#sealpatico

[fascinationex]

I think you have to actually look at how seals move on land compared to how sea lions move on land to truly appreciate why it was SO important that sealstorm be a seal

[plainblackcanvas56]

I've been rereading and rereading sealpatico fic by @cardio-vore

(I'm sorry for animeboy-ifying your seal mermaid.)

I've linked the series below, its incredibly good!

[hotmothsummer]

@fascinationex I found your sealpatico au and consequently somehow lost 5 hours of my life idk what happened all I can remember is seals. I’m also admitting I have no idea what brainstorm looks like in canon but I am passionate about creatures and speculative biology so this is all I have to offer you. I cannot accurately draw ur faves but I can spit up a concept of what I think a seal mermaid might look like. Excellent au!!!!! highly entertaining to spin around in my head !!!

[transformeroftheday]

Simpatico | Brainstorm x Perceptor FIC Recs

✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬

@fascinationex Simpatico Fics

(Literally just all of them. But for my top favorites.)

A Record of the Eating Days | Ongoing | 12/? | E

Summary: In which Brainstorm takes a stopgap job as a cleaner and becomes attached to a very dangerous lab specimen--one he's not even meant to know about.

🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬

The One Where Brainstorm And Percy Go To A Conference | Complete | 1/1 | E

Summary: For the prompt, "🤔 percy and bstorm go to a science conference, no one gets/believes that they're dating, smh"

✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️

The one where Brainstorm sends Perceptor off to work with a sex toy like it's a packed lunch | Complete | 1/1 | E

Summary: :I packed something for you,: Brainstorm commed him, once he was already on the shuttle.

Perceptor's first instinct was to lunge for his pack in case something exploded.

🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬

the sealpatico au | Series | G-E

Summary: Perceptor is a marine scientist working in the Arctic. Brainstorm is a frightfully clever, mammalian polar mermaid. Chromedome and Rewind have a television show on a cable channel where they're supposed to be documenting orcas. This series is heavily focused on the mermaid stuff but we learn about other characters along the way.

✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️

heart's still beating, guess I'm pretty lucky | @sroloc--elbisivni | Complete | 4/4 | T

Summary: Brainstorm was silent, field indicating nothing. Perceptor calculated whether it would be more logical or illogical to wait, and concluded the latter. Brainstorm made rapid decisions, and had not formerly needed encouragement to voice them, but that had been millions of stellar cycles ago. “I would appreciate promptness in your rejection.”

“Who said anything about rejecting?” Brainstorm tipped his head to the side. “I’m just trying to make sure I’ve got this straight in my processor. You performed ethically dubious, untested, methodologically uncertain engineering on yourself. Because you missed me.”

Perceptor deleted all of his emotions for a reason. After the Quintesson threat leads Optimus Prime to push through the Autobot-Decepticon Alliance, that reason no longer applies. Fixing the situation is going to take some trial and error...and a self-proclaimed genius.

🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬

The Left Side of the Lab | prisonmechanic | Complete | 8/8 | M

Summary: Preceptor takes a job in Iacon without reading the fine print. He very much regrets this.

Brainstorm has a large decision to make- expose himself and thousands of others and solve the fuel crisis or stay chained to a lab desk for the rest of his functioning. But Brianstrom Has always been good at creative solutions; Much to Perceprtor's dismay.

✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️

Hazard Light | cerkowah, @eatyoursparkout, @emporianne | Complete | 1/1 | T

Summary: In the aftermath of the time travel incident, Perceptor made a resolution to get to know his lab partner better. He didn’t anticipate that he’d grow so fond of Brainstorm in the process. Blindsided by a rare and deadly illness, he realizes that he’s miscalculated the depths of his regard.

Perceptor is determined to study and cure the disease with Brainstorm none the wiser. Unfortunately, feelings have never been his area of expertise.

(Hanahaki AU)

🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬

and the other | @polyhexian | Complete | 1/1 | E

Summmary: "Wow, you've had new emotion protocols installed for like a day and you're already developing new fetishes," Brainstorm commented, "Lucky thing they're fetishes for me specifically."

✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️🔬✈️

you can touch (you can play) | badskeletonpuns, thevosboss | Complete | 1/1

Summary: “Ah, there you are, Brainstorm. I had a question for you about—ah. You seem…busy.” The lab's sudden guest—Perceptor—came fully into view, stopped in his tracks by the scene of Brainstorm leaning against a workbench covered in interface arrays. Brainstorm tried his best to keep heat from rising to his cheeks, especially as Perceptor cutely tilted his head and quirked a brow. “What…exactly are you doing?”

Fragging myself for science, Brainstorm thought. “Building spike and array mods for the crew, by request,” he said instead.

As an MTO, Brainstorm wasn't constructed with an array. In a fit of inspiration after a Perceptor-fueled recharge flux, he decides to fix this. Perceptor probes at his experiment, and Brainstorm finds answers to questions he hadn't even thought to ask.

[rcxdirectrix]

Do you have any simpatico fic recs? I just found this ship and I'm starrrvviinngg

The entire sealpatico AU 🤌

Some nice ones:

Thesis of a Spark (one of my all time faves it's so good)

Mechanical Heart

Take the Shot

fellas, is it gay to accidentally make out with your lab partner

scientific method

multiverses (mtmte/cyberverse crossover i think)

TFA Simpatico, bless you op: heart's still beating, guess im pretty lucky

Simpatico but one of them has Hanahaki disease: Hazard Light

If you want to be absolutely wrecked by pain and angst through the entire read (most painful fic ive read I think. it's been a while. mind the tags): Lipedus

This one's unfinished (still worth the read though) but if you like monsters: The Record of the Eating Days

Another monster fic (Brainstorm this time). good world building. reminds me of Tokyo Ghoul: The Left Side of the Lab

Brainstorm feeds Sparkeater Perceptor with his spark energy (i know it sounds bad when it's phrased like that but it's just something kinky lol, Brainstorm is fine): A Proper Snack

other nice N/S/F//W ones:

Practice

Sympatico Interlude

The one where Brainstorm and Percy go to a conference

.. there's a lot more, but these are the ones i remember for now.

[jariktig]

For the fandom ask! 4, 12, and 17 ✨️

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

There aren't really a lot I actively don't ship - will enjoy almost any ntuple for any n with enthusiasm, given the right narrative premise etc etc. (Your bruticaid fic, for a classic example there, and @fascinationex's sealpatico, and @cleverthylacine's Ravwave/assorted cast of others). For the (counts on fingers) three that I cope less well with in general: SkyStar offers such excellent opportunities for academic tomfoolery; some JazzProwl has lovely stuff about learning to live with someone beloved but very different from oneself, and has inspired so much stuff there must be something in it; StarOP has almost unparalleled opportunities for comedy around differences in underlying assumptions. And all of them provide excellent bases for ntuples (Jazz/Prowl/Soundwave; MegaStarOP; SkyStar/Thundercracker/Skywarp)...

12. compliment someone else in your fandom

this is a let-me-count-the-ways thing as well; almost everyone I read on AO3 or follow on here is brilliant. Forced to pick one: @decepti-thots for the detailed analysis and the sheer enthusiasm and the absolutely gorgeous outfit that it put up a photo of at TFNation.

17 the thing in canon that everyone loves and that you also love

The sheer insanity of G1 cartoon, and the Unicron Singularity...

[polyhexian]

tfw ur boyfriend is a seal

anyway ive been enthusiastically reading fascinationex / @cardio-vore‘s simpatico merformer au where brainstorm is a seal and im fuckin living for it. im notoriously picky about simpatico as is so you know its good if im dropping everything to read every time i get an update email LOL

[sroloc--elbisivni]

😊, 🛳️, and 💞 for transformers fics?

