#sidebar but reviewing comics used to be my job

[bitchyblkqueer]

flash 2023 issue 5 thoughts

i like it. there's so much happening plot wise there should really be an action comics but for the flash family. but dc hates us and they hate good ideas.

jai is such an underdeveloped character and it was nice having a whole issue through his POV. i relate to the whole moody preteen no one likes me thing. being 13 SUCKS!! and the moment where he asked grodd what his problem was instead of fighting him was Excellent.

by now it's pretty clear that linda has postpartum :(. i feel so bad for her but it makes me wonder where her support system is.

in my experience (black american) it's not uncommon for relatives move in after the mom gives birth (usually a grandmother) or at the very least their friends are stopping by to cook or clean or something.

last time I checked linda was on good terms with her family. and it would make sense for her to have friends outside of the flashes. so where are these people?? this is the shit I think about. where are the women??

every time iris and barry pop up i get so excited lmfao. i hope wally didn't just scramble barry's brains since he destroyed the thing that was floating above his statue 😭 and how will that affect them finding max?? maybe jai will timewarp to him

this issue is so funny. i love all the scientists living together and sleeping together?? perhaps?

i hate the fact that the dc universe is also having a book banning problem but I digress

wally had a well deserved meltdown love that for him. it was nice to see the mask fall. i hope it stays down. and i love those weird time gods. 5 stars xoxo

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Annabelle Comes Home

I’ve never actually taken notes during a scary movie. Oh sure, I see a lot of horror movies. But not many scary movies, and I’m gonna be real with you, pretty much anything in the Conjuring universe scares the hell out of me. All of those movies are literally the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had in theaters (except for The Nun, although the figure of the Nun herself.....yeah, that’s a HARD NO from me). I was unsure if I would be able to sustain the tension and atmosphere of a truly scary movie while trying to write in my little whale-printed spiral notebook in the dark, just praying that characters turn on a goddamn flashlight or something so there’d be enough light for me to write things like “this dumb asshole” or “trust no bitch.” So was the vibe totally ruined, or was I able to maintain maximum spookiness? Well...

I’m pleased to report the spookiness factor stayed at a solid 7.5 to 8 throughout in spite of my note-taking. There’s not a TON in here that we haven’t seen in other entries of the Conjuring-verse, but with likable characters and a strong “the walls are closing in” vibe, you could do far worse this Halloween season. The basic story is that Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) have taken custody of Head Bitch in Charge, Annabelle the murderous demon doll, to place her in their room of cursed, haunted, and otherwise don’t-fuck-with-us objects. When they have to leave for the weekend, their daughter Judy (McKenna Grace) is left with her babysitter Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman) and Mary Ellen’s friend, Daniela (Katie Sarife). Daniela is SUPER into the occult stuff that the Warrens have spent their careers dealing with and breaks into their don’t-fuck-with-us room, and you know what she does? She fucks with everything AND she lets Annabelle out of her case to party. And party she does, by inviting all her spirit and demon friends to come out to play and turn the Warrens’ house into a death trap. 

Some thoughts:

I love how much Ed and Lorraine love each other. They’re so normal and happy and ground everything in their real affection for each other, and with every movie, Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson sell that connection more and more. 

That low level sound when Annabelle is outside of the glass makes me want to weep and then die. That’s some fucking excellent sound design there, and it is effective.

Here’s my question - if this visiting friend is clearly kind of the worst and also SUPER OBVIOUS about wanting to snoop around, whose fault is it really if you leave her alone in the house? I don’t care if she promised to stay in the kitchen, TRUST NO BITCH.

Question: how did Ed and/or Lorraine construct that entire glass shelf so quickly? What was the turnaround here, like a day? It seems like Ed is a pretty handy fellow, but I would think that if I were attempting to contain a source of pure unadulterated evil, I would want to really do a thorough measure-twice-cut-once kinda job.

It’s so easy to become furious at Daniela (Katie Sarife) because she is being the dumbest asshole and touching ALL OF THE CURSED THINGS - which, sidebar, if she believed in this shit enough to try to reach out to the spirit of her dad, why does she not believe in it enough to think that everything in the cursed room is y’know, CURSED?? end sidebar - but I can’t stay mad at her. One, she’s just a kid, and two, she’s in so much pain and just misses her dad. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing at 16. Ok, but I wouldn’t have just gone around touching all the objects willy-nilly. Maybe a little, but...she really went for broke, man. As the movie goes on and more and more demon creatures try to murder them, it just becomes so clear that no one has ever fucked up this badly.

