#sarah killed this idk what else to say

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Merry Christmas (if you celebrate) from my family to yours!!!

drawn by @sarahkelsiwrites​ circa 2019!

[mariocki]

Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

"What's going on, Curt, tell me what happened?"

"We had an accident."

"What kind of an accident?"

"On the bike."

"What happened?"

"You died."

"I what?"

[starkeygirlposts]

Goosebumps in my Sleeve CH. 2

Welcome back for part 2! I hope you enjoy! Please read the excerpt at the end!

Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.

*In this story, Rafe kills Peterkin after accidentally shooting Sarah. Also, just to note, Renfeild did not die (this will make sense in the next chapter)

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Trigger warnings: stepcest, drugs, pregnancy, noncon, swearing, pregnancy, p in v sex, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, domestic violence, sex, idk what else lol

Playlist:

*Even Cowboys Cry by Dasha

Beautiful Things by Benson Boone

Atlantis by Seafret

Braided by Emily Rowed

18+ mdni

PREVIOUS PART

----

Your hands are trembling as you quietly tell him “I don’t trust you, Rafe."

You can’t meet his eyes, so the two of you are silent for a while, until you feel his footsteps approach you before seeing his feet before you. You feel his fingertips graze your chin as he grips it between his thumb and tilts your head up.

His brow is furrowed, his head cocked to the side with one eye squinting in confusion when he repeats what you’d just told him. “You don’t trust me?” You wonder how it’s so hard for him to believe.

You laugh humorless, “Why would I trust you?! What have you shown to me in the last year that warrants my trust? You can hurt me, shun me, but you will not do the same to a baby.” You’re seething, eyes burning holes into his now, fire deep in your belly at the thought of him abandoning his child like he did you. A child who you knew would seek his approval their entire life, just like Rafe does with Ward. The idea makes you sick.

You’ve let him do as he pleased for a year. Allowed your “relationship” or lack there of to abide by his rules, allowed him into your bed and your heart without any recourse. You were done now. This changed everything.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, you sneer, “Big, bad Rafe Cameron who’s so afraid of his daddy, he lets his words scare him into ghosting his girlfriend. Why the fuck should I trust you? I don’t believe that ‘you’ll make this okay’, when you left me to pick up the pieces that night without even bothering to try and fight for us.” The corners of your mouth are upturned in what you can only describe as disgust as you finally look at him, embarrassment and shame at the forefront of your mind as you imagine yourself on all the nights you’ve laid on your bed and allowed him to use your body to the point that his seed stuck inside of you to create another human being. Another Rafe. You’re shaking now, teeth bared and eyes glossy, anger bubbling from your middle up to your mouth. You take his silence as encouragement to continue.

“You’re a coward.” You finally tell him, jerking your chin out of his grasp before slapping his hand away, all the while holding his line of sight. “You’re weak and pathetic. You’re a poor excuse for a man and if you think I’d trust you after all of this, you’re mistaken.” You finally say, stepping around him and heading toward the door to hold it open so he can kindly get the fuck out.

But just as you get a foot in front of him, you feel his hand on the back of your neck, hurling you back around to face him as he tilts your head up to hover his lips mere inches from yours.

He finally opens his mouth against yours to murmur. “You done?” Your hand comes up to shove at his chest, but he doesn’t budge, his chest poking into yours, not letting up on his grip on you. His eyes bore into yours and you swear you see a smirk across his mouth. “I’m looking past this little tantrum you’re having right now because I’m still not even sure I’m not hallucinating right now, but don’t think I won’t remember this shit.” He tells you and now you know you see a smirk on his face. His eyes soften cunningly when he says “You don’t think I’m weak when I’m balls deep inside your cunt, or down your throat.” His finger traces down your chin down to the hollow of your throat before you swat it away.

"Was I not enough? Only now that I’ve got this…thing growing inside of me, you suddenly care? Now you’re going to be big brother of the year, huh? Now you’re gonna step it up and make it all okay!” You snort, "You get high instead of dealing with your problems…is standing up to daddy too scary? Afraid he’ll cut you off? Was that so much worse than losing me?” You’re spitting your words, the back of your neck still in a vice grip as he runs his nose down your cheek, inhaling as his skin sweeps over yours. It’s intimate, more intimate than he is with you when he slides inside you. You think he’s trying to break you, intimidate you even. You feel his hot breath next to your ear as he takes the lobe into his mouth, gently sucking before whispering,

"It’s not my fault your mom’s a whore who couldn’t stand on her own two feet for more than five minutes.” He slurs at you and you almost laugh at his poor attempt at hurting you with words.

You shove your entire body against him and this time he does stumble back. You watch him as his hair flops in his eyes, glazed from the drugs and alcohol as he wipes the corner of his mouth with his thumb and smiles at you like he’s amused. “Screw you. You think I don’t hate my fucking mother for this? Maybe I should ask you to kill her for me just like you killed someone for him. I wonder if I’m important enough, though.” You scoff and mutter under your breath, “And I’m supposed to "trust" you to take care of me when it’s only going against what daddy wants?” You look up and meet his gaze, him watching you and you wonder if that did it.

It’s you not believing in him to protect you that sets him off.

"Would you rather have been shipped off to California? I made a choice, baby. Fucking in secret wasn’t as bad as not fucking at all.” Your nose wrinkles at his grotesque depiction of your union. He’s approaching you now, and you allow his hand to come up and cup the side of your face. You can’t help but soften when he touches you this way. He looks into your eyes and even though his pupils are blown black, you still see the lonely boy you love there. “You really think no one knows? When you’re moaning my name and my hand is between your legs instead over your mouth, you really think no one hears you? Wake up silly girl,” he taps your temple with two fingers before you wince at his insensitive words. "They know, sweetheart. They just don’t care enough about you to let it change anything.”

You're silent, teeth gnawing at the inside of your cheeks as you process what he says. Your eyes well up with tears as you stare back at him wordlessly. You have nothing left to say. What do you say to that? You’ve fought your fight here. But as always, he knows just how to plunge the knife where it hurts deepest. He watches you almost in wonder, waiting for your rebuttal before you blink and the tears drip down your cheeks in streams. Your lids stay closed and you can’t help the sobs that escape your mouth as you start to cry.

It wasn’t always this way, or so you think. You think your mom must have put your wants and needs, even your happiness above hers at one point. But after your dad, did it all change then? Or was it really always this way and you were you too blind to see it? Too good of a daughter to think the person you loved most in this world didn’t love you just as much in return. His words have you shuffling through your memories like a file cabinet to wonder and question everything in your life.

“No no no no no no,” He starts stuttering, blubbering even before pulling you to his chest, the back of your head cradled in his palm as the monster who maims you also reels you in for consolation. You can’t help the crying mess you’ve become now, and maybe hormones are to blame but it isn’t where your mind is going right now. “Shit, shiiiiit, I - fuck - it was too far. I know it was too far. But you know I’m the one who cares about you here baby. You know that don’t you?" He rambles, arm wrapping around your middle and rocking you back and forth. “Come on, don’t cry. I’m - I’m sorry, okay? Just don’t cry. Shit, I’m fucking sorry baby I didn’t mean - ” He’s begging but he doesn’t take back his words - how could he when everything he said is nothing but true? You cut him off by whispering to him to "please shut up".

You sniffle, using his sleeve to stop your nose from dripping, breathing in the scent of his deodorant and laundry detergent. Your hand comes up to cup over his bicep, and you mumble against his sleeve, “Show me you’re the one who cares.” So he pulls his head to you from the side of your temple, craning his neck to look down at you, your eyes blinking softly and he’s so fucking sorry for making you cry, especially now that you’ve got his kid inside you, so he loosens and kisses away the tears on cheeks before kissing your lips and telling you again that he’s going to make it okay.

His hands come up to cradle the crook of where your jaw meets your ears, his thumbs pressing massagingly there, causing your knees to buckle but he keeps you upright, one hand snaking down to sneak under your shirt and upwards until the flat of his palm rests over your warm tit, your skin on fire while his thumb and side of his pointer finger grips your nipple just tight enough to make you whimper and you’re sure you’re going to cry again, but not because you feel sad. No, right now you feel electrified, on fire with desire for the only person who truly knows you inside and out.

“Please touch me, Rafe.” You mewl and he breaks his lips from yours to chuckle, telling you “I’am touching you, pretty girl.” As his entire hand cups your boob, pulling you closer to him. His mouth resumes against yours, his tongue slotting in between your lips to caress yours, swallowing all of your whines and humming against you.

Your hands come to rest on his forearms, squeezing enough so you hope he understands that you need more.

“Touch me.” You mumble again, grabbing his hand from under your shirt. He groans into your mouth, pulling away and looking down to watch you as you guide his hand lower, past your belly button and down to the elastic band of your night shorts. His thumb teases against the fabric as he looks back up to your eyes, and he looks like a child who’s just been given the toy that's been on his wish list. His feet shuffle him closer to you as he grinds his hips against you, and you can feel the hardness of him against your belly, his eyes never leaving yours.

“You’re such a slut for my cock aren’t you baby? Should’ve known you couldn’t stay away from me. They’re so fucking stupid.” He chuckles to himself and you roll your eyes, bucking your hips up and into him, hoping he’ll take the bait. He does, his hand slipping into your shorts and panties, his index finger sweeping through your folds and you shudder. Goosebumps prick at your skin, your eyes closing and you whimper his name. The cold metal of his ring kisses your clit and you cry out, your hands fisting into his shirt and clutching him closer to you. You tilt your head up to his, his eyes scanning your face hoping to memorize you like this.

He can’t help the swell in his chest as he looks at you in adoration. The way your brows furrow in frustration at not being able to cry out louder at the pleasure he’s bringing you. The way your mouth hangs open to let quiet whines and mewls escape, chasing your release. The way you stare back at him with a glaze over your pupils, so cock hungry and needy. How is it possible that he’s procreated with someone so fucking perfect?

“Hope our baby looks just like you. Can’t be hard to share the love I have for you with a kid who looks just like their momma.” Your eyes open and look into his, your mouth parting in a moan when you weakly tell him to stop it.

“Why? S’true. Kid’ll be cursed if it comes out looking like me.” He mumbles. You keep watching his eyes as he uses his pointer and ring finger to spread you and slide his middle finger into your heat. You can’t help the gasp and whine that exits your mouth and you bite your lip to stifle your sigh.

“Mmm, Rafe…baby would be so lucky to look like you. Stop punishing y - your - self.” He’s stealing breath from you as he picks up the pace, adding his pointer finger now and circling your clit with his thumb. His pressure is firm as he coaxes your orgasm from you and your mouth hangs open with his name and cry spilling from you as he watches with his own mouth hung open as if he’s coaxing the sounds you're making before he brings his lips back to yours to swallow your voice.

You tremble in his arms as he picks you up easily, palms cupping both ass cheeks as he walks you to the bed and rests you down, using his knees to straddle over you. He mumbles against your lips something about why your clothes are still on and you don’t bother responding, your hands clumsily helping his to tug your shorts and panties down your legs and off your feet, his hands pushing your top up all the way over your chest and tugs it off your head and throws it to the mounting pile on the floor. His hands find their way to the backs of your thighs, spreading you out before him, knees bent back to the sides of your chest as he licks a stripe down between the valley of your breasts, over your belly button and down between your folds where he sucks your clit into his mouth and you see stars. Your vision is suddenly glittery and you grip his wrist, sitting up on both elbows as you look down at him. Your other hand comes to grip a handful of hair at the top of his head, your nails tracing his bangs back before gripping tightly. He groans in pain but sucks you anyway and the sensation is too much. You start whining, louder than you mean to and he taps your thigh to get you to snap back, to which you do and you mumble a ‘sorry’. Your clit pops from his mouth as he draws his face back before sliding 2 fingers back inside you, his eyes flicking to yours briefly before putting his mouth back on you. His tongue ravishes your cunt, flicking and nibbling and sucking and before you know what’s happening you feel like you’re peeing and his mouth is off of you, your head snapping back up to look down at him and he’s just watching you spray him with cum. He slowly drags his eyes over you and up to yours before sliding his fingers out of you and tearing his pants open and pulling his cock out. He’s inside you before you even know what’s happening, his hands on the backs of your knees and he’s telling you how good of a girl you are.

