#she doesn’t want to see the gays /j

[serrennedyanonwriter]

I NEED YOU TO MAKE LEON AND LUIS KISS

Okay.

[unfinishedslurs]

gay bar (steddie)

“Well, well, well,” says a voice from behind. “Steeeeeeve Harrington. I must be dreaming.”

Steve turns around to see a guy, dressed in black and chains. Rings decorating his fingers, studs in his ears, curly hair pulled back in a ponytail. He’s hot, yeah, but something about him has Steve squinting, trying to figure out why he looks so familiar. 

“I know you from somewhere,” he says, pointing out the obvious. The guy knows his name.

The not-a-stranger snorts. “Of course you don’t remember me. Why would the likes of King Steve stoop to—“

As soon as the nickname leaves his mouth, Steve’s brain lights up. “Munson!” He exclaims, snapping his fingers. “You used to climb on the lunch tables to give speeches.”

It was so obnoxious, too. The kind of thing that had him and Robin reminiscing late at night, celebrating some of the weirder shit about Hawkins that didn’t come from monsters, or Russians, or government conspiracy. Remember that one asshole? Yeah, he stepped on my lunch one time!

Condolences to Robin’s pb&j. She never sat at that table again.

Munson’s whole face turns pink. “Seriously? That’s what you remember?”

“It was pretty fucking memorable, dude. Like, gross, doesn’t this guy know not to put his feet where people eat? Dustin thought you were so cool for it too. I had to nip that in the bud before he started imitating you or some shit.”

“Oh,” he says, voice gone flat. “Because God forbid some poor kid try to immolate the freak.”

Steve gives him his bitchiest, most deadpan stare. “Feet,” he says slowly. “Nasty, fifteen year old boy feet. On my kitchen table. He almost slipped and cracked his skull, and I would have sent you the hospital bill.”

He had to get creative to make him stop, too. Stood there, hands on his hips, and made Dustin tell him exactly how many germs he thought were on his shoes. Then when he tried to do it barefoot, decided the only course of action was to stuff Dustin’s abandoned sock in his mouth and ask if he wanted that shit with every meal. Erica still has the photos. 

Munson has the decency to look embarrassed, face flooding an even brighter red that wouldn’t be out of place in a tomato patch. “What are you even doing here, Harrington?”

What does he think Steve’s doing here? It’s a fucking gay bar, it’s pretty self explanatory. “My friend is here somewhere,” he says, waving out at the crowd of people. “She’s going through a dry spell, so…”

“Right,” Munson says. Steve squints at him. Does he look disappointed?

Eh. Doesn’t matter. 

“You gave my kids the best freshman year of their nerdy little lives,” he tells him, because he knows Dustin would want him to. Plus, the guy was Mike’s gay awakening. He should probably get some credit. “So thanks for that.”

He lights up. “Yeah! How was Hellfire in my absence?”

“I had to hear them bitch and moan for months about how it ‘wasn’t the same,’ but it’s doing pretty all right. Erica Sinclair is running it now.”

“Erica Sinclair…” Munson mutters, snapping his fingers. “Lucas Sinclair’s little sister? Lady Applejack?” He beams when Steve nods. “She kicked ass. Best finish to a campaign my entire high school career. How’s Lucas, anyway? And the rest of the runts.”

“He’s doing great,” Steve says. “College basketball at Yale. Pretty sure he’s dying under the workload, but that’s what you get for majoring in physics. Dustin’s at MIT, and Mike’s taking a gap year.”

He whistles lowly. “Yeesh, I don’t blame him. How about Byers?”

“Which one?”

“Zombie boy.” Steve’s hackles raise, but Munson just grins. “God, that nickname was badass.”

“How do you even know about that?”

Munson taps the side of his nose. “A magician never reveals his secrets. Besides, all it took for you to remember me was calling you by your high school nickname.”

“That wasn’t my nickname.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Literally three people ever actually called me that, and you were one of them.”

He has a feeling it was Tommy who started it, bitter and vicious. Told himself Steve was self possessed, high and mighty, above it all. That’s why he left his old friends behind. Not because he was in love, or because he wanted to be better. No, King Steve just sits alone in his castle, looking down on the peasants with contempt. 

Billy must have taken his angry ramblings and run with them. After all, what better way to get a start in a new town than declaring yourself royalty? Never mind that Steve hadn’t cared about anything like that for almost a year by then. 

Munson had just been a drama-loving asshole. 

“That can’t be right.”

“I stopped being popular in junior year. Why the hell would anyone call a sophomore King?” Steve points out. 

“You were Prom King.”

“Again, in junior year. Pickings were slim. Who else would it have been? Tommy?” He has to laugh. 

Luckily, Munson takes the hint and swerves the conversation into new territory. “You know, I always figured you’d be homophobic.”

Steve snorts. “What, and get kicked out for nothing?”

Munson stares at him, and Steve furrows his brow, looking into his glass like it will have the answer to why the hell he said that to this guy he barely knows. He just decided he wasn’t going to spill all his daddy issues to a near-stranger in a dingy bar, dammit. Is he already on his fifth drink?

Actually, this might be his sixth. That tracks. 

“What?”

“My dad caught me kissing a boy,” he says. If he’s going to give Munson his life story, he might as well commit. “Can you believe that boy ruined my life in three different ways? Two of them didn’t even have anything to do with the gay thing.” 

Maybe four ways, if you accounted for the way he broke his goddamn heart, but everyone and their mother saw that coming a mile away. Even Steve. Especially Steve. 

No offense to Jonathan. None of those things were really his fault. Or actually life ruining, but it sure fucking felt like it at the time. 

He should give him a call soon, actually, see how he and Argyle are doing. He misses the guy. Maybe he and Robin should save up for a visit to Cali. Get Nancy on it. They could see San Francisco while they were there, that’d be cool. Apparently it was the queer capital of the country. 

He’s thinking about asking the bartender for a napkin and a pen to write down the plans he’s forming when Munson speaks up again. Steve honestly forgot he was here. 

“I thought you said you were here for a friend.”

What?” Steve blinks, confused, and then catches on. “Yeah, to get her laid. I’m not in the mood right now.”

Munson cocks an eyebrow. “Wearing that? Could’ve fooled me.”

Steve looks down at his Springsteen T-Shirt that Robin cropped, and picks at the frayed hem of his shorts. Okay, yeah, they’re on the skimpy side, but in his defense it’s summer and even if he’s not cruising Steve likes being looked at. “Yeah, yeah. What about you? Here for anything in particular?”

“Just to talk to some pretty boys,” Munson says, leaning on the bar to flag down the bartender. Steve smirks, reaching out a hand to tug at the hanky in his back pocket. Pinned, damn. 

Munson whirls around, a flush starting to crawl onto his ears. 

“Wearing that?” Steve echos snarkily. “Could’ve fooled me.”

He swears that for a minute Munson’s eyes darken. 

He’s almost tempted to follow through, high school reputation be damned, when someone crashes into his side and nearly sends him careening. 

“Steeeeeve,” Robin yells happily into his ear. “This is Bernie, she’s gonna take me home, see you la—oh, hi!” She says, noticing Munson. “I know you from somewhere.”

“Eddie Munson,” Munson greets. “Steve and I went to high school together.”

“Munson! That’s it, you climbed on tables and had shit music. I’m Robin. Okay, I’ll call the apartment and leave a message when we get there. Bernie’s waiting on me, it’s-nice-to-meet-you-bye!” Just like that, she’s gone. 

Munson’s mouth has dropped open. “You told her I had shit music?” He demands. “Wait, you talked about me?”

“She went to school with us, dumbass,” he says, as if he can talk. He still barely remembers her as more than a vague, glowering figure in his peripheral. “It’s not my fault you blasted your screamy music for everyone in the parking lot. Such a fucking headache, God.”

Munson turns his nose up. “Sorry for having offended your jock sensibilities.”

“Oh, I don’t play anymore,” he says, and knocks on his head. “Concussions, yanno. Apparently brain damage will fuck you up. Who knew?”

“What, like the fight you had with Byers? He did you that bad?”

“He did me just fine,” Steve blurts out, before he can stop himself. Munson chokes. “Shit, sorry, I’m kind of a horny drunk.” Weird thing to say, Steve. “Also, I cannot stress enough how much I needed to be punched in the face. It was a monumental moment for me, you know. Started me on the path for changing my entire worldview. Plus, he was my first guy crush.” He swirls his empty glass, lost in thought, before brightening up. “I should call him!”

Munson is staring at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish. 

“What?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Well, yeah. Duh.”

“I should probably stop you from booty-calling the guy who punched you in the face.”

Steve wrinkles his nose. “It wouldn’t be a booty-call,” he says. “He and Argyle are happy together, man. I’m not gonna ruin that.”

“Oh, so you’d call him because…”

“I call him all the time,” Steve says, confused as to why this is such a big deal. “We’re friends.”

“Jonathan!” He yells happily into the pay phone. Munson is standing to the side, looking on in annoyance. Whatever, it’s not like Steve asked him to do this. “Jonathan, man, how are you?”

“…Steve?”

“Yeah!”

“It’s like…” he hears something clatter in the background, like Jonathan is looking for something, “two in the morning there. You okay?”

“I’m doing great!” He exclaims. “How about you? It’s been ages, man, I miss you.”

“This is so fucking weird,” Munson whispers behind him. Steve ignores him. 

“Are you drunk?”

“No,” he says. “Well, maybe a little. Do you not miss me too?” He pouts, and Jonathan sighs loud enough he hears it over the phone. 

“I just talked to you yesterday.”

Steve frowns. “Yesterday? That can’t be right, it’s been, like, forever. Oh, hey, have you heard from Nance lately? How’s your mom? I love your mom, she’s so fucking cool. Does she know I think she’s cool? How’s Will? It’s been so long, is he taller than me yet? How’s Argyle doing with his degree? I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too, Steve.”

“Awww, Byers, getting soppy on me? Gross, man.”

“You literally just—yeah, okay. Are you alone?”

“Nah, I’ve got this guy with me, he’s walking me home. Oh! Dude, do you remember Munson?”

“Munson?”

“Yeah, Eddie Munson! From high school! The one who used to climb on tables and shit, remember him?”

“Jesus Christ,” Munson groans. “Please let that die.”

“No one is dying,” Steve informs him seriously, and turns back to the phone. Munson sighs. 

“Wasn’t he a drug dealer?”

