#shut up its my comfort genre susan

[hyungieyoongi]

Spotlight: “Run Away to You” Part 3

You knew it was just a matter of time before someone figured it out.

Your carefully constructed reality was about to shatter.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Former Actress!Reader

Word Count: 2.0K

Genre: Angst + Fluff (there’s a hug and everything there is fluff on the horizon!!)

Series Masterlist: Run Away to You

Premise: You ran away from your acting career one year ago, disappearing from the spotlight without a trace. No one from your past life knew where to find you. On the anniversary of your disappearance, your carefully constructed reality is shattered.

Part 2 // Part 4

---

You blinked your eyes a few times to adjust to the brightness of the morning as the sunlight streamed into your room through the crack in your curtains. Your eyelids felt heavy with exhaustion. Glancing at the clock on your nightstand, you let out an audible groan at the time. It was 9:30 a.m., meaning you had slept for four short hours, your brain and restless thoughts refusing to let you sleep until the early hours of the morning.  

After you were finally able to stop the onslaught of tears last night, you sat with Marianne on your carpet and told her everything that happened: colliding with Yoongi at the corner store, the fight in your apartment, and how he comforted you during your panic attack. When she asked about the phone call from your old number, you simply played her the last voicemail Yoongi left you, letting his words sink in on their own.

“Shit,” Marianne breathed out.

“Tell me about it,” you agreed.

Your head was pounding, making you feel like you were suffering a hangover this morning from the lack of sleep combined with the many tears you cried. You went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, hoping the scalding hot water would burn away the memories of everything that had transpired.

You decided to avoid looking at either one of your phones, old or new, when you got out and dressed. Instead, you decided to try and convince your neighbor to let you take her dog on a walk. You desperately needed some company and fresh air to clear your head.

Donning the black hat on the hook by the door this time, you locked the door behind you. At the end of the hallway, you spotted your neighbor holding her little black pug in her arms, peering slightly over the railing at the end that looked out onto the sidewalk and street below.

“Hi there, good morning! What’s going on?” you asked, hoping your attempt at cheerfulness was convincing.

“You have to see this. There are cameras all over the place! The landlord had to come to shoo them from the stairwell and elevator this morning. Apparently, someone famous was sighted here yesterday, and now they’re looking for someone they say lives here? It’s quite the scene down there,” Susan let her pug down as she told you the news. He came bounding over to you, expecting to be showered with cuddles and kisses. Instead, you stood frozen in place, taking in everything Susan had just said.

“Cameras? There are cameras down there? In front of the building?” you asked.

“Yes, dear, isn’t that strange? I wonder if we have a celebrity in our midst!”

You let out a cough, giving Susan a fake excuse that you forgot a jacket so you could leave, ignoring her pug yapping at you for attention.

You were back in your apartment before Susan could question your odd behavior, grabbing your phone that you blatantly ignored when you woke up this morning.

You opened Twitter, going straight to the trending page.

The picture at the top of the list was blurry, but you could clearly make out two figures. It was a picture of you and Yoongi, walking to your apartment from the store. It looked like it had been taken on a phone camera, probably from the park across the street. Someone had to have recognized Yoongi, and now, there were cameras outside your apartment complex.

The picture causing a frenzy didn’t show your face, your hair covering your profile. You scrolled rapidly through some of the comments, people speculating about who the “mystery girl” was that Yoongi was with yesterday.

You knew it was just a matter of time before someone figured it out.

Your carefully constructed reality was about to shatter.

---

Yoongi’s phone was vibrating nonstop on the bed next to him. He tried to ignore it, shoving his face further under the thick comforter, hoping whoever was trying to reach him would just give up eventually.

When it started to vibrate incessantly once again, he finally glanced at the screen, fully prepared to yell at whoever woke him up.

An old picture of you filled his screen, one that Yoongi took when you first started seeing each other. You had fallen asleep on his shoulder after a long day of filming. You looked so at peace, one of his sweaters that you stole from his closet wrapped around your frame. He had snapped a photo, setting it as your contact photo, smiling at it every time you called.

He had never changed it.

Yoongi immediately sat up when he realized you were calling. He assumed he would never hear from you again, that the chapter between you two was officially closed. This time for good.

He answered on the third ring, but didn’t say anything, waiting to see if the call was an accident.

“…Yoongi?” his heart lurched at the sound of his name.

“Yes?” he asked tentatively, his voice rough with sleep.

“I need help. There’s a picture…of us. Together. I tried to call Marianne, but she didn’t answer. Yoongi, I…I don’t know what to do. I need help,” Yoongi waited, holding his breath, “I need you.”

He threw the covers off himself, already heading toward the door of his bedroom. You sounded so scared.

“I’ll come get you. Tell me where you are.”

---

Yoongi had given you careful instructions over the phone, his voice calm and calculated. You were supposed to wait in your apartment until exactly 10:30 a.m. and head down the back staircase to the alley behind your building. A car would be waiting for you there.

He told you to wear a mask and act casual, like you were just getting into a rideshare car. Be invisible and inconspicuous.

A black SUV was idling in your alleyway. You opened the backseat door on the driver’s side, shutting it quickly behind you.

“Miss Y/L/N?” the driver asked, turning around to face you. He had a kind smile, eyes slightly crinkling in the corners from his upturned lips. You nodded once.

“Good morning, I’ll be driving you to Mr. Min’s location. He requested that we send this particular vehicle because the windows are tinted for maximum security. Please make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” you said, relieved.

Despite the driver’s assurance, you turned your head away from the window as the car passed the hoard of photographers outside of your building. They seemed to be getting restless with the lack of people coming in and out of your complex. You were grateful to be heading as far away from there as possible.

The car eventually reached a gate, the security guard waving the car forward once it checked the license plates. You pulled into an underground garage. You weren’t familiar with the building; you figured that Yoongi and the boys had moved within the last year as their label continued to grow.

The driver cleared his throat to get your attention.

“Mr. Min would like you to take the elevator, the one just there, ma’am,” he said pointing to the nearest set of silver doors, “to floor 16. He will meet you there.”

“Thank you, you honestly saved me today,” you told him with a grateful smile. He gave you another crinkle-eyed grin.

“It’s nothing, really. Give my regards to Mr. Min.”

“I will.”

The elevator lurched upward toward floor 16, and you realized you had no idea what to say to Yoongi. The doors opened, and you were startled when the man in question was pacing in front of the elevator doors, looking frazzled as he evidently waited for your arrival.

His head snapped toward the open doors when he heard the “bing” of the elevator.

“You made it,” he said simply when you walked toward him.

“Thanks to you,” you replied. “Yoongi, I can’t thank you enough. I know this is the last thing you probably expected today, but I appreciate it more than I can tell you.”

If you weren’t mistaken, there was a pink tinge on his cheeks at your words.

“We have a strategy meeting to get to. The label has some, uh, concerns about the photo.”

Your heart sank at his words, but you realized it was time to stop letting your emotions about the situation run the show. You were potentially going to be forced back into the spotlight you had tried so hard to stay away from. It was time to be professional about this.

“Right. Of course, lead the way,” your tone had become formal, sickly sweet and stiff. It felt unbelievably awkward after spilling your heart out to him yesterday. But you knew your place–you were just part of his label’s damage control problems for the day.

He turned on his heel, leading you down the long hallway, shoes clicking against the tile floor. You followed a foot behind him, wanting to give him, and you, space.

In the meeting, you gritted your teeth, your hands balled into fists underneath the table as you listened to a group of label management and the public relations team discuss what messaging, if any, to put out. Would it be better to let it die down on its own? Release a statement saying Yoongi was visiting an “acquaintance”? There were dozens of options they went through. Yoongi’s eyes kept straying to look at you, but your eyes stayed on the clock above the PR analyst’s head across from you.

When they started discussing whether to release your identity, however, you decided enough was enough. You stood, Yoongi watching your every move.

“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but I would feel more comfortable if my publicist was contacted before any decisions are made regarding the release of my private information,” you had worked in this industry, too, and hell, you weren’t going to let these people dictate your life. “As you can imagine, this has the potential to have far-reaching consequences on my own livelihood. It would be best to take no further action until she is in this room with you. Otherwise, I will be forced to contact my attorney.”

The room was silent.  

“Until then, I’ll take my leave. Thank you,” you left with a flourish, the adrenaline leaving you as soon as you made it into the hallway. You didn’t know where you were going, you just couldn’t stay still, your feet carrying you away from the room and the murmurs going on inside of it.

