#side tangent. rocky is so funny

[perereiii]

they’d be best friends I think

[1800duckhotline]

i know u mentioned salice and gale have stuff going on can i ask abt it ?

you can always ask about it. this ask is from a week ago. i am sorry. i promise you that ive been honestly like digesting the game ending and juggling how to answer this at the same time. ill try to be very short and brief with my Thoughts

I'll still put this under a readmore after a bit because it might still be long and embarrassing LMFAOOOO

The short of it is that it starts rocky when the adventure starts because Salice has like. a potent dislike for wizards (i'll hear you say: vera you said her best friend is a wizard and her grandma too. i say: i'll get to it) and so immediately she would find him Insufferable. This is mostly a one-sided thing though bc I imagine him going "I'm just here man. I didn't do anything to You"

For how otherwise like harmless Gale is, she would find his lackluster humility and tendency to slip into condescending tangents very annoying, and in my head she'd always have to make quips or remarks about it. As it is one-sided on her part, I imagine he still acts amicable and tries not to turn discussions into arguments, even if her unwarranted hostility can get grating

This is also because salice in general is a distant, aloof individual who's acting as the nice guy out of pure circumstance. She's been on the road for more than 4 years after a bounty was put on her head in baldur's gate; she hardly trusts, and retains most of her past prejudices against those who are naturally gifted in magic, or are in general more attuned to it. [a/n: the details of this are in her biography] Since I imagine Gale being insightful enough to notice this, but not wanting to pry about it, kind of gives the hint that there's not just a simple-minded superficial dislike going on but something a little more complex. But again, he likes privacy and she does too. So it's just there in the air.

That said a turning point I imagine in their relationship with one another kind of is the weave scene in act 1? The best way I can put it is that yes, Salice is kind of mean to him oftentimes, but a lot of times also seems interested in the things he talks about (this imagine being a bit after they start adventuring so shes letting sliiightly loose on her distancing with the others), so he's like hey, well, I mean, why not show a magic trick. It can help with our bond since we need to stick together :-)

And the scene happens and it leaves Salice like. Befuddled. Because. Y'know. the whole Weave Rejection Problem she's had since forever. For an instant, one random night, during an awful unwanted adventure, She Did It. She channeled the Weave. The thing she Sold her Soul Over, you know, to be able to Do That. At the end of the scene she's got a thousand yard stare and he's like "????? are you alright" and she's just like Dead Inside, just a little bit

AGAIN HARD TO PARSE MY THOUGHTS BUT LIKE the short of it is that she's like. Okay. i need to get my feelings in check. but EVIDENTLY if someone's gonna have answers it's gonna be THIS GUY. So she decides to be nicer if not to try and get answers. Getting HELP is another thing, but if he's such an expert and having him around made that channeling happen then he knows something maybe???? Hopefully???? This is all before he reveals that he's got a nuke in his chest.

When that happens it all clicks together for her - a little too close to her own kind of story even if obviously she didn't get the attention of a goddess, but is rather seeking the attention of an entity she isn't even sure exists. But she did also catch the attention of a powerful archdevil, so it's similar, she figures. It's funny because I imagine her going "man, that sucks. I totally get it, dude. Happened to me too. Sorry about it. We'll find a solution I'm sure" and he goes "What do you mean 'happened to me too'? Do you care to elaborate" "Absolutely not ."

it's all kind of a Tell or Not To Tell game because Salice has Psychological Issues even if shes a chad and is generally very secretive of her past and such.

I have more thoughts to spare but i think I rambled enough. However I will add that I think in my head the reason why the romance makes so much sense is because fundamentally they are very similar in what motivates each of them but also drastically different in how they approach their objectives.

Gale made his gravest mistakes due to his ambition, even if the intentions were as good-natured as can be. He wanted to prove himself not only loyal but equal to Mystra, which was risky in of itself, but well definitely human of him to do. He is regretful of it in the present days of the story and he can be either encouraged to stray away from or follow that ambition when the crown of karsus enters the stage. He has a sense of recklessness when it comes to his own-selfbeing if the (initially) very self-sacrificial dialogues mean anything. And They Do Salice also committed the stupidest deed out of a desperate pursuit of power and ambition. The fact she could not succeed her grandma's lineage was driving her mad enough to sell herself to an archdevil, so long she would have powers, and so long he'd honor an utterly delusional desire of hers. How I imagine it, if she were a companion you can stray her from staying a warlock, or just let her be and suffer the consequences of not giving Mephistopheles back the Crown (since I am 100% he would somehow want it back). Salice's recklessness comes from the fact that she's not afraid of death. Maybe a little too not afraid of it.

But she's also extremely hypocritical because she'd sway him from pursuing godhood, while she's like oh me? No yeah I'm good. Girl you are stupid ? So I imagine that once her own story is unravelled for everyone to know, he'd be like Oh. I Get It Now. That's why you were so MEAN to me. But is he really in the place to judge? In their respective 20s they both ended up doing some pretty stupid things after all, of various degrees of severity

Oh this is embarrassingly long. Well I'm sorry if you are still reading this this is the delirium of a madman . That said thank you also for the questions I'm still ironing out some kinks and I am happy to answer any specific question/curiosity tbh I want to draw comics about them but im SLOW... as well as in general salice and the companions

[dulcewrites]

Back on my modern aemyrah broadway bs

I was think of what types of shows everyone would gravitate towards/be in/create

Viserys: he’s very Andrew Lloyd Webber coded… the good and the bad chile. He’s your big flashy megamusical. Your Cats, Starlight Express, and Phantom. Viserys probably first hit big in the 80s when that was on the rise so it makes sense that is his bread and butter

Shows like miss Saigon, les miserables, the lion king, jersey boys etc probably fall in that camp too. Kind of exactly what you think when you hear big broadway production

Aemond: likes his musicals more off kilter. They make a splash bc their content/topic or their story telling devices. Spring Awakening, the last five years, the Book of Mormon, fiddler on the roof, little shop of horrors, heathers, and avenue q, rocky horror picture show, something rotten, falsettos, rent

He on top of liking broadway is a major classics guy in terms of plays and literature. I can see him pivoting from musicals to just plays.

Myrah: myrah fell in love with musicals bc of the amount of amazing women at the forefront. Being a leading lady is her dream so she loves a score with a woman (or women) wailing on it lmao. wicked/the wiz, mean girls the musical, dreamgirls, six, the color purple, funny girl, Chicago, anything goes, cabaret, waitress, Sweeney Todd, evita, west side story, legally blonde the musical, hairspray, thoroughly modern Millie

She’s also a jukebox and Disney musical girl.

*also tangent but myrah def worked at her local ymca or theatre as like a theater consultant. She ran those programs like the damn navy 😭😭

[cheeriecherry]

hi!! how are you? can you write for baku, deku, & todo where they meet their s/o family for the first time & they’re super scary? they’re all super tall, buff, full of tattoos, loud, aggressive, mean & the fam is super overprotective over s/o & the 3 are just freaking out bc s/o is the opposite? s/o is super sweet, calm, bubbly & short so the last thing they were expecting was this & they’re just freaking out & trying to get on their s/o’s family good side? sorry if that sounds complicated 😭

The more specific the ask, the better! I’ll see what my brain can come up with, I’ve just had couch medicine so

Requests are temporarily closed so I can catch up on them!

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

-Loud boi isn’t gonna let anyone know that he’s intimidated.

-He’s already a little nervous to meet your family for the first time, though he’d never admit it. You were so hesitant to ask him to come over, and at first he thought it was because he was the loud and aggressive one.

-But that Saturday afternoon when he walks up to your house and your dad answers the door, he’s like ‘oh’ and it all clicks into place.

-He loves you a lot, so he wants to make a good impression, but he also never backs down from a challenge. So he and your dad have a stare down in the doorway, until you stroll around the corner and see them.

-You scold your dad and tell him to stop being rude to your boyfriend. Your dad doesn’t say anything, but he sighs and lets Bakugou in.

-The fun doesn’t stop there, though. You tug Bakugou around the house from room to room introducing him to your family, and every single one of them gives him the same cold, mildly threatening stare.

-Ngl your uncle who lives in the basement apartment kinda scares him, but he doesn’t say anything and tries to play it cool. The guy is built like a brick house and covered head to toe in intricate tattoos.

-He doesn’t mention it, but you can tell that your boyfriend is wondering about potential ties you have to the mafia, with a guy like that living in your house. But you assure him it’s just your uncle’s quirk that gives him the art on his skin, and that he’s actually pretty shy about it and doesn’t like going out.

-The last person he meets is your mom. With everyone being so much taller and physically stronger than you, he assumes that your mom is gonna be the person you got your tiny genes from.

-Lol no

-She’s at least six feet tall, and without a doubt the most intimidating person in the house. She’s got the face of an angel and the grace of a butterfly, but behind her smile Bakugou can see the willingness to kill anyone who hurts her baby (you).

-Lunch with the fam is a little awkward at first, until your younger cousin goads Bakugou into a spice eating contest. Then the shouting at the table begins, everyone placing their bets on who they think will win. You’re the only one who bets on your boyfriend, and you get like a hundred collective bucks out of your family members when he wins.

-He’s earned the respect of your cousin, who’s like eight maybe and now deems Bakugou a respectable opponent. Bakugou is torn between yelling and patting the kid on the head, so he probably does both and shouts at the kid to keep practicing so they can try and beat him one day.

-At the end of the visit, your boyfriend is surprisingly calm. You’re walking him home, arm in arm, not really saying much. Though you do tell him that he’s taking your living situation pretty well.

-He’s like wdym? And you explain to him that most of your friends and potential partners are scared of your family and refuse to come over because of them.

-Bakugou just scoffs and is like ‘of course they are, because they’re chicken shits. As if I’d be scared of a bunch of-’ and he pauses because you start laughing, not at him, just about the situation.

-Your family actually really likes him and find him a suitable boyfriend for you. They know you’re strong, but they want someone who can protect you and who’s loyal to you, and they see that in Bakugou. They probably invite him to the next family gathering.

MIDORIYA IZUKU

-A nervous boi

-He wants so badly to make a good impression on your family, to get their approval of your relationship. He knows you’re close with them, so he doesn’t want their potential opinions of him to sway your desire to be with him.

-He dresses casually but tidy, and while he waits at the door he fiddles with his shirt a bit.

-Almost has a heart attack when your sister opens the door and glares down at him with the rage of 1000 suns.

-He does his best to introduce himself formally and be polite, but your sister is making it awfully hard for him to stay focused. She doesn’t say anything to him, so he just continues chattering until he’s off on a tangent and saying way too much.

-And you’re like ‘I feel my boyfriend danger senses tingling’ so you go downstairs and lo and behold. 

-Ofc he’s not in any actual danger, just the danger of making a fool of himself. You set a hand on your sister’s arm, and the moment you do it’s like all the anger in her body dissipates and she turns into a sweet, smiling bean. Then she skips away to go do her homework.

-You pull Midoriya inside and give him a once-over anyways, just to make sure your sister didn’t burn holes in him with her glares. But he assures you he’s alright, and he’s a lot more relaxed now that you’re around.

-Probably says something like ‘I can see why you were so nervous about bringing me to your house, your older sister seems really protective of you’

-and you’re like ‘um,,,,actually she’s my younger sister’ and he’s like ‘wot’ and you’re like ‘also she’s the least scary of everyone’ and he’s like ‘wOT’

-You waste no time parading him from room to room to show him off, all while his soul slowly escapes his body.

-Your parents actually scare him the least, like, of course they’re protective of you, but they have the common courtesy not to exaggerate their scary qualities. They still tower over both you and Midoriya, but they’re mostly civil in terms of interactions.

-Your older brothers scare him a little bit more. They share the basement suite, so you drag your boyfriend downstairs to introduce them all to each other...and interrupt their poker game with their friends.

-All of them have some kind of tattoo visible, nothing Midoriya recognizes as any gang symbol, but he’s still wary. However, he manages to say hello and all the pleasantries, and actually gets a smile out of one of your brothers, who tries to rope him into a game of cards.

-Thankfully you save him with the excuse that you still have more family to show him off to, but he’s left with the promise of ‘later, then’.

-Lastly is your sister, who he’s technically already met. She’s arguably the scariest of everyone. She’s easily almost six feet tall and looks like she could bench press the two of you with ease. You promise him that she’s a literal sweet pea, but when the two of you walk up to her room, Midoriya isn’t so sure.

-She glares at him hard, like she’s judging him about everything and if he doesn’t pass she’ll snap him in half. He has to swallow the lump in his throat, and quickly looks around the room for some kind of thing to ask about that might get her to open up.

-And he sees it. One of the rarer All Might figures from an old merch line, one that he also has, so he’s like ‘do you like All Might’ and it’s like a switch is flipped.

-You breathe a sigh of relief as the two of them start nerding out about their favourite hero, sprouting facts and recalling films and old news videos. When he mentions that All Might teaches at his school, your sister honest to god squeals, and starts asking all kinds of questions about what kind of teacher he is, what he’s learned, what it’s like to be a protogee of such a great hero. He answers everything with glee, all his former fears forgotten.

-When it comes time for dinner, your sister insists that your boyfriend sit next to her, which is apparently a very high honor because one of your brothers sulks off to the other end of the table. (You assure your brother later that it’s just temporary and that your sister just really likes your boyfriend).

-But seeing the two of them interact warms your heart, it’s usually hard for your sister to make friends because she’s so intimidating, so you’re glad they’re getting along. And so does the rest of your family! They see Midoriya’s kindness and hardworking attitude, and they warm up to him pretty quickly.

-It ends up being a really enjoyable night, despite the rocky start. Though sadly yes your boyfriend does eventually get roped into a game of poker, and yes your brother’s cheat, but you cheat too, and you’re all betting in chocolate coins. You share your hoard with him.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

-He goes into it being not nervous, and ends up being Quite nervous once he meets your family.

-When he arrives, you’re thankfully the one to answer the door, so he doesn’t get hassled, so everything seems pretty normal right off the bat. Until your cousin walks through the room and is like ‘???? who’s this pipsqueak???’ and Todoroki is torn between being his usual snarky self and being polite.

-He wats to throw shade right back, but for your sake he wants to make a good impression. You’re used to his manners (or lack thereof) but he doesn’t want your family to think he’s not worthy of you. He really loves you a lot and wants to stay with you.

-So he goes for a formal introduction, even going in for a handshake. It’s kind of funny, because your cousin is like ‘lol what are manners’ but your glare forces him to return the gesture. His hand completely dwarfs your boyfriend’s, and you have to hide a snicker.

-And then the guy awkwardly wanders out of the room.

-You and Todoroki kind of just stand there for a second, and then he’s like ‘is this what you meant when you said your family was intimidating’ and you’re like ‘:3′

-You give him a tour of the house, a nice modest place with traditional aspects. It’s nowhere near as big as his, but he like it that way, it makes the place more homey and warm.

-You introduce him to family members as you come across them; your younger twin nuisances cousins, who are more mischievous than dangerous, your aunt and her wife, who look like they could get away with murder, your brother and his friends, who mostly only glare at Todoroki to try and make him uncomfortable.

-Thankfully he’s used to the stoic and slightly scary expressions, thanks to his dad. He wonders momentarily if you’re safe here, but then he realizes that everyone in the house is especially kind to you, and very affectionate when they think he’s not looking. He doesn’t even bother asking the question.

