#seattle trip 3

[mariacallous]

The Ocean Sciences Building at the University of Washington in Seattle is a brightly modern, four-story structure, with large glass windows reflecting the bay across the street.

On the afternoon of July 7, 2016, it was being slowly locked down.

Red lights began flashing at the entrances as students and faculty filed out under overcast skies. Eventually, just a handful of people remained inside, preparing to unleash one of the most destructive forces in the natural world: the crushing weight of about 2½ miles of ocean water.

In the building’s high-pressure testing facility, a black, pill-shaped capsule hung from a hoist on the ceiling. About 3 feet long, it was a scale model of a submersible called Cyclops 2, developed by a local startup called OceanGate. The company’s CEO, Stockton Rush, had cofounded the company in 2009 as a sort of submarine charter service, anticipating a growing need for commercial and research trips to the ocean floor. At first, Rush acquired older, steel-hulled subs for expeditions, but in 2013 OceanGate had begun designing what the company called “a revolutionary new manned submersible.” Among the sub’s innovations were its lightweight hull, which was built from carbon fiber and could accommodate more passengers than the spherical cabins traditionally used in deep-sea diving. By 2016, Rush’s dream was to take paying customers down to the most famous shipwreck of them all: the Titanic, 3,800 meters below the surface of the Atlantic Ocean.

Engineers carefully lowered the Cyclops 2 model into the testing tank nose-first, like a bomb being loaded into a silo, and then screwed on the tank’s 3,600-pound lid. Then they began pumping in water, increasing the pressure to mimic a submersible’s dive. If you’re hanging out at sea level, the weight of the atmosphere above you exerts 14.7 pounds per square inch (psi). The deeper you go, the stronger that pressure; at the Titanic’s depth, the pressure is about 6,500 psi. Soon, the pressure gauge on UW’s test tank read 1,000 psi, and it kept ticking up—2,000 psi, 5,000 psi. At about the 73-minute mark, as the pressure in the tank reached 6,500 psi, there was a sudden roar and the tank shuddered violently.

“I felt it in my body,” an OceanGate employee wrote in an email later that night. “The building rocked, and my ears rang for a long time.”

“Scared the shit out of everyone,” he added.

The model had imploded thousands of meters short of the safety margin OceanGate had designed for.

In the high-stakes, high-cost world of crewed submersibles, most engineering teams would have gone back to the drawing board, or at least ordered more models to test. Rush’s company didn’t do either of those things. Instead, within months, OceanGate began building a full-scale Cyclops 2 based on the imploded model. This submersible design, later renamed Titan, eventually made it down to the Titanic in 2021. It even returned to the site for expeditions the next two years. But nearly one year ago, on June 18, 2023, Titan dove to the infamous wreck and imploded, instantly killing all five people onboard, including Rush himself.

The disaster captivated and horrified the world. Deep-sea experts criticized OceanGate’s choices, from Titan’s carbon-fiber construction to Rush’s public disdain for industry regulations, which he believed stifled innovation. Organizations that had worked with OceanGate, including the University of Washington as well as the Boeing Company, released statements denying that they contributed to Titan.

A trove of tens of thousands of internal OceanGate emails, documents, and photographs provided exclusively to WIRED by anonymous sources sheds new light on Titan’s development, from its initial design and manufacture through its first deep-sea operations. The documents, validated by interviews with two third-party suppliers and several former OceanGate employees with intimate knowledge of Titan, reveal never-before-reported details about the design and testing of the submersible. They show that Boeing and the University of Washington were both involved in the early stages of OceanGate’s carbon-fiber sub project, although their work did not make it into the final Titan design. The trove also reveals a company culture in which employees who questioned their bosses’ high-speed approach and decisions were dismissed as overly cautious or even fired. (The former employees who spoke to WIRED have asked not to be named for fear of being sued by the families of those who died aboard the vessel.) Most of all, the documents show how Rush, blinkered by his own ambition to be the Elon Musk of the deep seas, repeatedly overstated OceanGate’s progress and, on at least one occasion, outright lied about significant problems with Titan’s hull, which has not been previously reported.

A representative for OceanGate, which ceased all operations last summer, declined to comment on WIRED’s findings.

[limeluvbotz]

havent seen rtc live in months someone fly me out to a production or something Thanks /j

[foofygoldfish]

update: my mom said "forks, really????" and then "i've never been to the olympic peninsula...."

so i guess i'm going to forks in a few years lmao

[fingertipsmp3]

I love how I don’t have my travel insurance sorted yet but for some reason I’m absolutely chill about that. My brain is like “it’ll be fine if you fall down the stairs. God will sort it out. You need summer clothes and a TBR list for your flight though”

[withwritersblock]

Hard Sometimes

~Hard Sometimes by Ruel~ Author's Note: requested, more blurby Summary: Nico had a hard game while away from his family Warnings: none Word count: 966 Nico Hischier x fm!reader

The Devils had just lost a game against the Kraken they should’ve won. They had a three goal lead halfway through the second. Due to two penalties the team took, they went into the third tied. Nico felt like a bad leader, he had nothing good to say in the locker room because his penalty was the reason the game was tied. 

They ended up losing 5-3 and it was safe to say the entire locker room was angry and frustrated with how everything planned out. All Nico wanted to do was go home. Except they had four more games left on the road trip and at least a week until he would get to see his wife and daughter.

They were staying in Seattle for the night and would be traveling to San Jose in the morning. He laid onto his back, his hoodie covering his frame. He pulled his phone towards his face as he began to FaceTime Y/N. He needed to see her face and Lily’s. She answered after the fifth ring, it was very late on the east coast. “Hi baby,” she rasped out. The only light on her face was her phone screen. 

He instantly felt his body relax as he heard her voice. He let out a long breath, “Did I wake you?” he asked. She smiled widely as she blinked slowly.

“You did but you know I don’t care,” she let out as she took a deep breath. He rolled onto his side as he stared towards her. “I miss you,” she mumbled. 

He frowned slightly, “I miss you too, wish I was home,” he let out. 

“The next few games will go a lot better, my love,” she expressed, smiling towards him. He nodded as he shook a deep breath. “Sucks that the games are all starting at ten here. Lily can’t even watch the first period,” 

He took a shaky breath, tugging at the pillow beneath his head. “Maybe that’s why I played so poorly,” 

“Oh Nico, you didn’t play poorly. You scored two goals,” she let out a small pout on her lips. He rolled his eyes as he took a deep breath.

“Took a costly penalty, got benched for most of the third. Those goals don’t matter in a game we lost, my love,” he explained.

“It was one game, I promise you it’ll be better against San Jose. You still played amazing and you were still a good leader,” she mumbled. He smiled softly.

“Hey, can you put Lily on the phone?” he asked, he perked. She furrowed her eyebrows harshly.

“My love, it’s almost one in the morning, I’m not waking her up-”

“Please, baby, I need to see her,” he pouted his lips. She sat up in the bed, staring down towards the phone screen. “I need to hear her little voice,” he asked. 

“You’re not the one that has to deal with her in the morning when she’s cranky,” she countered. He continued to stare towards the camera with a pout to his lips. She clenched her jaw while taking in a long breath. “Fine, you’re lucky you’re cute,” she mumbled as she pointed towards the cameras.

He smiled widely as he sat up on the hotel bed, staring towards the phone screen, watching her shuffled around. She walked into Lily’s room. “Miss Lily, my dear,” she let out as she knealed down beside the bed. Lily stirred as Y/N delicately ran her fingers across her tiny arm. “Do you want to talk to Daddy?” Y/N asked her. 

Lily instantly sat up, her eyes and head still heavy, “Daddy?” she asked. Nico smiled widely once he saw her sleepy features. “Hi, did you win?” she asked, brushing her hand against the hair across her face. 

“No, I didn’t but that’s okay. Wanted to say hi to my baby girl,” Nico said. Lily pouted as she took a hold of the phone from Y/N’s hands. 

“Did you score?” she asked. Nico felt his chest tighten, all he wants is to fly home and be with his kids. 

“I scored twice,” he let out. She gasped.

“Two times?” she questioned holding up two fingers. He chuckled as he nodded. “Nice!” she said excitedly.

“Okay, sweetheart, tell Daddy good night,” Y/N offered, Nico’s smile faltered slightly. 

“Good night,” she said as she stared towards Nico. Nico smiled widely as he kept his eyes on his little girl.

“Sleep good, Lily love,” he mumbled.

“I love you Daddy,” the words left her tiny lips as she handed the phone back to Y/N. She quickly rested her head down onto her small pillow. Every sad thought left his body as he heard those words. Y/N slowly walked out of the room, whispering something twoards Lily. She walked out of the room. 

Y/N stood outside the door, resting her hand onto the doorknob as she stared towards Nico through FaceTime, “Thank you, love,” he let out as he smiled widely. 

Y/N slowly walked back towards their bedroom, keeping her gaze on the phone, “Do you feel better?” she asked him. He nodded. 

“Wish I could kiss you,” he mumbled. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Oh stop it,” she let out, “Don’t make me even more sad than I already am,” she said as she pouted her lips. “Stupid west coast roadtrip,” 

“I know it’s only three hour time difference but it’s awful,” he mumbled, smashing his face into the pillow. “Can’t talk to my girls, like at all.”

“You guys will win the next set of games, I know it,” she muttered. 

“If you let my girl stay up to watch the first period, then maybe we’ll win,” he offered.

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Not happening, Captain,”

[abbystanaccount]

hii! i recently stumbled upon your owen scar analysis where we see most of his scars, and wondered if it was possible for you to the same with abby? :)

Ohhh good idea. The only reason I hadn't yet is Abby only has a couple scars we don't know the origin of, but I can go over every scar she gets!

Abby's Scars Analysis

First, I'll start with Abby's oldest scars, she has a small scar on her forehead and it's the only visible scar on her younger self. Fun fact, Jocelyn actually has this scar and she's mentioned it's from being hit in the head as a kid with a golf club (lol).

Her older model has a similar looking scar on her right cheekbone. I assume she got these either from being hit with a blunt object or a fall, something like that. Her forehead scar interestingly becomes more noticeable as she ages, it even raises a bit in her Pillars model.

Her chin injury from the car crash does not visibly scar in Santa Barbara.

Next is the other visible scar Abby has when we see her in Seattle. Abby is for the most part not scarred much at the start of the game, she gets a hurt shoulder from Jackson and has some blemishes but these are the only scars we can see. (Her bare torso model is completely unmarked.)

There's two small marks on her arms, one more noticeable than the other. To me, the one on her forearm looks semi recent and looks scabbed. They'd come back from Jackson a few weeks prior, so it's possible Abby was hurt on that trip. But I headcanon it more that she was distracted on patrol when she returned and it was a small stab wound, possibly environmental.

One thing that annoys me about these scars though is that in never heals, it looks about the same from Seattle to Santa Barbara.

Now Abby gets some scars after the theater fight. The wounds Ellie gives her is the bite (which heals) and a stab to Abby's left thigh (which she masterfully shakes off lol.) We don't get to see Abby's bare thigh but it's likely that wound scarred.

The rest of the slashes, which seem to be 4 slashes on her arms and one across her left cheek come from Dina. It also seems as though the arm scars are mostly raised and noticeable, while her cheek scar is more subtle and indented like she tried to stitch it and take care of it more afterwards.

Abby’s next batch of scars are from Ellie on the beach… as if she didn’t suffer enough 😒 She gets a slash on her cheek, a slash on the front and side of her torso, multiple slashes on her arms, especially her left arm which she used to block, a deep stab wound in her left shoulder and a stab wound through her chest.

Here I’m showing her post beach fight textures on her Seattle body (the full Pillars body isn’t complete). You can see how deep the wounds are 🙁

I’m thinking she must have rode the boat a bit down the coast and then looked for supplies to help her and Lev before going all the way to Catalina, so she wouldn’t bleed out…

These are my interpretations of how the beach fight scars might heal. You can see some more of that with my various fan arts of TLOU 3 Abby. I drew over the slash placements, and added in the thigh stab and chest stab scar and some other various scratches she might have gotten. I tried to have them look similar to her scars in early Santa Barbara, raised and a bit pink.

Hopefully the Firefly doctors will help her out a lot with the healing of the cuts and the sunburn and she can just chill for a bit 😢

Bonus skins

This new skin isn't canon or anything and neither is the Eighties skin. In that skin you can see Abby's cheek scar under her makeup, which I thought was cool. But the Badlands skin has a brand new scar that goes all across Abby's cheek to her lips. I think this must be a scrape from some sort of weapon that scratched her. The redness on the cheek makes it seem fairly new

[heartsforvin]

DATING VINNIE HACKER

hcs about what i think it’d be like to date vin <3

warnings; slight mentions of sex, boner mention, mention of wanting to have kids, i think that’s all but as always, lmk if i missed anything (:

since vinnie is so well known you two decided to keep your relationship private, but not a secret. fans know he’s no longer single, they just don’t know who he’s dating.

the two of you will post pictures together, but not of faces, just like hands or the back of each others heads , kinda like if you were to soft launch the relationship without actually doing so.

the roommates LOVE you, as you with them. sometimes you love them more than vinnie.

he was so nervous to have you meet his parents and brother, but the minute you stepped in the door you were already engulfed in hugs by all three family members.

when vinnie would skate regularly, he’d take you with to skate with him / teach you how.

sometimes he’ll take you on trips, like if he has events to go to out of the country, he’ll take you with.

since it’s just the two of you in the hotel rooms, you know his horny ass will be fucking you all night.

when you can’t attend the events with him and both of you really miss each other, phone sex is suddenly your guys’ best friend.

sometimes when you’re over at his house and he’s streaming, you’ll accidentally start talking, forgetting that he’s streaming, and the chat will go crazy, asking vinnie who is in his room.

on days where neither of you are busy, the two of you will have a movie day, cuddling each other (hera joins you guys too ofc).

this man has the BIGGEST heart ever, so on holidays such as valentine’s day, he’ll go all out and plan a very cute date for the two of you, giving you the most cute gifts as well.

when you guys go back to seattle together he’ll take you around the city and show you all his favorite places he’d go to when he was in high school.

sometimes you’ll watch him and jett work on the cars in the garage and you can’t help but think of how hot your boyfriend looks while doing so.

vinnie knows you absolutely LOVE his long hair, so when he got it cut a little shorter than usual for the first time while being with you, he was so scared you wouldn’t find him attractive anymore.

“baby, you look so hot.” you’d say to him as you run your hand through his hair. the poor boy blushes so hard his cheeks are bright red.

he also knows how much you love his facial hair, sometimes he’ll shave it just to piss you off.

“vin! why’d you do that, you look so good with it!” you’d whine once you see that it’s no longer there.

when he leaves it for a few days you’ll get so excited, wondering when he’ll shave (you secretly wish it won’t be for awhile).

sometimes you’ll get him all riled up by whispering in his ear while with his friends and say, “better keep that for awhile, i love the way it feels when you’re in between my thighs.”

the poor boy will flush bright red and have to make an excuse to use the bathroom to get rid of his boner.

vinnie is for sure just a bit jealous. when out in public together you guys tend to keep the PDA to a minimum, but when he sees a guy that keeps checking you out, he’ll pull you in by the waist and kiss you, making the guy scoff and walk away.

same with you, you know girls are swooning for the boy, so when you hear a girl try to flirt with him, you’ll wrap your arms around his waist and kiss him.

one day vinnie had walked into his room and saw you cradling hera in your arms, kissing her head and the minute he saw that — instant baby fever.

“let’s make a baby.” he whispered in your ear, you just laughed.

“we’re too young for a baby right now, vin.”

“so you’re saying we can in the future?” his eyes lit up so bright you couldn’t help but smile. you told him maybe.

you would admit that he would make a great dad, he’s already an amazing cat dad to hera.

when your guys’ anniversary comes around he goes all out, getting reservations at your favorite restaurant, taking you out stargazing after, and just putting so much effort into it.

you’ll wear his tshirts so often they basically become yours, but vinnie doesn’t mind, he absolutely loves seeing you in them.

when the newest purgatory drops release, he’s sure to get you free merch for being his girl, and you love him for that.

besides all the sex jokes and him basically having a dirty mind 90% of the time, he’s the most caring and sweet boy ever, you can’t believe you get to call him yours.

he can’t believe he gets to call you his girl either, the two of you are so grateful for each other

first hc post i hope you liked it !! i got a little carried away LOL but as always, requests are open !! <3

[elliesdirtywifebeater]

Desperate

pairing: seattle!abby x immune!reader

CW: oral (r!receiving), degrading, cursing, dom!abby, sub!reader, overstimulation, dacryphilia, fingering, prasing, face riding, description of readers injury.

summary: you and abby encountered an ambush of infected during a patrol, and on your way to safety a runner forced you into hand to hand combat. In the heat of the turmoil you were met with a pretty nasty scratch on your abdomen. once you and abby reached a safe space she patched you up, but so much more happened than what you planned.

a/n: this is my first smut story in like 3 years so i apologize if it isnt that good😭

"fuck that was close" abby mumbled out of breath

"no fucking shit, i almost died" you huffed out as abby sat you down on a couch you guys finally found on the far end of the desolated library.

"yeah well you fucking didnt." she replied with an insolent tone that made you scoff.

"dont act like it wasnt partially your fault, if you knew where we were going this wouldnt have happened. youre so lucky i wasnt anyone else." you mumbled the last bit as you gave her a glance through your eyelashes.

Her only response was a slight mean mug.

"dont make me wipe that stupid look off your fucking face anderson."

"whatever y/n. lets just clean you up so we can get back to base."

Abby reached into her bag grabbing rags, alcohol and tape. "dont move. unless you wanna make this harder for the both of us." she stated and followed along with a smart remark "like you do any other time"

Abby kneeled down infront of you lifting your shirt up revealing a 3 inch long slight gash on your lower abdomen, with it still bleeding abby soaked a rag in alcohol and gently placed it on top of your wound.

you let out a hiss and grip abbys arm, she jolted slightly from the unexpected contact.

sunlight slowly made itself known in the library as it shone through the windows, shining down onto abby with beads of sweat dripping down her face.

Her skin had a subtle tan making her freckles look perfect, her single braid lose and messy as a few strands fell in her face.

the way your admiring her features you completely zoned out, not even feeling the pain of the pressure that was being applied to your aching stomach.

her sweaty rosey skin turned you on, her gentle yet heavy touch as she patched you up, being nothing but mear inches away from her fired you up as you feel your core heating up. just looking at her could have you finish right then and there. hurt or not all you wanted in the moment was her all over you.

as you catch yourself slipping your bottom lip between your teeth you snap out of this trance you trapped yourself in.