😊 A fic that made you smile on a bad day

the Sealpatico au by fascinationex, multiple multiple times, most recently Thirty Three. it's just....good. soft and funny and the kind of slice of life balanced with the genuine dynamics of people who may or may not get along generally but definitely get on each other's nerves sometimes and make messy choices. it's good.

🛳️ A fic that brought you aboard a new ship

afdghj deep cut, Samizdat by Zuzeca for Shockwave/Blurr--a WIP since 2015 and also explicit, if either of those things is something you want to know. I'd already been convinced of 'hm this is kind of hot in a fucked up way' for TFA shockblurr but this fic putting them both in IDW with Senator Shockwave and pro racer Blurr as these two people with very public profiles somehow ending up with a way more intimate connection than either of them anticipated or even really wanted is what got me onto 'okay yes i ship this sincerely now.' mutual emotional support maniacs.

💞 A fic that led to you making friends with the author

Mistakes on Mistakes Until-- is by jabberish and a jazz/prowl fic with decepticon jazz and identity porn and what it means to engage in war while comprehending the full scope and horrors of your actions and what makes a just war and I kept talking to jab about how much i loved these things and what they were doing with these things and they kept talking back and then we found other ways to talk and now we are friends :D and i get to write things targeting them specifically >:D and occasionally get targeted back but such is the price of admission

[silverxenomorph]

🚨 New Pup Merformer Drop!!! 🚨

Pupstorm does the least trouble without Rodimus nearby. He behaves the best (if you can call his showboating, behaving) if Perceptor is with him.

Originally I was going to make him and Octopus mer - a Blue-ringged Octopus - but after reading @cardio-vore‘s Sealpatico fics I changed him to a Seal instead, my first mammalian, non-fish Mer! Out of all the seal species in the world I picked a Crabeater Seal for him.

[bottomcyclonus]

Once again the post I was tagged on was Super Long, so here's my start of the chain ajdhsjd

Tagged By: @nickthecatboy ty for both tags!!!

Favorite Color: Currently? Teal... Blues and greens are nice.... Purple is a classic

Currently Reading: My social work textbook 🥴 other than that.... The Sealpatico AU.....

Last Song: La Vie Boheme - Rent !! It's been an earworm literally All weekend

Last Movie: I've had such little free time as of late Uhhh..... I genuinely don't know so I'm just gonna tell you to watch Venom

Last Show: Loki, unfortunately. It's very boring. I like that he's [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]

Sweet, Savory, Spicy: Savory!!

Craving: Not really hungry rn? Um. Grilled salmon

Tea or Coffee: I like my sugar with honey and TEA

Currently Working On: Goddamn social work homework. It's finals week. I am very behind. I am not a social work major. Ouch!

NP Tags: if I tagged you on the other one then you're tagged on this too ajdhsjdj

Though I am adding @alpacalamamama just to fuck with my stinky boy >:3c

[fascinationex]

Take 2! How is Sealstorm handling the heat in Australia when he visits with Percy?

He's a creative problem solver :)

(takes place not long after this short I think)

-----

Perceptor didn't know when the power went out. For one, it happened some time after two in the morning, when he was fast asleep. He had probably slept better after the relentless cold of the hotel room had melted away.

The first he knew about the power outage was at 6 in the morning when he opened his eyes to clean white sheets and a wide expanse of white ceiling.

His first thought was that Brainstorm was... absent. Odd, since he liked to wake Perceptor up with a suffocating reminder that he weighed at least three regular people.

His second thought was that it was strange that he wasn't freezing. Despite his best efforts on this trip, he usually woke with icecubes for toes and fingers gone terribly stiff with cold.

Preceptor blinked at the white hotel ceiling for a second. Then leaned over to pat the bedside table until his glasses materialised in his hand. His phone was next. There was an SMS, which had come through in silence at 2:31 AM: Dear valued guest, hotel management has been made aware that the electricity supply to this block is currently unavailable...

That wasn't good. Perceptor knew Brainstorm would probably be fine even if the power stayed out for a while, but his belly still did a nervous little flip about it. Getting too hot would be bad news for a polar mermaid.

