#she doesn't really get to show fear much in the game but this seems like a reasonable thing to be terrified of

[avicebro]

I apologize if I seem like I'm harping on Kiyohime a lot, I just don't tend to see a lot of fans of her. What do you like about the character? I don't remember a lot interesting about her beyond that one short-story Nasu wrote where she didn't recognize the origin Anchin as her Anchin.

I can kinda get that - besides friends in JP, I haven't really met too many people that like her on this side of the fandom, and I did just mention that the fandom made me shy about talking about her.

So! Some things I enjoy about Kiyohime:

I think it'd be rude not to talk about her design. BLACK, in my opinion, excels in designs that appear rather plain but have a bunch of cute details thrown in. I love her horn design, I love the gold accessories, I love the small references to dragons in her clothes. When the colour scheme goes to black/yellow/white too I think that's really good. It's really striking.

I like the cherry blossoms in the background - a subtle nod to the first fate 'yandere' (I don't think Sakura is a yandere, but yk, sometimes fate likes to say she is so it's a solid reference nevertheless). [Also, her outfit harkens back to Kohaku. Again, don't think Kohaku is a yandere but still.]

I understand why people don't really like how often she appears in things, and how she acts. And also the fact that fate presented her as a waifu and then turned around and went, haha, nope! She's actually a pre-teen! But I think like, if you view her from the angle of a young girl first experiencing love with Anchin, it makes a lot of sense. Was what she did a good thing for her do? No, of course not. Is it that odd for a 13-year old girl who has never experienced love before? No, not really. In that sense, I find that she's similar to Medea Lily in their #weirdgirl behaviour.

(it also makes her dynamic with elizabeth make a lot of sense. they're two teens who are fighting on stan twitter.)

In that sense, her age explains her dynamic with Ritsuka. After being remembered as the dragon that killed the first man she fell in love with, who ran from her out of fear and broke their promise, it is only natural for her to fall for Ritsuka. Someone who does not care about her history, who or what she is. And further, Ritsuka's reaction to Kiyohime, as time goes on, makes sense too - like imagine trying to calmly let down someone who's your little sister's age while worrying you'll end up just like the last guy. Ritsuka is a nice person - of course they don't wanna make the pre-teen cry.

I think it's fun to think about her friends, too. Like she has this fun, bickering dynamic with Liz (who, I understand, also did show up a lot in the early game and so people aren't as fond of her).

She's e-mail buddies with Tamamo and Osakabehime. I want to watch her TikTok.

Also, the turas realta making it so that Ritsuka pinky-promises to summon Kiyohime (a reference to Kiyohime being a free servant) is a cute little nod to Kiyohime's previous promise by Anchin being broken. I just think that's really sweet. Finally, a promise to Kiyo that isn't broken.

I will say she does suffer from early writing syndrome, and she was often treated as the butt of a joke just like Liz or Nero. Unfortunately, unlike those two, she didn't have anything else besides some one-off lines by Tamamo in /Extra. And so I do understand why she's disliked, especially since she was so prevalent in early game (story chapters, other people's valentine's day scenes/interludes).

But I think it says something about how much people enjoyed her showing in Shimousa, even if it wasn't 100% her. And unlike the other yanderes we have in fate, despite all the stuff I've mentioned above, I think she definitely has the opportunity for more growth. We haven't really seen her since fate officially confirmed that she's a child. It'd be nice to see if that important element to her character affects her writing in the event. And heck, if it doesn't, that's cool! Compared to other popular servants, 7 years is a pretty long between relevancy all things considered.

One thing to note too is that her voice actress was unable to voice act due to illness - hence why we only just got Marie Alter this year. With Marie Alter and now an outfit for Kiyohime, it feels like a very nice 'welcome back' to one of the first voice actors to really make F/GO it is.

But fuck whatever Riyo does with her like dude your thinly veiled vore fetish is making it so hard to defend Kiyohime omg.

[mumms-the-word]

(Im)possible Odds

Day 10 of the BG3 Fic February Challenge

So.....I have always sort of thought that Gale's little scene when he sees the Elder Brain in Moonrise was rushed as hell. Especially if you romance him. Man does a 180 so fast it's a wonder he doesn't start the fight Dazed or Off Balance.

So I thought I'd fix that a little.

For dramatic purposes you are welcome to either imagine companions in the background being like "GET A ROOM" or pretend they have slunk off to get a different vantage point for the fight, leaving Gale and Dani conveniently alone to be dramatic as they please

Check out my masterlist of BG3 fics!

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10. A tearful, hard kiss before battle. Bonus points if it’s a confessional kiss!

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Dani hid herself behind a structure of mixed stone and flesh, watching with growing horror as the elder brain rose slowly into the air, dripping brine from the green pool below. An elder brain, extremely powerful and dangerous, lashed to control by the three figures that stood below it. 

How could they possibly fight something like that? Maybe if they had weeks to plan, to prepare, maybe if she had twelve kingdoms worth of explosives, or an army of her own, maybe—but a handful of them? Even she couldn’t fool herself.

Dani was not a fighter, or at least, she wasn’t a good fighter. In the shadow of that thing, she felt small. Insignificant. She’d never felt so tiny in her life. Her heart started to race and her vision grew fuzzy. She reached out a hand to grip the stone next to her, not even noticing when her fingers gripped into fleshy illithid matter instead.

“Look at that crown,” Gale whispered. She turned her head to find him standing practically at her shoulder, his gaze fixed solidly on the brain. He looked…awed. Enthralled. “It radiates with power unlike anything I’ve ever seen. To have it…to hold…” He shook his head slightly. “If only I could…”

A new fear gripped her chest, warring with the panic that was threatening to choke her from the presence of the elder brain. There was a look in his eyes that she did not like. 

Hunger.

“Gale…?”

He didn’t seem to hear her. He stared at the brain for another several seconds before closing his eyes tightly. “No. I can’t. I…” 

He paused, his expression almost pained. Then he opened his eyes to meet her gaze. “This is it. The moment we’ve…I’ve…been waiting for. I must do as Mystra commands.”

There was no fighting the panic that welled up in Dani then. What he was suggesting—no. The orb? Here? It wouldn’t just kill the brain, it would kill him—and her, and everyone within a city-wide radius. Yes, defeating the brain right now felt insurmountable but to resort to the orb…

“You can’t,” she whispered hoarsely. She shook her head and took a step closer to him. “Gale, no, you can’t. You can’t condemn all of us like that. We’ll find another way, we’ll think of something else, we—“

“What other choice do we have?” Gale interrupted. He flung out a hand toward the brain and the figures controlling it. “Do you see the size of that thing? Do realize what’s controlling it, what is giving it that kind of power? More than just a goddess counts on my courage in this moment, Dani. Whole worlds hang in the balance.”

“We’ll find another way,” Dani said, but even she could hear the desperation in her voice. The clock was ticking. She could feel the waves of power emanating off the brain, a mix of illithid power that felt all too familiar and some sort of sick, twisted magic that threatened to buckle her knees if she let it. She couldn’t let him use the orb but she didn’t know what else to do either.

She reached out a trembling hand and gripped the front of his robe. “Gale. Please. Don’t do this. There has to be another way.”

“Another way to fight an elder brain? Dani.” He took her shoulders in her hands, gripping them tightly. “I don’t want to do this. But what choice do we have? It could be over. Just like that. If you get a head start—you have spells that can get you safety. I’ll stay here, and—“

“No!” She shook him using her hold on his robe. Gods, she wanted to slap him, hoping he’d see sense, but she knew that was just her panic fueling her head with terrible ideas. “Stop it. Please.”

Her voice broke on the last word, tears welling up into her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She ignored them, tightening her hold on his robe and giving him another little shake.

“Please,” she whispered. “I don’t care what Mystra ordered. I don’t care that I’m terrified of that thing out there. You can’t do this.”

He stared at her, taken aback. It was the first time he’d seen her cry, she realized, the first time she’d admitted to being truly, genuinely frightened of something. She swallowed, reaching out to grip his robe with both of her hands. 

“Choose me instead,” she said, blinking away the next wave of tears. “The one who loves you. Choose me. We’ll find another way. We’ll figure something out.”

He swallowed hard, his hands still on her shoulders. “Dani…”

“Please, Gale. I love you.”

He looked from her to the brain behind her, eyes momentarily watching whatever the figures were doing in the distance. Then he nodded and looked back down at her. “I love you too. Much more than myself. More even than Mystra.”

He closed his eyes again, as if fighting briefly with his decision. But when he met her gaze again, there was determination in his dark eyes. His hold on her shoulders tightened.

“I choose you,” he said softly. “Whether I condemn this world or not. I choose you.”

His hands cradled her face and he bent his head, bringing his lips to hers in a crushing kiss that took her breath away and sent her reeling. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, forcing him to shift his hold on her but never breaking the kiss. She parted his lips with her tongue, deepening the kiss, feeling him shiver when her sharp teeth briefly caught his bottom lip.

If this was the last kiss she would share with this man she would damn well make it worth it.

They parted for air, breathless, their gazes locked. As he reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks, she brushed her thumb against the magic-darkened veins that trailed from his left eye down toward his neck. 

“I hope you realize I don’t have a plan for fighting that thing out there,” she said, before she could think better of it. “We could both die anyway and make everything worse. Not that I want you to change your mind but—“

“But a chance with you is better than guaranteed death at Mystra’s command,” he said. He kissed her again and she suppressed the urge to hold him to her and kiss him for another five minutes straight. “I chose you. I love you. I’m not going to change my mind.”

“You’re with me, then?” she breathed. “Whatever happens down there, whatever we have to fight?”

He nodded. “I’m with you. All the way, Dani.”

“Good. I—good.” She hesitated, wanting to say more, but coming up with nothing. So she just kissed him one last time.

“For luck,” she said. “Call it bardic inspiration.”

A smile flickered on his lips, even as she pulled away, out of his embrace. “Consider me more than inspired…my love.”

Together they turned to set their eyes on the elder brain, and prepare for whatever would come next. Dani wound her fingers with his, squeezing tightly. Whatever happened, they would do this together. Not Mystra’s way.

Her way.

------------------------------------

BONUS: an endgame scene for you friendlies.

Dani paused at the base of the Netherbrain’s stem, clutching a stitch at her side, trying to catch her breath from their sprint up the crumbling ruins of High Hall. Gods. Did the brain have to be so stupidly high up?

Gale was at her side, barely out of breath having misty-stepped his way through. Together they craned their heads up to look at the brain.

“The brain,” he said. “It’s high above the city now—far away from any innocents.”

Dani straightened and looked at him, setting her hands on her hips as she caught her breath. They had fought their way through and still had a big fight ahead, but she was feeling confident. Perhaps over-confident. They had an army of allies at their call and a dozen boons and blessings to strengthen them in the battle. She didn’t want to say victory was assured, but it was looking damn near possible.

