#shao pointing to the phone: now look at this

[summerwritesfics]

🏢I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End, Chapter 2 - However Long You Stay Is All That I Am

Pairing: Rain/Kuai Liang Length: 6361 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Neighbours AU, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Medical Procedures, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Cheating, Cockblocking (especially relevant in this chapter LMFAO), Anxiety, Eventual Smut, Is it slowburn if the sex is fast but the emotions are slow, Minor Tanleena, 70% of this fic is me cockblocking Rain

I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End Masterlist

Notes: Hurray! Another chapter of another fic I havn’t updated in a while 😭 I’m doing it guys. Heads up, this chapter does have some discussion of past domestic abuse and past infidelity, but it’s kind of still tame atm. As a note before anyone leaves me a comment about it, I am aware that as of MK1 Rain has been given an actual name. I will however, still be referring to him as Ranjit for this story. I already started with that name and I don’t want to change it now. Chapter Title is from “All The Same” by Sick Puppies.

“Rule one of the getting laid guidebook, don't try to fuck someone who has something in the oven.” Mileena sat back in her chair, putting her feet up on the desk. “Rule two, don't have your phone with you, and if you do, don't answer it.”

Rain glared at her, head on the desk. The report had taken him far longer than he'd liked. He hoped to get it done quickly and then return to Kuai's apartment again. He was so close, Kuai was even fighting whatever anxieties he had and flirting back. But by the time he finished the report it was 3am, and somehow he doubted a booty call at that time would go down well, no matter how into it Kuai was.

“Hey, look at the bright side,” Tanya started and Rain aimed his scowl at her now, because what bright side? “You know he's gay, single and, for reasons I can't fathom, down to fuck you.”

Rain stuck his tongue out at her. She had a point though. Kuai was flustered by Rain coming on so strong, but seemed open to it. He flirted back. He looked genuinely disappointed when Rain had to leave. God fucking dammit a hot guy was going to fuck him and then the universe decided to cockblock him. That seemed fucking typical.

“Are you three actually working or are you just having a circle jerk?”

Rain sat up. His glare now on Reiko, standing in the doorway and looking at the three of them with disgust. Why the hell Shao Kahn continued to hire him, Rain had no idea, especially given what he did to Mileena while they were dating.

“Don't you have to be a douchebag somewhere else?” Tanya hissed, and it was obvious she was trying to resist the urge to walk over there and punch him. Rain wouldn't hold her back if she did.

“Don't you have work to be doing?” Reiko sneered back. Rain clenched his jaw as Reiko's gaze landed on him. “Sorry to hear your plans didn't go ahead last night.” Rain snorted, how long had Reiko been listening in to know the details? “Guy must be pretty desperate though if he considered fucking you.”

It was one thing for Tanya to tease him about something like that, but Reiko's tone made it clear this wasn't just friendly ribbing. This was malicious. It was quite frankly gross, how Reiko tried to tear him down for daring to side with Mileena after the breakup. Like Reiko wasn’t the cause of it in the first place.

“Sounds like you're jealous no one wants to touch you,” Tanya snapped back. He wanted to tell her that stooping to Reiko's level wasn't exactly the best idea.

“That's not what your girlfriend thought.” And that was why engaging seemed like a bad move. Mileena was shrinking into her seat, looking like she did not want to be here. Tanya looked like she was about to rip Reiko's head off.

“You know what, my personal life is none of your business,” Rain interrupted, hoping to god he could put an end to the argument before it really got ugly. The last thing they needed was being reprimanded for getting into a physical brawl in the office.

“Maybe you shouldn't talk about it so loudly then.” Okay being the bigger person really isn’t working. Of course it wouldn’t when the person you’re trying to put yourself above was such a condescending asshole. “I really don't want to know the details of some old guy you're going to swindle into having sex with you.”

“Then put your hands over your ears and walk away, no one's forcing you to listen.” Rain tried to ignore the weird twist of doubt now in his head. Swindle into having sex... Was he swindling Kuai into having sex with him? What did that even mean in this context?

“Whatever, I hope the guy figures you out before he gets himself hurt.”

Rain didn't get a chance to retort before Reiko disappeared, turning his back on them and leaving the room. He gave an annoyed sigh, shaking his head as he turned back to look at his friends. Tanya still looked ready to gut someone, while Mileena was staring down at her hands.

“You okay, Milly?” He asked, and Tanya's anger finally faded as she turned to her girlfriend.

Mileena looked up at them and gave a forced smile, “yeah. Let's just pretend that didn't happen.”

Rain wanted to agree except that nagging doubt was back. Mileena and Tanya were his best friends, but didn't coddle him. If he asked if they thought he was in some way tricking Kuai Liang, they would tell him their truthful opinion.

“Do... Do you guys think I'm 'swindling' Kuai to sleep with me?” He asked. He didn't particularly like the look the pair shared.

“I mean, you do seem a little preoccupied with sleeping with him, rather than getting to know him,” Mileena said, rubbing the back of her head.

“I can be interested in sleeping with him and getting to know him,” he argued. “Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.”

“I just think you need to talk to him first, see what he wants from this,” Tanya advised. “I mean he's what? A single 40 year old man? He's probably more interested in someone he can settle down with, rather than rampant sex.”

Rain hadn't really considered that. He'd been so distracted by the fact Kuai was hot and gay he hadn't really thought about what the other man could potentially be looking for in a relationship. Maybe he just wanted someone to fool around with too. But maybe it was like Tanya said and he'd want something serious. Rain wanted something casual, but that didn't mean everyone else did.

“Just be careful,” Mileena said, “he seemed really anxious, and if you aren't on the same page about this, it could really hurt him.”

Rain was a bit of a fuckboy, he openly admitted that, but he never really intended to hurt anyone. Maybe I need to slow it down a bit. 

“Alright, I'll see if I can talk to him.” He wasn't sure if he should do it before or after he had sex with him. He'd just see how things went the next time he saw him, he guessed.

“Good, until then though, we should probably get to work before someone who isn't dickface comes and yells at us,” Tanya said, picking up a pile of paper on her desk. “Did you want to go over the newest marketing pitch again before I send it off?”

“Yeah we should do that,” he agreed, although he knew that part of him would be thinking about the man living opposite to him, and how to figure out what he wants from a relationship.

Kuai hummed to himself walking down the street. It had been a good day. He'd managed to get a good chunk of the first draft done, spoken to Johnny about the scripting of the next book-turned-movie, and managed to get his bubble tea order in one take without stumbling over his words. It seemed a little silly to call that last one a win, but when you were used to always saying the wrong things, getting things right seemed like an accomplishment.

He had mostly been able to put the night before to the back of his mind too. He had thought about it though, while he sat in the park and drank his bubble tea. He really needed to figure out what Rain wanted.

Well, other than sex because that much was completely obvious.

It seemed like Rain wasn't looking for serious commitment. Just because that was how it appeared didn't mean that was what was really going on.

He'd been committed for 15 years, rushed into marriage at 20 and never really knew what it was like to not be in a long term relationship. And look what that had given him? Nothing but pain, emotional and physical. He was still healing from what had happened to him. He wouldn't rush into another serious relationship, he wouldn't let himself be hurt like that again.

He didn't think that Rain would do terrible things to him, but then he hadn't believed his husband would either. The possibility was terrifying to him.

If they could keep things casual in some way, he would appreciate it.

As he approached the apartment, he noticed the very man he needed to talk to was at the door. He looked like he was trying to figure out the trick with the door. The door clicked open and he gave a loud cheer as he did.

“I'm the best around! Nothings ever gonna keep me down!” He sang triumphantly, pumping his fist as he did. It was very endearing.

Kuai bit his knuckle to try and stop himself from laughing. Unfortunately, he snorted very loudly as a result, and Rain's head snapped around. He looked extremely embarrassed that Kuai had just seen that.

“Oh uh. You saw that, huh?” Rain sucked in a breath as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Don't worry, the secret of your dorky side is safe with me,” Kuai teased, trying not to grin. Rain gave a sheepish smile before holding the door open for him. Kuai thanked him as he slipped inside.

“So, I was actually hoping I'd catch you,” Rain finally said, following Kuai over to the elevator. “Given that I still owe you for the cakes, and I was thinking about ordering takeout tonight, I was wondering if you cared to join me?”

Huh. I wasn't expecting that. Maybe he had been wrong about Rain just wanting something casual. Or... was just having a meal together still considered casual? Kuai really didn't have enough experience with dating to be able to say.

Still, I can't really go wrong with free food, can I? 

“That does sound good,” Kuai answered with a smile, just as the elevator doors opened. “What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe a Chinese or pizza, whichever you prefer.” Rain lent against the wall of the elevator and the smile he wore made him look so handsome Kuai had to physically restrain himself from swooning.

“I could definitely go for a pizza right now,” Kuai replied, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He bit his lip. “I was hoping to talk to you, actually.”

“Huh, no kidding?” Rain hummed, pursing his lips. “There was something I was hoping to talk to you about too.” He grimaced slightly, “although it's a little personal, and we should probably wait until we're in my apartment.”

Strange. But Kuai smiled still and answered “ah, what I wanted to talk about may be better for a private place too then.”

Rain looked like he wanted to ask, but then the doors opened, and the subject was dropped and they exited as Rain asked “so, how was work today?”

“Pretty well, actually,” Kuai replied, “I made good progress on a couple of my current projects.”

Rain pursed his lips, “I don't think I've actually asked what you do for your job?”

He was right, now that Kuai thought about it. Between the questions they had asked each other and the growing sexual tension between them, the nature of their work life hadn't really come up.

“I'm a writer,” he explained, trying to figure out how in depth he wanted to go. He was well known, although not to the level of being stopped in the street like Johnny was. But at the same time, a few of his books had been made into blockbuster movies. “Currently working on a first draft of my next novel, as well as helping a friend with scripting a movie based on one of my others.”

He maybe shouldn't have mentioned the last bit when he noticed how wide Rain's eyes had gone.

“Wait, one of your books is being turned into a movie?” Rain sounded completely astonished. Even as he got his key out and tried to put it in his lock he was still looking at Kuai.

“Technically it's the third to be adapted,” Kuai admitted sheepishly. He didn't usually talk much about the movies. Not because they were bad or for lack of involvement, they were actually fairly faithful and he was involved every step of the journey.

No, it was more because after learning just who was involved, people suddenly were a lot less interested in Kuai Liang and far more interested in using him to meet world famous actor Johnny Cage.

Johnny was understanding. The last thing he wanted was Kuai being hurt because someone had carelessly used him as a gateway into fame.

“Wow, holy shit, that's amazing,” Rain stated, finally looking away long enough to actually get his key in the lock. “My brother is an actor.” Kuai felt a little apprehensive. He'd heard “my family members an actor, can you get them a part” before. Kuai still followed Rain into his apartment regardless. “Well... He's been in movies... as an extra.” Rain sighed as he shut the door behind Kuai and threw his keys onto a little table beside the door. “Although the way my family talks about him, you'd think he was Johnny fucking Cage.”

Kuai laughed nervously, partially at the mention of his dear friend, and partially because Rain's tone sounded extremely bitter. I get the feeling things aren't good with his family relationships. Still at least Rain wasn't pushing to know more about the films, or if Kuai could get his brother a better role in future ones.

“So, you never told me what you do?” Kuai tried to divert the conversation as he looked around the room. Observing at Rain's furniture, he suddenly understood the comment about Kuai's matching. There was such a mismatch of different styles and patterns.

If he was completely honest it was all extremely hideous but he knew that was just his personal opinion and definitely not a welcome one.

“Oh. Uh, nothing as exciting as you, by the sounds of it,” Rain replied, walking over to a drawer in his living room, and rooting through it. “I'm a Sales and Marketing executive.” He pulled out a pizza takeaway menu. “I'm basically behind a bunch of adverts and selling our products to clients, y'know basically making sure people actually want to buy our stuff.”

“I don't know, I think that sounds extremely interesting,” Kuai said, accepting the menu when it was offered to him. He already knew what he wanted, but it didn't hurt to pretend to look. “The closest to a normal job I've ever had was when I was 16 and doing weekends at the gas station.”

“Huh, you must have lived the starving artist life for a while then?” Rain questioned, flopping down on the couch and patting the seat next to him.

“Ah, not really. I married my ex-husband at 20 and he was ridiculously rich.” Kuai absentmindedly sat down, eyes still on the menu, trying to make sure the pizza he wanted was still available. “I technically didn't have to work, but I got bored quickly, and began writing to keep myself entertained. Sent my first draft to a couple of publishers one day on a whim, lo and behold one of them loved it and the rest is history.”

“I- Oh. Your ex-husband?”

Kuai paused.

He hadn't even realised he'd mentioned his ex. Shit. It had been a slip up, not a major one mind, but enough to make him feel apprehensive. Because usually when he mentioned him, people immediately felt entitled to know why they split up. Kuai didn't enjoy talking about that with his therapist, let alone to people he barely knew.

“Yes I was married for 15 years,” he explained, “we divorced 5 years ago.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Rain said sympathetically. “Why did you split?”

“We-“ Kuai stopped himself.

He was going to say they drifted apart but that just felt wrong to say. They didn't drift apart, Kuai just finally grew tired of the cycle. His husband berating and hurting him and then showering him with adoration and gifts. The promise that it would never happen again, only for a few days to go by and it to all start over. He would never forget the night he finally attempted to leave. He'd never forget hands on his chest, pushing at him and the sensation of falling down the stairs. He'd never forget waking up in the hospital to his husband swearing up and down Kuai had slipped and fell. He'd never forget the desperation he felt when he finally managed to slip the nurse a note that just read “he's lying, please help me”.

He took a deep breath, now was really not the time he wanted to talk about this.

“He just wasn't the man I thought I'd married,” he settled on.

Thankfully, Rain didn't seem to push for more info than that. Maybe it was clear the subject was too painful for small talk.

“Anyway,” he said with a cough, seemingly wanting to move on. “Did you decide what you want?”

“Vegi-surprise, please.” He passed the menu over to Rain, trying to smile and put the memories to the back of his mind.

“Vegetarian?” Rain questioned as he took the menu and got his phone out and started putting the number in.

“Ah, no, I just prefer vegetables on my pizza,” he explained, just before Rain put the phone to his ear.

He kept quiet as the order was made, wondering what the rest of the evening would bring.

“I can't believe you are partially behind that jingle,” Kuai exclaimed after swallowing a mouthful of pizza. Rain had been telling him about some of his previous advertising campaigns, and a very well known and annoying jingle for Outworld Superstores he'd had a part in creating. “It was stuck in my head for months!”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Rain said with a grin. He wasn't the person who performed or wrote the jingle, but he was the one who had suggested it and given it the green light. He had been repeatedly told it had ruined people's lives with its earworm nature.

It was weird. Rain didn't consider his job exciting at all. Not that he regretted it, just normally when he talked about the ins and outs beyond specific adverts, people tended to zone out. Kuai on the other hand seemed fascinated. And here was Rain thinking he'd be the one asking all the questions about Kuai's job.

Actually, Kuai had barely talked about his work, it was a little strange. He was accomplished enough to have movies made from his books. Surely that was something to brag about? Kuai was probably just more humble than Rain could ever be. Years of his accomplishments being completely ignored in favour of his brothers meant he felt the need to be bold and push them to the front.

Now that I put it like that, maybe that is more a me issue. 

He was sure Kuai would open up more as time went on. Both on his work and the mysterious ex-husband he mentioned. Rain wasn't an idiot, he could tell whatever caused them to split up was painful. He hadn't pushed, it wasn't his place. The only thing about it that bothered Rain was Tanya and Mileena's earlier warnings that Kuai might be looking for something more serious.

And 15 years sounded pretty fucking serious to Rain.

He turned to Kuai with the intention of finally bringing the subject up, only to stop when he saw the other man. He had a small amount of dip on the corner of his mouth.

“Ah, you uh- you've got a spot on you,” Rain informed him, tapping the corner of his mouth, as an opportunity came to his mind.

Kuai reached his hand and wiped his mouth, "is that better?"

Rain scooted forward, reaching a hand to Kuai's chin. "Here, let me~" he purred, before leaning in to kiss the other man.

So much for talking about things first. Kuai made a surprised huff, but it didn't take long for him to lean into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Rain's shoulders. Kuai opened his mouth and Rain took the chance to slip his tongue in. He was delighted to feel Kuai's tongue mingle with his own.

He began to shift, gently pushing Kuai back down against the couch. Rain's hands fumbled with Kuai's shirt, trying to undo the buttons. He released Kuai's lips, trailing kisses along his neck instead. Kuai moaned as Rain managed to brush aside Kuai's shirt. He pulled back slightly, just enough to observe the other man below him. Kuai was surprisingly fit, not too muscular, not too lean. His chest was covered in scars, some looked like they had potentially been from surgery, while the others he had no idea what could have caused them. Now was not the time to ask. He'd been so distracted by the scars, he'd barely registered that the other man's nipples were pierced.

Holy shit, how the hell does this man seem to fit every niche I’m into? 

“God, you're so fucking hot,” he muttered, before leaning down pressing his lips between the other mans pecs.

“R-Rain,” Kuai whimpered as Rain continued to kiss down Kuai's torso. He mostly followed one of the scars that seemed to go mostly down the middle. Kuai continued to make sweet little noises, even arching his back as if to push himself closer. He continued down, meeting Kuai's navel and slipping his tongue out and swirling it around the man's belly button.

Rain searched for the buttons on Kuai's jeans, undoing them before hooking his fingers in. He lightly tugged on the item of clothing and-

He jumped a mile when his door buzzer went off.

He sat up and stared at the intercom, before looking down to Kuai Liang. His face was bright red as he looked across at the thing that had interrupted them.

“S-should you get that?” Kuai asked, looking up at him while biting his lip.

“They can wait,” Rain decided, turning to settle back between Kuai's legs. He trailed his hands down Kuai's sides, leaning down about to kiss him. He stopped when the buzzer went off again. He grit his teeth, wanting to ignore it, until the buzzer started to rapidly go off, like someone was repeatedly pushing the button in quick succession. He gave an annoyed sigh as he pushed himself up. “Sorry, I'll just deal with this.”

God he was so fucking annoyed. As he got up and walked over to the intercom, he couldn't help but mentally berate whoever was on the other end.

He clicked the button and sharply answered with “Yes? What do you want?”

“Nice to talk to you too, Ranjit,” the familiar voice spoke back. Rain mentally groaned.

“What are you doing here Taven?” He reached a hand up to rub his temples. The last thing he needed was his brother coming over to pass judgement on how this place really wasn't up to scratch.

“I mean, I am your brother,” Taven replied. “But mostly I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Can't it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something here.” He glanced over his shoulder. Kuai was sitting up on the couch, fiddling to redo his fly up. Shit shit shit. He wasn't going to let Taven ruin this for him. Not again. He thought he was done having family members walking in on him “accidentally”.

“No not really,” Taven said, sounding annoyed. Not as annoyed as I am. “The sooner you let me up there to talk, the sooner I'll be out of your hair.”

Rain made a frustrated hand movement, before dragging it down his face and finally biting out “fine, but you'd better be quick.” He hit the button that would let the door open, waiting to give Taven enough time to get through.

He turned back to find Kuai had already done up his shirt, although he was still sitting on the couch. He looked extremely embarrassed and Rain couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

“Should I leave?” Kuai asked quietly.

“No, no, it's okay. Hopefully this'll be a few minutes tops.” Rain held his hands up, hoping it might help calm Kuai down. There was a knock on his door, and he went to open it. He was rather thankful that it was just Taven on the other side.

“So, uh, this place is where you're hiding huh?” Taven said in greeting, looking around the place like he was expecting someone to jump out at him. Rain wanted to roll his eyes so badly. “Am I allowed in?”

Rain didn't want to let him in, but he supposed it would be rude not to. He reluctantly moved aside. Taven stepped in, looking around like he was trying to scope the place out. He did a bit of a double take when he spotted Kuai.

“Oh, uh, hello?” Taven sounded confused, and Kuai looked completely out of his depth.

“Hi?” Kuai squeaked out, looking desperately towards Rain for help.

“That's my neighbour, Kuai Liang, and this is my brother, Taven,” he introduced, gesturing to each of them as he spoke.

“Oh, you didn't say you had company,” Taven said, biting his lip.

“I did say I was in the middle of something,” Rain pointed out to him, trying to not just scream in frustration.

“Uh, would- would it be better if I left?” Kuai asked again, clearly getting nervous.

“Yeah, that might be for the best,” Taven said before Rain could open his mouth to reassure Kuai it was fine.

He watched as Kuai nodded in defeat, before pushing himself up and grabbing his bag. As he made his way towards the exit, he paused briefly to give Rain a small smile.

“I'll see you later,” he whispered, before turning and leaving, closing the door behind him.

Rain just glared at Taven as he growled, “well now you've cockblocked me, you might as well tell me what the fuck you want?”

Taven shook his head in shock as he muttered “coc- huh?” He blinked a few times, “oh, my god, Ranjit, you weren't actually going to have intercourse with your neighbour were you?”

“Why do you have to refer to it like that?” Rain groaned. Why can't he just call it fucking like everyone else? “Yes, I was going to fuck him, but seeing as you've kind of ruined that plan could you please tell me why you're here?”

Taven looked like he wanted to say more on the subject of Kuai Liang, but eventually settled against it when he said “Mom's birthday party is next Friday.”

“And?” Rain rolled his hand to try and get Taven to get to the fucking point already.

“Well, I've been texting you asking if you're coming, and you've just left me on read.” Much to Rain's annoyance, Taven walked over to his kitchen, and settled down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

“I don't know if you know this, Tav, but I've been rather busy lately,” he snarled, while flailing his arms to the apartment around him.

“So too busy to send me a one word text, but not to try and seduce your new neighbour,” Taven replied, crossing his arms. “Seriously, you've been here two days. You don't even know the guy.”

“I know he's hot and I want to fuck his brains out, the rest is none of your fucking business,” Rain argued, storming over to the kitchen counter. “As for the party, I don't know yet.”

“She's your Mom-“

“No. She's your Mom! I'm nothing to her! The only reason I'm around her is because Dad couldn't keep his cock in his pants!”

The outburst lingered in the air, thick and heavy. It was a button Rain hated being pressed, Taven knew it was and yet he still insisted on bringing it up. In Delia's defence, on some level she had tried to be a supportive step-mother to Rain. It was clear, however, that her priority lay with her biological children. He knew that on some level she resented him, the constant reminder of her husband's betrayal.

He supposed she had at least tried, unlike his father.

He closed his eyes in defeat as he mumbled out, “when is it?”

“Next Friday at 6.” Taven was still looking at his hands. “If it helps, you can bring a plus one.”

“Fine, I'll be there,” he whispered, still not closing his eyes. He had a feeling Mileena and Tanya were busy next Friday, he might have to hunt for another plus one. “And I'll be with someone.”

“Thank you.” Rain opened his eyes, and hated how genuinely grateful Taven looked. “I know she'll be happy to see you there.”

I doubt that. 

“Was there anything else?” Rain asked, rubbing his face with his hand.

“No, I guess I'll leave you be,” Taven jumped off the seat and began to walk towards the door. “But, promise me that you'll be careful with the neighbour thing?” Rain just furrowed his brow at him. “We've been here before Ranjit. You rush into things, it's great for a while and in the end everyone just gets burned because they want commitment you can't offer them.” Taven reached to place a hand on Rain's shoulder. “I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but I do care about you and I don't like seeing you get hurt.”

There were so many things Rain wanted to say about that, but just couldn't. He resigned himself and just said “I'll be careful.”

Taven just nodded, wishing him a final farewell and then he was thankfully gone. As he closed the door, Rain rested his forehead against the door, resisting the urge to slam his head against it repeatedly.

Kuai sat on his couch, staring silently at his TV, despite it being turned off. He was more watching himself in the reflection. He was rubbing his fingers across his lips repeatedly, trying to soothe his nerves.

Rain had seemed very upset to see his brother. He wasn't sure if he should have stayed as a mediator, or if he'd made the right call by leaving them to it. Either way, it seemed his talk with Rain was going to have to wait. Well, not that it seemed talking was where things had been going.

It had been 5 years since Kuai last had sex. He’d thought about it a few times, but never worked up the courage. The way Rain kissed him, touched his body. He couldn’t believe how good he felt. It wasn’t until he was in that moment that he realised how much he missed that kind of intimacy. Even when he was married, that softness was limited to his ex’s good days, that man was a very selfish lover.

He didn’t want to think about that, he wanted to think about how wonderful it had felt for Rain to touch him.

So much for talking about things though. He sighed, and rubbed at his face. All it took was a kiss and I was spreading my legs for the guy. It did rather indicate that Rain was more interested in something casual, or at least, more interested in the sex aspect. If that was indeed the case, Kuai could handle that.