"fuck." you mumbled, which earned a mild concerned look from abby. "am i being too rough?" she whispered and looked up at you.

shaking your head you lightly grip your thigh digging your nails into yourself to try and fight away the disgusting thoughts you were creating.

it didnt go unnoticed as she grabbed your hand to remove it "tell me the truth y/n whats goin on with you" she tilted her head to the side slightly awaiting your reply

your eyes meet hers and all you can give in response is a longing gaze that lied within you.

abby rested her hands on your upper thigh which made your breath hitch "abby.." you spoke quiet enough for just the both of you to hear.

"aw y/n... am i making you nervous?" she questioned as her grip grew slightly stronger, causing your face to flush into a deep red.

she inched closer, mocking you as a cheap grin grew on her lips that you desired more than life itself. the things she could do to you with her mouth alone drove you absolutely insane.

you tripped over your own words before being able to speak, "n-no of course not."

the feeling she gave you was something you never felt before, you squirmed in the spot you sat in letting a small subtle whimper escape your mouth.

abbys hands began wandering your figure as she questioned you once more "why dont you use your pretty little mouth to tell me what you really want hm?"

your lips parted as you make an attempt to leave your shocked daze "abby.. please.." you say leaning forward.

abby stood up to hover over you, resting her hand on the back of the couch. she used her other to push a few fly aways behind your ear, then slowly brushing her thumb across your bottom lip.

you heart is racing and its obvious by the way your breathing picks up and how you grip the couch on either sides of you.

"youre so pathetic. already a mess and ive barely touched you." she had an alluring tone to her voice that youve never heard before.

your clit a throbbing mess, you slowly reach down your pants and towards your slit.

abby removed your hand, holding both of your wrist behind your head she shook her head softly. "be a good girl for me and tell me how bad you wanna be touched." she spoke with barely any space between our faces.

"please abby please touch me, i wanna feel good." you whimper out and seconds later you feel her lips crash against yours as if shes been craving this just as long as you have.

abby licks your bottom lip, you allow her to deepen the kiss, soft moans fill up the vacant library.

abby freed one of her hands pulling out of the kiss and grabbed your jaw. "such a fucking whore" she grumbled.

you watched her every move as she sat down next to you. "stand up for me" she stated, and you did just as she said. she sat back and examined you, bitting her lip she sat up and gently grabbed your hips "fuck your beautiful."

you rest your hands on abbys shoulders as she brought you closer.

looking down you notice abby undoing your pants as she began to pull them down. a nervous feeling develops in your stomach.

"abby.." you began to speak and abby looked up at you stopping what she was previously doing "do you want me to stop? " she asked.

"be gentle." you stated before abby continued and commented "i cant make any promises"

as abby slid your panties you looked up to hide the embarrassment in your face. you shivered at the touch of her cold fingers graze your entrance.

"youre already so wet for me baby" her thumb drew circles around your swole clit earning soft moans from you.

you grab a handful of abbys hair as her movements grew quicker "fuck anderson" you managed to spew out between moans.

your body tenses and your legs become weaker by the second as your about to finish. abby notices and pulls her hand away from your heat, you moan out but not from pleasure.

you look down at her annoyed, she meets your gaze as she lays down pulling you on top of her. "ride my face." she demanded.

a wave of shock took over your body as you sat there staring down at the blonde "w-what?" you asked.

"dont act dumb, you heard me pretty." she replied with a menacing smirk on her lips.

"but what if-" she cut you off "dont give me any excuses. just do it." abby demanded once more and you obliged.

you move yourself up abbys frame, hovering over her face with your legs wide open you couldnt believe what was going on.

you take a deep breath but it was then cut off as abby grasped your hips bringing you down onto her wanting mouth.

a loud moan left your body as abbys tongue went to town on your already throbbing cunt. trusting her tongue at a mild pace, her nose rubbing against your clit with every movement she made drove you off the edge.

you began rocking your hips in an attempt to match her rhythm. your walls began to tighten as for a second time you were reaching your climax.

the grip your thighs had around abby had grew stronger. reaching forward you rested your hand on the arm of the couch for support.

"a-abby m'gonna.." your words trailed off as an orgasm took over your body. moaning abbys name back to back as your orgasm softened.

abby swallowing every bit of you cause even more stimulation making your back arch "f-fuck thats enough" you whined out, but abby wasnt finished. she was starving, she wanted to taste you until you were in tears.

she slightly lifted you off her lips as she spoke "im not finished pretty, now why dont you wanna be a good little girl for me and take it." she had a darkness to her voice that gave you goosebumps.

without warning she slamed you down back onto her face and resumed the rapid movements she had moments ago.

your eyes slam shut down as an overwhelming feeling took over your body, your legs twitched and your breathing was heavy.

you threw your head back from all the pleasure, barely being able to get a moan out you were about to cum for a second time.

as your climax hit you were mumbling nonsense, abby was still moving swallowing you. she licked you clean, she needed every drop of you.

tapping your legs she signals you to get up and you do just that, she sat up licking her lips and gave you a look as she leaned over.

"you have no ides how long ive been waiting to do that." she whispered and you tilted your head and let a small smile creep up on your face. "yeah?" you replied.

"yeah." she spoke as she pushed hair behind your ear and placed her hand on the side of your face.

your heart was racing as she pulled you into a deep kiss.

guiding you down she hovered over you using her free hand to reach up your shirt and lightly pinch your nipples causing you to whimper in the kiss.

her cold skin against yours gave you a whole new feeling. you both pull away for air as abby spoke, "god you're amazing" she said quietly.

"i feel amazing." you replied.

you both jumped as you heard someone come in, you quickly stood up and threw on your underwear, pants and shoes in a panic. "shitshitshit why now" you mumbled annoyed.

you sat down as you finished, only for you two to be met with an equally annoyed owen. "where the hell have you two been???" he questioned, but didnt get a reply from either of you "yall should have been back 15 minutes ago what the hell" he stated.

you parted your lips to explain but he cut you off "i dont wanna hear your excuses just bring your asses" he said walking back towards the entrance.

you find yourself letting go of a breath you weren't aware you were holding as abby stood up in front of you. "jesus we've had one too many close calls today" she said with a small laugh. rolling your eyes and turning your head away abby grabs your chin forcing you to meet her gaze.

"i want you to come over later." she whispered, scared of owen hearing. you nod and she gives you a deep kiss in which you reciprocate.

abby pulls away and grabs her bag before jogging to the entrance to meet with owen.

you stand there not knowing how to comprehend what the hell just happened. all you know is that it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[hope-drunk]

- thoroughfare | e. williams

| on the way to seattle, you decide to play a small game with ellie.

| content warning: f!reader, bottom!reader, top!ellie, oral (r receiving), pet names (baby, princess, pretty girl), implies ellie is taller than reader, reader takes dina’s role in the game (sorry dina), hunter and prey kink but not really, barely proofread and i hate this <3

Traveling through the woods with Ellie was more fun than you’d thought it would be. The long stretches on horseback felt like nothing when it was just you two talking. After you had found Jackson, albeit on accident, two years ago, you and Ellie became friends very quickly. 

You two tried not to talk about the trip you were taking. Once she came to you with a location, there was no question in your mind about whether or not you would go with her. So, here you are now. Arms wrapped along Ellie’s torso, enjoying the scenery, and giggling like a maniac at some pun she’s said.

Once the laughter dies down, Ellie helps you off Shimmer, then puts her by a stream.

“We should stop for the night. Get some rest.” she says, taking out her sleeping bag, and a shotgun.

“Okay, yeah.”  you say, following in her stride and getting your own sleeping bag out.

You were in a comfortable silence, setting up everything you needed to have a successful night.

“Do you want first or second shift?”  you asked her.

“I’ll do both, just sleep.”

You scoff at her, “Ellie, if you’re the one getting us to Seattle I think it’s important you get some rest.” She shakes her head at you. “Please, for me.”

Ellie can’t deny the look you give her, your eyes are laced with genuine concern for her well being. It hasn’t been easy for her, and you know she doesn’t like sleeping because it just brings back the memories, but you figure something is better than nothing.

“Alright, I’ll take first shift.” she says, knowing she’ll “accidentally” let you sleep longer than you intend to.

She’s standing now, and your once worried eyes are now crinkled by a smile. 

“Thank you, Ellie.”

“Whatever gets you there safely.” she replies, rubbing the inked fern covering her forearm.

“I’m gonna go look around while there’s still daylight, I need to stretch my legs.” you say, already starting to wander.

Ellie nods her head at you.

You don’t plan to go far, just enough to look at the different wildlife that lives out here. You walk around for about twenty minutes before Ellie calls your name.

“It’s getting too dark, come back.” she says. 

“Why don’t you come and find me?” you yell back to her.

You hear her grumble to herself, and let out a sigh, then you hear the crunch of leaves under her beaten up shoes. This is your sign to scramble. You run behind a tree, one with a large trunk and sagging branches. Peeking out from behind, you find Ellie’s face through the branches. Her head was whipping around for any sign of you. You put your hands over your face, having to stifle your laugh, trying not to give yourself away. When you removed the digits from your eyes, Ellie was gone.

Now it was your turn to whip your head around. Your heart was suddenly racing. You knew she wasn’t in danger, but you didn’t know the reaction she would have to your impromptu game of hide and seek.

You felt hands on your shoulders. “Got ya.” Ellie whispers in your ear.

You gasp and she whips you around to face her. Usually, Ellie had a face that would comfort you. Right now? You were a bit intimidated by her. It felt like she had grown six inches since you saw her moments before. Her eyes even looked darker in this light. You try to back away from her, but you don't get far before you hit the tree that was once protecting you from her. 

“Oh, first you’re hiding from me, now you’re trying t’run?” she says, moving impossibly closer to you. 

The game wasn’t funny to you anymore. Actually, it was incredibly serious, and that was proven by the wetness that you felt pooling in your panties.

“Just wanted to play a game, Ells.” you say, suddenly finding your shoes very interesting.

Grabbing your chin, she says, “Don’t tell me you’re all shy now.” She follows your eyes every time that you try to look away.

For a second, just a second, you thought she was actually mad. But you could see her lips fighting a smile. Leaning down towards you, her nose brushes against yours.

“Tell me you want this.” Ellie says, whispering like you were in a room full of people. 

“I want it.” 

Her lips are on yours as soon as you finish the sentence. The hand that was holding your chin has now moved to your cheek, thumb caressing your face tenderly. Your hips move to meet hers, back arching off the tree. Ellie gets the hint, and uses her spare hand to reach down between your bodies. She undoes your pant button with ease, and shoves her hand into your jeans. You gasp as she begins to rub your clit over your underwear. 

“Oh, Ellie.” you say while she moves her kisses to your neck.

“Don’t know why I’ve been waiting to do this.” she mumbles on your skin.

Stopping her assault on your neck, her hands smooth down your body before she practically rips your jeans and panties down to the ground. Her foot kicks your legs further apart before she drops to her knees in front of you. She runs a finger through your slick folds, humming in approval before diving in to taste you.

She sucks hard on your clit, causing your hand to move to her auburn hair, trying to steady yourself. Ellie sneaks a large hand up your shirt, toying with your nipple. You didn’t think you’d ever be this happy at forgetting to put a bra on. Her tongue was moving quickly through your folds. You look down at her, only to be met by her eyes. 

The moan you let out is almost pornagraphic, and you swear you can feel Ellie smirk into your cunt. Her position on the ground made it feel like she was praying to you, she was worshipping your cunt. 

Ellie comes up for a breath, thumb moving to rub your clit. “Taste so sweet, baby. Does it feel good?”

Your head nods on its own, which only causes Ellie to laugh. 

“Feels s’good. Wanted this for so long.” you say, breathless.

“Yeah? Wanted me to fuck you? How many times did you think about me eating your cute little pussy like this while we were talking, hm? Did you go t’sleep every night with wet panties?”

You let out a moan at her words and nod your head again, but that’s not enough for her. She gives your thigh a quick smack.

“Yes! Yes, thought about it all the time. Oh please, Ellie, wanna cum so bad.”

She moves her head back towards your cunt, eating you out impossibly faster. Your legs start to shake, signaling your approaching orgasm. You’re practically grinding on Ellie’s face at this point, and she doesn’t mind one bit. While you use her tongue to get yourself off, she thinks this may be the peak of her life.

“I’m– gonna…” you try to finish your phrase, but it’s no use. Ellie moans into your pussy, and that sends you flying. 

You’re sure your moans were loud enough to scare any wildlife away from you, and it took you awhile to even regain consciousness. When you did, Ellie was now standing in front of you again, trying to keep you propped up. You slouch into her chest while she rubs a hand up and down your back under your shirt.

“Shh… you’re alright, you’re alright pretty girl.” she coos. 

She pulls your pants up, figuring she’ll have something to clean you up with back with all your stuff. Ellie basically carries you back to your sleeping bag, and makes sure you’re all clean before tucking you in.

“Ellie.” you whine out, feeling her presence move away from you.

“I’ve got first shift, remember? Go to bed, baby. I’ll wake you up.”

You mumble what she thinks is a complaint, before turning over and curling into yourself. It’s not long before she hears your breaths get deeper. Rubbing a hand over her face, she grabs her gun of choice before standing guard not far from your sleeping body.

Of course, Ellie doesn’t wake you up till the morning. 

“I was supposed to take second shift!” you argue.

“You didn’t really seem in the position to keep watch, princess. Swear your legs were gonna give out if you had to stand for longer than ten seconds.” Ellie laughs out.

You turn red and let out a huff.

“C’mon, get on the horse. We can argue on the way.”

[boldlyvoid]

Love Story

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: About a week into knowing her, Spencer knew he wanted to marry her one day. So, for her birthday, at The Eras Tour, he kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring...

Warnings: allusions to sex, stupid couple fights, Spencer spoiling her, roadtrips, food and drink mention, talks of the future (future kids) proposals.

a/n: this fic is for my best friend in the whole worlds birthday. @reidsbookclub, i love you, i hope you have the best time at your concert tonight <3

Word Count: 6k

Set in the Sweet Nothing Universe

He’s been in Reno for 3 months and dating Y/N for 3 months now, too. 

They practically live together now that it’s summer vacation for her. She took on some kids for tutoring, and she sees them a few hours a week whenever they have time. She mostly goes to their houses or meets them at the public library, which is right next door to his work. She brings him in a coffee or a snack whenever she’s in town, they have lunches together and she even stays a little longer in town so she can drive him home afterwards. 

It’s been wonderful. 

Everyone at work knows her, they call her Mrs. Reid as a joke and she thinks it's cute… Spencer, on the other hand, wishes she was his wife so, so bad. It’s way too early to ask her, even if he knows in his heart that she’s the one for him. So he’s waiting. He’s not sure how long he’ll wait. He doesn’t even know if she wants to get married one day. He still has some things to learn about her. 

Her birthday is coming up, soon, he knows that much. He actually learned about her birthday when Penelope was first telling him all about her. August 4th, making her a Leo, the lion sign, even though she’s as gentle as a flower. 

They haven’t planned anything for her birthday yet, it's still a couple of weeks away. He knows she’s told her kids that she’ll be busy from the 3rd to the 6th, taking 4 days just to herself, she wasn’t planning on doing anything. Spencer wants to treat her to something so bad. Be it a nice dinner, a gift she wants or a trip somewhere. So he takes those 4 days off too, he books it in advance with his boss, it’s approved and now he just has to plan something. 

During one of his lunch breaks that she isn’t sitting in on, he takes out his phone and calls up Penelope. Having known Y/N longer, she’s the perfect person to discuss ideas with. 

“Spencer my lovely! What are you doing calling me at 3pm on a weekday?” She answers full of cheer. 

“Y/N’s birthday is coming up, I need your expert advice on what to get her,” he heads right into it, skipping all the niceties, he only cares about her. 

“Taylor Swift tickets, duh!” 

“I tried that months ago, they sold out way too fast,” he complains. “We missed the Vegas show 'cause I obviously didn’t know her in March, all she has left are the Seattle and California shows… but again, they’re all sold out and the resale tickets are insane.” 

“Hey, six grand for 2 tickets with the love of your life is so worth it,” Penelope teases. “I might have a connection to the Inglewood show… maybe I can see if they have any last-minute tickets?” 

“How do you have a ticket connection?” 

“My brother's wife works for Ticketmaster, she said they save some tickets for important people until the last minute and if they’re not taken, they get released to the general public and you can get better deals if you call Ticketmaster instead of going online,” she explains. “I’ll give her a call, I’ll see what she can do.” 

“Okay, call me back when you know more?” 

“Will do, Spence-roo,” she says before hanging up, making him smile. 

—

He goes home to Y/N’s apartment that night, they have a home-cooked meal together and they settle down on the couch to watch something on TV and just relax for the rest of the night. 

She’s cuddled into Spencer’s side watching TikTok on her phone. She scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, barely watching anything for more than 30 seconds and then she stops on one. Spencer can hear the music and the cheering, it’s a tour video. He peeks over to it, watching as someone proposed to their girlfriend in the middle of Love Story. 

She likes it, opens the comments and congratulated them. The next words out of his mouth are barely in his control. They just tumble out. 

“Do you ever think about getting married?” 

She smiles up at him, “To you? Absolutely.” 

He pulls her in for a kiss. She locks her phone and tosses it to the side so she can climb into his lap and kiss him some more. His hands migrate to her hips, and she runs her fingers through his ever-growing hair. Making out with her on the couch, she lightly grinds against him, he hums into the kiss, breaking it to kiss her jaw along to her ear. 

“I’d want to marry you too…” 

She cups his face, staring him down, “Ask me whenever you’re ready.” 

“It’s not too soon?” 

She shakes her head, “No… I mean, people will probably think you knocked me up because of how fast we’ve moved but, it’s been 3 months. We know everything about each other, we sleep beside each other every single night, and I never want to break up with you. The next logical move would be to get married.” 

He steals another kiss, “I think,” he kisses her again on her jaw again, making his way down her neck, “You’re right.” 

She smiles, letting him go down to her boobs, “about people thinking you got me knocked up?” 

He laughs against her, “I mean, we fuck so often—

“No, don’t even joke,” she pulls his attention back to her. “You can’t get me pregnant just randomly, I don’t have enough money to pay for my substitute. You’d have to knock me up so I can have the baby in the summer…” 

He laughs, “You’re not serious, right?” 

