#shut up I know she had the implants removed for health issues

[thecreepiestcarrie]

Michelle Vi$age calling she and Gottmik

Top surgery twins

Absofuckinloutely not.

It is not the same MicheHell. You had breast implants REMOVED when you didn't want them anymore.

Gottmik has had gender CONFIRMATION surgery.

They are not the same. You have not walked the same road. How fucking dare you minimise the significance of Mik's transition.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Karen.”

Sorry guys. I have to post this really quick, sorry for spelling errors. Don’t worry about the Drev translations, they arent important

The civilian transport was very lucky.

In fact it was very lucky for a couple of reasons, the first being that it was only their secondary engine which had malfunctioned, not the warp core, second because at least their life support still worked, and three that they were close enough to an outpost , that their S.O.S was received in under a day by a very bored Tesraki, and an overly-talkative Rundi.

Their last stroke of luck might have been that there just so happened to be a UNSC ship passing by, on their way to the same original destination.

In fact, the civilian transport, piloted by some kind of space cruise company, offering interstellar tours, was attached to the harbinger in under an hour opening the doors and flooding the civilians with fresh cool air.

Krill was waiting with doctor Katie on the loading ramp just in case the civilians were in need of some sort of medical attention. He didn’t exactly have much experience with civilians. The harbinger was crewed, in large part, by military personnel and the occasional government contractor, so most of them were relatively professional, and most, if not all of them , were required to go through extensive training and physical testing before leaving their planet.

As the civilian humans disembarked, Krill got a sudden taste of human tourism.

Some very, very large humans, wearing widely unmatching clothing and strangely patterned shirts toddling through the doors with so much excess weight, he wondered how the human skeleton was capable of supporting such an egregious amount without simply imploding and turning to dust. The health implications were absolutely horrendous, and made him cringe to think about.

And if they weren’t big and colorfully dressed, they were rail thin, with plastic faces and puffy lips, the mark of cosmetic surgery done poorly. And with them they brought a hoard of screaming children, and moody teenagers their heads down glowering at their implanted communication devices, though Krill could hardly blame them from their moodiness.

A few more normal humans were there of course, averaging between the two extremes, and dressed conservatively for travel looking absolutely done with the entire thing and relieved when they stepped onto the cargo deck.

“Well it is about time!”

Krill and Dr. Katie turned their heads just in time to see the last human disembark shoving past the other guests and onto the floor, dragging with her two teenagers, one young child and her apologetic looking husband “It sure did take you long enough. And I swear once I have time I am going to be complaining to customer service. I will be complaining to the travel agency, and to the transport agency and.” She turned to glower at Dr. Katie and Dr. Krill,” And I will be complaining to you, whoever you people are for taking so long to show up.”

Krill glanced up at the woman who was only growing closer and closer, ominously looming over them. From this distance Krill got a better look of her badly maintained A line haircut, and her patchy blonde dye job with layers. She had a look on her face that were to suggest she perpetually had something sour in her mouth

Dr. Katie sighed, “Sorry ma’am. I can’t help you, I am a civilian medical contractor, not a member of the UNSC. I am just here to deal with any medical issues that you may have experienced during the malfunction.”

“Of course you’re UNSC, you work on the ship don’t you?”

Katie tried to remain patient, “Yes, I work on the ship, but like I said before I am a civilian contractor and have no ability to help you with your complaints. Is there any medical issue that I can help you with.”

“I demand a refund at once.”

Dr. katie Sighed, “I am a Dr. and I do not work for your touring company either. I am a private civilian medical contractor.” 

“And that was not a medical issue.” Krill added already annoyed.

By this time, the woman hadn’t even semed to notice him, but as soon as he spoke, she turned her eyes down towards him and screamed. She made a big show of falling backwards hand over her heart as if she had been shocked, “What is that!” Dr. Katie frowned, “This is Dr. krill, our OTHER civilian medical contractor.”

“Get it out of here, Immediately! I demand it be removed.” She backed away towards her family, “How dare you do something like this, my daughter has arachnophobia. I demand he be removed immediately”

Dr. Katie was frowning openly now, “I am not going to remove him from the deck. He is our chief medical officer, and not an arachnid. That is very rude, you may not know but it is considered a very offensive slur to call Vrul by those terms.”

“I don’t care, can’t you see what it is doing to my daughter!”

Dr. Katie and Dr. Krill turned to look at the teenage daughter, who, at that very moment looked like she wished to melt through the floor. It seemed that having all blood boiled out her ears in the vacuum of space would be way more preferable to this. Her husband was hiding his face, though no one said anything.

Behind her, the other tourists were looking wildly uncomfortable.

One of the large, colorful gentlemen stepped forward, “Why don’t we all just calm down, they are only trying to do their jobs.”

“Yeah, didn’t you hear them. They are civilian contractors.”

“You mind your own business.” She snapped turning back to the two of them. Behind her, her youngest son had gotten bored of the conversation and had wandered off. As they watched he busied himself with terrorizing the cargo crew darting in front of cargo carriers and screaming at the top of his lungs once he realized he could make his voice echo back to him.

“Ma’am, could you please get your son.” Dr Katie began, but was cut off.

“He can do what he wants. Don’t your bring my baby into this.”

“Mom-” The teenager began.

“Quiet Terrance.”

The boy shut his mouth joining his sister in wanting to melt through the floor.

She jabbed a finger at Krill, “Get that bug out of here NOW before I am forced to call someone.”

Krill watched in detached awe as Dr. katie grew very still. Her lips were drawn into a thing line, and the eyes behind her glasses narrowed sharply brows plunging, “I will not.” He was worried for a moment that Katie was going to flat out deck this woman, but she kept her cool, though her hands were balled into fists.

“I demand to speak with the manager!” The woman began screaming stomping her foot like a toddler.”

“Fine.” Doctor katie growled through clenched teeth, turning to look down at her implant before sending a text. 

The woman looked very smug sitting back with her arms crossed as Dr. katie and Krill were finally allowed to begin their work, going around to the other civilians and asking if they were feeling alright. The big colorful man, with the surprisingly pleasant voice  whispered an apology to them, “She's been a nightmare the whole trip. My wife and I were just coming out to gamble in some of those Tesraki casinos, you know try the exotic food, but she insisted that her son can’t eat any of that and that it shouldn’t be served on the ship or else he'd have some horrible allergic reaction. Honestly it's probably a load of bullshit.” 

His wife placed a hand on his arm, “Herold.” She scolded quietly 

“Sorry, dear. Anyway, you two are doing a great job.” Before looking down at Krill, “Watch out, there are some real xenophobes around these parts, and she might just be one of them.” 

