#shes never seen an episode of young sheldon in her life

[st-twitter-sillies]

bazinga!

[idkiwasntsupposedtobebackhere]

what i would do if i was a gilmore girls writer:

april storyline:

i feel like instead of the april storyline liz could have given birth a bit earlier and and luke and lorelai would have to step in to help raise doula a lot. first of all we’d get to see them with a baby, which is cute. but there’s also a lot of room for conflict in deciding how to handle the situation. aka conflict that makes for good TV (”should we even have kids together if we can’t even do this?”, ”we have to make these decisions together, we’re getting married!” etc.) but isn’t life altering enough to ruin the couple. it also draws parallells to the jess storyline (which was a huge part of the earlier seasons), luke’s established family issues and his earlier disagreements with lorelai which makes luke’s character arc and the show as a whole more cohesive and satisfying. i could see this drama lasting for all of season 6. in the end because these characters have grown, they would actually figure it out somehow. and then they’d have season 7 to settle down and be happy. i actually do love april but they could have made her a young sheldon type of guest character at yale and paris could have developed a soft spot for her or something.

literati in season 3:

so i feel like they wanted to show us that this is rory’s bad boy phase. they made their relationship about dean a lot and most of the episodes centered around them were like ooooh jess did this sucky thing and dean never would have. and i get that maybe they needed to try something new and didn’t want to just recreate the boyfriend storyline with a new guy (aka see how he fits into her grandparents world, saying i love you for the first time etc). they already did the good stuff with dean so they decided to make this rory’s bad decision and only came up conflict to show us. but they didn’t even fully commit bc rory didn’t change with jess the way she did with logan. that was her bad boy phase, literati was always supposed to be something more. so instead of showing how bad of a couple this was compared to dean/rory, they could have drawn different parallels. because dean/rory was not a perfect relationship and they could have shown how in some ways why this is better for rory. what does she want? not her grandparents and not her mom. after all the buildup literati was the audience’s favorite and most anticipated couple, so i really think painting it as an unexpected but positive change of direction in rory’s journey would have been worthwhile.

like show us how when they go on dates they want to do the same things (as opposed to donna reed or rory just watching dean’s games). show us how they both want their alone time and them not calling each other every day because rory wants to study and jess has to work can be an OK thing (as opposed to the infamous 14 calls a day). show us how jess maybe doesn’t fit into lorelai and rory’s flow as well as dean did BUT how that’s also ok because rory is getting older and going off to college so this makes sense. but then also show us some god damn character development and lorelai and jess actually learning to get along (pls make that an entire episode’s storyline actually. have them be funny together and make it emotional). and show us nice scenes with luke, lorelai, rory and jess. where was all of this when they were dating??? nowhere to be seen. although i would have liked for luke not to kick jess out (i will make another post of how i would handle jess and luke’s relationship in season 3) i know it had to happen because milo had to leave. and i wouldn’t change major plot points like that because i like jess’ arc too much. but if they had shown everything i wrote here, literati’s realtionship would have canonically been stronger and jess would have at least told rory about not graduating and his dad showing up and why he felt like he had to go before he went.

dean cheating on lindsay with rory:

actually i would have had lindsay push him in the lake luke pushed jess in but oops plot twist, dean can’t swim

[bellarosestudyblr]

How do you feel about a neurotypical person playing the role of Spencer Reid though? Personally I do like Matthew Gray Gubler in that role but I think he was hired for his appearance rather than for something else. I would have liked to see a real autistic person in that role.

Spencer Reid isn’t canonically autistic, though. The character was pitched as a 40-something male, intelligent, a ‘walking dictionary’ akin to Data from Star Trek (referenced by the original SAGAFTRA casting call, and Gubler himself). The character may have been altered or defined to better suit the actor selected, to create a more dynamic ensemble, to fulfil CBS’ terms as the pilot moved to series, or as a natural progression as the character grew over 15 years. But it is clear no autistic role was ever in development. Even when we consider what ‘Spencer Reid’ the character would become as the series progressed, the casting call that was released did not specify he was/could have ASD. For that reason the actor who auditioned is not at fault here. Furthermore, Intelligence and social awkwardness are not always an indicator of ASD, and I would argue they are not in Spencer Reid. Here’s why.

Disclaimer: the essay that follows contains my own views and opinions on Spencer Reid, in reference to a possible ASD diagnosis. This is what anon asked for — my thoughts, as someone with ASD. Opinions are supported by examples from the source material. Some members of the fandom may see things a different way, or disagree with what I am arguing, but I am no longer replying to messages or comments related to this. Accept we have a different viewpoint and move on, thank you.

Many of Spencer Reid’s perceived ‘stereotypical’ autistic traits — intelligence, inability to regulate emotions, awkwardness, isolation/pariahdom — could be a result of his childhood and past experiences. The small glimpses we have seen into Spencer’s life prior to 2005 may provide some insight.

Canonically, Spencer had no suitable parental figure from age 10. After his father left, he was alone with a mentally ill mother. In 12x11, we see Diana physically assault Spencer when she becomes enrages. When he lies and tells her the marks are a result of him bumping into something, her comments about him being such a clumsy child she called him ‘crash’ may indicate the abuse was longstanding and repeatedly covered up by Spencer in the same manner. Perhaps in fear he would lose a second parent. Although Diana’s abuse may not have always been physical, from 2x16 we understand her illness made it hard for her to get our of bed, and remember what day of the week it was. We can therefore infer she was incapable of ensuring Spencer was well taken care of. Cooking, cleaning, caring for him when he was sick, or dealing with his school bullies would have been out of the question.

By 3x16, it is clear Spencer’s young life was defined by abuse. Whether that be wilful neglect from his father, as a result of his mother’s illness, or at the hand of his peer group. The incident involving the goal post Spencer speaks about in this episode, and the similar experience from 8x12, are both examples of sexual abuse. There is no acceptable argument against this. We can infer that if the teenagers that assaulted Spencer did this without apparent consequence, the rest of Spencer’s high school life must have been a nightmare. The trauma and isolation Spencer experienced during this period could most definitely have resulted in an inability to connect with others. Friendships and romantic relationships are based on trust and vulnerability, Spencer has learned not to give anyone that power over him. As Spencer himself said in 1x10 “I confided in you. This is exactly what happens when I trust someone, it gets thrown back in my face.”

Another trait Spencer is said to exhibits that many use as confirmation of his ASD, is his apparent inability to pick up on social and behavioural cues. I would argue this is false. Spencer is a profiler. He has been seen outwitting and outsmarting many unsubs by picking up on things like vocal changes, eye contact and mannerisms, anticipating a reaction and using it to his advantage. He was able to detect JJ was pregnant far before anyone else, and that Emily picked her nails when stressed. Not knowing what Twilight is, or about the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song, is not representative of missing social cues. Spencer is known to not read “much in English”, to not have email, to have no friends outside of work to talk about pop-culture with, and to be a technophobe. It may also be argued that Spencer’s ability to connect with the unsub or how well he profiles their behaviour, varies depending on who is writing the episode and what story they want to tell that week. Similarly, in 6x20, Spencer reveals during childhood therapy sessions, he was able to read the situation and respond accordingly in away that satisfied the adult professional. This is not typical for an autistic child. Again, this is based on a stereotype, but so is the fandoms understanding of Spencer and his apparent ASD to begin with.

TLDR: So, in conclusion I wouldn’t say the casting is problematic at all. The character has never been canonically autistic and any perceived ‘autistic traits’ the fandom sees, have been indicated long after the series had commenced. As someone with ASD, I would be wary to label Spencer Reid ‘autistic’ based on how well he fits the ‘Sheldon Cooper’ stereotype, when his behaviour and personality can be seen as a result of his environment and experiences. I think giving the ‘autistic’ label can be dangerous in these instances (ignoring the fact Spencer is a fictional character), as it offers an ‘explanation’ for behaviour and an excuse for those around the person to be idle. I mean this, in the sense that someone like Spencer who has experienced neglect and sexual abuse as a child, and who has difficulty connecting with and trusting those around him because of those experiences, needs help to deal with those feelings. Rather than to be less ‘autistic’.

As a final note, I would also like to say I would never speculate on a real persons status as ‘neurotypical’ or otherwise. Unless explicitly stated themselves. Things like OCD, ADHD and Dyspraxia are harder to detect in adults, especially ones we know from a few interviews. I think in this instance a non-autistic actor plays Spencer Reid, but it’s not my place to offer anything else.

[sapphiics]

More private practice opinions because i have thoughts that i 100% have to share:

jake was the only man on private practice who deserves actual rights.

Cooper and Charlotte were incredibly mean to each other. Like i get that their whole dynamic is like Charlotte pretending not to like him but sometimes they called each other idiots and stupid and bitches wayy too easily for a married couple that is supposed to be in love. Like do y’all actually like each other or is the sex good?

Sam and Naomi deserved endgame i hate both of them but i wanted them together all show.I was so happy with the last episode it was a dream.

Amelia was like canonically much younger than everybody and seen as a kid, and Sheldon’s weird crush/ want to be her savior was incredibly uncomfortable

trying to normalize angela being twenty and dating her 50 year old teacher eli was an awful call. teacher x student is already an abuse of power(from either side) but the age gap made it incredibly worse. she wasn’t “mature” for her age she was just young, impressionable, and had only ever had one relationship. jake had every right to ask eli to end the relationship. jake and eli were the same age and jake knew that there is nothing in common between eli and angela and that eli was taking advantage of her faith in him.

Mason’s mom was kind of awful. Like she was just mean and I felt bad when and how she died but she never planned on letting Cooper meet mason until she found out she was dying and that didn’t sit right with me. She also just showed up refusing to explain, so charlotte had very right to be suspicious.

Fife was a sexist pig and not redeemable.

Cooper telling Charlotte how much she hurt him when he looked her in the eyes and said she was a broken slut trying to please her dead daddy after she didn’t tell him about her cheating ex husband made me want to slap him in the face. Charlotte also agreed with him when she shouldn’t have at all.

Naomi was pro-life and a slut-shamer? that’s the black woman we get. honestly curious if we were supposed to like her

Cooper feeling emasculated because charlotte payed for his seat in the practice and consistently taking it out in her was the most toxic thing ever. He also screamed at her for her safe coping mechanism(maybe not healthy but it was just speaking in cheesy slogans and phrases) and he didn’t deserve her.

Jake and Addison were the perfect couple and probably one of the best shonda has ever made. They deserved a longer love story and compliment each other incredibly well. He is a very grounded rock in the storm of her life.

[papermoonloveslucy]

BARBARA EDEN

August 23, 1931

Barbara Eden was born Barbara Jean Morehead in Phoenix Arizona in 1931, although for years her birth year was thought to be 1934. It was fairly common for young actresses to lie about their age in Hollywood. After her parents divorced, her mother married a telephone lineman, the same profession as Lucille Ball’s father. Eden's first public performance was singing in the church choir. As a teenager, she sang in local bands in night clubs. At age 16, she studied singing and acting. She graduated from High School in San Francisco in the Spring Class of 1949. As Barbara Huffman, she was elected Miss San Francisco in 1951 and she also entered the Miss California pageant. Her name was changed to Eden by her first agent.

“If gentlemen prefer blondes then I'm a blonde that prefers gentlemen.” ~ Barbara Eden

Eden began her television career as a semi-regular on “The Johnny Carson Show” (not to be confused with “The Tonight Show”) in 1955.

