#seriously i... had to read this a couple times to fully process it haha

[corishadowfang]

Fallen Stars Fic Notes

So, Fallen Stars has officially come to a close. It's been a pretty wild ride, haha; as per usual, it spiraled out of my control, length-wise (surpassing Dandelion Seeds...remember how I said I hoped I'd never write anything that long again? Yeah. That worked out.), but I'm happy (and pleasantly surprised) that so many people came on the journey with me.

So! As seems to be tradition now, I have some notes for the fic. Some behind-the-scenes stuff, some thoughts about post-canon--stuff like that! Putting it under a read more, because these tend to get long.

So as usual, we'll start with the playlist! This one I ended up doing a lot of playing around with, haha; there were several songs where it's like, "The vibes are right...but do they fit this moment/this character in the story? Does the order work? Should I use song x or song y?" I eventually ended up with something I'm relatively happy with, haha, even if not every song fits perfectly. There are actually a lot of honorable mentions for this one (since I, you know...played around with it so much) but probably the biggest are: Guilt by Nathan Wagner, Monster from Epic the Musical, Fight the Tide by Jonathan Young and Colm McGuinness, and Southern Star by Gregory Alan Isakov.

(Seriously, Fight the Tide was put on and taken off the playlist so many times--)

I know I've mentioned this places before, but: sometime circa summer 2021, I was thinking about doing a story following Brain through his time in Scala ad Caelum. Basically, it'd be a short (like--nine-ish chapters) series that explored Brain's grief and guilt and how he eventually adjusted to being in Scala. The story would've been called "May We Find Our Happiness," and was planned to be worked on once both On the Edge of Daybreak and Dandelion Seeds were finished. ...And then Missing Link was announced, and I went, "Oh! That's going to be explored in canon! I don't have to write it myself!" and the idea was shelved.

And THEN. Fast forward to winter 2023. It's...without going into too much detail, my mental state was Not Great. And I tend to process/cope with things by...well, writing. And...well, what better way to work out things than by using two of my favorite characters? The thought for this "proto-Fallen Stars" was that it would be a what-if AU for what would've happened if Skuld had ended up in Scala, and that it would follow Brain's and Skuld's entire lives through that time period. Despite the premise, this was also intended to be a relatively short series--roughly four to five chapters. It was intended to explore the idea that like--sometimes you don't heal fully from things, and your life doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, but that doesn't mean you can't find happiness despite everything. ...And then I started writing the first chapter. And ran face first into Plot (i.e. the corrupt council). And very abruptly realized, "Oh, no. Oh, no, this is going to be LONG. And...probably not focus entirely on the time period I want it to." And so I shelved it. Again.

AND THEN. The Missing Link impatience was getting to me, haha. And there were a lot of ideas from both of the "proto" versions of the story that were genuinely very interesting to me from a writing perspective. And then I made this post (and a couple of follow-ups) with the hopes that it could satisfy the writing demons. ...It did not. So I went back, finished (and revamped) the original first chapter, and posted it. And, well--here we are!

The current iteration of Fallen Stars really does take a lot of inspiration from its predecessors. Darkling!Brain was actually the planned end for "May We Find Our Happiness" (though he wouldn't have died in that version; his new-found friends would've pulled him out of it, though he'd keep the gold eyes, like in Fallen Stars), the corrupt council's been a staple since the beginning, and obviously, the AU takes the same basic premise as proto-Fallen Stars.

I knew Fallen Stars was going to be longer than the initial ideas I had, but like...I still didn't expect it to be this long. Like--roughly 30 chapters, and about half the word count. Let it be known that I cannot accurately estimate a story (or chapter's) length, ever.

While there were certain Big Things that I had planned since the beginning (ex. Brain's death and resurrection), there were also things that ended up getting made up on the fly and/or cut because it seemed like it'd work better for the story. One of the big things is that, originally, Master's Defender was going to be used to help create the Land of Departure; essentially, during Darkness's attack, one of the abandoned islands would've split off from the world, and Brain would've used Master's Defender to chain it back together, so to speak, and give the Scalan refugees somewhere to go. That was cut because it felt like it would make Brain a little less desperate to make his sacrifice, and after that, it ended up feeling...kind of out of place? Plus, I felt like I hadn't done a good enough job foreshadowing that (though you can find some hints, if you're looking).

(The world they end up does still end up becoming the Land of Departure, though.)

Also, Luxu was originally going to be possessing Lodur. (Which is why time seems to slow down around him whenever things get intense! And also plays into the "narrator" thing--Lodur is a storykeeper, after all.) I'll leave it up to all of you guys to decide whether you want Lodur to be Sigurd's deceased brother, Sigurd to have been wrong about Luxu taking his brother's body, or for "Lodur is Luxu's vessel" to be non-canon.

While I finally decided to leave it out, I did think about doing an epilogue. I played around with a lot of different ideas for how that'd go, but it generally fell into three basic ideas: 1) Skuld, Brain, and the rest of the crew roughly a decade after the end of Fallen Stars, 2) Xehanort and Eraqus (as like...five-year-olds) interacting with the remaining crew, or 3) Ven and Lauriam finding stories about Skuld and Brain in the distant future. I do like all of these, but I ended up feeling like it kind of...glossed over how much time it'd take for them to repair Scala and heal, so I ended up going with the current ending instead--which is hopeful, but still leaves room for the struggles that may follow.

THAT SAID. There's a non-zero chance some of those epilogues may show up as one-shots. I like the idea of exploring some post-canon scenarios in the Fallen Stars-verse (in particular, the first year after everything, since there's...a lot that the main crew go through). That said, I'm also not going to promise anything on that front, since it'll largely depend on my time/energy levels/inspiration.

(Also, feel free to ask me about post-canon stuff, in case I never get around to writing things; a lot of stuff changes around, haha, but I do have Ideas.)

"Do you want to hear a story?" has been planned as the final lines for a long time, haha. One, because it acts as a nice book-end for the story. Two, because it's kind of like...symbolic. Skuld is the one who said it, and is the only character besides Luxu to (kind of) break the fourth wall, so this was like...representative of her taking control of her own story. (This is also, for the record, why the "Do you want to hear a story?" narrator parts don't show up again after chapter 40; Skuld is the narrator now.)

The title was actually going to be the name of the first chapter. I was struggling to find a title I liked (I didn't want to use "May We Find Our Happiness" since, uh...that ended up as a chapter title for On the Edge of Daybreak, when I still thought I wouldn't do a story in Scala), and ended up brainstorming ideas for the chapter title instead. I'd landed on "Fallen Stars" because like--Brain and Skuld were "fallen stars" in the sense that a lot of people who are displaced from fallen worlds in the KH series tend to, uh...fall out of the sky, but also in the sense that they were legends who were, very suddenly, being made human in the eyes of Scala. And then it hit me that, "Wait...that'd work great for a fic name." And then it was repurposed, haha.

And...I will probably cut off the notes there, haha. Fallen Stars has been fun to work on, and it's weird to think that it's finished (unless, of course, I end up doing those one-shots). Thank you for coming on this ride with me; I hope you've enjoyed it!

[bogkeep]

foreign country ask game: 8, 29, 18?

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

every scandinavian gets confused with which scandinavian country they're from, so i've been mistaken for swedish or danish by Everyone Outside Of Scandinavia plenty of times haha. also finnish - when i worked a couple summer seasons at a café up in northern norway, all of my coworkers were finns and a lot of the bus drivers and visitors were finns, so they all spoke finnish at me assuming i too, would understand.

an interesting twist is how many norwegians have thought i'm foreign! which is half true, since my mother is czech and i speak the language and all that, but a lot of people have had some kind of HMMM YOU DON'T SEEM FULLY NORWEGIAN WHERE ARE YOU FROMMMMM attitude towards me. is it the autism? sometimes it's because people don't understand how my name is theodor and think it must be a feminine name in another language. so it goes. maybe it's the dialect thing, which leads me to -

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

i do! norway has really distinct and diverse dialects which makes anyone speaking Correct Bokmål sound like an alien (oslo isn't real. oslo can't hurt me). where i was born, the Far North, has a very distinct and beautiful dialect that has a saami/finnish lilt to it, but since my family moved south when i was like 4 years old i wasn't able to hold on to it. this can probably be said for every archetypical norwegian dialect, but the trøndelag area dialect is often imitated for comedic purposes and it always felt to me like it doesn't get taken very seriously and just got this unfortunate vibe to it. when Baby Haiz tried to pick up on a lot of words and sounds from local kindergarteners, adults tended to point out changes in my speech which made me really self-conscious about it, which in turn made me try to NOT pick up on the dialect, leading me with a sort of washed out trønder dialect with traces of northern influence and a LOT of internalized shame about it. didn't help when middle school classmates would laugh at me for the way i intonated words like 'corn' or something. AUTISM NIGHTMARE. everyone from the south read me as a trønder, people in trøndelag can be a bit 50/50 on it, and people from northern norway somehow clock my remnants of finnmarking. and i just repeat 'hæ?' at everyone regardless where they're from because i've got ~*Auditory Processing Disorder*~

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

not that i know of tbh! i do think northern norway as a whole harbors some easily warranted bitterness from being neglected by the government in the south and having to suffer stupid political decisions made by people in oslo who have no idea what it's like up there, but that's... normal country stuff probably hahaha

[kanmom51]

Do you ever just sit and ask yourself what if I'm wrong about jikook? I'm not am anti I promise. I just have a hard time letting go of certain things I fixate on and I guess bts and jikook have become one of those fixations. And my brain just can't get over the hump of thinking what if we're wrong? And I get a weird sinking feeling. And I know I shouldn't be this attached to the potential relationship of two strangers haha.

So I guess I'm just wondering how you deal with not knowing for sure yet still attaching so much emotions and research into jikook as a couple. Would it be easy for you to just let it go if it came out they're not a thing? Is so how do you train yourself to make it easy?

I think I would really have to reevaluate my deductive skills and my reasoning if I turn out to be wrong cause it just seems like they are together. But then there are so many taekookers just as convinced. I seriously sit and wonder if I'm just delulu but for jikook and not taekook. And it would make me feel so stupid.

Oh and also if there's no doubt in your mind, how are you so sure? Because I have doubts as high as a skyscraper one day then another day I'm super sure they're together haha.

I will tell you a little secret about myself anon, but please don't tell everyone, this is between the two of us:

I have a little bit of an obsessive personality. Not obsessive crazy as shit personality, but the type of personality that when I latch on to something that I find interesting, I will dissect it to bits, and if it's a mystery, even better.

It's kind of what made me good at my job.

Prior to the pandemic I was all about Disney, Disney world, Disneyland. Ask me anything about Disney World (prior pandemic) I knew it. It was my happy place, the thing that brought me joy (apart from my loved ones, of course). I even ran my own Blog. I follow most of the Disney World bloggers, and used to watch their clips daily, as much as work and family could allow it. I even had a DW trip fully planned and booked for Sep 2020 (which went kaput). Family is similarly obsessed with everything Harry Potter and Marvel equally.

Yes, slightly obsessed.

The pandemic put a stop to the Disney World blogging, and so then came BTS. With BTS came my interest in these two members that interactions seemed to be 'different', et voila, a new mystery, a puzzle, if you want, for me to find it's pieces and try to build.

While diving into this new mystery I came to learn more about all the members and gained a real appreciation for who they are as human beings and what they stand for. I also found a bit of me in JK's personality, I feel I see him, in a way, understand some of the struggles he faces and understand his behaviours.

Imagine my joy to discover they are into Disney, Harry Potter and Marvel too...

All this and I haven't yet answered you questions anon, lol.

Why this long ass prologue though?

To explain my thought process, the reason I got into Jikook, and why I'm still here. I didn't read a tweet (couldn't if I wanted to, not being on Twitter) and decided Jikook are real. I didn't watch a Jikook clip on YT and decide Jikook are real.

I notices something different between those two, latched on and went digging. But that wasn't all of it. The more I got into it, I learnt about skinship, a bit of Korean culture, shipping and more so about the other ships within BTS, and went looking to see, maybe, just maybe I am getting things wrong. The more I went looking the more I saw just how different Jikook were to the others.

From everything I've watched, from the digging I've done, from the content I have seen (original content, not edited and twisted content), I have come to my conclusion that that JM & JK are a couple. That is what I believe.

Saying that, unless JM & JK 'come out' and announce it publicly, or something to that extent, I can never be 100% sure.

Do I have doubts? Of course I do. Not as much and as often as some Jikook's seem to have, but I do need, once in a while, to look back, re-watch content, do a bit of re-evaluation, a bit of reminding too, as to what made me believe in the first place. Isn't that only natural?

It's actually quite healthy to do that once in a while, at the end of the day it only strengthens my beliefs as to what is going on between those two.

I think though that what makes the difference for me anon is that I'm not a shipper. I don't see myself as a shipper. It's not "oh, they look good together I want to fantasize about that" or "I think they are together and to hell with reality". I didn't even know what shipping was before I entered this fandom. I saw two young men that I felt had this pull towards each other and went with it, and that brought me here.

Will I be upset if they turn around and say they aren't together? No, not really.

I'm here to support a couple of lovely young men that I feel love each other and have to hide who they are and who they love because of the industry and society the are part of.

If I am wrong, then be it.

They are lovely, positive, talented human being, who have worked so hard to get where they are today. All I wish for them is to be happy, because I feel they deserve it.

I am not emotionally invested in them being a couple. This is super important to make clear, and I think that if as a fan you find yourself in that place you need to take a step back and re-evaluate things.

Yes to love and support. Yes to follow and be happy for them. No to be emotionally swayed by every single thing they do or don't do. No to basing your own happiness on what goes or doesn't go on between them.

Will my pride be bruised if at the end of the day my sleuth abilities will be proven wrong, hell yeah, lol.

Will I be sad or disappointed or hurt or angry if at the end of the day I am proven wrong? No way.

All I wish for them is to be happy. Wherever it may be or whoever it may be that they find that happiness with.

[ri-ahhh]

can u just give me mushy gushy shit with grayson like ethan has a girl over so the two of you decide to go out for a burger date and a walk at night? idk something like that pls 👉🏻👈🏻

A/N: I couldn’t even tell you how long this has been sitting in my drafts but I was looking through trying to find something to finish bc I was in the mood to write but not from scratch and found this lol. It was about halfway done and I have no idea where I was going with it but this is what it turned into as of today. Idek if there’s even anyone around here anymore to read this but whatever haha here it is.

You don’t usually mind being single. Even when your best friend/roommate Stella started seeing her boyfriend Charlie seriously, it didn’t give you any longing for a relationship of your own.

But there are some nights where you feel down and you just can’t handle it. The scenes of casual intimacy as soon as you get home and see them together — the vase of flowers on the kitchen island he must have brought over; the playful bickering across the room.

The incessant, unrelenting sound of a marathon session going on through the shared wall of your and Stella’s bedrooms.

You groan and turn the volume up on your AirPods, going straight to your messages next.

Wyd?

{G} 👀

Don’t be weird.

Pretty sure Stella and Charlie are trying to put a hole in the wall w her headboard and I can’t take it anymore.

Your roommate chooses that moment to let out a particularly enthusiastic “fuck!” If she weren’t your best friend, you might have given in to the urge to bang on the wall, but your phone lights up with Grayson’s reply anyway.

{G} E too.

{G} I mean like I can’t hear him but ik what’s going down in there

{G} I’d offer to pick u up but sounds like u need to get outta there lol. Meet me here?

You like the message and slip on some shoes, making sure to slam your bedroom door closed on your way out, as if it would make them pause even one thrust.

In the year that you’ve known him, Grayson Dolan has become one of your closest friends. The kind where you met as acquaintances, never talked much, but then you reconnected randomly and the conversation never stopped from there on. You talk about anything and everything, but recently you’ve bonded even more about being a perpetual third wheel. You knew he’d understand and not pass judgement on you in times like this, so it had been a no-brainer to text him as an escape from tonight.

He buzzes you into the gate when you get to his house, and he tells you over another text to go ahead and hop in the Porsche before he even gets outside. It makes you smile; night drives are your favorite, and while the Tesla is a vibe in its own right, there’s just something calming about someone (your attractive friend, no less) tangibly driving you around. It’s exactly what you need right now, no matter what destination he has in mind.

When he slides into the driver’s side not even a minute later, you’re almost overwhelmed by him. Looking far too good in your eyes for how casual he’s dressed in a well-fitting T-shirt and some grey sweats. Hair slightly damp from a recent shower.

He greets you with a grin and leans over the console to kiss your cheek, and you can smell the combination of his shampoo and a bit of cologne. You always appreciated that he doesn’t overdo the fragrance, and if possible it makes him even more intoxicating at times.

“Hey,” he says simply, sitting back in his seat and fastening the seatbelt.

“Hey.” You smile and watch him with a silent but fairly obvious appreciation as he reaches a hand to rest on the back of your seat, twisting the bit he needs to look out the back windshield. The Porsche has a backup camera, obviously, but he’s a cautious driver to a fault and insists he doesn’t fully trust them.

Grayson gets the car facing enough of the right direction to throw it in drive and exit down the long driveway. You shake your head and settle back, kicking off your shoes with a sigh and tucking your feet onto the seat beneath you.

“One day, we’ll be the ones making them leave the house,” he jokes, stopping for the gate to open.

You know it’s implied that he’s referring to the two of you with separate people, but you can’t help but consider the option that the two of you could make that happen together.

“I know for a fact you have a booty call list a mile long, Dolan,” you say with a raised brow. Despite the fleeting thought, keeping things lighthearted and platonic is much easier to deal with in reality. “You could have called one of them and done just that.”

He scoffs and pretends like you’ve just hurt him deeply, slapping a hand to his burly chest to clutch at his heart. “Excuse me, it is not a mile long.” He glances over at you with a held-back smirk. “A couple hundred yards, tops.”

You throw your head back with a loud cackle, looking out the window now as he turns onto the main road. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Damn, that’s a big word.” He likes to tease you about your extended vocabulary.

“Hopeless,” you elaborate, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes.

“Is that what that word means, or are you making fun of my high school dropout vocab?”

“Both.”

You let your head roll back against the headrest, turning to watch him, knees swayed to the side a bit. His form isn’t hidden in the dark at all, features lit up by the dash in front of him and the streetlights you’re passing by outside.

“Why didn’t you, then? Call one of them?”

Grayson shrugs. “Just didn’t really feel like spending time with people tonight.”

You’re silent for a moment and consider his answer. “Why did you agree to hang out, then? You didn’t have to.”

His eyes never leave the road, but you see the veins in his hand gripping the steering wheel bulge out for a moment as he squeezes it tightly.

“I guess I meant I didn’t want to spend time with people I don’t really care about.”

Your heart skips a beat, but you play it off with a sarcastic tone. “Aw, you care about me?”

“Of course I do,” he replies easily. “I’m not sure why, though. You’re so fuckin sassy sometimes.”

“You love it.”

The car rolls to a stop at a red light. Grayson’s hand slides from where it’s lightly gripping the gear shift, to yours, which is picking at a loose string on your leggings.

Your easy smile at the comfortable banter between you and Grayson falters some in surprise, but you let him turn your palm over and trace the lines of your hand softly. Both of your gazes are fixated on the way he tickles your skin when he says, “Yeah. I do.”

Your eyes shoot up, just in time to meet his. He looks at you with a weird mixture heat and vulnerability, and there’s a thick moment of silence, no longer than the single beat of your heart that you can hear thudding loud and clear in your ears, when suddenly the car behind you lays on the horn.

Both of you startle, and Grayson’s attention returns to the road ahead. He steps on the gas and takes his hand away, carding it through his hair roughly as you sink back into your seat with a disbelieving scoff.

“Oh my God, dude, you can’t just do that to me,” you blurt out, your heart in your stomach and your brain even lower. A helpless giggle escapes you, and you tug on your own locks. “Shit...”

“What?” he asks defensively, but you hear the tiny bit of the grin he’s wearing in his voice.

You turn your head to deadpan him, eyes wide. “You can’t just... imply something like that and give me sex eyes and not think you did something to me! Are you crazy?”

He gives a one-shouldered shrug with the arm resting on top of the steering wheel again. “Maybe. You’re proving my ��sassy’ point all over again.”

“Oh my — don’t fuck with my head, Gray.”

“Hey.” His voice is deeper, more serious as the car comes to another stop. You’re only just now realizing you’ve reached the burger joint, and that the late hour made finding parking a nonexistent problem. He puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt before doing the same to yours. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to fuck with your head, I promise. I just... didn’t want it to seem like I was coming on too strong too suddenly. I, uh, have a history of doing that.”

You stare at him, processing everything. “I know.”

He chuckles dryly. “Yeah, I know you do.”

There’s more silence. That heavy kind that happened right after his little impromptu confession.

“You know,” you finally speak up, finding your voice after mulling over your words, “I kinda love that you’re a douche.”

He looks a little taken aback, until understanding dawns on him, and his eyes light up in a way that has you smiling instantly with him. “Really?”

You nod. “Call me crazy.”

Grayson shifts closer in his seat, his pink tongue darting out to lick those plump lips. You mirror him, and this time you take the initiative to reach out for his hand. It’s warm and strong, just like the rest of him.

Like earlier, you watch your hands lightly caressing each other as you speak. “And I love that you come on strong. And that you put your heart out there.” You interlace your fingers, immediately in love with the contrast of his huge ones between your slim ones. “Makes things way easier for me.”

He grins wide. “There’s that sass again.”

You bite your lip through your smirk and tug him close to you with your clasped hands, your free one reaching behind his neck to drag his lips to yours. “Mm. Better shut me up, then.”

[girl-in-the-tower]

Idia and Vita 3, 5, 6, 10, 12, 13, 15, 16, 21

3. Describe their relationship dynamic.

I want to say that they’re a mix between a gamer couple and a goth one, haha.

Though more seriously, they’re the sort of stable relationship that gets stronger with time I would say, in that they both understand each other so well they function very well when they have to be in sync. They both consider the other to be that one person who gets where they’re coming from, but also to hold them accountable when they mess up. Idia knows quite well that Vita won’t let him get away with anything if she thinks he’s in the wrong, and neither will he hold back from criticizing her if he thinks it’s deserved. They exchange banter quite often. It’s not unusual to see them trash talk each other, even when they’re on the same team since they can be quite competitive.

They both push each other to improve in subtle ways. Because they’re both geniuses they tend to have a lot of conversations where they’re play-fighting ideas, trying to find the flaw in the other’s argument and this often helps them look at things from different perspectives. Their fields of expertise are quite different but they do make an effort to keep up with the other’s research.

Vita tends to be the more dominant one simply because she has a more forceful personality in general. She knows what she wants and how to get it and won’t let anybody get in her way, which usually means that she leads and Idia follows. At least on the surface. In private they tend to be on equal terms since they feel more at ease, but Idia doesn’t complain about letting Vita be in charge when they’re out in public. It means that he can avoid talking with other people, after all. Or at least that is what it should mean theoretically, but instead, Vita keeps nagging him about being more confident and self-assured. She is a proponent of tough love.

Vita also tends to be the more physically affectionate one between the two of them, though usually in private. In public, she mostly sticks to teasing him instead. Though Idia claims to find it annoying and unwelcome, he doesn’t really tell her to back off either and even returns her affections occasionally when he gets around his self-conscious nature. It’s quite usual for Larna and Ortho to catch Vita playing with Idia’s hair, or Idia massaging her shoulders when they’re gaming together.

Their online gaming friends usually joke that they’re a package deal - MoodySamurai and IronQueen. Their coordination is scary to behold since it almost looks like they’re reading each other’s minds, knowing exactly what the other needs even before they ask for it. They tend to share their victories and even other aspects of their gaming lives - such as both of them usually getting into the same types of games. Though when it comes to gacha games they tend to have vastly different tastes and get quite competitive with one another too.

Because they’ve known each other for so long, they find it easier to be honest with the other and as a result understand the other better than themselves at times. They take their status as equals quite serious too, though they do have one major source of constant conflict: Ortho’s existence. Vita is rather wary of the young boy which Idia finds distressing, but even though they agreed not to bring this subject up again it still continues to bother them. They know they should talk about it, but Idia’s aversion towards conflict, coupled with Vita’s tendency to default to supporting Idia in situations of such importance means that they haven’t resolved anything yet.

5. How would they describe each other?

Idia often says that Vita is like the villainess of an otome game: haughty, arrogant and needlessly cruel. She tends to look down on others and criticize them as she sees fit, though he also doesn’t seem to find that a bad thing either. Idia would also remark on Vita’s intelligence and drive, which he might criticize as too much for an otaku like him, but he does think her driven nature suits her well. He has admitted more than once that when it comes to knowledge regarding medicine and the human body she’s an expert. He also notes that she’s very attractive, often in comparison to himself, and would then follow up by saying that based on looks they’re not matched well at all.

Vita often defaults to praising all of Idia’s qualities - by which she means the things she herself finds attractive in him, such as his intelligence and devious nature. She is especially fond of his occasionally haughty outbursts and encourages him to be more open with his opinions just to catch a glimpse of it. She finds his interests endearing too, especially his enthusiasm for his games and idol group. It does come across that she holds him in high regard even if she does end up criticizing him a lot and she also makes no secret of the fact that she’s smitten with his odd, ghoulish appearance. Idia isn’t sure if he should be flattered or not.

6. What do they love about each other?

They both admire each other’s intelligence, to be honest. The fact that they can keep up with the other’s thought process and understand their motivations to such an intimate degree while other people might find them difficult to interact with means that their bond is very strong. Not that they would really say this out loud, since Idia thinks only normies are so open with their feelings and Vita believes there is no point in stating the obvious. They each appreciate how devious the other can be since it means they can test out whatever plan they are considering right now by running it by the other, though given that they often do this by stating it’s “just a thought” it might lead to some arguments regardless.

Idia’s stubbornness is charming to Vita as well. She admires strong convictions, even if she does not necessarily agree with some specifically, and adores it when he starts to speak his mind without holding back. She’s also professed several times that she is in love with his odd appearance, the strangeness of it having a certain appeal to her and she makes it a point to compliment him on it as often as possible. Idia always claims she’s just making fun of him but this doesn’t really deter her at all. If she wants to speak her mind she will, regardless of his complaints. She’s known him long enough to be aware that underneath it all he does enjoy being praised like that and is simply putting up a front after all.

For Idia, Vita’s strong will and confidence are very attractive. He doesn’t want to admit it out loud, and often will deflect when asked about what he thinks her qualities are, but he feels more at ease knowing he has a mentally strong partner like her. She’s not prone to falling apart or displaying clinginess and for a hermit like him, it’s comforting to know that they can live independently from each other even when they are in a relationship. He doesn’t feel suffocated by the attention and that makes him appreciate her more. He also thinks that her appreciation for the macabre is oddly cute, though he isn’t sure what exactly it is that makes him think so.

10. What are their love languages?

For Vita, it’s Quality Time and Physical Touch! As long as she’s in Idia’s presence she feels content and at ease. They mostly just play video games or discuss various matters, personal or work-related. But given that Vita generally acts very facetious towards others, she finds such moments where she can be unapologetically truthful very relaxing. It also helps that when they’re gaming, Idia is usually too distracted by what’s happening on the screen to actually notice that she’s moved closer to him and by the time he does, Vita has already settled in her new seat and has no intention of leaving any time soon. It’s really at times like this that he can’t help but remark how cat-like she really is.

Idia likes Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts! He’s got a bit of an ego hidden under all that self-deprecation which usually comes out when he’s praised and makes him get a bit ahead of himself, and as Vita is acutely aware of how much he enjoys being complimented she makes sure to always chime in with a comment or two. It really makes him feel better to hear her say such things even if a big part of him still refuses to fully believe it. However, when it comes to gifts he’s more straightforward. Since Vita usually gets him merchandise of his favourite shows and/or idol group he tends to be very picky when it comes to the quality and appearance. It can be quite a handful buying gifts for him due to how high his demands usually are, but Vita has him figured out already so it has become increasingly easy during the years.

12. What would happen if they never met?

I’ve talked about this before, but if these two had never met, I believe Vita wouldn’t really have had the drive to go against her mother. She’d have continued to act and behave according to her expectations which would have led to her building up a lot of rage and resentment with no outlet for her feelings. She’d also have lacked any semblance of support and encouragement, as though Idia is not particularly good at cheering people up, he’s never commented negatively on her pursuits in a serious manner. He’s always let her behave as she saw fit, which in turn made her more eager to reclaim her independence. Had it not been for him, I think that she’d grown up to be really the opposite of herself thus much colder, more formal, very ladylike in all her behaviour and extremely intolerant of others. She’d never have befriended Agatha or even stayed too much in Idia’s presence. For her, he’d simply have been the disgusting heir of the Shroud family that they’d have to avoid.

For Idia, I think that Vita gives him another rock to lean on. Somebody who has his back and will not falter in front of any possible difficulties they might encounter. I think that is something that he really wants in his partner since he does tend to be the type who gives up easily if he encounters too much opposition. Having Vita at his side, makes him feel a little more confident in himself as there’s somebody on his side, but also keeps him in check since she refuses to let him fall by the wayside.

13. Who dies first? How does the other one react?

I’m thinking Vita dies first, most likely of old age. Idia feels like the world is coming to an end since he never imagined not having her in his life, though with the support of their children and Larna he manages to pull through. He respects her wishes to bury her in the family crypt but asks Mors to hold off reanimating her until he passes away as well since he knows he wouldn’t be able to deal with seeing his wife moving about but not recognizing him at all. He spends a lot of his days as an old man working and talking to a picture he has of her on his workbench, and when he also passes away he’s buried alongside her. At Morta’s request neither end up being reanimated, but just preserved, since she feels it would be better like this for both of them.

15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

I think their whole childhood together qualifies! As childhood friends, and due to having been engaged since young, they ended up spending a significant amount of time with each other which led to their present-day familiarity. They’re not sure how, but they somehow both became fixtures in the other’s life and thus had shared quite a few moments with each other.

Among the most significant ones had to be when Vita received Larna as an engagement present from the Shrouds. The puppy was a Jupiter Conglomerate breed that had its typically violent nature suppressed and would thus serve as a faithful companion instead. Its strength made it quite a formidable bodyguard as well, and his friendly nature towards her really surprised Vita. She had not been allowed any pets before as her mother considered them dirty and high-maintenance, but even she couldn’t actually refuse such an extravagant gift without bringing shame to the family.

Vita ended up bonding with the hellhound rather quickly, as did Larna to her and the two were inseparable after that. To Idia, who was also interested in the idea of a cool pet like that, it seemed incredibly unfair that Vita should have one when he didn’t. He ended up feeling quite resentful over it for a while, much to Vita and Ortho’s confusion, who weren’t sure why he seemed so out of sorts whenever he came over to the Dies mansion or Vita and Larna came over to theirs. Larna had shown quite a lot of interest in Idia as well, so it wasn’t like the dog was ignoring him, but Idia still seemed rather content with casting himself in a victim narrative. Moreover, it took Vita a while to realize what his issue was and once she did she proposed to him that they could share the dog. She would be the mother and he could be the father, so it would be like they were playing house together and he’ll have just as much claim over him as she did.

