wow.” She turned blank uncomfortably.

            “Whoa…” muttered (Y/N), making a face as they looked at the rundown shop.

            “I heard their ramen is crazy good,” said Nendou. “A relative of one of my friends’ dog walkers said so. It’ll be fine.”

            “So it’s a rumor…” said (Y/N). That’s never good.

            “Hey, don’t be stupid!” cried Kaidou. “There’s no way Teruhashi woulg go in a place like that! You don’t want to eat in a nasty restaurant like this, right, Teruhashi?!”

            “W-Well, I’m okay with it,” said Teruhashi blankly and begrudgingly.

            “A-Are you sure you’re okay with it?!” asked Kaidou.

            “Yeah, I’m fine with it,” lied Teruhashi.

            (Y/N) leaned over to Saiki and whispered, “Do you want to pretend we’re not hungry and go to Café Mami after this?”

            “Yes, but let’s go along with this for now,” said Saiki, but he was happy to acquiesce to (Y/N)’s idea. Sweet treats with someone he…fine, someone he enjoyed being around, sounded nice. Hopefully, this will dampen Teruhashi’s interest in me if she gets disgusted by where she thinks I hang out.

            (Y/N) grinned (slightly devilishly). “You’re enjoying this.”

            Saiki just looked at them. Yare yare. Too observant.

            “Well, a little bad luck builds character in people,” chirped (Y/N). “Besides…I trust you, Saiki. You’re not exactly going to revel in somebody being miserable. Anyways.” They waved their hand. “Teruhashi will probably head home afterwards and get offered some fancy food to make up for this. The others will be fine.” They turned away.

            Saiki blinked. Huh.

            The group walked into the shop. It was even grosser inside and completely empty.

            “What is this place?! This is beyond terrible!” said Kaidou. He looked at Teruhashi. “Hey, seriously, you don’t have to push yourself.”

            “I’ll be fine,” lied Teruhashi expertly, “What’s important is the taste.” She smiled angelically.

            They all sat down at a table.

            “Manager!” called Nendou. “Five ramens, please!”

            “Oh, no, thank you,” said (Y/N).

            “Oh, you’re not going to eat here?” asked Teruhashi.

            “I had a snack earlier today!” lied (Y/N), smiling brightly. “Plus, I forgot to bring money with me, and I don’t want to bother anyone today!”

            If they can lie this well, maybe I should worry about not being able to read their thoughts. Immediately after, Saiki dismissed that worry. (Y/N) had a good heart and was earnest as far as he knew. He could trust them.

            Not that that mattered in any way. It was just a thought.

            “Oh, alright, pinky, next time, then!” said Nendou.

            That’s how easy it is?! Maybe I should lie about having to leave… considered Teruhashi.

            Yes, please.

            No! I am the perfect pretty girl, not an average girl! I will persevere!

            The manager walked out. “Alright, four ramens coming up then.” He was extremely sweaty, balding, and unhealthily overweight. After fixing their dishes, he walked back over. “Here ya go.” He set the bowls down.

            The ramen smelled terrible and was spilling from cracks in the bowls. All in all, it looked uneatable. (Y/N) became even more glad that they made up an excuse. Their companions, who had not done anything to avoid this, all had rather nauseated faces.

            Teruhashi began to eat the ramen robotically. Clearly, she was forcing herself through this. Kaidou and Nendou watched in shock (neither saw that she was making herself do it).

            “I-I don’t think you should eat it,” stuttered Kaidou warningly.

            Teruhashi blinked.

            (Y/N) nodded. “That might be unsafe.” Sure, they were fine with some things not going Teruhashi’s way; it was something people had to learn to deal with in life (even perfect pretty girls). However, (Y/N) wasn’t mean. They wouldn’t willingly endanger someone’s health.

            “Hey, pops! Even pigs wouldn’t eat this stuff!” yelled Nendou.

            “Shut up! Then beat it!” shouted the manager.

            Quickly, the teenagers cleared out of the disgusting restaurant. As they walked away, poor Teruhashi clutched her stomach. Nendou and Kaidou tended to her sympathetically.

            The perfect girl, huh? Hmm…If she can go that far in order to play the perfect girl, maybe she already is perfect. Saiki’s eyes trailed over to (Y/N). Well, perfect for eight billion people. Other people are better for me.

            To spend time with, anyway.

            (Y/N) looked at Saiki. “Still want to go get coffee jelly?”

            “Yes.” Saiki didn’t even need to think about that answer.

            “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Grinning, (Y/N) grabbed his wrist and pulled him behind them as they ran into an alley that led to another street. They left Nendou, Kaidou, and Teruhashi far behind.

            The perfect person. To hang out with. To just be with.

            Saiki was glad to smell Café Mami’s sweet treats baking as his thoughts spiraled.

            Finally, the pair stopped outside Café Mami. (Y/N) was panting but laughing. Saiki just watched them, slightly amused in his own way.

            “Let’s go in! I’m starving,” said (Y/N).

            In response, Saiki nodded. They grabbed a table in a corner so that anyone passing by wouldn’t notice them. (Y/N) knew he’d prefer the privacy. They ordered and quickly received coffee jelly. They both sighed contentedly as they took their first bite.

            After a time, (Y/N) looked up at Saiki. “So, what was that whole thing with Teruhashi earlier?” When they got no response, they sighed. “Come on, I know something was going on. You clearly didn’t like the look of that restaurant, and you admitted to testing her in a way. So, what was it all about?”

            “She brings attention to me when she hangs around. I think she wants me to say ‘Oh, wow’ since I don’t.” Saiki ensured his explanation was phrased as a theory. Otherwise, he risked outing himself as a psychic. (Y/N) was pretty happy-go-lucky but could make a connection from observations pretty easily. Saiki had to be careful. They showed common sense at all the wrong times.

            “So it’s the Teruhashi version of interest in a guy?” (Y/N) laughed. “I guess people always want what they can’t have.” Somehow, that statement made their heart clench, and they almost frowned but focused on Saiki again.

            Once again, their insight is correct. I want normalcy, something I can’t have. And I want… Saiki watched as (Y/N) happily continued to eat their coffee jelly. He felt comfortable and normal with them. He felt like he could be himself without fear of judgement (minus psychic abilities). You’re the only one I can admit is my friend, (Y/N).

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