#scott pilgrim’s killing game life

[scottpilgrim-kgl]

(Art credit goes to Mod Popee! [@puyopuyopopee!])

Say hi to our beloved cast

Minus Stephen. Not a Hint or anything just planning stuff kek

Rough sketches not all designs were finalized here :)

Everyone is dressed to the nines and ready to enjoy the party :)

List of characters in order under cut

Wallace Wells

Young Neil Nordegraf

Scott W. Pilgrim

Lucas “Crash” Wilson

Joel MacMillan

Kim Pine

Natalie “Envy” Adams

Ramona Flowers

Julie Powers

Knives Chau

Matthew Patel

Lucas Lee

Todd Ingram

Kyle Katayanagi

Ken Katayanagi

Stacey Pilgrim

Roxie Richter

Jimmy Monet

“Other Scott”

[peppermintys]

i think i hauve covid

[5ch4denfreude]

uhuh but what if SOME of the future scott pilgrim: killing game life are named after some crime books' titles that co-relate to what will happen in the chapter. eg. blindsighted, a faint cold fear, faithless, beyond reach

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

"""YIIK"" is a poorly written, irony-poisoned RPG using a real life actual unsolved murder as the basis for an inciting event, altered so that what happened to the victim was some ~scary supernatural stuff~ and also Alex was there being vaguely misogynistic the whole time and monologuing to no-one in a way no real human person thinks uncritically.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.

Propaganda why Scott Pilgrim is insufferable:

He is not a good person. He doesn’t take other people’s feelings into consideration. He mooches off his one real friend. He’s dating a teenager as a grown ass man. Every girlfriend he’s ever had hates him for good reasons

Stupid idiot

dated a 17 yr old

kind of a cop-out answer since he's like deliberately made to be an annoying person but

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Countdown: Best to Worst, Ramona's Evil Exes (Scott Pilgrim)

The Rules:

I will be covering ALL mediums Comic, movie, video game and even Show

When I say Best, I mean in which their actions are the least Egregious, they are entertaining, and they are more palatable, The lower on the list the worse they are

I must view them by their most detestable actions, as determined by either medium

This is a subjective list based on my opinion, so feel free to put your thoughts and opinions on the list.

Spoilers for the Comic, the Show, the Movie and the Video game

____________________________________________________________

The Best Ex: Roxie Richter

Roxie is probably the Evil Ex that is probably on the best terms with Ramona in all iteration (save the movie). Roxie was seen occasionally hanging out with Ramona in the comic, and while the Half Ninja did try to kill Ramona and Scott, its clear her reasons for being an Evil Ex are pretty justified. Ramona's dismissive nature of their relationship as a "Phase" and her leaving without a word was pretty damn heartbreaking.

And while she claims to be the most Emotionally intelligent, she has just as much trouble explaining her feelings as the other Exes do. But In Scott Pilgrim takes off we see her at her core and she just needed some damn closure. Which compared to the rest of the people on the list, she is the most justified.

The Second Best Ex: Mathew Patel

Okay so for a guy that only dated Ramona briefly in middle school and being a super petty Theater nerd... he isnt actually that Evil.

Yea he tries to play up his evil side, but he is actually a really polite dude. He sent Scott a warning about how the Evil Exes were going to attack him, and even took time to ensure Scott understood what was going on instead of just attacking him.

Sure in the Comic, Game and Movie we dont get much of his character, but in the Anime. We find out how after he won, he realized that the League was stupid and decided to Challenge Gideon after realizing this whole thing wouldnt actually win Ramona over. He eventually moves on with his life not even pursuing Ramona further, he rightfully Blames Gideon for his stupid assumptions and even BEATS GIDEON. Now Mathew is still a selfish jerk, but he is oddly not hostile towards Ramona and simply moves on with his life after this. Guess he just needed some self confidence to know his own worth was more than just the first guy to get defeated.

The Third best Ex: Lucas Lee

Bad boy skateboarder/ Action star. Lucas Lee.

In the Anime he is just kind of a Himbo that seems more angry with Todd than Ramona over how the relationship ended. In the movie and Comic he is not really caring much about the League and just decided to fight because why not. The comic has him at his worst which he simply says if Scott pays him 50 bucks he will simply leave him alone.

In this context he really hasnt done anything to Ramona and actually in the movie version asks how shes been casually. Regardless of the version Lucas never seemed to have any real negative views on Ramona. And He is arguably interchangable with Mathew, I do Put him lower because Lucas never called out how dumb the League actually was unlike Patel.

