#shewhich stuff

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

Mini OFMD Breathwork Analysis - CoCaptains?

Crossposting this from Twitter because I’m shameless. Someone (FineFabricFancy) posted this clip and said “I will never recover from this” and the WHY would not leave my head. Look at this little 7 second clip. Why does it their love feel like it’s jumping off the screen?

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This clip is gold because you can literally hear both of them push all their air out as their chests constrict in affection and joy.  They’re not laughing, not really, it’s more like a sudden surprised exhale. What we’re hearing is that they’re so in love they forgot how to breathe for a second. Try it! Breathe in, smile really big and breathe out quickly through your mouth. When you feel your chest contract, you feel like a teddy bear someone squished and you wanna giggle and kick your feet. It’s the sheer joy pouring out of them. And look at Ed, look at the way he has to immediately look away from Stede because he starts blushing like a slut. The beard is hiding the smile, but you can see it in the apples of his cheeks! His gaze is so soft and loving (remember this is after the Fine Things Well scene, so he knows exactly how he feels at this point).  Meanwhile Stede looks shocked. His eyebrows go up and his mouth drops open. Utterly stunned that someone is on the same page as him for once. Not only is his idea not stupid, Ed had the same idea! There’s no greater proof than tactical genius Blackbeard having the same idea. And then he smiles so hard his whole face scrunches in like a little cat.  When Ed offers his glass for a cheers, Stede pulls himself together, so pleased. It’s this tiny moment of seeing confident, competent Stede - no worry or anxiety, and no false performative bravado. He’s relaxed and secure for a couple seconds knowing that he’s safe and seen with Ed.  And I really think we’re going to see more of that Stede in Season 2. It’s a tiny glimpse of boat-dragging Stede. And they’re just SO IN LOVE.  

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

Goddamn it I made it 100 episodes into The Magnus Archives before realizing that Michael the Lightning person and Michael the Spiral person are in fact different entities. Shit.

Also, yeah, the Magnus Archives is eating my whole brain currently. I’ve never listened to it before .

Why am I so horny for the Archivist? That Voice just does things to me, especially when he’s being a full-blown cunt.

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

My current theater is next to a Panera.

And today we found it on the ceiling.

The Bread Valve.

We control the bread now.

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

OFMD and Breathwork Part 2 - The Kiss Scene

Much later than intended but I’m back, as promised, with the part 2 of my breath and voice work thread, this time looking at the kiss scene in Episode 9.

I really thought this was going to be more fun, but turns out it was mostly sad. Oh no. But before we get sad, let's do a part 2 of the basics. If you’re just joining, please read the other thread (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/not-she-which-burns-in-it/686892030208638976?source=share) for info on where breath comes from in your body (in an acting sense) and how it affects the tension of the scene. This time we’re gonna focus on the pace of the scene, and when in your breathing cycle you begin speaking, and how that reflects the acting choices you make. 

LET’S DIVE IN!

BREATHING 202 - PACE

Ok, we’re working with my crude drawings this time, I’m so sorry. Here is a line of your breath. Line goes up for breathing in, line goes down for breathing out. Pretty self explanatory.

When you’re awake and talking, the breath cycle isn't really gonna look that smooth. The lower line for instance is more like your deep relaxed breath - breathe in deeply, quick at first and then slowing down as your lungs reach a comfortably full level. Then slowly breathing out in a long tail. As soon as you’re done, you breathe back in, no pause. This really makes more sense when you try it. Try breathing in following the lines, we’re all gonna learn today. 

Now here are some simplified spots where you might start speaking in your breath cycle, meaning how much air is in your lungs when you start making words happen. Let’s take a look at them:

So, we put all this together and we get a map of intentions. Especially when we combine this breathwork with the info from part 1, and all the other pieces of acting - micro expressions, body language, non-fluencies (uhms, ahhs, sighs) - we can glean SO MUCH about the acting choices and storytelling. If I ever get around to a Part 3, I’ll do the intro section on Spicy Breath and Vocal Work, I promise. That’s a whole thing. But for now let’s get to the kiss scene. I looked at the whole scene, not just the kiss itself, because the story demanded it.

THE SCENE BEFORE

Ok, in order to talk about this scene we have to go back to where we last saw Stede. Everything starts going wrong right here in this gif. The music that plays at the top of the kiss scene starts 5 minutes earlier in this moment. The second Stede learns that Mary reported him as dead, the smile falls off his face and this delicate piano music comes in (I quit music school to study theater but I can tell you it’s in a minor key). 

