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itsaash · 11 months

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Hamptons cubs AU: monster

This is the second last part!! Wild. Thanks to @noots-fic-fests and @lumosinlove and to everyone who has been reading.

He was nervous and excited for the big day, Leo’s food being photographed and the magazine editor trying his recipes. He wanted to help and maybe also wanted to hide. But, no, they didn’t know he had heard them, and after a nice evening all together and some sleep, he felt less mortified. Honestly, he was sad. They’d be leaving tonight, after the dinner. It was the last night that he’d have friends in his house and the spectre of a quiet week hung over him. He let the rhythm of his steps on the boardwalk lull him and the bad feelings slowly faded away. He’d help Leo, do anything he can to make the dinner a success, and see Leo again in a few short days. Finn loved how nothing seemed as bad after a run.

He walked through the kitchen to Logan making coffees.

“Hiho, Logan,” Finn said, chugging some water.

“You’ve already exercised? Gross,” Logan said. His hair was still sleep mussed and his voice was scratchy. “I had to promise Leo coffee in bed to convince him to not make another practice batch of boudin before this afternoon.”

Finn laughed. “Good man, and good luck,” he said with a salute and left the room to shower. He figured he should leave Leo and Logan alone, Logan knew how to support Leo better than he ever could. He hit the doorframe with his palm as he passed under it, feeling unsettled.

The nervous energy in the house was high the rest of the morning. Haley and Ramsey cleaned, Finn tried to work while Leo did the first steps of the boudin balls. He chopped onion and peppers and jalapeños into small cubes. Finn found himself in awe, just watching the knife move in meticulous motions, leaving each ingredient perfectly shaped. Leo went through the steps that even Finn was becoming familiar with, adding the meat and spices, setting the pot to simmer, having Logan taste it and adjust. Finn managed to work a bit while the pot was simmering, the smell started to spread through the air. He kept glancing outside, where Logan had led Leo by the hand to sit in the shade while he could. The mixture got processed and then they all ate lunch together, Leo serving the coleslaw he had made the day before, rice, and some of the boudin that hadn’t gone into the fridge to be made into balls. Finn set to washing the dishes so the kitchen would be ready when it was time to prep for Pandora to arrive. When they came back in, Leo took the batch out from the fridge and he had his game face on, which made Finn's heart expand in earnestness.

“Holy fuck I forgot the parsley,” Leo said, under his breath and in horror. Finn and Logan both snapped their heads up.

“Quoi?” Logan said, in shock.

“Ok, ok, you can mix it in still, right? Cut it super fine and mix it in?” Fine offered, shaking off his wet hands.

Leo was already moving to the fridge to get the fresh parsley. “Yeah, yeah, ok, shit, how could I forget this?”

Logan ran a hand up and down his back as he stood behind him.

“It’s ok love, you’re doing so much and it’s all going to be amazing. We can fix this.”

Leo nodded like a puppet and set to chopping the parsley.

He cut himself.

He had used those knives all week, and he was a professional. He was moving quickly, but he always cut safely. But shit happens, and maybe mercury was retrograding, or maybe it was fate or just bad fucking luck, but today was just the day that he happened to cut himself. It wasn’t good.

He stood in silence for a long second before the pain hit, in shock. When Leo gasped and swore in pain both Logan and Finn jumped towards him. Finn saw the blood and ran for the first aid kit in the bathroom, when he got back Logan had Leo’s hand wrapped in paper towel, still standing in the same spot he had been chopping.

“Ok Leo, it’s ok, just over here, ok? We’ve got you,” Finn led Leo to the sink. He peeled away the red paper towel and had Leo do a quick rinse under cold water so they could see the damage. Finn felt a wave of relief, the end of a finger was cut, but it wasn’t gaping or gushing and with a soft murmured question and a wince of pain, Leo agreed he could move his finger. Finn took some gauze from the kit and pressed it to Leo’s finger.

“Pressure. 5 minutes, no peeking. Just hold it.” Leo nodded, his blue eyes looking big and shiny. Finn wrapped his hand around both of Leo’s. “It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.”

Logan pushed a stool over to them, and Leo sat down into it and closed his eyes for a long second. One tear trailed down his cheek and Finn followed its progress raptly all the way down to his jaw.