McKenna Grace is probably my favorite working child actress, which may be why she’s in like, everything right now. She’s just so soulful, and conveys a real depth of emotion in everything she does. She does a FANTASTIC job as Judy Warren, who frankly, has done nothing wrong in her life, ever, and did nothing to deserve all this bullshit.

OK but would someone get some goddamn WD-40 in this creaky ass house. This is the most 1970s house I’ve ever seen, it can’t have been built more than 10 years ago, why are all your hinges so creaky that they can be heard from miles away? 

One problem with being the 7th entry in a horror movie universe is that we’re seeing a lot of the same tricks used in previous films. Obviously haunted house movies only have so many guns in their arsenal, but it is a disappointment to see the exact same slow walk around with a scary figure (The Bride here, The Nun in The Conjuring 2) that we’ve seen play out exactly this way in a previous franchise entry. In fact, I noticed a LOT of other nods and similar bits to a number of horror movies (The Grudge, The Conjuring, Paranormal Activity) which is an interesting parallel given the events of the movie and all the various evil entities we see coming alive in the house, but that was the one that felt particularly egregious.

The few moments of comic relief (the pizza guy, and Bob) are WELCOME distractions, and well executed.

Nice close-up shot of a Raggedy Ann doll (the real-life Annabelle is a Raggedy Ann doll).

As for the evil entities we see, there’s a mixture of truly unnerving and just ho-hum. There’s one demon in particular that I’m thinking of who is VERY scary at first, but then in shown somewhere else for way too long and becomes noticeably less scary. 

The whole situation with the Ferry Man was just A Lot. When the coins started hitting the ground, Sleepy Gay pointed out that there were no good options here - the absolute best case scenario is that there’s a dude in your house throwing coins, and that’s not a situation you want to find yourself in.

Did I Cry? No, there was no crying. However, Sleepy Gay and I both screamed out loud at a VERY high volume.

Overall, this is pretty solid and certainly in the top ranks of the non-Conjuring movies in the franchise. There’s a little something for everyone in terms of types of scares, and if you like the creeping dread and building atmosphere of these types of haunted house movies, you’ll like this one too. 

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[buzzdixonwriter]

Stan Lee [1922 – 2018]

Stan the Man.

. . .

I tell people that after four guys with Liverpudlian accents, the greatest influencers of pop culture in America in the 1960s were four editors.

A lot of us looked on them as uncles -- and an aunt -- who served as inspirations / role models / guideposts / influencers during our lives, especially our impressionable preteen through early adult years.

Uncle Hugh was the worldly bon vivant:  Suave, sophisticated, erudite, hip.  He showed us what it meant to be a grown up even if our parents disapproved of his lifestyle.

Aunt Helen was kind of Uncle Hugh’s female opposite number, trash talked a bit because she was a female and “women just shouldn’t behave that way” but y’know what, every family needs an eccentric-bordering-crazy aunt and she was America’s.

Especially for tens of millions of young women and girls to whom she demonstrated  there wasn’t just one lifepath stretching before them but thousands.

Uncle Forry showed us it was okay to be obsessive and geeky about weird interests and, contrary to our parents’ advice, to seek community with others who shared those interests.  Okay, so maybe there was something a little odd, a little off about him, but he showed us how the magic was made, and thus steered thousands of us into creative careers.

And Uncle Stan?  Uncle Stan was the avuncular raconteur, the enthusiastic cheerleader crackling with energy, the slick yet charming salesman so good at his job it never seemed like he was selling anything even when he was most blatant about it.  He got us excited about what he was selling, and unlike our other uncles and aunt, he would drop by once a week with some new adventures to share with us.

He was our storyteller, our mythmaker, and in a very real sense, our prophet.

I’ll leave it for you to decide if he was a false one or not.

. . .

Luck matters.

Talent is tremendous, perseverance a plus, and skill a must, but it’s better to be lucky than good.

Stan Lee was born Stanley Martin Lieber in 1922, the son of a working class immigrant New York couple. He grew up in a manner very typical for New Yorkers and Americans of that era, struggling through the Great Depression, catching odd jobs where he could find them, finally landing a gig as a nepotist at a company owned by the husband of a cousin.