“I’m completely serious. I don’t get maternity leave, I have to have summer babies if I want to keep my job.” 

“I have money,” he reminds her. “If we get married it becomes our money, you’d never have to worry about anything ever again.” 

She settles slightly, her shoulders drop again and she stares at him so softly, “I’d still worry, you know me.” 

He kisses her again, reaching up to brush her hair back, “I’m going to take care of you for the rest of your life… and if we ever had kids, you know I’d do the same for them.” 

“Do you want kids, like genuinely?” She asks. “Cause I know you love Henry and you said that you thought about having them with Maeve but—

“I want you to have my babies… whenever you’re ready,” he tosses the phrase back to her. 

That does it, she dives back in for another kiss, heating it up tenfold, he cradles her head and back, leaning down against the couch so he can hover over her. Working the button on her jeans open, he starts to tug on them when his phone rings. He wants to just let it ring, but it’s Penelope's ringtone. He hasn’t changed it, no matter how long he hasn’t worked with her, it’s still the same thing. 

“Hold on,” he whispers, trying to pull away. 

“Leave it,” she tugs him back in. She gets a few more kisses in and then he pulls back further. 

“I can’t, I’m sorry, I have to take this,” he reaches out to grab his phone off the coffee table and walks out of the apartment to take the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, sorry, I know it’s late,” Penelope answers. “But I have good news. We were able to pull some strings and I got you 2 floor tickets for the 4th.” 

“No way?” He’s gobsmacked. 

“Way!! I gave her your information, the tickets are in your name and they’re being mailed to you so you’ll have physical tickets. You can just pay me back.” 

“What was the damage?” 

“they were $1800 each…” 

“That’s a lot better than the resale price,” he’s so glad. “Thank you, Penny, really, she’s going to love this.” 

“Hey, she was my friend first, I’d do anything for her,” Penny teases. “Now go back to hanging out with her, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” 

“thank you, we love you,” he reminds her. 

“I love you too!” And then she’s gone. 

He heads back inside and she’s no longer on the couch. The tv is off, all the lights are out, and she’s retreated back to the bedroom. He knocks before he enters, “Hey… sorry about that.” 

“It’s fine,” she says, clearly a bit upset. “I get it, works more important that me sometimes.” 

“No, no it’s not… and that wasn’t work.” 

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Cause it doesn’t.” 

He timidly walks towards her, “Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have walked out on you like that. I know. But it was important… it’s for your birthday, that’s all I can say.” 

She bites back a smile, looking him dead in the eyes. “Really?” 

He nods, “You still have from the 3rd to the 6th off, right?” 

She nods, “I do… why?” 

“I’ll tell you more when the day gets closer, just, don’t plan anything, I want to make this special. This is our first birthday together, I want to celebrate you.” 

“Okay, you’re forgiven,” she gives in, she rushes over to him and tosses her arms around his neck. “But next time it rings and you’re about to go down on me, it can wait.” 

“It definitely can,” he agrees, picking her up, he tosses her onto the bed. “Let me make it up to you.” 

—

She watches the era’s tour live streams on TikTok every weekend, she favourites outfits that she’d want to wear and she tells Spencer all about the surprise songs that she’d want to hear live one day. 

What she doesn’t know is that Spencer has memorized everything she’s said and he’s been using it to his advantage. He’s found her Pinterest board with eras tour dream outfits, and he’s made a playlist of her favourite songs so he’ll be able to sing along no matter what surprise songs happen. And he’s started to buy tour outfits for himself too. 

He puts a lot of work into her tour outfit, too. It’s midnights themed, he got her a denim jacket with the back panel cut out and replaced with a starry lace pattern. He bought iron on paper and printed out her favourite lyrics to iron onto the arms and put stars on a pair of dark blue Converse. He’s even been making friendship bracelets while on his lunch break at work. He just hasn’t been able to decide on what to get her to wear under the jacket and with the shoes. Nothing seems to be perfect enough. 

He’s walking home from work one night when he passes a window display full of sparkly dresses. He just doesn’t want to get her the wrong size. So he has the bright idea to take one of Y/N's dresses with him to the store to compare sizes. Trying to steal one of her dresses… that’s going to be difficult. 

“I have a question for you,” he asks that night at dinner. “But you can’t ask any follow-up questions or anything, okay?” 

“Alright..?” 

“Can I have one of your dresses to compare to a dress I want to buy you for your birthday?” 

She swoons, “Yeah… or you could take my measurements?” 

“Either way, I just want to make sure it fits.” 

And so that night she gives him one of her favourite dresses. She tells him the size she prefers in different fabrics and he makes a mental note of every single thing she says. 

-

The next day, he brings the dress to work with him, people want to ask questions but they don’t. He makes it through the day, walks out of work with the dress and right into the store he saw yesterday. 

The shop owner clocks him right away, noticing the dress, she thinks he’s making a return. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” 

“I’m surprising my girlfriend with Taylor Swift tickets for her birthday and I’m trying to plan her outfit, too, and the dress in the window is perfect! I brought in one of her other dresses, just to compare sizing so I get it right,” he explains. 

“Oh my god, aren’t you the dream boyfriend?” She teases. “Can I see that?” 

He places it on the counter for her, she takes a look at the tag and holds it up, “I think I have the window dress in this size… what era are you going for?” 

“I made her a jacket in the Midnights aesthetic and her shoes are evermore,” he shares. “The dress in the window is kinda mirrorball-esque, I like it.” 

“You know your shit,” she can’t believe it. “Do you have an outfit picked out?” 

He shakes his head. “No, I can’t decide if I want to do fearless or lover…”

“You could do both, get a puffy Romeo shirt and some pink pants, that would be cute?” 

“Yeah, yeah I like that idea… you know the Lover album cover, the heart she has around her eye? How would I do that?” He asks, he hasn’t had someone to talk to about any of this, so he’s taking a chance and asking everything. 

She’s really helpful, she’s able to get him the dress in the right size, show him where he can get adhesive sparkles for the face, helps him plan his own outfit and even get some accessories too. He spends a fair bit of money in her store and he thanks her. 

“I’m going to bring her back here after the tour, maybe she can get her engagement party dress here,” he suggests. 

“Wait, are you going to ask her to marry you at the show?” 

He nods, “During love story.” 

“She’s one lucky girl,” the shop owner swoons again. She’s overjoyed for them. “If you bring her back here for that I’ll give you a discount, that’s the sweetest thing in the world. I really hope she says yes.” 

“Me too.” 

—

He stole a piece of her costume jewelry when she wasn’t looking, a ring she typically wears on her right ring finger and brings it with him to all the jewelry shops he goes to. Finding a ring that feels like Y/N is hard. He wants it to be perfect, he wants it to be big and pretty and something she’ll show off to everyone. He wants it to be a ring that will stay in style for the next 50 years, he wants it to last. 

He’s looked at a million styles, every colour and cut imaginable… but nothing seems right. He knows the kind of rings she likes from her Pinterest, but even they don’t seem to fit what he imagines for them. This ring is supposed to symbolize their love and their relationship. It has to be perfect. 

He finds the ring on Etsy of all places. It was his last chance to get a ring. There were only 2 weeks until her birthday and he had to make sure the ring was in his possession before they took their trip to LA. 

The ring comes in two parts, one ring for the engagement and the other for the wedding. The wedding band perfectly encompasses the engagement ring, making the main ring look like it has little leaves coming out from around it. 

He gets them in white gold, the main stone is a man-made, oval-shaped diamond and the stones around it are man-made opal, 4 on each side to be exact, shaped like little diamonds. The wedding band also has man-made stones, in green. Together, they look perfect. He has them expedited, he pays the artist top dollar to make sure they’re at his house by August 1st and he prays they make it. 

—

She picks him up after work on July 31st and when they arrive at his house, there’s a package sitting on his front step. Part of him is furious that they just left it, they didn’t leave a drop-off notice and take it back to the UPS store for safekeeping, the rest of him is relieved that it made it. Y/N on the other hand, is nosey. She wants to know what he ordered. She’s curious as to why he didn’t want to open it in front of her, but she doesn’t bring it up again once he hides it in his room. 

They’re in the middle of cooking dinner when she wraps her arms around him, stands on her tip-toes and rests her head on his shoulder to watch him stir around the pan. “Can I ask a question about my birthday?” She pries slightly. 

“Depends on the question.” 

“Do I have to pack a bag or anything?” She asks the first question. 

“Yeah… I got us an Airbnb for the few days we’re taking off work,” he explains, not giving away too much.

“Okay, and what should I pack?” 

“Underwear, pyjamas, comfy clothes,” he lists off a few things. “Makeup and whatever you want to do with your hair… I’m going to tell you what’s happening the day of, you’ll have a few hours to plan for each event.” 

“Each event?” She picks that out. 

He just nods, “You’ll find out more later.” 

“Fine,” she sighs, resting her chest against his back now, she holds him tighter. “I’m going to go all out for your birthday too, you know.” 

“I know… we’re kind of obsessed with each other,” he teases. 

“I think it’s called love,” she reminds him. 

“You’re right… I do love you a lot,” he says as he spins around in her grip and hugs her close, kissing her neck gently. “I love you so much.” 

She hums happily, “I love you too, sneaky man. It’s killing me that I don’t know what’s happening but I trust you.” 

“Good,” he pulls back and cups her cheek. “How would you feel leaving late on the 2nd instead of early on the 3rd?” 

“We can do that, I know you prefer driving at night,” she knows him well. “We can pack after work and leave once we’re done.” 

“I will be packed the day before,” he teases. “I’m not a last-minute man.” 

“Oh, I know, you don’t do anything lightly, but I might need help packing,” she reminds him. “You can help me pick out accessories and shoes to match whatever you got me.” 

“You think I didn't get you shoes and accessories? Have you seen me?” He teases, that’s one thing she loves about him. He’s always matching.

She just laughs, “Of course you did.” 

—

Spencer walks from his apartment to hers with 2 suitcases, one for his own things and one just for their eras tour outfits. He has her second key fob, so he unlocks her car when he arrives and puts his things in the backseat and heads up to her apartment. He knocks once but ultimately lets himself in. “Babe?” 

“Bedroom!” She calls back, letting him know where she is. 

“Hey…” 

“So I’ve played out a bunch of outfits, what ones will be good for what you have planned?” 

“Anything is good, I have your outfit for the main event planned, the rests are dinners, brunches and us driving to and from California.” 

“We’re going to California?” She can’t believe it… but then she clues in. “Oh my god, Spencer, why are we going to California?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know, you tell me?” 

“I’m going to lose my mind if we’re doing what I think we’re doing,” she explains, rushing to his side, she places her hands on his shoulders, “I’m going to go nuts.” 

“I have no idea what you’re referring to…” 

She can’t believe him, she just hugs him and holds him there, “Oh, you’re so cute when you try to lie to me, I love you so much.” 

“I love you,” he hugs her back, kissing the top of her head. “Now, hurry up and pack, we can check into the Airbnb after 10pm tonight, if we leave now we could be there by midnight?” 

And so they pack her up, they check the apartment to make sure everything is off and all the widows are closed and they head out. She locks the door, he brings her suitcase down to the car and she lets him drive. He’s a lot more comfortable on the road at night, he takes them out of Reno, down Highway 695 towards Carson City. They see Bridgeport, Willow Springs, Mammoth and Crowley Lake, Big Pine, Independence, Long Pine and then they stop for gas and a snack. He drives from Long Pine to Ridgecrest and then they pass through Mojave around 11:30. 

They’re in the home stretch now. She knows exactly what’s happening when they go through Santa Clara.  She can see on their GPS that by taking the 405 south they’ll end up in Inglewood in just a few minutes. 

He got them a cute little Airbnb just a stone's throw from the stadium, they’d be able to walk to and from if they wanted to. Once he parks outside of it, she turns to him with tears in her eyes. “How did you manage to do this?” 

“Penelope,” he says with a smile. “She knows someone at Ticketmaster, they got me really good tickets for the 4th. I bought you an outfit, I made myself one, too… I know how badly you wanted to see her so I made it happen.” 

“You really are the man of my dreams,” she swoons. “Thank you.” 

“I’d do anything for you,” he reminds her. Meaning every word. 

“I know… now let’s get all our shit inside so I can give you a proper thank you.” 

—

They spend their first day there just looking around. They have brunch at a cute little spot she’s always wanted to try, they visit the National History Museum and Exposition Park. It’s a lovely day where they just get to hold hands and be together. They order dinner to their Airbnb and eat while watching TV and then they spend another night in bed together. It’s perfect. 

When they wake up on the 4th, Spencer smothers her in kisses and wishes her a happy birthday… they don’t leave the bed for a while after that. 

He orders her breakfast and while they’re waiting for it, he shows her the outfit he has picked out for her. The dress, her jacket, the shoes, a cute little clear purse for the stadium and a lot of sparkly makeup options for whatever she wants to do. 

“Spencer, this is perfect?” She’s amazed by it all. “How did you know?” 

“I found your Pinterest,” he shrugs. “and you always show me cute outfits on TikTok, I took a lot of inspiration from what I knew you’d like and your favourite songs to make this… and these,” he pulls out a ziplock bag full of bracelets. All handmade. All perfect.

She spreads all the bracelets out on their bed, and she reads each and every single one. He has sent titles, lyrics and abbreviations, even quotes from Taylor that he’s memorized from how many times she’s watched Miss Americana on her days off. “Spence, how am I going to part with these?” 

He shrugs, “Don’t trade your favourites? Maybe leave any special ones here?” 

“Yeah, I guess I could do that… I can’t believe you went through all the trouble of making these just for me, seriously, when did you have the time?” 

“On my lunch breaks,” he laughs to himself. “I had no idea what I was doing and then Keesha, our undercover girl, showed me how to make them better.” 

“Everything is perfect, Spence,” she stands and wraps her arms around him, holding him close. “This is going to be the best night of my life.” 

She really had no idea. 

“I was thinking we could maybe go get our nails done,” he says as she pulls away. “We don’t have to be at the stadium till 6, I think it would be nice to get some eras nails done? I might even get some colour?” 

“Yeah, that sounds amazing!” She agrees, not thinking anything of it. 

He really just wants her to think her nails are pretty when he slips the ring onto her finger later tonight. 

He already made the appointment with a local nail salon for 1pm, giving them enough time to head back to their Airbnb and get ready for the show and maybe even get something to eat before they go. He’s such a planner. She loved every second of it, it made her less stressed to know that he already knew everything that was going on and he was confident about it too. 

He gets his nails done as well. He’s always wanted to but never had the chance to. He gets just basic gel while she goes all out with a shorter acrylic shape, she gets sparkles and stars all in the 10 different album colours and she loves them. She keeps staring at them the whole walk home, she loves how they sparkle in the light and how pretty the shape makes her hand look. 

The ring is going to look even better on her hand now. 

They shower together back at their place, Spencer watches in awe as she does her hair and her makeup and it’s not until the end that he hands her the adhesive sparkles and asks her to help him put the lover heart around his eye. 

“What did you plan for your outfit?” She asks while carefully sticking each sparkle to his face. 

“I got some bright pink pants, like, highlighter pink, bright,” he smirks. “I also bought a puffy shirt like Romeo… I wanted to go for Lover Story.” 

She laughs, “Oh you’re going to look good.” 

“I also bought cowboy boots…” 

“You didn’t,” she can’t believe it. “What colour?” 

“Pink.” 

“Oh my god, Spence… really?” 

“well like you said Lover and Midnights go together like they were planned to be back to back and you’re my other half so I wanted us to match… and then I’m partly fearless which came after Evermore which is on your shoes, so, it all matches.” 

“I love you,” she cups his face gently, “like it’s insane how much I love you.” 

“It’s not insane. It’s the perfect amount,” he teases, pulling her in for a kiss. 

—

She doesn’t know they have front-row seats until they’re at the stadium getting their tickets checked. The best part of her reaction at the gate is that she thinks this is the last surprise… she’s so overjoyed with the thought of being that close to Taylor Swift that she can’t even fathom him proposing tonight. 

From all the Tiktok's that she’s watched since March, she knows that the best time to go to the merch stands isn’t before the concert. It’s during. So, on their way to their seats, they simply buy some overpriced drinks and trade a couple friendship bracelets before heading towards their seats. She looks around with her mouth agape, amazed at how big the place is and how much of the stage takes up the floor. 

At their seats, she shakes her head and lets out an exasperated laugh, “I can’t believe you got these?” 

“Only the best for my girl,” he teases, wrapping his arm around her, he brings her in and kisses the top of her head. “I love you, Happy birthday.” 

“I love you,” she smiles up at him. “Thank you for this, really. I’m going to thank you a million times.” 

“You don’t have to,” he waves it off. “I wanted to come too, you know, she’s a big reason we’re together in the first place.” 

“If only we could tell her thank you,” she laughs. 

“We should’ve made a sign,” he teases. 

“We should’ve…” she agrees. “Maybe I can just put big text on my phone and hold it up to her?” 

“That could work.” 

So that’s what she does, sitting in her seat, waiting for the opener, she drafts a few things to say while the stadium starts to fill up. 

It takes a while before someone behind them actually shows up. Spencer worried there for a moment that the seats behind him didn’t sell and thus part of his plan for tonight would be ruined… but then a couple girls, in their teens, show up just before HIAM comes out to play. 

Spencer takes something from his pocket, pretends to reach between their seats to the floor and turns back to one of the girls. “Um, I think you dropped this,” Spencer says to the girls behind them, he hands them a note and a $5 bill. Y/N watches him hand it back to them and then turns right back to watching the openers play. 

“Oh thanks,” the girl says with a smile. She opens the note and her eyes widen as she reads it. 

‘Can you please record me and my future fiancé during love story? I have an important question to ask her and I want to remember it forever.’ And his number at the bottom. 

She looks at Spencer with her eyes full of tears and nods, mouthing “I can do that.” 

He gives her a thumbs up and turns back to watching the show. HAIM are a band he’s heard Y/N play before, he’s surprised how many words he knows just from being around her. They’re amazing and he knows that because they’re on the tour now, that means their song with Taylor has been added to the setlist. He really likes that one, even if it is about premeditated murder. 

He knows the setlist like the back of his hand. It starts with Lover, the intro is a remix of all her eras names over top of the song Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince, the dancers wear these big sheets of fabric, peacocking around the stage and then they cover the middle of the main diamond stage. Once they lift the sheets back up, however, Taylor emerges onto the stage and the crowd goes wild. 