“Y/N, wait,” Yoongi called after you. You sped up, hoping there was a bathroom or something nearby that you could go hide in until Marianne showed up. “Stop walking,” Yoongi’s voice was stern.

You paused mid-step, turning to face him with a blank expression.

“Yes, was there an update from your strategy meeting since I left?” Yoongi rolled his eyes at your comment.

“Y/N, stop, I know what you’re doing. You’re shutting yourself off. I don’t blame you for standing up for yourself back there. But please don’t act like I wanted any part of that meeting,” Yoongi said, defending himself. Your confidence deflated slightly.

“Fine,” you flinched at how harsh you sounded. “I’m sorry. God, all I’ve said to you in the past 24 hours is ‘I’m sorry.’ And I am. I just…this is all…it’s a lot. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon, let alone under these circumstances.”

“My studio is a few floors below us. Come on, let’s get out of here while they figure it out,” Yoongi instructed. He walked past you, but you reached out, hand encircling his wrist to stop him. Your skin burned where it touched his.

“I wasn’t ready for any of this again. It’s all too much, too soon. If people find out who I am, my whole life will change, Yoongi. I-I don’t know if I can handle that.” Yoongi didn’t say anything, so you pulled your fingers away from his arm, expecting him to continue on his way to his studio.

Instead, he wrapped you tightly in his arms, pulling you close against him. He smelled like mint and coffee, and you closed your eyes at the familiarity of it, warmth blooming in your chest.

“It’ll be okay,” Yoongi mumbled, cheek pressed against the top of your head.

Enclosed in the comfort of his embrace, you decided to believe him.

Part 2 // Part 4

---

Taglist: @loveyoongles @agustd-2020 @delacyrose224 @crispychanniee @sunshinejunghoseokie @jinsearthh @alpacaparkaseok @sheebaba @diamonddia-mond​

Want to be added to the tag list? Let me know!

Check out my other work! ❤️

[bonny-kookoo]

Bunny Boy (JJK x Reader)☁️⚠️🔪(💜)🔞 Part 3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere!AU, Stalker!AU, questionable romance, smut, Oneshot

Warnings: (oh boy) Stalking, Obsession, Yandere themes, cute Koo but aggressive, he ready to fight, graphic description of violence, blood, very twisted JK, oblivious! Reader, kinda Stockholm-syndrome Reader?, soft romantic lovemaking, body worship, Dom! Jungkook, Sub! Reader, Handjob (fem. receiving), oral (fem. receiving), protected sex because even with your mind scrambled up in a frying pan we still wrap it before tapping it y’all hear me STDs ain’t cute Susan

Summary: It all started with a hello kitty charm.

A/N:(IMPORTANT) I’d like to note here that I do not condone nor romanticize any of the things depicted in this. This is purely fictional, and only to be seen as a work of art, not as a depiction of real life relationships. For short: if he a creep, kick his balls, don’t kiss. Thank you.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

His eyes had seen the words written in neat lettering time and time again, yet he still read it again, trying to calm himself down.

They were trying to take you away.

Your parents were basically not as financially stable as you thought, basically having the audacity to ask you for money.

He was trying not to snap.

He'd known that your mother was a whore, already trying to safe your situation by digging up information he'd rather delete from his mind, forever scarred with the blasphemic image of her showing herself off to strangers on the web like a cheap commercial before a video starts, desperation being an understatement to describe her actions. Or maybe she did it only for the thrill.

She was a vile and distusting woman after all.

It was quite confusing to think of her as the woman who'd been responsible for bringing you into this world. He had a hard time believing it as he thought about your gentle and sweet nature, pure and caring while this sorry excuse of a human being did everything to play with karma it seemed.

Well, maybe he'd change his name for a day and play that role for her.

After all, she was an impatient woman he'd noticed from her constant reminding to buy obscene photos and short videos of her truly underwhelming body for an amount of money he'd rather spend on a coffee and a small breakfast to share with you, if he was being honest.

Why someone would genuinely pay for content like that was beyond him.

"I dont.. understand-" The female voice quivered on the other side of the line, making the corners of his lips turn upwards a bit as he listened to it, gaining some sort of satisfaction in knowing he'd gotten under her skin.

"Oh but I think you do." He said, voice smooth like velvet as he watched her pace back and forth in front of her admittedly bad webcam of her opened laptop. Living off of her husbands money couldn't be so luxurious he thought, if she couldn't even afford a decent laptop for the things she did whenever no one was looking.

It was truly making his saliva taste bitter merely thinking about it.

"If you think deleting your account will safe you, you're even more stupid than I initially thought." He mumbled into his phone as he saw her eyes widen, hands stalling as her gaze locked with the tiny device on top of her screen. She probably paled, yet the quality was too bad to tell for sure. "Everything has already been saved and will remain in my possession for as long as I have need of it." He stated, and clicked his tongue as she seemed to think of something to get herself out of it. "And remember; calling the police or informing any other authority will only result in you having to admit to your crimes as well. And I believe that isn't truly what you want." She snapped, hitting her table as she watched the camera, unknowing how Jungkook didn't even pay attention anymore, knowing he'd finally caught her head inside his noose.

"How much do you want?" She gritted out, and he chuckled, before clearing his throat.

"Your mindset truly disgusts me." He said, before sighing. "I don't want your fucking money."

He sat down properly again as he looked at his screen again.

"But I want you to do something for me.."

"It's nice to know that she finally found someone who can look after her." Your father stated, smiling at Jungkook who sat next to you at the table,taking your hand in his as he mirrored the gesture, spotting the way your mother tensed up in the corner of his vision, making him chuckle a bit.

"No, really, I am happy I've found her." He said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit shyly, making you giggle at his antics. Initially, you'd been a little worried when your parents wanted to meet Jungkook, not even knowing how they got to know about your relationship- your mother, however, had cleared things up for you, explaining that he'd updated them on your condition when you were in hospital. Maybe she did care, after all. "Right, angel?" He said, and you nodded, smiling with a bit of redness on your cheeks.

Absolutely divine.

"Alright, let me clean this up, You guys can head to bed, its already late." Your father said as he stood up, everyone else following after, when you'd suddenly grabbed Jungkooks plate and empty glass, smiling. Out of the corner of his he could see your mother empty her glass greedily, making him smile even wider.

Greed was a sin to be punished, after all.

"I'll do that, don't worry." You smiled, and he cooed at the sight. You were so absolutely sweet, he was always astounded at it, even though he should be getting used to it by now. He'd never get used to you, however. He nodded, giving you a kiss to your cheek as your father called for your mother, who'd been about to leave the table.

"Can you show Jungkook here where the guest room is? Help him set the bed, will you." He spoke, warmth as fake as her eyelashes as she smiled tensely, nodding towards Jungkook as he followed, comfortable with leaving you and your father alone for the moment. He wasn't a threat at all.

Your mother however, was a different story.

If she'd thought he wouldn't pick up on her dark gazes and blunt lies she truly was brainless. But then again, considering what she did with her freetime, he wouldn't be surprised to find her entirely empty.

Opening the door of the guest room, your mother closed the door behind him, slowly walking towards his back which was turned towards her, hands running over his shoulderblades as he shuddered.

But not with pleasure.

"I bet a young boy like you has stamina, heh?" She said, trying to form a seducing tone with her voice, yet failed as his eyes continued to stare forward, cold as ever as he stood unmoving, even when she came even closer. "Why would you get yourself someone like her anyways? There's nothing about her.." She chatted away, before stopping. "Wha-" She breathed out as she felt something poke her hip.

She was dead inside already, so why was she still up and walking like a zombie?

"You truly are disgusting." He murmured, turning around to hold his hand against her throat, backing her up until she could feel the wooden door against her back, chin pushing itself upwards as she looked at him with wide eyes. "To imagine that your rotten womb gave birth to an angel like her.." He said, eyes still trained on hers as he pushed a bit more, feeling and hearing her struggle, before moving away from her, snapping the knife he'd in his other hand shut to put it back inside his pocket as he opened the drawers, searching for fresh sheets. "I advise you to not ever touch me again if you want to keep your skin intact. It's nauseating enough that I have to share the same roof with someone like you tonight." He said, as he finally found what he was looking for, not caring as she swallowed hard, leaving the room and him alone, but not before running into you.

