#seriously been in my head all day

[badkarma1998]

This has been in my head ALL DAY

Based on this post

[ceaselessly-mad]

Based on this first comic:

So I had some people feeling sorry for Eddie in my previous comic (about a silly scenario where he had to deliver all those Wally Makeship plushies), so I figured I'd fix it here for the Barnaby ones!

...this is what y'all wanted, right?

Also a bonus, because I think Howdy would absolutely make his nephews deliver them

I mean, he made them work during Homewarming for crying out loud!

[iskalldaily]

Leakskall in today's stream...

[brown-little-robin]

just had an extraordinarily vivid dream that my family (with the exception of me) decided to go to Japan for the summer/fall with their closest friends, and they left me alone in charge of our empty house without even asking if I wanted to go too, and

[modernlovez]

Well now that I’ve been beaned in the head at work I’m home for a few days so maybe I can possibly get art done

[raykarr]

I HAVE A HEAD

[recitedemise]

Before I get on to some replies, I am sat here trying to digest all my thoughts again nearly 1 year after leaving my abusive ex.

And what struck me is how absolutely racist they were and are.

It doesn't escape me that their last two exes (including me) were Asian. It doesn't escape me that they consume a lot of Asian media. It doesn't escape me that, one time, they came to me to vent about their ex before me, upset people said they had an asian fetish when their ex 'was tan and aggressive' when, if they really had an asian fetish, they'd go for a pale and more meek person.

It doesn't escape me that after they would corner both me and their ex before me to absolute mental breaks where we would retaliate with anger that they would call us aggressive abusers. It doesn't escape me that I tried breaking up with them countless times, was begged to stay because 'I was the only thing that made them happy' and that 'they wouldn't know what to do without me'. It doesn't escape me that when we did FINALLY break up because THEY allowed it, they told me that we should break up because 'they can't be with someone with such inordinate anger' when, in my last attempt to break up with them, I tried breaking up for 4 hours. Straight.

The last break up attempt came after they blew up at me and my friends. I was so stressed out with this constant abuse, and them freaking out so royally was too much. They then asked me to go on a trip to see them because it would be good for our relationship. They said I didn't have to, though, and because I wasn't ready to see them after everything, all the crying, all the breaking down in parking lots, all the driving lost and in tears and sitting on the side of a highway for hours just wailing, I said no. I'm not ready.

They then got so upset and kept going 'well, you went to see your other friends. I don't come down there that often. I came to see you when I was upset. I was really looking forward to this. If you don't want to go, then you don't. I don't need you there to bring down the mood.' They said they weren't guilt tripping me, by the way.

Fed up, I finally had enough. I said we're breaking up. It isn't my first time wanting to break up either because I would constantly capitulate when they crossed my boundaries and ignored my discomfort and desires. But I would capitulate because they NEVER took no for an answer, and I was too weak to stand my ground, and I would always just want the talking to end. I was consistently overstimulated and gave up.

So. I tried breaking up one last time, and again: distress.

4 hours of me saying 'I want to break up. That's final.'

4 hours of them going 'no, please. Why? I'm so confused. I wasn't guilt tripping you. I don't know where you see that?'

4 hours of them going 'please stay with me. Please water the seeds of our love.'

4 hours of calls and constant texts.

4 hours of them going 'I know you love me still somewhere. You used to love me. You can learn to love me again.'

4 hours where they wrote me letters and sent them to me during their therapy session.

4 hours of never listening to me when I said 'I think I feel better/healthier away from you.'

4 hours of them telling me they thought I was in therapy and that I have to keep going to love them again. Ignoring the fact that I was in therapy primarily because of my distress being in this relationship. Them denying the possibility that my health, I realized, was better without them, and them refusing to allow me that space.

4 hours of repeatedly disrespecting my desires and boundaries for their own comfort.

4 hours where I finally blew up and called them stupid and annoying, something they threw back at me as proof of my 'inordinate anger' when they finally agreed to the break up 3 DAYS LATER.

Yeah. I guess Asians are all docile and sweet. They just happened to end up with the two that weren't. I say this all very sarcastically, but how unfortunate.

And after all that, they told their friend, who later came to me saying they were trying to do a nice and good thing for us with which I blew up at and that I was exceptionally cruel.

Okay. I guess good people just suck it up always, huh, and have no boundaries ever? I shoulda been super sweet and did whatever they wanted for the millionth time at the cost of my own sanity. Why not! I'm disposable in comparison, after all! Sucks I missed the memo!

[tj-crochets]

Good news: after a lot of weeks, my air conditioner is fixed!! Also good news: I caught an error in the software at work that was impacting both contractor pay and customer invoicing! Bad news: going through large amounts of data loosely falls under the purview of the department I am now sort of in charge of, which meant my department (which is me and two other people) had to individually open every single order from [specific subset of customers] since the beginning of the year to manually check if either error had occurred. Hundreds of orders, even with a few different criteria we could use to narrow it down. It's done though! I mean the error is not fixed but previous instances of it causing problems are caught and now that we know it exists we can catch future problems before they are invoiced/paid out I have done zero crafting today and I honestly doubt I will get any done lol

[whump-queen]

begging someone to hold a gun to my head so my brain will finally make me do my dishes, laundry, vacuuming, job applications, emails, messages,, just to get anything done at all without constantly wanting to die

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[a-lonely-dunedain]

.

[cowboyshit]

in case you guys don’t see me around much these next few weeks, I am most likely going to be putting myself on a sort of hiatus. I’m struggling to enjoy my time in the online wrestling community lately, and I think a large part of it just has to do with some general irritability I’m dealing with that’s making it harder to brush off things that I’m normally good at ignoring. well, that and my computer going so downhill that even making the smallest of gifsets is taking way too much time these days, which always bums me out a bit. I may only be away for a week or two, but I’m actually hoping to step away for a solid month. we’ll see. 💗

[stonesandswords]

.

[byanyan]

ㅤㅤ" for real, though... forfeit all mortal possessions to byan. "

[arvoze]

the power i will receive in a matter of days will be astounding. watch out

[lateseptemberdawn]

Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew