#she was a lot like shin in that neither one of them wanted to use violence to solve problems

[iguessitsjustme]

Genuinely almost cried when Mae walked away after shooting Thana at the end and that is damn impressive

[stevie-petey]

episode seven: the bite

“Yeah, we ended up trapped in their secret base underneath Hawkins.” Dustin further explains, to which everyone’s eyes widen at.  “It was fun. Spent my birthday in mortal danger.” At the same time the kids all wish you a belated birthday, which you salute them for. “Thanks, guys. I’m just happy I wasn’t gravely injured this time.” “And that Steve finally kissed you.” Dustin unhelpfully adds before Steve is covering his mouth to shut him up. His face reddens, embarrassed and nervous. Jonathan is standing too close to him for comfort right now.

Summary: steve and robin are your nightmare blunt rotation, you manage to escape a russian lair: mario cart style, you learn that therapy sessions are fun in public bathrooms, steve places your brother on the russian fbi most wanted list, el probably just killed a bunch of people (deserved), and reunions with jonathan are always special when one of you is gravely injured

Rating: general, cursing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of blood, graphic depictions of blood and gore, cursing

Words: 10.1k

Before you swing in: HI IM ALIVE !!! my laptop isnt ,,,, but im trying to ignore that. sincerely apologize for the wait. my laptop shits down randomly every ten minutes and my new one is backordered so ive been fighting demons to write this. i also had a hard time with the bathroom scene with robin. i wanted to get that scene just right. it took a lot of rewriting, but i think im happy with how it ended up <3 pls enjoy this child of mine. she cost me blood, sweat, and tears lmao

-

“Boop!” Steve’s finger pokes your nose and he lets out a delirious giggle. “I booped you!”

At first it was adorable, endearing even, when he booped your nose. However, he’s done this five times now in the last minute alone. That, and you’ve been trying to give Dustin directions back to the elevator while dodging Steve’s surprisingly aggressive nose boops. All while the threat of armed Russians running after the cart looms over you. “Turn left here–would you stop it?”

“Wanna boop that pretty little nose,” Steve’s glossy eyes struggle to find yours, his motor skills delayed and concerning. His left eye has all but swollen shut and you’re still not sure if his unusual behavior is due to head trauma or something else. “C’mere, angel.”

He tries to boop you again, and before you can dodge the attack, Robin’s hand grabs his finger and she lets out a pathetic scoff. “You’re hogging the boops, dingus!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh!”

Steve’s arm reaches over you and he bats at Robin. They start to hit one another, though their movements are slow and weak. They giggle as they fight, and you’re stuck in the middle of it. You try to push them off of you, but the two teens are too busy pinching each other and cackling to pay you any attention. It’s miserable. 

Erica, from the passenger seat of the cart, turns and winces at your predicament. “What is wrong with them?”

“I don’t know!” Dustin keeps his eyes in front of him as he drives, though he’s equally as confused and unnerved. Secretly, he’s glad he’s the one driving. Otherwise he’d be in the middle of a Steve and Robin giggle sandwich like you are.

“Whose hand is that?” You twist around. There’s a foreign body part that’s currently resting on your ass. Steve snickers and Robin puffs out her cheeks and giggles, neither one of them confessing. You’re about to start kicking shins when the cart comes to a screeching halt. The force of it throws you and the two teens back with a painful thud. “Christ!”

“You guys alright back there?” 

Somehow you wind up with Steve’s elbow in your ribcage and Robin’s head smacking into yours. Hissing in pain, you throw the two off of you and glare at your brother. You seriously fear the day he gets his license. “I want to die.”

Dustin turns back around in his seat and gulps. Steve’s and Robin’s own groans of pain can be heard from behind him. “They’re fine.”

Sneakers squeak against the tile floor and the doors to the back of the cart fly open. You’re greeted with Erica and Dustin, eyes wide as they take in the scene before them. You’re squished underneath the teens. You try shoving them off of you again, but they’re dead weight on you. 

“Wanna kiss again, Y/N? I really liked it,” Steve smacks his lips as his head rests against your stomach. “Wanted to do that for so long.”

Your cheeks burn at his words and your stomach flutters. You haven’t forgotten about the kiss earlier. God, you haven’t. It leaves you breathless every time you remember how it felt to have him so close, to smell him and taste him. A part of you wants to ask how long he’s thought about kissing you, but you know that the back of a cart while fleeing from Russians isn’t the most appropriate setting. 

Robin squirms next to you, her head also somehow on your stomach, pinning you down. “Can I get a kiss too?”

“If either one of you kisses me right now, my knives will be the last things you see.” The two teens make despaired noises, which you groan at. Meanwhile, Dustin and Erica continue to stand at the end of the cart, unmoving. You clench your teeth. “A little help here?” 

Dustin mumbles a sheepish apology and yanks Steve’s arm while Erica yanks at Robin, freeing you. As soon as you’re able to, you jump out of the cart and start clapping your hands to speed everyone along. “We gotta go!”

“We’re trying, Y/N!” Erica groans, struggling to get Robin up from the ground. 

You start to help, though you nearly fall when Dustin throws Steve against you. A complaint lingers on your lips, but when you see that your brother is now at the elevator doors with a keycard in his hand, you swallow it down.

Steve, however, is full of complaints. “This sucks.”

You blow hair out of your face and don’t bother responding to him. Instead, you watch anxiously as your brother swipes the key card he must’ve stolen earlier. When the scanner’s light flashes green and opens the elevator door, you exhale with relief. At least something has gone right today. 

After practically throwing Steve and Robin into the elevator with Erica’s help, Dustin hits a button and closes the door. As soon as it shuts, the room starts to move. You brace yourself, now familiar with how fast the damn thing can go.

The elevator ascends at a nauseating speed and there’s a crash behind you. Turning around, you find Robin holding a dolly in place as Steve gets on. He holds his hands out and starts to cheer as his friend snickers. They look like goddamn toddlers at daycare.

“Hey, no!” You feel like a parent, yanking at Steve’s arm to get him down from the dangerous position. The elevator is moving too fast to be messing around on. “This isn’t playtime–”

“He looks like he’s surfing, Y/N!” Robin squeals with excitement, rolling the dolly to the left.

Steve’s body twists and he steadies himself with a laugh. “I’m surfing!”

“Stop fucking surfing!”

You fight with the teens. Steve refuses to get down and Robin keeps rolling the dolly away from you. As you yell at them, Dustin and Erica exchange concerned looks. You overhear the girl mention how they seem drunk, and you’re about to tell her that she might be right, when Robin pulls the dolly from underneath Steve and sends him crashing into the ground. 

“Wipeout!”

You’re checking Steve for injuries as soon as he lands. Dustin kneels next to you and feels his forehead and winces. “He’s burning up.” 

Not liking the sound of that, you check Steve’s pupils. The room’s lighting is dim, but it’s obvious that his brown eyes are almost entirely taken over by the blacks of his pupils. “Holy shit, they’re scarily dilated.” 

“Ow. Thought you liked my eyes,” Steve swats at your hands sadly. He whines, trying to get you to let go of him. “Said you liked brown.”

“I do like brown, but I also like when you don’t act like a three year old.” You soothe him before turning to Dustin. “Any idea what it could mean?”

“Maybe he’s drugged?” Erica suggests.

You frown. “Could explain why he keeps trying to–” Steve reaches up and boops Dustin’s nose. He giggles and your brother looks annoyed. Sighing, you finish what you had been trying to say. “Boop people. Why he keeps trying to boop people.”

“Your turn, angel!”

Dustin intercepts Steve’s finger, which you’re grateful for. He gently smacks the teen’s face to get his attention. “Steve, are you drugged?”

“How many times, dad?” His voice drips with sarcasm and he rolls his eyes. “I don’t do drugs. It’s only marijuana.”

“Since when do you smoke?” 

“Y/N, focus.” Dustin dodges another incoming boop and swats Steve’s hand away. “This isn’t funny, okay? We need to know what they did to you.”

“C’mon, honey.” Your fingers run through Steve’s hair. Parts of it have dried blood. Something more than a beating happened to him and Robin, you just don’t know what. If they’re really drugged, you have no way of knowing if they’ll be okay, and a part of you is terrified. “Work with us, please. What did they give you?”

“Are you gonna die on us?” Dustin asks, concerned as well.

“I’ll tell you!” Robin shouts from the corner she’s slouched in, eager to please you. She twirls her hair around her finger and gives you an unsettling smile. “We all die, my strange little child friend. It’s just a matter of how… and when.”

Neither you nor Dustin say anything for a few moments. Both of you blink, trying to process what exactly the teen has just said. Afraid to look away from her in case she tries to possess you or something, you slowly nod. “Okay, thank you for sharing, Robin.”

She flashes you a thumbs up and proudly smiles. “Happy to help!” 

“They’re gonna be looking for us up there,” your brother redirects the attention back to the fact that you’re all still very much in danger. He starts to interrogate Steve, trying to come up with a plan. “So I need you to tell me where you parked your car.”

“Oh, can we make a pit stop at the food court?” Steve’s eyes glaze over and you know you’ve lost him again. 

Robin leans forward and starts playing with your hair. “I would kill for a hot dog on a stick!”

You snap your fingers at the two of them. They’re impossible to level with, you’re not even sure why you’re still trying. “Guys, we need to focus.”

“No! No hot dog on a stick,” Steve suddenly lifts himself up and glares at Robin. “The guy at the counter said that Y/N she has pretty eyes. He’s an asshole.”

“You mean Dave? When the hell did he say that?”

Steve scoffs at you. “Last week. Ruined my whole day.”

“Fine! We’ll get you and Robin something else to eat.” Dustin says, which Robin cheers at, though he ignores her. “But only if you tell me where your car is parked.”

Suddenly Steve’s hazy eyes fill with remorse. “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh? I don’t like uh-oh, can we not uh-oh?” Dustin nudges you with his shoulder to shut you up and let Steve explain. You mumble an apology. “Okay, why the uh-oh?”

“They took the keys.” Steve shoves his hands into his pockets and reveals that there’s nothing in them. “The Russians, they took the keys. Like forever ago.” For some reason this is hilarious to Robin, who starts to laugh hysterically in the corner. He joins her, amused by the whole thing. “That’s a bummer, right?”

You drop your head in your hands as Dustin sighs. With no keys and no way out of the mall, you’re not sure what else you can do. The only other option would be the bus that takes commuters home, but it comes every few hours and you have no idea what time it even is right now. 

Which means you’d be left with having to hide a very drugged up Steve and Robin in a giant mall swarming with Russian undercover guards for an unforeseen amount of time.

Not ideal. 

“We’re doomed.” You sigh into your hands.

Dustin nods beside you. “Yeah. We’re doomed.”

– 

When the five of you finally reach the mall, you guide everyone through the back hallway and fling the doors open. Fresh air hits your face and you take a moment to inhale. It’s only then that you notice that it’s dark outside. The air is warm, crickets chirp faintly from far away. What day is it? How long could you have possibly been down in the lair? 

As you have a minor breakdown trying to get your bearings, Steve and Robin walk behind you. Their mouths are wide open as they greet the fresh air with glee. “Oh my God, that tastes so good! Steve, can you taste the air?”

They stick their tongues out and marvel at the world around them. “I taste it!”

You watch them with your arms crossed. If you had any suspicion before that they were drugged, seeing them try to eat the air only confirms it. 

“Shit!” Dustin screams out of nowhere and grabs your hand. He tugs at you to start running. You look up and see two Russians men now running straight towards you. 

“Come on!” You grab Erica’s hand and shove her in front of you to run alongside your brother. Then you grab Steve and Robin by their shoulders and all but throw them against the mall’s door. “Go!”

“Why are we running?” Steve mopes, tired from all the physical activity he’s been forced to endure these last few minutes. 

You don’t bother answering him and instead shove him inside the second Dustin gets the mall’s doors opened. Everyone runs, though you’re not sure if anyone has an actual plan. The guard’s footsteps can be heard behind you, and all you know is that you guys need to hide until you can figure something else out. 

“Any chance you guys know any hiding spots?” You shout behind you to the kids, nearly tripping over your feet as you do so.

“No, this mall is one giant public swamp.” Dustin responds, huffing. 

Steve stumbles next to you, still obviously drugged up, yet giggling as always. “It feels like we’re running from movie villains!” 

Turning a corner, what Steve has said floats through your mind. Running from movie villains… What are the odds the Russians know about American movie theaters? They’re dark and usually crowded with people for night showings. It could be the only safe place to hide. 

“Dustin, start heading towards the theater!” Erica and your brother start asking you questions, but you don’t have time to explain. “Just trust me.”

Somehow you all make it to the theater’s doors without being detected. Poking your head through, you make sure there isn’t anyone nearby. When you’re sure it’s safe, you open the door wider and motion for everyone to follow. “Let’s go.”

Dustin guides, dragging Robin behind him while Erica follows. You stay with Steve and start walking once the others have gone ahead. 

“Awesome, movie date!” Steve exclaims with a dopey smile. He’s about to say something else when his eyes find something. Completely forgetting that you’re holding his hand, he runs towards a nearby trash can. He pulls out a bag of popcorn that had been on top of the trash pile and quickly starts shoving the food into his mouth. 

“If you ever wanna kiss me again, stop eating trash popcorn.” You snatch the bag out of his hands with a disgusted face. “I cannot believe I have to tell you that.”

“But I’m hungry.” Steve pouts, staring down at his now empty hands with despair. 

You ignore his pathetic pouting and follow Dustin, who has now flung open the curtains to the theater’s seats. He scopes the area and starts heading right. When he stops at two open seats, he points his finger at Steve and Robin. “You two, sit.”

“But these seats are too close!” Robin complains, and Steve voices his own qualms about the seating arrangements. 

However, you have other things to worry about. Shoving the teens into their seats, you wipe away crumbs on the ground with your shoe. “I’ll sit on the floor next to them. No way I’m leaving them alone when they’re high off their asses.”

Dustin looks at you, skeptical. He doesn’t want to leave you alone with them, afraid they’ll somehow get you into trouble. “You sure?”

“Positive. I’ll take care of them.” you squeeze his arm. While you understand his concern, you can’t bring yourself to abandon Steve and Robin again. Not when Steve’s face still bleeds slightly and Robin’s cheek swells with a bruise. They got hurt because of you; the least you can do is stay with them now. “Find other seats, we’ll be fine here. Just… be careful, alright?”

A man behind you shushes you rudely, reminding you where you are. If the kids don’t leave now, they run the risk of drawing more attention. You push your brother back up the aisle of seats, and he seems to understand what you’re doing. “Fine, but whatever you guys do: Don’t. Go. Anywhere.” 

“Fine, dad.” Steve glares at the kid, which you sigh at. It’s going to be a long night. 

Dustin leaves after you’ve saluted him, and Erica follows. Once they’re gone, you do your best to keep Steve and Robin quiet. As you shush them, you look up and see Dustin standing near the exit. You tilt your head, hoping he sees your questioning, and thankfully he does. He holds his radio up and mimes making a phone call. 

He’s calling for help.

You nod at Dustin, indicating that you understand, and he leaves. After you’ve checked to make sure Erica is still in her own seat at the other end of the row, you turn back towards Steve and Robin; they’re enamored with the movie playing. They whisper to themselves, not understanding what’s happening, but at least they’re quiet and out of danger. Slowly, you start to relax. 

All you have to do is stay in this movie theater until Dustin can contact the party for help. Should be simple enough. Except you make the fatal mistake of absentmindedly mentioning that you’re thirsty. “God, I need water right now.”

“Water.” Robin exhales as if it’s a prayer. Her entire face twists into longing and she hits Steve’s shoulder. “Water. Now.”

“On it!” He nods earnestly and suddenly the two of them are scrambling out of their seats. You snap your fingers at them, hiss whispered threats, but they don’t listen. They climb over you as if you’re an inconvenient bug on the ground. 

Before you can even stand up, they’re already halfway up the aisle of seats. You barely have time to get up before they’ve left the theater itself. “I’m so over them being drugged.” You huff, running after them. There isn’t time to tell Erica where you’re going, too afraid you’ll lose them if you don’t hurry. 

Those fuckers better save you some water.

– 

Steve makes you hold the button on the water fountain because he “can’t do it himself”.

“Is my help really necessary?” You complain, arms crossed as you watch Steve messily gulp water down. His neck is bent at an awkward angle and for a brief moment you truly question whether or not you find him attractive. Water drips down his chin and his gulps are obscenely loud. 

“Yes,” Steve responds in between slurps. The cold water washes over him and he’s never felt closer to God than in this moment. “That’s amazing.”

Robin stands next to you, patiently waiting her turn. “So like, I wasn’t totally focused in there or anything, but I’m pretty sure that mom was trying to bang her son.”

“In the movie?” You hadn’t been paying much attention in the theater. Your view from the ground was shitty and you were too busy making sure the idiots didn’t somehow kill themselves. However, despite your lack of attention, you doubt that’s what the movie’s premise had been about. 

“Wait, the hot chick was Alex P. Keaton’s mom?” Your hip knocks against Steve’s, causing him to choke on the water he’d been drinking. Coughing, he clutches at his chest. “I could’ve died, Y/N!”

“Sorry,” you smile sympathetically at him, feigning pity. He lost the privilege of calling other women hot after getting you locked in a Russian elevator for twelve hours. “My hip slipped.”

“Aren’t you two going to question how the guy was able to go back in time?” Robin is still focused on the whole son being in love with his mom plotline. 

Steve inhales even more water. “Then why is it called Back to the Future?”

Robin begins explaining the complexities of the movie, but you tune her out. While you appreciate that she’s trying to make conversation, you’re uneasy about being out in the open like this. There’s no one around, but you can never be too careful. It’s only when she shoves Steve away from the water fountain that you focus again. 

“Wait, I was supposed to go after him–” Your protesting falls on deaf ears as Robin steals your turn for water. Reluctantly, you step away. She can hold her own damn water fountain button. 

You notice that Steve has wandered off a few feet away. He still stumbles as he walks, though his footsteps aren’t as unsteady as they were earlier. He stops in the middle of the walkway and you join him. 

“Wow,” he breathes out, looking up. He’s mesmerized by what he’s seeing. Curious, you look up as well, though you only see the skylights above. It’s night, no natural light flows through the panels. Yet Steve stands transfixed next to you. “The stars.”

“The stars?” You’re not sure what he means. You can’t see the stars from where you stand. Then again, you suppose he could be seeing things, given that he’s heavily drugged up. 

“The stars are pretty like you, angel.” Steve says, eyes still on the sky, yet his hand somehow finds yours. He intertwines your fingers together and is able to pull you closer, albeit weakly. “You’ve always been so beautiful… scared me when we were younger.”

Your breath catches and you look at him. He’s looking up, seemingly unaware of the effect his words have on you. An overwhelming warmth fills your chest. You want to say something, tell him you love him and that his beauty last July had terrified you. 

But you don’t say anything. Steve is still high, he wouldn’t remember what you’ve said, and you want your confessions to sit within his chest the way his sit in yours. Instead, you find yourself admiring him. You study the length of his neck. The mole that rests just below his jaw and the others that litter his pretty face. His nose, the dip of his chin. The hair tucked behind his ears. His eyes.  

Steve Harrington is beautiful. Scars and all. 

Then he starts to gag and quickly the moment is ruined. 

“Oh, God.” You quickly grab his shoulders and frantically look for the nearest bathroom. In your haste, Robin reacts to Steve’s sudden sickness by gagging as well, and you’re very afraid of what’s about to unfold. “Okay, bathroom time! For the love of God, we need to find a bathroom.”

They’re useless as you twist and turn them around as you search for a bathroom. When you see a nearby sign, you drag them behind you and pray that they make it the next fifteen feet. As soon as you barrel through the bathroom door, Steve and Robin run out from behind you and just barely make it to the toilets before spilling their guts. 

You stand near the doorway, cringing. It’s not a pretty sight. 

They puke, spit out the excess, and flush the toilet to clear it before the next round of vomiting begins. Then they do it all over again. It goes on like this for a while, and all you can do is linger in the doorway and offer halfhearted comfort from across the room. You’ve never really gotten over your slight fear of vomit, if you’re being honest. 

Eventually Steve and Robin seem to throw everything up. When they’ve flushed the last of their sickness down, you hesitantly walk towards them and stand in between the stalls. “We feeling any better?”

“The room stopped spinning for me.” Robin says, her feet propped against the stall’s wall. You have no idea how she’s laying down the bathroom’s ground so casually. “Steve, is it still spinning for you?”