Contrary to popular belief, "I Love Lucy” was not Eden’s first small screen  appearance. She had been seen in a November 1956 episode of “West Point.” 

She had also made the RKO film Back from Eternity, a remake of a Lucille Ball film called Five Came Back, which would not be released until later in 1957. It was directed by John Farrow (Mia’s father) and co-starred Keith Andes, who would play Lucy Carmichael’s boyfriend on “The Lucy Show” and co-star with Ball in Wildcat on Broadway in 1960. Eden played a college reporter and was uncredited. Coincidentally, the film also featured Tristram Coffin, who played Diana Jordan’s cousin Harry Munson in “Country Club Dance.” 

In “Country Club Dance” (ILL S6;E25), the male population of Westport is all agog when sexy Diana Jordan (Barbara Eden) visits. Lucy, Ethel and Betty Ramsey decide that getting glamorous is the best revenge. The now-classic episode was filmed on March 21, 1957 and first aired on April 22, 1957.  

Needless to say, that night at the Westport Country Club shapely young Diana’s ‘dance card’ is full!  Pat Boone (not in attendance, but mentioned) was Diana’s favorite singer!

William Asher, the director of this episode, would later direct Barbara Eden in the short-lived sitcom "Harper Valley PTA” (1981-82) and "I Dream of Jeannie… Fifteen Years Later,” a reunion special aired in 1985.

After filming was completed, Desilu gave some of its guest stars small gifts. This 10K gold-filled Zippo lighter was a present for Eden. 

That same year, Eden appeared in an episode of the Desilu sitcom “December Bride” starring Harry Morgan. 

In early 1962, Eden was on the Desilu backlot to play “The Manicurist” on “The Andy Griffith Show.”  At the same time, “The Lucy Show” was filming its first season. 

The next time Lucy and Eden appeared on screen together was at the 1968 Primetime Emmy Awards.  Ball was nominated (and won) for Best Actress in a Comedy for “The Lucy Show”.  “Jeannie” and Eden were then in their third season, but failed to break the top 30 and were not nominated, although Eden, as a recognizable TV figure, was present at the awards. Throughout its long run, the popular sitcom only garnered one Emmy nomination, for Sidney Sheldon’s writing. Barbara and Ball were also presenters (not together) at the 1986 Prime Time Emmy Awards. 

In 1982, Lucy and Eden were among the many women (and one man in drag) assembled for “Bob Hope’s Women I Love: Beautiful and Funny.”  Coincidentally, this special also featured Mary Martin, who was Larry Hagman’s (Major Nelson on “I Dream of Jeannie”) real-life mother. Eden was a favorite of Hope’s, appearing on a dozen Bob Hope specials.   

Eden was present (though she did not speak or get credited) at 1984′s “All-Star Party for Lucille Ball.” Two years later they returned for “All-Star Party for Clint Eastwood.” As a former honoree, Lucy hosted, but Eden was still only an attendee. 

In 1987, Lucy and Barbara joined a myriad of luminaries for “Happy 100th Birthday Hollywood” although they performed in different segments. A year later, Lucy, in one of her final TV appearances, was with Eden in “The Princess Grace Foundation’s Special Gala Tribute to Cary Grant.”  Grant never acted opposite either star. 

OUT OF THE BOTTLE!

In 1965, producer Sidney Sheldon signed Eden to star in his upcoming fantasy sitcom “I Dream of Jeannie” that would air on NBC. It was aimed at wooing audiences away from ABC’s fantasy sitcom “Bewitched.” Eden played Jeannie, a beautiful genie from ancient Persia set free from her bottle by astronaut and Air Force Captain (later Major) Anthony "Tony" Nelson, played by Larry Hagman.

Also in the “Jeannie” cast of regulars was Hayden Rorke (as psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Bellows), who first appeared with Lucille Ball on stage in Dream Girl (1947).

Like Eden, Rorke also did a one-off appearance on “I Love Lucy” as new neighbor Mr. O’Brien who Lucy thinks is a spy, but turns out to be just an actor.   

He would later be seen on “Here’s Lucy” as a judge deciding if Lucy Carter has held an illegal raffle or not.  

Lurene Tuttle, who played the President of The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “The Club Election” (ILL S2;E19) in 1953, played Jeannie’s mother in a 1965 episode. 

Phil Ober, Vivian Vance’s ex-husband and the actor who played Dore Schary in “Don Juan is Shelved” (ILL S4;E21) in 1955, played General Stone in two season one episodes of “Jeannie.” 

Vinton Hayworth, who played General Schaeffer on “Jeannie” did two films with Lucille Ball: That Girl From Paris (1936) and That’s Right - You’re Wrong (1939). 

Like Vance, Eden also was married to one of her co-stars and later divorced him. In 1958, Eden married Michael Ansara, who played many roles on “Jeannie” including the Blue Djinn (above).  

On “Jeannie,” Major Nelson was an astronaut. On “The Lucy Show” Lucy Carmichael was an astronaut (for a day) in a season one episode. Like “Jeannie” this episode was written to capitalize on America’s space race. 

In 1971, “Here’s Lucy” also did an astronaut-themed episode. By that time, American astronauts had landed on the moon!  Coincidentally, actor Robert Hogan (center in both photos) also played an astronaut on “Jeannie” in 1970.

“Jeannie” was produced by Sheldon Leonard, who played himself on a 1967 episode of “The Lucy Show”. 

Like “The Lucy Show”, “Jeannie” premiered in black and white before switching to color for the remainder of its run. 

Other actors who appeared on both “Jeannie” and “Lucy”: George DeNormand, Benny Rubin, Jackie Coogan, J. Pat O’Malley, Reta Shaw, Richard Reeves, Romo Vincent, Jonathan Hole, Kathleen Freeman, Bill Quinn, Herbie Faye, Milton Berle, Jack Carter, Jamie Farr, John McGiver, Richard Deacon, Don Ho, Alan Hewitt, Don Rickles, Alan Oppenheimer, Jack Collins, Parley Baer, Herb Vigran, Ruth McDevitt, Sandra Gould, Foster Brooks, James Hong, William Fawcett, Stafford Repp, and Sid Melton.

Eden played this role for five years and 139 episodes. In eight episodes, Eden donned a brunette wig to portray Jeannie's evil sister (also named Jeannie) who lusts after Tony Nelson, and in two episodes played Jeannie's hapless mother.  

AFTER THE BALL & THE BOTTLE....

Barbara Eden later said in interviews that Lucy was a generous performer and caring person, contrasting to another (unnamed) female star she had worked with. Lucille Ball thought that Eden’s costume was not attractive enough, so Lucy and Irma Kusely (Lucy’s hairstylist) spent rehearsal time ‘bedazzling’ the dress. Ball offered to put Eden under contract at her Desilu Workshop, but Eden found out later that day that 20th Century Fox had picked up her option, so Eden graciously declined Lucy’s offer.  

"It was the third job I had in Los Angeles and she was so good to me. I can’t tell you how sweet she was. I had a dress on that she didn’t think was outstanding enough. She asked me to take it off and the next thing I knew, she was sitting there putting sparkling things all over it, just to make it look better.” ~ Barbara Eden, October 2017

In 2005, Barbara Eden traveled to Jamestown to participate in Lucy-Desi Days. 

Eden was married three times and had one child who died in 2001 at the age of 35.  

“I've never stopped working. If you're active, you can appreciate what you did in the past, you don't feel like it's gone.” ~ Barbara Eden

AS OF TODAY!

AUGUST 23, 2020 - As of this writing, Barbara Eden is one of the oldest known surviving ADULT cast members of “I Love Lucy.”  She is not, however, the oldest. Mary Ellen Kaye (Mrs. Taylor in “Lucy Hates To Leave”) is a year older than Eden, and Cher’s mother Georgia Holt (Model in “Lucy Gets A Paris Gown”) is 94.   

There is no birth or death information for: Maggie Magennis (Starlet in “Don Juan and the Starlets”), Helen Silvers (Dancer Rosemary in “Lucy is Jealous of Girl Singer"), Barbara Logan (Stewardess in “The Ricardos Visit Cuba"), Milldred Law (Stewardess in “Return Home from Europe”), and Jody Drew (Miss Ballantine, Mr. Reilly’s Secretary in "Don Juan is Shelved").

[hoe-doroki]

Alright, friends, your local demi is going to take one last bow before ace week is up.

I’m going to talk about myself, because I the lived experience of ace and acespec people isn’t talked about enough and, well, this is the week to talk about it!

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s bring in a good ol’ frame of reference:

78% pure. For those who don’t know this is the rice purity test, where high scores mean you haven’t participated in many “racy” activities and low scores mean you have.

First, let’s state that I don’t want to put too much stock on this test. Only 3/4 of the questions are about sex and dating while the remaining 1/4 is about alcohol, drugs, and illegal activity. (Part of the reason my score is so high is because I, unrelated to being acespec, don’t drink or smoke.) But, like I said, it’s a place to start.

Stats. I’m a 24-year-old woman. I am cisgender, straight, and demisexual/demiromantic (not asexual or aromantic). I have never had a boyfriend, I have never enjoyed kissing, I have never had sex.

Oof, and right away, I’m embarrassed saying that.

And that’s the whole problem.

(This post clocks in at ~1.6k, so the rest is under the cut. Trigger warning for suicidal ideation.)

Well, not my whole problem, haha, but it is why I’m bothering to talk about this instead of keeping it secret, like I prefer to. I want to dispel some myths that harm the way I view myself and keep me from being honest with others. Because I fear that when people look at me and hear “24-year-old virgin” they assume things about me that just aren’t true.

First thing’s first. The fact that I’m a virgin means nothing except that I have not had sexual intercourse with another person. There are no other assumptions to be made.

It hurts when people are surprised by this. I happen to fall mostly into the barbed categories of American conventional attractiveness, so when people hear that I have never had a boyfriend or that I’m a virgin, they assume there’s something wrong with me. Or that past men I’ve been around have missed an opportunity or something.

This is shitty on two levels. One, the assumption that my stats are the way they are because of some failure sucks. All it should be is a reflection of my agency and the fact that I am the queen of saying no. (In fact, it was my first word.) But then people are assuaged by the fact that I have, in fact, been approached for sex, as though that confirms for them the value that they assumed I had. As though that’s where any of my worth should be coming from.

Two, these assumptions, when flipped, imply that it would “make sense” for me to have my stats if I looked different or was less neurotypical.

Media--as it does--has played a role in these assumptions. I think about the characters who are “later-in-life virgins” and I think of Emma Pillsberry from Glee, who deals with extreme OCD and germophobia. Or Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory, the former of whom might very well be acespec and is likely on the autism spectrum as well, but who is shown to be very antisocial with many difficulties forming interpersonal relationships and the latter of whom comes from a very conservative family and a mother who ensured she couldn’t learn social skills until well into her thirties. Or the “what if” episode of Friends that basically asserts that Monica would have been too fat to get laid. Or The 40-Year-Old Virgin, which I don’t wish to talk about. (Oof, all such problematic examples)

And yes, these characters are all white (I am not) and that’s a discussion for another post better made by someone who is more of a media expert than me.

These characters are all portrayed to have something that “explains” why they haven’t yet had the privilege of having sex. And we see in movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or a whole host of teen movies, that virginity is something to conquer--especially for male characters.

I don’t look how people expect virginity to look. I’ll be real--I have high self esteem. I think I’m awesome inside and out and I don’t see any reason why I should be shy about that. I know that if I wanted to have sex with a stranger, I could do it tonight (covid notwithstanding--be safe, friends).