He jumped a mile when he heard a knock on his door. He scrambled to get up and rushed over to it. As he expected, once he opened it, there was Rain, looking extremely apologetic.

“I am so sorry,” Rain immediately told him before Kuai could even begin to utter a word. Kuai simply smiled and stepped aside to let him in.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kuai tried to assure him, shutting the door as Rain entered the apartment. He felt a flutter in his chest, realising it was probably going to be now or never in regard to that talk. “Um… So, I think now would probably be a good time to have that conversation.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.” Shang Tsung reached up to rub his face with his hand. “Um. Shall I go first?” Kuai nodded in confirmation. Honestly even bringing it up first was a big step for him, he didn’t think he could handle going first as well. “What exactly do you want from… whatever this is?” Rain gestured towards the both of them as he spoke.

So, we wanted to talk about the same thing. Funny. 

“That is what I wanted to discuss with you too, actually.” Kuai began to rub at his wrist, swallowing as he tried to think of how to explain. “I’ll be honest, I was hoping for something… casual.”

“Casual?” Rain asked, tilting his head. He didn’t look put off though, more hopeful if Kuai was reading him right.

“I don’t think I’m really ready for anything extremely committed.” Kuai bit his lip, trying to ignore how hard his heart was beating. Even though Rain showed no sign of being upset by this, the little voice in Kuai’s head wouldn’t stop telling him the other man was going to leave and never talk to him again over this. “I’d like a companion but not a partner… I don’t know if that makes sense?”

“No, no, that makes perfect sense.” Rain stepped forward, taking Kuai’s hand in his. “That’s what I’m wanting too. Just someone to have fun with.”

“Oh.” Kuai chuckled awkwardly. “Well now I feel stupid for being worried.”

“Pth, don’t. My friends kinda got in my head about how you’d probably want something more serious.” Rain rubbed the back on his neck and gave a handsome smile. “So, uh, something like friends with benefits good for you?”

Kuai laughed. Aren’t I a little old to be having friends with benefits? Still, it did sound nice. He didn’t really get to have the awkward early adult phase, it’d be nice to experience a little of what that would have been like. Even if he was about 20 years too late.

“Friends with benefits sounds perfect to me.”

He was surprised when Rain suddenly took hold of his hips and pulled them close. Kuai giggled as their lips almost touched.

“Well then, with that out of the way, where were we?”

Kuai felt a little bold, confidence brought on by the previous conversation, bringing his arms up and around Rain’s neck. He felt Rain pushing him backwards until his back hit the wall. How he resisted the urge to grind against him he had no idea. Rain’s lips were on his, and he opened them hoping for their tongues to meet again. He quite enjoyed that the first time.

It really should not have surprised Kuai when a ringtone started to sound from Rain’s pocket.

Rain pulled away, and grimaced. “I cannot believe this.”

“I’d have thought after yesterday, you’d have learnt to leave your phone behind,” Kuai teased a little, snorting when Rain pouted at him.

“You would have thought I'd have learnt my lesson, wouldn’t you?” He sighed and reached into his pocket, frowning at his phone. “I have to take this.”

Kuai nodded as Rain stepped back and answered the phone. He just stood and watched as the other man got more and more exacerbated. There was a part of Kuai that felt sorry for him, being interrupted yet again, but the other part of him that felt a little bitter that he hadn’t done the obvious of leaving the stupid device behind this time.

By the time Rain was done with the conversation, it was clear he was more than a little annoyed by it.

“Work?” Kuai gently asked, and Rain gave him an apologetic look.

“Unfortunately.” He grimaced and shook his head. “The universe really does not want me to fuck you.”

Kuai laughed despite the situation. It really seemed that tonight was not going to be the night again. But there would always be more opportunities.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Kuai pushed himself away from the wall, stepping forward and giving Rain a quick kiss on the cheek. “I promise I will still be here tomorrow.”

Rain nodded, not hiding the somewhat goofy smile on his face from Kuai’s display of affection.

“I will see you tomorrow,” Rain assured him, patting his arm slightly. All Kuai could do was sigh as Rain made his way back to the door.

As soon as it shut behind him, Kuai flopped backwards against the wall, letting himself slide down it and staring at the ceiling. Honestly, if he were a little more superstitious, he’d genuinely think the constant interruptions were the doing of Bi-Han’s ghost. Big brother always was very protective, and a little too distrustful of just about anyone who found Kuai attractive.

It was a shame he wasn’t there to stop Kuai from getting married. He was certain if Bi-Han were still alive, none of the terrible things that happened would have. He’d have beat the shit out of his ex the second he suspected so much as a finger had been laid on Kuai’s body.

But Bi-Han hadn’t been there, and he wasn’t here now. Kuai just had to believe that all of this wasn’t some kind of bad omen. Like the universe was trying to stop it from happening to protect him.

Not like the universe protected me before. 

He was due to see Johnny again tomorrow, and work together on the next script. He was generally pretty decent at relationship advice. Maybe I should ask him tomorrow? At least get some idea on what to expect and how to maintain the boundaries to keep them both safe.

Until then, well, the whole experience was starting to give him creative inspiration. He finally stood up, and rushed over to where his laptop was, determined to write some notes before he forgot everything he’d just experienced and felt.

⋞ Previous Chapter ≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

Mortal Kombat: Before the End: Stepping to the plate.

Summary: Johnny uncovers the next threat to Earthrealm. He’s not as comfortable as you’d think.

Chapter List.

Chapter List part two.

Johnny wasn’t the guy to worry when new threats came to Earthrealm. Whenever some new big bad entered the scene, Raiden often rounded up the heroes to lead them into battle. Liu Kang was often the point man; he’d take care of the main threat while the rest of the team cleared the way.

But times had changed since then. They weren’t the same force they used to be. They were spread out across realms, with their own business and threats to fight.

Liu Kang was still around, but he’d have to move on to the afterlife eventually. And Raiden was still off the grid, which worried Johnny more than he’d ever admit to anyone.

If a new threat came, who would bring the team together? Fujin may have been the new protector, and Johnny liked the guy, but he didn’t have that same commanding presence that his brother did.

For the last week, Johnny had been having reoccurring dreams involving Shinnok speaking to various people. Each place he went to, he collected photographic proof of Shinnok’s appearances.

They weren’t just dreams, they were visions. Something big was going down, and Johnny had to figure it out.

His latest dream informed him that Shinnok’s next stop was Shang Tsung’s island. Shinnok was speaking to Quan Chi on the other side of a portal. Johnny snapped a silent picture with his phone. Evidence for later. He recorded the conversation.

“The alliance has been formed, Lord Shinnok.”

“Excellent. Keep close to Shao Kahn. The brute can be too ambitious for his own business.”

Shao Kahn’s alive? What’s going on?

“It shall be done, Lord Shinnok.”

Quan Chi disappeared, and Shinnok looked to join him, until Johnny made his presence known.

“Going somewhere, gramps?”

Shinnok turned around, instantly summon a skeletal hand from the ground to try and trap his new foe. Johnny dodged out of the way, sliding towards Shinnok with a shadow kick and nailing him in the chest.

“Loathsome buffoon.” He snarled.

“You say the sweetest things.”

Johnny kept on the offensive, Shinnok’s surprise giving Johnny plenty of free hits before he was blasted with crimson magic and lifted into the air.

‘Enough of this.”

Shinnok tossed Johnny against a wall, winding the actor as he rolled over to his knees he locked eyes with his smirking adversary.

“While it has been a pleasure seeing you, I must be on my way.”

“Whatever you’re planning, it won’t work.”

Shinnok smirked, dark smoke enveloping his form.

“As if you could stop me.”

The smoke disappeared, and Shinnok along with it. Johnny stood alone in the abandoned island. While he still didn’t have an idea of his plan, he was now aware that Shinnok was getting something big in store.

Others had to know. Sonya, Sub-Zero, Fujin, anyone of the good guys.

The fate of earthrealm rested on Johnny Cage.

He wished that made it easier.

[killerandhealerqueen]

For the writing prompt: "How long have you been covering this?" from the injury discovery prompt list for tang-fei

As soon it happened, Meng Shao Fei knew he was fucked.  And by “it”, he meant getting fucking stabbed.  It wasn’t like he did it on purpose, he was chasing after a suspect and at one point he lost sight of him down an alley.  His eyes widened and he quickly chased after the suspect and as he turned the corner into the alley, before he knew what was happening, there was a knife being stabbed into his abdomen.  He grunted in pain but still managed to grab the suspect’s head and slam it into the nearby alley wall, knocking him unconscious.  As soon as the man fell unconscious, Shao Fei looked down at his shirt, which was slowly becoming soaked with blood.

“Oh, Tang Yi is going to kill me” he murmured before he huffed and quickly zipped up his jacket, making sure to hide the wound.

~*~*~*~*~

Back at the department, Shao Fei was in the locker room, carefully caring for and bandaging his wound, hissing every now and then.

‘I should probably go to a hospital…’ he thought to himself before he sighed and just tightened the bandage around his waist.

‘There…that should hold me for at least a few more hours before I can go home’ he mused.  After he bandaged himself up, he walked over to his locker and opened it up, pulling out a spare t-shirt.  He then slipped out of his blood t-shirt and threw it into the trash before slipping into the new t-shirt, making sure to be careful that he didn’t brush up against his wound.  Once he was changed, he looked in the mirror that he kept in his locker, noticing that he looked a little ashy.

“Well, no one will notice…the only person who’d maybe notice is Zhao Zi so I’ll just have to avoid him” he murmured before he sighed and slammed his locker door shut, turning and heading out of the locker room and back to his desk.

~*~*~*~*~

At his desk, as Shao Fei was working on his report, he felt the nausea come in waves, making him want to gag every now and then.  However, he pushed through, careful to not push too hard in fear of making his wound worse (not like it wasn’t bad enough already).  While he was walking, Zhao Zi walked over to him, a bright smile on his face.

“Nice catch today!” he exclaimed, giving Shao Fei a hearty slap on the back, making him grunt in pain.  Zhao Zi’s eyes widened and he looked at Shao Fei in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked.  Shao Fei just turned and glared at him.

“Fine” he hissed.  Zhao Zi stared at him before leaning down, getting up close and personal.

“You don’t look so good.  Did something happen?” he asked.  Shao Fei looked away, causing Zhao Zi to sigh.

“How bad?” he murmured.  Shao Fei was still quiet as Zhao Zi crossed his arms.

“It’s pretty bad, isn’t it?” he mused.  Shao Fei just shot him a glare.

“What do you think?” he hissed.  Zhao Zi just looked at him before he reached out and grabbed his wrist, dragging him to his feet.

“Ah, Zhao Zi—” he started but Zhao Zi just ignored him and dragged him to the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind him so that no one would barge in.

“Show me” he ordered.  Shao Fei tsked.

“Why?” he asked.  Zhao Zi raised an eyebrow before he pulled out his phone.

“If you don’t, I’ll call Jack, who’ll then call Tang Yi, who will then come hauling ass to the station to kick your ass for getting hurt, then my ass for letting you get hurt, and then anyone else’s ass because he’s in a mood and needs to get his anger out” he deadpanned.  Shao Fei looked at him before he sighed and slowly lifted up his shirt to reveal the bandages, which were stained with blood.

“Jesus Christ, what did you do?” Zhao Zi murmured as he stepped forward, gently touching the bandages, only for Shao Fei to hiss.  Zhao Zi looked up at him with wide eyes as he huffed.

“It’s not like I did this on purpose…lost the sonovabitch down an alley and when I went to follow him, he fucking stabbed me.  Besides, it’s not that bad” he explained.  Zhao Zi gave him a look.

“Not that bad?!  You look like you’re going to fucking pass out any second!  How are you still standing?!” he exclaimed.  Shao Fei chuckled.

“Sheer stubbornness” he replied.  Zhao Zi shook his head.

“Ugh, no wonder you and Tang Yi are perfect for each other…you’re both stupid” he grumbled.  Shao Fei tsked as he reached out, smacking Zhao Zi on the side of the head.

“I’m right here, remember?  You wanna talk shit, do it when I’m not standing two inches from you” he scolded.  Zhao Zhi whimpered and rubbed his head before he looked at Shao Fei.

“Are you going to be okay?  Like, can you hold out the rest of the day or should I just take you home?” he asked.  Shao Fei shook his head.

“Tang Yi won’t be home for a couple more hours…I think I can hold out a little longer” he replied.  Zhao Zi frowned.

“Are you sure?  Because you’re really starting to look pale” he explained.  Shao Fei nodded.

“I’m fine” he whispered.  Zhao Zi just looked at him before he sighed.

“Well, you did a shit job if it’s already starting to bleed again…do you want me to rebandage it?” he asked.  Shao Fei shook his head.

“No.  I’m fine.  I’m just going to work on my report then go home” he declared.  Zhao Zi looked at him before he sighed heavily.

“I’ll drive you home, okay?  You’re in no condition to drive yourself” he stated.  Shao Fei opened his mouth to argue when Zhao Zi just glared at him.

“Will you just let me help you?!  You’re going to pass out at the wheel and then that’s just a whole other mess that Tang Yi and the rest of us will have to deal with.  Just let me do this one thing” he grumbled.  Shao Fei huffed.

“Fine.  Thank you” he thanked.  Zhao Zi smiled.

“You’re welcome” he replied before he turned and headed towards the bathroom door, unlocking it before stepping out.  Shao Fei watched him leave before he sighed and pulled down his shirt, waiting a few moments before following after Zhao Zi back to the bullpen.

~*~*~*~*~

After a very long day, Zhao Zi drove Shao Fei home, glancing over at him every now and then.

“I still don’t know how you’re not dead yet” he murmured.  Shao Fei huffed.

“I told you, sheer power of will” he replied.  Zhao Zi shook his head.

“The minute Tang Yi opens the door, you’re gonna collapse right at his feet.  I can see it” he declared.  Shao Fei glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you trying to manifest that into happening?” he asked.  Zhao Zi huffed.

“Maybe that’s the only way to get you to a fucking hospital” he grumbled.  Shao Fei pouted and looked away from him.

“I don’t like hospitals” he murmured.  Zhao Zi gave him a look.

“You think any of us like hospitals?” he replied, just as they arrived at Tang Yi and Shao Fei’s house.  Zhao Zi pulled into the driveway and killed the engine as Shao Fei sighed and got out of the passenger seat.  He then slowly walked to the front door and took out his key, a sudden wave of nausea crashing over him.  His head spun but he just shook his head and opened the door.

“Tang Yi!  I’m home” he called out.  A few moments later, his partner, Tang Yi, walked out of the kitchen, an apron tied around his waist.

“Welcome home” he greeted.  Shao Fei smiled before he heard a loud ringing in his ears and the room around him began to spin.

“Tang Yi—” he croaked before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed.  Tang Yi’s eyes widened and he ran over to Shao Fei, looking over him.

“Shao Fei!  Shao Fei!” he shouted, just as Zhao Zi arrived at the door.

“Oh look.  I was right” he murmured.  Tang Yi looked up at him, narrowing his eyes.

“Right about what?” he demanded.  Zhao Zi looked at him and gulped before he cleared his throat.

“Um…I’ll explain later.  We should probably get him to a hospital” he murmured.  Tang Yi stared at him before he carefully picked Shao Fei into his arms and rushed over to Shao Fei’s car, Zhao Zi quickly unlocking the doors.  Tang Yi then placed Shao Fei in the passenger seat before he turned and looked at Zhao Zi.

“Keys” he ordered, holding out his hand.  Zhao Zi nodded and quickly handed over the keys, Tang Yi rushing to the driver’s side while Zhao Zi got in the backseat, Tang Yi speeding to the hospital.

~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, Shao Fei found himself laying in a hospital bed in a dimly lit room.

“What the—” he murmured.

“How long?” a voice asked softly from the dark, making Shao Fei jump before he narrowed his eyes and looked into the shadows to see who spoke.  Finally his eyes zeroed in on a figure leaning up against the wall and he let out a sigh.

“Tang Yi” he whispered.  The figure pushed off the wall and stepped out of the shadows and into the light, revealing themselves to be Tang Yi, who looked haunted.

“How long, Shao Fei?  How long were you hiding this?” he whispered as he walked over to the hospital bed and reached out, gently touching Shao Fei’s abdomen.  Shao Fei looked at him before he sighed.

“A while…only Zhao Zi knew” he murmured.  Tang Yi shook his head.

“Why didn’t you call me?!  Why didn’t tell me?!” he exclaimed.  Shao Fei huffed.

“Because I’ve been stabbed before, this isn’t my first rodeo Tang Yi” he grumbled before he looked at Tang Yi.

“What were you going to do even if I told you?” he asked.  Tang Yi huffed.

“Get you to a hospital earlier, you idiot!  You lost so much blood; I don’t know how you were still alive!” he shouted before he reached out and grabbed Shao Fei’s hand.

“Don’t you get it?!  You could have died, Shao Fei!  I almost lost you once, I’m not going to lose you again!” he croaked, tears in his eyes.  Shao Fei looked up at him before he gave Tang Yi’s hand a tug, pulling him down before he wrapped in a hug.

“I’m sorry.  I’m sorry Tang Yi, I didn’t mean to make you worry” he apologized.  Tang Yi just buried his face in Shao Fei’s neck, breathing in his partner’s scent.

“You can’t…do that to me.  I was so scared when you collapsed” he whispered.  Shao Fei nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry.  I was being selfish; I didn’t think about how my injury might affect you.  I’m sorry” he whispered, giving Tang Yi a squeeze.  Tang Yi huffed.

“You would be panicking just as much as I was if our roles were reversed” he murmured as he pulled away to look into Shao Fei’s eyes.  Shao Fei hummed.

“Probably” he agreed before he smiled.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, though” he mused.  Tang Yi huffed and gave him a look.

“Where else would I be other than your side?” he replied, reaching out to gently pinch Shao Fei’s cheek.  Shao Fei grinned, making Tang Yi smile as well before he reached out and stroked Shao Fei’s cheek.

“Get some rest.  You definitely need it after the day you’ve had” he murmured.  Shao Fei’s eyes widened slightly and he tightened his grip on Tang Yi’s hand.

“You’re leaving?” he whispered.  Tang Yi shook his head.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll be right here, okay?  I’m not going anywhere” he soothed.  Shao Fei nodded, never letting go of Tang Yi’s hand as his eyes slowly slipped shut, his breathing soon evening out.  Tang Yi smiled as he quietly sat down in the chair that was placed next to Shao Fei’s bed, rubbing the back of Shao Fei’s hand lovingly.  

‘I’m not going anywhere’ he promised.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I was a bit disappointed MK11 decided to feature Joker as a guest character mostly because he’s such an overused character. I like him as much as the next person, but he’s everywhere it seems, and Batman has other enemies worth considering.

Since I am an Arkham Riddler stan, and I just KNOW he’d drag everyone in the roster because that’s how he is, I came up with some potential intro dialogue for him with various Kombatants. This is focusing on Riddler from all four Batman Arkham games, with some extra emphasis on Arkham Knight Riddler.

vs. Cassie Cage

Riddler: “What is that thing?” Cassie Cage: “It’s a drone. Figured a tech nerd like you would have known that.” Riddler: “Oh, it’s a drone?” *laughs* “Looks more like a floating Roomba!”

-------------

Cassie Cage: “Yeah, I kicked Shinnok’s ass, and I’m gonna do the same to you!” Riddler: “Haha! You’d only have a smidgen of a chance even if you could put your phone down long enough to use that pitiful, juvenile mind of yours.”  Cassie Cage: “I’m taking a selfie of your carcass when this is over.”

vs. Johnny Cage

Riddler: “Don’t open your mouth, Cage. Every time you speak, you lower my IQ by 10 points.” Johnny Cage: “So if I keep speaking, does that mean I’ll lower your IQ to 0?” Riddler: “That would be utterly impossible as my intellect is far too vast to ever be reduced to nothingness.”

---------------

Johnny Cage: “What do you mean you don’t like my movies?” Riddler: “They make my superior mind ache with how utterly ridiculous and pointless they are.” Johnny Cage: “What crawled up your ass and died?”

vs. Jax Briggs

Riddler: “Those metal arms are impressive.” Jax: “They’ll knock your arrogant ass onto the ground in no time flat.” Riddler: “Heh...Only if I had constructed them.”

vs. Nightwolf

Riddler: “Finally an opponent who doesn’t have the IQ of a potato!” Nightwolf: “I take it that’s supposed to be a compliment coming from you?” Riddler: “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m still an intellectual colossus compared to you.”

--------------

Nightwolf: “So you don’t believe in any divine beings?” Riddler: “The only divine being worth believing in is me.” Nightwolf: “Why am I not surprised?”

vs. Raiden

Riddler: “Who put this idiot in charge of protecting Earthrealm?” Raiden: “You must think you can do better, I assume?” Riddler: “I am better at everything so, yes, without question.”

-----------------

Raiden: “I did all I could, not that you would understand.” Riddler: “I’m sure the revenants think you did a great job, too!” Raiden: “Your shameless arrogance must be put to an end, Riddler.”

vs. Frost

Frost: “Is it true that could could create a more advanced cybernetic body for me?” Riddler: “Yes...but I don’t waste my precious time, talent and genius on bratty kids.” Frost: “You’ll regret that!”

vs. Cetrion

Cetrion: “Your genius would be put to great use if you choose to side with Kronika.” Riddler: “Ha! I serve no one but myself.” Cetrion: “Your lack of humility will prove to be your undoing, Riddler.” 

vs. Sindel

Sindel: “Bow to me and I shall spare your life, Earthrealmer.” Riddler: “Me? Bow to you? My Dear, this superior being bows to no one.” Sindel: “Foolish man, you will learn what it costs to disobey me!”

vs. Terminator

Terminator: “You built and programmed an army of machines entirely on your own?” Riddler: “But of course! My genius knows no bounds.” Terminator: “Skynet may find a use for you.”

vs. Skarlet

Riddler: “What is your obsession with Shao Kahn?” Skarlet: “My life has purpose because of him.” Riddler: “Ahh, an idiot who worships an idiot...how lovely!”

------------

Skarlet: “I am eager to sample the blood of a genius.” Riddler: “If you need a vial of it, I’ll happily give it seeing as how you are showing some appreciation for my boundless wisdom.” Skarlet: “I want more than a vial, Riddler.”

vs. Mileena

Riddler: “I could help you, you know.” Mileena: “Help me defeat my sister and reclaim the throne? Help me avenge my beloved Tanya’s death?” Riddler: “I could fix your ghastly mouth. Dentistry isn’t my primary skill but I succeed at anything I do so I’m confident.”

vs. Shao Kahn

Riddler: “So you’re the one I’ve heard so much about?” Shao Kahn: “Yes, Earthrealmer, and if you’re smart, you will kneel before me and call me ‘Emperor.’” Riddler: “I find it difficult to believe hat a Neanderthal like you managed to rise to power.”

-----------------------

And that’s it for now! I hope to come up with some more later.

[otg2012]

Summary: Shao Fei visits Tang Yi in prison and finds out why he had been held incommunicado.

“What are you doing here?” Tang Yi says right after grabbing the phone that lets him speak to the visitor on the part of the glass.

“Hello to you too,” Shao Fei smiles.

“I’m serious, I asked you not to come,” Tang Yi says, making reference to the last time they spoke on the phone two weeks ago.

“Yeah… believe it or not, I thought about respecting your wishes for a few seconds… but then I realized that I have my own promise to keep, and I’m keeping my eyes on you whether you like it or not. You being here—It doesn’t change anything.”

“I have enough eyes on me in this place, you don’t need to worry.”

“Yeah? And what happened to your face? And your hands?” Shao Fei raises his eyebrows, pointing at Tang Yi’s handcuffed hands.

Tang Yi immediately tries to cover the bruises on his knuckles but it is useless because his fingers are not doing much better and there is no way he can do anything about the bruises on his cheeks and the cut on his forehead.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find out that they had you incommunicado for a week?” Shao Fei keeps questioning him.

Tang Yi tries his best to avoid Shao Fei’s enquiring gaze.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Tang Yi finally says.

“Too bad because I’d rather talk about it—so we’re talking about it.”

“You’re so stubborn,” Tang Yi says, finding Shao Fei’s eyes again.

“Have we met? That’s my most appealing quality—If I had not been chasing you for four years, I wouldn’t be here right now… and probably, you wouldn’t either… but let’s not think about that,” Shao Fei says, smiling. “Just tell me what happened.”

“As your very sharp detective mind must have already deduced, I was in a fight.”

“Yeah, all my years of training were pointing in that direction,” Shao Fei nods, pointing to nowhere in particular. “Please, continue.”

Tang Yi sighs. “Fine, first I must say that I didn’t start it.”

“Okay, and who did?”

After a moment of hesitation, Tang Yi finally speaks.