-Lastly are your parents, who are in the kitchen preparing dinner. They’re a little perturbed that you’re both in the kitchen when they’re working, but they seem to be less purposefully intimidating than everyone else. They’re still a little scary though.

-Then he notices that your parents are making soba. From scratch. Which is particularly difficult to master, so he figures they must be pretty well practiced if they’re so good at it.

-Without thinking, he asks if they’ve made soba before, and soon your parents are sprouting off about their culinary careers and the restaurant they run. You were supposed to take over one day, but you ultimately chose a different path in life, even after they taught you so much.

-Todoroki didn’t even realize you could cook, but now he wants more than anything to try your meals someday, or learn a few things from you and make dinners together.

-It startles him a little that he’s thinking so far ahead in your lives, but honestly if you’ve managed to get him as a boyfriend then you’re likely to have him for your whole life, if you want him.

-He talks a little more with your parents about the food, expressing in his way that he’s looking forward to a dinner that’s had so much hard work go into it. And you can see the little light go on in your parents’ heads, the light that signals they approve of your choice in boyfriend and have started making room in their hearts for him.

-Dinner is nice, pretty peaceful aside from your twin cousins causing their usual trouble, but he’s nonplussed by it. he still wonders how you managed to come out so small in comparison to everyone else, but it doesn’t bother him too much. He can see that you’re loved and well cared for, and a little piece of him hopes that one day he’ll be able to get to know your family even better.

[shiny-parsnips]

23, 25 and 30,,, love you! <3

Haiiii thanks bestie mwah

23 - ASTRONOMY YASSSSS I’m starting to get into history more cause it’s so interesting and like goofy and silly but it also lets you compare it to modern times, y’know? See how things changed and all that jazz. But ASTRONOMT??? YASSSSS THE BEST!!!! My favorite planet is Jupiter its the most colorful and it’s so goofy like it can crush me in seconds just by entering the atmosphere?! Yasss slay!!! It has the funniest lil moons and its like wooooow we love to see that!! All the planets are amazing in their own unique way, of course. Like for example, Saturn is like..... holy shit!!! Those rings are like no joke. I’ve heard a lot of people say it’s the ”ringed planet” and it’s like YEHA YOURE NOT WRONG BUT ALL THE GAS PLANETS HAVE RINGS???? It’s just Saturn’s are more visible that’s just too silly ALSO ISNT IT FUNNY HOW URANUS IS ON ITS SIDE??? Playing a silly prank on us poor thing probably can’t get up though NEPTUNE IS SO PRETTY TOO it’s so interdesting how like........ it is itself. LIKE HUH YOU ARE AMAZING??? I’m leaving out the rocky planets sorry guys MARS IS SO PRETTY BRIGHT RED SLAYYYY they say it used to be like earth but then dried up and shit due to the sun’s solar winds and its lack of atmosphere made it worse than liiiike us so now it looks like that. VENUS IS SO INTERESTING like did you know it’s the hottest planet even though it’s only the second closest from the sun?? ITS TRUE!!!! Because its atmosphere is so thick and it traps all that heat and all those gases so it looks like what earth once was SPEAKING OF EARTH ITS THE ALMOSY THE SAME SIZE OF IT ISNT THAT CRAZY BONKERS??? Mercury... waow... A FULL ORBIT FOR YOU IS ONLY 88 DAYS??? OKAY SLAY IGGGG silly bonkers it’s called Mercury after the messenger god cause it’s the fastest ehehehehe silly!!!!!! Anyway this is getting really long lemme hurry it up. All in all APPRECIATE OUR SOLAR SYSTEM ITS SO UNIQUE!!!!!!

25 - I learn by learning.......... uh I suppose you could say I’m like.... idk a mixture of both like it really depends on what it is like if it’s like reading about something like astronomy I remember it well from there I don’t need to do anything special same with auditory learning I’ll listen fine if you don’t drone on and on but let’s say it’s like an experiment and it’s like I gotta hear it and read it to do it YOU GOTTA SHOW ME LIKE PLEASE I CANR DO IT FROM A TEXTBOOK OR WHATEVA dunno if this answers it like idk I just learn but sometimes I need it a specific way for me to perfect (or at least do well in) it and to understand it mwahah

30 - I. LOVW. READING!!!!!!!!! Reading is great if it’s something very interdestjng it’ll be a breeze but like if it’s boring as hell its like ENOUGH!!! Reading is great to take a break from the world lile with Dostoevsky I LOVE DOSTOEVSKY OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT HIM HE MAKES THE SILLIEST LIL CHARACTERS BUT KEEPS THE PLOT INTERESTING AND ALL THE CHATACTERS ARE WELL THOUGHT OUT AND AHVE THEIR OWN LIL FLAWS AND SHIT BUT THEYRE AMAZING YASSS WE LOVE TO SEE RAZUMIKHIN AND KIRILLOV!!!!!!! Anyway I also really like other authors like Orwell is wonderful Camus I just got into he really made me love him because of The Stranger and I will be getting into Kafka soon eheheheh Lord of the Flies is great too mwah very good would read again and would cry to again yasss!!!! Sometimes I’m like “Okay time to start reading..... sigh“ and it’s like hard to stay invested but other times I’m like “OKAY TIME TO READ YASS!!!!” Like with the stranger I was like ugh time to read the strranger but then it got SO INTERESTING???????? Like wow dude you really did that and you still don’t gove a shit way to go bozo (affectionate)

HALP I KINDA WENT ON A TANGENT FOR MOST OF THESE MY BAD but erm enjoy if I answered a question the wrong way let me know or something ack

Thanks again Eni!! We love to see you being you and slaying life like the boyboss you are!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

[rentsturner]

For headcanon, could we have reader have a crush on older!rents with the long hair?

(took some canon from porno for this)

I went off on so many tangents with this, i deeply apologise

You see him for the first time when you go to his club in Amsterdam

He’s standing off to the side, like he’s in a world of his own, slowly sipping a drink, his eyes on the dancing bodies crowding the floor

There seems to be something mysterious, something intriguing about him. He owns the club, but he never seems fully at ease it in, looking like he would be ready to run at the slightest disturbance

but hes gorgeous

It’s the hair that draws you to him

Dark blonde hair, hints of auburn at the roots, falling down to just above his shoulders

When he pushes it back from his face with a large hand, bicep straining against his tight shirt, his jaw tensed in concentration, your heart skips a beat

His gaze meets yours from across the crowd and he flashes a disarming smile, all teeth and bright eyes.

So you start going more often, just to catch a glimpse of him.

Eventually Mark notices 

He comes over to you and start chatting, seemingly happy to find something to do

Most of the conversation is him asking about you and your life

He avoids your questions about his background. All you know is that he moved here years ago from Edinburgh.

It seems like he’s hiding something, but he’s kind and he’s funny and he seems to really care

Unsurprisingly, you spend the night together. The man knows what he’s doing, that’s for sure.

You’re worried that he will lose interest after that, but he seems to want something more

Rents takes you out on bike rides around the city, showing you all his favourite spots away from the tourists.

You always take him back to your place in the evenings, more often than not he’ll stay over, but he usually leaves early to go to the gym.

sometimes you’re confused as to why he never offers to take you to his own home, but eventually he tells you about the rocky relationship with his (ex)wife, so you understand.

He takes you out for lunch at the local cafes, his arm wrapped securely around your waist when you walk along the streets. 

If he isn’t holding your waist, he’ll have your fingers entwined with yours, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a kiss on your knuckles.

He never officially asked you to be his partner, but it was something unspoken between the two of you, a mutual understanding that you would do things together now.

He convinces you to go on a run with him one time - never again. Mark doesn’t realise how fit he is and your legs were seriously burning at the pace he was setting.

but its fine because he apologises and makes it up to you that night by massaging your sore legs, amongst other things ;)

There’s always lots of deep, philosophical conversations with Mark, usually when you’re lying in bed after sex. He seems to know so much about life but never explains why. 

You can tell he’s educated, that’s for sure, but there’s also a rebellious streak to him, an anger towards upper class politicians and their webs of lies, an deep empathy that he feels towards the working class and their struggles. 

He has so many opinions and once you start a debate with him it will likely go on all night, from topics ranging from the meaning of a title of a novel, to arguments surrounding the meaning of life.

It’s obvious that he likes to make his own mind up about current affairs.

But then there’s the cheesy, comedic side to him. He tells so many bad jokes but you can’t help laughing along with him when he flashes that goddamn smile.

and you always have to brush his hair from his face when you’re kissing, the long unruly strands constantly falling over his forehead. 

But sometimes you think Mark styles it that way on purpose, because you always catch a slight moan from him whenever you tug slightly on his dark blonde locks. He secretly loves you pulling on his hair.

When he has the heart attack at the gym, you’re so scared, but when you get to the hospital he convinces you that he’s fine, that you don’t need to worry 

You hold his hand and fall asleep by the side of his bed after he comes out of the operation.

The next day he comes clean and tells you everything: the addiction, the skag deal, stealing the money, running from his mates for the rest of his life. 

And he tells you that he’s going to go back to Scotland and sort it out. 

‘But don’t worry, love, I won’t be gone for long. I’ll always come back for you’

He wants the long hair gone, so you sit him in front of a mirror and shave it off carefully, making sure to keep the top slightly longer. You’re sad to see it go, but he still looks good, even with his hair short.

He kisses you goodbye at the airport, holding you close, whispering that he’ll be back soon. 

And he does come back, taking you to Scotland with him to meet Sick Boy and Spud.

(I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted Brit 💛)

Renton Tags: @rosionis @callmearwen @ohhellokenobi @afogocado @stardancerluv @goldenkenobi @a-seeker-of-imagination @saintlaurentkenobi @mlmxreader

[sheikah]

Dying to hear your opinion/recap from last nights ep!

I’m so sorry for taking four days to write a review haha but here you go! My thoughts on 8.01 :)

Ok so a fair warning going into this: I’ve endeavored to be more positive on my blog during this season because it’s the final one. It’s the last time we will ever get this rush of new episode premieres, the active fandom, all of it. I also still love the show in spite of its flaws and mistakes, and I don’t hate D&D. But this episode made a lot of character mistakes that I don’t feel I can overlook. I spent the past few days making positive show content hoping to mitigate my negative feelings about the episode, but they’re still here, so I’m going to post this analysis and be honest about it. If you don’t want to see any GoT negativity, turn back now! There’s good and bad in my review, but a lot of bad. There’s also a lot of tangents to past episodes and plot points, and a healthy dose of ranting. But it’s all relevant, I promise :P Also, please don’t interpret any of this as character hate. As I try to make clear in my analysis, I feel the problem is that people are being written OOC, so when I don’t like what they do, it’s because I feel it’s not true to who they are. I love all of the remaining characters, so this isn’t “anti” anyone. Except maybe David Nutter lol.

The episode opens on the procession into Winterfell, and I loved the callback to 1.01 where we saw Arya rushing to see Robert’s forces marching through the gates. This time, Arya is all grown up and watching another child excitedly reacting to the soldiers. 

I really enjoyed this opportunity to see the scene through Arya’s eyes, because it was so clear to me that she was happy for Jon, and that she was thrilled by the dragons. The moment where she sees Jon and beams with joy, but is too nervous to call out to him, was an early gut punch to my feels and really set up the suspense for their eventual meeting. I also liked that even while the other Northerners were running around panicking about the dragons, Arya was calm and looking up at them in wonder. It was an important moment to the tone, because it established that the Northerners’ fear is misplaced. Arya, who trusts Jon, knows he wouldn’t bring anything dangerous to Winterfell. 

I also liked how this scene showed little clues of the intimacy of Jon and Dany’s relationship. The last we saw them was boatsex, and there were a lot of unknowns about the time skip and where they would stand as a couple or partnership in the aftermath. But the scene (and the whole episode) really put their romantic relationship front and center. They ride side-by-side as equals, a total “royal couple” image. When the Northerners are wary of Dany, Jon is right there to comfort and reassure her, basically telling her he expected this reception, and trying to keep things light. I also love that when she seems down about the Northerners’ glares, the dragons do their flyover and it brings a smile to her face. The dragons have been a source of comfort to Dany in rough times since 1.01 with Drogo, way back when they were just little eggs :) I’ve seen some antis saying her smile at the flying dragons is a sign of madness because she’s smiling while people scream. But I disagree. The scene is showing that even when she’s sad, the reminder of the dragons–her children–strengthens her and lifts her spirits. 

We also get to see Missandei and Grey Worm during the march, and this scene in particular really struck me. @goodqueenarya made a great gifset of the moment and rightly captioned it as racism and xenophobia from the Northerners. I realize it’s uncommon to apply those terms to a medieval context but it is clearly what’s at play here. The close-ups on Missandei’s face, her uneasiness bordering on fear, Grey Worm’s concern, and the open hostility of the Northerners in the crowd, are all working together to show that this moment is upsetting to Missandei and Grey Worm and possibly reminiscent of their time as slaves. Remember, the entirety of Dany’s army is made up of people who aren’t only foreign, they look it, and this clearly seems to be a factor in the Northern hatred. It effectively set the tone for a whole episode of tension between Team Dany and the North. 

When the shot cut to Tyrion and Varys, I was excited, but the very first bit of dialogue is about Varys’s balls (or lack thereof). This was the beginning of an episode fraught with weird writing that didn’t deliver imo. I love the humor on this show but Tyrion’s joke wasn’t actually funny so I wouldn’t even qualify this as effective humor in this instance. There are so many things they could have been discussing at this moment that would have been interesting exposition: Jon/Dany, how Tyrion will react to seeing Sansa again, the Northern hostility, ANYTHING. But we got balls. 

The scene when everyone finally arrives inside Winterfell was kind of an emotional rollercoaster for me. I noticed the musical parallel–the same music was used during Robert’s arrival. It made Jon and Dany seem even more the royal couple, which I appreciated. I also liked how the arrival was much more informal than Robert’s. There was no kneeling involved, which emphasizes Dany as a different sort of ruler. Jon seeing Bran and immediately dismounting his horse and kissing his little brother on the forehead … it was beautiful, and we saw so much raw emotion and happiness from Jon. I didn’t love Bran’s response, though I do think it was fitting writing in-keeping with his robotic characterization since s7. Still, that characterization makes me sad. I wanted Jon to have a warm reception from his family, at the very least, and for there to be at least some catharsis in seeing Bran for the first time since 1.02. 

This brings me to one of the things I most hated in the episode, the reception from Sansa. I was happy to see Sansa and Jon hugging, showing that things haven’t completely deteriorated between them despite the long absence and her disapproval of his choices re: Dany and bending the knee. But when Dany comes over to greet Sansa, and greets her with what I considered to be genuine kindness, I absolutely hated Sansa’s response. Jon and Dany are in love. That much is certain, and even from this early in the episode, both Jon and Dany have been happier than we’ve ever seen either of them in the whole long history of the series. I bring this up because I fully believe that Dany was eager to make a good impression on the sister of the man she loves. I don’t think her greeting to Sansa was an empty courtesy. And for Dany to attempt genuine kindness and be rewarded with Sansa’s prolonged up-and-down glare and reticent “Winterfell is yours, Your Grace,” is just unnecessarily cold. 