“I hope you realize that I don’t have a plan for fighting that thing up there,” she said.

He smiled slightly and looked skyward. “You always think best on your feet, my love.” He paused, his expression shifting, growing grave. “I…you know I can end this now. Stop the Absolute and spare the city.”

She looked sidelong at him and crossed her arms. “Gale.”

“I mean it, Dani. The stage is set for my final act.”

She tilted her head, a little exasperated. They had just talked about this. “Gale.”

“You’ve brought me right where I need to be—“

“Gale.” She reached out and took hold of his robe, pulling him into a deep, lingering kiss. Silencing all his words, all his logic, all his lingering doubts. When she pulled away, he looked a little dazed.

“I’m not letting you get away that easily,” she said softly. “Choose me, Gale. The one who loves you.”

“I…but…”

“We can do this.” She cupped his cheek in her hand. “Do you remember what you told me, when we first saw the elder brain in Moonrise? When you chose me then?”

He nodded slowly. “A chance with you is better than guaranteed death at Mystra’s command.” He looked back up at the brain, and then once more to her. “Dani, if you’re mistaken, this could be the end of everything. We will be failing, right as the last hurdle.”

“Fail? Us?” She grinned. “When have you ever known us to fail?”

“I shall avoid answering that with what I know to be an entire catalogue of anecdotes but…” He returned her grin with a soft smile of his own. “I know I have only made it this far thanks to you. So who am I to question such sterling guidance now?”

She tilted her head, smoothing the wrinkles she’d made in his robe. “Good. So. A kiss for luck?”

“Always, my love.” He leaned in and kissed her, soft and sweet and lingering. 

She ruined it with a smile, whispering against his lips, “A little bardic inspiration to get you through.” 

She pulled away and took a step back, indicting the brain stem with her head. “Now. Let’s go kick some massive cerebral ass.”

[girlgenius1111]

a cure for frustration

warnings: angst. hurt / comfort. smut. 18+.

You knew from the moment you saw her hop away from the challenge that something was wrong. You felt fear squeeze your heart as you sat on the sub bench, eyes following her every movement. As play continued, Alexia stayed out of the way, walking, and flexing her knee repeatedly. Her knee. You clutched the seat beneath you, knuckles turning white. You heard Claudia say something to you, but you were too were focused on Alexia, wiling her to resume playing, running, anything to show you that she was ok.

You watched as a break in play was called, and Alexia walked over to the sidelines, trainers on her within seconds. You couldn't make out what she was saying, but she was definitely motioning to her knee. You made eye contact, and the fear in her eyes was clear. Play resumed, and she moved to walk over to the sub bench, taking a careful seat next to you, a trainer kneeling in front of her, examining her knee.

"Ale. What is it?" You tried to ask in a calm voice, but you don't think you were very successful, as her hand came to grip yours for a brief moment.

"I don't know. Her knee just drilled right into mine. It doesn't feel right, I don't think it feels right," she responded, and you could hear her voice shaking, as she avoided eye contact with you, opting instead to stare at the gloved hands probing her knee. You wanted nothing more than to pull her into your arms, tug her much taller body into yours, and hold her until the look of fear left her eyes. You couldn't. Not here. Instead, you looked to the trainer in front of her, as he withdrew his hands from her.

"It doesn't seem like anything is wrong. It was probably just a hard blow. We can do scans if you want them, but I really think it's ok" he stated, clearly trying to settle Alexia's nerves. She took a deep breath, thinking, before looking up, jaw clenched, face devoid of emotion.

"Can I go back in?"

"Alexia-" you started, but were cut off by a hand on your knee, calloused fingers squeezing gently in reassurance, and you fell silent, looking at the trainer for an answer.

"If you feel like you can, yes. We'll get scans at the half just in case" he responded, turning behind him to Jonatan, who nodded at Alexia. The midfielder rose from her seat, glancing down at you once, almost as if to reassure you that she was alright. You murmured a soft "good luck," and she was back on the pitch.

You watched, eagle eyed, as she ran across the field, clearly in some discomfort, but running nonetheless. You took a breath, refocusing yourself. You needed to be prepared to sub in, and letting your mind run in circles about your girlfriend was not going to help anyone. You focused on the game instead, not allowing your eyes to track Alexia around the pitch. You saw Esmee's goal, or Alexia's goal rather, and didn't let yourself think about how social media would tear your sweet girlfriend to pieces over her ensuring they scored. You didn't let yourself think about, or feel any of it.

The first half came to a close, and you fell in step with Alexia as she headed into the locker room. She stopped you outside the door to the medical room, and turned to look at you, expression still unreadable.

"Go to the locker room. You need to be with the team, and warm up. I'm fine. I promise" she said all of this very quietly, her green eyes looking into yours. She was still being Alexia, captain of the team, two time Balon D'or winner, not your Ale, her words monotone, expressing none of the love that normally seeped into her voice when she spoke to you. You knew this is what she needed, to stay clinical and disconnected until she knew more, that allowing herself to be anything but emotionless would be too hard. So you nodded, squeezing her arm once.

"You're right, you are fine. I'll see you after" you kept your voice just as disconnected, just as emotionless, as you saw a small smile grace her lips, before she turned, entering the room. You returned to the locker room, knowing you needed to get your head on straight.

-------

The second half passed at a torturous pace, with you subbing on around the 60th minute. You pushed Alexia out of your mind again, throwing yourself into the game, pretending you weren't dying to dash off the field to find out what the scans showed. When the final whistle blew, you shook hands with your opponents and your teammates, trying to decide how long you needed to stay on the pitch for before going to find Alexia. You were still deciding when you felt Mapi come to stand next to you. You'd already shaken hands, but she pulled you into a hug anyway, her face sympathetic.

"Go find her. I'm sure she's fine, but you won't relax until you see her, so just go. I'll cover for you," she spoke quietly into your ear, pulling away from the hug at the end, and smiling at you.

"Thank you, Mapi," was all you could get out before you were on your way into the building, waiting until you were out of sight before you broke into a sprint towards the medical room. You opened the door, heart plummeting when you found it empty. 50 different options of where Alexia might be flew through your head, each one more horrifying than the last. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath and think like a rational person, you turned, heading toward the locker room.

You walked in, and let out a relieved sigh at the sight of Alexia sitting in her locker, hair wet, looking at her phone. She looked up when she heard you arrive, you crossed the room instantly, crouching down in front of her, laying a gentle hand on her knee. You looked up at her, the question you were terrified to ask on the tip of your tongue. She brushed a piece of hair off your flushed face gently, before telling you, "It's fine. The scans were normal. I think I just freaked out."

She seemed slightly embarrassed at this, but you felt all the tension leave your body at her words, letting your forehead fall to rest on her knee. She chuckled above you, resting a hand on your back.

"What, were you worried about me or something?"

You looked up at her with a glare, not enjoying her teasing.

"Not worried for you. Just worried about how insufferable you'd be if you had to sit out again," you retorted, allowing a smile onto your face so she knew you were kidding.

She threw her head back at that, and laughed.

"You're right. It would be so unfortunate for you if I was out of commission for a while. I know how desperate you get" she quirked an eyebrow at you, an easy grin playing on her lips and you felt heat rush to your face, indescribably glad that the locker room was empty. You looked up at her, breath caught in your throat at her words, entranced by her long eyelashes, her full lips, her bright eyes. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, her phone buzzed, and her eyes flew to it, smile falling from her lips. You watched as she read the message, how her eyes hardened at whatever she was looking at.

"What-"

"Shower. Get dressed," she paused, looking down at you with a familiar glint in her eyes. "We have things to do at home." There was no mistaking her meaning, and the speed with which your concern for whatever she had read on her phone left your brain was almost embarrassing. You stood, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek, and turned to your own locker, vowing to get ready to go in a record amount of time.

-------

The car ride home was a different kind of torturous. Alexia driving was a sight to see normally, but today, it really did something to you. Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she glanced over at you, or the way her hand rested high up on your thigh. Her hand placement shouldn't have made you as desperate as it had, but there you were, doing everything you could to sit still and ignore the heat pooling in your lower abdomen. You were doing too good of a job acting unaffected, apparently, because Alexia started to softly rub her thumb back and forth over your clothed thigh. You held your breath, willing yourself not to let out a sound. You eventually had to exhale, however, and it came out sharper and less controlled than you intended. Alexia looked over at you, lips curling up at the edges, before she returned her gaze to the road.

"Something wrong, amor?" She asked, and you swore she was making her voice raspier on purpose. You shook your head in response, deciding your best bet was to stay quiet until you had to speak. She laughed quietly, as she turned into the parking garage. Pulling into her spot, she threw the car in park, veins popping on her hands as she maneuvered the gearshift. She got out of the car quickly, leaving her bag behind, walking over to your door. Knowing better than to open it yourself, you waited until she pulled it open, offering a hand down to you that you took. You stepped out of the car, and she shut the door behind you, placing a possessive hand on your back. You repressed a shudder at the contact, wishing that it wasn't this easy for Alexia to get you so hot and bothered. You could feel wetness pooling in between your legs, from only a few touches and a few smirks, and you hoped that Alexia was in a mood that would appreciate it.

"Vamos, amor. We have things to do" she spoke the words centimeters from your ear, and you quickened your pace, leading the way into the elevator and up to your apartment. The minute you got inside the apartment, she was on you, lips pressing into your neck, arms wrapping around your abdomen, pulling you back into her. Her lips and tongue worked roughly against the sensitive skin of your neck, and you knew she was already leaving a mark. You managed to turn the groan that tried to work its way out of your lips into a heavy breath, causing her to pull her lips away from you. You felt her hot breath on your ear before she spoke.

"No no, bebé. Good girls let me hear how good I make them feel."

At this, you let out a small whimper, allowing your head to fall back against her shoulder. You felt her smile against your neck, her hands pressing back into your abdomen, making you grind back against her. You let her control your motions for a minute, before the contact became not enough, and you turned your head into her neck, knowing exactly how to get what you wanted.

"Ale. Please, baby."

"Already begging? I've barely touched you," she smirked, "tell me what you want, and maybe I'll give it to you"

"Take me to bed, Alexia."

With that, she stepped away from you, turning you around before wrapping her arms around your waist, easily lifting you into your arms, as your legs came to wrap around her. Your lips found hers, and you sighed at the feeling, her tongue sliding into your mouth as she walked you blindly back into the bedroom. Laying you on the bed, she crawled on top of you, never letting your lips lose contact from hers. You made out messily for several minutes, your hands sliding up under her shirt, as hers held her weight above you. She shifted slightly, pressing her knee against your core, and you shuddered, lips stilling against hers. Encouraged by your reaction, she pressed harder against you, and you leaned your head back, inhaling deeply as your hips ground down against her. She pulled back, and your eyes flew open, seeing her kneeling over you, tugging at your shirt, the question unspoken. You nodded, and she pulled it up and over your head, pulling her own off as an after thought.