And even if I were a different person who had less self confidence or looked different or came from a different background, that wouldn’t mean that I “deserve” to be a virgin or whatever it is media is telling us. Virginity still wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with the other things that make up a person.

So, louder for the people in the back: being a virgin doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with me.

Next point. Being a virgin doesn’t mean that I’m innocent, a prude, or that I’m “waiting for marriage.”

Gosh, I’ve been asked if I’m waiting for marriage too many times. Two things. 1. No. I’d rather know my sexual compatibility with a partner before marriage and 2. I’m an atheist. So no.

Also, I am not innocent or a prude.

My lack of experience makes me feel infantilized. It does. That’s a personal issue of mine and, ya’ll, I don’t have many answers for how to overcome it. But I have done what I can to change that.

Guys, some of the best choices I’ve made in my adulthood are the things I’ve done to reclaim my sexuality (meaning sexualness not orientation) for myself. Not gonna get super nsfw here, but I’ve invested in about a dozen sex toys and I intend to buy more. They always makes me feel so much more adult and sexy. And I’ve done things with them that I feel pretty confident that many of my sexually active, allosexual friends haven’t done. This kind of thing isn’t for everyone acespec, but it helps me reclaim my worth as a sexual being, without needing a partner to validate that.

I’m also fully valid to write erotica! I love erotica and it’s another way I take back my sexuality. It is just as valid for me to write as it is for anyone else. I am capable of research--both on my own body and from resources, experts, and classes. I don’t need to have had sex for my opinion to matter.

Oh, and being acespec has nothing to do with my sex drive. It seems that I have a libido that is either average or slightly above average--I’m also a person that the more I’m engaging with my libido, the higher it gets.

This often feels like a curse. I, unlike many, but not all, acespec people, strongly desire sex. Like, I’ve bundled up a 35-pound weighted blanket on top of myself whilst engaging in self-pleasure just to try and make the activity feel more partnered (pro tip: that didn’t work.) The truth is that I’m really sick of having to take care of my libido by myself and would much rather have a partner.

But it’s not easy.

I’ve tried online dating, guys. Many times. I can’t do it. That’s not true of all acespec individuals, but it is for me, at least right now. For me, my demisexuality means that the idea and experience of going out, even on a casual date, with someone I’m not already interested in is nearly intolerable. And my current lifestyle, for many reasons, doesn’t lend itself well to me naturally forming crushes.

I’ve only had one major crush in my life. And it was 10 years ago. So you understand the difficulty.

I hate being demisexual, guys. I do. I wish that I could write this post with the intent of spreading pride and positivity, but I can’t. That’s not where I’m truthfully at yet. I’m lonely to the point of suicidal ideation. I’m too young for it, but I’m already making contingency plans for freezing my eggs or trying to imagine a future where I could be a single mother and...I can’t yet reconcile it. I know that part of this is my dreams being created in society’s image, but all I’ve ever wanted is to be a wife and a mother. And it’s hard to see that future when I can only look at my past and see images of silicone and sexual repulsion.

Remember when I said I’ve never enjoyed kissing? I’ve had more stage kisses than “real” kisses and, I have to say, the staged ones were more enjoyable because at least I wasn’t forcing myself to do them. Forcing myself to try to kiss someone so that I could feel “normal.” Forcing myself to kiss someone just because I was curious about what it was other people were talking about. My first “real” kiss was at 20 years old and it was a night where I forced myself to do a lot of things for the sake of catching up with my peers and I’ve been deeply uncomfortable with that experience ever since, and I can only be grateful that I stopped it as early in the evening as I did.

Everyone’s experience is so different, ya’ll. I haven’t heard a story like mine before, so in no way can I claim it to be an experience that widely represents demisexuality. It certainly doesn’t represent asexuality, nor how queerness (or many other things) intersects with either of those things.

But, at the same time, I’ve never heard a story like mine before. Do you know how helpful it would have been to have been able to see a story like this a few years ago? Ten years ago? It would have been life changing. Because even though, in the middle of all that self-confidence I spouted off about paragraphs ago, there’s this kernel of self-hatred stuck in my teeth, I would have felt validated. I would have felt seen. I would have been able to DM someone who could have told me, hey, it hurts and I know no one seems to understand you, but I do.

That’s to say, if anyone is going through something similar and wants to talk about it, my DMs are always open. I’m no expert, and I bet some of the things I’ve said here aren’t going to hit some people right, but this is my experience. This is the most intimate part of my life. It is a privilege that I’m sharing this with you all, so please, hold it with care. I hope this means something to someone.

Happy ace week, ya’ll.

Oh, and the rice purity test doesn’t mean shit. It’s good fun if you want, but if it makes you feel any kind of way because your number is too low or too high, throw it away. That’s not where any part of your value comes from.

[hogwartsinthemoonlight]

Big Bang Theory Series Finale Thoughts

Alright everyone, I watched the Big Bang Theory series finale last Thursday and I have a lot of thoughts about it that I need to get out so I’m gonna dump them all here. Here goes...

Alright so first of all, I’m a huge TBBT fan. It’s my #1 favorite TV show, and it was the first show that I really got into. I’ve watched every single episode from all 12 seasons. I first got hooked on the show because I felt like I could relate to the characters, since I am also a nerdy scientist (well I’m studying science in university) struggling to find love. I found the humor to be hilarious and it always made me laugh. The evolution of the all characters has been very enjoyable to watch over the years. I loved all the references to other fandoms, and to science concepts. I always found it amusing when the boys would talk about something physics-related and I would actually understand it because I had learned about it at school. It made me feel smart. Seeing the show come to an end after so long was very sad for me.

WARNING: THE BIG BANG THEORY SERIES FINALE SPOILERS AHEAD

There will always be people who complain, but I think the two-part series finale was wonderful. It was so nice to see Sheldon and Amy win the Nobel prize, although I wasn’t very surprised by it, since they had been building up to it the entire season. Amy’s acceptance speech was so inspiring. As a female science student, hearing her say “To all young girls who dream about science as a profession: go for it. If anybody tells you you can’t, don’t listen” brought me to tears. And as if that wasn’t enough, Sheldon’s acceptance speech made me cry even more! Hearing him thank his family (even his father!) and all of his friends and apologize for not always being such a great friend was so moving! When he got to Howard’s name I thought for a split second “What’s he gonna say for him since he’s not a doctor? Mr.?” And then he said astronaut which is so much better! He finally appreciated Howard and didn’t belittle him!! Also, at first when Amy decided she wanted to have a makeover I was a little disappointed because Amy had never cared about her appearance before, so why start now? But then when I saw how happy she looked afterwards I couldn’t help but be happy for her. She showed us that a women can be badasses who win Nobel Prizes and look good while doing it! And the tiara even made a comeback!! Loved it! Some people were maybe hoping for Amy to get pregnant, but I don’t think that was necessary. Besides, we already know that eventually Amy and Sheldon do have children, because in the season 1 finale of Young Sheldon, narrator Sheldon says something like “I went on to make contracts even for my future children.”

And the elevator!! I was really hoping that it was going to be fixed and it was!!! I was so happy. The scene where the elevator doors opened and Penny came out was so good. Another unexpected surprise was finally seeing Halley and Michael! I had always wanted to see them, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen, so that was a nice surprise. I think that really rounded out Howard and Bernadette’s story line. The only thing that could’ve still been added to their story was Howard’s father, but I think that would’ve been too much to squeeze into the finale. It would’ve been nice to finally meet him, but honestly I think Howard doesn’t really need him in his life anymore. He has his own family now and he is happy.

Now for Leonard and Penny’s story line: finding out that Penny was pregnant was not exactly unexpected, and I think it was a nice ending to their story. Although Penny has said that she didn’t want kids, I always felt like they were going to have them eventually. I absolutely loved how Sheldon quoted Leonard’s “Our babies will be smart and beautiful” from the pilot!! It really brought the series full circle. I’m sure Leonard and Penny will be great parents. And I loved how the writers even snuck in the little detail of why Leonard always wears hoodies. So funny!

As for Raj’s story line, I think it’s ok that he didn’t end up with a significant other. The second to last episode wrapped up his story pretty well. Howard let him know that he doesn’t need a significant other and that his friends don’t want him to leave, but I wish Raj himself would’ve addressed that in the last episode. He could’ve said something like “You know what guys? I’m ok with still being single, even though I’m the only one. Someday I will find my person, but for now I’m happy to have all of you.” It would’ve been nice to hear that coming from Raj himself instead of Howard. I don’t think Anu was right for him, and I’m glad he didn’t leave everything and go to London for her. Someday Raj will find love. I think the cameo from Sarah Michelle Gellar as Raj’s date to the Nobel ceremony was a little unnecessary, since she would only be around for that one episode. Also, she can’t really be Raj’s love interest since she was playing herself and she is married. I’ve never seen Buffy though, so maybe if I were a fan I would feel differently.

Before watching the finale, I was trying to guess what the very last scene would be. My guess was that everyone would get in the elevator and then the doors would close and that would be the end. However, I liked the real ending as well. It’s the scene that’s in every opening credit, so it makes sense that it’s at the end. And I loved the acoustic version of the theme song and everyone eating takeout on the couch like old times.

All in all, it was an amazing ending and I’m really sad that my favorite show is over 😭😭. Thank god for reruns. Let me know if you guys agree/disagree with me on any of this. (Sorry this was so long but I had a lot of feels.)

[rayinberkeley]

When was the first time Big Bang Theory made you cry?

Alright, you've had enough time. Big Bang Theory spoilers. Only because I'm curious..... what made you cry?

The first time BBT made me cry was not the finale.

It was several seasons ago. Bob Newhart stars as Arthur Jeffries, also known as Professor Proton. And if it's weird to you I remember his character's real name, you'll probably laugh that I had a Professor Proton in my life as well: Don Herbert, aka Mr. Wizard from Mr. Wizard's World. He instilled in me a love of knowledge much like Proton did for Sheldon. He taught me about time zones, the earth's weird rotation and why we're closer to the Sun in our winter in the northern hemisphere. Even how to use a chain to decipher how you'll fly over a globe instead of trying to use a flat map, because of the curvature of the earth means you'll probably fly over Greenland to get to Europe. I used that trick when I went to England and figured out what I'd be seeing outside the plane's window.

Well, of course Professor Proton, Jeffries, passes away (Bob is still with us in real life) and it shakes Sheldon. But he shows it in his own unusual way. Jeffries comes to him in his dream and tells him to appreciate his friends. And out of nowhere, he just reaches over and hugs Leonard.

Oh god..... that still hits me like a ton of bricks.

I know Sheldons get on peoples' nerves, but I've also always known Sheldons. I know their troubles. I remember Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a demon, not understanding human emotions. Buffy's mother dies and she doesn't understand. She asks if anything was going to be done with her head, and everyone loses it on her, but she doesn't understand, and she breaks down crying because death was so stupid and she didn't understand why it took people she loved when they couldn't just be immortal like her.

Yeah, the same vengeance demon who was scared of bunnies.

I understand full well not knowing how others feel with normal emotions. Sheldon's growth was powerful, because it means others can grow too, if you'd just be patient with them instead of disposing with difficult people like everyone does, all too goddamned often. I get so sick of people just unfriending people like they're disposable, over stupid little reasons. People need someone who'll be there, to help them grow, and forgive their mistakes.