“Holy fuck, baby, just fucking squirted for me…you have any idea how lucky I am? My girl made a mess all over me. So fucking hot baby.” He’s rambling while dragging his cock in and out of you, the squelching sound of your pussy making you wince in embarrassment. He lowers his face down to yours and asks you if you can hear how well you’re taking him.

“Hear yourself baby? Pussy’s taking me so well. Making such pretty noises f’me.” His lips are hovering over yours, brows furrowed in determination as he fucks you ruthlessly. You can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix over and over and it’s entirely too much and you tell him he’s too deep.

“Y’too deep, Rafe. Feel you in my belly.” You whine and he chuckles, without humor, lowering his lips to yours. His breath is hot on your mouth and you open your eyes to find him watching you.

“You feel me in there sweet girl?” His hand comes over to put pressure on the exact spot the tip of his cock keeps touching and you swear you’re going to pass out.

“Oh my godddd” You whisper, voice pitched high and quiet, gritting through your teeth.

His other hand leaves your knee to grip your jaw in his hand, your lips puckering like a fish. His eyes bore holes into yours when he says "If I didn’t already know you were cookin’ a baby in here, I’d fuck you until you were pregnant.”

You grit your teeth tighter, clenching your molars as he fucks you fast and deep, the wet sounds of his balls slapping your ass becoming more and more frequent before he tells you “I fucking love you baby, making me a daddy. So fucking proud of you.” You whimper in reply as you gush around him, fluid spilling from you and coating his dick before he stills buried all the way inside you, slotted against that high spot of your cervix and his cum shoots hot spurts inside your walls.

“Think s’a good thing you’re already knocked up.” He says against your lips, cupping your cheek and then resting his temple against yours, peppering your neck with sloppy kisses.

---

The next morning you wake up, Rafe is still next to you. You feel his arm around you, tracing gentle circles between your shoulder blades as you let your eyes adjust to the daylight. You don’t immediately react, but as you come to, your eyes widen and you withdraw from him and out of bed. He’s awake, looking at you and you stare at him incredulously.

“What the fuck Rafe? What if someone came in here?” You whisper yell, scouring the ground for your clothes.

He stays quiet, all the while watching you move around your room nervously until you still your movements, still naked and you look back at him. He’s naked too, which he wasn’t fully when you were fucking, so you know he must have stayed awake longer than you last night and knowingly shed himself of clothing before climbing into bed with you to stay.

“What are you still doing here?” You ask, picking up your pajamas from the floor and putting them back on.

“You’re really fucking pregnant.” He says and you can't help but snort, irritated at his presence if you're honest and even more irritated with his idiocy.

“Did you think I was kidding? Do you even remember last night?” You ask, huffing as you pull your shirt over your head. Only then does he sit up and pull the covers off to sit on the edge of the bed. “C’mere.” He says, holding his arms out for you. You roll your eyes and begrudgingly obey, standing between his spread legs. You’re thankful his boxers are still on. The chivalry.

His hands wrap around the backs of your thighs, squeezing gently before allowing them to wrap around the front of your legs and skate up to your middle. He drags the satin of your pajama shirt up with his hands as they rake up your stomach and when it’s fully exposed, he just watches you. His eyes are trained on your flat stomach and you teeter on the balls of your feet, huffing in annoyance as his eyes flash to yours quickly before returning to your belly. He leans forward, turning his head to press his cheek to your skin as his hands wrap around your back to drag you closer to him. He hugs you like this, face pressed to your stomach and you can’t help but sigh and bring your own hands up to cradle his head to you. You stay like that for what feels like eternity before you feel his breath on your skin.

“Nothing I can say is going to change any of this. You were right I was afraid of my dad. I probably always will be afraid of him. But I’m more afraid of becoming him. I am weak, I am a coward…but I want to be better. I’m so sorry for ever letting you go.” His voice is quiet, but you can hear him perfectly and when you hear the wet sniffle, your hands clutch his head tighter, fingers running soothingly through his hair. “Promise I’m gonna be a good dad.” Your hands drag his head to tilt up and look at you so you can tell him “I know.” leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

“Swear baby, I’m gonna find a way for us to get out of here. Gonna make you my wife. Gonna buy you a house, gonna be better.” He sniffles and you smile and nod, knowing hoping he would make good on his word this time.

---

THREE MONTHS LATER

You hear thumping coming from underneath your feet as you sip on the tea you just brewed. All is quiet tonight, Ward and your mom having gone to bed an hour ago and Wheezie in her room probably drawing x’s and o’s all over her J-14 magazines. You’d also tucked in for the night but when the turning in your stomach started to bubble into acid reflux, you knew that the ginger tea your doctor had recommended would help.

“Not letting you out until you calm down, okay?” He says calmly but loud enough for you to hear, and your feet follow his voice to the spiral staircase that leads down to the wine cellar. You hesitate there before hearing Sarah's voice, muffled but shout “Screw you!” Your feet carry you down the first few steps, trying to be quiet and not spill your overflowing cup of tea. The back of his head is what you see first, his north face jacket hugging his torso as he says “I’m trying to be civil here, and you’re freaking out right now - “ His head whips around to you just as your feet touch the bottom, and your eyes are blown wide as you search his for an explanation.

“Who - who’s in there?” You timidly say, setting the cup of tea down on the closest end table. You already know the answer to your question, but you want him to answer anyway. “It’s Sarah” he tells you, stepping closer to you before you blink wildly “Sarah - why is Sarah in there? Is she locked in there? Why is she locked in there?” You stutter, trying to step around him but his hands come up to grip your upper arms, chasing your face with his until you meet his eyes. “Hey, hey, hey baby she’s locked in there because sometimes you have to make the hard choice. I got the cross. I got it for us and - and s - sh - she knows.” He finally tells you all of it and you get it. “You got it?” You whisper, dismayed. You’re not sure if you’re elated, mortified, or both. You go with the latter. You know how volatile Rafe is when he wants something. You start to wonder how he acquired it after all of this time and back and forth, and you are absolutely terrified of the answer.

---

NEXT PART

CHAPTER 2 DOWN! Have half of chapter 3 written. Thinking this will be longer than I originally thought! Not complaining! Please interact! I will NOT add you to the tag list if you are only commenting to add to the list.

Please repost, and leave a comment so I know you like the story!

Is everyone happy with the direction this story is heading in? My request box is open! I am willing to put anything into the story!

See y’all soon!

TAGLIST:

@kiiyomei @carrerascameron @mariaenchanted @slumnit @lillell467 @ijustwanttoreadlols @droppedyourhnd @maybankslover @a-library-ofmy-own @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @namelesslosers @ILOVETOSLAYSLAYSLAY

[marlenesluv]

Ken and Barbie. (LL)

summary: reader is an actress in outer banks as sarah cameron’s younger sister, and while filming in New Zealand, she meets Liam Lawson.

note: idk if they ever filmed in New Zealand, its j for the plot 🫶

pairing: liam lawson x actress!reader

fc: ava alfaro (avaalfaroo on insta) (picked her bc she genuinely looks like madelyn clone a bit lol)

warnings: minor cussing

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: liamlawson30, rudeth, and 1,244,913 others

y/n.user: i <3 🇳🇿

view comments…

obxfan5: THE LAST PICTURE??

y/nfp: you’re actually a goddess

cline9edits: her and madelyn are literally siblings

↳ user3: huh? they are..?

↳ cline9edits: omggg no, im j saying they look sm alike

↳ user3: ohhhh, yeah. the casting department did sooo good here

madisonbaileybabe: i’m the best photographer 💁‍♀️

↳ y/n.user: you really are

f2edits: *liam lawson likes a post* *i spawn there to see what’s going on*

user7: LMAO rudy and drew😭

↳ starkeysgf0: my bf’s asf

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.user, yukitsunoda0511, and 213,193 others

liamlawson30: 🇳🇿❤️

view comments…

user2: what is it finna play…? WOAHHHGG

liamledits: holy shit, who is this girl??

f1editpag3: guys, we know she’s blonde!! FIND BLONDE GIRLS WITH A BLONDE POTENTIAL BF

↳ y/nfp4: …………….@y/n.user

↳ f1editpag3: OMG, and they are both in new zealand and soft launching a bf/gf, suspicious

f1wags: ik liam isnt in f1 (yet) but i am totally posting abt them 

y/nfp111: anyone else see y/n liking this one?? 😏

yukitsunoda0511: do i know who this is?

↳ liamlawson30: shut up, just text me mate

user6: whoever this girl is, she’s lucky asffff

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

your instagram story:

seen by: liamlawson30, madelyncline, and 1,013,824 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Liam On a Podcast:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

liked by: liamlawson30, francisca.cgomes, and 1,301,813 others

y/n.user: ken & barbie 💗💐

view comments…

f1wags: it’s literally them🥺😩😭

liamlawson30: and i don’t have a good day unless barbie looks at me🙃🩷

↳ y/n.user: but you’re kenough☹️🩷✊

user3: hellllooooo?? they are the cutest, your honor

editf1p8: living for the shirt, y/n!!

drewstarkey: mmm slay icons

↳ rudeth: hm, yeah slay!

user8: the way y/n could literally play barbie and liam could play ken💅

austinnorth55: ik im not ur actually big brother, but i will kill him if he hurts you💪

↳ liamlawson30: i wont, why would i??

↳ austinnorth55: don’t be snarky, you’re on probation

↳ liamlawson30: what??

↳ madelyncline: oh yeah, you’ve entered a tight knit little family, let them warm up to you

↳ y/n.user: don’t scare him off

↳ liamlawson30: nothing will scare me off

user4: they are so cuteeeeee, i need this tbh

lailahasanovic: pretty girl!!!

↳ y/n.user: 💜

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

liked by: y/n.user, logansargeant, and 347,048 others

liamlawson30: babe took my to the outer banks for her shoot💓

view comments…

y/n.user: the outer banks🙃🫶

↳ hichasestokes: paradise on earth ☀️⛱️

↳ rudeth: WOOHOOOOOO BABY

user3: them getting so hype abt the next season gives me LIFE

f1wags: y/n is actually so gorgeous wtf??

obxedit2: petition for liam to be on obx 😋

↳ y/n1fp9: no literallyyyy. they are too cute i need them always

oscarpiastri: not sure why i wasn’t invited 🙄

↳ rudeth: come next time! the more, the marrier!

↳ y/n.user: merrier*

↳ rudeth: we sure she shouldn’t play popes little sister? always correcting me

↳ jonathandavissofficial: i wouldn’t have been upset about that. she’s my favorite out of all of you

↳ rudeth: that’s actually fucking rude

↳ liamlawson30: …..yikeys mate

user9: cutest couple ever, thank you

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

liked by: liamlawson30, madisonbaileybabe, and 1,460,024 others

y/n.user: that’s a wrap!! obx is yours…soon☀️🩷🐚

view comments…

liamlawson30: my beautiful actress😇❤️

↳ y/n.user: my handsome driver😊❤️

user5: ugh, y/n is actually so pretty it’s unfair. plsss

f1wags: nothing guys, just me crying over their cuteness

user4: lfgggg, you’re an icon UGH

obx5: plsss i love how y/n is just merging with f2 and f1 fans. shes gonna be so cute in the paddock fr

↳ llfp3: wishing i was her fr

paddockgirls1: y/n!! can we have a release date 🙏😇

↳ y/n.user: i wish i could, but i’ll get in trouble🤐 keep your eyes peeled tho!! :)

↳ paddockgirls1: HOLY SHAT- okay queen🫠🫠

user7: LOL YUKI AND LIAM

francisca.cgomes: prettiest girl everrrrr. can’t wait for the new season❤️

↳ y/n.user: awww kika, ily. i cant wait for you to see it either😁❤️

wagcityf1: kika and y/n hangout when??

*liked by creator and francisca.cgomes*

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

your instagram story:

seen by: liamlawson30, pierregasly, and 1,129,024 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[yanderes-galore]

Axel My bloody valentine (Original) Romantic hcs :3

Idk why my drafts originally said Prompts for this... I got confused, Ig. Anyways, here's Axel. A bit out of season but... who cares, right? I did the Black Christmas one out of season too.

Yandere! Axel Palmer Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Murder, Blood, Graphic descriptions, Possessive behavior, Violence, Death, Stalking, Removal of human hearts, Forced relationship.

Axel is unhinged, yet it's also similar to a Scream situation based on what I've seen.