Brainstorm was truly a creature of the ice and cold, well-armed with all his weight of blubber and fur to swim in waters that would kill Perceptor in minutes. But that meant that he couldn't tolerate a lot of heat. Sixteen degrees was fine, but eighteen was pushing it, and over twenty made him feel sick, which in turn made him cranky and rude.

It being high summer, their selection criteria for hotels on this trip had pretty much started and stopped at climate control. And now, evidently, the power was out.

Perceptor skimmed the rest of the message: utilities supplier working on it, management apologises for the inconvenience. Right. He turned the phone screen dark.

"Brainstorm?" He rolled out of the bed. It was a tall, luxurious hotel bed, set so high off the ground that he kind of just spilled into a standing position. He'd taken to sleeping in soft trousers and a hooded sweater, in red and black respectively, for the cold. They were warm and cosy—a little too warm now, actually. He pulled the sweater off and left it on top of the rumpled covers.

Outside the master bedroom, which was pretty much 90% enormous bed, the hotel suite was... kind of a mess. There were long snaking trails of water over the floor and furniture displaced at random. He glanced into the kitchenette and found the refrigerator and freezer units completely absent, but most of their contents spread across the benches.

"... Brainstorm?" he called, a little louder. Weirdly, the hotel room didn't sound as though the power was out. The heavily glazed windows kept most of the traffic muted outside but he could hear the dull humming of something. "Are you alright?"

"Bath tub!"

The sound of his voice was a relief. Perceptor turned towards the bathroom instead. It was, like the rest of the suite, perfectly palatial and on-trend. In this case that meant it was an awful lot of big marble slabs, and that the room came fitted with the strange, voyeuristic vibe of walls that were half clear glass.

That meant that Perceptor should have been able to see in straight away, but he couldn't: what had once been clear glass had evidently not remained so, and when he touched the surface he pulled his fingers back fast at the biting cold of it. It had become frosted the hard way, he guessed.

A mass of dark smudgy shapes were vaguely visible on the floor. One of them, he assumed, had to be Brainstorm's furred back flippers and tail.

Perceptor was more curious than worried, now. He opened the door and paused in the threshold, and although he was braced for the temperature change, it still smacked into him like a wall of frost. He was suddenly very, very awake.

It was freezing in here.

The remains of several kitchen appliances lay strewn about, cannibalised. Strange mechanical parts littered the marble floors, the exposed organs of systems he rarely contemplated right out in the open. The humming was louder than he expected. There was evidently no grid power in use. Instead, Brainstorm had rigged something with a system of wires, boxes, electrical tape and mysterious coloured fluids: crude chemical batteries, he supposed.

In the sunken tub itself, Brainstorm was half-buried beneath icy water. His long claws were delicately manipulating a length of copper wire that Perceptor felt probably did not belong around so much moisture.

He rolled around when Perceptor came in, turning so he could prop his spined elbow on the lip of the tub and rest his chin upon his hand.

"Percy! Good morning," he crowed, letting the wire tumble from his off-hand casually. His attention was suddenly laser-focused on Perceptor. Heady. "Come inside, you're letting all the cool out."

Perceptor looked at the machinery. His toes already hated him, but he took a step inside the bathroom and closed the door.

"This looks..." Advanced. Dangerous. Necessary, perhaps. Also, very much like an inappropriate use of hotel property. "... creative," Perceptor suggested, instead of any of those things.

"What, this old thing?" Brainstorm crooned, picking up a chunk of ice, examining it and letting it splash back into the water. "I'm a creative problem solver. Also, it started getting really hot at about three am and I had to put my unmatched genius to the task. Are you coming over here?"

Perceptor eyed the icy water in the tub. It was very, very cold in here. At some point, there had been a bath mat, which might have insulated his toes a little—but it was basically a block of ice, so he assumed that had gotten soaked at some point before the... unmatched genius situation... had unfolded in here.