So the final episode, when he stars calling everyone by name from the dais in his speech, he calls on Doctor Rajesh Ramayan Koothrapali. He calls on Doctor Bernadette Marianne Wolowitz. Oh shit, will he do his usual thing with Howard?

"Astronaut Howard Wolowitz."

I broke down right there. He gave him his title of respect. And told them all he loved them. That was so big. That meant so much. Astronaut.

And tell me Howard's wedding ceremony wasn't the best ever. You'll be lying. On the rooftop so Google will capture it in its images. Giving Bernadette a star pendant but taking it back so he can give it back to her, so she can tell people she wears a star that's been up in the stars. This is the perverted little shit, doing the most amazing thing you've ever seen. That got me, but not like Sheldon grabbing Leonard after Jeffries' funeral.

So yeah, I was a wreck, and I remained one in the closing. We expected someone to move away or leave. Like the Golden Girls. Dorothy needed to make Leslie Nielson stay in Miami instead so she could stay with her sisters. I mean did you see Golden Palace? They were nothing without her! Instead it was the breaking up of good friends, and that was what wrecked me. But BBT stayed together. Why can't people stay together? Why can't I have those friends that stay together like that? Yeah, the Golden Palace chicks had Cheech, but so what? Although did you see Cheech on Celebrity Jeopardy? Motherfucker shocked us all. He could give Ken Jennings a run for his money, I bet.

Never mind. Way off track.

Then came Young Sheldon and the whole feeling as a kid, like he was a neutrino that would never bond with anybody, but we realize now that he will. And they showed everyone as a child at that moment. I'm like, okay, so is my family of friends still out there? Because that's hard for me to believe sometimes, when I still feel like a neutrino, and I want to be a quark.

Just like Young Sheldon, I once set up an entire birthday party and sent out invitations to everyone in the neighborhood and had absolutely not one person show up. Not one. I sat there and cried, just like he did when nobody showed up for the Nobel Prize announcements. I knew that one all too well.

When I first got to California, there were half as many seasons of BBT. I owned the first five on DVD. I was scared to try to get out and meet new people. I would sit and watch reruns binge watching because it comforted me. Sean could tell you this. I would hope that California would give me this group of pals because I didn't get them in Georgia, or Louisville, or Tucson. I didn't even know how to try. I'm too Sheldon I guess. I'm still wondering if I'm really that to anybody sometimes.

There are no prizes in my future, unless for some reason what I write finally makes it and I get some Hugo or other literary prize. Although I can't even get friends to read my stuff, so... probably not.

(PS: One of the stories I’m working on now is located here, called...)

(I’m just saying.)

So yeah, I've internalized this show. I internalized Golden Girls too. It's just odd to me how characters on TV stick together through incredible odds when all I've ever seen people do is throw each other away. Joined organizations to be a part of something and I've only seen them fall apart. Tried to be a part of a community only to discover they really aren't one. It's rough. I don't want to watch life happen on a screen. I want it to be real. But this is what I've got. And maybe it's a bad model since reality is so different.

But please, appreciate each other. Appreciate the Sheldons even if they drive you nuts. Appreciate me. We have so much hardship as it is. and life is short. When we don't live it, and live it together, we're throwing it all away.

I don't wanna do it all on my own. I wanna look down if I win something and be able to say I didn't get there on my own. I want people to thank. I want people who helped me get there. On your own isn't heroic. It's unnecessarily hard. And it makes it all feel meaningless.

In a sense, these characters are my pretend family. I don't have one in real life, really. So it's hard to say goodbye. But we did. And it was beautiful. And what matters, what I said when I met that man from England (who turned out to be another dick that disposed of me for no reason in Belgium) was that it's wonderful having someone that it genuinely hurts to say goodbye to. It's a pain everyone should enjoy. Otherwise, what good was any moment you ever had with anybody if in the end you can just get rid of them for no reason?

Please think about that. And appreciate each other. And let me in on a little bit of that, will ya?

[wazafam]

Given that The Big Bang Theory itself was recording-breakingly popular, and the existing spin-off, Young Sheldon, is also doing well, what other potential spin-offs might fans like to see from the show? One possible option is to focus on Leonard's family - who appear in part on the show, but don't get nearly enough attention.

RELATED: The Big Bang Theory: 5 Characters Who Were Smarter Than They Seemed (& 5 Vice Versa)

Leonard's mother appears on the show most, and has a great story arc and friendship with Sheldon. However, his father only appears twice (and attends the wedding). Leonard also has a brother and sister, who are frequently referenced (as more successful than him) but never seen. Given what little we do know of these characters, getting to know the Hofstaders better would be a great concept for a show.

10 Beverley Grows, But We're Not Done With Her

Beverley, Leonards's mother, is clearly the family member who has the most complex relationship with Leonard and his friends, and she actually appears quite often (sixteen episodes). Over time, she and Leonard start to build a more genuine relationship, and at the end, he even tells her he forgives her, and she thanks him. It's an amazing moment, but fans are not done with her - or seeing her challenge herself to be more involved in Leonard and Penny's lives.

9 Seeing Leonard Challenge His Family Dynamic Would Be Amazing

At the start of The Big Bang Theory, Leonard is cowed by his family, and feels like the black sheep and the least successful. Over time, though, he grows as a person, gains confidence, and it able to stand up to his mother and express his feelings. It would be amazing to see him follow this up by talking to each of his siblings, and starting to really challenge the family dynamic over time. This would also make for a relatable show, as everyone has some kind of complexity in their family relationships!

8 We Never Got To Meet Michael...

Michael is Leonard's brother, and over time fans learn that he is a tenured law professor at Harvard, married, and has argued a case before the Supreme Court.

RELATED: The Big Bang Theory: The 10 Sweetest Sheldon & Leonard Bromance Moments

He also built a hospital in Rwanda, according to one episode, which sends Leonard into a shame spiral about his own lack of charitable work. However, this is the sum total of what fans know, and there's definitely more to see here!

7 ...Or Leonard's Sister

When it comes to Leonard's sister, fans learn even less about her than they know about Michael! She isn't even given a name in the series, but is described as a medical researcher. She is also married, and has multiple children: Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William, and Richard. Seeing more of the life of a woman who is a mother to five, yet kept her own name and is on the verge of curing diabetes sounds like a great show even without the Leonard connection.

6 Want To See The Childhood Home

Leonard talks about his childhood relatively often, and while it doesn't sound like a happy one, fans definitely want to know more. It would be amazing to see his childhood home, or to get more stories from his past. Telling a spin-off story entirely set in his childhood might be too similar to Young Sheldon, but flashbacks could definitely work (and who wouldn't want to see a young Beverley)?

5 Penny And Beverley Are A Fantastic Dynamic

It may be unexpected, because Penny is a warm and fun-loving woman who isn't particularly academically inclined, while Beverly is a cold woman whose academic achievements are everything to her... but these two make a great pair. In 'The Maternal Congruence', Penny and Beverley even end up going to a bar and getting drunk, which is one of their funniest moments as a pair, but seeing more of these two together in any circumstance would be phenomenal.

4 Can They Be Better Grandparents?

There is no denying that Beverley and Alfred were not the greatest parents to Leonard, and he even claims that his mother did psychology experiments on him for her work! However, it would be interesting to see if this might change when Leonard and Penny start a family (as Penny was pregnant in the finale).

RELATED: The Big Bang Theory: 10 Of The Funniest Scenes, According To Reddit

They are already grandparents to Leonard's sister's children, as well, and this would be a great story - to see how their life experiences have changed how they deal with kids.

3 His Father Is Barely Seen

As mentioned, Leonard's father appears only twice on the show - in back to back episodes for Leonard and Penny's family wedding day. Given that he is otherwise mentioned, and fans know that he had an affair (that ended his marriage), there's definitely some room to explore the character here - and to see how he's coping, post-divorce.

2 Generational Romantic Advice

Leonard's parents might not be great on the romance front, but it would be amazing to see how the relationships of his parents and siblings compare to his with Penny, and to see how they might be able to help each other out. Love and relationships are one of the central parts of any sitcom, and given that Leonard's parents are divorced in the end, seeing the kids giving them dating tips would be hilarious.

1 An Excuse For More Leonard and Penny

At the end of the day, a Leonard spin-off could really just be an excuse to see more Leonard and Penny, as the show's best-loved couple! Of course, this may not be quite practical, as Kelly Cuoco (who plays Penny) is extremely busy these days, starring in The Flight Attendant and voicing Harley Quinn in her animated series, but perhaps she could be convinced to return...

NEXT: The Big Bang Theory: 10 Major Flaws Of The Show That Fans Chose To Ignore

The Big Bang Theory: Why Fans Would Love To See A Spin-Off Of Leonard's Family from https://ift.tt/2ZkvPc2

[ironcrusaderebel]

How Kaley Cuoco moved on from sitcom past to serve up racy sex scene in 'Flight Attendant'

For Kaley Cuoco, HBO Max's "The Flight Attendant" is 10,000 frequent-flyer miles away from CBS' "The Big Bang Theory." That was apparent during an intimate scene in the limited series involving her title character, Cassie Bowden, and a passenger-turned-lover (Michiel Huisman).

"Network 8 o'clock TV is a little different than HBO Max all hours of the night. I had scenes like that on 'Big Bang,' but this was like a true sex scene. I told Michiel, 'I've never done this before. Have you done it before?' He goes, 'Yeah, like 30, 40 times.' And I was like, 'WHAT?' " Cuoco says during a Zoom interview from the airy suburban Los Angeles home she shares with her husband, equestrian Karl Cook.

To maintain decorum between bedroom takes, Cuoco contorted herself above Huisman, who played Daenerys Targaryen's lover in "Game of Thrones."

"So when they called action, I still wasn't really giving my all," she says. "Michiel finally goes, 'It looks like you're hovering over a public toilet. What are you doing?' I'm like, 'I don't know what I'm doing.' So he had to awkwardly teach me how to have fake sex."  

It should be obvious we're not in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment anymore. That's OK with Cuoco, 34, who takes a huge post-"Big Bang" leap as central star and executive producer of the eight-episode, darkly comedic thriller (the first three episodes stream Thanksgiving Day) based on Chris Bohjalian's 2018 novel of the same name.

Although her "Big Bang" character Penny and free-spirited Cassie share traits ("They both love to party"), the flight attendant has more troubling issues: a serious alcohol problem and disturbing childhood memories. And, oh, yeah, a bloody corpse in her bed.

"This is definitely my coming-out party in the sense of showing everyone I can do something other than comedy. It gets quite dark, quite emotional," she says. "This is my way of pushing the door down and going, 'I can do more and I love doing more.' "

She doesn't worry about the enormous shadow cast by Chuck Lorre-produced "Big Bang," a cultural touchstone and ratings blockbuster that ended its 12-season run last year.

" 'Big Bang' is so its own planet, own dimension, own lane. It takes the pressure off because I can never compare anything to that," Cuoco says, acknowledging how "special" the show is to her.

Steven Molaro, executive producer of "Big Bang" and spinoff "Young Sheldon," watched the first two episodes of "Flight Attendant" and was "blown away" by Cuoco's transition.

"It doesn't feel like you're watching Penny. She's a different person," he says, recalling a "Big Bang" scene where her unscripted tears added poignancy. "Between making incredible choices as an actor and being in the moment at the same time, I've never seen anything quite like it."