"Oh, sorry, I.. Uh, Jungkookie?" You asked, peeking into the room as his entire demeanor made a full 180 in front of your mothers eyes, body language suddenly speaking a different dialect it seemed, as he smiled, walking up to you, and leading you inside the room, closing the door with a last warning look thrown at her.

"Please angel.." He hummed against your skin, as you shyly touched his skin, making him sigh in bliss. He'd showered after his encounter with your witch of a mother, yet he couldn't help but not feel clean enough- he needed your touch, your salvation, to finally feel good again, to exorcise the demonic memories of her gut wrenching hands on his back, or her obscene words towards him. He needed your purity to cleanse him again, to give him back his wings you'd granted him.

"They won't hear." He promised, but in reality he wanted them to, craving deep down inside his being to drench the walls in your heavenly sounds, to clean this room of her presence with the help of the pleasure he was giving you. He felt you give into him with ease, smile warm and happy as his fingers entered you, knowing that he could not nestle himself inside you without sacrificing safety. And getting you pregnant was far from his mind.

No, the only thing ever being inside you would be him, and no one else.

You breathed out in sweet euphoria as he worked you with his hand, before dipping down, taking the covers with him as his tongue got in contact with your pearl, mouth feasting on you like a starving man enjoying his first meal, humming in pleasure as your hand found its way into his hair, gently tugging, never hurting.

He highly doubted you could ever hurt a fly.

And you'd never have to, with Jungkook at your side ready to soak his hands in the blood of anyone you wanted to have killed in cold murder, all of it with a smile on his face. He was ready to flood the streets in his own guts just to make more room for your praise and affection inside of him, he'd do it all for you in a time shorter than his heart could ever beat.

Your sighs turned into mewls.

He pushed your legs apart gently, hands reminiscing in the feel of your skin underneath his palms as he put even more effort into his actions, making you squirm in pleasure as your back arched like a feline stretching itself after a well deserved rest as you came undone with his touch, mouth finally parting from you, crawling upwards to your face as he kissed you, uncaring of your own residue on his lips.

You loved him.

He suddenly let out a short moan as he felt your delicate hands touch his bulge, eyes questioning as you silently asked for his permission.

Who was he to deny you anything?

As you pulled him out of his underwear he sighed at the view, your entire body showing off how lost you were with the task you'd taken on, making him smile as he began to help you, placing your hands around him in a proper way and showing you how to please him.

You learned quick.

Slowly growing more confident, you started to grip him with a bit more confidence, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as you suddenly dipped down, making his eyes as wide as the moon before he huffed out a breath, head falling back as he could only stare at the white ceiling when your tongue touched his tip. Your soft lips took him in, inviting him inside the warmth of your mouth as you gently sucked before releasing him again, using your saliva and his own precum as lubrication for easier motions.

He was in heaven.

Of course he'd though about it, yet it seemed almost embarrassing how he fell apart so quickly under your touch, cum suddenly spurting out as he came violently, not prepared to last under such circumstances. He caught his breath, smiling apologetically as he stood up on slightly unsteady legs, reaching for some tissues inside his backpack near the bed before crawling back to you, cleaning up your face and neck with the outmost care as you suddenly spoke. "So, was that.. good?" You asked, and he scoffed, kissing you deeply before he rested his forehead against yours.

"Angel, you just sent me to heaven." He said, making you giggle as he made you lie down, cleaning between your thighs as to not make too much of a mess of the sheets.

His cum stained tissues however, he'd leave as a present for the witch to find.

If she was to wake again, that is.

"I'm so sorry, she isn't feeling well-" Your father apologized, yet Jungkook simply waved him off with a sympathizing smile. You nodded next to him, agreeing with Jungkook that this was simply a bad day for her. Everyone got sick once in a while. "I hope you have a safe trip home, and thank you for the wine Jungkook, you really have taste." He said, pale skin showing to him that he'd seemingly been affected as well. "We'll stay in touch." He told Jungkook, hugging him in a friendly manner as a form of goodbye.

He was collateral damage.

He actually liked the man a bit, noticing how calm and collected he was, even though he had to share his life with a woman such as your mother. He admired him really, for spending his time with her every day, for simply coexisting with her, without feeling the need to end his own life.

But maybe this man had exactly those thoughts he wondered, as he though about the wine bottle inside his car, evidence he'd taken with him to discard of in safe distance.

And as you both waved one last time, driving off, Jungkook only had one sentence running around inside his head as he thought of the witch that was your mother.

"This time, please just stay dead."

“I don’t have much space-“ he said, sitting on the engine hood of his car, patting his thighs as an invitation for you. “But it’s gonna be okay. I like having you close anyways.” He mused, voice low and drawled as if exhausted. You sat on his lap, legs hanging off on one side, head leaning on his chest, craving his warmth like a newborn kitten. He snaked his arms around your form, bathing in your presence in pure feelings of bliss as you sighed. He looked down on you, hand running over the top of your head. “What is it angel?” He said, worry a present undertone in his voice. You played with the buttons of his coat as he watched the sun set in front of you both, twilight slowly setting in.

“They.. won’t take me away from you, right?” You asked timidly, unknowing why this option scared you so much. Those were your parents; you shouldn’t be scared of them, should you? Yet Jungkook had told you to be wary of them, and you knew he was to be trusted- when has he ever been wrong? He only wanted your best, just like he said; he only wanted you safe and protected, and it made you feel oh so special. The pure option that you could be forced to live without him now seemed utterly terrifying, like a phobia you didn’t know you had.

“No, no angel.” He said, smile ever so present as if he’d just been gifted the thing he’d always wanted. You seemed so upset with the mere possibility of being away from him, it showed him that you had finally accepted him fully; you finally were his and his alone. “I won’t let anyone take you away from me.” He growled possessively, eyes growing cold as you leaned even closer to him, making him take a deep breath in fondness. “I’d rather die.” He whispered, and your head shot up, delicate hands on his chest, and an absolutely divine and desperate look on your face.

“Then I’ll die with you! You can’t leave me behind-“ you said, wide eyes looking at him in pure horror of the simple mention of his death, and he chuckled, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear with gentle hands, as he answered you lowly.

“Don’t worry angel-“ he said, his hand resting on your cheek, eyes watching you like a piece of art. “I’ll take you with me wherever I go.” He said, leaning in for a kiss you eagerly accepted, uncaring of how his hands gripped your waist tightly. Dangerously. And you were just as uncaring of his next words that left his lips between heated kisses.

“Even if I’d have to kill you myself.” he mumbled into you as you smiled.

You felt like Romeo and Juliet.

Or bonny and clyde for that matter.

The news should've hit you hard, yet it only left you with questions. You by now had your suspicions on what had happened, yet instead of igniting fear, it only left you with more things to wonder about. Why would he do these things?

Was he this scared to loose you that he even killed in his desperation to keep you close?

Would you one day be his victim as well?

"Angel?" He asked, standing behind you as his eyes scanned your form, noticing how you'd stopped packing your stuff, simply sitting in your old bedroom, on the floor, on your knees, in the middle of the room. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Well.. were you?

And if you were-

For how long?

Taglist:

[project-paranoia]

Live Watch: S.C.I. Mystery Episode One

I enjoy camp because I've always enjoyed analysis and examination.  I enjoy looking at something from all sides, testing it with my fingertips. When I was a child I would sit for hours just looking at something until I had it all held in my mind and I felt like I understood it.  Camp necessitates that understanding the way that imitation and - good - parody requires it.  To quote Susan Sontag - who articulated what camp is so well - Camp is "a sensibility that revels in artifice, stylisation, theatricalisation, irony, playfulness, and exaggeration rather than content."  Because of this camp takes on head to head gender, sexuality, expectations, any sort of defined norm and sequins it up then shakes it down until understanding comes out.  When understanding something there are three major ways to work your investigation - what it is, what it's imitation is - the close but not quite, and what it isn't.  Camp handles all three, to quote again: "Camp sees everything in quotation marks. It's not a lamp, but a 'lamp; not a woman, but a 'woman.'"

Why are we talking about camp?  Because SCI Mystery is some of the best kind of camp outside of drag or screaming about wire hangers.  It deals a lot with mental illness in a way that would destroy a serious show, but in this one "mental illness" is a metaphor for being marginalised and a way to talk about the mouse and cat in the room.  This show is about being queer.  About being gay loudly and quietly, about resisting specific labels and needing them, about the threat of a cure and the blessing of acceptance.  All the messy realities of queer life as varied as queer people. Like Lil Nas X's Montero, you can appreciate the effort without being comfortable with it. While the show's allegory of mental illness when many queer people are still told they are ill is done well and there is reason to the choices and tone, things are said which can be hard to hear.  Knowing they're there because they're hard to hear and have been heard doesn't help everyone.