In the background her kid was still making a mess bringing everything in the hold to a complete standstill.

Krill was appalled and almost impressed at how horrible this all was

There was a clattering towards the end of the room, and the group of them turned to see commander Vir, Sunny and a group of other drev walk into the space..

“Zha dah nee to chatahach nehkasi.”

“Zha janaik.”

“Tsa dee.”

“Geesee zha dee.”

“Nin tsa kasish, Chalan.”

“Zha nehrekazi. Zha lad nee gengi kasat.”

The group of them stopped in their tracks cutting their conversation mid go as the kid ran past them screaming, nearly knocking a pallet of crates off balance as he went.

Commander Vir frowned, “Hey! Knock it off!” The kid paused in his tracks a defiant expression in his eyes, and looked about ready to do something stupid. However a group of three Hulking Drev, and one eyeless human was enough  to send him scurrying to his mother, who was not happy.

She marched forward, “how dare you speak to my son like that. Who exactly do you think you are.”

“And who are you?” The commander asked.

“A paying customer.”

The commander looked confused, “Paying for what?” 

“Don’t play coy with me. You now what.”

“I can honestly tell you that I don’t know.” He turned his head back to the Drev “Nijeesh”, and motioned them off knowing this was going to take a while

She screeched, “Stop speaking to them in that language, this is a human ship! Speak human!” Krill an the other Drev looked on in confusion, considering that there were a couple of human languages to choose form, making her argument extra stupid.

“I paid for this tour, and now I demand to speak with your manager.”

The commander folded his arms, “We aren’t part of the tour company, we are part of the UNSC.”

“I don’t care.”

“Ma’am I cannot help you with the tour company. THe UNSC has nothing to do with civilian tours.”

She held up a hand in front of his face, “No, I won’t be talking to you anymore, not until is see a manager.” She snapped her fingers.

A small spark of fire lit in the man’s eyes, “I AM the manager.”

She laughed, barking like a condescending seal, “Don’t lie to me boy, you are too young. Now let me talk to an adult. The REAL manager.”

Commander Vir stared at her mouth open completely nonplussed, “I’m 25.”

“Exactly, clearly not old enough.”

He just held out his hands lost for words for a long moment before, a subtle change appeared in his expression. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, “My apologies, ma’am, we don’t technically have a manager aboard the ship, but this just so happens to be the UNSC Harbinger, so maybe I can get Commander Vir to speak with you.” 

Her eyes lit up hungrily at that. And Krill stared on in wonder and fascination.

“yes , I will speak with the commander.”

Her two teenagers looked up from their shame, and Krill could tell by the wide eyed expressions on their faces, they knew exactly who their mother was talking to. Both of their faces went beat red.

Commander Vir turned walked a few steps turned around and walked back standing up straighter, ‘Hello ma’am I am Fleet Commander Vir of the UNSC Harbinger, how may I be of assistance.”

The woman looked livid, “This isn’t funny! Now get me the real commander now!”

“mom/” One of her kids hissed.

She held out a finger.

“Mom!”

She turned to glare angrily at her child, “Not while the adults are speaking terrance.”

“But mom! He IS the commander!”

She turned to glower at her son, who was brandishing his implant with a picture of Adam in uniform, one of the images used for the movie.

It was time for her husband to speak up, “Dear…. He’s the one from that movie…” he trailed off.

She whirled around to face him face red with embarrassment as he stood there with a shit eating grin, but then, in her embarrassment, doubled down even harder, “Well no wonder this place is so poorly run. You’re too young to have the position you do. Is there someone ELSE more experienced I  can speak with.”

Commander Vir just stared at her, “Ma’am I am the highest power you are ever going to talk to. Even if I was god's secretary, you wouldn't get past the door. Now shut up get your crotch goblin, under contorl and keep your xenophobic agest ass quiet. I am not going to bother being polite to someone who has openly thrown speciesest slurs at my crew.” He motioned to the other passengers, “The rest of you are welcome onto the crew deck for the time being.” The rest of her family members visibly wilted, “Your two kids and your husband are allowed as well, but until you can learn a little respect, and treat my crew the way they deserve, you and your youngest can stay on the civilian transport alone.” 

From where she stood next to Krill, Dr. Katie giggled, “I love it when he gets all righteous indignation.” Krill had to agree with her.

Watching him turn and leave the woman speechless with fury behind him was extremely satisfying. 

[tessishavingabitofablog]

Woman-ly troubles

Due to circumstances beyond my control, my birth control prescription ran out.

Yeah yeah I know, it’s up to me to be on top of my health and deal with things like an adult. But the prescription was from college and I didn’t want to go to the gynecologist. I was scared! I’d never been. And I know that being a 25-year-old woman and having never gone to the gynecologist is bad. Believe me, I know. But I never had an issue until recently. 

So back to the current time. My periods came back. They weren’t full force to start, they were fairly light and only three days long. But as time continued they got heavier. And longer. And I started to notice that my migraines consistently lined up with the start of my period. I was able to deal with them at first, but they kept getting worse to the point of me having to stay home for two days straight due to pain. 

About a month ago, I said enough is enough. I will suck it up and go to the gynecologist. (Also I’m turning 26 soon so I need to get most medical things done before I am kicked off my parent’s insurance)

And I did. 

And it was fine! nothing to be afraid of. I told the nurse and the nurse practitioner upfront that it was my first appointment, and they were more than accommodating. She explained everything before she did it. I was not scared at all. When she heard about my heavy periods and migraines she agreed that I needed to go on some kind of hormonal birth control. She really wanted to put me on the pill again, but I am very bad at taking my medication at the same time every day, and I had issues with refills never being the same medication. I decided to ask about more long term solutions, which would be great for me to not take medication every day, and the added bonus of birth control lasting for 5 years. She had to run tests and talk to my insurance, but we agreed that Mirena would be a good option. She also talked about Nuva Ring and Nexplanon as options, but the ring has to be replaced once a month, and nexplanon is implanted in your arm. Easy to install, but not fun to remove. There was also the patch, but again it needs to be replaced on a regular basis. These options were not the best for me, but they are great options. My sister has an IUD and it seemed like a good option for me. The nurse practitioner also referred me to a few primary care physicians to assist with my migraines and because I didn’t have one. I am a terrible adult. 