He looks up for a moment, testing what will happen. When he feels perfectly fine, he exhales with relief. “Holy shit. No.”

“You probably flushed the drugs out of your system when you puked.” You observe, leaning against the stall’s divider. “What were you guys on?”

“Allegedly a truth serum.” Robin says from the floor. “Ask me something, test if it’s really all gone.” Then, because she’s trying to get you to laugh, she lowers her voice and impersonates one of the Russians. “Interrogate me.”

Though you smile at her, your stomach twists. Not only were they beaten for information, they were also injected with a goddamn truth serum. Treated like lab rats. And you left them behind, all alone; you’ll never forgive yourself for that. 

But they’re here with you now, you remind yourself. They came out the other side. So you’ll do whatever you can to make it up to them and show them that you’re here for them. Even if that means asking bizarre questions to make sure they’re no longer being controlled by truth serums. “When was the last time you peed your pants?”

“Today.”

Steve looks at you to make sure you’ve also just heard Robin’s response. “What?”

You shrug. “I can’t really judge. I peed my bed a few years ago. Watched a scary movie with Dustin and had a nightmare. Wasn’t my proudest moment.”

“What?” Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“See!” Robin lifts her head up from the ground to look at you. “I was also scared. When the Russian doctor pulled out a bone saw, it was only a little bit, but holy shit.”

She starts to laugh and you join her, despite the image of the bone saw you saw burning your mind. You had seen it in the room when you were saving them. It had terrified you. Yet Robin laughs about it now, so you allow yourself to as well. 

Steve shakes his head at you both. “Yeah, it’s definitely still in her system.”

“And it’s not in yours, Harrington?”

His eyes shine when he looks at you. He’s coming back to himself, you can feel it. The knowing smirk is back. “Clean as a whistle, Henderson.”

Robin clears her throat, now uncomfortable. “Aright, my turn. I want to ask him a question.” When Steve gives her the okay, she takes a deep breath. She looks at you, a resigned look on her face. Something seems to have struck her, something that terrifies her. Her laughter is gone. “Have you… ever been in love?”

Steve doesn’t expect the question. He looks startled by it and tilts his head up at you. Your eyes meet, and you nod, giving him the permission he doesn’t truly need. You talked about it once, last year. The two of you in your room late one night, whispering confessions about love and the pain it brought. It was never a secret. 

“Yep. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” Steve mimes a gunshot to his heart, trying to lessen the unease. He will never really feel comfortable talking about that time of his life. 

“Oh, my God.” Robin rolls her eyes. “She’s such a priss.”

You walk over to her stall and nudge her leg with your shoe. “Hey, she’s my friend, ya know.” Ignoring how dirty the bathroom floor inevitably is, you sit next to Robin. “She’s not a priss.”

“At least, not really.” Steve adds, nostalgia in his voice. 

Robin seems to hear it, too. She sits up, eyes not meeting yours. “Are you still in love with Nancy?”

Without meaning to, you hold your breath. You know Steve no longer loves her, but it’s July and somehow he still isn’t yours. There’s still trust between you, but your body tenses and your heart stutters. 

And yet Steve doesn’t hesitate. It’s immediate. He doesn’t even have to think about it. He’s known since April, though his body has known since he offered you his hand the day you almost hit his car with your bike. “No.”

“Why not?” Robin doesn’t know why she’s pushing this. You’re next to her, your thigh presses against hers. She knows that Steve is in love with you. He confessed it to her when she was teasing him about it just a few days ago. She devoted an entire whiteboard to tallying all the times he failed to ask you out. 

Steve is yours, and you’re his, but Robin can’t help but pick at scabs and expose old wounds. 

There’s a few moments of silence. Steve takes his time responding. He can almost feel your hand ghosting over his, even though you’re separated by a stall. “I think it’s because I found someone who’s a little bit better for me.”

You’re quiet. Robin is as well. 

“You know, it’s crazy.” Maybe it’s the truth serum still coursing through Steve’s veins or maybe it’s because he’s almost died a million times tonight. All he knows is that he’s tired of running. You deserve to know how he feels about you. “Ever since Dustin got home, he’s been badgering me about asking this girl out. That I need to ‘find my Suzie’. A girl he met at camp who somehow became his girlfriend, who I’m not even sure is actually real.”

He’s rambling. He knows he is, but you and Robin remain silent and patiently wait for him to keep going. Steve inhales, holds the breath for a few seconds, and exhales. All summer he’s been agonizing over this very moment. He’s spent countless sleepless nights terrified that he’d somehow ruin it. In the end, his own cowardice only hurt you; he still remembers the way your body shook in his arms while he held you as you cried last night. Steve remembers the fear on your face when you realized you couldn’t save him. That the Russians were going to take him away from you. 

It was then, seeing the terror in your eyes and hearing the desperation in your voice, that Steve Harrington finally realized you would give all of yourself to him; that is what love is. 

To love someone is to know that they deserve your love. 

And for some reason you love Steve. You see something in him that deserves your love. He’s no longer terrified that his love isn’t enough for you. He realizes now that it’s enough. His love is enough because it is his. 

You deserve love, and Steve is more than happy to give all of his to you. 

“The point is,” Steve runs a hand through his hair. He can feel you listening, waiting. “This girl, you know, the one that I love, it’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school… and I don’t even know why.”

A small laugh cuts through the barrier between you and Steve. The two of you spent years together in school, and not once did he ever talk to you. There was one time, early sophomore year, when he collided with you in the hallway while running to the bathroom to meet Nancy. He had apologized to you, but he continued running and hadn’t looked back.

It was two years ago, but you had only been kids, then.

Hearing your laugh emboldens Steve. He clears his throat, lifts his head. He wishes you were in the stall with him. “I think… I think I was scared. I had always watched her from afar. I mean, here was this girl who would offer help to anyone who needed it. Didn’t matter who they were, she’d help them. I just, I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand why someone would go out of their way to help others without expecting anything in return.”

“I mean, there I was, worrying about being prom king while this girl was tutoring kids for free in the school library.” Steve scoffs at himself. He will never forgive himself for wasting all those years with you. He could’ve been your friend sooner had he not been such an asshole. “It’s stupid. I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because when I think about it, I should’ve been friends with this girl the whole time.”

You rest your head against the wall, buzzed with warmth. “You should’ve,” you find yourself saying softly. Though you know yourself. Steve came into your life when you needed him the most, at the right time, for the right reasons. The timing had never been right before. “But I’m sure the girl is glad you ended up how you did.”

“Me, too.” Warm honey laces Steve’s voice. He can almost feel your body on his. He can see the lines and strings above him, materializing into something more solid with every word he says. “Still should’ve happened sooner, though. I mean, this girl we’re talking about is incredible. She makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met. She’s witty, she always knows what to say and she’s so goddamn smart. I don’t think she knows this, but she has this way with people…”

His voice trails off. It’s what he loves the most about you. The effect you have on everyone you meet. The impact you make within a person’s life simply by smiling at them. “She has a way of making someone into a better person without even realizing it, just by being a part of their life. She… she made me a better person. Taught me to be softer, more vulnerable.”

Steve hadn’t known gentleness until he met you. 

To your left, Robin starts to close in on herself with every word he Steve says. She slouches down, drops her head into her knees almost as if in despair.

“She saw this good in me that no one else had before. For some reason, instead of using it against me like others have, she believed that I could be someone different. That I could change… It didn’t matter how long it would take me, she would wait. And I’m so goddamn lucky to be in love with someone as selfless as her.”

Guilt eats away at Robin. She’s harbored a resentment towards Steve all summer, even though she tried to swallow the feeling down. The love between you and Steve had always been obvious from the first day she met you. She watched the two of you dance around each other every day, basking in the sickly sweet young love you shared with one another. 

It’s not that Robin resented your relationship with Steve. No, she was happy for you, truly. The bitter taste in her mouth whenever she watched you gently stroke his cheek with your fingertips was remorse intermingling with resentment because she will never be able to do that. She will never be able to love someone so openly. To have someone hold her hand and call her tender names. 

You’re a beautiful girl with a boy who could adore you freely. Robin can only ever watch you from the shadows, scared to be caught.

You notice Robin’s shift in demeanor and press your body closer to hers. You’ve never seen her look so small before, so unsure of herself, and it worries you. “Hey, is everything okay?”

She shakes her head, too afraid that if she talks she’ll start to cry. The kindness that you offer her stings. She doesn’t deserve it. Not when she believes you outshine the sun. Before she can make up some excuse, Steve knocks on the stall. “Robin? Y/N? Did someone just OD over there?”

“No,” Robin’s breath is shaky, which worries you even more. “We’re still alive.”

You try to meet her eye, but she won’t look up at you. You’re not sure what’s happened, but she’s closed herself off from you; you feel like an intruder. Placing an arm on her shoulder, you’re about to offer her some more water when Steve’s body slides into the stall.

He settles himself across from you, shy with his movements. Your heart lurches when you see him, too. He confessed his love for you only moments prior, and you want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and call him yours, but Robin looks pale. She’s scared. You just don’t know why.

“The floor’s disgusting,” she says to Steve, hoping to get the attention off of her. 

“Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt, so…” He looks down, cringes slightly. You remain silent, and Robin’s eyes are still downcast. Seeing this, Steve tries to lighten the mood and asks Robin a teasing question. “So, what do you think?”

“About?”

“This girl,” he turns to you, then. He looks at you with such fondness and knows that both you and Robin know he had been talking about you the entire time. He’s trying to get you to laugh, bring a smile back to your faces.

Robin tries to play along, swallowing down the remaining bitterness. You’re sitting next to her, your hand is still on her arm. “She sounds awesome.” 

“She is awesome.” Steve winks at you, hoping it’ll get you to blush the pretty pink he loves so much. When it works, he smiles. “And what about the guy?”

“I think he’s as sweet as honey in July.” You say, giving into Steve’s charm. It’s worked on you ever since the day you crashed into that ditch, even if back then you refused to admit it.

“Yeah? Well, I think he’s on drugs, and that he’s not thinking straight. That he doesn’t realize how lucky he is.” Robin interjects. She doesn’t look at you, her eyes remain on Steve. You raise your eyebrows at what she’s said. You hadn’t expected such a pessimistic response from her.

Off put by her sudden dejection, Steve becomes defensive. He doesn’t understand what Robin is doing. She was the one who kept encouraging Steve to ask you out all summer. “Really? ‘Cause I think he’s thinking a lot more clearly than usual. He knows what luck is.”

“Does he? What if there’s this other girl, one he hasn’t seen yet. I mean, really seen.” Robin swallows. Her fingers twist together nervously. “What if he one day sees her and realizes just how unlucky she is. I don’t think the guy would ever want to be her friend after that.”

“No, that’s not true. No way is that true.” Steve shifts closer to the two of you now, confused as to why Robin is saying all of this. Of course she’s his friend. “I mean, apart from the girl he’s in love with, this other girl is the guy’s only friend.”

“Listen to me, Steve.” Robin still doesn’t look at you, but you listen silently and allow her the space she seems to need. “It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you, but I’m not lucky like you are. I think… I think you should use that luck. Go for the girl.”

Steve tilts his head, not quite following. “What does luck have to do with any of it?”

Robin sighs and you sit next to her, quiet. She seems to be trying to figure out what she wants to say, and somehow you think you know what she means by luck. It’s always fascinated you, luck and love. Two sides of the same coin. But it never occurred to you that there could be an undercurrent that cuts through the luck. A double meaning behind it. 

“Do you remember what I said about Click’s class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?”

“Yeah,”

Robin closes her eyes and sighs. When she opens them, there’s a resolved look in them.  “It… It isn’t because I had a crush on you. It’s because she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”

At first, you’re confused. You had missed their conversation about Mrs. Click’s class. They must’ve had it when they were being held captive, but the phrasing of what Robin has just said feels heavier than it should. Her words land on you with a force you hadn’t seen coming. 

If Robin had for some reason talked about being obsessed with Steve in a class they once shared, but not because she had a crush on him, but because a girl wouldn’t stop staring at him… 

“Mrs. Click?”

Even though you’ve done well remaining silent this entire time, you can’t help but snort at Steve’s response. He’s trying, you know he is. Robin must know this too, because she laughs softly at him as well. “No, Steve.”  Her smile dims, however. “That would’ve made things easier for me, though.”

Easier. Luckier. 

And then it all clicks. 

Robin’s insistence on always pleasing you. The subtle touches. The way her eyes would darken sometimes when you looked at Steve. How, only an hour ago, she had asked you for a kiss when she was still under the influence of the truth serum. 

You draw your hand towards hers and slowly thread your fingers together. Robin’s head spins, she finally allows herself to look at you. She finds your eyes staring into hers. They’re kind, understanding. You’re looking right through her in this very moment, and Robin Buckley has never been more afraid. 

“How long have you known?” You ask her, voice gentle.

Robin’s voice shakes. “Since Tammy Thompson…” She has to look away from you. She can’t do this with you looking at her. “She was in Mrs. Click’s class with me and Steve. I–I wanted her to look at me, but.. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from him and his stupid hair.”

She pauses, tries to compose herself, and you squeeze her hand three times. Once to tell her that you’re there, another to give her the reassurance to go on, and the final time to communicate that you understand. There isn’t a reason to be scared. Somehow, Robin knows what the gesture means. Breathing in, she looks at Steve and continues. 

“And I didn’t understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor and you asked dumb questions and you were a douchebag. And–and you didn’t even like her and I–” Her voice breaks. “I would go home… and just scream into my pillow.”

Steve looks between the two of you. It’s obvious he’s the only one not aware of the underlying layers. “But Tammy Thompson’s a girl.”

“Steve,” Robin breathes out, pleading. She doesn’t want to say it out loud. She can’t say it out loud. He needs to understand what she’s trying to say. Why she’s been giving him hell all summer. Why she feels guilty when she looks at you.

“Yeah?” But he doesn’t understand.

Robin can’t say anything. She looks at him, can feel the tears in her eyes; she’s begging now. Steve’s eyes find yours, silently begging you as well to explain this to him. He doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong. He doesn’t want to be doing something that could hurt Robin like this. 

Your shoes squeak against the tile floors as you draw your knees into your chest. You’re not sure what else you can do. Robin has laid everything out for Steve. Your hand still holds hers and you try to quell the fear within you that maybe he’s being intentionally naive. Maybe he doesn’t want to believe it. 

“Oh.” 

It’s one word, one exhale of breath from a mouth that once used to say cruel things. Steve’s face softens, his jaw unclenches and his shoulders relax. He surprises you, showing nothing but empathy. He’s kind, he’s always been kind.

“Holy shit,” Steve doesn’t want to mess this up, but he’s never been good with words. 

Robin laughs. “Yeah, holy shit.”

He sighs and leans against the stall wall. It’s quiet between the three of you. No one really knows what to say now. Steve is still processing, Robin’s heartbeat still hasn’t quite settled, and you’re trying to figure out how to tell her that you understand more than she may know. She’s braver than you, trusted you with this secret, and it’s only fair that you offer her a part of yourself as well. 

Plus, it’s a wonderful ice breaker. 

“You have terrible taste in women, Robin.” You nudge her with your shoulder, teasing. “I mean, I’ve heard Tammy Thompson during choir rehearsal. You can totally do better.”

“She wants to be a singer, she has dreams!” Robin defends the girl, the change in conversation bizarre but welcomed. 

Steve, sensing that you’re trying to lessen the tension, gratefully plays along. “So what she has dreams? She can’t even carry a tune. But, more importantly, what do you know about taste in women, Y/N?”

“I see things,” you jut your head out, defiant. “Probably would’ve fallen in love with Nancy Wheeler had I known her instead of Jonathan.”

Their reactions are expected.

“You would’ve loved Nancy?” Steve exclaims at the same time as Robin guffaws, “You loved Byers?” 

You laugh. It’s a full, whole body laugh. One you haven’t felt in so long. “Yes,” you wheeze out, the look on their faces killing you. Steve looks unnerved while Robin looks disgusted. “At least Jonathan doesn’t sound like a muppet when he sings.”

“Tammy does not!” Robin is laughing alongside you now. It’s been a long time since she’s laughed this hard, too.

Steve rolls his eyes, his own smile overtaking his face. “She sounds like a muppet giving birth, Robin.”

“That’s what she reminds me of!” You snap your fingers and point at him. “You’re right!”

Robin clutches her stomach as she laughs. She leans into your side as you lean into her. Steve starts doing a terrible impersonation of Tammy’s awful singing, which only gets the two of you to laugh even harder. Steve gets you to sing along. He grabs the hand that isn’t holding Robin’s and swings it around as the two of you sing. Robin joins, laughing more than singing. It’s lovely. Absolutely lovely. 

And this is how Dustin finds the three of you.

He slams the bathroom door open, Erica right behind him, and stands in front of you.

“Okay,” he glares at you specifically. “What the hell, Y/N?”

You giggle at his disappointed dad stance. “I told you I’d take care of them.”

Dustin isn’t amused, which only makes your giggles turn to laughter again. The other two teens aren’t far behind you, descending into yet another fit of laughter. Hunched together, the three of you giggle breathlessly as your brother and Erica watch in disbelief. 

But you ignore their questioning stares.

With both Steve and Robin holding your hands, laughter warming your belly, you feel like a kid again.

– 

 The bus becomes your only option.

“I managed to contact the party.” Dustin had informed you after your laughter died down.

Relief washed over you. “Thank God–”

“But then my walkie died.”

“Yeah,” you had sighed and dropped your head down in defeat. “Yeah, of course it did. Why wouldn’t it die when we need it?”

Which leads you to now: peering out the bathroom door with Steve breathing down your neck and Dustin in front of you, checking to make sure it’s safe. A crowd of people flood the once empty hallway. The movie must’ve just finished. Everyone is talking excitedly, having no idea that five teenagers are currently hiding in the bathroom from Russians. 

You envy them. 

“When I say ‘blend’, we go. Okay?” Dustin asks the group, eyes still on the mass of people exiting the theater. 

“Because Steve dripping blood definitely will blend in.” You retort. It’ll be hard not to draw attention to yourselves with the way his face still oozes. It’s a long walk down to the bus station and you’re getting worried now. The mall closes in ten minutes, soon there won’t be any crowds to hide behind. 

Dustin doesn’t bother justifying your remark. Instead he studies the flow of traffic before giving his signal. “Blend.”

The five of you swiftly exit the bathroom and align your pace with everyone around you. Dustin guides in front with Erica while you stay back with Steve and Robin. Your eyes move constantly, scanning every face you pass. Thankfully, the people close to you seem innocent enough.

Erica looks around, impressed. “Well, shit. That worked.”

“Of course it worked.” Dustin is smug, which makes you wince. He’s always had a bad habit of jinxing things. You really wish he had gotten more of your mom’s humility and less of your dad’s ego. “Now we just have to get on the bus with the rest of these plebes, and home sweet home, here we come.”

You shove your brother. “Can we not taunt our inevitable bad luck?”

“We’re in the clear now, Y/N. Trust me, in just twenty minutes we’ll be back home, where our dear mother awaits with her frantic arms wide open–”

“Uh, Dustin?” Steve eyes him nervously. Already you dread whatever he’s about to say. You guys only lasted thirty seconds without any bad luck. It’s a new record, honestly.

“What?”

“Yeah, we might not wanna go to your house.”

“Why?”

“Well,” Steve winces with regret. He knows he’s about to piss both Hendersons off. “I might’ve told them your full name.”

Dustin turns to look at him, bewildered. “What is wrong with you?”

“Dude, I was drugged.” Steve argues, which. Yeah. That’s fair.

Not liking that he apparently sold your brother out to Russians, yet understanding that Steve hadn’t been the most clear headed when it happened, you grab his hand. There’s more important matters to deal with, like whether or not he sold you out as well. “Did you tell them my full name?”

“No, I kept you safe.” He says, with an air of obviousness that you smirk at. 

“Aw, thanks honey.” You kiss his cheek, not caring that Dustin is fuming in front of you. 

“Oh, so you can resist for your girlfriend but not for her brother?” Dustin struggles to keep his voice low. He has never wanted to shove Steve down a flight of stairs more. “You were supposed to tough it out. Like a man!”

You flick the kid’s hat. “Hey, he was very manly defending my honor.”

“I hate you both–”

Robin suddenly freezes, her eyes catching on something. “Guys…”

Everyone stops, alarmed by the tone in her voice, before you see them. There, standing right in front of the exit of the mall, are the two Russian men from the alley. They’re stopping people, checking their faces, looking for you. 

“Abort.” Dustin says, before one of the men makes direct eye contact with him. His face pales and you already have one hand on his shoulder, pulling at him to run. “Abort!”

