#short texan hardhat

[tf2shit]

Did someone call for a redraw?

[tf2-oneshots]

scout discovers the spiderverse but it's alt versions of scout?

basically across the scoutverse please

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!

Warnings: none!

Rating: General

Engineer wipes sweat from his forehead as he twists a final screw into place. With a grunt, he steps back from his latest invention to do a final inspection. Everything seemed in order. The bolts and welded metals hold strong, and the numbers on the adjacent screen were reading normal. Its an advanced teleporter, one meant to jump entire cities. Hell, states even if he keeps working!

Right as Engineer reaches for his test subject, an apple, explosions can be heard. He turns to the door, eyes widening behind his goggles as a screaming Scout is shot through the doors. The young man is launched straight into the wobbly plasma of the teleporter. Bits of metal and concrete land against the machine, altering its original trajectory.

“Scout—!” Before he can stop it, the machine goes offline with a tremble and screech from the computer. Engineer panics and rapidly tries to find out where Scout landed, but its no use. He can’t do anything! Alarms and sirens sound from the massive teleporter then, with a weak groan, it powers down.

“Show yourself, maggot!” Soldier marches into the destroyed workshop, glancing around as if nothing happened. His search is cut short by an angry Engineer grabbing him by the throat with a metal hand.

“Soldier, what the hell did you just do?” Hardhat crooked from his anger, venom seeps from Engineer’s mouth. His entire project, gone! Ripped from his hands before he could properly test it!

“I was playing grenade tag and elected Scout as my partner! That pansy didn’t even bring grenades!” He chuckles despite Engineer throwing him to the ground. The Texan runs back to the machine and starts his repairs. Hopefully, Scout’s alive somewhere.

Where Scout ends up is his room. Well, sorta his room. He crashed onto the bed, which does have his favorite comforter, and landed on the floor. Still, something isn’t right. When did he buy a poster for the band French Brigade? Is that even a real band? Why are there a bunch of discount perfumes and loose tampons on his vanity? When did he even get a vanity??

As Scout turns to run out the door, he sees a woman standing in the doorway. A woman who looks almost identical to him! The only difference between them being their shoe size and a baseball bracelet on her wrist. Immediately, they both start screaming.

“Get the hell out of my room!” She charges in, ready to beat the oddly handsome stranger into a pulp. Both Scouts reach for their bats, hitting each other on the head at the same time. The act knocks both of them out, and they collapse into an unconscious pile on the floor.

Scout awaken with a slap across the face and ice water dumped over his head. He jerks upright, eyes rapidly blinking to focus on the curious face before him. Its a woman with smile lines to her chin that looks identical to Medic. She steps away to reveal another woman wearing overalls.

“Evening, dearie.” Aside from being British, there’s little difference between her and Scout’s Engineer. They’re a similar height and build, but her prosthetic is on her left leg. The same goes for the Medic. Her graying hair is styled the same, but instead of a dove, a parakeet is on her shoulder.

“I bet you’re wondering how you wound up here. Does this machine look familiar, love?” She gestures to a massive teleporter exactly like the one Engineer was building. Scout groans and nods slowly. His head is still foggy from being knocked out, but everything is slowly coming back.

“I think so. I got thrown into one because Solider played—“

“Rocket tag!” At that shout, a rocket bursts through the doors and lands behind Scout. The explosion sends him straight through the teleporter for a second time. Scout lets out a scream as he gets sent to yet another dimension.

Now, Scout is plummeting through the sky. He screams again, eyes squeezed shut in preparation for the deadly impact. So, this is how he dies? Far away from gis friends and family, no way of ever getting back. Hopefully, he splatters somewhere dignified.

“Falling flan!” A flash of light, and Scout lands on a squishy, sweet smelling surface. It’s a giant flan! He stands, slipping a bit before finding his balance. As he looks around, a figure lands behind him. Its him…sorta. This Scout is wearing one of those magical girl costumes Pyro’s shows always have.

A giant red ribbon is tied around his torso, and the layered dress is white with red and pink accents. His curling black hair holds pink bows that match the delicate gloves on his hands and the ankle boots on his feet. The entire outfit is the girliest thing Scout has ever seen!