Nevertheless, fans can't always separate an actor from a career-making role. California native Cuoco considers that with wisdom developed in a long career that includes her first movie credit at age 6; playing childhood versions of Claire Danes' and Ellen DeGeneres' characters in their '90s TV series; working with John Ritter on "8 Simple Rules" as a teen; and joining the final season of "Charmed" a year before her "Big Bang" debut at 21.

"I know that for every person that loves you, there's like 20 that don't. So, I'm very aware of that and I'm ready," she says.

Cuoco started preparing for her future when "Big Bang" was still going strong, creating Yes, Norman Productions (named for her 14-year-old rescue pit bull mix, one of her seven dogs) in 2017 and acquiring the rights to "Flight Attendant."

Cassie's enjoyment of alcohol first plays comically but signals darker underlying issues. (The character chugs airline-size bottles of vodka as if they were water – which, fortunately for Cuoco, they were. She drank so many during the shoot, "I was constantly running to pee.")

A romantic romp through Bangkok turns nightmare when a drunk Cassie blacks out and awakens next to Alex's bloody corpse. That propels her on a roller coaster ride of mistakes and brave but foolhardy risks to avoid arrest, remember what happened and not get killed in the process.

As her life unravels, Cassie relies on fellow flight attendant Megan (Rosie Perez) and attorney Annie (Zosia Mamet), friends who have their own secrets.

Cuoco, who describes her acting approach as "fly by the seat of my pants," asked director Susanna Fogel if she should ditch her "wing it" style and prepare more studiously to play a character dealing with trauma.

"And she said, 'Do not change one thing that has gotten you to this point,' " Cuoco remembers. "I almost cried. It was so freeing."

Cuoco has the skills for the complex role and a personality that lets viewers know they're "in good hands" as she tries something new, says "Flight Attendant" executive producer Steve Yockey, who has story ideas that go beyond the book if the show gets a second season. "She has this effervescence and charm and is very open. But at the same time, she's shrewd in her decision-making. And she isn't afraid to take chances."

Besides "Flight Attendant," Cuoco voices the ribald title character of HBO Max's animated "Harley Quinn," now heading toward Season 3, and she will produce and star in "America's Sweetheart," a half-hour comedy being developed for Apple TV+.

Cuoco, who mentions Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon and Regina King as acting/producing role models, squeezed in a movie, "The Man from Toronto," after "Flight Attendant" wrapped this fall.

When the COVID-19 pandemic shut down "Flight Attendant" filming in March, stalling "workaholic" Cuoco for five months, it provided a personal benefit: She and Cook, whom she met nearly five years ago at a horse show and married in 2018, finally moved in together.

"We bought our dream house a while ago and just with our work schedules – he's traveling with the horses – we couldn't move in," says Cuoco, who has discussed living apart from her husband after more than a year of marriage in past interviews. "With the pandemic, we got to nest and do that whole thing. So it was actually a gift to both of us."

With "Flight Attendant" and "Toronto" completed, Cuoco is home again with plans for more horseback riding, which "keeps me very sane and normal," especially during the pandemic.

Some day, Cuoco envisions making a full go of ranch life with Cook.

"A big part of our relationship is the bond we have with our horses, that lifestyle that we really love. I could see us living in, like, Kentucky or somewhere where we could have a big ranch," she says. "That would be a dream."

[noelmu]

MONTH IN REVIEW 12/3/17 - 12/31/17

As another year ends, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to “put everything in perspective.” It’s helpful advice, I think, though it’s advice that depends a lot on what kind of perspective the person proceeds to take. Throughout 2017, I know a lot of us have struggled with anxiety over geopolitical matters that are beyond the average person’s control. For me though, one of the takeaways from this year is that whenever possible I should remove myself from the daily discourse for a second, take a breath, and adopt either a broader or narrower view.

In the broader sense, I’ve found that it’s helped to look at history, and to think about the difficulties faced by civilizations before us, and the various cycles and swings: from prosperity to lack and back again, and between poles of authoritarianism and openness. Even in recent years, I’ve noticed that over and over our pundit class has made pronouncements about changes in the culture that they insist are locked-in and permanent, until they turn out to be anything but. I’ve seen Democrats and Republicans win elections after political scientists have declared that demographics and/or social attitudes should’ve made those victories impossible. In my lifetime I’ve seen radical changes in Eastern Europe, China, and the Middle East -- sometimes for the better, sometimes not. All I know for sure is that what we’re afraid of one day has been known to dissipate almost overnight (usually to be replaced by some new horror, granted). This doesn't make our fears unfounded, nor does it justify complacency. But it does mean that maybe we don’t have to be on edge 24-7.

In the narrower sense, 2017 to me has reemphasized the value of acting locally. Sweeping, nationwide changes are difficult; but there are plenty of daily opportunities to improve the quality of life in our immediate vicinity. Early this year I heard an interview with Asia Argento in which she said that after a lifetime of living under a corrupt Italian government, she’s learned to ignore what politicians do, and instead to focus on the people who live on her block. Granted, Argento is a well-known actress and filmmaker, which affords her the privilege to a little philosophical. But that doesn’t make her approach to life entirely wrong. All year long I’ve read stories about people on a local level getting things done. It’s been very encouraging, to know that on the smallest day-to-day level, a civil society can still click right along.

Narrowing my perspective even further, down to my house, I have to admit that we’ve had a pretty good year here. I worked pretty much non-stop, from January all the way up to this week. Donna has really connected with her last two freshman classes, and has settled into a personally satisfying role as a mentor to some truly outstanding young people. Our own two youngsters, Archer and Cady Gray, have accomplished some remarkable things both inside the classroom and at home, as they’ve pursued their various obsessions and hobbies. Cady Gray took a school trip to New York, became the designated artist for an on-line role-playing game, and got to sing with her choir at an Arkansas Symphony Orchestra Christmas concert. Archer made All-State in choir, got a 5 on the AP Physics test, a 4 on the AP World History test, and scholarship-worthy 1480 on the PSAT. We took our first real family vacation this summer, making memories we’ll carry with us for a lifetime.

One of the unexpected complications of our current time is that it’s hard not to feel a little apologetic when things are going well, given that social media and the incessant stream of news alerts never let us forget about how crummy others are feeling. But at the same time, I’ve invested a lot in my work, my marriage, and my children, and it would be ungracious not to appreciate the breaks I’ve been given, let alone to squander them.

So here’s how the Murray/Bowman household is ending 2017: stressed, but happy, and looking forward to better days, for all of us. Thank you for reading, and may God bless you all.

And now if you’re looking for something to do this New Year’s Eve, here’s a long list of links...

The A.V. Club The best films of 2017 that we didn’t review (I wrote about My Happy Family, Uncertain, and Walking Out) The A.V. Club’s 20 best TV shows of 2017 (I wrote about Halt And Catch Fire) The best film scenes of 2017 (I wrote about BPM and Call Me By Your Name) The 20 worst films of 2017 (I wrote about The Shack, Flatliners, and CHiPs) The 20 best films of 2017 (I wrote about Logan Lucky, Baby Driver, and Get Out, and my ballot is here)

The Los Angeles Times First person: Being a film buff in Arkansas isn't as hard as it used to be Under The Radar: Keanu, Hasidic Jews and streaming support (I wrote about John Wick: Chapter 2, Menashe, My Happy Family, Nocturama, and Their Finest) The Year In Home Entertainment: The Vietnam War and the best new video and streaming picks of 2017 Movie Review: Human Barbie can't save The Doll from its own incompetent horror Movie Review: Qatari sheiks pursue passion for falconry in documentary The Challenge Movie Review: Hollow In The Land has a winning similarity to Winter's Bone Movie Review: Eclectic guitarist gets his due in Bill Frisell: A Portrait Movie Review: Arty approach to woodland horror bogs down Desolation Movie Review: Netflix gets epic with Will Smith's fantasy-action thriller Bright, but the result is less than thrilling New In Home Entertainment: Dunkirk is a stirring and stunning World War II epic New In Home Entertainment: Tom Cruise pairs intensity and charisma in American Made

The New York Times 11 Shows We’ll Be Talking About In December TV Review: A Christmas Story Live! Wasn’t Lively Enough

Rolling Stone 10 Best TV Episodes of 2017: Better Call Saul, “Chicanery” 10 Best Horror Movies of 2017 (I wrote about Super Dark Times, The Devil’s Candy, and The Blackcoat’s Daughter) 12 New TV Shows You Should Be Watching (I wrote about At Home With Amy Sedaris, Brockmire, Detroiters, Great News, Manhunt: Unabomber, Tales From The Tour Bus, Sweet/Vicious, and What Would Diplo Do?) TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 7: Eugene-ics 101 TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 8: The Son Also Rises

Uproxx What We Talk About When We Don’t Talk About Young Sheldon

The Verge The Twin Peaks: The Return Blu-ray set explains what the show is, not what it means The 20 best TV shows of 2017

The Week Why The Middle is TV's most underrated comedy Tonya Harding's belated moment to shine Are Molly's Game and The Post too obviously about 2017?

[ramajmedia]

Young Sheldon: 10 Inconsistencies Compared to Big Bang Theory

Young Sheldon, now heading into its third season, is a spin-off/prequel to the popular CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory, showing the childhood life of one of the main characters, Sheldon Cooper, played by Jim Parsons. Odd, eccentric, socially awkward, and brilliant, if viewers were curious to find out what a young Sheldon might look like, this show, set in the late’80s/early ‘90s, delivers with a fabulously believable performance by Iain Armitage.

RELATED: The Big Bang Theory: 20 Things About Sheldon That Make No Sense 

The stories and casting are, for the most part, perfect, right down to Laurie Metcalf’s real-life daughter Zoe Perry playing the younger version of her as Sheldon’s mother Mary, perfect casting for Missy, his twin sister (who was seen in her adult form in an early-season episode), and even appearances by Sheldon’s childhood idol Professor Proton, a la CRT TV. That said, there are some glaring inconsistencies.

10 Sheldon Said His Dad Was A Raging Alcoholic

Sure, Sheldon’s dad George clearly loved his beer. He was usually seen having one, maybe two every night; sometimes three on Fridays. While this is a lot of beer, it doesn’t really make him an alcoholic. To a young Sheldon’s eyes, it might have seemed that his father drank a lot. So perhaps it isn’t an inconsistency insomuch as it is a young boy’s perception being carried over to his adult life.

This was even proven, to some degree, when Sheldon unearthed an old VHS tape of his father giving a pep talk during an episode of The Big Bang Theory and realized with the help of Amy that sometimes things can be “observer-relative.” Who knows, maybe the drinking got worse over time, and we’ve yet to see it. But either way, it seems like Sheldon’s dad was a man who drank a lot of beer, but didn’t really have a problem with alcohol, per se.

9 Sheldon Claimed To Be Bullied A Lot

We’ve seen glimpses of how Sheldon was picked on at school, but it seems as though he mainly kept to himself and wasn’t really tormented and bullied as much as he describes later to his friends in The Big Bang Theory.

Maybe there are things we don’t see in the series, and there’s still more story to tell.  But from what has been depicted thus far, while Sheldon didn’t really have many friends, most of the high schoolers just gave him weird looks and rolled eyes. His biggest bully was the dimwitted neighbor Billy Sparks and the little girl who’s bullying seemed to stop as soon as it began.

8 He Said He Didn’t Have Any Friends

Tam surely must be hurt to know that Sheldon told all of his friends in adulthood that he didn’t have any friends when he was younger. Meanwhile, it seems like he and Tam hung out every day, eating together, studying in the library, and sometimes even getting together after school.