“Yes! Yeah, drug dealer Munson! Did you ever buy from him?” He turns to where Munson is looking around furtively. “Did Jonathan ever buy from you?”

“How about we not talk about this here,” Munson says through gritted teeth. Steve sighs and turns back to the phone. 

“Never mind, he says he doesn’t want to talk about that. Not like we can judge him, but whatever. Maybe the guy’s turned into a prude—“

“Okay, give me that.” Munson wrestles the phone out of his hand, and Steve whines at him. “Hey, Byers,” Munson says. “Yeah, it’s Eddie. Or Munson. Whatever. Listen, I’m getting kind of sick of standing here watching Harrington slobber all over the receiver, can he call you tomorrow? What? No, I don’t sell anymore—yeah, total bummer, whatever. Listen, I’ll get him home safe—no, I’m not going to serial murder him. He’s gonna be fine, he’ll call you tomorrow—Nancy Wheeler? Like that girl he dated? Didn’t you—shoot me? Jesus, okay! I’m not gonna kill the guy, Christ. He’s gonna be fine, oh my God. He’ll call you tomorrow. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, okay. Bye.” He slams the phone into its holder with more than a little contempt. 

“Hey!” Steve protests. “You didn’t let me say bye.”

“You can call him tomorrow and apologize,” Munson says. “Now c’mon, Harrington. I’ve been tasked with getting you home safe, and if I fail, apparently Nancy fucking Wheeler is going to shoot me in the balls.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s really hot when she does that,” Steve says fondly, and Munson splutters. 

“What, does Wheeler just go around shooting people? Does she even have a gun?”

“Of course Nancy has a gun.” Steve frowns. It was one of the sure things in the universe at this point. The sky is blue, Hawkins is fucked up, and Nancy Wheeler has a gun. “And she doesn’t shoot people, stupid. Well, she shot at Billy, but he deserved it.”

“Billy?” Munson mutters, starting to usher Steve in the direction of home. “Who the fuck is Billy?”

“He was trying to kill her first!” Steve defends. “I hit him with a car before he could, so she was okay.”

“Okay, yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t you hit some guy with a car? 

“It wasn’t some guy,” Steve says. “It was Billy. He was, like, possessed or some shit. Oh, and he beat me up. Total psycho.  And that was before the melted flesh monster.”

Munson stops and stares at him. “You know what, sure. Demonic possession. Yeah, okay. Some guy named Billy kicked your ass—wait, are you talking about Billy Hargrove?”

Steve lights up. “Yeah! You remember that? That’s one of the concussions I was talking about. I gotta wear glasses 'cuza that shit. Man, fuck that guy.”

“Didn’t he die?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve frowns down at the ground. “Shit, I’m, like, speaking ill of the dead, aren’t I? Max wouldn't like that. Unfuck him, or whatever.”

“You wanna come up?” He asks. “For old times sake?”

Munson stares at him like it’s the craziest thing he’s said all evening. “‘Old times’ was your asshole friends calling me a satan worshiper and pushing me around in hallways, Harrington.”

“I know.” He grins. If he was sober he’d definitely feel worse about that, but as it is he’s pretty single minded. “Don't you kind of want to make me cry about it?”

Deer in headlights isn’t usually a good look, but Munson’s got the eyes to make it work. Or Steve is drunk. Either way, it’s kinda cute. 

“You’re drunk,” he finally says, stumbling over the words a little. If Steve pays close attention and ignores most of reality, it almost sounds like he’s trying to convince both of them. “You’re so incredibly drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk.” He totally is. 

“I just had to supervise you calling Jonathan Byers so you didn’t say something you’d regret in the morning.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asks, offended. “I love Jonathan! I tell him all the time. Just because I said he ruined my life—“

“That was him?”

“Did I not say that? Huh. Whatever. Point is, I’m not that drunk.”

“You’re definitely drunk,” Munson says. “I’m not—yeah, no. I’m not coming up.”

“Damn.” Steve shrugs, not too put out about it. It’s a bummer, sure, but he handles rejection like a champ. Just ask Robin. “Worth a shot. See you ‘round, Munson.”

“Don’t kill me,” Steve says. 

“Oh, god, did you punch him?”

“No, I, uh.” Steve rubs the bridge of his nose. “I think I tried to fuck him.”

He has to hold the phone away from his face so Dustin’s screeching doesn’t break his eardrums. 

“Your exes are weirdly protective of you,” Munson says blandly. “Also, didn’t they date?”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs, not exactly eager to start spilling his life story again now that he’s sober. Munson doesn’t need to know more about his dating history than he already does. “We’re all a little weird about each other, sorry.”

“Weird about your exes,” he hums. “No wonder you’re single.”

“Oh, fuck you. It’s not like that.”

He raises an eyebrow. “No?”

“Are you always this nosy?” Steve asks, a little waspish. 

“Absolutely,” Munson replies without hesitation. “I’d say sorry, but I’m not. When did you even date him?”

“Dude.”

Munson just cocks an expectant eyebrow, hip resting against the bar. He can’t imagine why someone would be so interested in the romantic lives of their old high school classmates. It’s not like Steve is about to ask what was going on between him and Chrissy Cunningham. 

“Well, Harrington?”

“First grade,” Steve answers, deadpan. He grins when Munson chokes. “Nah, it was actually after he and Nancy broke up. Fall of ‘86.”

Arms squeeze him from behind, and Robin slides into view, leaving one hand wrapped pointedly around Steve’s waist. She gets clingy when she thinks someone is bothering him, or when she’s just on the side of drunk that she gets possessive. She told him, embarrassed and hungover, that it’s because she registers someone he’s getting along with as infringing on “her Steve time.” Steve thinks it’s hilarious and kind of sweet, an obvious lesbian trying to pretend he’s her date. Especially because he gets the same way when he’s tipsy and feels like he doesn’t have enough of her attention, so she can't yell at him for being a cockblock. Cuntblock. Whatever the lesbians call it.

He wonders what category she thinks Eddie is. Of guy, that is. Not block-anything.

He'd actually be pretty damn happy if the guy miraculously changed his mind and decided to sit on his cock instead.

“What’s going on here?” She asks, almost cattily. He loves when Robin gets bitchy. It brings him back to their Scoops days, except he gets to see it turned on someone else. 

“I’m telling Eddie my life story,” Steve says blithely.

“Ugh. Who would want that?”

Eddie grins. “I’m curious about the adventures of a former king.” He dips his head in a bow, waving his hand in a flourish. “I don’t know if you remember me from last time, I’m Eddie—“

“Munson, I know. You stepped on my lunch in junior year.”

Eddie turns beet red in record time. 

“Aww, Robbie,” Steve almost coos. “Leave him alone. I wanted to be the one who made him blush like that.”

“It’s not my fault your boy’s easy.”

“Not my boy, clearly,” he mutters under his breath. “And if he were easy, I’d have gotten fucked by now.”

Eddie’s mouth drops open with a choked little sound. Whoops. Steve forgot volume control again. 

Robin takes one look at Eddie’s face and bursts into cackles. 

“He was asking about,” he waved a hand in the air, “the whole Nancy-Jonathan thing.”

Her eyebrows jut up. “You told him about the threesome?”

“The what?”

Steve sighs. “No, Robin. I did not tell him about the threesome.”

“…oops.”

“When?” Eddie demands. 

Robin gives him the evil eye. “Why are you being weird about this? It’s not gonna make him fuck you.”

Steve wisely keeps his mouth shut. 

Eddie does not. “Your boy here already asked,” he smirks, leaning closer. “I said no.”

Then, as an added punch to his ego, he twirls a strand of Steve’s hair around his finger and tugs slightly. Steve’s too stunned to protest. 

Robin watches the exchange. “Oh, no thank you,” she says. “Nope. I’m out. I don’t want to see whatever this is. Ugh, stop making me hear about your sex life.”

Hypocrite. “We have thin walls, Buckley,” Steve reminds her. He turns to Eddie and stage whispers, “She likes her girls loud.”

“Steve!”

“You do!”

“Oh, because you’re so quiet,” she snaps, smacking him. “How many times have I had to bang on the wall because you couldn’t keep it down? You wanna talk about loud? I know more about you than I ever wanted to.”

His mouth drops open in mortification. “You know it’s rude to be mean to the man who told you how to eat out,” he hisses. 

“I’m not dying without fucking Eddie Munson,” he declares. “I mean, his high school nickname was literally ‘The Freak.’ He’s got to be good in bed, right?”

“I think that was mostly because everyone thought he was communing with the Devil or something.”

“Maybe the Devil gave him sex magic.”

“Of course he thinks I’m cute.”

“I do?”

“Do you not?” Steve turns to him, widening his eyes in the same pout that always has Robin throwing something at his face, or the kids reluctantly agreeing to do what he wants. He’s found it’s useful for guys too, especially if he ducks his head to seem smaller and looks through his eyelashes. Makes them imagine him looking like that on his knees. 

Munson is no exception. He melts faster than Steve can say gotcha. “You’re very cute, Harrington,” he purrs, and Robin snorts into her drink. 

“You’re a weak, weak man, Eddie Munson,” she tells a blushing Eddie. Then she kicks Steve. “Stop bringing out the ‘fuck me’ eyes when I’m around, I’ll gag.”

“You could leave.”

She gasps, affronted, and kicks him harder.

“So you would fuck me if I wasn’t drunk?”

“Uh…” he looks everywhere but Steve’s face, which is just rude. He has a very nice face. He’s been called dreamy before. 

Which made Robin laugh so hard she fell off the couch when he told her, but he’ll take the lesbian’s opinion with a grain of salt. 

He makes his way onto the dance floor. He’s not a particularly good dancer, but he shakes his ass like he means it. Gets up close with a guy, stares at Eddie the whole time. Keeping eye contact as the guy puts his hands on his hips. 

Look, he means to say. This could be you. You could lose your chance if you’re not careful. 

From the burning in Eddie’s eyes, he gets the message. 

The message is a bunch of bullshit. It’s been over four months, he’s in too deep to go fuck off with someone else now. Still, he enjoys the way Eddie’s hands flex on his thighs, like he had to stop himself from reaching out. 

The thing is, Steve’s not an asshole. He can take a hint. No means no, and all that jazz. If Eddie really didn’t want him, he’d fuck right off and find someone who did. He even started to.

