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jcwriting · 4 years ago

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Written in the Stars

summary ↬ being soulmates with a werewolf? pretty easy. being jungkook’s soulmate? the easiest thing in the world. there’s only one teensy tiny problem. he doesn’t want to fuck you.

pairing ↬ werewolf!jungkook x reader

genre ↬ soulmate!au, abo verse, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort (this is so fucking dramatic and for what)

word count ↬ 10.4k my hand slipped

warnings ↬ swearing, angst (but with a happy ending bc im a sappy bitch), jk is stupid in love (emphasis on stupid), mentions of violence (very brief and i don’t go into too much detail but just to warn yall), slight nsfw (sex is a big topic for like half of this but not sex is had...i know im shocked too), half of this is background info/setting up the story the other half is finally addressing the summary lolol, jk is kind of an asshole but he has reasons!!!!!

authors note ↬ hello lovelies! here’s a small little thing for you all (laughs in 10k word count). this has been sitting in my drafts for fucking ever and i just needed to get it out there and out of my hands. im thinking about writing a part two where the actual ~*/sex/*~ is had but im still on the fence about that. please let me know what you think! i literally crave your interactions so pls dont be shy,,,,,okay love you bye :)

(ps i was so close to naming this Rewrite the Stars but since this has absolutely nothing to do with The Greatest Showman i didn’t. but i was close,,,,so fucking close)

You always knew Jeon Jungkook was destined for great things.

It was written in the stars, your mother had told you after he had first stepped foot into your family-owned grocery store. Your mother didn’t have any special powers, she just had a thing for astrology. While you normally shrugged off her random proclamations about divine intervention and planetary alignments, you found that Jungkook was something you couldn’t ignore or chalk up as your mother’s latest tea leaf reading.

From the moment you set eyes on him you knew he was different. While your family held zero claim to any sort of mystical or magical inclinations, you were well aware of those who did. It was no secret that non-humans roamed the Earth in plain sight, even though it had taken humans eons to realize this. After years of savage wars and civil unrest, agreements had come into place and governing bodies were adjusted to accept the changes that had finally been made. But, this was all before your time. You were the generation that was born into the period of peace, the first children to not experience bloodshed before they could walk. The world you knew now was almost a complete one-eighty of what it had been.

Where before those who were not of human blood had to do everything they could to blend in, now could be free of the shadows. Your classrooms had both humans and non-humans in their rosters. Some of your teachers were hybrids. Curriculum expanded to teach humans about a world that had once been entirely unknown to them. One of your favorite teachers was a witch who regaled your tenth grade class with stories of goblin wars, wizard duels, and vampire covens. All tales that you had once thought were nothing but fiction were now anything but.

Which is why, the second Jeon Jungkook entered the grocery store that your parents owned and that you had worked at since you were old enough to speak in full sentences, you knew who he was. You didn’t even question it.

He was a werewolf. A powerful one. You could see it in the way he carried himself. The purposeful strides he took down the narrow aisles, the confidence in his broad shoulders. Humans weren’t nearly as sensitive as their hybrid counterparts but you also paid attention in your classes. Or, perhaps you were more aware than other humans. Never in your life did you have the issues other faced when meeting a non-human for the first time. You always knew who they were without them having to tell you. You just knew.

So, when Jeon Jungkook stepped up to your register with a bottle of water and some raw beef, you didn’t flinch. Didn’t bend under his dark gaze or shuffle your feet in an awkward attempt to break the silence. Instead, you flashed him your customer service smile and rang up his items. He didn’t say a word as he paid, barely sparing you a second glance as he strode out of the store.

“He’s going to be a great and powerful man,” your mother said in that feathery light voice of hers. “It was written in the stars.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

Jeon Jungkook came into your store everyday for the next month. He bought the same thing every time. A bottle of water and a package of raw beef. The only time he spared you any words was to say thank you or the occasional hello if the sun was shining. Usually, he was alone. Sometimes, he came with a few members of his pack. You liked those days. He smiled a little brighter and talked a little louder when they were around. Especially around Taehyung.

Then, after a month, he didn’t come in. Not for an entire week. From Monday to Sunday, you hadn’t seen a hide nor hair of him. A part of you was worried, so worried that you almost stopped Taehyung in the middle of the street to ask of Jungkook’s whereabouts before realizing how insane that made you look, the other part was chastising yourself for caring. Jeon Jungkook was a customer. Nothing more, nothing less.

The following Monday had come and you had finally stopped glancing at the sliding doors every five minutes. You no longer expected his commanding presence to rock your little world. Instead, you continued your day as if it had been any other. That was, until, Jeon Jungkook stepped through the entrance looking as if he was walking on air. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

“Did you have a good heat?” You asked when he stepped up to your register. Jungkook fumbled the water bottle he had been setting onto the conveyer belt before turning to stare at you.

“What did you just say?”

You didn’t shrink under his intense glare. “I was asking if you enjoyed your heat. Seems like you did.”

“How do you know I was in my rut?”

“Oh, is rut the correct terminology? Sorry, they always interchanged them in class, I was never sure what was appropriate.” You shrugged and rang up his items. “It was kind of obvious, though. You seemed pretty agitated about a week-and-a-half ago, then you disappear for a week, and now you’re back looking happier than ever. If it wasn’t your rut then I want to know where you went on vacation because that’s where I’m heading to next.”

Jungkook laughed. That almost made you jump out of your skin. You had never heard him laugh before. It was throaty, it was deep, and it was wonderful. “I’ll be sure to send you the link to the Airbnb.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?”

He smirked. “I’m here every day, aren’t I?”

You tilted your head as you accepted the cash he handed to you. “Clearly, you’re not that reliable.”

Jungkook laughed again. It was becoming your new favorite sound. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to appear flaky.”

“You’re forgiven,” you decided as you handed him the plastic bag of his purchases. Teasingly, you added, “just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

He flashed you a smile that showed off his sharpened canines. “Don’t worry, darling. I never make the same mistake twice.”

Jeon Jungkook kept his promise. He showed up everyday, like clockwork. Bought the same thing. Arrived at the same time. The only thing that changed was how he treated you. It wasn’t that he treated you badly before, he had always been polite. But now, he talked to you. He asked you questions and answered yours. More often than not, he laughed.

(It had become your favorite sound.)

For three months, this continued. The two of you had settled into a comfortable routine, something you relied on and expected. Until, he changed that.

Until, Jeon Jungkook asked you out on a date.

“What did you just say?”

“Are you free? Tonight?” You glanced around, almost expecting to see some sort of supermodel posing behind you to explain the absolute absurdity of the situation. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for the hidden cameras. I think I’m getting Punk’d.”

Jungkook sighed and placed both hands on the counter that separated the two of you. “Look at me.” You did. Slowly and warily, but you did. “Does it look like I’m lying to you?”

Narrowing your eyes, you regarded him carefully. He seemed serious. But, then again, do you ever really know someone? “I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen you lie before so I wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Fine. Ask me what color my shirt is.”

“What color is your shirt?”

“White,” he deadpanned. You glanced down at his chest. His shirt was black.

“Jungkook!”

He threw his head back and released a full bellied laugh. Even in your exasperation you couldn’t help but soften a little. “I’m sorry, darling. I couldn’t help myself.” Annoyed, you huffed and spun to face the cash register. Stabbing your finger onto the touchscreen, you ignored Jungkook’s obvious presence on the opposite side of the counter. Until his hand reached around the card reader and grasped a hold of your chin. The warmth of his fingers forced your head to turn to meet his.

“Come to dinner with me.” His voice was nothing but a rumble in his chest, his eyes so black and all-consuming you couldn’t do anything but agree with him. He seemed pleased by your response as his fingers tightened against your skin and a grateful smile flicked past his lips. His gaze darted down to your mouth and your breath froze in your chest.

“Are you going to kiss me?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“No.” You tried to shake your head but his grip didn’t allow you much movement. He was taken aback by your answer, a small frown tugging at his mouth. You quickly backtracked to fix the situation. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in a grocery store. That’s a new low that I refuse to reach.”

Jungkook chuckled and tapped your chin gently. “Alright, darling. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Again, he kept his promise to you. He showed up at your parents house exactly at seven, wearing a button-down shirt and slacks. The tulips he had gotten for you was thrust into your hands the moment you opened the door. Flashing him a genuine smile, you hurried into the kitchen to set them in water while your mother grilled him on his birth time. You were quick to drag him away, practically throwing him towards the car as you waved goodbye.

“Sorry,” you sighed as Jungkook opened the passenger door for you. “She has a…thing for astrology. She’s probably creating your star map or whatever right now.”

“It’s okay,” he responded once he got into the drivers seat. “It’s sweet of her to care.”

You snorted. “She’s delusional is what she is.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe in astrology?”

“Do you?”

Jungkook shrugged as he pulled out of your dirt driveway. He looked so damn attractive behind the wheel it was honestly unfair. “Not really saying I do or don’t. All I know is that there are a lot of things out there that are out of our control. If believing in the stars and planets helps you gain some of that control back, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“God, don’t talk like that in front of my mother. She’ll want to start dating you.”

He grinned and placed a hand on your knee. “Tell her I’m already taken.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond to that. Not that he didn’t give you one, it was just that you literally had nothing to say. With just one sentence he opened the floodgates of your brain and the amount of thoughts that were flying through your conscious was painful. Anxiety fluttered in your stomach and you pressed your lips together to keep you from word vomiting onto him. No, it was better to keep your mouth shut and let the moment pass.

By the time you reached the restaurant you were a trembling mess of nerves. Were you guys dating? You thought this was just a ‘testing the waters’ date, not a ‘you’re my girlfriend now’ date. Did you have to make it Facebook official? You hated that shit.

Jungkook didn’t comment on your obvious distress, though. He merely placed a hand on the small of your back, ignoring how you jerked in surprise, and led you into the quiet bistro. Nodding politely to the hostess who was practically panting at the sight of him (you honestly couldn’t blame her) and pulled out your chair for you. When he sat down, he started talking. Idle chat at first. Commenting on one of the dishes, asking about the college classes you were taking at your local university. Before you realized it, wine was in your glass and your shoulders were loose. Previous nerves forgotten, you lost yourself in Jungkook. You drank, you ate, you laughed, and genuinely enjoyed his company. Honestly, it was the best date you’d ever been on.

“I have to be honest with you,” Jungkook spoke after he finished his raw steak. “I have an ulterior motive for asking you here tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled around the shrimp you had just tossed in your mouth. “So…this isn’t a date?”

“No, it is,” Jungkook clarified quickly around a dry chuckle. He seemed…nervous. It put you on edge immediately. “This is definitely a date. And, also, more.”

“More? What, is this a proposal too?” You were joking. A 100% joking. But Jungkook was staring at you so seriously it made you panic. “Jungkook, if you get down on one knee here I swear-”

“I’m not proposing,” he assured you. “This is something more than that.”

“More?” You parroted. Jungkook sighed.

“Do you know what a true mate is?”

Right there, in that quaint little bistro, on a date with quite possibly the most untouchable man you’d ever met, he explained how you were irrevocably his. His true mate, his soulmate.

Jungkook explained everything in great detail, which you appreciated, because honestly, you had no words. He explained how when he was born, the witch who cared for him told his father that his future glared brightly ahead of him, but only when he met his other half. True mates were rare. Mating was common, the wolves in his pack could have multiple mates or a lifelong one, but true mates were destiny. Someone or something out there had forged the two of you together. You were essentially each others other half. He was made for you and you were made for him.

“But…aren’t true mates only for wolves? I thought it’s impossible for a human to be a true mate,” you asked in a shaky voice once Jungkook took a breath.

“It was supposed to be impossible. Until, I met you.” Jungkook stared at you with a sort of reverence that made your entire body blush. “I have no idea how you are. I’ve spent hours researching. I’ve consulted with members of my pack and others. No one knows why.”

“Are you sure, though? I mean…what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook shook his head. “I visited the witch right after I met you. She took one look at me and told me that I had finally found my true mate. She said she’d never seen a future so bright before.”

You had no words for that. For the first time in your life, you were speechless. Jungkook seemed to understand. He let you sit in silence as he paid for the bill and walked you out to the car. The drive back to your parents house was the same. You couldn’t speak. The shock rendered you stupid.

By the time Jungkook pulled into the driveway you still hadn’t spoken a word to each other. You stepped out of the car before he could open the door for you. Walking up to the porch steps in a trance, you didn’t hear him follow you until he clasped your wrist in his hand. Turning to face him, you were surprised to see his brown eyes so big. They practically sparkled in the moonlight and he looked so soft and sweet you nearly melted into the wood beneath your feet.

“Please,” he whispered. “Can you…just - are you okay? You’ve been so quiet. I’m worried I’ve scared you off or something.”

With that voice, it was impossible to deny him. So, you said the first thing that popped in your head. “Do we have to make it Facebook official?”

Jungkook stared at you before bursting into laughter. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

You blushed and glanced down. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I can’t remember my Facebook password so even if you wanted to change it I don’t think it’ll work.”

“So that’s why you never accepted my friend request,” Jungkook teased. Before you could squeak out a response, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you forward. You kept your arms crossed across your chest but let yourself fall against him.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you whined as you buried your face into his shoulder. He smelled so good, a mixture of pine and spice. “My brain hasn’t worked since you told me I’m yours, so bear with me.”

Jungkook chuckled and gently swayed you from side to side. “Does that mean you’re okay with this? All of this?”

Sighing, you lifted your head up and stepped away from him. Jungkook was not impressed and pulled you back to him. Your heart swelled in your chest and you wrapped your arms around his neck in consolation. “Honestly? I haven’t really processed anything. You’ve had your whole life to come to terms with this. I just found out thirty minutes ago that I’m someone’s soulmate. It’s a lot to take in.”

Jungkook nodded as he tapped his fingers against your hips. “I know. It’s a lot…I’m a lot. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be with me. I won’t-”

Now it was your turn to burst into laughter. You couldn’t believe those words had left his mouth. It was easily the most absurd thing you’d ever heard. “Jungkook, I want to make something very clear. I have no problem being your true mate. That’s not the issue here. Well, there really isn’t an issue. It’s just…hard to believe, I guess. I have to process that this is my new reality.”

“Really?” Jungkook perked up and looked so fucking cute you couldn’t help but cup his cheeks. His skin was so warm despite the cold autumn air that surrounded you both. “You want to do this? Be with me? Be mine?” All you could do was nod. You were so overwhelmed with emotions. The shock was evident, but a piece of you was so happy. You felt whole.

Jungkook’s face split into a wide smile that caused his nose to scrunch up. He wrapped his arms around your waist and spun you around. Squealing, you slung your legs around his hips and held on. Normally, you’d rather die than show this much affection to someone. But, this was Jungkook. Your soulmate.

“So…what do we do now?” You asked once Jungkook set you down. “Is there, like, a ceremony or something?”

“I have no idea,” he admitted as he stared down at you. He had a hand against your jaw and was rubbing your cheek tenderly. “I really didn’t think I’d get this far.”

You scoffed at his ridiculousness. While recognizing you were Jungkook’s true mate was going to take some time, believing that he thought you’d deny him was utter nonsense. “What if…what if we date, first?” You suggested timidly. “I know that sounds kind of weird considering we’re supposed to be the loves of each others lives. But, I don’t really know you all that well. And, I think this is going to take sometime for me to get used to. Maybe we should date, get to know each other, and just learn how to be with one another.”

“Whatever you want,” Jungkook agreed. “We can do whatever you want. Just as long as I have you, I’m happy.”

Two years passed.

Two blissful, wonderful years. Two years of dating, two years of loving, two years of being Jeon Jungkook’s. It was everything you could’ve asked for and more. You had never felt so loved and cherished in your entire life. He respected you, he took care of you, and most importantly, he was there for you in every sense. Since the moment you met him, you hadn’t been alone. He hadn’t let you. Jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

And, it was the same for him. You were there for him when he transitioned into the leader of his pack. You were there when he took over the CEO position from his father and encouraged and supported him every step of the way. You let yourself be loved and in return he let you love him. It was wonderful.

Except, for one tiny thing.

While the emotional aspect of your relationship flourished and bloomed into something beautiful, the physical side remained stagnant. Make out sessions and heavy petting were a norm in your relationship. At first, it didn’t bother you. In fact, you loved that Jungkook was taking things so slow and so seriously. But, eventually, your needs began to grow. You found yourself wanting him in more ways than one, wants that only he could satisfy. Jungkook refused. Every time.

It wasn’t like he refused your every need. No, Jungkook was extremely attentive. When it came to himself, that’s when things got dicy. He had no problem spending hours between your legs, worshipping you until you were crying from the overstimulation. Yet, he wouldn’t let you anywhere near him. Not without lack of trying on your part. The minute your hands went down to his waistband, he pushed you away. Every time you tried to dip your mouth to the obvious bulge in his pants, he lifted you up and kissed you breathless until you forgot your name. It wasn’t until after a year of dating that he finally let you grind on his clothed cock. Even then, he held off until you finished and then walked out with quite possibly the worst case of blue balls. You hated that he did this to himself. The worst part was, you couldn’t understand why.

The one time you had brought it up to him it had resulted in the worst fight the two of you had ever gotten into. It was the only argument that was never really resolved. After the yelling and the tears, all you got out of Jungkook was that mating with a wolf was not pretty. It was extremely dangerous and he refused to put you in that kind of danger. End of discussion. No matter how hard you tried to persuade him or broach the subject, he shut it down. Hard. Eventually, you gave up.

He even spent his ruts away from you. Every three months, he left you for a week. You knew he had a place somewhere up in the mountains and you assumed that’s where he went. You had no idea. There was no point even asking to come along. You loved your boyfriend and didn’t want to purposely give him a heart attack. You hated it when he left. As much as you tried to hide it and convince him that you were just fine, he wasn’t stupid. Being away from him was tough. A piece of you was missing whenever he was gone. And you were only whole again when he returned.

This past week had been one of those weeks. He had left on Sunday for the mountains. He was agitated and clingy, how he normally was pre-rut. Jungkook wouldn’t let you leave his side and you spent most of the weekend on his lap or wrapped in his arms. Not that you minded. When he left your parents house on Sunday night, you’d had to coax him out of the door. Promising him that you’d be okay and that you’d see him next week. It wasn’t until several kisses later did Jungkook finally leave.

While you’d been doing this for two years, it never got easier. More manageable? Sure. But definitely not easier. All you could do was go through the motions. You went to work at the local bakery, came home and helped your mom with dinner, watched TV with your dad before going to bed. Taehyung and Jimin would visit often, threatened by Jungkook to keep you company. While you assured them it wasn’t necessary, you secretly didn’t mind. They made you laugh and made you temporarily forget your boyfriend was miles away from you. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he’d call you to tell you goodnight. But those times were rare. Normally, you didn’t hear from him until Friday or Saturday when he was finally coming out of his rut and returning to the world.

By the time Sunday rolled around, you were a jittery ball of nerves. Not in a bad sense. You were just excited. The anticipation killed you and it took all of your willpower to sit and wait for his text to tell you to come over. Your parents always left you alone on these Sundays, unable to deal with your hyperactiveness and constant fidgeting.

This Sunday was no different. You puttered around your room for the better part of the day. You spent the other part in the kitchen, baking like your life depended on it. Jungkook loved your cookies and you always made sure to come over with at least three batches after his ruts. He always said that was his second favorite part about coming home, after seeing you, of course.

You had just finished packaging the final batch in a glass cookie jar when your phone dinged. You didn’t have to read the message, you knew exactly what it said. Pure joy rushed through your system as you threw on your coat and shouted a hasty goodbye to your parents. Juggling the cookies and car keys, you sprinted to your car. The drive to Jungkook’s was thankfully not long. About ten minutes, as long as you didn’t hit any traffic on the main road. Luck was on your side, though, and you showed up at Jungkook’s house in eight minutes.

Taehyung’s car was in the driveway when you pulled up, which wasn’t odd. Although Jungkook owned the house, the members of his pack were almost always around. While most preferred to travel in their wolf forms, you knew Taehyung and Namjoon preferred cars. Something about being able to listen to their own music without comments from the peanut gallery. You didn’t really understand and didn’t really need to. You had just chalked it up as one of their many quirks.

Carrying the trays of cookies in both hands, you shut your car door with your foot before speed-walking up the stone walkway to Jungkook’s home. The screen door was shut, but the wooden door was swung wide open. You had just reached for the metal handle when you heard it.

A deep, threatening growl ripped through the peaceful quiet and froze you in place. You knew it was Jungkook. While you had only heard it once, you’d never forgotten it. It was when the two of you had attended a party and an alpha from a neighboring pack had cornered you in the hallway. Jungkook had found you cowered against the wall as the other alpha had caged you in. The sound that had left his chest had given you equal parts comfort and fear. Comfort, because he was there and you knew you were safe. Fear, because you could see in the way he bared his teeth and how his muscles vibrated, he had been furious and bloodthirsty.

That’s what you felt now, fear.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

From your vantage point in front of the screen door, you could see directly into the kitchen. Taehyung was leaning against the granite countertop and Jungkook was seated at the island. The tension was so thick you practically choked on it.

“Enough, Taehyung.”

“No,” Taehyung snapped, seeming just as angry as Jungkook. “I’m not dropping it. Not this time.”

“Yes, you will,” Jungkook snarled. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Too fucking bad.” While Taehyung was also an alpha, he acted so much like a beta you never really noticed. Until now. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you do this to yourself anymore. Not spending your ruts correctly is only causing you more harm than good.”

“I’m doing things the way I want to, and it’s working-”

“The hell it is!” Jungkook growled at the interruption but Taehyung ignored him. “It’s not working, and you know it. Anyone with two fucking eyes knows it. It’s getting so bad that the pack is noticing, too. Even Namjoon has realized something is wrong, and he’s as oblivious as they come.”

“If they have a problem with me they can take it up with me.”

“No, they can’t. Because you won’t listen. Your head is so far up your ass you can’t even hear yourself anymore. What you’re doing right now is not working. Something needs to change.”

“Like what?” Jungkook spat.

“You know what,” Taehyung bit back. Jungkook was practically vibrating from rage. You knew you needed to go get someone, someone from the pack to calm the two of them down. Things were only escalating, but you couldn’t move. Your brain screamed at you to run but your legs were rooted in place. “That’s is what’s so frustrating, Jungkook. This, all of this, could be solved. She’s right there-”

“Don’t.” Jungkook stood up so fast the chair he sat on flew backwards and hit the wall with a resounding crack.

“Why?” Taehyung threw his arms up in the air. “Why not? I don’t get it-”

“Because I don’t want her!” Jungkook yelled, the force of it rang throughout the house. You had no idea who the she was that they were referring to. You assumed it was someone from the pack. It was well-known that wolves with human mates sometimes turned to other she-wolves to help with their ruts. You figured that’s what Jungkook did whenever he went away for a week. It had bothered you at first, but you knew he had his needs and that they were at a biological level. You refused to make him feel guilty or ashamed for taking care of himself.

“You don’t want her?” Taehyung was enraged. You could tell by the way he straightened his spine and unfurled himself to his full height. Jungkook bristled in response and the muscles in his back strained against the thin material of his shirt.

“No, I don’t!” Jungkook exploded. “What don’t you understand about that? I don’t want her around me. I don’t need her, I’m fine on my own. The thought of having her there when…God - it makes me physically ill.”

“She’s your girlfriend. Above all of that, your true mate. You’re seriously going to deny yourself of her, for what? Just because you don’t like having her around?”

Oh.

That’s when it hit you. They weren’t talking about some random she-wolf. They were talking about you. You were the one Jungkook didn’t want. You were the one Jungkook didn’t need. You were the one he didn’t like having around. As the weight of the words sunk into your mind, you felt your chest becoming tighter and tighter.

Then, you’re heart broke right in half. You dropped the container of cookies and didn’t flinch when it shattered against the wooden slats. The sound unstuck your feet from their position on the porch and your fight or flight system took over. Without a second thought, you turned on your heel and ran.