Steve grabs Erica’s hand and motions for you and Dustin to run ahead as Robin guides. She pushes through the crowd of people and towards the escalators. However, when you get there, they’re roped off and blocked by plexiglass. 

You kick at the glass, frustrated. The Russians are close now. Robin, quick as ever, steps past you and places herself in the middle of the two escalators. You’re confused at first, but then you realize there’s just enough space for your bodies to fit through. Sitting down, Robin is able to use the gap as a makeshift slide.

“Let’s go,” Steve places Erica to slide down next, then Dustin. When it’s your turn, he nods at you. “Ready?”

“I’m so tired of running from these shitheads.” You say before launching yourself down the escalators. 

Robin waits for everyone at the bottom. When you’re all there, she waves for you to follow as you run again. None of you have any idea where to even hide now that the mall has emptied. There’s no one to hide behind, no corner to run into. And the goddamn Russians are fast, never trailing more than fifty feet behind you. 

Somehow you end up in the food court. It isn’t much, but there’s at least vendor’s stalls and restaurant counters nearby. Panting, you point towards the nearest counter. “There! Everyone jump over!”

No one argues, doing as they’re told. You make it there first and help Erica over while Steve and Robin help Dustin. Kneeling down, you motion for everyone to sit with a finger to your lips. The men have to be nearby, you can practically feel their presence close. Facing your friends, you grip your knives and strain your ears for any sounds. 

It’s tense. Dustin pants, he’s scared and overwhelmed and you wish you could offer him better protection. Steve glances at you, silently asking you what the next move is, and you shake your head helplessly. You’re cornered, there’s no way out of this one. 

The sound of boots falling against the mall’s ground approaches. It grows louder and louder at a maddeningly slow pace. Your knuckles are white from how tightly they grip around the hilt of your switchblade. With one flick of your wrist, you know you could at least disarm one of the men long enough to cause a distraction. You’d never kill anyone, but you know from experience that a cut to the shoulder is sufficient enough. 

You’re pulled away from your thoughts when a car alarm suddenly goes off. Its loud noise echoes within the empty mall. Everyone jumps at the unexpected sound, shuffling closer together. Deciding it’s worth the risk, you poke your head up to see what the hell is going on. 

The guards are standing around a red convertible. It shakes, vibrates almost, and they look at one another in confusion. The car continues to shriek its alarm, and while the men stand in fear, you smile. There’s static in the air.

Looking up you see El, with an arm outstretched, on the second floor. Her face is strained, her fingers clench in mid air. The look on her face is terrifying, and you’ve never been happier to see blood drip down from her nose. She twists her arm and sends the car flying into the men. You duck as it crushes them, rolls over the tables and chairs in the center, before spiraling into the counter next to you. “Shit!”

The alarm stops ringing. Everything falls silent. Slowly, you and everyone else stand up to inspect the damage. A tire rim rolls past, the Russians guards are sprawled on the ground, unmoving. There’s smoke from where the car has landed, and you let out a low whistle. “Nice one, El.”

“El?” Dustin turns around, wondering if he’s heard you right.

“She’s up there,” you point to where she had been standing, but when you see Jonathan now standing next to her with Nancy, your heart stops. “Jonathan.”

You’re the first to start running, and when he sees that it’s you, Jonathan wastes no time running either. He’s down the escalator in seconds. Your whole body buzzes as you run, adrenaline and longing coursing through you. The moment he’s close enough, you practically leap into his arms.

“Bug,” he holds onto you tightly. He buries his face in your hair and you breathe him in. It’s a familiar scent, a familiar warmth. You had been so focused on escaping the Russian base that you hadn’t even considered that he and everyone else in the party could’ve been involved. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you tighten your arms around him, but when he makes a pained noise, you immediately pull away. It’s then that you notice the swelling in his head. The dried blood. Pressing your fingers softly to his face, you fill with concern. “What happened, are you hurt?”

Jonathan tries to shrug it off. He doesn’t care about what he’s been through. All he wants to focus on is that you’re okay, for once not covered in blood and bruises like he is. Wherever you’ve been these last few days, at least he knows you weren’t in any pain. “I’m fine, I’ll tell you everything later–”

“You flung that thing like a Hot Wheel!” Dustin exclaims to El, now joining you and Jonathan as the others gather around. 

You don’t leave Jonathan’s side as everyone starts talking at once. Lucas asks why Erica is involved, to which you wince at. “I tried stopping them.”

“It’s their fault.” Erica points at Steve and Robin, clearing your name in the process, which you appreciate her for. 

Steve stands next to you now and puts his hands on his hips. He doesn’t even try to deny that he’s the reason a ten year old girl ended up locked inside an underground Russian facility. “Yeah, true. Totally true. It’s absolutely our fault.” 

Robin asks what happened to the car and Dustin and Steve explain El to her. They quickly catch her up to speed about the girl’s power, and you feel bad for the teen. It’s a lot of information to take in at once. Erica joins, having remembered her conversation with Dustin from earlier in the vents when he had explained the Upside Down to her. 

Meanwhile, Nancy is focused on Robin. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“That’s Robin. She’s a friend.” You step between them. When Nancy sees that it’s you, she quickly looks away. She fidgets with her fingers, overwhelmed with shame and regret. She hasn’t forgotten the cruelty she showed you a few days ago. You haven’t forgotten either, but you’ve never been one to hold anger towards others. Extending a kind smile, you nod at her. “Hey, Nance.”

Nancy looks up, surprised, but smiles at you as well and it’s enough. Maybe one day you’ll sort through the tension that never seems to leave you and the girl alone. Untangle the lines and threads that haunt both of you. For now, there are other things to worry about. 

Steve has started explaining the Russians now, and quickly it becomes clear that you’ve all been dealing with vastly different situations. 

“Russians, what Russians?” Jonathan asks you with alarm. 

“See those guys laying over there?” Everyone looks at where you’re pointing, the men still knocked out on the ground. “Russians. We enjoyed twenty-four wonderful hours with them.”

“Yeah, we ended up trapped in their secret base underneath Hawkins.” Dustin further explains, to which everyone’s eyes widen at. 

“It was fun. Spent my birthday in mortal danger.” At the same time the kids all wish you a belated birthday, which you salute them for. “Thanks, guys. I’m just happy I wasn’t gravely injured this time.”

“And that Steve finally kissed you.” Dustin unhelpfully adds before Steve is covering his mouth to shut him up. His face reddens, embarrassed and nervous. Jonathan is standing too close to him for comfort right now.

Nancy looks uncomfortable with this new information, Mike makes a disgusted sound, Max high fives you, Lucas cheers, Will gasps and looks nervously towards his brother, and Jonathan chokes on his own spit. It’s truly a very wide array of reactions, all of which are expected to certain extents. 

That doesn’t stop you from hitting the back of Dustin’s head, though. “Can we focus on the Russians infiltrating Hawkins?” Dustin hits your shoulder in retaliation, but he knows you’re right. He turns to Mike, upset that he hadn’t come sooner. “Didn’t you get our code red?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t understand half of what you were saying.”

The kids all start to argue and Steve joins in, making a remark about how he’s always bugging Dustin to watch for a low battery. More arguing follows. Lucas and the others demand to hear more about the Russians. As you try your best to explain everything, you notice from the corner of your eye El walking away from the group.

Her shoulders are drawn into her body, her breathing seems to be labored. You nudge Jonathan, pulling his attention away from the kids arguing, and point towards El. “What happened to her tonight?”

Jonathan is about to explain what they’ve been dealing with, but when El collapses onto the ground, you leave his side in a heartbeat to join her. Kneeling beside her, you’re cold with panic. She’s covered in sweat, her face is flushed. “El? Sweetheart, what’s happening?”

Mike and Jonathan are beside you now. Mike is in his own fit of panic, nearly ramming into you in his hurry to get to the girl. He turns her over onto her back, his face twisted with worry and fear. “El! What’s wrong?”

The rest of the group stands around El now, staring down at her. She manages to open her eyes, but you can tell that it pains her to do so. “My leg.” She rasps out, voice thick with tears. 

“Her leg, okay.” Jonathan takes action, swiftly unraveling a bandage on her leg. You hadn’t noticed it before. There’s a deep wound underneath the gauze, its blood has soaked through it. Nancy helps Jonathan with the bandage, and when they finally get it off, you almost throw up at the sight. 

The flesh is raised, angry and swollen. There’s a giant gash in El’s leg, deep and to the bone. The veins in her legs are dark and begin to constrict when something starts to move inside the wound; something is crawling inside her leg. It’s a nauseating sight.

Mike starts to freak out even more. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. He’s scared for the girl, his eyes fill with panic. Instinctively you pull him into your arms, tightening your hold as he fights against it. 

That’s when El begins to scream.

-

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responsibility

you are reluctant to share the problems you are having at home with your teammates. your teammates just think you're an irresponsible teen. it takes an emergency for things to come to light. barça x reader, though this first part is much more platonic alexia & reader. more team involvement to come. cw: some violence / abuse. a lot on grief and the loss of a parent. this is mostly desperately sad angst with some comfort sprinkled throughout.

------

Your father was drunk. Hammered, in fact. You’d seen the empty bottles scattered around the kitchen when you walked in from training, telling you that he’d gotten an early start today. You were on your guard as soon as you’d noticed that, but you only pushed your dresser in front of your door when he began to pound on it, and yell. Some of the things he was saying were completely unintelligible, while others were completely clear. What you could understand was not anything new. He rambled about your mom, and how much he missed her. About how horrible it was that she’d died and left him stuck with you. How you drained away all his money playing football, and how he was tired of how ungrateful you were. 

Normally, he didn’t do anything. Normally, the yelling was the extent of it. Sometimes, though it went farther. He’d grab you, or push you, kick you out of the house. When that happened, you’d go to a friend's place and sleep there, only coming back in the morning when you knew he’d be passed out. 

Only very rarely did he actually hurt you. The occurrences were rare enough that you could pretend it didn’t happen. You covered the bruises up with makeup if you had too, and ignored them. You told people they came from training until you started to believe it yourself. 

Tonight felt different, though, and you knew why. It was your parents anniversary. Any faint reminder of your mother only seemed to inflame your father’s hatred for you. He’d never wanted a kid, but your mom had, and that man had worshiped the ground she walked on. So, your parents had you, and you enjoyed a happy little life for 15 years. And then your mom got sick, and then got sicker. 

You thought losing her would be the hardest thing you’d ever do, but as you sat on the floor of your bedroom, you decided that your father hating you because your mother was dead was somehow 100x more painful. He hurled abuse at you through the door, and when the dresser tipped away from it, crashing loudly onto the ground, you were more afraid than you’d ever been in your life. 

You barely had the forethought to grab your phone and slip it into your pocket before your father shoved his way into the room, a half full bottle of vodka sloshing in his hand. He had the look on his face that haunts your nightmares. The detached one that told you things were about to hurt. You braced yourself as he raised the bottle, hoping it would hit the window and break it open, instead of hitting you. Instead of breaking you open. 

The ground came crashing up towards you as you dropped, trying to avoid the bottle. The world went black around you, and you weren’t sure if it was from the bottle, or from the force of your head hitting the ground. 

The darkness only came as a relief. 

------

You were at Alexia’s house before you had even really decided where you were going. Your forehead was bleeding a bit, and your head was throbbing. Your shin had gotten cut, too, on the way out your window. Or maybe it had gotten cut as you’d broken the glass of the window in order to climb out. 

Realistically, you knew you should call your lawyer, who would call your case worker. Who was really the only one with the power to get you out of that house. Neither of those people made you feel safe though, not like your teammates did. Or used to. Things were fuzzy, now, blurred, and you weren’t really sure if they still cared for you. If they would still feel safe. You hoped they would, because you weren’t sure what else you would do if they didn’t. 

It didn’t occur to you that someone other than Alexia would answer the door, but then her girlfriend was staring at you, mouth agape, and you wondered why you hadn’t gone to Ingrid and Mapi’s, or Marta and Caro’s. You didn't know Olga well, weren’t even sure if she’d recognize you. She surprised you, though, turning and shouting for Alexia as her hands found yours and she gently guided you in through the door.

Your captain’s voice echoed back through the house, missing the urgency Olga had tried to convey, and you could hear her leisurely steps coming from upstairs. Olga tried to bring you into the living room, but you stopped, shaking your head. 

“Blood.” You mumbled. “I’ll get blood on the furniture.” 

Olga was looking at you with something that wasn’t pity, or sympathy. It was anger, far from gentle anger, but her voice was soft when she spoke. 

“Don’t worry about that. Come sit down, Ale is coming.” 

Numbly, you let her guide you onto the couch. Alexia caught your eye as she entered the room, her face changing from mild curiosity to one of horror. 

“Oh my god,” she whispered. You looked away from her, the expression on her face forcing emotions to bubble up inside of you. Emotions you didn’t want to cope with, didn’t want to feel at all. 

Olga walked over to her girlfriend, murmuring a few words, before she exited the room. Alexia took a deep breath, before she came to kneel in front of you. 

“Pequeña? Are you with me?” She spoke more softly than you’d ever heard. 

“Sorry. I know it’s late.” 

“No apologies, please.” She reached up to move your hair out of your face, and get a better look at the cut across your cheek that appeared to have stopped bleeding. You flinched away from her violently, and every hope she’d had that this had been an accident flew out the window. She pulled her hand away,  trying to keep her voice low and soothing.“You are okay. You are safe. You are with me, and I am not going to let anything else happen to you.” 

Nodding somewhat hesitantly, you allowed her to inspect your face, crying out when her hand brushed across the bump on your head. 

“What is it? What hurts?” 

“Fell. Hit my head on the floor really hard.” You told her, every word feeling like cotton in your mouth as you tried your best to communicate. 

“Did you lose consciousness?” Olga asked, sitting on the couch next to you, handing a towel to her girlfriend. Alexia pressed it to the cut on your shin, which was still bleeding. 

“Maybe? Don’t really remember.” 

The two other women exchanged looks, before they seemed to come to some kind of silent agreement. 

“You might have a concussion, pequeña, and I think this needs stitches. I am going to take you to the hospital, okay?” 

You considered. The hospital meant police, meant questions you didn’t want to answer. But you’d come here for help, and Alexia was just trying to give that to you. 

“Okay.” You agreed, allowing them both to help you back to your feet. Before you could take a step, though, Alexia was tugging you into the softest hug you’d ever experienced, and it took all of your strength not to crumble completely. 

“Thank you.” You mumbled shakily, voice muffled by Alexia’s t-shirt. She rubbed your back gently, using the hug to take a moment to pull herself together. 

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ve got you, okay? Everything is going to be fine.” 

You doubted that promise, all the way to the hospital. As you answered questions you were sure would make things not fine, as you got stitched up and scanned. When they took pictures of your injuries like you were some kind of victim. Especially when you told them your dad hadn’t meant it, and they exchanged disbelieving looks. It didn’t really feel like everything would be fine. It felt like everything was falling apart. 

------

“Alexia, what the hell happened to her?” Olga asked, keeping her voice low so that you wouldn’t hear from where you were sitting on the lounge in the other room. 

The blonde shook her head, face twisted with worry. “I don’t know. They wouldn’t let me in the room when they took her statement, and she hasn’t really been talking. It was her father, I know that.”

“Jesus.” Olga sighed, pulling out what she needed to make you something to eat. “They let you bring her here, though?”

Her girlfriend shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. I… I signed a bunch of forms to be declared her temporary guardian. But, amor, I can take her to my Mami’s, she wouldn’t mind. This is not your responsibility, and I wouldn’t want to-”

“Do not be ridiculous. She’ll stay right here. Ingrid and Mapi are nearby, so many of your other teammates too. She needs them, and she needs you. Of course she’ll stay.” Olga said incredulously, as if she’d never considered another option. 

Alexia’s face softened before she all but tackled her girlfriend in a hug. “I love you.” 

Olga held her tight, trying to provide some reassurance. “I love you too. Now go try and see if she feels like talking. I’ll bring her something to eat in a second.” 

You startled when Alexia took her seat next to you, before trying to muster up a smile. It felt weak, and pulled at the cut on your cheek, but it was the best you could do. 

“Your caseworker texted me. They’ve arrested your father.” Alexia said carefully, watching as a myriad of emotions flashed across your face. “So tomorrow, we can go and get your stuff, and move you into the guest room.” 

That felt too good to be true, there was just no way. No way that Alexia would want you to move in with her. Why would she want that?

 “I can’t… I can’t go home?” You asked. You didn’t want to, and you did. You craved your home, but you also craved safety, and those two things were not congruent. 

Why would you want to go back there? Alexia wondered. She had to remind herself that this was more complicated than she could even comprehend, and she had no business questioning how you were feeling. It was complicated, of course it was. “No. Not by yourself, and you aren’t going back there when your father gets home, either. Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

“I can stay by myself.” You argued weakly. “You don’t have to let me move in. You don’t have to do that, I can be responsible, I can take care of myself.” 

Your captain shut her eyes tightly, guilt flooding through her. You were thinking of Alexia’s harsh words to you a few days ago, and she could tell. 

If there was anything you despised, it was being late. It was the fourth time in the past two weeks, too, and though you hadn’t really been scolded yet, you knew it was coming. Sure enough, as you practically ran through the building towards the locker room, you saw Alexia and Irene waiting by the door. Seemingly, for you. 

Your text warning them that you’d be late apparently hadn’t done anything to reduce their anger. 

You slowed down as you got to them, trying to ignore the anxiety that rose in you at the idea of being in trouble. 

“Hi.” You said meekly, stopping in front of them as they glared at you. 

“What time does training start?” Alexia asked, her voice cold. 

“10:00.” You mumbled. 

“And that means on the pitch at 10, all ready to go, yes?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What time is it right now?” Irene chimed in. 

Your face was burning with embarrassment, your eyes trained on your shoes as you refused to look up at your captains.  “10:20.” 

“This is the fourth time in two weeks.” Irene sighed. “Where were you?”

“I… I slept through my alarm.” You lied. There was no way you could admit the truth. What you were doing was your business, it was private. And you knew that if your captains found out what was going on, they would involve themselves. And you didn’t want to burden them.

Alexia’s face hardened. She felt like you were lying, but she had no evidence to back that up. And even so, she couldn’t understand why you would be lying. Teenagers were weird, she reminded herself. And difficult. 

“That is unacceptable. You are 17, yes, but you are on this team. You are expected to act responsible and prove that you care to be here. Showing up late does not prove to us that this is a priority for you. You are benched. Until you can get your act together.” 

This wasn’t the first issue they’d been having with you. You’d been distracted and distant recently. Zoning out during training, skipping team bonding. You were quieter than normal, too, which really came off as you being annoyed by your teammates. Which you weren’t, not at all. You were just trying to get through. To get up every morning like everything was mine and make it to training. To get everything done that you needed, so that you could get out of your house. Where you would go when that happened, you weren't exactly sure. With the way your captains were looking at you right now, you knew you couldn’t go to them. They were upset, rightfully so. You just couldn’t do anything right. 

“Ale-”

“No. I am disappointed in you. I expect you to be more responsible. Now go run your extra laps.” 

With a sigh and a small nod, you headed off, completely missing the slightly concerned expressions that your captains were exchanging. You just weren't yourself, and they weren’t sure what to do about that. 

Alexia hadn’t understood, then. She knew that something was off, but she didn’t know it was this bad. She’d scolded you for being irresponsible, and she knew now that was unfair. And that you’d very much taken it to heart. You’d let her help you before, when your body was in shock, everything in fight or flight mode. 

Now, you were withdrawing, just as you’d been doing for weeks. This time, though, Alexia didn’t think it was just teenage carelessness anymore, or a rebellious phase. She could deal with her guilt for not understanding, for getting everything so wrong, later. For now, she had to make sure that you didn’t completely shut down. 

“Listen to me. I didn’t mean any of what I said before. I didn’t know what was going on, but I do now. So let me help, okay? You don’t need to worry about anything. Just let me take care of it all.” She took your hand in hers, feeling it tremble in her grip. You looked conflicted, and though there were tears in your eyes, all your captain could do was look at the jagged cut on your cheek. It wasn’t deep enough to need stitches, but she was pretty sure it would scar. A reminder, forever, of what someone who was supposed to love you had done. 

All she wanted to do was make it better. “Tell me how I can help.” She asked, doing her best not to beg. 

“I… um. I have a lawyer. I’ve been trying to get emancipated, I should call him.” 

“I’ll call him tomorrow.” Alexia said quickly, watching the cautious vulnerability dawning across your face. 