Except Eddie pouted up a storm when he flirted with someone else. Got even clingier when Steve tried to back off. At this point, he’s accepted that Eddie does want to fuck him, and maybe even be more (no one flirts with someone as long as they’ve been doing without wanting something like a relationship out of it. At least, he hopes there’s something more on the horizon), but has some weird hang up about Steve being even a little bit buzzed when it happens. Even though they only ever see each other at this fucking bar.

The problem is Steve has no idea when Eddie will be at the bar. He’ll stay sober one night, hoping to see him, and then go home alone only for next time to be when he sees telltale curls and a wide smile. It’s driving him up the wall. 

Robin has been similarly affected.

“It’s been six months,” she growls as Steve looks eagerly around. “Six fucking months of you two dancing around in the worlds most annoying mating ritual. I’m going to kill both of you.”

“We’re not that bad,” he says absently. 

“You don’t even have his phone number. It’s pathetic. I swear to God, if you see him again and don’t get laid I’m reviving the scoops board. I will go out and buy a whiteboard to keep track of all the times you strike out with a man who used to walk on tables. He stepped on my lunch, Steve. Do I need to keep bringing up the fact he stepped on my delicious, nutritious PB&J? I can’t believe that’s the guy you decide to be obsessed with, that’s so fucking embarrassing for you.”

“Embarrassing? You mean like your crush on my ex girlfriend?”

She screeches wordlessly, pulling her keychain off her belt loop and attacking him with it. 

Naturally, that’s how Eddie finds them. 

“I swear you guys get weirder every time I see you.”

Steve grins guilelessly at him, holding a flailing Robin in a headlock. 

“Eddie! Hey! It’s been a minute.” He hasn’t been able to come in a month, and it’s been longer since he’s seen him. It’s honestly one of the deciding factors on whether it’s a passing fancy or a full blown crush. He still went to sleep every night thinking about Eddie. It didn’t even have to be about sex. 

Although maybe not sleeping with anyone else for half a year should have tipped him off sooner. 

“Sure has, big boy. I was starting to think you were getting sick of me.” It’s a joke, but Steve catches an undercurrent of insecurity. 

“That’d make my life easier,” Robin snorts. She finally wiggles her way out of his hold. “I saw Arty somewhere around here, I’m gonna see if I can crash at her place tonight.” She levels Eddie with a look. “He hasn’t had anything to drink. If you don’t put him out of his misery, I will. And it won’t be the good kind. It will be the bad kind. With bad screams. Lots of screaming, and someone will call the pigs, and I’ll be arrested and jailed for life. Do you want me to go to jail, Munson?”

Eddie shakes his head dumbly. 

“Good! Then do something about it.” She slaps Steve’s back, a mocking echo of his jock days. “Go get ‘em, slugger!” 

With that, she’s gone, disappearing into the crowd. 

“She is,” Steve remarks with amusement, “the worst wingman on planet Earth. Mars too, probably.”

“I dunno, I think it might be working.”

“I’m not doing anything without a condom,” he says, eyes narrowed like he’s waiting for an argument. 

“Me neither,” Steve agrees. “Robin has, like, this big fear of diseases. Totally got me with it. She pulled out the library books, those pictures were fucking disgusting. Shit showed up in my dreams, man. Neither of us do anything without protection.”

“I’m going to be totally honest with you, because I haven’t been and it’s starting to eat at me,” Eddie says, hovering above Steve. 

Steve wrinkles his nose. “What is it? Are you a spy or something? Are you Russian? Do you have superpowers? Is your name not actually Eddie?” He pauses. “Oh, God, you’re not even Eddie Munson, are you? I’m just some asshole who’s been calling you by my old classmates name and you were too embarrassed to correct me. Shit, we made so much fun of you for walking on tables too—“

“What?” Eddie covers his mouth, expression hovering between amused and baffled. “What the fuck, why would I go along with that? No, Jesus, I’m Eddie Munson. Moved to Hawkins when I was eleven, took senior year three times, walked on the fucking tables, could you let that go?” He moves the hand covering Steve’s mouth to play with his hair, looking annoyed for a minute before it smoothes to trepidation. “No, I, uh, I just felt like I needed to tell you that I used to have a hate-boner for you in high school. Like, I used to jack it to the thought of kicking your ass and making a mess outta you. In more ways than one.”

Steve stares. 

“Also, that’s kind of why I approached you in the bar in the first place,” Eddie blabbers on. “And then you said you were just there for a friend, and I was disappointed but it’s whatever, yanno? And then then you told me about your dad, and threw my expectations to the fucking wolves, and then you asked me to come up to your apartment except you were drunk and you probably didn’t mean it. But then the next time I saw you, you kept flirting with me, which you were not supposed to do, and I kept pretending that wasn’t the reason I even talked to you in the first place, and, uh, yeah.” He smiles nervously. “Surprise?”

“I mean, not really.”

“You’re such an asshole, fuck off. At least pretend to be shocked.”

“It’s not my fault you stare at my legs all the time,” Steve says, affronted. “I know I didn’t do too good in school, but I’m not dumb enough to miss that. Like, hello, my eyes are up here.”

Eddie lets his arms give out, flopping on top of Steve heavily. Steve wheezes. “Am I really that obvious?” He whines into his shoulder. 

“You got sad and pouty when I even looked at another guy.”

“You could’ve fucked him,” he mumbles. “The guy you were dancing with. It wasn’t any of my business. I’m a big boy, I can deal.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to fuck him,” Steve says. “I wanted to fuck you. Can we go back to that please?”

“Thought I was fucking you.”

“Someone’s getting fucked or Robin will kill both of us. I’d like to live tomorrow morning. And not have to deal with any more of her teasing for having no game.”

“You have unfortunate amounts of game,” Eddie sighs, tracing the side of Steve’s neck. It tickles. “It’s kind of embarrassing for me.”

“Yeah, yeah, are we using those condoms or not, Moodkiller?”

“Oh, I’m the mood killer?”

“Yes,” Steve says matter of factly, and pulls him in for a kiss before he can protest.

[hazbinhotelxreader]

Carmilla Carmine x female reader ABC smut headcannons

A/n: I did this on another account for Lapis Lazuli, let’s hope this one goes well too lol!

Requested by: no one.

Warnings: smut, gay sex. A lot more but you’ll see in the headcannons(I ain’t gonna list every headcannon)

A- After Care (what their like after sex)

-Sweetest and most caring woman ever after sex. She’ll make sure your hydrated, comfortable, cleaned up and even fed if your hungry after. She’ll even help you take a bath or shower if needed

B- Body Part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner and themselves?)

-For her? She likes her thighs. In sex or out of sex. It doesn’t really matter. She enjoys having you touch and sit on them, grind on them or simply rest on them.

-For you, she enjoys your hands. Also in and out of sex. She loves how both of your hands can intertwine together in public, or how you can caress her and touch her. Also she enjoys your fingers in her so that’s a plus for her

C-Cum (anything to do with it)

-50/50 for her. She enjoys it but she isn’t crazy about it. She’ll eat you out but sometimes doesn’t swallow all the cum. Sometimes she’ll just wipe it onto the bedsheets to get it off of herself. It’s kinda messy for her and sticky if there’s too much, which is uncomfortable.

D-Dominant or Submissive? (Their position in sex)

-She leans on more of the Dominant side. She’s not a controlling top, but she does like taking the reins. Either that or a power bottom, but she’ll let you have full control too.

E-Experience (how experienced are they?)

-She’s pretty experienced. She’s not like angel dust or some succubus who’s really good at it, but she can satisfy you better than a lot of people can.

F/Favorite Pose/position (y’all know what this is)

-Missionary. No doubt. She enjoys seeing you. Whether you’re on top of her or if she’s on top of you. She likes seeing your reactions up close and it’s much easier for her to kiss and pleasure you.

G-Goofy (how serious are they in bed?)

-To her intimacy is not about jokes and goofing off. Yea she’ll tease you here and there and chuckle sometimes at your reactions, but she isn’t going to be that goofy.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they?)

-She’s pretty well groomed. Being a weapon armor Overlord she likes to stay professional, so keeping herself well groomed (even in the areas that aren’t showing) is how she rolls.

I-Intimacy (are they romantic?)

-100%. She’s one of the most romantic girls ever. I feel like if she’s feeling really romantic, she’d get the room cozy and soft and dimly lit with candles and rose petals. Also the bath tub too. Bath tub hot and warm, filled with rose petals and candles around it, and wine for you two to drink to get the mood up.

J-Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

-She isn’t one to jack off. If she were to it would be like at most 5 times a year. She won’t jack off unless she’s really in need of release and you’re not there.

K-Kinks (one or two of their kinks)

-Praising and BDSM. Light BDSM though, like soft handcuffs or belts. Nothing too extreme where your all tied up. She wants you to be comfortable. She loves receiving bondage too, also lightly, she doesn’t want to be all tied up and fully restrained where she can’t even move. She enjoys giving and receiving praise, she won’t be too graphic about it but she’ll go far with that one

L-Location (where would they want to do it?)

-The place she mainly wants to have sex with you at is in your guys room alone. She enjoys having the moment romantic and relaxing. Though she’s up for sex in the bath if you’re up for it.

M-Motivation (what turns them on?)

-You just being sexy or seductive. If you’re in an aroused position, then that will make her aroused. If you’re speaking seductively with a smirk on your face, then she’ll be turned on. Also touching. Like rubbing your hands against her thighs or waist. She also enjoys heated kisses on her mouth or neck, it’ll turn her on.

N-No (where do they draw the line?)

-Any actual pain. She’s okay with light biting and anything pleasurable. But nothing to far. She doesn’t want to hurt you and doesn’t feel comfortable inflicting any pain on you, or herself.

O-Oral (What their like giving/receiving)

-She’s good at it, a woman knows what another woman wants. Her tongue’s incredibly skilled, she could make you cum with just licking your thighs.

-She loves receiving oral. She’ll be holding back all her groans and moans as she’s practically sweating from the stimulation.

P-Pace (Are they Rough and fast? Or slow and sensual?)

-Most of the time slow and sensual. Though if you want rough then she’ll give you rough. She likes slow and sensual for herself though, she rarely asks you for it to be rough.

Q-Quickies (Their opinions, experiences, etc.)

-She’d rather not, but she finds herself using them sometimes. She does it with you sometimes at work if either one of you needs some sort of release. But she’d rather have you in bed with her and take her sweet time.