You didn’t know if anyone was behind you, you didn’t turn around to check. Hands fumbled for the car door as you threw yourself into the drivers side. Pain ricocheted throughout your chest cavity and you struggled to breathe. Your brain was blank, the only thing your mind did was move your body to get you somewhere safe. You had to leave and you had to leave now.

Miraculously, your fingers found your keys and inserted them into the ignition on the second try. A flutter of movement occurred to the left of you but your eyes didn’t let you look that way. Instead, they focused on the rearview mirror as you reversed out of the driveway. Your right hand found the gearshift and moved it to drive. Soon, you were tearing down the street as your ears refused to register the agonized howls that echoed behind as you kept staring forward. Adrenaline pumped through your system and your body shivered in response, the splash of hormones had created a blanket of fake calm over you. The emotions, the pain, the thoughts were swirling inside of you, ready to break free and drown you, but your brain wouldn’t allow it.

It wasn’t until you reached the end of your long driveway that you felt the original spike of adrenaline fade away. Your mother was in the front, tending to the flowers, and looked up when she saw your car fly into its usual spot. She stood up and her face twisted into a frown when you got out of your seat.

“Honey, your aura…it’s concerning.” The blanket was yanked away and the pain crashed over you.

You couldn’t say a word, all you could do was collapse in your mother's arms and cry, cry, cry.

It took you two days to calm down. The tears had stopped rolling and your shoulders no longer shook from trying to hold your sobs behind your teeth. Your mother hadn’t left your side, leaving your father to answer the door whenever someone knocked. The only person who did was Taehyung and Jimin. Jungkook never showed up.

Well, that was a lie.

Jungkook did show up every morning and night, without fail. But he never came to your doorstep. Instead, he was in the woods behind your house, patrolling, not daring to leave the protection of the forest. A part of you wondered if he was respecting your obvious need for space or if your mother had paid a witch to set up boundary lines that didn’t allow him to cross. Either way, you were grateful that you couldn’t see him. There was an incessant tugging in your heart to be near him but you staunchly ignored it, which would’ve been impossible if you saw his achingly beautiful face.

I don’t want her. I don’t need her. Having her there makes me physically ill. Those three sentences played in a constant loop in your head, like a horror movie you couldn’t escape from. You were the protagonist who couldn’t escape the maze, but the villain wasn’t kind enough to kill you off. No matter what you did, your brain wouldn’t stop repeating those three sentences. Your mother burned sage, she pressed crystals into your palms, she muttered ritual after ritual, but nothing worked.

You hated how affected you were. You had always told yourself that you would never be the girl who’d get so wrapped up in someone else they didn’t know who they were anymore. Independence was something you prided yourself on, but you seemed to be at a complete loss now. You couldn’t stop the waves of sadness and self-hatred at your depressed state. It was amazing how empty you felt yet so full of pain at the same time. Your mind and heart couldn’t seem to decide which hurt worse; your heart for having your soulmate so obviously reject you, or your brain for trying to make sense of the situation. When did this happen? How did this happen? How had you been so blind as to not see it?

“I don’t think we’re soulmates,” you rasped to your mom on the third morning. It had been the first words you had spoken to her since you had fell into her arms. She looked up from the bundle of herbs she was smoking.

“Why do you say that?”

You stared at your hands that had curled in on themselves. “I don’t make him happy. I-I never realized how uncomfortable I made him. I wish I had known. How did I miss it?”

Your mother tutted gently and gathered you in her arms. She smelled of lavender and wax. “This is good. I’m glad you’re letting yourself have this moment. Let’s sit in this and allow yourself to be embedded here.” But you didn’t want to have this moment. You didn’t want to have any moment and you’ve felt enough to last a lifetime. Instead, you rolled over, let sleep overtake you and tried to ignore the distant howling that rattled your window pane.

By nightfall of the fourth day, you were forced out of bed. Partly by choice, partly by force. Your parents had dipped out to run to the grocery store, despite your mother’s insistence that she could stay. You and your father managed to convince her to leave and you had gotten up to wave them goodbye. Sure, your heart was broken, but the least you could do was kiss them on the cheek before they left. You had turned around to shuffle into the kitchen to try and shovel something down your dry throat when a loud knock sounded at the front door. Hesitating, you carefully peeked through the kitchen window and saw Jimin on your front doorstep, dressed in all black.

Sighing, you stumbled over and pulled the door open. You figured you couldn’t avoid them for much longer. “Hey, Jimin.”

“Christ, you look like shit.”

You huffed out a laugh as Jimin stared at you in horror, not having the energy to be offended. You also knew, in a weird way, that this was Jimin’s way of caring for you. “Yeah. My mother’s covered all the mirrors in the house.”

Jimin nodded as he glanced at you from head to toe. “I want to ask if you’re okay but…” He gestured to your gaunt frame swaddled in a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants. For the first time in two years, they were your own clothes, not Jungkook’s.

“I’m fine, Jimin,” you heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the doorframe. “Do you want to come in? I think my mom boiled some tea not too long ago.”

Jimin shook his head. “Can’t. Jungkook would have a fit if I got that close to you right now. I’m already pushing my luck just by showing up.” He doesn’t care, you thought bitterly, and almost said it out loud but you caught yourself at the last second. Jimin wasn’t stupid, though. He knew what you were thinking. “Hey,” he murmured, eyes going soft, “are you ready to talk about it?”

“No.” You shook your head. A wave of sadness washed over you but the telltale prick of tears didn’t come.

Jimin understood. He tucked his hands into his pockets as he rocked back onto his heels. “Are you going to talk to him?”

Letting out a heavy breath, you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know I have to. I just…I just need time.”

“Take however long you need.”

It was another 48-hours before you finally snapped. While you had spent the majority of the two days that had passed to make yourself resemble a human being, you couldn’t focus. You couldn’t move on. Why?

Because Jungkook wouldn’t leave you alone.

His presence was constant. He circled your house every hour of ever day, the large shadow of him in wolf form darkened the trees behind your house. The howling had stopped but the pacing hadn’t. You hoped he was at least sleeping, but then you got annoyed at yourself for caring. You didn’t know why he was out there, it made no sense. Jungkook’s words were so different from his actions it made your head spin.

But, you needed to move on with your life. You had to. The only way it was going to happen was if Jungkook did too. It hurt. God, did it hurt. Yet, as sad and utterly pathetic as it sounded, you were used to the pain at this point, had resigned yourself to it. A part of you worried you wouldn’t know what to do without it.

Shaking off that depressing thought, you tugged on your rain boots and stepped outside for the first time in a week. The air was heavy with the promise of rain, the clouds low and gray. You tugged the hood up on your sweater to prevent your hair from completely frizzing out before you walked to down the back deck steps.

The backyard of your parents house was expansive. The home you had grown up in sat on top of a sloping hill that your mother had turned into her personal greenhouse. You stepped past rows of raised garden beds and pruned plants until you reached the line where the neatly mowed grass met the twisted ferns of the forest floor. As you had suspected, the ground was scorched with the evidence of past rituals. While your mother hadn’t out right admitted, you had figured someone had come and created a boundary line. It was obviously specific to Jungkook since Jimin and Taehyung were still able to visit. While your mother’s methods were extreme, you understood. As difficult as it was to move on with your life with Jungkook sequestered to the forest, you couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like if he was within a few feet of you.

With a deep inhale, you sat down on the damp grass and waited. After a few minutes, you could hear the faint sounds of paws hitting the wet earth. The galloping got louder and louder until there was a momentary stretch of silence before it changed to footsteps.

When Jungkook emerged from the trees, you weren’t prepared. Although you knew you wouldn’t be, you still weren’t expecting it to hurt this bad. Your chest squeezed painfully at the first look of his broad form. Technically, it had been two weeks since you two had truly seen each other, the longest you’d ever gone. What hurt the most was how badly you longed for him. You wanted nothing more than to run straight into his arms, bury your face into his chest, and forget everything. Just forgive and give your heart what it wanted. But you remained firmly in place.

Jungkook looked as if he had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, was probably true since you hadn’t seen the sun in seven days. His normally golden skin was pale and even from where you sat you could see the dark circles bruising under his eyes. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping. You hated that you noticed. You hated that you cared. He was dressed in all black and his chest strained against the material of his sweater. His hands were balled into tight fists at his side and the sight reminded you of why you were here.

“Hi.” Probably wasn’t the best start but it was the best you could do. Jungkook didn’t respond so you soldiered on. “I-I know you don’t want to be here, so I’ll make this quick. I just…wanted to apologize. I had no idea I made you so uncomfortable. I’m not sure how long you’ve felt this way about me, not that it really matters, but I wish you had told me sooner. Maybe things would’ve been easier for you, who knows.” You released a heavy sigh and tried to shove down the stone in your throat as you forced the next words out of your mouth. “But, all of that doesn’t matter anymore. I think I understand what you need, now. I know you loved me at one point, but I’m obviously not what you need anymore. And…t-that’s okay - I swear it is. All I want is for you to be happy, Jungkook. And I think, in order for that to happen, I need to move on. We both need to move on-”

“Stop it,” Jungkook broke in with a harsh voice that cut your sentence in half. “Stop talking.”

It felt like he had slapped you in the face. A wave of humiliation washed over you and you visibly flinched. Staggering to your feet, you locked your gaze onto your boots in an attempt to hide the tears that dripped down your nose. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, not expecting it to change anything. You began to turn away but Jungkook stopped you in your tracks, again.

“Wait, no - stop. Stop. Please…don’t go,” he pleaded. When you turned around, his eyes were frantic. Jungkook’s hand was raised from his side as if he thought about reaching out to you but something stopped him. His words were at war with one another and you were caught in the middle, at a loss for what he was trying so desperately to convey to you.

“Jungkook, I’m so confused.”

“I know. I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” Jungkook tucked his head into his hands before dropping down into a squat. “This is all wrong. This is all so wrong.”

You knew you should walk away. You had said your piece, it was time to move on, just as you had said. Yet, you couldn’t. It was as if your heart was tethered to him and your body couldn’t handle the pain of walking away. “Listen-”

“I don’t know what to do.” He cut you off but the bubbles of anger that had risen from being interrupted popped once you saw how lost he looked. His tattooed fingers threaded through his hair, allowing you to see the pure anguish that twisted his features. “Whenever I feel like this, I come to you. Because you always know what to do. Any situation, no matter what, you can handle it. It’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

The way he spoke to you now, so reverently and so full of awe, made your head spin. Nothing made sense. It was such a blatant contrast to the brutality that he had spat out a week ago. As much as you wanted to believe what he said now, those stupid words could not get out of your head. It was a constant reminder that never shut up.

“I don’t know what to do either,” you admitted in a quiet voice.

“Tell me,” Jungkook begged, as if he couldn’t and refused to comprehend what you had just told him. “Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, I’ll give you.”

You were shaking your head before he could finish. “There’s nothing you can do, Jungkook. Nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” He stared at you, horrified. “Don’t say that to me. Please, there has to be something.”

“What could there be?” You cried. Tears streamed down your cheeks now. “You said it yourself, being near me makes you sick. Why would I stay? Why would you want me to? I refuse to make you uncomfortable anymore - so that’s that.”

“It isn’t,” Jungkook argued back. “It can’t be. I-I can’t lose you, I can’t. I need to make this right, please just let me. Please.”

But, you were tired. You were so fucking tired. You were exhausted of the emotional rollercoaster that you were on that you just wanted to crawl away and hide. All the fight seeped out of you as your shoulders slumped forward. Jungkook saw this and the blood drained from his face. You were giving up, he could see it, and it scared the shit out of him.

“Jungkook, I need to go, okay? I-I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jungkook shouted and shot up to his feet. The pure panic that choked his voice brought on a fresh set of tears that you struggled to hold back. “Just let me explain, okay? I swear to God, after you hear what I have to say, if you still want me to, I’ll let you go. I won’t fight you on it. But, please let me tell you the truth. Give me a chance to make this right. You deserve that.”

You hesitated for a moment. Deep down, you knew you should let him talk. Not because you necessarily thought he deserved to, but because he was right. You did deserve the truth, no matter how much it broke your heart. With a heavy sigh and a quick swipe of your cheeks, you nodded. Once Jungkook was sure you weren’t going to leave, he began pacing. Looking every bit like the wild animal you knew him to be but never got to see.

“Mating with a werewolf is…brutal. It’s intense, it’s painful and it isn’t pretty. It’s essentially a breeding session where I use you as a vessel to fulfill my innate biological needs. It’s not romantic, it’s not gentle. Even for she-wolves it can be too much. The thought of subjecting you to something like that - that type of pain…I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t think you understand just how precious you are to me. The image of you being battered and bruised because of me, something I did…it tormented me, day and night.” He paused for a moment, the pained look in his eyes made you shiver. You hated that he had gone through all of this turmoil on his own, and you especially hated how you never made more of an effort to try and relieve him of it.

“I couldn’t do it. That’s partially the reason I waited so long to tell you that you were my true mate. I knew ruts were something I would never expose you to even though it’s such a huge part of my life, a wolf’s life.” Jungkook looked you straight in the eye, the intensity of his dark gaze took your breath away. “I know the practices other wolves partake in when their own heats or ruts arrive. I know you know them too. But, I need you to understand something. The moment you allowed me to be yours and vice versa, I haven’t had anyone else since. I swear on my life, I’ve spent every single one of my ruts alone. I wouldn’t and I won’t do that to you.”

“Isn’t that painful, though?” Your voice cracked but neither one of you acknowledged it. While your knowledge on ruts were expansive, having done plenty of research since being with Jungkook, you had obviously never experienced one.

“It’s manageable. It’s way more painful for a she-wolf to go through her heat alone than it is for a male.” Jungkook clenched and unclenched his fists as he resumed his pacing. “The worst part is being away from you. I’ve been going through ruts since puberty, I can handle them. But not being able to be with you for a whole week…I hated it. Still do. I dread that three month mark. And as time went on, I became more and more miserable. Being apart from you was almost unbearable but the other option…I never even allowed myself to consider it.

“It came to the point where the pack was noticing. I wasn’t getting the proper pheromonal release from my ruts and it was beginning to affect those around me. Taehyung has been on my ass for months now to get over myself and take you with me during my next rut. Each time I’d give him some excuse, but it was getting harder and harder to justify what I was doing. At first, I was convinced it was because I was protecting you. But you’ve been so understanding and so patient with me and my life, those excuses were becoming useless. Eventually, I think it was because I was protecting myself. I was - am - so scared. I’m terrified that I could hurt you when I’m like that. That I wouldn’t be able to notice or worse, ignored, if something happened to you. Living with that type of fear became debilitating. So, I just kept my mouth shut and kept you away from that part of me.”

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. “Now I know that was the worst possible thing I could do. That I was just hurting you more. What you walked into last Sunday was a culmination of my frustrations that I was refusing to deal with. While it’s not a valid reason, I’m well aware of that, I need you to know that what you heard was not the truth. It couldn’t be further from it. Because the truth is that I’m hopelessly in love with you and the thought of being without you hurts worse than I ever thought was possible.”

It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time that Jungkook left you speechless. It took you a full minute to process what he had said. Jungkook granted you the silence although he became increasingly more agitated as time passed. His boots scuffed the dead leaves that littered the ground and his pacing led him closer to the ashes that lay before your feet. Then, he’d suddenly stalk off with a growl as he was forced to keep away.

“I-” you cleared your throat around the lump that had found a home there. “I had no idea. This whole time…I thought it was because you didn’t want me.”

“God, no.” Jungkook swore heavily as his muscles bunched and coiled beneath his clothes. “The - the fact that…you - fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. That’s not it, that’s not it at all. You’re my dream girl, you’re the love of my life, and I want you every second of every day.”

Maybe it’s because you were emotionally drained and had no mental strength left. Maybe, you needed to hear those words from Jungkook more than you realized. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t worth trying to figure out an explanation as you sunk to the ground and burst into tears.

Jungkook lost it across from you. Broken whines stained the air as he carded through his hair anxiously. He kept trying to get to you, to try to soothe you. But the boundary was unfortunately doing its job and each attempt was met with failure. Curses were spat out until eventually, he got as close as the boundary would let him and fell to his knees. He began spewing whatever came to mind first, unsure of what to do. All he knew was that you were crying because of him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He thought hearing you cry from your bedroom window was torture, but nothing could compare to hearing you break down in front of him. Nothing. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry…please, I’m so sorry. I - don’t cry, darling. Please don’t. I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

It wasn’t tears of heartbreak that leaked from your eyes. Instead, it was tears of relief. While your heart had wholly accepted his words as the truth, the logical part of you reminded yourself that the two of you had way more talking to do. This was far from over, but the relief of knowing that he loved you and he was yours…it was indescribable.

You finally lifted your head up and were shocked to find Jungkook’s cheeks glistening with moisture. Your only thought was to comfort him as you scrambled forward to do just that. Instead of feeling his smooth skin against the palm of your hand, you were blocked by what felt like a wall although nothing stood in your way. Frowning, you realized with a start that the boundary worked both ways. Jungkook let out a frustrated growl as he glared at the ashes that was stopping both of you from getting what you wanted. It was silent for a few moments until an idea popped into your head.

“Wait here,” you announced before jumping up and taking off for the house. Ignoring Jungkook’s distressed cry, you ran inside. You yanked your car keys off from their designated hook and quickly typed out a text to your parents to let them know where you were going before spinning around and sprinting back outside. Jungkook was where you left him, although he stumbled to his feet when he saw you reappear.

“I’m going to your house,” you announced, breathless. “No witch is stupid enough to go that far into werewolf territory. If you want to talk to me there, then follow me.”

Jungkook stared at you for a heartbeat until the words you spoke clicked. “Y-yeah. Yes. Okay. I’ll be there.”

With a curt nod, you ran to your car. For the first time in a week, a faint sprout of hope bloomed in your chest.

It was the longest and shortest ten minutes of your life. The drive to Jungkook’s seemed to last a lifetime but also was over within a blink of an eye. The tears had stopped flowing by the time you pulled your car into his driveway, but you felt the telltale prick in your eyes when you saw him burst from the trees. Your heart ached as his long legs ate up the distance between you two as you wrestled with your seatbelt and threw the car into park. By the time you freed yourself, he was at the hood of your car.

The two of you stared at each other for a few breathless moments. You weren’t sure who moved first, but it didn’t matter as you crashed into each other’s arms. The moment his searing warmth enveloped you, you dissolved into another puddle of sobs. The feeling of his thick arms banded across your back, his torso molded to yours, and his hair tickling your ear, felt so right. Another wave of crippling relief washed over you and you practically melted against Jungkook. But he held you up, just like he always had.

He leaned against the front bumper while his hands were everywhere. Cradling your head into his neck, smoothing over your hips, or running circles over your shoulders. He was crying, you could feel the tears dampening your hair. But you were soaking his shirt so no one was in any position to complain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t,” Jungkook hissed fiercely as he squeezed you tighter. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, not in the slightest.”

“Kook,” you sighed and pulled your head back to get a good look at him. “It takes two to tango.”

“Not this time,” he argued. “You’ve put up with so much. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more. It was my own fears that got in the way and created this mess. And I’m so sorry for that, darling. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You shushed him gently, running your thumbs over his cheeks to swipe at the dried tears. “I know you’re sorry. I believe you.”

Jungkook dipped his head further into your touch with a pleased rumble vibrating through his chest. He kissed your palm gently, sniffing at your wrist. It made you giggle. “Missed that,” Jungkook mumbled as he stared at you with stars in his eyes. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”

A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks. You were positive that you looked like a mess, hair in a knotted bun, face red and puffy and you kept sniffling every two seconds. But Jungkook looked at you as if you held the world in your hands. “Missed you too,” you murmured in return. “Please, next time, just talk to me. I may not have the answers you’re looking for all the time, but I’ll always be here to listen.”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered. “There won’t be a next time, promise. If I happen to be stupid enough to put us in this position again, I give you full permission to punch me in the face.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You lifted yourself onto your toes to brush your lips against his, dropping back down to your feet when his head chased after yours. “Or maybe I just won’t kiss you for a week.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened comically and he actually looked terrified. “I’d rather you just punched me in the face.” You tilted your head back and laughed. Jungkook tugged you closer and nosed your throat before peppering gentle kisses along the exposed skin. Sighing happily, you tilted your head to allow him better access and rested your cheek on his shoulder.

“I love you,” you said quietly. Jungkook froze for a split second before he sank against you. Squeaking in shock, you scrambled to brace yourself against the sudden weight pressing you towards the house.

“Say it again,” Jungkook pleaded. You couldn’t deny him. Dusting feather light kisses to the shell of his ear, you repeated those three words again, and again, and again. Each time you did, Jungkook held you a little tighter and cried a little harder.

Eventually, you’re murmured promises became softer and softer until the two of you just enjoyed each others presence. “C’mon,” you finally whispered as you started to lift yourself off of him. Jungkook growled and refused to let you move an inch farther. “Kook, come on. Let’s go inside. Your ass must be numb by now.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled but he at least shuffled forward a bit more so that your combined weight wasn’t squashing his ass against your car.

“You might say that now, but you won’t be saying that later.”

Jungkook grunted at your logic but he at least raised his head and looked at you with the sweetest eyes. “Please tell me you’re staying.”

Giggling, you asked, “do you want me to?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed. “I want you here forever.” Jungkook tilted his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you should just move in with me.”

Christ, this boy was going to give you whiplash. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Jungkook, we just made up. The whole reason we were in this mess is because of poor communication. Don’t you think we should work on that first before anything else?”

“But…we could work on communication all the time if we’re together 24/7.” Despite his pout, you knew he wasn’t totally serious. Although you were sure it was going to come up again.

“Alright, you maniac,” you said fondly. “Take me to bed.” Jungkook’s chest rumbled happily as he lifted you up and wrapped your legs around his trim waist.

It wasn’t a long walk to his bedroom, but the exhaustion of the past week caught up to you and the gentle rocking of his steps lulled you into a serene state. Not quite asleep, but not quite awake either. You were aware when Jungkook placed you on his bed, practically engulfed in his scent. The last thing you remember before falling asleep was the words Jungkook pressed into your hair has he slid in behind you.

“Love you forever, my darling girl.”

©jcwritings Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.

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here4theheartbreak · 4 years ago

Text

My Tentacle Romance (ksj)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationship: hamster hybrid!Seokjin x Eldritch Horror!Reader

Genre: smut, pwp | Rating: Explicit | Word Count: ~7.2k

Summary: You didn’t mean to scare him. You didn’t to fall in love with him, either.

Tags: agender reader, gender neutral reader, tentacle monster, first kiss, meet weird, and they were roommates, getting together, tentacles, tentacle monster, tentacle dick, come inflation, come swallowing, excessive cum, gagging, choking, dirty talk, oviposition, multiple penetration, multiple orgasms, switch!Jin, switch!reader, mild bondage (but with tentacles)

A/N: This fic was written for @aroseforyoongi both filling a request from my 2k followers event (”you need to stop pulling my tail”) and for Eva’s birthday! Happy birthday, ilysm!!

A/N 2: The banner for this fic was made by the awesome @i-live-so-i-love - thank you so much!!!

The first time Seokjin saw you, he was terrified. Reasonably, you assumed; most people would have that reaction if a humanoid tentacle monster oozed from underneath their bed the first week in their new home. He didn’t need to throw that stupid book at you though. Books really hurt when the spine struck a sensitive tentacle tip. He also didn’t need to scream the way he did. Your ears ached for an hour after. You didn’t know a human male could make that sound. Well… Humanoid.

He had looked human, at first glance. And then you saw his ears. They were large and round and most definitely not human. And his face – with a streak of light tan fur over his nose and a smattering of whiskers on his cheeks – You’d found yourself rooming with a hybrid of some sort. Which was okay, hybrids scared just as easily as humans, in your experience. But you were curious what kind of hybrid he was. Not that he would tell you, what with all the book throwing and screeching he was doing.

A few weeks later, you attempted to meet your reluctant roommate once more. You snuck out from under the bed once more and peeked over the bed, watching the handsome humanoid. He was lying on his bed, reading. At least it looked like he was attempting to read. He was squinting and turning the book this way and that. You spotted his glasses a few feet away and slid a tentacle out, snagging them and bringing them to the bed. You dropped them next to him, and he startled again, head whipping around.