A grown-up Tam did appear on The Big Bang Theory, showing that Sheldon sort of blocked out their friendship after getting upset that Tam moved away. So this could explain that inconsistency.

RELATED: Young Sheldon: 10 The Big Bang Theory Easter Eggs You Missed 

7 Sheldon’s Parents Seem All Good

While Sheldon often discussed how his parents’ marriage imploded, with his father’s cheating and staying out all night, we haven’t seen anything of the sort yet on the show. Sure, they don’t exactly have the perfect marriage; they have their arguments. But, for the most part, his father George seems like a doting, hard-working father.

So did things go terribly wrong at some point and it simply hasn’t happened yet on Young Sheldon? Or did Sheldon really not perceive his childhood accurately? We’ll have to wait and see. But if it’s the former, we might be in for a really dark season this year.

6 Where Is The House on Blocks?

In The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon mentions one time that his mother had to return home to Texas because their house was slipping off the blocks again, which would imply that they lived in a trailer park. They clearly live in a lovely home in Young Sheldon, so when exactly did they move to this type of home on blocks?

It could have been after Sheldon’s father died, which is when he was 14 or 15. Or maybe it was after George lost his job. Perhaps this means the Young Sheldon story will take a bad turn at some point this upcoming season, and the family will lose their home. Or maybe Mary and Sheldon didn’t mean the comment literally. Also, their actual house could possibly be “on blocks,” a cheaper method of building a foundation versus poured concrete.

5 Meemaw Seems Very Different

Sure, during her one appearance on The Big Bang Theory, Meemaw, played by June Squibb, was a hit, hilariously ragging on Amy. But there was no resemblance between her and the Meemaw in Young Sheldon, played by Annie Potts, both in appearance and attitude. Though she did present as the true Meemaw when adult Sheldon poured her a whiskey instead of wine and declared “I made it just how you like it – a lot in a glass.”

It’s possible that Meemaw became old-fashioned and stern as she aged, but people don’t usually change so drastically, especially strong-willed, free-thinking women like Meemaw. But we find it hard to believe that Meemaw shifted so rapidly from the wild and unconventional grandmother she was 20+ years prior to the wholesome woman she appeared to be in the present day.

RELATED: The Worst Thing Each Main Character From The Big Bang Theory Has Done 

4 Where Is Pop Pop?

Speaking of Meemaw, where is Sheldon’s grandfather, Pop Pop? In The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon credits his grandfather for getting him into science before he passed away. On Young Sheldon, it has presumably been about four years since the grandfather died, which would mean Sheldon was five years old when he passed away.

Sure, five is probably old enough to start developing an interest in particular hobbies, so it’s quite possible that someone as intellectually advanced as Sheldon got the science bug from that age. But he never really talks about his grandfather in Young Sheldon, nor about him being an inspiration. You’d think we’d hear more about the character, but perhaps Sheldon had buried his feelings about Pop Pop deep down by that point.

3 Sheldon’s Dad Was Leonard’s Bully

OK, so this isn’t entirely true, but eagle-eyed fans noticed as soon as Young Sheldon was released that the actor who plays George, Sheldon's father, is the same who played Jimmy, Leonard’s high school bully, in an episode of The Big Bang Theory.  In season five, Jimmy, played by Lance Barber, reaches out to Leonard, and Leonard finally has the chance to stand up to him.

Meanwhile, Barber returned to the BBT family to play George, and fans noticed. Sure, it was only a small role way back then. But for the sake of believability, it’s something you can’t unsee once you know.

2 How To Win Friends and Influence People

In an episode of Young Sheldon, the librarian hands Sheldon the self-help book called How to Win Friends and Influence People, which he then goes on to read and attempts to follow in an effort to, well, win friends and influence people. His tactics don’t quite work.

So where does the inconsistency lie? In The Big Bang Theory, decades later, an adult Sheldon comes across a mention of Dale Carnegie and this book and he seems unfamiliar with it. For someone with an eidetic memory, this isn’t something he would forget.

1 The Triple Knock

It could be a compulsion that didn’t strike Sheldon until much later in life, perhaps triggered by the breakdown of his parents’ marriage or the death of his father. But we notice that while young Sheldon shares some of the same OCD-like behaviors as adult Sheldon, such as being a germaphobe, one habit is missing: the signature triple knock on doors. We see adult Sheldon always do it when crossing the hallway to see Penny (saying her name three times in between as well). But a young Sheldon never does it.

That being said, there are actually inconsistencies within The Big Bang Theory as well when it comes to this one, as there have been times when Sheldon doesn’t do it.

NEXT: Big Bang Theory: 10 Biggest Twists & Reveals, Ranked 

source https://screenrant.com/young-sheldon-inconsistencies/

[aion-rsa]

Stargirl Villains: A Guide to the Injustice Society

https://ift.tt/2ZMmxp2

This article contains Stargirl spoilers.

The Injustice Society has been terrorizing the heroes of the DC Universe for over 70 years. Although they might not be as well known as their more famous counterparts, the Injustice League, and definitely aren’t as criminally insane as their predecessors, Shazam villains the Monster Society of Evil, the members of the Injustice Society have made their stamp on comics history. They’re also about to be discovered by a much wider audience as they’ve been revealed as the dangerous rogues in the new Stargirl TV series, which is airing on both DC Universe and The CW.

Created by Sheldon Mayer and Bob Kanigher, DC’s maniacal supervillain super-team debuted in 1947’s All Star Comics #37. This makes them one of the earliest supervillain teams in comicdom, though they were beaten out by Mister Mind’s Monster Society four years earlier. Seeing as we’re having fun with comic book history here, I’m going to point out that the Injustice Society and Monster Society were both predated by another team of bad guys who were the first ever super-villain team, and the reason they’re relevant is that they faced off with the Star-Spangled Kid and Stripesy too! 

In 1941’s Leading Comics #1, Green Arrow, Speedy, Shining Knight, Star-Spangled Kid (and his striped sidekick), Vigilante, and Crimson Avenger took on a group of villains collected by a man known only as the Hand, introducing the first real supervillain team! Alas, the gathering of villains was never named. Although the heroes who fought them would unite to become the Seven Soldiers of Victory, this original evil team of foes was forgotten. 

But evil cannot be defeated so easily and seven years later the Injustice Society would be born. Why were they created? Well, that’s still unclear. But when All Star Comics #37 hit shelves, they were already trying to take over the world. On a striking cover that showcased the villainous team portioning out a map of the United States with knives, the famed heroes of the JSA were shackled to the walls behind the Injustice Society. In some classic Golden Age shenanigans the team was assembled by the Wizard, who utilized them to capture the Justice Society of America.

The original lineup differed pretty significantly from the antagonists of Stargirl, with the Wizard joined by Brain Wave (both of whom have made their way to the show), Vandal Savage, and lesser knowns like the Gambler (he’s here too), the Thinker (who you may remember from The Flash season 4), and Per Degaton.

With all of that history dug up, let’s get to the matter at hand: the Injustice League as they exist in the world of Stargirl. The most interesting thing is that just like the series is re-imagining their own Justice Society they’re also setting up the legacy versions of some of the Injustice Society’s villains too. Most of this section will be focused on the original versions, but as we’ve seen, the series is seeding new versions of these characters as well. 

Icicle 

The leader of Stargirl‘s Injustice Society is Joar Mahkent (Neil Jackson). In the show we know little about the character except that he killed Starman, he’s European like his comics counterpart, and he has recently moved back to Blue Valley at the behest of Brain Wave.

Despite the fact that he wasn’t in the first comics iteration of the team, he was introduced in the same year in All-American Comics #90. In the pages of that book he uses a Cold Gun similar to the weapons that Mr. Freeze and Captain Cold use, but in the show he seems to have powers more like those of his son, Cameron.

Read more

TV

Stargirl: Who are the Justice Society Members?

By Mike Cecchini

The only child of Joar Mahkent, Cameron takes on the mantle of Icicle. But due to his father’s excessive exposure to his own Cold Gun, Cameron’s genetics enable him to turn to ice without any aid.

Speaking of Cameron (Hunter Sansone), he’s already been introduced to viewers of Stargirl, so it’s possible that he’ll be heading up the young Injustice Society when they inevitably assemble.

Brain Wave 

Henry King Sr. is the ginger telekinetic who spent the first few episodes causing havoc for the familial super team. First introduced in 1943’s All-Star Comics #15, Henry has long been battling the Justice Society of America. He’s also one of the founding members of the original comic book Injustice Society.

But there’s also the matter of his son Henry King Jr. (Jake Austin Walker). During his stint as Brain Wave in the comics, Jr. tried to reinvent himself as a hero only to lose his mind when his father died, eventually becoming a villain. Could we possibly see him develop powers here? The show seems to be hinting at this in recent episodes. If we’re going by comic book history it’s not the craziest leap. 

The Wizard 

William Asmodeus Zard (Joe Knezevich) is a genius. He’s also a talented magician who trained under a mystic in Tibet who he later murdered. Like the Injustice Society he debuted in 1947, just three issues before his team in All Star Comics #34. We saw him briefly in the opening battle, but he was properly introduced in Stargirl episode 2 (before being dispatched in episode 3)

Solomon Grundy

Probably the most famous rogue in Stargirl is the iconic Green Lantern villain Solomon Grundy. Over the years the character has shifted–most recently into an anti-hero in the DCAU–but from what we’ve seen in the show he’s a stone cold killer. He also seems to have been controlled and imprisoned by Icicle.

Grundy first popped up in 1944’s All-American Comics #61 as the resurrected corpse of a wealthy businessman who was killed in the idyllically named Slaughter Swamp, located just outside of Gotham. Like his namesake, he lives a cyclical life of deaths and rebirths. Post-Crisis he’s mostly a Batman villain, and his resurrection ability is connected to the Elemental Plant magic of Swamp Thing. Here all we know is he’s big, bad, and an impressive digital creation. With Icicle back in the picture, Grundy’s ready to wreak havoc again. 

Tigress

Easily beating out her other team members here for longest running rogue is Tigress (Joy Osmanski). The first iteration of the character appeared alongside Krypton’s blue eyed boy in Action Comics #1 as a foe for Zatara. However, the version we see in Stargirl is Paula Brooks. In the comics she was originally a heroine but Roy Thomas turned her into a criminal mastermind.

During her stint in the comics she married fellow bad guy Sportsmaster and they had a daughter named Artemis. She did eventually become the third Tigress, so we could see her on-screen iteration (Stella Smith) suit up.  Tigress and Sportsmaster are a delight on the show as over-achieving sports helicopter parents.

Sportsmaster

Speaking of Sportsmaster, Blue Valley’s favorite muscle hungry dad is Laurence “Crusher” Crock. In a hilarious turn of events he runs the town’s gym and goes by his Golden Age nickname Crusher.

Sportmaster first showed up in 1947’s All-American Comics #85 as an antagonist for the original Green Lantern. We’ve covered his familial ties in our Tigress entry, so what about this for a cool twist… could Artemis actually follow in her father’s footsteps and become the next Sportsmaster? It actually makes a lot of sense. In Stargirl episode 2 we see Paula boasting about her daughter’s athletic prowess and her hopes that she’ll be the first woman drafted into the NBA, and later episodes established that she’s the best player on the Blue Valley High football team. Could that dream not come true, leading to her disenchantment and villainy just like her father? 