Olga walked in then, bringing both you and Alexia some food. You both ate in silence, not even the TV on to fill the void, before you leaned back into the couch and pulled your knees to your chest. You were safe, you knew you were safe, but you didn’t feel it. You didn’t feel much of anything, honestly. Your head hurt from the concussion, and the stitches in your shin pulled with every movement.

 The physical pain, you could deal with. It was the threat of feeling that terrified you. You felt a pang of emotion every time you looked at Alexia, though, when you saw the concern on her face, so you tried your best not to look at her. 

Your captain and her girlfriend exchanged looks, and Olga mumbled something about going to get you some ice cream, before she grabbed her wallet and keys and left the house. 

Within a minute, Alexia was turning her whole body towards you, completely attentive. You didn’t want her attention, but you had it. 

“What happened tonight, nena?” 

You knew the question that was coming, yet still, you were wholly unprepared for it. You’d answered the questions earlier from the police, but that had been different. They had been strangers. They’d been sympathetic but professional. As much as you’d been trying to downplay what had happened in your head, you knew Alexia would be horrified to hear what had happened. And that would chip away at your very fragile belief that it hadn’t been that bad. 

“You can tell me. Whatever happened, you can tell me.”

You decided to give her as few details as possible. “He was really drunk. He gets like this sometimes.” 

“Violent?” Alexia asked bluntly. 

“Not always. Most of the time he just yells.” 

“But tonight? It was more than yelling?” She hated pushing you, but she needed to understand what had happened if she was going to be able to help. 

You took a shaky breath before responding. “Yeah. When I got home from training, he was already drunk, yelling at me.”

“Was he angry about something?”

“He’s always angry.” You dismissed. “Always. Ever since mom… he didn’t want me, not really. And now mom is gone and he’s stuck with me. I think he hates me. I mean, I know he does. He tells me all the time. That’s what he was yelling about. How much he hated me.” 

You sounded detached, which Alexia was sure wasn’t healthy, but she pressed on anyway, knowing that you needed to tell her what happened, and only then could she help.  “What happened then?” 

“He broke my bedroom door down and threw the bottle of vodka at me. I hit my head trying to dodge it, but I think it hit me anyway. I broke the window open and climbed out. And then… I don’t really remember. Then I was here.” You went through it blankly, as numbly as if it had happened to someone else. 

“Oh, nena.” Alexia sighed, truly incapable of understanding how someone could be so cruel to you. You were shaking again as you glanced up at your captain with watering eyes and a trembling lip. “Cariño, I am so sorry this happened.” 

You shrugged one shoulder, trying to keep your tears at bay, but your captain persisted. 

“You are safe now, do you understand? I will never let him hurt you again, ever.” 

This time, there was no response from you. 

“Nena, look at me.” Alexia pressed, her eyes wide as they met yours. “You are safe with me, I promise you.” 

You wanted to believe her, you really did. Trust was hard, though. Only harder now. If your father could hurt you and not feel any remorse, what was to say other people would feel differently? What’s to say you could trust anyone? 

Alexia could practically see you come to that conclusion. Your body tensed back up, you leaned away from her, and your face grew completely blank. She wondered if she hadn’t been so harsh the other day, if you’d still be so wary of her. It wasn’t complete distrust, because you’d shown up on her doorstep and that was something. You were trying to protect yourself. Alexia couldn’t blame you for being so afraid, she really couldn’t. 

“Thank you for letting me stay here.” You told her, unsure if your shaky voice was doing a very good job conveying just how grateful you were. “I know having a 17 year old disaster move into the house you share with your girlfriend probably wasn’t something you were hoping for-”

“If I had known what was going on, I would have gotten you out of there a very long time ago.” Alexia interrupted, cursing herself when you blanched and looked at her with wide eyes. 

“I don’t get it.” You mumbled after a second. “You don’t have to do this, do any of it. Why are you doing this for me?” 

Alexia wished you were joking, wished she couldn’t hear the genuine wonder in your voice that someone would go out of their way to help you. 

“Because I care about you.” Alexia said simply. “We all do, every single member of the team. And you are welcome here for as long as you want to stay here.”

“But Olga,”

“Olga would pick up every stray dog on the side of the road and bring it home if I let her. She doesn’t mind that you’re here.” 

“I’m not a stray dog.” 

“No, you aren’t. I was just pretty sure you’d think the dog to be worthy of a home. Just like I think you are.” 

It was a jarring thought. The realization that you did, indeed, think of a dog as more worthy of a home than you were was a shock to your system. You weren’t sure when you’d stopped being so angry, and started believing the words shouted at you, but somewhere along the way, you’d lost yourself. Without even realizing. 

Alexia continued. “If Olga had driven by you walking here, and had no idea who you were, she would have brought you home. She would have done exactly what she did earlier. That’s who she is. She’s happy to have you here, happy to help. Really, pequeña. I promise.” 

You nodded, the only acknowledgement you gave her that you’d registered what she said. “She’s been gone for a while, I thought she was just going to get ice cream?” 

Alexia smiled slightly, glancing away from you. “She’s been in the drive for 10 minutes, she wanted us to finish talking without any interruptions.” 

You frowned at her and your captain tensed, suddenly worried she shouldn’t have told you that. Worried that you’d wrench away from her and resist the help she and Olga were trying to give you. 

Instead, you looked at her like she was a bit stupid. “The ice cream is going to be melted, Ale.” 

The blonde relaxed back into the sofa, a huff of laughter falling from her lips. She’d forgotten how seriously you took your ice cream. It was difficult to mesh together the two versions of you in her mind; the one she knew that was happy and carefree, except when it came to the texture of your ice cream. And the one sitting in front of her, broken. 

“Well, do you want to talk more or-”

“If Olga walks in and my ice cream is melted, this night will really be ruined.” You deadpanned, more amused at the surprise on Ale’s face than you were at your own joke. You didn’t like how she’d been looking at you. Anything to break the tension, anything to distract from what had happened. 

The distraction didn’t last long, because your head was beginning to hurt and you were too exhausted to really hide your pain. The look of sympathy returned to Ale’s face, and to Olga’s, and it wasn’t long after you finished your ice cream that you were ushered up to bed.

If the universe was kind, a dreamless sleep would follow. You were beginning to think the universe was cruel.

------ 

You liked to think that your mom visited you in your dreams. Sometimes, they were good dreams. Warm and kind of fuzzy, but unquestionably filled with love. You found that the good dreams were the hardest to remember. The bad ones were the easiest, maybe because more often than not, they were memories. 

Of course, the dream you had almost as soon as you’d drifted off to sleep was a bad one. It was flashes of a day that made you sick to think about. It had been a week after the funeral, and you’d yet to realize that the father you’d grown up with was gone for good. Though, that realization would come soon. 

A few of your friends had insisted on taking you out to grab coffee. It had been agonizing, sitting and listening to them try to distract you. It was still wallowing time, you argued. You were allowed to lay in bed in a ball and cry for as long as you needed to. Grief wasn’t a process that could be rushed.

Of course, your father would try. The dream grew hazy as it continued, flashes of memories more than anything. Your arrival home from coffee. The realization that he was stuffing your mom’s stuff into garbage bags and boxes, labeled for donation or trash. You remembered the way your blood had boiled; fury rising that he was trying to erase her. As if that would make it any easier. 

You remembered the way you pushed him away from her closet, tears running down your face. Your voice had trembled as you’d cursed at him, begged him not to get rid of all her stuff. He’d cursed right back, pushed right back. Told you that he couldn’t live in a house so full of memories of her. The way he’d said it, implying that you were nothing more than a painful reminder of her. A weight had settled on your chest when your first instinct was to run for your mom, and tell her what your father had said. 

You couldn’t do that anymore. There was nowhere to run to. You pushed him again, and he pushed back again. You fell to the floor, looking up at him just in time to see how horrified he looked at himself. He looked down at you in complete horror, shocked at himself for what he’d done. He backed out of the room, repeating apologies over and over. 

That was one of the last glimpses of the father you’d known all your life that you’d had. And it would never not haunt you that you’d been the one to make things physical the first time. That made it your fault. All of it was your fault. 

The dream ended as it always did, with you grabbing what you could from the bags and the boxes, stuffing it all into your closet. It ended with you pulling on her favorite sweatshirt, the one she’d worn the most. It smelled like her perfume still, and you got under the covers of your bed, burying your nose in the fabric. You cried, and you pretended your mom was there with you, though she never would be again. 

You woke as you always did, face wet with tears, but this time with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. You’d left all her stuff in the house. You’d come here without it, and you needed it. Needed it now, needed to be surrounded by her like you’d been on that day. 

It was with a blind dedication that you slipped out of Alexia’s guest bed, put some shoes on, and went out the front door. You couldn’t leave her stuff there. Not in the house that reeked of alcohol and hatred and sadness. 

------

Alexia was pretty sure she knew where you’d gone, even if she’d couldn’t understand why. When Olga shook her awake, though, and told her that she’d heard the front door shut, Alexia knew you’d fled. And she knew you’d gone back to that house. Back to the place you still considered home, somehow. As Alexia pulled into your driveway, she reminded herself that she couldn’t understand. Growing up, she’d only ever felt love in her house. She’d never been through what you’d been through, never felt anything but safe with her parents. So it didn’t make sense to her that you’d go back. Not when you’d been trying to get out in the first place. But it didn't’ need to make sense to her, because it made sense to you. And you were her only concern. 

The front door was unlocked, and Alexia opened it carefully; the last thing she wanted was to frighten you further. The house was dark and cold, and it smelled heavily of alcohol. She followed the only light she could see down the hall to what she assumed to be your bedroom. The door bore the marks of your fathers fists, the wood dented and peeling. 

Before she even stepped into the room, Alexia could hear you crying softly. You were neatly folding up clothes and putting them into a duffel bag. The precision with which you worked completely contrasted how disheveled you looked; each shirt and sweater folded as if it would disintegrate if you weren’t careful. 

Alexia paused in the doorway, not sure there was any way she could let you know she was here without scaring you. It seemed like you were lost in your head, regardless. Your face was set tightly, a grimace etched across it, but your hands trembled, and tears fell almost continuously. It was as if you were too emotional to keep your feelings at bay, but simultaneously felt too unsafe to really let go. Your despair leaked out like your tears did, a little bit at a time. 

Your captain wasn’t sure she’d ever seen someone look so haunted and so numb at the same time. 

“Pequeña?” She spoke as quietly and soothingly as she could, yet still, you jumped half a foot into the air, a fearful whimper escaping. “It’s okay, it’s just me. It’s just me, you’re okay.” 

“Ale.” You mumbled, recognizing your captain in front of you. It hadn’t even been a thought that Alexia would get up and come after you. The consequences of your actions seemed so far away, like you were just acting with no follow up. There was only the present, because if you thought too hard about there being a tomorrow, you weren’t sure you could survive it. 

“Hey.” Alexia cooed, taking tiny steps closer to you, moving like a snail. She sat down a safe distance away, looking curiously into the bag you were packing. You knew Alexia was wondering why you were here, and honestly, you were too. It had made sense, when you’d awoken from your nightmare and left her house. It didn’t make as much sense now. “What are you doing back here?” 

There was no accusation in her tone, no frustration or annoyance, yet still, you felt the need to explain yourself. “I woke up, and I just… I had to come get a few things.” 

Alexia didn’t point out that it was the middle of the night, and that certainly such a task could wait until the following day. She just nodded in understanding, even though she didn’t understand, and tried to think of another question to ask. One that wouldn’t be too much, but one that might get her some more answers. Because truly, your captain was at a complete loss on what to do here. 

“What did you need to get?” She asked casually. This was normal, she decided. She’d pretend this was normal, and maybe then, you’d talk. 

You were almost done packing the clothes. It was an odd assortment of items that Alexia had seen you place in the bag. Mostly t-shirts and sweatshirts. And she’d never seen you wear any of it before. 

You didn’t reply right away, picking up the last sweatshirt and pulling it on. It was faded, too big on you, and there was a hole in the sleeve, but your entire body relaxed once it was on. Not much, but a noticeable amount. “Just some clothes.” 

“I’ve never seen that sweatshirt before.” Alexia commented, a wave of sadness washing over her as she began to connect the dots. 

“Yeah, it’s- it was my mom’s.” You whispered. “I just really needed to get this stuff. Sorry for leaving without saying anything.” 

Alexia looked at you, seeing a younger version of herself. Wearing a shirt that was much too big on her to bed, convincing herself that if she inhaled deep enough, it would still smell like him. Even if she couldn’t quite remember what that scent even was. 

“That’s okay, nena, I’m not upset.” The blonde gazed out the window for a moment, noticing the sun peaking above the horizon. It was bathing the room in a soft golden glow, and she noticed for the first time the broken bottle on the floor. The rest of the room was warm and soft, very you, but that bottle seemed to mar the entire atmosphere. It was a stain, and Alexia understood, suddenly, why you needed the clothes. 

You wanted the sweatshirt for comfort, yes. But this room had probably been the last place in the house that had remained untouched from your father and his cruelties. And now it had been ruined, and you couldn’t bear the thought of your most favorite possessions remaining here. Especially when you’d left. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself and spoke quietly, almost as if you’d read Alexia’s mind. “This is all I really have left of her. He got rid of the rest of it but I managed to save some of her clothes. I… I just didn’t want to leave them behind.” 

Didn’t want to leave her behind. Not in the place that had turned into hell after she’d gone. 

You were trying to be strong, Alexia could tell. Jaw clenched, blinking hard. Wiping carelessly at the never ending stream of tears. Alexia remembered trying to be strong, too. How it hadn’t even been something she wanted, it was just something she did. 

“Tell me about your mom.” The request escaped without her permission, and she jerked her head in your direction fearfully, terrified that it had been too much. Your lips were turning up at the corners, though, just a bit. Tears still fell, but you did as she asked. 

“She was really funny. We had the same sense of humor, I think, so everything she found funny, I found funny. She’d tell a joke I was already thinking.” 

Alexia hummed, a gentle encouragement as she inched closer to you. You were smiling a bit more now, still in the part of remembering that didn’t yet hurt. 

“She always helped me with my homework after school, and she always tucked me in at night. Even when I was way too old for it.” 

You took a deep breath. It was overwhelming, the love you felt for her. It felt like love, but it also felt like grief. Hot, painful, lingering grief. Still, once you’d started, you didn’t want to stop. You didn’t want to ever stop remembering every good thing about her. 

“She used to watch videos of people explaining football strategies, so we could talk about them. Even when she was sick she still… still watched. She never missed a game, even when she was doing treatment. She’d sit in her car and watch from the parking lot if she had too, but she never missed a game. I was always the most important thing to her. She used to say that being my mom was the best thing she’d ever been, that she’d ever be.”

“She sounds like a really good mom.” Alexia’s hand was on the back of your head, combing delicately through your hair. It felt nice. Safe. 

“She was the best.” You choked out. “She gave the best hugs, and she told me she loved me everyday. And I really really miss her.” You tried to swallow the sob that threatened to force its way out, but you couldn’t. Your grief couldn’t be contained, not anymore. It was an almost unconscious movement, turning to bury your face in Alexia’s sweatshirt. Your body shook with cries, and your captain wrapped her arms around you tightly. As if she could hold you together. 

You appreciated Alexia, more than you would probably ever be able to express. For being so patient, for coming after you, for asking about your mom. For hugging you and holding you tightly as she promised that everything would be okay. But Alexia wasn’t the person you wanted. 

The blonde didn’t understand the first time you said it, your words muffled by the soft fabric of her sweatshirt. But the second time, she did, and it felt like her heart was plummeting out of her chest. 

“I want my mom, Ale,” you sobbed. “I just- I want my mom,” 

She felt your words in her soul, and in that moment she would have done anything to give you what you wanted. It didn’t work like that, though, and she knew that all too well. So, she rubbed your back and kissed the top of your head. She rocked you gently, and made promises. To herself, and to you. 

“I know, I know you do.” She soothed. “I’m so sorry, cariño. Everything is going to be okay. I’ve got you.” 

You only cried harder, and Alexia felt like crying too. 

Nothing felt okay. But Alexia had you, and you believed that. Or at least, you wanted to.

------

Well. Have a good night everyone. tell me if you notice any typos 🥺. also tell me if you enjoyed this because i am so incredibly unsure about it.

[angstywaifu]

Surprise - Liam Mairi x Reader

Prompt - It’s your first Valentine’s Day with Liam, and you’re pulling out all the stops to make it perfect for him…complete with a special surprise

Enjoy the last of my Valentines Day prompts! Thank you to all who sent these in, I had a lot of fun making them!

Since the night of threshing, Liam and I had been in this weird limbo. We had taken our friendship a step further that night. And neither of us regretted it. It was amazing. And it happened again frequently. But neither of us dared to label it any more than just a casual thing. Because that’s all it was. But recently it had felt like the dynamic had changed. Whenever Liam touched me, his hand would linger longer than normal. Anytime there was a free seat next to me, he would be the one to fill it. If it was taken? Then he asked whoever was there to move over. The one that had peaked my interest the most was when I had gotten injured during a challenge. Which wasn’t unusual for me to walk out with some sort of injury. In the next class Liam and the other guy were absent. I later learned Liam had started a fight with them after challenges. Yes my injuries were worse than normal. But still healable. That night I had left him to be on his own. Mainly cause I hadn’t seen him either. Almost as if he had been avoiding me. The next day it had all gone back to normal.

But the shift in dynamic had made me…. Hopeful. I couldn’t deny I wanted more. I’d always had a slight crush on Liam. After the rebellion, we had been sent off to different families, but luckily we were sent to ones close by and frequently did events together. As the only rebellion child at my family I was very much on my own. So Liam became my light in my darkest time. My knight in shinning armour so to speak. Which was very fitting with his tan skin, and soft blonde hair. And those eyes. Eyes I could get lost in and had quite a few times. Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, and surprisingly it seemed to be a big thing here in the quadrant. I guess you have to make the most of the little things around here. And that’s what I had planned to do. Even if I was scared shitless.

”Stop freaking out. It will be fine.” Rhiannon reassured me with a nod from Violet who were both sitting on the floor of my room helping me.

I had decided to leave Liam a bunch of surprise gifts throughout the day. Each with a letter. The last one leading to a surprise I had planned and would reveal it was me all day. Though I was sure he would figure it out pretty quickly. He was very smart. Rhiannon, Violet and even Ridoc and Sawyer had agreed to help me with my plan. They were going to be my couriers so to speak. Each of them giving Liam one of the gifts I had worked on over the last few weeks. The last of which I was working on now. I had managed to convince some of the black smiths to give me some materials to work with, and with the help of my dragon, I had melted it down and made a matching charm for Liam and I to wear on a leather bracelet I had also made. I wanted everything I gave Liam to be hand made. He was always making people things with his wooden carvings. Not long after threshing he had given me one of my own dragon. I kept in on my bedside table. He often teased me about it if we ever came to my room.

“I can’t help it.” I say with a sigh as I struggle to get the charm on one of the bracelets. “What if I do all this for nothing.”

Rhiannon gives me a very unimpressed look. “Girl, it won’t be. Trust me.” She holds her hand out to me. “Now give me that before you throw it out the window.”

I hand her the bracelet and she attaches it almost immediately. The cuff I had made for Liam was far easier to attach than the bracelet I had decided on for myself.

”How about we go over the plan again?” Violet suggests as she notices me start to fidget and pick at a fingernail.

Rhiannon nods in agreement. “So Violet is giving him the first present correct?”

I nod. “Yes, the candle I made.”

Violet holds up the neatly wrapped package I had given her just before.

”And at lunch time, I will give him the new wood working set you’ve gotten him.” Rhiannon adds. “Leaving Ridoc and Sawyer to cause chaos and essentially drag him to the tower where you will be waiting.”

”Yes, and I will have the bracelets and be quietly shitting myself that he might reject me.”

Rhiannon and Violet both look at me with very unimpressed looks.

”He is not going to reject you.” Rhiannon scolds me. She’s been doing that a lot the last few days.

”Rhi is right, he won’t. It will all go to plan.” She reassures me.

The girls bid me goodnight and good luck for tomorrow. Luckily no classes are on, so I will be doing my best to be around as little as possible. Hopefully Liam doesn’t try to come looking for me. But Violet assures me she will find a way to keep him busy. Which I’m sure involves the likes of Xaden. That man would do anything for her.