“Don’t scream,” you said, plugging your ears in preparation. He put his glasses on and drew in a gasp of breath, mouth open to scream. “I said don’t,” you pleaded, one tentacle whipping out to cover his mouth. He promptly bit it. You screamed, that time. Who the hell thought biting a slimy black tentacle was a good plan?

You yanked the tentacle back, holding it in your hand as it throbbed. “Why would you bite me, you fucking lunatic?!”

He spluttered, scrambling back into the far corner of his bed. “What are you?!”

“You don’t go around biting people, Jesus Christ, are you an animal?” You snapped, crawling the rest of the way out from under the bed.

He squeaked, covering his mouth with both hands. You could see his chest rising and falling rapidly, and hear his heart racing.

“Dude. Calm down. You’re gonna have a heart attack.” You glanced down at yourself, chuckling a little. “Just calm down,” you repeated. You shuddered a little; this was never an entirely pleasant experience. Bit by bit, you withdrew the multitude of tentacles from various parts of your body back into your skin. Your magic allowed you to appear in somewhat human clothing, simple pants and a shirt, though your left arm remained rather… Tentacle-y no matter how hard you tried to change it. “Is this better?”

His breathing seemed to slow a little. “W—What are you?” He asked again, letting his hands drop from his mouth.

“I’m ___. I’m the Eldritch God that lives under your bed.” You grimaced, looking around. “What is that horrendous sound?” You asked. You spotted a radio on the dresser nearby, blasting some male voice screeching and snarling about dancing to the tune of someone’s death, loving, or something—A tentacle shot from your back and slapped the pause button on the noise. When the room was silent, you turned back to Jin and stuck your right hand out for him to shake, holding the tentacle arm your back.

“Eldritch God?” He repeated. “Also, that was a good song.”

“Yep. I’ve lived in this area for hundreds of years. Scaring humans or… Hybrids. Just generally enjoying life. I’m a low-level god. Pretty young, so I just kinda have to find stuff to do until the end of the world. Scaring people is fun. Never had one bite me though… I won’t comment on the… musical taste.”

When he didn’t move, you blinked at him. “Don’t your kind shake hands? What’s your name? What are you?”

“Th—I— Jin. S—Seokjin,” he finally spluttered. “Kim Seokjin.”

You dropped your hand, realizing he wasn’t going to shake it. “Okay, Kim Seokjin. What are you? Those ears – Are you a mouse?”

“Hamster,” Jin murmured. His ear twitched and he pawed at it.

He seemed to be relaxing a little. You approached slowly, raising your human shaped hand in surrender when he pressed himself against the wall.

“Look, I live here, I’m not leaving,” you said simply. “This is my apartment!”

“I’ve lived here since this place was built. I think it’s technically my apartment,” you clarified. “Just because I don’t hand the humans money doesn’t mean I don’t live here.” You pouted a little as you spoke, wrapping your arms over your chest. “I don’t want you to leave. Humans need a place to sleep too. I just… Want to work something out.”

“Sure, leave.” Jin snapped, his whiskers twitching madly. “You smell like water and… Storms.”

“It’s the Eldritch in me, sorry.” You smiled a little sheepishly. “I’m not leaving. Normally I’d get my kicks scaring the shit out of the humans in this place, but I’ve never had one that had the gall to bite me. So I wanna work something out with you.”

“I’m a rodent hybrid. You scare us, we get nippy. Especially when we can’t see.” Jin crossed his arms over his own chest, mouth thinning into an annoyed line.

“How blind are you?”

“Pretty blind.”

“I can’t see in the sunshine,” you said.

“It hurts my eyes. They don’t dilate so well.” Jin touched his glasses. “It’s why the curtains are always shut.”

“I appreciate it, honestly. I can be in the sun, but it doesn’t feel good to bump into everything. Plus with tentacles… A little more of a hazard.”

“Those were tentacles…” Jin’s face contorted into an awful grimace. He slapped his hand over his mouth. “Oh God – I bit that thing. Was that like biting your dick? In the pornos—”

You truly couldn’t help it. You really tried, but you had never seen a human look so horrified. You doubled over in laughter, holding your stomach as you did.

When you were able to right yourself, Jin was still staring at you, the horrified expression now blending with a shocked one.

“Sorry, sorry,” you said between gasps of breath. “No, no you didn’t bite any of my genital tentacles; it’s more like an arm. They look similar though so I get the confusion.”

Jin’s eyes bulged comically. “Y—You have more than one? Are you…” He hesitated, seemingly searching for the right way to phrase it. “Boy?”

“I’m an Eldritch horror.”

“Right, but… Genital tentacles. Plural? You don’t…” He motioned to your crotch area.

You chuckled. “I existed before the concept of gender and sex was even a flicker in the DNA sequence of the somewhat sentient slimes that would someday become your species. I’m a god, Seokjin.”

“But you look human,” Jin mumbled. You noticed his cheeks and ears had begun to take on a reddish hue. It was kind of cute.

“Sure I do. I like this shape. But it’s not my true form.”

“What is?”

“Your eyes would burn from your skull and your brain would melt into sludge if you saw my true shape even in your peripherals. Why are you so pink?”

Jin blinked. “What?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to a human, or a hybrid,” you explained. “I seem to have forgotten their ways a bit. And most of the time the color they change around me is a paler hue. Or purple, occasionally, when one has choked on something and been unable to breathe…”

Jin swallowed audibly. “Ch—Choke on something?”

He touched his mouth, his cheeks brightening more. You could hear his heart thudding rapidly. That was a familiar scent… You moved forward a little, surprised that he didn’t shy away, and sniffed. Oh. Oh. You smirked.

“Hm…”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” You backed up, letting him relax a little. “Well, I’m going back to my space. Perhaps next time I come out, you won’t screech at me.” You sank down and Jin scrambled up.

“Wait!” He reached out, touching your shoulder before you slid under the bed. His hands were firm. And big. You felt your own body begin to warm up.

“Yes?”

“What is your space? Do you just… Live under my bed?”

“In a way. I live in the depths of the shadows under your bed that allow my form to transcend the plane of this existence and rest in an area of my own design.”

Jin blinked owlishly at you. “Uh…”

“Portal. To another dimension. Under bed.” You spoke in simpler terms, assuming his humanoid mind was unable to compute. He nodded slowly, ears twitching.

“So when you’re in there… Can you… See up here? What I am doing?”

“If I choose.”

“Well, don’t choose.”

You blinked, scowling a little at the firmness of his tone. What did he mean by that? Was he intending to tell someone about you? That would be a problem. Most humanoids and humans you scared were too terrified to have a conversation about what you were. People would think they were nuts. But this one… Seemed different. He smelled different, that was for sure. Almost like he was interested in you.

“Well, I’m going to go now. I’ll see you again.”

“Knock on the wall before you come up next time. It’s scary when you just appear like that.”

“Right. Bad eyes.” You smiled at him. “I’ll knock.”

You sank back down on the floor sliding fluidly under the bed, oozing into the shadows. You heard the bed creak before you fully disappeared and peeked out, a simple black mass with red eyes. You met Jin’s wide gaze and smiled… Not that he knew it was a smile �� Before disappearing into the shadows.

You tried to rest. You really did. Floating along in a sea of nothingness, the distant screams of a billion galaxies colliding, dying, and reforming all at once. It was normally a lullaby to you. But tonight, your mind wandered. Not to the murder and bloodshed of a million cruel lesser Gods, or the agonizing scream of terror as someone is riddled with nightmares from your very presence… But rather… Of Jin. Seokjin. The hamster boy Jin. His ears looked so soft, you wished you could pet them. And his big, dark eyes… That soft smattering of fur. The balls it took to bite you.

Heaving a sigh, you unwound yourself from your tentacles and drifted back up to the space where your world connected with his. You slipped out from the shadows, peeking out from under the bed. It was dark in his room – he must be sleeping. You could smell him above you, that musky fur scent, the bitter scent of human- sweat, the rich scent of sex. A pang shot through you. Sex. Was he mating with someone?

As if on command, the bed creaked, and Jin whimpered softly. You could smell no one else, only him. In the silence, you could hear a slick squelching noise, and a soft, electronic babble from a device on the bed. Curiosity piqued, you slid further out, peeking up over the edge of the bed. Jin was stretched out on top of the covers, naked. You could see a smattering of the same creamy light fur on his chest and belly. His fist was sliding rapidly up and down his hard cock, glistening with lube and precome. His head was turned, earphones over his round, twitching ears. You peeked a little further, spotting the laptop on his bedside stand. The video on it was some sort of cartoon. A male figure was being suspended in the air by a multitude of tentacles, his ass being spread open as one drove into him in an obscene manner. His mouth was filled as well, tears streaming down his face.

You couldn’t deny that the video was quite attractive. You glanced back at Jin and smirked. So that smell earlier was arousal. You were right. Hm. Well the feeling was mutual… Why should he have to do this alone?

Slow and careful, not wanting to terrify your skittish roommate, you slid one tentacle up over the bed. Moving slowly, you reached the laptop and poked the pause button. Jin’s hand hesitated and he scowled, eyes widening when he spotted the tentacle on the keyboard. He looked down at the foot of the bed. You grinned and waved another tentacle at him.

“What the fuck?!” Jin howled, yanking his blanket over his lap and jerking the headphones from his head. The fabric was raised ever so slightly where his erection was, doing nothing to really hide it from you.

“Sorry,” you apologized, “you were masturbating to tentacles…” Jin reached out and snapped the laptop shut, nearly pinching the tip of your tentacle in the process.

“So what? It’s my room!”

“It’s a room we share,” you corrected, moving out from the bed and coming around. “I was worried you were going to tell someone about me with how determined you were that I didn’t come back through… And I couldn’t stop thinking about you in other ways, so I was going to come back to talk and… I stumbled onto this.”

Jin remained silent, his lips pinched in annoyance. You smirked and moved closer to the bed, noting that he didn’t cringe away this time.

“So that scent from earlier was arousal.”

“What scent?”

“Oh, I smell you very well. When I talked about choking humans… I smelled what seemed like human arousal. But I figured I was just imagining it. Why would a pretty humanoid like you be aroused by me?” You reached out with a tentacle, brushing the smooth skin of Jin’s chin. His eyes fluttered shut.

“I’m interested in you too, you know. I’ve never had a human so brave face me down. I admire that.” You hesitated and looked at his lap, the blanket still lifted. “Shall I help with that?”

“Wh—” Jin’s eyes snapped open. “What? No, please, I’m so ashamed,” he lamented, setting a pillow over the spot.

“Why are you ashamed? You are decently endowed for a humanoid of your height and weight ratio. The phallus seemed healthy and firm, and I sense no chemical influences so it can be safely assumed that you can get and maintain an erection capable of breeding, with no help.”

Jin’s cheeks reddened more and more as you spoke.

“Please!” He cried, waving his hands in front of him. “Stop talking about it like that.”

“Oh.” You frowned a little. “I suppose that wouldn’t be arousing for you… If you were wanting me to speak in a way that aroused you… I suppose I should rather say that your cock is beautiful… It looks so hard and I’d love to make you come…”

You heard Jin’s heartrate pick up and couldn’t help but smirk. “Would you like that, Jin? For me to make you come?”

Jin swallowed hard and nodded, meeting your dark eyes.

A tentacle shot out, knocking the pillow out of the way. It yanked the blanket down, revealing Jin’s cock, still mostly hard despite the conversation.

You moved down to the foot of the bed, relaxing and allowing more tentacles to emerge. Jin’s eyes grew wide as you did, darting from side to side as he seemed to try to process.

“You enjoy this,” you said. It was a question you already knew the answer to.

“Yes.”

God, that felt good to hear. You slid a group of tentacles up over Jin’s chest, feeling the smooth skin and delicate hairs. Your touch left goosebumps in its wake, and Jin shuddered softly.

You used another set of tentacles to push open his thick, muscular thighs. You made a soft noise of surprise. At the base of his spine, visible when he spread his legs, was a tiny tuft of fur, and a fuzzy tail. Only about two inches, thin and blunted, it was potentially the most adorable thing you had seen on a humanoid being in all your time living with them.

More tentacles to lift Jin’s hips off the bed.

“Oh my—Your tail,” you commented helplessly. You reached out with your human-ish hand and grabbed it, petting the soft fur above it. Jin’s entire body went tense, and you watched his cock twitch. You cocked a brow. “Oh…”

Curious, you tugged the tail, ever so lightly, and Jin grunted. You pulled again, with the same response. A third time, and he moaned softly.

“Please—Stop pulling my tail,” he pleaded.

“Why? Does it hurt?”

“N—No.”

You smirked. “So then, it’s good…” You tugged once more and Jin’s back arched off the tentacles suspending it.

“Please—” He whined.

“Would you like my help, Seokjin? I could make you feel quite good.”

Jin huffed, swallowing hard. “Th—This is so strange.”

“Mhm. I’ve never, if I may be blunt, seen such a willing person.” You let one thin tentacle circle around the tight rim of Jin’s hole, leaving a trail of slick fluid behind. “I’d love to see just how much you want.”

“Everything,” Jin confessed, his body relaxing against your tentacles.

“What was that?”

“I want everything…” Jin opened his eyes, blinking a few times before focusing on you. “If you want it, I—” He nodded. He let his thighs fall open further, smirking. “I want it.”

Excitement coursed through your body. He was so willing, so aroused. It was the most intriguing and exciting thing you’d done in a millennia.

You pushed the leaking, swollen tip of the tentacle into Jin’s tight heat, barely able to resist moaning. His rim clamped down around your tentacle like a vise, coaxing a little of your warm slick to squirt from the tip. You were gonna wreck this pretty rodent.

You drove the tentacle deeper into him, smirking when you reached a resistance. Jin whimpered, biting his bottom lip.

“Deep—“ he whined.

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Yes—” Jin groaned. You pushed your second tentacle in; this one a little thinner and slicker. Jin shouted, his back arching. The movement tightened the skin of his stomach. You gasped, spotting the barely there swell. You worked the thinner tentacle up to where the first was and relaxed, letting it balloon and expand. The swell in his belly grew, and you groaned, reaching forward and touching it. You could feel yourself in his body.

Jin tried to lay back on the bed, hiding the beautiful swell. You reached out with two of your tentacles, catching him and arching his back once more.

“I like this,” you growled.

Jin sobbed brokenly, and you worried for a moment you’d hurt him. But his cock was hard and leaking, and his face was twisted up in a grin.

“___— Please...”

“I’ll take care of you,” you promised him. You wrapped a tentacle around his neck, letting your suckers rub over the smooth skin there. So easily torn. Jin’s cock twitched on his belly and he moaned. You began to squeeze his throat, ever so gently. You relaxed your grip and prodded his plush, swollen lips with the flattened tip of another tentacle. the movement left behind a glossy, oil slick sheen.

“No biting this one, Jin,” you warned. He huffed and rolled his eyes, opening his mouth. You slid the tentacle in, sighing as Jin eagerly lapped at it sucking softly. You stroked the smooth flesh of his tongue with your tip before sliding deeper. You bumped his uvula, smirking when he coughed.

“Open wide.”

Jin did his best to obey, and you pushed in, nudging past his tonsils and down his throat. His eyes bulged and he swallowed, squeezing your tentacle delightfully. Cool air whistled past it as he struggled to breathe.

“You liked being choked, didn’t you?” You cooed, squeezing his throat once more.

Jin’s cock throbbed on his stomach and began to shoot come onto his belly. His eyes rolled back and he gagged hard, moan muffled. His ass clenched rhythmically around your tentacles, milking fluid from them.

You couldn’t help but laugh even as you moaned from the stimulation. Two suckered tentacles slid up, rubbing through the hot come on his belly and up to tease his hard nipples. Jin sobbed what sounded like your name, but you couldn’t be sure. You allowed the rest of your tentacles to surround Jin, touching and rubbing and leaving little streaks of oily slick on his smooth, clean skin. The one that started this all, wrapped firmly around his dainty tail, yanked once more.

You’d been saving the best for last. A tentacle no thicker than his pinkie wound up his leg. You could feel his muscles quivering from the overstimulation, his breath whistling around your tentacle firmly lodged down his throat, his eyes already rolling back. Up, through the mat of curly dark pubic hair, around his still hard shaft, stroking and squeezing. It was so warm and smooth. Your mouth watered. You’d have to taste it one of these days. And finally his tip.

The tentacle released and touched the tip of his cock. Jin’s eyes widened, still somewhat unfocused. Slow and steady, you let the tip your tentacle open, sliding down, down, swallowing Jin’s cock.

You moaned, quivering as you were filled with his thick girth. It had been a century since you let something penetrate you in this way. His cock was perfect, solid and warm and hit every single spot inside your channel just right.

Jin reached out with the hand not being held by a tentacle and grabbed his cock, rubbing his fingers lightly over the smooth outside of your tentacle. He began to stroke, up and down, firmly, jerking off with your body.

You moaned brokenly, head falling back. Your tentacles caught you as you sagged, legs spread. A pressure built deep in your guts as he used your channel to jerk off, sucking the tentacle in his mouth and clenching his ass around the ones inside him. He knew exactly how to drive you wild. This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair— He was just a human—

You screamed his name as you came around his cock, squirting thick and wet. Jin moaned, gagging hard when the tentacle in his throat swelled a bit.

He continued to jerk off with your tentacle, his eyes losing their focus once more. He was going to come again, you could feel it. The wet squelch of your released as he used your hole filled the room. It was music to your ears.

A tentacle whipped forward and grabbed his wrist, yanking it off his cock and pinning it to the bed. You wrapped another tentacle around his cock, squeezing yourself against him as you began to jerk it.

“You’re gonna come in me, Jin,” you cooed.

He tried to nod.

“I’m going to come in you.” His eyes rolled back, a full body shudder making you moan as well. Enough foreplay.

The tentacles holding Jin’s arms and legs went taut, pulling his arms above his head and forcing his legs open wide. You jammed a third, slender tentacle up his gaping asshole for good measure, shuddering at the impossible tightness of it.

At once, every tentacle buried inside your new humanoid plaything began to thrust, the room filled with the obscene glugging noises of his throat and the wet squelch of his ass as you added more natural lubricant. You were still pumping his cock with your other tentacle, squeezing that and his throat playfully.

Jin came first again - not that you were surprised. You moaned as he spilled ropes of come into your channel, swelling it a bit. You continued to milk him with the slender tentacle and the one wrapped around it. Another tentacle slipped up to play with his balls, urging every drop of come out of them and into you. You moaned softly at that, smiling down at him. Time to return the favor.

You began to fuck his throat hard and fast, mouth hanging open in pleasure as he choked on you. Jin’s eyes screwed shut and you growled. “Look at me, pretty.”

He struggled to do so, drool and your own slick bubbling up around the tentacle in his throat. His throat was painfully tight.

“You wanted me to choke you. Is this how you wanted it, Jin?” You purred.

Jin nodded, gagging and coughing hard. His eyes rolled back in his head, cock dribbling once more into the slick channel of your tentacle.

“That’s it… Give it all to me, baby. I’ll give you what you want too. Swallow it.”

Your body tensed, a knot of pleasure squeezing tight and drawing all of your nerves to a near painful edge. The tentacle began to spurt down Jin’s throat. He coughed hard, some of the dark fluid escaping around his mouth and nose. A tentacle caught the back of his head, holding it as you pumped your release down his throat.

You threw your head back, moaning loudly. At the same time, you continued to fuck his ass, your secondary climax nearing.

Some of your smaller tentacles that you’d been using to tease his tail and skin began to spurt as well, streaking thick, hot ropes of dark, oily release over his heaving chest and tearstained face. And over his tense stomach, now swelling with amount of fluid you were pumping down his throat.

Your second climax ripped a scream from your throat, surprising you. The tentacles buried in Jin’s ass began to spurt, shudders wracking your body as you filled his with release.

A pressure grew in the base of your groin and you whimpered. With fuzzy eyes, you watched the base of the tentacle swell just a little larger than a chicken egg, before moving down the length of the tentacle. And another… Another… Seven total eggs made their way down your length. The first caught on Jin’s clenched rim, making him sob wet and broken around your tentacle.

“Shh… Let me in,” you whispered.

Jin seemed to try to relax. You shuddered and strained, helping work the thick egg into Jin’s body. It slipped past the rim and down the inserted part of your tentacle. You moaned and shuddered when it released. Time to repeat. Again, and again, you worked the eggs into Jin, tiny aftershocks of orgasm washing over you each time your tentacle ejected one.

Jin’s stomach was swollen with come and eggs, and his body was lax, eyes half closed and glassy with exhaustion.

You pulled out slowly, smirking a little at the little rivers of come that followed both from his ruined ass and his mouth. Carefully, you laid him back onto the bed, still cocooning him with your tentacles as you crawled onto the bed and kissed his sweaty cheek.

“Still with me?”

“Mhm…” Jin touched his stomach. “Eggs?” He croaked, as if speaking through a mouth full of caramel.

“Yes. They will dissolve harmlessly within you in a few hours, don’t be alarmed. I should have warned you.”

“No, not at all… It’s good. I liked it… I feel so full…”

“You look absolutely ruined.”

Jin blinked tiredly at you, looking mildly concerned. You smirked and kissed his come stained lips. “It’s a beautiful look. We should get you cleaned up, shouldn’t we?” You sat up, your tentacles slinking back into your body. Jin reached out, grabbing one and holding onto it.

“Do you like being this way better?”

“I have no preference, but it’s more comfortable with some of them out,” you admitted. “I’m not used to using these.” You held up your human-ish hands.

“Leave them out then. I like them.”

“They don’t frighten you?”

Jin’s ear twitched. “No. Not now.”

A smile crossed your face before you could stop it. “I’ve never really let a human look at me so long.”

Jin ran his hand up your tentacle, his soft skin tickling and warming you. “I’m so different from you. Why did this happen?”

You hesitated at his question, unsure how to answer. Jin smiled when you did.

“I’m not saying I’m mad or… I dislike it. But the problem is… I’m human. At least human adjacent. And the way I feel emotions… It’s strong but I don’t know how your kind does. I just…” Jin frowned at a spot in the corner, clearly deep in thought. “I guess I just want to know what this is going to be before I let myself get too attached.”

You chuckled a little. “This is absurd.”

“What is?” Jin’s face drooped.

“We’re having this deep conversation... While you’re lying on the bed naked and messy. Come on, let me clean you up. We’ll continue when we’re both a bit more put together.”

You scooped him up with your tentacles, laughing a little at his surprised shout. With minimal effort, you carried him out of the room and down the hall to where you knew the bathroom was located. Jin laughed, wiggling in the firm grip of your tentacles as you did.

“Aren’t I heavy?”

“Not really. Rather light, actually. Do you obtain ample caloric sustenance to maintain humanoid organ function?”

“Do… Do I what?”

“Eat. Enough food,” you supplied. You turned on the water of the bath with another tentacle, turning to face Jin, who was still firmly wrapped in your grip.

“Yes, I eat enough,” Jin huffed. “I’m a good weight.”

“You are certainly well built,” you agreed, letting your eyes roam Jin’s body. Even covered in the oil slick iridescence of your come… He really truly was stunning. Broad shoulders, firm chest, thigh, muscular thighs… Even with the tiny swell in his stomach where your eggs were slowly disintegrating… He likely drew the attention of anyone on the street.

“___...” Jin drifted off. “You’re staring.”

“I’m admiring,” you argued. “Do you have a human partner?”

“No. I’m single.”

“Why?”

Jin blinked, seeming surprised at the question. “I—I don’t know. I guess… Nobody’s ever really struck my fancy.”

“Why not?” You turned, reaching a tentacle out to test the water. Deeming it warm enough, you shifted, settling Jin into it.

“I have no idea. I guess I just know what I’m looking for.”

“And what’s that?”

“Join me?” Jin asked, shifting to sit in the tub and make space.