That leads us into the bunk bed scene - that music is still playing - where he’s wondering aloud whether Mary really thinks he’s dead or just reported him dead out of spite. He’s flashing back to his family, the worry for his children starts creeping in. Mary is still coded like an antagonist at this point, but the phrasing “do they really think I’m dead”, tells us he’s worried about his children mourning his death while he’s off being happy and falling in love. The music cuts out the second Ed appears. Ed clears away Stede’s troubled thoughts. Awww. But oh no, it’s doesn’t last. This conversation with Ed doesn’t make him feel any better, it makes him feel worse. Look at his face when Ed says “It’s time to accept our fate”

Stede is so upset he literally runs away. He darts out of the dormitory out toward the water leaving Ed sitting on his bed. And Ed is not oblivious to this, he’s worried. His mouth is tight, his brow is furrowed, and his eyes are casting down and around as if looking for an explanation. He’s upset, why?

Now, Ed isn’t stupid, he can think of a bunch of reasons why Stede might be upset, they’ve been captured and are losing their freedom. Of course, Ed has missed the key element here, which is Stede’s bottomless pit of worthless self-image. So what does Ed gather from this - Ed is ok with his adventurous life being over, but Stede is not. This is a good theory from Ed’s perspective, he is ready to stop being Blackbeard but Stede just got started as the Gentleman Pirate, it makes sense for him to be not find joy in moving on from that life. 

SO. The beach. We start with the same melancholy piano music picking back up. More flashbacks to playing with his children. Look at his body language, he’s curled up staring out at the sea. His knees are pulled up like they were when Ed left him for Calico Jack. His hands are on his knees holding himself together, and his thumbs are gently sweeping back and forth across his kneecaps - trying to sooth himself. Honestly he looks like he’s about to cry, his lips press together and he breathes in deep. There’s no one for him to speak to, he’s alone, the breath is to either tamp down the wave of emotion or let it out. But whatever he’s about to do, Ed immediately derails that plan.

And this takes us into the kiss scene. Stede is wallowing in guilt over his family, and guilt over dragging Edward into all this with him. Ed is looking to convince him to look on the bright side. Now you can “look on the bright side” of loss especially if you’re gaining something else. “Hey you can’t be a fancy pirate, but maybe you can have me” Excellent proposition Ed, well done. Tragically, that’s not the problem. You can’t cheer someone up from guilt and feelings of worthlessness, it will in fact make them feel worse. “Hey you feel bad for being happy while your family is in trouble, what if, we had even more happiness together?”

THE SCENE

“There you are” implying he’s been looking all over for him. And look how close he sits. They don’t appear to be touching, but it’s a couple inches at best between them. Now it’s Ed’s turn to let out a breath. He settles himself with it. It’s not clear whether it’s relaxing, now that he knows Stede is ok, or if it’s a determined breath because he has an idea of how to fix Stede’s sadness and he’s come looking for him to do just that.

He starts with a joke, but this isn’t his boisterous joking voice, it’s not even his normal speaking voice, it’s soft, gentle, and from the throat (check part 1 for what that means) it’s very similar to the way Stede speaks to Ed in the moonlight, or in the bathtub scene. It’s soothing and intimate. Given the sudden breath in and out before he starts, I’m guessing the intention was to start with a “tell me what’s wrong” sort of approach and he chickened out and went for a joke. But his voice is still in the soft “tell me what’s wrong” tone and volume. Adorable. But Stede brushes it off, “Oh come on, stupid idea”. It’s even softer in vocal quality than Ed. But somehow it’s not increasing the intimacy, it’s creating distance. How? Because the lack of volume and vocal support isn’t to draw Ed closer, it’s because Stede isn’t really talking to him, he’s talking to himself. As soon as he says it, Ed looks down and stops smiling. It’s hard to catch because he’s blurry in the foreground, but you can see the concern immediately rush back in oh this isn’t something easily fixed. Here’s where I get sad already. Stede looks at Ed to gauge his reaction before doubling down on the negative self-talk. By the time Stede looks at Ed, Ed is no longer smiling gently at Stede. All Stede sees is a concerned frown. He’s concerned for Stede, but Stede’s never gonna see it that way. The “Oh shut up” response is so quick, it’s reflexive. I’d bet anything it’s a #1 (Speaking before you breathe in) but I can’t tell where he is in his natural breath cycle to say for sure. But instead of engaging with his own emotions, Stede pivots to Ed’s emotional state instead. This is a recurrence in their relationship where Ed is emotionally vulnerable and Stede provides comfort and support. Stede is much less willing to share his own feelings - so much for his “talk it through as a crew” motto. Ed unfortunately (fortunately?) takes the bait.

Stede’s at a normal breath placement (either a #2 or #4), but listen to his emphasis “how are you handling this so well” - compared to Stede handling it very poorly. But again, we’re not saying that outloud.