He took another step closer to the tub. One of Brainstorm's damp hands wrapped around his ankle. His claws were as cold as steel in winter and the chill bit straight into Perceptor's skin.

"I won't be able to stay in here for too long," he cautioned, hoping to manage Brainstorm's expectations. He knew Brainstorm loved to brag about his successful inventions, but Perceptor might have to listen from the other side of the glass.

"That's a shame. That looks interesting." Brainstorm nodded at Perceptor's chest, where his nipples had beaded up tightly, obvious under his tee-shirt. He pressed his thumb gently into the big muscle of Perceptor's calf. Beneath the sting of the cold, it felt nice.

Perceptor hummed. "Freezing is less sexually interesting to me than you may imagine."

Brainstorm let his ankle go, rolling his yellow eyes extravagantly.

"I've heard," he said, sounding perilously close to whining. "Believe me, I've heard."

Perceptor's teeth were starting to chatter. He leaned down just enough to smooth his hand over the cold bone of Brainstorm's helm. "It's very impressive. I'm glad you're not overheating."

"Of course! I'm just that good." Brainstorm beamed "Let me know when they get the electricity on again?"

"Certainly." And that was about all Perceptor could manage, barefoot in this cold. He shut the bathroom door behind him, feeling the warmth of the rest of the hotel suite hit him like a wall. He shivered all over and his glasses fogged at the edges.

At least that meant Brainstorm was still taken care of. Perceptor headed into the carnage of the kitchenette to make his depredations on the steadily warming contents of the fridge. It would go too waste, otherwise.

Probably, he should be more concerned about who was going to take care of the bill for damages to an absurdly expensive hotel room. Brainstorm seemed unlikely. The university, possibly. Insurance, maybe. Wasn't the tourism department sponsoring part of this trip...?

Perceptor deftly avoided the spilled water on his way back to bed with his breakfast.

[fascinationex]

[fascinationex]

I think I'm gonna make a little chapter fic to hover at the end of the sealpatico ao3 series to collect the scraps and odds and ends. I don't really think many of them are great but I did notice some people on here enjoyed them, so we'll stick them on ao3 for posterity I think

[fascinationex]

A little alt pov sealpatico short

Chromedome emerged from his sleepless night into the corridor. The building was silent, and the sharp wind outside was clearly audible even through the heavily insulated walls and windows. He wandered out, stooped and fluffy-haired, seeking a hot cup of tea, and hoping to avoid waking Rewind again with more tossing and turning.

He could hear Perceptor on the phone in the common area as he approached. It was the middle of the night for them at the Arctic research station, but of course Perceptor's home country ran eight hours ahead. So by two in the morning, he was settled in to make his calls bright and early, giving himself the whole work day to be as much trouble as possible.

It was a novelty to see him at the station after dark now, actually. Chromedome got the impression he was pretty much living out of that cave with Brainstorm, although who could say what they were doing out there all that time.

("Oh, Domey," Rewind had said, when he mentioned this. He had that face that said god help me, I love a stupid man.

But Chromedome maintained his point. He wasn't oblivious, but they couldn't be spending all that time just having sex. Could they?

"Science. Engineering. Feats of genius. No offence but you wouldn't understand," had been Brainstorm's own answer. Chromedome had not been offended, except by how Brainstorm had drawled 'no offence'.)

"...No," sighed Perceptor now, leaning heavily upon his elbow on the table. "No, I understand that. But he's not really an anima—I understand you transport mermaids, yes, but he doesn't need an enclosure. Could we not have him on as a passenger?" A long pause. "I see. I see. Yes. Interesting. No. Thank you for your time."

His mouth might have said 'no, thank you for your time,' but his face said 'yes, and the horse you rode in on.'

"Not getting far?" Chromedome wondered, clutching his tea mug. He had his own work to do, and figured he might as well be productive out here. Perceptor was usually uncomplicated, quiet company—but if he was going to be having tense, furious phone conversations all night, maybe it was better to go back to bed and stare at the ceiling in the dark.

"It would be easier to ship heroin into this country," Perceptor said flatly.