“Remember your friend Chien Tai?”

“What?” Shao Fei raises his eyebrows. “You mean—You mean he did this to you?”

As the realization of Tang Yi’s words sets all over Shao Fei’s face, Tang Yi thinks that he shouldn’t have said the truth. Maybe he should have invented something but he’s never lied to Shao Fei and he’s not about to start inside this place.

“Opposite to popular belief, not everybody is a Tang-Fei supporter in Taiwan. Chien Tai and whoever is left of his gang out there aren’t happy that you arrested him and ruined his business.”

“I—I had no idea he was sent here,” Shao Fei says, obviously surprised and distressed. Chien Tai is a dangerous gang leader that he was able to arrest a month after Tang Yi went to prison and the problem is that not everybody loyal to Chen Tai was arrested with him. Some of them escaped and disappeared.

“I figured that much… and this isn’t your fault. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Of course, it is.” He should have at least checked out where they had sent the guy. “What did he say to you?” Because he’s sure that there was some incitement involved too.

“It doesn’t matter,” Tang Yi shakes his head.

“It matters to me—please, tell me.”

Tang Yi licks his lips, as he decides if he should at least use a version of Chien Tai’s words.

“He made clear he knew about us… he said I was an embarrassment and…” Tang Yi hesitates, “that he’d find a way to get revenge and kill us both—one at a time.” Tang Yi’s face is emotionless but Shao Fei knows perfectly what Tang Yi is feeling and how this makes things much worse for him inside this place.

Shao Fei is speechless for a moment.

“Tang Yi…”

“When he said he’d put a bullet through your brain, I lost it.”

Shao Fei places the palm of his hand on the window between them, looking at Tang Yi’s eyes, feeling guilty, sad, and utterly powerless because he wants to hug Tang Yi—fucking touch him again. They haven’t touched since they said goodbye that morning and as much as he wants to come to see him, being here and being apart is also killing him inside.

Tang Yi hesitates for a few seconds but he finally mirrors Shao Fei’s gesture with his left hand.

The glass is cold—nothing like Shao Fei’s warm skin and Tang Yi closes his eyes. He wants to remove the hand because it doesn’t feel right.

“I wanted to kill him,” Tang Yi admits even though he knows he shouldn’t.

“Stay away,” a guard approaches Tang Yi from behind. So, Tang Yi sits back and Shao Fei reluctantly does the same.

“You can’t kill him—you can’t even touch him. You need to stay away from him. You can’t make things worse.”

“Really? And what if he doesn’t want to stay away from me? Then what?”

“Let me take care of everything,” Shao Fei insists.

“Sure. What can you do exactly?” Tang Yi asks.

Continue on AO3

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan – Beijing Beijing

Translator’s Note: This article comes from PEOPLE Magazine 2020 2nd Issue.

In between “seems beautiful” and “very beautiful”, there can be one or many different views. For example, the phrase “famous after a battle” (TN: Xiao Zhan’s “Zhan” sounds like battle in Chinese), we could analyze the keywords in many ways.

Xiao Zhan, born 1991. Could you imagine how you and I would be when we were 28? Xiao Zhan is like this –

Fan View

“His looks are totally my type” “As warm and gentle as jade, a gentleman who is peerless” “A precious boy with the soul as crystalline as prismatic glass”

“Famous after a battle”, is the most effective “wartime story”. Using this analogy in the entertainment business, there are many who had been battling for quite a while. Xiao Zhan is like this as well…

Audience View

The summer of 2019, the antihero Wei Wuxian (portrayed by Xiao Zhan), came from “The Untamed” into the living rooms of countless viewers, and straight into their hearts;

Platform View

As the Beijing TV Spring Night Spokesperson, as a celebrity with more than 20 million fans on Weibo, as Tencent’s “Most Popular Artist of 2019” and “Drama Actor of the Year”, as iQiyi’s “Breakthrough Popularity Actor of the Year”…

When we change our point of view, will the world become more interesting?

With regards to his looks, Xiao Zhan said he is “ordinary”, and only scored himself a 6.

With regards to his age, Xiao Zhan said his mother’s method of urging him to start a family has went from straight-to-the-point to indirect and tactful.

With regards to “famous after one battle”, is it really as straightforward as standing out from the big data and being ahead of everyone else? Xiao Zhan, who is 1.83m, reduced his weight from 70kg to 58kg for his outstanding portrayal of Wei Wuxian – is this really the result of a day’s work? Does anyone remember the hardworking youth, with a caption “Designer from Chongqing”, from the 2015 idol search variety show “X-Fire”? Does anyone remember that in 2016, after debuting as the lead singer for X9, Xiao Zhan admitted that there were instances of zero income, zero entertainment and zero social activities?

No matter whether it was “very beautiful” or it “seemed beautiful”, would it be free of worries?

Xiao Zhan looked down and smiled, slightly bashful, his expression serene, “Sweet worries.”

He actually loves Beijing so much

On 28 Feb 2019, I (a reporter) entered a dressing room in Beijing TV. The narrow and long dressing room had been split in the middle into two narrower sections. Near the corner, after the staff has dispersed, I finally set my eyes on Xiao Zhan, who sat obediently on a chair while styling his hair.

The stylist stood on the right of Xiao Zhan; to the left of Xiao Zhan was a giant suitcase. After we tried to push the suitcase aside, I managed to stand in the gap. In such a tight space, I could only put the phone in front of Xiao Zhan, on top of the opened makeup case, for voice recording. After some more effort from everyone, there was finally space for the phone.

He was covered in a white hairdresser cape, his long legs enveloped by a pair of black pants – his thick black hair was being kept in order, his handsome side profile, relaxed and natural attitude, polite words, and after some close observation, no piercings on his ears.

How did this unguarded Xiao Zhan look like?

There was no need for exquisite words, just simple and pure wonderfulness.

If it remained unimaginable, it would not be too complex to imagine the warm smiles of the good looking youths on the streets of Beijing. All of these people could have been born in Beijing or traveled to Beijing from their hometowns.

“Chongqinger” Xiao Zhan said, “Beijing, in fact, besides my hometown Chongqing, is my longest lived in city. If we use 2020 to calculate, it would have been 5 years. Beijing, is a striving city, and like any other youths, Beijing means dreams and endeavors to us – this is a city of ambition. Hence, as Beijing TV’s Spring Night spokesperson, I feel that this special meaning, I’m very happy and very excited.”

Indeed, during the release conference in the afternoon, when being asked about how he felt spending his “Year of the Rat” Spring Night with Beijing TV, and expressing that by singing, Xiao Zhan, who was nicknamed “The Little Chinese Music Archive”, thought about it seriously and suddenly sang, “I’m beautiful, beautiful, beautiful……”

Haha, this quick wit and humor was almost as cute as “The Chipmunks”.

Spring Night is a big event, and it required absolute secrecy. We secretly asked Xiao Zhan about Beijing TV Spring Night from his personal point of view. Xiao Zhan continued to be witty, “I feel it’ll be exciting, at least I’ll be performing with a… senior that I really like.” When asked who it would be, Xiao Zhan smiled, “Let’s keep it a mystery, and we welcome everyone to watch Beijing TV Spring Night!”

This “Chongqinger”, who still could not confirm if he could return to his hometown for Chinese New Year, would sometimes show his inner thoughts – “If I could go back I definitely would”, but yet his words lingered on Beijing TV Spring Night.

Xiao Zhan, he actually loves Beijing so much.

He actually likes Zhou Xun so much

Who are the actors that Xiao Zhan admires the most? If he were to pick two, it would be Zhou Xun and Tony Leung.

Xiao Zhan said, “I really like Zhou Xun, her views, her experiences, are all mesmerizing to me. She has many performances that give me the urge to rush into the screen to rescue her. Her performances are very vivacious, it feels like you’re beside her experiencing her performances with her, my attention is all on her, she just has great charisma.”

Xiao Zhan emphasized that he liked Zhou Xun all along, and as we stood and studied his side profile, his face, we suddenly remembered a classic scene from “Palace of Desire”, where the young Princess Taiping removed Xue Shao’s mask.

That year, Zhou Xun was 26, Winston Chao was 40, but it did not prevent her from portraying a young girl’s infatuation. This drama was almost 20 years old, and the female audiences at that time would exclaim that Winston Chao was “as warm and gentle as jade, a gentleman who is peerless”. If this seemed familiar, this phrase was also used by many of Xiao Zhan’s fans to describe him.

Time, in the long river of ages, cycles endlessly Memories, in our past and present lives, crosses endlessly

– Lyrics from “Yu Nian”

This is the lyrics from Xiao Zhan’s song “Yu Nian”, which is the ending song for “Joy of Life”. Who knew that time cycles? Who knew that memories crosses paths?

As of now, Xiao Zhan is similar in age to Zhou Xun’s age then. If we could time travel and Xiao Zhan were to act as Xue Shao, could we guess the ending?

And since we are at this point, we could add another statement – “Traffic” / “Celebrity” / “Actor” – what difference do they make in the face of time? If there are no answers, why not listen to Xiao Zhan’s “Yu Nian”.

Time will tell, it is just that we are too impatient – regardless of our need for speed, we still ought to seek the truth.

He actually admires Vincent van Gogh so much

Xiao Zhan, like many of us, went through the tough period of studying overnight for university entry examinations. He became a student of Chongqing Business and Technology University, majoring in Design. However, this did not prevent Xiao Zhan from becoming a “Top 10 Inter-school Singer”, he self mockingly called himself a “literary enthusiast”, but in fact became one of the stars in many girls’ eyes – someone who was good looking, tall, stylish and could sing and take photographs. Immediately after he graduated, he became a designer, but he would still be brought up by his ex-teachers, one of whom recommended him to participate in “X-Fire”.

When reviewing “X-Fire”, you would realize that Xiao Zhan had a round face, an obedient expression and mild temperament – in fact, you would think that he did not pose much of a threat. But as one by one, the youths started getting eliminated, as their teams were getting regrouped, as they were getting more and more difficult tasks, it seemed as though Xiao Zhan was being sculpted on the spot – his face became more chiselled, he started slimming down, his eyes started having the steady gaze of ambition… Talent search variety shows are, in fact, cruel and all the participants were getting re-sculpted and remodeled – whatever that was removed was not the meant to be in the final product.

So what did Xiao Zhan keep in his heart? These were all the passwords to his past – drawing, design and art. Like anyone who learnt design, they all had an artist that they favored, and they were all different. Xiao Zhan’s answer – Vincent van Gogh.

Xiao Zhan said, “I was asked previously – if I could have a conversation with a past personality, who would it be? I would just choose Vincent van Gogh, because I want to listen to what he had experienced then, how he lived then, such that he was able to create such a beautiful world and paintings. Such as “Starry Night” or “Self Portrait”, I feel that he was able to step away from himself, into very amazing angles, and then create them.”

Those who learned design would usually be able to draw quite well, and usually beyond the levels of self taught hobbyists. Hence, these would also become part of his self cultivation.

Xiao Zhan confirmed this, “Yes, I think starting from aesthetic views to detailed observation, I feel that there were definitely influences.”

On whether Xiao Zhan still went to art exhibitions, the question seemed like a luxury to him – his eyes widened, he straightened himself, and he started smiling widely, “There is very little time now for art exhibitions, I would see them via friends who went and posted in their social media, or those art-related media accounts.”

There could be no burden I could sway my head I could stay my steps I could surrender to you

– Lyrics from “Two Tigers”

This is the promotion song from movie “Two Tigers” sung by Xiao Zhan. There was once in a variety show that he was requested to use his facial muscles to move a cookie on the side of his face into his mouth, while singing. Before the game started, Xiao Zhan pointed at the camera and laughed, “I really do have an idol’s image burden! I really do have an idol’s image burden!” However, after the game started, you see no sign of his “burden”, just 100% into moving his facial muscles, working hard to get to the cookie.

What is an idol’s image burden? Is there art in an idol’s image burden? There are no answers, but we can look for it in Xiao Zhan’s “Two Tigers”.

Art often gave the answers to philosophy. For example, an idol’s image burden could be thrown away, hence it is definitely not art; Art follows the heartbeat, follows life, just like the Vincent van Gogh, a man whose life bloomed and withered like the summer flowers, in the hearts of people like Xiao Zhan.

This phrase “A designer who can’t sing isn’t a good actor” seemed nonsensical, but if you think about it, it seemed to suit Xiao Zhan a lot.

He actually yearns the audiences’ recognition so much

It seemed like Xiao Zhan did gain fame after a single battle, but it was not just one battle – there were more raging battles before then.

The dancing spirit, wearing bright red and green clothes, in “Monster Hunt 2” – the camera panned past him without a HD shot; The minor role of a special agent in “The Rookies” – with some onscreen time less than a minute… And there were more, such as “Star Academy”, “Oh! My Emperor”, “Battle Through the Heaven”, “Shuttle Love Millennium”… Never heard of them? Eh, well this proved a problem – how could there be so many people who became “famous after a battle”?

What next? Xiao Zhan happily shared, “If everything goes well, there would be three roles coming to meet everyone, two period, one modern.”

Alright, the modern role would be Doctor Gu of “Oath of Love”. In fact, there were already naughty fans yelling that they were going to register for Doctor Gu’s hospital. Two period roles from “Douluo Continent” and “The Wolf”. Which do Xiao Zhan like the most? Xiao Zhan was unable to answer, “I feel like I like them all. Three different roles, three different pace!”

So, for the audiences who are already familiar with the two roles from “Joy of Life” and “The Untamed”, which are the ones that are closest to Xiao Zhan himself?

Xiao Zhan shook his head, “They weren’t quite similar to me.”

With regards to his roles, his works, let us get to some quick Q&A.

Q: After experiencing the life of the role, would that some what affect yourself? A: I feel that there are some influences to my usual personality.

Q: Would it make you mature faster? A: I feel that it makes my life richer, it means that I have experienced multiple different lives.

Q: What is your long term goal as an actor? A: If we are talking about long term goal, it is definitely being able to act in a drama that I love, and then gain audiences’ recognition for that. I feel that this is my ultimate term goal.

Q: Which role do you like? How do you live with your roles? A: I feel that there isn’t the most loved, I’m just someone who enjoys the moment. For example, when I’m in the current role, I will invest myself entirely into that role, and then I will cherish him and love him. But when I have to go to my next battle, I will put him down and let him go. And then, I will invest all of my passion for the next one.

He actually likes to smile so much

Observing Xiao Zhan up close and personal – his head narrow, his face small and firm, the folded long legs were especially straight and long. Xiao Zhan, is really thin.

When asked if he was at his thinnest, Xiao Zhan smiled, “No, I was the lightest during ‘The Untamed’, it was shot with ‘Joy of Life’, that was the period. I feel like I’ve regained more than what I’ve lost.”

Wei Wuxian in “The Untamed” liked to smile, all the time, everywhere; Yan Bingyun in “Joy of Life” was cold, all the time, as cold as ice. These two roles shot at the same time, just the emotions were already poles apart – the effort in switching in between them definitely exhausted a lot of brain cells.

When asked if he remembered his longest working day ever since his debut, Xiao Zhan looked down and smiled, then exclaimed at the same time with me, “A few days!”

Whether he could mentally sustain the current pace was not the main point – whether he could physically sustain was hotly debated. On this, Xiao Zhan replied especially fast, “I could adjust to it, really! I personally preferred a busier schedule, the feeling of being busy, makes me feel more fulfilling, and more sense of security.”

“Sense of security” – Xiao Zhan used this phrase, how did he understand it?

For example, Xiao Zhan said that there were instances of him in bad temper, and then he was asked if he would flip tables. Xiao Zhan was slightly taken aback, and answered with a smile, “I can see that you’ve never done design, a designer is a contractor working for his clients, if the clients have opinions, you need to communicate properly and slowly convince them…”

Everyone has a different understanding and adaptation when it comes to “bad temper”, a lot of it came from experience and self control of emotions – similarly, our understanding and adaptation of “sense of security” would be different as well, because everyone’s sense of responsibility and experiences would be different. For a youth to openly bring up “sense of security” and fight for that, we could only choose to give him our blessings. Because, in the blur of the mind, we could almost see ourselves in him.

Before I could give him my well wishes, Xiao Zhan gave the readers and audiences an especially down-to-earth and warm blessing, “I feel that more well wishes are repeated too often. I will simply wish everyone a smooth path ahead, and then peace and safety would be nice!”

Finally, we would emphasize one point – Xiao Zhan really likes to smile!

Moreover, Xiao Zhan’s smiles are varied – there is gentle, healing, mischievous, surprising, confident, hearty, shy, embarrassed… and every one of these smiles could be extended into a language of its own.

There is this saying about a child who likes to smile…

His luck will never be lacking.

[whatamidoingwithmylifeman]

MK OC Randomness part 5

listen... at this point, what are you expecting from me? Actual work? No.. Never. Now enjoy the content.

Megumi: Squiggles you son of a bitch! How are you still alive? I saw you go over that cliff! No one could've survived that fall

Squiggles: *hisses*

Megumi: You sly bastard, I would've never thought of that.

Tremor: I I I'm sorry, can she actually speak snake, or is she just messing with us?

Ayeka: Knowing her, it could very well be both

------

Kano: I want half

Klaudia: I'm sorry, what?

Kano: I did half the work, so I want half the code.

Klaudia: This isn't some material I can cut in half, Kano. It's a bunch of 1s and 0s, it's not the simple.

Kano: Then I want the 1s.

Klaudia: Fuck you, I want the 1s!

------

Melantha: Well, you did just kill somebody. Shouldn't you at least feel something?

Nozomi: Oh feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.

Melantha: What!?

------

Mr. Hasashi: Oh um, hello little girl. How did you get into our house?

Young Michiko: I I do not remember

Young Hanzo: Oh yeah! I'm sure that'll hold up with the Grandmaster!

------

Old LK GM: Look. Let's just cut right to the chase here Shen. What's it gonna take for you to say yes? Money, items, Michiko?

Michiko: Excuse me!?

Old LK GM: What? It's a compliment

Michiko: Wow, Grandmaster, I didn't think you knew any magic. But look at you, turning women into trophies.

------

Fuyuka: On an unrelated note, are you at all concerned about the delight your daughter seems to be taking in all this?

Little Illythia: Go for the eyes mama! That is their weak point!

Onaga: Not really. Why?

------

Charu: Just stay calm! You have everything you need to beat it.

Cacti: The power to believe in myself?

Charu: No, a knife! Stab it!

------

Sektor: What would you of told dad of I died!

Michiko: Hey father, I got some good news and some bad news.

Michiko: The good news is we finally got room for that operation room you wanted.~

------

Shariah: *gets stabbed* HRKK! *Through gritted teeth* This is the greatest day of my life.

Shao Kahn: Do you mind!? I am trying to kill you!

------

Shao Kahn: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manor!

Nozomi: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

------

Kronika: How did you know we were lying?

Fuyuka: Oh that's simple. I'm not an idiot.

Geras from the magma mold he's being held in: Yep, that'll do it.

------

Klaudia: Ok, sweetie, I'm gonna let you in a little known secret of comedy.

Klaudia: Bad things, aren't funny when they happen to mommy.

Little Ash: What about daddy?

Klaudia: Oh daddy's fair game. Go for the throat.

------

Ryder: Look. Do you wanna keep giving me shit? Or do you wanna figure a way out of here?

Red: Oh don't think I can't do both. I am quiet the multitasker!

------

Klaudia over the phone: Bust his kneecaps, then he'll talk. I gotta go, I'm in a meeting.

Klaudia: *hangs up the phone* So you said Ash was into finger painting? That's adorable.

------

Melantha: Nozomi wake up!

Nozomi: Five more minutes.

Melantha: You've been in a coma for two years!

Nozomi: Ok? Two more minutes.

------

Krow: Would you rather, kill Gae or-

Shinnok: Yes kill him!

Krow: I didn't say the other-

Shinnok: I don't need to hear it.

Gae: I'm feeling a little unsafe.

------

Kristy: It's like you're giving me the cold shoulder.

Kabal: Ok? You me to just heat it up for you?

------

Symphonia: Now you sing!

Someone random: HOW BOUT YOU SING? IT'S WHAT I PAYED YOU FOR!

Symphonia: *taking the microphone back* Alright tough crowd

------

Mavado: *Blows Kristy a kiss*

Kristy: *catches it then flushes it down the toilet*

------

Reiko: *Blows Nozomi a kiss*

Nozomi: *catches it then puts it in a blender*

------

Kamden: Drive!

Kristy: Why?

Kamden: I just robbed the bank! Drive!

Kristy: You what!?

Kamden: *holding up a pen* I took their pen from the front desk! Drive!

------

Reptile: Wanna go out?

Nyx: Oh sure! *starts leaving*

Reptile: Where are you going?

Nyx: Out! Farther away from you the better!

------

Some random dude to Satoru: Hey I like you. Let's go out sometime

Satoru, pulling out an adoption paper: Sign this for me will you?

Random dude: Uh. What is this?

Satoru: It's an adoption paper. I'm going to adopt you so you can never ask me that again

Random dude: You could've said no!

Satoru: *vaguely gesturing to his Ace ring and Aro hoodie* You could've read the signs!

------

Megumi: There's blood on your pants.

Terra: Don't call the cops alright?!

Megumi: Here's a tampon- wait what!?

Terra: Right! My period! I didn't kill anyone!

------

Tremor: What kind of spider is that?

Ayeka: I think it's a daddy long leg.

Tremor: Ok it's a good looking spider, but I wouldn't call it daddy.

Ayeka: Wait, what!?

------

Little Satoru: I have a gift for you Uncle Shi. *hands over a muffin*

Sektor: *smacks it away* I'm not stupid you piece of garbage!

Little Satoru: What?

Sektor: If you want me dead, let's fight right now!

@feistyfandomthings

@deepinthefog

@doodlewagonbug

@yuvononik

@yuvon

@toomanyf4ndoms7

@maddenedroses

@dontunderestimatemypoison

[shypotato-translations]

QTVW Chapter 24

Showbiz* Sexy Queen (XI)

----

After Mei Mu Lan hung up the phone, she opened the webpage and searched for the novel 《Love in a Fallen City》.

As mentioned in the plot, Bai Jieying, a newcomer to the industry, became a sensation after appearing in this controversial film.

And just now Miss S called, informing her to go to Ling's Group tomorrow, the entertainment company's drama team for an audition.

This coincided with her intentions, so she opened the pages of the novel now, and carefully read through, the subject of the novel is lesbianism, 《Love in a Fallen City》.

Love in a Fallen City, a novel set in the early Republic of China; The story takes place in Hangzhou, an ancient water town; The protagonist of the story is the wife of the second son of the local warlord Xiao Sheng Yan.

The wife of the Major, who was a second generation warlord along with her husband, was of noble birth. She is the ninth daughter of Ling Ye Chong, the warlord of the southwest region, and the only legitimate daughter among Ling Ye Chong's 18 daughters. A much higher status than her other sisters.

Although the two Xiao Ling families were married out of interest, the newlyweds were a good match for each other.

And the her husband who is a Major, the second son of Xiao Shi Yan, was a dashing and suave-looking man who fought heroically and was, by all accounts, a wonderful man.

But naturally, such a man has a downside: he is lustful and likes to abuse his partner.

This hobby of Xiao Er Shao's was harmless to the society of the time.

And when he was confronted with the wife of the famous Major, he could not lay hands on her out of love and reason.

Therefore, he left the lady cold and spent many years in the company of playboys and prostitutes, which made her cold to him.

The story opens with the lady sitting on a carved wooden stool, wearing a goose-yellow antique dress and a wooden face as she allows her maid to do her make-up.

Listening to the maid's report of Xiao Er Shao's whereabouts in her ears, like,

“The young master has gone drinking again today,”

“The young master has played with his hands again today,”

“The young master is throwing his money away again today for a 'thing',”……

The lady looked at her reflection in the bronze mirror, the flowery beauty in it, but now her heart was as dry as a half-hundred-year-old woman's.

A young girl, as young as a flower, is tortured by this feudal society and has lost her vitality.

And it was on such early mornings as these for three years that the maid mentioned a woman, a beauty much loved by her own husband, a singing opera singer of unclean origins.

She smiled softly as she listened to the hilarity and said,

“The right way to be a wife is not to be jealous or afraid. I don't blame my husband for being sentimental, he's at that age, he loves to play, so let him go, it's just a thing. If he likes it, he can take it into his house and no one can say a word against it. All right, it's almost time to go and pay my respects to the old lady, let's go.”

The 'thing' that the lady refers to is the other female lead in the story, the lover with whom the lady is entangled for life.

The story shifts perspective to a woman in a large red costume behind a noisy theater stage in the downtown area, now holding a black ink pencil and tracing narrow eyeliner for herself.