Though Idia took it mostly as a victory since he obtained what he wanted, to Vita is was more like a promise that they would stay together for a long time as hellhounds like Larna tend to live very long and often past their owners’ death. Idia agreeing to have co-ownership to the dog meant that he was willing to keep them both in his life for a long period of time, which to Vita, who had recently come around to the idea of being engaged to him, became a very pleasant notion. In a way, it was their own version of reinforcing their engagement even if Idia wasn’t entirely aware of the implications. Or if he was, he didn’t want to admit to them.

16. What do other characters think about this relationship?

Most are surprised to find out about their engagement, I imagine, and out of everybody, Ortho is perhaps the most supportive. He sees Vita as part of the family already and it makes him glad to see that Idia feels at ease around her and is more open and confident. Together they often end up trying to convince Idia to go outside more and interact with others.

Vita’s family is against the relationship, however, mostly on account that Vita’s mother fears that their reputation as the Death Mages will resurface once again due to their connection with the Shroud family. She vehemently opposed the union back when it was proposed and even now forbids Idia any access to their house or even the mention of his name. She would rather pretend that this whole relationship doesn’t exist.

Idia’s parents and Vita’s grandfather on the other hand regard this relationship as a very good opportunity to achieve what each of them wants. In the Dies’ case, they require financial support and a means of preserving their family traditions through any means necessary and the Shrouds can provide, while getting in return the secrets to transmutation that the Dies guard very carefully against prying eyes. To them, it’s a very fortuitous union since both sides are being happy with their situation now to a certain degree.

21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

Their fight during the Culture Festival at Night Raven College, I would say. Mostly because it is the one incident in which neither of them really backs down so it leads to a lot of tension and an exchange of words neither really mean, but can’t take back either. It causes a bit of a fracture in their relationship since they’re too prideful to admit that they messed up and once Vita says they won’t be able to see each other for a while it really leads to an even bigger misunderstanding between them, that only festers due to the events that take place in episode 6. Yet, in a way, this could have been a fortunate turn of events as well, due to the fact it means that both of them were forced to realize how much they care about the other.

Vita’s return home, made her realize that she misses the freedom she has with Idia, as well as the support he inadvertently gives her. When they’re together, Vita feels like she’s finally in control of her own situation and can conduct herself as she sees fit. She’s treated like an equal, like somebody who also has a voice and isn’t just a pawn to be shifted around at the behest of someone else. Without Idia, she feels like she’s lost her partner in crime and her support system.

Idia also realizes the many sacrifices that Vita has always made for him, and continues to make regardless. He’s always taken for granted the fact that she would be by his side, and now that he’s faced with the reality of it all, he isn’t sure how to proceed. Without Vita to keep him more grounded, he slips much easier into his tendency to disassociate with everything around him and indulge himself in his coping mechanisms. He hasn’t realized how much he needed and appreciated her presence and care until he had to do without it.

They really become more appreciative of each other after that.

[waywardfacegarden]

what’s your opinion of the last few chapters of ao no flag and how they fit in with the rest of the manga? 👀 (like do you think the ending was well set-up and satisfying?)

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!!!!!! I absolutely flipped of happiness when I got this ask, so thank you so much for sending it!!!! I love talking about things I love, and this manga is so criminally underrated imo, but I have SO MANY THOUGHTS!!! It’s nice having an excuse to rant about it, lol. Also, feel more than free to rant about this question, too, I would love to hear your opinion!!!

Here goes my way-too-long reply under the cut:

To be honest, I have a lot of thoughts about this manga but I’m too bad at expressing myself and articulating my opinions in a coherent way, so this is probably going to be pretty incoherent ajsdlashfldsf, my apologies in advance.

First of all, I have to state that I really like the ending!!!!!!! I totally understand that some people say it was rushed, but it wasn’t like that for me. At least, not in a way that made me feel like I wasted my time reading it.

As for the whole Futaba/Taichi breaking up and Touma/Taichi being endgame, I absolutely loved it. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have more context and background about how Taichi and Touma got together (and if the author decided to do a short spin-off about some moments between that time skip, I’d read it in a flash), but I also like the myriad of possibilities you can play with in your mind of how that happened. I like the open aspect of it. Also, I really, really, really, really loved Futaba and Taichi’s relationship, and I have to admit that when I read that “two years later... I broke up with Futaba” line, my jaw dropped LOL. I had to pause my reading for a couple of minutes to fully process it, if I’m honest. Not to say I hated it, but it did hurt me that they broke up LOOL. However, I also found it... realistic? It’s not like Futaba and Taichi’s relationship was bad or that at some point I thought “this is due to end at some point, I don’t think they’re going to last forever together”... it’s just that I liked... how it was handled? If that makes sense. Yeah, it was pretty simplistic, and I know some people say that it was out of nowhere and that the author didn’t even care to explain why it happened with that “sorry explanation”, but I really liked it.

I checked up the exact lines in my translation so i wouldn’t mess it up, lol, and here it is: “There wasn’t an interesting story behind it. People might ask why... or say what they would’ve done in our place... not understanding the little decisions we made. But... we decided to go our own ways... not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness.” 

I love it. All the manga is a wholesome, pretty realistic (in my opinion) way to show the teenage years, the coming-on-age, the “have to take/make decisions that will affect your future” and the whole mess that is... feelings and the complexity of relationships. I like how, when Taichi is explaining it, he says that there isn’t something dramatic or big that lead to it. It probably was a bunch of things, and maybe the outcome wouldn’t be what other people would have done, but it was their decision, it was what made them happy. He makes it clear. I especially love it because:

1) It’s pretty normal. Relationships don’t always work. It doesn’t have to be because of something big, either. People change over time, take different decisions that, in consequence, lead to change in dynamics/relationships. That’s life. It’s always, constantly changing. I’m not the same person I was five years ago, and I doubt I will be exactly the same five years from now pn to the future. That doesn’t mean that if you’re in a relationship now and you both start changing that it won’t work, it’s just that sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s normal. It’s pretty simple but also real, in my opinion. He clearly states that other people probably wouldn’t understand the little decisions they made, but it happened. Which, again, realistic imo.

2) I love how he says “we decided to go our own ways, not to match the shapes set forth by others, but for our own shapes of happiness”. Why? Because it leads back to the repeated theme of the story of “what is your happiness right now”. Basically, I think the main topic/message by the end was how Taichi took the decisions--and how people in general irl make decisions--because that’s what made him happy in that moment. You don’t always know if you’re making the right decisions, but at the end of the day, you’re always chasing your happiness. So, I like how that theme played there as well. They took that decision to chase after their own shapes of happiness, not wanting to chase after what someone else think that would made them happy, but what they themselves thought that did.

I also love how he states that it wasn’t easy. Futaba was an important person in his life. She helped him change, she shaped a lot of who he was by the end of the time-skip, so of course it would be hard to break up. It wasn’t like she would die or something, but it was a big change. Even if it was a decision that was took for the best (at least for them), of course it was going to be hard for him, and I like that it was stated. I also love how Touma was the one who made them connect again, really an amazing touch and, again, one of the things I loved about Ao No Flag, and how the main love triangle wasn’t toxic at all. He knew both of them were important for the other, and I love that he was the one who helped them get in touch again. I also love how Touma was still in touch with Futaba and Masumi and that Futaba and Taichi reconnect again.

So all in all, I think Futaba and Taichi’s broke up was realistic. It’s true that just because you have a relationship in your teenage years it doesn’t have to end when you grow older, but a lot of times, it happens. That’s the complexity of liking/loving someone over the years and relationships/feelings in general. So I don’t think it was that out of place? As much as people like to complain, because, true, you usually have this endgame pairing at the end of the story and you, of course, assume everything is going to be happily ever after for them (or, like, as happy as it can get with its highs and lows) and they will stick together... this is also a realistic possiblity/outcome? It’s pretty uncommon in a story, and I understand that people thought that the manga took the route of focusing “way too much on Futaba/Taichi’s romantic development to just throw it by the end” but I don’t think the story itself was just that. The story, for me, was more than just Futaba and Taichi’s “romantic development”. And everything that happened, and how each other changed the other’s life was so meaningful for me even if they didn’t end up together. I love how they breaking up doesn’t change any of that.

Also, I don’t think Taichi’s romantic feelings for Touma were “our of nowhere”? OF COURSE, I would have loved to have a Taichi’s explicit realization of “oh, I love Touma like that” or “oh, he’s more than just a best friend for me/this is more than just platonic love”. But... Idk, this is probably just because I’m bi, so I’m probably biased (LOL), but I never thought of Taichi as other than bisexual? This is just my perspective, but I feel like there were hints everywhere in the manga that he felt strongly about Touma, and yeah, you can say that it was just platonic love, but even if he didn’t feel romantic feelings for him in his teenage years (which, I personally think he kind of had a crush on him when they were younger), he very well could have had developed them later. I know a lot of people irl that have known each other for years and never felt any slight romantic attraction to each other and then years later they started talking more, etc. and started liking each other. It can happen. More so if you’re already close? Of course I would have loved to have more explicit moments, but I feel like the author A) decided that Taichi would develop romantic attraction/feelings only later (in that time skip) or B) did want to include more but wasn’t allowed to because shounen genre. This is just my opinion, of course. But, yeah. I think it was already hard to make that ending happen (main reason of why I think it wasn’t THAT explicit either that it was Touma/Taichi and why the author didn’t show Touma’s face), and that they showed a lot of subtle moments of Taichi’s deep feelings respecting Touma around the story. I really, really, really, absolutely loved Taichi’s turmoil/conflict by the end after Touma confessed to him. Raw, realistic, emotional, deep... I love everything about it. I always cry like a baby when he reads the message inside the charm of “best friend power”, I tell you. I have that panel of him crying and smiling saved in my phone because I’m a fucking masochist aksdjlsdfjk. IT BREAKS ME. Everything about him breaking down, too, with that dream, throwing things in his room, EVERYTHING about his turmoil felt incredibly crude and real to me. Never ever fails to make me cry. And I really liked how he did thought a lot about his feelings and what he wanted and what Touma felt, instead of just going “no, I accept his feelings and I love him, but not in that way. Not like Futaba”. Of course, by the end (before the time-skip), that’s basically what he tells him, but I liked how it didn’t only went with that without showing all of Taichi’s inner conflict.

As a bonus, two more things about the final final chapter:

1) I’m assuming this, but I think I’m right, haha: I really, seriously love how the author knew the ending was going to be controversial and threw some lines that made it seem like (for me, at least) “I get it, most of you won’t get it but I’m fine with this ending myself”. With the whole “Friend or lover? Which will it be?” poster thing, Taichi’s comment about the ending like “the characters’ final decisions didn’t sit well with me”, the “oh, but then again... form someone’s else point of view, my decisions might also seem...” (ASJDLDSFJ it’s like the author is saying, ‘ahaha, yeah, ik, you might not get this, ik’, and I find it so incredibly endearing and satisfying and funny? I absolutely love it when authors make subtle mentions to their [probably] controversial/uncommon/or even cliché decisions in their own story).

2) I absolutely love the final panels of the chapters because they always manage to make me cry my eyes out? The simple but oh so realistic that I absolutely die for line of “life is a series of choices. Even if you pick, hoping for the best... You might hurt someone, or yourself, and regret it. And even if, you do gain happiness, you might be afraid of the next choice that comes, because you don’t want to lose it. Nevertheless, we continue to make choices forever. That’s why I pray that... the future that lies beyond this myriad of choices...” GAH, I LOVE IT. It’s so painfully real; and just... the underlying beauty of the hopeful open ending of the line, too? -- Also, the “hey, if it were you...” followed by the “haha, you’re so annoying!” panel of TAICHI SMILING AND LAUGHING SO FREAKING HAPPY, LIKE THAT’S EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR HIM, Y E AH. IT MAKES ME SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL. AND TH EN, THE FOLLOWING PANELS, FUTABA BEING SO HAPPY WITH HER HUSBAND, MASUMI AND HER PARTNER, AGHHHHHHH, MY GODDAMN HEART, THEY’RE SO HAPPY AS WELL AND THAT’S EVERYTHING I NEEDED, AND AND AND THEIR CLASSMATES ALL HAPPY AND GOING ON WITH THEIR LIFES, AND THE FUCKING. ENDEARING, LOVELY DOMESTICY OF THAT LAST DIALOGUE OF TAICHI BEFORE THE “let’s go home”, thE FUCKI N G R I N G, I SCR E AMED (like i knew they were married, or i THOUGHT so before -- buT BU TT B UUU T AAAAAAAA), AND ALSO THAT PANEL OF TAICHI IS ONE OF THE BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, HEARTWARMING PANELS I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE?????????????????????????? The way he looks so goddamn SOFT and SO FOND and the way he’s just in the middle and focus on the panel, like it’s everything Touma sees, and and and just how HAPPY TAICHI LOOKS, and the way the hand kind of... “goes out” of the panel, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WHEN AUTHORS DO THAT IN IMPORTANT SCENES, AND THEN THE LINKED HANDS????????????????? BR O. I seriously was crying my eyes out. It was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful for me.

SO YEAH. All in all, I was satisfied! Of course, I would’ve loved more of Touma and Taichi’s explicit romantic development, and I understand that people felt the ending was rushed. But for me, the manga was more than just... couples and endgames, you know? The manga itself was so beautiful and wholesome and it had so many good points that the ending just felt like a beautiful closure and, at the same time, a hopeful, amazingly beautiful and touching opening for more of this heartwarming, real, so beautiful coming-of-age story. I think it matches with the tone of the rest of the manga of chasing your happiness and making the decisions that sit best for you and for what you want, even if others don’t understand. I think it matches with the theme of how complex and beautifully amazing relationships and feelings are. I think it suits with the beauty of the manga in general.

And in conclusion, I’m going to show you a pic of this comment on reddit (of a discussion of the ending) that pretty much sums up what I think and said in this:

[areluctantsblog]

For the author asks: 13, 20, 23 & 24 (sorry if it's too many😅❤)

Thank you so much for asking! I had fun thinking about these things.

13. Weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Hm. I started a stony one in which Tony Stark is a squirrel and Steve Rogers is a dog, but I haven’t finished it, so I’ll have to pick another one. The ones that come to mind are a few of the first fics I’ve read. There were a few crack-treated-seriously works among them. One stands out especially, a Marauder’s Era HP fic that was in dramatic form. It had an amazing back and forth between Snape and Lily with hilarious muggle jokes and dripped with sarcasm.

20. What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic? Um… writing it? Haha, no. It’s actually the brainstorming. The ideas come and I explore and expand them to a point, but then I start to feel like I’m not able to see it all alone and I really really need to talk it through with someone. Sometimes I’m lucky and have a chance to discuss it, sometimes I wait and hope that a couple of days will help me move on with it. Writing it down can help, too. Also, when I take a longer break while writing a fic (I mean months), it can be hard to get back in the mood and pick up where I left it. It’s not undoable, though. In fact, it can be a lot of fun, returning to a certain fic’s atmosphere.

23. How long does it take you to complete a fic? It really depends. The longer I write, the longer my fics get, it would seem, so there’s that. Plus, sometimes I get stuck with something and I intend to go back but I start new things and it takes a long time to continue the unfinished ones. My goal is to finish everything, so I don’t start writing unless I’m really serious about a story. I have two lists, WIPs and ideas. Of course, I would love all the ideas to eventually turn into wips, then completed works, but I know it’s unlikely, so I try to pick wisely. How long though? Idk, when I had a deadline, I could produce 3-4k in a day + editing. Sometimes, 500 words counts as great progress. English isn’t my first language though, so writing in English definitely slows me down. Paraphrasing Gandalf, I’ll say that finishing a fic takes exactly as long as it needs to.