He’s seen the show on Tiktok live so many times that he’s okay with missing it in person, instead, he watches her. He watches the way she stares at Taylor like she hung the stars and the moon herself. Like she’s some sort of god and everyone here is blessed to be in her presence. She cries, shaking her head in disbelief, she chants the words back to her and doesn’t even realize Spencer has been staring at her the whole time. 

“Look how close she is,” Y/N bumps his shoulder and points. “She’s literally right there.” 

“I know,” he smiles, so in love with her he couldn’t even pay attention to Taylor. 

When Cruel Summer starts, she screams so loud, Spencer’s sure she’s going to lose her voice tomorrow. He finally starts paying attention to the show now. Singing along, he knows all the words. He actually really loves this song. And the man. He loves everything from Lover simply because he’s so deeply, deeply in love. 

Post-lover, Taylor heads in for a costume change and thats when Spencer starts to feel anxious. He’s 2 songs away from his big moment. He checks his pockets, he still has the ring, in its box staying safe, it’s right there and ready to go. He almost blacks out for most of Fearless, he snaps back into it for You Belong With Me and the first note to Love Story gets his heart beat racing a million miles a minute. 

He looks back at the girl behind him who has her phone out already she smiles at him, nodding like she’s ready to go and he takes a deep breath. Taylors walking down the catwalk, she’s going to be literally right in front of them when he gets down on one knee… he doesn’t think she’s seen a proposal this close and in person yet on this tour? Maybe she’ll notice them? 

He sings along, genuinely loving the song and it steadies him a little. Y/N is singing too, jumping up and down and pointing at Taylor during all the best parts. She’s having the time of her life… she has no idea what’s coming.

The second chorus comes and he reaches into his pocket, he’s holding the box in his hand and his heart is in his throat. 

“And I got tired of waiting… wondering if you were ever coming around, my faith in you was fading! When I met you on the outskirts of town!” Y/N sings along. “And I said Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone I keep waiting for you but you never come is this in my head I don’t know what to think, he kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and—

She notices then that he’s dropped to one knee, following the song, he holds open the little black box and she screams. Everyone in their section is screaming. “Marry me, Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone I love you and that’s all I really know!” Spencer sings along to the song.

She’s frozen, can’t believe this is happening and real but she looks at the ring and then at him, her eyes full of tears. “Yes!!! Yes, I’ll marry you!!” She gets down to the ground with him and pulls him into a kiss, he smiles into it, happier than he’s ever been in his whole life. 

When she pulls back he takes the ring from the box and slides it onto her ring finger. He helps her back to her feet and all she can do is stare at it. “Holy shit?” 

“I love you!” He shouts, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I want to love you forever.” 

She pulls him into another hug, not even noticing that Taylor did see it. She pointed at them, she got excited and there was footage of it from a million different angles that she’ll get to see later. She finishes the song, running back to make her mark and then she disappears once again to get ready for Evermore. 

Y/N snuggles into his side, her left hand resting on his chest, she keeps pulling her hand back to look at it. There’s just enough quiet between eras that she asks, “Where did you get it? It’s beautiful.” 

“Etsy,” he says with a smile. “It was on my doorstep the other day when you came over.” 

“No way?” She laughs, “how long have you been planning this?” 

“Since I asked you how you felt about getting married one day,” he admits. 

She stands on her tiptoes and leans in for another kiss, “I Love you.” 

“I love you,” he reminds her. “Forever and always… but I actually mean that.” 

She laughs, “god, you really are the number 1 fearless stan, aren’t you?” 

He’s about to reply when the girls behind him poke him in the back, “Hey!” They both turn around. “I texted you the video and my friend got the other angle of Taylor's reaction!” 

“She saw it?!” Y/N freaks out. 

They nod, freaking out with her, “Yeah!! She pointed at you guys and she was so happy!!” 

“Holy shit!” Y/N shouts for the second time. “This is the best day of my fucking life, how does it keep getting better?” 

“I don’t know man, but congrats!” The girl says. “You guys are so cute together.” 

“Thank you,” they say at the same time. 

She looks at him this time like he hung the stars. If you told him just 4 months ago that he’d find the love of his life and get engaged to her at a Taylor Swift concert of all places, he would’ve laughed… now he can’t imagine his life going any other way. 

This is where he was always supposed to be. 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @babybisexual @marsmunson86 @buckleyhans 

[ladykailitha]

Sweet Home Indiana Part 7

That last chapter things were starting to look up, and here things keep getting better until they don't.

Then it's going to be rough until the happy ending. Just a heads up if you need to be prepared for the sads.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6

****

Eddie ran into Steve at the Hideout on Thursday night. And this time he was without his friend or his guard dog.

He had settled at the bar with a single malt whiskey and a heavy heart. He hated that he would have to leave this all behind come Sunday, but Seattle was home. Not Hawkins. Not anymore.

Steve walked in looking like a teenage wet dream. He had his floppy hair styled so that there was little curl in the middle of his forehead. He was wearing a white and navy blue striped polo shirt with the buttons undone and the collar flipped up. His jeans were darker then when they graduated school, almost as dark as the blue stripes on his shirt. The fit was tight and showed off Steve’s other best asset.

It made Eddie’s mouth water and he drained his glass.

He was about to pay his tab and go back to his hotel when Steve spotted him and gave him that little dorky finger wave of his.

Shit.

Eddie waved back and Steve came trotting over.

“No Buck today?” he asked, trying not to trip over his words.

Steve shook his head. “She’s fussing about what to wear tomorrow and after three hours of her trying to decide between two identical shirts of exactly the same color, I booked it and came here.”

“Wise choice, man,” Eddie agreed. “Chrissy gets like that some times too. She’ll claim one is rose and the baby pink and I can’t tell the difference.”

Steve laughed and nodded. “Sounds about right only Robs is trying to decide between navy and midnight blue.”

“Didn’t figure the Buckster would be one for pink,” Eddie said sagely.

“Oh she likes it just fine,” Steve said with a grin, “on other girls.”

Eddie laughed and shook his head. That sounded about right.

Steve looked over at the full pool tables and then around the rest of the bar. He turned back to Eddie. “You want to play a round of darts?”

Eddie half shrugged. “Why not? I’d have to borrow someone’s set. You can’t exactly take them on a plane these days.”

Steve’s grin was back and he trotted over to the end of the bar. He spoke briefly to someone and then came back with two sets. He handed one to Eddie and opened up the other. It was the set Eddie had got him for his school graduation. They weren’t expensive but they were well made and if the worn velvet around the darts were any indication, well used.

He looked down at the black box in his hand and then back up at Steve. “There’s no way.”

“You’ll just have to open it and find out, huh?”

Eddie opened the box and let out a choked off laugh. There nestled in the red velvet were his old black and red darts.

“How do you still have these?” he whispered. “I thought I lost them.”

Steve shrugged and cocked his head. “You’d leave them here at the bar so they wouldn’t get banged up in your glove box. So after you left, I had Terry hold on to them in case you ever came back looking for them.”

Eddie nodded and then hopped off the stool, leading the way to where the boards were hanging. He let Steve go first and they ordered a round of beers, though they really didn’t drink much. They’d learned that lesson at their ‘reception’ when they accidentally landed a dart on then Officer Callahan and he screamed like they were trying to murder him. If Hopper hadn’t stepped in he would have hauled both of them to jail.

It hadn’t even broken the skin.

It was fun and Eddie felt better about their ‘date’ tomorrow. Because that’s what it was, that’s what everyone was calling it. Even Robin had warned him that if he fucked this date up, they would be finding pieces of him up and down the interstate for years.

He believed her.

****

Steve was waiting by the entrance to the fair grounds chewing nervously on his thumb. Robin whacked his hand out of his mouth.

“You’re making me nervous,” she hissed. “You’re supposed to be the calm one.”

He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets with a heavy sigh. “I know we’re not getting back together. I can’t expect that, but...”

“He’s not the giant ass he was when he rolled into town?”

He nodded and she rubbed his back gently. “Look, there’s Vickie. Will you be all right?”

“I don’t really have a choice, but yes I’ll be fine.” He took a deep breath and let it out slow.

She nodded and linked arms with Vickie. They went to go pay for their tickets and left Steve to his whirling consuming thoughts.

He didn’t have to wait long before a sleek, black rental rolled into the dusty parking lot. It really stood out amongst the pickup trucks and hatchbacks.

But then so did Steve’s old Bimmer. Yeah it was older, but it was still a high class car.

Eddie popped out of the car and Steve was impressed to see that he wasn’t in all black. He had dark blue jeans on, but wore a red t-shirt that had some logo on it. Over it was a denim vest with all his pins and patches on it.

It wasn’t the first one he’d made, Steve still had that one, but it was so Eddie that Steve’s heart began to pound heavily against his rib cage, like a beast trying to get free.

Stop it! He thought to himself. Move on. This is the farewell tour. The final encore. The last bow.

Eddie ran over to him and smiled. “Sorry I’m late, Stevie. Someone gave me the wrong directions and I had to look it up on my phone.”

“That’s fine,” Steve said. “Let’s get going.”

Eddie paid for their tickets. It was the least he could do for having caused Steve to shut down Sweetie’s Treats because of a dumbass mistake.

They rode the rides and Steve won him this giant orange bat with googly eyes at the basketball hoops, that Eddie immediately named Dio.

Steve laughed and shook his head.

They went on more rides and ate funnel cakes and deep fried Twinkies.

Then Eddie spotted it. It was big brown eye puppy with droopy ears at the High Striker game.

“I’m going to win that puppy!” he said excitedly, tugging on Steve’s sleeve.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You do know those things tend to be rigged, right?”

Eddie turned around, his expression mischievous. His eyes were hooded and he ran his tongue slowly over the top of his teeth. Slowly.

Steve gulped. He didn’t know what Eddie had planned, but it sent that thrill down his spine that used to be because Eddie was about to ravish him. And he didn’t think that was the context here.

He watched as Eddie went up to the man in charge of the booth and paid him the five dollars.

Eddie hefted the hammer like it was a child’s toy and the heat slid down Steve’s spine to pool in his gut. Fuck was that hot.

Eddie made a couple of practice swings testing the weight of the hammer.

“You going to swing that thing any time in the next century, play boy?” the carnival worker snarked.

Eddie smirked back and swung the hammer down on the pad. The metal ball hit the bell with such force that the bell didn’t so much ring as it did gong. Everyone around them stopped to see what the hell that noise was.

To see Eddie leaning on the hammer like some, smug Norse god. The booth operator let him pick two of the big prizes so Steve got the brown-eyed puppy and the grey, stripped tabby cat.

“Bobbie and Sweetie?” Eddie suggested, naming the two animals after Steve’s shop and his best friend.

Steve nodded, burying his face into the warm, soft plushies. “Thank you, Eds.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

They had put the animals in the trunk of Steve’s car for safe keeping and were sitting on a pair of hay bales watching as the sun set and the lights of the carnival came on.

“Thanks for today,” Steve murmured. “I’d say it more than made up for that shitty special delivery.”

Eddie cackled. “Yeah, that was my big dumb mistake. I told her about you, because of course I did. But I–I couldn’t talk about what you really meant to me, because then I would have tell what an absolute coward I was.”

“And then I forced the issue.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” he murmured. At Steve’s bitchy expression he laughed. “I wasn’t being sarcastic, honest. I needed that kick in the ass.”

Steve smiled and bumped their shoulders together. “You’re welcome I guess.”

Eddie looked up at the stars that were starting to appear in the sky. “You don’t see this many stars back in Seattle.”

“No,” Steve said softly. “I don’t suppose you do.”

Eddie ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I was happy in Seattle, Stevie. I was. But I came back here and this fits too.”

Steve gently took Eddie’s hand and squeezed it tight.

“I think I’m more in love with you then when we were stupid kids doing messed up things,” he continued unhappily.

Steve laid his head on Eddie’s shoulder and sighed. “You don’t have to marry her. Stay here with me.”

Tears slipped down Eddie’s face as he shook his head. “I have to. I can’t tell you why. I’m not being blackmailed or coerced, I do love her. But god, I love you, too.”

Steve wrapped his arms around him and held him as he cried.

****

Steve chuckled as he helped a very weepy, and very clingy drunk Eddie up to his hotel room. He had even gotten the help of a nice porter to help get him into bed.

He took off all the jewelry. The pick necklace, the leather and chain bracelets, the earring, his belt, and his rings.

Steve stopped when he was half way through removing the rings. Yes, they weren’t married yet, but if there was a ring that Eddie would have given a fianceé it would have been his mother’s ring. The ring he always wore on his right hand. But there it was, still on his hand. Moved to the pinkie now. But still.

He took it off last. He held it up to the light. The band was a little worse for wear, but the gemstone still shone brightly in the dim light of the hotel lamp.

Steve set it down with the rest of the jewelry, making sure it was right on top. He took out Eddie’s wallet and keys and set them next to the hotel key. He picked up the hotel key, feeling the weight of it in his palm.

He smoothed Eddie’s hair and then he made his decision. He quietly exited the room and told the porter and front desk that Eddie left his wallet in his car and that he was just going to get it for him.

Robin was waiting for him.

“Are you really going to do this?” she asked, voice cracking as if she was holding back tears.

Steve let out a shuddering breath and then nodded.

He was back down in mere minutes. She held out her arms to him and he crumpled in her embrace. She held him as he sobbed and sobbed.

Robin looked up at the hotel where Eddie lay sleeping and wished she could hate him in that moment, but found she couldn’t.

She pitied him. Something she never thought was possible. She bundled her best friend into the passenger side of his car and drove for home.

The further away she got, the more her heart broke.

For both of them.

****

Tag List: Nine Slots Remaining

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @ravenfrog @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @mac-attack19

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95

7- @blackpanzy @amazing-spiderkeys @oldpinghai @raisedbylibrarians @kultiras

8- @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steddie-as-they-go @captain--low @micheledawn1975 @thespaceantwhowrites

9- @blondie1006

[beautifulfuckup99]

May you please write a Yoongi imagine, doesn’t matter what the premise is, I just want a fluffy husband Yoongi<3!!!🫶🏼

Sure Thing!

Title: I've Got It From Here

Rating: G

Warning(s): Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Yoongi's Accident, Talks of PTSD, Anxiety, and yes there will be FLUFF.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy! Keep the requests comin!

************************************

He doesn't know what triggered it, really. Maybe it was sleeping on it wrong? Maybe it was the cold weather of Seattle, where he was touring currently? Maybe it was performing so hard every night?

No matter the real cause, this morning Yoongi woke with a stiff shoulder and a tightness in his chest like he usually got when experiencing this pain. It's like with the pain came the memories, came the flashbacks of the tire...

Yoongi shuts his eyes, wanting to push the image away. Days like this convinced him that he, indeed, was not over the past. But he had to be. For the fans, for the sake of the tour, and more importantly, for you.

You had finally gotten a free schedule to come visit your husband on tour and Yoongi would be damned if this trip was ruined by his damn shoulder. Damnit.

And so, with a deep breath, and slight wince, Yoongi got out of bed and proceeded to get ready to meet you at the airport.

********************************

It's all a rush of cameras and screaming fans and the flash, God the flash. It was broad daylight, why the hell did they need the flash on?!

And then as quickly as it's all too much for him, it becomes background noise the second your arms wrap around him. And he bears the pain so he can hold you back as you laugh in pure delight at being back in your husband's arms.

"God, this feels good..." You laugh happily as you snuggle more into his chest, kissing his shoulder softly as usually, and Yoongi bites back a soft hiss.

"Tell me about it..." He sighs softly as he puts his face in your hair, breathing in your scent with a deep and full whiff. You'd never know how much he needed this. Needed you. He felt calmer already.

"Let's go! I've been looking forward to this for weeks!" You laugh as you hold his arm while bouncing towards baggage claim. Yoongi stiffens and shuts his eyes. You pause instantly. "Baby?" You ask in concern.

"I-I'm good." He says fast. "Didn't get enough sleep last night." He says. You'd been hard at work these past few months while he's been gone. This was your vacation. And he was not going to ruin that. He could take it. He could endure. The smile on your face would be worth it.

********************************

As soon as you're settled in the hotel room, you're dragging Yoongi around the hotel and find a display of activity brochures. You gush over the different restaurants, museums, and live concerts they have this week. You playfully hold up a 'Folklore Concert in the Park' pamphlet. "Maybe you'll get inspiration for the next album..." You joke and he smiles a thin lipped smile.

"Maybe. Do a whole country folklore album. Hat, boots, and horse." He teases along and you giggle as you nudge him. He holds his arm when you're not looking and when you gasp, he straightens up.

"Festival! Winter Festival! Happening tonight. We can go, right? It's ok?" You ask hopefully as you look up at your husband with the same big eyes that always get him.

He looks you in the eyes. Getting lost in them was better than any coping mechanism. You were the best distraction and anxiety reducer. How could you not know how much those eyes meant to him? He finally hums. "I think we can stop by, look around..." He gives in softly.

"This is gonna be the best vacation ever!" You giggle and hug him tightly. He squeezes his eyes to stop the tears. "I love you!" You giggle and he lets out a soft sigh. "I love you..." He whispers.

****************************

Later that evening, you're led into the Winter Festival that was taking place at some park by a river. Families, couples, and groups of friends of all ages are running around. Christmas lights adorned the trees, and the freshly laid snow on the ground looked like something out of a movie.

You're wearing a casual outfit with your sweater and one of Yoongi's leather jackets with fur inside of it on top. Layers were the most important thing in the winter, so you didn't mind the wool hat and scarf you were nuzzled in. Yoongi holds your hand to the best of his ability, but the cold weather and the heavy winter coat was not helping. And the scarf around his neck felt like a noose.

And, oh my god, was he breathing? When was his last breath? This coat was so damn heavy. He couldn't focus on what you were sayin-wait. You were speaking?

He finally blinks, trying to focus on you as you joke about the huge inflatable decorations. "They'd look good in front of our place. Of course, I think if we ever posted our house looking like this, Taehyung would be the first to mock us for it." You giggle as you enjoy the 'Winter Wonderland' aesthetic.

Yoongi hums and you eye him a bit. Something was wrong with your husband. You could feel it in your heart. He'd been quiet the whole day. Barely eating, barely laughing. He was deep in his own thoughts. Something that only happened when he was either thinking of a new song, or when his anxiety got really bad.