I understand that Sansa cares deeply about Northern Independence. I also understand that she doesn’t know Dany or what she stands for, who she is as a person, or what she’s achieved. She doesn’t know how Dany saved her brother’s life, or how Dany will be invaluable in saving every life in the North and beyond. Regardless, Sansa is smart. She’s studied under political masterminds like Cersei and Littlefinger for the greater part of her adolescence and she’s learned hard lessons. I was surprised to see her display such obvious dislike to a visiting monarch right out of the gate. Additionally, I believe that Sansa does, to some extent, trust Jon’s judgment, so I expected her to use that trust to give Dany the benefit of the doubt. And as we can see from later moments in the episode, she doesn’t. This is what I was talking about when I mentioned above that I have problems with the writing. I don’t think this level of pettiness is actually in-character for Sansa. 

Going further into the episode, I feel the same way about Sansa’s other scenes as well. The scene in the Great Hall exasperated me for multiple reasons  but I’ll talk about the issue with Sansa first. Again, I want to emphasize that I believe Sansa to be intelligent and good with political maneuvering. She successfully covered up Lysa’s murder in the Vale. She successfully saw through Littlefinger’s treachery in s7. I would think this would lead her to approach her dislike for Dany with some delicacy and subtlety. Instead, the writing decides it would be more fun to have her unleash petty and biting remarks at Dany for fun. The bit about how she is going to feed the army was incredibly stupid writing for two reasons: 

Dany is coming from the South, an area with more agriculture. She would have easily been able to collect and then transport food to feed her own armies. Additionally, she was able to feed her armies while on a literal rocky, mountainous island at Dragonstone. If she managed it then, she obviously would have planned for the North. For the writing to insinuate that Dany didn’t plan to feed her people is ridiculous since Dany has been a queen feeding the Unsullied and Dothraki who follow her throughout their travels since season 3. By failing to acknowledge or mention this the writers essentially guaranteed a conflict that makes no sense. 

Similarly, Sansa has known that they would need Southern allies since 7.02. Her line about how she didn’t plan to feed Dany’s forces doesn’t line up with past events. She knew that more armies would eventually need to come North, AND she knew specifically that Dany and the Unsullied and Dothraki were coming North ever since Jon’s letter in s7. So it is similarly bad writing for Sansa, and also another example of unnecessary cattiness on her part. The delivery of those lines was clearly directed the way it was for a reason, and it makes Sansa come across as spiteful and not the professional noblewoman we saw in s7 lining breastplates and planning grain storage. And whether she planned for the Targaryen forces or not, she needs them. Treating them with scorn is stupid and helps no one. Additionally, I found it oddly telling that the sequence of dialogue goes something like this: Tyrion mentions the Lannister army is also coming North.This is when Sansa interjects. When she complains of feeding the greatest army ever, she complains of feeding the Unsullied and Dothraki only and doesn’t mention the Lannister army, even though the Lannister army is what Tyrion was talking about at that moment. Gotta love how it’s only a problem when it’s Dany’s forces and brown people. That’s the issue for her, not the Lannisters, the family who have been killing and oppressing the Starks for the better part of a decade. Where is the logic for this dialogue? I genuinely feel Sansa was written out of character in this sequence because I think of her as kinder and more tactful.

After this bit Lyanna Mormont steps up to berate and belittle Jon Snow, because why not? I found this scene to be ridiculous. These people in the North purport to want Jon as their king, and yet they treat him with no respect. I’m not saying that subjects shouldn’t be allowed to disagree with a ruler, or that there shouldn’t be open discussion in meetings like this one, but the way she talked down to him was just absurd. When have we ever seen any leader addressed this way? No monarch has ever been spoken to this way. Even at the Night’s Watch, Jon wouldn’t abide being spoken to this way. But because it’s Lyanna Mormont and it’s cute, it suddenly makes sense for her to stand up and shame Jon and say he is “nothing at all?” 

And this is one of the things that makes me so angry: no one ever really listens to Jon. This particular point isn’t one I consider a fault of the writing because it isn’t anything new so I believe it’s consistent and is done on purpose, but I hate how selfish everyone around Jon is. Jon Snow has lived selflessly for the entirety of the show. He meekly accepted secondhand status in the Stark household as a boy, and quickly acclimated to the fact that he wasn’t special at the Wall, either. While at the Wall he protected Sam, something that he did for no reason other than his inherent goodness and concern for others. After learning about the Freefolk he treated them with respect and forced the Night’s Watch to do the same at great personal cost. After his death he agreed to take back Winterfell FOR his family. He had no desire to enter into the Battle of the Bastards. He wanted to head South, but he stayed and he fought for the Starks to retake their birthright, something he believed he would never really be part of. When he was named King in the North he didn’t want it but he accepted it and did his best to rule with honor and bravery. When Dany asked him to bend the knee, it would have been easier to immediately agree, but he was thinking of his family and his people first. He endured political tensions with a possible ally and spent a great deal of time in the South because he was trying to do what he thought was best FOR OTHERS. He only swore to Dany when he became certain that she would be a good queen to his people. Regardless of how the fandom wants to spin things against Jon, he’s always put other people first. And after everything Jon has done, and everything he’s sacrificed, he is still constantly being criticized and attacked by his people. Dany’s people, by comparison, trust her judgment for the most part. There have been exceptions, but her core group–the Unsullied, Dothraki, and her ruling council–see her actions and they follow her willingly out of admiration for her deeds and her ideals. Jon’s people see his actions and his kindness and take advantage of it, constantly questioning his judgment and speaking against him both behind his back and to his face. I literally don’t understand why these people are mad that he bent the knee when they so obviously do not have trust or faith in him as their ruler.

Anyway, I appreciate Jon doing a little to defend his choice in bending the knee to Dany, but I didn’t like the way that was handled either. Because what Jon said isn’t completely true. He didn’t bend the knee only to save the North. Dany agreed to save the North BEFORE he bent the knee, so he did it because he believes she would be a good ruler for the North. He did it because he admires her leadership and because–as he has now expressed at least five times–he doesn’t want to be king. That’s what I wanted to hear from him, not, “Oh, I had to do this to save the North.” He is saving the North. He is. But he wasn’t forced to bend the knee, and the Northerners need to know that. It would help ease them into trusting Dany.

I also would have liked to hear from Dany herself in these moments. I realize that she didn’t want to overstep or make things worse, but other people spoke for her all throughout the episode, and it irritated me because I believe Dany’s natural leadership and pragmatism could appeal to Northern sensibilities given the chance. 

Additionally, I also think it was out-of-character for Dany to sit back and let Jon be harangued on her behalf this way. I have brought up this scene dozens of times now but it bears repeating here: in season 6 Dany granted independence to the Iron Islands and allowed Yara to be a sovereign monarch, a queen. She allowed this after knowing Yara for all of five minutes. And when Tyrion asked her, “Are we going to give everyone who demands it their independence?” Dany replied with something like, “She didn’t demand, she asked. Others are free to ask as well.” This, coupled with Dany’s last line of dialogue from s7, “I’m not going to conquer the North, I’m going to save the North,” led me to believe that Dany would, in fact, allow Jon to remain King in the North, or allow the North to remain an independent kingdom. 

Let me be clear to all my fellow Dany stans reading this: I don’t think there is anything wrong with Dany wanting to be queen of all 7k. If she decided never to allow Northern Independence or even Independence of the Iron Islands, I would be fine with it. There was one, absolute ruler of all 7k for centuries. Dany deserves to want the same thing, and I know she would be a good queen. BUT Dany has consistently said she wants to make the world better than it was, to “break the wheel.” Those ideas, coupled with the dialogue mentioned above from s6 and s7, make me think it’s more consistent with her character at this stage for her to decide that it doesn’t matter if Jon is King or Warden of the North, so long as there is a good person leading the North. And let’s face it, Jon is a good person, Dany knows this, and she’s in love with him. Additionally, she has seen the Army of the Dead firsthand. She’s one of the only people who has. I think it would make far more sense if Dany, being the person she is, and having seen the Night King, would put the Northern bickering to rest by assuring them that she isn’t taking their sovereignty and that she will allow them to be an independent kingdom under Jon if they so choose after the war. 

I realize that Jon doesn’t want to be king. But if he is so averse to it that he would say no to a crown even if Dany offered it to him, then he needs to say that. That needs to me made clear, so it doesn’t appear that Dany is taking away Jon’s and the North’s rights or independence against his will. By keeping her silent on these matters the writing left a lot unsaid that needed to be said. And when Dany did speak I didn’t always agree with what the writers chose for her, either. I’m talking specifically about her saying, “I’m her queen. If she can’t respect me …” about Sansa. Did they really need her to ominously trail off? I mean, really? Dany is not this scary, ominous person. She just isn’t.

Moving on, Jon’s reunion with Arya was absolutely beautiful and made my cry. The running hug, Jon’s face, all of it was what I wanted. I’m glad they got the moment alone they deserved. I also loved them comparing swords, and the dialogue about Jon not surviving the knife in the heart. When Jon asked her if she’d ever used Needle, Maisie’s acting was so perfect because it showed Arya’s reluctance to remember just what she’d used Needle for. The past hurts her just like it hurts Jon. They’ve both been through hell and grown and changed, but they still love one another deeply. Which brings me to my one issue with this scene. Why did Jon and Arya’s reunion have to turn into Jon insulting Sansa so that there is an opening to Arya defending her? Jon and Arya were always ride-or-die bffs, they were each other’s favorite. The way Arya said she and Sansa were defending their family as if Jon isn’t doing the same just rubbed me the wrong way and I don’t feel it was necessary to the scene, and neither was Jon’s negative comment about Sansa. I’ll be interested to see how Arya handles Dany’s presence moving forward, since Arya wasn’t around for the scenes addressing everyone’s explicit displeasure at Dany being in the North. 

Arya’s reunion with the Hound wasn’t what I wanted, but it could’ve been worse. Being who he is, I do think Sandor calling her a bitch was something of a grudging compliment. He hides behind a mask of cold callousness himself so to recognize something similar in Arya was meant to be the closest thing to kindness he could manage, I guess. But I loved their dynamic in the past, and the moment when Arya was in the House of Black and White and Jaqen hit her for lying about wanting the Hound dead. I knew she didn’t want him dead, not really. I knew they cared for each other. I would have liked to see a little more of that. I’ve liked the little interludes of people who were mentor figures in Arya’s life, like how Lady Crane resembled Catelyn. I think Sandor was something of a weird father figure for Arya so I was expecting a bit more warmth in their reunion.

Her reunion with Gendry, though, was PERFECT. It was absolutely everything I wanted and more. Everything about it. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was shippy without being cheesy, cute and flirty while still completely in-character for both people. I was smiling so hard the whole time and I literally can’t want to see more Gendrya. 11/10 would watch again haha. Joe Dempsie is sexy and Arya is getting Gendry in his prime and I am 100% here for it. Arya flirting is something I never knew I needed in my life but I’m so glad it’s here haha.

Speaking of shippy things, I can’t believe I’m saying this as a rabid Jonerys stan and mainly Jonerys blog, but I didn’t love the dragon scene. It felt incredibly sudden to me, and wildly out of place in the episode. Everything about the dragons in the episode confused me. Earlier in the episode when Bran told Dany about Viserion, the moment was all but ignored. I feel like it was literally added in post. Like they forgot to include it in the original script and didn’t film a reaction, so they just had Isaac say it later and added it in lol. It was that weird to me. That should be a huge bombshell, to EVERYONE. Yes, Dany in particular, but everyone should be distraught that there is now a DRAGON on the enemy’s side. But only Dany reacts, and she barely reacts at all beyond a brief moment of concern. 

She seems much more concerned when the Dothraki tell her the dragons aren’t eating much, which leads me to the dragon scene. The whole reason that Dany and Jon are approaching the dragons is apparently because they aren’t eating, but that subplot is completely dropped, she doesn’t address it beyond saying “they don’t like the North,” and then she mounts Drogon as if nothing is wrong. As a shipper, I loved the cute teasing that came next, and Dany trying to keep a dry sense of humor about it while messing with Jon as he considered riding Rhaegal. It was absolutely adorable and I can’t overstate how much I loved seeing them happy. I was basically yelling every time either of them smiled. But that doesn’t mean the scene made sense. I’m sorry, but it didn’t?

Jon and Tyrion are the only people in the show aside from Dany to ever even touch the full-grown dragons. Jon touching Drogon in s7 was a HUGE deal. Dany was amazed, Jon was literally crying with wonder, the music was serious and emotional. It was a beautiful and momentous scene and the directing made sure it felt that way. But when it comes to riding a dragon, everything is suddenly slapstick humor, and the scene has literally no setup at all? 

I am NOT opposed to Jon riding a dragon. I’ve always wanted him to ever since I found out about R+L=J in like 2011 lol. But I wanted there to be a reason he attempts it. Dany is the only person in over 100 years to ride a dragon, and for no reason other than her teasing, Jon is suddenly going to attempt it? Ideally I would have liked it to be AFTER the Targ reveal, but I do understand why it was before. In “Inside the Episode,” Benioff comments that only Targaryens can ride dragons, and that Jon is “slow on the uptake.” So they did it beforehand to make it more believable for Jon when Sam tells him he is a Targaryen. That’s fine. But couldn’t they have at least contextualized why he attempts it beforehand? Couldn’t Dany have said, “Hey, we now know the Night King is riding Viserion into battle. The stakes are somehow even higher. We’re going to need all the air support we can get, and I trust you to try and ride Rhaegal. I need you to try it so we have a better chance in a fight.” That would have taken literally 30 seconds and it would have made a lot more sense. Instead, we are given, “Hm. My dragons aren’t eating and are unhappy. I’m going to ride one though. You should do it to. Learn by doing. XD”

And the scene itself felt so cheesy. Again, I’m not opposed to humor, but to have Jon dangling off and everyone in the Winterfell battlements gawking at him was just … silly? I wanted it to be a badass moment, I guess. A memorable and intense and iconic GoT moment. And I was let down. I do appreciate that they show dragon-riding as an acquired skill, and that Dany’s an expert. But I didn’t appreciate the silliness. 

Anyway, when they landed at the waterfall I liked it better because it was the fluff I was waiting for. The dialogue was cute, and the makeout was super hot. I was grateful for that, even the goofy cutting to the dragons watching them. It was only the dragon riding that rubbed me the wrong way. But as a shipper I couldn’t be happier that they gave us fluffy, happy, totally in love, beaming-with-joy Jonerys. I’ve probably watched that bit 20 times already haha. 

But of course, that joy just has to be short-lived. This leads me to my least favorite part of the episode: the Tarly drama. Randyll Tarly is a piece of literal garbage. He sent Sam to the Wall on threat of death. He used to chain Sam up in a dungeon. In the show, we’re shown that in addition to this, he is racist toward wildlings (despite living nowhere near the Wall???) and he calls Gilly a whore, as well as constantly fat-shaming and verbally abusing Sam. He also betrays the Tyrells and sacks Highgarden with little to no urging from the Lannisters. In the episode preceding his death, he encourages Bronn and Jaime to flog tired and wounded soldiers who can’t march fast enough. There is almost nothing else that could be done writing-wise to establish how badly Randyll Tarly sucks. And Dickon Tarly, for all his supposed innocence, bore witness to all of the above. He was complicit in everything that happened to Sam and fine with it because he would receive Sam’s inheritance. So after s7 finished up, John Bradley, who plays Sam, gave an interview wherein he said that Sam doesn’t even consider himself a Tarly anymore. He also said Sam would never get between Jon and Dany about his father and brother’s deaths because he wouldn’t be that upset. This was, of course, before Bradley was given an s8 script. But I think it’s worth noting that these were his thoughts before being given a script and forced to stand by the show’s writing. It makes no sense for Sam to be as upset as he was at receiving the news of Randyll’s and Dickon’s deaths. He can be sad about his brother, sure. I understand that. But it’s what he did next that drives me crazy. 