24. What’s your process? Omg, do I  have to pretend that I have one? Sometimes, a fic comes pouring out of me. All I do then is don’t stand in its way and type fast. Other times, it’s a scene that comes to me, one scene that I see very clearly and I start unwrapping it, explore its implications, start asking questions about how the characters got there. Sometimes, it’s something about a character that I want to explore more in depth. Or a scene from canon that bugs me for some reason. Okay, so ideas come. I try to not trust my memory and write it down as soon as possible. I tried using a recorder but I didn’t get the feel of it. Sometimes, I start writing it as a headcanon or just notes but right around the first dialogue it turns into fully formed sentences and I write the whole thing, then I have to go back and write the beginning as well. Sometimes I write some part of it and go back to it later. If I get stuck, sometimes I jump ahead and write the next scene that comes more easily, then bridge the two parts. If I’m stuck for a long time, the hardest part is to get back in the right mindset and mood (but I don’t give up on fics, I finish them). I reread a lot. Longer pauses are especially useful in this regard because I see the story in a different light. Then, when I get really impatient, I reread one last time and hit post. I reread even after that and ALWAYS find one or two typos and a few things that I could have said better, but I really like the feeling that it’s out there. Oh my god, it does seem like I have a process :D

[adambombvilivus]

Confession: I once broke into a friend’s house with malicious intent

 and it involved jelly sandwiches

Okay, so first off, I want to keep things vague and anonymous, since I don’t want this former friend to be connected in any way. Now, it’s been a good few years and more since this happened, but I’m still very paranoid and nervous and, as I hope you’ll understand from reading, traumatized from it. It was a pretty strange saga of events on my end so I would appreciate you read all the way through before judging me please.

To give the best background, I’ll start from the beginning of knowing this guy. We met in middle school, sixth grade I believe; we weren’t friends for about a year but we shared common friends and often sat together so we just got along in time, of course. This guy, this kid, seemed pretty normal in every way, for a middle schooler. Well, “normal” among my friends and I, but we were misfits who just gathered at our own spot since we didn’t really belong to a group identity. At least that’s how I saw it, but I don’t know what the rest of them thought. We got along pretty well, finding out we shared common taste in games and music and shows we liked, and he was one of those friends, I thought, you could always trust to be real with when needed. We weren’t best friends but he was cool when it mattered.

Okay so here’s what you’ll find weird, probably: every single day, without fail, I kid you not, all anyone ever saw this dude eat was jelly sandwiches(not even peanut butter & jelly, just jelly. I always assumed it was strawberry jelly, but I never asked). All he ever said about the sandwiches is that he really loved jelly and it was homemade. I would’ve thought that someone in the faculty or something would’ve stepped in, since I knew teachers knew about it and thought it was a bit strange and unhealthy too, but he claimed he didn’t mind it at all and he seemed in good health all the time, minus regular illnesses. Not that I mind jelly sandwiches, but personally, I can’t eat something every day for more than a couple weeks in a row without getting fully sick of it for a long time, but hey, everyone is different. Oh, and I nearly forgot to put it in here, but  he had mentioned the red room all the way back then, just a couple of times. Once or twice he brought it up in conversations where we were talking about making houses in The Sims games, and he said something about this “red room” in his house that he really liked. He never described the red room, because apparently it was one of those things that was ‘embarrassing to talk about at school’, but he said it was cool and I’d probably like it if I ever saw it.

I’ve never been good with locations and addresses, so it took me until midway through high school to find out from some random situation that he had been living only a few blocks away the whole time! Both of us had lived our whole lives to that point in these homes, so that was funny to me. Since we enjoyed a lot of the same games and I had never really hung out with anyone outside of school before, I thought it would be cool to just walk over to his house and hang out for a few hours and play stuff. He seemed fully down for it and after I told my mom where he lived, she was fine with me going (I was just only 16 and it was late in the year, so it was getting dark early). Getting to his house was easy since we would just go a certain way from school that I had never walked, but it was in the neighborhood and I knew the area. That first time hanging out at his home was awkward for me but nice; we talked more than I had anticipated, about a lot of things around growing up with divorced parents and annoying older siblings and all, while he showed me some of his collections. We played games on his GameCube which I had never tried before, and his mom offered to feed me dinner, but I politely refused since we were going to have steak at home haha.

I went home and had my dinner and said I had a nice time, and that was all, nothing strange that time. When I got into bed that night I kicked myself for forgetting to ask about the red room he had mentioned years ago! I only had that little bit more to make me want to hang out again and it could be another fun thing to do or talk about, so I figured I’d bring it up the next day. He seemed pleasantly surprised that I remembered it after the years and wanted to show me next week if I came over again. Jump to that next visit, walking to his house and all, mostly the same until we had a quiet moment, and the thought came back for me to ask about the red room. He perked up and said something like’ “ooooh..right! Yeah right down here”. Same door as any of the other rooms in his house, nothing strange from in the hall; I was nervous but excited, the way you would be at anything small and silly but with years of mild curiosity behind it.

Okay, pause for a second to imagine the weirdest thing, realistically, you’d expect to see from something called “The Red Room”. I’m expecting you’ll probably imagine, like I had, that his mom just had a room where the walls were red and everything was colored red and it was some kind of hobby or something, maybe with neat art inside or whatnot.

I promise you, this...was not that.

Seriously, what my friend did was open the door, lightly push it all the way open, and walk back to his room and shut his door back closed, all without a word, but I only ever thought about that fact in following years. What I did notice first, however, was naturally, the red, but I’ll give you extra context:

First: the room was totally empty. When I say totally, I mean totally. Not so much as a small piece of forgotten trash on the carpet. It looked like the barest room of a freshly built house.

Second, the room was just a square, just a box. No closet door or sliding door, just the four equal walls.

Third, maybe the strangest of these three: Never before had I seen a room in a home with neither windows nor power outlets, or a room light on the ceiling, I don’t think.

When I say this room was just four bare walls and carpet, that is not an overstatement in any way whatsoever. I just want you to know how serious I am about everything I say here, and it’s important you really take that in before you continue reading.

Now, for what I noticed first. This room, whose doorway I was only standing in, must’ve been called the red room because of the red lighting inside. I say lighting instead of light, because I feel that more accurately conveys that there were no actual lights in this room. It wasn’t red like from a lamp, not like a glow, but similar to the way a sunset can make the outdoors look completely orange. A subtle but sure red, that lit the room like  2 o’clock sun, but there was no window, and even if there was a window, this was during the winter where it gets dark by 6 pm. If you know me, you know I am a coward and so obviously, this is uncharacteristic of me to do, but I’m guessing that I was simply in shock from anxiety to walk away. I walked into the room and I heard this sort of strange buzzing. Putting my ear against the wall, I still heard the buzzing, not much louder, but also vague machinery noises. I’d think with all of the How It’s Made I used to watch, I’d have an idea of what I heard, but nah.

Now that I had a moment to let myself absorb the oddity of this place, I turned around, walked out of the door, closed the door in the most gentlest way, walked down the hall, downstairs, and out of the front door. Like my friend, I said nothing. I was too stunned to walk home fast, I think; I mean, I was traumatized from this. Maybe it’s silly, but I’m a coward. I can’t remember much else from that night since my mind couldn’t focus on anything else. I don’t think I told my mom about it. I don’t think I slept that night or was even able to sleep. Maybe it wasn’t scary but sometimes you just have an experience that just gives you a whiplash being what you are ready to process. I hope you understand.

Just so it’s out there, I’ll go into the boring bits that I’m sure you can infer. Of course I never spoke about it. It’s not like I saw a murder. A story of a weird blank room is one thing, but I can’t tell someone that a room was illuminated by some paranormal red lighting. Yeah, I’m serious and able to open up now, but some teenager isn’t going to feel secure with being as honest-to-god as they can be and being doubted and made to feel crazy. I was already quiet, called weird, not very socially secure my whole life, maybe you can relate. As for that friend and I, well I can’t remember exactly the way we were the next day, but I think it was something along the lines of him saying he hoped I had fun and acting totally normal as before. I didn’t mention the room. I didn’t mention the room at all to anyone since this. I never went back to hang out with him again and he never asked, to my relief every day. We stayed friends through school like normal, although I had the added gift of a little well of anxiety every time he approached our group, sitting down with us eating his jelly sandwiches and joking around about stupid shit that I hate myself for laughing at and saying back then. I think other people noticed me being a little more nervous and distraught than I had been before, but nobody, even at home, ever asked what was on my mind. Most days I had only one thing to tell them regardless.

That is just how it was for a couple of years until graduation. On the last day of school he randomly told me that he hoped we could stay in contact or hang out again sometime, and I just let out a “Heh, yeah that’d be cool yeah.”, but we haven’t spoken or seen each other again after that day. Maybe the odd text counts as communication, but it never held my interest. One time out of nowhere, he texted me a jar of jelly emoji, which I never responded to; only today did I check and noticed there is no jar of jelly emoji on my phone. Neither of us had moved for a few years, so the though of that house being so close to mine that whole time never stopped making me feel uneasy, especially when we would drive near or down his street, and my mom felt like asking about him every damn time for some reason, nearly giving me a panic attack each time. Maybe if I had went to therapy or opened up about it I could’ve started an adult life after graduation, but IMO, trauma never helps anyone grow into a stronger person. Others may be stronger than me in the first place to handle these things, but I’ve never felt that concept.

To jump back into the story though, it was about a year and a few moths after graduating high school. That night still haunted me and, I don’t know, it was just a strange week in my head. I had mustered up this idea to go back but I can’t imagine why. One day after driving down his street, I noticed that the cars at his house were gone from the driveway, and my mom mentioned to me that they had been for a while and they must’ve been on vacation, since nothing suggested that they moved out (their garage was always full of clutter and they never had parked the cars in there). The next day it just came out of my mouth to say that he texted me asking to hang out at his house and catch up from the years, since they just came home from vacation and he said that I would probably like to see some souvenirs he brought home. It was a good enough lie for the time.

I knew I would be breaking in, so I sneakily grabbed a hammer before I left the house just as it would be getting dark. I don’t know why I did any of this. I was haunted, traumatized, I didn’t feel like I could talk, and I sought peace and resolution so badly. I didn’t know where their family really was, but I figured, to hell with it, if the cops show up while I’m there, I’ll tell them to check out that room or I’d plead insanity or something; I spent the past four years or so being very depressed and fixated on this surreal memory, I didn’t really give a shit.

The walk to his house was a blur from being lost in my head, but I got there anyway. I put my hoodie up as cover, but that was about it. I know I wasn’t being discreet, but again, I didn’t really care. I only barely tried the front door, and of course it was locked, so I used my hammer on their window in the front of the house. I’ve always been weak, so it took me a few swings, and being louder than I should have, to get a break, but I did it. Maybe I was too numb to feel how sore my arms were. I cleared the spiky shards around the window and turned on my phone flashlight before climbing and stumbling into the house.

Being in the kitchen, it just clicked to me to think about his jelly sandwiches. Even by that point, that’s all I ever saw him eat. When I had looked back before, I never even saw anyone else in his family eat, but I was only there twice briefly so that never stood out to me. It was almost out of frustration or anger or spite that I wanted to find a jar of his jelly and smash it with the hammer or something, just as payback for the trauma I had been living with.

I opened their fridge to look for that fuckin stuff and I found it.

Yeah I found too much of it. I found a whole entire damn refrigerator full of red jelly. That is it. Same as the room upstairs was truly empty, this refrigerator was full of nothing but red jelly. I wasn’t horrified, I was disgusted. I took a jar out and set it on the counter. Homemade fuckin jelly. The cabinets? All jelly too. Every nook and cranny for where food should’ve been had homemade red jelly. I bet I didn’t even have to tell you that. Heck, did I see any bread for making sandwiches? No, not even a loaf of white bread. Maybe they took it with them to use while away. I think I can remember laughing that they still had standard junk and cutlery drawers, and beneath their sink had everything you’d expect as well. Like a cat, I just slid that jar of jelly off of the counter and watched it shatter. It just spilled out a little liquid, but mostly still gooped up like normal jelly. I was/am so angry that things weren’t weirder than that. Was I an ass for breaking in and being angry over a family that loves their jelly. They had a whiteboard in their kitchen for reminders and such(I saw it mentioned a vacation countdown), and I erased it fully before I took a marker, and I wrote, with much anger and shakiness in my hands, ‘Too much fuckin jelly. Eat something else besides fucking jelly! Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck your jelly, fuck your window, fuck this house, and fuck your fucking boring red room!’.

I dropped the marker on the counter and let out the breath I was holding in and breathed again. I stood there for just as long as I could while the anxiety crept in and I started to shake. Sometime during that standing I heard the creaking of floorboards from upstairs. I grabbed my phone before I even grabbed my thoughts, and thus it was another blur. As I made my way just a very short distance from the kitchen to the front door, I could clearly hear footsteps down the stairs. I do remember trying my best to be quick but also as silent as possible as I left through the door and leaving it wide open. I didn’t speed up my pace nor look back. I just walked home, quite similar to that last time, no more settled or at peace. I think that’s why I have to share the story now, because clearly breaking and entering didn’t help. I didn’t even have the guts to see that room again, and I’m sorry if you wanted to know if there was anything more to it. I got home and didn’t say much of note about what I was up to, or how I explained not being gone for much time, but nothing ever became of it. I never heard of a break-in report or anything. Moving away has been the biggest relief from that place I have ever had, and the only. The only evidence I have of any of this is just what I saw with my own eyes and have as memories. Sometimes you go through things that you just have to accept and live with because you’re a lonely person and are more used to facing loneliness than the pain of distrust and different looks. I just couldn’t stand the silent guilt anymore. I have been living with this experience, but it was hitting a point to where I didn’t want to live at all. I’ll certainly never be able to see a jar of strawberry jelly again without vomiting.

[ewelupp-blog]

43

My brother Jeremy always had a fascination for the morbid, and less for the living. He was one of those typical basement nerd types, and would sometimes binge on Reddit stories and Creepy pastas, he loved that shit. Anyway, he was actually my older brother but lacked the motivation to look for actual physical jobs our parents said ‘built character’. He always saw himself as the son they never wanted and had become more and more secluded until finally he practically disappeared into the basement never to be seen again. After a while our parents got fed up with him and asked me if I could take him in. I had two steady jobs and after almost three years paid off most of my debts, so I agreed. He arrived with his assload of computer components and shit, luckily my old roommate had recently left leaving an extra room. Moving all those parts proved to be more annoying than previously assumed and took most of the day to set up.

About a month later he called me into his room, an adventure I had began to dread as it stunk and was cluttered with old clothes and wires. It was also a little game he liked to play with me, he would casually call me in saying things like “come watch this funny video” or “read this article” and half the time it would turn out to be one of his ‘best blood’ or whatever pictures. This time I knew it was a picture of that caliber, his gasp before gave it away immediately. “Get in here, seriously ,” he yelled, “I know you don’t like this stuff but this one is fucking crazy man,” his enthusiasm barely contained. I sighed heavily enough for him to hear from where I was sitting in the living room and made my way over to his door. The smell hit me like a truck, and worse the lights were off so it would have to be a guessing game to get through. I made my way to the computer screen and caught a glance from him, his smile should have made me concerned but he was my brother and I knew he wouldn’t stoop to anything he saw on the net. The picture was of a young woman with her chest almost literally torn open, her face was oddly still and calm, serene, but her breasts were destroyed. He looked to me with excitement, “Well, do you see it yet?” he asked giddily. “See what? I don’t even know what I should be looking for,” I said turning away from the gruesome scene. “The eye man, how did they do that?” he burst out, pointing to the screen. I looked it over once again, not staying too long on her mangled chest, but nothing was wrong with her eye. “Alright, really funny haha,” I said looking away again. His face screwed up in confusion, “The eye man,” he said, his tone taking a turn for the dramatic, “The number? 41?” he said more than asked. I shook my head, “I didn’t see any number, can I go now, is your prank over?” I asked apathetically. “Whatever man,” he mumbled. That was weird, I told myself, ‘what fucking number?’ I shook it off and went to work, ridding myself of the strange distraction.