You let your tentacles disappear back into your body save for a dozen smaller ones, and stripped out of the clothing you’d donned. You crawled into the tub, sighing a little as the warm water lapped over your skin.

“I want someone who is there for me,” Jin continued after a moment. Someone who knows what I need both physically and emotionally, and someone who is willing to let me provide for them too. A give and take.”

“Do you desire offspring?” You reached out and snagged a washcloth, wetting it and adding soap. You began to wash Jin’s skin clean.

“Someday, maybe. Not now. I am young, I wanna use that youth.” Jin shifted, sighing. “I like you, ___.”

“I know you do. And for some bizarre reason… I rather like you too.” You sighed a little, frowning at the confession. It was the truth. That much you knew. But why did it feel so scary?

“Bizarre? Have you never liked a human before? Or a… Hybrid?”

“No.” You continued to wash his shoulders and back. “I tend to just scare the pants off them and call it good.”

Jin laughed a little. “Well you got my pants off in some way, it just wasn’t by scaring me.”

“Oh, I scared you,” you argued, laughing as well. “You threw a book at my head.”

“A giant tentacle monster appeared in my room, of course I threw something at you.”

“You also bit me.”

“I’m starting to think you liked it.”

You paused, brows raising. “I guess… I sort of did.”

Jin’s smile faded a little, the laughter dying. “I asked you a question in the room, ___.”

“You did.”

“And you didn’t answer.”

“Because I didn’t know how to. I still don’t.”

“Do you have feelings? Like… Happiness or sadness or affection?”

You nodded. You sank down a little more in the tub, and Jin reached out, gently sliding his hands over your legs and tentacles where he could reach. “I do. I’m sure it’s slightly different but the result is the same. I do find you interesting, both physically and otherwise. I want to get to know you more, and spend time with you. Being on this plane of existence is… Different. I don’t normally do it, but I feel content to be in this form, because it means a chance to learn more about you. I’d watched you for a while before but… Face to face.”

“I understand.” Jin took the cloth and washed his face and ears. “So, you do like me then.”

You nodded once.

“And I like you,” Jin continued. He set the cloth in the water, using the tip of one finger to gently slide it back and forth.

“It would seem that way. For some strange reason.”

Jin smiled softly. He scooped up the cloth and ran it gently over one of your tentacles. The slightly rough texture sent shivers through your body, and you couldn’t stop the smile that formed.

“That feels nice.”

Jin shifted, the sound of the water sloshing in the small tub the only answer he gave you for the moment. The tub was truly too small for the both of you, but he was able to make it work, shifting over to settle closer. He used the cloth to wash over the exposed tentacles and the humanoid form of your body, meeting your gaze every few seconds. His ears were perked forward, nose and whiskers twitching.

You reached out with a free tentacle, stroking his back and running down to his ass. You touched his tail. The fur was soft and silky where it seemed to blend into his skin, and his tail was covered in the same soft down. It wiggled a little under the water and Jin made a small noise between a squeak and a sigh.

“Just don’t pull it,” he whispered.

“We know what that does. Is it difficult?” You asked. You let go of his tail in favor of stroking along his smooth back.

“Is what difficult?”

“You’re a hybrid. I know your kind is not common still. I’ve never seen one of your species specifically.”

“It can be. I’m a pretty timid animal by nature. So I used to get bullied. But I enjoy being different. In the long run. It’s what makes me who I am and I wouldn’t change that.”

“That’s admirable. You are a beautiful specimen.” When Jin frowned, you paused.

“Being. I don’t mean specimen as an insult.”

“I know,” Jin sighed, sitting back. He pulled his knees up to his chest. The air in the bathroom seemed to thicken a little, and you frowned. Though human emotions weren’t your forte, you could still sense enough of the shift in Jin to get it.

“I’ve upset you.”

“You haven’t. Not on purpose.” Jin rose and grabbed a towel, beginning to dry himself off. His stomach was back to normal, and it felt like all sense of afterglow had worn off. You followed suit, rising and opening the tub drain. As you stepped out of the tub, you allowed your powers to work, drying your body and re-clothing it instantly. As you did, Jin turned around, about to offer you a towel. His face drooped when he saw you clothed.

“Oh.” He pulled it back and looked at it for a moment before dropping it into the hamper and heading back toward the bedroom. You followed from a safe distance, unsure how to help the humanoid you’d found yourself so attached to.

When you reached the bedroom, you hesitated at the foot of the bed while Jin stripped the mattress, messy from your activities.

“Jin…”

He glanced at you, but said nothing. Instead he tossed the sheet into a hamper and went the closet, digging around to get a clean one. He hesitated, rubbing at the back of his ear.

“Jin.” You repeated yourself more firmly. He turned, his whiskers twitching.

“You’re not human.”

“No, of course I’m not.”

“Even with the… The tentacles. It’s easy to forget. You look humanoid.”

You nodded.

“But then you do something like… Like what you did in the bathroom or you call me a specimen like I’m so different and I just—I like you, ___. But can you like me? Do you want to get to know me and maybe be… Something more?”

“Of course I do, Jin,” you answered. And the reality of it was – you were being honest. You stepped forward, reaching out with your tentacles to pull him closer. When he was near enough, you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling his neck. “I want to know you. You’re the first human I’ve ever wanted to be around like this. I know we’re different… I’m sorry I’ve upset you. I don’t mean to.”

“I’m not upset, ___. I just know things are… Difficult.”

“They don’t need to be.”

You stepped back and shifted a little, the tentacles sliding into your body. You changed your clothing with a simple thought into something a little baggier, pulling your left arm more out of view in the fabric. “I can look human. I can be anything you need to make you comfortable.”

Jin pouted a little, his plush bottom lip sliding out. “But this isn’t you. I don’t want you to change. I like you.” He pushed the sleeve up and grabbed your tentacled arm. “I like all of you. If you meet my friends, of course… This works, but… When it’s me. I just want you to be yourself. As much as you can be.”

“I don’t frighten you? Make you feel different?”

“You do.” Jin shrugged. “But that can be okay.” He sighed softly and reached up, stroking your cheek. The motion was unfamiliar to you, but not unwelcomed. You could feel the calluses on the pads of his thumbs from use, hear his pulse throbbing softly against his wrist, feel the brush of his fingers against the baby hairs on your current form’s face. It was soothing. Your eyes fluttered shut and you smiled a little.

“Do that again…” You whispered when Jin pulled his hand away. He repeated the motion, and then on the other side, cupping your face in his hands.

“___.”

You opened your eyes, surprised to see him so close to you, his dark gaze trained on yours. “Have you ever been kissed?”

“No.”

“Never? Wh—”

“It’s never really come up,” you admitted.

“Well… I’m going to kiss you, okay?”

“O—Okay.”

Jin closed the gap between your faces, tilting his head a little as his eyes closed. His lips pressed against yours, soft and silky. You could feel his breath tickling your cheek, and you giggled a little.

Jin pulled back, a smile of confusion brightening his face. “What are you laughing at?”

“Humans do this a lot?” You asked. “I’m sorry, it feels funny,” you laughed a little.

Jin laughed too, nodding. “They do. It’s an affection thing… But now that I think about it, you are right, it’s kinda weird.”

“It’s cute,” you said, reaching up and touching his cheek. “I don’t hate it. I’ll do it if you like it. But know I might laugh every time you do.”

Jin nodded, kissing you again quickly. “It’s okay. You have a delightful laugh. I want to hear it more…” He sighed softly, seeming to search your face for something unknown.

You remained quiet, letting him look. Being honest, it gave you a chance to really look at him. Humans – even humanoid hybrids like Seokjin… Were so simple. Their genetic makeup was easily replicated, reproduced, altered. You could reach out with your true self and shatter his genome sequence. You could change him completely – turn him into a hideous monster, or a beautiful human, devoid of any rodent features. You could kill him, or make him live a thousand years longer. Simple creatures. Yet there was one thing that even you – with all your age and knowledge… Couldn’t master.

Their minds.

Sure, you could scare or arouse one, you could tweak simple emotions, but not for long. They always compensated. And each one compensated differently. Some coped, some panicked, some lost their minds. The answer to the human equation had long eluded you. Not that you’d bothered to care much before now. Before this humanoid being had blazed into your existence. And now… You found yourself caring, but not to overpower or control humans. But to make the one that was offering himself to you… Happy. The feeling was foreign. You didn’t want to scare or change or fiddle with this one. You just wanted to be with him.

Cautiously, you reached your hand up, letting your fingers brush over his whiskers, then up, over his large ears, covered in soft, fur. They twitched, as did Jin’s nose, and you smiled.

“Do you eat?” Jin asked suddenly.

“Eat?”

“Yeah, like food. Burgers or rice or a steak…”

“I am capable of it, yes. I can almost perfectly mimic a humanoid existence in this form.”

“Wanna get a midnight snack?”

“Shouldn’t you sleep? Humanoids need an ample number of hours of sleep per night in order to maintain proper f—”

“You’re worth a night of no sleep,” Jin cut you off.

“I—I am?”

Jin grinned broadly. “Of course you are. I want to learn more about you. I want to spend more time with you. Do you have to… Go back? To your… Space, I guess?”

“Not with any pressing need. It simply exists because I’ve created it.”

“I want to know more about it. More about what you can create.” Jin took your hand, and your tentacle. “Everything.”

“There is far too much to tell.”

“Then we’ll just have to spend more time together. Is that alright?”

“It is.” You felt the smile spreading across your face before you could stop it.

What a human response. Could spending time around this human make you more of one? The thought would have been horrifying to you a month ago. Now… Looking at Jin’s bright gaze, and broad smile… Maybe a little humanity was exactly what you needed.

One tentacle drifted out and over to the radio on Jin’s dresser, poking the play button. The same male voice from your meeting earlier in the day filled the air, though it was an entirely different song now.

“You’ll never make me leave, I wear this on my sleeve…”

Jin’s eyes darted to the radio before landing back on your face. “I thought this was horrible noise?” He asked, a grin causing his cheeks to fill out adorably.

“Give me a better cause to lead…”

“I can learn to like it. I want to. For you.” You closed the space between your faces this time, kissing Jin’s soft mouth gently.

“Give me a reason to believe…”

#thebtswritersclub #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #reader insert #seokjin smut #bts x reader #mywriting #kim seokjin #seokjin

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adarlingwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Dormouse

Summary:

After playing a game with two of The Beach's most dangerous members, the dormouse gets her tail caught by a tiger's paw.

He’ll make a wildcat out of her.

TWs/CWs: Mildly dubious consent, hatefucking, gunplay, Niragi being a bastard. Dead dove, do not eat.

Author’s Notes: I was debating on whether or not I should write the sm*t in detail. I'm normally opposed to writing scenes even with the mildest hints of noncon or dubcon in detail, but Yamane's experience with Niragi will serve as a point of comparison later, so I kept it. Hopefully it’s the right decision.

they say I don't get scared so easily / feel free to show me the roaches / and spiders that creep in your mattress

The pill bottle rattles as Yamane pours one in her palm.

It’s been five days since her arrival. Since then, she met other members of the militant faction, and while some of them aren’t as bloodthirsty as Niragi, Yamane still hasn't come to terms with the reality that she’s considered one of them now.

To Yamane’s surprise and secret relief, Saiko has calmed down, and introduced her to the other female militants. It seems that there are only three of them; four, if you count Yamane in.

One girl was called Hanako, who was a little shy, and she usually wears a gray bikini pair that doesn’t quite expose all of her skin. She was the one who took her to the storage room to get changed after getting treated by Sunohara.

“These bikinis suck,” Yamane complains to herself, sorting through the assortment of garments. “None of them fits my style,” Yamane picks up several bikini tops, and a long black wraparound.

Taking one of her daggers out, Yamane trims the straps off of the tops. The Beach confiscated her bag, so she had no access to her usual tools, but they let her keep the sewing kit she keeps in her skirt pocket. Hanako watches as Yamane sewed in the storage room, deft fingers altering the garment despite one of her arms being immobilized.

“What did you do before you came here?” Hanako asks, watching the needle as Yamane sews, obviously bored and using the seemingly mundane task to entertain herself.

“Made clothes,” Yamane replies, eyes flicking to the other girl as she went on with her task. She holds out the newly finished top: a black bikini top with a pentagram design on the chest.

“Cool,” the other girl comments, sitting a little closer to Yamane, who moves on to the long black skirt, tearing through the sides. She sheds her own skirt, cuts out the rings that decorated it, and uses it to secure the sides. She then trims some excess length from the wraparound.

“Hey, um, could you help me get dressed?” Yamane asks, and Hanako obliges.

When they’re done, Yamane looks at herself in the mirror. The twin buns on her head had gotten messy; she can’t really style them properly due to her injury. She wore her usual cropped hoodie on top of her new Beach garments, and Hanako helped her get her shoulder brace back on. She still couldn’t believe Sunohara had one lying around in her clinic. The Beach really does have a lot of resources to spare.

Yamane then slips on some platform beach sandals, and the two militants emerge from the storage room. Another of them is waiting outside.

“What was taking so long?!” this one asks, crossing her arms. She wore a hoodie with red and black stripes on top of her swimwear, her hair dyed brown and pulled back into a ponytail. “Whatever, Niragi’s looking for you. Come with me.”

“What does he want with me?” Yamane asks, but the girl doesn’t reply. Yamane follows her anyway. The men who brought her here had been lingering in her thoughts for quite some time, and she wanted to ask a few questions.

As they pass through a few rooms, Niragi comes into view with Saiko and they pull her into a room.

“You can go now, Akari,” he tells the woman with the striped hoodie.

They didn’t bother closing the door.

“We can finally pick up where we left off, mousy,” Niragi taunts, pushing Yamane down the bed and toying with the hem of her bikini top. He licks the dip between the two mounds on her chest, and Yamane takes a sharp inhale.

She looks at the man before her, and considers the conflicted feelings he draws out of her. He's loud, he's a bastard, and he takes what he wants without asking. He probably touched other girls without their consent too.

Yamane hated him.

On a normal day, Yamane would be disgusted with someone like him, and herself for enjoying this, but Niragi stirred something dark and primal within her, and the past few days had taken a toll on her judgment, so Yamane kissed him herself, desire and revulsion blending at the pit of her stomach.

Niragi’s eyes widen, but he smirks against Yamane’s lips, darting his tongue in her mouth and claiming her. The piercing on his tongue is an interesting feeling, and Yamane didn’t have any complaints. Yamane’s dark lipstick stains Niragi’s lips. In the background, Saiko gives them a knowing laugh.

“My, my, you want this, little mouse?”

Yamane is no longer in proper society; she didn’t have any reasons to pretend that she didn’t want this. It’s been a long time since she got laid anyway, and it certainly isn’t the first time she fucked someone she hated.

The first time was with a sleazy upperclassman in high school. It felt great, watching the chauvinist pig beg and writhe underneath her, but word got around, and his on-and-off girlfriend wasn’t happy.

“You could’ve just asked instead of grabbing me, bastard. It still doesn’t change the fact that I hate you.”

Niragi grins, and grabs her jaw to kiss her again. Yamane made herself pliable, but she swore not to show any sign of enjoyment. That’s one thing that she wouldn’t give Niragi.

Meanwhile, Niragi had moved on to her neck, trying to draw another reaction from her, but she stayed still. He spreads Yamane’s legs apart, running his tongue against her thigh, pauses, and runs it through her belly, up to her breasts. He pulls her bikini top up, and flicks his tongue against her hardening nipples, alternating between the two, the piercing cold against it. All he could get from her was a small shiver.

“So you’ve come to accept human nature. That was faster than expected, Yamane. I had the feeling that we’ll get along the moment I saw you kill that man. Left to our own devices, we humans will kill, pillage, and rape,” Niragi croons in her ear before sucking on that sensitive spot between her neck and ears. Yamane did her best to stifle a moan, and Saiko laughed at her attempt at staying in control.

“The circumstances forced me to kill, and you know it. You know nothing about me, Niragi.”

The militant withdraws from her, sees that there’s no longer any fear in her eyes, and gives her a questioning look. “Maybe the rumors on the tabloids are true, and she’s so used to doing this kind of thing that this doesn’t bother her anymore,” Niragi muses. Then, he leans back in and kisses Yamane’s neck again, his breath kissing the shell of her ear.

“That’s no fun at all.”

He motions Saiko to fetch his rifle, and Niragi points it at the dormouse’s face.

Now, the fear is back. Saiko got behind her and restrained her. Yamane thrashed and trembled as Niragi glided the barrel against her lips.

“Let’s see if there’s any truth to them. Open your mouth.”

Carefully, Yamane does as she’s told, sweat starting to form at her brow. Niragi slides the barrel in.

“Suck. Let’s see how good you are before I try you myself.”

Running her tongue against the barrel, Yamane maintains eye contact, the corners of her eyes wet. The gun is still warm. Enclosing her lips around the tip, Yamane takes a deep inhale, closes her eyes and starts to bob her head. Her lipstick was barely visible on the black metal.

“Here I thought you’ve already learned your lesson,” Niragi hisses, pushing the little dormouse’s skirt aside and shoving a hand in her underwear. His finger circled her clit, spreading her wetness, and Yamane couldn’t stop the moan that bubbled from her throat.

“The circumstances didn’t force you to kill. It just brought the killer out of you. You’ll kill to survive. That's our nature. That’s your nature,” he sneers, squeezing Yamane’s clit with his thumb and index finger, drawing a sharp cry from her. “Besides, didn’t you leave that little girl to hide alone? You probably did that because you know to yourself that she’s going to be a hindrance to your own survival. Did you?”

Yamane sobs at the bitter truth, the tears falling from her eyes.

“I knew it.”

Niragi withdraws his gun from her mouth, stands on the bed, and unzips his pants. He pulls his cock out of its confines, giving it a few strokes. His member was pierced too; a magic cross at the glans, and a column of pearls runs underneath the skin of his shaft.

“Bite me, I’ll blow your head off,” Niragi threatens, and Yamane nodded.

Niragi is right about one thing: Yamane will do anything to survive. That’s what she did all her life, after all. Her brain being constantly on survival mode did horrible things to her psyche.

Gliding the tip against the dormouse’s tongue, Niragi smirks, then uses his cock to slap her cheek. From behind, Saiko giggles, staining Yamane’s neck with her lipstick and her hand slipping through the waistband of Yamane’s skirt to toy with her. With a strong shove, Niragi pushes his cock down Yamane’s throat, and she chokes, struggling to accommodate him.

Soon, she finds a steady rhythm, and she encloses her lips around his shaft, sucking all the way to the tip and ending with a wet pop. The precum leaking from his tip glosses over her lips, and Niragi smiles before taking her mouth again.

“I think the tabloids were right. Isn’t that right, you little slut? You like sucking dick?”

Yamane opens her eyes, giving Niragi a deadly glare. In the corner of her eye, she sees a hooded figure by the doorway.

Last Boss is standing there, mouth pressed to a tight line, but his hood obscures his eyes. The party lights outside shine through the room, and for a brief moment, Yamane sees the intensity of the tattooed man’s gaze.

He is looking at the three of them with an expression that Yamane could only describe as envy.

Niragi sees that Yamane’s eyes are going somewhere else, and he turns to that direction.

“Last Boss! You want to join in? This little mouse is pretty nasty,” Niragi invites him, but he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Executive meeting in ten minutes,” he said, and without another saying another word, he leaves.

“Dammit, and I wanted to savor this moment too. Well, you’ve heard him. Let’s get these off. I don’t have all night,” Niragi comments, pulling at her skirt. He flips her over, and gives her ass a hard smack.

“Ass in the air,” he commands, and Yamane obliges, more than happy to do what she can to end this encounter already. “Saiko, help me make the little mouse feel good.”

The tip of his cock glides through her wet folds, and he violently enters her.

Growling to suppress a cry, Yamane braced herself on Saiko’s lap. She hisses at the angle at which Niragi was penetrating her, his piercings rubbing against sensitive spots that she couldn’t reach with her own fingers. She couldn’t hold back anymore; it felt too good. Moans started to escape the dormouse’s lips as the militant continued to pound her from behind.

“You feel so damn good,” Niragi hisses, leaning over to nibble at her ear. He wraps a hand around her neck and pulls her closer to him, kissing her. The new position gave Saiko an opportunity to rub Yamane’s clit with her fingers again, then she kissed her, then Niragi, and she settled on suckling at the other woman’s breasts.

The bombardment of stimulation almost drove Yamane over the edge. Trying to imagine something else so she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of making her cum, Yamane tries to think of other things; Kobayashi and Nakamura’s bodies dissolving in a pool of acid; Sato’s broken neck; Last Boss slicing that delinquent boy’s neck.

Last Boss.

Somehow, thinking of him only made Yamane waver. She imagines him taking her instead, those mad eyes boring through her, piercing her. Instead of fear or disgust, she felt titillation.

Yamane came with a broken cry, white spots dancing behind her eyes.

Saiko pulls her towards her chest as she loses her energy to hold herself up, petting her ruined hair. Behind her, Niragi rubs himself off and finishes on her ass with a grunt, his warm cum shooting to her lower back. He leans forward to lick her good shoulder, then her cheek, and Yamane could feel his weight leave the bed.

“Well, that was fun, mousy. See you later.”

He gets dressed, retrieves his rifle, and leaves the room.

On the bed, Saiko continues petting Yamane’s head.

“Does he really try to take every girl that comes through this place, even if it meant raping them?” Yamane finally asks, face still buried on Saiko’s lap.

“Only the ones he wants to break.”

“Did he fuck you too?”

Saiko pauses. “Yes.”

Rolling over, Yamane looks at the taller woman in the eye. “And this just happens all the time in the Beach?”

Saiko huffs and rolls her eyes, retrieving two sticks of cigarettes and a lighter from her sleeveless olive jacket. “It’s just the way it is here. Everyone is free to do what they want, and that includes crimes. If you don’t want to be a victim of one, you have to be a perpetrator yourself. Hatter tries to keep the order, but he’s falling short. I thought you’d accept it by now.”

Yamane wanted to say, “That’s the most bullshit explanation I’ve ever heard,” but exhausted, defeated, she said, “Well, Niragi can’t break what’s already broken. I’ll continue to pretend not to feel anything, or at least try.”

“Good. That’ll get him to lay off of you. Men like Niragi get off on fear. Show that he doesn’t faze you, he’ll move on to a new target.”

With a bitter laugh, the little mouse opens her mouth, and Saiko places the cigarette between her lips, lighting it.

Yamane didn’t even smoke, but she needed that.

It turns out that Saiko is right. Niragi’s escapades went on for two more nights before he finally dropped her and moved on to a new target. But it still left Yamane sore for days.

Furrowing her brows, Yamane shakes the pill bottle and pours herself another painkiller tablet. She swallows the pills, and downs a glass of water. Stepping out of her room, she descended to the lobby. There’s going to be a game tonight, and she needed to replenish her visa.

The teams are being assigned. Yamane receives her assignment, and gulps as she feels someone’s presence behind her.

“Yamaneko. You’ll come with us,” Last Boss tells her, and Yamane nods.

He shuffles away, towards Aguni and Niragi, and Yamane follows him. Feeling awkward for thinking of him while another man took her, Yamane couldn’t look at him. But of course, he didn’t need to know that.

Sitting next to him in the backseat certainly didn’t help.

Niragi drives like a demon, making her stomach churn, while Aguni sits beside him, eyeing her through the rearview mirror.

“Tonight we’ll see what you’re made of,” the chief says. Niragi grins, while Last Boss gives her a meaningful look. “Let’s see if you’re really the wildcat Last Boss thinks you are.”

“Wow, no pressure at all,” Yamane thinks to herself, exhaling slowly, doing her best to calm her frayed nerves. Still, she felt a twisted sense of pride, looking at Last Boss from the corner of her eyes. The man barely speaks, and he’s a total enigma to Yamane; no one knows his real name, but everyone knows how dangerous he is.

“If he thinks I’m like a wildcat, then he might respect me a little more than Niragi who calls me a mouse.”

He’s staring at her again, and this time, Yamane cranes her neck to stare back.