With all that said, it's also a fun, silly bl drama.  Don't let the analysis scare you off.  While the information about camp can be something to be aware of, all this show requires to be enjoyed is a willingness to be amused and spooked in turns.

You know the drill, spoilers below!

* I have memorised the youku sound, I have a triggered response with it. Not all triggers are bad, this one reminds me of Guardian

* Welcome to episode one where we just leap in!  But don't worry, one of them has a cute earring and they are colour coordinated.

* Watching from youtube the episode is 38 minutes long while most of the others are 45.  Attach whatever emotion you want to that fact.

* The exposition is handily delivered by asking a question which tells us some things, thank you show, I appreciate it

* First episode and he's already giving his partner an in case I don't come back letter to be opened if he dies

*  Wait for me!~  Go!~~

* Slow walk with dramatic music: 1 (don't make this a drinking game You Will Expire) this time with bonus almost looking back

* I've seen a similar shot on Hawaii Five O

* Don't explain what's happening, just knock everything over with a jump kick in some absolutely spotless white tennies

* Running with dramatic music with bonus looking back: Does it count?  We have yet to hear back from the judges

* They leap into the water with an explosion behind them, we are less than 2 minutes in and I love that for them

* At first I thought the boats were making a big heart before I remembered that I am very silly and they are not doing that

* This one is going to be long

* I can see his pockets through his trousers, why are his trousers so thin?

* It's not kissing to dramatic music in the surf if it's CPR

* Each story line has its own intro and that's very sexy of them

* Slow walk/dramatic music: 2-6

* These people are totally goofy and and yet the Seriousness

* Two Weeks Ago!

* The police school bus has arrived to shoo away the crows circling around Dr. Zhan staring (dramatically) at the body

* Sport scar policeman dresses even more unprofessionally than Zhao Yunlan who at least looks like a detective who was jumped by so many criminals he just gave up wearing a suit and went for jeans. Chief Bai's clothes are so thin, I'm under constant anxiety someone is going to tear them off.

* Also several of the cast pictures on MyDramaList look like the pictures your auntie insists taking to send to your other aunties and I love that for them

* Triple axil spin from the victim, the judges are loving it - this is the camp I'm here for

* The dramatic slo mo and music budget for this show was so big, just as it should be

* He's mad because he's angy

*  Master Psychiatrist can tell all about the killer from crouching by the body, it's a trope and this is one of the few places I like it because it serves the show instead of the show serving it

* When you're almost boyfriend is going away for reasons and it's not your decision but you can't go with him because of your job so you're just low key bitter about it

*  "You can't control me"

* The pettiness between these two

* Professional women who worked hard to get where they are still are constantly obsessed with boys according to most cdramas

*The male posturing in those three second has accidentally circled back around to being gay in the way those bro shows accidentally do and I love that

* I live for this 80s-90s police chief perm

* The Pettiness

* I always tend to like doctor characters, I don't know why.  Even when they aren't my favourites I like them.

* She's kind of adorable, I like her (I've seen a lot of this show and every time I say I like someone it ends badly ;-; )

* "the victems"

* If you love Creative English, this is the show for you!

* Chief Bai's crew is trying so hard to get them back together

* Dr. Zhan is so good at psychology he can tell what someone looks like from some tire tracks - this trope is used all the time in crime shows, but they push it a little farther in SCI and it really helps the viewer know what the rules for the show are

* The scene in the psychiatrist's office hearkens back to queer coded villains and the way they're treated in old black and white horror cinema - but done so artfully it's almost invisible.  It's incredibly well done, and the awareness of tropes and types all throughout the series is tremendously successful as much as it's campy fun.

* There's also the trope of someone who manipulates someone into feeling like they've been "purified" and then weaponises them against the "filthy". And of course the fact that the killer's blade is a mirror - that he's killing in others what he sees in himself. This trope hasn't just been queer-coded but has been applied to any sort of physical or mental disorder. Thesis have been written about this trope and the anxiety attached to it. I can't write them better and this is long enough, it's just a small part of the excellent handling of the themes showing up in this genre and I wanted to point it out because it deserves appreciation for the skill and knowledge in the writing.  

* The whole you need evidence vs you're saying psychoanalysis isn't trustworthy feels very much like a coded angry exes discussion

* I love the establishing shots, so good

* He kind of deserved that door to the face, what was he even doing

* Police violence in crime shows is supposed to be a release for the viewer, but many countries have issues with police violence so it hits wrong.  Here it's far more performative in a way that at least has some awareness

* The weirdest phone call, you call someone to tell them something important and they say two things to you and hang up

* The tongue thing, why always the tongue thing?

* When a serial killer tries to compliment you by calling you a carnivore and you shut down the whole alpha male supposition by calling yourself a vegetarian

* At this point I've written almost fifteen hundred words and taken almost two hours to watch 23 minutes

* This is my life, these are my choices

* Dutch Angles

* You could make this conversation about being gay, I have had this conversation about homosexuality before

* Unfortunately while I had it I was on the bus trapped in a window seat

* The conversation didn't end with me saying something cool and everyone clapping

* They just got off the bus to go to work

* The banality of evil, yo

* Her shorts are Incredibly Short, good for her

* "arrest the perp behind my back" that's his job, broheim

* He doesn't ask why she checked behind their ears

* DUN dun dun!

* Slo mo file drop, and of course the file is blood stained and aged

* Chalk Art of Doom

* Chinese word play!

* Caught almost putting his coat over his crush, embarrassing XD

* Backstory!

*  I love all the little character details, I could quote lines I think are funny all day but that would start getting silly

* Bai Yu Tong is marked as clean and having OCD but we don't see what's apparently a huge character trait at all other than the all white, do love that he's good at cooking

* Dr. Zhan: Brilliant!  Genius!  Cannot feed himself.

* Dr. Gong has indifference level 100% which is true and also I love that for him

* I love that Wang Shao part of the team because he's good at making friends, I love that for him

* Poor Zhao Fu: scared of ghosts and dumb and sweet?  At least he has an 8 pack

* Jiang Lin is very tropey except the mention of her nearsightedness

* Ma Han's height 1.7m and legs 1.8m is hilarious and I love it

* I stopped recording the slo mo walks, but if you were drinking along with them you might be dead so I really appreciate you taking time out of your afterlife to continue reading.  We appreciate all our ghost readers

* And that's the first episode!  Thanks for making it to the end!

[notafeeling]

Everything Stays

A/N Heavily inspired by Rebecca Sugar’s Everything Stays, which I’ve been wanting to write this fic for for over a year.

Warnings: past character death, implied heart disease, grief and implications of depression

Word Count: 1.9k

Pairing: royality (Roman/Patton)

Genre: sAD,, heavy angst and a whole lot of hurt, some comfort, bitter sweet ending

Excerpt:

“Well…” Patton pauses, mulling over his words. “I don’t want my absence to cause you pain. Not that I’m planning on going anywhere! I just think that you have so many people who love you, Roman, and a whole world out there for you. You can’t… You can’t devote your entire self and essence to one person, you know what I mean?”

“Not really, no.”

-

He hears a laugh; full of giggles and pure happiness. His heart swells as he follows the sound, making his way past their homely fireplace and cozy couches where they had spent so many nights cuddled up together on. The back door of the kitchen is slightly ajar, and he pushes it open to reveal the garden outside.

There, surrounded by fuzzy, golden light is-

Roman wakes up with a gasp. His bedroom is cold and dark. Big and empty. He raises one weary hand to his cheek and feels the wetness there.

As he realises that it happened again, he curls in on himself, hugging his arms tight around his body in a futile attempt to keep himself together.

-

“You know, Ro, you can talk to me.” Virgil sits across from him in an unfamiliar coffee shop, his voice gentle.

“Yeah, I know,” Roman replies. “That’s what I’m doing right now, isn’t it?” He tries for a smile, but the corners of his mouth are too heavy to lift.

Virgil sighs. He goes back to stirring copious amounts of sugar in his coffee, taking an experimental sip every now and again and wincing. The coffee here is terrible.

But it feels wrong to go to the one closer to his and- to Roman’s house.

-

Around him is laughter and warmth, radiating from the onlooking baristas and the man across from him.