You grip his hand a bit firmer to try and ground him, but he barely reacts. You finally move in front of him and stop, causing him to bump into you. He curses at the suddenness, and you watch him in concern.

"Yoongi..." You try as you make him look at you. "I'm fine." He says fast. "You want... Decorations." He says to prove he's been paying attention, but his voice comes out in soft pants. His skin is pale, his lips are trembling, his eyes show the panic in his head.

"Baby. Stay here, I'm gonna get you something to drink." You say fast before you walk off, pulling out your phone to check the time and to see if you could text the driver to come around for you two.

You're busy on your phone and Yoongi watches you walk away but is thrown further into his panic when he sees a black car swerve around the corner to enter the parking lot. The same parking lot you were about to cross to get to the refreshments table.

Flashes of that day runs through his mind as he takes off after you. "Y/N!" He screams in horror. You stop in your tracks and turn fast to face him with wide eyes. He grabs your arm and yanks you out of the street as the car full of teenagers speeds past.

"What is the matter with you?! You didn't see that car?! It could have-" You cut Yoongi off as you try and get him to focus, but he continues his panicked rambles. "I won't lose you. I won't lose you." He repeats fast, over and over again as you grab his face hard.

"Baby!" You say finally and his bottom lip begins to quiver a bit as he looks at you. His walls, his prideful stubbornness, his 'don't worry about me' attitude... it all crumbles down right in front of your eyes. You stroke his cheeks gently. "What's wrong, baby?" You whisper as tears slowly slide down his puffy cheeks that are pink from the cold.

"It hurts." He finally admits and your heart breaks as the realization dawns on you.

"I've got you, baby..." You sigh and carefully pull in his 5-foot 9 frame like he's the smallest thing. "I've got you..." You sigh as you nod at security to lead you two away.

****************************

"Ah... Ah... Ow!" Yoongi groans as you focus on putting some muscle relaxer cream on his shoulder and then wrapping it, so the lidocaine cream doesn't get anywhere else.

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've really made the pain worse..." You whisper as you carefully lay him back on a pile of pillows to hopefully help him rest.

"This was supposed to be your vacation..." He whispers and you sigh deeply. "If you weren't already hurt, I'd hurt you for being so dumb. This was our vacation. And it's not a good one if you're in pain. Marriage is a give and take game, Yoongi." You say.

"Yeah, 50/50..." He mutters and you roll your eyes. "No. Not 50/50. Sometimes it's 70/30. Sometimes it's 40/60. But the whole point of this arrangement is we take turns. You're always all in. Give me a chance to show I can be the 80 in this relationship and go down to 20." You say as you stroke his hair out of his face. He shuts his eyes at that.

"I don't want you getting tired of carrying me around..." He whispers and you stroke his soft skin before leaning in. "These shoulders can carry whatever your shoulders can't. Gladly. Any day of the week..." You whisper as you gently nudge your nose with his.

He looks into your eyes, his eyes teary. "You're not there anymore..." You whisper, knowing where his mind was. He closes his eyes, saying nothing, but nodding along.

You play with his hair a bit more and watch as he slowly starts to relax. "Rest, baby. I've got it from here..." You promise gently as he drifts off to sleep.

*****************************************

Hope you liked it!

[guildwuff2]

Did some portraits as practice for friends! thanks for letting me borrow your nerds <3

if you'd like a commission like these, hmu on ko-fi! i'll be doing a limited run of these to pay off a car repair bill and fund a little trip to seattle pride at the end of the month 🏳️‍🌈 each one costs a base of $40 and has a pretty quick turnaround!

[seeminglydark]

Been inspired lately to think of origins of the ufo keychain. John usually has it, but I drew a piece of them as teens where Caro has it when they bought their car. Where did it come from? Who does it belong too? But it’s always been a fun little thing I hide in many of my pieces, and ever since @fidgetspringer actually cast and made me my very own, it’s on my mind a lot. The reason I draw it in the first place is because I had a friend who was very special to me and helped me discover my gender identity who had a tiny arcade prize ufo on their pink fjellraven backpack, and it was incredibly nostalgic to me, cuz you can’t find them anymore.

Maybe its origin involves a day trip to Seattle, a boy who’s embarrassed he doesn’t have any money to get a birthday present for his sweet little friend, and a sweet little friend who happens to think arcade prizes are especially special when won for them by their favorite person in the world <3

[lowkeycasanova]

catching up

plot: you run into Vinnie after breaking up 3 years ago

masterlist

——————————————————————

Take out bag in hand from the pick up counter, focused on nothing and no one as you walked through the restaurant as you ordered an Uber to go back to the Airbnb.

But there he was, and he recognized you as you walked past each other. You didn’t even realize.

“Y/N?”

You nearly tripped over your own two feet and almost bumped into someone upon hearing your name called. You step aside and with a confused expression, you turn around to the direction of the voice.

“Vinnie.” You breathed out.

Before you could even process what was happening, he walked up and pulled you into a hug. Closing your eyes, you hugged him back.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” He said and pulled away. “You look amazing.”

“Yeah, so do you.”

He’s definitely filled out since the last time you saw him. He had more muscle, he grew out his hair, it was also more of his natural color, his previously bare hands were covered in tattoos and you knew he had more, and you swore he got a tad bit taller.

“God, it’s been a while.”

You pursed your lips. “Three years…”

*Flashback*

"What do you mean you're going to LA?" you asked him in disbelief.

"I just think this would be a good opportunity for me."

"You make random videos for fun. It's not a job."

"Not yet, but who knows, I could make a career out of this."

"Since when do you wanna be some entertainer? You've never mentioned anything like that." you argued back. "But that wasn't the plan. We're supposed to be going to college together. I was so happy when we both got accepted, but now you spring this on me a month before school starts?"

He sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, but having contacts out there could help push my modeling. And maybe I could get into acting. I've always wanted to try that."

"Again, you never mentioned that."

"Well maybe I kept my mouth shut because there would be no opportunity like that for me here in Seattle!" He raised his voice in frustration. "And now, I have it and I wanna take it."

You felt the tears forming in your eyes and tried to keep yourself together. Part of the reason was that you were just such a perfectionist, planning for things in the future, and when they don't go as planned, you don't know what to do.

Also, to you, it wasn't wise of him to just up and go. Sure, having one million followers was impressive, but, so what? Plus, he didn't have that much money. He's just hoping it all works out.

Vinnie left two days after his 18th birthday. You couldn't believe he actually got on that plane. No, you didn't like it, but you accepted it for what it was.

"So, how's school going?" Vinnie asked.

You two had moved over to the side of the entrance doors and leaned against the wall so you wouldn't be in other people's way.

"Um...you know, going into my last year. It's exciting."

"Still interior design?" he asked.

You nodded.

"So, what brought you to LA?"

"Um, just took a trip with a friend before school starts up again."

If Vinnie was disappointed that you didn't reach out to him upon arriving, he didn't show it.

"What would your major have been? If you stayed?"

"Mathematics and physics. But I'd probably still be an electrician on the side with my dad."

Talking about his what ifs made the memories come back.

*Flashback*

Just hung up the phone after talking to Vinnie. You sigh in disappointment.

He called to let you know that he wouldn't be able to come to the annual homecoming game on campus due to some photoshoot he had to do.

You tried to not let it affect you. It was just a football game. And Vinnie was seemingly starting to do the things he really wanted, so you wanted to be supportive of that.

It was then when you felt a shift in the relationship.

Putting on a happy face the day of the game, you ended up dressing up with your friends, decked out in purple and white, while sending pictures and videos to Vinnie.

He came back and visited for a few days before going back to LA. You were so consumed with school and wanted to focus on that.

There was one moment when you were up late doing homework. You began thinking about what it would be like if you finished up your first semester at the University of Washington and then transferred to Cal State or some school out there to be closer to Vinnie.

It was when you were reviewing the transfer requirements at UCLA when you thought, what the hell am I doing?, then exited out the website.

That wasn't what you wanted.

Vinnie was started to blow up at this point. It was hard to miss. And it was evident that you two started to talk less. You tried to make the effort. He'd been a bad texter at certain times but it was never frequent. You hated the possibility that he was somehow ignoring you but it only got worse when you'd see him in the media out with his new friends at restaurants and rumored to be dating this girl or that girl.

You wondered how he had time to talk to them and not you.

It got to a point where you'd drop everything when Vinnie did get back to you.

One day you got a call from him.

"I don't know if I wanna do this, Y/N. I just wanna come back."

Had he told you this a few weeks earlier, you'd would have no problem convincing him.

"Vinnie...you've only been out there for a short amount of time. As much as I'd want you to come back, I think you should stay a little longer. And if things still continue to not work out, I already know your parents would let you move back in. Stay and do the best you can."

He didn't say anything, only sighed on the other end.

You continued. "And to be honest, we should both be doing our own things individually."

"...what do you mean?"

You bit the bullet and told him that it would be best to break up. Thinking about it, but didn't want to say it because the two of you had grown so close. But y'all needed to do your own thing right now. You perceived the call from him as him holding back from striving to do his best in LA because he was tied down to a girl in another state. Vinnie obviously didn't want it, but he knew it was inevitable.

As you two continued to talk, a black car drove up and parked in front of the restaurant.

“Oh shit.” You said and looked down at your phone. “That’s my Uber. I gotta go. And I don't wanna gold you up from whoever is waiting for you inside."

“Oh.” He said and you could tell he was trying to hide his disappointment. "I'm the first one here. Just coming with friends. But sure, of course. Hey, maybe we could, hang out or something tomorrow. If…you want to.” And he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

You raised a brow. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’d love for you to meet my friends and see the house.”

He hoped he didn’t come off as bragging with that last part.

"Yeah, sure, I'll come."

He smiled. "Alright, cool." and he pulled you into a tight hug.

***

When you got back to the Airbnb, you told your friend about your run in with Vinnie and the invitation to go to his house. You'd known her while you were dating him, so she knew the story.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked.

You shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Okay as your friend, I don't think you should go. I mean sure it'll be nice for a second, until we go back to Seattle and he stays here and you're back to where you started."

This was definitely going to open up old emotions. Oh well.

The next afternoon, Vinnie picked you up. He said he hoped you hadn't changed your mind.

When you arrived at the house, you noticed quite a few cars in the driveway and felt hesitant.

"I didn't know you had so much company. I could've came another day."

He chuckled when he realized why you said that. "These belong to me and my buddy Jett."

“Oh.” You smiled.

“We buy them and try to fix ‘em up.”

Vinnie opened the door up for you, allowing you to go in first. You smiled at how beautiful and lively it was. He told you his roommates were his best friends, but he also had other friends come over a lot.

You stood beside Vinnie and he introduced you. He wanted to have everyone’s attention. They stopped what they were doing to come and meet you. You didn't know where to look, trying to greet them. His friend, Jack, told you that Vinnie had mentioned you'd be here.

Vinnie told you to make yourself at home and you got comfortable on the couch in the living room, admiring all the instruments that were there. His friends Josh and Adam are sitting on the spot across from you. You started to get to know them, laughing as they're pretty funny.

Vinnie makes his way over, silently observing you, happy that you seem to be getting along with everyone. He always loved that about you.

"You guys better not be talking about me." Vinnie's voice catches you off guard.

"Oh we definitely were." you answer back. The boys laugh and someone else comes and grabs their attention for a moment.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Vinnie asks, his fingertips barely grazing your shoulder.

"Yeah, sure."

You got up and follow his lead. He gives you a tour of the house on the way up to his room.

"Nice picture." you said, referring to the big frame that had his head and his cat's heat photoshopped onto it.

Speaking of Hera, she came up and purred against your leg like she'd known you forever.

"Oh thanks." he laughed while simultaneously trying to make the cords from his gaming setup look less chaotic. "My mom got that for me as a Christmas gift."

Maria.

You had gotten close with his family too. You two spent time at each other's houses a lot due to not being able to go to the same high school. After the breakup, his parents and younger brother still followed you on social media, but you hadn't spoke to them in person. It hurt that you had also lost your second family.

He motioned for you to sit on the bed next to him and you did. He seemed like he was trying to get his words together.

"Honestly, to start it off, I wanna tell you what went down as far as moving out here."

He looked at you, as if asking for permission to continue. You nodded.

"Um...I know that you felt this disconnect between us and you said it would be best for us to do things on our own. You were right. I was being distant...but it wasn't because I didn't love you anymore, I was just going through a really rough time. I mean, I was in two houses over the course of four months and before I moved into Hype, I almost didn't have a place to stay. I was nearly broke because I wasn't making money off my content yet. And I just...didn't know what I was doing or where I was going with my life at the time."

Your face fell as he told you this. You felt so bad. Guilty even. That the break up was while he was going through all this stress. Like a final nail in the coffin.

"It's not your fault." he said as he noticed your expression and put a hand on your shoulder. You just looked at your hands in your lap. " I don't blame you at all.

"I should have really asked you if you were doing okay."

"I would've lied about it. I didn't tell my parents, you, or my friends. I just kept everything inside and I distanced myself from you, my audience, some of my friends, and I started saying rash things online. Just becoming someone that I wasn't. I realize now I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to somebody, anybody about it. So that's my fault.

"I'm really sorry. And I'm sorry for how things were handled between us."

"Don't be. I think I needed to go through that. If not, I probably wouldn't be where I am today."

You felt tears forming in your eyes and wrapped your arms around him and he embraced you back.

"You deserved to know. Thanks for hearing me out."

"Of course. I'm so proud of you."

You two eventually pulled away and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Hey listen, I'm not saying we jump right back into something, but....I broke your trust, and I'll like to earn it back, If you let me."

"So, what are you saying?" you ask, searching his face as if it had the answers.

"I just wanna be in your life again. As your friend. I want to get to know you now, and for you to get to know me now. And see where it goes from there."

You looked at him in silence, feeling butterflies as he was looking at you.

"Okay." you said, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah?" he begins to smile and you nod.

He pulls you into him again. "Thank you. I won't mess this up."

[since0202]

Taking Time—Fifty Four

Home is a person

Word Count: 12,959

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Abortion (I will bracket where it starts and ends in an obvious manner so you can avoid if needed <3).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every step home has felt right so far. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been away for so long, but it feels like something has changed or shifted. And as I get closer, that feeling only gets stronger. Now, as I sink into that undeniable warmth, it’s hard to think otherwise at all. Soft, warm breath spans gently across my hair and I reach for the warm body nestled next to me. It must be Paul. How he knew I was here, I’m not sure, but in the halfway point between sleep and wake, I’m not sure of much. The soft body grunts and rolls closer to me, making soft sounds that lull me deeper into sleep. I want it always to be like this: sleepy mornings, just peace, before the sun cracks me open like an egg and burns me from the inside out. 

Maya rolled toward the low rumbling groan coupled with that hardy warmth she’d come to know so well when she was home. Paul was so soft. She ran her hands up and down his sides to a pleasant smacking sound coming from his lips. She burrowed closer for warmth, still in that holy toss between dreaming and awake and felt his warm breath flow over her hair. It almost felt wet. Maya inhaled a deep breath savoring his smell only to be met with a warm mildewy scent of dried fur and the forest. He must have only just phased back from rounds and the smell of his wolf form simply clung to him. It didn’t matter. Maya leaned her head up and was met with the his soft, warm, wet lips. Really wet. He kissed and dampened her entire face with his mouth, his tongue. 

Maya leaned back and groaned her dissent, but the onslaught kept coming, possibly even more eagerly than before, until her entire face was coated in saliva. Paul really had it coming. Maya’s face twisted into a grimace as she opened her eyes, only to be met with the towering dark frame of Leah’s german shepherd. 

“Blegh!” Maya managed before the dog continued with vigor to her dismay. She braced her arms across his chest and tried to push, but the thumping of his tail wagging only seemed to make him stronger as he continue to cover Maya’s face in fervent licks with delight that she was awake. 

Maya heard a laugh from the door before Keye said,”Yodel, that’s enough. Come here!” Yodel immediately hopped off the bed and hurtled toward Keye, standing at attention at her feet with his tongue lolling to one side. Keye dropped her hand to stroke his head affectionately, “I thought we said no more kissing dogs after that trip to Seattle when Becks convinced that forty year old bouncer she was old enough to get in by her expertise?” 

Maya rubbed her dog-drenched face on the pillow before rolling over and beginning to rub her eyes, “I remember that being you, not Becks.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Keye replied lazily as if the thought hadn’t occurred to her until now.

“Come on, Leah’s making breakfast,” Keye stated from her place leaning up against the doorframe. As she plodded away softly, Maya heard Yodel following her dutifully down the small hallway to the kitchenette.

“Okay, but you still have a lot of explaining to do,” Maya called after her as she sat up and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. She didn’t even attempt a glance at her phone. The soft, gray morning light of Seattle pulled her eyes toward the window and Maya let out a soft sigh and let the day breathe her in.

Leah’s apartment was bright and airy. The kitchen and living room sat in a lofted space with high ceilings that allowed large industrial air ducts to span it. The bright beach wood of the rafters above seemed to capture light and sprinkle it down across the warm butcher block island where she was preparing another omelet, this time for herself, after making one for Keye and Maya. They tucked in around the island on carefully crafted wooden bar stools that Maya had a sneaking suspicion were the handiwork of her boyfriend. Maya peered over shoulder to look out the floor to ceiling narrow windows covered in a gauzy, white curtain. The living room was a collection of well loved, mismatched furniture pieces, all softened by time and use. 

Maya hadn’t fully recognized the neighborhood they were in when they drove in but she wondered how close they were to Paul’s workshop. Leah was laughing at Keye as she exclaimed how she’d never thought to add spinach to an omelet, or any vegetable to any dish for that matter, when Maya zoned back into the love fest unfolding before her. 

“You need to eat more vegetables, I keep telling you, or you’ll never be able to hold up a bike at a stop light. Even a little one,” Leah’s face was all sunshine. She tore off a piece off her omelet and handed it to a waiting Yodel at her feet. 

“She’s got a thing for bikes,” Keye hummed around a bite.

“I do not,” Leah tried to bemoan, but it only came out as soft embarrassment, her neck flushing with a hint of pink. That was hard to dispute considering Leah’s apartment was stationed above a bike shop. Her bike shop in fact. 

“Crotch rockets, some call them,” Keye quipped, shooting Maya a gleeful look.  

“Stop,” Leah replied breathlessly with a laugh, “They’re not called that.”

“She rode up on one to Seth’s wedding, what was I supposed to do? Not fall in love with her?” Keye goaded, shooting a bright smile in her direction. Maya lit up at this—she wanted to know everything about how Leah and Keye met, how the imprint happened. 