The next day I hide in my room. I need to make sure Liam is gone before I leave. I can’t risk him seeing me. I hear feet stop outside my door and I freeze. It was him, there was no denying that. I vaguely hear Violet call out to him. My heart is pounding too loudly in my ears for me to hear anything they say as I stand there frozen to the ground. A few minutes pass and I watch the shadows outside my door walk away. I let out the breath I had been holding for god knows how long. I open the door slowly and peek out, just in time to catch Violet following Xaden and Liam around the corner. As if she knows I’m there she looks back at me and smiles. Liam was taken care of for the day. I grab my pack with the stuff I had packed last night and made my way to the tower I had planned to use. In the many times I had gone there to escape the quadrant for a few moments, I had never seen anyone there. And today was no exception. Honestly I don’t think anyone had really been up here in years till I found it. It had a beautiful view of the valley and mountains that surrounded the college. Especially in the afternoon as the sun was setting. Which was when I planned for Ridoc and Sawyer to lead Liam up here.

Just as I’ve finished setting up the blanket, some small mage lights strung on some string and some food I had gotten from the kitchens I hear the faint sounds of commotion down below. Ridoc and Sawyer were right on time. I hear foot steps walking up to where I am. I quickly rush over and sit on the ledge of the tower, trying to act as if I’ve been patiently been waiting and my heart isn’t trying to escape my chest. The foot steps stop behind me.

“Y/N?”

I turn around to see Liam standing there, his chest rising and falling as if he’s been running. I was going to have to ask Ridoc and Sawyer what the hell they had done to get him over here. He looks confused at first as he takes in the blanket and pillows, and everything I had set up.

”All the things today, that was all you?” He asks as he walks over to where I am sat.

I nod. “Yeah it was all me. Though I will say I have no idea or had any say in how Ridoc and Sawyer got you here.”

He laughs. “Lets just say they went to a lot of effort to get me here.” He rests his hands on my legs as he stands right in front of me. “Guess I should say thank you for everything you’ve done today.”

“Don’t say thank you just yet.” I tell him.

He tilts his head to the side with a confused look as I reach into the pocket of my jacket and pull out the small bag I had put the leather cuff I had made him. I hold it out to him and he slowly takes it from me. His eyes go wide as he reaches in and pulls out the black leather cuff I had made, a small metal charm in the shape of the protection rune his mum had made us. As he looks back up at me I swear I see tears in his blue eyes. He moves so fast I barely have time to react as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me off the ledge and into a kiss. We had kissed before but not like this. This was different.

We’re a tangle of limbs as I wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers locking in his blonde hair. His arms around my waist. He quickly manoeuvres us so his back is against the pillar and I am leaning up against him between his legs. He breaks away from the kiss, one of his hands reaching up to cup my cheek. A goofy smile on his face that I can’t help but mimic.

”Thank you. You have no idea how much that gift means to me. What you’ve done all day. I had a feeling it was you. That candle instantly reminded me of the orchard back home. I just knew it was you.” He says to me quietly. “And now I can do what I’ve been wanting to do all day. Hell what I’ve been wanting to do for weeks. What I went to do first thing today.”

“And what’s that?” I ask nervously.

”Will you be my girlfriend?”

[dia-souls]

🐺 Shinyui fanfic 🐺

Pairing: Tsukinami Shin x Komori Yui

⚠️ TW: Blood Mentioned, Violence, Death, Pregnancy, Toxic relationship, Marriage without love, Tragedy end ⚠️

Author: Admin Irsa

Note: I have been trying to working on it for three days 😷, this one is really something the main couple was supposed to Shinyui but Carlayui is my fav I couldn't control myself to not to add Carlayui in it. I literally deleted a lot of scenes again and again and rewriting it. Reviews are welcomed. I hope you all will like it! It's all for the Tsukinami fans out there!👀 Whom love them like me!

Bloody Throne

"What?! Are you joking with me Shin-kun?"

Shin huffed in annoyance.

"I am not joking Yui. I really want you to do this!"

"Are you sure about what you are asking??!"

"Yes! I am 100 percent sure!"

Shin looked Yui with cold gaze.

"Why are you not gonna do it? ...You said you will give your life for me Yui.... I am not even asking for your life? Is it too much to ask?!"

Yui now looked down. She sighed.

"But.. I love you Shin-kun."

She glanced at her long flowy pink dress. She occasionally looked at the ball. They both were in balcony away from prying eyes of Shin's wife. Yes, Shin's wife.....

"Shin-kun... I think this isn't a good thing to do. Carla-san doesn't deserve this neither your wife--"

Yui stepped away fron him. Her blonde hair now shadowing her face as she felt tears pricking her eyes she tries to control her emotions.

Shin now rolled his eyes. He walked towards her and hugged her. He carresed her hair trying to relax her.

"I just ask a small favour Yui.... You don't need to get this emotional. Besides my current wife is for me to gain political power not for love. The only person, I love is you Yui."

He cupped her wet cheeks to look at her eyes. He didn't take long to kiss her forehead and cheeks.

"If you love me Shin-kun, don't ask me to such a big sin. I am not yours. We shouldn't meet each other like this, I already carry the biggest sin on my shoulders. Scheming against your wife--"

Shin sighed again.

"There is no need to cry, I will make sure that by the end of the game you will be mine so our meeting aren't that much off a big sin! My wife, no that women means nothing. I will make sure she will be dea--"

"No! No Shin-kun. She is innocent. She shouldn't be treated like that--"

"The only thing I care about is that you and me!! I don't care what happens to anyone. Yui it's not her it's everyone!!?"

Yui huffed. She then seperated from Shin's hug and turned away.

"Yui... Will you do it?"

Yui didn't answer but she felt Shin's arm pulling her back. He was now hugging her, his head on her shoulder.

"Yui you know it's my biggest dream to surpass him. What I asked you to do isn’t that difficult. You just need to cooperate. If you don't do it, then I will never have the power to make you mine and to divorce my wife."

He turned her around.

"But Shin-kun, killing Carla-san isn't a good idea. He is your older brother, rightful heir to the throne. Besides snatching something that already belongs to him is wrong---"

"Yui.... Did you forgot what he did to me?!"

He took her hand to his eye which is now gone and covered with patch.

"You already knew how I wished to surpass him to win against him!? And this time he humiliated me infront of those inferior viboras!? What did I do huh? Just told them their place? What type of king bows to inferior being, sacrifice his own brother's eye and apologize to snakes?! "

Yui looked at him with sorrow as she knows how much Shin wants to surpass him and his desires.

"Shin-kun but still we shouldn't stomp so low..."

"Yui whatever I am doing is for us, too I have so many reasons to kill Carla... I want to kill him to prove myself and besides, a king doesn't bow. He doesn't deserve a throne, I am doing this to save kingdom from such an unreasonable king?! More importantly..... I am doing this to get you, to gain the power, to get rid of my wife and to have you, I am doing it for our love Yui! "

Shin seperated from Yui, He gave her a strange blue veil. He turned around to leave.

"This veil has Endzeit. A disease that can only kill a founder. Yui marry Carla and make sure to give this poison in small amount to him."

He turned to look at Yui. Whom was now red because of crying tears were sliding down her cheek.

"Don't cry Yui... If you do this I will become king and our dream to be together will come true. We will live happily... But."

Yui now looked at him with her red eyes. Her hand now weakly held the veil as if she will drop it at any moment, she is disgusted to do such thing to Carla.

"If you don’t do it, consider it the end of our relationship and don't approach me again, it's time Yui for you to prove your love for me."

Shin now looked coldly at Yui hoping this threat will convince her to commit this act.

Yui's hand on veil tightened as she heard his words, her heart was crumbling. Her head was hurting as her love for Shin and desires were fighting against her morals. She looked at Shin pitifully before smiling her tears still were sliding down her cheek.

Whatever sin and thing I will do is for love. God is forgiving man. if sinner sins and ask for forgiveness. Beside isn't everything fair in love and war she is going to do this for love. Carla snatched her lover's eye she will snatch his health.

Yui looked at Shin.

She needs to prove her love.

*TIMESKIP*

Yui nervously sighed as she looked around her bedroom. Her new home. Yui thoughts trail to present events. She is now sitting in bedroom of Carla. She successfully married Carla. Unlike Shin's wife, she doesn’t have any influence or power. She is high priest daughter. Her father was a very respectable individual in society. Church had a great influence in this kingdom thats the reason she was allowed to attend balls and parties.

Carla knows that if he married her he will gain influence from his kingdom which is nothing compare to marrying a foreign princess whom will actually tie her own kingdoms string with his. This is what Shin had done. He married a princess because of this he had a backup. Carla as heir, as king was expected to do same but she knows and Shin too how much Carla loves Yui. He always have loved her if only she will comply he won't hesitate to marry her. He prioritise his love for her over political power.

If only he knew what a big price he is going to pay for his love.

Yui internally was comparing Carla with Shin. Both are brothers but both have different priority. Shin wanted power before her but Carla, he didn't care of how big opportunity, he is going to let go a queen position is no joke after all, he might recieve love from their kingdom but other kingdoms whom were expecting their princesses to be married will be dissapointed and salty.

Yui looked up as she heard door open. She saw Carla entering her room. It's their wedding night after all.

Carla walked closer to Yui and sat on bed. Yui looked at him her heart felt heavy not because of what She is going to do to him but because it felt as if she is going to cheat. Her heart was blackening but love is a pure feeling but she is feeling a burden on her heart.

Carla touched Yui's face, caressing her face gently his hand then went towards her neck to pull her closer to him.

Yui felt tears pricking her eyes but she controlled herself she refuse to reply to his affection and advances whatever she is doing is to satisfy shin not her. She didn't feel anything when carla confessed his love for her, how much he wanted to be her his hands touching her and removing her clothes. He was gentler with her not like thoes husbands whom only care about satisfying themselves using their wife bodies as a plaything. He was being kind with her the scary wedding night stories she heard from her fellows are completely opposite to what was happening to her.

She groaned when she felt Carla getting rougher with her, his pace getting a bit faster, her back hitted the bed, her leg lifted by him. His lips collided with as they both layed bared, his kiss unlike his action was gentle and sweet. He mumbled "I love you" while biting her neck.

_________🌹_________

"Achooo!!... Ach..waghh"

Carla continued to cough black his condition was getting worse councils were noticing it too the way his health was detorating his weakened state yet his sense and gaze remained firmed and cold showing no weakness. Yui heard him coughing. Her heart twisting painfully. She felt so bad but she didn't move from her fake sleeping. She pretended as if she was sleeping while hearing him coughing furiously.

Tears slid down her cheeks but she remained asleep her hand went towards her stomach she was going to be a mother soon. Shin wasn't happy by the news but he told her to wait some more as Carla unlike others was way too strong to pass away soon. Yui wondered what will happen once he dies what about the baby. Shin won't tolerate Carla's baby inside her.

Only Yui knows his health issues as she was always around him. He made her not to tell anyone he was making Yui's mission easier. He once caught veil with her she nervously asked for it back to which in reply he smiled and handed her back at that point she felt something she and him are going to be parents soon their baby--no they both had no future why because she loves Shin and she is going to be with someone whom she loves. Shin loves her and they will be endgame not Carla and him or Shin's wife and him just her and him!

Yui heard Carla finally stopped coughing she remained still his next words broke her heart.

"To think that such a weak man will protect you... I hope I will be able to protect Yui and our child"

Yui felt tears dripping down her cheeks upon hearing his words is it really worth it. She thought her desires are going to take two lives..... Two inncoent life.

_________🌹_________

Shin sighed as he rubbed his temples getting alies is really something how does his brother deal with them?! He thought he is superior and powerful if it weren't for Carla not dying quickly he wouldn't bother doing this dirty work with Carla's child on his way his chance to attain throne decreased he needs to pull Yui out of this mess.

Speaking of Yui only he knows how much rage and anger he feels seeing her next to Carla and their so called child is what caused Shin to go on rampage he saw red but he knows his patience will give him a reward.

"They are so cute!" said one maid.

"Us founders are so lucky to have King and Queen like them they are perfect together I wonder--" said another maid.

In a split second the maid head was smashed against the wall, blood drips to the floor like droplets the wall had cracks on it. The present maid gave a shrill scream in horror, she felt so scared.

"Get out..." Shin said while moving away from scene while stepping on maids hand before moving.

The maid was whimpering to stunned to move.

"I SAID GET OUT!!? DAMN IT!!" He grabbed maid by collar his golden eyes shinning dangerously.

"Don't. Speak. When. You. Know. Nothing!??" He said while throwing the pale maid and getting out off room.

He will kill Carla, he just lended her Yui but she will remain his for forever

"Tch!! Damn it!"

*Few months later*

"No!" Yui said

"What do you mean by no?" Shin asked as he walked towards Yui. To which Yui backed away maintaining their distance.

"I won't give any poison to Carla anymore. He and me have a son together there is no way I am going to let you harm him no my family! "

Yui was than slamed against wall by Shin. Shin gripped her neck applying a bit pressure.

"You realize what you just said?!? Yui we both are lovers we love each other!!?"

"I won't follow your plan anymore!!" Yui said with determination in her eyes.

"A plan?! Yes! A plan for us for our bright future!! I did everything for us!? "

"No!! Shin you did nothing but cause me pain you married your wife for influence but why is she preganant by your child?! You used me as a bait to finish off Carla you did all this just for yourself not for--"

Shin slammed his hand beside Yui. Yui was again crying she was startled.

"Oh really?!! Do you realize how much anger I feel whenever I see you with his child?! I just want you to feel same pain as me Yui! It frustrated me too... but Yui you I love you what I feel for that women is nothing?! I did got her preganant but it was all mistake on my part!! "

Yui than pushed Shin away from her.

"I dont care Shin it's enough! You and me aren't possible... I am your brother's wife. I am ending this relation of us right now. I can't sacrifice my son for your desires!!"

Shin laughed at her, Yui loves him but it's her motherhood that is stopping her from staying by Shin's side. Shin now realized didn't all this started when he reavealed to Yui how much he detest her son as he is sick of hearing all palace talking about them. Since that day Yui has become quite and distant.

"I will kill your son for sure Yui... It's too late Yui.. You will be mine one way or another because I have already pulled strings. Carla will recieve death penalty you and your son will be at my mercy! "

Yui walked towards Shin. She asked in desperate voice.

"What did you do to Carla?! "

"Nothing, I just killed some vibora and pushed blame on him and he will be punished for violating treaty vibora demand his head..... Council members already know of his sickness. He isn't suited to be king because of his health so this give them a reason to get rid of him. I did pulled some strings by using my wife background. He is sentenced to death." He gave a sadistic smile to Yui.

Yui's eyes widened. She immediately ran out to search for Carla. She saw him in a distance being unconscious with alot of black blood. He was being carried by soldier. She sprinted towards him.

"CARLA!!" She yelled but was stopped by soldiers.

"Please!! Stop this please--"

Yui was then knocked unconscious by Shin who was following her.

________🌹________

Yui was kneeling at dungeon floor while crying. Her eyes out as she looked at Carla in cell being restrained who was constantly telling her to stop crying.

"I did wrong to you Carla. It's all my fault. Forgive me please!"

"Hahha.. How does it feel big brother I finally surpassed you. I snatched everything from you."

Carla laughed at him. He looked at him in eyes. His state was literally pitiful but he still seem majestic, his aura still powerful.

"Snatched? Do you really think, I wasn't aware? You snatched nothing from me rather I was ready to give it to you if only you were patient Shin."

Yui and Shin looked at him confusingly not understanding his words, Carla smiled at them.

"I knew it from the start what you both are up to and what's your relation with each other. I wasn't poisoned rather I was already infected with Endzeit long ago. I knew what Yui was doing. My throne would be yours if only you waited one way or another way it was going to be yours."

Carla coughed again.

"But I decided to play with you both for trying to scheme against me. I loved Yui and snatched her from you. Yui and me have a child. If you waited me and Yui will never be married neither she would come to love me. I didn't lose. I spend my last moment with my love. I am ready to go. Yui you can still be happy right?"

Yui's face was red as she was still sniffing. Shin was enraged all this was for nothing. It feels as if he hasn't accomplished anything rather was played by Carla. He suffered watching Yui with him for nothing.

"Execute him right now!!" he gave order to the guard. He grabbed Yui to drag her away from dungeon who refused to leave Carla but Shin still dragged her away.

"Stop crying Yui!? You belong to me!! What is bothering you huh?!!"

"You won't understand what I feel right now Shin!! You used me and betrayed me!! "

"Betrayed you?"

Shin rolled his eyes, he grabbed Yui by shoulders gently this time, he looked at her swollen eyes, her cheeks still wet with tears, he caressed her cheek.

"Yui, don't do this..... you hate that she is pregnant right? How about I kill her and her child off. Our baby will become next king, how about it?! "

Yui's eyes widened in horror.

"You! Shin you realize what you are saying?! That's your baby!! "

Shin rubbed his temples.

"I just don't care... I don't care about her and her child, I care about you. Only you and our child matters to me most. She served her purpose. I will execute her right now!"

Yui pushed him, she was disgusted why? Why did she loved him?!

"You are.... You are a monster. You just care about yourself and your desires matter--"

Yui was then slapped by Shin.

"My desires??! .....MY DESIRES WAS ONCE YOURS TOO!!"

He grabbed Yui by hair.

"Where is my son?"

Yui asked Shin gently this time. She remember putting him to sleep and had maids watch over him. Her heart was racing as her baby thoughts filled her mind, she wanted to hold him right now!!

Shin sighed.

"Dead... Dead like him, he was killed before him actually."

Yui didn't react. She free herself from Shin and ran towards balcony and got on top off it, she felt her head getting heavy, her whole body felt as if she is on fire and she looked at shin.

"So, I will join them...."

"YUI!!! NO..... STOP GET DOWN!! "

Shin sprinted towatds her and try to catch her but Yui's body already had hitten the hard ground, an ugly crack was heard.

"NO!! PLEASE DON'T GO YUI! Why... Why would you do that to me?!! WHY DID YOU ALSO PUNISHED ME?!!"

[ichigopanhpff]

TRANSLATION: TR Character Book "Remember You!" Post ending developments

Wakui-sensei only did this for some of the characters in the book.

Note: Translation isn’t 100% and I may take some liberties in translating certain things for a more colloquial approach. Anything in brackets are my personal notes.

Sano “Mikey” Manjiro:

I’m a racer at 27 years old and my partner is Ken-chin! My dream has always been riding bikes, but my number one dream is for Emma find a good husband. Her and Ken-chin’s child will be born soon; I told them to use “Man” [“万” from his own name “Manjiro” (万次郎). The "Man" in his name came from his grandfather's, Sano Mansaku, while the "Shin" in Shinichiro's name came from their dad, Sano Shin.] in their name, but was met with strong opposition from both of them and called it lame. Those guys… I started to wonder whether or not my own name was lame.

Shiba Hakkai:

Taka-chan and my older brother seem to hang out a lot and they didn’t even think to invite me along. I like both my brothers, but it annoys me neither one of them take an interest in me. When I went home for my birthday, something smelled like it was rotting and my big brother, Yuzuha and Taka-chan were all there. It looked like they were trying to make a birthday cake for me, with Taka-chan teaching them. It tasted horrible and I cried from happiness from them trying to express their love.

Baji Keisuke:

Mansaku-san [Mikey’s grandfather] asked me to train and teach at Sano Dojo once in a while. Even though Mikey is a prodigy, he’s terrible at teaching and seems like I’m better at this than him. Immersing myself in teaching kids karate on top of my daily studies became a good change of pace for me. I want to be a veterinarian but I’m not very smart, so it’s a long and distant dream. Whenever I feel frustrated, sweating it out [in the dojo] mentally prepares me to keep doing my best. It’s my second home.

Hanagaki Takemichi:

At 26 years old, I’m currently an assistant director with a dream of becoming a film director. Everyday is an odd job, but Hina makes me a bento everyday. Before I head out every morning, she tells me “Do your best!”. When I come home completely disheartened, she’ll drink with me over dinner while listening to me complain. I’m a very lucky guy.

Matsuno Chifuyu:

Baji-san and Kazutora-kun always comes over to my house to eat since they have no money; it’s almost like extortion. But I can’t raise their wages without a reason and I can’t exactly refuse either. When the 3 of us cooked for the first time, the food was a mess, burnt and tasted thin. After suffering through that, I went out and bought tons of recipe books. Now, I’m cooking for 3 at a pro-level. They’ve recently been coming over, happily waiting for me.

Mitsuya Takashi:

While establishing my fashion brand TAKASHI MITSUYA as a designer, I hired Yasuda-san as my assistant, my assistant manager from the Handicraft Club back in middle school. She somehow married Peh-yan last year, even though their relationship were on bad terms. I hear Yasuda-san grumbling about him often while we’re working. From what I heard, Peh stuck with Pa-chin even after being married.