Jon’s parentage is one of the biggest bombshells of information in the entire series, if not THE biggest. I’ve been waiting for eight years to see this scene. But Sam isn’t prompted to tell Jon out of the goodness of his heart or concern for his friend. He goes while emotionally compromised about his family’s deaths, and that motivates the conversation and taints his entire message. He doesn’t even tell Jon the circumstances of Randyll’s and Dickon’s death. Hell, the writing doesn’t even give Dany a chance to tell Sam the circumstances. Sam just tells Jon that Dany executed them, without giving a reason at all. It’s not because they refused to bend the knee. She doesn’t just burn people for refusing to kneel. They were TRAITORS!!! Why is that being ignored? In 7.01 Jon and Sansa argued over traitors and how seriously they must be punished. It was established that the penalty for treason is DEATH. Why is Dany being maligned for that? Why are people discussing the incident without using the word treason? WHAT IS THIS WRITING????

And since the writing doesn’t mention the important underlying circumstances of the Tarly deaths at all, Jon’s Targaryen heritage becomes more about opposing Dany than it is about Jon, his identity, or his feelings. Literally what prompts Sam to tell Jon, is that Jon says Dany is the queen, and Sam says she “shouldn’t be.” This is so beyond fucked. Sam is Jon’s best friend, and he isn’t selfish. Sam is one of my favorite characters. But it is so wildly out-of-character for him to use this moment for his own personal anger and bias against Dany. Yet he does, and when Jon finally believes it, when he tells Sam that he isn’t/doesn’t want to be king, Sam presses even further insisting that Jon is and must be king. 

I know that in the past Sam showed faith in Jon’s leadership by nominating him as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, but this is different. Jon has said so many times how he hates ruling. Even Robb didn’t want to sit on the Iron Throne. No one who knows Jon would think he would ever want it. No one who cares about Jon would push him toward it. So this ties back to a point I made earlier in this post about Jon being surrounded by selfish people. It seems everyone except for Dany and Arya and Davos want to use Jon for their own ends. Sansa and the North want him to maintain Northern autonomy and Sam wants him to usurp Dany’s claim because he’s mad about his family. Everyone is selfishly ignoring Jon’s own desires for how he wants to live his own life, and more importantly ignoring Jon’s strategy for literally saving the world and fighting the Army of the Dead. It’s getting very old. 

What Bran said early in the episode should have been the title of the damned episode, because the episode skips so many important conversations and facts that I feel like the writers themselves were the ones who decided “we don’t have time for all of this!” Yet, at the same time, they’re wasting precious time with conflicts that shouldn’t even exist. I wanted to scream with relief when Davos finally suggested a marriage alliance with Jon and Dany. We all know that if the writing weren’t trying to milk every drop of drama out of Northern Independence and the parentage reveal that they possibly can (drama they’re milking at the expense of YEARS of characterization and development) that Jon and Dany would already be engaged. S6 ends with Dany breaking up with Daario to form a marriage alliance when she arrives in Westeros. She arrives in Westeros and falls in love with Jon Snow–a king, her equal, and an honorable man. Jon wants to help Daenerys and wants her help, and Jon falls in love with her, too. The only problem is her desire to be queen and its conflict with Northern Independence. If they married, all of this would instantly go away because they would both become royalty and the North would have its chosen representative literally ruling alongside the queen as a king himself. And again, I can’t repeat this enough, the fact that they’re literally in love should only make this solution even more obvious. 

But until that solution is reached I fully expect the Northern plot to continue being out of character for literally everyone involved, and I fully expect to continue being upset about it lol. And where the hell is Ghost?!

Anyway, I don’t have as much to say about the incidents outside Winterfell. The Theon/Yara scenes were actually my favorites of the episode. Gemma and Alfie are honestly amazing and their expressions in every scene were perfect. I cried when they hugged on the deck and Yara told him their house words and added “but kill the bastards anyway.” THAT was good writing. Perfect. A+. It was everything I wanted and more and I’m excited that Yara is still going to be in the game somehow (which I assume since she mentioned aiding in Dany’s forces’ retreat from the North if needed) and that Theon is going to Winterfell. 

The Cersei/Euron bits just made me sad and confused. I was sad for Cersei because she looked so miserable and reluctant to sleep with Euron. The idea of even more sexual coercion on this show is sickening to me. But then I was confused because afterward it felt almost like she was kind of into him? Until the end of the scene, anyway, when he mentioned wanting to get her pregnant. I do believe she is pregnant already, so I guess they’re setting up something where Euron might think her pregnancy by Jaime is his (assuming her pregnancy lasts)? I do think it’s funny how the elephant thing became such a meme. And I also expect her to send the Golden Company–elephants or no elephants–North immediately. When Qyburn mentioned other plans for Dany, I assumed Cersei was going to try to kidnap her when the Golden Company attacks the North. We have multiple stills from the next episode but none outside Winterfell. I’m thinking maybe they can’t show anything elsewhere because it might spoil the GC leaving to head North. But this is just a theory. 

Speaking of Qyburn, the Bronn scene was trash and I can’t believe in s8 we’re still having to look at pointless prostitute sex scenes. But the bit about Cersei asking Bronn to kill Jaime or Tyrion was chilling and I guess I expect him to at least attempt it at some point. That’ll be interesting. 

The scene at Last Hearth was another I actually really enjoyed. Edd’s line about Tormund’s blue eyes was hilarious and I love both characters so much. Most of all, the gruesome display of Ned Umber’s corpse and all the severed limbs was genuinely terrifying and I was so scared when he woke up and started screaming haha. It was great horror and a necessary reminder that the White Walkers are still around and are still a serious threat.

The ending with Jaime and Bran was a great sign-off to the premiere and provided excellent meme fodder all week. I have to say the one good thing to come from robo-Bran has been the memes. The Curb Your Enthusiasm one is my personal fave of the week. 

Tldr, the good: Jonerys kisses and smiles, Jon and Arya reunion, Theon and Yara, Last Hearth creepiness. The bad: Everyone up North is OOC, with Sansa, Sam, and Dany standing out to me especially in this regard, pretending Viserion didn’t get turned into a wight basically, weird jarring tonal shifts throughout

Overall I obviously didn’t like the episode but I don’t want to dwell on that. I’m looking forward to more and hoping they will be better. I hate to be this negative about it because I love Game of Thrones. It’s my favorite show of all time and writing and talking about it is pretty much my favorite hobby these days. I went into the season expecting to love it, and I still do, but even after sitting on 8.01 for days, I still feel let down by it and I want to be honest about that. That being said, I don’t want to simmer in negativity so this is hopefully the last I’ll be complaining about it. I don’t want to answer a lot of negative asks on it (sorry for being so behind on asks, by the way :( I’m trying to balance making content and working and it isn’t going well haha). Here’s hoping Sunday’s episode is better. 

If anyone actually read this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed the episode more than I did do disagree with me, that’s ok, too! These are just my opinions, and they took hours to write. So please be civil haha.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: hiraeth

Author: @slickandsolangelic

For: @usernamefieldhere

Rating/Warnings: T (warning for existentialism and disassociation)

Prompt: Hinata dealing with the consequences of having Kamukura as a past self, au or canon

Author’s notes: I hope this is to your liking, and I hope it’s okay that the au I picked is dnd-esque fantasy! I had lots of fun with this, and I can only hope that you do, too ^^

The Isles of Jabberwock are oft a pleasant place to be in, their sand a fine gold that lets itself be swept away by the lapping currents from the crystalline blue ocean that surrounds them. Better yet is the sun there, bearing down on them with its golden rays, easing flowerings into bloom and saplings into growth. Hinata is very, very glad that they managed to rescue it from being leveled down by those ambitious bandits from the east.

An adventuring life was unpredictable at its core, but unusually gratifying after a job well done.

Which is to say, it feels really fucking good to beat up some bad guys and get money for it, but such a thought is embarrassingly self indulgent and thus will remain at the very back of Hinata’s mind, where it belongs.

Nanami looks up from the weapon she’s examining. It’s a medium sized spear with a silver tip. She seems to weigh it in her hands for a bit, before letting out a satisfied hum.

“Komaeda-kun, would this be good to use if you ever wear yourself out using your magic?”

“Oh, Nanami-san, that’s really kind of you to think of me,” Komaeda starts to say, looking up from the item he was examining, a small flute embroidered with bronze trimmings. “But I’ve never really been good with sharp things. And as I’m already worn out, I’m afraid I might just point it the wrong way and, as per chance’s design. Being impaled sounds like it’d be inconvenient for our party!”

“Yeah,” Hinata says solemnly, because he’s traveled with Komaeda long enough to know that this is entirely possible.

“Yeah,” Nanami says, and she puts the spear back.

“I like this,” Hinata says. He raises both his hands to show them them silk pouch nestled in his palms. “It’s magical, so you can put up to three hundred pounds of stuff in there.”

Komaeda is at his side then, gliding past the tables laden with strings and wooden instruments. His arm brushes Hinata’s when he reaches from the small card attached to the golden thread around the pouch’s hem.

“It’s also worth five hundred gold pieces,” Komaeda says.

“Oh,” Hinata says.

“Oh,” Nanami agrees.

“If Hinata-kun really wants it, I can-” but Hinata is already putting it back.

They wind up circling the aisles of items for a few more hours, the other two interjecting with commentary when one makes a suggestion. It’s more comfortable than anything, Hinata muses, surfing through their options with one another together like this. Battles where their competence and trust in one another made the difference between loss and success, between life and death; that’s something that’s undeniably special. Something that matters, in a way, and Hinata knows that, and he is grateful- but he much prefers the quieter moments like these, when all that matters in the moment is their group effort at bargaining with the shopkeepers, the sunset’s rays framing their silhouettes as they journeyed through the winding paths of towns they’d saved or served.

There’s something he’s come to appreciate about their regular time spent together as friends rather than adventuring companions. It’s more bothersome than jarring (in a way that makes Hinata feel equal measures irritated and fond) when Komaeda answers a yes or no question with a tangent which existentially questions the universe and when Nanami turns out to have been asleep with her eyes open for the past hour they were going over plans.

It’s nice, Hinata thinks. It’s just… nice, to have moments of quiet in between. Away from threats to their life during the day, and away from his night terrors when it grows darker.

The Isles don’t really have much to offer aside from scenery and impressive craftsmanship when it comes down to it. They have a good time crossing the bridges that lead up to the separate islands, though (it doesn’t take them that long to haul Komaeda out from the water when he falls off one), and the locals aren’t unpleasant folk to converse with.

The third island has a slightly less relaxing ambiance than the others. Of the six, it’s certainly the loudest and most vibrant of the bunch– Komaeda almost immediately identifies it as the art venue when they pass by a Bard-run tavern by the name of “Titty Typhoon”. It sounds like hell in there, but hell in fifty different types of musical instruments and also wildly out of tune.

“Well,” Komaeda says, looking cheerful. “They’re having fun.” His hands are clasped together, and his eyes are widened in something that’s either wonder or contemplation. Hinata’s learnt to recognize when Komaeda begins to form overly complex thoughts over things that really aren’t that deep, but he chooses not to intervene.

“Very loudly,” Hinata says.

“And out of tune,” Nanami adds, but she’s smiling.

“Everyone’s Bardic inspiration manifests in different forms.”

“Yeah, well, it also helps when it manages to inspire without being a Bardic pain in the ass.”

“Hinata-kun speaks very boldly! Well, I guess I can’t really blame you for not finding that kind of music to your fancy, not when your own bardic prowess is unique in a way that’s unrecognizable to most regular people such as myself.”

“That was months ago, holy shit-”

“The sweet melody still haunts my dreams.”

“You’re horrible.”

“You’re the most inspiring artist a commoner like me has ever had the pleasure of hearing.”

Hinata’s shoving him now, trying to stifle a smile behind the sleeves of his leather armour plating, and failing quite spectacularly.

“Asshole,” Hinata says, but there’s no bite to it. Komaeda gives him a smile that’s a different kind of unsettling, only because it makes his insides turn funny. It’s wide, but soft around the edges, and it makes his eyes crease ever so slightly. Then he looks away, and that’s that.

.

Hinata hasn’t slept in what feels like three fucking days.

In reality, it’s only been about two and a half- the other half he spent goofing around with Komaeda and Nanami in the Isles of Jabberwock, hooking up their party with new shit for the next challenge.

This is bad. With the map of the nearby continent spread out before him on the scratched and damaged inn table, he should be getting in the mood to mark their next exploit. It’s a pretty good map, even if the dim yellow glow emanating from their lamps doesn’t do its details much justice.The sharp strokes that form the peaks of mountains are unmistakable nearby the expertly woven lines of rivers and streams, cutting through grassy landscapes and flat wastelands. There are circles and lines which mark territories and label them, categorizing them as either off limits or safe to explore.

But with how tired he is, Hinata’s beginning to circle around the same thought over and over. In fact, is that a fucking city, or a firefly? Is that a firefly on his map? Hinata isn’t sure if what’s on his map is a firefly or a city. That circular dot of yellow– is it a firefly, or is it a city?

“You don’t look well,” says a familiar voice. The dot of yellow buzzes and leaps into the air and onto Hinata’s nose. He swings back suddenly in an effort to swat it with both his arms. The momentum drives his chair backwards.

The quiet tavern folk don’t care to stop their chatter when Hinata crashes to the ground with a sound thud, and so the warlock is left to stare at the ceiling with unblinking eyes and his palms cupped around his nose as the minuscule sphere rises and floats away. Nanami’s concerned face hovers above him.

Ah, so it was a firefly.

Their next quest is for a blond wizard hailing from an important family. Hinata thinks he’s kind of an asshole, but Hinata also thinks that five thousand gold is maybe a sufficient price to get a job done for an asshole. He wants them to retrieve this artifact called the “Eye of Fate”, something that apparently reflects a person’s psyche and innermost desires. This is worrisome considering the Asshole Status of the person they’re retrieving it for, but according to the client, the Eye of Fate is trapped within the body of a topaz crystal gollum, a probably slightly more dickish creature to bestow such a relic upon.

Nanami helps pick him up off the ground, but he needs to take a handful of moments to gather his bearings.

“You need to take care of yourself. We won’t be able to get anything done if you neglect your health.”

Hinata thinks this is rich coming from Nanami, who never seems to sleep and yet spends half of the time she’s awake in a state of trance that’s impossible to break her out of. He means to tell her this, but instead the words that come out are “Lord Togami is an asshole.”

“He’s not easy to work with,” Nanami agrees.

“He’s a big fucking asshole.”

“Okay,” Nanami says patiently, sitting him down on the chair.

“I hate rich people who offer lots of money for ridiculous quests.”

“Mhm.”

“Nanami, there was a firefly on my map.”

“Yes,” she says. “Yes, there was.”

“It flew.”

“I think fireflies tend to do that.”

Hinata presses his face against the scratchy surface of the map. He traces a finger along the Mountain Range of the Dead, across the Red River, and straight through the continental tunnel into the cavernous entrance of the Cave of Wonders.

“Yeah,” Hinata mutters. “’S cause of their wings.”