There’s also the chance that the American Dream project the Society has been working on is just a way to channel their children into super-villainy? This seems like a particularly likely route for Artemis as Stargirl seems interested in upending expectations, plus Sportsmaster had a rivalry with Wildcat who has established herself as a member of the new JSA.

Dragon King

A classic Star-Spangled Kid villain who was first introduced during the Bronze Age of superhero comics–1981, to be precise–Dragon King was a WW2 era Japanese spy. Here it looks like we’re getting a comics accurate version of the villain, who spliced his genes with that of a lizard becoming a man-monster in the process (notice how his eyes blink behind that creepy hood!).

Something that’s made the early episodes of Stargirl so special is the way the show embraces the colorful chaos of comics. The Injustice Society is a truly great representation of that, and if the show sticks to these outrageous origins, crazy costumes, and strange stories, then the Injustice Society could become a super-villain team for the history books.

The post Stargirl Villains: A Guide to the Injustice Society appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/38yVvp3

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 1 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 1 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down. 

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome to The Black Box Readings, the new podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So basically, it’s a show where I narrate through a deleted or deactivated blog over the course of a season, with a focus on queer artists. Though to be honest, there was a specific blog that inspired me to make this podcast, and unless this format is super popular, I may just do the one season. Anyway, although reading things in a dramatic fashion is definitely in my wheelhouse, non-fiction podcasts are not. So please bear with me while I go through some growing pains as I try and figure this thing out. 

Alright, so this season, we have the story of a digital artist who caught my attention with a really cool piece of Overwatch fanart. It’s about her journey through a life spent mostly online, disability, and navigating through the difficulties of realizing that you’re trans.

For those of you not in the know, I am a disabled trans woman myself, so it’s not a journey I’m altogether unfamiliar with. The biggest reason I’m doing this podcast is because stories like ours get drowned out in the media. I wanted to be able to tell her story so that queer people, young and old, can hear something that resonates with them. And I have a good feeling that this will do that for you.

The Tumblr in question, I won’t say the address. Just know that the title of the blog was: “Less Than Human”. Yeah, I know. Not a very cheery introduction. I sort of choose to think of it, kind of like reclaiming a slur. If she calls herself less than human, other people lose the power to hurt her with it. I’m telling you the blog title because it is important later.

Anyways, enough out of me, here’s the first post of the episode, which happens to be the first post of the blog itself. It’s titled:

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is -”

Ok, so I guess I didn’t think this through. In the post, she uses her deadname, and I don’t feel comfortable reading it out to you all. If I have to choose between deadnaming a trans girl and being a little inaccurate, I’m choosing inaccuracy. I should say, actually, that I don’t consider myself a journalist or anything like that. Also, I get it would be bad of me to use her real name too. So we’ll just call her… Hmmm…. Ok, let’s go with Emmy.

“Welcome!

Hey, my name is Emmy, and I’m 19 years old! Nice to meet you guys! I’ve decided to start posting on my tumblr instead of using it as a dash, lol! I’m a visual artist, though I mostly stick to digital art these days. I spend most of my time reading. My fandoms are Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Supernatural, Sonic the Hedgehog, Marvel, and of course, Shrek! Lmao. I think Cat Girls are cute, but I’m not a weeb”

*Laugh* I never read this post while she was active. Her sense of humor is really present in this post, she was always silly like this. Anyways, she follows up this post by posting a backlog of art that I figure she must have made and not shown to anyone. It’s all really good stuff. Some fandom, some original. It’s clear to me that she’s not posting her earlier, rougher work. I don’t remember too many details though, as this was a while ago, and I didn’t think to save her artwork when I was copying all her text posts into the google doc. I hope someone out there saved them before they were deleted, though.

I’m not going to bore you by reading every single one of her posts, or anything like that. Just the ones that stand out to me. Here’s one about Supernatural and how she might be falling out of love with it. 

“I don’t know guys, I’m finding it hard to watch supernatural these days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of my favorite shows, it’s just totally not as good as the first 5 seasons. That and I WANT DEAN AND CASS TO BE TOGETHER! Is that so wrong? Look, Cass is an immortal being that just HAPPENED to take a male form. If he had a female form, you can bet that he and Dean would have banged already. I’ve read the tumblr posts too, the ones that talk about all the hints the writers give that Dean is gay. This is ABSOLUTELY queerbaiting, and even as a straight guy, I can see that. I have a lot of gay mutuals who have convinced me how ultimately cute Dean and Cass are, and I feel bad for them, because they’re not being treated fair. You think in its 12 seasons there would be something, but no, nothing. Pisses me off”

Here is where we start seeing a connection between Emmy and queer culture. Although she’s currently IDing as straight and male, you can tell she cares about queer representation. Now, I’m not saying that wanting good queer content makes you queer, of course not. Just that knowing that Emmy is queer, when you look back at her earlier posts, there’s some evidence there. She even talks about Castiel, a male character, having a female form, which I find interesting for obvious reasons.

Next up is a post about something outside of her fandoms, a show called Monk. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a show focused on a detective with OCD who uses his disability to solve crimes no one else can. As someone with OCD myself, I really enjoyed the show, but it’s not without its problems. Hmm, yeah, I’ll get to those after reading the post, I think

“I’ve been watching a new show lately! Well, a show that’s new to me at least. It’s called Monk! I’m 3 seasons in, and I laugh every episode. But it’s not without its serious moments too. It’s about Adrian Monk, a detective with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and it’s like a super power to him. He can do things no one else can. But he also can’t do things that everyone else takes for granted. Mood. He always says “It’s a gift… And a curse” when talking about it. Big mood. Anyway, I highly recommend it, because it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill! I’m so used to people who are “crazy” being mass murderers or some shit. Idk, it’s heartwarming.”

I noticed one of the hashtags of her post was, “Finally found a version with captions.” This is important for later and I’ll get to it by the end of the episode. Where the previous post was the first we saw of her queerness, this is the first we’ll see about her connection with mental illness. It’s unclear if she feels her inabilities are balanced off by her abilities, or if her “mood” was just about her being unable to do what others can. Since her “big mood” is regarding Adrian Monk’s favourite quote “It’s a gift and a curse”, I like to think she was being positive and was including her abilities in the “mood.”

While I do agree with Emmy that it’s a positive depiction of someone mentally ill, and that’s certainly better than having yet another bad guy is who’s only evil because he’s crazy, I’m worried that it’s too positive. It’s actually a really common trope where neurodivergent people in media are seen as “super human,” like Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, or uhh, the main character from The Good Doctor, I forget his name. It makes it look like everyone with autism or OCD are geniuses, and that sort of skews how neurotypicals view people like us in a negative way. Like, I do view my OCD as a gift, I wouldn’t be able to write the way I do, or play video games the same way if I didn’t have it. But I’m not a superhuman by any means. But I’m expected to, in some sense, outperform everyone because of my OCD, because of this impossible standard set by the media. *Sigh* I’m sorry, I’m getting really off topic. I hope you don’t mind this little rant.

Back to Emmy, I find it a little upsetting that she feels herself cursed in some way. Knowing what I know about her, I like to think she was more gifted than cursed, but given the title of her blog, I doubt she would agree with me. We can glean from this post that she is disabled in some way or another. Maybe she herself has OCD? Or maybe she just relates her own, different disability to OCD? It’s hard to tell at this point, and I don’t want to spoil it, especially since it will come up again in a few posts. 

Next up, we have a post about not just queer characters, but lesbian characters. I’m sure you have heard of Overwatch by now, even if you haven’t played it. Well, the creative devs promised us that a handful of the cast was queer, and at least to me, it seemed like an empty promise. Hmm, I guess it seems a little bit like the queerbaiting conversation we had earlier. Interesting. You know what I mean, right? Like, why take the risk of pissing off the straight, cis part of your fanbase with queer characters when you can just say some characters are queer and attract a bigger queer fanbase that way? But then they did something that blew me out of the water. They made a comic where Tracer has a girlfriend. This next post from Emmy is about this reveal.

“Merry Christmas! And what a Christmas it’s been. Because I got something I’ve been asking for for a LONG time. Blizzard made Tracer gay! I’m not the only one who’s been asking for this, a huge chunk of the fandom has been saying that Tracer is only into other girls. It’s been my headcanon for so long, and now it doesn’t have to be, because it’s canon! Tracer and Emily are so cute together! And their kiss is so hot too! Yeah, lesbians are really hot in general. They’re every guy’s ultimate fantasy. Thanks, Jeff!”

An: Ok, so before we continue, I think I need to apologize on Emmy’s behalf for the way she talks about lesbians. As a trans lesbian, I had a period where I talked about lesbains that way too. Before I came to terms with that identity, I mean. Since you believe you’re a straight guy, there’s no real explanation for why you’re so into lesbians other than them being a male fantasy. But it’s more than that. It’s part of like, seeing yourself as a girl that the idea of being with a girl that likes girls... that is so fundamentally appealing. 

Like, ok. *sigh* I remember this one time very clearly… I was with my girlfriend at the time and a friend of mine at a bubble tea shop. This was probably 9 or 10 years ago now? Jeez. Anyways, this couple of girls starts making out at the table next to us, and I had a full on sexual awakening. I remember that I couldn’t look away. Mostly because my ex wouldn’t let me forget it. I got teased by my friend and berated by my ex. Because I couldn’t explain what happened to her, let alone to myself, I eventually came up with a rather math-y explanation involving vectors of attraction *laugh*. Something like, if women are attractive to me, and men are not attractive to me, then adding their vectors together gives less attraction than two women’s vectors being added together. It was pretty stupid. I don’t talk to either of those two people anymore, by the way. 

Anyways, my point is that since this is before she’s realized she’s a lesbian herself, she’s under the false impression that she needs to sexualize lesbians in order to explain why she’s so attracted to the concept. So please don’t hold that against her. 

---

With that out of the way, we can move on to her next post. It’s a piece of art she made, and it’s pretty special to me. You see, this was the way I found her blog. One of the blogs I follow, who knows which at this point, must have reblogged it and it came across my dashboard. Again, I don’t have a copy of any of Emmy’s art, but I remember it pretty well. It’s a picture of Emily wearing Tracer’s outfit... Shit… Why did I give Emmy a name so close to Emily? Emily as in Tracer’s girlfriend. Maybe it’s because of my association with her and this drawing? Either way, it’s too late now, I’m not re-recording this whole episode. *Sigh* We’ll just stick with the blogger being named Emmy. Anyways! She’s sort of looking a bit out of place, like she doesn’t know how to feel about having a Chrono-accelerator attached to her chest. There’s a speech bubble in the frame pointing off screen that says, “You look marvellous, love!”, or something to that effect, but it’s obviously supposed to be Tracer saying it. It was a really cute drawing, and I was really fond of it, so I liked and followed. Feels like so long ago. 

Anyways, she did reblog the picture afterwards, saying:

“Thank you so much for all the notes! I really appreciate the support. Who knew that something so dumb would be liked by so many people? I really like Emily, and I hope she’s added as a Hero in Overwatch soon! I feel so happy! I’m going to go and do some more drawing, so keep an eye out for more posts!”

Not much going on in this post, but I decided to read it anyway because it contrasts so heavily with the next post. Not the next time she posted, but the next post I’m going to read. Actually, it’s the last post of this episode. 

So, I’m going to warn you, this is a side of Emmy we haven’t seen yet. The really negative side. *Sigh* I don’t know what set her off, maybe nothing did, but I think this post is very important to read to you, as it clears the air about her disabilities.