Ryuguji “Draken” Ken:

Emma and I live on the lower floor in the same apartment complex as Takemitchy and his wife. He came crying to me saying, “Even though we’re newlyweds, Emma-chan’s at my place every day and I can’t be alone with Hina.” The 4 of us are eating nabe [hot pot] together again.

[stevethehairington]

Hellooo if I'm not too late to the prompts party. My glittery dice humbly request 57 romantic Steddie

Iloveeverythingyouwriteokaybye 😳🫣 *hides under the carpet*

helllooooo!! omg you are SOOO not too late!!! your dice are FANTASTIC omg i love the glitter, and ohohoh let me tell you. they chose EXCELLENTLY, if i do say so myself.

this prompt was SO much fun to fill omg i had the best time writing it.

i want you to know my first thought for this prompt ("there is enough room for both of us") was to have steve and eddie having just finished watching titanic and somehow find a way to recreate the door and see if they both can fit on it LMAO

i went with this instead, because it was the second thing that popped into my head and it is a classic:

[read on ao3]

57. "there is enough room for both of us"

Since they’ve finished the renovations, the Byers-Hopper’s new farmhouse has quickly become the party’s number one hangout.

With a basement fit for running DnD campaigns out of, a yard spacious enough to chase each other for hours in, plenty of soft sofas and cushions for everyone to crash on around the television set, and a homey kitchen with a dining table big enough to seat them all, it’s perfect. Not to mention, Joyce has personally extended an open invitation to every single one of them; her home is their home and they are welcome anytime.

So, yeah, home base these days looks a lot like the rustic, cozy living room in the middle of that big, beautiful house.

Which is exactly where Steve finds himself tonight. The whole party has come together for one of their beloved movie nights, and there is no better place to do it than right there.

They’re on the third or maybe fourth film of the night, but Steve isn’t the only one that has lost count. The kids are all spread out and sprawled out across the floor, fast asleep where they’re squished together in one big puppy pile. Dustin, Will, and Lucas are so tangled that it’s hard to tell who’s limbs start and end where, and further down, Max uses Mike’s shin as a pillow. How that’s comfortable, Steve has no idea — the Wheeler’s are the boniest bunch of people he knows.

El is the only one of the kids not on the floor. Instead, she lies on the couch, curled up like a bug against Joyce’s side. Her head is in Joyce’s lap. and Joyce runs her fingers soothingly through El’s hair. She’s tucked up under Hopper’s arm, and he trails the tips of his fingers up and down her arm. Kisses her temple every so often.

It’s cute, they’re cute. Steve keeps stealing glances at them, wishing he could be the one cuddled up to someone like that.

Instead he’s just squished between Robin and Eddie on their couch. Robin lies to his right, mostly slumped onto Nancy, who sits to her right, but she’s kicked up her feet into Steve’s lap. She keeps wiggling her socked toes to catch his attention, then bounces her eyebrows up and down as she looks past him to where Eddie sits to Steve’s left.

Each time it happens Steve pinches her leg. That doesn’t deter her in the slightest, though. She just whispers to Nancy and the two of them giggle quietly together.

Steve tries to ignore it, and thankfully, he’s pretty successful at that. Beside him, Eddie keeps dipping his head towards Steve so he can whisper his string of running commentary about each of the movies they’ve watched. It ranges from interesting factoids about the film, to silly discrepancies and plot points that make no sense, to putting on a goofy voice and imitating the characters to make them say ridiculous things instead. Steve’s heart squeezes in his chest each time Eddie says something new.

The current movie has been on for a little over an hour now, but neither one of them have really been following along. Instead, they’ve been making things up to match the action unfolding onscreen. Intricate, over the top backstories for the main characters and all the side ones too; ridiculous, senseless motivations for every move they make; witty, snappy one liners to replace the cheesy dialogue that actually exists in the movie. It’s a good thing most of their company has retired for the night, otherwise they’d have been shushed right out of the room.

It isn’t too much longer before Nancy and Robin decide they’ve had enough for the night and bid the room adieu. They slip off down the hall towards the guest bedroom that they’re sharing, leaving the rest of the couch finally free. Neither Steve nor Eddie move to stretch out into the empty space, though. They stay pressed up against each other, the way they’ve been all night.

Eventually, Eddie yawns so wide that his jaw cracks.

“Alright,” he declares, a finality to his tone. He drops a hand to Steve’s knee, to give it a pat. “Time for me to turn in.”

His hand slips off of Steve’s knee, and he rises to his feet, stretching his arms up and out. The hem of his t-shirt rides up, and Steve has to bite down on his tongue.

He lets the residual warmth from Eddie’s touch pull him off of the couch too, almost like he’s chasing it. Chasing Eddie. 

“Yeah, okay, me too,” Steve says, busying himself with folding the blanket he and Eddie had been sharing. He drapes it over the back of the couch and turns to say goodnight to Joyce and Hopper.

“Heading to sleep already?” Joyce asks, turning her attention to the two of them. “Your room’s down the hall on the right. Will said he dropped your bags in there earlier.”

“Thanks, Mrs. B-H,” Eddie says, throwing her a finger gun and a charming smile.

“Joyce, Eddie,” she reminds him, raising her eyebrows in that stern, motherly way. The soft smile set onto her own mouth softens it. Tells him that her exasperation is only fond.

Eddie ducks his head, chuckling. “Joyce,” he corrects.

“Thank you, Joyce,” Steve chimes in, not making the same mistake as Eddie. He flashes him a smug little grin, and swallows down his laugh when Eddie subtly sticks his middle finger out at him.

Hopper, of course, notices, and he just snorts gruffly, shaking his head in amusement.

“You two have a good night,” Steve tells them, straightening up.

“You too, sweetie,” Joyce replies. “And if you boys need anything you come find me, okay?” 

They nod and relay their thanks once more before Steve gives a little wiggle of his fingers as a parting wave, then turns to shove at Eddie’s shoulders until he starts to walk towards the hallway.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Eddie insists, but he lets himself be manhandled anyway.

Their room is the last door on the right, just like Joyce told them.

Eddie pushes inside first, immediately flicking the lights on. He spots their bags in the corner and beelines straight for them.

Steve, on the other hand, freezes in the doorway.

Because, oh. Oh.

There’s only one bed.

Which — Steve doesn’t know why this surprises him. This isn’t a hotel. It’s a guest room at a friend’s house. Of course it’s not going to have two beds in one room. He doesn’t know why he was expecting that.

But it’s — it’s fine. This is cool. He can share a bed for the night. He’s shared lots of beds in his day. There’s nothing different about this time.

Except that there is because he doesn’t have to share with just anybody. He has to share with Eddie.

Eddie, who hasn’t even batted an eye at the bed situation. Eddie, who seems cool as a cucumber about it. Eddie, who—

Who’s already shucked his shirt off and has his thumbs hooked into his sweats, about to tug those off too, and jesus fucking christ, Steve can’t do this. He cannot do this.

He clears his throat. “You know, uh, I’m gonna go ask Joyce if there’s, like, a blow up mattress or something,” Steve says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

Without waiting for a response, he starts to turn. But Eddie catches his wrist, stopping him before he can even take a step.

Steve pointedly does not look down at Eddie’s bare legs and his too small boxers that have little gremlin heads all over. (And, jesus, how the fuck does he make gremlin boxers fucking work? It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all.)

Eddie’s brows quirks up. His teeth practically glint and his eyes sparkle as he asks, “Scared of my cooties, Harrington?”

And it’s not exactly like Steve can snark back with a funny story, but quite the opposite, actually. So he settles for twisting his arm out of Eddie’s grasp and laughing it off.

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious,” he deadpans. “Bed just looks small is all,” he adds with a shrug.

Eddie watches him for a moment, then makes a face. “Aw, come on, Stevie, there’s enough room for both of us.”

That didn’t work. Steve tries again.

“Well if you sleep at all like you walk—” he flings his arms around and kicks his feet out all loosey goosey with each step he takes — “then I’d rather save myself the trouble. I bruise like a peach, Munson. A peach!”

Eddie barks out a laugh, like he genuinely thinks that’s funny, then he sways forward, further into Steve’s space.

Steve tries to take a subtle step back, but he bumps right into the dresser, trapped.

“You’re resilient,” Eddie says, tilting his head like a curious puppy. “Besides, if that’s what you’re so worried about — don’t be.”

“Oh yeah? Why not?” Steve asks, not nearly as challenging as he’d like to be. 

Eddie leans in closer, grin sharp. “‘Cause I’m a cuddler.”

Then he’s gone from Steve’s space, just like that, dancing across the room to pick his side of the bed.

And Steve? Steve is screwed.

He makes quick work of changing into his own pajamas — or of removing his own clothes, since he too had opted for just his good ‘ol briefs to keep his modesty during the night. He wishes he’d had the forethought to wear boxers at the very least. His tighty whitey’s leave him feeling too exposed.

Steve tries not to dwell on it, though. (Because dwelling on his underwear just makes him think of Eddie’s underwear, and that is the last thing he needs right before he slips into bed with him.)

Eddie’s already beneath the covers, rolled onto his side and fidgeting as he tries to get comfortable.

Steve approaches the empty half of the bed — the right side, his usual side. Part of him wonders if Eddie knew that or if it was just a lucky guess. The other part of him wonders if maybe the left side is just Eddie’s usual side. If that means that they just fit.

What the hell, Steve, get a fucking grip, he tells himself, shaking his head clear. 

He takes a moment to collect himself — the steel himself, as he reaches for the lamp light. It’ll be easier to climb into bed with the lights out. If he can’t see Eddie, then Eddie can’t see him, and that means there’s less of a chance of somehow embarrassing himself.

“Come on in, the water’s fiiiiine,” Eddie sing-songs, smacking his hand down onto the empty space beside him.

Steve huffs out a laugh, then turns out the light.

The room plunges into darkness, but it’s not pitch black. There’s too much residual glow from the moonlight outside seeping in through the window blinds, but it’s dark enough that it isn’t so daunting as Steve crawls into bed and slips under the sheets.

He lies flat on his back, folds his hands over his belly button, and wiggles his shoulders a little to settle into the pillow.

“Goodnight, Eddie,” Steve says. 

He doesn’t close his eyes, though. How can he? He’s hyper aware of Eddie beside him, not touching but close enough that Steve can feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. He’s breathing softly, but it’s loud enough that it echoes through Steve’s ears. 

Eddie doesn’t say anything back at first. But Steve can feel his eyes on him.

Then, “That’s it? ‘Goodnight’,” he mimics, dropping his voice to sound like Steve’s.

He squirms closer, and suddenly his knee is against the side of Steve’s thigh, his toes brushing Steve’s shin. Steve’s heart rate spikes. 

“That’s how you’re sleeping?” Eddie asks, full of judgment.

Steve frowns. “Yeah,” he replies, the duh very much implied. (Not that there’s any bit of truth to that answer. He hadn’t exactly planned on getting any sleep tonight. This is just the easiest position to control himself in, that’s all.)

“On your back?” Eddie questions.

“Yeah,” Steve repeats. “Goodnight.”

Eddie scoffs. “Jesus, no wonder you never get enough sleep. People who sleep on their backs are monsters,” he jokes. 

Steve ignores him.

Eddie leans in close. Pokes his finger into Steve’s arm. “You’re a monster, Stevie,” he whispers.

Unsatisfied with the lack of response, Eddie continues too.

“This isn’t a coffin, y’know,” Eddie teases, flopping onto his back and crossing his arms in an X over his chest. He sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth too, playing dead.

Steve continues to ignore him.

Eddie rolls back onto his side, facing Steve. Somehow, he’s even closer. “You can get comfortable,” he says.

“I am comfortable,” Steve replies, finally breaking his silence.

“Bullshit,” Eddie objects. “You’re as stiff as a rock.” He prods Steve again as if to prove his point when he doesn’t budge. Then he curls his fingers around Steve’s bicep.

His touch lights every single nerve in Steve’s arm up, and he has to dig his nails into the backs of his hands to keep from doing something stupid, like pulling Eddie’s hand away from his arm so he can hold it instead.

“I’m not gonna bite, y’know,” Eddie says lightly. A second passes, and Steve can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he adds, “Unless you want me to.”

And it’s too much, jesus christ, it’s way too much.

“Could you just back off?” Steve finally snaps. 

He regrets it instantly.

Eddie’s hand falls from his arm, like he’s the one that got burned, and the sheets rustle as he shrinks back into his own space. His knee disappears from Steve’s thigh, his toes leave his shin, and Steve suddenly feels cold.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Eddie says, sobered. He sounds so small. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

And Steve wants to cry because no, that is not it at all. He’s not uncomfortable, not even close, and he’s not upset either. He’s just… overwhelmed. But even that isn’t a bad thing. Eddie didn’t do anything wrong.

“Eddie,” Steve says, rolling onto his side to face Eddie. Eddie’s back is to him, though. Steve reaches out, but he doesn’t touch. He just lets his hand hover over Eddie’s back.

“That’s not it,” he tells him. “I’m not uncomfortable, I promise.”

Eddie makes a noise, sort of like a scoff. Like he doesn’t believe him. “Sure,” he says.

“I’m not!” Steve insists and he flattens his palm to Eddie’s skin. Bends his fingers over the curve of Eddie’s shoulder.

“Then what is it?” Eddie asks, turning over. The movement shakes Steve’s hand off. “What’s your deal, Steve?”

Steve winces at the way he says his name. It doesn’t sound very nice. Not the way it usually does when Eddie says it. God, he’s fucked this up so bad.

Why couldn’t he just chill the fuck out and share the bed like a normal person? Why did he have to ruin everything?

There’s only one way to fix this, though. There’s only one way, and Steve has to do it.

“I want it too much.”

“What?”

Steve squeezes his eyes shut. “I want it too much,” he repeats.

There’s a beat, a totally silent, totally nervwracking beat. And then… the mattress shifts. Eddie’s knee presses into his thigh again. His knuckles graze against Steve’s where his hand lies atop the pillow between them.

“Want… what, exactly?” Eddie asks slowly, and he’s close enough now that Steve can feel his breath ghosting against his face.

Steve opens his eyes, and Eddie’s there, he’s right there, with his big, round eyes. With his parted lips. With this naked vulnerability laying his face bare.

Steve swallows. Lets out a shaky exhale.

“You.”

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath.

“Me?” He whispers.

Steve nods. “You,” he repeats, putting everything behind that one word.

Eddie makes a choked noise, and Steve has zero point five seconds to start to panic before Eddie’s hands fly up to grab either side of his face, squishing his cheeks almost painfully, and he practically throws himself on top of Steve as he tackles him into the pillow and catches his mouth in a kiss.

It’s messy; Eddie sort of misses Steve’s mouth at first, accidentally nails more of his chin than his lips, and when he does finally find those, their teeth end up clacking from the force of their smiles that keep trying to break through. They end up doing more laughing into each other’s mouths than kissing at first, but then Steve slides his hands up Eddie’s back, and Eddie’s gasps into his mouth and Steve takes the chance to fit their lips together properly. To kiss and to kiss and to kiss.

When they break apart seconds, minutes, hours — who even knows? — later, Steve feels like he’s floating on air.

“Jesus christ,” Eddie laughs beside him as he rolls off of Steve to flop back against his own pillow. He doesn’t let go of Steve’s hand. 

“You want me. You want me. You want me,” Eddie repeats, laughing delightedly again.

Steve twists towards Eddie, wriggling into his space. “And you want me too,” he says.

Eddie nods, cupping Steve’s jaw again. “There’s nothin’ I want more, Stevie.”

Steve ducks in for another kiss — he can’t help himself. It’s short, and it’s sweet, but it’s everything to him.

He makes a mental note to get up early tomorrow to cook Joyce a great big breakfast. Maybe swing by her favorite little local cafe for some coffee and find a nice bouquet of flowers somewhere too. He’s got to thank her somehow — it’s her house, her home, afterall, that gave him the nudge he needed. That gave him Eddie.

When Steve finally falls asleep that night, it’s with Eddie starfished against his back, legs tangled with his beneath the covers, arms secure around Steve’s waist, and nose tucked into the crook of his neck.

He’s definitely a cuddler.

But so is Steve.

100 ways to say i love you prompts

[itsbebebrainrotting]

Town of fobo was all but a ghost town. Which was funny, because there were a lot of more haunted places on Quesadilla island.

Sunny woke up to a dead silent house, the only occasional noise being the chirps of chocobos upstairs and maybe an especially loud horse (the wither skeletons were too far underground to be audible). It was the day before their birthday and she had been stuck in bed for days, no motivation to leave unless someone arrived to give her cookies and keep her going.

Leo had also been holed up in her own bed for days since her own pa had disappeared, lying next to Sunny (the younger girl had started putting her bed in Leo's room since Valentine's day and the older didn't complain). They rarely lay awake at the same time, but, when they did, they didn't say a word to one another. It wasn't a cold uncaring silence, not at all. It was more of an "I'm not comfortable talking about my emotions right now and neither are you but we have nothing else to talk about, so let's just enjoy each other's presence" kind of silence. A mutual understanding that they didn't want to talk about it. Any of it.

Next to Sunny, Leo shuffled a bit, rolling onto her side and almost smothering herself in her sheets.

Today, Sunny wanted to see their pa. Or at least, they wanted to see him sometime in the next 48 hours.

As such, they rolled out of bed, and headed to their own closet to pick out an outfit. They popped on their signature sunglasses and a baby blue dress with a poofy skirt that cut off at Sunny’s shins. Something nice in her dad's favourite colour.

They then got their weapons and armour on them, because she knew everyone would be mad at her if the left her house without it all (she still remembered getting chastised by Phil for being too weak for diamond armour the first time they met; it was scary) and headed to the storage terminal.

Sunny noted the location where her pa died on her map when Phil forced them and Chayanne to leave the body's side after it happened. It was circled in a hot pink felt tip. She then searched for the nearest waypoint. It would be a long boat journey away...

Oh well! Sunny had travelled to accountant Bad's on her own! She could do this! They were turning 3 months old, it was time they grew up.

So, they scoured the storage system for a boat and found a speedboat and a small little wooden rowboat, only big enough to fit one adult and one child.

Obviously, the speedboat felt like the smart choice. It was the fast boat for the long journey. Unfortunately, Sunny had never driven a speedboat before. Besides, she wasn't sure what all the little dials and meters inside meant but she was pretty sure it was low on fuel and Sunny didn't know how to give a boat fuel.

So, wooden boat it was! Sunny grabbed it and then hauled it over to Etoiles' waystone, before travelling to the nearest place to the body. They dragged the boat into the water and hopped in.

Oars were heavy. That's what Sunny worked out after 3 minutes of hard work. She wished she could've used the speedboat. Their arms were aching and they were tired and they kept accidentally splashing the water in their mouth and they wanted to go home. Go lie in bed with Leo again. Not wake up unless she had to. Maybe even miss her 3 month birthday. No one would care to throw a party for her anyway. Everyone who would was gone.

But they kept going. Kept rowing and rowing and rowing. Even if the water was scary and dangerous.

She had to see her pa today. She just had to.

[iamchaos1234]

Day 11 June of Doom: I'm not okay (alternative prompt) (mentions of death and abuse)

Luz took Hunter's hand in hers, dragging him out of the house. "H-hey! I don't wanna-" he squeeked, but was cut off by Luz rolling her eyes.

"You've been hiding inside all day Hunter, you need to touch some grass." She said with a hint of sarcasm, but her intent was genuine.

Hunter groaned, running a hand down his scarred face as Luz yanked him out the door and shut it with her foot behind them.

"And, there's a pretty place I've been meaning to show you near the lake anyways." Luz rambled, holding on firmly to Hunter's wrist, him stumbling to keep up.

It had been a week since everything ended. Since they got back to the demon realm, since they finished off Belos for good. And it had been... hectic, to say the least.

Camila had given Luz the weak off from school to help out with fixing the Boiling Isles, Vee easily filling in for her while she got her bearings and tried to fix things up. It would be a lot of work with the condition the place is in...

Hunter had been helping too obviously. Using the newly made portal, curtly of King, he had been switching between staying with Darius and Camila. He loved his friends and the Boiling Isles, just... too many memories for him to process at the moment.

He tried to keep up as Luz scampered down the diety path towards the lake hidden in the forest behind the shed. Hunter remembered him and his friends came down here while they were stuck in the human realm, playing around in the water and having a picnic by the side.