Listen to Edward’s speech here, this is a great example of using breath to pace a speech where your character is discovering each piece of what he’s saying as he’s saying it. He’s taking small breaths in between each new idea. I’ve added tally marks here to visualize it. “I don’t know [///] It’s kinda nice just to take a load off [//] Just to [/] Just to be [/] Edward [//] I don’t know if I wanna go back to the old days [/] just drinking all day and [/] biting the heads off turtles or [/] making some poor bloke eat his own toes as a laugh [//]” 

Notice how the word “Edward” is completely isolated by breath. It’s HUGE for him to acknowledge Edward’s desires are different from Blackbeard’s. It’s something Izzy seems to have been aware of from the beginning, but Edward really only realized once Stede came into his life. Stede, bless his refined little heart. Takes a full breath in to not respond to the “eat his own toes” comment. Because he’s polite, and loves Ed, and doesn’t want to derail the emotional sharing by over-reacting. But you can see it in the immediate and deep furrow of his brow.

When Ed starts speaking again, he’s a little more hurried to get the thought out. The biggest note is the separation of the word “Ed” again, it’s revelatory to not just recognize the parts of him have different desires but that he should prioritize Edward’s desires and needs over Blackbeard’s. And BOY OH BOY does he act on that realization immediately. Because what Ed wants is 1,000% clear to this man. 

BUT STEDE MISSES THIS DISTINCTION. 

Listen to his emphasis. He matches the structure but he puts the emphasis on happy not on Ed. 

“What makes Ed happy” vs “What makes Ed happy?” It’s a subtle difference but extremely important. Because Stede thinks he’s saying 

“Pirating has made me happy until now, but I guess, since there is no escape, no way back to that life, I want to be as happy as I can…” But in reality he’s saying “Pirating made Blackbeard happy, but for the first time, I want to focus on what makes Ed happy, because I enjoy being Edward…” But let’s finish that thought and really cry. More breath tally marks, because they’re important.

“[//] These past [/] few weeks [//] have been [//] the most fun I’ve had in ages [/] years [/] maybe ever. [///] so [//] so uh [/] I reckon [/] what makes Ed happy [//] is [///] you.” Again, we’re getting breath in between each new thought, or each moment where he needs to gather strength to get these words out. This time instead of “Ed” being isolated by breath, the word is “you”. Stab me in the heart. Confessing your love for someone is hard, oh wow it’s scary, and Ed needs all the breath support he can get. He’s also not speaking very loud. They’re so close to each other, these breaths are tiny little snatches of air. That last phrase though. “What makes Ed happy is you” Why does it sound so breathless if he’s taking so much time to breathe? Let’s Map It Out! (THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT)

Ed getting that last word out with the last bit of air in his body is EVERYTHING. It’s desperate. It’s vulnerable. It’s so unsure of what happens next or if he should be saying it at all. It’s taking a huge chance because this is the moment things between them go from subtext to text. This isn’t just saying “Hey, let’s bang” it’s saying “I have soft squishy feelings for you, and maybe that makes me weak but I don’t care because you make me happy”. And Stede is FLOORED. The Gnossienne No 5 comes in, and everything is good. His whole face lifts up like the simple act of making another person happy is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to him. Especially since he started out this scene dwelling on how much he’d disappointed his family, his parents, how he’d made this difficult for his crew and Ed, and everyone in his life. For Ed - glorious, wonderful, legendary Ed - to say that Stede is what makes him happy. Holy Shit. That’s groundbreaking for Stede. This is the first and only real smile we get from him in the whole scene. You can see the worries lift off him for a second. And before he can say something stupid: the kiss. 

THE KISS

Ed reaches around to anchor Stede’s opposite shoulder as he presses in - both to angle him properly and to stop him from startling away. Not in a forced manner, his touch is gentle, moreso he’s aware that Stede’s not experienced at this and he’s guiding the moment. So thoughtful. Also, so soft, my god.

Stede responds to the kiss immediately, he’s not just passively being kissed. Eyes closed and lips pressed forward, he’s about it. And he moves his lips on Ed’s to find a better position. As Ed shifts forward more and brings his left hand up to Stede’s shoulder he’s turning his whole body into the kiss, gently stroking his right hand down Stede’s back. The rustle sound you hear is Ed pulling his leg up in the sand to get better leverage turning to Stede. Stede meanwhile sweeps his arm forward toward Ed. I can’t see where his hand lands, but it looks like it’s going for Ed’s knee. 

Ed breathes in before he kisses Stede, (part one call back) but it’s hard to catch because he doesn’t do it until he starts moving. I LOVE this because it implies he didn’t decide to kiss Stede until he was already doing it. It’s a small catch breath, not much air, and certainly not enough for a big romantic kiss. So we hear Ed breath in bigger through his nose as they kiss - breathing is not important enough to stop kissing Stede - right before he starts shifting his body. After he shifts you hear him breathe out, again through his nose because he’s not stopping this kiss for any single reason. But it comes out slow like he’s sighing into the kiss. 