She leaned back down, immediately connecting her lips to your chest, leaving messy kisses as she trailed over to your nipple, taking it into her mouth and running her tongue over it. Her fingers came up to play with your other nipple, and you closed your eyes again, one hand fisting in the soft comforter, the other coming up to tangle in Alexia's freshly blonde hair. You tried to press her closer to you, and she smiled against you, switching sides to focus on your other nipple. You looked down at her then, and the sight of her staring up at you as her mouth worked against your chest made you crazy. You tugged her back up, until her mouth was level with yours, and tried to connect your lips again. She kept her face just out of reach, however, staring down at you. She was a sight to see. Pupils blown, hair falling freely around her shoulders are she gazed down at you, her eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes. You let out a little whine, hoping she'd appreciate the desperation, and let you kiss her, but suddenly her weight was off your body, and you felt her hands on the waistband of your shorts. Pushing yourself up onto your elbows, you met her eyes where she stood at the edge of the bed, prepared to pull your shorts off.

"Si?" She questioned, looking at you with a softer expression than you'd seen on her all night. You nodded, but she made no further movements, simply raising an eyebrow at you.

"Si, Ale. Si." you responded, desperate for her to get on with it. Satisfied, she stripped your lower half. She moved to climb back on top of you, but you stopped her, sliding a finger under the waistband of her own shorts. Looking down at you, Alexia smiled, making you ask for what you clearly wanted.

"You too" you said, and she replaced your hands at her shorts and underwear, pulling them off slowly, never breaking eye contact with you. Satisfied, you leaned back onto your elbows, happy to take whatever she gave you. Still standing at the edge of the bed, she trailed a single finger down your thigh, her touch feather light, as she traced the various marks and scars along your legs.

If her goal was to make you beg, she didn't have to wait long. You'd been aching for her since she'd spoken to you in the locker room, and you'd never been one to shy away from asking for what you wanted. Especially when it seemed to bring Alexia a fair amount of pleasure to hear your words.

"Baby, please put your mouth on me," you whined. Her eyes darkened at your words, and suddenly she was laying in between your legs, her tongue running through you, and you were falling back onto the mattress. She hummed against you, enjoying the reaction she got out of you and you jerked your hips up against her. Her tongue circled your clit slowly, as her strong hands grabbed your thighs, bringing them up to rest on her shoulders. She moved her mouth down slightly lower, eyes falling shut as she let herself fall into the movements, knowing exactly what you needed from her. Her tongue collected the abundant slick that was leaking out of you, pushing into your entrance, as her nose rubbed against your clit. Your moans filled the room, as did the sounds of her mouth moving against you. You reached a hand down to tangle in her hair, pulling her closer to you.

"More. Need your fingers" you gasped out, body twitching around Alexia's head. She chuckled against you, the vibrations making you jerk up again into her. She moved your leg off one of her shoulders, and pushed your knee to bend, spreading your legs for her. Her mouth moved back up, toying with your clit again, this time her teeth grazing against it every so often. She teased your pussy with one of her fingers, before sinking it into you all at once, relishing in the unholy noise that left your mouth. She added a second finger almost instantly, pulling her mouth away to look at you. Your head was thrown back against the mattress, one hand with the comforter twisted in your fist, the other still in Alexia's hair. You looked absolutely wrecked, eyes tightly shut, your whole upper body flushed red as you gasped for breath against her movements.

She returned her mouth to you with renewed passion, the sight of you enough to make her frantic to make you come. She sucked your clit into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it insistently, as her fingers curled inside of you, hitting the spot she had memorized, sending your hips bucking up into her mouth. Your walls clenched around her fingers, and she knew you were close before you said it.

"Jesus. Fuck! I'm so close." Your words were barely understandable, broken up by whimpers and moans, as you neared your peak.

"Come for me bebé" she murmured the words against you, and you let go, waves of pleasure washing over you as you fell over the edge, hand gripping her hair tightly. You yelled out her name as you came, and she worked you through it, slowing her fingers and tongue until your body unclenched, and you fell limp against the mattress. She pulled her mouth away from you, allowing her fingers to still inside of you. Resting her head on your thigh, she looked up at you, an arm thrown over your eyes as you panted. If you had looked at her then, you would have been overwhelmed by the obvious love in her eyes, as she patiently waited for you to calm down a little more. She pulled her fingers out of you, bringing them directly up to her tongue, cleaning them off with a moan.

You looked down at her then, your own gaze meeting hers as she pulled her fingers out of her mouth with a filthy sound. Alexia crawled up the bed, pulling you to lay against your chest, and you sighed into her, relishing in the comfort only she could bring you. Her hands rubbed your back softly, but her intent was clear as the moved lower to grab at your ass. You moved your head to look up at her, chin resting on her chest, and her lips curved into a grin looking down at you.

"Más?" she asked quietly, already knowing your answer. In response, you connected your lips to hers again, pushing yourself up to straddle her hips.

------

part 2? ive never really written fanfiction before... or smut... so I genuinely don't know if this is awful or not. if you want a part 2 of this let me know :). I was originally just gonna write it all at once but i'd rather know if people want to see more or not. Planning more smut for part 2, along with the reader discussing alexia's knee with her [what is a fic without hurt comfort]. let me know if you want to see anything specific :)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Wanted to ask, is Eridan's relationship with his dad ok? Like when Eridan was learning how to use his harpoon gun he seemed very much distressed and not enjoying any of it

The only real canon characterization we have of seahorsedad is that the version of him that's Cronus's lusus is "stern, fatherly" and that he ditches Cronus for Hussie, although that last one is mostly just a Bit so I don't really count it as characterization. He's also willing to go along with Eridan "doing something ridiculous," though, again, that's kind of a Bit and it's unclear how canon that is.

((cw for abuse and stuff beneath the readmore))

As such, pretty much anything I say is going to be pure extrapolation that serves my characterization of Eridan, and I can't really back it up with hard textual evidence. But, personally, I think Eridan believes his relationship with his lusus is "good" in the way that many children growing up beneath strict, emotionally neglectful, and even outright abusive parents do.

We know that Eridan has very few friends. He doesn't even really talk to half the people in their group chat, and according to Feferi, he's never spent more than a few days underwater, total, in his whole life. Add onto that that lusus murder (and, by extension, the culling of the orphaned troll) has been his duty long enough that he describes it is "the only thing i evver did," I think it's a reasonable assumption to make that he also has no IRL friends, aside from Feferi.

And to give an idea of how old Eridan was when he started having to murder lusii, here's how old Vriska was when she was expected to start feeding spidermom:

This, and the fact that Dualscar was called "Orphaner" because the job of feeding Gl'bgolyb was his even into adulthood (as he lived before the Summoner's rebellion and the removal of adult trolls from Alternia), and the fact that no one, including Feferi, ever shows any gratitude towards Eridan for performing the job, supports the idea that feeding Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's responsibility. After all, Feferi makes overtures about not being better than other trolls, but she sure does revel in being royalty when she can get away with it. It'd be in character for her to not be particularly grateful to Eridan because she sees lusus murder as fundamentally being his responsibility, especially if he started when they were both REALLY young.

In other words, Eridan was expected to start murdering lusii (and by extension, other trolls) from the moment he was old enough to do so, which, judging by how old Vriska was when she started killing trolls for Spidermom, is not very old at all.

Also, given the lifespan of violet bloods, it's entirely possible - and my personal belief - that Seahorsedad was Dualscar's lusus as well as Eridan's. Even without that being the case, since it was always Eridan's job to hunt and kill lusii, the biggest possible culprit for inducting him into his role would be his lusus.

And let's be clear, I think the fact that having to murder lusii/trolls is the biggest culprit for what's fucked Eridan up the most. The pressure of having the safety of the entire race on his shoulders, the fear of Gl'bgolyb and what happens if he ever fails, and the guilt of taking lives (which we do know Eridan thinks about) have left him with genuine struggles caring about other people, a nasty martyr complex (which isn't unjustified), extremely unstable and negative emotions, shattered interpersonal relationships, and a deep, nihilistic sense of resignation towards his place in society. The latter has directly led to him attempting to embrace that place by tricking himself into thinking he believes in hemocasteist, sea dweller supremacy rhetoric - which his actions contradict - because, without the game's intervention, he had no other options available for him but to become a key figure in the imperial army, continue murdering other sapient creatures until he died, and watch all his few friends die before him, either when they got culled, killed on the battlefield, or purely dropped dead of old age.

And, like... a parent who does that to their child, even if we assume the absolute best (that Seahorsedad does genuinely care about Eridan), can't possibly have a fully healthy relationship with said child. And I think it's not unreasonable to assume that the best is not what's happening between Eridan and Seahorsedad, because Eridan's psychological profile is so fucked up that I highly doubt he was receiving much, if any, actual affection or support from his lusus. Personally, I think his lusus was "stern and fatherly" in the worst possible way - high expectations, no emotional warmth, and complete disregard for Eridan's psychological well-being, as long as he was producing adequate results.

Because Eridan craves attention, and has very little distinction between good and bad attention. He's naive and trusting to a fault, hardly ever suspects anybody of lying to him, and has basically no social skills. These all say to me that Seahorsedad is just, like... not giving him any emotional attention at ALL.

And poor Eridan is just 13 years old - still too young to fully realize how poorly he's being treated by people who are supposed to care about him. Like, yeah, he's completely obnoxious and exhausting to talk to, and you can't really blame Feferi or Kanaya for being sick of listening to him, but at the same time, some of the shit they do to him as a result is honestly just mean. Like Kanaya is just actually bullying him- training him up to be a wizard as a joke, shitting on him behind his back with Rose, making fun of him to his face - and yet:

He's just that fucking desperate for people to care about him and support him; I can't help but think he's just not getting that at home, you know?

So I think if you asked Eridan, he'd say that his relationship with his lusus was good, and that his lusus was proud and noble and stoic, and absolutely a great custodian, and there were no problems at all.

But I think if you were to dig deeper into their relationship, you'd start to hear worrying things like that Eridan never got to celebrate Twelfth Perigrees, and was instead dragged out to go lusus hunting because it was particularly easy to do so on that day. Or that his lusus had to pull the trigger FOR him the first time they ever went hunting, because his own hands were shaking too hard. Or that he'd be locked out of the hive every time he cried, until he stopped crying altogether. Or that he thinks he's never been sick a day in his life because he was never allowed to have an off day and not go hunting and now he's just used to ignoring any and all symptoms. So on and so forth.

He reacts EXTREMELY POORLY to Feferi saying she feels like she needed to look after him - more poorly than to the initial news that she was trying to break up with him:

And I think that's because weakness was punished in his household growing up. He wasn't allowed to be weak - he was nobility, royalty. He had duties, responsibilities. If he faltered, their whole race died. And when you consider the fact that "you have to kill things for the good of everyone you care about, all the time, constantly," is the abject lesson that's been hammered into him since he was old enough to walk and talk, the fact that he's so incredibly fucking adamant about murdering angels starts to be a little... sad. He's just stuck in that mindset. He doesn't know how to escape it.

So... yeah. In summary: his relationship with his dad is great!

[ratboyy-withtheexistentialdread]

Nevermore Chapter 97

Spoilers ahead, lads. Skedaddle if you don't fast pass. EDIT I guess I’ve said too much in this post and need to pull it back a little. So imma gonna edit it so it doesn’t say too much about this chapter.

Alright, first my reaction cause HOLY HELL those last few panels really got me like

I really had to put my phone down and talk myself through them. Now, lets talk about what I gained from this chapter and the infamous Annabel Lee. I've noticed, at least in the comment section, the fandom really doesn't care for Annabel's character and its difficult to know where the animosity has come from. Tumblr obviously loves her but us heathens support women's rights and wrongs (Don't we gents?) Many call her a sociopath or what’s happens in the last few panels. Annabel is indeed ruthless, calculating and stone cold but she obviously cares. She cares for Lenore above everything. It can be easy to see this as obsession as we really haven't seen her care about much else or even herself. But one comment on the Webtoon brought up a very valid point which I've also picked up on.

Annabel and Lenore in life were very isolated and broken people when they met one another. Annabel, broken and then rebuilt into a prim and proper lady. Lenore, broken physically and mentally and closed off from the world.

Meeting each other saved them. They were no longer alone. There was an understanding between them at least that we know of.

Their differences though is what divides them in death.

Annabel played games, and masked her true self around her father and family connections. She now makes games of situations to retain what little control she had in life over a society she knew she could never break the rules of. A Game that was always rigged against her.

Lenore rebelled against society. She fled the estate to escape a suitor, was bound to the attic and ostracized by her family, she then faked her death and posed as man to court Annabel, the one person who cared for her.

Lenore wants to break the rules of the deans Death Game. Annabel wants to follow them.

It’s all they’ve ever known.

Before it was only them that mattered. Now Lenore has so much more to fight for and Annabel still only has Lenore. Both are right in their own way of playing the game but it pains the other to witness.

Annabel, I’m sure is aware that the Deans are not all they seem to be and won’t simply allow the students to turn the tables on them if they played how Lenore wants to.

And playing Annabel’s way means the callous death of many many people that do deserve another chance at life.

Now. I do have to agree with Annabel in the sense that Lenore forgets

This is a Death Game

Right now the “villainous” characters show their true face with pride and the “hero’s” are charming and true but as we get down to the wire, it’s going to get grey. There are no good or bad at the end of these games, only survival.

Could Annabel show some restraint and more tact when speaking strategy and making plans with Lenore? Absolutely. She’s little too giddy about sweeping some pieces off the board.

Lenore also needs to stop being so naive. She saw first hand what exactly the Deans are capable of in Dreamland, it put the fear of god in her.

In fairness to both characters though they and we are still missing big pieces of what happened between them and what their causes of death were. Which could hold big aspects of their characterization.

Maybe Lenore was originally very callous about others. In life, aside from Theo and Annabel, we’ve never really seen her interact with others. Perhaps this is the Lenore Annabel speaks of.

Anyway, I’m rambling. In conclusion, I’m a bit disappointed in Nevermores comment section. I enjoy Annabel’s character although some parts do worry me a bit but I have hope Red and Flynn have plans to curve this to a satisfying reason and conclusion.

That cliffhanger, boy howdy, what the fuck is Lenore gonna do…

[thiriann]

The Ascension and the sexual implications of it

We all remember the post from a few weeks ago that circled here. I didn't go through with the Ascension from a purely game sense "this is clearly evil " standpoint. I didn't really understand why it's evil or even more why it's sexual. Some analyses have floated around here and tumblr that mentioned it's because "vampires are a sexy fantasy". Well, yes but you're getting a vampire either way, aren't you?

I didn't manage to connect the dots until I started looking into possible ways for him to walk in the sun. It seems the only reliable one is a “Wish” spell. But that seems to turn the vampire mortal again. Now, that didn't sit right with me. If Ascension was changing him, this was even more of an "I'll fix him" situation. But I thought, would he even agree? He's so power hungry probably giving up on being a vampire would be the last thing he'd agree on. But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that he actually has a strong dislike for being a vampire. If you tell him his reflection is a small price to pay for vampire powers he answers "To you, maybe." He loves seeing the sun again, all the colors. He can't see or remember his eyes, which if we take into literary view, eyes being the windows to the soul we could say it shows his disconnect with his soul, with his humanity. He absolutely hates the hunger urges that come with vampirism, saying they make him pathetic and it's the worst version of himself. And of course, the sexual part. He hasn't actually seen any perks of vampirism, just that it makes you an object of desire, a thing used only for sex. That is the only side of vampirism he has managed to experience and that is what he connects it with.

The point in the story that clearly connects his vampire nature to sexuality is the talk with the blood merchant. She is a drow, her society already views men as slaves good for one thing. But she doesn't ask him for sex, she asks him for a bite yet it's just as sexual. It shows the player that vampires are sex objects yet again. But whatever is left of him, of his soul and humanity is very separated from his vampire form. He doesn't take being a vampire as an identity but separates himself from it, calling it an affliction, or condition. So why push him further into nature that he doesn't accept or enjoy?

At many points he mentions there's almost nothing left of the man he was, whatever little is left of his soul, etc. He believes he doesn't have much to offer, especially after sex is off the table. That is why it's so important to remove sex from your romantic relationship for him. While obviously, it's a time for healing, it's also a time to actually connect to the person behind the vampire. The person he used to be before he became a sex object.

And that is the same if you choose his spawn romance ending. You pick the man he managed to remain despite everything that happened. That's why his post-scene at the grave is basically a rebirth of him, of his humanity. While the romance post-scene of the Ascension is a rebirth of you. You chose to reduce him to a vampire, to an object, and even went as far as to objectify yourself as well by accepting the vampire nature. And ultimately, that's all that's left of him, the vampire. The person he was is gone completely.

I'd just like to add that a lot of people like to bring up that they let the other characters make their own choices but that's a weak point. Shadowheart's choice is very influenced by your choices/approval and let's not forget she would actually kill Lae'zel if you don't get involved, you literally have to choose if you sell Wyll's soul or not, and Lae'zel would kill you if you don't stop her.

Also, there is the argument that he wants this. And for that, I can only guess based on my speculations, that despite all the power hunger brought from whatever feelings, survival, fear, selfishness -until the very last moment he hadn't made up his mind. He even tells you this before you enter Cazador's chamber. He won't know what he'll do before he faces him. His turmoil is obvious. You can tell him this isn't him, not really. And he responds that it should be, he doesn't want to be pathetic.

The choice for the ascension never was his, as it never was for him. He himself saw no way out, just like when he was under Cazador. And the temptation that was obviously present at the idea of being just like Cazador. The choice there was for you.

For the player, whether it'd be as a lover or a friend.Do you want the man or the vampire?

[gachagon]

I watched the newest episode of The Amazing Digital Circus, and yeah I can already tell this is gonna be a great show. I think it manages to handle both its comedy and horror pretty well without one being less effective than the other.

The pilot was great, but I really like that episode 2 shows us a better picture of the characters than what we already thought about them. I think the most surprising character who's development was made really clear was Pomni.

In the pilot she's naturally apathetic and also freaking out about everything, and the promo material with her included seems to follow that same track record, but here in this episode Pomni does what Ragatha's been trying to do with her the whole time! She consoles this cute little gummy gator guy about his own existence and stuff in a really mature way that we just haven't seen Pomni do before.

This episode is really about the fear of not belonging or having an impact on other people. The beginning nightmare sequence where Pomni imagines herself being abstracted versus the end with Kaufmo's funeral really shows that what she's most afraid of is that she ultimately won't have a place here at all, even if being there terrifies her.

I think Pomni has come to terms with the idea that she won't be able to leave or find an exit right away, but the fear of not fitting into her role as the Jester and doing the same song and dance for eternity eats away at her.

The funeral is a really good coping skill for all of the people in the Circus (minus Jax who just didn't go to the funeral at all) because it eases the fear of not remembering any of the people you spent all that time with, but also eases the fear of being forgotten.

I can imagine the idea of Gummigoo not remembering Pomni but still being out there "Out of bounds" is sad, but unlike the people in the circus he can always come back and in a weird ironic twist always has a place in the world he's in. And even if he doesn't remember Pomni, she'll always remember him and that's the really important part.

Also can I just say that I love this little crocodile/gator man T_T He showed up with such a silly concept but I think he really added a lot to the episode. It makes me wonder what would've happened if he really was allowed to stay in the circus despite not being real.

The episode has a lot of themes about being aware of your own mortality and why you're even alive and what purpose you serve. And in the end, for Gummi he was able to stomach the truth of his own existence with the help of Pomni, but he decided to just keep it a secret from everyone else up above.

After he gets "poofed" its safe to say he'll always still exist just not in the way Pomni saw him. And whenever Cain wants to use him for a future quest, he'll still have the same old memories of his friends and his "sick mom" who needs syrup, but the knowledge of Pomni and being Out of Bounds will not be there.

Is it better that he doesn't know what's out there? That his mother isn't actually real, and that he and everyone he knows is just 1's and 0's in a computer? Or is it better if he does know and is able to cope with that reality? Likewise, should Pomni really even worry about trying to leave this world she's been forcefully thrust into, or should she just go with the flow and accept her place as the Jester in the circus?

Truly an "Ignorance is Bliss" kind of story. We already know from this episode alone that the one thing Jax craves is chaos but that's not because he's fallen in line with being a rabbit in the game or because he wants to leave.

I think Jax is an excellent parallel to Pomni in this episode. Where Pomni tries to peacefully cope with her place in the circus and possibly coexist with the world around her, Jax wants to do nothing but cause as much disruptions as possible. Jax has accepted long ago that he's not leaving, but instead of losing his mind over it he's just become an incredibly selfish person who only wants to take his entertainment from other people. He uses his veneer as the trickster rabbit to cause as much problems in their journey's as possible all so he himself won't go crazy.

And even though in the end he's not there to witness what happens to the candy people, I think just having something new to think about is enough for him in a weird way. While Pomni struggles with feeling like she belongs, Jax has been there for a long time and his biggest struggle is "disappointment". It's being so mind numbingly bored that you forget yourself.

This is leading me to believe that what causes people to abstract isn't finding the exit or thinking about the exit, but that it's more personal than that. Abstraction seems to be when someone really truly breaks under the pressure of being in the circus itself. All of the members of the circus seem to cope with being in the circus in different ways. For Gangle it's drawing and art, for Ragatha it's throwing herself into all of the journey's and just immersing herself as an actual "ragdoll" who's going on quirky adventures, Pomni just potentially found her way of coping which could be trying to just help other people with their own baggage and being an ear to listen to, and Kinger has by all means lost his marbles so as long as he's not thinking about how hard it is being in the circus he's fine.

I think Zooble's is to just not go on the adventure's at all or maybe we just haven't seen how they cope yet. I'm guessing that Kaufmo didn't really have a coping skill, either that or it became too much and he abstracted. I think his obsession with finding an exit had something less to do with the exit itself making him go insane, and more about the possibility of him remembering something he wasn't supposed to.

He probably regained his memory in some way and that was what led him down the spiral into abstraction, looking for a way out in any way he could.

[barcaatthemoon]

works in progress

lucy bronze

mini-me: the team learns that you're a lot like your mother when you show up to a game dating one of your teammates.*

claudia pina

after the party: you take care of pina after all of her celebrating.

sex with my ex: you and patri hook up after a game against each other.

lena oberdorf

mine, all mine: lena gets jealous when someone else flirts with you.

lia walti

say it back: you stop telling lia that you love her

holiday: lia meets your family when she comes to spain for the champion's league final

silence: you and lia get in a fight, resulting in the silent treatment.

little miss perfect: lia is the bane of your existence.

alessia russo

bad girlfriend: you and alessia get in a bad fight when you confront her about neglecting you.

sydney lohmann

denying: you and sydney try to deny your feelings for each other in order to save your friendship.

green whistle: sydney gets hurt in practice and accidentally outs your relationship when given a green whistle.

fridolina rolfo

guiding hand: you and frido sleep with each other for the first time

make a move: frido's teammates push her to make a move with you, tired of watching the two of you flirt back and back during interviews

take me out: tensions boil over between you and frido.

alexia putellas

breed: your talk with alexia about starting a family takes an intense turn.

happy birthday: alexia takes you out for your birthday.

casual: alexia reminds you that you don't have a relationship

on display: you and alexia get distracted moving your things out of your apartment.

bent: alexia finds you at one of your lowest points.

act a fool: you tease alexia.

glass: alexia gets her fears off of her chest about leaving you alone.

flatmates: a day in the life of living with alexia.*

little one: alexia brings you to practice for the first time. *

mary earps

housewife: mary makes an offhand comment, and tries to make up for it before you leave her.

leah williamson

kiss me: three times leah kisses you, and what they mean.

at arm's length: leah keeps you at arm's length until you potentially find someone

dirty dancing: you and leah hook up in a club.

love me tender: leah helps distract you from your acl injury.

can't get you out of my head: leah comes clean about her feelings for you.

patri guijarro

rivals: you see patri after an el classico match.

seeing is believing: patri makes you watch yourself getting fucked.

kyra cooney-cross

a thousand miles: kyra comforts you when the distance begins to feel suffocting

steph houghton

not my time: you don't deal with the realization of steph's retirement well.*

alanna kennedy

playgirl: you find alanna charming, albeit a bit infuriating

barcelona

in your corner: your team surprise you at your graduation after your parents no-show*

tiny: you get injured during a game.*

better off alone: the team learns that you haven't really been at your foster parents' house.*

jitterbug: sometimes, you need a little help.*

too good to be true: you shouldn't always meet your heroes.*

jessie fleming

round two: you see the marks you left on jessie when she tries to get ready.

physical: you get distracted watching jessie in the gym.

kerstin casparij

room service: kerstin sneaks into your hotel room to help you celebrate winning the champion's league.

jill roord

game night: you try distracting jill while she's playing video games, and it doesn't go exactly how you had hoped.

bruna vilamala

stargirl: bruna defends you when her friends question your relationship

fine lines: you transfer to barcelona, much to bruna's dismay

mariona caldentey

heat of the moment: you find your way to mariona's hotel room in bilbao after the final

jenni hermoso

if you love me: jenni tries to break up with you after being told she's holding you back.

tease: jenni always knows just how to turn you on, even when it seems inconvenient.

going down: you reward jenni for taking time to come see you.

georgia stanway

my best girl: georgia comforts you when social media gets to be too much for you.

katie mccabe

shut me up: you just want katie to stop talking.

ona batlle

anxiety (get nervous): your parents visit after the champion's league final.

home, sweet home: you finally get to come home.*

jenni hermoso & alexia putellas

recess: you get a bit wild at practice when you want to play.*

ingrid engen & mapi leon

third party ii: ingrid and mapi offer more than what you expected.

the ultimate betrayal: you get hurt while running with your flag.*

workhorse: you get pushed too hard in a game.

ingrid engen

new friend: ingrid introduces you to mapi.*

katrina gorry & clara markstedt

sick of the sun: you catch a case of heat exhaustion.*

[yuri-is-online]

TD anon here, I do feel you on the "torture" scene with Taiga, I didn't want my last ask getting any longer lmao.

While the scene definitely made me squeal, for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after with Romeo lmao. It's exactly how I felt with Frostheim too, being excited over the dance with Jin, and then immediately after we get the cigarette kiss scene with Jin and Tohma LOL. But it only makes sense, MC has only just showed up at the school, not enough time to bond, and honestly with these kinds of joseimuke games I don't have much expectations of interactions between the cast and MC so in TD she's already much more involved with the whole comic thing anyways.

Eating the Like Dove raw... was really a raw scene lol. He seems to be attracted to blood for some reason? Since he paused when MC's cut started bleeding, I think he was about to lick the blood tbh.

And yeah I do wonder if his shoddy memory has anything to do with his deal's cost. Another vibe theory time, I feel like his fear of the Like Dove might've been... ingrained in him somehow? Maybe he had a run-in before but can't remember it. The reason why I think this is because when MC met him alone, when she reminded him that she was the Honor student, his response was "Oh no wonder I didn't kill you on the spot", he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill.... if that makes sense?

He feels like an even bigger enigma than Towa, I'm curious to know what's going on in his head in the moments he goes eerily quiet. Not to mention he's the poster boy of the game, has to be a reason. Luca feels more in line to be the poster boy but it's Taiga...

I enjoyed Haru's drunk spiel about how helpful MC is lol. Also my eyes going wide when Rui said he wants to know what she's made of too... what does that mean....... I need more Rui content, I love his blatant flirtations lol. I got a campus event with Rui, Haru and Romeo in the bar before I even read the chapter, their unexpected friendship is very cute ngl.

(sorry in case this is sent repeatedly, smth wrong with my net atm)

Generally speaking I have found tumblr doesn't post or send things twice but it sure as hell reblogs them with the same tags 42 times making me look like some sort of freak

for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after

Yeah I get this. The cigarette kiss with Tohma and Jin took me off guard, but that was mostly because I thought this was an otome game? Come to think of it I don't think we've had confirmation of the whole joseimuke v otome game thing beyond the existence of the like dove and individual character affinity... Well and that when this was announced it was supposed to be an otome game. I know that the otome games subreddit has been having some, shall we say spirited? Discussions lately about how players feel about ros getting into relationships with each other. The general opinion was that a lot of times the ro x ro relationships feel more fleshed out that the ro x mc ones, and I agree. I actually stopped writing something I wanted to be an otome game because the story started shaping up to be more about the mc's mentor than them, and I personally do not think that is very fun. People do like laid back mcs, they do not like mcs who have no place in the narrative, and some writers aren't good at balancing that. TDB mc is doing pretty well when it comes to interactions with the main cast compared to something like Twisted Wonderland if what you want is explicit romance, so far it feels like Season 1 of og Obey Me! from what I remember of that game, so we'll see.

I didn't get the same level of intimacy from Romeo and Taiga as I did Jin and Tohma? But I think that's because in both cases I thought the like dove had appeared before Romeo got there and was talking to Taiga and the second scene made me think Taiga was angry at him for interrupting his "fun." Whatever that "fun" was going to wind up being because yeeeeeah he seems like he has a blood kink of some sort. I think he was going to suck on it and bite her a bit, but licking seems like a logical first step and less influenced by what's wrong with me. Like I said over here the scene with the Like Dove fascinates me... it says more about Taiga than any other character in the game that we get to see the dove twice and that when given the chance he shoots and eats it... if that isn't a metaphor for denial and emotional repression then I am not sure what is.

he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill…. if that makes sense?

YES. I wanted to talk about this but it sort of got into conspiracy theory territory and my answer was getting long. I don't know if anyone remembers, but waaaay back in Book 1 when mc tries to escape the school she isn't able to get anyone's attention. It's like they don't see her, is that because of her curse or is it because of preventative measures put in place by the school? I want to lean towards the latter because it makes more sense BUT I also want to be delusional and say that it's part of mc's curse. There's something about Taiga's instinctual fear of the Like Dove and his comments to the mc that make me think his body knows her but his paranoia and memory issues keep him from knowing it.

This is just me writing fan fic... but Taiga is technically the first ghoul you meet. He is the poster boy of the game, he is the first person to bring mc into the main loop and tell her there's a spy. I want so badly for him to have known her at some point but to have been robbed of his memories... Romeo seems to think he is trying to forget stuff on purpose "gone off the deep end" and "escape reality" are both things he says to describe him though granted that last one was due to a misunderstanding about what Taiga was trying to do with the anomaly. Something real bad happened last year, something I feel like Taiga doesn't want to acknowledge unless he can get revenge on whoever caused it. I mentioned in another post, but I sort of want MC to have something to do with Clementia and that's why she's there at the dorm beyond it just being empty due to the clash. (I do get why Luca isn't the poster boy; he's not a dorm captain and those seem to be what the game wants to push. well them and towa lol)

Haru and Rui

Rui is a bar tender who is described as being "popular with the female students" probably because of how flirty he is ha. I love his dynamic with Haru and Romeo, just a barman and his two favorite customers shooting the shit and trying to relax. Rui is cursed to kill whoever he touches, so I think he wants to talk with MC more because he can relate to her in a very unique way. And he got gate kept from doing so by Haku in book one so he's extra curious now. I have his SR so I'll put him on my homescreen for a bit and see what voice lines I can shake out of him. For the little bit I did have him there he called him and mc "curse twins" which I thought was very cute. In a dark sort of way. The entire section at the Obscuary bar endeared me to all three of those idiots.