The troupe master beside her also muttered to her about this young man who had been so generous recently.

She listened unconcernedly, her hands flowing with makeup, and when she heard the troupe master mention the man's wife, the woman finally felt a little different emotion.

She smiled lightly and said,

“The woman in such a deep house is most uninteresting. From what you are saying, this Major's wife is not a small person. But even if she is the daughter of the Emperor, she is nothing more than a plaything for men to hold in their hands. We are both women, but one is a high-class prostitute and the other a slightly lower class.

I hope this young lady will not be like those ladies before her who could not control their own men and went after men's women, which is really annoying.”

Two women responding very differently to the same incident.

One is as cool as an immortal, the other is as feminine as a demon.

It left a little mark on each other's hearts, so much so that when they first met later, they couldn't help but feel close to each other.

The lady relieves the theater's chastising punishment for the ladies, and the theater's son settles the city's ruffians for the lady; two seemingly worlds apart, and so they cross paths.

One is the wife of a noble and noble family Major, and the other is a lowly opera singer who is trampled on by others. They experience the sweetness of meeting, knowing, companioning, cherishing and loving each other, and the pain of clinging, thinking, remembering and wanting to say goodbye.

Because of the difference in their status, they could only see each other a few times a year, and the rest of the time they were in brocade, but this forbidden love affair brought both of them to life.

The lady refuses to share her bed with Xiao Er Shao for this reason, and is treated coldly by her husband's family, making her life worse every day.

The opera singer refused to share a bed with a wealthy guest for this reason and was tortured by the troupe, in a state of wretchedness worse than death.

Finally, the women decide that they will do something shocking, and that is to elope together and settle down to farm in the opera singer's hometown.

They looked forward to a bright future with each other and each escaped their shackles one winter's day, but the very moment they escaped to embrace each other, both parties sent someone after them.

Xiao Er Shao's face turned blue when he saw the two embracing each other.

How could he let them go when one was his legitimate wife and the other was a opera singer whom he truly loved and now, they were together, making him the laughing stock of everyone?!

He ordered the underlings of the Xiao Family, and took the lady back by force, while the opera singer was beaten alive with sticks by the underlings.

Blood stained the clean white snow, splattered out like cold winter plums, falling and falling, bodies left unmanaged and finally bones.

When the lady learned of this incident, she went mad, but begged for death and was severely tortured by Xiao Er Shao.

She spent every day and night alone in a cold, crumbling house, begging for her life and unable to die.

Until she met the opera singer in red, pale and with crimson lips, a month later on a bloody night, when she winked at her and babbled and sang a soft song under her breath.

Towards the end of the song, her flirtatious phoenix eyes, moist with moisture, stared at her as she said to her,

“Cease to be like this and live.”

The Major's wife began to regain her senses, and because she herself was of noble birth, the people of the Xiao Family couldn't just club her to death like they did with the opera singer, but had to go out of their way to cover up and pretend that the incident had never happened.

The Major's wife, a woman from the deep house of yore, but different again from before, has an additional female ghost in red in her room.

When no one is around, they will snuggle, they will compose songs together, they will be in love.

Doing all the things that lovers everywhere, would do.

Until Xiao suffered defeat, all Xiao's men died in battle, the revolutionary army defeated the warlords and stragglers broke into Xiao's residence.

The ladies live in a trance, rejecting the reality of the Xiao House's decay, while the servants carry their bags and scurry around for their lives.

Once again the Lady sat in front of the mirror, an unseen hand, holding a brush, tracing gently over her pale face.

From top to bottom, the inky eyebrows, the slightly powdered blush and the sweet red lips are a living example of a pretty girl from back in the day.

The lady smiled lightly and changed into a red dress, and the house burned naturally with no one in the second young lady's room in the Xiao residence.

Under the bright flames, a beautiful woman in red can be clearly seen, wrapping her arms around a woman in a long goose yellow dress, slowly swaying and dancing, embracing each other intimately and kissing deeply.

The story ends with excerpts from the novel. Written is:

From a family dinner in spring, one plays out life and death on stage, while the other dresses up as a virtuous wife offstage.

By the cold night of the ninth month, one was intercepted by a domestic servant inside the fence and the other was brutally beaten to death outside the fence.

In the old theater, a woman's watery sleeves danced and her feet moved; a woman's mouth smiled and her feelings were deep. To look at each other is to have no regrets about true love.

Mei Mu Lan's eyes were dazed, emotionally trapped in the story, unable to pull out of it for several days.

She closed the webpage and lay back** with her eyes closed, a story like this, it did hit home, Miss S's writing was excellent, she really wrote this story from an outsider's point of view.

In her writing, each person is portrayed vividly, and a scene of the Republic leaps into the reader's mind.

She doesn't stand up for the state and try to put a sacred veil on this fringe romance; she simply depicts a story that feels like an event that actually happened in the Republic.

In the midst of the Republic, when times were up and down and in turmoil**, everything changed, but only the relationship between the lady and the opera singer remained the same.

They experience great sorrow, great joy, great ups and downs, and every chapter of the story depicts the cold reality.

But, near the end, she recounts the transformation of the opera singer into a ghost, and the novel after this describes the happy life between them.

But, unfortunately, everyone else in the story, and the readers outside of it, all know that the opera singer may be a figment of the Lady's imagination after she has gone mad.

But, it is this plausible description, punctuated by joy against sorrow, that gives the story an unconventional and sublime ending.

The happiness visible in the story, at the end when the two are buried in the fire, the reader's heart unconsciously breathes a sigh of relief for the Lady, thinking: at last it is over, at least the Lady thinks they are living together.

The opera singer at the end paints the lady's make-up and she smiles in the light of the fire, sharing a poignant ending.

A lady in a large courtyard, deprived of the freedom of her body and firmly imprisoned by feudal society; a lowly opera singer in the marketplace, deprived of the freedom of her mind and oppressed by those around her every day.

These are two ordinary women who lived in that particular era, representing two classes.

The women under such oppression fall in love and their lives are rejuvenated, giving rise to the most sincere love, but this emotion meets with social barriers and ends up as a tragedy rather than joy, leaving the reader with a shocking and sorrowful ending.

Mei Mu Lan took a few deep breaths to ease her mind and she began to think calmly.

The novel is about to be turned into a far-reaching film, and in the plot of the novel, it is mentioned that Bai Jieying ends up as the lady in the 《Love in a Fallen City》, while Ling Yi Yao becomes the opera singer in it.

And now, with her ambition for the film, then, after considering her own strengths, she chose to go for the role of the opera singer.

And the next morning, she went to the place where Miss S had agreed.

By the time she arrived on set, the crew had already begun auditions and she was greeted, taken straight to Miss S and then dragged off to have her make-up applied.

This was followed by an ethnic opera which she sang in front of many invested parties.

Her fluent singing voice, vivid expressions and agile figure overwhelmed everyone in the audience in a flash. And she was successfully selected to be an acting actress within the cast of the play.

Mui Mu Lan had been made to look like a fool today by Miss S. By the time she got back to her senses, she heard the news that she had been selected and she grinned broadly with excitement.

After verbally thanking Miss S, she immediately returned to Jiangnan Town, where she knocked on the door and walked into Ling Yi Yao's villa to tell Ling Yi Yao the good news that she had been chosen as an opera singer.

After hearing this, Ling Yi Yao had a strange expression on her face, and under Mei Mu Lan's persistent questioning, she replied,

“Congratulations, Miss Mei, at the same time. Your co-star in this film, unfortunately, is me.”

Mei Mu Lan understood the meaning of her words and immediately jumped up and said,

“Great, you're playing the role of the Major's wife, aren't you? The casting people had a good eye, they could tell right away that we were a couple.”

Ling Yi Yao: “……”

Suddenly, Mei Mu Lan covered her mouth in shyness as she stared at Ling Yi Yao, her eyes cooing and darting about.

Ling Yi Yao suddenly felt a chill run down her spine, and she had an ominous feeling.

Sure enough, Mei Mu Lan said 'shyly' in the next moment,

“Oh, it's written that they did this and that, and the opera singer did this and that to the lady, so I can do that to you too, come on, don't be shy, let's rehearse this and that so we don't get rusty when we're acting.”

Ling Yi Yao: “……” Lifting Mei Mu Lan's collar with one hand, she threw her out the door.

[shijiujun]

[ENG] History3: Trapped Novel - Epilogue One: “And After, Tang Yi & Shao Fei”

~3,700 words

Translation Masterpost can be found here

Disclaimer: Translations are entirely mine and Wei’s - these are not official translations and some phrases have been changed for better English interpretation so you’ll definitely see better/different translations elsewhere. Also keeping in mind when we translated this we aren’t exactly thinking about the style of writing and this translation is as close to the novel as we can make it XD So yes, some parts may be a little awkward to read. And yes some teeny weeny details and words may not turn up in the translation because the Chi to Eng mind acrobatics didn’t work out. If you see asterisks, scroll all the way to the bottom for notes!

Epilogue One: “And After, Tang Yi & Shao Fei”

N Years Later, Shi Hao Corporation’s Building

A secretary, wearing high heels and dressed in a sharp blazer and pencil skirt ensemble, holds onto a freshly printed contract for a construction project and walks into the meeting room. 

She bends slightly, standing next to the CEO and says softly, “Boss, this is the second version of the contract, if I could trouble you to check it over?” 

“Nnn, just leave it here and I’ll have a look at it later. And also, make an appointment with Boss Chen for tomorrow evening at 7pm later, at…”

The man, clad in a sleek suit, simultaneously gives his secretary her tasks while listening to each department manager reporting on their respective progress. Suddenly, from the man’s jacket pocket comes the sound of a phone’s vibrations, and all the subordinates seated nearer to him all gesture to the other people in the room with their gazes and mouths after realising what is going on. At that, even the department manager currently giving his presentation ceases to speak, as he points the controller at the screen projector to pause his timed presentation.

“Ex-boss, Captain Meng has gotten injured, and he’s already been sent to Dr Jiang’s private hospital.”

“Nnn.”

The man immediately stands from his seat after ending the call and straightens out the wrinkles in his shirt before walking out of the silent meeting room with an upset expression on his face. Only when the CEO has entirely disappeared from their line of vision does everyone exhale nervously, as if a ban has just been lifted with the man’s departure.

“Whew…. Let the boys know to go over to Dr Jiang’s hospital and stay there, don’t let Boss or Captain Meng run into any more problems.”

After so many years of working on reforming Xing Tian Meng, the Xing Tian Meng that existed in the underworld no longer exists, and while it is entirely unavoidable that they still have some influence there, major departments in the company have actively tried not to step into the dealings of the underworld again.

“Should we call CEO Zuo to come back and take over?” 

The department manager who was interrupted and forced to pause halfway through his presentation directs the question at the people seated nearest to him, looking at the projector.

“You fucking-”

Used to using these profanities to start any sentence, the man who just spoke automatically trails off. He glares at the department manager instead. 

Coughing awkwardly, he says, “Do you want to die? Even if CEO Zuo said yes, Brother Dao Yi will never agree to it.”

Everyone else nods fervently.

That’s right, CEO Zuo and Brother Dao Yi finally got pregnant after much difficulty three years after they got married, and seeing as she was expected to be due in a few days, who would dare to ask CEO Zuo to come back to the office to handle work at this point? The Boss getting angry was one thing, but first they would have to go through Brother Dao Yi.

Geez! Just thinking about it makes everyone shiver and break out in cold sweat.

“Forget it, let’s settle the items that do not need the Boss’ final decision first, and the rest, we’ll wait for the boss to come back.”

“You’re right.”

Everyone present in the room is at the managerial level, so they immediately come up with a replacement for today’s agenda and continue with Shi Hai Corporation’s scheduled meeting while waiting for the boss, even if they don’t know when he’ll actually come back.

Hospital

“Fuck! Meng Shao Fei do you think that I’m that free every day? Didn’t I warn you not to rush to the frontlines and take on everything by yourself first every time you run into a problem? I still have two surgeries to scrub in on today, and in the end? I have to be here to wrap up your wounds for you. God, my life is so tough. This can obviously be passed on to a nurse to deal with but because of someone’s orders, I have to repeatedly revise my Year One course in basic nursing.”

Dr Jiang glares at the Captain who was personally escorted to his hospital just for a small 10cm wound, made by a perp with a knife.

“Hehe, thank you!” laughs Shao Fei breathily with his mouth wide, as he sits on the hospital bed and enjoys the special treatment that the hospital usually affords only their top VIPs.

That year, Captain Shi was thoroughly investigated by prosecutors due to his involvement with illicit drug smuggling and the double homicide case, which ended with him leaving the police force for good. And that very night that Captain Shi took the congratulatory pastries from Shao Fei from his daughter’s wedding, he left Shao Fei with one thing.

“Shao Fei, I’ll leave Team 3 in your hands.”

In the beginning, he didn’t understand what Captain Shi meant, until the new staff shuffle orders came from Human Resources, and that’s when he found out that Chief, while making his confession to his superiors, also offered a suggestion to their commanding officer.

“If you guys are looking for someone to take over my position and continue to lead Team 3, I recommend Meng Shao Fei to take on the position of Captain.”

Just like that, after a period of training and assessments, he is now sitting in Chief’s previous position. Before, the sound of Chief yelling was the thing Team 3 heard the most often; now, the responsibility of teaching the rookies has fallen on Shao Fei’s head.

“Meng. Shao. Fei!”

A cold voice echoes, and each word stabs right at Shao Fei’s ears as the door to the hospital room slides open.

The man whose name was called immediately freezes, and with wide eyes, Shao Fei looks at Tang Yi approaching him, not daring to move in the slightest.

“You’re finally here,” Dr Jiang side eyes the man who he expects would be here, and his voice dripping with sarcasm, he comments lightly, “Tang Yi, your darling baby’s wound has been given stitches and is all wrapped up properly. Hurry bring him home and discipline him, and stop wasting my gauze and antiseptic solution! He’s also taking up my VIP ward!”

Once he is done speaking, Dr Jiang pats at his robes with his hands and leaves the ward with the emergency first aid kit with him.

Tang Yi walks over to the side of the bed. Gently picking up Shao Fei’s bandaged left arm and hand, he asks with furrowed brows, “What happened this time?”

“How would I have known that the perp had a second knife on him? A moment of carelessness… and… this happened.”

Shao Fei swallows hard, and decides to omit the part where the knife came really close to his arterial vein on his neck, lest his ‘punishment’ becomes more severe.

Suddenly, Tang Yi takes out a metal pen from his chest pocket, plucking off the pen’s cover and viciously scratches himself on the arm, in the same spot as Shao Fei’s wound.

“What are you doing?!” Shao Fei yells angrily, and snatches Tang Yi’s weapon in hand away.

“Does your heart hurt?”

“Nonsense!”

Shao Fei grits his teeth and reaches out for the call button to get Dr Jiang who just left the room to come back. Just as he’s about to do so, Tang Yi firmly locks his hand around Shao Fei’s wrist to stop his movements.

“How much does it hurt?”

“It hurts a lot! You better fucking let go of me, I’m going to find Dr. Jiang-”

Tang Yi suddenly moves to cradle Shao Fei’s face with his hands, and kisses Shao Fei, who is in the midst of yelling at him.

Shao Fei has gotten used to intimacy with Tang Yi and out of habit, simply returns the kiss passionately, until rationality returns to him. Only then does Shao Fei push at Tang Yi, who’s kissing him so deeply. Idly, he chides himself for letting his mind wander off to other things right at this moment.

“Have you cooled down?”

“Not possible,” Shao Fei says as he picks up some tissue from the side and presses on the wound Tang Yi made on his left arm, treating the cut in the crudest way possible.

“Meng Shao Fei, since you can’t protect yourself well and not make me worry, then on the same spot where you get injured, I will injure myself as well. If you don’t want to see me continue hurting myself, then please restrain yourself, and protect yourself well. Your body is no longer just yours, because it’s an extension of me, and likewise, our bodies now belong to each other.”

“I’m sorry…. Tang Yi, I’m sorry…,” Shao Fei says guiltily, his mouth pressed next to Tang Yi’s ear and hugging the man before him tight.

“We’re finally together after so much hardship, I really don’t want to lose you.”

“I know…”

“So tonight, forget about sleeping.”

“Huh?”

The sudden switch in Tang Yi’s mood stuns Shao Fei, who was feeling so guilty a second ago. Now, all he can do is make weird noises, his mouth wide open.

“Alright, I’ve got to head back to the office and deal with work.”

Certain now that Shao Fei does not have any life-threatening injuries, Tang Yi kisses Shao Fei softly on the forehead and leaves the VIP-only ward with a smile.

“What a cunning strategist.”

Dr Jiang is leaning against the wall outside of the room, waiting for Tang Yi as he the man walks out of the ward.

Tang Yi looks at him out of the corners of his eyes, and laughs wryly, “Likewise. I cannot compare to Dr Jiang who took advantage of Xiao Shu Gong’s compassionate heart and conned his way into his affections by acting all innocent and pitiful.”*

“Tang Yi, are you happy right now?”

“Very.”

“Then that’s all good.”

With that, Dr Jiang, who still has two surgeries scheduled for the day, immediately turns around and coolly waves, his back faced towards this good friend who he has known for so many years now.

Next to a road

“Ex-boss, Captain Meng has gotten injured, and he’s already been sent to Dr Jiang’s private hospital.”

After sending ‘intel’ back to Tang Yi, Jack keeps his phone in his jacket’s pocket and continues to appreciate his little, hot-blooded police officer (boyfriend).

“You! And you! Bring him back and proceed with getting his statement, and remember to apply for an arrest warrant with the prosecutor's office.”

“Yes!”

Zhao Zi is standing downstairs and very naturally commanding the other team members to finish their job here.

A young police officer, who was transferred over to Team 3 just half a month ago, asks with concen apparent over his face, “Will Captain be okay?”

“Don’t worry! That shady doctor is very good at his job, ah-”

Realizing what he just said, Zhao Zi quickly covers his mouth. Looking around sheepishly and only after making sure that no one within earshot would expose him to said shady doctor does Zhao Zi put down his hands.

He pats at the young officer’s shoulder and says, “Someone else will take care of anything that happens to Ah Fei. All we have to do is finish up here.”

“Okay, Zhao Zi Ge.”***

The young officer bows to Zhao Zi respectfully, then jogs over to a nearby store to request to look at their surveillance footage.

“Hehe, he called me ‘Ge’!” 

Now that he’s finally been promoted from ‘Zhao Zi’ to ‘Zhao Zi Ge’, Zhao Zi scratches at the back of his head with a really happy grin, but suddenly, he hears his stomach growl. He bends his head to look at his abdomen.

“Ah! It’s 6pm!”

His body alarm is even more precise than a clock as his stomach sounds at exactly 6pm to remind him to eat. Just as he’s looking around him to find a restaurant, he hears a familiar trumpet sound from behind him on the left, and a loud voice calling his name.

“Shorty! Here, over here!”

“Jack?”

Zhao Zi turns on his left and immediately discovers the huge food truck parked next to the road, and on the truck’s signage, today’s menu is written - Fried beef noodles, Beef Hor Fun, Beef Mui Fan, Beef Fried Rice, and Beef Noodles.

“Wow-”

Zhao Zi’s attention is captured by all the delicious food. He swallows and walks to the truck, and with bright eyes, he looks at Jack, who has since left his life as a mercenary behind since his days at Xing Tian Meng, with something akin to worship.

“How did you know that I wanted to eat all these?”

“I’m your personal chef, of course I know what you’re thinking.”

Jack, who has now become ‘Fang Liang Dian’, has finally returned to life as a common, normal man. Although his Swiss bank account has enough savings to let him spend over three lifetimes, he finds that a too-relaxed life is not suitable for him, and so he has now become Zhao Zi’s house-husband. Aside from being responsible for the shorty’s meals after he returns home, he also bought a food truck, and everyday all he does is chase after his little police officer across the whole of Taiwan on this truck so that he can provide Zhao Zi with piping hot delicious food at any time.

“Wow, I want a bowl of fried beef noodles, a beef hor fun, and another beef fried rice!”****

“No problem.”

A police car suddenly approaches the truck, and Lu Jun Wei pokes his head out of the window inquisitively, then orders unceremoniously.

“You’re here again? Just in time, I was getting hungry too, can I have a plate of beef mui fan please?”

“Of course, I’ll have to take 1000 NTD from the customer,” Jack says with a smile to this unwelcome guest who interrupted the conversation between him and his shorty.*****

“What?! 1000NTD? Are you fucking scamming me?”

Jack looks at him with disdain, and shakes his head at Jun Wei, “If I told you, that these dishes were made with Japan’s A5 Wagyu Beef, will you still say that I’m scamming you?”

“.....”

A, A5 Wagyu beef?! Just a few small cubes would cost up to 2000 or 3000 NTD, and he’s actually using this beef so luxuriously in a dish of fried noodles? Fried rice? Fried hor fun? And even beef noodles?

“You’ll be punished by the gods,” Jun Wei says, but still takes out two 1000 NTD notes from his wallet, “I’ll still like to have a beef hor fun and a bowl of beef noodles.”

Even though he feels sorry towards his wallet which just became full with his salary being credited for the month, towards this accessible price, if he doesn’t eat, he will let himself down.

“No problem at all, I’ll help the customer prepare his order, but the shorty gets priority, always.”

“Yes… I totally understand…”

This isn’t the first day Jun Wei is meeting Jack, how could he not know that this man’s principle of putting his Zhao Zi first?

Zhao Zi touches his ear and with a bit of embarrassment, says, “Jun Wei, sorry about this. I was here a few minutes earlier than you, that’s why.”

Jun Wei rolls his eyes at his junior who’s always this slow on the uptake, and cannot be bothered to explain to Zhao Zi why exactly his turn is behind Zhao Zi’s.

In the delivery room

“Gu, Dao, Yi,” Hong Ye, who’s currently lying on the operating table getting ready to deliver, yells angrily as she holds onto Dao Yi’s hand.

“Don’t get angry, don’t get angry. Remember you have to breathe later, breathe in, and breathe out… That’s right, breathe in, breathe out… Very good. Miss, you’re doing very well.”

“Didn’t I tell you that you’re not allowed to call me ‘miss’ anymore? Damn it! Where did that doctor go?”

“I’m sorry, don’t get so worked up der. Dr Jiang has already assigned his junior from the maternity center to be in charge of your delivery, so don’t worry. After all, Dr Jiang does not specialise in this.”

“Junior?! Can that doctor’s junior be trusted? Ah…. I’m in so much pain…”

“Don’t worry dear, Dr Wu’s reputation precedes him in this field, just leave yourself and the baby in his hands!”

“Gu Dao Yi I’m telling you first, I’m definitely not having a second one!”

Damn it, if it wasn’t because of how much she loved this man, Hong Ye would never have insisted on having their own baby, destroying her figure and taking on the risks of pregnancy and then giving birth to the child. 

“Okay okay, we won’t, we won’t, our hands will be full with one child anyway.”

“Ah…. ouch-”

A few hours later, Hong Ye successfully gave birth to a cute daughter, and the new mom who has used up all her strength during delivery is wheeled into a single ward to rest.

A week later, the new baby’s uncles can finally visit at the newborn’s nursery in the hospital and are queuing up outside along the corridor, waiting for the curtains to be pulled open in five minutes. 

After the curtains are pulled back, Shao Fei is the first one rushing to the windows with Hong Ye’s ward number, and inside, a nurse swiftly finds the baby among all the other babies in the room, bringing her to the window. 

Shao Fei looks excitedly at the little baby, and says, “Wow, how adorable, Tang Yi look, next time the little princess will call you Uncle!”

“Don’t worry! I’ll teach her to first call you ‘aunt’!”

Tang Yi looks at his lover and smirks, and Shao Fei returns his remark with an eyeroll.

“Tch!”

Jack moves over to Dao Yi’s side, smiles and nods, “Dao Yi Ge, you’ve worked hard.”

Ever since Hong Ye’s pregnancy began, her temper became worser than before, and even Tang Yi who dotes on her the most was angered so much a few times, to the point where he just walked away, simmering with fury. Shao Fei usually argues with Hong Ye every meal on a normal day, not to mention during the period when she was pregnant. Only Dao Yi, who’s so well tempered, can handle his wife’s notorious temper, facing it with a smile from day one.

“Miss- Hong Ye worked even harder,” Dao Yi smiles.

Even though they’ve been married for a few years, old habits are really hard to change and he often calls her ‘Miss’, which resulted in Hong Ye leaving the house in anger, because she really hates that.

These nine months they really troubled the gelato ice-cream store’s boss. Usually, the boss changes the flavours available rather often, but to soothe his Hong Ye, Dao Yi asked him to always have the mint chocolate and mango sorbet flavours in store, just waiting for Hong Ye to visit. It also helped Dao Yi to know exactly where he could pick up Hong Ye from whenever she left the house angry.