She opens her mouth to say something, but the car comes to a screeching halt. Yamane lurches forward, while the tall man stays steady in his seat.

“Out the car,” Aguni barks, and everyone steps out. Yamane eyes the venue, and even Niragi seems to stop. It was a high school; Yamane’s alma mater to be exact.

“A high school? Man, this place brings back some bad memories,” Niragi moans, brows furrowing.

“This was my high school. Fuck this place,” Yamane mumbles, putting one hand on her hip.

“No time for nostalgia, we have a game to play,” Aguni scolds them while Last Boss follows him close by. “Are you two coming or not?”

Looking at each other, Niragi and Yamane start following their chief again. The four militants pass through the laser grid, and proceed deeper into the school complex, where the directions are leading them to the field at the back of the school. While passing through the halls, Yamane sees a pile of old desks in an unused room. Among them was her old one, vandalized with words such as “Kill yourself” and “Slut”.

Turning away, Yamane focuses her attention to the game.

Each of them grab a phone from the foldable table at the far end of the field, waiting for registration to close. There are explosive collars and weapons on a separate table, with instructions to wear one collar, and take an optional weapon. There are also instructions that prohibit firearms, which made Niragi groan and put his rifle down. Aguni deposits his pistol as well.

Slipping the explosive collar around her neck, Yamane watches as her fellow militants do the same. Niragi picks up a knife, and so does Aguni, while Last Boss sticks to his katana, and Yamane checks her daggers.

This will either be a Spade game, or another Club. Yamane scans the horizon, the green grass of the field overgrown from the lack of maintenance. She looks at the number of people around, and there are more than fifteen of them in the field. The worst case scenario she can think of is a battle-royale type of game where the last one standing wins. She has no chance against Aguni, Niragi, or Last Boss. But the explosive collar didn’t make sense. The lasers could easily shoot them down if they try to leave the arena, so an explosive collar wouldn’t be necessary.

The synthetic voice chirps from their phones as the last person picks up theirs.

“Registration closed. There are currently twenty players. Difficulty: Four of Spades.”

Yamane’s eyebrows furrow as her suspicions are confirmed.

“Game: Kibasen. Rules: Players must form a group of four, with three acting as the horse, and one as a spear. If the spear is taken out, the entire group is disqualified. Clear condition: Players must eliminate the rival team. Time limit: none.”

“Cavalry battle? I’m surprised that this isn’t classified as a Clubs game.” Yamane comments. “But there are no headbands or caps around. Don’t tell me…”

“The headband is likely the spear’s head,” Aguni grunts. “Wildcat. Be the spear.”

Yamane’s heart starts to race. She can’t do this, not with her injured shoulder. She’ll put the entire team at risk. “You heard Aguni,” Niragi barks, looming over her. “Get on top.”

“Wait a minute. Chief, I think Last Boss should be the spear,” Yamane interrupts, making all three look at her.

“Are you chickening out, little mouse?” Niragi asks her, tilting his head.

“Look at me,” she says, holding her good arm out. “My arm span is short. My daggers are too short. Last Boss is our tallest man. His limbs are longer than mine, and his katana has good range. He can strike farther than I could. Putting him on top would result in a longer, deadlier spear.”

A ponderous look on his face, Niragi turns to Aguni. Yamane’s eyes flick towards Last Boss, who was smiling at her.

“Chief, what do you think?” Niragi asks.

“Last Boss, you’re the spear,” Aguni grunts. “I’ll be the one in front. Niragi, Yamane, take the sides.”

Sighing in relief, Yamane takes her position at her right, which shields her injured left shoulder. “You’re lucky, little mouse,” Niragi whispers, bumping shoulders with her as they ducked, and Last Boss climbs over them.

His cold hand presses against Yamane’s head. “Yamaneko, thank you,” Last Boss tells her, lips curling into a smile. On top of her, he reminded her of a tiger once more, predatory, ready to strike.

She still couldn’t figure him out.

Around them, strangers are forming reluctant alliances, warily eyeing other teams. Soon, all five teams are lined up.

“Wait, are we supposed to fight each other? Where is this rival team?”

As if on cue, a rumble starts from a distance, growing louder, and the synthetic voice booms through the outdoor speakers. “Game Start!”

Through the same entrance they used, teams of masked men ran through, their spears carrying naginatas.

“Well, this should be interesting,” Niragi quips, tongue flicking out of his mouth. The other units of players unaffiliated from the Beach start to run and scream, while Aguni commands them to charge forward.

One unit from the enemy team charges at a friendly team, and lops the spear’s head off. His teammates’ explosive collars go off.

Then, they come face to face with the militants’ unit.

Yamane blows away a stray lock of hair from her face. “Shit. Here we go.”

#alice in borderland #imawa no kuni no alice #fanfic: dormouse #oc: minami yamane #last boss #takatora samura #suguru niragi #morizono aguni #fanfiction #character study #suguru niragi x oc

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jxoxsxsxi · 5 years ago

Note

Fallin all in you- Shawn Mendes

Sander knows it is early when there is no light struggling to get past the curtains.

He squeezes his eyes together in an attempt to fall back asleep, already knowing it is useless. He has it cold and desperately needs to pee.

Sander was debating whether he should get up or not. His muscles still felt weak, just like his energy.

He let out an annoyed sigh, groaning before getting up and turning his bedside lamp on.

A soft sound startles him.

He moves his head so quickly that he can feel a muscle pop.

'Fuck' he whispers while rubbing over his skin.

Robbe is laying peacefully next to him, snuggled in a blanket.

His brown curls spread on the pillow and his lips slightly parted, looking like a real-life angel.

Sander had forgotten for a split second that Robbe had spent the night.

Well, it explained why he was cold. His boyfriend always hogged all the blankets and this night was no exception.

He knows it is a bit creepy, but he can't stop staring at his lover's beautiful face.

Robbe always looks so harmonious when he is sleeping. There is no stress or frowns on his face. The boy looks completely at ease and relaxed.

It gives Sander a weird feeling in his stomach.

The love he felt for his boyfriend became stronger by the day, more mature, more robust.

Robbe was unfailingly kind. He always put others first and himself last. He underplayed his own pains and needs, in order to provide for those he loved.

Sander had been attracted to Robbe from the moment he saw his future boyfriend.

He was just the right blend of shy and sweet. Robbe was quiet and simple, but so amazing.

He was the kindest and most reliable person Sander had ever met.

Reliable, that was the word his therapist had used. Sander frowned when he heard it. Robbe was so much more than just reliable.

Sander loved him with a fiery passion. Robbe was his everything, his anchor, his muse and so much more.

But the man had explained what he meant.

'Reliable is the key for a good relationship. Without it, how can love flourish and grow? Reliability is the cornerstone of trust. You trust Robbe, right?'

Sander had nodded. Of course, he trusted Robbe. He trusted his boyfriend with his life.

Those brown eyes were his home. Sander never felt more calm than when he had Robbe by his side.

He slowly traced the cheekbone of his boyfriend with his fingertips.

Robbe frowned lightly, causing a confused expression on his face.

Sander could feel a smile creeping up his face. He leans forward to press a kiss on Robbe's lips.

The younger boy makes another soft sound. His lips close before slightly opening again. It is so adorable that Sander's chest hurts.

He loves that boy so damn much, it is getting ridiculous.

Sander debates whether he should take one of the three blankets off his boyfriend, but he just can't. Robbe looks so relaxed that Sander can't bear the thought of disturbing him.

So he sighs before getting out of the bed. Sleeping isn't going to work anymore.

He grabs a pair of sweatpants before turning the light back off again and walks towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.

It is extremely quiet outside. Usually there this a lot of traffic since Sander lives next to a busy street, but not today. Probably because it is a Sunday. Or the fact it is six a.m in the morning.

He feels annoyed that he woke up so early. He loves nothing more than waking up next to his boyfriend after a good sleep. Slowly teasing each other while making out lazily.

Sander could have just stayed in bed, but he hates laying there, doing nothing.

He knows from experience that he is going to tease Robbe in the hope the boy wakes up. But he can't do that today. His boyfriend's exam week is approaching and he needs all the sleep he can get.

He hopes that Robbe wakes up before noon otherwise it is going to be very boring for Sander.

All his roommates had gone back home for the weekend so he had invited Robbe since they would have a lot of privacy.

A smirk appears on his face when he recalls the memories. They had used that privacy very well.

Sander still wasn't sure what he thought about living on his own. He loved the freedom and the chillness, but there was so much responsibility. He had to cook, clean, buy groceries. He didn't have an art room as well.

But he thought it was time to move out. If it had been up to Sander, he and Robbe would living together, but it wasn't realistic.

There was no chance that they could afford an apartment together. Robbe thought they were too young as well.

So Sander moved in with some friends of friends that were also students in Antwerp. They were nice people and Sander enjoyed living with them.

Most of them would go home to their parents during the weekend, so sometimes it was a bit lonely, especially when Robbe couldn't stay over.

Sander could go to his parents as well, but he didn't see the point. They lived not even a 15-minute bike ride away.

Here he could do whatever he wanted.

It was a small apartment, but much better than usual student houses. It was modern and light. The only problem was that it was quite noisy.

Sander learned his neighbours' name, but not through an official meeting.

A feeling of embarrassment appears in his stomach when he realised how clearly you can hear everything.

He had been living with his roommates for a week when Robbe stayed over.

Sander will never forget the knowing faces when he entered the kitchen.

It was all good now.

He had already walked in three times on his roommate having sex. There was no awkwardness between them. His roommates were very easy going people.

Sander had been so deep in thought that he walked straight into the doorpost.

He cursed underneath his breath while jumping around. Of course, he had to hit his small toe.

He hisses softly while searching for the light switch in the process knocking over a cheap vase.

Sander sighed loudly. It was going to be so day today apparently.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clouds dominate the morning sky leaving transitory patches of blue. Though they are mostly white, there is a hint of greyness, a suggestion that rain may play a part in the day to come.

Fuck, there goes his idea of surprising Robbe with a picnic.

Sander rolls his eyes.

Maybe he should bring Robbe breakfast in bed instead. Perhaps they could nap for a bit and stay in bed for the rest of the day because Sander felt like he needed it.

Today was just an off day.

The weather was bad, he was moody, his neck hurts and he is slightly limping.

He decides to start cooking already. He can wake Robbe up early if they were going to nap later.

Sander was feeling slightly more at ease while cooking. He enjoyed cooking and trying out new things while softly singing along to David Bowie. Suddenly two arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him from behind.

Robbe rests his head on Sander's neck.

'Good morning baby, slept well?'

The younger boy murmurs something inaudible in response.

Sander turns around so that he can properly hug his boyfriend .

Robbe stands on his tiptoes, hiding his face in Sander's neck.

'You were already gone.'

'Sorry, woke up early' Sander whispers while massaging his boyfriend's scalp.

Robbe pulls back and pouts.

'I don't like it when you are not there when I wake up.'

'I am here now.'

Robbe hums before snuggling back into his boyfriend's neck.

'What are you making?'

'Breakfast for you.'

'Hmm,' Robbe starts giving Sander soft kisses causing goosebumps all over the artist's body.

Sander closes his eyes while enjoying his boyfriend's lips on his sensitive skin.

'I need to turn around again, otherwise, your pancakes will be burned.'

'Go ahead.'

Sander rolls his eyes before turning around, Robbe still tightly hugging his back. A feeling of happiness flooding over him.

'I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed. You have ruined your surprise now'

'I am sorry, baby. Shall I go back to bed?'

Sander just knows his boyfriend is smiling and for that reason, a smile appears on his own face.

'No, now you are going to stay here and keep me warm.'

'Am I now?'

Robbe's tone is light and teasing while he tickles Sander.

'Argh, thats mean.'

Sander turns around. Robbe's brown eyes are twinkling with mischief.

The younger boy pinches his side again causing Sander to squirm.

'Stop that right now.'

'Or what?'

'Or you not going to get your breakfast.'

Robbe smiles while pulling Sander closer.

'Can I have a different kind of breakfast then?'

Sander gets lost for a second in the brown eyes that are looking so happy.

It makes his heart beat faster and his knees weak. His breath falters for a second while he checks his boyfriend out.

Robbe is wearing nothing except Sander's sweater that is slightly too big for him.

'Depends on what kind of breakfast you want, cutie.'

Thanks @chubbychik for proofreading

#wtfock #wtfock fanfic #drabble #Send me a one direction song and I will give you a headcanon #or any song

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moonchildsaurora · 5 years ago

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The Racer who chased supernovas

»»—— Crew Member #7 of Space Pirates ATEEZ ——««

all aboard The Perihelion, welcome to the co-pilot’s log system! here you’ll be able to access the crew’s profiles should you wish to read about their journeys: (no nsfw content)

[CAPTAIN] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

“your wings have always existed, all you have to do is fly and fly high for the winds will be at your command”

the other individual that you could pick out from a crowd, especially by his high-pitched laughter

full of charisma and a youthful soul, he attracts all kinds of attention and has trouble reigning in his recklessness at times

Wooyoung is an Alxil-Rolgrie mix who survived on his own in the lower district of Liyutania, the other member of The Perihelion who didn’t really know the meaning of family until his path crossed with the others

[database file: Rolgries are very much human-like beings, only distinguishing features are their strikingly light-coloured hair (that comes in shades of ivory, lilac, silver and/or coral), heterochromatic eyes and slightly translucent pale skin. This is due to their inherent ability to camouflage with their surroundings, like a chameleon, if they so wish to. Alxils are a nomadic sub-group of Dark Elves, preferring to keep to themselves. Having darker hair along with a more ash-grey skin, glowing red eyes and defined elongated ears]

Wooyoung seemingly took on more of his Rolgrie heritage in terms of physical appearance & ability. His hair is of a lilac-coral mix (that resembles the hues of sunset as Yeosang once said), an indigo-coloured left eye & violet-coloured right eye, slight translucent ash skin and the Alxil elongated ears

his camouflaging ability came to him since his youngling years though he didn’t really master it until his adolescence. Used to need all the concentration he could muster just to hold a full blend or to make sure it was the correct blend in the first place but now he could hide his entire self easily with his eyes closed

this has proven to be extremely beneficial for him to make his way around town undetected and a free-‘get-me-out-of-this-mess’-pass

though Yeosang made him pinky promise not to use that during their childhood games of hide-and-seek because he knows Woo would cheat to win

“I would never!”

“…you literally have been standing there all this time and I’ve just walked past you at least 10 rounds making me look like an idiot”

“gotta admit that was pretty fun-OW OK OK!!”

the lower district community did look out for Wooyoung, knowing that the cheeky kid meant well and he was just trying to get through each day at a time

sometimes one of the more empathetic merchants would allow Wooyoung to sleep on a spare rug under their tents, other times young Wooyoung would be lucky enough to find unoccupied shelter on his own to stay the night. Elderly food vendors would drop off extra scraps to make sure he wasn’t going to bed on an empty stomach at least

has had a few rough run-ins with the Uppers that caused him to be defensive by instinct and personally biased towards their aloof, ignorant nature although his view significantly changed after meeting Yeosang

initially he thought the young half-Suva was an oddball because why would an Upper remotely be interested in knowing his name, least of all saving him from face-planting on the ground too?

the warmth he felt on that day was by far something foreign for him to feel especially after how Yeosang complimented his appearance and shared his oshiadilla bun. With the meekest “thank you” Wooyoung marked that day as friendship achievement unlocked

when Yeosang spontaneously invited him over for dinner Wooyoung spent majority of his time just gawking and taking in the sight of the Kangs’ residence, too afraid to touch anything in case he’d accidentally broke it, “is that really a golden fountain in the middle of your courtyard?!”

young Wooyoung got terribly confused as to why there were so many forks, spoons and knives for one person to use at the dining table too

he became a constant around the residence so much so that the Kangs adopted him and it took him a good whole month just to process the fact that he was now a part of a family, he belonged somewhere – Wooyoung would never trade anything in the galaxy for this

the first time Yeosang ever saw Wooyoung cry was when his parents surprised them with their new school uniforms and supplies. His mother helped fitted their uniforms, embracing both her sons closely afterwards and all Wooyoung could think in that moment was damn did it feel good to have a mother’s embrace

it also felt really good to receive Yeosang hugs too, not really knowing just how touch starved he was

academic studies wasn’t really his thing but he did try his best, being street smart was more up his alley, “no matter! Education is important and everyone should have an opportunity for it, so long as you come home knowing something you didn’t know the day before,” were the encouraging words his adoptive parents would give

he holds high respect for Yeosang’s intellect and wouldn’t shy from proclaiming loudly & proudly, “THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND AND OLDER BROTHER!” whenever Yeosang did his thing in the classroom even though he’d earn a forehead flick from a flustered Yeo most of the time afterwards

Yeosang may not be as openly affectionate as Wooyoung is nor show that he actually cares in an obvious manner, but he did make it crystal clear just how important Wooyoung is to him after punching a classmate who had nothing better to do than rudely reiterate the differences between Wooyoung’s ‘kind’ and the rest of them

from that day on Wooyoung swore to have Yeosang’s back, just as much as he had his. He almost cried out of fright that Yeosang had put himself and his reputation on the line to protect him. Ended up crying in bed at the overwhelming gratitude that he felt from receiving the amount of love that he himself still wasn’t sure if he deserved

“don’t you dare think otherwise, and besides the only one who’s allowed to roast you as per sibling’s obligations is me”

before Wooyoung joined The Perihelion as Hongjoong’s fighter/main gunner, he was the up and coming Drifters Arena’s rookie champion in podracing

as a youngling he’s snuck into the Arena a couple of times to watch the races and it wasn’t till years later, for a birthday treat did he return to the Arena (this time purchasing a ticket properly, courtesy of his family). Wooyoung not only found his passion in flying but seem to have a natural flow for it too

he learnt the basics and started practising with the other rookies by having casual races. Effectively catching the attention of a previous retired champion, Redline, who saw potential in Wooyoung albeit his messy improvised manoeuvres and technique solely based on instinct when in race mode

Wooyoung had to get Yeosang to slap him just so he could tell that he wasn’t dreaming when Redline asked if he’d be interested to train under his guidance

“IS THIS THE REAL LIFE OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?”

“stop being such a drama queen! He’s right there you know?”

more yelling ensued when Redline set Wooyoung up with his very own podracer, a second-hand from the mechanics but reliable enough to still function decently. Over time with his winnings Wooyoung was able to spend it on extra parts and resources to spruce up his beloved baby; Aurora (yes he was very proud of the name he came up with for his podracer)

‘Little Speedstar’ was the nickname that Redline gave him but Wooyoung wouldn’t have it because, “I’M NOT THAT LITTLE”

“no you’re just vertically challenged that or gravity is just against you” Yeosang would snicker in lowkey

to say that it’s stressful watching a podrace would be an understatement according to Yeosang (anything goes in a podrace and racers aren’t conservatives when it comes to playing dirty at times), but it gave him nothing short of pride and joy watching Wooyoung effortlessly dance through the skies and be the first racer to cross the finish line

Wooyoung loved and appreciated seeing Yeosang amongst the crowd, it was a grounding factor for him before every race. What wasn’t a normal occurrence for him though was seeing his best friend being manhandled by an odd bunch of strangers

with post-race adrenaline kicking in and the need to protect strong he didn’t think twice about yelling at the group and power stomping towards them, not stopping even when he thought, “well damn, hello gorgeous” as San stepped defensively in front of Mingi to shield Wooyoung’s attempted swipe at him to get Yeosang back

fortunately over time more trust was established and their bonds were less of a rocky road, if anything Mingi empathised the most with Wooyoung for having similar backgrounds and lack of family in their early years of their lives

the other combo package deal that Hongjoong got with Wooyoung and Yeosang officially joining the crew

Wooyoung adapted fairly well to his new nomadic lifestyle and just when he thought his world couldn’t have grown any bigger, it did; now his family extending to that of the crew (he still dislikes being sent to Hongjoong’s room and will always complain to Seonghwa because, “I’m your favourite son right?”)

San became his go-to whenever he needed to fill his daily quota of affection

the party don’t start till him and Mingi walks in, drinking buddies along with Jongho (Wooyoung has a very soft spot for the youngest) & Yunho. Is openly smug about the fact that he’s got one of the best alcohol tolerance on board

when Jongho installed blasters onto Aurora, Wooyoung had dubbed it the glo-up of the century. Not only could he fly to scout/retrieve/act as a distraction but he could f i g h t now – he could make things explode (chaos levels have increased)

accidentally became the other half of the reason as to why Hongjoong banned any sexytimes on the ship and a sensitive content blocker feature was added in the Yunhogizers after Wooyoung sent a spicy photo to the group chat instead of his private fling

“Mother did NOT raise you this way”

major pouting over having bro privileges revoked but he’s been cooped up making a dozen new starcatchers for Yeosang and also has hijacked Seonghwa’s kitchen to surprise cook dinner for the crew as an apology literally wrestled a Grandu [database file: equivalent to a giant crab, a food delicacy] into the pot to boil and learnt that cutting onions truly is the demise of every being

all in all never forget (1) Wooyoung loves his family, very much (2) anyone who messes with them is sure to become target practice for him

(moodboard made with love, by @s1ardusk ♡)

#ateez headcanons #atzinc #aurorateeznet #atinyforatiny #pirate ateez #pirate ateez au #ateez au #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #ateez drabbles #ateez writing #ateez fic #Perihelion Crew #pyx writes

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

Text

Two Sides of the Coin (7)

Chapter 7: Comfort in the Midst of Irony | Jidné Sheedra x Cal Kestis

Summary: Hell-bent on exacting revenge and retrieving the Holocron, the dreaded Darth Vader is now on the hunt for the young Jedi Knight, Cal Kestis. Under the assumption that he still possessed the artifact, while fueled by the intrigue of the boy’s strength and skill with the Force, the dark lord hires the bounty hunter, Jidné Sheedra, to track him down and have him delivered alive. However, the task becomes a trial for young Jidné, as she faces a conflict that tests her beliefs of a scarred past she had hidden for so long.

Also tagging: @silver-is-in-too-many-fandoms

Also in AO3

Tags: Fem OC, Jidné Sheedra, Force-Sensitive! Fem OC, Bounty Hunter! Fem OC, Jedi! Fem OC

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 | Previous: Part 6 | Next: Part 8 | Masterlist

7 of ?

Cal had just gotten back out into the open and found the river that divides the town from the jungle where he came from. He knelt by the bank, scooping up cold freshwater and splashing it into his face, scraping himself clean off the sweat and dirt. He used the last handful of water to comb his scarlet hair using his bare fingers.

He finally crosses the bridge, upon his entrance into the town, he was greeted with the colors spread across from each end of the street, hollers of vendors and haggling buyers rung loud between the walls of the buildings. Stall owners gesture at Cal to at least look at their wares, he politely dismisses them as he passes them by.

“Be careful not to overheat your scanners, BD!” Cal beamed, knowing that the curious little BD-1 is going to scan everything left and right as they go.

“Woop, trill! Chirp.”

“Yeah, this place sure is pretty,”

“Boo! Trill, beep!”

“Oh, you meant Jidné? Yeah, she is kinda pretty,”

Cal wandered off farther into the town, the thought of the Force ripple and Jidné ran tirelessly around his mind. He recalled the nudging sensation that he’s gotten ever since he and the crew landed, then the feeling spiked when he discovered Jidné—more so when she took his hand to help her stand up. The image of her constantly flashed behind his eyes—the shy smile that responded to his awfully awkward one-liners and quips burned into his memory, the melody of her voice, and the way she moved with her lightsaber.

Looking back, he rarely—in fact, never—encountered another Padawan who wielded a purple blade. The only person he knew who did was Master Windu.

Cal found himself into a modest-looking pub, light instrumentals filled the establishment as its patrons chattered amongst themselves over their drinks. He regretted that he didn’t wear the kind of poncho that had a hood; fortunately for him, no one seemed to have noticed the boy come in the bar. Cal scanned the place and saw no sign of Stormtroopers doing patrol, he sighed in relief.

“Something mild,” he orders to the bartender.