He did not look up. He was already stabbing a new number into the phone, tired but undaunted.

"Ah," said Chromedome, and then wisely chose not to ask for details.

[fascinationex]

I wonder what sealstorm would think about macaroni pasta. Like these pale, gradually softening hot (wheat) tubes. I need this information

here u go anon. they have a fancy hotel room and investigate macaroni.

(if i expand on this later i may add it to sealpatico ao3 series, but it might be destined for Odds and Ends instead)

—-—-—-—-—

Getting Brainstorm into the hotel room was a surprisingly easy feat. The hotel had been selected for its air conditioning—capable of holding the room temperature at 14 degrees twenty four hours a day—and its massive baths. But it also had an underground car park and a well-used goods lift, intended for moving large items of furniture and loads of towels, tablecloths and bedding out of sight of the guests.

Usually Perceptor would not have gone in for hiding Brainstorm away like a bad secret, and the grey grim setting of the car park with its battered heavy duty elevator and harsh fluorescent lighting didn't make him feel much better about that.

Unfortunately, the weather had hit 32 degrees instead of its predicted 26, and Brainstorm had positively wilted since their arrival. He had quickly become quiet and withdrawn in the warmth—enough that they'd stopped at a drive-thru bottle shop and picked up a bag of ice so he could shove his face into it on the drive. After conferring with Chromedome and Rewind in the car, they'd agreed to keep him in the air conditioned limousine while the pair went in and organised a quiet ride up to the suite, away from too many interested and staring people.

"I take it back," said Brainstorm the moment he was free of the limo again, gingerly worming his way over the bitumen. He was hugging his bag of ice like a child with a stuffed animal. "Your country sucks."

"You're not really seeing it at its best right now," sighed Perceptor, who was occupied by holding the second and third bags of ice.

They'd chosen to come here in summer because the winters in the Arctic were dark and terrible, and because much of the necessary temperature regulation could be offloaded onto modern cooling technology and not Brainstorm himself. If the situation grew truly dire, they could drive him ten minutes to the beach and, at his pace, he'd be in cold waters in a couple hours. They'd be the wrong cold waters, of course, but they'd sort the rest out later.

"Good morning! This is Brainstorm, is it?" asked the member of staff who met them in the car park. She was five foot nothing and dressed in a white, blue and gold hotel uniform, and she had the security pass to the elevators.

"That's me," said Brainstorm. The woman blinked like she hadn't expected him to talk at all, but she recovered fast.

"Wonderful. Let me show you up to the thirty second floor and to your suite."

She only hesitated a moment before getting into the enclosed space with him, and then Perceptor followed them both. Brainstorm did seem rather out of place in the elevator: he looked too big for it, even though he fit just fine. It was as if the smaller the space, the more Perceptor realised exactly how large he really was. He immediately leaned a great deal of his weight upon Perceptor, probably because of the bags of ice that were numbing his arms.

The hotel employee swiped her card, pushed the button for 32, and then smiled at them both.

"Is it something in particular that brings you to the city?" she asked.

"I'm doing stuff," Brainstorm said vaguely. "I'm giving lectures at the university, because I'm a genius and they want me to make all their students smart too. And some seafood restaurants invited us to go film there."

"The city is certainly known for its fresh and varied seafood," she said, sounding a bit like she'd swallowed a pocket travel guide and, probably wisely, not touching that first statement. "If you get the opportunity, I highly recommend trying mud crabs while you're here."

Mud crabs were an Indo-Pacific species, and probably not something Brainstorm had tried. He'd probably need twenty to fill up, but that was going to be the restaurant's problem, not Perceptor's. He felt it a natural consequence of silly public relations stunts, like inviting a seal mermaid to film at your venue.

"I do like crab," he said, rallying somehwat at this mention of a favorite topic.

The air in the hotel building was much cooler than the outside or even the car had been, and as they rose in the elevator it became noticeably cooler. It still seemed interminable, humming and creaking around them as it rose and rose.