“That was close! How’d you get so high in the sky, stranger?” Before Scout can even utter a word, his body turns transparent. Like the crackling static of TV, he flickers before disappearing entirely. It leaves the heroic Scout confused as he slides off of the dessert to meet with the rest of his team.

Every time Scout lands, he’s met with another version of himself. Girl versions, ugly versions, that one Scout in his 40s. He even met an emo version! Strange as it was, it does make him consider buying a pair of skinny jeans. The constant flipping between dimensions seems endless until he lands face first in Engineer’s workshop.

“There you are, boy! He’s alive, y’all!” Its Engineer! The one Scout knows! Medic helps him stand, brushing the dust and remnants of flan off of his face. God, it feels good to be home!

“What did you see in there?” Medic asks as Heavy wheels a chair over to them. Scout takes his seat, head throbbing and eyes adjusting once again. He takes a glass of water offered and guzzles it before sighing.

“Dudes, you’re not gonna believe this!��

Hope the wait was worth it!! -H

[fandomandangstlover]

Ah yes fanfic

~•~

...Engineer is tired.

The fella bring a hand up to rub their eyes and yawned, shaking his head lightly to try and stay awake. The taps of his pencil being hit against the workbench. They barely remembered what time it is...what- what time is it anyways?

They took a look at the clock and gasped, shit, they have stayed up longer then they wanted. It's already past midnight, holy shit.

Groaning, he let his head fall forward and onto the bench, earning a small "thud!" from the impact. He really wanna fall asleep right then and there. He's having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

"Dell?"

...Who is he talkin- oh wait that's him. Shit. Did he just forget- okay let's uh...not think about that.

"hm?" The Engineer lifted their head up at his name being called, barely registering that the person calling is Solly. Turning around to face him.

Of course the Solly isn't in his work uniform, just in a simple raccoon shirt and shorts. Still with his helmet on, not a surprise. He too sleeps with his goggles on and same goes sometimes with his hardhat. The texan makes a small smile at the other.

"hi." He uh...really didn't have much to say. He feels like falling asleep right now and sleeping on his workbench seems good enough. The Soldier seems to think otherwise though.

The Solly have went over to the Engie and looked over the workbench, which was full of scribbles and papers, none of which he understood, and looked over at the Engineer. "How long have you been awake, private?"

The only response the taller man got was a shrug and a mumbled "ah donno."

With a small sigh the Soldier turned towards to the Engineer and carefully grabbed one of the Engie's hands, pulling him up so he can stand, in which the Engie did so. Then he immediately fell onto the taller guy, who quickly wrapped his arms around them, making sure they didn't fell, only being slightly taken off guard.

Silence, for a good while. The Engineer nuzzled onto the Solly's chest, his eyes closed, being of course covered by his goggles. The Soldier looked down at the texan for a long moment before sighing and bringing a hand up to lift his face up at him, a finger lightly tapping his goggles.

"Can I take these off?" Soldier asks, slightly moving the other's goggles up a bit. Engie let out a small hum and slowly nodded, leaning in his hand a bit more, the Soldier smiling at that small yet adorable reaction.

Jane carefully removed the goggles and pushed it down so it takes around his neck, Dell opening his eyes again and looked up at Jane for a moment, before going back to closing his eyes and laying his head against the other's chest. The Soldier let out a small chuckle.

The two stayed silent for a bit more before the Solly picked up the Engineer and turned to leave the room. Dell mumbling something and wrapping his arms around the taller man, resting his head against his shoulder. The Soldier paused before smiling and leave a small smooch on the Engie's forehead before finally leaving the workshop, which was the room that they were in.

~•~

Hm...h m . . .

[scalproie]

Pick a favorite TF2 merc? Or do all 9, if you're feeling it.

Oh Im gonna do all 9 lets fucking go.

Scout:

So this guy. Not to accidentaly Meet The Scout but i dont even know where to start with him. Dont let the fact that hes the youngest of the mercs distract you that he is Just Some Guy and I mean this with the most affection I can. That one post wasnt lying, he CAN be any white guy you want him to be. I think Ive met at least 5 scouts in my life. Anyway the best thing about scout is how people draw him in their respective style because this little boston man has the range, babey. 5/10. I know in my heart it should be a 4 but he gets an additional point from me because I like him and he has daddy issues.