My pap smear results came back normal as well as testing for STIs that are necessary for IUD placement. The biggest issue was my insurance. Apparently, my family has not met our deductible for the year. Which I guess should have been expected. We have had a fairly healthy year and thinks like my psychiatrist and therapist are out of network, so I pay for those out of pocket. Which sucks but has to happen. With all that in mind, they weren’t going to cover the placement. I called my parents and my mother decided that we should pay for it out of pocket due to the severity of my migraines. It pained me to do that to my family, as without insurance, the IUD costs $1100, placement costs $300, and then the tests associated with it costs around $40. So all in all, around $1440. That’s a pretty penny. I called the doctor’s office back and they were able to get me on the schedule the same week. They advised me to make sure that I ate a good meal before coming in and take 600mg of ibuprofen before the placement. 

I had a long week of family obligations, including my grandfather’s 40th high school reunion, before the appointment day arrived. That day I had therapy at 11 am, IUD placement at 2 pm, and the Jonas Brothers concert at 7:30pm. My sister and mother were very concerned that going to the concert would be a bad idea, but that was not something I was going to miss. After my sister had her IUD placed, twice, she passed out. One time she had to come back because they couldn’t place it. I went to therapy and my therapist was proud of how I’m taking control of my health. I am too I realized. Here I am, being an adult! Taking my health into my own hands and saying enough is enough with these migraines. Enough is enough with heavy bleeding!

Before my appointment, I took 800mg of ibuprofen instead of 600, since I knew I needed to be able to walk home after the appointment. I had a turkey burger and fries, with fabulous black truffle mayo. I walked into the appointment around half an hour early, as I had nowhere else to be. They had me pee in a cup to take a pregnancy test, luckily I had been drinking water all day to keep pain down and to try and drown out the accidental caffeine that I had that morning. The nurse led me into a procedure room, which was basically the same as any gynecology exam room. They told me the test came back negative, which I already knew it would. The nurse had me sign a waiver after telling me the risks, such as potential uterine perforation, having it fall out, bleeding, cramping, etc. I signed the waiver after a brief moment of pause. 

She had me undress from the waist down, and put a menstrual pad on the counter, as bleeding occurs after placement. After a few moments, the nurse practitioner came in and talked to me about the risks, the procedure, and what to expect in general. She had me sit on the table with my butt on the edge and my feet in the stirrups. She first checked my uterus physically, before inserting the speculum. She applied iodine inside to prevent infection. The next part was honestly the bit that hurt the most, and that was measuring my uterus to make sure that the Mirena would fit. I don’t know exactly what instruments were used, but it was not a pleasant feeling, made my breath catch in my throat. I did some deep breathing and made it through. After telling me my uterus was 1 cm larger than necessary for the Mirena, it was time for insertion. According to her, sometimes the cervix clamps shut after measuring, as it doesn’t like being forced open. She was having trouble but wasn’t forcing her way in. I realized I might be able to help if I take more deep breaths. I took a deep breath in and on my exhale, tried to physically relax my body. It worked! The pain was less than with the measuring. After that, she had to trim the strings and that was all. 

I wasn’t in any tremendous pain and got up slowly from the table. I easily left the office feeling only mild cramping. I stopped at CVS and picked up some thermacare patches in case I needed it for the concert. I went home and took a nap. When I woke up a few hours later, I still was not in any pain, thank goodness and headed out to dinner with my sister. I took some more ibuprofen and was 100% fine for the rest of the day. 

The only time I felt more pain was a dull aching cramp the next day, but that was after walking for 4 miles and trying on multiple dresses and shopping. I am now four days out and am experiencing some light spotting and a cramp here and there. The nurse said that cramping is normal as your cervix doesn’t like being opened. 

I have my appointment with the physician in early October, and I am feeling very accomplished. 

[thisiswhereifall]

PLANCE MONTH!!!

I honestly never would have thought I'd have the time to write this. Or maybe I really didn't because it felt half-hearted and open-ended. Ughhhh, sorry in advance.

A bit OOC, but hey, this is my first Voltron fic and I'm trying to learn the ropes at the moment. I'm a hardcore Plance shipper, so I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to contribute to the fan event.

Anyway, happy reading! I will probably write more for this month.

Keyword: Probably.

Day 1: Illogical

------------ o ------------ o

If Katie didn't know any better, she'd tell people that her mother birthed two sons.

And as much as Matt loves to call her endearing nicknames much to her embarrassment, she knew it was one of the few things that still prove that she is a girl, after all. Not that her biology would change out of nowhere all because she decided to cut her hair and live her life as Pidge Gunderson. That would just be illogical.

But, even as Katie Holt, the girl with long, beautiful tresses who wore dresses all the time, she still manages to question herself. Probably not her gender – she was entirely sure of herself scientifically – but her self, even before she started to roam the universe as if she was just taking a stroll through the local park and managed to fly a gigantic Green Lion who is starting to look more like a pet than a destructive machine of death and lasers.

For one, her parents never let her touch anything in the kitchen.

Frustrated as she was, she had tried several times to convince her mom that she could help cook meals for the entire household, but alas, her efforts were always in vain. She didn't want to seem like a spoiled brat, letting her family do all the dirty work while she locked herself in her bedroom the whole day, tinkering with god-knows-what metal scrap she mysteriously found on her way home from school. Unfortunately, not even Matt had ever helped her sneak into the kitchen.

And so, Pidge did as Pidge would do. She snuck in by herself, with a recipe on-hand and a strange robot on the other.

That night proved the famous theory of the intelligent Holt family: their Katie can't cook. And thus, the theory became a law.

Pidge knew it would happen one day and she'd just give up on her cooking 'potential' at home. What she didn't expect was for the same thing to happen outer space, miles away from home. And she didn't seem pleased one bit.

“Look, Pidge, I really understand that you want to help.” She glared at the big guy, waiting for him to give in. He didn't even look at her as he tossed the alien pancakes from the pan. “But, dude, don't hate me for this, but the last time you tried to cook for us back at the Garrison, you burned the soup. Pidge, who even burns soup?”

Her eye twitched.

“I would have done it correctly if only Lance wasn't annoying me. Plus, I literally have nothing to do today, Hunk. No tech to play with, no Galra device to scan…” She bit her lip quickly, trying not to ramble. Besides, Hunk seemed busy preparing breakfast at the moment. “Fine, I'll just go… do stuff.”

And as she left the kitchen to find something else to do, the lingering smell of pancakes clung into her senses, and she realized that it's been weeks since she last had breakfast. And it's been weeks since she last woke up on time without feeling like she just rose from her rotting grave.

Women woke up early, they say. Not all of them, but they always wake up having enough time to pamper themselves up and get ready for the day. Some of them find makeup an essential part of their everyday routine. Others go jogging to keep themselves fit and refreshed all day. Her mother used to wake up three hours earlier than everyone else, and Pidge sometimes wondered how.