Axel is shown to be able to hide his unhinged behavior and act "normal".

There's some times he's violent however... like with T.J and Sarah.

Then of course there's the whole reveal of Axel being the murderer near the end of the film.

Due to watching his father be killed by Harry Warden, he soon deems himself the miner's successor.

It's in that moment at the end of the movie that we see him so unhinged.

Keeping this in mind, I can see Axel fooling his obsession easily as he picks people off.

Considering this is technically a "Valentine's Day" film and the last line Axel says in the movie... He'd see his obsession as his valentine.

He wants you as his partner... and he won't let anyone else change his mind.

Axel is pretty good at playing the double role, pretending to be a victim to win over his obsession's sympathy.

Meanwhile, he's a murderer who wants to kill anyone who gets too close to you.

Axel isn't afraid to get messy and obviously tends to use deception.

His whole thing is putting human hearts in chocolate boxes.

I'm not surprised he'd get himself bloody and gruesome when it comes to rivals.

He tends to use his pickaxe, but he's shown to use other methods.

Axel definitely tries to present himself as a caring boyfriend to you.

He's around you often, usually quite clingy as he nuzzles into your hair.

Axel wants to play his role well, you don't need to suspect a thing.

He'd be one to give you heart boxes of chocolates with a smile, gently kissing your skin as he continues to pretend.

Meanwhile he's also the one sending you human hearts with their boxes covered in blood, right after one of your close friends goes missing.

While Axel tends to play roles and pretend... the one thing that isn't fake is his obsession towards you.

He stalks you around when alone.

He often whispers your name with delusional glee as he tears the heart out of someone.

Axel sees himself as your only love.

He should be your only love.

You're the only one for him, but more importantly, he's the only one for you.

Axel is possessive, as shown with how he is against T.J.

He tends to get into fights and be violent if someone else takes interest in you.

In your case, they may quickly be found dead due to Axel feeling threatened.

Axel will do anything to preserve the relationship between you.

That mostly includes getting rid of rivals and spoiling you the best he can.

When you encounter "Harry Warden", you won't know it's him for a long time.

Although it's weird the miner spares you in particular.

Being offered human hearts only works in Axel's favor.

That rival is gone and he drives you even closer to him.

The notes with the hearts are often twisted declarations of love and murder towards you.

Meanwhile Axel's notes are soft and affectionate when he gives you chocolate.

In terms of if he'd kidnap you?

I can think of two answers.

The first one is... yes.

I can see Axel capturing you as Harry Warden in order to keep you somewhere more isolated.

Then he'll never have to share you, he'll never have to be jealous, and you'll be his.

You'd be tied up and in an abandoned building or maybe even deep in the mines temporarily, all while Axel sits in front of you with a smile.

You plead with him to let you go, but he merely shakes his head.

Why would he let his beloved valentine go?

You two are meant to be.

There's no way he'd let you go.

While you're tied up, bound, and crying... Axel merely cups your face and coos.

He'd kiss your face and lips, even if he was covered in dirt and blood.

You'd be all his... all his to hold... no one to share with.

No one will ever find you again.

Not without dying, that is.

The other option is no, he'd kill you instead.

Both options are driven by the same emotion, jealousy.

However, the second one is the most extreme.

He'd choose such an option if he felt he couldn't keep you to himself.

If you broke up with him, rejected him, or went to someone else for help?

Axel would feel the only way to keep you as his would be to take your heart.

Axel feels, no, knows he's the only one who deserves your heart.

Which means...

He'll have it even if he has to tear it out of your chest.

Axel will try to make your death quick, making sure you're dead before rummaging around your chest cavity.

Although... He'll eventually tear your heart out of your chest with a wet snap.

Does he care if you're dead?

Not entirely.

In his eyes, you're still with him this way.

He can't lose you if he has your heart.

Imagine if Axel tried to find a way to preserve your heart, keeping it like some sort of trinket.

He'd whisper to your heart as though it's you, keeping you close with deranged chuckles.

One way or another, you'll be his.

You're his bloody valentine... forever and always.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 23 thoughts

the previous episode was SO good. but, it is true, i was distracted by the dog. it was SUCH!! a perfect episode. EXCEPT for that one thing. so i hope that today, i can face this episode with a clear head, free of judgement based on the fate of little dogs.

well, boy, i did face this episode with a clear mind, and wow. wowza. another AMAZING ep... and i will keep the angst from this episode in my heart forever and bottle it and take a nice long swig when i need my msr feels, which is basically always. wow. an exclamation point doesn't even feel APPROPRIATE, it just needs to hang in the air for a bit. (wiping tears away) wow....

let us go back to yesterday's notes, which shall commence below:

reading the episode description... so this one features murders linked to a device that alters television signals… huh. man, too many people i know don’t even have cable anymore. this simply would not work in the modern era. imagine if hulu or tubi or something made you kill people though lmao that would be silly to imagine.

we open with a guy digging a hole in the woods. always a promising start. seems he’s in an orchard of some sort? and the music is very very creepy. 

okay, so just as you suspect, this dude is burying a dead guy. sometimes your gut instinct is correct and tropes are not meant to be subverted. but the dude who is burying him says “your killing days are OVER” so is this actually a justice arc??? hmm. it is not clear. man, it would be hard to dig a hole like that.

shovel murder man is at home washing the blood off. but then someone else approaches him and he kills THAT GUY TOO WITH THE SHOVEL?? huh? what is going on. 

police at da guy’s house. everyone has the same face as the dude he just killed??? so they tase him. and then the faces go back to their REAL faces. now what is going on here!!!!!!!!!!

as the real faces return, the man realizes he killed someone named sarah!!! and he seems sooo upset by the fact that he killed sarah!!!! poor sarah :(

so does the tv make you see other people’s faces on the bodies of random people….? omg that’s insidious...

we now shift to a different scene, one where mulder is sitting in his car at 2 am. doing what???? waiting for some guy!!! he was waiting TWO HOURS for this guy!!! who is this guy...? it's giving blind date/drug deal.

the man who enters his car gives him a newspaper clipping about the murders we just saw. and mulder came here after getting AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL in the middle of the night??? this is crazy because literally so many people want him dead and this would have been a very easy way to accomplish that goal. wow. seriously, no self-preservation instincts on this guy.

mystery man says he has no obligation to explain what is going on, but if mulder walks away from it, more people will die. so no pressure!! xx

cutscene to a hospital, where mulder is watching our murderer through glass, while scully comes in saying that she is sorry she is late, but “the beltway was a parking lot”. beltway refers to interstate 495! thank you wikipedia i love your services!

murderer is named joseph. and he claims to have been killing the same guy over and over again, and that he wouldn’t die. which seems pretty awful.

OH! and the week before, in the same town, a babysitter attacked the kids she was watching because she thought they were WOLVES??? omg that is horrific??

they’re talking to the physician, dr. stroman, who says perhaps this was provoked by amphetamine abuse. then joseph starts SCREAMING. he sees a guy on the TV- miriskovic- sorry y’all idk my post-soviet history 💔 (update: i googled it, i don't even think that guy was real because all the results are links to wikis on this specific episode... reveals how little i truly know)

anyway, seeing that guy's face on the TV seems to have triggered the screaming situation. does he have trauma from the country he used to live in and seeing references to it makes these things happen…? that would be a wild episode. put me in the writer's room and let me cook.

scully quickly picks up on the fact that this case is Weird, and mulder admits it came from some random guy, which makes her suspicious. but they go to the crime scene, and, like always, he lifts the crime scene tape up over her head, and it’s very charming despite the lack of sensibility in going down this whole rabbit hole.

the minute they get in, they hear screaming and a gunshot! but it’s just some kids watching TV??? eating popcorn in a crime scene??? LMAO WHAT?

mulder kicks them out and scruffs one of the boy’s heads... ohhhh he needs to be a father so bad huh... like i have been saying this since s1 he just has a Need to tease and spoil children. well, we can unpack that another time. there's crime afoot.

so he watches the tv and it starts to go all static-y because a guy outside is fixing the wires. scully finds a TON of tapes and they’re just shelves and shelves of cable TV shows!!!

“there must be hundreds of videos here”, she says, to which he asks “anything good?” <- idk why this made me giggle. it sounded like he was gonna put one in and chill for a bit lmao

scully starts to wonder if seeing the cable news, like joseph had recorded, was what triggered his episode back at the hospital. ooooh! a theory!!! 

cut to mulder watching a tape in the bed of his motel, making an absolute pile of sunflower seeds- this dude is gonna attract mice or something someday omfg- and also he has a cola which is peak american culture. LMAOOOO he has a HUGE pile of tapes on the floor i’m crying... my type A self could NOT deal with him!

he says he watched 36 hours of bernard shaw and bobbi batista and is now also ready to kill someone as scully welcomes him into her room, which also has cola but is much more nicely organized! she found something weird on the tapes from late april, each a night when he committed a murder 

AND WHY DID MULDER GET ALL COZIED UP ON HER COUCH?????? hooooooly fuck i have never seen such a baby girl of a man

OMFG??? all the reports from the murder nights feature that miriskovic guy!!!

so did seeing violence make him violent? mulder says no, and that theory assumes that “americans are just empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that’s fed to them like a bunch of pavlov dogs, and go out and act on it” oh if only this man could see the news lately……… insert ben affleck smoking a cigarette image here to describe the things we see in our current age. mulder you would not believe.

he’s really bashing her theory, but she’s saying maybe he was high and seeing these things sent him on a spiral- makes sense to me

he is leaving to go get some sleep (after admitting he can’t explain what is going on!!! which always endears me) but scully says she is going to watch the rest of the tapes… a herculean task for our girl

middle of the night and it’s still tape time for scully, but she hears the phone ringing. she hears mulder having a conversation. and he says “no, she doesn’t” which is weird… that is suspicious… what doesn't she...

scully chews her ice which is so funny because me too sometimes. she has chewed all of her ice and must fetch more. and get a cola ofc!!! nothing more american than a cold soda iktr!

but she sees mulder in his car??? lighting up with cig man???? HUH??? and handing over a tape? omfg this is crazy. i assume she is hallucinating though, because no way….

cutscene to a lady named helene watching “the price is nice” (lmaooo) and washing some dishes. but the soap in the dishes starts to look funny- and everything is glitching around her!!! she sees a man outside in a hammock… kissing a woman!!! and oh, she is furious!! she gets her SHOTGUN?? this has escalated very fast. and we hear some shooting!!!

scully is still very visibly disturbed. mulder is reporting the murder, but she seems like a shell of herself. she checks the ash tray in the car, and there is no ash… she notices the car has been moved and he says he got a paper…. why do you ask…. “nothing. it’s nothing” OHHH THIS IS JUICY

so the crime scene has a very bloody hammock. and a dead man, who the wife claims he saw in the hammock with a blonde. but the only other creature at the scene was a dog!!!

OH!!! the hammock man wasn’t even helene's HUSBAND??? this really is LAYERED!! she killed the NEIGHBOR thinking it was her husband, who wasn’t even in town!!!!!! how do you mess this up so badly?

despite the fact that scully is clearly suspicious of mulder, she is sharing the umbrella with him in their usual fashion, and the sense of tension this produces is delicious 

they go to investigate the crime scene and mulder finds some sort of bike and immediately climbs upon it while proclaiming that television does NOT cause violence (LMAOOO HE IS SO WEIRD i need him.) 

they find a bunch more tapes and AGAIN the same guy is messing with the cables outside while they're investigating!!!! mulder is in chase mode!!!! but he cannot chase this dude in the van!!! no man, even a track star such as him, can outrun a van carrying secrets!

scully is trying to fast forward the TV and she looks out to see mulder climbing the pole…. average day for a man like him. he finds a weird cable scrambler in there. she wants to send it to the crime lab, but he says he’ll do the analysis, and she should go interview helene the murderer. OH... she is so suspicious, she just wants to go home…. scully :((( mulder is deeply confused as to why she is being so weird 

so he takes the thingy to the lone gunmen, who say it looks like it’s used for blocking premium cable channels, which i didn’t even know was a thing, you learn so much with this show. but it doesn’t block anything!!! HOWEVER, if you compare a tv with the machine and one without it, the one with the machine is slightly different. hmm...