Soldier:

Funniest character ever and also really wholesome somehow if you read the comics, has a yell as iconic at the tom one from tom and jerry. doesnt really look that bad either tbh. 7/10 He Makes Me Laugh.

Pyro:

So the suit on itself is cool af and I like how in the... tf2 timeline [citation needed] everyone else goes from "oOooOOOh the Pyro is SO scary" to "This is everyone's little sibling now". 5/10. Schrödinger's attractiveness. But dont get me wrong the Pyro is so fucking cool.

Heavy:

8/10. I love heavy. REALLY love how actually wholesome he is with his friends and family in the comics. He has the looks yeah sure but he most importantly has the SMARTS

Demoman:

Okay objectively. Demo is the handsomest of the mercs. Like you know that one scene in the mann vs machine trailer where the camera focus on his face for a second while hes preparing to aim at the oncoming robots? Yeah. Also he's scottish and that add an additional point. 9/10

Engineer:

So first you look at engineer you're like "oh this is a fun little texan guy who sounds nice in both sense of the word, he's polite and everything. How silly looking he is with that hardhat and those googles :)" and then BAM he takes THOSE off and you're like "oh this is a pretty little texan man😳 AND he's polite."

(Note that he also get a beard at one point but I cant show it because ive already reached the picture limit)

anyway 8/10, short king babey.

Medic:

It is with a heavy (heh) heart that I must say that Im immune to this man😔. I know he mightve kickstart the whole "evil scientist" business in terms of general vibes and batshit insanity but I cant get into it. He IS cool but im blaming overexposure. Still extremely fun when played off with others, but alas not for me. 6/10

Sniper:

What he lost in attractiveness he made up in relatability when I found out he was 26 (and not 28 like I thought he was). He's not pretty, he's my friend sniper :) I could play smash bros with him during a party. He wouldnt go at parties tho and I respect that. Incredible voice tho👌. 6/10, additional point because the way he's drawn in the comics gives him A Vibe.

Spy:

This mf. Listen do I think he's pretty? No I dont. But in typical spy fashion he tricked his way into being my fav because I am physically incapable to resist a good father & son drama and a solid chuck of his character resolves around that. We've all had whiplash during the sudden serious "I've always been proud of you" moment in those usually silly af comics don't lie. Expiration Date was about spy being a dad to scout for 2/3 of it. I like that he's an asshole who cares. I like his character and his role of one straight man of the team. Unfortunately, out of my trio of dilfs, this is the One Certified Deadbeat(tm). 8/10, petite pute💖

[okeymakeydude]

Headcanon: Engie taking care of a baby.

Snippet

"So, ya stole a baby and beat up his father."

"Ye—What? No! It's the baby!"He pointed to a black dot on one of the cheeks." The baby from the radio! The one the parents lost a few days ago."

The parents commented about a birthmark.  Unconsciously, Engie took the baby gently in his arms and watched. He was very calm. He couldn't help smiling.

"I called ´em."

His smile didn't last long.

"This is a godamn secret base, Scout. Ya can't --"

"It's okay dude! I gave 'em the address of the bar we usually go, they'll call you when they get close."

"Call me? Wha'?" He looked at the baby and at the young man again, raises an eyebrow and doesn't hesitate to ask "Want me to take care of him? Son, i gotta--"

"C'mon, yo're perfect!" He interrupted with a smile, couldn't help but have a short laugh at Engie's facial expression. "You're like the mother of the team...! No offense. They don't live far."

He never thought he'd find himself in this situation, he's been through a lot, but this?  New to him. He sighed.

"... okay."

Headcanon

Our hardhat had never been so stressed out, had a small life in charge, yet remained calm.  Didn't want to make the baby cry. He took a blanket and cushions to make a makeshift crib.

He has 11 darn PhDs, he knows a lot of things but when it comes to taking care of a baby, he's a novice, a beginner and that feeling, it bothers him. He doesn't think there're any books about infants in a base.