R-Risk (are they willing to experiment? Risks?)

-Risks are rarely or not ever taken. She cherishes her time with you and wouldn’t risk getting hurt, or getting caught. She’s willing to experiment different positions, styles, or habits though

S-Stamina (How long can they go for?)

-Normally, she can for about 2 or 3 rounds. But she can go for 4 or 5 sometimes if you both are really in the mood and need it.

T-Toys (do they use toys?)

-Sometimes but not often. She’d rather use herself (fingers, mouth, tongue, etc.) rather than be objects, but she’s up for it once in a while

U-Unfair (do they like to tease?)

-yes, she does. Though it’s not harsh or cruel, a few small jokes or words or actions but not to much.

V-Volume (How loud are they?)

-From quiet to medium. She’s not too nosy, she’s loud enough for you to hear though. She will get louder sometimes if you go rougher on her though.

W-Wild card(just a random headcannon for the character)

-She doesn’t show a lot of PDA, but sometimes during meeting with other overlords, when she’s sitting down with you, she’ll trial her fingers up and down your thighs.

X-Xray (what are they like underneath those clothes)

-She’s smooth, and if you already couldn’t tell, she’s pretty thin too. Uhh breast size, not so big either but it’s not like it matters.

Y-Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-Not very high. She has a pretty low sex drive. She’s usually not in the mood or too busy. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have desires, it’s just not often.

Z-Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)

-She waits for you to fall asleep, wanting you to feel comfortable and safe in her arms. Though if you go hard on her then she’ll probably pass out before you, especially if you had sex on a busy stressful day.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to get my best friend sectioned?

This actually happened 2 years ago, but last night he made a joke about it that kind of seemed like he might still be mad at me about it. So. Anyway, ages and all are written as they were at the time.

For context, my (18m) mom took guardianship of my friend (17m), called “J”, after his grandfather passed, a few months before this happened.

Not going into specifics, but J has struggled with OCD and an ED for years, and I suspect when he’s an adult he’ll probably get diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some point.

(Update from the Present: no dice… yet.)

A close family friend of his passed away and it caused his mental issues (particularly the ED) to get a lot worse really quickly.

Even thought my mom was technically his guardian, she kind of relied on me to keep tabs on him because he’s usually pretty honest with me compared to other people. Like, if he’s not doing well, I have the best chance of finding that out.

So. His family friend dies, he gets worse, I report all of this back to my mom, who starts trying to get some sort of more intensive treatment lined up for him (difficult and time consuming because of where we lived at the time).

My mom tells me not to tell J, because he “talks a big game” about not wanting treatment or whatever and she firmly believes it’ll be easier if he doesn’t have time to stress himself out about it before it happens. Okay. So I don’t tell J.

Somehow, he finds out anyway, and also finds out that I knew and had chosen not to tell him, but doesn’t tell me that he knows. (Convoluted, I know, sorry.)

I pick J up from an after school thing one night, we end up talking about pretty heavy shit in the car for a /long/ time, and after the conversation died, he put a hand on my shoulder, leaned over, and kissed me. And like not a short kiss either. It was like a 3 to 4 second kiss.

Context again, I realized I was gay and that I liked J in a not particularly friend-like way when I was 13. I never told him and never planned on telling him. I told him a lot of things but I intended on growing old and dying with that one kept nice and secret. Even if he was some form of not-straight, which I was 99.99% sure he wasn’t, I didn’t think it was worth jeopardizing my closest friendship with romantic and/or sexual feelings that could at best confuse him or make him uncomfortable or at worst outright disgust him.

Anyway. We don’t talk about it, I end up going to stay for a few days with a guy (20m but not really relevant) I’d been sort of seeing/sleeping with for a couple months because I literally couldn’t be in the same house as J or I would probably implode.

Fast forward a week, I’m picking J up from a hospital 2 towns over because he ran away (? unclear really, haven’t discussed the particulars w him and I wasn’t staying at home at the time) and ended up having to go to the ER.

In the car (best time to talk to someone because they can’t run away), he apologizes for kissing me. I’m thrown off by that, because he hadn’t said anything up to this point and it honestly wasn’t even in the top 5 things I was thinking about.

I asked him why he did it and he just sighed and explained in this tone of voice that, I don’t know how to explain it, but had just the right lack of empathy or affect that I knew he was being 110% honest.

Condensed version: he found out I was reporting everything he told me to my mom (still don’t know how). He was pissed. He was aware he needed more intensive treatment, and he knew my mom was aware. He did not want treatment. He knew I had liked him for years. He knew that I was relatively fragile about it. He knew that if he did something (like kiss me for example) there was a good chance it would break my brain and I would freak out.

He essentially kissed me to decommission me for a few days so he could formulate a plan to run away.

FINALLY we have arrived at the AITA part.

After hearing all this, I tried very hard to come up with something rational to say, but ended up saying (essentially), “You’re fucking insane, and I’m telling my mother you need to be committed.”

I know I wasn’t wrong to be angry. But I also know from past knowledge and experiences that he had a deep fear of being deemed “insane” or unfixable or whatever, and also that he was really afraid of treatment in general.

Idk. I go back and forth on whether or not I was out of line, or needlessly escalating the situation, by threatening him. It was a much bigger threat in his mind than it was in mine, and so even though I know I said it as a reaction to a fucked up situation, there’s still the idea that I blew it completely out of proportion and weaponized his own mental issues against him.

So AITA for threatening my best friend by telling him I was going to get him committed to a long term psychiatric hospital?

What are these acronyms?

[northstarstate-loverboy]

Utah at the Roller Rink

Guh I love this little stupid silly baby and I want to throw him (more under the cut)

I love him he’s so chuckable also I did not know where the hell to put him sooo… Rollerskating? Ig

Utah HC’s bc I’m very autistic :3

He’s a gay aceflux caedsexual cis man

He’s (technically) mixed, he’s Dutch and about 25% Mexican but doesn’t say he’s mixed bc it complicates things and White is just easier

Speaks some broken Spanish but doesn’t use it unless he’s talking to NM

Went on his mission as a Mormon to Boston and then worked at the training centers for as long as he could until he ended up leaving the church

Illithiya and him got divorced after Brayden (youngest) moved out

(Not a Utah HC but) Illithiya now lives in Hawaii

In a relationship w/ the four corners BUT his gay awakening was Nevada who he had severe denial of and convinced himself he couldn’t be gay because Nevada is a trans man and was “technically” a woman

^^^ he also no longer thinks like this

I enjoy believing he was extremely outwardly homophobic until the 2010’s when he finally realized how little he was attracted to Illithiya

Illithiya and him are on talking terms still and she really hasn’t been offended about it since immediately after she found out

Only 2 of his children know that he is gay and in a relationship (Kinsley and Zach, YES I COUNT ZACH.)

(Also not a Utah HC but) Kinsley also came out to him as Trans when she was 23 and Utah had to change himself for her and now currently has the best relationship with Kinsley out of the 8

Jaxon, Kaylee, Kayden, Jayden, and Ahmed all do not know that Utah is gay (he hides it really well at holidays)

Brayden completely cut contact with him and left the church

Hates any and all jokes about him being a “good Mormon boy” or anything like that unless they come from his partners

God I wrote ALOT there whoopsies ☺️

Hope you enjoyed my stupid ranting I’m gonna go spend the next 27 days dissociating until I begin to art more

/srs tho I joined a Graphic Design program at a community college and have been making a lot more art now but idk if I’m gonna become unmotivated randomly so please don’t worry if I disappear with new art content for months on end/j

Tysm for getting to this point! Hope you enjoy my art AND my bullshit, see you again soon :3

[hyperfizationss]

Charlie nsfw alphabet.

X male reader smut.

Charlie(yuurivoice) x amab/male (can be gender neutral but it is focused on male) reader

A-after care (what they’re like after sex)

Yeah,no.not that he would like to do it,but he’s either stunned or sleepy after sex,so your the one doing aftercare

B-body part (their and your favorite body part)

Personal headcanon that Charlie has really veiny hands for no reason,so he adores his hands,the way he can hold a joint and grab your dick is amazing.his favorite body part of yours would have to be your hair,long short as long as he can use it to grip you while your sucking his dick he likes it.

C-cum (kinda self explanatory)

He’s has mixed feelings abt it,he doesn’t mind it but he’s not completely into it.but he doesn’t like to swallow it,so don’t try that kinky shit on him

D-dirty secret (also self explanatory)

Desperately wants to be choked out and called a male slut.

E-experience (does he know what he’s doing?)

Charlie has definitely had his share of hookups,he knows what he’s doing but he’ll act like he doesn’t cause he’s a Whiney baby

F- fav position (also kinda self explanatory)

Pirates bounty and suspended congress (both are gay sex positions.and as a girl,I think they both have the funniest name on planet earth)

G-Goofy (how are they in the moment,serious or silly?)

Charlie likes to be a tease,he prefers to keep the bedroom light hearted and fun,he definitely keeps you entertained if you here what I’m saying

H-hair (how well groomed are they,does the carpet match the drapes)

He shaves,nothing special about it.but I do think he’d be a bit harry

I-intamicy (how are they in the moment,on the romantic aspect)

He can be lovey dovey,like dying I love you in low groans as she fucks you

J-Jack off (masturbation hc)

I’ll give you this much,he wants to be caught,he wants you to see him jacking off to a picture of you while you were sucking him off once

K-kink (any kink of theirs)

Praise kink,choking kink(even tho it doesn’t happen) and not sure if this counts but he really likes to slap his dick around your face before you suck him off

L-location (places he likes or has done it)

He’s definitely took you in the closet of Pete’s Pizzeria,and in the back of his car,and he’s pushed you over the kitchen counter before,but he stopped and said he was joking cause he was nervous

M-motivation (what gets him going)

When you admit your horny to him,that could make him cum anytime anywhere

N-no.(something he wouldn’t do)

He wouldn’t be into hate fucking,he’s a strong believer of “we don’t go to bed mad in this house”

O-oral (giver or receiver?)

He honestly doesn’t care,he likes to give just as much as he likes to receive.but don’t make him swallow cum,that’s how you get no oral for a week

P-pace (how fast/rough are they)

He’s fast and rough,he likes hearing you whine ass he fucks your ass and digs his hands into your lower body

Q-quickie (opinions on them)

One simple word

Yes.