And by 'everyone else', she meant Matt and her dad, because the universe would fight her if she didn't admit that she woke up five hours later than 'everyone else'. Which makes her eight hours later than her mother.

She would just take a shower, get dressed, and head downstairs to have lunch.

On occasions that she would wake up on time for breakfast, Matt would laugh and make a stupid joke about pigeons being early birds.

And no matter how many hours she would sleep, she always feels like one of the undead.

“Pidge. Where are you going?”

She looked behind her, a scowl implanted on her face. She was tired. She didn't have time for this. “My room.”

The other girl tilted her head in confusion, staring at Pidge as if she had seen a ghost. “But you just woke up. I thought you were finally joining us for breakfast.” Allura just had to point it out, and Pidge fought an exasperated sigh.

“Technically, I didn't wake up. I never slept.” She corrected the bewildered princess, whose eyes seemed to go wider every time Pidge shoots a reply. Before Allura could say anything more, Pidge quickly beat her to it. “Because my brain won't shut up. I literally had nothing to do for days and I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, so yeah. I'll just… join you if I manage to find something to do for the whole day.”

“Resting would be appropriate. Your health may not be in the best shape if you keep losing sleep.” Allura's voice almost reminded Pidge of her mother, especially with the worried tone she was holding. But Pidge knew that her mother wasn't with her, but safe on Earth.

And probably depressed.

“Yeah. I'll think about it. Thanks.” Pidge deadpanned, speaking in the most monotonous voice possible before stepping into her room and shutting the door. As if magic happened, Pidge felt her body grow weak with every movement before she dropped herself on her bed.

She was actually exhausted and Allura was right. Again.

Unfortunately for her, the thoughts raged more in her brain even as she desperately wanted to sleep. Pidge was restless and always has been. Not having anything to do, even just for a few days, would definitely kill her. She had too many ideas; too many theories. Then again, she always wondered how other girls, such as Allura, were able to cope with their own problems and still look stunning and beautiful everyday.

Pidge finally let out a sigh. She could pretend to be a boy, for goodness' sake. Not that looking like a boy is a bad thing – she thinks some boys are handsome, and is humiliated for actually thinking it – but, she wasn't one at all. And even if her infiltration worked, a part of her wanted to do something again. Something she hasn't done since.

Katie loved dresses. And Pidge still does.

It was unfair how Allura could still look so feminine and amazing in her Paladin suit, and Pidge looks like an overgrown child with puberty issues, or so she thought. She wondered if she ever wore a dress again on the Castleship, would she still look as pretty? Would she look like an actual female, or a crossdressing Matt?

“This is stupid.” She mumbled into her pillows. It was the stupidest thing to imagine, and why was she even worried about pointless things? Maybe she should just suck it up and drag herself to the dining room to have breakfast with the other Paladins. They wouldn't care even if she didn't, though.

Well, most of them.

“PIDGE!”

She quickly bolted upright in surprise, her vision getting cloudy due to the sudden blood rush. Her head throbbed in pain, and she couldn't help but massage her temples with one hand, closing her eyes and reopening them slowly. “Seriously? Everytime, Lance?”

There he is. Lance had a despicable habit that involved barging into people's rooms without permission and shouting like there's no tomorrow. And he would drag her out, even back at the Garrison, to some weird activity that would undeniably waste her time. And she will never admit how much she enjoys spending time with them. It never seemed bad and she knew she was just being an asshole to Lance since Day 1.

He didn't deserve that.

In the end, he would still do it again, despite her attempts to ward him off permanently. And he will still do it now. “What are you doing? You're going to miss breakfast again! Hunk told me you were there earlier, so come on, Pidge, it's pancake day!” He would smile. He always would.

“Uh-huh. And there are no days in space, Lance.” She smirked when his face fell into a pout. Ignoring the clutter on the floor, he stepped into the room until he was looking down at Pidge, who was still seated firmly on her bed.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. But, man, you look like you're dead! But you're awake today, and I am not passing up this opportunity to have you fed properly, now let's go.” Before Pidge could protest, Lance was already dragging her towards the door. There was no point in resisting. Lance always wins.

“Hate to break it to you, Lance, but someone mysteriously brings food to my room even while I'm asleep, so I'd still get to eat even without actually having to walk halfway across the Castle to grab food.” She clearly told him, snapping her mouth shut immediately. Hopefully, she didn't say anything that hurt him.

Pidge hated it. Other girls are more sensitive; more understanding. She was a demon spawn with anger issues. It was why she always argued with Keith. She didn't like that about herself – the emotional part of her.

Lance continued walking, no longer holding her arm since she was willingly walking with him, and sighed. The gesture alarmed Pidge even more than she had expected it to. Did she hurt him? The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt Lance.

What?

Pidge cleared her throat, trying to remove the crawling anxiety she was starting to feel. “Uh, and I didn't think you would want to have breakfast with someone who looks dead.” She shuddered at the image of someone having breakfast with a real corpse. Curse her overactive mind.

“Probably not, but I wanna have breakfast with you, though.”

Ba-dump.

And damn it. Damn him. He always does that.

Every single time he does that, Pidge's questions and doubts flow out of her brain all of the sudden and vanish in thin air. Every time, she would positively announce to the edges of the universe that she was, indeed, a girl. A teenage girl with rampaging emotions and feelings. Why does he always do that? She didn't know, and she didn't want to know. Lance was an idiot. A big idiot who was too sweet for his own good. He would do that. He always does that.

He would say something or do something stupidly sweet and act as if he didn't just do it. Or maybe he's too crazy stupid to realize what he's doing. What he's doing to her.

The walk to the kitchen had never felt so long.

“Oh, you guys are late.” Hunk turned his head to look at the new arrivals. “Everyone left already. But I still got your pancakes for you.” He gestured to the untouched plates on the table, before picking up the used dishes and going back into the kitchen.

Pidge cringed at the sound of plates bumping into one another. The sound reminded her of when she accidentally dropped all the plates at home back when she was twelve.

“Man, they didn't even stay to see Pidge. Having her for breakfast is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” Lance's voice broke her out of her trance yet again and she felt her face swell. “But look at the bright side! I'm the only one with you so you don't have to worry about having your personal space invaded!” Said the person who is ironically the only one among them all who invades her personal space.

Of course, she hated his obliviousness. Oh, she hated him so much.

She realized right then and there that he missed breakfast just to fetch her from her bedroom. Ba-dump.

Ah, dammit, Lance.

“Oh, well, I know you wouldn't want me to be the one stuck with you, so I should probably go.” Lance continued talking as he gestured her to sit.

Dammit, indeed.

“But I won't.”

Oh, crap. He did it again.