However, tranquility possessed him when he felt the tiny hand grab his finger and hear a laugh. Giving a look at the baby and couldn't help but wonder, did his father feel the same way? He hasn't seen him in a long time, years, and has only a few memories.

"Ya've been through a kidnapping and yet, very quiet, son."

Would he be a good father? Maybe, who knows. Can't help but smile as he puts him in his arms, Engie had never felt this responsibility, well, he had to look after the team but this was different.

Need help? Pybro to the rescue!Engie´s repairing his machines while they are playing with the baby and leaving him their pencils to draw, that doesn't mean that he doesn't keep an eye on ´em, and more seeing how Pyro lit a match. "No fire in my workshop, buddy, y´know what happened last time."

He´s surprised when sees the child crawl to his banjo, it´s been a while since he played it, maybe could rest a little while doing it. He takes him gently before sitting him on his lap and begins to play the strings.

He'd ask Heavy for advice or help, knowing he had younger sisters. Maybe he knew more about it. His mate doesn't hesitate to accept his request and starts teaching him. For the first time he learned how to prepare baby food (they used fruit) and how to change a diaper (you don't want to know what they used😂).

Nap time. Engie would decide to rest when he noticed the baby crying as he walked away. Of course he wanted to keep working, but even his body was asking to stop for a while. “Just 10 mins, okay?” He´d use a cushion for comfort and place the child on his chest, wrapping his arm around it protectively. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at his little face and noticed the eyes were brown. Very pretty.

Snippet part 2

“Ya're gonna see your parents, boy.” Said the Texan sitting on the bench, holding the baby in his lap. He was in front of the bar where they had decided to meet. “I feel weird in these--”

“Oh God! Thank you, sir!”A sudden female voice alerts him and makes him turn his neck to the right, she seemed to have been crying for a long time.”I thought I'd never see him again! thank you! thank you!”

“It´s okay, ma´am. Don´t worry anymore.” He slowly moved the baby towards his mother.”He's been a good kid.“

No one wants to imagine what it´s like to lose someone, even worse if it´s a child, just to imagine losing someone important, that feeling burns in his chest. He saw how she hugged him, not very strong but her tears made known how much the woman has been suffering. Right now he'd like to know how to comfort.

“These were the worst times of my life, my brother and I were walking in the park until someone stopped us to ask directions. I was an idiot.” She laughed but was choking on her own words. “It was only two minutes, only two fucking minutes, and when we turned around, he wasn't in his stroller anymore.”

The engineer tried to find some words, but what could he say? He never thought of finding himself in this situation, he deals with contiguous wars but not... with this.  He scratched his head.

Say something, idiot.

"Ah... ma'am--"

"Could you tell me your name?"

"Dell, Dell Conahger."

"So, Dell, how can I return the favor?"

For a second he got scared and made a nervous smile as he shook his head.  He didn't want to bother, had done enough.

"There's... there's no need for that."

"I can't just leave!  You saved my son's life. Please..."

"It wasn't me who..."

Then Dell felt the baby's little hand grabbing one of his fingers again, looked at him and their eyes connected.  An unknown feeling attacked him again, it was strange but not unpleasant. He was curious.

"Okay... how about meet up?"

Masterlist

[energonalucard]

A FEM Team of my Own Design (RED Edition)

Usually, I don't like doing this kinda stuff. One: I don't usually share my ideas and I am very nervous. Second: FEM characters are one thing, BUT A WHOLE (TWO) TEAM makes me sweat. The good sweat, but also a nervous sweat. Because I am now sharing a personal part of my brain and my love for woman. Beautiful. Lovely. Yes. 

@medics-secret-shipfic-folder, this is one half of those FEM's I talked about! 

Is this more OC team's then canon gender swap? Yeah, and that's because I don't think that's my endgame here, I didn't make these for a gender bend AU, I made them out of love and from a community of great idea makers. I'd rather make OC's then be another generic half-hearted bending AU maker. <3 <3

Also, this really is just a dumb fact thing as I don't want to give away plot stuff. Fun facts and getting to know them a bit. 