“Fuck me,” Leo said and opened his eyes. Finn’s heart squeezed at the worry in his eyes.

“No, no, Leo, it’s ok. We’ll help. It’ll stop bleeding soon, and we’ll help you. We’re still getting you in that magazine.”

Logan had appeared at Leo’s side and pressed his body into the side of Leo’s. Leo tilted his head over, resting on Logan’s chest, and Finn was very aware that he was still holding Leo’s hand, but he didn’t let go.

“You stay here, soleil, I’ll clean up, c'est bon. Finn, more paper towels and some sort of cleaner?”

“Uh, some regular cleaner under the sink here, but I think the powerful stuff and more paper towels are in the closet upstairs.” He started to turn, but Logan waved him off.

“Ouais, I’ll find them,” he said, and hurried out of the kitchen.

Leo took a shaky breath and Finn brought his other hand up to Leo’s forearm and stepped closer.

“Are you ok? How much does it hurt?”

“It hurts. I’m more so mad at myself, why today?” Leo moaned, dropping his head back in frustration. “I wanted today to be perfect.”

“Hey, hey, Le, we are going to help you. I’ll cut the parsley. You can direct us. We’ve seen you do this, we can help. And you’ll stop bleeding and you’ll be able to do some of the steps later today. It’s all still good.” Fines was rubbing Leo’s arm as he spoke, trying to soothe him.

“Yeah, yeah ok, thanks Finn,” Leo said through a sigh and brought his head back down. And suddenly, they were much closer together than they had been. Leo’s face was so close, closer than Finn had ever seen it. His eyes were bright, and there were a few wet tracks down his cheeks. Freckles scattered lightly over his cheeks and there was the grey patch of hair at his forehead, blending in with the rest of his blond curls. Their eyes locked together for a long, heart thumping moment. Finn’s hand moved without thought, and brushed the hair back from Leo’s face. He was even closer now, so close. Finn could feel the heat coming off of Leo’s body and noticed for the first time he was standing between Leo’s legs. How had he not realised that before? He felt blood rush to his ears, a flush rising to his neck. He saw Leo’s eyes dart down to his lips and then they were even closer together, Finn could feel Leo’s shallow breaths through the small space between them.

“Found them!” Logan said, entering the kitchen. Finn jumped and straightened, but managed to not bolt, some part of his traitorous brain thankfully remembering he had Leo’s injured hand wrapped in his.

“Awesome, Tremzy,” Finn said, trying to sound normal, whatever the fuck normal would even mean amidst this fucking soap opera of a day.

“Has it stopped bleeding yet?” Logan asked as he sprayed and wiped the counter and floor.

“2 more minutes of compression before we check,” Finn said. He was thankful he had a reason to have a shaky voice. Leo was quiet, was just looking at him. “Can you grab Leo a tylenol when you’re done there, Tremz? From that cabinet there?”

Logan tossed the dirty cleaning supplies and got the tylenol, joined Leo and Finn. He stroked Leo’s hair as Finn just had been, and Finn felt his heart squeeze in guilt. Leo was Logan’s boyfriend. He was being a monster. He had to stop this.

“We’re going to need more parsley, right?” Finn asked, voice high. “I know where it is in the garden, I’ll be back.” And he finally let go of Leo’s hand, gently, letting Logan take it instead, and fled outside.

Before going back inside, Finn gathered himself for what felt like the 100th time that week. Why couldn’t his stupid body remember that the two of them were already together? It had been a good week, but also such a confusing one. He put the parsley to his nose and inhaled the savoury scent, using it to distract himself and focus. Leo was inside fucking bleeding and needed his help. He had to go help and make this day happen, for Leo.

So he slid the door open and went into the kitchen, which undeniably smelled amazing, although now with more than a hint of cleaner.

“You ok Leo?” Seeing him sitting on the stool, Logan between his legs now, his forehead resting on Logan’s chest, it was easy to just focus on what needed to be done. “Has it stopped bleeding?”

Leo tilted his head up at him. His face glistened with sweat and tears. “Yeah, it’s getting there. Just mad at myself.”

“Non, it’s not your fault and I don’t want to hear you say it is,” Logan said into Leo’s hair.

“Want me to chop this?” Finn asked, holding up the parsley.