“Sure is.” Nanami puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,”

“Yeah,” she says, and pets his hair gently. “Go to sleep.”

.

The journey is harsh, but not unbearable.

Through the rocky mountain range they pass, tearing down groups of chimaeras, hopping between camping sights near the valleys. Komaeda picks flowers by one of the crevices, and Hinata feels bad when they wither under his bare hands.

They stop just a clearing away from the bank of Red River for the night. The sun kisses the horizon and turns it a warm shade of purple that lulls Hinata to slumber.

He dreams.

.

Hinata’s by the Red River.

His pants are rolled up to his knees, and the sky above him is as dark as the waters he’s lowered his feet into.They lap at his skin, icy and unforgiving. He pushes closer to the river side, sinks his legs further in until his calves feel numb.

Below the surface of the water, something is stirring. Moving like a shadow through the already dark film that covers the waters, closer than he wants it to be.

A voice says, “Haven’t they told you that this river is red with the blood of the fallen?”

Hinata doesn’t respond. He watches the figure grow closer and closer, a monster baited to the surface. His legs form ripples in the water when he moves them to and fro. He watches the spray of droplets disrupt the dark surface, and tries to hum away the panic in his chest.

“…You’re not listening anymore.”

The darkness is coming. Hinata is not afraid. He’s not afraid. He’s not.

(He’s terrified. He can’t move anymore, can barely breathe. He is helpless in a way that makes him angry at himself, useless in a way that makes him regret its existence.)

“You’re going to have to. It’s irrational to think you can run away forever.” The voice is calm as it says this.

It is nowhere. It is everywhere. It’s the full moon that lights up the stars above his head, the ripples his legs have stopped making in the river, the all encompassing darkness that wants to eat him whole, devour him until nothing is left of his existence.

.

Hinata wakes up with a start. His hands aren’t quite steady. That is to say, he’s shaking bad.

Hinata steps outside for a moment. It’s dark out still, so he snaps his fingers and watches a small flame flicker to life in his lantern. Their tent’s still steady against the breezes coming from the north. (Nanami had done a good job hammering it in right, after all. She’s always been good with practical skills like these, even if her proficiency was healing). The leaves sway high above his head on their host of towering trees, though, and the wind’s whistle is unmistakable and sharp, cutting through the night.

Hinata shudders.The bite of the air is akin to the sting of frost at his knees in the dream.

A hand lands on his shoulder, and he nearly jumps a foot into the air.

“Hinata-kun?”

Oh. It’s Komaeda. Hinata tries to be subtle about the breath of relief that leaves him, but he’s sure he failed. Whatever. God, whatever.

Komaeda retracts his hand. “I’m sorry,” he says with the kind of sincerity only he seems to be capable of. “I called for you before, but you seemed preoccupied.”

“…Ah, yeah.” Hinata tries to go for a smile, but it slips off his face at astronomical velocity. He’s exhausted, tired in a way that makes his bones ache and his heart stutter at every step. “It’s just that…” For a few long moments, he contemplates his next words, painfully aware of the tentative silence between them. Komaeda doesn’t break it, and even though Hinata’s looking away, he can feel the weight of Komaeda’s gaze pressing into the back of his head, sharper than the wind that pierces through the thicket of trees surrounding their campgrounds.

Hinata says, “You’re a bard, right?” Of course Komaeda is, that’s out of the question. When Hinata whips around, he sees the look of tempered confusion Komaeda is giving him. His head is tipped sideways, and his gray eyes blink at Hinata questioningly.

“By the standard definition, I am,” Komaeda says. “Perhaps not entirely deserving of the title, but that is the most conventional term to reference what I do.”

“…Right,” Hinata says. He tries to swallow back the lump that forms in his throat, and finds he can’t do it, just as he can’t quite bring himself to dispel the anxiety eating away at the pit of his stomach. “Yeah, I know. You’re a good bard, Komaeda, we’ve had this talk.”

“And you’re changing the subject, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda responds quietly. He’s still looking at him with those intent eyes. Fuck. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Silence. And then a howl from the wind hollow and loud all at the same time.

“Have you heard of the Ender of The World?”

More silence. And then, a laugh.

“Kamukura Izuru… who hasn’t?”

“So he has a name?”

Komaeda sets his own lantern on the ground, then lowers himself and takes a cross-legged position. Hesitant, Hinata follows suit.

“You didn’t know? They named him after the original Wizard, the one whose discoveries helped incorporate the plane of magic with our own.”

“Ah,” Hinata says. His throat is dry. “I, uh, never looked into it too much. I tried to, well- avoid. That sort of stuff.”

“…I see,” Komaeda says, and there’s an obvious question in his tone. To his credit, he doesn’t ask it.

“Well, Kamukura Izuru… Well, to start, he’s beautiful. I saw him, once.”

Hinata’s heart stops. “You did?”

“I did,” Komaeda says, and smiles. There are no creases under his eyes this time, no softness to the edge of his mouth. Only a wide curve that increases Hinata’s unease. Komaeda’s eyes watch the purple flame in his lantern flicker and sway.

“When I was still travelling alone, I took shelter in a sea-side town. I was still young then, maybe in my mid teen years, and so I was still learning how to get around alone, and still learning how to cope with my abilities. Naturally, no one wanted someone whose magical energy was as unstable and harmful as mine.” Komaeda makes animated hand gestures as he speaks, his voice remaining light and unbothered.

“So I tried not to use any, even when it got cold and I needed a fire, even if I had to defend myself. As soon as they realised their flowers wither around me and the grass their cattle eat from is poisoned by my magic, they’d throw me out. I couldn’t afford to let that happen yet, not when I was in such desperate need of a sustainable place to stay.”

“Komaeda…” Hinata starts to say, a crease forming in his brow. But Komaeda just continues.

“This is why I ended up staying by the port, where there was less organic matter for me to visibly hurt. And then he was there, and the stories? They were true,” Komaeda says. “He was- ah, I’m afraid I’m not nearly eloquent enough, but he was something else. He didn’t hurt anyone then, didn’t turn any cities to dust or erase landscapes with the swipe of his hand, but his existence was like…” He holds up a hand over the lantern, and his eyes are wide enough to hold the entire sky within then. Komaeda clenches his fist over the lantern’s glow.

He whispers, “Like fire. It was burning with the demand to be attended to. It was like being charmed, but worse, but better. And where he floated, Hinata-kun? It was over the sea, which had begun to turn inky below him. It was like void. Like nothingness was just overcoming the blue, erasing it.” Komaeda’s still smiling. How is he still smiling?

Hinata tries to regulate his breathing, but he feels sick. His head spins with a thousand visions, of tarlike darkness invading crystal blue, of lonely teenagers by ports, of magical essences strong enough to burn themselves into the hearts of spectators.

Hinata’s voice sounds hoarse to his ears when he speaks. “…And? Was he- was he evil?”

Komaeda laughs again. “Evil… Well, I suppose it depends on the standards of one’s morality. I just think he was hideous.”

“Huh?! Didn’t you just say-”

“I meant what I said.” Komaeda says. “He was the wrongest thing in the world, in that moment. Something that wasn’t destined to be. He was beautiful, too, and it had made me feel something. Now, I can identify that feeling as what it is.”

“And what is it?”

Komaeda turns to look at him then, eyes wide still. He closes them for a moment, but the smile doesn’t fade. Komaeda says, “Disgust,” and Hinata feels like he’s been kicked in the ribs.

“Oh. Um, I suppose that makes se-”

“I think he was just empty. I don’t understand how someone can have such power over destiny and be such a shell.” His smile takes a dip, then twitches back into place. It looks wrong, not that it ever really looked right to begin with. It looks… sour.

“People will call Kamukura Izuru beautiful, or they will call him horrible,” Komaeda says. “I just think that he’s like me.”

“Like you?” Hinata’s heart is pounding.

“I don’t mean to sound egoistical,” Komaeda says quickly, holding his hands up, His smile returns to its default vacancy again, “Of course, I could never hope to be as powerful. But Izuru-san and I have something in common.”

There is quiet now, and even the well timed howling of the wind fails to shake Hinata out of his semi-trance state of contemplation. He recognises that Komaeda’s given him an opening to ask. The tension in his gut notwithstanding, he does.

“What is it, then?”

Komaeda hums. His gloved fingers close around the handle of the lantern and pull it up to his face. Illuminated so closely by the glow, Komaeda looks like a flame himself. It’s a haunting kind of beauty that Hinata can’t fully wrap his head around. (His heart aches). He blows his flame out, and just like that, the world grows dimmer. Komaeda stands up, and Hinata wants to reach out and grab at his sleeve, but he’s too tired, and Komaeda’s too swift, and it’s too cold out here, so cold and dark and god, Hinata’s so tired.

“Well, when I looked in his eyes, I could tell. I could tell that he had nowhere to go either.” Through the mist of darkness, Hinata can’t see his features, he can sense it when Komaeda’s gaze leaves him.

He whispers, “Good night, Hinata-kun.”

Then he returns to their tent, and Hinata’s left alone.

.

There is a flash of light.

Pillars of light come together to form a gollum, at least 12 feet tall, its arms made of diamond shards which reflect the yellow light pouring out of the empty holes in its head that make its sockets. The gollum is a beautiful, monstrous thing, its voice caught somewhere between roar and song. It’s a compound of light shards taking the form of rocky limbs and sharp shoulders. Like tears, the light that runs down its head burns into the cavern’s ground, acidic.

They get in order. Hinata raises his wand, and Nanami prepares her wooden staff. The amethysts that stick out of the ground by Komaeda’s feet begin to lose their vibrancy as he puts his flute to his lips.

Hinata casts.

Nanami points.

Komaeda plays.

And the gollum unclasps a dark mouth trapped between jaws of silvery-gold crystals, and showers their attacking silhouettes in stunning light.

.

I.

You are born.

You are a creature! And how alive you are, how real- your hands are small and pale, your hair back length and a light shade of a pretty colour. And you are not clothed, not yet, but you are so alive.

Besides you a person with shaking arms and a trembling form. They say, “O-oh, it worked, it worked,” and they sound like they’re going to cry.

You reach out to them, and you feel concerned.

.

Disorientation. Fear. Hinata’s head is spinning, and he can’t tell his head from his feet, not anymore. The world is nothing but a dull blur of colour, and all he hears is a the quiet hum of the gollum’s voice, a guttural, chilling sound.

And then the next flash of light comes.

.

II.

You are alone. Ash falls between the spaces of your fingers, the remnants of the home you once had. The sky cries for you, but you do not cry. You cannot cry anymore, not when you know they were right all along. Right to abandon you, right to throw a creature of destruction and havoc.

You are disgusted with yourself, with the pulse of energy that crackles like lightning beneath your skin.

Your hands dig into the ashes that were once meadows and gardens and homes, homes you grew up in, homes you weren’t hated for existing in.

You let out a scream that tears your throat in two, and you are heartbroken.

.

He can’t tell if he’s breathing.

He can’t tell if he’s seeing. He can only hear the roar approaching.

But he feels it, too, the third flash of light slamming into him.

.

III.

Magic is difficult.

Magic is unnatural- it’s strange, because for your family, it seems to come as easy as breathing. Generations of wizards have thrived from their line, after all, each with magical energy in the very air they breathe, clear in the way they carry themselves, evident in the gleam in their eyes.

Except for you, that is. You have grown up looking at your hands and hating them. You have grown up with the words of the divination mistress inscribed in your head from when you were but a youth, her raspy voice calm and factual as she tells your parents, This one’s a branch that’s been severed. He’s dry, he is.

And you are. You attempt to cast spells. Nothing happens. You try your hand at passive magic, tries to see if you can work out divination, or magical forgery, or bardic inspiration.

Nothing happens within. Your hands remain plain, pitiable things, empty of even the telltale scorch marks and scar of a beginner magician. There is disappointment in the looks they give you. There’s judgement. There’s torment in their stares, a searing fire that burns away at you in the expectations you know you’ll never be able to fulfill. A tiresome, constant hum of unease.

So plain.

What a shame, that one- think of the potential!

Maybe he’s just a late bloomer?

But you aren’t.

You press your palms to your face and try to feel for a hum of something more that isn’t there, was never there, will never be there.

Until one day, not many days from now, at the hands of a circle of wizards who promise your family prowess, progress, and most importantly magic- it is.

And you feel… nothing.

You don’t feel at all.

.

A flash of light.

.

I.

Your hair is trimmed to your shoulders. You are dressed in a cloak of silver with a green hood, given a staff crafted of rosewood and embroidered with your initials. You are given a name. You are given a purpose.

The person who made you is loving. They are kind. They don’t make you feel like the tool that you are, but you know, and you think it’s okay.

.

And another.

.

II.

You learn that the leaves of plants wither first when you play. And then gradually, so do the stems. The petals are last to go, turning a sorry shade of gray that disintegrates to ashen black the more you continue.

You feel sorry.

.

And yet another.

.

III.

There is more magic in the air than has even been. More horror in your heart than you ever thought possible. They are chanting incantations, murmuring things in languages you can’t recognise, humming in tones you don’t understand, and you are scared, but your want to stop disappointing overwhelms this fear. Your want to be something that surpasses ordinary, something that beats worthless.

So you stay still.

And you drift, further and further away, into a space where you can’t feel your heart and can’t contain your soul.

And for a while, you don’t return. Not really.

Another.

.

I.

You learn that you are a cleric. You learn that your name is Nanami Chiaki, and that you can wield light and speak seven languages and be very, very useful.

You find your place among an adventuring party, and you set off to do your job as a cleanser of despair.

.

When will it stop?

.

II.

You feel smaller than you should, a quiet mass of stark white hair and shaky hands that suck the life out of every unsuspecting thing. But you learn- you learn to sleep in the hollows of large trees.You learn to survive days without fire and food. You learn what you have to do to live, what you have to do to continue, but often you wonder if there’s a purpose at all.

And then you see Kamukura Izuru turn the ocean’s blue into void, and immediately realise what you have to do.

.

Hinata hears what sounds like a thump, but maybe it’s just the dull beat of his heart. Does he still have a heart?

.

III.

It is

So

Dark.

It is so dark , and so quiet, and you are not there, but you are, but the world isn’t, but you are, but you’re dead, but you’re not, but you’re in pain, but he’s not.

And he’s you.

Or you’re him.

Maybe you’re both and he’s neither. She finds you somewhere between existence and death, surrounded by the skeletal remains of the seven wizards that made you what you are.

She examines the circle of black glass and scorch marks that used to be their mountain, and the grin on her face can cut through the fabric of the universe and weave it into something new. She holds out her hand, and says, “Confused, aren’tcha? I think I have something that’ll work for you.”

And before you know it, the world is ending at your hands.

.

There is the sound of something falling multiple times all at once.

.

I.

You love them so much.

You love them so, so much. But you do not, because you weren’t made for this. You don’t know what love is.

Do you?

.

It’s getting closer.

.

II.

You are a being of misdeeds, a creature of filth and ugliness.You are a pawn in the hands of luck and a facilitator of fate. And it’s fine.

It’s fine. You don’t deserve to feel this companionship. You don’t deserve the moments when his eyes meet yours and you feel something akin to hope. It’s selfish. It’s foolish.

It’s fine.

(It’s not.)

.

They are footsteps, Hinata realises distantly at the back of his head, and they fall like hail.

.

III.

