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nottheweirdest · 2 years

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This is my full piece for @shadow-zine called All of Me! Title: All of Me Rating: T Wordcount: 2313 Summary: Shadow wakes up and discovers his powers absent, forcing him to figure out who he is outside of the Ultimate Lifeform.

Read it below or on ao3!

A normal person wouldn’t be getting up this early. Not by choice anyway.

But Shadow never professed to be normal, and the quiet solitude the hour before dawn offered was a time he relished. There was something special, almost otherworldly about it. It was the overlap where those that went to bed late and those that rose early both slept and the streets were quiet, businesses closed, and lights dimmed. The air had a heaviness, a sense of space outside of time where the world seemed paused.

For someone sensitive to all manner of sensory input, it was the most peaceful hour of the day. And it was always over too soon.

With a heavy sigh Shadow slid from under the light cotton sheet that covered his body and sat, stretching his arms high above his head and cracking his neck with a satisfying pop. He toyed absentmindedly with his inhibitor bands as he stood and navigated toward his adjoined bathroom before his sole carbon based roommate woke and used all the hot water.

He drew out his routine as long as he could, clinging to solitude, but… duty always called. Fully dressed and ready for the day, Shadow stepped out of his room and into the shared space of Team Dark’s apartment.

Rouge sat at the breakfast bar, both hands cradling a cup of coffee like it was something precious and divine. She looked up as Shadow entered and winked. "Mornin' Sunshine. Finally decide to grace us with your presence?"

Shadow ignored her, opting instead to make a beeline for the container of coffee beans on the counter. He grabbed a fistful while Rouge made a face of disgust and shook her head. “I don’t know how that can possibly taste good.”

Shadow popped a few of the beans into his mouth. “Says the person who puts so much cream and sugar in her mug that calling it coffee is a stretch.”

Rouge stuck her tongue out and then took a spiteful sip from her cup.

Shadow huffed softly before noting the bat’s fuzzy pink bathrobe. “Cutting it close aren’t you?” he asked, gesturing toward her attire with his coffee free hand.

“Not if you’re zapping us there.”

“I don’t have an Emerald. You’re on your own today.”

“What?” Rouge snapped, jumping up and nearly knocking her cup to the floor. “You couldn’t have told us that last night? You know my morning routine is a process!”

Shadow shrugged. “You should have started the process earlier.”

Rouge growled as she rushed past him and toward her room. “Don’t think we’re done talking about this!”

Omega ambled in from the living room and crossed his heavy metal arms over his chest in robotic discontent. Shadow threw his hands up in indignation. “You don’t have any biological needs to tend to! How could you possibly be bothered?”

“ROUGE HAS ONLY CONSUMED 1.35 OF THE REQUIRED 4 UNITS OF COFFEE. THIS DEFICIT WILL IMPACT HER ABILITY TO FUNCTION AND CAUSE UNDUE TENSION AND–”

“He means I’m gonna be a real bitch all day because of you,” Rouge called out from behind her door.

Shadow cringed. That was undoubtedly true. “I’ll grab some more on my way in.”

“You better,” Rouge grumbled.

____________________

Thirty minutes of relative peace later, Shadow darkened his phone screen and slipped it deep within his quills. A quick glance into the kitchen told him all major appliances were off and the door’s deadbolt was set. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he knew would be an immediate bombardment in the office and muttered the words that would transport him to the G.U.N. Headquarters.

But nothing happened.

There was no stomach flutter, no sensation of falling, no tingle of energy, no abrupt rush of noise and light.

Shadow opened his eyes to find himself still standing in his apartment and felt his heart quicken in alarm. He called a chaos spear to his hand, but there was no bolt of energy, not even the faintest glow. He gulped, stomach twisting, panic beginning to set in as he pushed energy toward his skates, but again… nothing.

Frantically, he patted his torso, checking for some sort of physical cause of his lack of chaos — a device, an injury — but his gloved hands touched nothing but black and red fur.

This couldn’t be happening. It was impossible. Never in his life had his power failed to heed his call. Never.