(Yes, I said PLOT) 

═══════❖══════════════❖═══════════

-- RED Team: 

𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘂𝘁: The default FEM Scout you see around. Pony-tail, blonde like normal Scout, Bostonian. Has a bit of dimples but I swear, she'll punch you if you call her cute. 

She/Her. Straight, but an Ally. Or so she says. Nobody believes her.

But something you won't know is how many sisters she has! The answer is four. Four sisters and a single dad back in Boston. While lower on the sibling count then most Scout's she is far more likely to NOT talk your ear off in a large group... but will corner you and chat you a blue streak if your like Sniper or Spy and seclude yourself. Since she has less family to push her to run, she's a slower Scout but she can run ALL day pal. Even Medic needs a break but she keeps going, going, going...

Will beat you with heels/pumps (Spy will have loaned them) if you even offer the idea of her wearing them. Sneakers, pal, are Gods gift to feet.

Right handed, and uses left only to throw a ball or clever. Only. ONLY. 

Once drank Mad Milk. No one saw them for three days. Medic had her strapped to a table. She apparently was found in town on a rooftop at 6 AM after vomiting loud enough for neighbors to notice. She got better, but has amnesia from the incident.

Favorite weapon of all time is the Holy Mackerel, because its freaking hilarious and Spy's are disgusted by it. Also reminds her of her dad only being able to cook fish and roast back home in Boston.

𝗦𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗿: Looks like the canonical Soldier, but her hair is similar to the Battle Bob (https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Battle_Bob) but with no bangs and it barely peaking from her helmet. Blonde, American, and named John Doe respectively. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual). 

Has a thing for tank tops and will wear them around base when not on duty, because she's a very sweaty person and her clothes suffer (and who ever does laundry as well). This was a compromise. Trust the RED Team on that one (Medic approved).

Helmet 100% of the time though.

Bra comes off = be ready for a fight maggot.

Has more lower body strength, absolutely loves the Manntreads. But don't underestimate her running Original. See her on Battalion? She most likely has Rage ready when she pops out of nowhere.

Has no idea why people tell her walking around naked is weird/distracting/rude or whatnot. She's covered up! In jam (Pyro mourns their jam and preservatives cupboard)!

𝗣𝘆𝗿𝗼: Looks... exactly how a Pyro should. Like a balloon bodied Pyro. Yeah, nothing strange here other then their SASS. Dear heavens.

They/Them. Non-binary.

You've only seen these Pyro's around three or four bases in your entire LIFETIME. This walking bag of fire does not have time for ANY bullshit. Loves doing the windup middle finger when someone does something stupid/rude. Isn't really all that serious as they are made out to be but you get it.

Still loves Balloonicorn and cooking even though they act like any other merc. Has a tea set with crudely melted crayons on its outside.

Wanna get BACK here? BACK into THEIR base? Turn around and head BACK son. Backburner and Thruster Pack predator, all day unless the team suffers.

Covers up Soldier in a towel if she's naked. Sows up Demo's pants if she splits them. Engie loves them when they swing by with anything cinnamon realated. Second most likely to do everyone's laundry.

Arsonist Guardian of the Year Award. 

𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: Just like Scout, the typical Femgineer model but this time, she's more chubby then her skinny model on Gamebanana. Her overalls like default Engineer helps her self esteem though. Brunette, Texan, and still a shortie. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual), but leans more towards men.

Ever seen a small volcano of 5'4'' and puffy red cheecks? You've met it, you've angered it. But you ain't staying conscious for long. Not with her weilding a Southern Hospitality just for this occasion.

Has made many comments about making traps and watching unfortunate folk "disappear" from her daddy's old farm. Nobody questions why the cameras in the building have tiny barrels attached to them and a laser sight. 

Has mentioned a husband or at least a male partner once to Sniper. Never elaborated. Never showed a ring or even a smile when talking about him.

Cinnamon and jam enthusiast along with Pyro, and the most flustered when Soldier is covered in it. 