The thought of being remotely near water sent a shiver up his spine. Thankfully Luz took to a different route which included climbing up a steep slope. Thankfully, due to Hunter's experience and Luz's adventurous nature they both managed fine getting up the slope.

Luz gently pulled him over to an overlook of the lake. The view was beautiful, the view of the forest and lake below them.

"It's... beautiful." Hunter murmered, his eyes shinning slightly. Luz glanced over at him with a small smile. He hadn't shown much positive emotion since he was possessed and...

Luz sat down in the soft green grass, brushing a hand through the small wild flowers and ground cover. Hunter copied her, sitting down pressing his back gently against hers.

Both looked out at the scenery, birds twittering to one another, the wind brushing through the trees. Both Luz and her brother were just wearing socks, having run out of the house without another thought.

Hunter had been acting really disconnected since the Halloween hayride, since Belos took him over, since he killed Flapjack. Of course he was happy, Belos was gone! It was finally over, him and his friends, they could live peacefully now!

So why was that pit of guilt gnawing at his heart feeling worse than before? Why did he just want to sleep all day, yet he never slept because of the nightmares that plagued him.

"Hunter... you've been acting odd lately. I-... I know it's been hard... I just, are you doing alright?" Luz murmered, glancing back at him a bit worriedly.

There was a long period of silence where neither spoke. Hunter contemplated the question. Was he alright? He should be. Everything was far better than before, the Boiling Isles was saved! So why did he feel so terrible, like something was missing?

Luz nudged him in the back gently. "Hunter?" She questioned, leaning her head back a bit to look at him better.

Hunter dug his nails into his palms. He should keep it hidden. She shouldn't have to worry, she's already been through so much. But Camila's words rang in his head, "Refusing help may hurt them more in the end".

"I-... I'm not okay..." he murmered. Another pause.

"So much has happened... i- I should be happy, shouldn't I? We finally defeated Belos, we're safe now... but somethings eating at my heart a-and it hurts and I know it shouldn't but-" Hunter cut himself off when Luz took his hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"Take it easy Hunter. I get it, it's alright." She said gently. "You... didn't get much time to process Flapjack's death... it makes sense that it hurts..." she said gently, resting her head against his.

"It'll take a while to feel alright again... losing someone hurts, and the grief won't go away... but with time, it'll be easier." She said, shutting her eyes.

Hunter sighed quietly, tearing up a bit. "I don't want to burden you all... w-we have to fix the Boiling Isles, and I just-" Luz cut him off with a gentle squeeze to his hand.

"Don't worry Hunter..." she said gently, opening her eyes and gazing out at the view.

"We have all the time in the world"

@juneofdoom

[shin-tsukimi-enjoyer]

Why emotion route is a betrayal to Sou

Will keep this short and straight to the point. Also I will be calling shin “Sou” because that’s what a lot of people call him and to not cause confusion.

during the final vote you choose between Nao, Kanna, and Sou.

Kanna is supposedly the emotion choice and Sou is the logical. The reason why I disagree with this is because the game isn’t black and white. A lot of people in the fandom associate emotion route as the good path and logic route as the evil route when that is far from the truth. Saving Sou is not a logical choice and saving Kanna is not an emotional choice. In the end you are still letting someone weaker than you(Sara) die. One of them just happens to know about computers and even then Sou couldn’t do much.

Sara and Sou bond. They have a mutual understanding and want to work together. To say that Sara only saves Sou because he is useful is just plain wrong.

Even when you choose the option to say you are not sure if you can save Sou he still encourages Sara because he trusts her even when Sara shows weakness.

Also Sara can literally feel his heart lmao

then when you vote for Kanna in order to save a precious ally the game treats it as if Sara needed a tool to escape.

Earlier Sara was fighting for Sou’s trust. Was happened now? Was it a lie to use Sou? Sara is not a cruel person she means it when she calls Sou an ally.

then when you vote for Sou this happens

I don’t get why she says all this after gaining Sou’s trust.

then when Sou is dying he says this:

Sou concludes that if he believed in everyone he could’ve had a chance to continue living. In logic route Sou is still in time to trust everyone. In the CG of this image Sou is crying because he’s dying. Even when he protected Kanna, the person he cared about the most, he still wants to live. Because despite everything Sou is not ready to die and when you choose emotion route you take that away from him.

remember when Sou has a nightmare of Sara? That’s because he fears the strong. In the nightmare it’s implied that Sou dies because he is weak and that’s why Sara hates him. When you choose to save a Kanna that’s what exactly happens. Sara states she hates him and Sou dies a lonely death. Yeah he plays that Joe AI for Sara and we get a nice reunion but Sou is still being used here. Sou just becomes another pebble for Sara’s growth.

“thank you Joe……and Sou” those are Sara’s words after her reunion with Joe AI. The first she thanks is Joe, she pauses and then thanks Sou without even using his real name. And in chapter 3 he is barely awknoleged for his sacrifice. Even Kanna still uses his fake name.

Sou yeah thanks for reading <3

this isn’t me saying that emotion route is bad but I am saying that emotion route is just as a betrayal to Sou as the logic route. Neither route is “good” or “bad” in the end it’s just a matter of saving who YOU like. And I just happened to like shin (sou) more than the rest of the characters <3

[gemini-sensei]

I know this is a weird request but can you do poly demetri and robby with a plus size reader it can be nsfw or fluff

Poly!Robby Keene x Chubby!Reader x Demetri Alexopoulos

Fem!Reader ○ Fluff Headcanons

Not weird at all! I love this idea! 😍 (unedited)

This would start off as a little love triangle, but it's not that serious or even messy. Robby and Demetri respect that their crush could pick either of them and that's okay, they're not fighting for her attention. They also are very clueless to their feelings for each other.

When Reader says she's finally made a decision, they don't expect her to tell them that she can't choose between them. For her, it's either both of them or neither. They were both pretty okay with being her boyfriends, not seeing each other as any kind of competition because they're already friends. They don't expect to go into the relationship and become boyfriends, and that doesn't happen for at least a few months.

In the meantime, they're taking Reader out on dates, separately and together. They'll go to Golf n' Stuff to hangout together, but on his own Robby likes to take Reader on walks through the park or teach her/practice karate; alternatively, on his own, Demetri will take Reader to the comic shop or stay in to build Legos.

On outings or movie nights where they're all together, Robby and Demetri steadily get closer.

It's on a hot summer day that Demetri figures out he might have some feelings for Robby because he's training shirtless and Dem can't take his eyes off of him. If someone catches him, he waves it off as studying the techniques Robby is using.

They're hanging out one day, talking about their girlfriend and how amazing she is, when they figure out they like each other. They're trying to plan their next date with Reader and end up talking about places they think the other will like. It's a slow start and then a huge progression where Demetri is admitting his feelings for Robby, albeit awkwardly and a little embarrassed. He thinks Robby can't possibly like him back, but is surprised when Robby wants to kiss him. They end up making out instead of planning a date.

When they tell Reader that they are also into each other, she's all for it. Their relationship shifts but not by a lot. It was already heading in that direction, but now that it's all out in the open, the dynamic is fully embraced.

They have huge group cuddle sessions where Robby is actually in the middle more often than not. He needs doting attention and if Demetri isn't the most doting boyfriend ever, I don't know who is. Demetri shows his affection physically, verbally, and through acts of service, so a big cuddle pile is the best place for him to wrap all of that into one and give it to Robby.

Insatiable, touch starved babes who engage in long make out sessions. Robby and Demetri take turns kissing Reader or kissing each other when they have time alone. Reader sits on either of their laps to kiss or sits back to watch them kiss, occasionally swooping in to press kisses to their cheeks or the corners of their mouths. These don't usually end up in steamy times between the sheets, but rather is a deeply intimate moment between throuple.

Robby is intensely protective of this partners when out in public. He doesn't look it though. He keeps his arm around Reader's waist and holds Dem's hand with the other, they're having a blissfully good time. However, if anyone has anything to say to either of his partners, he's getting in the person's face and telling them to back off. He defends them with his whole chest and won't let anyone bad mouth them, whether it be for their relationship or any other reason.

Demetri loves pulling either Reader or Robby onto his lap. He's so tall and just loves holding them and resting his shin on their shoulders. Especially during make out sessions. Robby secretly loves it but doesn't say anything about it. Demetri and Reader know it, though. And when it comes to Reader on his lap, Dem likes to hold her thick thighs and soft waist. Oh god does he love it.

Robby and Demetri are both so awkward in giving Reader compliments when she shows off outfits and just about any time they're out and about; certainly at places like the beach.

I mean, look at this dork:

It gets better over time, but in the beginning, it's so bad but in a really cute way. However, for the most part, it's a lot of checking out her curves and telling her how pretty she is. They always make sure to tell her because she deserves to know how beautiful she is.

[gods-no-longer-tread-here]

here have a cute AU:

“Junpei, do you think I’m cute enough to be a sugarbaby?”

Junpei shot his best friend in the whole world an exasperated look. “No, but you’re stupid enough for it,” he said.

Yuji grinned hopefully from his position of sprawled upside-down on the concrete steps next to Junpei. “You think?” he asked brightly. “Maybe if I work out more I can be stupid and strong enough that some rich old lady will pay my bills!”

Junpei rolled his eyes and smacked Yuji’s shin. “Maybe, but you’d have to move somewhere with lots of rich old ladies, like Kyoto or Tokyo.”

“Oh, that’s true…” Yuji mused, and sighed regretfully. “Ah, well. I suppose the bakery doesn’t pay too badly.” Then he smiled again and said, “By the way, I forgot to ask about your mom. How’s she doing?”

“She’s fine. Worried about you, but fine.”

“Aw, she doesn’t have to worry, I’m alright. I miss her cooking, though.”

“I keep telling you, you can move in with us whenever you want.”

“But I own my house. Why don’t you two move in with me?”

“Because that’s weird. People will think you’re dating my mom.”

“I wouldn’t mind dating your mom. She’s nice.”

“I would mind!”

Yuji laughed and Junpei couldn’t help a smile. There had always been something so relaxing about spending time with Yuji. A complete lack of seriousness to anything. When they did have deep conversations, it was always comfortable, and Junpei left every one of them feeling relieved, and grateful that they’d moved to Sendai two years ago.

He’d been upset at first, about moving right in the middle of his first year of high school, but then he’d met Sasaki-chan and Iguchi-kun, and joined their Occult Phenomenon club because he didn’t feel like trying to start a film club. Then Yuji had joined them, and it was like everything had fallen into place. There was nothing and no one that could resist Itadori Yuji’s implacable kindness and good cheer, not even Junpei’s deeply-held cynicism. Within a month of becoming friends, Junpei’s mother had commented with approval that the move seemed to have agreed with him; and he hadn’t been able to contradict her.

Then, three months into the school year, Yuji’s grandfather had died.

“Would your grandpa have an opinion on you getting a sugarmama?” Junpei asked, putting his chin in his hand.

Yuji snorted. “Of course he would, and he’d say it’s a bad idea. But I’m not exactly helping people by just baking bread and selling it at unfair prices. I’d rather at least be earning lots of money so I can donate to people in need, or have the time to volunteer at shelters and with organizations that help.”

“Mm,” Junpei said, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. They’d already had many conversations about Yuji’s grandfather’s dying wish. There was no point rehashing it now. “Would being a sugarbaby be worth it to you? You’d have to be attentive and flattering to someone who might be truly heinous.”

“That’s true. Can I smile and compliment someone for pay if I know my livelihood depends on the suffering of others?” Yuji sighed again and swiveled on the concrete steps before scooting up them on his behind to sit next to Junpei and lean against his shoulder. “Man, I’m glad I asked you about this, Junpei. You’re a lot smarter than me.”

“Nah, you’re plenty smart,” Junpei assured him, blushing faintly. His stomach felt funny, almost ticklish, with how close Yuji was, but he didn’t really want his friend to pull away. “You’re just too focused on the goal to see the sewers you have to slog through to get there.”

Yuji laughed and leaned his head on Junpei’s for a moment. “And you’re too focused on the shit to see that the goal is only a few meters away, and you’ve already got waders on. Okay, I won’t do it. I’ll stick with the bakery.”

Junpei wanted to ask if he could kiss Yuji, but that felt too weird. So he just smiled, and offered dinner with him and his mother. Yuji accepted with a grin, and the two teens got up to hop on their bikes and race each other to the Yoshino home.

[shadowredfeline]

Two in One Post

For my Filipino Friend's On this Day Post

I played Excitebike too. I have played the NES Version a lot. I also played the Nintendo 64 one too, but it was tricky to get used to the controls and the gameplay. And this can be just like when Rita was also competing in the Motocross tournament while she was pregnant. Either before or after.

Debby 😺📱🖥️: Do your Best Rita! I know you're the greatest Cross Driver ever. And maybe Windy and I can watch you compete just like how we watch our sons compete in the racing games too.

And for a Response to both my A-Pal and my Filipino Friend

Yeah maybe if there's another Nintendo Direct, I bet we can both voice chat together if we want to. Because when I watched Nintendo Direct a few days ago, I couldn't tell if I would watch it alone, or watch it with some YouTubers or watch it by voice chatting with friends. And also I understand how you feel when Rare was just a subsidiary by Microsoft, it's a bit like how Atlus and Rovio are both subsidiaries to Sega. Because even with so many companies selling franchises to their companies, like Angry Birds, Etrian Odyssey and Shin Megami Tensei Persona, and when we find out who owns it, sure enough, they call around saying that Sega owns them. Much like with Bayonetta, it used to be made by Sega, they call around saying Nintendo owns it even though Platinum Games is the ones that own the series despite Nintendo publishing the game. So Bayonetta was counted as a Somewhat known Title, which is what Nintendo makes besides games based on their properties like Mario, Animal Crossing and Zelda. And back to Rare, what's also bizarre is that not only Microsoft had Rare as the developers, but I just heard that they made Sea of Thieves on a different system like the PlayStation 5. And when I just watched the Direct, I heard Horizons, a PlayStation title is gonna be on the Switch, but in Lego style. It was kinda confusing that so many of their titles owned by their own companies are now being shown on all the different systems. Because with Xbox Titles, they're usually only for both Xbox and PC, and I also heard when for classic Nintendo 64 titles, I know they just put in some M Rated titles like Perfect Dark and Turok, and what's confusing is why not buy the remastered version of Turok on the eShop? I talked about it with Deev on Discord voice chat last night and he said it was a stupid idea. Because we can just buy the remastered version because it was better and we can also buy their sequels too. Even when we can get Turok on different systems like PlayStation, Xbox or PC. And it would be confusing if they brought more M Rated Titles to Nintendo 64 like Conker's Bad Fur Day, Resident Evil 2, and Mortal Kombat 4. And ever since I got the Rare Replays for our A-Pal for his birthday, I know he's trying some of the Rareware titles when I last check on what he's up to.

Speedy 😺👟: We sure are, Mrs. Windy! And normally Grandpa wanted to try it, but he wanted to stick with being a PC player and rarely play a console.

Paul 😺⚔️⚒️: Well it's something. Sorry Guys, but I hope I'll try playing the consoles if I get the chance. Normally I've only played the original Metroid Prime and Metroid Prime 2 Echoes, and i haven't played 3 Corruptions and neither has Shadow. Plus I know the Multiplayer of Metroid Prime 2 Echoes is good since Shadow, Speedy and I played it together as well as for Caleb.

Speedy 😺👟: Yeah the Multiplayer is really fun. I sure played it a lot with Dad and Uncle Caleb. And maybe we should try it out together too, Mrs. Windy.

[roundtriptojupiter]

i just sprinted across campus to escape the rain, and now i want to talk about my experiences as a cane user while i remember how to breathe again.

i started using a cane 4 years ago, at the end of elementary school. i’ve been chronically disabled (likely fibromyalgia, but currently diagnosed with myofascial pain syndrome; it’s an inaccurate diagnosis, but at least it’s something) my entire life—i struggled to sit cross-legged in kindergarten because it hurt too much, and the first accommodation i ever needed was permission to sit in a normal chair during circle time. i was born early, and both of my parents had issues with their legs in their lives; my father as a child learning to walk, and my mother in her teens, until she got knee surgery when she was 19, but neither were the same as what i have.

i’ve always been an indoor person. i’ve never enjoyed sports, but to this day i don’t know if that’s because i genuinely don’t like them, or because i always end up hurt. so my parents always thought i was just lazy and exaggerating and needed to get in shape. the third one always makes me laugh. when i look at myself in the mirror, i can count all of my ribs. i inherited it from my dad; his nickname was ‘rice’ in high school because he was white and skinny. maybe i’ll grow out of it, i don’t know. people tell me i look sick, and it kind of sucks to tell them that they’re right.

the old pastor at the church i grew up in was a professional volleyball player. there was an inter-church volleyball tournament held every year, and monthly volleyball games within the congregation. when i was in elementary school, i loved it. i loved volleyball more than any other sport i’d ever played; for the most part, i didn’t have to run anywhere, and that was what made the difference. and players were swapped around a lot, so i got a lot of breaks, and it seemed like... maybe i had just been lazy. maybe this was my lucky break.

and my parents signed me up for volleyball camp. i don’t remember how old i was—maybe twelve, thirteen? i could do the math, but my brain is too exhausted. it was only a week long. we did drills, we played games; every day i went back to my parents sobbing and exhausted, with burning red marks on my arms, barely able to stand and far worse than any other child there, even the other ‘lazy’ ones. that was the moment everyone in my life finally realized that something was wrong.

thus started a long, frustrating process and the wonders of the canadian healthcare system.

people love to compliment canada’s healthcare. they love to compare it to usamerica’s, they love to stand on their soapbox and say how great it is— i can always tell whether those people are disabled or not. because, yes. there are a lot of pros. but anybody who preaches that it’s wonderful and flawless will get my cane to their shins. because the reality is, the wait lists span years, and even when you live five minutes away from one of the best youth hospitals in the country, maybe even north america, sometimes they’ll put you through hell for three years straight, then give you the wrong diagnosis, throw an attempt at fixing you at the wall that doesn’t work, and then expect you to move on with your life.

i only have two vivid memories of that three-year process while i was still in elementary school: the beginning, and the end. my first major specialist appointment was with a neurologist. he stuck pins in my leg and arm and sent electric shocks through them to evaluate muscle responses. it was one of the worst pains i’ve ever felt. to this day, i can’t sustain a static shock without my leg buckling or my hand seizing up. my mom held my hand, and i was screaming; i still cry when i think about it. the test came back with nothing.

the end was when i finally saw a physiotherapist. at the time, it felt like a miracle; he spoke to me for what seemed like only ten, fifteen minutes, and gave me a diagnosis and a physiotherapy plan. that was in 2021. the physiotherapy turned out to be hell; i only lasted a few months, even doing the most basic of exercises, and my parents grew sour at the idea of driving me to the other end of the city on a regular basis. so that all shattered into nothingness.

but that’s all just an aside: the real point is, the first time i used a cane was on a school trip to a large city, at the end of elementary school. it was going to involve a lot of walking; something i knew by that point would be difficult. and so my mother gave me a gift. an old, simple, dark red, wooden cane. the same one she’d used in her teen years before her surgery, and kept just in case. i genuinely don’t know if it’s good or not; i don’t know if i could afford a better one. i’m still using it. i think buying a new one would make the reality too real—that i will not get a magic fix, like my mother did.

on that trip, my very first time using a cane, with my grade eight class, was the also the first time that anybody made fun of it. while walking through the city in small groups, another boy in my class called me a grandma from across the street. i ran after him and hit him (not hard) with it, and he kept his mouth shut for the rest of the trip.

when i started grade nine, my high school was a twenty-to-thirty minute walk from my house. (another aside, shorter this time: after almost every other form of exercise was slowly nixed out of my life, walking became my everything. it still kills, but it’s better than anything else.) and it was too much. by the time i reached school every day, i was unable to stand for the national anthem. that was when the cane became a regular part of my life; i took it with me every day for support while i walked, and even when i didn’t need it, it made my disability somewhat more visible. the respectful people saw it and realized that there was something wrong with me. the assholes saw it and were assholes.

here’s another thing about me: i used to have a cousin. i have a lot of cousins, actually, but the one in question was almost my twin. we were born in the same week, and shared a birthday every year growing up, and looked nearly identical—when our hair was the same length, that is. he and i were complete opposites in most other respects; i was a quiet, well-behaved (read: neurodivergent) kid, and he was a loud, trouble-making (read: neurodivergent) kid. but we got along. and we went to the same high school, and it always stunned people to find out that we were cousins.

in grade nine one of my cousin’s friends made fun of my cane, in front of him and me. my cousin shoved his own friend against a locker and threatened him because of it. i wasn’t made fun of for my cane at that school for the rest of my time there (unless you count the things that people say when they don’t mean to be mean, but have also never witnessed someone my age with a cane before. i don’t, but they still hurt.)

my cousin’s gone now. he overdosed on xanax and killed himself in october. it’s my fondest memory of him, when he turned on his own friend to defend me. i didn’t see him for two years before he passed because of covid quarantines and precautions. i genuinely don’t remember the last time i did see him.

and here’s one last thing: people think that growing up disabled with a parent that had suffered similarly would make things easier. but it was the opposite. because my mother wasn’t chronically disabled. she had horrible knee problems that were fixed after years of physiotherapy and a major operation. she was also labeled as gifted and diagnosed with something i forget the name of, which means that it takes more effort for her to perform tasks than it does for other people. and all that has done is this:

a more recent story. i’m currently spending a month living in québec on a university campus. initially, i was slotted to be staying in an off-campus apartment; they moved me to a residence building before i arrived because they knew of my disability. my room is on the fourth floor. there is no elevator. i wonder every day if my would-have-been apartment would have had less stairs.

my mother drove me there. when we arrived, she carried my suitcase up the stairs for me, because i was incapable of doing so myself. and when i complained, mostly lightheartedly—“oh, doing these stairs is going to suck all month”—she turned on me and told me that when she had been just a little bit older than me, she’d done a program in québec and lived on the third floor with no elevator, and she’d just had major knee surgery. and she’d been fine.

it was nothing for her. i still remember her exact words, four weeks later. i don’t know if she’ll ever truly take me seriously, because to her, she was disabled too, and she got through it. i’ve yet to find a way to convince her that it’s different. that not everything has a magic cure if you just work through it.

i’m eighteen now. she was nineteen when she had knee surgery. maybe when i turn nineteen, i’ll finally get a new cane. it’ll be symbolic, of something. i don’t know what. hopefully i’ll figure it out.