While waiting for the bartender to work on it, Cal surveyed the place again—the cantina was filled with so many species that he couldn’t name them all. The humans were also bizarre-looking: cosmetic implants attached to certain parts of their bodies, hair dyed in outlandish colors that match or complement their facial tattoos, with matching makeup on their eyes and lips to boot—especially the women.

The bartender slid Cal’s glass towards him, to which the boy halted the sliding with the cushion of his palm. The first sip was always the strongest one, no matter the alcohol level, a hot sensation seared his palate; he smacked his tongue against the insides of his cheeks until the fizz leaves his mouth. In the corner of his eye, he spotted a Haxion Brood hunter and the HURID droid; before they’d spot him back, Cal slightly angled his body so the back of his head faces them—though it doesn’t help him much because his red hair was the only defining feature they know to identify him.

Cal scooted a bit closer next to a Talz, hoping that the size of the creature would shield him from the hunters’ sights. It worked, but only for a moment. He had to move quick. He left his glass half-empty, slipped a gold credit to the bartender, and attempts to vanish in the pub. Little did he know that the hunters noticed him turn his back to leave the bar; he sensed them following him, so he briskly walked towards the denser crowd to blend in and lose the hunters at the same time.

“There he is!” the human hunter pointed with his bionic hand.

Both hunters shouldered their way through the crowd in the marketplace, especially the HURID droid who practically plowed his way through the people—it’s highly likely that the people he’s shoved and push will have a bruise pop out of them any day after that—meanwhile, Cal was careful in going through the crowd, matching their pace, regretting some more that he didn’t wear the hooded type of poncho.

“Out of my way!” the HURID droid bellowed, pushing away a local who stumbled upon the stall he was browsing at.

Cal picked up his pace while continuously mumbling “Pardon me” and “Excuse me” to the people he shoulders through. When he got into a wide space, enough for him to run, he bolted through the market’s streets—it didn’t take long until he came across another wave of people filling the road. He didn’t slow down for that though, he continued to run, looking over his shoulder from time to time—as consequence, he bumped into a stranger as he ran and they stumbled to the ground together.

From the fall, the cowl revealed its owner to be Jidné.

“Cal?”

“Jidné?”

Jidné groaned as she rubbed the back of her head, Cal’s brain was going haywire—deciding whether to bolt away and miss Jidné or simply hide with her tagging along against her will.

“Where is he!?” the HURID droid roared, drowned amongst the crowd.

There was no time for questions, Cal chose the latter option that his brain made in the last minute. He snatched her wrist as soon as she sat up and dragged her along. They crawled towards a market stall, sitting into a tucked position as their backs hug the wooden planks that make up the kiosk’s wall.

“What’s going on?” Jidné whispered.

“Shh!”

Cal braced her with his entire arm, both of them huddled together to the dust—just so they’re in the same height as the short-fenced market stall. Jidné was startled with the entire rough-and-tumble but she immediately knew what Cal was trying to pull.

The stampeding footsteps of the Haxion Brood hunter and his HURID companion approached their spot, they stopped just a few inches past the stall; both the young Jedi and the bounty hunter stuck their backs against the wooden planks more—both youngsters were frozen in place as they couldn’t look away from their pursuers, Jidné’s eyes fixed on the two goons, the human hunter was scanning the area. Not waiting for that hunter to turn his head to their direction, Jidné clutched for Cal’s arm on her shoulder and then put all of her focus on using her ability.

“What was that?!” the hunter snarled, abruptly twirling to face Jidné and Cal’s general direction.

Cal’s felt his heart fall to his feet when he met eyes with the hunter, but it occurred to him that the hunter apparently cannot see them. He swears that he’s face-to-face with the Brood hunter right now! The hunter is literally one step away from him, he shuddered at how close he is with the enemy but the Brood agent isn’t doing anything.

Cal looked to his side and saw the steely expression in Jidné’s face, he felt her hand around his, she afforded a quick side-eye as she caught him staring at her—he was beginning to grasp that she was doing this.

“You see ‘im, Fazer?” asked the bruiser droid.

The human hunter, Fazer, squinted his eyes and panned that one empty nook right beside the market stall.

“Argh! Nah, probably just a vermin or somethin’ I heard,” he grumbled.

“He must’ve went that way!” the droid pointed to their direction up ahead and then darted through.

Soon the footsteps receded, Jidné didn’t remove her hand from Cal’s until there was no sight of that pair. She scrambled to her feet, still crouched to the same level as the market stalls, and then peeked out into the street while ignoring the startled locals looking between them and the two hunters running ahead.

“I think they’re gone,” she turned around to Cal, still seated on the dust, mouth gaped open as he still tried to comprehend what happened seconds ago.

“How did…?” he mumbled. It was so quiet that Jidné didn’t hear it as she checked out their surroundings.

“You seem like you have a knack for attracting trouble.”

“Yeah well, there’s a bounty on my head for being a Jedi. The group that’s after me isn’t exactly the friendliest bunch,”

Jidné bit her lip. The whole thing is so uncanny that it hurt her on the inside.

“Right,” she hummed as casually as she could.

When the coast was truly clear, Cal brought himself up his feet and dusted off the yellow sand that clumped on his jacket and pants.

“Sorry, I kinda dragged you in there for a moment,”

“Wait, did you think those Haxion goons were gonna come after me too—that’s why you pulled me in with you?”

“Yeah, I…” Cal was patting off the dust from his sleeve until it occurred to him, he jerked his head to face Jidné. “Wait. How’d you know they were Haxion?”

Oh fuck! Jidné’s conscience screamed so loud that her mouth nearly replicated the words.

“I had my own run-ins with them,” she shrugged her shoulders. She nodded at the alley on her left. “Come on, this way should be safer. Less open, more hidden.”

Jidné led Cal into the narrow annex of the main road, doors lined the walls—assuming that this was another residential area that sits behind the business establishments—and worked their way out of the crowded part of town.

“You got yourself into a bar fight or something?” Jidné blurted.

“No, I was just out to get a drink until I spotted them—I guess they spotted me when I was about to leave,”

“Sounds like you haven’t truly mastered the art of subtlety,” she clapped back.

“Hold on,” he pressed. “What was that just now?”

“The what?”

“That!” Cal gestures at the space behind him, but Jidné knew what he exactly meant. “You saw the hunter, he was literally right in front of us! But… he didn’t see us? That couldn’t be me—I’m sure as hell that that’s not me!”

Jidné was calm, completely the opposite definition of Cal’s hysteria. She sighed. There’s no escape for her with these kinds of questions again.

“I don’t think this is the best place to explain, don’t you think so too?” quipped the young hunter.

Cal surveyed the area, residents standing outside their homes—for reasons unknown—and children playing in the narrow annex with their balls and playthings laid out on the road. Some of the folks have already noticed the two of them standing awkwardly together by the wall.

“Alright, I suppose you lead the way then?”

“Just stay close,” she sternly instructed.

——————————————————–

The intricate network of roads, annexes, and alleys in the town of Ombari was confusing, but if one knew the landmarks and kept it in mind, then it would be easier to navigate through the town. Jidné and Cal passed through some intersections here and there, they were looking for a spot that wasn’t too crowded—a few people wouldn’t be a bother, Jidné only preferred to have less people around and Cal concurred with that.

Cal kept his questions to himself. As they go along, more and more questions pile up in his mind—particularly, questions about Jidné herself.

They found themselves in the base of the hill where the town was situated. There were more small-time businesses lining up the path just right in front of the main entrance, but farmers and tillers mostly resided at the stretch of landed where they had plotted their modest farms and vegetable gardens. Their harvests were already in display for those who wanted to buy, they were no different from the vendors in the town proper though—except the noise wasn’t a factor in their part.

“That spot by the riverbank looks okay,” Jidné nodded at her north, gesturing at the river gleaming underneath the afternoon sun.

She and Cal sat on the other side of the river, across the hill where they could observe the farmers till and plow their crops, underneath the shade of the trees that framed along the winding river.

Both of them were getting tired—or perhaps, fed up—with the same old silence that always hung heavily around them, no matter the space in between, it’s always there. Neither of them saw it a sign for either of them to start a conversation.

“So, about what happened back in the marketplace?” Cal prompted.

Jidné exhaled and prepared herself.

“Can you like… cloak anything or anyone?” he added.

“When you put it that way, yeah,” she looked at him in the eye, then her eyes wandered to her own hands. “At first, it was simply just activating and deactivating it—in a way—it was hard for little ol’ me that time. I was fresh out of the Initiate Trials back then.”

Cal didn’t avert his gaze from Jidné, he shifted between examining her hands and then to her whenever she spoke.

“But now that I’m older—even back then when I was still a Padawan—I learned how to wield it better. I can manipulate how transparent I want things or people to appear, whether they’d be as thin as smoke or as invisible as the air we breathe.”

“Do you really need to touch in order to make things almost or completely invisible?”

Jidné clenched her fist, “It makes it easier for me if I do, and the area of effect varies too. Not touching them but still focusing on my target can have them be under the influence of my Force Shroud, but only for a time. Whereas being in physical contact, it’s the same—except twice or thrice as better. It all boils down to a matter of distance, really.”

He let all of that information sink into him, trying to grasp how Jidné’s Force ability worked. It wasn’t difficult to understand, though he could imagine the possibilities if one could master such a power.

“I don’t think I’ve heard of another Jedi with an ability like that,”

“My master thought the same thing,” her tone became more somber at the memory.

Cal’s next question might be one of the most personal ones, but he had a feeling that his master might have known hers. Regardless, he put that question for another time—he figured it might have been a topic too heavy for her, considering that she was also a Jedi who must’ve lost everything.

And lost everything she did.

“So, you got anything special in you too, ginger?” she initiated.

Instead of using words, Cal searched for a target—any target. He spotted a pile of shards from earthenware that beached onto the shore of the river, hidden well between the reeds; he scooted closer to the shard pile and hovered his hand over it. Jidné watched and she could feel the slight ripple send out a weak shockwave and a gust of wind.

“These pots were used by farmers to ferment the grain and wheat into some kind of liquid. They collected water to continue the fermentation process, but some wild animals jumped on them and broke them,” Cal explained.

Impressed, Jidné flicked her eyebrows up at Cal, who seemed proud of his little demonstration and proved it with a smirk across his lips.

“I think I’ve read about a power like that a long time ago. You touch an object and you get a glimpse of its past… A Force Echo.”

“Exactly,”

“Interesting,” she hummed, a smile involuntarily curled along her lips.

For a moment, Jidné forgot that she was a bounty hunter. The feeling of having someone to connect with something familiar from a distant past was intoxicating. She and Cal continued to banter about topics that weren’t exactly correlated with one another—for instance, their own droids.

Jidné told Cal the story of finding ID-3 in a disposal bin. She was expertly vague in leaving out some details that could go unnoticed. She recalled the time when she took a look at ID, he was apparently still in tiptop shape—all he needed was a circuit wire replacement and a good power recharge.

“The poor thing wasn’t exactly given the right attention,” Jidné cooed, petting ID-3’s flat-topped head. “So I patched him and now he’s mine!”

“What else did you do to ID-3?”

“Oh, just added some little perks and tweaks that might come in handy sooner or later. The little saucer never failed me so far,”

The black droid chirped happily, absorbing all of the compliments that poured out of Jidné’s mouth and she truly meant them.

Cal and Jidné whiled away the afternoon bantering some more and letting their droids get to know with one another. This was one of the rare moments where Jidné allowed herself to let loose—although the moment was lighthearted and happy, she couldn’t ignore the irony that gleamed blindingly in front of her face: the irony that such comfort is coming from the exact person that she is hunting down.

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lastpic21 · 4 years ago

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OPENING UP TO THE WORLD

Twenty-two days have passed. Thus far, the only world the puppies have known has been a small, circular nest that has stood in for the ordinary den found in the wild. For the infant pup, the nest provides the stable, confined environment required for all of his primary needs to be met.

Until now, that is.

For the past several days, the pups have been much more animated in the nest, almost restless, indicating their growing sense of confinement. With Anka spending longer periods away from them, they start pawing at the sides of the nest in an effort to follow her. This morning, Sunny finally resolves to overcome the barrier. Slowly inching his way up the side, enough to place his front paws on top of the edge, he peers over and spots Anka snoozing on her dog bed nearby. He yips impatiently but in vain; Anka ignores his calls. This is just the incentive he needs. With fearless determination and daring, he stubbornly attempts to scale the side. Hoisting himself up, his rear legs pumping wildly against the wall of the nest, he manages to clear the top, only to tumble down onto the hard floor of the whelping room. This unexpected drop elicits a series of high-pitched shrieks that rouse Anka to his aid. Licking him reassuringly, she settles down next to him and lets him nurse. Meanwhile, the commotion rouses the other pups, who now peek over the edge of the nest. They quickly become a chorus of screaming, impatient siblings. It is only a matter of time before each of them will join his or her brother.

Sunny’s venture out of the nest occurs near the beginning of the all-important socialization period—nine weeks of intensive exposure to life during which the puppies’ personalities blossom. Practically overnight their behavior changes. Their growing abilities of perception and movement, which we began to see in the transitional period, suddenly become coordinated. Clearly, they have reached a milestone in their growth. Though still requiring plenty of sleep, the pups are more energetic and awake for longer periods. They now become animated and curious. Their play with one another includes the barking and tail wagging we identify with adult behavior. Though still immature, the brain and central nervous system have developed enough for the pups to interact seriously with their surroundings. Now they begin to learn quickly!What Is Socialization?

By socialization we mean two things: first, the positive adjustment a puppy makes to the many aspects of her life, whether this includes other dogs, people, places, or objects; second, what we do to foster this. A puppy is extremely sensitive to socializing experiences between three and twelve weeks, when the effects are permanent, for better or worse. Previously the puppy was psychologically isolated from her environment, protected by the lack of sensory development. Now that has changed. She is vulnerable in a new way.

Naturally the pups are not aware of this. At the beginning of this stage, their basic orientation is one of openness. Their senses are receiving an abundance of stimuli whereby they gain an immediate perception of their surroundings. Everything is new and interesting, and the pups start to show real curiosity. They are ready to form their first genuinely social relationships with their mother and littermates.

Because of this positive thrust toward life and growth, we keep the pups’ environment stable and capitalize on this natural inquisitiveness with a proper blend of new experiences. The mother should still spend the majority of her time with the pups. Since they are in the process of adjusting to their newly found senses, we do not overwhelm them with excessive stimulation and noise during the first week and a half of this period. At this time, though they are naturally disposed to investigate their small world, too much stimulation can cause fearfulness. Normal fear and avoidance of new experiences arise naturally later in the period, once the brain and central nervous system have matured to their adult levels. This is commonly referred to as the fear/avoidance period and is discussed later in the book.In the wild, this natural rhythm of attachment and avoidance initially bonds a pup to its pack, then later makes it wary of strange animals and new, potentially dangerous circumstances. It is a survival mechanism that instinctively keeps puppies away from predators. During the first twelve weeks of life, the only social contacts a wolf pup has are with its mother, littermates, and immediate pack members. This keeps the pupsafe and reinforces attachments to the pack, and thus creates a greater pack solidarity and security. In domestic dogs, the pattern is the same: attachment, then displays of avoidance.

Ideally a pup is raised with a variety of the right kinds of social experiences, first with his mother and littermates and subsequently with the wider world. Since domestic dogs are expected to behave in ways that are socially acceptable to humans, a puppy needs plenty of human contact and exposure to all sorts of common, everyday things. This lays the foundation for a positive attitude toward new people and new experiences and teaches the puppy that human beings and their world are part of his pack. If deprived of these contacts, a pup will develop fearful reactions to people and grow up socially maladjusted and emotionally disturbed. At that point, reconditioning, even if possible, is extremely difficult (and very expensive).

This explains why adult wolves are almost impossible to domesticate. While there have been numerous accounts of wolf pups that were raised and socialized by humans into trusted companions, adult wolves are extremely resistant to being tamed. Lacking any exposure to humans during the critical period of socialization, they have no basis for making the connection. Quite understandably, when an adult wolf is faced with the prospect of an encounter with a human being, its tendency will be either flight or, when cornered, displays of aggression.

In Understanding Your Dog, Eberhard Trumler, a noted ethologist in Germany, recounts the story of how he deliberately raised a litter of dingoes (Australian wild dogs) in such a way that they had no contact with human beings between their third and seventh weeks of life. Except for the presence of other pack members, they were raised by their parents just as they would be in the wild. The results were predictable. They developed into shy, wild dogs who avoided any contact with humans and would hide whenever Trumler entered their yard. Since one of Trumler’s purposes was to observe the behavior of dingoes in an essentially natural setting, the deprivation was inconsequential. The animals acted as they normally would in the wild. Similar deprivation for domestic dogs, however, has more serious consequences.

When Scott and Fuller raised a number of litters in large, open fields, they found that pups raised without human contact would show fearful reactions to humans at five weeks but could readjust in two weeks’ time if handled often. Puppies first exposed to human contact at twelve weeks, however, immediately reacted very fearfully and fled from the researchers. They behaved essentially like wild animals and were socially irretrievable. They had missed the vital contact during the critical period.

A practical application of this discovery was made by Clarence Pfaffenberger at Guide Dogs for the Blind (San Rafael, California) during the 1950s and 1960s. Operating a breeding program specifically designed to produce qualified guide dogs and working closely with John Paul Scott, he confirmed the necessity of regular socialization if pups were to have any hope of becoming successful guide dogs. Pups needed repeated human contact to acquire the emotional stabilitynecessary for such work. Without it, the dogs not only became unsuited for guide work but made poor companions as well. The implications for all breeders were self-evident.

Pfaffenberger also found that the initial benefits of socialization could be lost if puppies were left in the kennel too long after the conclusion of personality testing at twelve weeks. If a properly socialized pup spent three additional weeks in the kennel without deliberate socialization and then was placed in her new home, chances were high (70 percent) that she would be unable to take responsibility for her blind owner as an adult guide dog. Pups placed in homes immediately after the testing, however, had a 90 percent success rate.

These examples underscore the importance of what happens in the life of your puppy before you obtain her, as well as the absolute importance of socialization throughout her life. Socialization accustoms the puppy to a wide variety of new and potentially frightening experiences. The rhythm of first being afraid and then recovering and getting used to the new experience is one of the more valuable lessons that a puppy learns during this period. The pup bounces back and becomes more able to deal with potentially unsettling things later in life.

We believe that we can use this information to distinguish two phases within the period as a whole. The first centers on a pup’s interaction with other dogs and takes place between roughly four and six weeks. During this time, though human contact should not be absent, it is not the main focus. Major changes in behavior occur as a result of the puppies’ interactions with one another and with their mother. This period flows into the second phase, when the pups begin to focus on socializing with people. This interval extends from five to twelve weeks, thus allowing for a week’s overlap when the pups require both forms of social exposure. These two phases highlight the basic social adjustments most puppies need to make if they are to live happy, balanced lives.

An Interesting Exception: A Litter of One

As should now be apparent, we cannot emphasize enough how socialization is a vital process for any pup’s adjustment to the world, a stable foundation on which future development greatly depends. What happens, then, in the rare instance when only one puppy is born in the litter? Should we expect such a pup to be at an extreme disadvantage in its growth and development? Not necessarily. While a single puppy presents a challenge, the breeder can ensure that the playing field is leveled by compensating with frequent handling and plentiful exposure to other dogs.

For example, we recall when this happened years ago with a puppy from one of our shepherds. We nicknamed the pup Lit (short for litter) and began right away supplementing the attention she received from her mother with plenty of additional handling and stimulation. After the first several weeks, whichever monk was working the kennels during the day would take her with him in a satchel as he did cleaning chores, and as Lit grew we reinforced this by letting her interact with puppies from anotherlitter as well as with older, puppy-wise shepherds of the breeding program who understood how to safely relate with her. We also socialized her with visitors to the monastery, especially women and children, since most of Lit’s initial human encounters were with men. By the time Lit left for her new home, she was a thoroughly socialized, self-possessed pup who had also learned some important limits from older dogs.

Had we not done this and instead left her isolated, to be cared for solely by her mother, she would have been seriously undersocialized. She wouldn’t have understood how to react with other dogs and would likely have been a strange combination of pushy and fearful, with a strong tendency to overuse her mouth whenever she was frustrated. The prognosis for such a pup would have been bleak indeed.

Phase One: Socialization with Dogs (4–6 Weeks)

To make these ideas clear, let us return to Anka and her pups. Once the pups start getting out of the nest, we remove it and leave them on the floor, with Anka’s comfortable dog bed in the corner to sleep on. As they move around now much more freely, they begin to eliminate on their own, away from the bed, on newspapers that cover the floor. Their instinctive aversion to messing where they sleep is connected with their mother’s earlier meticulous care of the nest.

Wildlife biologists observe the same behavior in the wild with wolves: three-week-old pups emerge from their den and start playing with one another in front of the entrance. As they do so, they urinate and defecate on their own, gradually learning to pick spots away from the den. By six to seven weeks, the pups select particular scent posts—areas where they will consistently relieve themselves. The movement away from the nest, coinciding with the ability to eliminate by themselves, reveals the natural tendency of both wolves and dogs to keep their sleeping areas clean. Knowing this will help later on when you begin house-training your puppy.

This is why a filthy, disorganized breeding kennel not only reflects badly on the breeder but could spell future health and behavioral problems for your dog as well. When soiled papers are not picked up regularly, the pups wrestle and stomp in their own feces and lose their natural aversion to soiling where they play or sleep. They also quite likely will begin eating their own excrement. This may lead to health problems as well as habitual stool eating (coprophagy) as adults. Thus, kennel cleanliness is essential for proper socialization and should be an important consideration in determining where you adopt your new puppy.

A Gentle Weaning

During the fourth week, the puppies grow so rapidly that their requirements for food increase beyond Anka’s ability to produce. Anka becomes more and more impatient with their constant demands. She is reluctant to let the pups nurse and avoids them by escaping into the outside holding pen, where they have not yet learned to follow. If confined with them, she no longer lies down but moves constantly and snaps when they try to nurse from her. When she finally relents,she remains upright, forcing the pups to nurse standing up. But not for long. After several minutes she ends the session and moves away, leaving the pups yipping and barking as they stubbornly follow her for more.

Because their sharp little teeth have begun to emerge, Anka’s ability to let them nurse for long periods of time diminishes. It is simply too uncomfortable for her. This is a sign that it is time to wean the pups. During the next several days, we will introduce the pups to semisolid blends of cottage cheese and high-quality canned meat, gradually working up to moistened puppy kibble (dry puppy food). The weaning process should occur gently, giving the pups time to get accustomed to a new diet as well as to prolonged absences by their mother. To grant Anka some relief, we place an elevated platform in the whelping room that allows her to retreat from her pups while still remaining with them. Three-to four-week-old pups still require the stabilizing and secure presence of their mother. Since they are being bombarded with an abundance of new experiences and stimuli, abrupt separations would be harmful.