At last the doors opened, spilling them out into the quiet of a carpeted corridor. The carpets looked spotless, which was quite a feat considering they were plush and dark and had no pattern whatsoever. Perceptor found himself wondering how much the hotel had actually cost... and then he remembered that it was getting billed to a mix of corporate entities about whose finances he didn't much care.

"The thermostat in your suite was set earlier this morning, so it should be nice and cool when you get in," the employee was saying as she led them down a short corridor and around a corner. They went through a set of swinging double doors and emerged into what was clearly the guests' areas. Although the corridor was long and wide, Perceptor counted exactly three doors in it.

The door to their suite, 3201, opened to exhale a rush of air that felt positively frigid by comparison. Brainstorm made a short pleased noise in his throat, took the second bag of ice from Perceptor and lurched his massive body in. He immediately made a beeline for the cool marble of what must have been a bathroom.

Perceptor was left, clutching his remaining ice, to thank the employee and accept their key cards—one each and an extra—in the entryway.

"I hope you have a wonderful stay. If you need anything, dial 0 for reception, we'd be happy to assist." And then she got out of their way and left them alone.

Perceptor pocketed one key card and left two on the console table near the door. He went to find the freezer for the ice so he could get some of the feeling back in his arm.

"There's already ice in the bath," Brainstorm sighed, once he'd heard the door close. He sounded tired, but also pleased. There was a rattling of ice cubes and then a mighty splash, followed by a faintly pornographic noise of relief.

Perceptor went to find his luggage and get an extra layer. It was, after all, only 14 degrees in the room. He explored as he went, taking in the conversation area with its cream leather upholstery and fresh white flowers, the floor-to-ceiling windows that let bright sunlight in despite the chill of the indoor air, and the bright white linens of two king beds. There were mirrors and inoffensive modern prints on the walls, identically framed. There was a desk tucked away into an alcove. Despite its leather inlay and bankers lamps, it seemed intentionally unobtrusive, like an apology for bringing the concept of work into the suite.

The bathroom walls were half wall and half glass, and so Brainstorm's hind flippers and tail, sticking out of the enormous sunken tub, were visible directly from one of the beds. They trailed on the damp marble floor, gleaming wetly in the low light of a table lamp.

"I've put the other bag of ice in the freezer," he said, coming to lean in the doorway. From here he could see that the only reason Brainstorm's flippers were exposed was that he'd buried his entire skull in the ice water. "They did assure me that they could bring up as much ice as you want, while we're here, but there's more there anyway."

Brainstorm's flippers curled and twitched, slapping the floor. Perceptor watched them with interest as they disappeared into the water just as Brainstorm's head emerged. "It's much better in here. I was starting to get worried. I'll be out in a little bit."

He rolled over, sending an ice chip sliding across the floor as his big body displaced the water in the tub. "This isn't so bad."

If Perceptor had not had work to do, he might have given in to the temptation to get on his knees, stick his hands in the icy water and slide his nails through the texture of Brainstorm's fur. Probably Brainstorm would pull him in, and they'd make a tremendous mess, but it was a hotel room—he could warm back up five feet away in the shower.

Unfortunate, then, that he did have work to do. Even worse that he was too responsible to slack off just for this.

"I'm glad," was all he said instead.

This wasn't the kind of place Perceptor could afford on his own. And yet, the grandest luxury still felt like the free and fast wifi. He unpacked the clothes he'd need for tomorrow and set his laptop up at the low coffee table, next to the pale oriental lillies left for them there.

It was only half an hour before Brainstorm seemed recovered from the outside heat. He flopped himself out of the giant tub, dried himself down with three equally enormous towels in deference to the carpeting, and immediately began to investigate every nook and cranny of the hotel suite. This included the bedrooms, the weird little closet that offered an ironing board and steamer, and the minute kitchen area tucked into one corner: a fridge, stocked with tiny bottles of alcohol, soft drinks, a platter of smoked and fresh fish, and still and sparkling water; the two-burner electric stove and tiny sink, and the little side bench where a big black box was set. 'For Our Valued Guests,' read the thick creamy cardstock.