You wake up in another circle of black glass. Your head is full of memories that aren’t your own, your back breaking under the weight of sins you earnt. You hands are pale and unscarred and yours, yours, yours, but you don’t know what’s yours anymore, so you dig them into the hard ground until your nails chip and bleed and you’re screaming because the pain is the only thing that makes you feel real.

You don’t know how long you lay there, but when you come to, you can cast flame, you can create light.

And it takes you so, so long, to pick yourself up, to tear away your memories and the bards’ songs of Him, of You.

You are sick of your own existence, but most of all, you’re not sure when you’ll be him again. You’re not sure how long you have as you.

(You’re not sure when you started to think of this in terms of you and him.)

When you find yourself a party, you worry.

When you sleep at night, you worry.

When your companion’s piercing gray greens look at you and tell you, “Good night, Hinata-kun,” you worry.

What’s a sense of self for someone without one at all?

.

Crash!

Splinters of diamond scatter across the cave’s floor, yellow and white and shades of off-orange, shattered, sharp and everywhere.

Komaeda is panting by the now screaming, headless gollum, its guttural screeches now reduced to weak yelps that sound more like windchimes. The splinters that caught him in the face send blood streaking down it, and he’s breathing heavy.

In his right hand Komaeda holds Nanami’s abandoned spear of light, semi-tangible and fading in his grasp. Nanami rises to her feet besides Hinata, only a distance away. Cuts and scrapes line her arms and legs where the crystals caught her, but she is healing faster than any of them can process, and she points her staff at the gollum, lips drawn in a thin line.

When Hinata gets into position besides his companions, his heart thrums with something that’s maybe determination, and that’s definitely the desire to beat this fucking thing to the ground.

Their eyes meet. When Hinata catches Komaeda’s, Komaeda gives him a tired, bloodied smile which he tries to return.

They attack.

.

LEGEND.

There is a legend in the land about a sorcerer. Or at least that’s what they think he is. He’s certainly not human- it’s not clear if he’s much of anything the people of this world can recognize.

He’s like something out of a night terror, spectral and haunting, ethereally beautiful in ways that are hard to encapture. Bards fail to find music befitting of him, and the storytellers, their hands bleed of their efforts to weave tales and tapestries worthy enough. An artist’s maddening, he is, a being of darkness, or maybe light, or maybe divinity.

He razes lands in his wake.

It only takes a flick of his wrist for the grandeur of towering spires, raised peaks and settlements, so many settlements built with caring craftsmanship and loving ambition, to become ash.

There are no scorch marks to tell of despairing fires, no bloodstained marble and cobblestone to tell the tragedy of battles lost. Only the memory of what used to be and the dust that remains of its existence.

Some call him the Destructor. Some call him a God. Most merely call him The Ender of The World.

And he is as beautiful as he is terrifying, the story tellers swear. He doesn’t function on malice, they say. It’s impossible to tell what his motives really are, but he doesn’t thrive off of evil nor off of death. He does not need to thrive, really, not when his very existence is that of raw energy and power, not when he can make himself a living deity on command of his presence.

Others have different stories to tell of him, all with the staples; the beauty, the divinity, the grace. But they speak of different powers- armies of the dead animated for seemingly no reason. Stormy clouds of gray that encircle him, a crown of booming thunder and imminent destruction.

Eyes the colour of rubies, painfully empty despite the ocean’s worth of magical energy they surely have.

The World is ending.

And then it isn’t.

The cities of ash remain as they are, as do the hearts of endless storms continue to beat with the booms of thunder. Every tapestry and abandoned sheet of song remain, but the Ender of the World does not.

.

At the gollum’s husk, Hinata brings down a spectral axe he summons; once her spear of light is back in her hands, Nanami maneuvers close enough to leave a gaping gash of oozing yellow where its abdomen was; Komaeda’s flute plays notes that manifest into spectral hammers which descend upon it, blown after blow. The amethysts around them are now a darkened gray.

With each hit that lands, crystals shatter across the floor.

Soon, all that remains is a gradient of gold in pieces at their feet.

And their prize reward, the gollum’s heart: an ornate circle of the very same gold, its surface clear and reflective like a mirror. The Eye of Fate.

Komaeda collapses on his knees.

He’s making a noise that sounds like giggling, red faced and dizzy, and then he collapses to the side, spent. Hinata isn’t fast enough to catch him, but he tries anyway. Chest still heaving from the effort of battle, he takes the time to brush away the red that bleeds from the wound on Komaeda’s forehead. The amethysts are more like coal now, a tell-tale sign of the energy he’s expended.

Nanami kneels beside him, and she’s not out of breath at all. But she looks just as tired as he feels. All her wounds have closed up. Hinata almost finds it funny- he always thought the reason her wounds were so quick to heal was because she was an extraordinarily healer. While that was true, he now more or less knows that there’s more to it. And she… they both…

Well, they both know now, don’t they? But the panic hasn’t really settled in just yet.

“I’ll get him,” Nanami says, and she nods towards Komaeda. Already her hand is on his chest. “You have to go retrieve the mirror. Hinata-kun, you know what to do with it.”

Hinata nods. Rises to his feet.

He heads towards the Eye of Fate, back turned to Nanami. It feels smooth and light in his hands. The surface reflects his face, bloodied and plain, and it all feels deceptively simple.

Nanami says, “Hinata-kun? I know you’ll make the right decision. I know you’re a good person, and you can make your own path.”

He feels the smile in her voice as strongly as he feels the sting in his eyes.

“Right,” Hinata says softly, and examines the glassy surface.

He throws it to the ground experimentally. It lands quietly without a sound.

And then he crushes it under his fucking feet. Over and over until it breaks apart for good.

Nanami laughs softly from behind him.

Hinata says, “All right, then. Now that that’s over with, let’s go home.”

.

Home isn’t anywhere but the three of them.

The journey back isn’t as tiring as Hinata thought it would be, but it’s every bit as emotionally taxing. He wallows in his anxiety on their trip back, just as he wallows in his thoughts.

He and Nanami don’t speak of it.

And he understand that she needs time, and she understands that he needs courage, or perhaps strength of will. But she smiles at him like he means something still, like he’s more than lost identities and failure and magic that isn’t really his, and he’s grateful. He smiles at her too, a bit less patient, a bit more jaded, but he hopes it lets her know that she means something to him like he does to her.

And then there’s Komaeda.

They’re back at their camp grounds when he finally wakes. The sun’s beginning to rise above the horizon, painting its line a faint white and streaking the blank sky with shades of pale blue and orange.

Nanami’s gone to bring them firewood for later on since they’re all too tired for conjuration. Hinata’s fingers clench and unclench into a fist. He counts the fading stars that are eaten by the sunrise, and wonders if he can still see the faint outline of the moon provided he tries hard enough.

Komaeda sits opposite from him. Neither of them says a word.

The silence is quiet and tangible, and when Hinata looks at Komaeda, really looks at him, he pauses. Komaeda’s fully healed and unscarred but for a nick that the gash on his forehead left, and even that is hardly notable. His hair is even messier than usual, dirtied and gray with dust and dirt from their encounter. His pallor is still prominent, but thankfully, it doesn’t look like he’s about to fall seriously ill.

"Hey,” Hinata says.

Komaeda raises his head to look at him. He’s giving him that look again, a look of uncomfortable  intensity that Hinata feels in his bones.

Komaeda say, “Hinata-kun,” by way of greeting, and they fall quiet again.

Hinata looks at his thumbs.They’re shredded from the shrapnel of crystal, scarred in little crisscrosses.

He says to Komaeda, “Well. I mean, god. Let’s- let’s cut right to it. Talk to me.”

And so they start to, the rising sun a backdrop to their conversation.

“You know now,” Hinata says.

“I do.”

“You wanted to find me. Or him. Whatever.”

“I do.”

“You still do?”

He tips his head sideways, and light curls frame his curious expression. Very sincerely, he says, “I do.”

Hinata feels a tightness in his chest.

“You’re weird.”

“You’re a god.”

Hinata gives him an annoyed, incredulous look. Now he knows Komaeda’s messing with him.

He says, “You know I’m not,” and can’t help the edge in his voice.

“Of course I do,” Komaeda says, voice hushed in a way Hinata’s never heard it before. “I felt your thoughts, Hinata-kun. We both did.”

He knows this. And it’s frustrating, infuriating even, to have something like that taken away from you and broadcasted so intimately. Looking at the mess he made of his own fingers, Hinata wishes he hit harder, attacked harsher.

And then he looks at Komaeda, and oh. He sees it now, the tightness around his shoulders, the tension in his frame. The sharpness of his present smile, guarded and ingenuine.

He’s hurting, too.

And god, Hinata’s so selfish. This entire time, his own anxieties have been overwhelming him, and he wasn’t able to realise sooner that his companions have their own plates full to the brim.

Of course. Of course he’d hurt. He’s felt it vividly, Komaeda’s loneliness, his pain, just as he had Nanami’s doubt in her existence, just as tangibly as they felt his own aches.

Hinata reaches towards Komaeda, who tenses like he’s about to flinch away, but… doesn’t. He places a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

And Komaeda says, “I was wrong.”

“Wrong?”

His gaze bores into Hinata. “Wrong to call you beautiful and hideous.”

Hinata puts away his hand. He says, “Then what would you call me?” and feels bold for it. The way Komaeda says ‘you’ instead of 'Kamukura Izuru’ or 'The Ender of the World’ or some other superficial title makes him shiver.

“I would call you hopeful,”

“Uh, what?”

Komaeda puts a hand over his heart. And there it is again, that terrifying earnestness in his eyes.

“Hopeful. You’re not like me, Hinata-kun. Despite everything, you’re still here. You’re still doing good after what she made you do.”

What she made you do. The illusion of guilt, the vision of the perfect monster, it’s gone. It’s all gone.

Hinata is shaking just the slightest bit. His hands aren’t as steady as he thought they’d be in his lap. This is hard.

“But– so are you.”

“So am I what, Hinata-kun?”

“You’re here too, aren’t you?”

Komaeda falls silent.

Hinata can’t quite read his expression right, was never quite able to, but the stunned look of bewilderment that twists his features isn’t hard to note.  

“But I- that’s not… That isn’t how it works.” Komaeda argues, a confused frown twisting his mouth.

“Isn’t it?” Hinata is smiling, and as he does, he feels the tremors start to calm.

“It isn’t! Hinata-kun, if you’re as good at drawing conclusions as you are at playing instruments-”

“Stop trying to backhand compliment me, I probably can play if I really try.”

“Backhanded compliments? How rash of Hinata-kun to jump to such a conclusion, I was only trying to speak my mind.”

He flicks Komaeda’s forehead. Komaeda doesn’t make a move to flinch this time.

Hinata dares to push back the hair that falls in front of his eyes, heart beat mingling with the songbirds’ melody. He waits for Komaeda to stop him, but he does not. He rubs his thumb over the small scar on his forehead.

“…You were good out there with Nanami’s spear,” Hinata murmurs. “Maybe you should actually consider buying one.”

“Oh,” Komaeda breathes in response.

Sunlight makes him look even prettier.

It’s quiet here in these woods, and it’s not “home” forever. Nothing will be for a while. But the permanence of home and the worries of tomorrow mean nothing when Hinata sees that smile again. A smile soft around the edges that make his eyes crease, a smile that makes Hinata not want to let go.

“Is this okay?” Komaeda says, and his voice is quiet. His eyes begin to flutter. His gloved hands reach tentative towards the back of Hinata’s neck as he moves to lean into Hinata’s touch. Komaeda’s hands are light, their pressure barely there, like he’s afraid to hurt him.

Hinata says, “It’s okay.”

And when he kisses Komaeda, it feels like the relief of something long awaited. It feels like comfort. It feels like something right. Hinata’s hands reach to cup his face, and oh.

He kisses him again, and again, and again, and everytime Hinata pulls away, he sees that smile and just can’t stop.

They’re going to be okay.

[sentientpaperbag]

Do you like any other horror movie series or is it just Jason?

Oh yeah, horror is my fave genre of movie lol

The f13 movies are just my fave cuz of Jason and how over the top they are. Cuz they’re really fun.

But I also like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, the Puppet Master movies are really fun and I have a soft spot for them, I like the first two alien movies and the Predator movies although they’re technically sci-fi moreso than horror, some classic movies like Dracula and Frankenstein are fun, and the Wolfman is one of my all-time favorites. The Mummy, the original one with Boris Karloff, is pretty good. I enjoyed both the Japanese and American versions of The Grudge and The Ring (although the American sequels are laughably bad. I watched Rings in theaters and had to fight laughing the whole time, and I knew it was gonna be that awful lol)

I’m also a big fan of really over the top cheesy b-movie horror films, like The Mantis, holy shit that one’s funny, and this kinda obscure British horror movie called Island of Terror, my sides hurt from laughing the first time I watched it.

I also like the more psychological horror films too, like the original Psycho is still really interesting when you go into the movie through a psychological perspective.

Foreign horror is probably one of my favorite genres of horror though. American horror is usually crude and bloody, although I’ve noticed Italian horror is… like that but times 10 in the blood territory. Japanese horror movies are so vastly different from American horror.

Listen I could talk for hours about my love of the horror genre lmao

OH and how could I forget about horror musicals?! Little Shop of Horrors, Phantom of the Opera(i like the 2004 film despite its...many, many flaws), Rocky Horror Picture Show, the works! I love musicals as much as I love horror films lol.

Fun fact about me and Phantom of the Opera, it’s literally my favorite musical of all time, and I’ve been trying to collect every version of the movie to ever exist. I’ve got the original 1925 silent film, the 1962 film, an obscure version with Robert Englund of all people playing the Phantom that came out in 1989, I like that one a lot cuz it really plays up the horror movie tropes, the 25th anniversary DVD of the musical, and a DVD of the Australian production of Love Never Dies, PLUS the original 1986 album of the original musical cast of PotO and the first official soundtrack for LND. I also have the original novel and one of the oddly many unofficial sequels. Unfortunately it’s Phantom of Manhattan and I don’t like that one cuz it’s the one that got kind of adapted into Love Never Dies. Anyway, I’m still on the search for as many PotO movies as I can get! I also have a really cool snowglobe and I got to see the musical for the first time live back in January.

Sorry I went off on a tangent

Also I named my car Christine but that’s because of the Stephen King story lol

[offbeatmilod]

milo! What are some newbie theater fan must-sees? I never realized how much I loved stage until recently and I need to catch up!

Lovely! Welcome to the world of theatre!! :-)

This one’s a tough one to answer because it’s all up to taste! I’ll always recommend the classics, most of which you can find and watch in movie form or clips/full shows on Youtube if you’re curious.

Some great classic musicals for anyone just beginning, no particular order:

Phantom of the Opera (has a lovely movie, better on stage)

Sweeney Todd (lovely movie, better on stage)

Chicago (lovely movie, better on stage but a lot of people prefer the movie because of the style of stage performance it is)

Lion King (it’s really a surprise to see on stage and a good beginner! Much better than the movie…)

Company (great show, lovely songs, very moving)

Wicked (lovely on stage, breathtaking performance and much better than the book)

Les Miserables (sorry I haven’t seen the movie but I heard it’s good, on stage it’s amazing)

Evita (amazing and moving, you’ll recognize a few songs I’m sure and the movie is lovely with Madonna)

Cabaret (highly recommend, I should have put this one earlier - the movie is great too)

Avenue Q (really funny especially if you grew up with any puppet shows as a kid like Sesame Street, the songs are so catchy)

Something Rotten (less loved than I thought it’d be, but really a fun watch and very good music)

The Producers (really this is a must watch, really funny and two great movies too, better on stage)

West Side Story (I can’t praise it enough, really good, really fun and lovely and the movie is something great and classic)

Rent (also fantastic, I feel like everyone has seen the movie now, the music is great and has some of the best songs for karaoke, it’s really great on stage too)

Cats (you’ll definitely know at least one song from this classic, it was really amazing and most people don’t know that it was whimsically based on a book of silly poems about cats)

Into the Woods (a fun retelling of fairy tales, with really memorable songs, haven’t seen the movie but heard it was fine)

Little Shop of Horrors (really fun, good movie but the stage performance is much better!)