Shadow stumbled over his own feet as he backed out of the living room and toward the door. His hands trembled as he flipped the lock. Maybe he just needed a boost. Like a battery. Maybe if he could find a Chaos Emerald it would give him a jumpstart. But then again, without his abilities he wouldn’t be able to sense one, and he couldn’t go to G.U.N.... Not like this….

What would others think? What would they do if they found out he was useless to them? Would he be removed from Team Dark altogether? Permanently assigned to desk duty? How would he keep his promise to Maria?

He shook his head, his thoughts rapid firing in such quick succession they were nothing but a blur of mental turmoil. He would have to rely on technology and there was only one person he knew of, aside from Eggman, that had the tech he needed.

He leapt down the steps that led to his apartment and darted forward only to hit asphalt face first. He snarled at himself, at his shoes, at everything, and pushed to his feet. His skates were heavy and clunky without the Chaos energy that normally powered them, but they would have to do.

With one last inward insult, he made for Tails’ workshop in a dark blur, managing to arrive within minutes despite his diminished speed.

Shadow hovered under the shade of an old oak tree, careful to stay out of sight. The last thing he wanted was Sonic’s young sidekick to get directly involved, genius though he may be.

No one could know.

Fortunately his heightened sensory abilities were still working perfectly and his sensitive ears could detect no movement or sound from within. It seemed the fox wasn’t home.

As quick as he could, Shadow darted across the front lawn before pausing at the door. This was the part where he would typically Chaos Control in, but… that clearly wasn’t an option. Brute force would have to do.

He twisted the doorknob, easily breaking the lock and pushing his way inside only to immediately grab for his ears in a desperate attempt to protect himself from the most horrendous, shrieking alarm he’d ever heard.

He winced, gritting his teeth against the pain as he stumbled through the cluttered space, eyes searching for the tablet Tails referred to as the Miles Electric. After a brief scan, he located it haphazardly leaning against a stack of textbooks on the fox’s desk.

Shadow made for the device as quickly as he could, hurriedly navigating a series of obstacles on the floor while still firmly covering his ears. He tripped halfway to his destination, foot catching on a metal stool and sending it crashing to the ground, triggering a cascading ripple of destruction throughout the room.

He cursed heavily, barely catching himself from joining the mess on the floor, and limped forward until he was finally close enough to snag the Miles Electric. Eager, if not desperate, to flee the cacophony of destruction he’d wrought, he hobbled back toward the door and made for the dense, quiet cover provided by the forest.

He didn’t stop running, not for a while, not until he was far, far away from the unabating blare of Tails’ security system. With a tired sigh he brought up the tablet, turning it every which way in his hands, trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing–

He froze.

The distant clanking of metal and thunderous crash of understory being disturbed was all too familiar.

Badniks. And a lot of them by the sound of it.

Shadow kept his grip on the tablet, but let it fall to his side, ears swiveling to try and pinpoint where the bots were coming from through the ringing still present in his ears. He crouched down, ready to fight, but then… he remembered.

What was he against a hoard of robots when he didn’t have his power? Sure, he was physically stronger and faster than the average Mobian, but with no Chaos energy….

He slowly stood, gaze flickering to his sides, unsure. His mouth felt dry, his breaths were fast and shallow, and a light sweat covered his body despite the fair temperatures. His stomach was knotted and his legs felt weak….

What was happening?

The clamorous noise grew closer until Shadow’s body acted of its own accord and he found himself diving behind a dense thicket of wild blackberries. He cowered there, blending with his namesakes, both furious and terrified. Was this what life would be like if he was permanently without his powers? Is this what he would become? A coward?

He closed his eyes, disgusted with himself, but made no move to get up until the echo of mechanic footfall had faded into nothing.

“Hey! There you are!”

Shadow nearly levitated with surprise before he recognized the voice that had called out. He groaned in frustration. “What do you want?”

Sonic moved around the edges of blackberry bushes, careful of their thorns, and then plopped down next to Shadow. “You mostly. Well. And Tails’ Miles Electric.”