A couple days later and halfway through my day I received a call from home, it was Jeremy, but he sounded scared. “Hey man, y-you gotta come back, something… something happened,” he fumbled over the words like he hadn’t spoke English for a decade. It wasn’t like him to be scared, I knew him better than anyone else, he never got scared, what the fuck was so bad that it scared him? My boss was understanding when I told him there was a family crisis back home I would have to take care of, and gave me the rest of the day off. “I’ll make it up to you I promise,” I yelled back to him on my way out the door. He just waved me off, “You better,” he joked. The drive home was nerve wracking, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if someone broke in and stole everything. I pulled into the apartments parking lot to be greeted by the landlord, a “nice” overweight woman named Jane. She must have been walking back from another apartment and seen me pull in because she rushed over. I stepped out into a berating like I’d never had before, “What the FUCK is wrong with your brother?” she screamed, “I’ve had five, FIVE noise complaint reports in the last two hours saying they heard sounds like screaming and fighting from your apartment.” The heat was almost visible from her brow, and her greasy blonde hair flopped about with her over-dramatic-movements. “I went up to see what was going on and the door was locked. When I opened it up I found the fucking couch had been flipped up in front of the door.” She shook some more, her rolls jiggling unnaturally. “I’ll fix it, he usually isn’t like this.” I mumbled looking down. “You’re fucking lucky I like you or I would kick your ass out too.” The statement hit me like a brick, my saliva stopping mid swallow. “Oh… okay.” Was all I managed to say. Jane stormed off after a second of silence making her way to another tenant. Slowly, I walked up the door, 577, the number I had grown to know so well, worried and knowing my brother wouldn’t survive long on his own. The door was unlocked, which was an unpleasant surprise, and what’s more, nothing was blocking the door. In fact the living room looked more pristine than ever, clean enough to eat off was the phrase I believe. Jeremy was nowhere in sight, the door to his room, which was usually ajar, was closed fully. I closed the door and called out for him, but got no response. It was then that I got the sense that something was dreadfully wrong here, everything trying too hard to look normal. I knocked on his door, but got no response. “Jeremy, I’m home, what did you need to talk about?” I called out. Still no response, so I twisted the door knob and pushed in. There he lay in his bed, peacefully sleeping, his chest heaving up and down. His eyes twitched back and forth rapidly and his bed sheet barely covering his frail body. I smiled for a second, forgetting the dire situation he put me. “Jeremy!” I called flipping on the lights. He jumped up suddenly with a look of sheer terror on his face. “Jesus Christ man!” he swore, “You startled me.” My frown grew as he wrapped the sheets around himself and shivered, “What’s wrong,” he asked. “What do you mean what’s wrong, you called me. What’s wrong with you. Why did you call?” I asked folding my arms across my chest trying to appear authoritative. He gulped loudly, “Promise not to freak out?” he asked looking ashamed. “No, what happened?” He stood up, reaching for his black gym shorts. “Dude what are you doing?” I questioned, covering my face with my hand. “Just hear me out,” Jeremy pleaded, “This morning I woke up,” he started, pulling his shorts low to show his left thigh, “And I saw this.” His pale thigh was clean as a whistle. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I yelled, “You call me from work and freak out like this over a prank?” “It’s-“ “Save it, Jane wants you out, and if you’re going so am I, but so help me god if you pull another stunt like this I WILL kick you out on your own. “But-“ he started again “Enough with the pranks! Grow up! Your twenty seven man, go get a job, stop being a lazy shit!” I screamed. He pulled up his shorts looking embarrassed, avoiding my gaze. I know he was my big brother, and bigger brothers are supposed to be the more mature ones, but he was just so infuriating sometimes. “And why did you put the couch in front of the door when Jane tried coming in?” I questioned. His face screwed up again, “What? I’ve been in here sleeping since I called you?” It felt like someone slapped me, I could see the look on his face, the genuine confusion. This wasn’t some prank, he meant it. I sat down on the edge of his bed for a second, “But, the noise complaints,” I stammered. “What, I didn’t hear anything,” he sat down next to me. “What the fuck is going on?” My head spun, I knew Jeremy was a terrible liar, no amount of training could ever fix that, he wasn’t lying.

A month later the new apartment was filled with empty boxes, the moving process was easier than unpacking, but it was finally done. Jeremy really shaped up after that day, had even got a job at a warehouse. From behind I heard him make his way to his room, the door closed almost silently like he was ashamed to hide in there anymore. I turned around and yelled out, “Hey why don’t you get out here and watch some TV with me.” “Sure,” I heard from behind me. I stopped suddenly, but shook it off, must have been my imagination. A few beers and bad TV later we both went to bed, we worked similar hours so we would be in the apartment around the same time. The morning came quickly, and the room was spinning a little more than I was ready for. I hit the head and washed up to prepare breakfast for the both of us in hopes I could sober up fully before work. “Hey, breakfast,” I called. No response. I stumbled over to his door and opened it up, “Jeremy get up, work.” The room stank again, this time worse than before. I flipped on the light, that was the first mistake. He lay in his bed with a look of sheer terror scrawled across his face, his chest was torn open, blood splattered everywhere. His hands were curled up at his side like he was clenching his fists, his back arched and his mouth curled into an eternal scream of absolute horror. Bile reached the back of my throat, and I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep myself from throwing up. I turned away, the tears streaming down my face, falling down to his the floor making a small thumping sound.

The police arrived an hour later, took my statement and investigated. They put took me to the station as I was the only suspect. About two hours later a male officer came into the interrogation room and told me I was free to go. “What? W-why?” I asked. He turned and looked at me sternly, “Your alibi checked out,” he said. “What alibi?” He sighed, “You were at work when he died, we have video evidence of you with your boss.” I shook my head, fresh tears rolling down my face, “That’s not possible, I came home and drank with him.” I stated through tears. The officer shrugged, “According to the coroner’s report he had been dead for ten hours, putting you at work when he died.” The new evidence almost made me choke. I finally managed to speak after a moment of silence, “Can I see his body, you know, say my goodbye’s?” He led me to the coroner’s office, the doctor there was understanding. She let me have to room, and I said what I could, not really knowing what to say at all. He looked peaceful, his eyes and mouth had been closed, and the pale white sheet covered the rest of his body, like he was sleeping. Before I left I called in the doctor. “Yes, what is it?” she asked. “He, he complained about something being wrong with his left thigh, I know it’s not linked, but I just wanted to know if you found anything,” I said quietly. “No,” she said lifting up the sheet to show his thigh, “Nothing at all, why?” she asked. I laughed, “Just making sure I said,” finally finding my voice after seeing the number 42 carved into my brothers skin. I didn’t sleep that night, I never slept again.

[xylianna]

....It took Ignis a while to realize that he was shaking, literally trembling where he stood, his jaw hanging inelegantly open as he gaped at the scene before him. Astrals, he hadn’t been this wonder-struck since his first visit to the club.... *blush* ummmm like this whole chapter to be perfectly honest.

You. I like you.  <3

I’m going to totally commentate the entire freakin’ chapter because insomnia is refusing to let me sleep and I love the chance to blather on about my work to a willing audience!

I will be kind and put it behind a cut, though.

Okay, I’m pulling up the chapter and commenting as I go, so if you read it as you go my comments might make more sense!   Wait, first I should make coffee.  Coffee is love, coffee is life. 

Okay, I’m back with coffee!  So, the first thing I’ll say about this chapter is it’s actually the first thing I wrote. Specifically, the Ignis POV starting with his arrival at the club.  A few days later, I wrote the Gladio POV, and a couple days ago, I added the paragraphs at the beginning about Ignis’s relaxing day going to the farmer’s market, coffee shop, etc to help it flow from chapter 1 better.  I initially was going to have this be maybe chapter 4 or so, but I said fuck it, let’s start the bdsm off right out of the gate so people know what they’re reading, lol.

Lest you think those first few paragraphs are merely filler, let me assure you I love Ignis getting downtime, and I will write it into as many stories as I can.  It’s a good balance for how often I put him through all the angst.

So, Iggy’s outfit I put a lot of thought into!  He’s a strategist, so I figured he’d have his disguise nailed.  First, the suit.  Iggy wears suits all the time, but I headcanon they are perfectly tailored, high class affairs.  So for this, he wears something off the rack.  The red tie was actually an in-joke/call back to a scene in my co-authored fic with @aliatori, This Too Is Sacred (check it out).   He couldn’t take his car, too much of a clue to his identity.  He absolutely cannot speak - his accent?  Way too recognizable.  So we have the silent, carless, off-the-rack suited, masked Hawk, anonymous in the crowd but still a bright beacon to those who are looking closely, because even with the different guise, it’s still Iggy, and he’s still amazing.

Fun fact:  the card Iggy needed to show the doorman to get in?  Based off a local kink party I attended for several years before it stopped running. You had an approval process, and once you were totally vetted you got your card and then you could get into events without signing waivers or being vouched for etc.

I also borrowed heavily from personal experience when I described what he saw/heard/smelled as he walked into the club proper.  The very first kink event I went to had a dress code that was basically formal wear or fetish wear, if you showed up in jeans + tshirt you wouldn’t be allowed in.   While I personally don’t feel the need to be that strict, I like the atmosphere of everyone being formal, whatever that means to them.  I also thought it fit Iggy.

The ridiculous cacophony of conversation/sounds of beatings/loud music takes some getting used to, haha.    And I am here for being in a room that basically overwhelming smells like leather.

The ‘rules’ I put in place are again, stolen from real events I attended. Not that consent is a unique rule since its the law everywhere that I live.   Anonymity is super super important at events like this though.  The best events are the ones that manage to feel exotic, but still like a safe space where you can just be yourself.  The no alcohol thing, too.   You really don’t want to mix consensual beatings with intoxication.

Okay I live for the headcanon that while Ignis’s refusal to speak is part of his effort to keep his identity secret, that his refusal to cry out during play is also a challenge issued to every top he scenes with.  

“Who was that, in the far corner there?”  the point where everyone is hopefully shouting IS IT GLADIO IS IT GLADIO

I stopped typing for several minutes because I read the paragraph describing Gladio giving that beating and… yeah. lol. 

Iggy of course gets pissed seeing him there, because as we established in chapter 1 he has a gigantic unrequited crush on a man he perceives as straight and therefore off-limits.  Also, I try to make the characters human, and Iggy losing his temper at something that isn’t actually a wrong action on anyone’s part makes him very human to me.

One of my favorite lines this chapter: “He cautiously walked closer, knowing he was playing with fire - if anyone could see through his masquerade, it would be Gladiolus - but like the proverbial moth he was drawn ever closer to that brightly burning flame.”     Not to toot my own horn or anything haha!

Now we’re to the section you actually put in my ask box.   Ignis has totally lost hold of his self control at this point. Well, not totally, I suppose.  Totally would have had him going right up to Gladio and kissing the crap out of him, lol.  But seeing the man he’s been crushing on is also a skilled and inventive top, it’s all a little too much for our Igster.

And then, Ignis’s play partner finds him.   I tried to strike a balance between writing their scene so that the reader could tell who Stag was meant to be, without making it blatant. After all, Ignis doesn’t know.   The guise of Stag was directly chosen because of the stylistic details of Nyx’s headgear in Kingsglaive.

Of course Ignis has to hesitate, though, since Gladio is RIGHT FUCKING THERE OMG, but his desire for his monthly fix wins out.

For the beating itself, I won’t say much, except that I do so love writing gladnis bdsm and I never plan to stop.

Now we hit my favorite line of this chapter and I am not at all ashamed to highlight it:  “And then, the kaleidoscope of his waking dream shifted, and he saw nothing but Gladiolus.”

Sigghhhh  <3

An oops, some clean up, and a little flirty banter, and Iggy’s POV ends with him noticing Gladio staring at him like he’s a Cup Noodles, and he gets a flash of hope that maybe his crush isn’t so hopeless as he’s previously though.

And then we’re over to Gladio.

I shamelessly used the beginning of Gladio’s POV to highlight two issues I’ve seen happen in kink communities.  TOPS NEED AFTERCARE TOO DAMMIT.  FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY DON’T.  Seriously.  Give your top a fucking hug. A bottle of water.  Make sure they’re as okay as they are making sure are post-scene, ugh.  And don’t treat them like beating dispensers, they have fucking feelings and they are people and and and ooookay, off my soap box. :D

I considered having Gladio also masked, but figured even if his tattoo wasn’t fully done at this point, he’s such a unique figure (even in a fantasy world like Eos, we don’t see that many 6′6″ massive muscular dudes walking around) that it would be rather pointless to try and hide. Plus… I mean, its Gladio. Why would he hide?

And of course I had to have him watch Iggy’s beating and fixate needing to get to know and hopefully play with that masochist because, well, we all know the Gladnis is coming, especially if you’ve read Discretion you know where I am taking this.

I took great delight in writing how meeting Hawk’s eyes reminded Gladio of Ignis’s eyes and then him thinking how ridiculous the idea of Iggy ever being at a place like the club, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Ahem.  Sorry.

So of course Nyx had to be the one to invite Gladio/get him on the approved list, because I just watched Kingsglaive and I’m thirsty for some Nyx.   Also I could see them bro-ing it up and talking about shit like this organically, so it wouldn’t be like Nyx creepily offered “you should come to this elite kink party” so much as they just compared notes on relationships/dating/etc and it came up.

I also headcanon Nyx as an unrepentant flirt, so don’t mind him flirting with Hawk and Gladio with equal ease, lol.

Nyx throwing down the gauntlet to Gladio re: Hawk … nothing like a little trash talk between bros, right?

Gladio gets home and I decide he’s a shower beer guy, because really he’s like 21 years old at this point, he just went to a kink party where he spent most the night beating ungrateful recipients who left him high and dry, and then he watched a masked hottie come from no stimulation other than a flogging.  He needed a fucking drink, why wait til after the shower? 

At the end of the chapter I enjoy Gladio thinking it would be more appropriate to focus his thoughts on Hawk since he doesn’t think Ignis would be into him at all, haha. Those two crazy dumb kids, we’ll get ‘em there, I promise.

So this was WAY MORE INFO than you probably wanted when you sent me your ask but I HAVE COFFEE AND I CAN’T SLEEP AND OKAY THEN.

Thanks for being so kind and supportive. <3

[just-a-dreamer23]

The case of a Pureblood! Part 4

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this took so late, I took my first weeks of vacations to rest my mind. But now I am back and I can’t wait for you to read the fourth part of this story. Have fun reading and I hope that you have an amazing day. :)

“God, now I see why you are not a Gryffindor” she said chuckling and rolling her eyes. “Look Rita, everything will be alright just trust me on this and I promise that you won’t go to Azkaban. If you want I can go with you when you go to register but let me ask, do you really want people know about it?” she asked

“Would be more fun if they didn’t know but at the same time I could go to Azkaban if I don’t register myself” I said while sighing causing Jay to roll her eyes. 

As we were having this conversation Jay was picking up the mandrake leaf and the other ingredients we needed; hiding the am in our bags. At the moment we just had to leave to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom and start the potion. We left and hurried to the bathroom excusing ourselves every time we bumped into someone. 

When we got there, we closed the bathrooms doors and started to create the potion as it said in the books. Jay was explaining everything that I needed to consider while I was in the process of the transformation. To be honest I was scared but at the same time tried to act as calm as I could. 

  “Hey girls, what are you doing?” we heard a voice say and then a whimper. “Are you going to create a polyjuice potion?”

I looked around and noticed Moaning Myrtle to our right.

“Um, yes? we are creating one of those...why?” I lied to her 

“Once Harry Potter and his friends made one on this bathroom” she giggled. “His friend...the girl, turned into a cat because she took a hair from a cat” 

“You don’t say!” said Jay with sarcasm causing me to chuckle. 