La Cage Aux Folles (really great, highly recommend this one lol you might recognize the movie adaptation with Robin Williams, Birdcage)

Fiddler on the Roof (classic, you’ll definitely recognize songs in it and most theatres nearby anyone will do this one fairly frequently)

The Rocky Horror Show (amazing movie, amazing on stage, and you’ll find it in nearby theatres fairly often as well)…

I should stop there lol I went on a tangent of musicals instead of just plays. There are sooo many great ones I haven’t named, those are just some really well known ones that are easy to get started on… :-)

My best recommendation: see what your local theatre is showing and try it out!!! Sometimes a show will really surprise you! :-) … and I should always promote local theatre, anyways!

(bonus since I went on a tangent of musicals, I’ll also recommend: The Importance of Being Ernest, An Ideal Husband, Lady Windermere’s Fan, Death of a Salesman, Waiting for Godot, Rosencrantz and Guilderstern Are Dead, A Streetcar Named Desire, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?… and literally anything Shakespeare is a classic, though I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea there are very many good modern plays to enjoy!)

Really though… check out your local theatre and see what strikes your fancy! :-)

[zippdementia]

Part 78 Alignment May Vary: Transition

This is the continuing saga of three (sometimes hapless) adventurers who are beginning to find out they are part of a greater story, one that began eons ago and one that will shape the destiny of the entire world of Toril. In today’s post, we begin to move towards the end of our current story arc and the beginning of the final chapter of our game. But we’ve still got some business to take care of first...

Last time, our players were left on the brink of entering Stardock, so named because it is literally built into an asteroid floating in space. Perfect for our setting! Now, here’s the thing... coming into Stardock, they are in a funny position. They’ve restored most of their hitpoints and Imoaza has her spell slots back. They have several health potions. But they are also missing a team member, Milosh, whose whereabouts are unknown after his capture by the Githyanki. And they have been warned that a mighty brood of Red Dragons patrols Stardock. Their chances of success in a fight are minimal.

So that leaves sneaking around. Imoaza still has a Githyanki soul trapped from the last battle and now she questions it, asking what the best route to the prisoners is (their intentions are to get them and get out... they don’t plan on dealing with Al’Chaia). The answer she gets is honest, but also a little uncertain. One way will take them through a rarely occupied part of Stardock but then into a training center. The other takes them through the usually occupied mess hall. Both choices may lead to sneaking or, failing that, a fight. Ultimately the heroes chose to go through the training center.

There’s some good moments on the way to the center. The ambiance gets set really well: they start on the edge of a dragon’s lair and can feel the heat emanating all around them. They are terrified that any moment they will come across the dragon! As they leave the dragon’s lair, things get cooler and darker and eventually they trade the tension of the heat for the mystery of cold, abandoned caverns. At one point, while wandering through a rocky cavern, a strange floating eye pops up out of nowhere, observes them for a moment, and then disappears as rapidly and mysteriously as it came. They have no idea what that means, but figure it can’t be good. At another point, there’s a moment of humor, when Carrick finds a secret door in the floor of a cavern and tries to lift it... forgetting he’s standing on it (the result of a critical failure in the strength roll).

But eventually they come to the training center, find it VERY occupied (7 or 8 Gith warriors are here, training), and have to decide what to do. They end up coming up with a plan to use a mixture of the Mindflayer’s mind blast skill and Imoaza’s summoned Cthulian darkness to blind and entrap as many of the combatants as possible, then hopefully take down the stragglers and get through the room. It’s not a bad plan, but it doesn’t go off well, thanks to some poor rolling on their part and some great rolling on my part.

This leads to a mighty mess of a confrontation that takes up most of the session. Githyanki are leaping out of Hadar’s darkness while tentacles reach for them and try to pull them back in. They use jump to latch onto handholds on the walls and ceilings and from there leap to attack the players. Imoaza is using her eldritch blasts to knock them back into the pool of darkness, where they are pulled, screaming, to their deaths. The Mind Flayer levitates around the room, trying to eat brains and blast minds, but ends up rolling so poorly he is pretty much just an extra target for the Githyanki to focus on instead of the players. Carrick wades into battle and takes down two of the Githyanki before being surrounded and struck down himself. Imoaza can’t seem to summon Drosselgreymer: every time she tries, the Rod of Storms leaps into her hands instead and eventually, frustrated, she unleashes its potential, blasting the arena with lightning and thunder. There is a great moment when two more combatants enter the fray, powerful Gith magic users, but the door they enter through leads directly into Hadar’s Darkness and they spend a couple rounds getting slammed around in there before they break free.

Ultimately, the situation doesn’t look good: Carrick is stable, but unconscious. Marky the Mind Flayer is set upon by an injured Githyanki knight, who finally chops his head off. Imoaza is pinned to a wall by the telekinesis of the Gith magic users (one of whom is invisible) and two Gith are descending on her with the intent to knock her unconscious and take her prisoner. The players are badly outnumbered despite their good plan!

The way this fight progresses is part of D&D’s unpredictability and that’s not bad, but there are a few things I have taken from the combat to improve in the future. Let me cover those before I get to the conclusion of the fight.

Improving Combat

The combat we have this session is epic and less one sided than the players think... but the perception that it is one sided is a problem, and when this happens in a game it almost always comes from miscommunications between the players and the GM. In this case, there are several things that don’t get communicated well:

This room has many straw dummies in it, spread around and big enough they could potentially be used for cover or lit on fire for a distraction. I only mention the straw stuffing once, and so the players don’t connect the description of this to a potential tactic. I’m also not clear about where they stand around the room.

The Gith are training in full armor and weapons. The players don’t realize this and when I mention the straw dummies wield wooden staffs (another hint that fire could be good here), they think I’m talking about the Gith. So they aren’t that afraid of darting into the middle of them!

The Githyanki are totally surprised by the players, and while they react quickly due to their training and battle expertise, they are afraid for most of the combat.

The ultimate lesson is to be clear, to be OVERLY clear. Players won’t always ask questions, even if you encourage them to (as I usually do) because they may not have any questions, but that doesn’t mean the picture in their head matches yours. Describe everything TWICE, lay out potential plans to illustrate the scenario (but don’t spoon feed the players ideas of what you want them to do), and make sure the players know their options. I talked about this a bit on a recent episode of Adventurous Appetizers, that knowing their options is what keeps players from feeling frustrated at the outcome of a fight. In this case, they felt a little frustrated because they didn’t fully understand the scenario and so, even though their plan was a good (if poorly rolled) one, they felt a little cheated out of the opportunity to enact other plans which maybe they would have used instead if they better understood the situation.

Similarly, throughout the combat, I could have made things seem more frenzied for the opponents: if they had been screaming in fear and confusion or crying out that this might be the first wave of a larger attack (as they probably feared it was), it would have highlighted how well the players did against the odds and even given them a chance to roleplay during combat, maybe using intimidation to increase the enemy’s fear and halt their good tactics. I hate missing roleplaying opportunities but combat is an easy place to do so what with everything else going on and you having to use the other side of your brain to do all the logistics. I’m always trying to remind myself to roleplay during battle. Easier with 20/20 hindsight having had a few weeks to think over the combat though.

The other thing I could have changed is lowered the difficulty of the room on the fly by giving the Gith the wooden staves the players thought they had, but I didn’t realize this was what the players thought until combat was over and they asked about it. This one is their fault, though, as I said a number of times during the fight that the Githyanki had blades and if the players had mentioned it early in the combat, I probably would have changed that, or at least given them a chance to use an inspiration point to put that into effect (tangent: I’m allowing inspiration points now to change the story slightly for things that have no rules, like knocking Githyanki off perches and into the tentacles of Hadar). 

I wanted to post these notes because these are all helpful hints for DMs and good notes for me for next time! Still, at the moment, we have a TPK on our hands and we need to give the players a way out of it.

Ah! New Information!

At the beginning of this session, I took Milosh aside and we went back in time before the short rest to roleplay a little interrogation scene between him and Al’Chaia, whom he is brought before as a prisoner. Milosh ends up being a pretty hilarious prisoner. He takes things so literally and has so little ability to deceive or lie that Al’Chaia quickly dismisses him as a threat and instead tries to entice him to work with her. She wants him to free the prisoner, Ezria, and "escape” with him, at least to the point where he opens a portal to the Githzerai homeworld, at which point she intends to step in, kill or recapture Ezria, and secure the portal for her own uses. In return, she offers to take him to the homeworld of the Gith, where he can speak to their queen, peruse their libraries, and learn more about the Surveyors who built him.

Milosh agrees, but just to be sure he stays honest, Al’Chaia gives him a scrying crystal, allowing her to know where he is at all times. She doesn’t tell him what it does, but she warns him not to discard it. Milosh suspects its true purpose, and agrees to carry it. Then, Al’Chaia sends him to the jail cells, where he awaits Ezria, who is currently being mentally tortured in a vain attempt to get information out of him.

What Al’Chaia doesn’t tell Milosh is that she is using the time that Ezria is being tortured to set a trap: she summons the Great Mother Dragon of her brood (insert unpronounceable dragon name) and connects the crystal to her, with instructions to hover outside the asteroid wherever the crystal is and be prepared to use her spell of passwall to enter and attack if the crystal is discarded or the portal is opened. She also knows that the portal can only be opened in “weaker” space, a place where the fabric of time and space is weak enough to pierce and travel through. The one place this is is at the entrance to Stardock. So she goes there to wait, with two young red dragons and a platoon of Githyanki. She tells the other Githyanki not to fight the robotic Milosh and Ezria, but she doesn’t give them the same instructions about any other intruders. These she says “kill on sight.” She knows those intruders are there, but she figures the less companions Milosh has, the more likely he is to adhere to the plan.

Side note: in retrospect it would have been fun if there was a secondary place that the players discover on Stardock where the veil is weak and could be pierced, but I think it would have disrupted the pace we set for the mission. But a good thought for a future playthrough of Stardock.

All of this culminates in Milosh using a key Al’Chaia gave him to free Ezria and join the fight just as things look hopeless. Milosh darts into the training room and begins firing his mega-buster gunarm at the Gith wizards while Ezria unleashes the fury of a Githzerai monk against his enemies.

Then things get complicated. Milosh also freed two Mindflayers as he sped out of the prisons. This infuriates Ezria, but Milos h manages to convince him to stick to the mission and think of them as tools to use against his enemies. This goes against everything Ezria believes, but the Githzerai is wounded, exhausted from multiple psychic tortures, and terrified of the Githyanki gaining access to his homeworld. So he tentatively agrees.

This alliance is tested further still when the Mindflayers burst in upon the room and immediately set upon one of the injured Gith wizards, pulling her down and cracking open her skull to feast on her brains. Ezria’s most inner instincts tell him to fight now, to turn on the Mindflayers, and in a blind rage he nearly does so, with Milosh desperately begging him not to give in to his rage but to let the other Gith kill these Mindflayers, or come back later with an army of Githzerai. Only one set of words finally gets through to Ezria: “It is not the warrior’s way to lose the war just to win one battle.” With this, Ezria finally tears himself from the horendous death of his distant kin and joins Milosh in fleeing through the trapdoor, Imoaza and Carrick close behind (Imoaza killed the Githyanki knight who was dragging Carrick’s body away and revived him during the action with the Mindflayers).

As they come up through the trapdoor, they halt for a moment to heal each other and cast haste spells to let them speed through the dungeon. Then Milosh makes a mistake: he throws away Al’Chaia’s crystal.

Immediately there is a roar and the mother dragon appears in the room with them, blocking the exit. But the three race away, using haste to bypass her and tear down the final hallway to their exit. The mother dragon sends a blast of fire after them, a blast that severely wounds Ezria, nearly killing him, barely catches Carrick, and...

... kills Imoaza, who fails her dodge rolls.

Only, Milosh’s player asks if he can spend an inspiration point and change the story, intentionally failing his roll and throwing himself in the way of the blast. This sounds super appropriate to the story and they have one last inspiration so we allow it and Milosh takes incredible damage, his armor and outer layer melting, giving him a permanent -2 to Charisma, and leaving him looking like something out of Terminator. But he survives and Imoaza survives and the three race on!

But then they come to the Stardock portal and find Al’Chaia and her forces waiting for her. She opens her mouth to speak and Milosh launches a volley of arrows at her and her crew. Taking advantage of the distraction, Ezria opens the portal underneath the party. He turns to join them and gasps as a knife hits him in the back: a poisoned blade thrown by Al’Chaia with perfect precision. His life force fading, he knows that he still needs to protect the portal from being kept open by Al’Chaia and her Gith. So he leaps in and makes the ultimate sacrifice: he spends his life force to close the portal behind him. And because he gave his whole soul to do this last dead, he arrives back in his homeworld dead, unable to be raised by the powers of the Gith.

A Short Rest

The players get a long rest, courtesy of the Githzerai, who are grateful for their heroic actions in returning to them one of their one. The players sleep in the strange Githzerai world set in the Limbo in between space and time. They recover and they dream.

In fact, they dream the same dream, all three of them, of a statue of a woman, set in a garden surrounded by people making love. The love making turns violent and the people begin tearing at each other’s flesh, though still crying out in ecstasy, while the statue of the woman slowly changes its expression into a smile.

Only Imoaza, schooled as she is in dark magic, recognizes the dream as more than just a fancy or an effect of being in the strange environment of Limbo. There is a lingering of magic, almost like a suntan or a burn, left on her aura which tells her that she inadvertently touched powerful magic in her dream last night. This means something has contacted them, or brushed up against their sleeping minds. The thought perturbs her, but she keeps it to herself, not accustomed to having companions to help her think through her problems.

The three are taken back to their ship by the Githzerai and deposited on the bridge, while the Gith go to the reactor core to power up their crystal and send them, finally, home to Toril. How long has it been? In player time, seven months since they fought the Mind Flayer space marine that launched them into space. In game time... well, that is less certain. Knick Knack and Immerstal have given them impression that hundreds of years may have gone by on Toril in their absence. Only Milosh is not disturbed by the thought: “Ah! I have been asleep for hundreds of years already. A few hundred more will not hurt as long as the prophecy is still unfulfilled.”

But they have little time to contemplate or celebrate. As Krisp congratulates them on a job well done, Carrick notices something bareling towards the bridge from between asteroids. It looks like...

“It’s a ship!” he cries out, moments before it slams into the bridge and everything goes crazy.

Family Matters

Crashing through the bridge is a familiar gunship: it belongs to Hecate, Imoaza wayward daughter who has hunted her since Imoaza joined the party. Unsuccessfully hunted, I should add. Hecate has been a difficult encounter to design. As a boss encounter, she has had to walk a fine line between being not strong enough to TPK a party while being strong enough to withstand their brutal attacks. You would think that the answer here would be high HP and AC with maybe a low but consistent damage output, or having her use special abilities to target group weaknesses.