R-risk (risky thoughts or experiments)

He so wants to pull you into an alley and give you the best blowing of your life but he’s to afraid to do so

S-Stamina(how many rounds)

Depends on the day,if he didn’t have work he’s more likely to go for about 5 maybe 6,but after a long day he really just needs to cum so maybe 1 or 2 rounds

T-toys (does he own them?like them?)

He personally doesn’t own anything other than a dildo he keeps under his bed,but I’d you have cooler stuff you want to sue on him he’s down

U-Unfair(how much they like teasing)

If you start to whine and say fuck offs and fuck you’s to him he’ll force you to look at him and apologize(which is so hot)

V-Volume (how loud is he)

Oh Jesus he can be loud and whiney,like no matter what the position is,he’s a big whiner

W-Wildcard (random headcanon)

He likes to bite your thighs(god damn I’m mains myself blush,and I’m writing about gay sex)

X-X-ray (how big is he)

A tiny bit over average (6.7 inches)

Y-Yearning ( how high is his sex drive)

Anytime,anywhere,no matter what

Z-zzzzz (how quickly they fall apart)

He gets tired so easily,so easily so he’s asleep almost immediately

Kinda a gift for a friend (i know I usually don’t do smut but ya know ppl change)

[je5hko]

~ Beavis and Butthead headcanons!~

okay so i decided ill will post bnbh headcanons from time to time when im not posting art. The headcanons are random btw

TW: GAY PPL(/j), ANGST, GROSS STUFF, ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA

Beavis eats his boogers, while Butthead has his own personal booger wall (behind the couch)

When they were kids, they would try to cheer each other up/ distract each other from their mothers yelling by making funny faces! Occasionally they would tickle each other as well!

Buttheads mother was absent most of the time, but when she was around she would ignore him. Refusing to believe he was her son. She would even tell him to stop calling her mom. (sobbing afterwards) But whenever Butthead cried, he received a slap on the face. "You are not allowed to cry” or "I’ll give you a reason to cry if you don’t shut up” is all she would say after hitting him. He quickly learned that expressing emotions is wrong, so he simply stopped.

Shirley on the other hand, would look after both of the kids. She was far from being a perfect mother, but there were times she would try to take care of them apart of being drunk all day. For example she occasionally would take them out to eat junk food, give them small presents like cheap action figures, making a vague attempt at showing affection. Basically trying her best at motherhood, but besides that she would often yell at them (mostly Beavis) slap them when they did something wrong etc.

Butthead was the one to learn basic hygiene even though he wasn’t a big fan of it, while Beavis struggled with it as fuck. The blonde would often use the sink/ bathtub instead of toilet, not bothering to clean after himself.

At 17 they tried to give each other stick and pokes. They ended up getting infections with the pen ink and rusty needle.

There are moments when their faces get too close, like when they're both trying to look at something on the TV or sharing a snack. Butt-Head gets flustered and pushes Beavis away, muttering something about personal space.

Sometimes Butt-Head finds himself wanting to do something nice for Beavis, like sharing his nachos or letting him choose what to watch on TV. When this happens, Butt-Head angrily tells himself to "stop being a wuss."

Beavis sometimes finds himself doing little things for Butt-Head, like saving the last chip for him or instinctively waiting for him before going anywhere. He doesn’t know why it feels important to do these things.

Butt-Head often convinces himself that whatever he’s feeling is just a phase or a result of being around Beavis too much, so he starts suggesting they hang out with others more often, though it never actually happens.

Beavis feels a strange sense of comfort when he’s sitting next to Butt-Head, often leaning in a little closer without realizing it. Butt-Head notices and tells him to back off, but deep down he doesn’t really mind.

Butt-Head is more aggressive in trying to pick up chicks than usual, using it as a way to distract himself from his growing feelings for Beavis. He convinces himself that if he gets a girlfriend, these feelings will go away.

Neither of them ever wears matching socks, not because they’re trying to be cool, but because they’ve lost so many pairs.

Butt-Head once wore the same pair of socks for two weeks straight just to see how bad they could smell. He proudly showed them to Beavis, who gagged but couldn’t stop sniffing out of morbid curiosity.

Butt-Head refuses to wash his hair more than once a month because he believes the grease gives him “natural style.” Beavis agrees.

There’s a cup in their room that has had mold growing in it for so long that it’s practically become a pet. They named the mold “Squishy” and take turns seeing who can get closest to it without gagging

They have a secret handshake that’s a combination of a high five, fist bump, and a quick flick of the middle finger, which they think is the coolest thing ever

Beavis and Butt-Head have an odd fascination with roadkill. They’ll sometimes poke at it with sticks or laugh about how “cool” it is.

Beavis sometimes wishes he was more confident like Butt-Head, not realizing that Butt-Head is just as insecure as he is but hides it better.

Beavis suffers from recurring nightmares about losing Butt-Head, being abandoned, or his mother. He tries to mask his fear with jokes, but these dreams deeply affect him.

They both have a subtle, unspoken agreement to look out for one another. When one is sick or down, the other steps in to offer support in their own way, whether it’s through humor or practical help

Beavis has a penchant for combining disgusting food items, like mixing pickles with peanut butter or dipping hot dogs in ketchup and ice cream. He genuinely enjoys these bizarre concoctions.

[shentheauthor]

Fuck it, I’m bored. Nine sols gender/sexuality headcanons.

Kuafu: Gay cis man. I adore him. Look at him. He’s not subtle. He says jiequan, who literally walks around half naked, is “stylish.” I know what you are.

Goumang: She gives trans lesbian vibes. I also adore her. Free my girl, I could fix her

Yanlao: Homophobic /j. Nah fr tho, I think he’s a cis het man, but like, he isn’t gonna be homophobic or transphobic. I don’t think Penglai has that kind of thing. Grandpa is an ally, yay

Jiequan: That is a GAY MAN. Trans maybe? I haven’t decided, but what I do know is he is GAY. Look at how he talks to Yi. He’s gay and down horrendous and needs some therapy PRONTO. “Gay people who cannot be in a healthy relationship because they suck so bad” representation

Lady Ethereal: Bisexual demigirl, she/they! Also I hate that they didn’t let her keep her original name in the EN version. Fu Die is pretty!!! Dammit!!! But yea Lady E gives me strong bisexual vibes. She also had a thing for Yi

Fuxi: Listen. Listen. He and Nuwa are identical twins. ONE of them bitches is trans. To me, it’s Fuxi. Trans man Fuxi is real to me. No clue what’s going on with his sexuality, and frankly, I don’t wanna know

Nuwa: I think she’d fw neopronouns. Her gender is a mess, and she wouldn’t really care to define it. Rotating her around in my brain. As for sexuality, same as Fuxi

Ji: Agender, he/they, and bisexual. The devs wanted him to be agender/nonbinary and I am CLINGING to that. They’re real to me. Also I think they and Jietong had a thing. I won’t elaborate.

Eigong: cis lesbian with every mental illness, banned from all public spaces. She gives old, wise queer energy until you dig deeper into her personality and see oh, she needs to be on some kind of list. Kind of iconic, ngl.

Yi: arospec/aspec, probably agender, but he has a job so he doesn’t care about that shit rn. He/him because that’s generally what people default to. Would not touch jiequan with a ten foot pole. Could have potentially had a thing with Lady Ethereal had everything not gone to absolute shit.

Heng: same as Yi lmao. Genuinely. They’re the AAA siblings

Shennong: Pansexual. Considers himself cis, but there’s definitely something else going on there. He doesn’t want to unpack that. Frankly, he is valid.

Bonus:

Chien: Trans girl

Shanhai 9000: gender is a solarian concept it doesn’t give a flying fuck about (it/its pronouns). Same with sexuality.

Abacus: also doesn’t care about gender or sexuality, but he will accept whatever pronouns. It’s whatever to him.

Shuanshuan: Intersex! Might grow up to be queer, but honestly, he’s just a baby rn. I’m not about to go in depth there

Chiyou: finds the concept of gender fascinating, chose he/him pronouns because he liked how they sounded. So what I’m getting at is: trans Chiyou

[ghostradiodylan]

Can we just talk about Kaitlyn’s response to kissing Ryan for one second? (You know, not that we do that perverted het shit in this house /j)

Now if you’ve only ever made the correct choice kissed Dylan, you could be forgiven for thinking Kaitlyn is pretty into Ryan. She looks a little pouty about not being chosen here.

[Also oh my god she’s so tiny the beer bottle is huge in her little Barbie hand I want to squish her 😍]

This is right after the “shall we?” She doesn’t look unhappy… but she looks a little trepidatious. She does not look like she’s won the kissing Ryan Erzahler lottery.

Is it because Dylan’s giving her a real cunty side-eye? Hard to say.

[Look, they're besties and he'd literally die for her, but he's thinking about cutting a bitch right now.]

Pre-kiss. Does she look excited about this? She kinda looks dead inside to me.

[Why does she look like she’s thinking, did I leave the oven on?]

Immediately after…

Does… does she look pleased to you, my guy? She kinda looks like she just realized she doesn’t actually like men disappointed to me.

She kind of cringe smiles at this line. You would, right?

I just really want to know what kind of direction they gave Brenda here because my girl is NOT happy. There’s, like, a silent ‘ugh’ in this face! And we don’t know why! Is it because she’s worried about Dylan’s feelings? She didn’t seem that worried about him before the actual kiss. Is it because of the awkward silence that accompanied it? It’s not like she knows everyone would have cheered if he picked Dylan, only we know that.

Then she sits down and…

Well, guess that happened.

She looks significantly happier about Dylan kissing her supposed crush.

She could just be putting on a brave face for her friends, but Dylan can’t even see her yet and she’s already smiling.

And, of course, the game further affirms this because we don’t get the ‘disappointed’ chyron regarding Kaitlyn if Dylan is chosen instead.

So, I totally respect everyone’s right to ship them as a throuple, but when people say SMG should have just made them a canon throuple in the game I have to disagree, unless they were going to fundamentally change the characters and their reactions to each other in order to do it. (Other than Kaitlyn’s reactions here, writer/director Will Byles says Dylan is gay, not bisuxal, and we know he’s canonically pretty jealous.) And that’s not just my compulsory monogamy speaking, I actually think Nick/Abi/Emma would be a perfectly workable throuple and I’m surprised more people don’t write them that way.