Shadow stood abruptly, Sonic’s company the last thing he wanted. He handed the tablet to his blue counterpart and looked away. “Tell the fox I’ll cover the cost of any damages.”

“No one’s worried about damages, dude. We’re worried about you.”

“Don’t bother.”

“It’s not a bother,” Sonic countered as he stood. “It’s what friends do.”

Shadow let out a short huff. “We are not friends.”

“Psh. Of course we are. See me going on races with any other dense hedgehogs?”

“I won’t be doing that anymore.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s none of your business,” Shadow growled, moving away.

Sonic followed close behind. “Oh c’mon, you’re not that mad at me, are you?”

“Yes,” Shadow barked, jumping on the offered excuse.

“Then why haven’t you just Chaos Controlled away to escape my ‘incessant blabbering’ as you so kindly call it all the time?”

Shadow stopped. He didn’t want Sonic to know, he didn’t want anyone to know. He’d rather just slip away, let them think he’d gone on some adventure or mission without telling anyone, but….

He gathered his courage. “I lost my Chaos abilities.”

Sonic turned to face him, trying to meet crimson eyes. “You what?”

“I can’t use Chaos energy. I can’t Chaos Control, I can’t produce a spear. I can’t even use my skates!”

Sonic tilted his head in confusion for a moment before pushing by Shadow and moving ahead. “Let’s go for a walk. And before you argue with me, just know that I’ll follow you and tell you knock knock jokes until you come along. Or go insane. So, best to just skip that part probably.”

Shadow growled under his breath, fists clenching at his sides, but grudgingly followed. They walked in silence until the trees suddenly stopped at the edge of a creek-bottomed bluff, flashes and bursts of blue from a flawless sky just visible between the broken sections of forest.

The two were quiet for a moment before Sonic finally spoke. “Who are you?”

Shadow narrowed his eyes, shooting the hero a dark look. “Idiot, I’m the Ultimate Lifeform. You know that.”

“No, that’s a title. Who are you? Outside of your abilities, outside of where you come from and how you came to exist.”

Shadow stilled, some of his anger fading, exchanged for reflective surprise. He’d never really thought about it. He was created for a purpose, made as a cure, made to be the ultimate lifeform in every way. But outside of that….

“I don’t know,” he whispered, voice barely audible.

Sonic turned to him and offered a small smile. “I do. You’re one third of Team Dark. You’re the guy who has dedicated his life to honoring a promise he made to a girl who’s been dead for over half a century! You’re the guy who’s sacrificed himself to save the world, to save me.” The hero paused until Shadow looked at him. “You didn’t do any of those things because you were the Ultimate Lifeform. You didn’t do them because you have fancy Chaos powers. You did them because you’re you, because you’re Shadow the Hedgehog.”

Shadow was silent as Sonic’s words registered. It had never occurred to him that his powers were just a small part of his identity instead of the full focus. Without them… life would certainly change, but he would still lay in bed and savor the serenity of the gray before dawn. He would still eat coffee beans. And he would still find himself irritated every time Sonic opened his mouth.

But... maybe not as much as before.

Sonic elbowed Shadow’s side playfully. “Tails got some reports of bots near the coast before I left. Wanna race?”

Shadow rolled his eyes. “It’s cheating if you have a Chaos Emerald.”

“Hmm,” Sonic smirked knowingly. “Guess you caught me!”

And then Shadow realized he’d felt the Emerald Sonic carried. He easily summoned a spear to his hand and then glanced at his rival in surprise. “How did you know?”

“Followed your Chaos signature like you taught me, actually.”

“You mean it was there the whole time?”

“Yup,” Sonic grinned, stepping backwards. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Now, how about we go ruin Egghead’s day?”

Shadow felt the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. “It would be my pleasure.”

#shadow zine #all hail shadow #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #pre relationship #identity crisis #sonic the hedgehog #rouge the bat #e 123 omega #hurt/comfort #shadow the hedgehog needs a hug #my writing #sonic fanfiction

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