But especially Haru. He called Peekaboo his child this chapter too ;-; he's such a good dad. I wonder if he is going to show up next books at all? Or if it's going to be like the previous books and we'll instead see Taiga and maaaaybe Towa? Since he's friends with Zenji. Nothing to do but wait for May 0-0

[ohbo-ohno]

obsesseddd with the thought of kidnapped reader living in the cabin soap and ghost dragged her out to keep her in, being given colouring books and games as rewards for being the sweetest best behaved girl in the world, maybe they give her minecraft or lego’s as a way to distract her and keep her little mind busy while they work around you doing things around the house or fixing things, johnny lies on the sofa with you while you play, his face so close to yours asking you what your building and what each thing is and requesting a kiss every five seconds, making you giggle and blush because he just loves you so much and can’t get enough of you. he wants you in the house on the sofa playing games and colouring in all day every day for ever and ever because you’re his best sweetest most well behaved gorgeous girl. simon watches from wherever he’s standing working and is so proud of himself for finding something that is successfully distracting you enough to giggle and laugh and let soap kiss u all over ur face instead of seizing up or making an effort to get away. you’re settling in just fine and he couldn’t be more proud of you.

to me this is very much so giving DDlg which isn't really my thing, but I do loooove how soft and nice this ask is so I'm gonna play with that aspect of it :)

this is one of those asks that applies really well to a reader who... doesn't really mind being kidnapped. two big strong men want to squirrel her away, take care of her every need and desire? uh, yes please!

but they're still soooo scary :( because they're serial killers!!!! they killed all her friends - even if her friends did end up being really mean to her after all :( they're sweet to her but they also come home covered in gore, and it's very very difficult for her to not get scared when johnny spreads that gore over her face

i really enjoy the idea of this reader forcing herself to be soft and sweet. she's so so scared, tears streaked down her face, but she's got to smile and color with her crayons when johnny sets them down in front of her.

it's a type of sadism that would really work for johnny in particular, i think. he's watching you struggle through this drowning fear to be just what he needs. and you can't fully tell if he even knows you're scared (it's obvious, but you think you're a better liar than you actually are) so you try and cover it up as well as you can.

imagining you playing with legos, or jenga or smth, and being a little shaky and scared but trying to not show it. you glance up and just see ghost, looming in the shadows, blood not washed from his hands or face, just watching you with this deeply intense look. you flinch, lose knock over your little tower or lose jenga, and cry out a little at the loud noise. simon smirks at the reaction, and johnny coos real sad and sweet at you, leans forward to stroke your head.

and you sort of condition yourself to enjoy these things. you don't love coloring at first, but... but it is kinda fun. johnny and simon seem to love your drawings (they put it on a little heavy, you think) and their endless praise feels undeniably good. is it so bad to color something you think they'll like? no, of course not.

so you let yourself enjoy the little childish things - coloring, all the stuffed animals, building little lego castles - because it does feel relaxing.

and all they want from you is your softness, your sweetness. they just want you to be their sweet little baby girl who makes her drawings for them :( give you a Bear Johnny and a Bear Simon (secret little nanny cams) so they never have to really leave your side :( make meals for you and place you on the counter, swipe batter across your nose and watch you giggle :(

[shinsorokiri]

y’know i know a lot of people talk about how they love shane and seb because they’re the damaged men in the game, and like same 100%, but i also see a lot of people kinda dismiss sam as a golden retriever, positive, happy character. but if you really think about it, sam fits into the same category as seb and shane too. like:

1. his mother expresses multiple times to the farmer that although she loves her children, she very much longs to have a life where she doesn’t have to constantly worry about kids. in a way a part of her deep down wishes that sam and vincent didn’t really exist and it tears her apart and vincent isn’t necessarily old enough to grasp the concept, but sam is and you know he notices it. this is the woman who raised him and (i at least headcanon him) as someone who is very observant. he definitely notices these behaviors coming from her. and idk about you, but having an inkling that your mother is unhappy with her life in any capacity would really screw me up personally.

2. his father went to WAR. like fully went to war and i’m thinking he was in the army for 2 and a half years at least because he has a corporal badge (even though it’s upside down) but that means that he was away for bootcamp, then deployed, and if sam is around what? like 19? 20? that means that he became the “man of the household” at 17 or 18. Because I personally believe Kent was away for three to three and a half years. Bootcamp for about 10 weeks, straight to a base for more training, and it seems as though the active war made it so he got deployed into action fairly quickly. So, not only did Sam have an absence where his father should have been during the years he became a young adult, but he has to adjust to his father coming back and struggling with PTSD and quite honestly being shellshocked. (i also believe kent was honorably discharged, meaning something bad happened to him in the war. perhaps it was the same event where he lost many of his friends, but i fully believe the war is still ongoing even when kent returns to the valley considering the traveling merchant is still smuggling things into the town.) all the memories he had of kent are just memories now because his father will never be the same as he was before. And sam KNOWS that! even vince notices it!

3. he’s literally a rebellious skater kid, one of his heart events is him getting in trouble WITH THE MAYOR because he’s skating where he’s not supposed to, AND he purposely tries to sabotage the soup for the potluck and leads in community service hours. he’s a teenage dirtbag baby! a misunderstood edgy kid who acts out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings! and on top of that, with his adhd he’s even more misunderstood and people don’t take him seriously at all. he gets scolded for things that he seemingly just can’t help all the time and that just hurts him and makes him act out even more.

4. sam is also a damaged individual - he’s just better at masking it. seb embraces the darkness and accepts that he is an outcast and doesn’t try to hide the fact he is. shane struggles with addiction and depression publicly and it’s not negative necessarily, but he can’t hide it from anyone. sam has a warped idea that he cannot show his ailments, physical or mental because he needs to be strong for his little brother and give an example of what he believes a man should be (and because of the patriarchal society he lives in he doesn’t know that he can be vulnerable because no one told him because the man who would have been able to explain that to him during the years he really needed to hear it wasn’t there). i fear he suffers a bit from toxic positivity and desperately tries to rely on hobbies to distract him from his reality. 

long story short, sam is not just a silly guy, he has depth. i mean come on, he's best friends with sebastian for a reason! they’re similar in ways! he just doesn’t know how to talk about or express it. all this to say, sam is an interesting and deep character that shouldn’t be written off immediately by people.

sam supremacy! lmao

[cousmemes]

dialogue starters from DOCTOR WHO SEASON 9. feel free to edit for context / continues under the cut.

"Why do you always assume I'm lying?"

"An enemy's just a friend you don't really know yet."

"Wherever you go, there are people who care enough to find you."

"Anyone can hide from an enemy. No one from a friend."

"I did something wrong. I let somebody down when I should have been brave enough and strong enough to do better."

"You do realise you're still an idiot."

"Are you any good with a broadsword?"

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Just don't run."

"He doesn't know we're here, does he?"

"When do I not see you?"

"Nobody dies here. Not one person, not one of my friends, do you understand?"

"You want to know how dangerous I am?"

"Is that supposed to frighten me?"

"If she is really dead, then you'd better be very, very careful how you tell me."

"What am I even looking for?"

"They don't have much respect for you, do they?"

"I'm so glad you didn't have to see that."

"I'm your friend. I'm your friend!"

"You know what? I've just had a very clever idea."

"How long do you think it's been down here?"

"What's wrong? You're not happy. Why aren't you happy? Tell me."

"Wait, wait. I don't think they're going to hurt us."

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Do you know what you need? You need a hobby."

"Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you."

"We're coming back, aren't we?"

"I'm fine, by the way, in case you were worried."

"We need to get there. It's our only way out."

"You're sure they're not going to hurt us?"

"You seem to know an awful lot about me."

"I'm asking what I should say to you."

"I'm not ready yet. I don't want to think about that. Not yet."

"You didn't try very hard to stop her, though, did you?"

"You can't cheat time."

"No one is coming to save you."

"You're always talking about what you can and can't do but you never tell me the rules."

"We're time travellers. We tread softly. It's okay to make ripples, but not tidal waves."

"I had a dream you'd all died. It was so real, I thought I'd made it happen."

"There's nothing to fear, strange maiden."

"What's the one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you afraid."

"I have no reason to fear you."

"Not every misfortune that befalls us is down to you."

"We're not cowards. We do not run."

"Stay. You could help us. I know you could."

"A good death? Is that the best we can hope for?"

"I've got a hobby, thanks. It's you, by the way."

"Every time we do something like this, I keep thinking, what if something happens to you?"

"What do you think our chances are tomorrow?"

"I cannot keep you safe. I do not have the strength. But I will try to till the last beat of my heart."

"I'm sick of losing people."

"Look at you, with your eyes, and your never giving up, and your anger, and your kindness."

"One day, the memory of that will hurt so much that I won't be able to breathe."

"I do it for the adventure. Isn't that what life's all about?"

"Now is not the time to be showing off."

"How many people have you lost?"

"Why should I be responsible for you?"

"You're not like this. I know you're not."

"This is what you made of me."

"Did you miss me?"

"What's going on here? Fun and games?"

"I'm a friend. I've come to help."

"Don't do this. You know it's me. Don't let them trick you."

"I love you. I forgive you and I love you."

"You're talking nonsense to distract me from being really scared."

"You see, that's the problem. I am a brilliant liar. How are you ever going to know?"

"So, you must have thought I was dead for a while. How was that?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Is this a kidding face?"

"Is that your answer for everything?"

"Oh, admit it. I totally saved your life."

"What were you doing last night?"

"There is no nice way to say you're about to die."

"You enjoyed that way too much."

"You were upset, weren't you?"

"They look at me as if they want to kill me themselves."

"I did this to save you, you silly thing."

"Why do they always run?"

"So this is your life, then? Just bouncing around saving people?"

"Oh, she is the worst. I love her. Take that how you like."

"I swear, I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

"What were you thinking? Sacrificing yourself?"

"I can do whatever the hell I like."

"You've read the stories. You know who I am. In all of that time, did you ever hear anything about anyone who stopped me?"

"I did this, do you hear me? I did this. This is my fault."

"Listen, if this is the last I ever see of you, please, not like this."

"No. This - This isn't happening. This can't be happening."

"Why can't I be like you?"

"You're going to be alone now and you're very bad at that."

"Don't let this change you."

"Don't go. Stay with me."

"This is as brave as I know how to be."

"I know it's going to hurt you but, please, be a little proud of me."

"I can't keep doing this. I can't! I can't always do this! It's not fair!"

"You are not the only person who ever lost someone. It's the story of everybody. Get over it."

"Nothing's sad until it's over. Then everything is."

"Is this a story or did this really happen?"

"Isn't this going a little far?"

"I'll try not to break your jaw."

"Please, I don't want this."

"Look at me again. In the eye. Look at me. Just do it."

"Tell me what they did to you."

"People like me and you, we should say things to one another."

"You really are thick, aren't you?"

"You don't seem surprised to see me."

"I'm trying to keep you safe."

"Nobody's ever safe. I've never asked you for that. Ever."

"These have been the best years of my life and they are mine."

"So what happens now? Hey? Me and you, what do we do now?"

"Why don't we just fly away somewhere?"

"I don't think I could ever forget you."

"No. Stop it. You're saying goodbye. Don't say goodbye!"

"Run like hell, because you always need to. Laugh at everything, because it's always funny. Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends."

"I didn't mean to do this. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Why does everybody think I am so scared?"