But mainly I think Kaitlyn just… really isn’t that into Ryan. And I do wish we got more insight into her character on this topic and just in general. Is it because she knows Dylan likes him more than she does? Is it because she’s actually a lesbian suffering under comphet (or completely aro/ace and just not accepting it) and she had to tell Jacob something when he asked who she thought the hottest person at camp was, so she picked the brooding loner who never talks to anyone because that seemed safe? Is she secretly harboring feelings for Jacob and that’s why she’s so hard on her childhood friend about his relationship with Emma?? There’s just no way to know.

[pansy-picnics]

SHE IS SO NERODIVERGENT OMG. i pretty much described the first few episodes to my friend as “rapunzel is autistic and no one else knows how to handle an autistic person” pffft. she’s just so. gosh. she’s so full of love :( she went through so much for her Entire life up until now but she’s still so full of love and passion and sometimes that’s what end up being her downfall, because no one else is taking the time to understand her and they misinterpret how she acts on her care for them. but she just wants to help people :((

SHES SOOO AUTISTIC AND THATS LIKE. HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF HOW THE SHOW ENDED UP PORTRAYING HER bc it definitely has a lot of flaws but like. she has a lot of traits that neurotypical people would typically consider “childish” or “immature” but the show doesn’t infantilize her for it and as an autistic person thats something that makes me really warm and fuzzy inside…..i think she should be Weirder and i think everyone should love her for it!!!!! AND I THINK THEY DO!!!! i will never let go of the idea that cass and varian despite everything they went through will be in her life forever. they care way too deeply abt each other to just let go because of a misunderstanding on rapunzel’s part!!!!! also cass has a massive gay crush on her so she couldn’t remove her from her life even if she tried /j

nothing about rapunzel is neurotypical and i stand by that tbh. its not even just the missing social cues things its the way she’s so in touch with the world,,, like the way shes always barefoot bc shoes feel weird and restricting? like THAT’S AUTISM? literally i have an autistic friend who’s sensory seeking and she said the exact same thing SHE’S JUST AUTISTIC BRO

sorry i can actually go SO in depth on how exactly i think rapunzel’s autism presents. like she’s the kind of autistic who’s really soothed by deep pressure and thats what she always gives everyone big tight bear hugs bc gothel never let her do that but she’s just trying to share that comfort it always gives her. (varian is like this too so they always squeeze each other SOOO tight when they hug and it looks really uncomfortable from an outside perspective but they’re both THRILLED.) she’s the kind of person who has tons of vocal stims and is always bouncing around in some way. she bites people but like Lovingly. she loves weird smells like rubbing alcohol and people have to take it away from her bc they don’t want her to inhale the fumes for too long. when she was a kid she climbed all over EVERYTHING she climbed on the tower roof a lot too if it weren’t for gothel’s gaslighting she would’ve figured out a way to escape by the time she was like 6 years old. she’s hyper emphatic in the way that she grows super attached to inanimate objects. she enjoys trying the most batshit food combinations just to see what they taste like and she usually ends up enjoying them. she’s banned from the kitchen bc once she put ketchup on a hard boiled egg. she’s the kinda person who only uses swears for Special Occasions.

i actually have this one cassunzel fic bookmarked that’s mostly focused on autistic rapunzel and i hold it SOOOO close to my heart i think about it literally all the time ITS CANON TO ME OK. SHE HAS A COMFORT BLANKET AND ITS THE ONE SHE WAS WRAPPED IN WHEN GOTHEL TOOK HER FROM THE CASTLE…..IT HAS THE SUN CREST ON IT AND THATS HOW SHE STARTED PAINTING IT. IT MAKES ME SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP BC I HAD A COMFORT BLANKET WHEN I WAS A KID AND I COULDN’T SLEEP WITHOUT IT. AUGHHH.

rapunzel is the sweetest person in thw world i wholeheartedly believe everyone loves her. LIKE SHE BASICALLY REDEEMED *counting on my fingers* LIKE AT LEAST 6 CRIMINALS??? PROBABLY MORE??? and at the same time shes so Weird. like i think shes weird in a very specific way that doesn’t even have anything to do with the autism shes just kind of a freak bc like she grew up in a tower for 18 years ofc she is. like i think shes so infatuated with the world as a whole she loves Everything shed treat the worlds most venomous creature like a little puppy. whenever eugene is screaming about bugs in the castle shes like “awwwww little guy :(“ and goes and picks him up and brings him outside. shes like holding a tarantula the size of her hand like “eugene how could you be scared of this little face :(“ and eugene’s like “Blondie we need to burn this whole castle down”

its basically canon too like remember that one scene in beginnings where she brought that whole fucking wolf out from the woods and he just didn’t even bother her like they were chill. all animals are chill with rapunzel like that.

but also she probably ate bugs once like one day she got really bored in the tower and she saw pascal eating a bug and shes like “Oh huh i bet it must taste good” and so she just tried eating a couple of bugs because she could. and yknow what she probably liked it too but the only reason she doesn’t anymore is bc she feels bad for the bugs.

i also think she was weird in a sense that like…when she was in the tower something about her always just seemed a little Off yk? something about the way she stared or her body language…it was because of the abuse ofc. but like she generally had this very porcelain doll look to her. like she was so slim and frail (malnourished) and she was strangely pale and the few freckles over her nose just seemed Too perfect. everything about her just looked untouchable, unreal, almost uncanny…..something abt it just made you uneasy but you could never put your finger on Why. and i think it’s especially clear when people look at her like ten or so years down the line…she’s much healthier, shes got some more weight on her, she looks much more comfortable in her body. she always has the biggest grin on her face. she’s got a light tan and shes absolutely COVERED in freckles from head to toe. scars and birthmarks and stretch marks on her skin tell this story of the life she’s lived and what she’s seen. she’s covered in tattoos, all designed herself (because you cant convince me she wouldn’t go CRAZY as soon as she finds out about tattoos ok.) shes always bouncing around everywhere, theres happiness literally RADIATING from her and shes so bright it’s blinding….

GOD she makes me so emotional. she is just so full of love and joy……….she draws pascal with freckles so they match……her favorite color is all of them….she’d sacrifice her life for all of her friends any day. she totally gets all huffy when her loved ones try to care for her when shes sick because she doesn’t want them to get sick too. yk the way everyone talks abt princess diana like thats how everyone in the tangled universe talks abt rapunzel i feel. i’m just. FUCK. PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH.

[drafgost]

Grippy

Man I’m so pissed that this is gonna be my first post but I have GOT to break my silence for Grippy. I need to know why these cheeks hit the fucking airwaves. She a ten piece like a mcnugget. What else can I really say? We’re talking about Grippy by Cash Cobain & J. Cole.

I’m not usually going to dive into the lyrics this much, but something about this song broke me. Every bar is straight ass and I’m compelled to talk about it. Grippy. I’m also going to be much more organized than this, but I’ve lost my. Fucking. Grippy. On what semblance of sanity I retain.

The song starts immediately with a dull ass beat and J. Cole briefly describing the progression of a relationship between him and a girl.

“She like my kick game

And when you know me, you don’t kick game

I put her front row at the Knick game

Now she in my phone with a nickname”

Unfortunately for us all, after a line where it seems like he’s actively trying to come up with said nickname because he’s just saying “it’s, it’s, ummm”, he tells us that she’s down in his phone as Grippy. Why? Don’t worry, he guides us through his thought process, just in case we were lost.

“Grippy, I call her that ‘cause it’s grippy”

What else, Jermaine?

“She thick in the hips, she a hippie

And she thick in the lips, she gon’ lick me”

-

“When she see me, she say she gon’ strip me

She gon’ chew on this stick like it’s Wrigley’s”

I don’t want to know that, Jermaine.

I don’t know why he thought this next bar would be a reasonable thing to say, but he also just said he wanted Grippy to gnaw on his wood like a beaver so I think dude was just operating on some real hell dimension vibes.

“She said she was gay until I slayed

Now she strictly dickly”

There’s no bars of noteworthy ass past this point from J. Grippy pages him and he hits 150 to get there, running Hollywood Cole a $100 base fine for speeding if the Grippyverse takes place in Cali. He has a Grippepiphany. We learn that Grippy is wet. Cole introduces Sabrina and Tiffany and they only pass one third of the Bechdel test. After he states that he “tryna see how that glove gon’ fit” (this is what OJ died for) and that he “wanna feel like [he] touchin’ [Grippy’s] kidneys”, he offers to take her kids to Disney.

That was utterly terrible, but we’re not done. You fucking buffoons have sorely neglected the real villain of this track: Cash Cobain.

“I wanna kill it like rest in peace

Eat on that pussy like it was a recipe”

So far, not worse than Grippy. A real Trojan Horse of pussy verses. How bad could it get?

We have a brief respite while Cash fucking rambles while saying random women’s names, but then he throws us one of his best bars on the song:

“You piss my bitches off like a potty”

More woman rambling. He wants to make Jess a mess, he has something he must confess, he wants to see her undress and is about to send her his address. He wants to fuck Millie ‘til she’s dizzy, and wants her to “suck it sloppy, make it spitty”. Finally, while still addressing poor Spitty Millie, he delivers his magnum opus:

That’s all lots of unpack, and we can truly only scratch the surface. The Grippyverse is immense, and I was certainly overwhelmed by Marvel-level character buildup clogging the narrative artery. Grippy, Sabrina, Tiffany, Destiny (rest in peace), Pregnancy Scare Shanti, Zari, Mia, Jada, Mash Potatoes Kayla, Good Vagina China, Shy Niyah, Toni Macaroni, Polisher Lexi and a possible second Destiny, Marni and her immense conflict, Jess the Mess, and Spitty Millie are all introduced in the freakiest fucking four minute role call I’ve heard to date. How do they relate to each other, if at all? We know the first three are friends, as Cole state’s he thought the whole clique was bad but liked Grippy the best. Are the two Destiny’s aware of each other? Did Polisher Destiny murk Destiny Rest In Peace to take her place? Why doesn’t Cash want to talk to Marni? What did she do to piss off bitches like a potty? Why is the beat so fucking boring?

I haven’t touched on how the song sounds. It sounds the same. The whole song sounds like a trickle of consistent noise. The beat is boring as shit and remains boring as shit the whole run. I listened to the song a few times to really get a feel and kept forgetting it was on once I began to ignore the lyrics.