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collectivedreamscapes-moved · 7 years ago

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the Renees - people

Physically, all of the Renees look more or less like the body does, or did at their age. Some have longer or shorter hair, some wear glasses and some don’t. The boys look more like our brother. Main Renee was one of the main fronters for a very long time. She was one of the mothers to the outside children. She was the one who decided some time in 1999 that we needed to go back into therapy and try to figure out what the heck was wrong with her. At that time she didn’t know about the rest of us. She tried really hard, when she wasn’t in denial, to accept the system and to hear what we had to tell her. She mostly dealt with Shadowlands memories. She was finally overwhelmed late in 2005 and disappeared from the front. She had been 16, but had reverted to age 5 and was very feral. She’s mostly stayed in the Shadowlands; sometimes she has been seen with the shadow kids under Raylene’s protection. As of Jan 2009 she is still very feral, but has aged to about 7. All of us have made sure to let her know that we are not going to try and force her to be front, and that she doesn’t have to talk until she is ready. We all rather suspect, though, that she will never be one of the main fronters again. R~ and RC are both 17 and are both the result of main Renee splitting due to overwhelming stress and emotional pain in 1999 and 2000. Both of them are far more likely to say what they feel. They also both carry any of the overflow in feelings from main Renee. They haven’t been heard from since main Renee went five and feral. Renée with the accent over the “e” has never fronted much. She's about 15 or 16. She’s very similar to main Renee except that she stays mostly inside. Renee16 is one of the teens who was present when we moved to Florida in 1990. She’s 16 and very sad and quiet and tends not to talk much. She gets overwhelmed very easily and doesn’t do very well with the stress of just everyday life. She holds a lot of the pain that was felt throughout the system when we moved from Texas to Florida, as well as some of the physical pain from some of the physical things we were going to doctors for. renee with the small “r” is 16 and has kind of a dual personality. She is also known as Ice Princess, one of the Shadow Sisters. But renee and Ice Princess don’t co-exist. She is either one or the other. She was one of the first involved directly with the Shadowlands to start asking questions about their (the Shadowlands) beliefs and how they were raised. She’s also one of the ones that the higher-ups from the Shadowlands have punished for daring to question things. She wavers back and forth between being loyal to the Shadowlands as Ice Princess and questioning everything she thought she knew as renee. Shadow is 15 and is one of the few Renees that are male. He usually doesn’t front, but he and Raye were front for about six weeks in November and December of 2008. That was a bad time for us. All those over 16 and under 12 seemed to vanish. We’re still not entirely sure what all was going on system wise, but we do know that it related directly to what we had learned about in June 2008 and hadn’t had a chance to deal with. The main fronters were all in a kind of stasis where they couldn’t even reach the outside and either couldn’t hear Raye and Shadow or chose not to respond. Rae is 15 and is one of the writers. She’s pretty quiet and shy. She loves to read and she absolutely loves to create stories. She is often the one who comes up with the story ideas. We aren’t quite sure how old Renee10 actually is. We know that she isn’t actually 10 years old, but she seems to be able to shift her age, so we’re never certain. Renee10 contains a lot of the anger and spite. She’s deliberately mean and cruel and enjoys when she can verbally hurt someone. She often calls people names, and it is usually directed at other system members. She usually is very aware of what is going on outside, whether she is actually fronting or not, and often subjects whoever is fronting to a variety of sarcastic and cruel remarks about the people around us. We try to keep her contained, mostly because she refuses to express her rage in acceptable ways. Raye is 13 and is the head of the writers' group. She’s generally the one who does most of the writing and editing. She’s usually the one who directs where any certain story is going, although others of the writers have been known to throw their own curves in. She loves to write and truly dreams of getting published one day. She’s very serious about her writing and often feels that she and the other writers don’t get their fair share of time out on the computer. Raylynn is 12 and is another of the writers. She will usually pick up the slack when Raye starts to stall out. She and Raye belonged to a tag writing club once and they enjoyed it a lot. She wishes often that they could find another such place. She misses the interaction of other writers and how stories can change and unfold when so many people have a hand in writing it. Ray, who is 11 is another of the writers. Otherwise, not much is known about her. Raelin is about 10 and we don’t know much about her. She’s another one who is mostly quiet and mostly stays on the inside. She seems to be sad often. Lil raye is 9 and is a traumatic split from main Renee in 2000 over dental trauma. She is one who is still locked in time. We have not had the chance to even begin to try and process her trauma. Others of the Renees keep an eye on her and make sure she isn’t left alone in her fear. NIP (which stands for “Nobody In Particular”) is one of the most vehement about denying everything bad about our childhood. She's 16 and she seems to willfully disregard anything anyone has to say about the bad things that happened to us. She’s like a brick wall, she just doesn’t budge. She has a lot of self-esteem issues as well. “just me” is another who is firmly steeped in denial. She is also 16 and often feels insignificant and suffers from deep depressions. Like NIP she refuses to believe that what other system mates have to say could possibly be true. Terry is 7 and started out being called “me”. We talked to her and she agreed to use the name Renae because it was more meaningful than “me”. In 2007, she decided that she didn’t want to use the name Renae anymore and chose the name Terry. She’s a mostly perky little girl, though she fears our father, and as a result most adult men. She tends to stay with the kids in the Castle. DeeDee is short for Designated Daughter. She’s 15 and the one who often interacted with our family. She knew how to play the family game well. She loves our parents and spent a lot of time defending them to others. Only in June of 2008, and again several times between then and November did she really begin to understand just how badly our parents hurt us. It almost broke her. She hasn’t fronted much since then, trying to come to terms with her intense grief. Shattered is in her late teens and is a deliberate split from main Renee in either 2003 or 2004. main Renee was dealing with a lot of things, among them the realization that the Renees weren’t just the fronts for the Shadowlands but they had been specifically created by the Shadowlands. In an attempt to try and placate those of the Shadowlands who wanted the Renees to return and to keep them from abducting people from the Realms she made a conscious decision to split. Shattered carries the Shadowlands memories that main Renee carried and considers herself fully of the Shadowlands. Lisa was 17 and chose her name in an effort to differentiate herself from main Renee. She was one of the main fronters immediately after main Renee went five and feral (late 2005). She was a main fronter until about summer of 2006 when she was inundated with memories of a certain incident that happened with the evil grandmother. Her age dropped to 13 as she tried to deal with things. When she left front she had aged to 15 but was still being bombarded with memories and triggers. Mean Mommy is more of a fragment than a whole person. She doesn't seem to really have any specific age. During the first four or five years of the marriage she was the one who was in charge of disciplining the outside kids. She never physically hurt them, but she did yell a lot. The other mothers finally realized that she was scaring our outside kids and that there were better ways to discipline the children and convinced Mean Mommy to change her ways. We believe she may have blended with one of the other mothers, but we aren’t certain. Rayne, who is about 16 or 17, has only been out a few times, mostly over the summer of 2006. She seems to be a bit of a free spirit. She loves freely and doesn’t have a lot of the emotional hang-ups that many of us have about sharing our feelings with people. She’s actually a breath of fresh air. Motormouth’s name says it all. She's 16 and she talks a lot, often rapidly. She tends to stray from subject to subject with very little rhyme or reason. She used to be the one who would take over and steer the conversation away from sensitive subjects. She doesn’t do that so much anymore, although she has been known to take over when we are nervous or in a situation where we have to interact with other people and don’t really want to. People tend to like her even though she talks a lot because she tends to talk about things people like to hear about.

#people #system stuff #the Renees

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crzcorgi · 8 years ago

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A Dream Come True ~ part six

a Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Norman Reedus RPF

catch up here!

My first attempt at a RPF! I love Norman, but am nowhere near an expert on him, like I am with Jeffrey. 😜 So excuse my writing of him. Also, let’s pretend that Jeffrey and Norman are single, no SO’s, no ties.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Norman Reedus ~ This chapter features just Jeff!

Word count ~ 2200

Warnings- NSFW

Tags~ @stileswolfi @magikat409 @jasoncrouse @nothin-after-79 @magpiegirl80 @omgitss0y @binegan @metal-xo @mypopculturediva @angelofthenite @hotfornegan @a-queen-and-her-throne @mwesterfeld1985

@soythedemonqueen @aquivercactus @srj1990 @fangirlextraordinaire @buckyscrystalqueen

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This has been amazing, and I wanna thank you for going out of your comfort zone to be with both Jeff and I.” He placed a chaste kiss on the top of my head.

I suddenly had a very uneasy feeling, how he was speaking, not the words, but the tone. It was if he was saying goodbye. I knew Jeff wanted more, and I was beginning to realize how I was falling for him.

But what about Norman? Was there something there? We hadn’t spoken out loud about it, I thought I had the same feelings for him, and him for me.

But I was beginning to wonder. Did Norman speak to Jeff when I was asleep? Had they made a decision about us, whatever us was, without me? As I listened to Norman’s soft snores I knew I would be confronting them both. I just needed to decide what I was going to say. I needed to make a decision.

I soon fell into a fitful sleep, I couldn’t stay asleep, waking up only to make sure I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t sure who exactly I was hoping to find. But I knew I didn’t want to be alone. In the past couple of days I had gotten used to a warm body always next to me, beside me, wrapping me in not only warmth, but a feeling of being needed, wanted. And loved.

When I woke enough to take in my surroundings, I rolled over, which was a small feat as I was tightly wrapped in a pair of very strong arms. As I began to open my eyes, I tried to distinguish exactly whose arms I was encased in. I knew almost instantly when I inhaled.

“Hey beautiful lady, I missed you.” Jeffrey leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips. “Hope you’re not to disappointed that it’s me, I know you feel asleep with Norm, and well…”

He was hesitant, acting unsure. Did he come to me because Norman asked him to? Why would I be disappointed? Was he the one who was actually disappointed? But that’s stupid, I mean if he didn’t want to be with me he’d just not come back. Well, wait, we’re in his room, so yeah…

“Doll, you’re doing it again, I can see those fucking wheels turning in your head. Stop darling, please.” He pulled me tight to his chest, my head coming to rest just under his chin. Closing my eyes, just enjoying being in his arms.

“What are you thinking about sweetheart? I could tell you were working yourself up again, the doubts have got to stop. Believe me, if I didn’t fucking want to be here, with you, I wouldn’t be. Same goes for Norman.” He was now running his hands up and down my back, making me drowsy.

When I didn’t respond, he gently placed a hand under my chin, tipping my face up to meet his. He began softly stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“Talk to me sweetheart .”

“I’m not sure what to say, I’m so confused. I don’t even know if I understand what I’m feeling.” I looked into his eyes, a kaleidoscope of colors swirling, mesmerizing me. Such kind, loving eyes, I truly was not feeling worthy of his attention, and most certainly not his love. “I have had the most amazing time of my life. Both you and Norman, well, you’ve blown my mind. But, this,” I reached up to lightly stroke his stubbled cheek, “whatever it is, can’t continue, can it?” I could feel the tears threatening to fall so I tried to focus on my breathing, trying to calm myself.

Jeff sighed, his eyes closing, then slowly opening once again. He gazed into my now damp eyes, a look of sadness coming over him.

“Can I ask you something sweetheart? And will you not fucking over think your answer, just say what comes to mind?” One hand was still lightly rubbing up and down my spine, comforting me.

How could I stop myself from overthinking? I swear it’s in my DNA. But I would try, for him. “Yes, I’ll try.” I gave him a shy smile.

“Good.” I felt his scruff on my forehead, even a simple thing like that caused me to shiver. “Cold baby girl?” As he asked me he pulled the covers up to my neck. Don’t want you to get sick on me.” He placed a tiny kiss on my head, leaning back just enough to look me in face fully, but still close enough to continue rubbing my back and arm.

“What did you want to ask me?” I was a bit nervous.

He sighed, seeming almost hesitant now to speak. “When you first walked past the curtain and into my view, it was if the fucking wind was knocked out off me.” He tightened his grip on my chin, making sure I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, look away.

“Now, that, don’t think I don’t notice you subtly nodding your disbelief just now. You need to stop that. I hate being so harsh with you, but I cannot believe what little faith you have in yourself. Someone as beautiful as yourself, both inside, and YES, outside. Someone who can turn all eyes in a room when they enter. Whose very presence makes me feel I’m on cloud 9. I won’t allow your self doubt to threaten any future we could possibly have.”

He leaned in, placing the sweetest, but very much heated, kiss on my lips. Pulling back, he smiled, flashing those panty dropping dimples. “Now, back to what I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted! He tickled my side causing a girly giggle to escape. “That’s what I love doll!”

This man had me wrapped around his little finger. I was a goner.

I raised my hand up, lightly stroking his stubbled cheek. “So, what is the question? You’ve got me a bit nervous.” I chewed on my bottom lip, a nervous habit I couldn’t stop.

I heard a slight growl emanating from Jeff’s throat. “Fuck baby girl, that is a freaking turn on,” He took a hold of my chin, pulling gently and confusing me. “that little lip thing, the biting, it fucking makes me instantly hard.” He then thrusted his hips into me, causing a loud gasp to come from me. I could feel him, so hard so wanting.

“I’m not going to be able to stay still much longer. I fucking need you doll.” His hand that had been resting on my hip quickly made its way down to my now dripping core. How this man, with just a few movements, mere words, could turn me into a dripping mess. Moving fast, he dipped two fingers, then three into my more than ready pussy. His thumb began twitching over my swiftly hardening clit, causing me to arch into his hand, moans rising up my throat.

I gasped when his fingers disappeared only to be replaced by his thick cock in just mere seconds.

“Fuck baby girl! I’m not gonna last!” He rolled over, our intertwined bodies moving as one. I sat up, still impaled by him. “Ride my baby girl, let me see those fine tits dance!”

I had never been comfortable being on top like this before, very self conscious of my body. But Jeff made me feel like the most beautiful, incredibly sexy woman. He made me feel wanted, desired, loved. I began rising up and down, slowly at first, the feelings so very different at this angle. With my eyes closed, I tried moving a bit side to side, then in an awkward figure eight. I was leaning backward, my hands resting on Jeff’s thighs, trying to keep my balance.

“Open your eyes, doll.” Jeff grunted out. “I wanna see them, beautiful.”

I opened them slowly, gazing into his hooded lust-blown eyes. I was reaching my high but I wanted to try and prolong the end. This was much more than I had expected. More intense, more freaking enjoyable, so much more pleasure in so little movement. I couldn’t stop the tiny moans I emitted, the feelings becoming almost too much to take.

Jeff began jerking his hips faster, causing me to loose my balance and I began to fall forward. His hands grasped me tightly, steadying me. We continued our movements, no words spoken, just thrusts, jerks, my hips gyrating in a figure 8 pattern, his upward assaults, his manhood climbing further and further into me. His hands grasping my breasts, squeezing, tweaking, pinching, my nipples becoming painful, but in an oh so pleasurable way.

I could feel my hair sticking to my damp face, a droplet of sweat running down between my breasts. I brought my shaking hands around to place them on his shoulders for more stability. But he grabbed them, intertwining our fingers. I could feel the tightening in my core, the subtle vibrations beginning, the shakes starting in my extremities.

“Ohh…I think…” I couldn’t get my words out, but Jeff understood what I was attempting to get out.

“I know baby girl…cum for me, with me.”

And I came. And he came. My eyes closed tightly, my mouth open as I couldn’t stop the screams escaping, and neither could he. His name, my name, multiple curse words, made up words and sounds fell from both of our lips. Not able to hold myself up anymore, I collapsed down onto his chest, and into his waiting arms.

As I came down from my highest high, when my all of my senses weren’t so sensitive I realized how perfect this felt. How I didn’t want to be anywhere else, just here, in his arms. In Jeffrey’s arms. I took in his essence, each scent a bit more intoxicating than the rest. His sweat, so fucking manly and amazingly tantalizing. The faint remnants of a unnamed cologne, the notes blending perfectly with everything else. A bit of cigarette smoke, not offensive in any way, just fitting. And an unknown scent, just Jeffrey. I could stay like this forever.

“Penny for your thoughts, doll.” He was running his fingers through my damp hair, such a soothing action, causing a sigh to drop from my lips.

“Just thinking how a girl could definitely get used to this.” I began drawing tiny circles in his fine chest hairs. Closing my eyes I took in just how amazing the past few days had been. A true dream come true that I was afraid would be ending way too quickly.

“And get used to it you will.” He placed his lips in my hair, on the top of my head. “The question I have for you…”

I sucked in a big breath holding onto it tightly.

Jeff must have noticed what I did. “Breathe baby!” He reached down to clasp my chin, forcing me to glance up at him. I did take in a breath, but my heart began racing, ready for whatever he was going to say. My mother always told me,’pray for the best, prepare for the worst.’ And I was truly expecting the worst.

“That face, although more beautiful than any painting, is making me want to cry. Sweetheart, why do you look like I’m going to ask you to kill your best friend?” He started stroking my cheek with his thumb, his other hand rising up to repeat this action with my other cheek. I then realized I had begun to tear up and he was soon wiping away runaway teardrops. He then dipped his face down, kissing the wetness away from one cheek, then the other.

“I am hoping these are most certainly tears of fucking joy doll, because beautiful, there is no reason to be sad!” He then sat up, offering his hands to help me sit up. I brought my feet up towards my body, sitting cross-crossed. He was putting me somewhat at ease, but what was he going to say?!

He was now playing with my fingers, twirling the rings I was wearing. His very obvious nervousness confusing me. He’s nervous, but telling me not to be? What ever could it be that he wants to ask me?

“I know you must be tired of me saying it over and fucking over again, but I need to make you understand. I have never felt this with anyone, no one. I don’t know what this is,” his eyes were staring so deeply into mine I felt he was trying to read my mind, and at this point I believed he could. I was totally opening myself up to him, body and soul you might say. “But what I do know is I cannot say goodbye, I will not. And I can sense you feel the same way.”

“I do, I can’t imagine not being with you. I don’t want to leave. It makes me ache to think of not being with you, near you.” I looked down at my legs, ashamed the tears were starting again. How could we ever work out? Why was I expecting a fantasy to become reality? Foolish girl.

“So, I have a proposition for you.” He placed his hands on either side of my head, forcing me to look up at him. “And I need an honest answer.”

#crzcorgi writes rpf #crzcorgi writes #jeffrey dean morgan x reader x norman reedus #jeffrey dean morgan x reader #jdm x reader x norman #jdm x reader #jeffrey dean morgan fanfiction #crzcorgi crz 4 jdm

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cyberpink · 8 years ago

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Uncommon Questions for OCs and their creators: Ferron Rift

in response to @bright-witch‘s ask. There was just so many questions per character so I decided to break them down by character so it’s easier to read/tag. Thanks for asking! : )

(Under a cut so I’m not clogging up anyone’s dash!)

QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? Quite some time. The longest he’s ever held still was for a job he did back in Hammerfell-- stealing a trinket back for a wealthy noblewoman spurned by a former lover. He stayed hidden in the attic without moving for nearly an entire day. He does enjoy the feeling of stretching his legs, though.

How easy is it for your character to laugh? He doesn’t laugh that much unprompted. He appreciated a well crafted joke, but he’s not like Reilya (She likes to fill silences with habit. He prefers solitude.)

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) He likes to think and plan out his next day before going to bed. Being prepared makes him feel more secure.

How easy is it to earn their trust? Very, very difficult. There are only a handful of people in his entire life that he has trusted. If you think you earned his trust; you’re probably wrong and he’s lying to you.

How easy is it to earn their mistrust? He pretty much distrusts you upon the first meeting. You have to earn his trust, and it’s not an easy feat.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? Laws are pretty much meaningless if they get in the way of his (and Reilya, by extension) survival.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? Certain foods. Flaky pastries usually do the trick. Nostalgia makes him sad and he tends to get lost in it.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child He is born under the Thief and has natural born affinities for stealth and other sneaky thief things. It made him sort of a pariah even when he was young. Both of his parents were fearful he was going to go down a path that a future heir of a noble family shouldn’t be involved in. So he was encouraged pretty strongly by his parents to train into knighthood-- against his own wishes. Like Reilya, he also has the affinity for magic, however his skills lie in the restoration arts rather than destruction. He would’ve liked to have become a healer rather than a knight, but I guess his parents had other plans. The joke’s on them I suppose, because his natural talents in thievery AND the healing arts is what has kept both him and Reilya alive for all of these years.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word? He doesn’t curse, like ever.

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? There are too many to count now.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? Ferron has an inquisitive mind and he’s always trying to piece together all the puzzle pieces. He will either ask for clarification or start reading between the lines and look for clues elsewhere.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach? Interesting question. He’d probably scratch it himself with something he found, I suppose. He doesn’t like to ask for help xP

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Black, brown, dark greens. I think he does, but he also looks pretty great in bright red too, I think. His complexion and dusty brown hair make it pop.

What animal do they fear most? I can’t really say he outright fears many animals. He’s hunted so many times and he feels like once you understand an animal’s nature there’s nothing left to fear. One animal he really doesn’t like to tangle with are wildcats.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? Ferron is on the shy side, and speaks a little awkwardly at times. He’s either too blunt or struggles to be assertive when he needs to be.

What makes their stomach turn? Thalmor. Big cities. Guards. Pretty much anything involving the possibility of being noticed. He really doesn’t like standing out in a crowd and does what he can to blend into his surroundings.

Are they easily embarrassed? Sometimes-- usually only when it concerns sex and romance.

What embarrasses them? Besides the above? Anything that points out his feelings of inadequacy.

What is their favorite number? 13.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so? Similar to Reilya; both forms of love are irreplaceable, precious things, that must be protected at all costs.

Why do they get up in the morning? The most practical of reasons -- to survive. Over staying your welcome in any place leads to trouble. Philosophically -- to see justice be served for his namesake.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? He’s already pretty aloof. It gets magnified x10 and he gets really quiet. He doesn’t like admitting weakness so good luck getting him to talk about it.

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? He gets very bitter, sad, and angry all rolled into one ball and gets distant and sometimes even a little mean. He’s really quite sensitive about all things that remind him of all he’s lost.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? He’s not super comfortable with just outright talking about it with just anybody. He still doesn’t get Reilya’s candor in that regard.

What are their thoughts on marriage? It’s not something he’s thought a lot about. The idea of marrying someone seems so far off to him. Who would want to marry an outlaw anyway? Someone who has very little to offer a partner? There’s too many complications. He’s much more interested in salvaging his family’s name and getting revenge for all the crap the Thalmor has put him and his sister through. It would be a disservice to any potential lover to be tied to him.

What is their preferred mode of transportation? By foot, but for long distances horses are a must.

What causes them to feel dread? When things don’t go according to his plans. He doesn’t like surprises.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? A lie works just as well as the truth in his opinion, unless he knows the person very well. He’s gotten so good at lying it’s become second nature to him.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? Not quite. He wants to do good but has gotten so wrapped up in what he’s lost and he’s so willing to fight to win that back that he would do just about anything to get there.

Who do they most regret meeting? So many people, but no one in particular.

Who are they the most glad to have met? Bauther. Bauther is another OC of mine; He’s a former Imperial solider who fought during the Great War. After the signing of The White-Gold Concordat, he remained critical of The Aldmeri Dominion and eventually left the Imperial army just a few years after the treaty was signed, deciding to remain in his home of Hammerfell, where he used his skills he learned in the army as a Mercenary-for-hire. They met after Ferron attempted (and failed) to pick his pocket. He’s a really gentle-hearted guy, and after realizing the kind of situation Ferron and his little sister were in, he decided to take the boy under his wing. First he helped Ferron find more respectable work, and they eventually become partners for a time whilist helping them stay under the radar. Bauther became somewhat of a role model for Ferron; Bauther and his Argonian wife Grisha are one of the very few people he places trust in.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? He will talk your ear off about Reilya like a proud parent. Otherwise he’s really not one for idle conversation.

Could they be considered lazy? Not at all. He trains with his bow just about every day.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? My friends, Ferron is nothing but a bundle of guilt and regrets.

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? He is silently happy, but doesn’t usually get involved unless asked. He likes to sit back and let his friends/companions do their own thing. He doesn’t want to get in the way.

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? He will insist he’s too busy for love. I’m sure when it happens, he won’t be expecting it and he won’t know how to handle it.

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? I guess if I had to pinpoint a method, he’d probable use the Keyword method. It’s simple but effective.

What memory do they revisit the most often? He has two: the night his parents “mysteriously” died, and the night his family home burned to the ground. Both are very painful memories for him.

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? Easy, if those flaws are beneficial to him; difficult if they prevent him from accomplishing what he’s set out to do.

How sensitive are they to their own flaws? Painfully so.

How do they feel about children? He adores children. Can’t get enough, actually. They’re so cute, and say some really goofy stuff. It’s hard not to smile around them.

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? To see the Aldmeri Dominion pay for everything they have done to his family: for the death of his parents, for using his own uncle against him and his sister before they could barely comprehend politics, for branding them both as criminals and denying them their birthright; he would do just about anything. And honestly, despite the fact that Ferron is shy and soft-spoken, that is why he can be terrifying.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? He’d shrug. Say something along the lines of, “Why do you care?” and probably never answer the question because he’d find it amusing to keep you guessing.