“So, it was at Seth’s wedding then?” Maya leaned onto the counter, trying to quell her excitement. Leah looked down at her omelet with a soft smile as if just recalling the memory overwhelmed her with joy. Keye blushed and shoved another bite of gooey omelet in her mouth. 

“Yeah, it was at Seth’s wedding,” Leah started softly, “Gah, I still can’t believe that little twerp is married. I swear I was helping him with his homework only last week,” she shook her head, still lost in her moment of nostalgia. 

“Uh, I’m pretty sure you were helping him with his homework last week, babe. You guys were debating the merit of classic authors still being considered the classic norm in a postmodern world in this very kitchen.” Maya giggled at that and Leah looked up at Keye with such soft eyes that Maya thought she’d explode on the spot. Keye held her gaze for as long as she could before blushing and looking back down at her omelet, playing coy while continuing to eat. 

Oh, so it was that kind of imprint. 

“Yes, we met at Seth’s wedding,” Keye continued for her after a few bites as Leah started cleaning up. Keye launched into the story like it was well known and been written down for years. 

She said it was instantaneous. Much like Maya and Paul had, Leah and Keye and locked eyes and that was it. But most of the guests had been distracted and the pack was thoroughly drunk on special Quileute brewed beer so no one was really paying them any attention. No one had even really realized, except for Keye and Leah. They had sat there and stared at each other, across the dance floor for a cool minute or two. It could have been eons for all Keye knew. 

Leah’s face, which had been schooled in a cool complacency for most of the night as she muscled through her baby brother’s wedding, had shifted to something bright and surprised. Breathless, she had strode across the dance floor in her pale cream suit, sparkling under the carefully hung lights as she weaved her way through couples. Her eyes never left Keye’s and Keye had stayed glued to the spot, her heart beating wildly. Nothing would stop Leah from getting to her, and as she startled to a stop in front of her, Keye let out a loud exhale as if breathing again for the first time. 

“It’s you,” Leah had said, so surprised yet relieved, “It’s you. Y-you…you are so…you’re my—,” 

“Keye,” she interjected, relieving the stuttering Leah. She held her hand out somewhat awkwardly, but it had felt like the only thing she could do. “I’m Keye,” she said again. 

Leah slipped her hand into Keye’s, not shaking it, but just holding it there for a moment before threading her fingers purposefully through hers and nodding. “Yes, you are.” Leah’s whole face brightened into one of incandescent happiness as light tears shone in her dark eyes. Keye was on the verge of losing it and letting this wave of joy rush over her and spill from her tear ducts. 

There she was.

Shortly after, Keye skipped town that night with Leah and sealed her fate. She just disappeared. No one even realized she was gone, and her parents just thought that she went back to campus early. Leah was prone to disappearing spells, so there was no connection made there either apparently. 

Maya’s head swum up out of the story and looked over at Leah who was leaning against the sink with her hands outstretched next to her, smiling softly at Keye. 

“And after I moved in, I took this semester off—” Keye continued after a moment.

“Wait what?!” Maya snapped out of it and jerked her head toward Keye, her eyes wide with shock.  

“My, come on,” Keye groaned, “What is it with you and school? It’s not that big a deal.” Keye said half heartedly. 

Just because Maya had a vice grip on school didn’t mean everyone else needed to maintain that level of intensity to make school an important part of their lives. Just look at what it did to her and Paul. She willed her body to relax as she shook her head, glancing quickly at Leah for any back up and finding none.

“No, no,” Maya tried backpedaling, controlling the features on her face to remain impassive, “I just mean, I didn’t realize! I should have realized.” 

Keye leveled her with an expectant stare, a small smile on her face. Maya was trying to keep her lips clamped shut so she didn’t ask the question she really wanted to ask. 

After about thirty seconds though, Maya burst: “But why though?!” 

So much for self control.

Keye couldn’t help but throw her head back and laugh. Leah looked on with a bit of concern on her face. 

“Sometimes, things just work out that way, My. But don’t worry, I’ll go back and finish up,” Keye proclaimed, “Just for you.” 

Maya smiled and shook her head. That soft concerned look was still pulling at Leah’s features as she continued to watch Keye carefully. 

Maya spent the day putzing around Seattle with Leah and Keye visiting some of their favorite local haunts. They even stopped in a few local bookshops and let Maya wander for as long as she liked. She discovered some old chemistry books that she fell in love with and was thoroughly brightened despite the low hanging clouds over Seattle as they walked down hidden side streets. 

The three grabbed lunch at a little sandwich shop not far from Leah’s bike shop. When Keye got up to use the bathroom, Maya casually stayed behind to Keye’s chagrin. Leah was trying to stuff the butt end of her meatball sub fully into her mouth, sauce dripping down her chin in an endearing way as she hunched her shoulders over the low table. 

Leah had been pretty tight lipped about her estrangement from the pack but now that Maya had her alone, she wondered if without Keye’s constant frown whenever the pack was brought up, she could ask her about it. 

“What?” Leah said around her mouthful. Maya hadn’t realized she had been staring, marveling even at this intensely, wonderful woman who had captured Keye’s heart and taken care of her best friend so completely. 

“Nothing, sorry, I—” Maya stumbled and ran a hand through her shaggy hair, frizzed by the gentle rain they had walked through to get here. Maya exhaled through her nose trying to gather her thoughts about how to ask but instead, Leah spoke: 

“You’re sure you want to go back?” Leah chewed valiantly and Maya couldn’t help but let her mouth hang open a bit in surprise. That wasn’t…. “No offense, but you seem torn. And I never try to make hard decisions when I’m on the fence.”

Maya closed her mouth abruptly and shook her head to try and clear any confusion that Leah could see in her eyes, “No, I…I need to go home. It’s time to go home. Not forever, but..just for now.” 

“Tortured him enough, then?” 

Maya’s eyes shot up to meet Leah’s in shock, but that feeling quickly faded when she saw that gleam of mischief in Leah’s eyes. She hadn’t meant it the way everyone else would have. 

“I guess,” Maya shrugged. “I do miss him, though.” That was an understatement.

“Of course you do,” Leah tucked back into the table scavenging chips from Keye’s plate. “Regardless of what you know, and regardless of what you feel, the imprint should always show you true north,” the sound of crunching chips perforated Maya’s concentration, “Or so they say.” 

“What do you think then? About the imprint, I mean, now that you have it?” Maya challenged. Leah took a moment, always thoughtful, never rash in her conversation. Just clear and true and decided. 

“I think the imprint is different for everyone. So if anyone tries to tell you what to do with it, you should take that with a grain of salt. Listen to what it says to you, trust that,” Leah shrugged. 

Maya paused at that and really tried to let that sink in. Everyone had tried to tell her what the imprint was meant to do, what it was based on legend. But it had been hard between her and Paul since the beginning. Some parts were easy, when they were just together and there was nothing else, but most other things were hard—harder than the other imprints at least. So much so, that Maya and Paul had wondered for a while if there was something wrong with them. 

“I will say though,” Leah’s voice suddenly turned serious. Maya met her eyes and was taken aback by the sheer intensity at which they bored into her, “While I don’t know how your imprint works, I do know Paul.” Maya gulped, “And I can say without a doubt in my mind that he loves you with every cell in his body.” 

Maya let out a sigh. She knew that of course and so she could only say as much, “I know.” Her voice came out hoarse. 

“But he’s also a bit of an idiot. Emotionally, I mean. The guy was abandoned by everyone when he was a kid and then was swallowed by anger for most of his adult life. He’s only found his way through in maybe the past five years. That’s still no excuse for how he’s been with you, but still. That man comes with baggage and I do not envy you that task of unpacking it all,” Leah brushed her hands together to get off the excess crumbs. 

There wasn’t enough that Maya knew about Paul’s past. He’d told her the basics, but she’d gotten more information about Paul’s dad from her own mother and that was a wobbly source. 

“Speaking of members of the pack,” Maya said quickly, “do you think you’ll ever come back to the rez?”

Leah let out a gentle laugh and shook her head, “Not unless they need me.” 

“Do they not need you now?” Maya quirked an eyebrow. Leah once again leveled her with that intense stare.

“Cute girls are always too brave for their own good,” Leah leaned back and stretched her arms behind Keye’s chair just as she slid back into it. 

“You guys can stop talking about me now,” Keye said dramatically as she shook her hair away from her face. She shot Maya a knowing look to which she rolled her eyes. 

Leah leaned forward just enough to kiss Keye’s shoulder and said softly, “Never, babe.” 

------------------------------------------

—-<<Trigger warning: mentions of abortion in this next section>>---

Maya and Keye cuddled up in the guest bed that Maya was sleeping in with a laptop between them that night watching an old 90’s vampire movie. Leah had disappeared downstairs into her shop to get some work done. 

As one of the main vampires looked out over a burning city, Keye readjusted her head on Maya’s shoulder as Yodel let out a soft sigh at the end of the bed. Somehow, it had felt like no time had passed at all. 

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Keye asked softly. Maya stared at the screen as she tried to reconcile her worry into something else. 

“I think so,” she breathed in and about before continuing, “It feels like the right time to go back. I don’t know how to explain it.” 

“True north,” Keye muttered softly. 

“Jesus, you guys really are in deep, huh?” Maya joked and Keye giggled. 

“I don’t know, probably. She was there for me when everyone was either busy or gone. I don’t think that was the imprint either, she just…knew I needed her and she stayed,” Keye was quiet. Maya’s heart rate picked up as she realized her mistake in shutting everyone out. Even if Keye had said that she had understood why Maya did it, she knew she had hurt people who didn’t deserve it for the sake of her own peace. Keye, and a lot of others deserved more than that. 

“Keye, I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have stayed in contact, I know that. It all just felt hard and this was easier. But I shouldn’t have done the easy thing….not when it comes to you or Becks,” Maya scrunched in closer to Keye. 

“It really is okay, My. I get it. I disappeared too, you know. Just…tell us next time.” 

“I promise,” Maya breathed. “But I don’t plan on disappearing again. I didn’t even mean to fully disappear before, it was just….easier that way. But it wasn’t fair to your or Becks, so I promise.”

The vampire on screen looked wide eyed at the little girl who was drinking from an older woman. She looked so small, so innocent. Her too-young youth, eternally frozen in time. 

“I have to tell you something,” Keye breathed, her voice hitching at the end as if she was unsure. 

“What?” Maya said softly, looking down at the side of her face. Keye sat up and Maya turned toward her, realizing that her face was pulled tight with pain. “What is it?” she reached for Keye’s hands that were clasped tightly in her lap but pulled back when she flinched slightly as if being touched might be too much at the moment. “Are you okay?” 

“I am..I am. I really am. I need you to know that I am okay going into this,” Keye’s voice wobbled slightly as she sat up straight, before leaning back against the headboard. 

“You’re kind of scaring me, Keye,” Maya said slowly as she pressed pause on the movie and sat up too, crossing her legs in front of her and turning her whole body to face Keye. The looks that flitted across her face were hard to read but as Keye bit her lip, Maya knew this was something more. 

“I…” Keye began slowly, her eyes on her hands that fidgeted in her lap. Maya leaned over and covered both of her hands with her own. Keye swallowed hard, tears forming at the corner of her eyes but never falling before looking up at Maya. 

There was silence, strong and solid between them, and Maya just let it hang there to give her the space to say what it was she needed to say. 

“I left the rez because something h-happened,” Keye’s voice was quieter now and Maya listened carefully as soft rain started to patter on the windows above the bed. It was another few moments before Keye continued, “Colin and I were still dating and we were…things were going okay.” 

A cold feeling slid into Maya’s stomach, but she held her breath to keep from thinking the worst. 

“He and I were…well it doesn’t really matter, but things were going well and it was like…four days before Seth and Sadie’s wedding and I wasn’t really feeling good. Just kind of off you know?” Keye took in a breath and Maya heard the sound shudder through her, “And I…I thought that maybe I was…Fuck,” Keye wiped the tear that had escaped from the corner of her eyes and coasted down her cheek. 

“You were what?” Maya asked softly, concern laid plainly on her face. Keye tilted her head and gave Maya a knowing look as she frowned. Maya waited. 

“That I was pregnant,” Keye hiccuped softly and Maya let loose the breath. 

“Oh.” The word came out small and barely there. Just above a whisper. Keye stared down at her hands again, playing with the tips of Maya’s fingers. “Were you?” Maya prompted gently, leaning her head down to capture Keye’s eyes. 

Keye shut them tightly and the tears fiercely rolled now as she nodded. 

“Okay, okay,” Maya looked over her shoulder toward the door wondering if Leah knew…if she knew Keye was… Her gaze flitted over Keye’s body to try and discern how far along she was, but she looked entirely the same. “How far along are—”

Maya was cut off by Keye shaking her head slowly, as hot tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Maya furrowed her brow, confused. Everything was coming at her so fast and she was just trying to piece every part of the puzzle together but felt like she was missing information. When realization dawned on her, her eyes widened with sadness, “You lost it…” she breathed. “Oh, Keye—” Maya reached out to stroke her shoulder, scooting closer but Keye stopped her. 

“Not exactly.” Keye said, wetly. She swallowed hard and forced herself to sit up straight. Her eyes were harder now, and through the tears Maya thought she saw Keye watching her carefully for any reaction that would make her shutter completely. Maya’s mouth hung open again in momentary confusion before she said even softer, her breath barely a whisper, “Oh.”

She blinked rapidly as it all sank in. Of course. Maya kept her face neutral, soft, and open as she watched Keye watching her. Keye’s eyes flicked all around her face, trying to scan for any disapproval, or upset, and that made Maya worry that she had encountered some judgment from her circle. 

Maya reached out and grasped Keye’s hand softly in hers and gave her a soft nod, “It’s okay, Keye. That’s totally your decision.”

But Keye was silent, watching her as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maya let the air hang between them a moment longer before she said, “Do you want to tell me about it?” Keye grimaced. “Or tell me why?” Keye crumbled slightly at that. “Let’s start with an easier question… And you don’t have to answer anything at all if you don’t want to. But, I want you to know that any answer you do give is enough reason and enough justification for the decision you made.” Maya dipped her head to meet Keye’s eyes. Only then did she see her gaze soften with trust again. “It’s enough,” she reinforced. Maya tried to emphasize that love with her eyes as well and held Keye’s gaze. 

When Keye finally nodded, sagging with relief, Maya scooted closer so that their knees were touching, “When did you find out?” She wiped gently at Keye’s tears. 

“Just after I met Leah…Like I said, I hadn’t been feeling great up until Seth and Sadie’s wedding, but after I met Leah, it was like I needed to know, you know?” Maya nodded and just let Keye go. 

“I drove out of town to get a pregnancy test. That whole fucking tribe has eyes everywhere you know and I didn’t want to risk it getting back to…well, I bought three and I was in a fucking gas station bathroom in Beaverton with a full bottle of gatorade just…waiting for what felt like forever,” Keye stopped then and gulped down air. 

Maya was pushing her hair out of her face and stroking her thumb over her hand. “And then it was like…everything stopped you know. It was real…three times it was real. And I….I panicked,” Keye was looking around the room now, the guilt just absolutely pulling her in different directions. “I didn’t want anyone to find out. At least until I could just think for a bit you know. You know how they are about babies, if they had gotten wind that I…and it was Colin’s? No way, game over.” 

A fresh sob broke through Keye’s chest. She opened her mouth a couple of times to speak and couldn’t so Maya let her breathe through it, allowing her the space to continue or stop. But she carried on as if she needed to say it out loud, “I knew I didn’t want it, My. And I just felt….bad. I felt bad because, I don’t know…fuck I don’t know why should I feel bad, you know?” Maya just nodded. She understood guilt like that. “I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I couldn’t go back to the rez. And so I…I called Leah and she came and got me, no questions asked.” 

Thank god, Maya thought. Thank god for Leah, because Maya could just see herself so clearly mirrored in this same situation. She was so grateful that her best friend had someone like Leah to come and protect her the way she needed to be protected. 

“It took me a week to tell her. And she was just…ugh,” Keye reached for a tissue next to the bed and blew her nose before saying, “She was just perfect, you know? She knew just what to say and what to do and…” Keye’s eyes sparkled for a moment as she looked at Maya. Maya couldn’t help but give her a sad, knowing smile back. 

“Yeah, yeah, imprints are great,” she joked, rolling her eyes before squeezing her hand. Keye smiled sadly, looking down at their joined hands. 

“She told me that whatever I wanted to do, it was the right decision. And that I didn’t need to tell anyone if I didn’t want to, because it was my body. She was just…there. All the time for me. I-I don’t know if I could have done all this without her but…she held my hand through it all and I…” Keye looked up at Maya, her eyes sure and firm now, “I don’t regret it.” 

Maya shook her head, “You shouldn’t. That was your decision, and I still love you just as you are.” Keye smiled, bigger this time and nodded. 

“Still fucks with me though,” she said, resigned. 

“Yeah well, they never said being a woman would be easy,” Maya pulled her into a tight hug. Keye held on so hard, she thought her ribs popped, “I love you.” Maya breathed into her hair. 

For a while they just sat there, hugging, listening to each other breathe. Maya hoped her decisions 

— << end trigger warning>> ---

-------------------------------------------------------------

November, 1 year ago….

Go see the elders. 

Jacob’s voice echoed and roiled in Paul’s ears as he worked away at the lower deck in the back garden. The cool November air whipped round Paul as he worked at setting wood planks on his foundation. The chill did nothing to bring down his temperature though. Paul was running more than hot these days—he was constantly burning up, as if an unbreakable fever clung to him since Maya left. 

Left him. 

Paul stalled, his hands stilling on the wood as he closed his eyes tightly against his last memory of her, tear stricken and shaking her head at him. I won’t. She had said to him that she wouldn’t stay. Not for anyone, not even for him. And that tore him to pieces and set him on fire. And ever since, he’d been burning. 

Paul forced his eyes back open and worked to refocus them on that task at hand. Work on the house always gave him some temporary peace, but he could never truly escape that hollowness that deepened and ached, threatening to drive him mad before the first snow would melt. 

He couldn’t even bring himself to go on rounds at this point. But no one blamed him. No one even came looking for him. He chalked that up to Jacob, citing space, citing time, citing…whatever it was Paul was supposed to find during his time of abandonment. 

Because that’s what it was, anyway you shook it out, he was simply abandoned. Again. 

Go see the elders. 