“you know how television works?” “yeah, you click it on, you have a picture” <- the man who said that line went to oxford btw

it seems that this cable blocker thingy is adding some sort of frequency, but they can’t tell what… hmm.

mulder on the road. scully calls and only asks “where are you” in this very flat and creepy tone and OH i’m scared!!!!

he tries to explain that there is some sort of signal being introduced to the tv- he even says she might be right about the tv inducing violence theory! but she isn’t answering… she hears a clicking, like they're being listened to, and she says he never went to the detective…. let’s wait and talk on a landline, he says.

despite being in his car many miles away, he can tell that there is something very wrong with scully. he says don’t go anywhere, he’ll be right there, and redials after she hangs up. it's very much echoing when she said something similar to him in his crazed gargoyle quest.

but she is so scared, she rips the phone out of the wall and takes it apart!!!! and then the lamp too, and the table. she is checking everything for any sort of bugs!

holy hell, we have never seen her like this before... but i’m actually gagged because she is usually relatively stoic and seeing her paranoid is so different, but it also feels very natural??? she is acting her ass off here as she rips up everything in this motel room. big shoutout to GA, i love your work.

and the static that set in helene's vision earlier is setting in hers now!!! she hears a car pull up and drops to the floor…. she hears a man say “she’s in here” and a pounding on the door. 

OMFG someone tries to open the door and she FIRES 4 SHOTS RIGHT AWAY??? but it’s mulder!!!!

(author's note: i was thinking after i finished the episode, and we know that she is a good shot- remember how she hit just the right angle to knock mulder out but not kill him at the end of s2? so she is either SO out of it that she cannot even aim straight, or there is a tiny tiny tiny part of her that still thinks that mulder isn't worth killing. please mull over which option brings you greater angst)

he’s coming in with his gun and his hair is blowing in the wind and he can’t FIND HER!!!!! it was really very dramatic. hair blowing in the wind has this effect.

cutscene to scully’s mom’s house, and we see a picture of young scully on the table... AWW stop she’s so cuuuute and one of missy as well 😭😭😭

OH! it’s mulder on the phone calling mrs. scully in the middle of the night!!! NOOOO he has to tell her that he doesn’t know where she is :( NOOOO poor mrs. scully has gone through too much. he feels SO bad breaking this news, that he even apologizes for hanging up right away, something he never ever does. he must be in deeeep distress to do such a thing.

and why does he hang up?? because SKINNER IS HERE!!! he’s leading a manhunt for scully, and mulder is saying she shouldn’t be hunted like a convict… but skinner says dude SHE FIRED FOUR ROUNDS AT YOU AND SOME RANDOM GUY last night!!!!

despite this, mulder insists that he can get her to listen to him if they just keep her safe; she’s suffering from some sort of paranoid psychosis. skinner is being quite patient as he tries to explain that the video tapes made her do it. skinner says well... you better find her before these guys do.

GASP!!! he’s putting up the x on his window! and doing that thing where he bounces his basketball because he cannot relax!!! stop i'm emotional!!!!!

the lone gunmen call to say they found something on the tape…. and it induces electrical activity…. MIND CONTROL???

but why wasn’t he effected?

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! HE’S RED-GREEN COLORBLIND???? THIS IS AN INSANE LORE DROP TO GIVE NEARLY 4 SEASONS IN??????

wait, is this just for plot purposes, or is DD actually colorblind and they decided to roll with it? because now i’m gonna be looking at all the red-ish things we see on screen (like his tie he is grabbing to emphasize his point) and wonder, can he see that? how does this impact his tie selection process....

okay that really threw me off guard. man, i was getting to think we'd never get another lore reveal, which is a shame because i quite like formatting those facts in that way. good to know we could get more at anytime!

he gets a phone call from maryland state police. the lone gunmen ask if she’s okay and he says no, he has to go and ID the body. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! he is trying to keep composed. holy fuck………..

(heavy breathing as i grab your shoulder and squeeze) hey man. hey. he was trying so hard to be strong.

so he pulls up to the morgue and stops before he gets out of the car, and holds his head above the wheel STOP I’LL CRY???? i’ll cry… what are they putting him through??? losing her again……..

(i mean i have SEEN gifs of scully in seasons past this one, so i know she's gonna pull through, but HE doesn't know that, and must be reliving the worst days of his life AGAIN, and aughhhhh!)

but the mystery guy from the start of the episode that give him the info on the muders pulls up and says get in right now!!!!!! mulder is furious, he says he’s busy. in a shocking display of insensitivity, mystery man says he does not give a fuck. mulder is yelling that this is all his fault. mystery man says “they” are destroying the evidence, and they’ll finish it by tomorrow if he keeps searching for her, but he kicks the door shut and ignores him.

(omg…. he loves her enough to break him out of his bloodhound mode… the dogged ahab-like quest for answers and revenge… i’m getting flashbacks to his conversation with missy in one breath…….. realizing he needs to put the ones he loves before his need for revenge sometimes..... wow)

so he walks into the morgue, and the dude in there says they found a body nude and shot in the forehead.

he closes his eyes to try and brace himself before taking a peek, to prepare to see her lifeless, probably reliving those many hours by her bedside when she was in the hospital, trying to imagine her shot in the forehead, the scully he knows and loves with her dry humor and her teasing smile and caffeine dependency, the her that is so full of life, lifeless…

but it isn’t her. PHEW!

despite this being good news that he has to share- she's not dead! her mother isn’t answering her phone…. so he goes to her house. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, did she do something rash in her grief?

but mrs. scully answers the door and claims dana isn’t here. he bursts in and says he needs to see her right now. omg, he saw right through her lies.

(also, it always feels weird to refer to her as dana, but moving on)

NO!!!! she has him at gunpoint and says he’s here to kill him!!! poor guy looks so flabbergasted… and her mom is trying to get her to please put down the gun, and he’s trying to explain what is going on!!! he is so singularly locked into her…. 

“he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the only one i trust” AUGHHHHH (rips my clothes off of my body in biblical levels of grief) 

“you’re one of the people who abducted me” AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off not only my clothing but also my hair as i experience emotions that rival what job from the bible went through)

she’s CRYING, and saying he killed her sister while her mom gets between him and the gun… and she’s saying she knows she’s safe here, that’s why she came here, and to put the gun down. and she falls into her mother’s arms sobbing. 

WHAAAAAAAAT. and he had to watch all that… oh my scully oh my goodness my poor scully…

timeskip a little bit. he shows up to the hospital where scully is with her mother, and mockingly puts his hands up in surrender, because he is so STUPID and he always has to make a joke, and i love him so terribly, so so so terribly, because he loves HER.

she's laying in the bed, and he shuts off the tv and asks how she’s feeling. she says she is ASHAMED- as if being a victim of mind control was a personal failing. scully, i want to yell, you have NO REASON to be ashamed, let me take all the shame from you and carry it elsewhere. she says it was like the world was turned upside down.

and he makes ANOTHER stupid joke about the world being out to get him, and now she knows how he feels-

before leaning in and explaining how joseph, the first murderer on this case, became convinced he was killing the bosnian war criminal who people called “the modern hitler”, which was especially important to him because both of his parents survived the holocaust. hence his line about the killing days being over!!!

and helene was scared her husband would cheat on her. so somehow the TV signal turned their worst fears into a living nightmare. 

OHHHH HER WORST NIGHTMARE IS HIM BETRAYING HER. HIM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HER GOING MISSING AND LOSING HER AUTONOMY AND MEMORIES... wails into my shirt. 

(this reminds me of that episode in s2- irresistible- when we learn her biggest fear is that humans are capable of terrible horrific things and grasping to trust despite that knowledge. we’re seeing that again right here. how uncertainty seeps in)

THEY CALL HIM THE CANCER MAN!!! wow very official canon recognition of the name (yeah it’s happened before but it happened again so that is cool) anyway she says she saw him giving cancer man the tapes and reporting.

he says that maybe cancer man was behind this, but then he whispers “why don’t you try and get some rest?” and there is something in me that melts so entirely as he leaves her to sleep.

(perhaps it is the fact that hurt/comfort and whump are my favorite tropes. because is there anything more intimate than letting someone see you at your most vulnerable, and them choosing to love you at it? is there any feeling more cutting than seeing your loved one suffer and knowing you’d stop the world for an instant of their relief? the terrible desperation of both parties, the wordless connection upon recovery, someone being the last thing you see before everything fades to black and then the first person you see when you return... yeah. it’s cathartic. but also it makes me want to yell and cry. pls give me all the hurt/comfort content)

so the doctor found high serotonin levels in her that maybe can be associated with mania, but now they’re back to normal. he asks if someone in her situation would be diagnosed with amphetamine abuse, and she says no. then he quickly calls the hospital where joseph is staying… what is he cooking in there…

he wants to talk to joseph's doctor, dr. stroman, who left behind only a number from the motel…. and he had JUST checked out…. so he’s going through his stuff. and asking about his calls. and he DOES find a cigarette in his room but a lot of people smoke so… try not to jump to conclusions juni… but the cigarettes mean one thing in this show!!! was this innocent-looking doctor behind such a cruel experiment?!

he calls and has the last number the doctor called get checked from the folks at the lab… so he goes to visit the place of residence and creepy music is playing. the dude from the cable company we saw before rolls up!!! he walks right inside the house, so mulder peeks inside. it seems the people in the house set up a trap of some sort, as they are talking about “him” showing up at 7.

he bursts in after hearing gunshots and both of the men in there are dead!!! shot in the head!!!!

who is there... but X???? X says he HAD to kill those men- he just hoped mulder would get them first. and oh, mulder is YELLING AT X!!! he is letting him HAVE IT!!! he says he is a coward, he was too scared to unveil the situation with the mind control TV murders himself….. he says X NEVER risks his own life, but he sure does make him risk mulder and scully’s.

OH! he is holding X at gunpoint. all X is saying is that he failed, and that mulder needs him. so he walks out, confident he won't pull the trigger. and he doesn't. 

WHAT! i need to kind of just let that sit for a second. i need to figure out this X fellow, but i get the sense i never will…. he failed… because he chose to try and save scully…….

cutscene to skinner’s office, where mulder is giving him a report. and scully walks in and says that dr. stroman DIED IN 1978!!! when skinner asks about the killer, mulder jumps in and says he remains unknown… oh, skinner is def gonna pick up on that….

so now we see X in a random back alley. getting into a car…. WITH CANCER MAN?????? X REPORTS TO CANCER MAN??? he asks if he has completed his work, and X reports that he has cleaned out all the personnel, everything is removed, but mulder still has a device. and mulder’s source has been eliminated. but the source’s source remains unknown. oh, he’s def lying through his teeth.

OOOOOOH this episode was SO good.

oh man, my brain is racing in a bunch of different directions. scully breaking down and sobbing into her mother’s arms…. scully convinced that mulder is a traitor, that he did those terrible things to her…. mulder so scared that she was gone, bouncing his basketball, getting a call from the police department that he had to go identify her… choosing her, even in what he thought was death, over following the Truth… the sick and twisted relationship he has with X, and X with Cancer Man, and Cancer Man with the world… it’s making me think of how mulder broke into his house that one time, was going to kill him over what he did to scully, and cancer man had the nerve to say he liked mulder… OOOH my brain is just racing racing racing. 

poor scully… how scared she was, how horrified afterward… 

other things that are on my mind, in no particular order: the bond between scully and her mother; mulder being all babygirl on that couch; mulder hopping on that bicycle and picking up some random doll from the murder victim's house; how haunting scully's voice was when she asked him over the phone where he was; their cola drinking; mrs. scully trusting mulder no matter what; how he tried to cover the grief in his voice when he told the lone gunmen he had to go identify her body; how he kicked the door shut of the mystery man, damning the investigation to pay his respects; how his head hovered above the wheel of the car before he got out to do that; how X uses and uses him to no clear end, and what is HE doing reporting to cig man, and what was that random doctor doing conducted fucked up experiments on random people; and scully's miraculously bad aim; mulder's conviction he could talk sense into her (spoiler: he could not); her shame at being convinced he had been the one who abducted her; how terrifying that must have been; and his stupid jokes when he walked into her hospital room, with the sincerity he tries so hard to outrun and outfox breaking through in his whispered why don't you get some rest?

so needless to say, i see why this one is a fan-favorite. this is certainly one i will be revisiting in the future when i need something strong. i have a million things to think over that will stick with me Forever, and i am in no rush to move on from this. in fact, i took these notes yesterday, but in the process of editing them tonight, i have decided i am not ready for the season finale and will have to save it for tomorrow because i'm still feeling So Many Things. so stay tuned to see how that goes, because whew!