“What are you laughing at? Are you making fun of me? like every other student that has enter here?” the ghost girl asked

“What? I am not making fun of you! I just...I think is quite funny how the girl turned into a cat!” I lied to her again.

“No you are not...” she said and with that she started crying and submerged herself into the toilet. 

I looked at Jay and just said “What the hell...was that?” I asked 

“After a couple of months of being studying here seems odd that you don’t know that ..that’s a ghost?” she said with sarcasm 

“Really?” I said chuckling. “What I meant was, what the hell is wrong with her?”

“ Haha she’s like that, don’t take her serious...from what I have heard she is just a traumatized ghost that’s on an eternal depression and as you can see, she lacks of self-esteem” she said. “Now, put the leaf in your mouth”

I took the leaf and look at it for a couple of seconds while overthinking about everything that could happen if it went wrong. 

“Are you going for it?” she asked.

“I have some questions, how am I suppose to eat and talk if I can’t take this leaf off of my mouth for a whole month cause if I don’t awful things could happen to my bloody tongue” I sigh 

Jay sigh as well “Margarita, have you not notice that you are in Hogwarts? as long as you’re in this school you can use magic for anything”.  she said as she took a piece of paper from her robes and hand it to me. 

“What’s this?” I asked eagerly 

“The spell that will help you eat and talk normally without that leaf falling from your mouth or without you swallowing it” she said with a smirk.

“Thank you!” I said smiling and then proceeded to do the spell before placing the leaf inside.

“Now after a month we will wait for the moonlight. That’s when you’ll drink the potion and will be able to transform” she said

It has been three weeks after I placed the leaf in my mouth and we started preparing the potion. We had told nobody about it, in fact I had returned all the books about animagus. That way Jared and Stiles will stop asking questions about why I am so intrigued in animagus. Lydia, Allison, Jay and I hanged out to Hogsmeade to have the girl talk we needed to have. We started doing that weekly, just took Thursday’s afternoon to hang out for at least one hour. That was if we didn’t have to study, have Quidditch practice or anything else.

“Hey Margarita, can you come here for a second?” said Scott 

 “Um, sure!” I said as I followed him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, well, no, I mean...” he sigh 

“What is it Scott?” I asked 

“Look, Derek said that you had a different scent and wants to know if you’re okay?” he said

“What is that suppose to mean? I have not changed or anything... I am still a human not a werewolf or whatever. Also, why won’t he come to ask me instead?” I asked 

“He said is better if he distances himself from you” he said while shrugging.

“You have got to be kidding me!” I said with anger and stormed off looking for Derek. 

“DEREK” I yelled as I walked through the Quidditch field. 

“Yes?” he asked while turning around to face me.

“Where in the bloody hell have you been? Do you think that you just can distance yourself from me and then send Scott to ask me if I am okay because you don’t want to come and ask me yourself? Do you seriously believe that I am better off without you in my life? I don’t freaking care if you’re a werewolf or not! Are you afraid of hurting me again or that you’ll lose control? if is that, then you and I can work on that. Liam and Scott are still friends with me and both of them are werewolves as well.  Have they hurt me? no! Have you hurt me? yes but I am okay and I thought we had put that behind us man. I understand your past and everything but this is your present Der. I am sorry but I will not let you push me away no matter what. Oh and about my friends, yes, they’re been over protective but is something normal. That shouldn’t be something that stops you from being part in my life”. I ranted and then crossed my arms. 

“Are you done?” He asked and I nodded while staring at him expecting him to respond. 

“I have distanced myself because every person I let in get hurt or dies. I care too much about you to see you get hurt or to lose your life because of me. Now, let me ask you, do you know what you got yourself into?” he asked 

“I am sure that you won’t hurt me and everyone will die at some point in their lifes and I am sure that I won’t die because of you. So, let me be part of your life and stay in my life. What do you mean by your question?” I asked 

“What do I mean?” he gave me a sarcastic confused look.”Did Scott mention the different scent that you have?” 

“Yes, but he didn’t explained how was it that my scent changed” I said 

“Well, I was around on your quidditch practice since I was looking for certain things. I was consulting something with Stiles and you were near him; the mandrake scent came from you”. he said

“How the heck will that scent came out from me?” I asked

“I asked myself that question but then I remembered the book you dropped when you found me that night. The book about animagus and it speaks how witches and wizards behave when they are preparing themselves to take the potion” he said. “Though you don’t act like the book states, your scent gave you away”. 

“What makes you think that I am preparing myself to do such thing? Look I am fascinated by animagus and that’s why I had the books. I want to learn more about them!” I said while trying to sound confident

He smirked “You sound quite convincing when you lie but honey, I am werewolf, your heartbeat is indicating that you are lying at the moment” 

I sigh and rolled my eyes, “Fine, so I am preparing myself for it and I am highly aware of the things that can go wrong with it. But is too late to stop myself from it and so far everything is turning out great” I said shrugging 

“Why did you do it if you knew the risks Margaret?” he gave me a worried look that made me feel warm inside and I gave him a sympathetic look.

“Because I knew what I was doing and I am too curious to see the result from it” I smiled.

“You are going to register yourself right?” he asked and I nodded. “How are you even talking and eating with that leaf? When will you fully do it?” 

“I am using a spell that actually helps me to do so. I will do it next Thursday” I said smirking 

“You are quite clever and I will be around” he said smiling and I winked at him while giving him a shy smile and biting my bottom lip a bit. 

He growled a looked away blushing a bit then say “You should leave”

“Are you turn-” I said but he caught me off by saying, “No, but you’re going to be late for your class and your friends would murdered me if they see us talking”

I giggled “You are worrying too much about my friends but you’re right...I will be late...so, see you and please don’t distance yourself again” 

“I won’t and hey, stay safe!” he said smiling and I started walking away. However, I turned and ran to where he was to hug him. 

A week passed and I was ready to get through and finished the process which was terrifying and exciting to me. Jay told me to me her behind Hagrid’s house at midnight and I went there without realizing that I was being followed. I met Jay and we waited until the moonlight met my eyes. Afterwards, I drank the potion then I threw the glass to the floor and fell on the floor. I slowly started changing and my body started to feel very weird. Making me think that something had gone wrong, the pain in my body was causing me to lose my breath. I was sure that I was about to pass out but then it was over. 

My friend Jane said “Oh my God! Is over Margaret, you’re officially an animagus...” 

“Rita!..” I heard Jared shout and next thing I know he is kneeling right in front of me touching my face. “What did you do?”

“She wanted to become an animagus and I helped her” Jay said proudly.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me? what if someone had caught you or if something had gone wrong?” he said 

“We didn’t want anyone to know, no one caught us and nothing went wrong” said Jay. She knew that Derek knew due to what happened but that was it, nobody else knew. 

I founded myself barking at Jared and rolling over so that he could rub my belly...that was weird as hell but it felt nice. He laughed at me and rubbed my belly saying, you and I have a lot to talk about when you turn back to your human form. 

Jay and Jared began talking about a surprise party they wanted to do for Jensen. According to them Osric had offered some help and knew the place where it could be done. As they were talking I heard something moving in the bushes and I decided to go there. I was scared that someone had caught us but then I realize that it was Derek...naked...and putting his pants on. Then he heard and turned towards me.

“Margaret..gosh!” he said startled... “I want to clear out before you turn back into your human form and ask anything that I can turned into a full wolf but that’s a long story. That’s why you founded me like this, you didn’t gave me much time to get properly dress” he chuckled. “I saw you turning and I wanted to be next to you but I knew that the Jared guy was around. You know...you are a cute dog! Anyways, Jay gave me some of your clothes so that I could hand it to you, she had many things in her hands and bags so she trusted me with this” he said as he place the bag of clothing next to me.

  “Let me know when you are ready to change back to your human form so that I can turn around while you change” he said and as he did so I felt myself changing back to my human form causing us both to have shocked expression. “Um,God I just told you and y-” 

“Turn around Derek” I said and grabbed my bag then immediately changed. I cleared my throat awkwardly and said while blushing “You can turn around now...by the way, you have nice abs but you should put a shirt on” 

“So, that’s why you were not looking at me in the eyes huh?” he said as he grabbed his shirt and put it on. “You should go back to them, I will be here if anything!” 

“Oh shut up...” I said blushing and kissed his cheek before leaving.

“So, he knows, the guy that hurt you and had you in the hospital wing knew that you were doing this! But I don’t of course not, I bet I didn’t cross your mind at all” Jared said with anger.

“He wasn’t suppose to know and neither were you! but it so happens that he found out and I couldn’t lie to him. Also, stop referring to him as the guy that hurt me” I said in anger. “When will you understand that I am giving him a chance and that I want him in my life just as much as I want you. I don’t want to lose either of you”. 

“You trust him more than you trust me...I should’ve known the real reason of why you wanted those books. You know, I actually trusted you...but now, I don’t even know who you are!” he said 

“Is this because I didn’t tell you my plans?” I asked

“This is because you lie to me and made me look like a fool” he said and left. I looked over to Jay but she didn’t know what to say. However, she had warned me and told me that I should tell Jared before it was to late and it turned out that...it was too late. 

[fixxofvixx]

HEALING RAVI - CHAPTER ONE (A Teaching VIXX Story)

OOOOOKAY!! HERE WE GO!

Here is Ravi’s intro chapter. Seriously, this took me forever! Haha. Its difficult to transition from putting “you did this…” to “she did this…” 😂😂 I had to catch myself several times. So if I missed one, please forgive me!

This chapter doesn’t have a whole lot. Just our couple being awkward and such. I hope you like it though.

I will probably have another chapter from this story and then post one for Taekwoon. After that, the stories will pretty much stand on their own.

Let me know if you guys like it or hate it.

As always, my ask is open for any questions and such.

Thank you for reading!

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

JiYoon eased herself into the room.  Her heart was doing backflips but she couldn’t deny someone that was in pain.  Wonshik had been kind to her so far and she felt the need to repay that.

Taekwoon’s girlfriend retreated and went to stand next to him.  JiYoon took her place next to Wonshik.  When she touched his hand, he jerked.  It was as if he was still in the haze of anger. The familiar feeling of fear crept into her mind and she wanted to run.  The only thing keeping her from that was the broken, bloody hand that she held in her own.

“Wonshik?"  His eyes shot up to meet her face in surprise.  It was only then that he had realized she was sitting in front of him.  Tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Several emotions flew across his face in a matter of moments.  

Why is he so upset?  JiYoon didn’t know what happened.  But, the hole in the wall looked suspiciously like a hand had gone through it. 

She grabbed the first aid kit and began wiping the blood off of his hand.  It was swelling fast and knew he was in a good amount of pain. 

After his hand was clean she placed it on her knee and had to bite back the urge to cringe at the contact.

How am I going to be able to live in society when I can’t even stand a hand on my knee-that I put there?!

"Wonshik, this might hurt a little bit, but I promise that I can fix it." 

He nodded at her statement and kept his eyes on her face. He was so taken with her, so fast. He wanted to protect her. He wanted her heartbeat to speed up in response to his affection. Not because she was afraid of him. He noticed how her hands shook. He hadn’t missed the small flinch caused by his hand on her knee. To be able to touch her was a wonderful feeling for him. But, he only felt fear coming out in waves from her.

JiYoon focused on the bones in his hand and took several deep breaths. She placed one hand under his and one on top. She closed her eyes and let her mind visualize what needed to be fixed. She could see the room brighten from behind her eyelids and she knew that her hands were glowing now. Opening her eyes she locked her eyes onto Wonshik’s. His bright blue irises crackled and sparkled until they went to a deep, beautiful blue-grey. They were utterly remarkable but she forced herself to focus. She could feel the bone fragments set themselves back into place and the inflamed tissue receded. It took only around twenty seconds to fully heal the hand but it felt like an eternity having to stare into Wonshik’s eyes. Finally, the hand was as good as new. His tears had dried up and pain was no longer etched into his features.

She leaned down, lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed the top of it. She realized what she had done only after her lips met his skin.

What in the hell did I do that for?! Her cheeks turned pink and she froze. She had just been so relieved that he wasn’t in pain anymore and her body acted on its own.

"N Hyung?” Jaehwan was the first to speak, thankfully breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah?”

“Will you break my jaw for me?” Jaehwan’s comment resulted in Wonshik snapping his eyes up to the older member, irises tinged in red. Jaehwan winked and quickly left the room.

When Wonshik’s eyes fell on JiYoon’s again, they immediately softened and returned to the normal ice blue. He raised his hand, closing and opening it repeatedly to test it out.

“That’s awesome! There’s no pain at all. Its like it never happened.” He smiled at her, causing her to blush and lower her gaze from his. He leaned down further to catch her eyes again. He had to force himself not to hug her.

“Thank you.”

Wonshik looked up at Hakyeon, sending a silent message that the leader read loud and clear.

Hakyeon quickly ushered everyone out so the two could talk in private.

“You’re welcome.” She still had her head down, playing with the hem of her shirt. Wonshik looked once again at the beauty in front of him. He knew he would have to handle this, and her, slowly.

“May I ask a question?” Her voice was quiet and feminine.

God, she’s cute. Wonshik had to compose himself before answering her.

“Of course. You are always welcome to talk to me. Ask me anything.” His voice was deep and sincere. JiYoon liked it. But, she wouldn’t be telling him that.

“Why did you punch the wall? I don’t mean to pry. And you don’t have to ans-”

“You.” Wonshik was nothing if not painfully honest. He wanted her to know someone cared for her.

She stopped short and stared at him.

Me? What did I do? He hit the wall because of me? Was he angry at me?

“I’m sorry. D-did I do something?”

“No!” She jumped when he raised his voice a bit, in hopes of reassuring her. He took a deep breath and continued calmy. “No, of course not. I, uh, accidentally overheard what you were saying next door and I…I just got so mad. I wasn’t purposefully listening! I’m just really curious about you and I think I just instinctively tuned in.” His words came out in a rush. His ears turned pink and he chuckled nervously. It took her a minute to process everything.

Why would he be mad over that? It wasn’t his fault.

She looked back to the others for help and a tiny gasp escaped her throat. It was only now that she realized that they were alone. She hadn’t heard the others leave. Panic consumed her.

“O-oh! Everyone left.” She was suddenly hyper-aware of how close she was sitting to Wonshik. She used her hands to slowly slide herself back until she was a good three feet away.

“Four years?”

Wonshik’s stayed absolutely still. He knew that if he moved too fast or tried to get closer, she would bolt. He was surprised that she was still sitting in here with him.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it right now. But please don’t hold it all in. Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here.” She gave him a small nod so he continued. “I can’t imagine what all you’ve been through but believe me, you’ll never see them again. I’ll make sure of that. You are safe here with us….with me.”

JiYoon raised her head to meet his eyes. The calming blue of his eyes was a welcoming contrast to the silver that she had seen for so long. She believed him. For some strange, unknown reason-she believed him. It was a new feeling for her. She returned his kindness with a smile and his face lit up.

“I really appreciate you all taking me in. I-Its the best I’ve been treated in a long time. I just….don’t want to talk about everything just yet.”

“That’s okay. We don’t have to. Just find me when you’re ready, okay?”

“Okay.” She nodded and went to stand. Wonshik followed but made no move towards her.

“You should get some sleep now. Then later we can party over at Noona’s place.” He moved his shoulders up and down in a cheezy dance move that made her smile.

“I’m not sure if I will be able to sleep. I’m scared that when I close my eyes, I’ll have nightmares.”

“Hmm, you could try listening to some music. Here,” He went over to his desk and picked up an old mp3 player. “There’s a playlist on here for when I want to relax. It should help.”

He walked over, towering over her because of his height and handed her the player.

Shit, how tall is this guy?

She was trying so hard no to back away from him. Surprisingly, it was easier to resist than earlier. She felt a bit more comfortable with Wonshik for some reason.