The Fourth Best/Fourth Worst Ex: Kyle & Ken Katayanag

I put them to share these rankings because they are interchangeable. No matter the story they both are always grouped together. The worst thing they did was Kidnap Kim and send robots to Attack Scott, but regardless of the version they arent outright hostile to Ramona but do blame the cheating fiasco on her. They are usually pretty chill outside of that and thats honestly the worst they get, they are just only sort of Asses but that is about it. They have a cool Robot though.

The Third Worst Ex: Todd Ingram

Ah Yes, the first Big Ex of Ramona's. They Dated throughout Highschool and then broke off when he left for Vegan School. He is probably the most Vanilla Scumbag, but he is actually even worse because he is Vegan and believes he is better than everyone else. And the Psychic powers that come with being Vegan... well He might have a point. But he is constantly cheating on his Girlfriend. And in the Show he ends up cheating and catches feelings for Wallace (who I am CONVINCED has a +7 Charisma boost) or Magic balls.

Anyway, regardless of iteration he is a serial cheater whether its in love, in a fight, or even on his Vegan Diet. He is also willing to punch girls for no reason other than they are annoying him. He punched the highlights out of Knives hair in most iterations, its f***ed up.

The Second Worst Ex: Scott Pilgrim (Specifically Even Older Scott)

Ramona once said that Scott was an evil ex just waiting to happen. but in the anime we actually get to see what that would be like. Take all of Scotts worst qualities, He dated a high schooler (no he didnt do anything but STILL), he cheated on girls, he would hide things from people, he wouldnt take responsibility for his own faults. And now have it where he is able to beat the Exes and get Ramona WITHOUT all of the emotional growth that let him realize he was an absolute Scumbag and needed to change.

In this timeline, Scott ended up separating from Ramona after a Rough patch, which lead to him trying to stop himself from ever dating Ramona by pulling him out of time to convince himself, but when that failed he trained for 10 YEARS gained the powers and Skills of ALL the Evil Exes then decided to fight EVERYONE in order to stop Scott From dating Ramona. Its arguable that he is probably the worst because he was more than willing to wipe out his own friend if needed just to achieve his goal. Showing how Tunnel vision Scott can be. In a way, Even Older Scott is Nega Scott fully realized. And is Ramona's most Dangerous Ex

The Worst Ex Gideon Gordon Graves

If anyone has read the Comic, Gideon is by far the Worst of the Evil Exes. Sure Scott of that other timeline maybe the most powerful, this Emotionally abusive prick is far and away the worst.

He created Emotional warfare to manipulate people, including Ramona. Messed with peoples memories, Was Physically and Emotionally abusive, His grand master plan was to gain complete control of the Glow, brain wash people, have Ramona get frozen and become one of his frozen Exes that he pulls out of stasis to Date whenever he gets board, (basically a sex slave)

The Anime REALLY cuts a lot of this out and makes him much less then he is, and the movie only has a control collar on Ramona where he is still an asshole control freak.

But the Comic REALLY goes out of the way where he is like Scott but at his ABSOLUTE WORST in every category.

Power maybe debated but when it comes to EVIL ex. there is no topping Gideon

[scottpilgrimisautistic]

From Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life lyrics:

I can't be sure But I think I heard you crawl [through] the door You didn't say a word and I think you tried to go to bed but instead you went to [the] floor You've been out drinking with the other boys again Telling them no we are only friends Making out and making noise Oh stop pretending That this isn't really ending And I will stop resenting you When you stop resenting me Oh oh oh I waited up late maybe a bit too late Until you finally came in Where do I end And where do you begin? You've been out partying with guys I've never met Drinking beer and smoking cigarettes Killing braincells and killing me Oh stop pretending That this isn't really ending And I will stop resenting you When you stop resenting me Why don't you stop pretending That this game is never-ending And I will stop resenting you When you stop resenting You stop resenting You stop resenting You stop resenting me

[grians-perch]

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[seahdalune]

template under read more + musings

TF2: so. TF2 huh. got into it last year. i kinda lost interest because of a tf2 discord server that i ended up leaving in bad terms + no content updates + i didn't do jackshit in the fandom. i made my robot oc blog but unfortunately that one died along with my fixation! oops.

Papa Louie: the ultimate killer of my tf2 fixation. the increasing amount of "Papa Louie lore is CRAZY!" videos in my recommended feed and the eventual release of Freezeria Deluxe drawing in streamers, and then Jerma, was what finally got me to crack and give the games a go. i don't regret it, because i finally joined a fandom that i actively (? the fandom's kiiiiinda dead aha;;) participate it, after like 2 years of wandering around! it kinda faltered around July~August, but after downloading Flashpoint, it came back double the force.