Jacob’s voice persisted in his head, sounding firmer, angrier each time that Paul refused whether internally or externally. What would the elders do for him exactly? They got him into this mess in the first place. Setting unrealistic expectations, putting pressure on them, coaxing them along with arbitrary milestones. They wouldn’t let up with their pleading eyes and knowing conversations until Maya was pregnant. Jesus. Paul skated quickly away from that thought and continued working on the deck. 

Plus, what could the elders say to him now? Maya was gone, and all he could do was hope that she’d come back. A ripple of anger ran down Paul’s spine as he gritted his teeth. Suddenly he felt like he was six years old again, sitting on the stoop of his dad’s double wide as thunder promised rain overhead. Waiting for someone who might never return. He hated that feeling. And what he hated more was how that anger that he once thought was well and truly tempered began to roil viciously within him again. 

Go see the elders. 

Jacob’s tone turned into a rough growl in his head and Paul couldn’t stand it anymore. The hammer that had gone so still in his hand now shook and he reared back before hurling it with all his might without a care of where it landed. It connected with something far off, a tree perhaps, that shook its occupants free and had them flying off in a hurry. 

Paul let out a harsh breath as he tried to swallow the well of emotion building in him. If he was being honest, he hadn’t done so well since Maya had left. To be fair, that might actually be an understatement. As hot, unshed tears brimmed his dark eyes, he stood with his hands lightly rested on his hips. 

“Fine,” he said to no one in particular, “I’ll go see the elders.” Paul headed off in the direction of his lost hammer.

--------------------------------------------

The next morning, Maya and Keye stumbled into the kitchen together after having fallen asleep, exhausted from their conversation the night before. 

Today was the day Maya planned to return to La Push and she would be lying if she wasn’t a bit nervous. 

But, even more nerve wracking was Keye’s request to drive her into the rez. After last night, Keye had woken up feeling better, but she had told Maya sleepily that she needed to go home to fix some things too. 

It only made sense that she would come with her, but still, the thought of Keye having another conversation last night made Maya ache, especially if she wouldn’t be as accepted by the others—least of all the council. 

But Keye had assured her that Leah and her had talked about this and that she felt ready after unloading a little on Maya last night. She could do it and even more so, she felt like she needed to, to continue to heal and grow past it. 

Now, hunched over their individual bowls of cereal as Leah watched from her place leaned up against the counter, both women held an air of dread about them. 

Leah took a bite of cereal and said suddenly to Maya: “You know he’s going to know you’re there as soon as you cross the boundary, right?” 

At this, Maya couldn’t help a small shiver run through her. He’d know she was there, but what he would do about it was still up in the air. 

A few hours later, Keye pulled up the familiar, neatly paved driveway to the house. If it wasn’t for the familiar blue stone, Maya might not have even clocked that they were at her house. There’s been so much work done to it, almost as if someone frantically decided to build with unbridled purpose and determination.

“Holy shit,” Keye breathed as she looked through her windshield of Leah’s Subaru. They both sat in stunned silence for a moment, mouths slightly agape. Then Maya replied weakly, 

“Yeah.” 

The little blue house wasn’t so little anymore. 

“Did you know he was—uh,” Keye faltered to complete her sentence so Maya just answered:

“No. This is…” Maya was lost for words. 

“Yeah,” Keye breathed. Finally, she tore her eyes away from the house and looked over at Maya. “So, are you ready?” 

“Are you?” Maya said back just as hesitantly. Keye considered it for a moment and then just shrugged. 

“Yeah, why not?” She answered with a small smile. Maya exhaled a breath through her nose and nodded. Why not. 

She pushed open the door and stood slowly on the dark paved driveway that was dotted with solar lights that would guide her in at night. She grabbed her duffel bag and backpack from the backseat and shut both doors with purpose. 

Keye only pulled back up the driveway once Maya had opened the front door. But Maya stayed frozen on the threshold for a moment, marveling at what lay within. 

The quaint front entryway had been completely opened and transformed into a wide open expansive living room that wrapped around the staircase that was now exposed on either side. Off to the right of the living room where there had only been a stone wall before, Paul had put in a cozy office, the entryway was arched and held two driftwood french doors, the glass mingling perfectly with the hand carved wood. 

Maya peeked in, her eyes coasting over the back wall behind the raw edged desk that was packed books in the floor to ceiling bookshelves. An oversized, plush chair was nestled neatly next to the bookshelves and the bay window that looked out into the woods. A small iron fireplace had been installed in a free corner. It was…perfect for lack of a better word. 

Maya spun on her heel and carried on toward the back of the house. The kitchen had been further expanded, a large warm wood island stretched across the expansive green tile. New appliances had been installed, the cabinets fitted and hand carved with intricate designs to heighten the simplicity of the sleek and soft kitchen around it.

Someone had been busy. Maya wrapped her arms around herself and glanced across the space. It was all so beautiful and different. But it still somehow felt like her home. It held the exact warmth and memory as before, just opened more to welcome new memories. 

Outside the sun was beginning to sink lower in the sky into the late afternoon. She pushed aside the long sliding glass door and stepped out onto the deck. A hanging bed flocked in white gossamer curtains and shaded by a partially covered pergola hung seductively off to the side. The deck had been expanded to include three levels, each holding a different space to gather with cozy chairs, firepits, and hand carved weather-proofed wooden tables. 

The most impressive thing that she had seen thus far though was the renovated workshop. Paul had completely rebuilt it, expanded it, and settled it a little further back onto the neighboring property. It almost looked the size of his studio in Seattle now, but he had built the entire front with reclaimed antique windows so that she could easily see into the intricate workspace within.The beveled glass glittered in the winter sun and made the entire backyard sparkle. It even held a second story loft that looked out toward the ocean. 

The cold November breeze rolled over Maya and she took a deep breath. She knew the kind of frenzied state he must have been in when he started building all of this. As a distraction. To keep him from feeling that hollowing pain that she herself felt almost every day when she had left. It was heartbreaking what they’d done to each other. But there was no getting around it now. 

Still, the most surprising thing was, he wasn’t here. Maya looked over her shoulder back into the house. Maybe she could find the keys to her Jeep, now neatly tucked away in the newly built two-car garage in the adjacent lot that Paul must have purchased to make all of these renovations. 

With Paul nowhere in sight, she let out a long breath. She guessed she could go to Emily and Sam’s and look for him there. That’s what she needed to do—she needed to find him. 

------------------------------------------------

February, 9 months ago…

Paul stood on the aging and worn steps of the last elder front porch in the icy rain that was oscillating annoyingly into sleet. As he looked around the front porch, shirtless and drenched in cold rain that steamed off of him, he noticed the wood rot close to the house where the porch met and made a mental note to come back and repair it once the weather cleared. 

After a few more seconds, Elder Ti’Hal slowly pulled open the door, a wool woven shawl hanging heavy over her shoulders. Her bright white hair was braiding neatly into two plaits. 

Elder Ti’Hal was truly ancient. And Paul didn’t mean that in a negative way at all. She radiated the distilled essence and teachings of their tribe. She was an elder before Paul was even born and he’d never known her without her bright white hair framing her wrinkled, warm face. 

She still managed to move fairly quickly and with agility that wouldn’t normally be attributed to someone of her age, but that was the mystery of elder Ti’Hal. She also never attended council meetings or bonfires anymore, and instead preferred to stay in her quiet cottage in the forest that she had shared with her husband before his passing over two decades ago. 

“Paul Lahote,” she said softly. “To what do I owe this very wet appearance?” 

Paul scowled off to the side, his jaw clenching so hard he thought his teeth might crack. He hadn’t realized it, but he was breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort of it. When he didn’t answer she just nodded gravely. 

“Come in,” she walked back into her small, warm, wooden home and Paul only hesitated for a second in the cold rain before he ducked under the tiny threshold and entered. “Let me get you a towel,” she grumbled. 

“Don’t bother,” he said, his tone coming out harsher than he intended. 

“For my couch then,” she was already digging in the small linen closet and produced a worn, threadbare towel that she draped across her couch for gesturing to it. “Sit.” she commanded. 

Paul had forgotten how bossy the elders were. He trudged across the living room, careful not to trip on the woven Quileute rug before he slumped down onto the couch in a huff. A warm fire crackled off to his left and Elder Ti’Hal had disappeared around a corner into her tiny kitchen and was clanging around with a kettle. 

“Do you want to start or should I?” Elder Ti’Hal called from the kitchen. Paul was still breathing heavily, the ache in his stomach crescendoing to a harsh beat. He may have groaned painfully in response, but he was too distracted by the unrelenting pain the imprint was causing him. “Right,” Elder Ti’Hal came around the corner with two hand thrown mugs in her hand steaming with what Paul hoped was something stronger than tea. 

She handed him his mug and when he took a whiff, he nearly threw it begrudgingly into the fire. 

“What pains you today, Paul Lahote?” she began. Paul shook his head, trying to find the right place to start, but nothing came to him, so instead he said, 

“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” she sipped slowly from her mug. 

“Call me by my first and last name. It’s not like you haven’t known me before I was born. Both names seem overkill don’t you think?” 

He shifted uncomfortably on the warm, plush couch as she leveled him with her gaze and took her time answering. 

“It’s more to remind you than me,” she said cryptically. Paul scoffed: 

“Oh believe me, I know who I am.” 

“Do you?” she replied quickly. Paul glared at her full on now and leaned forward, his mug still cradled between both hands. 

“She didn’t come home for Christmas. She didn’t come home for Seth and Sadie’s wedding. Nothing. Not a fucking peep from her,” he could feel the tension in his body snap, the anger flowing through his veins freely now. He trembled slightly—this wasn’t his first time having to channel unchecked rage through himself and he doubted Ti’Hal would appreciate him exploding into a giant wolf and shredding her comfortable living room to pieces. 

Instead, Paul glued his eyes to the fire, trying to let the anger move through him and then out of him to be consumed and burned away by the fire. But every time he breathed in, it felt like ash flooding his mouth, the embers of that anger still hotter than anything else within him. 

“What does one do with so much anger?” she posed the question suddenly. Paul looked up at her wide-eyed as if shocked by the fact that she could see it on him. He was naive to think that much anger wouldn’t still be palpable to someone as attuned as her. Paul rolled his jaw and sat staring at her, waiting for the anger to ebb, but it wouldn’t. 

Fuck. 

Elder Ti’Hal settled back into her large armchair covered in different soft, worn blankets. When it was clear he wasn’t going to respond, she glanced out the window, watching the rain settle into a gentle drizzle. 

“What do you think the imprint is, Paul?” her voice was warm with a gentle thrum to it like dried maize kernels pouring into a stone bowl. Comforting, consistent. It was maddening to say the least, so Paul continued in his aggravated tone, feeling the heat rise on his skin. 

“An anchor for packmates. A promise for imprints. It’s a reason to stay.” 

“Hmm,” she breathed, her eyes still on the window watching the rain make trails to the muddied window ledge. Paul huffed, rubbing his hands against his knees with impatience. A fucking waste of time, he thought as he clenched his jaw. “But it wasn’t reason enough for her to stay?” 

When her eyes slowly drifted back toward him, Paul looked ready to burst into flames. 

“Clearly not. I can’t go get her because I’ve been ordered to stay away, but also….she doesn’t want me to come,” his voice was quiet. He waited for her to speak again but she just stared at him sadly. A deathly calm rolled over him and he thought that if Ti’Hal didn’t say something soon, he might just give up and collapse in on himself like a dying star.

“What is it then? The imprint?” Paul asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. 

Ti’Hal smiled slowly, warmth creeping into her eyes as she tilted her head to the side and surveyed Paul thoroughly. She took her time before she finally said: 

“A choice.” 

Paul tried to quiet the tremors radiating through his body. If the imprint was a choice, then Maya had clearly not chosen him. Never. Not even from the start. The thought of it made his blood boil. His face twisted in rage before he spat out. 

“What the fuck does that mean? How is it a fucking choice when it’s supposedly pre-ordained from the ancestors? That makes no fucking sense, you know that right?” Paul was on his feet without remembering when exactly he stood up. His hands were curled into fists and his chest was rising and falling quickly. He needed to calm down. If he could just calm down he could…

Ti’Hal just watched him with that serene look on her face, as if nothing fazed her anymore and the anger of a full blown werewolf couldn’t even shake her. Paul tried breathing, closing his eyes, counting to ten, but nothing could quell this desperate anger that spiraled and felt like lead dropping into the bottom of his stomach. 

Why was it always like this? This anger? It was like a tide that he couldn’t escape. Like clockwork it would just rush over him and pull him under in seconds and there was nothing he felt like he could do about it. It was an exposed wire in his veins just ticking and twitching with so much heat and sharpness that he felt his skin would burn away and leave him exposed and vulnerable. 

 “Have you given her a choice?” Ti��Hal’s voice cut through the raging quiet like a whip, but her voice still remained calm. He tried to focus on that—that there was calm to be achieved and he could reach it. He could reach the shore if he just stayed calm. He was panting, losing his breath every moment he kept himself solid and here. 

“I thought I did…but I wasn’t given one either,” he thought back to the moment the imprint had happened. Seeing her there across the fire. It was like an instant salve to a long forgotten pain. And then in the next moment, he was all resistance and rage again. Nothing felt like a choice when it came to the imprint. “We…we didn’t have time to make that choice,” Paul tried to slow his breathing. Calm, in and out, just like the waves. Not sinking but drifting.

“Some see the imprint as a gift, but that’s also just a choice wrapped up in a nice bow, in my opinion. It is a choice, Paul Lahote. You’ve made plenty in your very short life so far, but it is one that you give to her and wait until she makes it. It’s a question, and not a command and it can take many forms. You’re part is making sure you ask her the right one,” she watched his body language shift ever so slightly. “Miss Sunriviere was told that you were her imprint, told that there was to be in a relationship, and then told what her life would most likely be, in so many words.” Paul opened his mouth to retort but she continued anyway, “You are her choice. So ask the question and be patient for once. And most importantly, be vulnerable to her answer,” Ti’Hal took a moment to sip her tea. Paul tried to let those words sink in. 

He was vulnerable with her. Her absence had nearly destroyed him, was that not vulnerable enough? 

“No, not that,” Ti’Hal responded as if she could hear his thoughts. Paul’s eyes widened. 

“What’s the question, then? The one I should ask?” Paul said desperately, his voice rasping as he realized he had been holding his body tensely throughout Ti’Hal’s speech. 

“Start with the answer you want and work your way back from there,” she gave a cryptic smile and stood, disappearing behind her kitchen door and singing softly to herself, unceremoniously excusing him. 

Paul stood there for a while longer, rapidly breathing, and listening to Ti’Hal singing the songs of his childhood in her kitchen, muffled and sweet.  ------------------------------------------

The door to her Jeep shut with a sharp click as Maya shrugged on her cropped puffy jacket. Much as she had suspected, the keys to Maya’s Jeep were in the sun visor, as if waiting for her. The whole drive to Sam and Emily’s felt…calm. As if she were driving toward something rather than into something. There was no sweeping dread, no overwhelming nervousness—she just felt ready. She chocked that up to just time. The time away had made her ready for home, refreshed her.

Sam and Emily’s looked the same as it always did—warm and inviting with a steady stream of smoke coming from the chimney. It was familiar and as she took in a deep breath, the cold November air spiced with pine and fallen leaves, with a hint of the salty Pacific sent a pleasant reassuring thrum through her body. 

Maya stood by her Jeep for a moment just taking it in, before the potential chaos—whether it would be angry or joyful—would be wrought on her. Just the quiet creak of the forest, a distant river rushing toward the sea, and muffled laughter booming from within the home. 

Maya took a deep breath and took a couple of steps forward, her feet crunching on the wet gravel. She hadn’t made it more than a few steps when the screen door opened and Paul walked out slowly onto the porch, hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. Maya halted, her breath caught in her throat as her eyes met his. 

She braced herself for whatever awaited her, but still that pulsing calm spread through her. It all felt…alright. And she hadn’t felt that way in so long. She watched in for just a moment as he stood on the top step of the porch, his face neutral before it broke into an earth shattering smile. 

Maya could have sobbed at the sight of it. He sauntered down the steps toward and it took all of her self control not to break into a full on sprint to quickly close the distance between them. Somehow she managed a quick walk and nearly crashed into his body, but he held her fast, one arm coming out to wrap around her waist as his other hand cupped her jaw. He peered down at her, that warm smile still spilling sunshine in every direction and she stared up at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears. 

He shook his head lightly and smiled, as his thumb reached up to gently brush across her lower lip, parting them softly. 

“You came home,” he said gently, the emotion clearly wavering in his deep voice. Maya nearly crumbled at his touch. She was home. 

“Yes,” she said simply, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought it was…time,” she paused when he raised his eyebrows at her, a hint of humor and warmth in his eyes then quickly clarified: “For a visit.”

But this didn’t seem to faze him. He just nodded gently, humming in acceptance with that warm, pleased look on his face as he took her all in. There was a palpable vibration happening between them, what Maya could only assume was a physical manifestation of the imprint’s tension. 

The last time she had seen him on the rez  was over a year ago. And yet, time washed away and parted to let them stand there together again as if nothing had passed, as if this was any other day. Comfortable. 

Maya’s hands shook she gripped the sides of his abdomen. She’d come all this way to say….to say what exactly? Her mouth parted softly but nothing came out. She needed to say something, anything. The silence stretched between them and Maya just couldn’t let it hang there any longer. How could she? After he had left her in that hotel room, and how it had felt coming home again—she needed to tell him everything. 

He was tall, god so tall, he towered over her really, and yet she felt like his matching pair. 

“Welcome home,” he said gently, his nose nuzzling hers gently. 

Maya looked up at him curiously, her eyes slightly narrowed as she took him in. His dark beard was closely trimmed to his face, and his hair was a bit shorter than the last time she saw it. He looked good. Well, he always looked good, but this was different. 

His eyes seemed bright, not clouded with the anger or jealousy she had seen back in the spring. No, this Paul felt solid, for once. The light was shining on his face, his color back to its warm russet, flush with heat and health. Everything felt simpler. 

And with the confusion and despair that had once clung to that hollowness in her stomach from the imprint’s ache clearing completely, she felt like she could see clearly for the first time in awhile. She was worried momentarily that maybe it was just the trick of the imprint, beckoning her in—a salve to her burning anxiety. 

But staring up at Paul, there was an openness there that hadn’t been there before. Something that she wanted to discover and ask him about. For now though, as his hand slowly threaded into her hair and pulled her close, this was all that she needed. 

