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inkskinned · 1 year

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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

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obsob · 4 months

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once more around the sun!! :3

#mine #cats #happy new year!!! a little late but alas #i didnt like th colours here but now i love them hehehehehheheh #i hope everyone had a good holidays life development for me is i now like ice hockey #in my sports fan era...these greasy sweaty bloody white men...intrigue me #also i got a new diary!! im using th hobonichi cousin in kinda alarmed by it ngl a5 is a lot of space to fill #i tried the hobonichi techo a couple years ago n found it a rlly weird size 2 work in but now.........big page scawwy #im trying not 2 b too insane about it . like relax who cares #if i do cute spreads i will share them :3 #also in th same vein im not setting a book goal this year !! tbh i surpassed my goal last year by a lot and wasnt stressed about it at All #but i get so guilty about not reading sometimes like girl . guilty to who? god? are we catholic now? get a grip #anyway anway im going to toot on my flute and then eat my weight in mac n cheese #love how i had to get a new cork in my flute bc i didnt play for like 10 months n th guy was like play regularly! n i was like yeh will do!#and then did not do that #alas...time escapes me

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spocks-kaathyra · 1 month

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experimenting w making little trek dolls for the STLV craft swap :))

#sisko first bc idk how I'm gonna make hair LMAO but isn't he so cute??#made the doll a while ago but I just made his little outfit today and yesterday :))#hopefully giving them away for free means no one will mind the shoddy craftsmanship lmao #I think I've set a new record for terrible hand sewing. and there's raw edges on the inside. and none of the thread is the right color #but WHO CARES HES SO CUTE!!!!#it's the early ds9 uniform bc I've been watching voy and I'm sooo enamored with their uniforms ugh I need to make an actual life size one #watching voyager will have u saying things like. surely it can't be that hard to sew an invisible zipper??#anyways. need to figure out how to make hair so I can make characters other than him and picard 💀💀#ds9 #star trek #benjamin sisko #deep space nine #captain sisko #narcissus's echoes #narcissus plays dress up #(?)

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spyglahass · 6 months

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I head canon that Jimmy has the dead anime mom hair of death

And this is why he always dies first

it just happens to him

#my pc is still in the gutter o7 #so i dont have brush setting so i guess im trying new ones kjsdgfksdj #also love the idea that watchers just give him forceful haircuts \#jimmy solidarity #life series #secret life #double life #3rd life #limited life #mcyt #my art

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ruporas · 6 months

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hugs hugs hugs (ID in alt)

#nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #trigun #trigun maximum #and i guess #trigun maximum spoilers #i feel like i could talk forever about wolfwood’s unexpected important presence of care for the 3 of them but im also so Limited bc #half of it would be sources:just trust me #especially when it comes to meryl and wolfwood FMSMD HALF OF THEIR MAX DYNAMIC IN MY HEAD are completely pulled from those 4 panels of them #talking - its like the only scene they have together AUGHHG😭😭 But it’s fine. i love making shit up. i also think they have a good deal in #common aside from being vash’s friends (understatement) and their presence in milly's life ueeee.... and when milly BAWLED #hearing that news *explodes explodes explodes*.... anyway... this set is about wolfwood but it doesn't have to be ofc... theyre just huggin #and the 3 of them will have many more brighter hugs to share in the future #ruporas art

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lesbaurinkos · 1 month

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i have a lot of stuff due at 7:30 am and it’s currently 11 so of course i drew the whole family instead

#i wanted a new twitter icon. so i drew matching family icons. for the world <3 #what can i say… love wins. and i love these guys very dearly #now i can’t pick between tabs and dalien for my tweeter icon however i fear. Sad! much to ponder #anyhow. now i have to go draw like my life depends on it. which it does! amen #dnp #phanart #Technically!#ah whatever im not tagging everything. im setting these guys free for the world

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sualne · 1 year

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have some trans swan lake barbies

#artists on tumblr #my art #undescribed #havent seen the movie in way over a decade but the grand council of trans your gender will check out my file this month to approves or #disapprove me starting hrt. and this movie indirectly led me to me knowing i wasnt my agab at the ripe age of 4 AND the anecdote had my doc #write 'dysphorie de genre précoce' on my file which is just hilarious set of words for some reason. so i drew this as good luck for me whil #i wait for them to announce the news. infinitely funny to me that barbie's dress really is trans flag colored. foreshadowing of my life.