“You come here often?” Roman asks a handsome man sitting in the corner by the window.

“I guess you could say that.”

“Oh?”

“I work here, silly!” The man laughs as the blush overtakes Roman’s tan skin.

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. It’s not every day someone pretty starts flirting with you.”

Pretty, Roman thinks. He could get used to being called that.

“So, what’s your name?”

-

Roman walks through the silent streets, hands shoved in his pockets. He doesn’t know where he’s going. It’s fine, though. He’s fine.

It must be around three in the morning - the drunks have all stumbled home and the sane people have locked their doors and snuggled into bed.

Roman’s heart aches every time he thinks of home and his spacious bed.

So he walks.

It starts raining at some point. The freezing water seeps through his clothes and eventually, his subconsciousness leads him home. When he’s aware of his surroundings again, he’s sitting in front of the unlit fireplace.

He’s been through enough of Logan’s lectures to know that he should take off his wet clothes before he catches hypothermia, but instead, he tugs the cardigan closer to his body.

-

The back door of the kitchen is open again. Roman, distantly in his mind, knows it’s a dream, knows what’s going to happen, but he walks through anyway. His feet follow the sound of his beloved’s laugh.

It’s fainter now. It’s been almost a year, so it’s not that surprising when he can’t remember exactly how it sounded.

He makes it through the door. The fuzzy, golden light he’s grown so used to solidifies.

This is the part his subconscious always forces him to wake up. His brain had never been that cruel to show him the next part, but this time, this time he finally sees him.

“Roman!” calls Patton as he spins around to face him. He has a wide, impossibly bright smile on his face. Roman can still see the dimples, the little crinkles around his softened eyes and the slightly smudged glasses his love wears.

Roman rushes forward and picks Patton up in his arms, swinging him around and around, just like on that day. He puts him down, even though he desperately doesn’t want to. Roman wants to scream at himself to never let Patton go, but dreams don’t work like that.

“Look what I got you, Ro!” Patton says. He grabs Roman’s arm and tugs him towards the old swing set.

No, no-

“No!” Roman shrieks, hand outstretched. As he comes to, he realises he’s lying on the living room floor. His fingers clench in the air.

There’s a knock at the door. “Roman?” the person asks. “Are you okay?”

He heaves himself up and opens it. There’s Logan, black suit and black tie, a crease in his eyebrows barely showing from behind his thick frames.

“Roman?” he inquires again. “Virgil’s waiting in the car.”

Why- oh. “I’ll… Let me get changed.” Roman’s voice is flat. Hollow. Logan purses his lips and nods before returning to his car.

Roman can see them have a quiet conversation, no doubt about him, and he turns.

The door shuts behind him.

-

Everywhere he looks is the same, clinical white. He hates it. And he knows Patton would too.

The chair he sits on is made from uncomfortable plastic and he thinks that if Patton were running this place, it’d be super comfy. There would be bright colours and free candy and friendly staff.

Not like that judgemental asshole who keeps staring at him with big pity eyes from behind her desk. Mind your own business, Susan, or whatever your name is.

The doors swing open and in rush Virgil and Logan.

“We got here as soon as we could,” Logan explains as Virgil immediately flings himself at Roman.

“Shit, any news yet?”

Roman shakes his head no. He doesn’t know why they’re so panicked. Patton will be fine. It’s not a big deal, because-

Because Patton doesn’t break his promises.

-

Roman puts on a suit, then takes that off. He’s not Logan, thanks. He doesn’t want this day to be so depressingly formal. Plus, if Virgil gets to wear his hoodie, then he can wear whatever the fuck he wants.

As he stares into his closet, eyes determinedly focussed on only the right half, he’s struck with the thought that this must be the first time in a year since he actually cared about what he wore.

And it’s stupid! Except, no, no it’s not. He wants to- wants to pay proper respect.

He puts the suit back on.

-

“Look what I got you, Ro!”

There, on their old swing set, is an adorable teddy bear. It’s wearing a red sash and has a little plush sword sown into its hand.

“Remember? It’s your prince outfit from the first play I saw you act in!”

“How could I forget?”

As the memory plays, Roman tries to recall Patton running up to him after that very play. He knows that that was when he first asked Patton out, but he doesn’t remember Patton’s exact answer. He can’t see the crinkles around his eyes clearly, he just knows that they were there.

In fact, the Patton in front of him now has lost his glow. The entire memory is darker, faded.

But that clears up when Patton puts his hand to his chest, frowning.

“Patton? What’s wrong?”

-

Roman grabs his wallet. He should buy flowers on the way there. Logan and Virgil probably already have a bouquet of their own, but it feels like he should have a separate one.

One with hydrangeas and irises and forget-me-nots, contrasted with white roses. Patton had always loved blue.

He passes the kitchen, then pauses. His body has a mind of its own as Roman walks to the backdoor in a daze.

He twists the knob, creaking it open.

-

“Roman, I can’t- I can’t- my chest, it feels so tight,” Patton gasps. Roman rushes to his side. “It hurts; I can’t breathe; Roman, please-”

“Patton, dear, it’ll be okay, let me just-”

-

Weeds have overtaken their backyard. Guilt pierces Roman’s already tender heart as he spies Patton’s garden. Vines creep up the fence and plants spill over the edge of their garden beds, roots lifting the bricks from the path. He eyes scan the scene and he spies the old swing set.

And the bear on the ground beside it.

-

Patton’s grip loosens on the bear as his knees buckles. Roman catches him, lowering him gently to the dirt floor.

“Help is coming soon, Pat, don’t worry, don’t go, don’t leave,” he whispers over and over.

“I won’t, I promise,” Patton chokes out.

One of Roman’s hands moves to gently stroke Patton’s hair while the other grips Patton’s shirt tight.

The paramedics are quick to arrive.

-

Roman’s fingers tremble as he kneels down to turn the bear over. Its face is dirtied and the colour has drained away but-

He loves it so, so much. Even though it hurts to look at, to remember.

He picks it up and carries it out to where Logan and Virgil are waiting.

-

The ambulance ride there is anything but silent. Roman and Patton’s sobs fill the room as the paramedics try to soothe them, try to help. The siren is loud and shrill as the ambulance races towards the hospital.

Then they’re being bustled into the emergency room. Roman’s told he has to wait.

He watches as Patton is taken away from him. If he had known it would be the last time he’d see Patton alive, he’d run alongside him, even if he wasn’t allowed.

But he doesn’t know yet, and he feels so numb.

The double-doors swing shut.

-

“We’re here,” Virgil murmurs, briefly touching Roman’s shoulder. “C’mon.”

It takes a while to get to it. It seems rude to run in a place like this, so they don’t hurry.

Or maybe Virgil and Logan just don’t want to rush Roman.

They can’t put it off forever, though. All too soon, the three of them are standing around a slab of concrete and a small tombstone.

Virgil starts sniffling and Roman can see a few tears leak out of Logan’s eyes. He aches to comfort them, but there’s nothing he can say.

He kneels beside the grave and gently places his bouquet of flowers.

“I hope it’s not lonely there,” he whispers. His eyes sting. He swipes at them and continues. “I miss you, Patton. Every day. And I know you miss me, so… So here’s mini-me.” He positions the teddy bear upright, hand lingering on the fur before pulling away. “Take good care of him for me, okay?”

That’s the last thing he manages to get out before he begins to sob.

-

“I’ll love you forever and ever!” Roman proclaims one night. They’re stargazing in the park Roman had taken them. “You’re everything to me!”

Patton’s eyes soften. “I love you too, but don’t say that.”

Roman had said it as a romantic thing, so he doesn’t understand why not and voices as such.

“Well…” Patton pauses, mulling over his words. “I don’t want my absence to cause you pain. Not that I’m planning on going anywhere! I just think that you have so many people who love you, Roman, and a whole world out there for you. You can’t… You can’t devote your entire self and essence to one person, you know what I mean?”

“Not really, no.”

Patton laughs. “That’s alright. I’m not the best with words and I can’t expect everyone to think the same as I do!”

Roman laughs too.

-

Back then, he hadn’t understood. He hadn’t for the past year, either. It felt wrong to be happy without Patton by his side. It felt wrong to go and do the things he used to do when every step was a chore because it was a step without Patton.

But as he stands up, he understands what he meant.

And he promises to Pat that he’ll work on being happy again.

-

A/N I wanted to try my hand at non-linear story-telling. Hoped it was as effective as I intended! 