“In fact, I'll stay and keep bugging you until you end me yourself.” A chuckle.

He always does that.

And he always will.

[newlondonlamb]

Some Needed Time Away

Post written by Kathy Lamb on April 29, 2019.

I’m sitting in Mt. Pleasant (Charleston), South Carolina in the condo of some great friends. They have always been so generous to allow others the use of this place! Joe and I flew here last Wednesday night and have been enjoying the sunshine, warmth and time to just be. I’m using it to process all that has happened over the last five months since my diagnosis of breast cancer.

To finish from my previous blog post, I had written that I was diagnosed on November 7, 2018, I had my first surgery on December 6, 2018, my second surgery – a re-excision to remove more cancer on January 8, 2019, and since that still wasn’t enough, my third surgery was February 11, 2019. My third surgery I opted for a mastectomy of my right breast and an axillary lymph node dissection. We were so relieved that this was my decision as the pathology report showed a rather large area of cancer still in the tissue, as well as one additional lymph node with cancer. During that third surgery, my plastic surgeon placed an expander intended to be filled over several months with saline in order to stretch the skin and prepare it for a future surgery where I will have the expander removed and a silicone implant with fat grafting put in its place.

At the same time, I was going through my many surgeries and recoveries, my mom continued to get weaker and sicker. She had been with us over Christmas and was obviously not improving. Joe had many tests run with no definitive answers. She insisted on going back home, but she needed to have someone with her 24/7 as she couldn’t take care of her basic needs. When she fell again one evening, she was admitted to the hospital in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. Her kidney function up until this point had tested normal, but this time it was evident she had failing kidneys and was transferred to Wausau hospital for further evaluation, testing, and treatment. Her kidneys were shutting down and her breathing became labored as her lungs filled with fluid. Finally, a nephrologist ordered a kidney biopsy which came back showing she had a rare autoimmune disease called ANCA vasculitis. She was put on a ventilator and started on dialysis. I was able to see her after my second surgery and was certain she wasn’t going to live through this. She was sedated, pale, and all her tissues were swollen with fluid. We prayed over her and for her as often as possible. I guess it was a distraction from my own health issues. My sister, Julie, was up from San Antonio to be with mom when I couldn’t be. She was amazing as she cared for mom, waded through the maze of medical jargon and procedures and fought for the best care to be given. She so wanted to be with me as I went through surgeries, as she had been diagnosed and underwent treatments for breast cancer two years prior to me. God knew Julie was most needed by mom’s side. She gave up five weeks to be in Wisconsin, all while trying to stay on top of her job as a realtor/property manager with her husband.

Mom wasn’t improving with the dialysis in Wausau and needed to receive hemapheresis as well as dialysis. She was transferred on a ventilator to Marshfield hospital. Leaving her there to return home for my third surgery was heart-wrenching! Would I see my mom alive again? I pleaded with God to spare her life.

Our lives have been so greatly impacted by these two diseases — breast cancer and ANCA vasculitis. Yet God still holds us closely! Just typing this up — the memories have me in tears—tears of pain for all we’ve been through, tears of thankfulness that God has seen fit to spare my mom’s life and mine, tears of love for my dear husband who amazes me more and more each day with his strength and wisdom, and love for my sister who sacrificed a lot to be here for many weeks caring for us all!

But I need to be honest….I’m struggling! I love being away on vacation with Joe! I love the fact that it is the first full week since November without a doctors appointment! I love the sunshine and warmth and chance to see my niece and her family and our dear friends and their littles here in Charleston! Yet God and I are in a wrestling match. I asked Him for clarity on what my problem is, and the word ‘trust’ keeps coming up again and again. Head knowledge tells me absolutely I can and do trust God to have my best in mind. My heart says that I’m not sure I like what that best looks like. I’m stuck in my thoughts all day long and find it difficult to always be fully present. I’m sitting on the edge of depression, yet forcing myself to get out and enjoy life with Joe. Any of you that have dealt with depression know that it usually does boost your mood to just go and do. When we have it’s been just that…great! Yet, once I’m alone it starts again —“Is there still cancer in my body?”, “Will I ever feel more normal?”, “How can my husband find me in any way desirable?”. There are many more questions, such as: “God, can I truly trust You?”, “God, can you give me joy again?”, “God, can you take away my fears?”, “God, can you help me to keep hoping?”.

Wow! It’s difficult to reread that last paragraph—difficult to be so transparent and vulnerable! But I want my journey and my struggles to be used by God to help even one person reading this to know they aren’t alone. God adores me and desires an intimate relationship with me. He feels the same about each of you reading this!!! We must keep in the battle for the enemy wants to seek and destroy what God intends for His good. We must lift each other up in prayer and reach out for support when we are in the depths of despair. We must look for those in our lives who just need to experience the ministry of presence—not quick fixes or platitudes.

Yes, this is a really long post! Way to go if you got all the way through it! My word for 2019 is HOPE and I will continue to have hope for the future God has in store for me as well as all of you! Blessings!

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him”.    Psalm 28:7 (NIV)

“Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long”.    Psalm 25:5 (NIV)

[goarticletec-blog]

'It was made to seem like getting a haircut': Patient says breast implant sales pitch glossed over risks

New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/it-was-made-to-seem-like-getting-a-haircut-patient-says-breast-implant-sales-pitch-glossed-over-risks/

'It was made to seem like getting a haircut': Patient says breast implant sales pitch glossed over risks

This investigation is part of a global media collaboration with CBC News, Radio-Canada,Toronto Star and the Washington-based International Consortium of Investigative Journalists that examined tens of thousands of medical devices and how they’re made, approved and monitored by regulators worldwide.

Learn more about your medical device by searching the CBC News database of Health Canada records.

The ailments listed on Nikki Carruthers’s medical chart read as follows: blackouts, memory loss, fainting, vomiting, thyroid problems, angina, hypertension, heart palpitations, high-blood pressure, migraines, chest pain, ulcers, depression, anxiety and exhaustion that keeps her in bed for at least 18 hours a day.

Carruthers, 29, had barely seen the inside of a doctor’s office until 2013, when she decided to get breast implants. The cascading health issues that followed have triggered dozens of hospital and doctor visits.

“My entire body was shutting down,” said the Winnipeg woman, who has been unable to work since July. “My throat is burning and [it] hurts to swallow. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest when I try to breathe.”

The promotional machine driving the $1-billion global breast implant industry runs on tastefully lit, aspirational images of perfect bodies, glowing testimonials and inspirations from celebrities — but in many cases provides little mention of the potential risks, a Toronto Star/CBC Marketplace investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, has found.