And yeah, you wouldn’t be wrong. That’s pretty much the basis for any Hecate fight. The funny thing is how inconsistent it is in practice, but then that’s pretty much been the take away of this entire post. D&D is unpredictable, unstable. It is not linear story telling: it is improv theater.

For a brief recap, here are all the various scenarios the party has encountered Hecate in and a basic rundown of how they were designed and how they went:

Encounter 1: Mountainside This encounter took place on the mountain path on the way to the Fane of Tiamet right after the Red Hand campaign. Here, I used Maralith statistics for Hecate, with the snake body option, and gave her a special sword that could cut through space, allowing her to basically dimension door/misty step in and out of combat. She was accompanied by a group of Yuan Ti and their Broodguards. The thought was that the multitude of enemies would make the combat harder. It didn’t. Imoaza and Aldric decimated the group enemies, while Carrick provided a nice unhittable target for them with his high AC. It was pretty much a disaster for Hecate, but gave me ideas of how to run future fights. Basically, everything needed an upgrade.

Encounter 2: Hell’s Tavern This encounter took place in the City of Ghosts, with a new and improved bounty hunter verison of Hecate. She had lost her blade, but she had gained a gun arm. I basically upgraded her to a mix of Orthon stats (Mordenkainen’s Tome) and the Marilith States, with some multi-attack thrown in to allow her to be competitive in the action economy. She also fought alongside an acidic troll. This was probably the most balanced fight the players had against Hecate and it took them using all sorts of tricks to beat her, leading to a tense and prolonged encounter which almost killed the party.

Encounter 3: Gunship This was the most interesting fight, as Hecate fought the players from her gunship while they controlled the demon train. I don’t know how balanced the fight was because it didn’t really use in book statistics but was more fluid with some of the moves and attacks being designed on the fly to fit the situation, but it didn’t really matter because it was heavy on spectacle, with the emphasis being on all the cool shit both sides could do to each other and how epic the whole thing felt. When Hecate’s ship went down in the desert, that didn’t feel surprising, but it didn’t feel unsatisfying, either.

This new fight with Hecate is supposed to focus on a few new things: one, she has Blackrazor at full power. Two, she has legendary actions. Three, she still has access to her gunship’s weapons (limited). And four, there is an environmental challenge based on the bridge depressurizing and also something... else. These black portals keep appearing in the bridge during the fight, sucking everything they touch into nothingness.

The fight ends up not going the way I expected. I expected it to be a challenge, maybe too much of a challenge I was afraid. Hecate is most interested in fighting Imoaza alone but of course Imoaza doesn’t go for that (much to the rage of Hecate) and the team takes her on as one. Even this was a little unexpected, as I thought some of the group would be held back by obstacles.

See, first thing that happens is Tinia and other magic users rush forward to secure the bridge from the pull of outer space, using their magics to erect a force field between the bridge and the vast expanse caused by the crash of the gunship. When they do, a number of heavy objects that were being pulled towards the void drop suddenly. One, a Fiona droid, slams into Carrick, knocking him down. A heavy computer bank crushes Milosh (he rolls a critical fail), trapping him underneath. Only Imoaza escapes the carnage, rolling exceptionally well and leaping across various objects to land in front of the gunship and taunt her daughter to come down and fight.

So for a moment, I think this is going to be a one on one fight, which I hadn’t anticipated but awesome! So Hecate uses her gunship to lay down suppressing fire in a line of plasma blasts behind Imoaza, turning this into an arena. But no: I forget how many movement options higher level characters have. Carrick misty steps away from an encroaching black portal and right past the plasma and Milosh misty steps out from under the heavy computer banks and rushes through the plasma, taking damage, but emerging with enough health to feel comfortable closing with Hecate. Within a round, Hecate takes something like a hundred points of damage from their combined onslaught. She uses some of her legendary actions to try and fight back, but bad rolls screw her over. The one thing she gets off is she uses a charm attack on Milosh and she convinces him to target Carrick, whom she says murdered the real surveyor. Milosh turns to attack Carrick. Meanwhile a black portal opens up underneath Imoaza and it looks like this fight is going to end up between Hecate, Carrick, and a charmed Milosh. But then Imoaza uses the group’s last inspiration to try and change the story. She tells me what she wants to do, and I declare a strength contest: not Imoaza’s strong suit, and something Hecate’s pretty good at.

And Hecate rolls a 3. Hah!

Imoaza leapt over a swing from Blackrazor. “You let Aldric die!” the sword screamed. “I was supposed to kill him!” Imoaza would have landed back on the floor of the bridge, but it was suddenly gone, sucked away into a black portal that yawned underneath her. So instead she landed on Hecate, gripping her daughter’s shoulders, their faces mere inches from each other. Hecate hissed. “You were never one of us,” she said. “You stole our weapon so that you could play pretend.”

“No,” Imoaza answered. “I stole the weapon because you weren’t worthy of it.”

Then she swung around to Hecate’s back and pushed off, leaping backwards and sending her daughter screaming into the pit.

And with that, the fight is over. That’s actually suitably awesome, and I love the way the fight ends before it really begins. Still, seeing how badly the fight went for Hecate even before this move, there are a few things I would do differently here in retrospect to make the fight better:

Give Hecate some better armor. I needed to bump her AC up a bit to make her harder to hit, something she totally would have thought to do after her last fight with the players. Oops.

Bring along some minions! Why oh why didn’t I have the ship launch little mechs into the arena or have Hecate hack some of the Fiona units? I can’t believe I missed a chance to have androids fight!

Have Hecate hang back. Yeah, I know Blackrazor is a close range weapon, but she should have known to fight this smarter. Hang back, keep range, use her gun arm to disable opponents and her charm to take over Milosh, then move in for the kill.

Overall, I think this would have made for a far more tactically interesting fight, with Milosh charmed and fighting Carrick and a couple of androids distracting Imoaza while Hecate moved around using range and occasionally closing in for a strong attack. With the players having had a long rest, I think they could have handled this and it would have been a more tense and memorable fight (maybe even with the same ending, which would have been even more impactful, if it interrupted Hecate in the middle of kicking butt). Sorry, players. But hey, maybe you’ll get a chance for a better one in the future.

In any case, the fight ends but the players still have dangers to face. Portals are opening up all over the bridge! Carrick is sucked into one, and Milosh dives in after him, using his grappling hook arm to attach to Hecate’s gunship. When he doesn’t emerge, Imoaza sighs and slides down the grappling steel wire after him.

Home...?

Darkness, and sound. Wind whistling might be how some would describe it, but it would be a kindness the wind didn’t deserve. This wind was howling, howling madly like a tortured thing. Milosh activates his eyes to see that he is in a hut of stone with a single heavy blanket forming a door that is flapping in the raging wind. His grappling hook has retracted, though he doesn’t know when that happened. In fact, he doesn’t know the when of anything. How long has he been... asleep? Is that the right word?

When Milosh eventually pushes past the blanket, he finds himself in another world. A world of grey and white, surrounded by shadows. Snow and sleet rains down upon them, picked up and spun into a flurry by the howling wind. Others are here, too, humanoids that seem to be preparing to leave on a journey. Wagons are being packed and hitched to mules. Provisions are being packed. There is a mighty fire that people huddle around, though others are preparing to dump buckets of snow and ice to put out the flames. Among the people huddled for warmth Milosh spots Imoaza and Carrick.

Their experience is the same as his: they remember entering the portal but nothing since. They do not know where they are, so Milosh grabs a passing man, a man with a weatherworn face and a thick beard with grey at its edges, and asks him where they are.

“Torill,” he barks. “Along the sword coast, on the pilgrimage.”

This has the players reeling. The Sword Coast in the Forgotten Realms?! The world they’ll been trying to return to for... well... for a long time.

“Pilgrimage to what?” Milosh asks. 

At this the man scowls.

“You’ve forgotten our lady?!”

“We’ve forgotten many things,” Imoaza says quickly and the man softens.

“I shouldn’t have judged, I’m sorry. The affliction takes us all in different ways but, ah gods, to have forgotten her ladyship you must truly be miserable. Here, you are on your way with the rest of us pilgrims to see the goddess Eshebala, so that she may claim our spirits and usher us into her bright kingdom away from all this suffering.”

Eshebala... Milosh searches his databanks and realizes he does know the lady Eshebala. In his time (which admittedly was centuries ago) she was already an old goddess, worshipped by lovers and would-be lovers for her power to recognize and bring true lovers together, and as a fertility goddess. But Imoaza also knows Eshebala, only she knows her as a Goddess of horror and despair, a dark name shunned even by the hardiest warlocks, for she is known as a being incapable of granting any power excepting that of wild uncontrollable chaos, whose own followers she has forsaken and to whom she grants no gifts or insight, except the gift and insight of madness.

Still, with nowhere else to go, the players join the procession, learning that the pilgrimage ends in Baldur’s Gate and that they are as of yet eleven days away from their destination. And that’s where we shall leave them for now.

[lovelylunarwriting]

Forgetful

This is for you, not so anonymous anon.

Pairing: MoonBin x Reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

“And then I guessed on about half the problems but I still managed to get a B!”, you shouted excitedly to your friend.

It was the last day of the school year, and one of those awkward days where technically everyone is done testing, but all students are still required to attend school for a few days after exams are over to meet the school district’s quota of school days, and for the poor souls who have to take a make-up exam. There was nothing new to learn, nor were any students actually willing to learn at this point, yourself included. These hand full of days were spent chatting, playing board games, and playing silent ball (ridiculously competitively, as most schools do. Second only to review jeopardy).

“Oh my goodness (Y/N) I don’t know how you managed to pull that off!”, (Y/F/N) shouted back to you.

The teacher may have seated you two on opposite sides of the classroom (for a very good reason), but was this going to stop you from talking to each other? Absolutely not. Did you see this as somewhat of a challenge? Most definitely. This wasn’t a terribly uncommon practice though, there is also a kid named MJ in your class who makes a daily occurrence of this. He yells across the classroom to his friend Jinjin, who never verbally responds, he just sends MJ a sarcastic glare until he can’t keep a straight face anymore and bursts out laughing, with MJ laughing back. To the rest of your class they probably seemed like weird kids but you thought their friendly antics were funny.

With the exception of your best friend, and those two boys, because their boisterousness was difficult to ignore, you didn’t really pay much attention to the rest of your class. Your goal was to do well and pass the class, and so you mainly focused on that. But even that proved difficult, with your forgetful tendencies and intense procrastination, but you battled them as best you could, writing down assignments in a planner and setting reminders on your phone for when there was an upcoming quiz or test.

Today being the last day of school though, you weren’t particularly keen on not being forgetful, you just wanted to enjoy the last day in school *cough cough hELL* until summer break. So you allowed yourself the freedom of spacing out and not heavily concentrating on anything in particular. Today was a day to just go with the flow.

As you were hardcore spacing out at the board, that glorious final bell of the day rang proud, causing the student in your class to rush quickly and pour out the door. You, however, hadn’t been paying attention to the time and didn’t anticipate when the bell would ring. You hadn’t packed up your things yet. Abruptly standing up, you packed away your materials and bolted out the door after your peers, eager to be anywhere but this god forsaken school building that seemed to have devoured your soul the last one hundred and eighty school days. But today was lucky day one hundred and eighty and you were free! (Until next year but you didn’t want to think about that).

You walked to the front doors, about to leave the building, until an ominous sound behind you dragged your mind away from your thoughts of freedom and back into reality. Hearing heavy footsteps, you turned around to see a tall, brunette boy with glasses, full on sprinting directly towards you.

Without even thinking, your instincts took over and you bolted out the front doors and around the corner, hoping he wouldn’t have seen where you went. The school building was practically empty due to all the other students having fled as soon as the bell rang, so who was this guy and where did he get off running full force right at you? It seemed like the kind of thing a creepy pervert would do so you freaking ran away.

Your luck was not high today, because as you were directing these suspicious thoughts at the guy, he popped his head around the corner, obviously looking for you. He was successful. You didn’t think far ahead enough to hide somewhere once you got around the corner, you were just kind of standing right in the middle of the sidewalk. You also really didn’t know what to say so you kind of just stared back at him. But wow that was a stupid decision because you then realized how gorgeous he is, with deep brown eyes and a sharp, cheshire cat-esque smile, causing his already beautiful eyes to squint together, forming two very cute crescent moon shapes. Suddenly, you had to know who he was. But there was also the question of why he was chasing you? Which kind of took precedence in this situation, much to your dismay.

“Why were you so dead set on hunting me down?”, you flat out asked, not really sure how else to phrase that.

“Your textbook”, he flatly stated, his voice like silk, and honestly just down right distracting.

“Why would you need a textbook, it’s the last day off school!”, you lectured halfheartedly, actually laughing a little bit. Normally you’d get annoyed by such a weird person but his presence seemed natural and appealing to you, so you weren’t terribly bothered.

“No I don’t need a textbook, I never used one anyway. You forgot your textbook” he explained, presenting you with your textbook with both of his long arms stretching out in front of him.

There was an awkward pause, then you spoke up.

“…you said you never used the textbook so I’m not surprised that you don’t know, but the way we return them at the end of the year is by leaving them on the desk of our assigned seats” you said slowly, trying not to smile or laugh at how adorable he was. His head progressively tilted more to the side as you explained, him getting more and more confused and embarrassed.

“Oh but you usually forget at least one thing behind…. I just thought that you- I’m sorry I just-” he rambled on, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

“It’s fine”, you said, smiling through a sigh and taking the textbook from him, tucking it under your arm. “Let’s go see if the school is unlocked so I can put it back”.

You two chit-chatted as you walked back to the entrance of the school. Turns out his name is MoonBin, and he was in your class, but you never interacted with him before because he only ever talked to his two best friends, the pretty student council president, Eunwoo, and his childhood best friend Rocky.

Eventually you got to the metallic double doors and gave each handle a strong tug, but no avail, they were already locked.

“What do we do now?”, MoonBin pondered to himself, looking down at his shuffling feet.

“Well, they’re definitely going to charge me for the textbook”, you responded, thinking about what options you had, and realizing there were none.

“How much will they charge you?”, he asked you, suddenly perking up. If this were a cartoon you’d swear there’d be a lightbulb above his head.

“Well I bought it for like sixty dollars so probably about that much, if not a little more. Why?”, you answered, wondering what he was getting at.

“It would have to be more than one, then, probably about three…”, he continued, not clarifying whatever tangent he was rambling about.

“More than one what?”, you asked, curiosity getting the best of you.

“Dates. I’ll have to take you on more than one date to make up the cost”, he announced, causing your jaw to drop to the floor. It’s not like you’d ever refuse, because he’s considerate and gorgeous, you just didn’t expect him to be so forward.

“If that’s alright with you?”, he continued, snapping you out of your shocked trance.

“Oh! Of course, I’d love to”, you finally replied, resulting in him smiling big with a heart breaking grin.

“And maybe if you decide you like me enough by the end of the third date, we’ll stop counting dates and just start dating?”, he proposed, raising one eyebrow and smirking at you. “Sound like a deal?”

“Sounds like a pretty good deal to me”, you said, hugging your textbook to your chest, think that for once you were thankful for your forgetful tendencies, because they brought you the good luck of someone special.