Anyway, if you liked this fic, may I recommend Regression Toward the Mean. It’s another royality au (this time patton-centric) with a bitter-sweet ending, inspired by Troye Sivan’s The Good Side. It’s also one of my all-time favourite fics of mine.

Both that fic and this one are odes to something an old friend of mine once said to me. They said that they wished there were more fics about moving on after tragedy or after a relationship (platonic or romantic) has ended.

That has been something I personally struggled, but I’m learning to let go.

[nebulous-frog]

Phil and the Fairy Tale

Summary: Legend says that there is a tower far away from civilization protected by a dragon. A princess is trapped in the tower, awaiting rescue by a courageous knight in shining armor. The princess is preserved by a spell that makes her age at a slower-than-natural rate, so no one knows how long the princess has been there or how old she appears to be now, but the whispers are that she must be a beautiful young woman now.

Word count: 3603

Pairing: Phan

Genre: Funny fluff, touch of angst, romantic ish fluff, fantasy

Warnings: swearing and extremely minor violence

Link to AO3 Fics Masterlist

Legend says that there is a tower far away from civilization protected by a dragon. A princess is trapped in the tower, awaiting rescue by a courageous knight in shining armor. The princess is preserved by a spell that makes her age at a slower-than-natural rate, so no one knows how long the princess has been there or how old she appears to be now, but the whispers are that she must be a beautiful young woman now.