[worth-this-and-more]

What are you most looking forward to in Oathbound?

You seem to be asking everyone so wanted your opinion lmao

-@BrianaKane 💕

haha i've got so much i wanna see in oathbound so this probably will be long af

-bree finally manifesting her best version. like ik our king was running here and there for her life but finally she's gonna have some time to train herself and finally control her powers without arthur dicking in or her ancestors warning her at every waking and sleeping moments. and also, the dragonnnn do I need to say anything more??

-ruthless nick. i neeeed to see that side of him, because a reason I did not like him very much in legendborn as a whole was because he was actively suppressing his emotions trynna be the calm kid but he really really needs to rage now. we saw sel's soft side now I wanna see nick's ruthless side.

-we might not get much sel content but please for the love of everything that is holy I need need neeeeed natasia in oathbound or I'm gonna die seriously I need to know her I need her to adopt me and bree and sel and alice and william and everyone because she's totally mommy vibes I mean she's our only hope in this adult world

-alice as the fierce regent or maybe the unofficial regent or unofficial william's squire both work perfectly and will be so cool, and also teamed up with William with her terrific ideas and willpower, she's gonna go crazyyyyy and also I think she and sar might have something start in oathbound?? like idk I just have this feeling but yeah

-did i mention i wanna see the dragon again?? because I wanna see the dragon again and oooh maybe the dragonn is gonna kill the shadow king but let's see haha that might be in the fourth book

-and yeah i need sarah griffiths to takeover the southern chapter demolishing victoria because as William is probably not gonna be here I feel like she's gonna be in charge because obviously everyone kicked out tor. sar and the morgaines would make a terrific group and I'm living for it.

-i wanna see zoelle and eljiah slowly but surely siding with bree because they just seem power hungry demons and bree could give them so much more, like what if they meet valec and then find out that oh you could get these things and deals with humans all at the same place how cool is that?? and if they are shadow king's kids, which doesn't seem much unlikely this old man has a lot of kids scattered around, this forced family of valec, sel, zoelle, eljiah and maybe some more would finally throw up their parental trauma on the shadow king and maybe, just maybe break his ego or bruise his anger whichever works.

-a small part of me believes that a bree vs shadow king battle is probably in the fourth book butttttt a nick vs shadow king, or sel vs shadow king is possible depending on who reaches there first. i do feel like nick would somehow find out that erebus is not erebus by maybe his newly found abilities and knowledge, so maybe nick vs shadow king is inevitable.

-and ohhhh alice vs tor where tor dies please please please please I wanna see that I wanna see alice absolutely destroy that piece of shit yk just pure fury unleashed upon tor. it's gonna be so epic and if it happens in the ogof-y-drraig oooooh even better because that's where tor defied our king officially and that's where she should crumble to dust

-willark content please i need those two idiots falling in love I feel like it's gonna be "he fell first, he fell harder" and lark has already fallen so I want to see William falling in love all over again because pleaseeee I need it tracyyy

-regent cestra either having a redemption arc, there is a slight possibility of that like a cobwed's strand amount of chances but it's there for me personally, or else she should die. bree vs cestra would obviously be amazing but it could also be by the hands of one of the shadowborn or maybe shadow king would kill her too either for the drama or because she figures out that he has bree or something

-dragonnn dragonnn dragonnn dragonnn

now imma just stfu okay bbyeeee (edit: i added the willark point because how on earth did I ever forget it????)

[multifandumbmeg]

Can I say something potentially controversial? I haven't been in this fandom long enough to feel out the prevailing opinions so here's a take:

Idk why people hate on [redacted, not trying to start shit] when John B is right there.

I'm so (not) sorry but like- as someone that was and is so fucking lucky to have grown up with an absolutely ride or die tightknit friend group like the OBX kids, FUCK JOHN B.

Why? Because he's the only one that never checks in on JJ. He makes faces when JJ eats ROTTEN FOOD in his house like "wow ur so gross lol" like he doesn't know that boy LITERALLY DOES NOT HAVE FOOD AT HOME. He straight up ignores JJ in one episode when he actually tells him, "can we eat first? I haven't eaten in two days" like?!?? He disappears and leaves all his friends hanging when he finds [spoiler, iykyk]. He causes discord by bringing Sarah in where she was EXPRESSLY UNINVITED instead of talking it through with Kie first. He ignores Sarah's warning about the Nassau house and nearly gets them both killed. Meanwhile:

Pope expresses concern over JJ's situation multiple times, by hugging him, apologizing, and checking in. He's a kid and he doesn't know what to do, but he clearly does what he can and worries about JJ. He goes along with the group's schemes even when it jeapordizes his whole future and the life his parents are trying so hard to set up for him. He talks through emotions with Kie when theyre friends and does his best not to hold all the mixed signals against her after dating. And while I don't think he's right for it, he also criticizes Kiara for not being there wholeass when John B's dad disappeared, which shows he was. He's always getting into conflicts with and hurting his parents for John B's schemes.

Kiara not only comforts JJ, she's also the ONLY one to confront his dad (despite the danger). She offers to go in with him when he has to talk to his dad. She makes the connection between his reckless behavior and his fucked up childhood. She also checks in on John B numerous times in the first season because she knows he's avoiding and suppressing the trauma of his dad being most likely dead. She also calls ALL the boys out consistently, but usually with a lot of tact and kindness for acting out on the feelings they're avoiding.

Obviously JJ self-sacrifices for his friends all the time. Taking the fall for Pope, risking his future committing crimes to help his friends, and often risking his life for them, or making deals others wouldn't to get them out of a pinch quick. He also tries to call John B out for risking his and everyone else's lives on the incredibly slim chance his father is still alive and trying to leave a trail of bread crumbs early on. In fact, he seems to be the most realistic and honest about Big John when he's talking to John B, and the others criticize him for his lack of tact, but he's the only one who seems to realize feeding into delusions isn't a kind thing to do in the long run. He goes in INSTANTLY when he finds out Pope got jumped, he goes feral when Kiara gets kidnapped (long before he realizes there's any chance of dating her), runs headlong back into a fight with 4 or 5 guys when Raefe insults her, loses his job publicly defending John B from murder accusations etc etc etc...and let's not forget after getting beat half to death by his dad, emotionally trainwrecked because no matter what he does he seems to lose, he blows the money on what? A car? A boat? His shitty house with no food? NO. He orders a bunch of shit he can enjoy with his friends and spends the whole evening setting up fucking christmas lights in the trees despite the amount of evident pain he's in just so they can all be happy and have something TOGETHER. And I'm just gonna stop there because the list literally drags on like crazy, he does everything for his friends, especially John B.

And what has John B done for his friends?

Hmmmmm well there's that one time he stops JJ from starting a shootout with the entire sheriff's department and going down swinging by turning himself in.

Now on the other hand, he repeatedly manipulates his friends into doing things they don't want to or shouldn't do, often at the risk of their lives. He basically spends all of season 2 on a revenge quest, culminating in him not even considering that he should comfort his girlfriend when her father dies in front of them. Repeats what other people say about JJ being "just like his dad" despite knowing both his circumstances and that it's a trigger for him. There's that one time he goes home for the gun to kill Ward and basically ATTACKS all his friends to get through without talking about it?? And never apologizes?? Isn't ever concerned about Pope's scholarship, or in any way sensitive to the fact that he's BLACK and so much of what they get into involves his own generational trauma?! Is told several times Kiara's on the verge of being sent away to a Troubled Teen camp and straight up never once acknowledges or comments about that at all? Shows up to confront Topper and Sarah at Kiara's parents' party, knowing full well she's on thin ice and her parents DO NOT like any of them right now, including having just had a blowout with JJ, who insists on staying out of it.

Honestly, he got real tired of [same spoiler] by the end of season 3, so I'm hoping now they're dead in season 4 he's finally gonna wake up and start looking after his friends more because up to this point? Dude lacks empathy to a criminal degree and has a mad case of toxic main character syndrome.

Just like...as someone who was considered "the glue" to my own group of extremely troubled youths, all of us traumatized to fuck, this dude is failing with flying colors. Please look outside yourself and your romantic relationship some fraction of the time.

[ghostofwriting]

idk if im properly explaining this but like…as much as im rooting for y/n and rafe, if i was sofia and the man i am engaged to (and this engagement is public knowledge) is posting on his private about another girl claiming her as ‘the love of his life’ and being all angsty about not being with her AND all his friends are aware hes doing this and not telling me…oh i would be out the door in seconds🙏 SOFIA GIRL STAND UP AND LEAVE HIM🤷‍♀️

Yes!! Okay sooo Sofia will eventually find out of course but let me explain.

I think with Rafe he personally doesn’t see it as bad because he’s not actively going after yn. He talks so much about being better, growing from the past, and learning to not self sabotage but I think that Y/n is a sore subject for him because he knows he fumbled okay. Like that man is fully aware of what he could’ve had but because of who he was 1-3 years ago he fucked it all up. (I say 1-3 because the man’s engaged but I’m undecided lol) so he sees this as a way to get his feelings out but not hurt anyone. He loves sofia, he really does and he doesn’t want to do to her what he did to y/n but he can’t help but think of what could’ve been or what could be if he were brave enough. Basically he thinks it’s too late.

With Barry and Topper it’s not much different than why they chose Rafe the first time. They are absolutely rude or die for him. They love yn so much and had it been anyone else doing to her what Rafe was they would’ve told her and killed the guy. But it was rafe and selfishly they didn’t want to hurt the band. So they kept their mouths shut in hopes that Rafe would get his shit together and yn would never find out. With Sofia, they see it the same way rafe does. It’s just a way that he gets his feelings out and since he doesn’t act on it, what could the harm be? (Men)

As for JJ (because he’s seen interacting with Rafe’s priv) he doesn’t give a singular shit. That man has met sofia maybe one time and doesn’t care what rafe does or doesn’t do with her. He loves yn and he tolerates rafe but he’s not willing to get in the way of anything.

As for the rest of the pogues, much like JJ, they don’t care. They also don’t see a lot of it. They’re kind of just minding their own business, some of them barely go on their socials. They’re busy people so they don’t have time to see that Rafe very much is still invested in yn.

Kelce is in med school, that man has no time for Rafe’s shenanigans.

Ms Sarah. Well last time this happened Sarah got burned. How do you think y/n found out? Sarah doesn’t want to start anything with her brother. She’s worked hard to mend and nurture their relationship and as long as rafe isn’t acting on anything she won’t say anything. She calls him out here and there but she’s not going to tell Sofia for fear of damaging their relationship.

Y/n, well obviously yn doesn’t see any of this but if she did you know that Sofia would be getting anonymous screenshots. She doesn’t want anyone to go through what she went through so that’s not something she would keep to herself. Which is why no one tells her, and because whenever rafe is brought up she shuts down. The two that would tell her about this, Pope and Cleo, they don’t follow his priv so they’re clueless as well.

Buuuut as for ms Sofia, it’s karmic isn’t it? She knew about yn and Rafe’s complicated little thing when Rafe pursued her and she didn’t put a stop to it. And she lied to y/n’s face about it sooo. She’ll stand up, just not any time soon.

[pedrostylez]

500 Followers Reading Recommendation List

Hi there! Happy Saturday!

I just wanted to say thank you to the 500 people that are following me. I started this account back in March/April to have fun, start writing again (I was in the thick of it with One Direction fanfiction from 2012-2017 and took a massive break from that... Iykyk) and to make friends. I’ve connected with so many of you, and I love seeing us all thirsting on the feed, and just being a community? Idk if that’s cheesy, but there are plenty of things that could be improved with how this fanbase operates but this is my favorite part.

I felt like the best way to celebrate and to have fun is to bring attention to other people’s writing that I enjoy. Frothing at the mouth, or maybe just kicking my feet, whatever. I’ve been stockpiling these since the beginning (mainly so I can keep track because I will forget what I’m reading through and I don’t want to miss anything) and want to just highlight as many people as I can. 

I hope you all can give these guys some love too. If any of these are not your cup of tea and you want to make comments or say something to one of these authors I highly encourage you to read this announcement I made a while ago. I stand by this and encourage others to do the same.