Hair bun is a must unless she ties it flat with pins. Short hair because she don't wanna catch fire. Smells like burnt metal and a dulled oil smell nobody can rinse out of her clothes. Her hardhat is permanently on her head, googles are a go too. Welding smock and overalls in and out of battle.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝘃𝘆: Like before, like Gamebanana FEM Heavy. Brunette (like two of her sisters), Russian, and actually has scars all across her chest if you can see her shirt peak off-hours.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involved with RED Medic). 

You probably think Medic is the one most likely to do laundry since I said Pyro was second right? (I'm not that predictable ;>) Nope, its Heavy. Heavy doesn't like machine washers unless she has to deal with jeans or other thicker fabrics she knows won't dry in under 12 hours correctly (because they fight EVERY day). She washed unmentionables too, and does not make it weird. Until Sniper literally has to answer about why all her underwear is stained yellow, Sniper she just wants you to have nice clean clothes--

You ask Pyro for dinner if you miss a meal or have a diet going on. If Heavy catches anyone not eating, they eat double. Diets? Heavy always grew up with the mentality you ate what you could get, but Heavy is not heartless. Since food types are abundant, she is careful about diets. But she'll still make you eat it double. 

Her girlfriend doesn't eat pork products, so she understands. (Slightly)

Natasha may be her right hand gun but her doctor will always have her heart and soul. Still bought a better bed for Natasha though, but don't tell doctor. 

Once beat a male Scout cause he called her ally Engineer a fatty. Has had to fend off two Scout's from her team's Spy ("Heavy, they had information I needed." / "Intelligence? Bah."). Actually stepped on a drunk Demo's crotch on accident, but did apologise. 

Loves her girlfriends muscles way more then her curves, she has no idea why. But she can appreciation a nice bottom when she sees it. 

Two little sisters, an older brother who's tettering around step-brother, and a mother who's nearly paralyzed from the waist down. But that woman was her light, she did things not many woman do anymore and for that wisdom and learning, Heavy is grateful. Mother also instilled a fear of swatters with a shoe tied to it. Creative, but scary.

𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻: Actually looks like The Demowoman made based on Drew Wolf's own design, but I think a bit more fuller in the cheeks and chin (more square). Scottish, eyes sharp as a sass lass, and a thick as hell skull.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual).

Once cried in a pile of bras while drunk. Not her own. That's how everyone learned about Spy being... more on that later.

Has a father and mother, but both are leaning so far towards insanity she gave up listening a long time ago. Still doesn't back talk them though, she just pacifies them by dividing her money and saying she has many jobs.

Gains weight like crazy, and its not all the alcohols fault. Food is just very heavy in America and since the team is 1/3 American she feels enlarged everytime a meal based around or for the Americans is brought out. And dear god Heavy, bear goes straight to her muffin top. Spy notices her uncomfortable nature when eating and generally tries to swap out their plates (Spy fussing at the chief before dinner saying she needs X on her plate and not Y, just so Demo can keep her ideal self). (Don't tell Demo, she's too drunk to notice it)

Actually will hug Soldier when naked and be like, "Nothing weird about it". Has actually kissed Spy's hand like you'd do royalty as a joke. Has actually spun Medic around in a circle in a bear hug before. 

She's all for makeup, but really, all she can manage normally and steadily is lipstick. At least she can wipe it away if she wants (can't wipe away the pain of stabbing your only good eye with a mascara brush). 

Nobody touches her hair, never. But she likes doing other's hair. She isn't all that good with cutting or styling or maintaining hair, but playing with hair or just running her hands through it is amazing. The body hair on her legs is shaven and so are her underarms, but her arms and "moustache" that Scout notices are well grown out.

Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Laun--

Hair always under a beany, nobody sees her hair until much later. She had it all in one wide french braid. Wait, doesn't she normally fail at braids? How did she get that? 

𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰: (Okay, this is where similarities in the FEM models stops. To me, I don't really like the FEM Medic model as much as I should for OC's so I'll explain Medic as best I can.) Just like any male Medic counterpart and she has a square-ish chin, with curves almost as boxy as some of her cosmetics. But its a good boxy, she's wide with muscle and shoulders to carry injured teammates. Black hair, German, and the creepiest white teeth you've ever seen.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involve with the Heavy). Gay Energy™.