Scott Pilgrim: got the books for my birthday. read them. the graphic novels haunted me for a while because it was so.... different! from what i've read up to that point. i buried it into my subconciousness but the show dug it up again. i'm not thaaaat into it though. it's a background thought thing.

Good Omens: season 2 babyyyyyy, i wasn't as into it as i was in like.... 2021? i mean, back then i read like, a shitton of GO fanfics. i think that fandom is still my most bookmarked fandom within my fic folder. season 2 was great! heartbreaking even. but as i said, i already blew my steam back in like, 2021. i didn't really have Good Omens people to talk with anyways, not that i'm confident enough to find any.

Madness Combat: was around for the 2021 boom, but my fixation came back because of the Makeship plushie thing, fight meh ok. i wonder a little if they were worth it over the Papa Louie plushie when my fixation didn't last as long (it kiiiinda does sting i had to give him up? it would be nice to own official Papa Louie merch ;;) but whateves. they're in my arms. they're very cuddly. i'm getting off-point, anyways i love these freaks, love the action in the animations, i wanna play the game but at the same time i'm not sure how well i'm gonna be able to handle the guns and the killing. eh, i'll manage, i'll live. i guess i kinda stopped being fixated because like i said, nobody to talk to since i'm a little wary about the fandom... uh, i'm sure there are a lot of nice people, but i've had peeks at what arguments people have been having and that made me decide to just lurk.

AVA/AVM: my friend was watching it and they got into it, so i got curious and i looked into it as well. they're cute little ibbly babbles, those sticks. big fan of the Animator vs Animation series especially because awoo.... it advances so much in style in each episode. V and VI especially blow shit out of the water. love it. love it. didn't really bother to get into the fandom though. i didn't see a place to sit down, so i just walked through the merchant hall and moved on. i stare at the wares every now and then though.

HLVRAI: watched it recently. it's nice. not.... really enjoyable enough for me to be a full-blown fan, but whateves. i kinda don't know why that happened to be the thing that all my mutuals were obsessed with throughout 2021 but the only reason i didn't get into it either was because i didn't finish Hal-Life 1 and i wanted to get into the game blind due to hearing that it was "the best game ever that influenced the gaming industry forever". i wonder, that if i wasn't such a wuss, would i have watched HLVRAI earlier and enjoyed it more? we'll have to see with HL2VRAI. i haven't finished HL2 either btw... sigh.

[crispy-crust]

OLD PINNED SUCKS WE MAKIN A NEW ONE

salutations Gays (you probably found me throuGh homestuck or amphibia so there's like a 94% chance you're queer)

my name is Gwen! but i also Go by crispy, marcy, lapis, and moon! i'm currently 17 i am arab! i post a lot of art! i am a bit of an artist i'm aromantic and a lesbian! i'm a sylph of life, a derse dreamer, a fuschia blood, and a true pisces

i'm also a nonbinary transfem (they/she/it pronouns) and i have audhd

quick thinGs you should know about me:

-i make a lot of jokes about killinG myself (never serious) -as previously stated i have audhd and i'm incredibly obsessed with a lot of thinGs so if you talk to me often chances are i'll keep rantinG about the same 4-5 topics -my timezone is Gmt+3 - i use a typinG quirk as you've probably noticed, no i won't stop -i rebloG A FUCK TON of ship art, if women kissinG ain't your thinG then Go away i will be rebloGGinG stephcass -i am a very firm believer of june eGbert, DO NOT TAg ANY ART I POST OF HER WITH HER DEADNAME

my interests!:

-homestuck (spinterest) -amphibia (spinterest) -dc comics (spinterest) -sonic the hedGehoG (spinterest) -tmnt -scott pilGrim -steven universe -pokemon friendlocke -Gwenpool -the muppets -bee and puppycat -ducktales 2017 -tally hall/miracle musical (i do NOT support red tie) -indie Games -and a bunch more stuff!!!!!!

DNI LIST + BYF:

dni: -basic shit, biGots, transphobes, racists, yk -proshippers, zoos, pedos (please die) -overly reliGious -thinks marcy wu was in the wronG (i am so serious i will kill you) -supporters of tally hall's red tie (don't wanna say his name) -just Generally don't be a creep or a dick and you're Good byf: -dc comics readers -amphibia watchers -homestucks -sonic enjoyers -other queer people!!!

links and stuffs

i stream on twitch quite often! come say hi also follow jae for Good measure

i run the semi daily meulin leijon art acc! check it out sometime

i also post a ton of art over here under the #my art taG

we have a discord! hop in and hear me talk about comics a lot

ok thas it thank you for readinG 38)

[julietvstheworld]