That cousin’s husband was Martin Goodman, and the company was Marvel (nee Timely) Comics.

If it had been a dress making factory we would have never heard of him.

. . .

Decades later, The Cannon Group -- that slapdash conglomeration of ruthless ambition and genuine love of cinema held together by the thinnest threads of artistic ability -- released their version of Captain America and erroneously attributed the character as “created by Stan Lee”.

To his honor, Stan was embarrassed by this gaffe and when asked would be quick to cite Jack Kirby and Joe Simon as the actual creators.

Stan entered the then nascent Marvel Universe early in 1941 with issue three of the Captain America comic book, penning a two page text story:  Captain America Foils The Traitor's Revenge

And credit where credit is due:  From the very beginning of his creative association with Marvel, he was adding innovative ideas (in this case, the first instance of Cappy using his shield as a frisbee to attack bad guys).

But that was far from the most important thing young Stanley Lieber created in that story.

The bigger, more important, far more influential invention?

Stan Lee

. . .

Take a moment to understand how important writers were in American culture between the two world wars.

Hemingway kicked over the anthill.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and Sinclair Lewis probed deep down through the upper crust into the American psyche, John Steinbeck and Upton Sinclair did the same in the opposite direction with their stories of working class people.

Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler looked at the underbelly of American cities while William Faulkner dug deep in the old south.

Anita Loos and Dorothy Parker and Robert Benchley and James Thurber and even irascible Alexander Woollcott brought sunshine and laughter.

These people were not just celebrities, they were looked upon as key influencers and trend setters, seeing where the culture was going and commenting on it, illuminating the way forward for the rest of us.

And that’s not counting the hundreds of other authors who wrote popular books and magazines, who filled the best seller lists with novels that became hit movies.

The American people read and they read a lot.  Every week The Saturday Evening Post would deliver a half dozen top flight stories and articles to your home.  Liberty and Collier’s and McCall’s and The Ladies’ Home Journal and Redbook would also bring dozens of well written stories to you, and that’s not counting the vast pulp market or publications like Reader’s Digest and The Saturday Review and The New Yorker which offered literary criticism not for a high brow elite coastal urban audience but for Americans all across the country.

We read more, and thanks to pre-TV radio we listened more, not sitting passively as images washed over us.

Being a writer was a big deal back in those days, even if it wasn’t the most reputable of professions.

My father wanted to be a writer, but after the Korean War he put that aside and started working in a dress factory.

You’ve never heard of him.

. . .

Like many young people between the two world wars, Stanley Martin Lieber harbored literary ambitions.

He’d written for his school newspaper, did some small scale copywriting for neighborhood advertisers, and briefly worked with the W.P.A. Theater Project as well as a couple of other entry level jobs typical then and now for teens after school or on weekends.

His initial employment at Timely Comics was pure schlub work:  Sharpen the pencils, refill the ink wells, erase the pencil lines once the inkers were done.

I can easily imagine him pestering Joe Simon, co-creator and editor of Captain America, until Simon finally said, “Sure, kid, write a two page story for me” just to get him out of his hair.

(Sidebar:  Back in the early days of comics, there was some question whether they qualified for the cheaper second class periodical mailing rates.  The formula of two text pages per comic took root as the minimum number needed for a publication to get that postal designation, so that’s why there are literally tens of thousands of crappy short-short stories in old comic books; they just had to be text, they didn’t have to be good.)

When Stanley Martin Lieber turned in Captain America Foils The Traitor's Revenge, he didn’t put his name on it.

He was saving that for his big / important / serious work.

Rather, he put his pen name on it:  “Stan Lee”

. . .

In all fairness, young Stanley Martin Lieber proved a fast study.

Within a year he was writing then creating back-up features for the various comic titles Timely published.

When the powerhouse creative team of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby left Timely towards the end of 1941, Martin Goodman installed Stanley Martin Lieber as the company’s new editor.

He was 19 at the time.

Now, while that is a laudable accomplishment, it’s also not as impressive as it sounds.

Low rent entertainment companies operate like assembly line factories:  The creative talent throws their work into the hopper at one end, the distributor hauls the finished product out at the other.

If the basic structure is sound, it doesn’t need a lot of attention to function smoothly.

Proof of this is that almost no sooner had Stanley Martin Lieber been promoted to editor than he was drafted, and from early 1942 to mid-1945, while he was in uniform, Timely Comics chugged along quite nicely in his absence.