“Yeah, thanks so much Finn, you’re a lifesaver.” Finn took a step towards the cutting board and Leo spoke again. “Actually, you could put it in the little smoothie blender. It’ll get tiny and then no one has to use knives again.”

“You sure? I can do it slow and steady?” Finn said.

“I’m sure, the blender will get it nice and small.”

So Finn processed the parsley and mixed it carefully into the boudin and put it all back in the fridge.

“D’accord, that has to sit for awhile yet? And there’s time. Let’s get your finger wrapped up.” Logan carefully unwrapped the digit and used a butterfly bandage, gauze, and a finger bandaid. He kissed the tip of each of Leo’s uninjured fingers and raised Leo’s hand above his head. Leo kept his arm up as Logan leaned in for a soft but deep kiss. “We’re ok, it’s ok,” he murmured. Finn busied himself cleaning up the first aid kit while Logan led Leo to the couch. Finn brought Leo a glass of iced tea and then turned back to his notes, not looking at how Logan and Leo’s hair mixed and contrasted when their heads were tilted together.

~~~~~~~

Like they were professional athletes at a starting line, at 2:00 the final preparations began. Finn’s parents vacated the area, and Logan and Finn helped Leo gather the ingredients from the fridge and pantry.

“Put on some music, Harzy?” Leo asked. “Give us something motivational or optimistic or even full on delusional, cause we have to get this done.”

They all laughed when the first bars of eye of the tiger started, so Finn let the song keep playing.

“Ok love, so you can’t use your left hand as your wet hand for the egg dipping, right? I think Finn and I can manage rolling the balls and dipping them in the egg and breadcrumbs? And you can probably manage frying them with one hand?” Logan said.

“You know the steps?” Leo said, impressed.

“Leo,” Finn laughed. “Do you know how many times you’ve made these this week? Ok I’m on egg, you take the breadcrumbs, Tremzy.”

And so they did. Finn formed the balls, Leo sitting across from them and approving the size and shape of each before he would dip the ball in egg and then place it into the dish with bread crumbs in it. Logan would shower it in breadcrumbs and line them up on a tray. A pot of oil was starting to sizzle on the stove. Logan and Finn gave each other an eggy and crumby high five when all the balls were coated and lined, and laughed as they cleaned up the space for Leo to start frying. After Leo struggled with the first few, they found another pattern of Finn helping to stabilise the ball onto a slotted spoon that Leo used to slowly lower them into the oil, and Logan had a paper towel and cooling rack lined tray right beside Leo to roll the balls off onto. Leo hardly needed to take a step, and their five hands worked in tandem, like a coordinated dance, music playing in the background and the trees waving through the window, for nearly an hour while they fried all the boudin balls.

Leo laughed in relief when he set the last one on the cooling tray. “Wow, that was probably ridiculous to watch, but we make a good team.” He took Logan under his arm and gave Finn a gentle fist bump with the other. “I appreciate y’all helping me.”

“Nothing else we’d rather do,” Logan said. “What’s next?”

Leo rolled his shoulders back, thinking. “Plate the coleslaw into one of the pretty pottery bowls, grill the veg, thank the lord they’re already chopped, cut the cornbread into cute squares and plate them, plate the boudin balls and the sauce, and I think that’s it.”

Finn shook his head, laughing. “I want to eat all of it right now,” he clapped his hands together. “Ok, chop chop then!”

Leo levelled him with a serious look. “No chopping jokes, thank you very much.”

Finn rested his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Ok, no problem. I’ll cut it out.”

Logan and Leo both groaned. “I’ll do dishes and get the stuff from the fridge,” Logan said with an eye roll.

“I’ll get the veggies all out to the barbeque, and then come back in and cut the bread,” Finn laughed.

“No, I want to cut the cornbread. I’m fine, I can do it,” Leo protested. Finn agreed, reluctantly and they all set to their tasks. Leo supervised and advised and chose which dishes to use, and set a few more aside in case the photographer wanted options, and it was generally organised chaos until everything was sitting arrayed on the kitchen island and they stood there proudly, nothing left to do.

“Leo,” Finn sighed. “It smells and looks so good. I can’t even believe we have to wait for the pictures to be done to get to eat it all.”

Leo just laughed and stretched his arms above his head. “I’m so nervous, and I can’t smell anything anymore. What if it’s all gross,” he groaned. Logan shook his head and shoved him towards the door, both of them going upstairs to change into fresh clothes.