( general headcanons ) ben drowned

sfw - general ben drowned headcanons

╰┈➤ mentions of murder, mentions of blackmail

voice headcanon - animal by neon trees

age 20, birthday july 20th

typically dresses in normal clothes (mostly hoodies, jeans, and flannels) but keeps his link costume under his bed.

he pretty much never gets sent out on field missions. he's always stuck with hacking into security cameras, creating fake ids, obtaining information on victims, etc. because of this, he's pretty much no more than an urban legend to the public.

he probably has the lowest (killing) body count out of all the killers. he is never asked to murder, so he never feels the need to.

the most charismatic and outgoing out of the killers. he tries his best to get along with everyone and usually succeeds.

due to his endless access to everyone's search history, he typically blackmails his allies to get what he wants. not because he wishes ill on people, he just wants to have a good time. he usually asks them to hang out or do his chores.

(hear me out) ben is not exactly a ghost like the other killers typically assume. although he was killed, slenderman had decided that he would've become a valuable asset if utilized correctly. so slenderman (using some lovecraftian powers idk) had brought ben to life. so i guess he's basically a zombie with less rotting????

loves raves and concerts, they're the only reason he even leaves the mansion. he wears dark sunglasses that literally never come off when he's out

he is a huge stoner and is the dealer for the others.

although he is a lover of all kinds of videogames, he immensely prefers retro games because he feels like there's more soul to them and are just more atmospheric.

collects funky socks because obviously, he collects funky socks

his favorite film is scott pilgrim vs. the world and his favorite book is ready player one by ernest cline

people he likes: jeff the killer, nina the killer, clockwork, x-virus, sally

people he dislikes: slenderman

[scottpilgrim-kgl]

[Art by Mod Popee!]

Some surprise promo art to stave the insatiable over! /lh /pos

Totally an Ace Attorney spoof. Sue me. Pun intended.

- 🍪

(PS don’t think too hard about the secondary character role choices. Unless you want to, who am I to stop you!)

[peppermintys]

heeeeeeey there big boy ;)

[sanktpolypenbourg]

I liked the new Scott Pilgrim series better than all the previous versions, but I still have a weird love-hate relationship to its basic premise that life is so cheap in that universe

They live in a world where everyone is a video game character who drops loot (coins) when you kill them, killing ("defeating") is considered a normal and socially acceptable activity and is done excessively and to comedic effect (in prior versions: also to complex/likeable characters with developped backstories)

But also they still have big funerals where they may put the dropped coins of the "defeated" in the coffin in lieu of a corpse

Objectively funny, but come on

I guess my main issue so far was that Scott Pilgrim shouldn't be allowed to do it. If this had been about like Roxie Richter poofing the likes of Scott, I probably would have been on board immediately

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

It is honestly always so wild seeing people go insane over morality in works of fiction as if it has any impact on real life or as if the characters are real.

Like yes Ed killed a shit ton of people after Stede left. Izzy also killed a shit ton of people and was a horrendous piece of shit until season two and people let that one slide.

Yes Nathan hooking up with Abigail then assuming she was in love with him and proposing to her was a clusterfuck because he’s a clingy depressed man obsessed with being loved for once.

Yes Scott Pilgrim dating Knives was wrong.

Yes Willow using magic to make Tara forget their fight was fucked up.

This is the whole point of fiction. It isn’t bad writing. It is characters making morally grey or outright poor choices. This isn’t Blues Clues where you see something bad happening and point it out as if it’s a game and you noticed something nobody else has. Everybody knows. The writers know. The actors know. Everybody knows. And it’s okay, it doesn’t diminish the works in any shape or form, you can like characters who do shitty things or make poor choices.

You can watch a show and say “the characters shouldn’t have done that” instead of “this is just bad writing”

[angelblouse]