[bigmilkagenda]

Of the many, many plates of pancakes* that were offered to the listener in magp 1-07, this one may be my favourite

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. CELIA is saying "Yeah. I mean, it's an old system, but it could have been worse. It's not like we're wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." /end ID]

When we meet TMA-Celia for the second time, she's lost her name. She was Lynne Hammond, and now she's not. She doesn't seem to remember Martin, either, but it's not clear how much of herself and her life from before the change she does remember. She's freaked out by the tape recorders that start showing up, and there's no indication that she associates them with the Institute specifically.

If Celia Ripley is, as we are clearly intended to believe or consider, the same Celia as in TMA, why is she making knowing comments about manila folders and tape recorders? Tape recorders in particular are hardly standard equipment at what seems to be mostly a text data-entry and cataloguing job. She could have said typewriters, or carbon paper. Fax machines, if we're dunking on Freddy specifically.

She says "tape recorders and manila folders." Celia Ripley is referencing The Magnus Institute, particularly the outdated technologies in use in the Archives.

Maybe she learned more from Melanie about what the recorders were and did at the Institute, sometime after MAG 190. Maybe she has those specific memories of giving her statement in MAG 100, and little else. Maybe Martin grew an apocalypse beard and she remembers everything, but just didn't recognise him out of context and in a tunnel and during A Pretty Weird Time Overall.

Maybe she stuck around with Melanie-Georgie-Basira for a while after things returned, and that's how she learned about the particular significance of tape recorders.

Maybe she found some tapes and listened to a couple hundred of them.

Or maybe she's simply an AU Celia, with a knack for oddly specific and kind of clunky comparisons, drawn into this through the powers of metafiction and string theory.

Or maybe someone filled her with spiders and sent her to finish the job of spreading Fear to this particular world.

And the reason this particular plate of textual pancakes** (short stack, butter and nightmare syrup) is one of my favourites from "Give and Take" is because I genuinely have no idea! None of these are theories because there isn't enough evidence to point me in any particular direction. It's a mystery!, Jon voice, etcetera.

If you cornered me and paid me to have an opinion about it I could say which options I thought were more likely, I guess. But the odds are high that I'd be wrong, and I think the boat for me getting paid to interpret texts probably sailed fifteen years ago, besides. I'm in this for the love of the game.***

November is the true spooky season in the northern hemisphere.**** Yeah, October ends with Halloween, but you know what month starts with Halloween? Mmhmm. By November of 2019 TMA had been on my list for a few years, and someone I was getting to know and really liked recommended it to me specifically in the days after 159 aired. The conditions were correct for me to get into something new, is what I'm saying. I still remember listening to "Anglerfish" for the first time, walking home from my office job in the blustery November dark. I got home starry-eyed and red-cheeked and thrilled by the story I'd just heard.

It took a couple of months for me to catch up, and though I loved having so much to listen to there were times when I wished I'd started earlier, to have the experience of seeing things unfold.

And now we're back at a beginning, and get to experience the horrible joys of finding out.

[ID: A screenshot of an unofficial transcript to The Magnus Protocol. LENA is saying "Of a sort. I hope you're as ready for it as you think you are. Consider yourself "in." /end ID]

*Sabrina pancake meme

** the best kind, especially if it's a contest between textual and fluffy pancakes. Keep those spongy bastards away from me, I'll take the kind with a typeface instead

***Being a huge nerd

**** For more of my opinions on November, see https://www.tumblr.com/almostmolly/188799234276

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep1

so once again like a crazy person [i've done this with star wars sequels before] i've decided to take three and half pages of notes over the course of an hour. i've been a fan of the games for at least a decade and i'm actually always watching lore content between the installments though so while i do know some minute details, within the show, there was some things i was interested in and curious about that i just decided to jot down. some of this may be things discussed already and some of it might be something i wasn't sure if anyone brought up before but anyways! maybe i'll do the whole season, but here's my ramblings • them titling the episode "the end" was when i knew i'd love the show • ok but i really wonder if cooper can still do those party tricks? he was really good at them and lucy would probably love them too 🥺 • thinking back, the radio in the first scene mentions not knowing where the president is--- beginning to wonder if he was the guy sitting in on the vault tec meeting • just realized they introduced the mr. handy robot in some of the first scenes • ten years of nuclear threat according to anchor but the show is careful not to give away all the cards because why does the weather anchor make it seem like they know when the bomb will drop? idk but birthday boy mother turns off tv real "head in the sand" like • the nat king cole song that's playing though [wondering if the song is mirroring specifically cooper's feelings about barb despite everything hmm] • horse's name is sugarfoot 🥹 • him having to pay alimony... wonder what the prenup? was like... [still think he probably loves barb 😞]

• them calling him a pinko despite him being an architect of vault boy's persona, a quintessential presentation of a "man's man" acting as a cowboy, a real cowboy, a former marine--- wondering if there was a smear campaign after his situation with barb and vault tec, him working children's parties leads me to believe... • did the kid's say the birthday boy's name was boyd? [if so, there's another character in the games with this name and this is also the name of a character walton has played in another series, funny] • weather man show's up again distressed, wondering if we'll get more info about that day • everyone ignoring, cognitive dissonancing their own nuclear annihilation is so prescient if not disturbing and damning

• him teaching janey the thumb thing ☹️ • cooper's voice when he says "let me see if i can't rustle you up a piece" 😩 • janey being the only one to notice the first bomb • the fear in cooper's eyes • cooper being in denial one last time before realization sets in • people becoming animals the moment they realize what's happening--- one guy punches his friend not letting his family into the fallout shelter • people getting into their cars and cooper onto his horse to escape--- wonder how fast they could be since it doesn't seem you could outrun nuclear annihilation

• lucy being raised so well under the circumstances 😔 [hope she never becomes her father] • i haven't trusted steph since episode one • lucy being a teacher [amongst other things] and asking maximus about what happened after the bombs fell makes so much sense [and also much like another person suggested is an interesting juxtaposition to cooper's pre war knowledge] • lucy showing how skilled she is for being a marriage candidate when in reality we are seeing someone fit for the wasteland is crazy on second watch • is lucy not watching a cooper howard movie with her dad? hello??

• them reading "war and peace" in the family book club is rich • lucy [thinking] she's not good at guns, ironic • steph having to step in like a sisterly type because lucy's mom isn't there 😞 • the wedding dress on lucy being ill fitting, tight as symbolism for lucy not truly "fitting in there" and being constrained [foreshadowing] oof • the vault boy sign in the back saying "don't lose your head" lmao • didn't catch the "cousin stuff" until someone mentioned it on tumblr and twitter 💀

• the flashback we see of lucy ending up being almost a false memory, a misrepresentation of her actual memories, that she has been on the surface, in the sun • norm taunting lucy about her future husband being "anybody" and a "cannibal, crammed full of tumours" 😭 unfortunately for ghoulcy, this was some of the heaviest foreshadowing [the raider also could have been one too] • why didn't hank recognize moldaver? • so many things i still don't understand about vaults 31, 32, 33 • the growing realization they are raiders was pretty funny to me lmao

• moldaver having to sit through the disingenuous lies of hank ugh • norm going into vault 32 like they wanted them to know what was up? or is that just how vault doors work? they used lucy's mom's pip boy [that hank lied about burying] • lucy putting norm in a storage vault, she really is so strong • the handed down wedding dress getting messed up • i am curious if the raiders [shady sands survivors?] only mostly harmed vault tec aligners but maybe not • the way hank and steph retaliating a little too well • hank acting like he doesn't know moldaver when everyone really does know moldaver • moldaver telling lucy she looks like her mother is really such a tipoff

• realizing maximus is getting bullied 😭 • dane... might love maximus a little idk • from latrine duty to basically ruling over the brotherhood of steel • they really showed some dude jacking it lmao it's just normal i guess 💀 • maximus being defeated and having a rightful outburst of emotion, poor guy • the poster saying "the outside world can never harm you"--- funny • chet would've died up there 😭 • them not opening the vault back up for her, wondering if the vapourized bodies are from the initial bomb drop or the subsequent shady sands ones • dane almost gets maximus killed three times tbh • maximus joined the brotherhood of steel to get back at what vault tec did, essentially hank's doing, hank has many enemies • knowing the enclave, it makes sense why siggi is hunted • cooper the ghoul's introduction though • the bounty hunter saying his captors dig cooper up every once in a while to cut pieces of flesh off him 😞 no wonder cooper acts the way he does 😔 he's been taken advantage of, no wonder he doesn't trust anybody and is horrible to everyone • "why is this an amish production of "the count of monte cristo" or the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?" why would he say this 😭 • cooper's... been invited to circle jerks 👀 • does the bounty hunter know the ghoul is cooper howard?

• him not harming the chicken, him healing dogmeat, there's something there, folks • people only digging him up to use him again 😞 • what a coincidence he's dug up just as lucy leaves the vault • "i do this shit for the love of the game" he's a character, he's playing a character, real theatre kid • hence why cooper is introduced as "the ghoul", cooper is long gone • "us cowpokes, we take it as it comes" something about this lineee

[unluckyhoneybee]

and for sway? could you write for sway about dating a bi girl? She comes out to him after a couple of months of dating which leads him to a spiral of thoughts and insecurity

Note: first time writing for Sway!

Warnings: the ask says it all.

Jeremy kissed the top of your head and got up. You watched him walk in the kitchen and as soon as he was out of view you ran your hands over you hair in distress. Your nerves were eating you alive.

For the two months you had officially been dating Jeremy and the tien you had spent getting to know each other, you hadn't been able to talk with him about this huge part of yourself. It wasn't that you didn't trust him, but you had a couple of previous bad experiences and had grown extra cautious. Now that you knew there wasn't nothing to fear with him, you were trying to bring it up someway. Was it a film with your first girl crush a good opportunity?

"Hey" Jeremy fell next to you in the sofa and kissed your shoulder. "You are staying tonight, right?"

"Mhm" You kissed his cheek and leaned on his body.

Jeremy hadn't mentioned it, but he had noticed how you seemed more lost in your thoughts than normally.

"All good?" He hugged your shoulders and you sighed.

"Yeah"

He sighed too and moved you so you were looking at him. Then he grabbed your chin.

"C'mon" He playfully tapped your lips with his thumb. "I won't pressure you to talk, but I'm here if you want to. You love this film, YN. You haven't told me anything about Mr Darcy or Liz yet. About the hand scene, where are those giggles and feet kicking?"

You chuckled and moved a bit closer. You decided to go for a kiss first, your mind playing games and telling you maybe it was the last one.

"There is something" You made a pause "About the film, actually"

Jeremy brushed some hair out of your face. "Go on"

You took a deep breaths and then needed so much time to form the words that Jeremy's face fell slowly. His grin disappeared and instead he slowly frowned.

"YN..."

"I think I'm bisexual"

One, two, three, four, twenty seconds, thirty...

"Jeremy?" There it was. Ice cold expression and surprised eyes. You were ready for the fall. "Please say something"

Your voice, showing how scared you were, pulled him out of trance.

"Yeah, uh... You think?"