At the end of the war and his military service, Stanley Martin Lieber made a fateful decision: He went back to work for his cousin’s husband.

. . .

To understand much of Stan’s career and later years, you have to look at his mid-1940s mind set.

Stan had never really worked for a living.

As noted, all his earlier jobs had been teenage entry level work.

While he was happy to have the income and helped with his family’s finances, he never had to support himself, much less a family of his own.  

Compare this to Simon and Kirby, who had hit the streets and hit ‘em hard during the Depression, scrambling for every odd job they could find, building their portfolio and reputation while supporting themselves.

There sat in the hearts and minds of the freelance writers and artists he employed a certain tough confidence that Stan never enjoyed.

His freelancers and co-workers who, like Simon and Kirby, would and could take principled stands were forever citizens of another country, another land that Stan could only gaze upon wistfully but never enter himself.

Draw your own Moses parallel.

. . .

If returning to Martin Goodman’s employ was a fateful decision for Stan, it was certainly a financially sound one.

Like many vets, he married soon after the war ended, in this case to Joan Clayton Boocock, a British hat model working in New York.

Of the many improbable things in Stan’s life, few are as improbable as this odd romance.  The couple enjoyed a very happy and long, long life together.

Seventy years married.

We should all be so lucky

But the blessing of this marriage was clouded by Stan’s anxiety over providing for his family.

He worked hard to support his wife and daughter.

But he never had the courage or confidence to look elsewhere.

When he married Joan, for all intents and purposes Stan married Marvel as well.

. . .

While comics publishing in general and superheroes in particular did well during World War Two, the market changed drastically afterwards.

Superheroes faded fast, replaced by true crime and horror comics.

Even super patriot Captain America went the horror root with the last two issues of his book being retitled Captain America's Weird Tales before being retired in 1949.

The true crime and horror craze was soon scuttled due to Dr. Frederic Wertham and the subsequent Comics Code.  

Timely renamed itself Atlas, and for the 1950s Stan busied himself on a variety of titles: Westerns, funny animals, teen, nurse (yes, there was a market for nurse comics), romance, teen nurse romance, and monster (a highly sanitized kid friendly version of the now banned horror comics).

He also got to know and work with an astonishing array of freelance talent:  Jack Kirby (now bouncing from project to project), Steve Ditko, John Romita Sr., Marie Severin, Gil Kane, and Wally Wood among others.

He enhanced his income with an odd assortment of side projects, including a comic strip based on a radio show and a pamphlet on how to write comic books.

Stan joked that he was just Goodman’s interim editor, that he would leave Timely-now-Atlas the moment a better gig showed up.

Stan didn’t look for a better gig.

The better gig came looking for him.

. . .

There are numerous versions of how Marvel Comics came about.

They all start with the Justice League over at DC.

As noted, after World War Two superhero comics faded and faded fast.

All the superhero titles vanished except for Action Comics (featuring Superman), Detective Comics (featuring Batman and Robin), and the occasional Wonder Woman cover story published by DC.

And the reason those three titles stayed in print was that if DC failed to publish them, they would either lose the license (in the case of Wonder Woman) or open themselves to the possibility of their creators reclaiming them.

And greedy scum that they are -- hey, these are comic books we’re talking about, a.k.a. the sleaziest industry on earth -- DC wasn’t about to let those properties go.

Despite efforts by other companies to relaunch superheroes (including a failed attempt by Stan and Atlas with Captain America in 1954), the kids just weren’t buying.

But in 1959 DC comics reintroduced Aquaman and Green Lantern, added their revamped but lackluster Flash, plucked the Martian Manhunter from the sci-fi bin, and added them to their big three (or 3.5 if you count Robin) as the Justice League of America in a one shot story.

To their delight, they captured lightning in a bottle (or at least on the pages of a badly printed comic).

Now, there are three primary variants in the Marvel rebirth story.

The first is that while Martin Goodman was golfing with Jack Liebowitz of DC, Liebowitz couldn’t help bragging on the Justice League’s success and Goodman went back to the office and told Stan to come up with something similar.

The second is that Stan had noticed the success of Justice League and suggested it to Goodman when they were brainstorming ideas for Atlas.