Thicc thighs saves lives. Like, no joke. She is mostly muscles in her legs and torso so everyone assumed she was good at running. Even Scout. Once lifted Demo with ease in her arms and gave Pyro a piggyback ride all at once. It did strain her back and she was slower, but she was fine after dropping Demo in a safer spot to sleep.

Her posture is shit, but she does form corrections regularly, and uses a pillow to cheat the system if she's grumpy enough.

Her teeth. God, her teeth anywhere in blue lighting make weaker mercs a bit dizzy. You've never seen teeth have a blue-green tint like hers, it feels like watching a horror movie permanently set in a blue shaded tint.

Does not eat pork products, and won't elaborate. Will eat beef, but not pork. Maybe she just hates it? Maybe. A diet? Even Heavy shrugs it off now when it happens.

Medic gives the thumbs up for Soldier walking around in tanktops. Naked Soldier is also a thumbs up. All those bras Demo collected once had Medic sorting through them happily. Actually figured out Spy's real cup size. 

Medic has banned Sniper's ace bandage bras. Not in this house, not under her roof. She fits Sniper for personally made bras, Spy bought and tailored. 

Loyal girlfriend. But gayer. Heavy is fine with it, and actually partakes in showing everyone love sometimes too. Since Demo is also affectionate, it can't be too bad.

Push-up queen, but will drop in the dirt in exhaustion afterwards. She only beats Soldier by a few points and mostly runs on spite. 

Has actually stollen all her team's uterus'. What?! She gave them all back later! Just... someone else needed them first. And in a Female vs Female war zone her teammates weren't planning on using them. But they are back now! Well... not all.

Has actually tried to make a Spyper out of an old male Spy and Sniper she used to fight. Both just despawned and targeted her the next day. Sadly. 

BLU Demo's line about shagging Medic's husband always makes her go into a laughing fit. 

Has a ring ready for Heavy, because Heavy is best wife material and loves her dearly.

𝗦𝗻𝗶𝗽𝗲𝗿: (Changed a bit too.) Taller then her Gamebanana model, and god is her face longer and more like regular Sniper. You've heard of laugh lines but the Sniper has frown lines, and the dip in her cheeks has wrinkles from the sun. She has a unibrow growing almost as fast as you can wax it, she leaves it be. So much arm hair. Brunette, Australian (New Zealand), and her hands are big for her size.

She/Her. Bi(romantic), Asexual. 

Never shaves. Never.

She has a mom, a dad, and a big brother. Her brother snipe's as well for RED Team and they have secret mail chains going between them (not so secret, Administrator knows). Her parents don't know she's Bi and after what they said to her brother about him being Trans, she never wanted to figure out. 

Her brother is actually fully transitioned with the help of a Medic who seemed pro-Trans. Of course the doctor waved that off but he had been careful about the procedure enough that they could tell he was a good doctor about all this.

Her brother is the reason she wears ace bandages for bras. So he wouldn't feel bad. She just never STOPPED wearing them after that, and she always reasoned it was because of her broken family and wanting to hold on a little longer. A "little longer" was nearly nineteen years of wearing it to help her brother mentally. Until Medic banned it. Then, she had tailored bras that were strapless but wouldn't fall down. Sometimes goes without the bra onto the battlefield and will tie her shirt off as a makeshift support. She doesn't feel she betrayed him, just... cloth is real itchy sometimes.

Jarate. Isn't... entirely enthusiastic about hygiene outside of basic shower stuff, brushing her teeth, and trimming her nails. Her underwear is clean but since jarate is... yeah, it stains her clothes. Jarate is a lot harder for females to make with how pants work.

Yes, has mooned the enemy Spy before. Not on purpose. Many times. Yes, her pride is shattered every time it happens.

Had long hair upon arrival to this war. She refused to cut it even as her team warned her about what long hair can cause. She changed her mind after the male enemy Spy yanked her around by it and smashed her head in a windowsill. She had her ally Spy cut it after she could stomach letting it be tugged, even for a cut. Spy was gentle, and asked her questions on what she prefers: suits or dresses. 

Suits mate.