I tried to not repeat an author with a character, but I will say that each of these lovely people writes for multiple characters (not always in the Pedro character universe either) and I have and continue to read from their whole masterlist. 

This is in no way the whole ongoing list that I keep for myself to find something that I enjoy, and I am positive I have missed some amazing people. I encourage everyone to reblog and interact with authors as you find things you like, “popular” or not, so as to keep us all as what I described above-a community.

Most of these recommendations are smut, which is indicated with *. If there is no *, it either has none or it does not at the time of posting this. Proceed with caution. 🙂

(If I get anyone’s name or pronouns wrong, please let me know so I can fix it. I tried to do my due diligence, however, I am prone to mistype so a quick message will get it changed!)

Joel Miller

@softlyspector-Honeyed

Becca’s story Honeyed is everything my fluffy heart desires. It is so soft, and I can feel my heart ache when I read it (I mean this in a good way and idk how else to describe it.) Ellie and Sarah’s dynamic is also so interesting, and I love how she writes the different connections between them all. Becca’s descriptions and ability to immerse you into the story is top notch. 

@jrrmint- Dad’s Best Friend (Series)*

JJ’s series absolutely destroyed me, in the best way possible. The way he expresses his feelings is so very Joel, but also so very “every man I’ve ever interacted with”, and the way he is so protective of reader…oh my lord. Just brilliant. JJ is here to kill it, every fucking time. 

@darkroastjoel- A Safe Haven (series)*

Vee is extremely talented, even when she thinks otherwise. (Vee I love you so much omg). So much effort and care is put into what she writes, and I am always sitting at the edge of my seat. A Safe Haven is angsty, makes my heart flutter, and Joel is portrayed so well. Hiding a relationship while having issues in Peach’s home to help the community? Real-life anxiety. Vee’s Ellie is also one of my favorites and gives comedic relief when necessary (but also a wakeup call to Peach a lot of the time). Love love love.

@hier--soir-Back to Texas

Jessie you probably thought I was going to put your professor joel series here, and while that is so fucking good (screeching into a pillow so my husband doesn’t hear, good), this specific piece you wrote? Emotional damage. Tears, in my eyes, sniffling and trying to keep it together. It really just calls upon my daddy issues to read Joel so distraught and loving and anxious about visiting his home where he last saw Sarah. Ugh. Love you. 

@joelscruff- One Thing I’m Missing (series)*

Cat’s ability to suck you into the world she has created is insane. I highly recommend all of the things she writes, but some sweetness mixed with horniness always makes me want to just pass away. Accidentally falling asleep together? And now you BOTH can’t stop? Bye. So deliciously heart-wrenching. 

@atinylittlepain-Hungry Hearts (Series) *

Dear god this series has me crying, covering my face in embarrassment, drooling, and so much more. Summer love wrapped up with childhood crushes and bouncing back and forth between past and present? Thinking you know what’s best for the person you love and hurting them in the process? The flow of how Ginny writes keeps me on the hook no matter what she’s writing, and this is no different. I am absolutely able to lose myself in her writing and just be fully immersed, and I so so SO appreciate it.

@dev1lm4n-Porn Star Joel (series)*

Ann I swear to you, you’re the reason I am now obsessed with this “porn star” trope, specifically for Joel Miller. Joel having a secretive side job to make sure he keeps his family above water, but suddenly not able to think about anything other than reader, an exchange student living in his house? So fucking good. Sink your teeth in and just indulge. 

Frankie Morales

@pedropascalsx- Relief*

This had my gut in knots reading it. I have such a soft spot for Frankie as a character, and I remember the first time I read through this one-shot I gasped out loud at how mean you had written him. (This is a good thing, trust me). The smut is top shelf, mesmerizing.  Cristina has some of the best writing around with detail that is chef’s kiss. 

@peterhollandkait-Everthing I Know Leads Me Back to You

This is another series that I had first read when I was thinking about restarting my page, and Kait does not disappoint. The angst and heartbreak for sweet baby Frankie who is having issues is out of this world.

@javiscigarette-Just Focus on My Love*

Cami has this way about how she writes that I just consume so quickly and I don’t think I can ever stop. This one-shot called to me and calls me out at the same time for how often I will just play video games for hours. And the idea of Frankie? Coming to try and distract me? Yes please.

Javier Peña

@pascalsbby-Little Bunny*

Man, I just love Javier Peña. Whether he’s snarky and is a slut or is secretly really sweet. This one doesn’t disappoint either, with Kat having the ability to just get Javier to bring you home and on your knees…

@lokischocolatefountain -Salvation*

Married Javi and his struggles is the most insane way to get me hooked on him, but lokischocolatefountain did that. They have a whole “married javi” section of their masterlist that I find myself coming back to often!

@devilmademewriteit-Salvatore (series)*

When I was first reapproaching tumblr as a platform to write on, I came across Em’s writing. I was in the middle of watching Narcos, and it called out to me like a siren song, and I wasn’t able to stop reading it. I love a sassy Javi who is really just basically in love with you and trying to hide it, mixed in with some amazing smut. Absolutely brilliant Em!

@swiftispunk- Let Me and Use Me*

Hannah’s ability to call upon my niche needs at the moment freaks me out sometimes, because giiiirrrlllll. When I first read Let Me and the follow up Use Me, I melted into a puddle and had to be mopped up like snow being kicked off boots next to a wood stove. I will never ever EVER be over Javi P, and this two parter is reread OF-TEN. The idea that a man can read me so well, and just knows what I need? Yes please. 

Din Dijarin

@frannyzooey-Take Me To Church (Series) *

Kelli has an extensive masterlist that I have gone through a couple times (or more, ahem). Her Take Me to Church series is what made me interested in Din as a character, since I had never really watched the Star Wars saga. I have a soft spot for western AU’s that can’t be helped, so that just pushed me along as well. Kelli’s writing is always so fucking satisfying-good soup.  

@whatsnewalycat- Passenger (series) 

Aly has quite a few series that I am reading constantly. Again, never really had been interested in the Star Wars series (sue me, people) but her portrayal of Din as a truck driver and bounty hunter is so heavenly. I am typically under the covers with all the lights off reading her stuff because I get so excited and so honed in that I haven’t realized I’ve basically burrowed into my bed. 

@no-droids- Rough Day (series) *

Originally found on AO3, and I sure do loveeeeeeeee it. The wait is worth it, and the smut is spot on. I love the character growth that is shown in this series, and while I haven’t ever spoken with no-droids, I know they are insanely talented. An amazing read. 

Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels

@fuckyeahdindjarin-Palomino (series) *

Cee doesn’t need a whole introduction but IMMA GIVE HER ONE. The amount of effort, and time and love she puts into her writing is shown when you’re reading on your phone, eyes barely open at 3 in the morning, telling yourself you’ll go to sleep after this next paragraph. And then of course, you don’t because something juicy is happening or you want to see how Jack is going to look lovingly at Darlin’ and you just stay up until you complete the chapter. Cee has some amazing amazing AMAZING series, and this is just one of them! 

@psychedelic-ink-Move Me, Baby *

Sil, if you don’t already know what you do to me, then here it is. You literally destroy me. This three-part series is as delectable as they come, being angsty and fluffy but also smut city babyyyyy. Sil is extremely talented and often has me questioning if I have a new kink or what exactly my deal is. 

Ezra (Prospect)

@the-ginger-hedge-witch- Adversity Western AU (Series)*

Ren. I stg. The ideas that you have send me into orbit. This is both Frankie and Ezra, but I am putting it under Ezra because the relationship between reader and Ezra is what I tend to focus on when I am reading this. Frankie’s relationship is also fascinating (and Ezra and Frankie together is extremely hot) but Ezra is written in this way that I just know is him exactly. She completely captured what Ezra’s cadence was (in my head at least) and I am infatuated with it.  

@ezrasversion-Heat*

Rue…my dear god. “Don’t stop on my account… unless of course you’d be more acquiescent to the idea of my assistance.” Like really?! I read this after I watched prospect for the first time and just about keeled over. How you captured how Ezra speaks was so spot on with the movie. So so good!

[sharkwithfeelings]

ik there’s a lot of sarah j maas discourse rn, in general a lot of ya/na fantasy authors are getting looked at with a more critical eye, but i haven’t seen much abt the illyrians of the night court, who are undoubtedly indigenous-coded, and for the most part seem to be a mix of a lot of different indigenous cultures.

like, they live in mountain villages, they’re an old race of faeries, they have warrior cultures, and they’re generally described as being dark-haired and darker skinned than a lot of the other faeries in the series. and, i will admit, i haven’t read the books since middle/beginning of high school, but it’s kind of hard to forget that illyrians were at once portrayed as uncivilized but also extremely practiced in the art of war to a degree that they were a resource to the main characters in their times of need.

all the og members of the Valeris Squad (or whatever they call themselves i can’t remember) describe illyrians as “backwards” and “savage.” the illyrians are also known to beat kids, make them compete in blood sport, and they clip the wings of female illyrians so that they can’t fly and are reduced to only being housewives. they have a rich culture of tattooing, which most indigenous societies have. it’s an insanely patriarchal society that rhys and cassian and azriel are single-handedly fixing. their rites of passage into warrior status are centuries old and their communities have existed in the mountains for like forever. they’re undoubtedly supposed to be native, 100%.

and while there is plenty to be said abt how some cultures operate with regards so how they treat children and women (cultural relativism gets messy), i don’t think this is how you go about doing that. not to mention, the book doesn’t position “reeducating the illyrians” as a discussion on how one incorporates equality into a culture, it’s just like another thing that the Bat Boys do to seem like they’re more moral. the maybe only saving grace is that they grew up in the culture, so it’s not like they’re outsiders coming in and being like “your traditions are evil and bad, change them,” but i don’t know why they had to be constructed that way in the first place.

it’s weird, idk, i just think fiction is such a great place for exploration and education about how to deal with the real world but with much lower stakes, and i hate to see popular fantasy neglecting the fact that it should take real-world issues seriously, and that you can do that while also being a popular series. indigenous people across the world are systematically stolen from, colonized, and erased from the annals of history because other people step in and say, “hey we don’t like the way you do things, this is much better,” and again, yeah, some of the practices of the illyrians are pretty harmful, but how is their only good contribution to the world that they know how to do war good??? they don’t have anything else of value, they just fight and kill??? like that’s not accurate indigenous writing, that’s just harmful stereotypes.

there’s plenty more to say abt a lot of authors in the fantasy space, especially right now when so many ppl are getting book deals just for blowing up on tiktok, which i’m slightly conflicted by because more books getting published is good but also like, what books are we allowing to go to press? anywayyyy, just some thoughts

[h-c-u]

Come fly with me, let's fly away...

Summary: You and Ice both like to fly, just in completely different ways. And he finally convinced you to take a jet ride with him.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x fem!reader

W/C: 3.3k

Rating: PG, explicitly stated age gap (19 years). They met for the first time when the reader was 19 (Do I condone that in real life? HELL NO. SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BABY).

TWs: None.

A/N: This fic is happening not long after Ice became O-10, he's not married to Sarah, doesn't have any kids, and definitely isn't sick.

Also, the reader is described as really petite, but there are no allusions to ED or food in general; I just wanted that position to work :)

Also Yes, the reader owns her small house with a quite big garden at around 21 without having a job. How and why? Idk, I'm not in her bank account, ask her.

Masterlist | List of tags

- And you're sure it's fine...? You won't get into any trouble...? - You were nervously playing with a strap of his old helmet, he just handed you. Ice just got promoted, and you were still getting used to his new rank. 

- It's not like they can fire me now, dove... - oh that cocky smile that you wanted to rub from his face. Preferably with your fist. Or your own mouth. It didn't really matter, as long as he stopped. - But seriously, we're good. It's a holiday, everyone else is out celebrating, and I've put it as a training exercise, so we're fully covered when it comes to all the paperwork, please don't worry so much, squirrel. - he placed a quick kiss on the top of your head. It wasn't exactly your favorite nickname, but he didn't use it too often, only when he playfully teased you about your not-so-safe hobby. 

Because both of you loved to fly. He was just doing that in a metal can mounted to another can of explosives, and you were... well... Using a thin material to glide. Yet you couldn't help but feel much safer in your wingsuit than inside a jet, that's why it took so long for him to convince you, and right about now, you were seriously rethinking your decision. 