Breast augmentation is the most popular cosmetic surgery in the world, with 10 million women opting for breast implants during the past decade. Most have not reported adverse health issues, and some studies point to high satisfaction rates. Manufacturers stress that there have been many studies over the years that have demonstrated that their products are safe.

A Marketplace producer, posing as a patient who wanted breast implants, visited three Toronto plastic surgeons with a hidden camera to learn how they explain and market the procedure. (CBC)

But Carruthers is among the increasing number of women across Canada who have suffered health complications they believe are associated with their breast implants. They also believe they were misled by surgeons who reassured them that the health concerns of the 1990s were addressed more than a decade ago.

There remains no cause-and-effect directly linking implants with some of the symptoms described, but research has linked textured implants to a rare cancer known as breast implant-associated anaplastic large cell lymphoma, or BIA-ALCL.

Since Monday, the ICIJ has heard from more than 540 women responding to an online callout for responses to the global series of stories on breast implant health issues. Among the 45 Canadians who responded are women complaining of infections, hair loss, body inflammation, muscle weakness, trouble breathing, neurological issues, suicidal thoughts and implant rupture.

The promotion of implants

A review of 25 websites belonging to plastic surgeons in the Toronto area show plenty of alluring images but little detail on the adverse outcomes associated with breast augmentation.

Undercover visits to three Toronto plastic surgeons by a CBC Marketplace producer — who posed as a prospective patient — revealed sales techniques, some of which a leading medical ethicist called “very problematic.”

At age 23, unhappy with her body image, Carruthers came up with $6,300 — financed through a line of credit — for breast augmentation.

It seemed safe and easy. She said she was told little about the medical risks beyond the standard warnings associated with any surgery.

“It was made to seem like getting a haircut,” she said. “He told me there were only very minor cosmetic risks which he would fix in a touch-up procedure should something go wrong.”

Nikki Carruthers explains why she initially decided to get breast implants:

Nikki Carruthers explains why she decided to get breast implants 0:55

The message on the plastic surgery websites she visited were full of promises of confidence and perfection.

Any excitement about her new body was soon undermined by health problems, said Carruthers, who had the implant surgery in 2013.

Just over a year later, she had a second surgery to relieve severe pain in her chest. The implants had bottomed out and dropped too low on her chest.

While informed consent for each separate medical procedure is not actively enforced by the province or a provincial physician watchdog, it is a principle intended to ensure that patients are fully aware of the potential outcomes.

There is no standard script plastic surgeons use to inform patients of the risks. Each physician has their own approach.

‘You do need to understand’

When the Marketplace producer asked about recovery time at the three clinics she visited, the answers ranged from 24 hours to six weeks.

“We can get you out to dinner the night after surgery, we can get you to the beach the next day,” said Dr. Mahmood Kara.

When asked to explain the specific technique, Kara replied: “You don’t have to understand, just need to know that I can deliver, and I’ve done it on thousands of patients.”

University of Toronto bioethicist Kerry Bowman says that response fails to provide the understanding necessary for the patient to have informed consent.

“That would worry me, because you do need to understand,” said Bowman. “Ethically and legally … you have to have a capable patient and she needs to fully understand and appreciate all of the risks.”

University of Toronto bioethicist Kerry Bowman says it’s very important for patients to understand all the risks of any surgery, including something cosmetic, like breast augmentation. (Dave Macintosh/CBC)

The presentation of medical risks associated with breast implants are also of concern.

During the consultation, Kara outlines what he called the common risks of the surgery, such as bleeding, infection and internal scarring around the implant, known as capsular contracture.

But on his website, Kara calls it a “myth” that implants leak into the body if they are ruptured.

Dr. Jan Willem Cohen Tervaert, director of the rheumatology at the University of Alberta’s medical school and a co-author of several studies detailing connections between breast implants and autoimmune illnesses, says that advice is challenged by research.

“There are plenty publications demonstrating leaking of silicone with new implants,” he said.

In a list outlining the risks of implants, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration also notes silicone gel from ruptured devices can migrate away from the breast.

Kara declined repeated interview requests.

Consent forms can be hard to get

At the clinic of plastic surgeon Dr. Martin Jugenburg — known as Dr. 6ix on his website — the journalist asked for a copy of the consent form that describes the procedures, surgical risks and post-op instructions that she would have to sign before making the decision and providing a $2,000 deposit to book the surgery.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to do that for some reason,” said a clinic nurse, though she later provided the consent form.

“I’m amazed that there’s so much pushback on getting the consent forms,” Bowman said after reviewing Marketplace’s hidden-camera footage. “I think asking to pay in advance is very problematic from an ethical point of view.”

More than 10 million women worldwide have received breast implants over the last decades. But some patients have since had the devices removed, saying they have suffered health complications they believe are associated with their breast implants. (CBC)

In a written response, Jugenburg said his clinic does not require patients to pay in order to view or receive consent forms.

“This was not clear during your researcher’s visit, and as a result of your feedback, I made sure in the future there will be no confusion.”

At a third Toronto clinic visited by Marketplace, Dr. Sean Rice spent time describing the implant surgery itself. His nurse provided a lengthy consent form and told the producer she would need to take it home and read it, and then contact the clinic if she had questions or concerns.

Dr. Sean Rice spent time describing the implant surgery itself. (doctorseanrice.com)

In an email to Marketplace, Rice said, “I want to ensure all patients fully understand risks associated with their surgical procedure. I offer an opportunity to discuss the consent form after review to allow any followup questions before surgery. Patients deserve time to evaluate and question a consent from before endorsing.”

Bowman believes time for patients to reflect on the decision they are making is crucial, though there is no prescribed period outlined in college guidelines to physicians.

The Marketplace producer was offered a range of available surgery dates at the three clinics visited: 24 hours after the consultation, four days later, and a few weeks later.

Before-and-after photos

The overwhelming majority of plastic surgeons’ websites contain testimonials and “before-and-after” images that appear to breach provincial legislation and the policies of the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons.

“Where we have been alerted to the use of before-and-after photos in the past, we have held that they constitute testimonials in contravention of the regulation,” said college spokesperson Shae Greenfield, noting the regulator has penalized physicians for doing this.

Last year, the college cautioned Kara for using before-and-after photos in a magazine advertisement.

“Given his repeated breaches of advertising policy and regulation, the [college complaints’] committee was not satisfied that he would change his behaviour without further guidance,” the decision reads.

‘We can get you out to dinner the night after surgery,’ Dr. Mahmood Kara told a Marketplace journalist posing as a potential client interested in breast augmentation. (drkaraplasticsurgery.com)

But prominently featured on his website today are more than 260 before-and-after photos of plastic surgery procedures.