Finally, after watching her with such intensity, such heat, as if trying to rememorize every part of her face he lowered his head toward hers and crashed their lips together. It was like coming up for air after swimming beneath a current for too long. His kiss pressed new life into her and she arched her body fully into his, her curve slotting into the shape of his body just so as he held her against him. 

Paul moved his mouth over hers, slow and wanting, washing the ache of their absence away. There was no succumbing this time, just an equal measure of elation at being together again, and Maya felt that familiar sensation of something clicking into place and she saw it for what it was: being in the right place at the right time. 

She sighed into his mouth and heard him give a soft groan of pleasure before the air rang with the hoots and howls of his brothers. He pulled back gently, his eyes hooded and soft as he looked at her. Paul glanced over his shoulder at his pack crowded onto the porch and gave a gentle laugh before looking back, his eyes shining with something new as he said gruffly, “I guess they missed you too.” 

Maya swallowed thickly and laughed, not willing to let go of him first. But he took her cue and said, “Come inside, I’m sure they all have a million questions.” Paul kissed her forehead before turning and slotting her neatly into his side as they walked the short distance to the porch. 

“Hey, hey Ivy League!” Jared crooned. 

“Welcome back, My,” Seth said softly. 

“We needed a little more brains around here,” Colin laughed as Brady shoved him lightly. 

“Maya?!” a soft, female voice floated out from the front door as Maya and Paul climbed the porch steps. Becks pushed her way through the pack crowded on the porch and started sobbing instantly upon seeing her. She was heavily pregnant, and Jacob wasn’t far behind her as she nearly dropped into Maya’s arms in a hug, squeezing her so tightly she thought she cracked a rib. 

“Oh my god!” she cried into her shoulder. Maya chuckled and rubbed soft circles on her back as she looked over her shoulder at Jacob who shrugged and looked lovingly at his hormonally devastated wife. Becks pulled back to look at Maya, her face puffy and tear stricken, “You absolute JERK!” Maya barked a laugh at that and tried to wipe some tears away from Becks’ cheeks. “Don’t ever disappear on me like that again. I thought— I thought—,” 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Maya said, pulling her best friend back into a hug. “I should have texted.” Becks hiccuped a sound of disapproval, “Or called.” Maya corrected. When she pulled back, Becks nodded, seemingly trying to get herself calm as Jacob settled a hand on her lower back. Maya’s eyes widened as she took in just how pregnant she was. 

“Yeah, I know,” Becks said disappointed, “He’s like a week late.” She truly looked exhausted and the size of her belly stretched to almost painful extent. Jacob rubbed her back and leaned down to kiss her temple. 

“He’ll come soon, babe,” he promised. “Plus, Maya’s here. That’s literally all the good luck we need to induce your labor. Like last time.” 

Maya laughed again and shrugged, “Just no vampire delivery this time, right?” she quipped. Jacob rolled his eyes. 

“Jesus, I hope it doesn’t come to that. But, Carlisle is on standby if the water birth stalls or we need quick intervention,” Jacob said nonchalantly. 

“What the fuck is a water birth?” Brady whispered to no one in particular. 

“Come inside, come inside,” Becks waved a hand and with Paul’s hand on her waist gently, Maya let the warm, comforting Uley home swallow her up. 

They stayed at Sam and Emily’s until late in the evening, laughing and swapping stories. Paul stayed next to her, his presence relaxed and content, which was so unlike the tense and overwhelmingly protectiveness he had always exhibited before she left. 

She glanced over at him a couple times, and each time, he caught her eye and gave her a smile. One that promised nothing but exactly what he was in that moment. And it made her…happy. 

When she started to yawn, Paul took that as an opportunity to lean over and whisper softly against her ear, “Let’s go home.” 

Maya nodded immediately and they said their quick goodbyes to those remaining there, promising to come back tomorrow for lunch and babywatch. 

When they pulled up to the house in Maya’s Jeep, she couldn’t stifle her laughter quickly enough before Paul looked toward her amused and said:

“You don’t like it?” he asked, not even a little offended. If she didn’t know any better, there might be a slight teasing tone to his voice.

“No, no! It’s beautiful, I—,” she shut her eyes tightly to quell the rising emotion in her stomach from burning behind her eyes for too long. “It’s beautiful, Paul. You’ve clearly been busy, but I’m not sure why you did all this work.” Liar, the voice inside her quipped. 

The corner of Paul’s mouth pulled up in a smug grin beneath his closely trimmed beard, “Bullshit,” he replied, maybe to that voice in her head. Maya blushed and shook her head at the soft teasing tone. 

They hopped out of the car and came around the front into each other’s sides, arms weaving effortlessly over each other’s waists like magnets pulled them together, as they walked toward the house.

“Well, why else would you feel the need to renovate our entire house? It’s not like we needed to. The house was…fine, before,” she swallowed a gasp on the last two words as Paul confidently reached for her hip and tugged her closer, pulling her body flush with his. He stopped her, his other hand came up to rest on the side of her neck and threaded through her hair at the  nape of her neck.

He chuckled and Maya felt the warm rumbling vibration of it stumble through her body and land in her belly. “Shut up,” he said with a gentle smile. Maya couldn’t help her returning grin before she quickly wiped it from her face. 

“Seriously, if this is what happens every time I leave, I’m going to have to have someone confiscate your power tools,” his warm breath fanned across her face as he sighed, his eyes dancing around taking her all in in this light. How did he do that? Look at her like he was seeing the most incredible thing he’d ever laid eyes upon for the first time, and yet, the familiarity of his gaze said he’d known her forever, lifetimes before even. She let her hands rest on his chest now as she looked up at him. 

“I forgot how much of a little shit you are,” he teased.

“Me?! Really, you're a menace to homes everywhere—” Maya was cut off as she shrieked with delight as Paul growled, squeezing her hip and biting her neck, his rough stubble tickling beneath her chin as he backed her over the threshold of the house and kicked the door shut behind him. 

Once inside, he grabbed her under her thighs and carried her effortlessly up the stairs toward their bedroom, his mouth never leaving hers. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck, letting herself sink deeper into the kiss. Nothing was hurried—for once. 

When he lowered her gently onto the bed, his hands coasted across her thighs and unbuttoned her jeans. He peeled them off her slowly, kissing down her body and pausing to press an open mouthed kiss to delicate V between her thighs. Maya watched him, her eyes hooded with desire as he took his time kissing back up her bare legs once her jeans were discarded, pulling her shirt up now and peppering the expanse of her belly with warm pecks. 

Maya sighed, a small moan escaping as made his way up between her breasts, swiftly pulling her shirt up over her head and burying his face in her neck, the stubble scraping against the soft skin and making goosebumps rise across her breasts. 

Paul was slow and methodical in how he worshiped her, his hands touching every part of her, pausing to measure just how well she fit in his hands. Maya felt it too and an overwhelming sense of contentment rushed through her. The imprint bond that normally rang so clear through her during a time like this was completely silent. She didn’t pay it much mind though as Paul quickly unsnapped her bra and pulled back the delicate lace before encasing her nipple in his mouth. Maya’s back arched off the bed and Paul’s hand traced the shape of it. 

His thigh nestled neatly between her legs and Maya couldn’t help but seek friction desperately there, grinding down on him and rolling her hips as he tugged gently at her nipple with his teeth, biting softly across the swell of her chest to her other breast. 

Maya was panting with desire, rolling her hips as her eyes flutter shut to simply exist in this moment with him. She heard the soft swish of his t-shirt coming off and the familiar hum of his zipper. When she opened her eyes, he was standing and discarding his clothes, fully naked at the end of the bed and he simply looked—gorgeous. Maya’s breath caught in her throat as she leaned up to look at him. His throat bobbed in equal adoration as he leaned over her, his fingers ghosting across her hips and slowly slipping her panties down her thighs. He kissed her bent knee as he slipped the lacy garment over it and when she was fully naked beneath him, he let out a well deserved sigh. His eyes raked in every inch of her as if drinking her in. Maya was propped up on her elbows, her eyes softened as she slowly let her knees drop to either side, baring herself to him. 

She was already dripping—she knew that. Paul licked his lips and kneeled between her, not wasting anymore time as he bit gently on her thigh before leaning in to devour her. His tongue, flat and warm, seemed to touch every part between her thighs and Maya threw her head back, letting out a sharp moan. He let her settle on his tongue, tasting her, relishing her scent, as he held her there, his hands anchored firmly on her hips. His mouth sucked and pulled at her clit, his tongue darting into her opening, as a groan rumbled from his throat and through her body. 

Maya was cresting, light bursting behind her eyes as she whimpered through her release. She twitched against his tongue and only then did he lean up, his eyes glazed with lust and love so intertwined that she thought she’d melt into the mattress. 

Paul ran his hands over her body again, reverently, as if to prove something to himself and Maya shivered. The ache growing inside of her was present, persistent, but he leaned down slowly, taking her mouth over his and she sighed into it. Their breath mingled, mixing, and Maya felt like she was coming home all over again. 

He wrapped his arm down around her back and shifted her up the bed, but before she could settle onto the pillows, he whipped her over him and Maya straddled his abdomen. Her eyes sparkled, and she couldn’t help but smile. Paul almost always preferred to have her beneath him when he claimed her, but in this moment, his eyes shone with a desire to see her claim every part of him. 

Maya let her hands run down his chest, memorizing the hard expanse, the ripples and lines that made him strong and immovable. His chest rose and fell in quick breaths as if her fingertips were tracing some new pattern of love into his skin. Maya slowly traced over each dip and line of muscle, her eyes trained to each small freckle or scar, taking him all in. 

His hands gripped her hips tightly, kneading the soft flesh that creased between her hip and thigh and she smiled. “You are torturing me,” he rasped, his eyes dark and desperate. Maya glanced up at his face and just smiled softly. 

“I’m just remembering,” she replied barely above a whisper. Paul pressed his thumbs into that delicate crease where her hips met each of her thighs and pressed. A shot of lightning struck between her legs and a soft gasp fell from her lips. 

“Remembering what?” he asked, so soft, so gentle. A sweet juxtaposition to the hard bodied, giant man that lay wanting and ready beneath her. Maya’s fingers paused over where his heart lay thumping wildly in his chest. 

“What it feels like to come home,” she replied, as she lifted her hips and pressed him against her center. She slid down onto him slowly, feeling the warm stretch of him. A feral groan ripped from Paul as she sank onto his hilt, her hips neatly connected to his. She feel his hands flex as they gripped and loosened on her thighs. Maya braced herself on his stomach, taking in deep, stuttering breaths as she tried to get used to the sheer size of him again. As he twitched inside of her, she let out a soft “Ah!” as she clenched around him. She was so sensitive. Being fully in control had set her body alight and Paul waited for her to move, groaning each time she inadvertently squeezed him inside of her. 

When she lifted slightly, Paul braced her between his hands, helping to raise her hips. His eyes were glued to where they connected as the sheen of her slick coated every exposed inch of him. Maya raised herself halfway up his shaft before slowly settling back down onto him working herself into a slow and languid pace. 

Maya watched his eyes, sharp and dark as they took in every bit of movement. He was in absolute awe, completely taken by the shape of her and Maya felt completely in control. 

Her mouth hung open in unadulterated want as she quickened her pace on top of him. Rolling and sliding her hips against him. Paul’s hands tightened and loosened of their own accord as if he had to remind himself to let go a little so he wouldn’t bruise her. 

With each roll of her hips, that ache was replaced with warm relief and she felt a whole body shiver rush through her as Paul started chanting her name. She needed him closer, as she felt her tits swell and ache from her impending release. As if he heard her, Paul leaned up, connecting their bodies. His chest pressed flush against hers, but Maya didn’t stop bucking her hips against his. Paul wrapped his arms around her body, nipping along her collarbone, his moans echoing across the room as Maya threw her head back, panting and cursing. 

She felt him release first, and it took her over the edge. Paul’s eyes were closed tightly as he shuddered through his release and Maya curved in on herself as she let go, her body clenching to him tightly with wave after wave of pleasure as if she was trying to rinse herself through. 

Finally, she collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily into the crook of his neck. He placed a hand behind her head and stroked gently, kissing her temple as he tried to slow his breathing. 

Still, the imprint was silent. Maya wasn’t complaining, it was just…strange. 

“Welcome home,” he breathed. Maya chuckled and buried her head in his neck as she let sleep overtake her in one fell swoop

The next morning, Maya awoke slowly. She was keenly aware of Paul’s body behind hers, his arms wrapped lightly around her waist. Rain pattered gently on the windows and she had to admit that she hadn’t felt this content waking up in a long while. 

Paul stirred gently behind her, kissing her shoulder as Maya rubbed her hand over his forearm. They stretched into one another, Paul groaning sleepily as she turned in his arms. 

“Good morning,” he said gently, his eyes barely open. Maya bit her lower lip and smiled. 

“Morning.” 

“Do you have plans today?” he asked nonchalantly. Maya quirked an eyebrow and stifled a laugh. 

“No, I don’t think so. These are my plans, what about you?” she said in only a slightly teasing tone. 

“Yeah, I want to show you something,” he opened his eyes fully now, looking down at her and Maya looked at him carefully. Not a bit of hesitation in those eyes, she noticed. “Will you come?” 

“Sure,” Maya breathed. She didn’t know why but her stomach erupted with butterflies. He gave her a warm smile and closed his eyes again pulling her closer as he settled back into sleep. 

Later that afternoon, once the rain had stopped and Maya was bundled in her heavy winter coat and rain weathered hiking boots. Paul was dressed simply in jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair neatly coiffed to the side as if he had tried to tidy it up just a little bit. 

Paul drove them into the woods and parked in a clearing. He led her through the forest and they walked for nearly an hour along sloping pathways and fern covered earth. Paul carried her over fallen trees and helped her down rain slicked slopes until the pathways went decidedly up and up. 

“Where are we going?” Maya laughed as she breathed in the briney air, her cheeks flushed red with heat and exertion. Paul looked back at her over his shoulder and squeezed her hand. 

“Almost there,” he reassured her. 

Once they broke through the treeline, Maya knew where they were headed and her heart began to race. 

It was the cliff from her dream all those years ago. Where the wolf had beckoned her forward. 

“Paul what are we—” she began as they started up the slope of the cliff. 

“When you were gone, I went and saw the elders,” he began not looking at her. Maya stopped and her hand fell from his. 

“Oh?” she couldn’t say that that filled her with the reassurance she was hoping for. The elders had been incredibly intrusive throughout their relationship. “What for?” she probed. 

Paul took a few more steps forward toward the jutting edge of the cliff that pulled out over the water. “I was looking for advice and they didn’t really offer me much…until I saw Ti’Hal,” Maya’s eyes widened at that and she followed him a couple steps onto the cliff. 

“Ti’Hal?” She was shivering, not from the cold but from something else. Nerves? She couldn’t place it. No one ever went to Ti’Hal. She was the tribe’s oldest advisor, never came to council meetings anymore, and was a recluse for lack of a better term. Still, she was revered within her community and if you did seek her out, there needed to be a very good reason. She didn’t give away her time easily. 

Paul looked out over the cliffs, the wind whipping around him as he put a hand in his pocket. “I was trying to figure out what to do about us.” Maya’s stomach dropped at that. Paul still didn’t look at her and she felt like she was waiting for other shoe to drop, “I was miserable without you Maya, I think you know that.” 

“Paul—” Maya tried again. 

“No. Let me get this out,” he breathed harshly, turning to look at her finally, his eyes were burning. “Let me, please.” He nearly begged. Maya swallowed hard and nodded. He looked out again for a couple of heartbeats before he continued, turning to look back at her but staying close to the cliffs edge. 

“I was miserable without you. I had no idea what to do about the imprint, how to get you back. It was driving me insane. Actually insane. I didn’t phase back for a few months because I couldn’t handle being without you and lending myself to that animal side was simpler. But that started to make everything worse….I felt like..I was dying without you. And that terrified me.” 

Indeed his eyes were pained and dark and Maya thought the pain of it would reach out and shatter her. That the imprint would begin to tug her closer. But it didn’t. It was odd. 

“I just wanted it all to stop. If you wanted to stay away, be without me, I wanted you to have that and for me not to feel this way anymore. So, I tried to figure out the bond the imprint made. At one point I even asked…I even considered…trying to break it,” his voice was so defeated and Maya couldn’t help a soft sob from escaping her throat at the thought of it. “I was in so much pain, I just…” 

Maya took another small step forward and he continued, determined. “Still, the elders had no advice. The imprint would pull you back to me. There would be no other option but that. And then I saw Ti’Hal. I realized after talking with her that I got the imprint all wrong. I got us all wrong,” his eyes were hard now as they looked past her, through her. 

Was this some sort of sick joke? Fear shot through Maya as she thought the absolute worst. 

“Paul, wait,” Maya said, holding her hand out. 

“No, My,” he shook his head, “Let me finish.” 

“I don’t want you to,” she nearly had to yell over the wind, “Please, let’s just go home.” 

Paul shook his head, a smile now bursting over his face and Maya had to swallow her tears to keep from letting the panic sink in. 

“You have no idea how much I love you,” he said gently. Maya’s eyes widened and she took a step forward. Please don’t let it be bad. “I realized that because of the imprint and because of what everyone thought it meant, you were never given a choice in all this. I was never given a choice in all this.” Maya started to shake her head to stop him, to make him listen, he couldn’t leave her like this. It wasn’t fair. 

“Please,” she choked. 

“I decided I wanted to make a choice in all this. And you deserve one too,” his eyes on her were hard. And he took one step forward but then, he shrank from her eyeline getting onto both of his knees. He was actually kneeling before her, his hand now out of his pocket holding something. “I want you to choose me because it’s what you want. I want a life with you and I want us to create that together. Not because of the imprint or because of what is expected. But because you love me and I love you. I want…I want so bad to marry you, My. Will you marry me?” 

The shiny glimmer of tears caught in the corners of his eyes as he stared up at her. Maya took the last few steps toward him slowly, her mouth open in shock as tears flowed freely over her cheeks now. The ring glittered in his hands, a large oval shaped diamond set in a delicate gold band. Maya was crying completely now, the tears beginning to blur her vision and she couldn't quite catch her breath.

“Will you—” he tried again but Maya cut him off quickly. 

“Yes, yes I will! Yes, Paul. Yes,!” she sank to her knees before him and he tugged her forward, kissing her through her tears as the waves crashed and roiled below them. 

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