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kpop-locks · 3 months

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꒰ ˀˀ ↷ lyrics of songs ; edit “♡ᵎ ꒱

like/reblog | @peachy-edits

don’t repost our work or claim it as yours

new bases y’all, hope u like them :)

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that-bat · 4 months

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All of my recent art has been Life SMP (or HC) based so here's more! I like the idea of each season having a unique indicator of lives so here's some concepts, 3L is patches worn on clothes, LL is small gems used as charms or jewelry, DL has matching necklaces and LimL has a watch. I'm still working on figuring out what SL will be :(

More ramblings under the cut for those who are interested in my thoughts:

The winner of each season carries the past life in all future seasons, so my Grian will have a red patch, Scott a gem, Pearl her half of the heart, and Martyn a clock (and Scar whatever I end up deciding on for SL). The patches are supposed to look handmade and nonuniform, the gems are fairly small only about 3.5cm (less than 1.4in) but they all are roughly the same. The hearts and the watches vary depending on who they belong to, but the heart halves always match to some extent

#my scribbles #life series #life smp #3rd life #last life #double life #traffic smp #trafficblr #slowly learning how to tag for this #also the colors might be slightly off. I’m still setting up my new monitor

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simandy · 3 months

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do you guys mind if i go crazy for a moment

#im going to scream ive never made something this pretty #my brain does not acknowledge it #what do you mean >i< made this #yes this will come with that ridiculously long hair in a set #also ive got two more normal-ish lengths for the hair #i need to lay down #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #wip #cool fact: i own the silver one in real life #uncool fact: the opalite got loose one day and felt and broke down so now it's just the lone moon #i still use it tho #might buy a new one

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.

I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #art summary #It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year!#I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on.#My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3 #Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*)#There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster!#My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been-#-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit.#Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it.#And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!!#I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes.#but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary.#I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*)#I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!

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lugwen · 1 year

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etho spilling the tea about how bdubs warned him that gem/cleo will try to kill him at the family dinner

#and he went there anyway #he really wanted to set a new death record that episode right?#ethoslab #bdubs #bdoubleo100 #limited life #trafficblr #life series #my post

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tangerinesteve · 11 days

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the last few days I've been thinking about Eddie calling Steve all kinds of pet names, he and Robin have a bet, Eddie has to see how many different ones he can come up with and also aim to make Steve blush so hard he has to cover his face (this has only happened once and Robin needs to see it again).

Que Eddie, walking around calling him everything under the sun, Sweetheart, Honey, Cutie Pie, Bambi (that one gets him quite a lot of blush but still not enough), Hot Stuff, Beautiful, Daddy Long Legs (that had gotten him a glare and shove to the shoulder, and some neck blushing.) You name a sweet or weird pet name, he's used it, and gotten nowhere. Robin has broken down and started feeding him pet names to help at this point.

And then one day, just out of the fucking blue, the words "Sugar Tits" fall out of his mouth and he's mortified. But so is Steve. The blush crawls down his neck and he hides behind his hands, but he's also flustered and (seemingly) outraged. Like, picture Captain Holt from Brooklyn 99 during the BOoOooOooONE!?!?!??! situation. (And in case y'all can't picture it i made a handy guild: pictured below 👍🏻).

But Steve KEEPS bringing it up because "EDWARD WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?!?!" and Eddie is equally mortified and he's like "I DON'T KNOW IT JUST CAME OUT!!! IM SO SORRY!!"

They aren't dating when this happens. But they start dating because of it. And Eddie absolutely calls Steve sugar tits aaaaalllllll the time after this. Only when they're alone. It always makes Steve snort and blush and scowl. But he secretly adores it, cuz it always comes with Eddie hugging or kissing or cuddling him.

Meme incoming in 3...2...1...

#this is..... i dont know what this is #but i know that.... you are welcome #i couldn't get it outta my head guys so please take this and get it out of meeeee #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #mine #my memes #thats a new tag okay... cool #this is my life now #steddie crack #silly steddie shenanigans #my photo sets

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thepersonalquotes · 11 days

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Thoughts create emotions, emotions create feelings and feelings create behaviour. So it’s very important that our thoughts are positive, to attract the right people, events and circumstances into our lives.

Avis J. Williams, The Psychic Mind: A Practical Guide to Psychic Development & Spiritual Growth