Jack’s lips curve as he walks towards Zhao Zi, who’s pressed against the window glass entertaining the little princess. Sliding his arm around Zhao Zi’s waist, he asks, “You like children so much?”

“Of course I do! Babies are so adorable, who wouldn’t like them?”

“I don’t. They’re noisy, a nuisance, and they don’t understand human speech.”

The most important thing is, he can’t even lock the baby up in a cage like he would a pet, because he would be charged with abusing a child.

Zhao Zi looks so wistful then, and says, “So you don’t like children? And here I was thinking during Lunar New Year we’ll spring clean and take out my childhood photos for you to see. In this case, forget it then!”

“Wait! You said… whose childhood pictures?”

“Me! If not, who else?”

The moment he hears that it’s Zhao Zi’s photos, he demands, “I want to see!”

“Didn’t you say you dislike kids? They’re noisy, a nuisance, and don’t understand human speech? I think we should just forget it, what if you see me when I was younger, and then end up disliking me now?”

“Impossible,” retorts Jack immediately.

“But what if?”

“As long as it’s you, the younger you, or the older you… I like them all.”

Zhao Zi feels his cheeks heat then, and turns to look at Shao Fei, who’s laughing at him from the side.

“You, you, be quiet! You’re going to bother the little princess.”

“I don’t care, take out all the photos and give them to me. Everything of yours, they’re mine.”

“Okay!”

Once Jack sees Zhao Zi agree, his face all red, Jack’s expression morphs into that of a smile, and then he also bends forward to look at the fidgeting little baby on the other side of the glass.

“Hey, shorty.”

“What?”

“You really like children that much?”

Zhao Zi looks at his lover, and teases, “Didn’t you just ask me that?”

“Then…” Jack deliberately trails on, looking at the shorty’s face from the side, and very naughtily continues, “Shall we give birth to one then?”

“...”

Zhao Zi stares with wide eyes, turning to glare at Jack.

“No, one is not enough, you have to give me two. They better both be daughters, and they should look like me. When they grow up they’re guaranteed to be beauties,” Jack begins to fantasize about his future daughters.

He’s very proud and confident about his own looks.

“Fang, Liang, Dian!” Zhao Zi says through gritted teeth, syllable by syllable.

“Hnn?”

“Giving birth? Fucking hell, I’m a man! Go and die!”******

Zhao Zi lifts his leg and takes aim at one of Jack’s legs, but the man easily dodges the kick. With one person kicking and the other one dodging, in the end the both of them make so much noise that the head nurse ends up kicking them both out of the floor that holds the nursery room.

===

Notes:

*”The artefact which has just been unearthed” - This is from the last episode, where Dr Jiang basically calls Tang Yi an antique which has never seen the light - In Chinese it works as a ‘name’ to call Tang Yi, but when translated there’s no way to translate it correctly without it sounding dumb lmao! The closest would be Dr Jiang going ‘hey you antique’ but that’s not exactly what the words mean, so I went with Tang Yi instead of “the artefact”

**Xiao Shu Gong is one of the characters from History2: Right of Wrong, Shi Yi Jie’s friend who seems to be an archaeologist as well, and he’s paired with Dr Jiang canonically in Trapped.

***Ge means ‘Brother’

****LMAO ZHAO ZI HOW MUCH CAN U EAT IN ONE SITTING?!

*****1000NTD is about 32USD

******I think I spoke to @florbexter on this when I first gave my very messy synopsis/summary on the chapter like... a gazillion months ago, and hmm yeah I ain’t too fond of this trope tbh. Read at your own risk and also this author is really NOT known for good writing. if you enjoy it great tho! if not don’t worry, and don’t think too much about it because... yeah this author and some details of the epilogue, not so great. We win some, we lose some, unfortunately.

[lynne-monstr]

Writers Month Day 9: Illness (tka, yuhuang)

requested by @saxifactumterritum (Huang Shaotian loses his voice)

.

Yu Wenzhou watches as Xu Jingxi’s paladin falls, struck down by a Formless Phantom Blade. From his vantage point, he can see the monitor fill with speech bubbles before the silver Glory logo even has a chance to appear.

He hides a smile behind his hand, not wanting the team to see his amusement as he reads some of the more colorful taunts. It’s the usual trash talk, everything from the color of Xu Jingxi’s t-shirt to his breakfast choices to the healing spells that weren’t enough to save him.

With a curse, Xu Jingxi removes his headset and glares at where Huang Shaotian is playing, silent for once.

The three-on-three training match doesn’t last much longer. They all review the match and Yu Wenzhou makes sure to smile at each of his team members to take the sting out of his criticisms. By the time it’s over, everyone is smiling.

Well, nearly everyone.

“Good practice, everyone.” Setting down his pointer, Yu Wenzhou calls an end to the day’s training. “You all know what you need to work on. Get some rest and we’ll do it again tomorrow.”

A chorus of “Yes, Captain,” rings out across the room, followed by the sounds of headphones and keyboards and account cards being packed away.

Yu Wenzhou surveys the room, a thread of concern slipping through the satisfaction of a job well done. Practice was quieter than usual and everyone knows why. Their ace player is recovering from a nasty illness and lost his voice. This is their first practice since it happened.

“It feels like a dream,” Song Xiao comments as he leaves. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to hear myself think.” It’s nothing more than a friendly jest, and he smiles at Huang Shaotian as he says it, passing over some throat lozenges from the time he was sick a couple weeks ago.

Huang Shaotian takes the small packet and whacks him on the shoulder with it. He goes to say something but all that comes out is a harsh wheeze. Song Xiao puts his hands up and backs away, bright and laughing.

“What was that, I couldn’t hear you,” Zheng Xuan teases, even as he pats Huang Shaotian on the back. “What a relaxing practice this was.”

Next to him, Xu Jingxi chuckles and adds, “I bet you could use a paladin now, yeah?”

Before Yu Wenzhou can decide whether to intervene—the teasing is all good-natured, but he can see the increasingly tense set of Huang Shaotian’s shoulders—someone else does it for him.

“I’ll fight you! Say it again and I’ll fight you.” Lu Hanwen jumps out of his seat to stand between Huang Shaotian and the team. “We’ll both fight you, right Huang Shao?” He looks over his shoulder at Huang Shaotian, who gives him an encouraging gesture. “Did I say it right, did I sound like you?” Lu Hanwen asks.

Huang Shaotian nods, bouncing on his heels and ruffling Lu Hanwen’s hair.

The sight soothes the knot simmering in Yu Wenzhou’s chest. For the time being, he’s content to watch and wait while their youngest teammate stands protectively in front of his partner. Not that Huang Shaotian needs protection, especially not from his own team who all mean well, but Yu Wenzhou has information the rest of the team doesn’t possess.

He knows how deeply Huang Shaotian is upset and frustrated at the loss of his voice, even if it’s only temporary. Even if he’s trying his best to hide it.

Yu Wenzhou sees the way his shoulders never fully relax, how his fingers grip the mouse just a tough too tightly, though he never lets it affect his performance. He notices the creases at the corners of Huang Shaotian’s mouth that haven’t smoothed away since the moment he tried to speak and nothing but a rasp came out.

When no one makes a move to leave, it’s time to step in.

“There’s no need for anyone to fight,” he says, pushing off the wall by the whiteboard and putting a hand on each of his blademasters’ shoulders.

“Zheng Xuan, Shaotian would tell you to enjoy your lack of stress while it lasts because he’s going to be twice as loud once he’s back to normal.” Turning to Xu Jingxi he says, “Shaotian has only taken minor damage from his illness, and so your skills, while appreciated, are best used on yourself in this instance.”

Lastly, he looks at Lu Hanwen at his side, giving a slight squeeze with the hand on his shoulder. “Well done, Hanwen. Shaotian appreciates your quick thinking and defense.”

When he glances at Huang Shaotian on his other side, he’s nearly blinded by the brightness of his smile. It’s the same excited look he gets whenever Yu Wenzhou does something clever or unexpected. Yu Wenzhou can’t help the flutter of satisfaction that stirs in his own heart at the sight of him. It only increases when the tight muscle under his hand goes slightly more pliant.

They all file out of the room. As is their custom, he and Huang Shaotian end up walking together. Huang Shaotian types furiously on his phone as they make their way through dormitory corridors. His typing is a chaotic mix of text, emojis, and acronyms but Yu Wenzhou has learned to read it as well as his own shorthand.

Warmth floods his cheeks as he takes the offered phone and reads the written message. He hadn’t intended to speak for Huang Shaotian at the conclusion of the practice but it had felt right and he’d followed his instincts. It’s nice to know firsthand that his efforts are appreciated. “You’re welcome, Shaotian,” he says, letting their fingers brush as he returns the phone.

He doesn’t delete the note with the message. After a moment, he notices that neither does Huang Shaotian.

They reach the door to Huang Shaotian’s room and Yu Wenzhou punches in the code.

Instead of texting back another message, Huang Shaotian pockets the phone, ushering him into the room and gently prodding him into place until the chill of the wall seeps into his back. He half expects a bruising kiss but instead Huang Shaotian presses his face in the crook of his neck. It’s second nature to wrap his arms around Huang Shaotian’s shoulders in return, to hold him tight and pull him to his chest until he can feel the thud of his heartbeat like it’s his own.

There’s something different this time, he realizes after a few seconds. Huang Shaotian is shaking.

He shifts his grip to his shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “Shaotian? Shaotian, what is it?”

Slowly, Huang Shaotian picks up his head. He isn’t crying but his eyes are tinged red like he’s trying not to. He opens his mouth to speak. And just as quickly closes it with an angry click.

Yu Wenzhou brings a hand to the side of his neck, his thumb stroking over his Adam’s apple. Oh. He knows what this is. “I know, I know, Shaotian, but the doctor said it’s only temporary. Just a couple more days, I promise,” he says. None of it seems to help and the words slip out before he can’t help it. “This sucks.”

The uncharacteristic language draws out a silent laugh. The vibrations from Huang Shaotian’s throat buzz against Yu Wenzhou’s hand and he tightens his grip. Not enough to impede Huang Shaotian’s breathing but enough to let him know Yu Wenzhou is here, that Yu Wenzhou has him and isn’t going anywhere. Huang Shaotian draws in a sharp breath and tilts his head back, yielding more access to his throat.

Yu Wenzhou takes what’s on offer, kissing a line up his neck from the hollow of his throat all the to the hinge of his jaw, whispering endearments and encouragement between kisses. “So good, you’re doing so good.”

By the time he’s done, Huang Shaotian is shaking once more but this time it’s not because he’s upset. The hardness stirring against Yu Wenzhou thigh is proof of that.

With one hand on Huang Shaotian’s throat and the other pressed against his heart, Yu Wenzhou walks them over to the bed.

.

ETA: now on AO3

[theres-a-goldensky]

List of My Fic - 2020

Am I 17 days late? Why, yes. I am. But here is a list of all the fic I wrote in 2020, going chronologically, plus some superlatives as I look back on last year.

Total stories written: 18

Total words written: 100,130

SUPERLATIVES:

Favorite fic I wrote in 2020: Dream On (Win/Team)

Least favorite fic I wrote: Sorry A Thousand Times (Fighter/Tutor)

Story I think is the most underrated: Jumping Off the Deep End (Richie/Eddie)

Favorite moment that I wrote:  

“Fuck this,” Eddie said just as the elevator doors opened. He jumped in and pressed the button to close the doors again.

“Oh, no way,” Richie said and hopped in with him. When Eddie tried to get back out, Richie grabbed his suit jacket and held on. “Nope, not a chance.”

The others stood in the lobby staring at the two of them.

“Stanley, your friends,” Patty said as the doors slid shut.

“Believe me, honey, I know,” Stan answered.

- Fake it ‘Til You Make it

Favorite sex scene that I wrote: 

Kit’s first time giving a blowjob, By Myself With You

It turned out that watching Kit pace naked around his dorm room while he talked himself through giving Ming a blow job for the first time was so entertaining that actually getting his cock sucked was almost a secondary benefit.

Ming laid equally naked in the middle of Kit’s bed, his hands laced behind his head, and enjoyed the show. He could see his very smart boyfriend using his very big brain to come up with the best course of action. Knowing him the way he did, Ming had no doubt that when Kit said he’d done research, he meant both the fun porn type and the boring, informational type. Ming hoped there were flashcards involved.

Favorite pairing dynamic to write: Oblivious Meng Shao Fei and jealous, protective Tang Yi - I did some variation of that trope in all three of my HIStory3: Trapped fics.

Click through for a list of all 18 stories in 7 fandoms.

WAITING FOR A SIGN Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Richie got tall. And broad. He had these wide shoulders and big hands that he’d gesture with emphatically when making some dumb joke about fucking Eddie’s dead mother. At one point, he poured Eddie a finger of Jameson and when Eddie tried to wave it off, Richie took hold of his wrist with one hand and pressed the glass into Eddie’s open palm with the other.

Eddie took a long sip as he had two equally shocking and mortifying thoughts in quick succession. The first was I want his hand around my dick, followed by holy fuck, I’m in love with this dirty asshole.

FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT  Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Explicit  Length: ~21,000 words Summary: “Then that’s it? You staged some pictures and now it’s done?” Eddie asked. 

“I wish,” Richie sighed. “This was just a test balloon to see how it goes over. If people react well, then we’re gonna make it official.”

“Official?” Eddie said faintly.

“You know what I mean. An official fake relationship. Artificially in love in that grand Hollywood tradition.”

SORRY A THOUSAND TIMES

Fandom: Why R U? the series Pairing: Fighter/Tutor Rating: Explicit Length: 3200 words Summary: The ride down to the beach had been pleasant enough, even if Tutor’s heart twisted every time his two friends discreetly traded shy smiles during lulls in the conversation. But Tutor made his choice, and he would have to live with it from now on. Whenever it felt overwhelming, whenever Tutor felt his fingers itching to pick up his phone and text Fight to tell him everything, he reminded himself why he was doing this in the first place. Tutor knew how important family was, and he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he ruined Fight’s relationship with his father.

JUMPING OFF THE DEEP END

Fandom: IT the movies Pairing: Richie/Eddie Rating: Teen Length: 7500 words Summary: He didn’t know what he expected to see when he barged into the room, but Eddie hooked up to a thousand beeping machines and smiling brightly at him wasn’t it. Richie skidded to a stop in the doorway, nearly causing a pile up behind him. His breath caught inside his chest at the sight of Eddie, his hair a riotous mess and his doe eyes wide and glassy. 

“Hey, guys,” Eddie said when he saw them. There was a nurse tinkering with one of the machines beside him.

They ignored her and huddled around Eddie’s bed. Richie stood near the back corner and drank in the sight of him. He squeezed his hands together and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from crying. Again. Jesus.

DREAM ON SERIES

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Explicit Length: 13,000 words over 3 stories Summary: “Team and Win, you’re in room 355,” Dean said.

Team rolled his eyes. “Why did I get stuck with you?” he hissed.

“Because I’m your senior, and you have to do what I say,” Win replied. Dream On Dream Team Dream Life

BY MYSELF WITH YOU

Fandom: 2Moons the series Pairing: Ming/Kit Rating: Explicit Length: 6100 words Summary: Oh, Kit,' Ming thought, hopelessly fond. This boy was going to ruin him.

THE MISSING PIECE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi Rating: Teen Length: 4000 words Summary: “Tang Yi, I thought you didn’t like Coke,” Shao Fei asked. He gestured with the bottle and took a long sip.

Tang Yi barely glanced up from his work. “I don’t,” he replied.

“Then why is your refrigerator full of it?” Shao Fei pressed. When Tang Yi didn’t respond, Shao Fei shook his head. “What a waste of money, to buy something that you won’t even drink. Good thing I’m here.”

WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing: Meng Shao Fei/Tang Yi and Jack/Zhao Zi Rating: Mature Length: 10,300 words Summary: “You’re finally getting your wish. I’m leaving you alone.” Shao Fei waved a finger in his face. “But don’t get too excited. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

“You’re going to help them look for whoever’s murdered those men,” Tang Yi surmised.

“A serial killer here in New Taipei City,” Shao Fei said. “It’s my duty.”

“Your duty,” Tang Yi replied mockingly. “They’re using you as bait.”

YOU CAN’T PLAY A PLAYER

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Jin Guangyao/Nie Huaisang Rating: Explicit Length: 1800 words Summary: If it wasn’t about his own amusement or pleasure, Nie Huaisang had no interest in it. Politics flew right over his head, waved away by the fluttering of one of his ever-present painted fans. That suited Meng Yao perfectly, as did the fact that he was obviously a cut-sleeve.

IN VINO VERITAS

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Lan Wangji / Wei Wuxian Rating: Teen Length: 5000 words Summary: Time stopped. Everything stopped. Wei Wuxian’s heart stopped. Slowly, he turned around to face Nie Huaisang.

“Lan Zhan is betrothed?” he asked carefully. 

Nie Huaisang paused with the bottle halfway to his lips. “Yes?” he said, sounding confused. “You must know that. Lan Qiren negotiated it himself.”

WEI WUXIAN VS. THE FEARSOME SUPER PANDA!!

Fandom: The Untamed Pairing: Gen Rating: Gen Length: 1300 words Summary: Wei Wuxian faces his most dangerous foe yet - the fearsome super panda.

MY BEST FRIEND Fandom: HIStory2: Right or Wrong Pairing: gen, Yijie/Shengzhe, Yijie + Shengzhe + YoYo Rating: gen Length: ~1700 words Summary: Even after over two years, Shengzhe is still uncomfortable around other parents.

FIVE YEARS LATER, THE WAY THINGS SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Fandom: HIStory3: Make Our Days Count Pairing: Xiang Haoting/Yu Xigu Rating: Mature Length: ~3400 words Summary: Yu Xigu isn’t at lecture, and the undergrads are worried. 

Yu Xigu rubbed his nose with the back of his hand sheepishly - so cute! How is he so cute?! - and said, “I wanted to get some work done.”

“You’re sick,” the guy replied. He placed one giant hand on Yu Xigu’s forehead and the corners of his mouth turned down. “You’ve got a fever.”

THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART

Fandom: HIStory3: Trapped Pairing:  Tang Yi/Shao Fei (Jack/Zhao Zi) Rating: Teen Length: ~2000 words Summary: A new food truck moves in near the police station.

Tang Yi grabbed the bun and took a bite. It was incredible. “Well?” Shao Fei asked. Tang Yi shrugged and passed back the half-eaten bun. “It’s ok,” he lied.

MISPLACE MY HEART

Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~4000 words Summary: Team turned back to face him, and Win curled both hands around either side of Team’s jaw, kissing him softly before pulling back and gazing at him with a small, satisfied grin.

“Hia,” Team began, just as Win said, “I’ve gotta go.”

Team closed his mouth on the rest of the words, swallowing them down along with his disappointment.

SO ANNOYING  Fandom: Until We Meet Again Pairing: Win/Team Rating: Mature Length: ~9700 words Summary: Team deals with some very unwanted attention at a swim meet and some very wanted attention from Win. (TW: brief, non-graphic sexual harassment)

[florbexter]

Hiii, sorry if I’m making you do more than you should but pretty please, can you write a small one shot of Shaofei returning the tie (the one that wrapped his wound) to Tangyi and Tangyi wears it out for the day?

Hey! Thank you so much for your prompt! I totally forgot about the tie but you’re right, he should have given Tang Yi the tie back! And I see Shao Fei as someone who would have done that :D 

It took me a long while to write this but now it’s part of the March Madness Collection and I hope you’ll like this ^.^

Tied up in knots | AO3 link

Shao Feihad been to five dry cleaners with the tie. He had left the first three withouttelling them what he wanted them to clean. He had no idea why. He was a cop. Itwouldn’t be too weird for him to have blood on a piece of clothing…

He had leftthe fourth cleaning business because a little child had stood beside the woman,looking at him with big eyes, hiding behind the counter. Shao Fei had tried toexplain what had happened (and he had no idea why he had the need to justifyhimself) but his eyes had wandered to the child all the time and then he hadleft. 

Should heeven clean the tie and give it back to Tang Yi? Tang Yi had a suit shop. Itwasn’t irrational to assume that he had a big pile of ties. Would he evennotice this very tie was missing? 

The oldlady in the fifths dry cleaning store had taken one look at it, had snatched itout of Shao Fei’s hand and had said: “Blood, right? I can get the stains out inthree days. Cash only!”

Shao Feihad not dared to disagree, so he had been back in three days and paid for thecleaned tie. And it was clean, as far as he could tell. It was black, so hehadn’t really seen the bloodstains in the first place but Tang Yi had carriedhim down the mountain to safety and had made sure that he was taken care off inthe hospital so the least Shao Fei could do was to give him back a cleantie. 

He lookeddown at it in the little plastic wrap and felt silly. Zhao Zi had said to justbuy Tang Yi a new one. 

“Whatever,”Shao Fei mumbled and threw it on the passenger seat of his car and tried to getall the weird thoughts out of his head. It laid there for over a week and everytime he climbed in his car, he saw the tie and shook his head and didn’t knowwhy he wouldn’t drive to Tang Yi’s shop or office or home to just throw the tieat him? He had thought about holding it hostage until Tang Yi told him whathappened four years ago, but he was relatively sure that that would be thefirst time Tang Yi would openly laugh at him. Not just a smirk but a full-onbelly laugh. It was almost tempting for that sight alone…

“Again… avery weird thought,” he said to his steering wheel after he wanted to driveaway from a witness interview. Tang Yi’s shop wasn’t far away so maybe he couldjust give his store manager the tie? She already knew him. She was the one whohad measured his body so they could rip him off a little fortune. He still hadno idea what to do with the suit he had bought. The captain had forbidden himto annoy Tang Yi at his home or office anyway so what choices did he have?

The emptyparking spot in front of the shop was like a sign and he stopped questioninghimself and entered the store. 

It alwaysfelt like time worked differently in Tang Yi’s shop. It felt old, but moreancient then outdated and Shao Fei felt out of place. He never liked chasingTang Yi down to this shop. Or maybe it was because of all these expensive suitsand how they didn’t really seem to fit him. 

“OfficerMeng.” The store manager bowed in greeting and smiled politely. Shao Fei wasconvinced that her smile became more and more strained the more he visited, andhe was secretly pleased about it. She could strangle him with her measuringtape, he was sure of it, but annoyed people tend to snap at some point andsnapping meant saying things they don’t want to say… he firmly believed thatshe knew more about Tang Yi and his ‘real’ business than she let one. Maybe oneday she would crack. 

He smiledhis most polite smile and offered her the tie. 

“I justwanted to bring this back. Your boss lent it to me.”

She lookedat him for a moment and he felt a bit silly thrusting out the tie to her. 

“I broughtit to a dry cleaner first of course. It’s clean now.”

“What isclean now, Officer Meng?”

Shao Fei andthe store manager turned around in unison to Tang Yi, and Shao Fei may havelaughed at the synchronicity of their movement if Tang Yi’s appearance hadn’tmade him a bit speechless. He had been so sure that Tang Yi wouldn’t be in hisstore today. Did he have his timetable wrong? It was Thursday morning… hewasn’t supposed to be here! 

He openedhis mouth to say something, to ask Tang Yi why he wasn’t at the Metro BusinessHotel, but Tang Yi made a gesture with his hand and the store managerdisappeared on light feet. In his head, Shao Fei had given the tie to her andleft and now he was standing in front of Tang Yi, who wore a black tie with acrisp white button-down, less colourful and less patterned than he was familiarwith and he felt really silly with the tie in his hand. 

“It’s a bitearly for one of your delightful interrogations,” Tang Yi drawled and theeyebrow he raised was blatantly mocking Shao Fei. They hadn’t seen each othersince they had tried to flee from the mountain and Shao Fei had a bit of aproblem matching the Tang Yi he knew and had chased for more than four yearswith the Tang Yi he had met in the little abandoned house next to a fire. Itwas like trying to fit two cut-outs over another until you must admit that youcan’t move the scissor the exact same way twice. 

“Your tie,”Shao Fei said instead of the questions he really wanted to ask, like, how TangYi had been if he slept better and why he wouldn’t talk to Shao Fei!?

“It’sclean, obviously.” 

Shao Feiprided himself in knowing Tang Yi’s micro-expressions but maybe it was hisfluttering heart making it impossible to read Tang Yi’s mimic. There was a rushin his ears, and it got worse because Tang Yi stepped closer and took the tieout of his hand.

Shao Feiwas someone who ripped up packages and presents. Tang Yi, apparently, needed totake his time opening the little plastic bag the tie was wrapped in. He foldedthe tie out and the fabric slid through his fingers making Shao Fei feel likehe was seeing something obscene. His chest felt tight with some unnamedemotion, or better, an emotion he couldn’t stop feeling since their night inthe mountains. 