[medtech-mara]

So, your other ocs. Are they involved in the campaign at all, or do they exist separately? Followup: Do any of them interact with each other in any capacity? Friends, coworkers, passing acquaintances, etc etc

Music | CharacterKey | Random

Short answer: Yes. I think what makes this campaign standout so much, at least mostly to me, with 18 years of roleplaying experience…Is how alive our Night City feels. These aren’t just some random newcomers, these are people born in Night city, they had lives before being mercs and it really shows throughout the campaign, where members are trying to hide what they are doing from those they love the most. One players family, friends, even ex-lovers have made huge marks on other players characters lives.  Long answer: YES. MY GOD THIS IS WHAT I LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THIS CAMPAIGN. Mara/the Adams & the Desert Foxes/ Atredies are probably my crown jewels of life brought life into the city.  It started with me just loving how complex Mara’s life was juggling being a Medtech for a Clinic she Co-owns with her Childhood bestfriend/ love of her life that neither have found the words to say to each other yet & trying to hide her Merc life because Jack & Jayce wouldn't approve of it. Something about Jayce wanting to hide the fact he was working for Maxtac from Mara until he couldn’t any longer, Mara then having to go through great lengths to make moves around Maxtac district lockdowns to not be seen or caught by her brother. Having to come up with a good enough lie until I just started running out of them for Mara to tell Jack as to why she was leaving work early, or needed time off for a Gig.  Then, after meeting Jago’s mainline Chae-Rin after his passing, she became apart of Mara’s life some weeks after when she had to be rescued by Mara, and chose to never leave becoming her roommate. There was even a sibling like relationship between the two when Chae-Rin would retaliate against J I H Z Z Y using her Matcha bodysoap by sabotaging Mara’s expensive tech hair shampoo.  2023 had caused a massed homelessness that was solved by the city by using shipping containers and making them into districts around the city. A bulk of them reside in Santo domingo between the outskirts and the Sunset motel, so when rockerboy and new Night Raid member J I H Z Z Y and Mara started their notso Secret relationship, she spent a lot of time out there, and had come to learn and love the tight-knit community that is CD-82 and its residents that have helped raise J I H Z Z Y up from nothing.  These are just a couple examples. I know I refer to Mara a lot and/or jihzzy a lot, but its due to me being able to talk about them a little more liberally than I can with any of complex relationship tree we have going that shine MOST in the AU due to being able to create a little more freely there. It’s INSANE OVER THERE and I love it, I can’t wait to start the new one to further build our version of Night city. This story has all the dynamics, you name it. Even healthy family ones. *Points to the Shins*

okay, so this took me longer than it should have, again im so sorry. Lol. Anyway, I could go on more, but i gotta know who interests you the most, even if they aren't my character, I got the biography of my campaign mates, they always love indulging in some blorbolory (trademark pending?) I know I still don't have it all together yet, still slowly working my way thru it. I got a PH.D on this subject, I know it better than the writer for the campaign.

[chibivesicle]

Trigun Stampede - Episode 11 - July not go boom just yet

Another Saturday is upon us and episode 11 of Trigun Stampede dropped this morning.  I may have procrastinated a bit on watching it since I’d been binging Psycho-Pass season 1 and was more interested in how that show was gonna end before watching another episode of Stampede (Thanks Merdo for that suggestion).  It definitely reminded me that a lot of series have issues with world building, but I was more critical of Psycho-Pass not having the discussion of Hobbes or Locke among their philosophical debates than some late world building that would have been stronger if they’d not kept so many clues subtle but that would be a whole ‘nother meta and I’m not looking to add Psycho-Pass to my current backlog. I have two asks I’m still sitting on, I’ve decided I’ll write them after Stampede wraps so if you’d be patient to wait a few more weeks, I’d greatly appreciate that. Episode 11 doesn’t have a cold open and instead starts with the OP.  Our action returns to Meryl and her Derringer with a whopping two bullets to fire.   She is quickly able to find Wolfwood strolling through the hall and she called out to him addressing him as just ‘undertaker’.  She asks him where Vash is.

Of course, having completed his likely useless contract, he replies that isn’t his business anymore.  Their interaction is one of her trying to get an answer from him and he just avoids it by joking around.  Meryl kicks him in the shin and we get an oddly placed comedic moment from him before they go their separate ways.  Well, this was not what I had wanted to see happen.  Meryl knows she has little fighting power and she needed to recruit Wolfwood to come with her. The only remaining option is that she will have guilted him enough that he’ll feel like he has to come back and help.  Wolfwood looks at his empty pack of smokes and the action turns to Vash in the giant vat/tank.

Vash tries to struggle as Knives gracefully swims before him.  He uses his knives to hold Vash into place and complete a sort of connection with him.  We can see lots of blue plants in the tank as well in their closed form.  Conrad watches from a control room as he’s monitoring the progress of the connection between the two brothers.

At this point, the mechanics of what is happening are pretty far off of the manga if someone is looking for this to be cannon compliant.  In the manga, Knives had realized he could fuse with other plants and he at one point in time did attempt to fuse with Vash but failed since Vash wasn’t too keen on that option.

One of the key points of Knives plan to fuse with the other plants was to continue to keep his identity separate from them so that he could enact his own will while the rest of the plants were unable to exercise their own choices.

It appears that Stampede is taking this in a very different direction.  Meryl is able to find the location where Conrad is.  I’m sarcastically going to note that they must have very well labeled signage.  She clearly followed the signs that said, ‘crazy science control room’ this way.  She tries to threaten Conrad but can neither shoot him nor can she shoot through the tank.  Conrad is clear to note it bulletproof, but I’m certain it likely can’t withstand Wolfwood’s upgraded laser beam potential.

We get info dumping about the plants from Conrad.  The body of the plants are only a fraction of their true form and that they are linked to another dimension.

This is very briefly mentioned in ‘98 as the beings beyond our outside of time and also discussed in the manga.   However, in this case they are really focusing on Vash’s ability to make a gate between the two locations.  Hence the previous comments about sacrificing one of the twins, likely was about Vash being able to be used as a portal.

Conrad than explains that the difference between plants and independents like Vash and Knives is that the brothers have souls while plants do not.  Honestly, based on what I read from the manga, I never interpreted that plants to be soulless more that they were contained by their basic plant nature/biology.  We saw from the plant point of view and the fact that Vash knew each and every plant personally, implied that they were individuals but trapped in their role.  That’s how Knives lost, the plants stopped supporting him and it gave Vash the chance to take him on even footing.

Anyhoo, in this version, Conrad wants to find the core of the plants so that they can have souls and become all independent.  We know that would be a problem since humanity would die on the planet without regular plants.

The rest of the episode will flip back and forth between what Meryl sees on the outside and what Vash sees on the inside of his mind while Knives tries to make sure he’s most useful to open that gate to that core.

Thus, this becomes another both flashback and conversation between Vash and Knives through Vash’s memories.  It starts with the recent flashback where Knives said he would make sure they’d free their brethren.  Yet, Vash tries to state that humans abuse plants because they crashed on the planet and it was their fault this entire situation exists.  Of course when you are villain like Knives, that’s beside the point.

Meryl argues with Conrad that plant independence is the only answer since humanity is slowly killing itself on the planet anyways.  So his plan is to use Vash’s gate to allow all the plants to come into awareness and become independent dooming the planet to death.

Wolfwood then wanders off to find Roberto’s body to take his pack of cigarettes.  He really needed a smoke.  He takes a drag off the cigarette after thanking Roberto and thinks to himself that “Gotta make a choice, huh.” meaning he’s thinking about doing something.

It may have taken him seven months in the manga, but Wolfwood was able to rescue Vash from Knives on his giant ark of havoc.  It is clear that Wolfwood is going to do something to rescue Vash since he’s mulling it over.  Since his showdown with Livio is incomplete, I guess he won’t die in the next episode either.  Unless Livio happens to pop up, but I don’t think we have time for that.

The action then returns to Vash’s mind as Knives tries to synchronize himself with him.  Vash runs into the children he was unable to save as Rosa’s voice tells him to leave this town.  This is pretty typical hero mental gaslighting.  Knives appears becoming Wolfwood and shoots Rollo/Monev the Gale who becomes geranium flowers.

Knives steps forward to tell him he’s no hero, he’s a coward who can see people die.  Only then does Vash even realize he’s in a sort of dream state since his hand is normal.  He then determines that he needs to find the exit and runs which makes sense for him.  However, no matter where he runs, Nai is able to find him and when he’s at the crash memory a young Nai tells him to just forget about Meryl and Roberto.

Meryl and Roberto become flowers as well and Vash can’t recall who they are.  Knives pushes Vash’s loss as everything begins to turn into flowers in his distorted memories.

At the same time in the real world, branches continue to grow out from Vash and start to spread outside of the tank.  Knives assures Conrad it is okay as Meryl panics.  We see Vash in a desert sandstorm struggling when he is able to catch a single red petal in his hand as child Nai declares that Vash should unleash his powers and they can remake the world. 

With that Vash is able to change the landscape to the garden of his past and Nai stands across from him.  When we return to it, Vash is now looking at Rem under a tree with flowers all around and petals in the air.  This is very much like the dreams that Vash had in the ‘98 anime when he’d have discussions with Rem.

Petals block our view of Vash looking at her in shock before he becomes a child and runs to her to embrace her.  Meanwhile,  Nai also in child form refers to her as ‘that woman’. 

The syncing is stalled at ~90% and Conrad is there to info dump and tell us that the question of whether it is a love of humanity or love for a younger brother will determine the fate of the planet.  Though, Knives form of love is quite twisted from the start.

There is the map for the break and then it returns to the July MPs at a noodle stand on the night shift since the Humanoid Typhoon is on the loose.  Not like they are working all that hard after the one guy shot Vash and they didn’t bother to chase them?  I think the only point of this was so that people can say that Vash is in July before we get the zoom out to see that Vash’s tree branches are growing all over the place.  The somewhat restrained neon lights of the city and again the fairly empty streets seem a bit odd.

This must be the set up for a future time skip.  The July MPs say that they are on patrol for Vash.  Therefore, when the city is destroyed the rumors will link that fact with Vash and not anyone else. This then returns to Meryl yelling at Vash to wake up while avoiding his growing roots in vain.  I give you some credit for trying but this is beyond your control Meryl.  Not quite sure how much this is serving the plot.

We return to Vash’s memory of his time with Rem and Nai as they discuss her favorite flower.  They have their typical bickering and it is clear that Rem wants to protect them and is trying to instill certain behaviors in them so that when the rest of the people wake up, they will appear to be human.  Interestingly, she already knows about Nai’s abilities while Vash is very human. This goes back to the party where Nai sulks that he doesn’t need to eat anything.

This scene allows for us to see that Rem told them that she loves them and cares about them.  Vash is able to freeze that moment and ask Knives if he did not feel that love, but instead we get a foreboding looking door for him to enter.  Which, he does have to step through.

This is going to be our Tessla flashback scene as indicated by the flower placed there by Rem.

This setup is a symptomatic of Studio Orange’s approach to Stampede.  They got it close but missed the mark - or in this case - the meaning.  This version sticks with the red germanium.  This flower was chosen by Rem because it symbolizes strength and determination.  It was how she motivated herself to become involved in Project Seeds and keep her own goals.  Vash adopted that as well into his determination to not kill.

In the manga, the flower that she leaves for Tessla is not her own favorite flower but one reflecting the loss of an innocent life.  She chose to use a [white] lily instead which is linked to rebirth and purity.  Both of these are valid to apply to Tessla, she was a pure virgin birthed being and deserved a better fate than to be a simple test subject, tortured to death.  The manga shows that there was no respect shown for Tessla when she was alive or in death besides Rem’s lily for her.

If Studio Orange weren’t so intent on making their own mark on Trigun, they would have just copied the original here, and it would have kept the original meaning. 

Yet, now by shifting the flower symbolism it does not make sense since they didn’t stop to understand the meaning.  Especially when Yasuhiro Nightow clearly uses flowers symbolically in his works.  Or the studio takes his use of flowers and then expands upon it.  Studio Bones took the red geraniums from Trigun and made sure they were in Blood Blockade Battlefront for both Klaus and Leo; two characters who are driven by determination and overcome obstacles.  They even took it further in the episode ‘Day In Day Out’ adding in additional flower symbolism for Steven that wasn’t in the original manga.  Ellen shows up to his dinner party with a bouquet of yellow lilies which are a common thank you gift and are supposed to be happy.  However, as his entire group of ‘normal’ friends were all there to betray him, the anime altered the scene where he leaves the frozen people to be dealt with in his living room.  The manga has him burying his face in his hand as he slouches forward while in the anime they chose to have him take a single yellow lily from the vase and he hands it to the nameless subordinate.

Additionally, the entire confrontation scene shows the vase full of yellow lilies from every angle demonstrating that these lilies are the negative meaning of their color - that they represent falsehood and the entire group of friends were lying to him from the start. 

But, I’ve settled on my opinion that Studio Orange doesn’t want to do their homework on things like these.  If Rem’s favorite flower is her favorite flower, well, it applies in all situations.

Like in the manga, Nai and Vash are able to hack into the database and reveal all of the information of Tessla.  In this case now, her dissected body is - still alive?  So, that is how he was able to absorb her eyeball.

The twins scream in horror as Rem comes to comfort them.  We don’t have time to show Vash’s arc where he tries to commit suicide and ends up injuring Rem severely before snapping back to it and saves her.  Instead, it switches to another conversation between young Vash and Nai where Nai is reading the Bible.  This is where they decided to get his whole sinner language in Stampede from.  In contrast in the manga, Knives formed his opinion through a study of human history and how it is stuck in a cycle of violence and not learning from our mistakes.

The flashback ends with Knives telling Vash that all of this is to protect him from humans.

This then leads to Vash stating that everything is his fault b/c this is why Knives crashed the ships.  It was all for him, his current adult form says.  And with the gaslighting complete, Vash’s mind breaks from his safe space.

The Vash tree is expanding out all over the place, Meryl is trapped under a branch or root while the city attempts to shoot it. 

Knives keeps pushing Vash as he tries to hold onto his memory of Rem.  Of course Knives is going to blame Rem for everything!  She’s the reason things didn’t work out they way the should have.  That meddling woman!

Stampede continues to make female characters weak and one dimensional and we still haven’t gotten her philosophy why you can’t take another life.  More that Vash’s mother obsession which was much more prominent in the anime and manga is finally dropped in here and of course falls flat.  Being cliche, it is Knives who cuts off Rem’s head which breaks him completely.  His memories are lost and he turns black/dark brown.

Knives rejoices in his success!  He’s finally gotten his brother back from the evil clutches of women who are decent motherly figures.  Wow.  Good job Knives.  The portal then opens behind Vash to the next dimension as dark purple flowers bloom all over Vash’s branches as the plant takes over the entire city of July.

We also see the plants open their own sepals (I mean they aren’t actually sepals but best term I can think at the moment) and they are all plugged into Vash via their belly buttons and they also look pregnant?  Did Knives just have Vash impregnate all of the plants?  Whaattt?

Or is he going to give them a soul through a sort of umbilical cord and birth out independent plants from the regular plants?

And with Knives reading of the Bible he’s referencing Armageddon for humanity and the end of the human world.  Glad to see Knives would have been a keener at Sunday School.

Knives enters the other dimension to touch its core (you dirty bastard) and the giant plant becomes a giant humanoid plant form that at the end of the episode looks like it is going to stand up and walk away to continue his destruction of humanity.  And the episode ends!

Quick thoughts on this episode

1.) The weird pacing continues and I’m not a fan of how frequently they go back and forth.  I get that they want to give us a sense of urgency but it feels like the conversations are almost too disjointed and it would be better to let them have some space.  It would have been better to have the entire sequence of Vash and Knives at most, interrupted once by what was going on between Meryl and Conrad.  If you could even call it an interaction, it was more Conrad info dumping and Meryl being distressed and unable to do anything.

2.) Breaking Vash’s mind is remarkably easy.  Compared to the anime or manga, Vash is mentally a lot stronger than the Stampede version.  Again, this is for the sake of time and not good storytelling or narrative structure.  He was like a lamb led in for the slaughter based on his behaviors so we aren’t surprised.  More that he’s been gaslight by Knives when they were together and still falls victim to it.  Knives notes how he has to be cute and pet like to survive with humans, but we have rarely seen any silly behavior from him since he’s just been a sad boi, passively falling into Knives path set out for him.  All in all it is hard to see the mental strength and tenacity in Vash at this point in time.  Certainly, Luida and Brad say it and tell it to Wolfwood but we don’t get to see him act on it.

3.) Knives has made a giant Ent from Vash opening the portal and connecting with the blue plants.  Is this thing going to walk to the next city to destroy it?  I take it the control room where Conrad and Meryl are as well as whatever hallway Wolfwood are in are still a part of the main body.  What on earth is going to happen with all those red plants?  There is only one episode left and it feels like it too will be rushed and end on a cliffhanger.

4.) Stampede checks the bare minimum of “I read the manga” boxes at the surface level but not beyond that.  Characters and names are dropped along with technology but everything is trapped in the sci fi demo mode.  I guess this episode is supposed to match the scene when Knives tries to absorb Vash into him and fails in the manga . . . but Knives seems so much more powerful.  Previous examples of times when Knives forced Vash into using his angel arm only removed his memory from that time but he didn’t lose anything else.  Now, it seems like Knives just went in and blocked all those memories.  The power imbalance was always a part of the manga with Vash settling on being a gunslinger but this is just so much more.  Vash never stood a chance in this version.

Characters:

1.) Vash is trapped and we still don’t get how he learned his moral backing from Rem yet.  He’s even black and almost frozen like the plants that Knives has as statues.

2.) Knives is very successful and is gonna go touch that core.  I’m going to guess the core bites back at him?  Or the core only wants to be touched by someone like Vash with a pure morality?

3.) Meryl was useless.  She’s trapped under a branch and could only try to cry out at Vash.  Hopefully her run in with Wolfwood will spur him to action since there is no Milly or Vash to make him more engaged.

4.) Conrad will die reaching his mad scientist goals.  Since Knives prevented him from dying as opposed to killing him.

5.) Wolfwood might be feeling conflicted.  With Knives in the other dimension, I’m not sure how he can do much of anything unless he laser cuts the giant tank and everything spills out?  I was surprised he didn’t make a move in this episode as well.

All in all this is too compressed together and no build up or delivery.  Just lots of action all the time and never enough for the story to breathe.  I don’t have much else to say, but I’m not surprised at this point.  Episode twelve has a lot to cover or cram in, but the paradoxical pacing will happen again.