(And that BLU Spy was never seen again on the battlefield after a week.)

𝗦𝗽𝘆: (Different from the model ENTIRELY, I really do not like the Spy FEM model at all. But I have grown more warm towards it lately, probably from my BLU team ideas *wink* *wink*) Wears a suit like all other Spy's, and a balaclava as well. Her shoes are as Italian as they come and could take out a man's eye they are so sharp. Blue eyes, sharp chin and nose, and she is NOT a mother.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual)/Polygamous.

Is not the mother to any children at all. She does not need nor want any. Still gets all the men thought. And ladies. 

She actually does not have a uterus at all, she caught wind the doctor had taken something out of her (what Medic doesn't) and didn't want it back. Turns out, she really does not care for the missing body part. Oh well, a Spy's lose is a Medic's fortune.

Has her breasts restricted a bit by a special SpyTech bra that distributes muscle instead of pressing it all against her lungs. She looks like a D cup for her bust size. Is a E cup naturally. Medic drools when she sees the tag on the bra for the first time. Sometimes wears buisness casual around base, without her SpyTech bra and using a normal one for comfort. Attracts Demo and Soldier like flies when she does. 

Cuts and manages everyone's hair. Sniper was her first job, and that was easy. Next was Medic coming in it get a half fade. Next was Soldier to keep her hair barely peaking from the helmet. Demoman was the hardest to convince and she can only touch her hair if she "uses those leather fancy gloves" she always wears at all times while braiding Demo's hair.

That BLU Spy from before? Gutted multiple times over the course of games throughout a week. His score suffered and he was moved to a team of lesser skill. A temporary "fix" to the problem. She still wants to gut him but can't do it outside of work hours as he's employeed to BLU (costing her a contract). But did find him in a seedy city with the mother of his child, and casually reminded him of his deeds out of spite while in disguise. He apologized, but she refused to take it. She wasn't the victim. They parted ways after that and promised to never see each other again. 

Will actually hit Scout on the head. Hand open, palm ready. Right in the back of her head. Stupid American loudmouth...

Likes the Dead Ringer with the stock revolver a lot, and likes being active. Really good at acting like Pyro, its kinda scary. It's probably the sassy movements they mastered.

Third least shameful having no top on. Proven.

Has secret meetings with BLU Spy outside both base ranges. For some reason, even though the ritual of enemy teams Spy's meeting and exchanging whatever they have for whatever they need is long over they both still come out here. Probably to get away from the base and at least smoke in peace, or at least she hopes so.

-- BLU Team... (soon)

[tf2shit]

Back at it again.  got this gem from @sktls-yourlocalraccoon :)

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The absolute agony of not being able to find any content for your fav ship 😔

[tf2shit]

Roleplay time

Luna:...umm..hello every....one

Luna:I'm lu...na but you can call me lu

Luna:nice...to...meet you all

Luna:(laughs nervously)

They really need more friends lmao

[tf2shit]

Emm in 🐑?

farm girl (not)

[tf2shit]

anyone read any good books lately?

(Sorry this took so long….😅)

[tf2shit]

Bored as shit, send art requests or asks about any updates if you want-

asks about either team and/or drawing requests are accepted :)

[tf2shit]

DAILY RED

#99 goes to Ugiene (Engineer) for 33!

33. Could they be considered lazy?

No. Ugiene’s constantly trying to improve and better itself in a variety of ways, it’s never not doing anything on its list. And if it is taking a break, that means the list was finished, and it’s currently writing a new one-

[tf2shit]

DAILY BLU

Second daily blu goes to Emm (Engineer) for 43!

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“Ummm. My ideals of masculinity, is what I’m attracted to...I guess...”

[tf2shit]

Daily RED

#5 goes to Ugiene (Engineer) for 15!

15. how do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Definitely rehearsed. Ugiene is very particular in the way it speaks, especially in relation to certain teammates, usually having something pre-planned to talk about with anyone. Some say it runs on a script, just like a robot.

[tf2shit]

DAILY BLU

#73 goes to Emm (Engineer) for 1!

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Not long, Emm needs to keep herself busy so she doesn’t go thinking about the things that make her scream at night...