Shao Feiwanted to say something, anything, but he could just stand there and watch asTang Yi opened the tie he already wore and put on the other one. He didn’t evenneed a mirror; his fingers unknotted the old one with deft movements and heknotted up the new on even faster. 

Shao Feiblinked and blinked because there was no space between them to look anywhereelse and if he would take a step back, he would be enfolded by a rack of suits.Why was this store so small? Why was Tang Yi changing ties? Why was he notfinding words? He was good at talking! He knew how to avoid silence withmindless chatter and…

“Thank youfor bringing the tie back,” Tang Yi said and then he flattened the tie on hisbody with his hand and who did that? Shao Fei wanted to throw up his arms inconfusion.

“You’rewelcome, I mean… that’s the least I could do. It’s your tie, it was my fault itgot blood on it, wasn’t it? You carried me down the mountain and got me intothe hospital and…”

“How’s yourwound?”

“What?”Shao Fei had talked himself in a kind of frenzy and had thought his last wordscould be something like ‘however, have a nice day, bye’ and he could leavethis very confusing situation, but Tang Yi didn’t get the memo.

Shao Feitouched his right arm as if he had to remind himself that yes, he had a woundthere. He had a bandage over it during the day so it wouldn’t tear open. 

“It’s okay.It’s almost healed. The stitches are out, and it looks good, I guess.” 

“I’m glad,”Tang Yi said. 

“You’reglad?”

“You soundsurprised? Do you think I want my favourite policeman injured, OfficerMeng?” 

“Yourfavourite…? Are you mocking me?”

There was agrin hiding in the corner of Tang Yi’s mouth and Shao Fei had the sudden urgeto hunt it until it became a full-fledged smile. The more he thought about it,the more he looked past the case of Li Zhen, the more he realised how much ofhis urge to chase Tang Yi was because of the man himself and not because of the knowledge he had.

It was anunsettling thought.

Tang Yididn’t seem to notice that his person was about to claim every thought in ShaoFei’s mind. He just stepped closer, closed the distance between them and ShaoFei took a step back.

“What Ialways wondered”, Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei felt the suits touching his back.

Normally,Shao Fei was the one getting up into other people’s spaces. It was a greatintimidation tactic and he had the feeling he got a good grasp on what anervous gulp, the widening of pupils or the thrumming of a pulse under the skinmeant. He had no problem breathing down someone’s neck and it was a biteye-opening to see how it felt when he wasn’t the one initiating theclose-up. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had stepped back froma suspect.

“I alwayswondered,” Tang Yi said and suddenly his fingers were around the collar of ShaoFei’s denim jacket, pulling at the material. “Why don’t you have a dress codeas detectives? You run around in uniforms otherwise but the moment you getpromoted it doesn’t matter anymore? Your appearance?”

There wasthe light touch of Tang Yi’s finger on his neck and Shao Fei felt it all theway down in his stomach. A buzzing feeling spread through his whole body. Heknew he was being insulted, but Tang Yi stayed way too close and his eyes,deep and dark, travelled from Shao Fei’s jacket to his own hand as if it wasfascinating what his fingers were doing.

Shao Feiswallowed.

A phone wasringing and destroyed whatever spell Tang Yi had woven around them. Shao Feiwasn’t even sure what he had said to escape the situation or if he had justfled without a word, but he found himself back in his car with a wild poundingheart and a dry throat. He raised his own hand to touch the patch of skin TangYi had… caressed. There was no other word for it. It hadn’t been anaccidental touch.

He wasflustered about it he realized and with a groan, he put his head against thesteering wheel.

+++

“Is everythingalright?”

Shao Feiblinked and looked up at Yu Qi who frowned in concern at the chocolate wrappersdecorating most of his desk. He was a stress eater.

It wasjust a tie, hewanted to say to her.

He lookedback at the document open on his computer and saw that he had written tiein the report about an attempted robbery.

“Just a bittired,” he said and closed the file. It was almost the end of his shift, but itfelt like he had been awake for days. Had the encounter with Tang Yi reallyhappened this morning?

“I thinkI’m going home for today.” Yu Qi smiled at him and nodded in agreement. Shetook the files he had worked on and dumbed them on Zhao Zi’s desk.

“Take agood rest,” she said cheerfully and now he had no choice but to shut down hiscomputer and take his jacket. Suddenly he stood outside of the building andlooked up at the darkening sky. The weather was still pleasant, and he thoughtabout taking a stroll through the market a few streets over when he saw afamiliar figure at the edge of his vision.

Shao Feiwas devoted to his work. He knew that and the emotional shortcomings he hadrelated to that. Sometimes it took him a long time to realize what was goingon, but he was quick to accept those feelings because why dwell on somethinghis heart knew all along?

Realizingthat everything wasn’t as black and white as he had thought took time and, ashe now grasped, also a bit of pain. He massaged the skin above his heart andknew that he could decide. He could ignore Tang Yi leaning against his car orhe could walk up to him.

He stillwore the tie.

“OfficerMeng,” Tang Yi said as Shao Fei approached, and it sounded more like a pet namethan an insult. It started an ache in Shao Fei’s stomach.

There wasno one around besides them and the sinking sun highlighted Tang Yi’s hair andmade his eyes shine. Was he now allowed to think about how breathtakinglybeautiful Tang Yi was?

“What can Ido for you Tang Yi?”, Shao Fei asked.  

“Today ismy birthday,” Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei blinked. Oh… Oh, he knew that.He opened his mouth to say, ‘Happy Birthday’ but Tang Yi interrupted himbefore he could: “And I have a wish.”

It feltlike he was finally able to see as if there had been a veil over his eyes andTang Yi’s little touch, had lifted it. Shao Fei could see the want in Tang Yi’seyes, even though his face was as impassive as ever. Had he always wanted ShaoFei that way? The thought made him breathless.

“Okay,”Shao Fei said easily and didn’t hesitate as Tang Yi opened the car door forhim.

They endedup in a little apartment. A secret hiding? A safe house? Shao Fei knew thatTang Yi lived in a big mansion on the outskirt of Taipei, but he wouldn’t askif this was a lover’s nest rented for the purpose of one-night stands.

Was he aone-night stand? Shao Fei didn’t do casual. He had no idea how to be casual.

Shao Feihovered in the hallway and watched as Tang Yi slipped out of his suit jacket,hanging it, like the neat freak he probably was, on a coat rack. Shao Feislipped out of his shoes and had the urge to kick them in a corner.

“I didn’tknow about this apartment,” he blurred out and thankfully Tang Yi just smiledat him.

“No onebesides me knows about it,” he answered and helped Shao Fei out of his jacket.

“Not evenHong Ye?” Shao Fei doubted that those two did anything without informing theother.

Tang Yilaughed soundlessly and tilted his head. It made him look young and mischievousand it threw Shao Fei off a little bit. Sometimes he forgot that Tang Yi wastwo years younger than him.

They stoodclose now.

Shao Feisaw how Tang Yi scanned his face with his eyes and even though Shao Fei gotinto his car and followed him to this apartment, he still seemed to think theball was in Shao Fei’s court.

Was he supposedto say it out loud? That he was ready for whatever they were going to do here?Of course, he wasn’t ready, but he was willing to fake his confidence until heknew how to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. He bit his lips andhis eyes travelled down from Tang Yi’s face to his neck down his chest.

The tie wasstill around Tang Yi’s collar.

Shao Feitook it and caressed the fabric. It was nice, he had to admit and with his eyesstubbornly on the task at hand, he loosened the knot. It opened quickly and ashe pulled the two strands apart his eyes fell to the skin above his fingers,still hidden by the collar of Tang Yi’s shirt. He put one finger against TangYi’s neck and smiled helplessly as he felt his racing pulse.

“Happybirthday,” he said and felt a heavy surge of arousal and confidence as he sawand felt Tang Yi swallow. Tang Yi’s pupils were blown wide open when Shao Feilooked back at him.

He grabbedTang Yi’s face and kissed him.

There was asoftness to Tang Yi’s lips he hadn’t expected, and he chased it frantically.Tang Yi’s hands slipped under his shirt and gosh he hadn’t known. Why hadn’t heknown?

It was alearning curve to kiss Tang Yi and he hesitantly tried to deepen the kiss,licking at Tang Yi’s upper lip, biting and sucking until Tang Yi moaned andShao Fei felt his fingers tighten on his skin. This was good, he thoughtdizzyingly as Tang Yi put kisses on his jawline up to his ear and Shao Feiburied his fingers in Tang Yi’s hair, when Tang Yi bit him playful in one earlobe.So good.

And he feltpowerful. Not in a way as if he suddenly had the upper hand on Tang Yi, but ina way that made him realize how big his heart could feel. He felt powerful andscared and vulnerable. Tang Yi undressed him and that was another kind ofvulnerability. He buried his face in Tang Yi’s neck and tried to hide from histhoughts and Tang Yi’s gaze but that made it impossible for Tang Yi to unbuttonhis shirt. But maybe Tang Yi knew him better than he had thought because hedidn’t try to look at Shao Fei’s face, instead, he hugged him and caressed ShaoFei’s back in long, soothing strokes. From his neck to his tailbone, withpressure, but gentle. Up and down.

Why? Whydid he feel so comfortable in the arms of a gangster, someone who was a potentialmurderer, who had answers to Shao Fei most burning questions? Why was he notrunning away?

Why – TangYi kissed him behind his ear and a full-body shiver ran over Shao Fei. Hegrabbed Tang Yi’s face again and kissed him deeply. There was a desperation toit he couldn’t stop.  He pushed Tang Yibackwards, towards the bed he had seen the moment he had stepped a foot intothis tiny apartment. They bounced a little when they fell on the mattress andShao Fei laughed breathlessly against Tang Yi’s skin. The skin of his neck,soft and addictive and Shao Fei might have touched other people before, butTang Yi felt so knew as if Shao Fei had unlearned anything from before Tang Yi.

“What doyou want?”, he asked while they tried to undress each other. It wasn’t an easytask; mostly because they needed to kiss and caress every bit of skin which gotuncovered.

“What doyou want?”, Shao Fei asked again and unbend to wriggle out of his jeans. Healmost fell off the bed but, in the end, he smiled triumphally and then smiledagainst Tang Yi’s lips as he pulled him down to him again.

“So much,”Tang Yi answered, and Shao Fei got lost in the expression in his eyes, thenaked lust in them and the way his fingers ran through the hair on the back ofhis head. Tang Yi kissed him, kissed him slowly, kissed him deliberately as ifhe wanted to make sure Shao Fei was going to remember how it felt to be kissedby him. How could he ever forget? Shao Fei melted against Tang Yi, his bodyweak and at this moment, he knew that he had been born to be kissed by Tang Yi.

Shao Feihad no clear memory on how they got undressed, where their clothes landed orwhose hands opened whose buttons but he remembered the gasp he let out whenthey embraced each other naked, the way Tang Yi’s skin felt under his hands,silky and smooth.

Tang Yi hadfound his favourite spot on Shao Fei’s collarbone, nipping and nuzzling at itwhile their bodies began to get slippery from sweat. A bittersweet ache sweptthrough Shao Fei’s body and when Tang Yi’s clever hands found his dick, he hadto take a deep breath because suddenly it all got too overwhelming and he hadthe feeling he could come on the spot.

“Oh fuck,”he said breathlessly, and Tang Yi smiled against his lips as if he wasdelighted by Shao Fei’s inability to control himself. Shao Fei held his breathand wanted to push Tang Yi gently away, but he already rolled to the side andhis mind had just stopped spinning when Tang Yi put a bottle of lube into hishands.

“You wantto kill me,” he groaned but Tang Yi only smiled at him, a regal smile, an ‘Iwant you to pleasure me’ smile and leaned back, obviously comfortable inhis nakedness and his desire to get Shao Fei’s fingers on him. Shao Fei climbedon top of him to kiss the smug smile from his lips and the lube fell from hishands because kissing Tang Yi was heaty and distracting and good.

He decidedthen and there that he needed to travel down Tang Yi’s body with his mouth,because his fingers weren’t to be trusted for remembering Tang Yi correctly.Tang Yi was encouraging every lick and every bite and every kiss with hisfingers in Shao Fei’s hair, caressing or pulling, with the roll of hips againsthim. He gasped – shocked - when Shao Fei began to tease him with his wetfingers and it was Shao Fei turn to feel smug that Tang Yi hadn’t been able tokeep track of the bottle of lube, but the intimacy took his breath away, howTang Yi opened to his fingers, writhing on them and Shao Fei said “Fuck” butwhat he wanted to say was: ‘If we never going to do this again, I will die.’Tang Yi arched his body towards him, and Shao Fei was lost in the smell andfeel of him. He mouthed along Tang Yi’s hipbone and tried to get a grip on hisimpatience, he wanted to slow down, but Tang Yi commanded to be faster, orslower or ‘Yes, right there’.

Tang Yiburied his hands in Shao Fei’s hair to pull him up to him and then it was amess of sorting limbs, the condom wrapper and Tang Yi turned on his side andShao Fei began to press into him and knew that he hurt Tang Yi with his fingerswhich dug into his tight and he moaned his pleasure against Tang Yi’s back,helplessly, utterly wrecked.

Then TangYi’s hand was on his buttocks and Shao Fei had to press forward and Tang Yijust held him there, and the pressure made Shao Fei see stars. “Fuck”, hewhispered and looked up. Tang Yi had bent his head back, the bliss clearlyvisible on his face and Shao Fei jerked, the upward thrust almost impossiblewith the way Tang Yi held him still with his hand. He put tiny, little bitesalong Tang Yi’s neck until he was at his ear and whispered, “let me”. h

He loosenedTang Yi’s hold on his butt and Tang Yi’s mouth fell open in a silent moan asShao Fei started to move in short jerky moves. Tang Yi met him in a slow,deliberate rhythm and when Tang Yi cursed as Shao Fei snaked his hand aroundhis hip to get a hold of his erection Shao Fei laughed, a punched-out breatheof air. He felt flushed and hot and indescribable happy and it was a revelationto see Tang Yi caught in the throats of passion, uninhibited, his moans loud inthe room while he moved his body to take what he wanted. Shao Fei held himselfstill and let Tang Yi use his body, let him move on his dick, let him use hishand to get pleasure at the forward thrust and when Tang Yi moved his head ShaoFei got the note and put his mouth behind Tang Yi’s ear, coaxing husky soundsof pleasure out of him.

It feltincredible and time became a blur, they got lost in the back and forth of theirbodies, the slide of Shao Fei inside Tang Yi; sometimes smooth sometimeserratic and when he felt his orgasm approach he hugged Tang Yi tight, his mouthopen against his shoulder blade, pushing and pushing and it was still a shock,the wave of pleasure sweeping through his body, the pressure suddenly gone, hisbody felt numb and alive at the same time, was he shaking? His heart raced andhe laughed helplessly and groaned when he felt Tang Yi stiffen and then thewarm release of his orgasm on his fingers.

“Happybirthday,” he said, and Tang Yi laughed as he found his hand and squeezed.

+++

Shao Feiwoke up to the soft lighting of the dawn. He felt disorientated for a moment,turned around and almost hit Tang Yi in the face… Tang Yi. Shao Fei stared athim for a few seconds.

He lookedsoft, with his hair falling in his face, his mouth slightly open, while hebreathed evenly. Shao Fei wanted to touch him, but he had no idea if the ruleshad changed, what had changed between them, what was he allowed to do?

He slippedout of bed and found his underwear. His phone was in his jacket and it showedhim that he had to go home and change if he wanted to be ready for work ontime. Tang Yi was still asleep, sprawling across the bed and Shao Fei had tothink about their conversation in the mountains. Was this one of the rare timesTang Yi allowed himself to sleep?

Shao Feitiptoed around the room and dressed. He suppressed the urge to go back to thebed to look at Tang Yi because he had no idea what to say if he woke up. On hisway out of the apartment, he spotted the tie and whatever urge made him pick itup and put it in his pocket he didn’t question it.

+++

Shao Feistared at the glass of water in his hands and since he had left Tang Yi’s apartment,he wasn’t sure how he should feel. Guilty, indifferent, ecstatic?

The day hadpassed in a haze of cases, interviews, and paperwork and he had remembered thenight with Tang Yi at the weirdest times. It had always been as if time stoodstill, or maybe more of a slow-motion of the reality around him while heremembered the way Tang Yi’s hair had tickled his face or the weight of hisdick in his hand, the taste of his lips, their fight with the blanket, alltangle up, when they had wanted to slip under it to sleep.

Hisdoorbell rang. Shao Fei frowned at the clock. It was past midnight and hecouldn’t think of someone who would visit him at this hour… maybe somebody hadused the wrong doorbell, but he pressed the intercom button anyway.

“Yes?”

“It’s me.”

Shao Feifelt that his pulse took up speed and he realized how much he had wanted it to beTang Yi.

“I have toreport a robbery. You’re really brazen for a detective to steal from me.” Therewas a growl in Tang Yi’s voice and Shao Fei smiled.

“Everyonehas layers,” he said and pressed the buzzer. He opened the door to listen forTang Yi’s footsteps on the staircase and felt agitated but in a good way. Werethose the famous butterflies doing looping’s in his stomach?

Tang Yifrowned up at him the moment he spotted Shao Fei and Shao Fei knew that heprobably shouldn’t smile at that, but he found it sexy.

“Come in,”he said.

Tang Yi’sfrowned deepened when he saw his tie around Shao Fei’s neck and Shao Fei knewthat it must look weird but he hadn’t been able to suppress the urge to wear itafter he had found it in his trousers while he had changed for work. He wasdriven on instinct when Tang Yi was concerned.

Tang Yislipped out of his shoes and pushed them next to Shao Fei’s as if it was themost natural thing in the world. He glanced around, scanned Shao Fei’s littleapartment, but his eyes landed on Shao Fei again quickly, his look intense anddark as he eyed him from head to toes.

I have yourfingerprints on my butt, Shao Fei wanted to say and hid his smile behind hishand, masking it as a cough. Tang Yi squinted at him. Maybe he should feelanxiety or embarrassment, but he just wanted to smile.

“Do youwant something to drink?”, he asked but Tang Yi shook his head.

“No. I’mhere to complain about Taipei’s police force. It’s an abuse of power.”

“What is?”

“Stealing atie and then wearing it yourself.”

It wasn’tabout the tie; Shao Fei knew that. It was probably about the way Shao Fei haddisappeared in the morning, without a word. But as a defence: Shao Fei had noidea how to act around a one-nightstand. What were the rules? Should he haveleft a note?

He had adecision to make, he realized. Like he had done when he went into Tang Yi’scar. And like then it was a one-time offer. Yes or no.

The waterspilt out of the glass when he put it on the kitchen table, but he didn’tcare.

He spreadhis arms and said: “You’re more than welcome to get the tie back.”

Tang Yibegan to smile.

+~end~+

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 38

Last time: Ed was super composed when talking to his crush, Granny Armstrong was here and gone before I knew it, and Selim stayed out past his bedtime. Onwards!

Riza gets back to her apartment, so shaken up over the Pride reveal that she starts at seeing eyes in the shadows, when it’s just her dog (does it have a name?). Yeesh, she has had a day, hasn’t she? The phone ringing suddenly doesn’t help her nerves, nor does Roy being cheesy and trying to pass off his mountain of flowers to her. Ocne he hears her little huff of stress he does a complete 180 and asks what’s wrong, but since we can’t know if Pride is listening she claims that she’s fine. Roy’s left standing in the phonebooth, glaring down at the silent headset in his hand. Huh, didn’t realize that Sideburns was still having to tag along with Kimblee, thought he’d stay at Briggs. Anyways, Kimblee and the Blondes have wound up at an abandoned mining town. Time to make like a cliched horror movie and split up! Two of Kimblee’s mooks are assigned to follow the Elrics. Episode 38 - “Conflict at Baschool” Now how to ditch the Mooks and the dozen other soldiers with them?

Eh. If it works, it works. They run off from the common soldiers but the Mooks are hot on their heels. Wait never mind they’re chasing them into the building too, they turn the wait what? Where did they… oh yeah, Ed’s an Earthbender. Ha! Nice job pulling up a wall that muffles Al’s heavy footsteps! Uuuunfortunately, while they’re on their own to search Baschool now, in the words of Ed “this place is too damn big”. How on earth are they supposed to find Scar and May in all of this? [Ed]: “If would make things a hell of a lot easier if Scar and that girl just came to us…” [May]: “Alphonse!” Well that was easy. Aw, she still has her huge crush on Al, he’s not helping with his talk about how they were trying to find her and he really needed to see her. Yup, she (and Shao May) are so deep in Crush Mode she can’t even hear him ask for Alkahestry lessons. Ed snaps her out of it by demanding lessons, she tries to let him down gently- wait, “let me out"? Uh oh. [Angry!May]: “Excuse me?! Who is this woman, Al? How could you do this to me?” Aw, sorry May. Don’t worry, you’ll find a guy some day. Hey, Marcoh! Hey… Yoki? Wait, has Ed actually ever met Yoki before now? Yoki sure seems to think they did… Ok, apparently this was a manga story, we’re getting a silent movie but the dialouge is in Japanese so I’ve got no idea what anyone’s saying. Apparently Yoki used to be mayor of a mining town, then Ed came in with a bunch of gold bars and… bought the title to the town? Now hold up, am I understanding that Ed Transmuted a bunch of coal to gold in order to trick Yoki into giving up the title, and then passing it on to the miners who then kicked Yoki out of town? How? Is there such a thing as temporary Transmutation? I thought the effects were always permanent? So after he got kicked out, Yoki went on to try and restore his fortunes through various trades (he failed in each one), “investing his savings” (the casino took the shirt off his back), and straight up trying to steal (from two GIANT women who could honestly give The Mighty Armstrong a run for his money in the muscles department, yikes), which led to him running into a young girl at a piano who… wait… OH MY LETO DID YOU REALLY TRY TO STEAL FROM THE ARMSTRONG MANOR?! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

After he somehow survived an Armstrong-propelled piano to the face, he ended up in the Ishvalan compound, where he would do the second-stupidest thing in his life trying to take Scar for a bounty, and he’s finally ended up here. So we’ve got a room where Yoki is ranting about his “epic vengeance”, Winry and Al are trying to calm down a heartbroken May, Ed’s still pushing for Alkahestry lessons, and Marcoh is probably wondering if he wasn’t better off with the Goths. So where’s Scar? Kimblee’s getting the news that Winry’s escaped her own minders, Sideburns volunteers to go look for her and takes command of two troops, brushing off Kimblee’s words. The Crimson Alchemist is left standing there, scowling after a proper leader. Eh, you got some good Manipulator points from last episode, but you’ve still got to make up for your pitiful train battle. Scar’s going through some cans and bottles for food when two of Kimblee’s Mooks show up and demand his surrender. What, you punks think you can take on The Killer of Alchemists? Oh! Apparently they’re chimeras, part boar and part toad respectively. Time to kick some monster butt, Scar! Mid-ep pictures of Yoki and the Chimeras (Zampano and Jerso). Yeah, I’m just gonna call you Boar and Toad. The Blondes and the Brunettes are sitting in a circle now, Ed explaining that he found out what Philosopher’s Stones are made of, and their new angle of researching Alkahestry. And what do you know, Marcoh’s got a book by someone who worked to combine the Transmutation disciplines. Ed’s not too happy to hear that they need Scar to break the code (what, you guys didn’t work on that between the cabin and this mining town?). Ah well, where is the Ishvalan, anyway? *boom* There he is! Ed and Al order the others to stay put and head his way. Toad is surprisingly fast for his bulk, dodging Scar’s HoDs and kicks while Boar launches spikes from his back. Also, Toad can spit goop. One drawback to Scar’s style, it’s entirely melee. The chimeras plan to just stick to ranged attacks to wear him down. Scar tries to run off to the side, but a spike cuts his arm and goop glues his hand to the ground. Oh no, if only there was someone on the way who could save him…