Phil was obsessed. He had heard the legend only recently but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. The story of a princess locked away in a hidden tower, alone and guarded by a dragon, entranced him. Phil wanted to be her knight in shining armor. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone forever, so he decided to set out on a quest to find her.

~~~~~~~~~~

After some extensive research, Phil had a list of potential hidden tower locations and set off on his quest. Along the way, he found a stray shiba inu that he adopted and named Susan. He couldn’t just leave her in the middle of a forest, now, could he? She was just so cute, so Phil kept her for his travels.

One day, he was hiking through some woods when Susan stopped suddenly, staring off into the distance.

“What do you see, Sue?” Phil asked her. She continued staring, nose twitching. When Phil reached out to pat her head, she took off running towards whatever she had been staring at. Groaning, Phil ran after her. A few minutes later, they burst into a clearing and Susan came to a dead stop. “What… the… hell… Susan?” Phil panted. As he regained his breath, he looked around the clearing. It was absolutely beautiful; the sky above was a clear blue, the grass was full and green, a small stream ran through, and there was a magnificent pile of boulders in the middle of it all. “Wow,” Phil breathed.

Susan started whining and shifting from foot to foot. She walked closer to Phil, as far from the middle of the clearing as she could while still being close to Phil.

Phil grew wary of his surroundings. If Susan was scared, there must be something out there. He absentmindedly patted her head as he continued looking around, this time scanning for danger, but he saw nothing. That’s strange, he thought. Slowly, he approached the boulders. They were bigger than he had expected, when he got closer, and had strange patterns. In fact, he couldn’t quite tell where one rock ended and another began. Phil reached forward to touch one and found it to be definitely not a rock, though he couldn’t think of what it actually was. Susan was whining a little louder now, still a ways behind him. He turned to glance over at her. She looked absolutely terrified. He turned back to the boulders.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, jumping back. A great big yellow eye was staring at him near where he had just touched the rocks. “That is not a rock! Shit shit shit that’s a dragon! Oh my god, Susan, it’s a fucking dragon!” Phil babbled, running back several paces. He saw the pile of rocks begin to move. It was obvious where the “rocks” were connected as the body of a dragon, now that Phil knew it was a dragon. The dragon raised its head on its long neck and stretched its back like a cat, although Phil didn’t think it looked at all cuddly.

Opening its gargantuan mouth, it let out a roar towards Phil, who ran to hide behind something, anything. Well this is a great place to hide from a fire-breathing dragon- behind a tree! Yes, Phil, great work. You’re definitely safe now! his brain sarcastically supplied.

The ground shook as the dragon approached the tree, or maybe it was still unraveling its long body and huge limbs from around the cylindrical tower that Phil had caught a glimpse of as he turned to run.

“Wait, Susan! It’s a dragon guarding a tower! That means the story was real and we’ve found it! Oh my god!” Phil looked next to him to see Susan’s reaction, but she wasn’t there. “Susan?” Phil yelled. She wasn’t near him anywhere. He peeked out from behind his tree to see Susan staring down the dragon, her previous fear nowhere in sight. “Susan! Come here! It will eat you!”

The dragon bent its long neck to Susan menacingly. Phil turned away so he wouldn’t have to see his poor idiotic dog die at the hands of such a beast, waiting to hear her yelps of pain as she was eaten alive.

A few seconds later, Phil dared to look again, as the area had gone silent. The dragon was staring at Susan with what looked to be amusement as Susan rolled around in the grass. She got back up and barked playfully, bending into her “play with me I’m adorable” stance. The dragon ducked its head down and nudged her with its snout.

What the hell is happening right now? Phil wondered. Why isn’t the dragon eating her? He carefully shuffled closer to them, not quite trusting the situation yet. As he approached, the dragon’s gaze snapped back to glare at him. Phil froze before slowly raising his hands in a hopefully placating gesture. The dragon began to growl at him and Phil’s eyes squeezed shut, preparing to be burned alive, but Susan barked, breaking the moment. The dragon stopped growling and the animals seemed to have a conversation while Phil remained frozen. A few minutes later, the dragon looked at Phil with a cautious, but not angry, expression. It blinked slowly and scanned Phil, as if judging his character, then nodded once. Its gaze returned to Susan and they began playing again.

“Well, now what?” Phil asked no one in particular. He assumed that he was free to wander as he pleased now that the dragon had sized him up. Looking at the tower again, he saw nothing that seemed to be a door or window he could use to enter. With careful glances at the dragon, he walked to the tower to find a way in.

Fifteen minutes of looking later and Phil was getting impatient. He had come all this way to find and save the princess and he couldn’t just because there wasn’t a door. Eventually, he resorted to simply climbing up the side to see if there was a window or trapdoor on the top of the tower or something as he was completely out of ideas.

As he pulled himself up the side of the tower, he began to contemplate his life decisions again. He had dedicated his time to finding a princess that he hadn’t been sure existed or not and nearly threw his life away in the process, facing a dragon and now being stupid enough to climb the side of a tower lacking windows and doors. He hadn’t met this princess, he didn’t know her at all, and yet Phil was risking life and limb for her. He especially regretted the decision to climb the tower as he had to climb up a ways and then shimmy along the sides to try to find an opening. When he got about a meter away from the top of the tower, he finally saw something that looked promising: wood. It was completely different from the rest of the tower’s construction, which was all stone. This had to be a window. Phil rushed towards it, desperate to relieve his aching limbs from his tedious climb. He saw a handle and nearly cried with joy at having nearly completed his quest. He reached for the handle to open it, grabbing tightly with one hand, and-

SMACK

The window slammed open on Phil’s fingers.

“Ouch! What the hell?” he cried as he shook out his poor hand, dangling from the tower by the other. He heard a shriek above him and quickly looked up to see a flash of brown before he was hit with a book.

“Get! Off! My! Tower! You! Freak!” a distinctly male voice called, punctuating his words by smacking Phil with the book.

“What the hell! Calm down!” The hitting slowed down but didn’t stop.

“Get away! Go rob someone else!”

“I’m not here to rob you! I’m here to rescue the princess!” The hitting stopped altogether now.

“There’s no princess here, you daft idiot, and how am I supposed to believe you’re not here to rob me? I don’t even know you!”

Phil let out an exasperated sigh and exclaimed, “Well, if you let me in and I try to rob you then you can push me back out the window but can I please come in now? My arms are about to fall off and I think you shattered my hand.”

There was silence above him for a few seconds before Phil heard a wary, “Fine. But no funny business. You can climb in and then tell me who you are and what you want and then leave, got it?”

“Yes, I’ve got it. Thanks,�� Phil grunted as he hauled himself through the open window and into the tower.

The inside of the tower was nicer than he had expected. It was spacious and light with a big bed off to one side and several comfortable chairs to choose from. On one edge of the room there was an elaborate system of computers, televisions, and video gaming software. Posters decorated the walls for anime and My Chemical Romance and a Chinese takeout box was sitting empty on a coffee table.

“Who are you and what do you want?” The stern male voice from earlier snapped Phil back to his senses. He turned to his left to see a gorgeous young man. He had soft looking brown hair and amazing brown eyes with a creamy complexion and don’t even get Phil started on the rest of him. Essentially, he was dreamier than dreams. And he was apparently holding a book in his left hand, poised to strike. Phil subconsciously flinched away from the book.

“I-I’m Phil Lester and I’ve been looking for a tower guarded by a dragon to save a princess from a legend I read about on the internet?” The longer his sentence went on, the more ridiculous Phil realized his story was.

The young man eyed him suspiciously. “There aren’t any princesses here, just me and the evil old witch that still sometimes comes to make sure I’m not dead.”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Wait, are you the princess that was taken to this tower years ago?”

The other man rolled his eyes. “No, I’m not the princess that was taken. There was no princess taken. Fuck society. I am the prince that was taken. They just couldn’t handle that a supposedly strapping young lad with years of combat training and battle wisdom would get taken and locked away in an inescapable tower. Plus, what knight in shining armor would save a prince, they all want to save the girl so they can marry someone rich and beautiful who will produce strong children and blah blah blah.”

Phil blinked. He was still trying to wrap his mind around this; all this time, he’s been chasing after a prince? Not that Phil minded that much, this prince was beautiful. “Wait. How did you get all of this stuff here?” he asked, gesturing to the televisions and computers.

“The nasty old witch got tired of climbing the stairs to come visit me so she got me a phone and cell service and wifi. You’d be surprised what a little magic, ancient fortune, and Amazon can do for you. Amazon really does deliver anywhere and so do most restaurants.”

“You’re telling me you’ve had access to a phone this whole time and haven’t called for help?!”

“Not this whole time, obviously, just since they were invented and the technology got semi useful. But yes, I haven’t called for help. My family is long gone and I don’t particularly like talking to people irl so there’s no need.”

Phil was astonished. This man had been here for literal ages and hadn’t tried to escape. “B- but- why? Why would you stay here? How long have you been here, anyway?”

The man shrugged. “I lost count of the years, but it’s been at least 500. The witch put a curse on me so I wouldn’t physically age or mature beyond the age of 21 until I experience ‘true love’s kiss’, whatever garbage that is. I stay because the wifi is fucking amazing and, as I said, I don’t like people. You fall under that category, clearly.” He glared at Phil with his last sentence.

Phil just kept getting more confused. “You are literally a living fairy tale and you don’t believe in true love? You’re over 500 years old and you don’t believe in the magic of love?”

“Nope. It’s utter bullshit. Anyways, why are you still here? What do you want from me?”

“Oh no, you are not making me leave right now, not without you, at least! I just spent so long searching for you and waiting to meet you and I’ve battled a dragon and climbed a ridiculously tall tower and I am not-”

“You battled a dragon? My dragon? You didn’t kill him, did you? Drago is my best friend, you better not have. Oh my god if you killed him I swear to god I will push you out of this window and record your pathetic death for the internet,” the man threatened as he ran to the window.

“What? Of course I didn’t kill it! Have you seen how big it is? I’m no match for it! I just got by it because it likes my dog.”

The man’s head snapped back to look at Phil, pure excitement shining in his brown eyes. “You have a dog?”

Phil nodded. “A shiba inu named Susan.”

“I’m coming with you. I’ll leave my tower and follow you wherever as long as you let me love your dog.”

“Really? You have basically everything up here except a shiba inu and that’s your motivation to leave?”

“Of course it is, shibes are my favorite of all time and they are glorious creatures,” the man said. “Oh, and my name is Dan, by the way, since I’m following you around everywhere for the rest of Susan’s life.”

Phil blinked. “Um. Okay. But we barely know each other?”

“You just said you wanted to take me away from here and now you’re complaining that you don’t know me? You are one strange person, Phil.” Dan paused, considering for a moment, before continuing, “I’ll tell you what. Let’s stay here for a few days, get to know each other and all that, and then we can go off wherever you want as long as I can be with your dog.”

“I guess that sounds alright to me,” Phil said.

“Brilliant! Now let’s go bring your dog up here and I’ll order some pizza if you want and let’s talk.”

Dan walked over to the middle of the room and moved the rug, revealing a trap door. He opened it and began to climb down a ladder.

“There was a way into this tower besides climbing up the outside of it?!” Phil exclaimed as he followed Dan, “I nearly died trying to get up here and I could’ve just taken a ladder?”

Dan laughed. Phil decided that was his favorite sound, although he sure wasn’t about to tell Dan that. “You wouldn’t have been able to find the entrance. The ladder takes us to a tunnel that opens up outside of the clearing.”

Sure enough, they emerged a few minutes later on the edge of the clearing. Susan immediately bounded towards Phil and tackled him with a wagging tail and lots of licks.

“Oi, get off me, Susan! Haha, calm down! I know you missed me but come on it wasn’t that long!” Phil laughed as Susan continued to attack him.

Dan looked on in wonder at Susan and finally reached out to pet her. In response, she jumped off of Phil and onto Dan, giving him the same cuteness overload.

“I’m literally never letting you have your dog back, Phil, this is the best thing ever,” Dan said. He was now hugging Susan as best he could as she wiggled around on him in excitement.

A few hours later, Phil, Dan, and Susan were sitting in the tower again having eaten some pizza. They were watching Wall-E on Dan’s huge TV. Susan had thrown herself across Dan’s lap as he absentmindedly scratched behind her ear and she was now sleeping.

“You know, your tower is really nice,” Phil commented quietly. “I guess I can understand why you didn’t want to leave.”

“It gets a bit lonely sometimes, but that’s what the internet is for.”

Phil nodded. “So, you’ve lived in this tower for hundreds of years. Do you have any animal friends like the Disney princesses all do?”

Dan scoffed. “I am not a Disney princess, you spoon, I am an ancient Prince and I will be treated as such,” he insisted.

“Whatever you say, Prince Dan. Or, even, whatever you sing,” Phil giggled.

Dan gently smacked Phil’s arm. “Rude.”

They continued watching the movie in silence for a few minutes before Phil spoke again. “If you really don’t want to leave, i would stay here with you,” he whispered.

Dan’s eyes widened. “But, surely you have people you love back where you came from. Why would you stay here?”

“Well, like you said, the wifi is fantastic, for one. And, I know I’ve only known you for a few hours, but it feels like it’s been longer. You’re an awesome person and I’d be honored to stay here with you. Besides, you have all of these things delivered to your tower all the time, it’s not like I couldn’t go visit my family ever.”

Dan was silent at that; Phil noticed the change in his demeanor and grew concerned.

“Dan?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit overwhelmed. You’ve been so nice and you’re the first person that’s come looking for me in at least two hundred years, even if you did think I was a princess. You didn’t scoff when I told you that the legend had been warped because I was too weak to save myself, despite being a prince trained in combat since birth. And now you’d be willing to stay here with me, just to keep me company. It’s a lot to take in, especially for someone who’s only been cared for by a nasty old witch for as long as I have. Thank you,” Dan said quietly. “I won’t make you stay here. It’s about time I get out of this tower, anyway. I’ve spent enough time here, watching the world grow without me. I’ll go with you whenever you want to leave.”

Phil stared at Dan for a few moments. “We can leave tomorrow, if you want?” He didn’t want to rush Dan; only yesterday, Dan had thought he’d spend the rest of eternity essentially alone.

Dan nodded. “Drago will come with us, too, right?”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. I mean, he’s a bit big and most people aren’t really used to seeing a dragon. I’m not really sure what we could do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Well, he wouldn’t stay as a dragon, of course. He’s a reptilian shapeshifter. He can be our pet iguana or something. Gosh, what do you take us for? Some non magical weirdos in a forest?” he teased Phil sarcastically.

“Sorry, I didn’t know! Fine, he’ll be our pet iguana and we’ll leave tomorrow. Deal?”

“Deal.”

~~~~~~~

The next day they set off and eventually made their way to Phil’s small flat in London. They stopped by a grocery store nearby to get some food, as Phil’s kitchen was almost empty from his time adventuring.

“…and this is a grocery store!” Phil explained excitedly.

“Phil, for the last time, I know what things are! I lived in a tower, not under a rock!” Dan rolled his eyes as Phil giggled.

“Are you sure, Your Highness?”

Dan punched him in the arm. “Stop calling me that, it’s weird.”

“Alright, Your Majesty,” Phil giggled again.

Dan sighed and gave up.