- Relax, dove. - you just couldn't help it. This plane in front of you was basically a killing machine, and even though you loved the adrenaline, you were extremely opposed to conflict and violence, and you sometimes wondered how you ended up with someone in the military, especially that high up.

Well, when you two met he wasn't exactly O-10... He was just promoted to captain. At first, it was supposed to be a rebound-one-night stand with a man literally twice your age (at that time), and on top of that, he was just about to be deployed, so there was literally no chance for a relationship. Yet you still told him you'd like to see him again when he comes back. Which was incredibly stupid and naive, but you were only 19 and he said yes, thinking that you'll forget all about him as soon as you'll meet someone younger while he was gods-know-where, doing gods-know-what.

And you did meet someone. But it fizzled out before it even started. The same thing happened 7 months after you met Ice, and you honestly tried to analyze this whole situation rationally. There were definitely downsides to hooking up with...? dating...? An older man. You weren't even sure what you wanted, so how the hell could you decide if you really wanted it? 

But when you saw him again at the bar, you weren't conflicted. You were just straight-up angry. Because even if he didn't mean it, he did say yes. And it all went quickly downhill from there, well at least for you, because he insisted that you just had to take everything so slowly. He literally didn't allow you to kiss him for four months straight, still hoping that somehow he'll be able to change your mind about him. But you were stubborn, although it was extremely hard for you to be so close to him, without even being able to touch him the way you wanted. There was a lot of pouting, but even more talking and spending time together. Every day after work he helped you in your garden; he even fixed up a shed for you, so the door didn't require a small tank to open and close anymore. 

He taught you many things and told you even more stories. Of course, he couldn't tell you every detail, but it was still nice to hear his voice, and you enjoyed simply watching him doing whatever; didn't matter if it was making pancakes, or working on his plane, as long as he was in your line of sight, you were satisfied. Not in every way, but enough. It took him a full year to realize that you weren't going anywhere. He was already practically living at your house, you put him down as one of your emergency contacts on every possible form, and your cat honestly preferred sleeping on his lap than on yours. And when it hit him, it did with full strength. You weren't even doing anything special... You were just sitting curled up in the giant armchair in his workshop, lazily sketching something in your notebook, and you were getting frustrated because you couldn't get it quite right. He didn't even tell you to come with him, you just showed up around lunch with a spare portion for him, and after you ate, you just stayed there, not even saying anything, because you didn't want to interrupt whatever he was doing. And that's what did it for him... A thing that you did dozens of times over the last year, but this time something in him clicked. 

It's not like he didn't want you with every atom of his body, but Ice-cold always had full control over his basic instincts. But right then and there, he made a conscious decision to do everything in his power to make you the happiest person on earth, and that included finally giving you the relationship you deserved. He of course insisted on never being added on a deed to your house and was very adamant that you'd keep your finances separate, even though he started contributing long before that conversation. He would always push you to explore and learn things on your own and was always there to cheer on you from the first row. And if you'd one day decide that you'd be happier elsewhere, he would let you go. But he didn't have to, because you had eyes only for him...

Even now, almost 7 years after your wedding you were still getting giddy whenever he would hug you or even smiled at you, that's exactly why you found yourself in pilot gear, even though you've never held a flying stick in your hands before. His old helmet was way too big for you, and eventually, he got you another one and that one fit. Even though his stoic presence usually was enough to calm you down, this time it wasn't so easy. It's not like you were afraid of flying; you used choppers in the past to get to the desired altitudes, but this was different. This was a war machine, and you frowned because an unpleasant thought entered your mind... Was this F-22 ever used to kill anyone? 

- Y/N....? - his voice pulled you from your spiral of thoughts, and you rested your gaze on his eyes. - C'mere, dove... - he repeated the request, reaching for your arm to pull you onto the wing he was currently standing on. Sure, he could have let you use a ladder, but this was much more fun. He didn't have any trouble pulling you up with one hand, and you would be lying if you said that his strength didn't turn you on, especially considering all the positions he was to hold you in for long periods of time. 

- And you're sure it's safe...? - you've repeated the question you already asked at least 20 times today. 

- I always managed to come back in those, so I'd say they have a pretty good record... - he said jokingly and started settling in the cabin. He did all the pre-flight checks before you joined him in the pilot seat. You checked earlier, and even with you sitting in front of him, on the same chair, there was enough space for him to reach everything he needed. Before you climbed in, he also loosened the safety belts, so you could fit in them with him, just in case. He didn't plan on doing anything crazy today, but he'd still rather be prepared for anything. - C'mere, dove... - he was done with the checks and was ready to finally take you flying his way. You settled cozily in front of him. It was a tight, but not impossible fit, and if you were being completely honest, you enjoyed having him so close to you... He reached around you and made sure that the emergency oxygen line was connected to your mask, connected your coms to his, and buckled you both in, so everything was properly secured. 

- Tower, this is Iceman, how do you read? - he started following the procedures, and you patiently kept quiet, sitting between his legs. Your compact size definitely had its perks, because at first, you were afraid that he wouldn't be able to see anything if you sat in front of him in a helmet, but fortunately, that wasn't a problem.

- Iceman, Tower, loud and clear, how me? - an unfamiliar voice replied through the comms. 

- Loud and clear. Take-off pre-checks complete. 

- Ready engines start. Iceman, you are clear to taxi. Runway number 2. Winds 21, 0, 10. - you've felt the jet move before you actually saw it moving because Tom was driving it extremely slowly to the designated runway as if he wanted to put you in warm water, so you could get used to it before it starts boiling.

- Fuel check - good. Cabin pressure check - good. Tower this is Iceman, requesting an unrestricted climb to 500 and above. 

- Iceman, the runway and skies are yours. 

- Iceman ready for takeoff. 

- Iceman, Tower. You are clear for takeoff. - you didn't know that, but at this moment he cut his mice on the line to the Tower. 

- You ready, dove...? - he asked, and you nodded. - It's gonna be a bumpy ride for a moment, but as soon as we'll be in the air it will be much calmer... - he informed you and gave you one last hug before he actually started accelerating on the runway. You couldn't help but close your eyes. It was so loud... You felt like the engines were exploding and the nose of the jet was ripping through the fabric of air... It wasn't pleasant, to say the least, and you couldn't imagine doing anything else under those conditions. There were so many systems, and Ice knew them like the back of his hand, and wasn't even looking at the knobs he was flipping, completely relying on his muscle memory. 

But you finally started climbing and you felt yourself melting into the strong body behind you. You were honestly afraid that with added pressure on his chest, he'd have trouble breathing, but he seemed to be doing more than alright. 

- How are you feeling...? - he asked after finally leveling the jet at around 10k ft. 

- Haven't decided yet... - you laughed because the view was amazing, and something you never got to see while wingsuit flying... - It's so loud, I didn't know it was that loud... - you were a little bit overwhelmed by engine and wind sounds and your thoughts weren't fully coherent because of it. 

- To be honest, I've quickly stopped noticing it... But... - he started patting his suit, checking if he still had something in his pockets. And he did. - I have a pair of noise-canceling plugs... I usually use them when I'm near the tarmac because it's always much louder there. They're all yours... - it was hard to properly manouver them under your helmet, especially with gloves, but even though they weren't in all the way, they still were a massive help. - Better? - he asked when you'd stopped fumbling, and you nodded in response. Now his voice was also muffled, but you could still hear him. 

- Are you ready for some gymnastics...? - his voice was giddy, almost as if he was a kid who got exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning and couldn't wait to share that news with his friends. You knew he wouldn't knowingly put you in any danger, so you nodded again. - Hold on tight, dove. - you didn't even know what to hold, so you grabbed his thighs at the exact moment when he did a first screwdriver. It was easy, you knew how to do those, but after that... He was maneuvering the jet in ways you didn't think possible. Dropping and ascending, swirling around imaginary targets, flying upside down... And as soon as your adrenaline kicked in, you couldn't help but laugh at every sudden change of direction. It was like riding a super advanced, super expensive rollercoaster, and you loved rollercoasters. 

You weren't exactly sure how long you were in the air before he leveled the plane again. 

- How about now, dove...? - you knew that he could tell by your laugh that you enjoyed it, but you were more than happy to use your words. 

- It has its perks, I'm not gonna lie... - you laughed again. - I still prefer my wingsuit, because I feel like I have more control. But from now on, I won't say no to an occasional jet ride. - you smiled, even though he wasn't able to see it beaming on your face. 

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he asked, and you honestly weren't sure if you heard him right. 

- What?

- Do you want to take the stick...? - he repeated, apparently being serious. 

- But... - you've started, but he was already moving your hands from his thighs to the stick and covering them with his own. 

- I'm here, and no matter what you'll do, I'll be able to correct it at this height... So I'm gonna ask again. Do you want to take the stick...? - his voice was stoic, even if full of joy. He knew he was good and that even if you somehow managed to put the jet in a complete nosedive, he'd still be able to pull you up in time. And you knew he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your life, so you nodded. - Ok, focus only on the stick, everything else is my job, ok...? - and you nodded again. - It acts basically like a joystick in games. If you want to move left, you move it to the left... - and his hands, still holding yours in them, moved the stick to the left. - If you want to move to the right, you move to the right... - and now you were gently swaying right. - If you want to go up, you pull it toward you... And if you wanna go down, then away... - he demonstrated, and just like that, you were on your own. 

Of course, you were afraid to move at first, you knew perfectly well how much one of those planes cost, and you couldn't help it. 

- Don't be afraid, dove... I'm here... - he repeated, and you finally relaxed a bit, and when your grip on the stick loosened a bit, you were able to feel something more... You tried gently swaying it left and right, and it was easier to do it to the left. Not by much, but you still noticed it. Surprised by your own discovery, you tried to do the same by gently swaying up and down... And it was just a tiny bit easier to go up... 

- I know you're sure that you'll be able to save us if I fuck up, but I need you to say it one more time because I feel like I'm about to do something really stupid. - this time he laughed maniacally. 

- I'm confident I'll be able to save us, dove, even if you'll somehow invade another country in this jet. - he reassured you again. 

- In that case, it's all on you... - you've said on the exhale and tried to feel the winds again. In your wingsuit, it was much easier. Not only because you were directly cooperating with the wind, but also because you had much, much more experience in flying that way. But even though the winds at this height were stronger, they were more or less the same, you just had to learn how to communicate with them and use them through this tin can. - Wait... How do you slow down and speed up...? - you asked when you wanted to match the speed of the winds, but you realized... you didn't know how. Ice laughed and guided your left hand to the correct lever. 

- Forwards - faster, backward - slower. - he didn't have to say much, just happy to observe you trying to find a footing in his world. 

- Ok... Here goes nothing... - you had to hype yourself up a little bit before you actually did any sudden turns... It took you good 20 seconds to finally gather enough courage to slow down enough to match the wind the best as you could. But as you were flying slower, it was easier to feel the direction of the wind, and you were glad for that. You exhaled quickly three times and finally started following the wind current down. It was rough and full of twists and turns, and it took you some time to get used to the controls. You saw Ice flipping some switches when he realized what you were doing, assisting you as best as he could because he never actually encountered anyone who would fly a military jet like that. You took your own technique and applied it to the 600 million-dollar machine, which was definitely... something else. You didn't have any proper training in flying, your head wasn't soaked with all the correct ways to fly a plane, so you took all your personal knowledge and applied it here. 

- Whoah! - Ice was surprised by a sudden drop, because nothing that rough showed up on the wind shear detection, yet you had no issues with just... feeling it. - How did you notice that? - he asked, genuinely surprised. 

- There are patterns... - you mumbled under your nose, still completely focused on the way how the stick felt in your hand. You didn't even notice when you closed your eyes a bit, so you could feel it better, and only after you've finished an unnamed maneuver, you got out of the trans you were usually in while you were flying in the wingsuit. - I mean... Wind behaves a certain way because of changes in pressure. And if you spend enough time relying on it, you kinda start seeing the patterns before you even enter the stream. I know how it sounds, trust me... I don't even know how else to explain it, because it's not something that I was taught during courses... Every instructor just said that you need to learn how to feel and hear it. And up here...? Everything is just... So... Loud... So I heard the change in the sound and followed it. - you tried to explain it as best as you could, but just... couldn't find the right words. You were sure that there was a scientific explanation for all this, but it was much easier to learn how to feel and hear it. 