Jugenburg is currently facing a disciplinary hearing before the college, which alleges he committed professional misconduct for advertising methods, including permitting a film crew into a surgical procedure without the patient’s consent, making “improper” use of her images and posting “pre- and post-operative images of her on his social media accounts without her consent,” along with “pressuring her to follow and contribute to his social media accounts.”

In a written response, Jugenburg said the allegations are “denied and being defended.”

The use of before-and-after photos is “widespread” in medicine, he wrote, and the images provide “pertinent information to the public, as patients increasingly perform their own research on the internet, demand more transparency … and more self-directed decision-making ability.”

Dr. Martin Jugenburg — known as Dr. 6ix, an allusion to The Six, a popular nickname for Toronto. (torontosurgery.com)

​Jugenburg’s website currently has more than 250 before-and-after images for a variety of plastic surgery procedures.

Some plastic surgeons shun the practice of posting before-and-after images.

Toronto plastic surgeon Dr. Leila Kasrai explains on her website why she does doesn’t: “Due to the advertising regulations of the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario imposed on all doctors in Ontario, we cannot display photos and testimonials of our patients.”

Opting for an explant

Worsening symptoms eventually led Nikki Carruthers to undergo a third breast surgery last September: This time to have her implants removed although she never received a clear diagnosis that attributed her symptoms to the implants.

When they came out, a discovery: The right implant had ruptured and both implants showed capsular contracture, according to an analysis of the removed implants by Pierre Blais, a former Health Canada senior advisor and chemist who now runs an Ottawa company that tests the devices.

“This type of rupture is common and indicates … material fatigue,” his report reads. “It is not the outcome of trauma or accidental … damage.”

Chemist Pierre Blais analyzed Nikki Carruthers’ implants for CBC’s Marketplace. (Dave Macintosh/CBC)

In an interview, Blais said Carruthers’ right implant rupture, which “broke into four parts,” is hardly unique.

“When you look at the instructions for use for a product like this … it says a rupture may happen,” said Blais. “It’s not really right. They should say a rupture will happen — it depends how long you have it.”

Carruthers said Blais’s findings were a vindication. “My instincts were correct. I was not going insane.”

Since her explant, Carruthers said a liver tumour has shrunk. But she has yet to return to work due to pain and fatigue, cognitive impairment, tremors and autoimmune symptoms.

“I can only imagine how many women are out there right now … having no idea what’s wrong, feeling hopeless and crazy,” she said. “The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it.”

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs “Preparations.”

I’m getting ready for an interesting new arc, I think, so we shall see. I never know what my brain is going  to want to write. 

“Lieutenant, command is yours. Keep the ship operational till I get back. I want low orbit just in case we have to bail out quickly.”

“Yes sir.”

Boots clattered on metal as Commander Vir clattered down the stairs and moved quickly down the hallway. A small entourage of figures walked at his back, “I’m not sure I like this commander.” One of them was saying, “It could more than easily be a trap.”

He sighed, “I know, but the GA wants it done.”

“I would much rather do reconnaissance for a while-”

“And so would I, but the chairwoman made it very clear that we needed to speak with them as soon as possible. I’ve already tried establishing radio contact, and nothing. The only way to go now is the old fashioned way.”

They took a sharp corner, “Tell the council to meet me down in the docking bay.”

“Yes sir,” They scampered off leaving another subordinate to fill their place.

Most of the council was already there when he reached the docking bay. Dr, Krill, Sunny, Dr. Adric, Ramirez Narobi etc. etc.” He paused before them, hands clasped behind his back.

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Came the first announcement.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, which means I want at least six marines, and a group from the diplomacy team. I know I’ve been taking lessons, but I don’t trust myself nearly as much as I trust them.”

“Are we sure it needs to be you at all?” Krill pointed out getting to the heart of the issue on first try, as was usual for him.

Commander Vir turned to look at the little doctor on the spot, “The Kree have demanded a high ranking representative.”

“Then lie to them, send down someone not important and pretend,” Krill said 

He crossed his arms, “We aren’t going to lie. Starting out diplomatic relations with a lie would destabilize the entire foundation of what we are trying to build, no we need proper protection is all.” He turned to look at the others, “Any objections? If so raise your concerns now?’”

Sunny raised a hand, “You're Not going unless you bring proper weapons, otherwise, I say we shouldn't meet them.”

“I agree….. And I have an idea.” The group looked nervously around at each other, “No, you are very much not going to like it, and you will probably argue with me.” He turned to Dr. Adric, and motioned hi to follow, “Ramirez get your marines and-”

“Already done commander.”

“Nice and fast of you.” He turned to look at Ramirez one last time placing a hand on his shoulder, “Are these the marines that have…. Uh…. trained with the new equipment?”

Ramirez  nodded enthusiastically, “Yes sir.”

“Good.” “New equipment?” Krill wondered rather suspiciously.

“Yep you're going to hate that too.” Commander Vir announced knowing that he was going to argue and knowing that people would assume his decision was poor. But he had talked it over -- seriously -- with Ramirez, and they had both agreed it was too good a strategic advantage not to. Ramirez had then talked with the requisitions officer and so on and so forth until the package had been loaded onto the ship not a few days before, but that he thought he might be able to get away with, it was this next thing, they were going to hate.

Floating at the back of the group Conn knew what he was thinking, “They’re going to lock you up.”

“Are you exaggerating, or is that seriously what they are going to do?”

The starborn kept silent  leaving hi on edge as he moved forward and into the equipment room. He knew where it was, they had hardly hidden it as well as they thought they had, and he could tell by the nervous movement of the rest of the crew that they knew too.

Ight as well not keep them waiting.

He walked over to one side of the room, pushed a rack of guns out of the way, reached down and dragged the large silver box onto the open floor.

Immediate uproar.

“No!”

“Not on your life!: “What are you thinking!”

Commander Vir crossed his arms, planting himself before the box with feet spread wide. He let them continue to rant, sunny even tried to pull hi away, but he ducked past both of her arms and stepped back, so he was now standing on the box.

“QUIET ALL OF YOU!”

That made them shut up, at least for the moment.

“Commander, we won’t let you.”

“I know.” 

“Than why even bother bringing it up.” Sunny demanded 

Even Ramirez was looking a little put off..

He turned to look at Dr. Adric, “That is why he is here. I know for a fact that I can do it, and not cause harm to myself. I’m healthy enough mentally to manage, but if the good doctor decides that I am wrong, than I will put it down and stp arguing.”

Below him, the Iron eye logo glinted in the yellowed overhead lights.