"I am. I am bisexual, Jeremy" You said with shaky voice.

"Oh" He licked his lips and ran the hand that wasn't keeping you close to him over his hair.

You felt your feelings raw. You felt really vulnerable.

"Oh? That's all" You cleared your throat and moved to sit straight but Jeremy thought you were leaving so he put his hand on your lower back.

"Wait, no, no" He cupped your cheek and made you look at him. "It's fine. I'm sorry I didn't react well. You caught me out of guard there"

You swallowed and leaned into his touch, which made him relax and smile.

"Just... What does it have to do with the film?" The funny tone on his voice made you chuckle.

"Uh... That's my first girl crush" You said pointing back.

"Keira?"

"Mhm. Can't blame a girl who grew watching Elisabeth Swan becoming the Pirate Queen, can you?"

Jeremy laughed loudly. "I can't, I can't. I see your vision in there"

You giggled and looked down at you hand on his chest. You fell in silence as Jeremy comforted you with his hand in your back. He caressed up and down as he observed your face.

"Are you feeling better now?"

You were tired, to be honest. "Yeah, kind of relaxed now. Took a weight off my shoulders"

Jeremy kissed your forehead.

"Don't need to worry about me, okay?"

"Yeah, I know. I trust you"

"Good"

You cupped his jaw. "and you? I understand if you need time"

"No! No, no. I'm fine. All good"

"Yeah? You don't mind I'm bi, for real? And don't make a threesome joke or I'll strangle you"

"Does it change something? Between us, I mean"

"Uh, no" You said. "I suppose. If you don't mind I also like girls, it doesn't change anything"

"I don't mind. It's just you, my girl, in the end."

You nodded with a smile and kissed his lips. "Thank you for telling me" He said when you pulled back. It was completely sincere. It felt so food to be trusted like this.

But that night, when you were already asleep and tightly grabbing onto his biceps, he laid there with his eyes open and running thoughts.

"So, YN is into girls too"

"Mhm" Jeremy nodded. "We talk during breakfast and when basically said that she is into more than just men. More than one genre"

"Okay" Linus nodded.

Jeremy respected you and your sexuality but was a mess with terms, so he asked you to explain stuff to him.

"What's the problem? Are you okay with it?"

"For sure, yeah" Jeremy nodded furiously. "I'm completely okay with her. I fell in love with YN for a reason"

"Cool then" Linus patted his shoulder. "But tell me te real problem, Sway"

Jeremy sighed. "I don't know why she told me just now. I mean, we know each other for a while, when started going out months ago and we have been a couple for two months"

Linus frowned.

"What if she has met someone?"

"Sway..."

"Ully, maybe she has met a girl. And she has told me now. Or maybe she is discovering things now. She said at first she thought she was. Maybe there is someone and she has a crush on them and she is doubting..."

Linus grabbed Sways shoulder. "Listen, you said she had a crush on the pirates of the Caribbean girl. That was what? 2005?"

"Yeah, around then"

"I don't think she has met anyone" Linus sighed. "Plus, you should ask her directly instead"

"I don't want to offend her"

"Sway, I think it's just that you are insecure"

Jeremy looked at his pads laying on the floor. Suddenly they were so interesting.

"Why would I?"

"This is knew for you. You really like this girl. You don't want to loose her. Easy"

Jeremy looked up again. "Why did she took so long then?"

"Ask her, Jeremy" Linus hugged his shoulders.

"Okay"

A couple of days later, when he arrived from the road trip, Jeremy drove directly to yours. He noticed a little bi flag bracelet in your wrist and smiled to himself.

"How was the flight?" You kissed his lips gently.

"Good"

"Go and get comfy, I'm making dinner"

"You are an angel." Jeremy kissed your cheek and moved to your bedroom.

You were happier and more smiley now that you didn't feel the need to hide from him and he liked that, but it was him now who seemed a bit lost.

"Now it's you." You said after dinner when you were clearing the kitchen. "I know that loss was hard but..."

"It's not the loss" He whispered.

You walked to him and hugged his waist. Jeremy laid back on the counter and grabbed your hips.

"Then?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah"

Jeremy swallowed the lump on his throat and then cupped your face.

"I don't want to offend you"

"Jeremy..."

"Why did you need so much time to tell me?" He asked. "I'm not throwing it at your face or anything but... Does it have to do with me?"

"Jeremy, honey..." You put a hand on your chest right over his heart. "It's not you"

He patiently waited for more.

"I've had a couple of bad experiences" You started slowly. "I told people who I was and they didn't react well, so since then I give myself time to make sure it's a safe space. And you are the safest I have felt with someone"

Jeremy moved his thumb over your cheek.

"I really love you, Jeremy." You said for the first time. "It's just that sometimes it's scary to be open like this. I know now that it would have been okay even if I told you sooner"

Jeremy felt a bit stupid. He leaned and kissed you deep and slow. You loved him.

"I really love you too, YN" He said with a huge smile.

"That's really cool, huh?"

"Super cool, yeah"

You both laughed and moved to press your foreheads together.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. Just felt a bit insecure"

"About?"

"Why would you date me if you could date a girl?"

"Because you are Jeremy Swayman and give the best hugs ever, plus you are the sweetest and funniest guy I've met. And it has nothing to do with my sexuality. I met you and I liked you and then I fell in love with you. You make me extremely happy."

"Oh dear..." He kissed you deeply once more. "Linus wants to meet you. And I want you to meet him. I hope you don't mind I talked to him but I was a bit lost."

You chuckled. "The moment I told you I knew you would tell him, silly"

Jeremy laughed and pinched your but.

"I love you so much" He said.

"I love you too"

"Then? Dead man's chest?"

"Absolutely"

[druidrot]

since your asking for requests i have one from the 2023 list "Just admit it, you have feelings for them." "Only the worst ones." with astarion if you dont only write gale?

I do indeed write for all the companions + Dammon! I just love Gale lol.

My first fic on this blog is this one, a spicy little Astarion piece I wrote back when the game first game out. I originally posted it to ao3 but thought to bring it here.

Anyways, on to the show!

pairing: astarion/reader (m/f)

warnings: none, just some pining lol

word count: 1k

The party grows weary. 

You had been traveling through the muddy forest for the better part of the day, clearing the area of any stray cultists. Another cloister of zealots had been your latest find as dusk faded into night. The spellcasters among them were relentless, their spells leaving your party sore, battered, and exhausted. The wounds sustained from their brawlers fester and ooze. You know it’s time to rest soon, you can feel your body practically begging for it after all. You have no choice but to press on, growing more and more desperate to find the way back to camp.

As you continue to trudge through the mud, you find yourself growing irritable. You know this clearing, recognize it after traipsing through it three times. Your legs seem to grow heavier with every step you take, weighed by the mud and the exhaustion beating down on you.

Realistically, you know you should have sought shelter hours ago. You’re too stubborn for your own good, however, and the need to prove yourself to your ragtag group of party members burns a hole through your chest. It churns like a cesspool in your belly, the sick feelings of guilt and fear and inadequacy. You're a good few weeks into your little misadventure and if anything, you feel even less suited to the job so graciously bestowed upon you. You sigh heavily, cursing as your ankle is sucked into deep mud. 

“Darling, are you quite sure we’re going the right way?” Astarion’s tone is deceptively soft, but you know better. He’s crouching on a nearby rock, pompously smirking down at you like the smug bastard he can be sometimes. “Why, I think you’ve led us through this filthy little clearing three times now.”

"I know that, Astarion," you spit, leaning down to try and pry your boot free. "I'm doing my best, okay? I'm just as tired as the rest of you."

He regards you for one long, agonizing moment, and then he simply shakes his head, gracefully climbing down from the rock he so proudly perched upon. "What are we to do with you, pet? You're a mess."

"We could help her to start," Karlach interjects, huffing heavily as she finally reaches your position. "Easy, soldier. Don't move too much or you might snap a bone or two."

Astarion glowers at her. It doesn't last long as he's more focused on trying to get to you, all measured steps and careful movements as he traverses through the heavy mud. Last night's rain really did your party no favors, leaving the forest a wet, mucky sludgepit.

"Ugh, this is dreadful," he remarks, scowling as his foot slips. "How people find enjoyment in this astounds me."

"I, for one, think it builds character," Karlach quips, leaning down to help tug at your foot. "What's life without a little mud, aye?"

She proceeds to yank from your ankle and you cry out as the mud seems to thicken, pulling you in further.

"Perhaps we might take a different approach?" you gasp, swatting at her hands. "Sorry, Karlach."

She sheepishly pulls away. "Yeah, maybe that was a bit much. Sorry, Soldier."

Astarion scoffs as he settles behind you. You had briefly forgotten his presence so you startle, body going stiff as he presses even closer. You take note of the easy way he crouches, careful of where his feet stand so as to avoid your fate.

"While I do enjoy a good show of brute force," his sly voice in your ear makes your stomach flip, but you hold it together. "A situation such as this calls for finesse. Allow me?"

You nod breathlessly, body stiffening as his hands find purchase at the calf of your trapped leg. He takes his time moving down the expanse of your armor, delicately coming to a stop at the tip of your boot. He is quiet as he begins to work at the clasps, loosening them as much as he possibly can. Once finished, he turns to meet your gaze.

"Do you trust me, pet?"

His eyes are intense, inscrutable, but still you see something sparking to life behind those pretty red irises. So you concede and nod your head, all the while keeping your eyes fixed on his. He takes off his gloves and slowly, so slowly does he wrap his hands around your ankle before he finally slides them under the lip of your boot. His fingers are gentle as they prod at your skin, sure when they wrap around your heel and slowly begin to prise it free from the leather encasing it.

You can't look at him anymore, so you turn your attention back to Karlach. She hums some noncommittal tune, faced away from you both to give you the illusion of privacy. You burn in embarrassment but you know by this point, you should be used to it. This dance you and Astarion move through is a familiar one. You push, he pulls. He pushes, you pull. It's no secret the lines have blurred, not to you, not to the party. You don't know if the pale elf is up to speed, but you do not push it.

Once your foot is free, you thank him quietly. He meets your gaze again, all ruby, undecipherable intensity. You swallow the sickening want that threatens to burn a hole through your chest, choosing to instead pluck your freed boot from his hand. A coy smirk pulls at his lips but you ignore it, still burning, and you simply pull yourself together and continue on the path.

Once you're far enough away, Karlach nudges Astarion.

"Just admit it, fangs," she teases in a singsong voice. "You have feelings for her."

Astarion bristles, scoffing in indignation. If blood ran through his veins, he's sure he'd be flushed pink. He ignores the twisted way his chest aches at the insinuation.

"Perhaps," he muses, glaring at her. "But only the worst kind"

Karlach laughs and sets off after you. It takes him a moment to follow and when he does, he feels that same deep-rooted ache start to throb.

The worst kind indeed, he thinks, resigned.