Maybe, just maybe, she could become normal again.

“Thank you again for fixing my hand. I’m sorry you had to come over here for that.”

“It’s no problem. It’s what I do. Its the least I can do for getting me out of that place.” She paused at the doorway. “You should get some sleep to. I will see you later.”

Wonshik smiled and nodded. He prayed sleep would come fast so he could see her again.

[soovaryit]

A year on from my diagnosis, I feel like I’m stuck in some sort of ovary themed groundhog day. I am in the exact same amount of pain and today I’ve come home from scans where they found another cyst/endometrioma in the same place as it was this time a year ago.

It's been a year since my lap where they were unable to do any excision because the active patch of endo I had was so close to a blood vessel that it couldn't be interrupted. Most inactive patches were scarring on the abdomen and pouch of Douglas, which cleared up because of a three month spell of back to back contraceptive pills.  For people who are interested to know about experiences of the coil with endo, mine has unfortunately not been a positive one. By no means would I tell you not try a mirena - you absolutely should! In terms of emotional side effects it has been the best treatment I've had so far (I think, as far as my scrambled brain can tell). But it's done nothing at all for the pain and I still have regular and excruciating periods. They became slightly lighter for a while but are now getting progressively heavier. When I question GP's on why this could be I get a shrug and 'well that shouldn't be happening.' To which I always want to say ‘Haha no way really? My body always does was what it should be doing so that's weird’ *worlds biggest eye roll*

The pain ever so slightly improved for a few months after the lap but I think that was a combination of a lot of rest and wishful thinking. Now I have the Mirena coil which my consultant, amongst others, flippantly told me made it 'impossible' for the endo to grow (which I later found out is entirely incorrect). Different treatments work for different women and the fact is some don’t work at all, and only regular surgery will keep it under control. Although you should never lose hope, the one thing I've learned is to never take a doctors word as fact as it’s such an under researched condition and a lot of what they say is based on opinion. Mine in particular was a Gynaecologist- a very vague umbrella term meaning they will generally have no special interest or knowledge of endo but keep experimenting on patients with drugs/treatment with no regard for how torturous the process can be and the psychological issues surrounding medication constantly fucking with your hormone levels. If you can wait or if it's possible - go to a specialist endo clinic and get someone highly skilled because it's what we deserve. This is a good place to start.

So now, a year later, the pain I got on my right side which was caused by the active endo (and a hemorrhagic cyst for a while that I was told was cleared up by the pill - who knows) has come back tenfold and aches almost constantly. Today I had a transvaginal and pelvic ultrasound scan. I always find pelvic ultrasound scans upsetting because I associate them with nice things, like babies, and the painful irony that the same test is used to attempt to determine your fertility (‘Congratulations! It’s a cyst!’) seems a bit like salt in a wound. As I sat in the GP toilet crying and wiping goo off my stomach I found it very hard to remain positive and hopeful and imagine a time where I won’t experience routine disappointment and the feeling that my body is against me.   In the next couple of weeks I have a sigmoidoscopy to check for endo growing on my bowel/large intestine. I got an enema for this sent to me in the post which was a treat. If nothing is found or can be removed I'm told I'll be referred for MRI's to look for endo that has grown deeper i.e. not on the surface of organs, but tissue that has penetrated the walls of them (sorry that my medical jargon is absolute shit - I can barely get my head around a lot of it and investigating further only serves to make me anxious at the moment). I also have my first pain clinic appointment where they may not be familiar with endo and they definitely won’t be familiar with the bone condition I have and yet again I’ll sit and explain to a room of doctors that I honestly don’t know what to do or try anymore and hope that they’ll come up with a solution.

Endo always comes with that feeling of being in limbo - do I want them to find that more has grown? Hopefully in a place where it can be removed and maybe I'll have a length of time with less pain? Or do I want nothing to be found so that I don't have to have more surgery, investigations and worry.

It’s the paradox of wanting your pain to be legitimized but never being able to fully come to terms with the aggressive and endless nature of the disease, as well as feeling reluctant to keep going with investigations because the exhausting pain leaves you with a complete lack of motivation. The fact is you can build yourself up as much as you like and endo will probably knock you down eventually. As one aspect might get better, another could get worse and that’s something that you just have to be ready for. It’s a constant balancing act: trying to be resilient whilst allowing yourself to be vulnerable, guarded yet open, hard but soft so you’re ready for disappointment but don’t live in a constant state of expecting it. Maintaining all of this in a situation rife with anxiety and uncertainty is really fucking hard.  

The fact that it’s still not taken seriously is especially difficult when I read about other women, the incredibly strong and resilient and wonderful ones on the support groups I'm part of who have had years of their life ruined by endo. They have had organs removed, patches growing on their spines that are so painful they can't lie down, hysterectomies with the promise that they are a 'cure', that in fact don't help at all and leave them heavily scarred and infertile. That is something far worse than my own pain right now, and some of these women don't have support like I do. The treatments are all experimental, not proven to work and given to you with no knowledge of long term side effects. The next treatment that has been offered to me is Lupron, an injection which puts your body into early menopause, with all the issues that come with it: hot flashes, increased sweating, night sweats, tiredness, headache, upset stomach, breast changes, acne, joint/muscle aches, trouble sleeping, reduced sex drive, dizziness, to name a few. This is all with no guarantee of pain relief or healing the endo and a small 6 month period of usage because of the effects it has on bone density. There is also no time frame on when your fertility/cycle will resume as normal and when it does, chances are the endo will come back. As you can imagine, at the age of 24, whilst trying to navigate big and small life decisions, make new friendships, find a healthy relationship, adjust to moving city, going back to education, managing depression/anxiety and two chronic conditions, the thought of having this put on me as well is far too much to bear.

I have had a relatively pain free week but I am so aware of what will be coming in the next few and now that I'm back at university after over a month off, I'm feeling the stress of it all. Today I'm hoping to hear back from jobs I've applied for but could just as easily be calling in sick as soon I start, back to crying in the fetal position and feeling guilty for not being able to do what 'everyone else' does on a daily basis and instead resigning to the fact that for one week a month I’ll be on the edge of despair and the three weeks before will be spent anticipating it. As much as I don’t feel like it right now I’m going to try and end this with something positive, the fact that new treatments are being trialled and are, to an extent, successful. It’s not too much of a comfort seeing as they’re all US based and in early stages and unproven but reading these things can give you a glimmer of hope. In a lot of ways I’m hugely better than I was last year and that’s something that’s important to appreciate. If you have endometriosis you’ll probably understand the bittersweet feeling of a diagnosis and how it at least prompts you to make life changes and fully acknowledge ways that you can make yourself feel better. In my case I moved, changed my lifestyle somewhat, stopped getting into unhealthy relationship patterns and started studying something I love, and those are all good things. I felt mega embarrassed writing this because my usual way of dealing with anxiety after medical procedures is to shut down completely and not acknowledge how shit it makes me feel but it’s probably time to change that. As usual feel free to messages with endo questions or anything else because I am very happy to answer them.

[invertedfate]

A Shift in Fate - Part 3;

Back again with some more crossover. As always, this is co-written by Voltra, creator of @ut-storyshift, and this time we have probably two of the most anticipated characters appearing. Fun stuff! Characters: IF Frisk, Sans, Papyrus, Flowey; Storyshift Chara, Asriel, Papyrus Rating: PG Summary: Upon venturing from the Ruins, Frisk stumbles upon another human! A very mysterious human with cool teleportation powers, and their adorable goat sibling. Little do they realize, they’re not alone. If you’re new to the crossover, here are part 1 and part 2 respectively!

It doesn't take long for the Caretaker to make his way to the bake sale. He's been here long enough to memorize every room. He even helped them set up way back when the Ruins were still being carved out, forming a strong friendship in the process. Along the way he glances back at his younger other.

"HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?"

"I'M GREAT, AS ALWAYS! THOUGH... WELL, I DO HOPE THE HUMAN WILL BE ALL RIGHT IN OUR ABSENCE." Science Pap can't help but peek over his shoulder, as if the kid will turn up at any moment. "THOUGH I SUPPOSE WITH SANS THERE, IT ISN'T AN IMMEDIATE CONCERN..." This spider bake sale. Hm! Well, he'll poke his head inside, see what the fuss is about. "COME TO THINK OF IT, I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT A SPIDER BAKESALE IN HOTLAND AS WELL."

"IF THEY ARE ANYTHING LIKE THE SAME HUMAN I SAW EARLIER, THEN THEY WILL BE FINE." Popyrus says this pretty confidently. That human has made it to Hotland after all, they are practically almost out! "I BELIEVE THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER STAND BEING SET UP NEAR NEW HOME TO GET NEW CUSTOMERS." Speaking of the spiders, he pokes one of their webs gently. "EXCUSE ME, THE DOOR TO SNOWDIN WILL BE OPEN FOR A MINUTE SOON. LETTING EVERYONE KNOW SO THEY CAN BUNDLE UP."

"WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA." And, not wasting a moment, the more scientifically inclined skeleton whips out a small glass dome... with rainbow flames burning inside. "WHILE WE EMBARK INTO SNOWDIN'S FRIGID CLIMATE, THIS FIREGLOBE WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH THE WARMTH NECESSARY TO FEND OFF UNWANTED COLD!"

The Caretaker's eye sockets widen. "DID YOU MAKE THIS? IT'S INCREDIBLE!"

A couple of spiders come down, look over the globe, shrug, then cling to it and take it up to their homes. It's odd but it looks like it will work.

"NYEH HEH HEH! WHY, THANK YOU! IT'S JUST ANOTHER ONE OF MY MANY SCIENTIFIC MARVELS, CAREFULLY CRAFTED BASED ON ADVANCED COOLCULATIONS." He winks. "WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS PATENTED BY YOURS TRULY." x.x.x Meanwhile, Frisk has opted to venture their way downstairs. Sure, they should probably wait for Pap, but curiosity's nabbed them by the chest. They, of course, left a note for the Papyruses on the main floor, just by the stairway. However, while that's perfectly sound for Frisk, it's less so for Sans.

Though for now, he follows silently as Frisk ventures down a long corridor, then another, drawing closer and closer to Snowdin's chilling wilderness. As they return outdoors, they become all the more grateful for their winter duds.

The familiar cold nips at their face. Strange how it looks like almost nothing has changed. Well, there's no paper covering the camera in the bush here. Nothing to worry about then?

Someone at the end of the hall is on high alert. A door that has never opened is now open? Maybe this time he actually...

Shortcuts are faster than feet. They have to be sure. A blur of green appears before Frisk. Neither person sees who they were expecting.

"Huh? How did you come out of the Ruins again? Or rather, how did you get in again?"

Frisk nearly jumps as the figure appears. Their eyes pop wide open, and for a moment, they stare.

* ...What?

* No.

* This is...

* They're...

A familiar voice, but the human's lips didn't move. So what's going on? What does this MEAN? Frisk doesn't mean to, but they continue staring for a few moments, until it dawns on them that a) this is probably a bit rude, and b) they probably look like an idiot.

Well. There's one way to recover from this, and so they straighten their hat, clear their throat, and crack a smile. This kid said something about the Ruins, right? They didn't pick up on the specifics, but uh...

"Because I'd be ruined without you."

Somewhere under the ground, Flowey is trying to repress a scream. Is this seriously happening? That voice. He knows that voice, but he can’t come out and see them. Too risky. What if the Trashbag followed them? Can he really risk being caught like this? But if his suspicions are true…

And of course the kid had to make a cheesy pickup to top it all off!

The hooded human snorts. Okay, that was a good one. "Well aren't you a cha-" They freeze up and their eyes widen, maybe even more so than Frisk's were before. What was supposed to be a two syllable 'charmer' is now a soft 'aaaaaa' before they give themselves a smack on the side of the mouth. THAT will need some explaining. But first things first. "Aren't you, uh, supposed to be in Hotland? I saw you on the last broadcast and you weren't wearing those nice looking snow clothes."

Oh, hey. They liked the pickup? Frisk heaves a small sigh of relief, then promptly proceeds to straighten their hat a bit. Or start to, anyway, but when Hotland comes up, their smile falters for a split-second. Boy, this is gonna happen a lot, isn't it?

"Uh, funny story. See, I'm kinda... from a parallel dimension."

Silence falls onto the pair. The hooded human seems torn between laughing and staying frozen. They glance around Frisk, as if looking for some sort of prank crew to come around and tell them they are on T.V. and just been duped. It never comes and their jaw slides back into a semi-confident smile.

"Okay. I suppose that would explain how you got all the way back here... what's your name?"

"Frisk." And it's there that a little laugh escapes them, and they rub the back of their neck. "Funny thing is, you're the first person that's asked." Which is odd. Did monsters just not care about names, or was it because they're human? A slight crease forms in their brow at that thought. There's another question at the tip of their tongue-- can this kid read minds? Are they telepathic?

Their own, weird head voice remains quiet. Eerily so.

All the while, a laugh escapes the hooded human, half out of feeling the tension lessen. "It took a while for my family to ask my name. They were busy with other stuff at the time." Like making sure they ate and were okay. But Frisk doesn't need to worry about that. They offer a red gloved hand. "Hello again, Frisk. My name is Chara."

So it's them. It's them. It really is Chara! There's a slight shifting in the soil. Very subtle. For now, Flowey remains tucked away. They don't wanna get ahead of themselves, even if a part of them most certainly does. An odd sort of paradox. However, while the name registers to one other in the vicinity, the lack of familiarity for Frisk prompts them to reach out and shake that hand without a second thought.

"Heh, well, nice to meet you... again?" And after a moment, Frisk can't help but wink. "Hope I made a good impression, even if it's not really the first." There. That's smooth. That's cool. Perfectly appropriate. Memorable. Maybe? Hopefully. Yeah.

"You did just fine." Man, that cool kid act is pretty transparent. Just like Rei. Speaking of, isn't he nearby? Yeah actually, they were touching up Chara's sentry station, aka doodling on it with some freshly fallen markers. "Come on, you can make another cool impression on my brother up ahead." Hand. Still holding hand. Well. This is nice but also a little awkward. ...maybe they can make this work. "Want to try going the fast way?"

"Yes." If that means getting to teleport? Absolutely. In fact, Frisk was gonna remove their hand until Chara brought that up. Are they supposed to keep holding on? Is there some kinda trick to it? How are they so relaxed? Why isn't FRISK relaxed? This was so much easier when they were surrounded by goofy skeletons and sassy flowers. "So, what do I gotta do?"

"Hold on." Chara pauses for a second. "Probably should close your eyes." Chara takes a step... and they are behind a cardboard wall filled with torn empty chocolate wrappers. The jolt wears off for Chara fast enough, but probably less so for their passenger.

"Welcome back, Chara! Everything okay?" chirps a voice on the other side of the wall.

"Yep, just had to pick someone up."

Bwuh. The sensation of being pulled from one place to the next leaves 'em frozen for a few seconds. It's not a huge shift from Papyrus' teleporters, but it takes a moment for their surroundings to set in, and when they do, Frisk can't help but notice the chocolate wrappings lying around. Weird. Is there more where that came from?

Well, there's no time to ask as a new voice chimes in. Perking up, Frisk tries taking a peek at this new stranger.

The snow's shifting even more fiercely than before. That voice. HIS voice. He knew this was coming. Flowey fully expected this.

That doesn't make it any easier to grasp.

A living, breathing Asriel. Chipper and cheerful and perfectly safe, totally unaware of the twisted fate his parallel double endured. Death due to his own pitiful pacifism. Revial as a soulless plant. All those RESETS, his losses and his victories… Haha. Ha. What would either of them think if they knew? Yet gain, the urge to rise from beneath the snowy soil rears its head, and yet again, Flowey represses that urge. He’ll just watch. He’ll listen. Spring up at just the right moment.