“I really appreciate all the love you’ve given my art, but I feel like I don’t deserve any of it. I’m so broken and worthless and I’ve only been pretending to be normal so that you’ll all like me. The truth is, I’m physically and mentally disabled, and life is just a never ending struggle. 

First off, I’m deaf. Very deaf. The quietest thing I can hear in either ear is a chainsaw. It means I can’t understand speech or anything I’d need to be social. I don’t know sign language at all, I was never taught. So I just… stay inside all day. I’ve been homeschooled by my Dad since I was young. He thinks something bad will happen to me if I go outside, because I couldn’t hear something like a car coming towards me. So I live my life online, for the most part. I feel so isolated, and like I can’t relate to anyone normal. 

Also, I have Bi-Polar Disorder. For those you don’t know of it, it basically means I have high highs and low lows. I’ve done a good job so far at hiding my lows from everyone and only showing my highs. Until now, I guess… I just feel so low today, and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I just had to be real. Even if it’s an ugly side of me that I hate. My dad hates how moody I am too. He just doesn’t get that it’s not my fault. Even my highs are hard for him to handle sometimes. Anyway, please forgive me for lying so long”

So, I sense a bit of imposter syndrome here. She’s gotten some success and because she views herself as not even a normal person, she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a pretty common feeling amongst content creators and something you have to move past if you want to make stuff. It’s like, *sigh* like me, I’m not an expert voice actor, why are people listening to me? I have tricked them into thinking I’m worth listening to. If you’re feeling that way about a recent success, just know that it’s all bullshit and it’s normal to feel that way. I wish I had that knowledge at the time I originally read that post… Because then, I would have messaged her and let her know. But yeah, we have more to unpack here.

She talks about being deaf, and the level that she describes is a profound hearing loss, which is as bad as it gets. I have that level of hearing loss in my left ear, and it’s really hard to deal with. So, I kind of can’t imagine what it would be like to have it in both ears. 

Like, for me, I remember this one time where I was at my locker in high school, and someone must have been asking me a question a few times on my bad side. She wanted to know if I had any extra bus tickets, and by the time I finally caught on that she was talking to me, she said something like “Urg, I just want to punch you.” And it wasn’t a joke either, she was very frustrated with the way my hearing loss had affected her. It made me feel small, and like I was an inconvenience to those around me. Guess it didn’t help how I felt that I had a crush on her at the time… Ha… *Sigh* It was very isolating to grow up like that. I didn’t really belong there, but I didn’t exactly belong in the deaf community either, since I could hear fine out of one ear. So when Emmy describes how isolating it is to be deaf and not know sign language, I get it. I really feel that. When I saw this post, it really made me feel for her. This is probably the point in time where I made a mental note to support her art whenever I could. 

Lastly she talks about her mental illness, being bi-polar. I know a lot less about bi-polar disorder than I do hearing loss. Though I was in a production that never wrapped up about a bi-polar teen. Actually, I was the strict dad who couldn’t understand his child’s illness, which is a similar theme seen in Emmy’s post. I’ve actually been cast as a dad 3 or 4 times now? Yeah. *Laughs* Anyways, what I understand about it is that it can be seasonal. You might be manic for a season, and depressive for another. But yeah, it doesn’t always work that way. Usually medication can help balance you out, but in Emmy’s case, she wasn’t taking any meds at this point. I’ll say it here for clarity’s sake, but her having bi-polar disorder was a self-diagnosis, not a professional one. That’ll be covered in the next episode, though. 

So now the whole “Less than Human” thing makes a bit more sense, doesn’t it? Not because it’s true in any sense, but because it was true to her. Disability is something that people tend to see as different, or othering. There’s a lot of stigma there. We can sort of tell at this point that the way her Dad views her and treats her doesn’t help her feel any better about this either. 

That’s why she likes the depiction of mental illness in Monk so much, right? Because it’s a bit of a “More than Human” approach. It gives her some hope that maybe she can be seen positively one day too. As far as movies with Deaf characters goes there’s like 100, if I recall correctly. Which is honestly pitiful compared to the amount of movies, period. So it’s more than likely that she never got to see herself in media in that perspective before. 

Also, there’s the markings of a budding trans girl in there too, which may further intensify the feeling of not being human. For years and years *sigh*, there was practically zero positive representation of trans people in media. We’re taught that feeling like this makes us freaks, and that presenting differently than we’re supposed to makes us... something worse than that. It all comes together to form something bitter and isolating. Especially before you start owning those parts of you and finding a community of your own.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! I really ranted more than I thought I would. Hopefully you all liked the anecdotal stuff I added in, didn’t really plan on doing that. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

[its-lifestyle]

IN conjunction with Mother’s Day, here are five TV mums we take our hats off to.

Rebecca Pearson (This Is Us)

After being dealt with life’s biggest blow – the death of her husband Jack – mother of three Rebecca (Mandy Moore) picks up the pieces of her family’s shattered world and try to do what feels absolutely impossible – move forward.

Besides the single mum’s strength and tenacity in the midst of adversity, I admire Rebecca’s ability to know when to listen to her children (and most importantly, without judgment) and also when to speak her mind.

When her daughter Kate, now all grown up, announces her plan to go through with a fertility procedure that could endanger her life, Rebecca steps in and tells her to reconsider.

After saying her piece, Kate decides to go through with it anyway. Although she disagrees, Rebecca ultimately respects her daughter’s choice, even helping her with her hormone injection by the end of the episode.

Rebecca once shared her parenting mantra to Kate: “My mum was tough… She was just a closed, steel door. And even if you could get through, there was a room full of spikes right behind it.

“I always wanted to have a daughter because I wanted to do it a different way. I wanted to be the mum that had her arms wide open just waiting for you to fall in if you needed it.”

Somebody pass the tissues!

Maya DiMeo (Speechless)

Speechless puts a teen with cerebral palsy JJ (played by actor Micah Fowler who has cerebral palsy) front and centre, a significant move seeing that there aren’t many TV shows that feature people with special needs.

One of the highlights of the show has to be bold and brazen mum Maya, played by Minnie Driver, who stands up for JJ in every and any situation.

In the show’s pilot, Maya finds out that the very ramp her son is using to get into school is also used to transport garbage. She proceeds to give the school principal a shelling like no other.

Maya has never waned in her fight for JJ to have a normal childhood and it is this feistiness, borne out of love, that we tip our hats to.

Jessica Huang (Fresh Off The Boat)

Tough love is the very definition of our next mum, Jessica (Constance Wu).

Fresh Off The Boat sees a Taiwanese family, the Huangs, building their lives in the United States. While Louis is the sporting, fun-loving dad, Jessica is definitely the resident disciplinarian.

Her no-nonsense approach to parenting, something we Asians can identify with, helps instil values like self-discipline and hardwork in her kids. She also places a lot of importance in making sure they know and remember their Chinese roots.

Jessica is strict but it all comes from a good place – she simply wants the best for her children.

Mary Cooper (Young Sheldon)

Sheldon is a genius and there’s no telling what he could achieve with his intelligence. But Sheldon is also only nine.

His mum Mary (Zoe Perry) is faced with the difficult decision of whether to send his son to college (he’s already in high school despite his young age) and let him fulfil his academic potential, or to let him enjoy his childhood for a few more years?

While the series hasn’t seen Sheldon taking that big step yet, Mary has always nurtured his son’s talent and passions, sending him to attend classes in college every now and then.

Also, instead of trying to help him fit in (Sheldon tends to speak his mind, and often, his opinions aren’t popular), Mary lets his individuality come through, which is especially significant seeing that they live in a conservative town.

Mary represents the mums who encourage their kids to pursue their dreams and embrace their uniqueness.

Claire Dunphy (Modern Family)

Being a mother isn’t the only thing that defines a person. Mothers are daughters too. And mothers are career women too. Modern Family’s Claire (Julie Bowen) exemplifies this.

After devoting her life to caring for her children for many years, Claire decides to join her father’s closet business.

She eventually proves her worth and assumes the top post – all these while taking care of her family. She’s also a sister to Mitchell, who often comes to her for help.

How she seamlessly puts on one hat and takes off another in record time is a wonder. And that’s exactly what all mothers do.

from Family – Star2.com http://bit.ly/2LDLpeR

[pubtheatres1]

GOOD GIRL Written and Performed by Naomi Sheldon Directed by Matt Peover Vault Festival 2018 28th February – 4th March ‘Sheldon is a marvel’ ★★★★ Naomi Sheldon’s Good Girl is one of the many female focused coming of age stories out there at the moment. Beginning in 1996 and moving through to 2018, Sheldon charts the highs and lows of one GG (good girl) through puberty, adolescences, emotional explosion and consequently emotional repression. What sets this piece apart is Sheldon’s spectacular acting skills, the quick and constant humour, and the brazen truthfulness of each story she so superbly tells. Sheldon begins the story as ten years old, wide eyed, emotional, about to swim the final leg of the relay at school (a punishment for being caught kissing a boy). When hit with an overwhelming burning emotion, a mix of anger, shame and guilt. So, she sinks to the bottom of the pool. The anecdotes and micro tales of puberty and adolescent are funny, both because of their accuracy and because of Sheldon’s delivery. But beyond the nineties references and the humour Sheldon explores episodes in formative years that can have a profound effect on women and their relationship with their own body and emotions. Particularly powerful was the young GG being presented with a porn magazine by the boys in her class and told ‘that’s how it’s supposed to look’, indicating a naked woman with what GG calls ‘the most perfect vagina’ she’s ever seen. This scene was made so much worse as it was preceded earlier in the show by a wonderful moment when GG and her friends (all multi-roled superbly by Sheldon) have their first exploratory look at their own vaginas; a funny, sweet moment shared among close friends. One of the things that dictates a lot of GG’s life is wanting to be a good girl. Good girls don’t express too much emotion, so GG decides she just doesn’t want to feel anything. This emotional suppression then begins to manifest in a physical numbness, particularly in a sexual context. GG describes her moments of heightened intense emotion as it’s as if her body is leaking out her skin. And when something can’t leak when it needs to, it eventually bursts. The earlier ages portrayed had a lot of clout and impact for me. But the show did seem to slow down towards the end. I don’t know how much of the piece is or isn’t autobiographical, not that it matters, but the scene where GG, in her twenties now, tries out a controversial job didn’t seem to sit well within the narrative for me. It felt slightly too unbelievable when the rest of the show seemed so startlingly truthful. I also found it odd that her emotional issues were never given a distinct title, she does say when she was younger ‘This is the nineties, no one knows what the fuck is going on’. But it niggled at me that even though she describes the emotional moments with great intensity and specificity, there is so much vagueness around what it sort of actually is. Sheldon is a marvel in this show, she understands exactly what is required of her as a solo performer who has to hold our attention for an hour by herself, and she delivers. This is more than just a tale of growing up, or an exploration of ‘the angry young woman’; Sheldon taps into something in our culture that can prove to be fundamentally damaging to women. The concept of a ‘good girl’. We’ve all wanted to be one at some point. We’ve all let it dictate our behavior. This show blows the lid right off it and takes a good long, painful look at what this can still do to women. Good Girl has transferred to the Trafalgar Studios until 31st March, you can get tickets here: http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/good-girl/trafalgar-studios/#buy-now Verity Williams is a poet, actor, playwright, dog enthusiast and committed gin drinker (not necessarily in that order). Born and raised in Dorset, Verity has a BA in English and Drama from Royal Holloway, an MA in Creative Writing from Bath Spa and an MA in Acting from East 15. @Verity_W_