Da dada dah! Ed and Al are here to save the day! Al picks up on them being Kimblee’s goons from Central. Now, how to- “AAAAH! TALKING MONSTERS!” Hahahaha! Oh, that is priceless! Pretend to freak out over the inhuman beasts in the room that are “pretending to be your friends”, so you’ve got an excuse if they report back to Central. Toad tries to slime them but notes that Ed is faster than Scar… and grinning like a loon? Oh yeah, this is his first time fighting with his new automail, it’s lighter than the old set so he moves faster! Hits lighter though, Toad’s back up and spitting actual spit. Thanks for telling us what it is, now Ed can break it down to water and freeze your back! And throw his brother into the Toad? Oh, ouch! Metal Armor + Frozen Flesh = Bad Times. Whoop, Boar’s back up, yelling that he and Ed are on the same side. Oh yeah? Prove it! If you’re human then transform back and ahahaha! [Ed]: “Thanks for the opportunity, sucker!” Alright, one Chimera down, knock out the Toad and LETO! What the hell Al, did you just snap his neck?! Jeebus! Scar’s freed himself from the goop, good. Now we can all head back to the others and what. Ed, no. You were literally just told that you need him to decipher the journal and you’re both working against Central now, just tell him what you’ve learned and WHY. NO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO FIGHT. STOP IT. You want him to pay for what he’s done? Then get his help deciphering the journal, fix your bodies, then you can have a great big revenge brawl. Ok fine, whatever. Ed and Al charge him, you might wanna look out for the HoD or protect your arm… oh yeah, the new arm is an alloy, not steel. Just like when Ed tried disarming Buccy, Scar’s failure just means Ed’s close enough to kick him. But like his file says, when Scar’s in trouble he tends to wreck the ground, he bursts through the rubble to strike Ed- [Winry]: “Don’t hurt them!” Winry?! Ok while I appreciate the character development and the chance to confront your parents’ killer, did you leave the Brunettes? Scar’s distracted by her arrival, giving Ed and Al the chance to knock him down and secure his arm. Before she can talk to Scar though, Sideburns shows up. Hopefully Kimblee’s not too close behind. Sideburns orders “the ungodly experiments by our superiors” tied to a column (so they’re still alive?), approaches Scar wait what no don’t shoot him! We need him to break the code! Ed, Al, stop him! Winry? Hoo boy. Winry’s confronting Scar. [Winry]: “Why? Why did you kill my mother and father?” [Scar]: “...there’s nothing I can say that won’t sound like an excuse. And nothing can change the fact that I am responsible for their deaths. Wait, boom?! What? No! Ok ok, calm down, maybe this is another Ross Deception. Trick Kimblee into thinking that Scar is dead? Sparks and a flame show Buccy underground, still with the Tunnel Rescue Team and saying… uh oh. They’re over the 24 hours, and Armstrong the Great said they’d cover the entrance with concrete after that. Come on, don’t leave these guys stuck! They aren’t Alchemists, they’ll have to go back through the Pride-infested tunnel and find another way out! Well, Buccy tries knocking on the door anyways. Silence. Crap. Alright, back down- hey, it opened! It’s Tank Grandpa! Did you really defy Armstrong The Great’s orders? Nice knowing you, buddy. What do you mean, it hasn’t been 24 hours? I doubt that Buccy went on that mission with an improperly timed watch… unless he was given one, to ensure he got back on time? [Tank Grandpa]: *points to shattered pocketwatch* “It’s a nice watch, isn’t it? General Armstrong gave it to me whenever you guys left.” HA! Best General in the show by far. Sorry Grumman, you’ll have to settle for second. Armstrong the Great is hanging out on top of the fort when Buccy gives his report on two survivors. Apparently she’s outside to look at the mountains, admiring the simplicity of their black and white in the winter. Buccy must be feeling really damn confident right now because he argues that it’s not true, if she just looks up she can see the blue sky. [Buccy]: “There’s nothing that’s entirely black and white.” *MASSIVE SHIT-EATING GRIN* “And thanks for showing your soldiers a little mercy! It means a lot, sir.” [Armstrong the Great]: *smiles* “That’s nice, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

New Ship confirmed! Incoming convoy! Are Kimblee and the others coming back? Did they forget to pack lunch? Oh crap. Central’s already sent some forces to find out what happened to Raven. Explosions! Back in Baschool, Kimblee’s finally shown up to the building where everyone was fighting, sees Ed rush out through the smoke. [Ed]: “You bastard! This is all your fault Kimblee, you were supposed to be watching Winry!” Wait what? NO. Argh that’s Winry being carried by Scar no no how did he escape did May break him out why can none of these idiots just talk to each other?! Argh! Wait, hold on. There’s a bandage on his cut arm… Ha! Elaborate Ross Deception, go!

[kali-dw]

Finally catching up on the episodes after ages.

Ep. 15

• the confrontation between Tang Yi and CWH was intense with all the threats

• Finally showing us Shao Fei doing some good investigating work.

• Tang Yi wanting to just talk to his boyfriend while enjoying a cup of tea but having Shao Fei just cutting off the call with a 'Busy. bye' was hilarious to see. Poor boi looked at the phone a little shook

• Tang Yi calling and texting Shao Fei non-stop has to be one of my favourite parts of the episode. I really loved that they showed us a clingy, worried and soft Tang Yi who couldn't function for even a day without his boyfriend for a day.

I love how he goes from annoyed to pissed off to really soft and worried. He goes through all the feels

• Tang Yi's horrified look when he goes into the police station. That's a man who's reduced to go to enemy territory just to know where the hell his boyfriend disappeared

• Hong Ye giving basically her blessing was so sweet, saying how she can leave Tang Yi to his half-friend to protect him

• Jack and Zhao Zi' s scene was cute even if too short.

I understand now Zhao Zi not being that phased about Jack buying him food, he's used to it. Bonus Jun Wei reading the air and running away when Jack smiles at him

Ep. 16

• Zhao Zi looking and beaming at his bento

• Th Qi and boss Shi teasing him about said bento and about having a girlfriend

• Captain Shi and shady cop...I didn't see that coming. I was really surprised about him taking the hush money and covering things up even if he looked regretful af

• They really did Shi De dirty. First they killed his character with *that scene* and then they killed him off screen like this

• Shao Fei coming in Tang Yi's home like it's nothing and then being a little shit playing the messages in front of him. And Tang Yi being all shy.

• That hug and all the softness between them was what my soul needed. And a I love how Shao Fei is always so attentive and in tune with Tang Yi's feelings.

• time for the big reveal which at this point we pretty much all guessed already. It was pretty good tho

Only 4 episodes left and I'm not ready for it to finish, I'm gonna need at least a couple more seasons!

[tube-thoughts-blog]

Vol. 11

Zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

"Groove On Fight" --Sega Saturn-- (Atlus) -1997- *Imagine a Japanese pretty boy version of Christopher Walken with a neo biker / leather cowboy fetish. Now imagine an entire, -wealthy & powerful- "Game of Thrones style" inbred family of them all with some peculiar fetish. They fight it out for control of the family. The matriarchy of the family is two grannies tied back to back like Siamese bondage twins. One fight takes place on the back of an American type bomber plane up above the clouds. That last sentence pretty much speaks to the disturbed nature of a lot of Japanese art after World War 2.* close to 3 stars

Godfrey Ho's "Ninja Commandments" (1987) *Who knew that honky moral issues like pre-marital sex were such problems for Ninjas, or that they liked to party with skanky groupies, and that pretty much all ninjas are not-so-secretly middle age white men.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

*Deadly Prey: Ice T's "The Game"(?), a movie where a guy gets kidnapped by army dudes and hunted for sport only to fight back, this time with a hero who's a Patrick Swayze type bohunk Rambo.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hard Ticket To Hawaii: Skinemax classic about blonde bimbos trying to stop criminal smuggling in an exotic locale. Also, killer, "infectious," cancer-ridden, huge snake.* 2 1/2 stars

*Miami Connection: Lost & found gem of a movie with nearly as many awkwardly awesome moments as Tommy Wiseau's "The Room."* 3 stars

Red Letter agrees that Miami Connection is "The Best of the Worst."

---------------------------------

"Red Earth" aka "Warzard" (Capcom) *A wizard summons up a bunch of kaiju monsters, in scattered epic sites, that only a big lion-man and several other heroes can vanquish from the earth. Typical wizard being a total dickhead, to the rest of magic-impaired mankind, behavior.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Bushido Blade 2" (Playstation 1) *Bloodthirsty Japanese clans have kept up the honor of warring over territory for power for centuries up into modern times, in this game. It's a nice mixture of both old and new worlds, and the music and dialogue is well done, and even the setting and characters (though limited by the blocky polygon look of early 3D). It keeps with "realism" too with one good killing stroke, with a warrior's sword, doing the job. It even has thrills like bikini girls with machine guns.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service Vol. 4" (Dark Horse Manga) *Morbid and eccentric tales of a group of Buddhist college students with unique gifts of communicating with corpses littered in strange locations around Japan. They help fill the odd requests of these bodies to be put at peace usually in some morbid way or involving some morbid mystery. Instead of trash "reality" entertainment like Long Island Medium, this much better "talking with the deceased" fiction should be turned into tv entertainment for western audiences. It's so much more interesting and entertaining.* 3 stars

"Savage Reign" (SNK) *This is the Kris Kross of fighters. Kriss Kross being a pair of 12 year old rappers whose record company realized their talent was lacking so they came up with the bright idea to have the duo dress with their clothes backwards. The gimmicks in Savage Reign are plenty. There's a clown who fights with roller skates. A valley-girl swinging around a pink bowling ball. His name is Joker, and she looks like a cleaned up Harley Quinn, come to think of it now. A Vanilla Ice look-a-like sports a Captain America' Canadian tuxedo of denim and stars and stripes. The Ryu style hero, of the game, fights without fireballs but instead a silly boomerang. The big boss is a fancier "cock of the walk" Shao Kahn throwing his punches with fists covered in boxing gloves. Sickly serene backgrounds include a generic Disneyland theme park and an underground cow milking gang hideout that is almost as weird as something out of "Naked Lunch."* 2 stars

The Spoony Experiment: Clones of Bruce Lee *When Bruce Lee tragically died during the height of his career, movie producing jerks didn't let it stop them from abusing his legacy. Tons of Bruce Lee impersonators popped up and a sub-genre of exploitation movies was born. They were called Brucesploitation flicks. In this one, it's about as shameless as it gets with a plot about cloning Bruce Lee before his body has even grown cold and using the clones for nefarious purposes.* close to 2 stars for the sleazy, cheesy movie and 3 stars for Spoony's review

"Fight For Life" (The Last Official Atari Jaguar Game) --1996-- *Show a kid, today, an Atari 2600 game and they'll think you're giving them something like an ink blot test. Having witnessed an Atari 2600 game, back in the day, it felt like I was standing on the edge of the digital future. The Atari Jaguar promised that brave, new, digital future with their doomed Jaguar gaming machine. I remember the first time I saw Sega's Virtua Fighter in an arcade. I did get that "tomorrow feeling." I couldn't wait to take these blocky 3D characters and make them my sandbox toys tossing them around with their ragdoll physics. It was mind blowing. Atari's Fight For Life wanted to be like Virtua Fighter, only it comes off more like a 2600 ink blot test for the imagination, and really painful to the senses. Man, is it ugly and clunky. It's definitely not "epic," but I can compare it to something else that is "epic." The Faith No More "Epic" music video where the fish out of water is flopping its death throes. It's more like that fish than a jaguar.* between 1 and 1 1/2 stars

The Cinema Snob: Karate Girl *Rape revenge exploitation "thriller" circa 1970s about a mute girl from a Turkish village. The kind of movie that Tarantino would rip off elements from and be called a genius later. Also featuring an infamous over-the-top death scene that's become an internet meme.* close to 2 stars for the movie & close to 3 stars for the review

"The Blonde Fury" (1989) *Cynthia Rothrock is the greatest female action star. It had to be said, because it's true. This is a Hong Kong action flick about crazy counterfeiters and quirky investigators. The English dubbing is extra entertaining and the comedy is quite clever.* 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 5 *Finally, a bloody battle, at sea, to go along with the pirate base politics and prostitute abuse.* 3 stars

Hot Package: Pilot (Adult Swim) --2013-- *Spoof of insipid celebrity obsessed shows like E!NEWS and Entertainment Tonight, but with a weird EverythingIsTerrible style obscure internet clip twist. Featuring "hot phone sex" Pat from Access Hollywood and produced by Tim & Eric from Adult Swim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

"Slap Happy Rhythm Busters" (Playstation One) *Filled with quirky characters who use supermoves similar to a Marvel Versus series game & graphics as brightly colored as 'Viewtiful Joe' 'Katamari Damacy' & 'Legend of Zelda Windwaker', Slap Happy will slap you silly with enjoyment.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Slaughter Sport" aka "Tongue of the Fatman" (Razorsoft) Sega Genesis 1991 *Another barbaric battle of death, in a palace pit, hosted by a Jabba the Hutt style freak boss who also looks like a shirtless Eric Cartman, in his underwear, with a hideous face and tongue on his fat rolls of a belly. Tech-abominations like a cybernetic chicken, fierce sex slave warrior chicks, gassy gargoyles, spider-women, bad boy white rappers, and other mutated freaks of the wasteland compete for the hunger and amusement of Mondu, the fatman. His pet sand-shark finishes off the losers.* running from close to 2 stars down to 1 star

"Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters: Melee" (x-Box) *This has almost everything a fan of kaiju destruction could want. Just about every Tokyo stomping monster is in it, and playable. Only thing missing is frightened citizens running about pointing at "Gojira." Plus, I think the voices over the airwaves should sound Asian. Points for the quirky bits like a UFO hovering over attacking and Mothra getting in on the action.* close to 3 stars

"Rakuga Kids" *Some brats battle their stuffed animals around their playrooms and neighborhood that look like they're out of a pop-up storybook. It's sort of Street Fighter 2 meets Toy Story 2. Animated similar to Rugrats and Adult Swim's Home Movies.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Dragoon Might" -Arcade- (Konami) --1995-- *The fancy presentation of this game reminds me of 2009's 3D spectacle, Avatar. It makes me wanna reach out and pick a low hanging piece of pretty fruit and bite into it. Yet, there's a pit. The artistry and poetry looks at times like it's coming from a Crouching Tiger, but hidden in the bushes, ready to pounce, is a shirtless guy in torn jeans and brandishing a butcher knife. It's just goodtime trash stealing your quarters.* 2 1/2 stars

"Kaiser Knucle" (Arcade) *This is the Vanilla Ice "Cool As Ice" of Street Fighter 2 rip offs. You can play as Fred Flinstone's daughter or "Barts" Yes with an S (teen biker Bart Simpson?) & Ryu w/ flowing mullet, or even "Boggy" who is a MC Hammer wannabe. "Don't hurt 'em!"* 2 stars

Nostalgia Critic: Rise of the Commercials *A look back on when silly advertising really RULED! "Don't put it in your mouth." That is unless it's been properly branded by corporate America and parent approved.* 3 stars

Double Dare: Super Sloppiest Moments *Kids, and their mostly whitebread families, get covered in green slime.* 2 1/2 stars

Jack & Triumph: Commercial *It starts off funny with making fun of Dennis Leary for stealing Bill Hicks' comedy act. Then it gets typical with the whole Alan Thicke showing up and we're supposed to accept that he's now "ironically funny" because he's a square former celebrity acting in an offensive way that we never saw on his old tv show. That's the same kind of lame shit that media is always trying to do in a hipster way with all these former celebrities from the 70s, 80s, or 90s. Robert Smigel can do so much better, see TV Funhouse for example.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Master Ninja 1 *Lee Van Cleef makes a convincing wild west badass. Surrounded by 70s style slacker dude in a muscle van, mousey & young Demi Moore, hicksploitation villains, and obvious kung fu stuntman doing his action work -Lee struggles to make a convincing martial arts badass.* 2 stars with riffing between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without riffing

"Project Justice" --Sega Dreamcast-- (Capcom) *I believe it was the 70s, that era of great television, that first introduced the novelty of students teaming up with a teacher in the classic "Welcome Back, Kotter." The 80s went further, with this, having society's school aged misfits solving problems of gangs of bullies terrorizing the halls of school or jerks who wanted to close down the local youth center and even the retro cheese staple of ski slope jerks challenging our youthful heroes to a race for control of the ski slope club's mountain. This game is similar, in nature, and has the extra benefit of featuring quirky Japanese style characters and aesthetics.* close to 3 stars

"Last Bronx" (Sega Model 2 Arcade) *Consumer electronics have always been trendy with yuppies. When home entertainment centers became hot, everybody had to have one. Digital watches were on every wrist. A Sony walkman around every neck and in every pocket. Still, there was always a stigma about technology, whenever it was new or in development. At the turn of the 21st century, few would have imagined people lining up around the streets to get each new Apple computer product. Same with gaming, it was a kids novelty, and didn't have the online social media culture that it enjoyed after their was a broadband connection and a Sony Playstation 2 in most every living room across the globe. In the 90s testing stage for high end electronics and gaming, Japan was the tech giant. This game says "Last Bronx" but it's more like "Neo Tokyo." It had to have been pretty revolutionary for the time, and yet it looks very much like some thing most of us western yuppies would turn away at.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Robocop, the series: Officer Missing *"Winter is coming".... Land of the Dead... The Purge.... A Christmas Carol (Well, maybe not that one), Robocop did it first.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Gong Show with Dave Attell: Season 1 Episode 8 *This show yips off into the sunset (cancelled, deservingly, I'm guessing) like a balloon animal dog from the sphincter of a sword swallower. It was riding a flaming pogo stick. The straw that broke the camel's back was heavy metal cookie monster or large man in diaper strip tease.* 2 stars

Robert Crumb: Despair *"You may not think it's funny, but I've got a morbid sense of humor."* close to 3 stars

"Power Instinct: Matrimelee" (Atlus) --Neo Geo-- *The creepy family members, from "Groove On Fight," are back. This time they're fighting it out, on a televised American Idol type stage, Jerry Springer style. The prize is a hand in marriage. Given its pedigree, and Japanese setting, it's weird as fuck, yet very surprisingly charming.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Kill Or Be Killed" (1980) *Our villain: an escaped Nazi seeking vague revenge by hosting a "Enter the Dragon" type death tournament. Our hero: a mullet-headed, shirtless, karate badass in a tight pair of bell-bottom jeans. He's out to save his girlfriend from the Nazi. Our wildcard: a Game of Thrones type scheming dwarf helping out our karate hero. Our story: pure grindhouse chop sockey cinema.* close to 3 stars

"Rabbit" (Sega Saturn) *Presentation of this game is nice. It reminds me of the new HD Rayman games' colorful eye candy and whimsy joined together with a clever Cartoon Network cartoon like Regular Show or Adventure Time. The fighters each have a beast or spirit animal. It reminds me of sports fanatics and their team mascots. If so many animals weren't endangered, sports fans would be worse than an old school Ruskie with a dancing bear. There would be a stadium full of Eagles fans each with their own personal bald eagle to show off. Dolphins fans would have a kids swimming pool, in the living room beneath the big screen, sporting a live dolphin who they'd feed anchovies off of their pizza to. Another thing about these fighting games, why are all the people in the background so unaffected by the brawls? They're always nicely eating a bowl of noodles in an outdoor cafe or riding a bicycle with a monkey or.....* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Waku Waku 7" (Sunsoft) -1996- *While watching lemmings hop around musically, on this game, I had an epiphany. Fellas we are never gonna get around to building those war robots out of our spare lawnmower and washing machine parts. Ladies, our obese house cats aren't gonna magically start talking and giving us humorous life advice to share on social media. Don't fret, we'll always have the Japanese to create our crazy dreams. That is unless a giant, radiated salamander, with a taste for human sushi, crawls up on the sands of some south Pacific beach.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Streets of Rage 3" (SEGA) *It's a typical beat 'em up story. The evil Mr. X is controlling the city with his band of street punks. Our heroes: Dr. Zan (the bald fu-manchu sporting head of a martial arts sensei badass on top of a cyborg body riding around on rocket skates), this ninja chick in a short minskirt, a blonde Ken Masters look-a-like kung fu street fighter, and a token 90s black kid who loves basketball so much he won't put down his b'ball. They have to battle through wave after wave of mercs and pick up turkey dinner power ups.* 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

Russian Terminator: *"that's what friends ARE! for" also an Anna Nicole look-a-like, a Kenny Rogers look-a-like, and a ninja.* 2 very awkward stars

Ninja Vengeance: *"Ninja" (a horrible one) John Tesh look-a-like on the run from the Klan in the backwoods of a hicksploitation town.* 1 1/2 stars

Never Too Young To Die: *Heart-throb John Stamos, sexy "Vanity" who's a Prince protege, and chick with a dick Gene Simmons is the rockstar who plays the over the top villain.* 2 stars

Red Letter Media ranks them best to worst as Russian T., Never Too Y., and Ninja V.*

---------------------------------

Freddy Krueger in "Mortal Kombat" (2011) *Freddy mocked the rising popularity of video games in "Freddy's Dead." Two decades later, he returns to the mockery. Released a couple years after the toothless remake, this tongueless appearance by Freddy is sorely missing Robert Englund's macabre wordplay.* 1 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Identity Crisis ----

*Jeff Conaway, and the sheriff from Friday the 13th: Part 6, give this episode a level of Tales from the Crypt "star power." The story is the 'Family Ties' zeitgeist of the its time period. The spirit of the 60s (hippies) versus the spirit of the 80s (yuppies).* close to 3 stars

*Teenage pound puppies. Emo pound puppies.* 1 1/2 stars for most of the episode 2 1/2 stars for the Freddy dreamhouse sequences

---------------------------

Forensic Files: Postal Mortem *Radioshack enthusiast who's a 'Hercules Bullseye Bomber' and master forger of Mormon historical documents.* 2 1/2 stars

Wizards and Warriors: Skies of Death *Doomsday cannon on the cliffs of doom.* 3 stars

Attack On Titan: Episode 2 *Giving a new meaning to "in your face." A term that I don't care for, but here it comes to represent humongous, naked, grinning humans stomping up in one's personal space to chow down on that person like a corndog. The emotions of the kids, and the dread of the situation for them, keeps everything from getting too out of hand as a spectacle.* 3 stars

The Cinema Snob: The Pierre Kirby Saga *A more-than-competent action badass from a handful of less-than-competent Hong Kong action exploitation "movies."* 3 stars for Snob's retrospect and close to 2 stars for the "movies"

Look Around You: Iron *Point point zero point, ring the bell and the experiment can begin within the twinkling of an eye that is hidden behind a metal face shackle.* 2 1/2 stars

VH1 Classics --- Pop Up Video --- (The Big 80's) -------

a-ha - "Take On Me": Few Americans stuck around to notice that this internationally popular Swedish band lasted long after their early 1980s one hit wonder and only broke up after the 1994 Winter Olypics in which they were featured European band.* 3 plus stars for the pop ups and 3 classic MTV stars for the original video

Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield": 30 year old Pat portrayed a 16 year old runaway "too controversial for MTV prostitute" in this video.* 3 plus stars with pop ups and close to 3 stars MTV classic without

John Cougar - "Jack & Diane": One guy lived in a coma for 37 years. He wasn't doing a lot of handclapping and air drumming like Johnny Cougar was doing in this video.* 3 stars with pop ups between 2 1/2 and 3 stars without

Lionel Richie - "Hello": Lionel loves for all of his video vixens to have the same hairstyle as he does.* 3 stars with pop ups 2 1/2 stars, cheesy stars, without pop ups

Van Halen - "Hot For Teacher": This unruly music video caused the child stars to eventually become unruly like the real life Van Halen.* 3 plus stars with pop ups 3 sleazy stars without pop ups

--------------------------

Viper: Mind Games *A sleeper saboteur, a vixen viper, and a truckload of disease.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Twisted Tales #10 ----------------- (Bruce Jones, Bernie Wrightson, Bill Wray, Rick Geary)

Beer: A story of ribbing greenhorns up where the tree-line ends and the green turns to white snowy mountains, and there be yeti's who drive a hard bargain and a sled.* 3 stars

One For The Money: A cat-burglar gets caught and commits murder. He assumes a bear-suit disguise and flees to the woods where he gets gunned down by hunters.* 2 1/2 stars

Hatchet Job: Scientists go back and time and bumble trying to solve the Lizzie Borden murders. ha.* 2 1/2 stars

Two For The Show: A retelling of the earlier cat-burglar tale. This time the party guest kills the intruder, then takes the jewels for himself. Instead of getting shot by a pair of hunters, he gets mauled by a mother grizzly bear. The irony.* close to 3 stars

A haggard man buys a bed from a used store for his sick daughter to rest on her deathbed as she gets out of the hospital. That night, he's visited by the ghost of a girl haunting the bed that died in it, years earlier, in a torn down orphanage fire.* 3 stars, I guess...