Pandora arrived like a summer breeze, warm and airy and kind. She exclaimed over the smells and the house and the view. She started clicking photos and jotting down notes about the recipes almost the minute she arrived. Finn and Logan retreated to the dining table to give them space, and just watched Leo describe the food animatedly, watched him and Pandora arrange and rearrange the dishes. Moving them into and out of the dappled light coming through the windows. Beside the pretty backsplash, on the wood floor, then brought some of the dishes outside to photograph with a natural background.

Logan scooted his chair right beside Finn’s. “Look at him smile, he’s so happy,” he sighed.

Finn smiled back, responding to Logan’s bright smile. “Yeah, he’s really really good at this.”

“Ouais, he’s just so good overall? He’s amazing. I’m so lucky.”

“Yeah, he’s the best,” Finn agreed, the words so true he hadn’t thought to hold them back until they were out. He turned to Logan with a moment of worry that Logan wouldn’t like him saying that. But Logan was just looking at him softly.

“You’re pretty amazing too, Finn. Thank you so much for this week. It’s been so nice, to be somewhere this beautiful, this chill, with Leo,” he gestured out the door, then turned back to Finn, “with you.”

Finn crooked a smile at him. “Well I can’t take much credit for any of the beauty around here. Thank my parents, and like, the gardener I guess.” He was trying to downplay, but also couldn’t tear his gaze away from Logan’s. Logan was looking right back at him. He had a ring of hazel brown at the centre of his green eyes, only there when you were looking this closely, in the bright natural light of the kitchen. Finn could look at these eyes for hours, the colour was so deep and velvety. And then there were his lips. They were a bit dry, but such a full, perfect shape. Finn couldn’t look away and when he glanced back up to Logan’s eyes he saw that Logan was looking at him just as intently and for the second time today his heart sped up and heat spread up his neck. Two people, so different, but both so extraordinary, his heart felt like it was growing, making more room.

“I think you can take some credit,” Logan said lowly. What had they been talking about? “You are so generous, Finn. So fun to be around. This week, with you, has been really special.” Logan was even closer now, again, and Finn could now feel his breath gently against his skin, soft and sweet.

Pandora and Leo bustled back into the room, talking animatedly. Finn bounced away from Logan, and Logan sat back more slowly, smiling over at Leo. Finn stiffened, and stayed stiff the rest of the night. He didn’t let himself reach across Logan for the coleslaw, didn’t take Leo’s hand to inspect when he asked how his finger was feeling. He did everything he could to avoid the gravity that was pulling him towards Leo and Logan. They ate, and laughed. With his parents and Pandora at the table too, the conversation was free and easy even as Finn’s heart was tight and guilt gnawed at him. Pandora left, effervescent with praise for Leo and excited discussion about sharing and editing the photos. Finn’s parents shooed the boys from the kitchen, saying they would clean up tonight. Logan and Leo packed up and before Finn knew it they were all standing outside the front door, near where he had first seen Logan again for the first time in years, just 10 days ago. He melted a little into Leo’s deep hug, unable to stop himself from absorbing the sunshiney heat Leo’s presence always brought. Then Logan stepped forwards and part of Finn wanted to bolt, but as images of lowly lit study rooms and Harvard greens passed through his mind, he took Logan into his arms and inhaled deeply with his nose in Logan’s neck.

“It was so good to see you again, Tremzy,” Finn said, his voice shaky.

“You too Finn. This was, well this was the best surprise. And the best week.” Finn pulled away, knowing he was dangerously close to tears.

“Thanks for having us,” Logan said.

“No problem,” Finn said, overly bright. His eyes were stinging. “Anytime!”

He felt Leo and Logan’s gaze travel over him and he held himself tall and smiling, waving until they were in their Uber and driving away. Then he collapsed onto the front step, head in his hands as one ragged sob escaped his chest. They were so good, and here he was, wanting both of them.

I’m such a monster.

#characters by lumosinlove #coast to coast #o'knutzy #fic-o-ween 2023 #Hamptons au #cw blood #cw minor injury #second last part!!!

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