hihi lil intro here

My name is ezra, i have AUDHD, dissociation, OCD, anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia, and possible BPD. I go by he/him/his pronouns and I am transmasc! ( I identify as male. ) My special interests include DDLC, whales, sharks, jellyfish, vocaloid, and the ocean! My hyperfixations are just regular nature LMAO. My age range is between 13-15, and I'm taken by my AMAZING AWESOME BF EVA!!!!!!!! :3 Fandoms I'm in are DDLC, NANA, AOT, somewhat getting in MHA again (DW IM NOT THE CRINGEY TYPE PLS DONT KILL ME IN MY SLEEP), CSM, PJSK, Fran Bow, FNAF, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Vocaloid, Splatoon, Spider-man, Venom, Deadpool, Batman, NGE, SP, Family Guy, Scott Pilgrim, Monster High, Ever After High, Perfect Blue, Madoka Magica, Serial Experiments Lain, Onibi Series, Bandori, K-ON!, Lucky Star, Danganronpa (I promise u im not toxic :sob:), Ace Attorney (The game), Dark deception, Puppet Combo, All About Lily Chou Chou, Fatal Frame, Kindom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Saiki-K, Yotsuba, Sinjin Drowning, CoryxKenshin, Kubzscouts, anything to do with DC or Marvel, Cherry Crush, Onegai: My melody, ANYTHING RELATED TO SANRIO, YOU and ME and HER, Glitter Force, Super Gals, Gyaru, J-Fashion, Mermaid Melody, Winx, IdolMaster, Needy Streamer Overload, Death Note, My Happy Sugar Life (Still traumatized from that..), Nichijou, Panty and Stocking, Books by Junji Ito, Omori, Doko Demo Issyo, Chobits, Vocaloid, Genshin Impact, Little Nightmares, House, Milk Inside a Bag of Milk Inside a Bag of Milk, HORROR GAMES IN GENERAL, and more!! (If i continued this, this would sound like MatPat telling u FNAF lore) I prob might edit this l8 idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

#intro #tism #madokamagica #LGBTQ+ #transmasc #poop #yippe #idkwtelsetoputhere

@jellyfish-mp3 SORRY FOR TAGGING U GRAYSON UR THE ONLY ONE HERE IK HELP

[dreamlandforever]

@writersmonth Prompt: Day 3 - Seashell

Fandom: Teen Wolf | Sterek WC: 600

AO3

III. Seashell | The Mermaid

“Did you know that seashells were once used as currency?” Stiles asked, playing with the seashell currently his hand, throwing it up in the air and catching it again. 

Derek held his hand out to Stiles, who wordlessly handed him the seashell he had found. 

“They also represent St. James, the patron Saint of Spain and pilgrims.” Stiles added, not really turning to see Derek. “He was the son of a fisherman, so I guess that’s why.” 

“Why do you know that?” Derek asked, pulling Stiles against him so the younger man could focus on him instead of on the sea.

“I researched it.” Stiles said simply, shrugging. Derek was sometimes taken aback with how casual Stiles was about some very random stuff he did. 

“You thought Neptune was the Big Bad?” Derek couldn’t help but ask. A part of him knew Stiles was way too smart for his own good. The other part of him also knew that Stiles was severely sleep deprived, which, at times, made him not the most coherent person. 

“No, dude. I had no clue what was happening, and excuse me for evil man-eating mermaid not being my first thought, and there were seashells all around town. So I researched if they were used for spells, or if they had any meaning. I learned a lot of useless information, because apparently the mermaid simply didn’t notice she had seashells all over her every time she came into town to steal a man.” Stiles defended himself, taking the seashell from Derek’s hands again to play with it. 

“You aren’t going to join them?” Derek asked, looking at the rest of the Pack in the lake. He rolled his eyes when he noticed that Scott and Isaac were trying to drown each other and passing it off as a ‘game’.

“They have the weirdest way to flirt, don’t they?” Stiles commented, finally setting the shell down. “There are no shells in Beacon Hills, I have no clue how mermaids work. I hate them, though. That I know.”

Derek couldn’t agree more, especially with the still healing bites he had on his torso and legs. A good chunk of his thigh was still trying to regrow. “Like you have a better way?”

“Hey! I got you in the end, didn’t I?” Stiles protested immediately, letting Derek hold him closer to him.

“Stiles, you almost got yourself killed. Literally.” 

“Look, I was trying to be brave and save your ass. I did. And then you immediately returned the favor. That’s how we work, Sourwolf, deal with it. Now, your co-Alpha and your son are trying to kill each other and I think you should intervene.” Stiles commented, pointing at where Scott and Isaac were getting more violent, and Lydia and Allison were simply sitting on their chairs fixing their manicure after dealing with the mermaid. The rest of the betas were swimming away from the two, ignoring them. 

Derek sighed. “Are you not coming?”

“The shade is this skin’s best friend, Derbear. Go deal with them and then come back here. And don’t get in the lake, it might be bad for your wounds.” Stiles told him, making himself comfortable in the outdoors couch Lydia had, perfectly safe under an oversize umbrella. He started wondering if he could find enough seashells to make a necklace, when he heard a big splash. By the time he turned to look, Derek was already on his way back to him, and Scott and Isaac were staring blankly at each other. Stiles had no clue what had happened, but he was certain it was a lot more violent than it had to be, judging by Erica’s loud laugh. He closed his eyes again, grateful for his life, while he waited for his perfect boyfriend to join him.