Frisk continues to remain unaware of his floral friend’s internal struggle, instead focusing on the fluffy stranger before them. If they’d met Asgore when he was younger, he might have looked like this. This monster is clearly still a kid, no horns have even grown out. Their rainbow bandanna stands out amongst the white snow with ease. It looks like they are doodling on the other side of the wall in marker right now. That stops as soon as he sees Frisk.

"Oh! It's you again! ...nice hat."

…Still, it’s a tiny Asgore. A tiny Asgore with an adorable bandanna and they're so fluffy. And those floppy ears. Maybe it's due to Frisk's soft spot for cute critters, maybe it's because this goat isn't a big, manly beefcake, but they let out an "Aw" on pure impulse.

Except...

Briefly, their face pales. A shiver races down their spine. For a moment, the little goat seems to stretch. The surroundings blur. Horns, spikes, wings, wicked laughter, and an endless sea of black. They're sinking into the snow as if it's quicksand. They can't escape, they can't—

As soon as they blink, it's gone. The image fades rapidly, a blur. Was it even there at all? Awkward laughter escapes them, and they flash a big smile.

"Thanks, but it's nowhere near as COOL as that bandanna." There. Nailed it.

The minor freak out does get an odd look from both siblings, but Asriel quickly forgets it in swelling with pride. "I-I'm glad you noticed!" He adjusts the colorful garment with a slightly forced smile. Act cool, act cool!

Chara soon cuts in. "So Asriel, this is another version of the same human we saw before."

"Pfft!" Asriel covers his muzzle in disbelief. "Nice joke, Chara."

"I'm not joking, Rei."

The goat-like monster whines. "Stop calling me that in front of the newcomer..."

Frisk has to bite their lip for a moment. Oh god, they can already SEE a pun coming, but they gotta resist. Can't do too many at once, or it might look like a gimmick. And they don't wanna be too cheap or irritating around this cool human and their adorable, goat sibling. Still, the antics bring some more genuine laughter in the aftermath of... whatever that was, and they welcome this change of focus.

"No, I'm literally from a parallel dimension where Asgore lives in the Ruins and Papyrus is a great big nerd." For a moment, they glance back toward the direction they came. "It'd be easier to prove if he was HERE, but I'm pretty sure he's still in the Ruins with his double... and Sans, I guess?"

Boy, this is gonna be a lot to explain, isn't it?

"Why would Dad be in the Ruins?"

"You know Papyrus!?" Both siblings speak at once, one clearly more shocked than the other. Asriel seems skeptical and confused, but at least not laughing at the idea.

"Do I know him? He's practically been glued to me since we met up... right here, actually." In fact, just for fun, Frisk straightens their posture, clears their throat, puffs out their chest, and does their best Pap impression. "BUT PERHAPS THAT'S A RESULT OF HIS MAGNETIC PERSONALITY!"

Oh god. Sans can't help but chuckle at that, though he at least tries to muffle it with his mitten. Gotta stay incognito for now, while Frisk carries on.

"He's... also kinda an inventor, I guess? He's made working teleporters and invisibility machines, so." They shrug. He's a bit eccentric, but that's not a bad thing.

"That sounds really cool," Asriel admits. A lot of detail for something that could be made up. Maybe it's real after all?

Chara inwardly is thankful that Frisk is focused more on Asriel right now. Shock is still written all over their face and a gloved hand has the duty of covering up a massively growing smile.

"Yep! In fact, I got a little something..." They dig through their pockets, whipping out that oh so pretty fireglobe. "Right here! Scientifically enhanced fire. Pretty sweet, right?" They hold it out for Asriel to get a closer look, but oh. Don't think they've forgotten you, Chara. The expression lights up a light bulb in their head, and they look away from Rei for a moment. "And y'know, I'd be happy to introduce you myself."

Both siblings' eyes light up. The fireglobe is definitely a factor, but the extra sparkle in Chara's eyes hints at another reason.

"Thank you." They murmur under their breath.

"No prob." Though Frisk's smile takes a turn for the sheepish. "Just, uh. As a heads up, Papyrus might try to... well. Protect you. A lot." Heh. Now, that'd be something. "But since you've got cool powers, I doubt you need too much help."

Chara smiles softly. What they don't know... "The extra help is always appreciated."

Asriel is still mesmerized by the fireglobe. He reaches out, but hesitates about touching the globe itself. "It doesn't burn, does it?"

Frisk was about to comment, but another voice cuts in before they get the chance.

"only if ya break the glass."

And it's here that Sans finally steps out from behind the trees, hands in his pockets and his lazy smile as present as ever. His eyes fall on Chara, though he makes no sudden moves, opting to watch and see how the kids take his appearance.

Asriel returns to confusion land at the sight of the unfamiliar skeleton. Chara on the other hand bows their head. "Good to see you again, your highness."

Asriel's head whips to the side so fast that his ears smack his face. "Wha- that's the King!?"

"He is in our world but I don't think he'd be so far from his castle."

Asriel turns back to Sans with a look of awe on his face. "It's nice to meet you!"

Sans can't help but snort at the comment. "wow. a king. dunno about you, but i think that'd be a ROYAL pain. i mean, who wants to put up with that much responsibility?" He shrugs shis shoulders and holds up his palms in a nonthreatening gesture. "nah, think i'm pretty cozy as guard captain number two."

Crunch, crunch, he finally steps forward. "so. another human. that's new."

"New AND cool," Frisk adds. "I mean, they've got teleportation powers." And they're kinda cute, but that goes unsaid. "...Actually, I didn't even know humans could HAVE powers." That's a lie. They have their RESETS after all.

But, well. Should they mention it to Chara? Maybe when they're alone.

'That sounds like they mean the opposite. Looks like there's another demon in town.' Chara blushes a little bit at all the lies Frisk keeps throwing out and tugs at the side of their hood.

"Chara's been here for a while actually. About three years now, right?" Asriel looks at Chara for confirmation.

"Just about, give or take a month."

"...And you're safe? Nobody's given you a hard time?" There's a hint of disbelief to Frisk's voice, and they turn to Sans, who at first stays silent. That's, uh. Interesting. Very interesting.

Ultimately, he shrugs. "different timelines, different rules. besides, if they're livin' in snowdin, i doubt there's much to worry about."

"And if there was any problems, they'd have to take it up with Mom!" Rei says with a flourish.

"She's really protective of me, for obvious reasons." Chara on the other hand seems a bit embarrassed over this fact.

"heh. that's tori for ya." There's a subdued chuckle from Sans, almost wistful. "sounds like you're in good hands, then. but, uh— what's her status? can't be queen..." So where's she fit into the picture? So much has changed that it's hard to draw any direct connections with the placements. Two siblings in Snowdin... so does that make them an analog to him and Pap? But neither kid looks like a scientist or vice captain.

Weird.

Frisk, however, can't help but note, "She'd probably get along great with Papyrus, then. But if we put 'em in the same room..." Well. That'd be some intense coddling, huh?

"eh, i'm sure we'll find out soon enough. i mean, she's probably... chilling in town, right?" Sans winks, fully aware of his bad joke but not particularly upset about it.

Asriel beats Chara to the punch on this. "Actually she's probably still patrolling in Waterfall. Has to make sure all the kids there are in school."

"Yeah," Chara gives a slightly annoyed look at being cut off. "Captain's duties."

Oh god. That comment makes Sans' smile grow by a hair. "yeah, that sounds like somethin' she'd do." If she were captain, and if she weren't so... disheartened. Though that goes unsaid. No way is he gonna be a downer at a time like this. "so your mom's out in waterfall... that mean you two are on your own?" Kinda young for that, but one of them IS a human. A human who, in another timeline, made some... questionable choices.

For now, he'll keep cool. No point in making assumptions when the kids seem... pretty normal as far as kids go.

"Man, that's some family," says Frisk, somewhat wistful. But a few dots are beginning to connect. Asgore is their dad, but he's in Hotland. Their mom is Toriel, the queen... now captain? Which means Asgore and Toriel... which means...

* Yes. * That's exactly what it means.

"Heheh..." They rub their neck, head ducked slightly. "So... What do you guys do for fun?" That seems like a good distraction from potentially confusing thoughts. This is a lot to take in, but it'd be nice to just... let loose for a while. Goof off with some kids their age.

While all this is going on, a certain scientific skeleton has just finished dashing through the house, and, "THEY'RE GONE!" Huffing, he stops, turning to his handsome double before bolting out the door and into the snow. "...I BLAME SANS." A thorough lock up of the house ensues, but it’s not long before both skeletons dash out of the Ruins and into the snow. Once they step outside, Science Pap takes a cursory look around. "HMM... YOU DON'T THINK THEY'VE ALREADY MADE IT TO TOWN, HAVE YOU? I SWEAR, IF SANS TOOK THEM TO GRILLBY'S BEHIND MY BACK..." Sighing, he looks to his double. "WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING WE'RE BOTH TALL, LONG-LEGGED, AND WITTY!" Clearly, their combined genius will solve this conundrum! "TO BE HONEST," says the older skeleton while looking back at the other side of the Ruins door. "I HAVEN'T BEEN TO SNOWDIN SINCE I FIRST CAME HERE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE LAYOUT IS LIKE. BUT IF I HAD TO GUESS, THEY HAVE TO BE NEARBY." And perhaps... they will be here?

Further ahead, the conversation continues. "Yeah, we're on our own most of the time." Chara replies, glancing down at the ground. No kids like to be interrogated. And that's what it sure feels like.

"We play Humans and Monsters mostly. Want to join us?" Asriel looks over at Frisk with hopeful eyes. Another person to play with? Please?

Frisk briefly looks to Sans, brow raised and frowning faintly. "Maybe you should cool it with the questions." But, onto brighter news, they shoot Asriel a grin. "And, hey, I'm down for that! Truth is, I could use a break from all the, er... Well, the point is, it'd be nice to actually-"

But before they can finish, there's a loud gasp and an even louder voice. "HUMAN!!!" And in comes a certain scientific skeleton, bolting through the snow and straight toward his friend and brother... before promptly stopping because, oh. Hi. Tiny goat person and human clone? "I MEAN... HUMANS? WOWIE, I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS!"

Asriel is shocked at the newcomer, but something about that voice made him look at Chara.

That voice. Could it really be? Chara is still as a stone and filled with hope.

"HOLD ON, I'M COMING ALONG!!" There. That's him. There's no doubt about it. Chara takes off towards the voice.

The human is coming closer! Well, one of them, anyway. Granted, Frisk soon trails after, while Sans watches with caution. He can't act rash, but a Chara running this close to his bro. Bros? Well, to Papyruses, anyway... What's gonna happen? This is kinda a big deal.

The science Papyrus offers Chara a friendly wave. "GREETINGS, NEW HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS... AS IS HE." He gestures to his double.

Chara darts past Science Papyrus. No offense, just some things have to come first.

Caretaker Pap seems surprised at the child that just clung to his legs and wobbles off balance for a moment. He looks down at the human for a few seconds before asking.

"CHARA? IS THAT YOU?" The child nods into his robes, shaking softly. He gives a big smile and kneels down, petting the sniffling child reassuringly. "I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU TOO."

Sans remains still, but his eyes are glued to Chara. He's watching, not even blinking. That's awfully close to a version of his bro. It'd be so easy to take advantage of his lowered guard. One good hit... A human could do it. Easy.

Flowey, while unseen is listening intently. Bad enough that a version of his old self is around. Bad enough that he has to hide while CHARA is there. This Chara is... strangely close to Papyrus, but why? How? What does it MEAN? Sure, Papyrus is amusing and interesting and eccentric, but why isn't it ASRIEL who's...?

Finally, Frisk moves in, not too close so not to interrupt, but. "Hey. You okay, Chara?" The crying sure comes as a surprise. "C-CHARA...?" Science Papyrus' eye sockets nearly  double in size. Wasn't that the child who...? But they look so happy. So sincere! And far be it from him to cast judgment on a human he's just met. Still, squinting, he assesses them, trying to read their LOVE and EXP levels.

1 LOVE, 0 EXP. The child picked up into the Caretaker's arms hasn't hurt anyone. Said child is also clinging to the skeleton and trying their damnest to hide their face from the others.

"I-I'm fine. J-just really happy." Chara rubs their face with a glove and smiles back at Frisk with a mostly clean face. Asriel overcame his case of double takes and now steps forward with a crunch of the snow.

"...Good. Just wanted to make sure, y'know?" So, happy tears. That's definitely a good thing, though Frisk will have to ask about Papyrus later. Such a tearful greeting must carry some history behind it. Is this Papyrus to Chara what their Papyrus is to them? Well, the crunching of snow pulls their mind from such thoughts at the moment, and Frisk steps aside to give Asriel room to move closer.

Except upon spotting him, Science Papyrus lets out a tremendous gasp. "OH. MY. GOD!!!!" He points, eye sockets all buggy. "IT'S A TINY TORIEL! HELLO, YOUR... MAJESTY? HIGHNESS? I ALWAYS GET THOSE TWO MIXED UP!"

"Tor- I'm not my mommie!!" Asriel blurts out without meaning. It takes a moment for him to catch the embarrassing name and settles for covering his face in hands and ear to hide the blush.

"HELLO TO YOU TOO, ASRIEL!" Caretaker Papyrus calls out as he approaches the group.

"Hello, mister skeleton..." The blushing goat mumbles.

"AS... OH. OH!!!" If possible, the scientist Papyrus' eye's get even buggier. "THEN YOU, TINY HUMAN... BUT YOU'RE VERY MUCH ALIVE... BUT THEN, THIS *IS* ANOTHER TIMELINE. WOWIE! THIS IS BOTH CONFUSING AND CAPTIVATING AT THE SAME TIME!!!"

"eh." Sans shrugs. "infinite outcomes, y'know? but man, talk about a huge crowd..." He glances around the group, his smiling face unreadable. "so. what's the plan? personally, i could go for some burg right about now."

Asriel picks up on something very odd about what Papyrus said. Will definitely have to ask about that later. "Hey!" Chara half squeaks. No, it's not because they were crying. "How about we head into town? No point talking in the middle of the snow forever."

"IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE HOW MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE I LEFT AS WELL," Popyrus adds.

"Sounds pretty... cool to me." Frisk cracks a grin, lifting their chin and trying to play it cool again. Please enjoy their sense of humor, cool human.

The science Papyrus' eye socket twitches a little, and he looks like he's trying to hide a smile. Sans, in the mean time, chuckles.

"so... anyone up for a shortcut?"

"Yeah, sounds great." Chara somewhat reluctantly lets themselves down out of Caretaker Pap's arms. "All the other guards should be back at Grillby's at this time."

"You can do shortcuts too Ki- Mister Sans?" It was a quick catch before Asriel corrects himself.

Frisk gulps. Other guards? That's... a little foreboding, though they try to hide their unease with a slightly twitchy smile.

And Sans responds with a nod. "yup, it's kinda my thing." And he motions for the others to come closer. Somewhat reluctantly, his brother obliges. "all right, so... sounds like at least a few of us are used to shortcuts by now. those that aren't, it might tingle a little."

'Kinda your thing, huh?' Something about that strikes Chara as odd. As does Frisk's attempt at hiding their unease about... something. Chara doesn't know what. But they do know what could help out. Chara walks over to Frisk, takes their hand, and-

They aren't there anymore.

"Wha- Chara!! You left me behind!!!" Cries out the small goat.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus tries reaching out for them, but nope. They're too fast. Curses!

"...welp." Shaking his head, Sans plods closer to the little goat and plops a hand on his shoulder. "all right, then. bro, bro, kiddo... looks like we'll be making the jump as a group."

He gives the elder Papyrus a chance to come closer-- just in case this whole thing's disorienting. Once they're all ready, he'll make the jump. To Be Continued