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character? I find his struggles super relatable. He has sacrificed so much to keep his sister safe and would go to the ends of the earth for the people he cares about. He’s always fighting his upbringing of feeling like the black sheep of the family, trying so hard to do his parents proud while also staying true to himself. It’s a hard balancing act and even though he doesn’t quite get it right, it’s still kind of admirable that he’s trying. It’s also just fun to write a complete and total Edgelord character once in a while.

B) What inspired you to create them? When I was creating Reilya’s TES backstory, I realized it was super unrealistic for a 12 year old sheltered child to be able to survive on her own while on the run from a tyrannical government. So the idea of Ferron was born through that. C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? For the reason above, yes. It took a while for me to craft him his own voice and narrative, I guess. D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? Ehhhh.. a little bit I suppose. He’s basically the same in essence though. But now, with freckles! E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? I think we’d get along really well. We both like the quiet and we're both night owls :^) F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)? I want to protect him and I want him to be okay. G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most? His martyrdom and low self-esteem. I wish he could value himself more and not be so quick to sacrifice himself for others. : [ H) What trait do you admire most? Haha, I guess all of the things I said in answer A!!!! I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe? Yes, he’s always been canon to the TES: Skyrim universe. J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character? Besides small details regarding political affairs in High Rock, not too much . There is some changes I have made to Dawnguard canon, but the vampire clan in that expansion isn’t really that fleshed out anyway, so I don’t think it’s a big deal.

#Ferron #Ferron Rift #oc meme #thanks for asking!!#the other ones will come soon #there's lots of questions and i'm having trouble picking the last character #Reilya will come next but I was in Ferron headspace when I wrote this out so it came out very naturally lol #how am i supposed to pick 3 of my babies #???

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starposition · 8 years ago

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Natal Chart Report

This birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for sai .

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy. Sun in Virgo It is rare to find the stereotypical nitpicky, exacting, "clean freak" in modern-day Virgos. Although the sign of Virgo has evolved with the times, there are some unmistakable traits that remain. Virgo people are generally respectable, hard-working individuals who have a love of knowledge and know-how. Virgo's symbol, the Virgin, shows itself in the lives of Virgos through a love of all that is "natural" and a certain purity of spirit that keeps Virgos self-sufficient and self-contained, at least on the surface. Virgos are sensitive to their surroundings, and they tend to embarrass easily. They are generally reticent when faced with anything or anyone new. However, once they feel comfortable, they can talk up a storm. Many Virgo Suns are not too comfortable in the limelight. These types are just fine living in the background, as long as they feel useful and appreciated. Solar Virgos have a strong sense of responsibility. Even when they've convinced themselves to be irresponsible about something or the other, they worry about it. Not all Virgos are workaholics. However, when Solar Virgos are not involved in some kind of project, there is generally a vague feeling of discontent. Even when their lives are filled up with work, they are restless and somewhat nervous creatures. The fear of under-performing is often strong. Virgos want to do things well. Some are exacting and thorough, and those Virgos who have convinced themselves to do a less-than-perfect job will generally feel incomplete. There's an odd combination of the intellectual and the practical in Virgo that is sometimes mistaken for coolness. In fact, Virgos are often self-effacing and shy. They'll brush off your compliments quickly and, sometimes, critically; but don't let that fool you. They need your respect and appreciation. In fact, the happiest Virgos are the ones who feel appreciated and useful. Add plenty of worthwhile projects to keep them busy, and Virgos can be some of the sweetest, kindest people around. Keywords: analytical, intelligent, reserved, critical, helpful, conscientious. Sun in IX You have a deep need to understand the world around you. You have high ideals and you have your eye on what's on the horizon. You are looking ahead, and at times can seem quite restless. You are proud of your knowledge and of your morals. Be sure to avoid self-righteousness in your enthusiasm to share your knowledge. When used correctly, you are a tolerant, adventurous, and curious person, and you want to see the best in people and in life. -212 Opposition Sun - Jupiter Although your intentions are generally good, you are given to overdoing things. You can easily gloss over realistic details and get yourself into debt, overindulge in pleasures such as food and drink, and promise more than you can deliver. For the most part, you find help for your excesses. Somebody's there to bail you out, as plenty of people believe that your heart is in the right place. Generally, this is the case, but if excessive behavior becomes a pattern, and you continually face light consequences, there is the danger that you will not learn from your mistakes and abuse the "system", relying on your friends and family to help you out a little too often. Your reputation for being "good people", thus, can eventually be used to further your purposes--something that should, of course, be avoided. However, many people with this aspect don't fall into the trap of losing their sincerity. You are generous, helpful, and charitable. Still, the tendency to live beyond your means is a real threat that you might struggle with much of your life. Another thing to watch for is depression. You tend to go through periods of intense highs when you are excessively optimistic. These periods are so marked that they seem to be unnatural and a fall seems to be inevitable. You can make promises you intend to keep, but have a problem with follow-through. Self-control can be a real problem. Try to avoid gambling altogether. Usually quite knowledgeable and generous with your time, you have many talents that you might take for granted. -85 Square Sun - Ascendant He can face conflicts in life due to a projection of character that doesn't match what is on the inside. Misrepresentation of the self is frequent. He must strive to understand how others perceive him and work on presenting a more accurate persona to the world, or he will rub people the wrong way or feel unrecognized and misunderstood. The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. Moon in Gemini Lunar Geminis are usually pleasant, witty, and charming people. At home and with family, however, they can be moody and irritable at times. People with Moon in Gemini are always interesting people--they have a finger in every pie, are curious to a fault, and are generally well-informed. Nervousness and worry are common traits with this lunar position. An underlying restlessness is common, and many Lunar Geminis need more stimulation than others. They usually read a lot, talk a lot, and think a lot with this airy, mutable position of the Moon. Their homes are often a perpetual work-in-progress. They generally dislike housework, but are big on home improvement. Re-organizing their homes in little--and sometimes big--ways seems to keep them happy, as Lunar Geminis are easily bored by both routine and constancy. Often, this is a reflection of their inner world--"the grass is always greener..." applies here. Inwardly, Lunar Geminis are often unsettled. Moon in Gemini parents are generally more adept at handling the intellectual needs of their children than emotional ones. Others' complicated emotions, in general, can be difficult for Lunar Geminis to handle. In their families, Lunar Geminis often take on the role of organizing get-togethers. They are at their best when they have plenty of things to do beyond routine. Moon in Gemini people almost always have a way with words. They are clever and witty, and more often than not can be found chatting with others. They are sociable and friendly, and feel comfortable in crowds. Some pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing, and lose touch with what they really want to do. Generally, Lunar Geminis have a million and one projects going. They are impressionable folk, and their imagination is boundless. Their openness to new ideas is admirable, although decisiveness and persistence take a blow as a result. Still, versatility and adaptability are some of the stronger traits of this position of the Moon.When irritable, these people can easily become snappy. Their moodiness is complicated--this is not the same kind of moodiness you'll find with water sign moons, for example. Usually, difficult behavior stems from inner restlessness. Lunar Geminis want to do it all, and have trouble sticking to any one project. When problems arise, the first instinct of Moon in Gemini natives is to talk things out. Their tendency to analyze can give them the appearance of emotional detachment. In fact, Lunar Geminis may be especially comfortable talking about their feelings, but feeling their own feelings doesn't come as easily. Those that don't take time out to really emote and understand their own needs may end up baffling others. Feeling misunderstood is common for Moon in Gemini natives. The only real solution to the problem is learning to get in touch with their own feelings. Short description: Sharp intellect. He likes literature, adapts to all situations and social groups. Work in contact with the public, literary occupations, travel. Weaknesses: lack of follow-up of ideas, indecision, goes back on decisions. Moon in VI Is not always a natural leader, but succeeds in being the right-hand of an important person. In most cases, he is an employee, worker etc. usually by choice. He likes the country, respects Nature and likes animals. You have an emotional need to be useful, to work productively, to be organized and on top of things, and to lead a healthy life. If these matters are chaotic in your life, it's a symptom of emotional unrest. You need a lot of variety on the job--to be stimulated and engaged in order to feel happy. Some of you might seem to change jobs often, forever in search of the "perfect fit" job. Acceptance that any job requires some level of routine is hard for you. You are very sensitive, and especially aware of minor health annoyances or body aches and pains. Some of you have hypochondriac symptoms. Some attempt to get out of things they don't want to do by emphasizing health problems or even exaggerate illnesses in order to gain sympathy. At your best, however, you're a person who always helps out and shows your affection for others in practical ways in order to help them solve problems and improve their lives. -85 Square Moon - Mercury There is a conflict here between the head and the heart. Your emotions tell you one thing and your mind tells you something else. The result is a see-saw effect: you can be emotional to the point of irrationality at one moment, and logical the next. How to blend the head and the heart is a constant struggle for you, usually because you have a tendency to resist blending them! You love to chat, enjoy story-telling and writing/poetry, sometimes enjoy bending the truth, and you possess a sparkling wit! You are animated when you speak, and have a sense of humor that others appreciate simply because it's very imaginative. You may be especially adept at satire. People can usually read your mood by how much you're talking. When nervous or excitable, you talk up a storm. Moodiness is a characteristic, definitely, and an especially subjective nature makes you prone to hypersensitivity. It usually has to do with the fact that you take in so very much from your environment. This is also one of the reasons why you tend to be indecisive. You may swing between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It's pretty much something that takes place "upstairs" in the mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time. You are always interesting, and usually funny. You have a tendency to misrepresent yourself with what you say from time to time, but you're a charming, if a little kooky, friend. -31 Square Moon - Venus Because you value harmony, you may find yourself giving in to others too easily, especially in the first half of life. Resentment is possible, as you can feel that you are the one who seems to do all the acquiescing. There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and a hunger for receiving affection. As such, you may get involved with people who seem to really like you, and you fail to consider whether you actually like them back! It's somewhat of a weakness, as you are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like and appreciate you. Generally, one of your life's lessons is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what you truly want and need. The functions of the Moon (which rules the emotions and feelings, amongst other things) and the functions of Venus (which rules social relationships, harmony, and partnership, amongst other things) are at cross-purposes. When you attempt to feed the needs of one function, it is often at the expense of the other, until you find some sort of balance. This can play out in a variety of ways. For example, there can be conflicts in partnerships about parenting or whether or not to have a family. You may find yourself compromising your own emotional needs in order to find and keep love. Peace and harmony are important to you--perhaps too much so, as you can easily be taken advantage of. Insecurity is something that you need to deal with at some point in your life. Very sensual, you sometimes replace love with food or shopping! You can also be quite sexually active and sometimes quite lustful. You possess a distinct lazy streak. You are capable of working hard, but you truly appreciate luxuriating and enjoying as many pleasures as possible, and self-discipline simply isn't always at your disposal! 27 Trine Moon - Uranus He is imaginative and has the Moon's intuition complemented by Uranus' independence and originality. His life is out-of-the-ordinary, with lots of changes and a great knowledge of the world not through reading but through personal experience. He likes the sensational, new things. He acts instinctively, but fortunately has a good sixth sense. He likes to be surrounded by original people, artists. 70 Trine Moon - Neptune Positive aspect: He is kind and sympathetic, with a strongly compassionate nature. When in love, he is usually very devoted. In fact, he is devoted by nature, not only in matters of the heart. There is an unmistakably compassionate and understanding side to his nature. He has a natural affinity to music. While everyone enjoys music, people with Moon in harmonious aspect to Neptune respond to music as a vehicle to heal, relax, and to uplift the soul. Naturally perceptive, without even trying he tunes into the feelings of others, and the mood of his surroundings. There is a distinct emotional need to escape into the world of imagination, and to withdraw from others at times when he needs to re-center himself, largely because he tends to "take in" a lot of mixed energies from his surroundings. Strong and sudden "feelings" and hunches can overcome him. More often than not, his intuition is correct, although his imagination is also powerful and he can read too much into a situation as a result. Some laziness is associated with this position. This stems from a natural timidity and sensitivity that is apparent from youth. He may have been labeled "shy" in youth, and family members or friends may have jumped in to "save" him from situations that required boldness or aggressiveness. Thus, passivity was accepted and, as adults, he may be less experienced than most when it comes to reaching out or going after what he wants. -134 Opposition Moon - Pluto He has intense emotions and passionate feelings. He fears the loss of control of emotional and domestic matters, and fears change. At the same time, he attracts change and disruptions. The love life or marital life may be riddled with emotional scenes, jealousy, and possessiveness because he attracts intense partners. Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit. Mercury in Virgo He discusses, deduces and judges. He reasons logically and accurately. He spends a lot of time on practical matters and keeping things in order. Sometimes nitpicky and nervous, secretly feeling he handles matters better than others. Mercury in IX His thirst for knowledge is never satisfied. He is full of mental activity. He undertakes exhaustive studies, always studying for pleasure. Likes journeys to faraway places, and can go to live abroad. You are eternally curious and hunger for knowledge. You enjoy studying and learning, and do it not because you have to, but because you want to. You enjoy exchanging ideas and personal philosophies with others. You can be especially buoyant, enthusiastic, and even inspiring in your communications. While you may not pay enough attention to details, you are skilled at finding a quick solution to problems. You readily see the bigger picture and enjoy sharing your opinions and ideas. You get off on how information affects people's lives, and you take great pleasure in learning that something you have shared or taught has inspired others to take action, experience something new, or make changes in their lives. Some of you might be too quick to offer advice, however, that might be lacking in thoroughness and practicality, or that you yourself don't follow. 435 Conjunction Mercury - Venus He looks on the bright side of life: he is gay, agreeable, optimistic, sociable. He likes to speak and write, and does both with charm and artistry. His intellectual pleasures are influenced by his feelings. He is amorous and sensual. He likes beauty, the Arts but also travelling. 100 Trine Mercury - Saturn He is or strives to be mentally organized. He is able to study, concentrate, and focus, and often has the patience to work towards a goal slowly but surely. He takes time to get communications "just so" and tends to prefer step by step directions. Respects tradition and rules. -111 Square Mercury - Pluto He may be impatient. He likes contradiction. His arguments are noisy and animated. You are very incisive and aggressive with your opinions. You have a tendency towards fanaticism and often want to impose your ideas on others, sometimes in a subtle manner and sometimes more imperatively. You will find yourself attracted by the occult and other mysteries but it is recommended that you avoid those subjects because they can generate certain fixations or obsessiveness. You must learn to control your impatience and impulsiveness, to think things over before speaking, and to respect the weaknesses of others. Venus represents an interest for emotions and values, exchange and sharing with others. Venus in Virgo Venus in Virgo people are not the flirtatious sort. Instead, their appeal lies in their dedication, their willingness to work on the relationship, and to make the relationship work in real terms. Unlike Venus in Leo, they won't try to impress you with grand gifts or promises. Their gifts are less showy, but perhaps far more generous -- gifts of devotion and attention to details about you. Venus in Virgo men and women quietly (and often slowly) make their way into your heart. They are quite sensitive in love -- even insecure -- and this reserved, loner-like quality is part of their appeal. They prefer to play it safe in their relationships, and they need to be confident that you like them before they make a move. They are great listeners and they make it a habit to observe and learn all of your ins and outs. Their love can be of the Kindergarten variety -- they show they care by nagging or criticizing. Remember, though, that they are not trying to hurt you when they are pointing out the flaws in your thinking, plans, or even character. They truly are trying to help! Venus in Virgo is attracted to nondescript people who have largely gone unnoticed. Show-offs and know-it-alls turn them off. Pleasing Venus in Virgo involves showing you appreciate them for all the little things they do -- and they do a lot. The problem is, they do these things so quietly that you may not always notice or credit them for all these kind gestures. They do need some space (after all, they're generally quite busy making everything work), so give it to them. Be genuine, not ostentatious. They are really not difficult to please after you have taken care of these basic needs. Avoid pushing your friends or family on them too fast -- remember they are a little shy. They aim to please, and are easily intimidated by your experiences. Let them know how much you value them, and they will reward you with devotion and a charming willingness to talk things out. Short description: He is very devoted, does not show emotions: he and doesn't always let himself go, either through fear of ridicule or through fear of not being loved in return as much as he loves. He is therefore sometimes too undemonstrative. May give off the sense that his love is not for free. Caring but worries that he is not exciting enough. Careful with money. Venus in IX Finds love abroad or marries a foreigner. Refined mind, he likes the Arts, is carried away by beautiful things. He is very happy abroad. You are attracted to, or you tend to attract, people of different cultural backgrounds. You are attracted to a partner with a sense of adventure. You are not especially clingy, and you expect a certain amount of freedom in a partnership. You want to feel like you are growing as an individual, and you won't be happy in a relationship that is restrictive or confining. In fact, you have a great love for the feeling of freedom or limitlessness. Your hips and thighs may be especially attractive! You appreciate a lover who is enthusiastic and not afraid to have a good time (with you!). You aspire to high ideals in love, but some of you might pursue sensations in love rather than true or deep feelings and attachment. Beware of a tendency for dissatisfaction with what you have, as the tendency to think that the "grass is greener" elsewhere can keep you from enjoying or developing what you have. 33 Trine Venus - Saturn He has a good grasp of reality and of duty. He is thrifty, reserved and does not show off. He likes truth and justice. In love, his sentiments are sincere and deep, he never plays false. He is, of course, faithful in love and friendship. He can love a much older person and appreciates his intelligence and good sense. -35 Square Venus - Pluto In an attempt to control the outcome of a love relationship, or the loved one's feelings, you can turn to manipulative games. Even if you do "succeed" at it, there is never a feeling that you've won someone over for who you are, and this feeds a vicious cycle that you should try to avoid getting yourself into. Your feelings are intense, and even extreme, when it comes to love. You might attract intense relationships that have love-hate themes as a result. You are passionate when you love, definitely, but also passionate when you hate. You easily put pressure on your partner, as you expect much loyalty and honesty in your intimate relationships. Be careful not to let your relationships get to a point where your partner is superfluous and you are working through your own inner demons through him or her. Certainly, you will learn much about yourself through your relationships, and you may not always like what you see. You will meet yourself (the "darker" side or inner demons) through your relationships, and it will be critical that you recognize it as your own "material" and not project it onto your partner. Letting go of a relationship can be hard for you to do, especially if Venus is in a fixed sign (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius). Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy. Mars in Leo This is one of the more sexual positions of Mars. While they are rather easy to arouse, their passion is long-standing. Mars in Leo natives enjoy sex more than most, as long as heavy doses of love and romance are part of the package. In partnership, they demand loyalty and admiration. Impatient with small-mindedness and disloyalty, Mars in Leo natives generally have a strong idealistic streak. They easily get fired up when they feel they've been humiliated, and they defend their high principles with ardor. Mars in Leo natives act with their heart. Their ego is tied up with their actions, so that most anything they do becomes a source of great pride. Though some are self-righteous and quarrelsome, the more sophisticated people with this position are kindly leaders. Mars in VIII Sexually very powerful, he is also capable of tremendous focus and hard work. Sexually intense and deep. Is adept at professions requiring research, strategy, uncovering truths, and analysis. Arguments may occur over inheritance. -129 Opposition Mars - Uranus He is full of contradictions. He is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. He fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them. 17 Trine Mars - Ascendant Jupiter represents expansion and grace. Jupiter in Pisces He attracts the most good fortune when he is charitable, tender, devoted, compassionate, looks out for the underdog, and is giving. Values compassion and charity, and is motivated by a universal vision. Peaceful personal philosophy. Faith in the goodness of life brings rewards. Jupiter in III He has good judgement, a sense of values, an open and optimistic mind, a good education and high moral standards. He likes studying. He is successful in communications work. His professional work is a vocation and plays a great part in his life. -27 Square Jupiter - Ascendant He appears to have a very honorable and generous attitude toward others, as if he has their best interests at heart. Because to others he seems tolerant, understanding, or even wise, they may also turn to him for advice. May go to excess when eating. Saturn represents contraction and effort. Saturn in Taurus Doesn't like to see greed or waste in others. Must not shun materialism and possessiveness completely, and learn to build up a sense of being "deserving" of some pleasures in life. Saturn in IV He needs to be dominated. He has a sense of organization and accepts his responsibilities. He achieves his objectives in spite of slow progress, with many hurdles to overcome. He is persevering and patient. -26 Square Saturn - Neptune Living conditions are difficult for Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty. Uranus in Aquarius Gets over-excited at the start of a task that interests him. His debonair personality gives others a banal impression. Uranus in II He has a lot of flair. He is unreliable at work, always ready for change. He must have an out-of-the-ordinary job, in which case all goes well: otherwise, he will often change jobs and will have financial problems. 8 Conjunction Uranus - Neptune 28 Sextile Uranus - Pluto He fights to improve his daily life, he is persevering. Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty. Neptune in Capricorn He is discerning, wise and sensible. Neptune in II He may prefer not to attach too much value to money, but if this is overdone, there can be quite a few problems in life concerning money and ownership. He might make money through artistic pursuits, but must avoid the potential pitfalls of putting too much faith in ideas that don't have enough grounding in reality. Financial advice is important to obtain. Pluto represents transformations, mutations and elimination. Pluto in Sagittarius Great aspirations: sexuality and love are idealized. House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life. Ascendant in Sagittarius The world is filled with adventure, new things to experience, and, most of all, hope, with this Ascendant. There is an unmistakable faith and enthusiasm with Sagittarius rising people. Grand schemes, big promises, and a willingness to explore and experiment are themes, although follow-through is not a strong characteristic of Sagittarius. These individuals are somewhat restless and often active people. They always seem to be looking for something that is just out of grasp -- and many do this their entire lives. They can be quite direct at times, yet they are likable enough to forgive for their faux-pas. Most have a lot to say and offer. Their insights and opinions are usually interesting and exciting, although sometimes lacking in details. Sagittarius rising people have opinions about everything, and they just love telling others exactly what they are. Not all people with this position are outgoing folk, but they all have a way of moving about that at least exudes a certain level of confidence. Some might even call them naive or overly optimistic. Even the quiet ones don't shrink from life and from experience. One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humor. Even when they're feeling low, they manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever they do have. The placement of Sagittarius' ruling planet, Jupiter, will give more clues to how they go about expressing themselves. Jupiter in Capricorn, for example, might give a more sarcastic approach, but underneath there lies an unmistakable hope and spirit for living. House II is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions. House II in Capricorn A cautious approach to money and personal finances, possessions. Financial success may be slow but steady. A hard worker. Savings are important. Patience with accumulating. Money situation improves with maturity. House III is the area of social and intellectual learning. House III in Aquarius He is always at the forefront of progress. Likes everything that is new, original and ingenious. Likes every new idea, as long as it improves life and naturally is good for everyone. He is happy to travel even at a moment's notice, likes a life full of change and meetings. House IV is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth. House IV in Aries Lots of authority within the family. He knows how to take the destiny of the family in hand. He is very energetic, very strong, knowing how to cope with life's setbacks. House V is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling. House V in Taurus A pleasant home, a charming wife, loving and sweet children, nice little meals, pleasant evenings with the loved one, that's the good life. House VI is the area of learning by material transaction. House VI in Taurus Completely trusted at work. Knows how to keep a secret and is of irreproachable honesty. Weak point: the throat. House VII is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action. House VII in Gemini Marries quite young, and divorces later. A second marriage doubtless with less passion but a lot of friendship. Frightened of living alone in old age. House VIII is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul. House VIII in Cancer Small inheritances. House IX is the area of learning that shapes the identity. House IX in Leo He is tolerant, accepts all differences and respects them. He is honest and loyal. House X is the area of material action. The Mid-heaven represents the work one will do in his life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older House X in Libra Contacts of all kinds will lead to social success, professional, through marriage etc... Likes society life, friendships that could help professionally. Sometimes jobs connected with justice, but always involved with important and influential people. House XI is the area of search for social and intellectual security. House XI in Scorpio Adores to debate endlessly with friends who don't share his ideas. The discussion can lead to words, even a certain verbal violence. House XII is the area of education and of emotion. House XII in Scorpio Work in the police field, likes investigating other people's private lives.

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