The one ounce of joy I derived from this song were the initial Genius annotations that were later replaced by people just desperately trying to make sense of this pile of wet sawdust by explaining the potty bar, and what a pager was. “UNC FREAKY” was a much better thing to read than exposition on why Jermaine Lamarr Cole immortalized some poor woman as Grippy, which was readily evident within context.

My Final Rating of Grippy

Lyrics: 2/10

One point awarded for the potty bar. I won’t explain myself. Another point awarded out of respect for Destiny Rest In Peace (peace be upon her, Amen)

Vocals: 5/10

Literally just so average. Nothing special and nothing terrible, and just not worth giving anything other than an average score.

Sound: 5/10

Once again just so infuriatingly bland. Absolutely nothing special about it whatsoever, for better or worse.

Overall Score

Averaging my numbers equals out to

But I will not tarnish my good name by rating this hot bowl of mac n cheeks so high, so it gets a

[cannedbeefaroni]

hii i really enjoyed your nsfw alphabet for eli sunday, i was wondering if you could write one for klitz? thanks hehe :3

Timothy Klitz NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s so caring and sweet. He holds his partner close and kisses their forehead. Usually he likes to cuddle and take a nap together after sex. He’s a very sleepy guy. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tiddies. He likes boobs. Even on a guy he likes the chest area, whether it be more soft and squishy or toned. By proxy he really likes nipples and areolas. 

His partner would obviously like his dick. He’s hung like a horse. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes to cum on his partner's face. Also their chest if given the chance. He likes seeing them covered in him. 

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He, like, totally has a crush on Eli. He also is an underwear thief. Yeah, it’s literally true. Becky told me. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He kissed a girl for a school play once and she instantly started crying and threw up. 

Yeah he’s a virgin. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mating press, because he’s romantic and sentimental and want to look into his partners eyes while they make love <3 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Yes. He will randomly say something that takes them out of the mood. He also sometimes makes cringe little jokes. A little bit of a jokester he is. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Smoother than a baby’s butt. He shaves everything. Even his ass crack. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He’s so romantic. He will proclaim his undying love during sex. He doesn’t even like calling it sex, he says love making. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

He sometimes does mutual masturbation with Eli. Uh it’s not gay if their dicks don’t touch. But maybe it is *eyebrow raise* 

Yeah he masturbates like twice a day. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He likes brat taming. He loves it when his partner is being annoying and whiny and he has to put them in their place, but he wouldn’t admit it. Overall he likes sub/dom dynamics like degradation and praise. He’s also into voyeurism and exhibitionism in theory, but in practice he’s hesitant about it. I don’t think he’d be all that freaky besides that.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He thinks it’s freaky to have sex anywhere else but a bed. So like on a desk or in a chair or against a wall would be super kinky to him. If he had public sex he’d combust.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

A beautiful soul :) 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn’t do non monogamy or casual hookups. He wants to be entirely devoted and loyal to one person and only make love to them. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s not very good at giving oral, but he fucking loves getting his dick sucked. He also loves throat fucking. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to go slow and sensual. If given permission he’ll go faster and rougher, but he’s not into that all the time. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes them in concept but he would always end up wanting more. Usually afterward he’d still feel needy. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Sometimes. He likes to play it safe but on occasion he likes to get freaky. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I think he’d have good stamina. *gets booed and has objects thrown at me* 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has a flesh light but doesn’t use it because it’s a bitch to clean out. I don’t think he’d be experienced with using toys during sex but he’d be open to trying.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He only teases as punishment. If his partner is well behaved he’d be super sweet. But once they give him attitude he’s very willing to deny their orgasm. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’d be quiet, but he makes a good amount of noise. Little high pitched “uh, uh, uh”s for the most part. He kinda sounds like a girl when he moans. 

W = Wild card (A random headcanon for the character)

If Eli asked him to be in a porno that he's directing, he would do it.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His dick is like 8 inches. Very intimidating. It’s disproportionate to his lanky body. It’s pretty thick. He’s circumcised (duh, he’s Jewish. At least I think he is). He has cute little sensitive perky nipples. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s pretty good at hiding his sex drive. He can act like he doesn’t care if he dates anyone or not. He doesn’t expect people to find him attractive. Internally he really really just wants to fuck something. 

Z = Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

He’s a sleepy guy. He likes to cuddle and snooze. He’s the type of person to get no sleep because he spends all night studying, so he can fall asleep in an instant.

[kayakischaotic]

PJO/HOO/TOA HEADCANONSSSS 🎉🎉🎉

WHOS READY TO RUMBLEE

also I haven’t read the books in awhile + I have terrible memory so o7

clears my throat

PERCY JACKSON:

—>all my faves had a emo phase. including Peter Johnson

—>he owns a BUNCH of different earrings, nothing too big or extravagant, but like a little fish, maybe an arrow, etc

—>dyes part of his hair blue because he’s Percy

—>Sally TOTALLY knew he was bi when he was little

—>has a bi flag necklace (I’m jealous)

—>once dyed his hair blonde while he was at camp and after everyone called him a dumb blonde he decided to never dye it blonde again

—>he totally loves having his hair played with cause Sally used to always play with his hair when he was a kid

—>his eyes change from blue to green depending on the lighting

—>he’s been the little mermaid for Halloween at LEAST once

—>has an extensive collection of Hawaiian shirts

ANNABETH CHASE:

—>she sticks a bunch of little pins on her Yankees hat

—>doesn’t know how to drive (at least not very well)

—>if she could she’d have road rage so much

—>probably owns at least 5 different pairs of earbuds/headphones that she uses on her iPod and/or Daedalus’s laptop

—>building a campus place similar to New Rome at CHB

—>instead of a box of chocolates for Valentines day, she once gave Percy a bag of M&M’s. but only the blue ones

—>drinks at least 3 cups of coffee most days

—>bi-curious/questioning

—>also questioning her gender a bit

—>read Harry Potter and couldn’t tell if she wanted to BE Hermione or be WITH Hermione (still can’t tell)

GROVER UNDERWOOD:

—>pan, ace

—>will eat anything if he’s stressed

—>has little rings he can put around his horns for added style

—>tism

—>he/they KING!!

—>will just snack on a head of lettuce

—>has to wear reading glasses (what a nerd /pos)

—>has an extensive knowledge of which plants around CHB taste good, and which taste bad (has definitely been taken to the medics once or twice for eating poisonous plants)

JASON GRACE:

—>everyone makes fun of him because of The Brick™️.

—>THEATER KID

—>will ramble to you about wolves for as long as you will let him

—>frequently dyes small strips of his hair with hair chalk

—>him and Annabeth are like best friends. please.

—>questioning

PIPER MCLEAN:

—>she ate the rest of the non-blue M&M’s for Annabeth

—>genderfluid she/her lesbian.

—>helps Hazel, Annabeth, and the other girls do their hair (and sometimes Percy)

—>sees Jason and Leo as her brothers

—>wears suits to fancy events

—>usually uses her charmspeak to win at board games

—>girl in red’s biggest fan

—>EVERYONES WINGMAN

LEO VALDEZ:

—>makes everyone friendship bracelets

—>will totally light candles just to watch them burn

—>pretends he’s Festus’s vet whenever he has to fix him

—>calls the Argo II his child

—>doesn’t have a proper sleep schedule in the slightest…

—>gay, demiboy

—>totally introduced everyone else to neo/xeno pronouns

—>he/they/it mainly, but also uses a bunch of neos and xenos

—>has a dragon stuffed animal he calls Festus Jr. that he struggles to sleep without

—>he is the autism creature /j

—>will call anyone in sight bro or dude

—>scared of heights

—>keeps calling himself “the rizzler”

REYNA AVILA RAMIREZ-ARELLANO:

—>therapist friend

—they/she

—demiromantic asexual

—>astrology lover

—>straight A student without trying or studying

HAZEL LEVESQUE:

—>the only person on the Argo II that can keep a plant alive (somehow)

—>unlabeled

—>her and Nico help paint everyone’s nails

—>is always wearing either a skirt or overalls. (better yet: overalls skirt)

—>lactose intolerant

—>totally holds a dance at Camp Jupiter that is similar to a school dance at least once a year

FRANK ZHANG:

—>token straight friend

—>has a fairly large stuffed animal collection (only to be rivaled by Octavian’s)

—>if he ever visits CHB he purposely avoids being near the fire

—>makes the rest of the 7 watch superhero movies with him

—>owns lots of comics

—>him and Percy ramble about superheroes and comics together

NICO DI ANGELO:

—>certified DJ of the 7

—>his favorite restaurant isn’t even McDonald’s.. (it’s Olive Garden /j)

—>if demigods could use technology, he would totally be a tumblr user. (happy (late) Ides of March)

—>THEATER KID

—>he keeps saying “gaslight gatekeep girlboss” and everyone is kinda confused

—>loves listening to 70s/80s/90s rock

—>is (attempting) to learn the drums

—>survives off of energy drinks and coffee

—>has a nightlight in his cabin for when Will visits

—>also listens to Crywank

WILL SOLACE:

—>definitely has dressed up as a lamp for Halloween

—>HE/THEY!!!

—> trying to convince Nico to be in a band with him, playing guitar, Austin, playing sax, and Apollo, playing flute (Nico’s not having it)

—>favorite color is “all of them”

—>attempts to grow plants (fails)

—>he would totally be addicted to Tiktok if he had it

—>if anyone asks what time it is he will respond one of three ways: “it’s time for lunch” “its game time” or “it’s time for you to get a WATCH”

—>he’s really bad at reading clocks

—>totally cried during Frozen

APOLLO/LESTER PAPADOPOULOS:

—>he/they bi icon

—>motto is “fake it til you make it”

—>adhd, probably

—>always looses board games

—>chronically online…

—>will purposely sing the wrong words to popular songs so half of CHB thinks they’ve been singing these songs wrong the entire time

—>him and Nico bond over saying things like “gaslight gatekeep girlboss”

—>scared of the dark

—>quotes Mean Girls at least once a day

—>trying to make a theater class at CHB (Chiron agrees, Dionysus is… not quite there yet)

—>surprisingly good at lying (fake it til you make it!)

—>some Aphrodite kids told him their skincare secrets while he was mortal and gave them a few products

—>wears eyeliner on a daily basis

—>when he was a mortal the Aphrodite cabin and his cabin played dress-up on him and made him wear a bunch of weird outfits

THATS ALL FOR NOW!!!!!