Dr. Adric looked on in concern, “What is this about?”

Krill and a few of the others turned to protest, but commander Vir stopped them with a raised hand turning to look at the doctor, “You are aware of my time in operation steel eye?”

He nodded.

“And were you aware that I put the armor back on for the burg war not some months ago?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know about the project.”

He laced his hands together before him, “I published a paper on it. I know that it was a volatile experimental pice of technology that the government attached  directly into the spinal columns and muscles of the forty surviving soldiers. Each machine was powered by the steel eye prosthetic which contained the suit’s power source. I know that they used drugs to stop the excruciating pain, and that they added amphetamines to cause aggression and allow the soldiers to stay up longer…. And I know that more than three fourths of those soldiers are dead now and only have of that fourth is….. Operating functionally as people.”

Commander Vir smiled, “Yes, than you do know. IT took me years to recover from the suit, than I went and put it on again, and that caused a relapse in y mental health to a degree that I almost got myself grounded and , likely, discharged. However, during that time I also spoke to a group of people who were working on a similar project, operation Iron eye.” There was a nervous shifting around the room, “ITs the same thing as stell eye, though it requires no drugs, and no pain. The Trade off is, I had to go in for surgery because the attachments are permanent.” 

He turned around and pulled down the collar of his shirt so Dr. Adric could see the first port just below the base of his skull, “I had these done at a time where I honestly shouldn't have, but I thought this was my only option.” He turned back around, “I am well aware that is not true, but what’s done is done. I have the implants, they cannot be removed, and I have the suit. I might as well use it to protect myself. That is the point? To protect myself and the rest of the crew?”

There was silence for a moment.

“We can’t let you do this.” Dr Katie was saying.

Narobi was shaking her head emphatically .

He turned to look at Dr. Adric, “I leave this decision up to you doc. If I’m not mentally healthy enough to handle it, than I will stop, but you are the expert here and the most unbiased among us.” Dr Adric shifted on the spot nervously. He could see where this was a problem. The unhealthy associations that soldiers were bound to make after an experience like that was…. Horrible to imagine, but the Commander seemed calm, so he supposed there was no issue with trying.

He was a bit nervous about all the eyes that his decision caused. Sunny looked like she was about to beat him to death with her spear, and Dr. Krill seemed intent on poisoning his drink the next time he had the chance.

They took the Iron eye box back to the medical bay, and The three doctors observed the process.

Commander Vir was feeling pretty good as he slid back into the box listening to the connections click into place. Were there some bad memories? Yeah, sure, but he could handle those well enough.

Dr Adric kept a close eye on him as he stood the whirring of hydraulics accompanying his movement. He flexed his fist inside the iron eye suit and turned to look at the others.

Krill was frowning. Sunny was glowering , Dr. Katie wouldn't even look at him. Ramirez looked very, very nervous.

Dr. Adric walked over and checked his pulse, asked a few questions, but finally decided there was no reason to tell him no. 

That pissed off almost everyone else in the room, but commander Vir pulled on the specially made iron eye gear, “You wanted me safe, and this is as safe as I can think of being, and I trust Dr. Adric’s judgement.” With each footstep, metal clattered against metal, and the soft hiss of the hydraulics accompanied him up the hall.

THe others followed in concern and anger.

The crew turned to look their eyes wide looking nervous.

They expected him to do something stupid.

What they didn’t know is that he actually had a practicing mental health professional on his side now, and truth be told, he didn’t feel anything really. Yes he could just as easily compare the experience to the steel-eye suit, but without the pain, the experiences were too different.

Reaching the docking bay for the second time. The marines were already waiting as were the diplomacy team.

Dr Krill cursed, “You arent serious.”

“Krill, I appreciate your opinion as a doctor, but in areas of equipping marines, I trust Ramirez more.”

The line of marines saluted as he drew nearer, their bodies covered by their combat ACUs, and each one wearing a matte black painted jetpack.

He turned, just in time for Ramirez to step forward with another, mounting it to the back plate on the Iron- eye suit, where it clicked satisfyingly into place.

Krill and Sunny both looked as if they were about  to have a conniption. 

He withdrew something from his pocket, “Don’t worry, I did my homework, and read the manual. I don’t plan on even using it if this all goes well.” he looked at the group of them seriously, “This isn’t for fun, everyone, this is for the safety and protection of myself and others. I have a panic button ready in case anything goes wrong, and I will have two more teams of marines on standby in low orbit in case something decides to happen. I have the diplomacy team to speak when I don’t know what to do, and I have the marines for a firefight if it comes to that. THe first sign of trouble and we fly out if we have to.”

He stepped forward a bit, looking around at the concerned and angry faces, “I understand you all are worried, but I have thought this through. I have taken your suggestions, and I am doing everything I can to stay safe.” He looked up at Sunny, “I will be equipped in the way that you suggested.” he turned to Krill and Katie, “We have the medical supplies that you ordered in the bags that were placed in the ready room.”

He turned to Narobi, “You sent in one of your best people to service all of the equipment days ago. I, and these men are as safe as we can be.” 

Maybe one day he wouldn't have to explain his actions to these people, but he understood that, in the past he had made a bunch of poor decisions. This time would not be that time. He had thought of everything, and he had talked to everyone else to consider things he hadn’t thought of. He was listening to his crew, and differing to the knowledge of experts. He didn’t pick the team, he didn’t pick the equipment, and he was going to allow the knowledge of others to carry through this time.

Yes, one day he would be able to make a decision without explaining everything, but today was not that day.

He looked around, “Are there any objections?” He held up a hand to cut Krill off, “On the basis of logic and not being angry at me?”

Krill shut his mouth.

One of the floor technicians jogged up, “The shuttle is ready commander.”

He nodded and turned to the marines, “Load up!” He then turned and ordered a second pilot onto the ship so as not to leave it unmanned when they were gone.

In the confusion, he turned to head towards the ship, but something caught his hand.

He turned and looked up to find Sunny’s golden eyes staring down at him. He could tell she was mad, displeased, and even a little hurt, though she didn’t say any of that.

The one day he thought he had made no mistakes…. And he had.

He looked around quickly, and seeing no one paying attention, he took one of her other hands.

The Iron eye armor impeded a good connection but it would have to do, “I’ll talk to you when I get back.”

SHe remained quiet.

“I know…. I should have told you, and you can kick my ass later, ok?”

His smile fell from his face as she continued to glower.

He squeezed her hands, “Back before you can say Adam is a dipshit.” He squeezed one more time and let go turning towards the shuttle and flexing his shoulders with a hydraulic hiss , the iron eye clattering hungrily with every movement