Poison in the Pantry: A miserable and mistreated wife and stepmother puts rat poison in the family's soup. She dreams of even better days, from behind bars.* 3 stars

-------------------------------

Hill Street Blues: Life. Death. Eternity... *Etcetera.* 3 stars

X Files: Tooms *Skinner, the Smoking Man, and one of the best "monster" villains ever on the show.* 3 stars

Twitch City: I'm Fat and I'm Proud *Every episode of every tv show ever on tape. And almost everything else a slacker could ever want, for all seasons, except love? And the ability to exit comfortably into society.* 3 stars

Real Pulp Comics #1 *Perverse and humorous tales of skid row lowlifestyle in the babyboom generation's peak.* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Neurostim *Football, Fast-Food, Fantasy. counter-Fucking-revolutionary.* 3 stars

Farscape: Nerve *Infiltrating a Peacekeeper base, and meeting the Peacekeeper's Darth Vader (Scorpius).* 3 stars

Look Around You: Brain *"Pretty smart for something that looks like a common garden cauliflower."* close 3 stars

Forensic Files: Micro Clues *Tiny communities of freshwater creatures ring out truth and justice from the lungs of a drowned boy of a Swiss village.* 2 stars

Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 10 *Call the doctor, call the nurse, these guys (King and Lars) are goofy and getting worse.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---Animal Planet--- I Was Bitten: The Walker County Incident *"Animal Planet, surprisingly human." Unsurprisingly stupid. Far more entertaining than the usual (Finding Bigfoot) cryptozoology reality tv whore idiots. Points for the twist ending prank gotcha moment.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

======= Trash TV ---- Seasons Finale ------ Marathon ===================

Forensic Files: Something's Fishy *The cyanide tainted Excederin pain reliever panic of the early 90s.* 2 1/2 stars

Forensic Files: Sealed With A Kiss *Psycho teacher stalks herself and then frames a rival faculty member.* close to 3 stars

Forensic Files: Deadly Parasites *Shit leaked into Lake Michigan contaminates the Milwaukee water supply and kills over a hundred people.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --- Murder House: Afterbirth *The "Murder House" is back on the market at a reduced prices. Also, ghosts can slit other ghosts' throats and they bleed ghost blood. Who knew? They even like to celebrate the season of giving (Christmas) with all the trimmings of the living.* either 1 star or 3 stars for a balls out finale

American Horror Story --- Asylum: Madness Ends *Lana Winters (the reporter from AHS: Asylum) is no Edison Carter (the reporter from Max Headroom). And so concludes this chapter of American Melodrama. Horror's end is supposed to be wrapped up in neat little bows of tenderness... EH? No? Ok.* 2 1/2 stars, I guess

American Horror Story --- Coven: Go To Hell *"I made you die those little deaths." Hell is a fried chicken shack. Ghosts need passports for travel. Who knew? Paula Deen isn't really sorry. She's just sorry that she was caught.* close to 3 stars

American Horror Story --- Coven: The Seven Wonders

*Welcome to the World Series of witchcraft. Let the Harry Potter games begin.

I especially got a chuckle out of the girls just wanna have fun teleportation game of tag that happened right after the hippie witch got stuck in her own personal "8th grade biology dissection of a frog" hell.

It would seem like black humor, but I think it's not meant to be. It's just poor writing.

Take for instance how the redheaded hag/nag says that the new supreme witch can't have a "Whitewater scandal" to be a blemish on her new leadership.

So, she demands to be burned alive in the most soap opera dramatic and laughable way possible to the Stevie Nicks music that's playing throughout the show (the show even begins like a Stevie Nicks music video. *rolls eyes*).

Since the new Coven is going public (kind of like a corporation joining the New York Stock exchange and opening all their books up, or whatever), one would think that committing an act of murder (the witch burning) might somehow leak out and be frowned upon eventually leading to scandal.  

Anyway, that aside, "The Axe Man" and "Fiona" carry the show with their charisma and moody moments together, as usual.

We get another feel good ending, for some reason, because that's horror, according to the producers of this show and the Fox musical GLEE.

Why are these guys pretending to do horror?

I did appreciate Fiona's return from the dead, before dying again (Ha), reminding me of Interview With A Vampire's scene where Tom Cruise crawls out of the swamp after being gatorbait left for dead by his gloomy boyfriend and porcelain doll daughter.

Also, in closing, Fiona's version of hell was quite fitting and moody compared to the pretentious and childish versions of hell for all the other characters.

For example; the annoying good teenager chick's hell beat out the annoying bad teenager chick's hell for level of awfulness.

And that was an accomplishment.

The bad chick's hell was being stuck on a Hollywood musical that she didn't like. *Snot*

The good chick's hell was having her James Dean wannabe boyfriend breaking up with her every day. *Vomit*

I guess hell is happening here on earth for every emo 16 year old all the time.

I have already wasted too many words on most of this pile stinky fish guts.*

running from around 1 1/2 stars a lot of the time up to 2 1/2 stars at different moments

==========================================================================

"Sacred Cow Halloween Special" circa 1993 (All Hallow's Eve? Why not? It's June) *Early 1990s public access tv special featuring a lot of low-fi indie music videos from bands who don't give a shit and live call in guests to the hosts and Bill Hicks in hell. Plus the legend, Bill Hicks, pulls out the home video footage of where he stood in the neighboring cow pasture, and ranted about the government, while Janet Reno rolled tanks with flamethrowers through the walls of a crazy cult so that they could charbroil children. Yep, have a happy trick r' Summer treat and roast in the heat.* more than 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Belief" =================================

*Early 90s Nickelodeon took time to educate kids, where modern Nick tries to sell them tweeny bopper pop star insipid kid sitcoms.

Stories here include:

The City of the Dead that lies beneath Paris.

History lesson about how the Greeks burned half the Roman, enemy, fleet using solar energized shields.

Sadly poetic tale of The Elephant Man and his time in a London hospital.

Important message about conservation and protecting endangered animals. "Don't cut down the rainforest." Man, I have fond memories of "earth friendly" science lessons during my childhood school years. A really hopeful, positive time.

We visit the Cabaret Mechanical Theater featuring robotic dolls & toys (creepy and cool).

Some funny laws, around the world, are discussed like the illegal carrying of ice cream cones in your pocket in Kentucky and so on.

Cursed opera causes God to smite anyone the opera singer looks at while singing, "Oh, God smash him!"

We meet a 17 year old autistic genius artist who can draw any London monument or building. Autism was still misunderstood, greatly, during this time.

A visit to an old magician's backyard where he displays to us a new, old trick.

Finally, it's a history lesson about Westerners reluctance at first and then being sold on the idea and practice of embalming the corpses of their loved ones for funeral display.

Great stuff.

-Classic commercials include:

Scram Ball, "the hot new game."

Bubble tape, the bubble gum that's hard for grandma to eat.

Murray mountain bikes are so rugged that they can help a 10 year old outrun his 16 year old bro's pickup truck on rocky terrain.

A Fresh Prince of Bel'Air kid is tired of being told "no" so he eats Raisin Bran for some reason....

A gang of 90s tv kids have a video cam corder scavenger hunt thanks to McDonalds.*

close to 3 stars

=======================================================

Police Squad: A Substantial Gift (WLS7-Chicago) 3 - 4 - 1982 =============

*First we get a commercial for a home electronics and appliance store. Man, the 70s and early 80s had such an ugly color decor thing going on. Putrid greens, tans, yellows, and dingy greys going on everything from fridges to stoves to dishwashers to carpet to vaccuumcleaners. Some nice pics of walls of the very popular, at the time, ghetto blaster boom boxes (nice).

 "Blast From The Past," Saturday at 6:30 featuring a dapper dude brushing his wavy hair and a go go chick hula hooping. The 80s were really nostalgic for the 50s.

And, now with a flashing red siren we're told we'll be watching Police Squad "In Color."  The show starts out with a woman who's being stuck for cash by a crooked orthodonist. Ha. She kills her loan clerk boyfriend and frames a poor sap trying to get the loan in a double homicide.

A hazy looking Loren cosmetics commercial

followed by a movie trailer for the insipid Oscar bait movie "On Golden Pond."

Leslie Nielsen shows up to the crime, knocking over trash cans with his cop car. Funny sight gag of the meat wagon boys taking out an extra, extra long body on an extra, extra long stretcher. They find a way to work in the old type "Who's on first!?" joke to her formal statement of the crime.

The forensic lab guy is a wacko.

A visit to the victim's wife, and Nielsen rambles on about himself (ha) during her grief.

The killer dame shows up to give her official statement looking like an obvious fink in a new fur coat and feathered boa.

We get a funny scene where one cop's so tall his head is off camera.

"Crisp and clean" "No Caffeine" "Never had it, never will." "Feelin' up with 7 'Up."

A pretty model girl walks around fields of amber grains waving while sporting a "Cover Girl Face."

 Benson & Open All Night are part of the ABC Friday Night line up.

Lieutenant Nielsen re-enacts the crime by actually shoothing his fellow officers, leaving a pile of bodies while he ponders the crime. Ha.

Cops and Priests (What do you know about life after death? *hands over a 20$*) seek confidential information from a shoe shine man.

Medieval orthodontist gear is highlighted via willingly happy kids wearing headgear. Leslie does some dental exam physical comedy.

Some oblivious cops sight gags in an elevator. Clever stuff.

Showdown with the dirty dame featuring bad wigs and a bullet filled Mexican standoff from a couple feet away from each other behind trash cans and a sidewalk bus bench. Bullhorn "Give it up!" warning from just as close a length.

New Aim mint is the talk of the whiteboy locker room..

Sexy as heck, and wet in a pool, Lynda Carter likes her lips "wet." Mmmmmm

Stay Tuned for Bossom Budies and "Night of 100 Stars"

Old school, syndicated television. Can't beat it.*

3 stars

=========================================================================

MTV's Ridiculousness with special guest Dr. Drew Pinsky *Normally this poor kid's America's Funniest Home Videos for skateboard wiggers, hosted by a skateboard wigger & his black friend & his airheaded blonde friend, would get zero stars for its unfunny commentary on outdated extreme sports accident videos and mishap/ prank videos.... but since quack pop-psychiatry tv celebrity "doctor" Drew is on here and giving insight into the social problems many of these fools, in these foolish videos, do happen to supposedly have... Well, it's more absurd and tolerable.* close to 2 stars

"Five Fingers Of Death" *It's the formula tale of bullies terrorizing a town, and the heroes finally standing up to them. It could be a western, an 80s surfing/ski resort movie, but here it's a Shaw brothers kung fu flick. Many hipsters will recognize the Kill Bill music that Tarantino stole from this film.* 3 stars

Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour --2002-- *Tom Green will probably always be infamous for the terrible "Freddy Got Fingered," and he deserves it. This hour long MTV special featuring Tom being the weirdest Westerner possibly ever in Japan is way better than that awful Hollywood mistake of a "movie." In fact, it's a dozen times more interesting than the Jackass movies that borrow the skit after skit format of this special. Add an extra thirty minutes of footage from this trip to Japan, which I'm sure they had, and it would have been a better choice to be released in movie theaters instead of "Freddy Got Fingered."* close to 3 stars

Tales From The Crypt: Lover Come Hack To Me *Car trouble on a desolate road on the honeymoon night. The couple seeks shelter in an old-dark-house. There's a cozy fireplace with a big, medieval axe hanging above it. A storm is raging outside. The bride is a strange, little virgin. The groom is a sleazy bohunk acting surprised to have found a 45 magnum in his glove box. She wonders if he married her for the money (no surprise, he did). Bloody memories haunt the place same as their "romance." It's the perfect setting for mur-der (*Thunder & Lightning!*)...* 3 stars

Six Feet Under: The Will *Diving board death. Pyramid scheme. Backstreet Boy look-a-like douchey boyfriend. Meeting of gay firemen. Breaking up with Ed Begley Jr. Blackmail from beyond the grave. Selling a slightly used coffin at a discount rate. Burning someone's name into your flesh. Buyout offer. Emotional breakdown on the bus that killed the father. Toe suck.* close to 3 stars

100 Bullets: The Counterfifth Detective (Vertigo Comics) *Piano bar without a piano player. A private dick wrapped up like the Invisible Man. Stolen art with codes from one's past. A damaging echo.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Justified: Season 1 Episode 5 *The cowboy's pa is an outlaw.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Resurrector *Going away presents for a ghost and a sacrifice to the devil.* close to 3 stars

Kung Fu: Nine Lives *"Find a cat or be a tramp all your life." "Dark and vain are the ways of lust, the poet said." or something of that nature...* 3 stars

"Master of the Flying Guillotine" *A bloody martial arts tournament, where every fighter has a unique gimmick or style, is interrupted by a badass villain using his flying guillotine to pull the heads off of every one armed boxer that he finds until he gets his revenge. He finds out that he's not as badass as the real one armed boxer. This flick had to have had a huge influence on both Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat.* 3 stars

Doctor Who: The Satan Pit *A claustrophobic, high stakes sci fi story similar to The Thing, Leviathan, and Alien.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Horror Express" (Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing) *It's about time, some cryptozoology monster goodness. Finding Bigfoot type nonsense has almost killed the fun in this fantasy genre. It helps that this movie is Hammer horror style and has Lovecraftian-dread overtones.* 3 stars

Gerhard's America: Gerhard at NASCAR *Gerhard finds he has a lot in common with effeminate racer Michael Waltrip.* close to 2 1/2 stars

------ TV Carnage:

*A Lot Of Men Collect Barbie Dolls: "It's a professional hobby, now." Nothing weird, at all here.* 2 stars

*A Woman's Guide To Guns and Hallucinating: Learn about your weapon, instead of fantasizing about it.* close to 2 stars

*Aids = Hump Day Poison!: The 80s were all about high risk behavior.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Child Actor Failures: Are you being rigid enough or in some cases too rigid with your little gold-mine?* close to 3 stars

*Damn Shame: It's a shame that white boy thugs get gunned down every day. Call America's Most Wanted or Yo! MTV Raps with any info on the possible killer.* 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Big Trouble In Little China

*Joe Bob pokes fun at the culture of addiction.

We learn about Carter Wong, the martial arts expert who stars in the movie. Amazing credits to his kung fu game.

Preview for TNT's new classic "The Golden Child" starring Eddie Murphy

quirky KIA suv car commercial from 1998 featuring cliche gator hunting / swamp loving Cajuns who'd be the type in reality shows more than a decade later. It's funny here, sort of, but tiresome if you live in this era of bad reality tv "real folk" like this.

preview for Jacki Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" and its American cable tv debut on TNT

a yuppy mom tries to stuff a pizza into her toaster, but doesn't have to anymore because some processed junk food company invented toaster pizza snacks. "White lady/mom problems"

Kim Cattral is gorgeous, in this movie, and not an old whore who'd make you swear off women like she would after her Sex in the City days

SNL's Weekend Update anchor Kevin Nealon sells out for a collect call "so 90s it hurts" advertisement. One good thing about cell phones is that these ads disappeared

Joe Bob's Drive In Totals for this flick: 57 dead bodies... One kidnapping... Four motor vehicle chases... One wheelchair chase... One White-Slavery Ring... Yellow-Slavery Ring... One Machine Gun Massacre... One Machete Battle... Multiple Blue Finger-Flame... One Zombie-fied Levitating 2,000-Year-Old Man With Really Bad Fingernails... Exploding Building...Exploding Temple... Knife To The Forehead... One Ocean of Chained Skeletons... One Palace Of Golden Buddhas... Poison Gas... Nine Kung Fu Scenes...

Racquelle Welch in One Million BC, another drive in classic, next week on Monstervision

Some Hollywood stunt-men cowboys beat the shit out of each other for a Pontiac "Montana" minivan. Sure, why not?

Soulful 70s singer-songwriter Aflac family insurance ad, family station wagon Tru Value helpful employee kidnapping ad, Home Depot helpful employees..., some bruthas turn a stranger's need for directions into a roadtrip down the road for some McDonalds.... 90s commercials tried to be really feel good, but come off very insipid

"Tired of Phony Psychics?" Generic graphics of lightning strikes and huge yellow background typed letters plus a doe eyed weirdo lady claiming to have certified psychics for her phone network.... "Guaranteed Authentic by the U.S. Govt." HAAAA.... wow! what a claim!

Joe Bob pines about how there aren't perfect women in the world, and how guys give up women over nail color, comparing it to the plot of the movie being about the search for a perfect, green eyed Chinese chick

Then, Joe Bob skewers the politically correct critics, of this movie, who said that Big Trouble re-enforced Asian stereotypes.

Kitschy style Miller Lite commercial where four old ladies try to contact the spirit of one lady's dead husband. He's a slab, of course, and comes back to life, possessing the body of one of her friends, raiding the fridge for beer and scratching his (her) ass. She's overjoyed.

Kellog's Breakfast Mates... A commercial that's basically saying, "Let corporate America continue to "raise" your children." It's convenient.

Joe Bob teaches us about Kurt Russell's ties to Elvis and Disney and John Carpenter

TNT updates its Monstervision website "once a week." Current people and websites, of the internet(s), update every second of the day. Waiting a week for something new is almost as painful as the information (nonsense) overload of right now.

Dennis Miller is in line at a hipster coffe shop complaining about the price of "a cup of Joe" and the price of collect calls. If he sounds like a cranky and out of touch old man here, wait til a decade later where he's rambling incoherently to his best pal Mr.Bill O'Reilly on Fox News.

Two 90s alterna-chicks having a conversation: "One day we'll meet, marry, and have cyber sex with the man of our dreams online." Robert Englud cameo in Dee Snider's Strangeland

Joe Bob points out that there's a "not so incognito" Penthouse Pet in this flick

TNT Mail Girl Reno gets asked to how much it would take to "get nekkid" by Joe Bob, and then he reads an angry letter from an upset liberal who loves freedom so much that he wants to ban free speech that he doesn't like by calling it "hatred." Ha. Joe Bob made a joke about "killing liberals" or something and this guy got his feelings hurt. Boo hoo.

Joe Bob rips TNT a new asshole for taking an awful commercial break, featuring about 14 insipid 90s "feel good" commercials, during the EPIC kung fu finale. Being on TNT, and not too late in the night unlike TNT's 100% Weird, Monstervision suffered some really lame commercials. USA UP All Night usually had more lame B movies instead of good B movies, yet they featured a lot more entertaining and sleazy commercials compared to Monstervision Other, late night basic cable and UHF B movies had better commercials than TNT as well. Fucking TNT. So schmaltzy and sickening. You watch a weird, late night movie, you want weird late night commercials, and you want them not to interrupt the best part of the movie. You don't want a great kung fu scene stopped to have five minutes of sepia toned artsy cinematography of elderly couples slow dancing in the shadow of the Brooklyn bridge while romantic piano music plays and there's a warm feeling about life insurance or some crap.

Roll Credits.*

3 stars for Big Trouble (For fun and memorable characters, it's to the 80s what A New Hope was to the 70s) 3 stars for Joe Bob and 1 star for TNT's bullstuff

---------------------------------------------------------------------

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Caught In The Web, Staying Safe in Cyberspace: Surfin' with a cyber sleuth and stopping smut and sickos both online and in the real world. If any of this is actually real.* close to 3 stars

*Check It Out _ Acne Video: "Hip" teen talk show infomercial about bogus zits.* 2 1/2 stars

*Chef Keith _ Fake Chef Pranks Morning TV Shows: You can make one of those creepy smiling talking head news morning show hosts believe that "The average person eats around a pound and a half of feces a year." HA! Most of the feces comes from morning talks shows.* 3 stars

*Christian Rock Video Showdown: We're all a wiener slash loser with these bands that are a even more soft rock cross between Journey, Foreigner, Kenny Loggins, and a hairy butt.* close to 3 stars

*John and Johnny and Earrings: Homeshopping host is giddy about seashell earrings.* close to 2 stars

--------------------------------

Fargo: The Six Ungraspables *There are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast... lunch.. and dinner.* 3 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Gerhard Reinke in Burlington, Vermont *Home of laidback liberals and Lochness lizards.* 2 1/2 stars

Vanity Fair, Confidential: Mad About the Boys *Lou Pearlman loved to hear singing from voices that hadn't yet gone through puberty. He also loved hot air balloons and ponzi schemes. No surprise that the super-rich sponsor of a creepy cult of child entertainers was not-so-secretly a pig-man spawn of Satan himself.* 2 1/2 stars

X Files: Born Again *Mustache'd cop working Chinatown. He gets killed by some shady colleagues. Years later, he returns as a very gloomy little-girl with special powers and vengeance on her(his) mind.* close to 3 stars

The Prisoner: Checkmate *On a wing and a prayer and unfortunately an air of authority.* 3 stars

----- TV Carnage:

*Dr. Drew and MTV Got Cold Feet: Could be worse. Could be dead like Corey Haim and his girlfriend. Killed by Brigette Nielsen, Stallone and Flava Flav's ex.* close to 2 stars

*TV Carnage: Dixie Carter Death Trip: Designing women to be strangely obnoxious.* 2 stars

*Even His Scream Is Bad Acting: Bohunk (Dumb goodlooking American guy. Not the dictionary definition which insults someone from Europe.) slasher victim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Give Head Responsibly: Consult your doctor before giving or receiving.* 2 1/2 stars

*God Gives A Second Chance To Anyone. It's In His Book: Especially to those with a Pat Boone singing style and a new book coming out about second chances.* close to 2 1/2 stars

-----------------------------------------

Hannibal: Sorbet *Hannibal has a stalker/fan/wannabe BFF who compares him to Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, Hannibal keeps recipes of people on their business cards.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Look Around You: Music (season 2) *The show's format has completely changed to an in studio info / variety presentation, and while it's no longer the mock science docu-series that it started out as, it's still silly and clever. Plus, it's longer at a half hour.* 2 1/2 stars

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 9 *This show is good and shockingly heavy, as usual, but I watch it in a way that would more than frustrate diehard fans. I'm seasons behind where everyone else is, and I have no concern as to when I see the next chapter.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Executioners from Shaolin *At the heart of this movie is a dysfunctional kung fu family. On the wedding night, the groom can't get the bride's legs open because her crane style is too strong. Mother teaches son crane style kung fu and they playfully use it even when she's trying to wash the family's clothes. Dad can't even sit down to a good meal, because son wants to test dad's tiger style kung fu.* 3 stars

[cirgaydian-rhythm]

I’m intentionally finding all the bitchy reviews of ACPC because a) it’s absurdly easy to find them, and b) the entitlement just drips off the page

“ohhhhh Nintendo wants you to part with your REAL MONEY!”

Yes. It’s a free-to-play game. ALL f2p games have a premium currency available via Real Money. If you think ACPC is obnoxious about it, you clearly haven’t played too many f2p games, because hey - they give you AMPLE opportunities to build up premium currency without spending a dime. I managed to save up for the two special items in a week, and that was after purchasing the other two crafting slots, and I already have 128 Leaf Tickets built up again, none of them purchased with real money. You know why? Because I’m fucking patient. Because I’m not some entitled asshole who apparently forgot that the original AC game made you wait a whole fucking day for fossils to be examined, or three days to get some damn fruit, or forced you to have Actual Real Friends who were just as much of a loser as you were in order to get different fruit. (I mean, you could get around this with time-skip cheats and multiple memory cards, but that wasn’t the intention of the mechanics.)

“the campers are SO DEMANDING!!!”

Newsflash, asshole! THEY’VE ALWAYS BEEN DEMANDING. “Sell me that item you’re holding! If you don’t, I’LL CRY.” “You should buy things from me! Oh, you don’t want to? I’ll just act sad over here, totally not trying to guilt-trip you.” “Hey, we’re buds, right? Get me this thing!” “Oh, you’re looking for that thing? Get me this other thing and I’ll give this to you.” The animals have always been, and forever will be, demanding little fucks. They’re actually less demanding in ACPC than the original AC - not only do you know exactly what they want and where you can get it, but the rewards they give are directly beneficial to you. They’re not trying to steal that cool furniture you found in a tree, or laughing at your bee-stung face, or making snide comments about your clothes... Yeah, they want you to have particular items at your campsite, because they want to know that you accept their tastes and are willing to work to make your campsite someplace awesome and special for them. Hell, they’re so excited to be at your campsite that they’ll often just straight-up give you Bells or mats just because they appreciate your hard work.

“ugh! it’s just SO BORING! there’s NOTHING to do!”

It’s...a phone game. And not only is it a phone game, but it’s a free phone game that was just launched. Nintendo is still testing the waters with this, seeing how to balance everything. And I admit to being a huge fucking nerd, but for a game with “nothing to do,” I’ve managed to piss away quite a few hours with it. For somebody who often doesn’t have a lot of time to drop on games at once, and lacks the kind of lifestyle required for PGO, ACPC is delivering fairly well on being an “idle game” that doesn’t actually completely roadblock you if you’re too active.

“it’s so GRINDY”

and...the other AC games aren’t? I don’t remember how many hours I spent and tricks I utilized to harvest enough Bells to pay off Nook/expand buildings/build upgrades/purchase shit... But I do know that both the original AC and ACNL got to a point where it felt like all I was doing was trying to harvest Bells 24/7 just to piss it all away on something else. At least ACPC gives me a clear goal: do the favors, get the mats, build the furniture, invite the campers, level up, get more campers, etc etc etc. And yes, there’s a cap right now, and maybe I’ll get bored by then, but right now? Nah. Bruh, you don’t know grindy until you attempt Shao-hao rep on WoW. Yikes.