"Am I a valued guest?" Brainstorm wondered, flicking it with his thumb-claw.

Perceptor had already glanced into it and found it contained essentially a gift hamper: loose leaf tea with a strainer, a bottle of truffle infused oil, small batch freeze dried coffee that promised it was a single origin Ethiopian blend, a jar of tapenade, something called garlic salt paste, a six year old shiraz, 200mL of beer verjuice, a little package of artisanal pasta with its packaging all in incomprehensible swirly Italian, several small individually wrapped chocolates in unlikely flavours—orange and ginger, rose and strawberries—and a selection of weird gourmet crackers with labels like 'beets and sea salt'.

Personally he'd have preferred a stock of teabags from the supermarket and a carton of ultra heat treated milk, but Perceptor supposed he wasn't the intended audience for this sort of thing.

"Immensely valued," he murmured now, without looking from his laptop screen. He was, after all. There were twelve new messages about the lecture series. He focused on the same goals with every reply: strong air conditioning, easy vehicle access, security staff briefing, no surprises.

"Oh, there's fish in the fridge! Hmm. Well. It tastes like burning." Clearly Brainstorm had found the smoked salmon.

"They do that on purpose," Perceptor offered. "It's for preservation."

"Do you want some?" A hand appeared in his visual field, dark claws pierced through the oily coral flesh of a slice of smoked salmon.

Perceptor did figure that the fish platter was specifically interned for Brainstorm. He took it off his claws anyway, careful not to cut himself. They went through the soft flesh of the fish with even the most accidental pressure, leaving long gouges.

It tasted like smoked salmon. Oily. Salty. Smoky.

Someone from the university marketing team was messaging him, but Perceptor ignored that in favour of watching Brainstorm rummage.

"Hmm. Hey, what is this? It's a weird shape." Brainstorm held up one of the packages from the gift hamper. "Do you read this?"

"Italian? No, sorry. I don't think anyone we know does."

"I bet someone on social media does..."

Undoubtedly.

He went back to the messages from the marketing person—he was asking about furniture requirements, which was something of a relief, and also about social media which was decidedly not. Perceptor tapped out an answer that he doubted would satisfy.

"Hmm," said Brainstorm. Perceptor looked back to him.

He wiggled the claws of one hand in front of his face, peering thoughtfully at them. Upon each of their sharp tapered tips was now a giant-sized, artisanal elbow macaroni.

Perceptor was struck once again by the pure surrealism of the situation. A hotel room, his work, some silly pasta—and Brainstorm, huge and out of place and not very concerned about it. It was summer and the whole suite was winter-cold and there was ice melting in the bath, like the aftermath of a university-era house party.

Despite being home for the first time in a year, Perceptor suddenly and fiercely missed the arctic circle. So what if it was pitch back?

(He wondered if this was what it was like to have more than one home: was it just missing one place, always, forever?)

While Perceptor watched, Brainstorm examined his own claws and then tapped his thumb macaroni against his pointer finger macaroni with a little tap-tap-tap. "It seems pretty hard. Do they make it like this for crunch?"

He ate the macaroni off his thumb-claw. Perceptor twitched when it did indeed crunch between his flatter back teeth.

"I... no, they're dried for preservation. You cook them in boiling water and they soften as they get hotter and absorb liquid. I doubt you'd enjoy them."

"Huh," said Brainstorm. "Weird." And then he dug his phone out from his satchel and snapped a selfie, featuring his macaroni fingers.

A moment later, Perceptor's phone beeped with the only social media notification he permitted on it.

[fascinationex]

Sealstorm's non-Rewind-mediated social media existence should just start with him showing off weird inventions from his pov, so nobody knows he's a seal.

He's just some weird guy who lives in an Arctic cave somehow and after a while every second comment is "nice gun/spyglass/scanner/fish finder but what the fuck is wrong with your hands?"