After retrieving their groceries, they walked into Phil’s apartment.

“Sorry it’s not as big as your tower or anything, and you’ll have to sleep on the couch for now because there’s only one bedroom, but it’s all that I have,” Phil explained.

Dan looked around happily. “It’s perfect, if a little overcrowded with plants,” he said.

They set up a space for Drago and then collapsed on the couch together, exhausted from the journey home.

“I know I said this already, but, truly, thank you, Phil. You gave me a reason to leave and I’m so glad you did.”

Phil gave Dan a soft smile. “I’m glad I found you,” he replied, before leaning in and kissing Dan.

Dan gasped into the kiss, tensing slightly as his brain panicked. He hadn’t kissed anyone in years, so he wasn’t sure he was still any good at it. He quickly relaxed, however, and melted into Phil. Maybe he didn’t believe in the so-called magic of love, but a few more kisses from Phil and he’d believe anything. After all, he was an ancient prince with a pet dragon. Who was he to say what could be impossible?

[itsfinancethings]

January 27, 2020 at 12:08AM

The 62nd Annual Grammy Awards were a teary affair: performers at the Staples Center took the stage below the retired jerseys of Kobe Bryant, who was killed in a helicopter crash earlier in the day. But the night also included triumphs for first-time Grammy winners like Lizzo, who kicked off the show with a jubilant performance, and Billie Eilish, who swept the big four categories for the first time since Christopher Cross in 1981. Here are the best and worst moments of the night.

Best: Alicia Keys’ capable hosting

Getty Images—2020 Getty ImagesAlicia Keys performs onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Staples Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

Hosting awards shows is a risky and thankless business—and despite all that’s gone wrong for Oscar hosts over the past few years, the Grammys are perhaps the hardest gig of them all. Given the behind-the-scenes chaos that has engulfed the Recording Academy, so many things could have gone wrong for host Alicia Keys. An overeager exuberance could have felt alienating to the portion of the music business calling for more diversity and accountability, while skepticism could have weighed down the entire night (see: this year’s Golden Globes). And that’s all before the news of Kobe Bryant’s death broke on Sunday afternoon, sending the Staples Center into a stunned sense of collective mourning.

But Keys rose to the occasion, handling an extremely awkward situation with flexibility and poise. Her impromptu a capella performance of “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” with Boyz II Men was a cathartic moment, and a perfect way to handle a tribute that could have dissolved into insincere treacle. (The performance also continued the song’s powerful legacy as a tribute anthem: Barrio Boyzz played it after Selena’s death, and Usher performed it for Aaliyah).

Keys was equally comfortable commanding the stage as she was doing crowd work; she also nailed a conversational performance of her new song, “Underdog.” After her successful second stint, she’s quickly becoming to the Grammys what Billy Crystal was to the Oscars.

Best: Tyler the Creator’s fiery performance

Getty Images for The Recording A—2020 The Recording AcademyTyler, the Creator performs onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

Grammy performances often skew staid, with rising stars asked to sandpaper over their rough edges and modulate their aesthetic toward that of a much older one-time collaborator. But Tyler the Creator refused to do so, forcing the telecast to go along with his much more alienating and iconoclastic vision.

Instead of moving onto Boyz II Men’s throwback turf, Tyler let them sing the rich harmonies on “Earfquake” and then put them on top of a terrifying, burning set of houses while he gasped and wheezed through “New Magic Wand,” one of the best songs on his album Igor. His spastic dancing, the glitching camera work, his gravelly sweet-sour singing and the terrifying set, perhaps a nod to the devastating fires in both Los Angeles and Australia—all reinforced the idea that he’s not just one of the world’s best rappers and producers but one of his generation’s sharpest auteurs.

He also gave two memorable speeches following his win for Best Rap Album—one onstage, in which he admonished the crowd for clapping too much and confidently steamrolled over the incidental music—and one backstage, in which he expressed frustration about the Grammys’ ghettoization of hip-hop. “Half of me feels like the rap nomination was a backhanded compliment—like oh, my little cousin wants to play the game, let’s give him the unplugged controller so he can shut up and feel good about it,” he said. It was a pointed and all-too-accurate rejoinder.

Tyler, The Creator calls out the #Grammys on their racism when it comes to music genres pic.twitter.com/rzWe2lR3xO

— 𝕆𝕕𝕕 𝔽𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 (@itsOddFuture) January 27, 2020

Best: Ariana Grande’s powerhouse medley

Getty Images for The Recording A—2020 The Recording AcademyAriana Grande (C) performs onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

After disparaging the Grammys last year, Ariana Grande showed the Academy what they were missing by delivering a versatile powerhouse performance of cuts from her album Thank U, Next. She glided through her pink monochrome set with a cheeky ease, pairing old-school demure glamour with bombastic twerking and graceful full-throated vocal runs with effortless rapid-fire trap cadences.

Best: Redemption narratives

Getty Images for The Recording A—2020 The Recording AcademyBrandi Carlile and Tanya Tucker perform onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

The Grammys love a good comeback story, and they gave the stage to two heartfelt and mesmerizing ones this year: Tanya Tucker and Demi Lovato. Tucker, a country recluse who was first nominated in 1973 and last nominated in 1994, looked a bit shellshocked to be on the Grammy stage, but handled her performance of “Bring My Flowers Now” with a steely grit.

An hour later, Lovato brought down the house with the debut of “Anyone,” written after several years of struggle with bulimia, addiction and bipolar disorder and an overdose in 2018. Lovato stumbled out of the gate, asking her pianist to restart the song after a few bars. But the slip-up—after which a single tear rolled down her right cheek—only reinforced the song’s startling emotional nakedness, which she delivered with mounting force. “A hundred million stories / And a hundred million songs / I feel stupid when I sing / Nobody’s listening to me,” she sang. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Worst: The incessant bleeping

FilmMagic—2020 Jeff KravitzSteven Tyler of Aerosmith (C) with Darryl McDaniels and Joseph Simmons of Run-DMC perform during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

And the Grammy for most frequent performer at this year’s show goes to… whoever controls the bleeping. It seemed like during every other performance or speech, the broadcast fell silent altogether, completely halting momentum and goodwill. To kick off the night, Lizzo was bleeped; so were Ariana Grande, Nas, Aerosmith, Gary Clark Jr. and Billie Eilish, and then Eilish again. I know we’re on CBS. But could they not have worked out substitutions, or like, sent out a memo about profanity before the show?

Worst: So many no-shows

In practically every award category, there was a conspicuous static portrait filling one fifth (or one eighth) of the screen. No Lady Gaga, no Taylor Swift, no Dave Chappelle, no Young Thug, no Beyoncé, no Bon Iver. Their no-shows just reinforced the idea that many of the most important people in music don’t really care about the show anymore.

It’s hard to tell whether any of the acts declined to show in support of fired ex-president Deborah Dugan—but whatever the reason, these no-shows just reinforced the idea that the Grammys’ relevance has waned.

Worst: Crowd Diversity

If the Grammys wants to show its increased commitment to representation, it could start with maybe finding some people of color to put in the mosh pit. When YG came out to pay tribute to Nipsey Hussle and explore the relationship of Crips and Bloods and the plight of gang violence in Los Angeles, he was met by a too-enthusiastic almost-all-white crowd. And when Gary Clark Jr. delivered a bitter and scathing performance of “This Land”—in which his declaration “F-ck you I’m America’s son” was bleeped—he was also greeted with a volley of white hands.

Best: “Old Town Road”

Getty Images for The Recording A—2020 The Recording AcademyLil Nas X and BTS perform onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on January 26, 2020 in Los Angeles, California.

While this year’s Grammys clearly needed to include the biggest song of all time, the song presented something of a logistical challenge. How could one stage hold so many distinct personalities, from Lil Nas to BTS to Mason Ramsey, and fold them into one cohesive whole?

The answer was obvious in retrospect: a spinning a lazy susan that allowed Lil Nas to strut through several sets, each containing a different aesthetic and set of performers, before combining them all into one room. BTS brought a shaggy charisma with their seated dancing; Billy Ray Cyrus evoked the best Clint Eastwood movies with his stoic delivery of his unimpeachable verse. But Lil Nas saved the biggest surprise for last: the original Nas himself, who sounded invigorated over the ominous beat of “Rodeo.” Nas’ appearance effectively passed his torch to a much younger rapper, whose center of gravity and communal spirit throughout the performance showed his potential as far more than a one-hit-wonder.