- Huh... - he sounded curious. - Maybe next time you'll be trying to kill yourself, squirrel, I might actually join you... - he sighed heavily, taking the stick from your hands because you were starting to get lower than he felt comfortable with; there were birds at this altitude, and he would prefer to avoid them. 

- Wait... Are you serious...? - now you were the one who got excited. Usually, he let you have your own things to do. Of course, he was right there with you during your certifications and the numerous qualifications, but he never expressed interest in actually joining you up there. 

- Dead serious, dove... It actually sounds interesting and I would love to learn more about wind currents firsthand. - if you weren't basically tied to a seat with him, you would have jumped from excitement, which would be a poor decision in such a tight space. 

- Iceman, An Admiral, and US Pacific Fleet Commander in a squirrel suit... Can't wait to see it. - he groaned and instantly started regretting even bringing it up. 

- Promise me, you won't tell anyone about this... - you couldn't help but laugh. 

- I promise, I won't... - you didn't say anything about taking pictures though. 

[raygirlramblings]

I forgot to send my proof ;OTL

But I thought I'd share it and your thoughts as well! Rayman even has a "Nothing is true, Everything is permitted" moment!

https://youtu.be/4SYL8pNwOxQ?si=mlxiV8oHDtjma6CY

Idk if you or anyone else has thought about it. But Rayman in the Lawserhawk series is a canonical assassin in the brotherhood, and I have proof to back up that theory >3<

^ this was a previous ask and followed by the attached proof :)

Ok so there is a lot to unpack here and keep in mind I know NEXT TO NOTHING about Assassin's Creed lore XD So I can't speak with any authority or knowledge on the rules of Assassin structure.

I do like what you've put together here! It's a good spot to see how the other members of the ghosts do not fit into the Assassin's rules for various reasons. Though I would argue that Jade actually stuck to her role because she still managed to subdue the tiger dude even if it wasn't the planned way. She didn't reveal herself to the public or the 3 bodyguards in Pagan's base. It's not her fault that she was being forced to play against her type and it backfired; unlike other members of the team (COUGH DOLPH LASERHAWK COUGH) she stuck to the plan and kept a low-ish profile ;D Bullfrog would have been proud.

Also I would argue Pagan was in no way an innocent considering he would have absolutely killed all the Ghosts given the chance. And if Pagan counts as an 'innocent' because he wasn't a direct target then Bullfrog will have to answer for all the tiger guards he killed randomly breaking into the hideout XD HE WAS TOTALLY DOWN TO MURDER PAGAN TOO XD

Now Rayman on the other hand I agree, it's nice to see that he took out that one guard in a peaceful way (certainly more peaceful than Bullfrog with the tiger mob members...but they were mobsters so whatev) before going ham on the council, though you could put that down to him trying to keep quiet until he reached his goal.

I think my only issue is that we didn't get so see much of the council members before Rayman kills them. We only get to know Sarah and see the others briefly in phonecalls with Rayman. I'm not trying to say they're innocents in any way but Ramon killing them feels strange to me. It understandable, but it doesn't feel RIGHT. Or righteous. Or victorious.

I dunno, from what I understand on Assassin's Creed the role of an assassin is a noble one and you can't just go ham on people because they pissed you off. Ramon literally shot one of the council members before making his demands and killed the rest after they agreed to them because he was pissed off. He's not in the mental state to be an effective assassin.

Thooooooough that doesn't mean he can't learn some things from a noble little frenchman :3c

ANYWAY there is a lot to unpack and discuss here, and I would love to know more about the assassins guild that raised and trained Bullfrog in this cyberpunk alternate reality and what their unique rules dictate :D

[azsazz]

Okay, this is the response to the anon that wanted to talk about cc and contained spoilers:

"I just finished Crescent City today after swearing I was done with SJM because ACOWAR and ACOFAS were so disappointing to me. SPOILERS

—————cc1 spoilers under cut——————————

And I totally wasn’t expecting to see them using phones and other modern technology. So i agree with the other anon, it kind of took me out of it a bit, but not by much. I will say IMO the book was way too long and the murder investigation and the initial “plot twist” were messily done. It just draggedddd and was very boring to me.

The last 20 chapters were good though. But i couldn’t stop thinking why the hell nobody left the Summit to help Bryce. Like Ruhn and Fury were sitting there like “he’s gonna kill her”. So GO??? Are you really just gonna watch your sister die via Twitch stream?? LMAO I know they sent the Aux but they’re not as powerful as everyone who stayed back and it irritated me so badly when Bryce was fighting for her life, and they were just watching it like it’s a movie. Only one i won’t fault is Hunt cause he was nerfed by his handcuffs.

Also Sarah loves a “one drop of power from everyone” moment omg 😭 I liked that we started the series with Bryce at 25 instead of as a barely adult teenager. I think that’s why I started CC1, cause I read TOG and ACOTAR in high school and college, and I don’t want to read about another 17yo heroine. Or a 19yo who is in love with a 350yo.

The ending of the book confused me though cause it felt like a stand alone w/o the epilogue. It ended very cleanly. Like, what now? I don’t have to read the next 2 books if I don’t want to.

Sorry for spewing all my thoughts at you!! No one else I know is reading it so :/"

First of all, you're always welcome to share your thoughts with me! I love getting to chat and hear everyones predictions and opinions!

yes, i agree that the books are WAY too long. i just don't understand...i felt like half of the book was unnecessary. so boring and bryce was not relatable no matter how hard sjm tried to make her.

the climax of the book is usually the best part haha. Idk what fury was doing that time because i don't remember but what i thought was was that ruhn was essentially trapped there at the summit? LMAO TWITCH STREAM IM SO DEAD. Also i figured they were conveniently too far away from her to be able to get there in time to help.

yeah, it's nice that she's older than the other mc's but i'm wondering why it's so necessary for every book to add the mc's age? like what if we just didn't say how old she was? what in the plot would change?

yeah, i mean i can't blame you there. i'll be doing a cliff notes type thing for cc3 for those who don't want to read it lol...

thank you for coming to chat!! 💙💙

[qomrades]

welcome to season 2 of twin peaks

"you alright down there?" he is visibly bleeding out

"warm milk" THANKS MAN

"thank you" DALE STOP SIGNING HIS GRATUITY BILL YOU ARE STILL BLEED9NG OUT

first 5 minutes of this season the longest of my life oh my fucking god. Is That A Ghost.?

thank you for the omens ominous french man. are you an alien of some sort or perhaps a mason

"you will require medical attention" yeah man i think he fuckin noticed

AUDREY I FORGOT YOUR DAD IS A PERVERT

what thr fuck jerry did u kill blackie or something

SCARIEST SCENE ALIVE STAY AWAY FROM HERRRRRRRRRRRR

"i would like to make love to a beautiful woman who i feel genuine affection for" implying you haven't before 🤔 curious

dale my goofster how i missed you and your autistic cadence

oooh please don't kill ronette poor ronette

why the fuck is his hair grey. leland palmer is an insane man i am a little bit obsessed with his mental decline

and Maddy's too hello?

WHY ARE THEY DANVING INSANE MEN??

really beginning this season with the kookiest shit they could imagine

intense and insane tension between dale and albert. i don't think they've known each other carnally but i do think a part of them has wanted to

james look different this season idk why

donna and her insane winona ryder slay. why is she seducing her boyfriend in prison. i feel like donna and james are going through thr craziest teen nancy drew light spice drama investigation novel ever and everyone else is doing whatever the fuck theyre doing in twin peaks.

what the fuck is up with the jazzy ass music. "Is it not okay for me to want you" WHAT ARE THEY ON. WHY DID SHE BITE HIM

ive become so lost these last few days without the show i need to be put back in thr boiling pot

why are dale's lower eyelashes so long and luscious

why are there so many pointed shots at the terrible hospital food

why are bobby and shelly genuinely cute. all i got is questions

loving the nadine/ed/norma/hank backstory. just the kind of drama im looking for

daddy issues conversation slightly messed around by bobby's crazy eyes. no hate to the guy but his overt facial expressions and large eyes scare me on occasion

hank did you just poison bobbys dad or some shit

andy's sweethearted nature makes its return. i missed your tears king

beginning to doubt that manslaughter of hanks was quite as manslaughter as he was saying it was

what the fuck are ben and jerry's deals

AUDREY DONT TELL THE HOT EVIL LESBIAN(?) YOURE NOT INTO HER

love the beautiful presentation put on by the hayward sisters. and then we pan across the table and the doctor looks disquieted, leland looks like the fucking godfather, Sarah looks as depressed as possible and donna and Maddy are just sitting there ominously.

leland there is something so fucking wrong w you babygirl

is audrey praying to dale? girl me too

THE GIANT FRENCH GHOST MAN IS BACK

DID HE JUST CAST FIREBALL

ronette is getting possessed like the girl from thr exorcist. why is some guy there. what the fuck is happeningggggg

[driftwooddestiel]

below the cut is my “sonfs i NEED to amv” list, directly copy pasted from my notes app . this is a culmination of all my ideas its my magnum opus

even when the wayers cold (lisa maybe??)

golden skans (sam faith amv maybe???)

saving grace (the cranberriesnatural real)

spsceman (castiel, anna, amara and other characters ‘falling to earth’ growing to love humanity hear me out)

(coffees for closers) [fallout boy] (faith throughout supernatural)

w.a.m.s (destiel & purgatory and stuff arc alsoo apocapy’…

float on (everyone :) ) happy birthday dean ? what if they were happy…

am i ever gonna see your face again (destiel and their many widowed arcs)

when will you die (fbi/police & their run ins with dean and sam) OR (chuck and his constant attempts to change and regulate the charcaters) maybe both…

the girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares (samruby demon blood arc) this one is TOP PRIORITY!!!!!!!! because its so special to me forever (first ever amv idea ever :O)

things go bump in the night from the scooby doo movie! silly

monkey gone to heaven (pixies) with dean or sam and deaths idk what else to say okay

tame (pixies) with kripke era dean

no 13 baby - s4/s5 destiel… handprint……… hear me out…. EDIT: i dont remember writing this??? i dont really know how this even makes sense but i trust u past me kind of

Mr Hyde (bb brunes) - demon dean and/or mark of cain dean … maybe drowley??

turn the lights off (tally hall) - something about monsters demons etc as a queer allegory okay just . hear me out

call me maybe (carly rae jepsen) destiel early seasons please just hear me out on this one

excuses ou mensonges (orelsan) - nick and lucifer idk i just think maybe..

your body my temple sam and lucifer hear me out ACTUALLY JUSTG SMA AND AUTONOMY 

killing time 2.0 (american psycho tha musical) chuck and wnding the world ^_^

needle in the hay (elliot smith) - dean. throws up and dies

mask of my own face (lemon demon) - gabriel :)

what sarah said (death cab for cutie) - destiel and all cas’ deaths. throws up

(ANIAMTION) oatmeal (jack stauber) - the archangels 

i cant be with you (the cranberries) - destiel

private life (oingo boingo) - the bunker (probably dean focused… maybe even destiel you know how it is)

hymn for a scarecrow (tally hall) - the angels

VIDEO GAMES (LANA DEL RAY) DESTIEL IM GOING TO DIEA

ELECTROMAGNETIC SPECTRUM SONG!!!

curious (franz ferdinand) - destiel cas pov EDIT: okay another one i have no memory of writing

ode to my family (the cranberries) - jo harvelle

right action (franz ferdinand) - tfw and their many mistakes etc

johnny delusional (ffs) - chouse…………………………………..

hot to go (chappell roan) - dean being a hot girl summer tm

the bad touch (bloodhound gang) - hannigram… the sillies… do u feel me

judas (lady gaga) - hannigram my goofy guys. hannibal pov

sweet tangerine (the hush sound) - hannigram . more serious. hannibal pov again

nobody likes me everybody hates me guess ill go eat worms (idk artist) - hannibal :3

complicated (avril lavigne) - skyler white, about walter

boom clap (charli xcx) - hilson. no im not insane.

need you tonight (inxs) - hannigram. cmon. you see it

pop culture (youtube, forgot artist) - homestuck ‼️ 

everytime (butterfingers) - dean!!! hear me out okay. it also works so well for adam saw but unfortunately he has so little footage :(

i just had sex (the lonely island feat. akon) - saw characters getting out of traps and stuff this is such a silly idea but i laugh every time i think of it