I bet you totally can’t tell who my favorites are by how much they have put down…. /s

TELL ME SOME OF YOUR HEADCANONS SO I CAN ADD THEM TO MY HOARD

[dekusleftsock]

THERES A DETAIL RIGHT THERE, I SEE A FLASHBACK

I mean theres a lot of flashbacks in this chapter tbf, but this one didn’t fit given the situation… UNLESS WE DIG DEEPER.

Well okay, you could read it as ochako making dekus heart lighter by changing the meaning of his nickname and the speech back at UA, and she’s finally done the same for toga.

BUT IF THAT WERE THE CASE WE WOULD BE FLASHING BACK TO THAT SPEECH!

This is deku talking about saving shigaraki, and as proven with ochako… there is a way to avoid a battle. On top of that, even before that memory, Himiko is talking to Ochako about how she was afraid to confront the feelings she had for her parents, because they made her FEEL BAD!

More and more the idea of confronting your feelings directly as they are is brought up again and again. Shoto says it during his fight with touya, about how he wished they could’ve yelled at each other sooner, because sometimes confrontation is needed.

Ochako and toga talk about the importance of having simple conversations about your feelings, no matter how big or small they seem to others. Because the feelings they have can make or break lives in this world.

And in both of these instances, Shoto and Ochako avoided an actual battle. Both of them simply neutralized them. Because they knew about the one they were trying to save, and genuinely cared about them.

Deku doesn’t know the first thing about shigaraki. He doesn’t accept shigaraki as he is now, rather the child that was created from him, that still exists. Saving someone with the justification of what they used to be doesn’t really seem like you care about them at all.

I’m not sure what this battle will bring. They’re both stubborn people who are the same. You could say that with Touya and Shoto, or even Himiko and Ochako, but lets be honest no one is as stubborn as deku. No one is as stubborn as shigaraki.

So what if shigaraki and dekus fight is about confrontation and feelings?

Oh good god I can’t wait for all the people who have been so mad about this fight and how it’s just been about feelings, and then we turn to the shigaraki vs deku fight and it’s also about feelings.

WE’RE GETTING OFF TRACK!

Toga is a lot like deku. And from her saying this, I just want deku to come to this realization. That it’s okay to talk about bad things, that it’s okay to have bad thoughts, and even bad emotions.

Just like Toga he can’t just slap a smile on his face all the time and pretend that his traumas didn’t happen. He can’t ignore what he’s bitter of, what he envies, and he also can’t ignore what he deeply, truly, loves.

God I got nothing else to say. The chapters speak for themselves. They’re gay, everyone’s gay, mha has always been pretty fucking gay.

ALSO DEKU SHOULD STOP BEING A LITTLE PUNK

(Also I’m expecting togachako/bkdk fic about how similar toga and deku are BY MONDAY 8AM SHARP) /j

[antxnous]

i need to hear your sallowgraham headcanons you are aware of this, correct?

well,, if u insist… ☝️😋

I have a feeing htis will be long winded and annoying so it’s all under here…

Pre-Legion stuff:

- Josh is a recent orphan and in Ed’s head his mom is practically dead (I hc she is lowkey a lil nuts) and they bond over this initially😙

-they’re both fucking losers. ppl in New Canaan think Joshua is weird and while Ed can make friends he’s like that one bully-friend we all had at some point where u eventually are like wait this guy sucks and u part ways. Joshua doesn’t bend to his bullying and that interests him, and Edward’s interest is exciting to Joshua.

-In my hc, Joshua’s dad was a trader and it’s why Joshua is so proficient in dialects and languages. His dad gave him a copy of Caesar’s Commentarii to practice Latin. When he’s trying to make friends with Edward at first, he offers to let him read it and this is how Ed gets the book hehe

-Bc they’re young men and young men are Like That, I think they fought a lot, verbally and physically. It was Bill’s hand that extended the offer to have Joshua translate and Joshua saw it as a sign from God to be useful and accepted without thinking about how fucking annoying Edward can be.

(Bill headcanon interjection moment, but he was 100% the only thing keeping them from both feeding off each other’s violence and ideas. When he’s gone is when the legion rly explodes, but also they get along MUCH better. Mask drop time??)

-Toward the end of the expedition, before getting to the Blackfoot, Joshua totally begged Edward to at least walk back with him to New Canaan before he went back to California and Edward was like “ok (ew)”

-… so when they created the legion and Josh saw that they’d continue doing this to other tribes as they pushed into Utah, he begged Edward to leave New Canaan alone and Edward was like “ew, but ok”

-Joshua’s clothes r fucked up, sewn together and patched like nothing else. Edward gives him his clothes to wear so he doesn’t look like such a rag doll.

Legion stuff:

-The crosses and crucifixions were Edward’s idea, the razing and heads-on-spikes-warnings were Josh’s ideas.

-Cringe aside joshua totally sees their relationship as a union, Ed’s been his only partner and they share a tent wayyy late into the Legion, even when they don’t have to. I dunno if Ed sees it the same way, but I think he’s just comfortable with what he has, and is probably aware Joshua sees it that way and feels it gives him an angle over him.

-In the earlier days, they would scavenge books for each other and spend nights reading them together 💔 their dates would include bookclub, hunting, hiking, and watching arena fights💔

-While Joshy-poo is a survivalist in my head, Edward is v educated and has (had?) a good background in anatomy from his studies and a few medical stuff Bill taught him when they left California. Joshua can make tea and healing powder, but Ed’s gonna throw pills at his head either way.

-I love an albino vulpes hc. Joshua wanted that thing DESTROYED, but Edward was like 💔 it’s a thing. and nearly tried to convince Joshua he could be their diversity hire son. But that was too gay.

-Every region they went thru, Joshua reimagined a homestead there instead of camps. He’ll always want his tradwife ranch.

-THEY BOTH WORE VESTS 💔 until Ed got too big for his

Post-Legion/Hoover Dam

-Ed shaved his head before Joshua was supposed to head for the Dam. Joshua usually cut his hair so he thought it was odd.

-A week before, Ed pestered Joshua about making sure he was going to take the Dam and Joshua was ofc very sure he was, he’s never lost before. He made up his mind already that if Josh lost he’d have to kill him, and even suggested he wait and strategise further, but Joshua insisted it was fine. Ed was already drafting letters to Lanius in case.

-After the Dam loss, Ed didn’t kill Josh immediately. He acted like nothing was wrong because he was struggling to go thru with it. Ed was just going to throw him down the Grand Canyon, but wanted him GONE, and ordered the pitch last minute. and they totally slept together beforehand

-Josh tried to climb back up the canyon at first hehe half confused, half angry.

-Ed’s decision to decimate New Canaan was 100% because of the promise he made Joshua before.

-Joshua leaves taunting messages on the bodies of the Frumentarii sent to kill him <3 love letters

-Edward couldn’t stand to be around cooked meat and open flame for a few weeks after Josh’s burn. #vegetarian

-Joshua and Edward both have recurring nightmares about that night for separate reasons.

nsfw hc?? I fear I’m too shy to share those. josh was a total submissive the first few years and then eventually they both got used to the power and control of their roles and sex became a dominating hate thing between them that they enjoyed but eventually it devolved into giving each other the laziest hj and bj youve ever seen

Hiiiii byeeeee love u

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 7

Featuring Twilight being both queer and homophobic, more deranged Rosalie fan dumb, and a random simping for Sarah J. Maas. On nom nom away

Twilight Is Homophobic AND Queer!!1!!

Or…and I’m just throwing it out there…Twilight is a romance and the romance genre are notoriously heterosexual???? To the point where one of its nastier tropes is the predatory gay villain (looking at you, Outlander)????

Hell, even now the number of homosexual characters in romances are low, mostly just limited to supporting characters. I suppose it’s improved in recent years, but even in fantasy romance you get, like, Mor from ACOTAR.

At least Clown OP has the self-awareness to know they are indeed writing fanfic.

But regarding the “Edward/Bella would never last and they would get divorced!!” clownery…what canonical basis is there even???? They could barely last six months apart without having a complete nervous breakdown. Yes, they are blinded by their own insecurities and delusions, but they eventually communicate and resolve their issues fairly easily. Their love proves greater and helps them overcome these.

You would think Kristen Stewart would have an easier time playing Bella if she were so obviously bi-coded. Instead we got the most awkward and ill-fitting performance of a major character in years, to the point where her version of the character is among the most hated film characters—ever. Part of it is definitely the stupid script and questionable direction, but there is also a matter of casting type. Bella is a modernized romance heroine while Stewart is a grounded indie actress who at BEST can play a major fantasy heroine—a more emotionally intelligent version of Katniss. Perhaps an animated TV show will be beneficial in that respect, in actually casting for the character.

Rosalie Fan Dumb

Bella: *wants to be a vampire*

Rosalie: How dare you, an autonomous individual different from me, make a completely different choice than what I would make!!!1!! 😡

Clown OP: Complexity 😍

Seriously, we have got to have a long talk about this fandom’s idealization of Rosalie resenting Bella her own autonomy and pissing on her own choices. Edward literally has the exact same position as Rosalie (except that homeboy doesn’t hate Bella for it and understands why) but he is criticized so much more harshly. What the hell is going on?

Also, Bella was gung-ho on becoming a vampire anyway, so this pregnancy did not change her plans in the slightest. Hell, it was her plan to get changed right after birthing Renesmee, so it was all on her terms. Let’s not pretend she was at any point coerced into vampirism! For all this whinging about Bella’s agency, it’s the anti fandom itself that refuses to acknowledge it.

Except that in Midnight Sun we do see Rosalie’s hostility from Edward’s POV and boy, is it super petty and irrational—she cannot even stand to be in the same room as Bella! It’s completely juvenile, which is well, par de course for vampires frozen in their adolescent state.

But again we have the victim blaming. Bella’s existence doesn’t endanger the Cullens; it’s the Cullens’ existence that endangers Bella, as Edward correctly notes and angsts about. The only way Bella endangers the Cullens is that she knows their secret—but of course, she would never tell, so it’s moot point. It’s not even on the table after the car accident scene.

Sarah J. Maas? You mean the author with prose like unseasoned rice? You mean the author with 80% of the most boring ass worldbuilding and 20% actual erotic sex scenes, her actual strength? You mean the author who literally turned her first love interest evil and stripped him of all his personality in the sequel just so that her female MC could end up with the fan favorite antagonist (who drugged her and made her dance suggestively in front of people)? That Sarah J. Maas? A better writer than Meyer? Really????