They are both pressing forward, despite the shifting bodies and sweeping hands, their lips don’t part. After they reposition their bodies, Ed turns his head to deepen the kiss just a little and we get that tiny tiny whimper noise from Stede and all my braincells explode into gay glitter. 

I’m not sure Stede is breathing at all here. He might breathe in a bit when they shift, but I’m not sure. I think it’s just internet start-up noises in there. Which might add to his dazed expression and whispered response post-kiss. When Stede opens his eyes he’s looking at Ed’s lips, briefly, before his glance goes back to Ed’s eyes. This moment is pure joy. Even if the guilt comes rushing back in, this moment is golden.

POST KISS 

Stede’s line “You make Stede happy” is in the softest whisper. And they stay at this intimate whispered level until Ed’s plan starts to form. We really hear Ed’s voice come back on “There’s always an escape” while Stede responds in a whisper, not yet bought into this plan.

It’s not until “China” that things start to go wrong. As soon as Stede says China, his glance skitters away and down. He hedges, “That’s quite far away.” Ed interprets this as “Can we get that far” when really Stede means “Maybe we shouldn’t go that far.” But alas, Ed doubles down on the thing Stede is most worried about “Our old lives will be gone, never were.”

Stede looks down again, to the same spot, and the cut away tells us he’s thinking of Mary. And the clip is significant here. It’s both a refutation of Ed’s point “We can start a new life” vs “We only have one life.” And the bits about “We never would have chosen each other.” relay strongly to themes of found family. Because Stede wouldn’t just be abandoning his family in Barbados by running away to China, he’d also be abandoning his Found Family on the Revenge. I genuinely wonder if we would have gotten this anxious guilt reaction if Ed had simply proposed going back to The Revenge. It would have felt less like an abandonment to Stede, and “now or never” in getting closure with Mary and the kids. But. We’ll never know. SO. We’d looked at Ed’s breath in his decision moment, now let’s look at Stede’s. Right before this cut away to Mary, Ed asks “What do you say?” Stede breathes deeply in and out. We come back from the cut away to see him finishing that exhale as he looks out to the ocean. He doesn’t breathe in. He presses his lips into a thin line. He doesn’t breathe in. He swallows nervously and looks back at Ed. He STILL doesn’t breathe in. “Yeah.”

https://youtu.be/cQC_7HAMza4

He’s 100% speaking with no air. He desperately needs to breathe in and feel steady, get support for his words, and think clearly, but no. The word just escapes him in this desperate whisper. It sounds like somebody punched it out of him. I think Ed misses it because he assumes Stede is nervous for the dangerous escape, or just flustered from the kiss. But folks, if you’re asking someone something really important and they say Yes in that tone, and then make THIS face.

Stop and clarify that they’re ok, and that they actually want whatever it is. Because wow, this is a cry for help. Also, listen to the music at this exact moment, it does this discordant little minor trip that just SOUNDS uneasy. Brilliant music design here folks. It trills up when Ed realizes Stede is saying yes, and then comes jarring back down when Stede makes this face. OUCH.

I love the mirroring of breath between Ed’s “...you” and Stede’s “...yeah” - one is so full of hope while the other is so full of despair and yet they are physically executed in the same way. Brilliant, so painful, thank you David Jenkins. It’s also further proof that Stede’s breakdown was not just from Chauncy, but a crash and burn that he was headed to from the moment they got to the island. Ed’s phrasing here also mirror’s the bathtub scene “I was suppose to kill…. you” as many people have pointed out. But here’s the thing, that scene brings them closer together because Ed is being vulnerable and Stede is providing support. Stede is comfortable with that role, because he doesn’t have to examine any of his own feelings and desires. This scene is the opposite. Despite Ed making the love confession, this scene is about providing Stede emotional support. Stede is ZERO percent ok with openly acknowledging what he wants or needs, which again leads to this face. 

I don’t think he was planning on ditching Edward the way he did though. Not based on this physicality. This SCREAMS “maybe if I just keep pushing these bad feelings down they’ll go away.” Thank you Mary Bonnet for shaking that out of him with a well-placed skewer to the ear hole. Therapy for everyone in Season 2!

Part 3??

Someday I’ll make a part 3, I’m not making any promises of when this time - I’ve learned! But I really want to look at Ed’s physicality around Calico Jack vs his physicality around Stede because it’s fucking fascinating. As I said at the top the intro lesson will be on intimacy work because SPICY.

Anyway I’ve written like 3,000 words at this point and I have to stop. Likes and comments really make my day - thank you all for the interaction from part one (which is here if you need it:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/not-she-which-burns-in-it/686892030208638976?source=share

)  And come follow me on Twitter @/shewhich that’s where most of my brainrot content lives these days.