The third is that Goodman was on the verge of shutting Atlas down, the offices were already being packed up, Stan was in a dither, and Jack Kirby told him to relax, they’d figure out a way of staying in business before Goodman lowered the boom for good.

What really happened?

Who knows…

Kirby’s version certainly sounds more in character for the men involved, but the paper trail points somewhere between the Goodman and Stan versions.

Maybe (probably?) some combination of all three, with each participant remembering only the part that seemed most important to them.

Whatever the true impetus, a decade and a half writing, drawing, and editing romance / soap opera and goofy monster comics served Stan and Kirby well.

The unique gestalt of The Fantastic Four flew right in the face of DC’s “super friends” approach: This was a team of superheroes who had their own personal problems, who didn’t like each other all that much, and who had to spend as much time fighting their own personal discord as they did the supervillains that threatened them.

DC caught lightning in a bottle.

Marvel (formerly Atlas, and before that Timely) caught…a spark.

The popular history (and we’ll get into how that was shaped in a moment) is that The Fantastic Four and all the other Marvel titles were huge hits from the git-go, steam rolling over all opposition to dominate the industry.

Ehhh…not quite.

Insofar as they sold well and kept the doors open and attracted a good audience response and an appreciable amount of ancillary merchandising, yeah, that they did.

But DC outsold Marvel for most of the decade, including the roll out years when all their big characters / teams / franchises were introduced.

There’s a phrase I use: The jazz musician’s jazz musician.

I use it not to just specifically reference jazz but to point out the innovators who are doing highly influential cutting edge stuff that mainstream audiences just don’t get.

Those in the know -- other jazz musicians, or in the case of Marvel, other artists and writers and editors -- grasp what’s happening immediately, but it isn’t until they begin reinterpreting it and filtering it through more audience familiar styles that the innovators’ true impact is felt.

And then, if they’re lucky, the innovators finally come into their own much later as the mainstream catches up to where they once were decades earlier.

Marvel didn’t exactly struggle, but they had to work hard to remain competitive during the 1960s -- and there was a lot of competition out there.

But the pay off came in the mid-1970s, when the young fans (and we’ll get to them, too) grew up and started entering the business.

I state this without equivocation:  All American comics from 1975 to the start of the manga boom in 2000 -- every single one of ‘em -- were direct or indirect responses to what Marvel had been doing from 1961 to 1967.

What part did Stan play in all this?

. . .

There are almost as many ways to create a comic book as there are comic book creators, but the two chief styles are DC full scripts and Marvel outlines.

At DC, writers handed in scripts broken down panel by panel, dialog included; the artist followed the script as closely as possible and made no major changes without editorial permission.

At Marvel, Stan would discuss a story idea with a writer or sometimes directly with the artist.  At most this would result in a short outline (three pages max for a full length comic) that laid out the basic idea of the story, described the characters and conflict, and gave some idea how things should wrap up.  The artist then broke down and laid out the story by themselves; the editor would either add dialog themselves or send a Xerox copy to the writer for them to come up with dialog.

If you have a proficient hard working art crew, the Marvel method lets you produce a lot of comics very fast, and relatively cheaper since the editor and artist can knock out a story idea over coffee, thus sidestepping the writer for at least the first half of the process.

Stan and his artists had been working this way for a decade and a half.

They knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses, how to play into the former and avoid the latter.

Any competent bullpen can produce comics this way.

The Marvel bullpen had a lot of good, talented artists.

But it also had

J*A*C*K FREAKIN’ K*I*R*B*Y

The most interesting, the most innovative work in any art form gets done around the edges where the gatekeepers are loath to visit.

“Yeah, sure, whatever, knock yourself out, just have it done by Thursday…”

Low budget filmmakers, late night TV, garage bands, cruddy comedy clubs, fanzines, these are venues where the cutting edge bleeds, where most of the stuff is crap because nobody cares but because somebody cares part of it is dynamite.

Jack Kirby cared, and cared a lot about comics.

So did Steve Ditko.

So did Jim Steranko.

Stan was smart enough to see that and get out of the way.

. . .

So what part of Marvel’s success can be attributed to Stan?

Based on what I’ve seen, what I’ve heard, and what I know, I’d say anywhere from as little as 20% to as much as 33 1/3% of any specific title reflects Stan’s input.

Stan was no dummy, Stan had talent, Stan had skill, Stan had good ideas.

But Stan also had little time and even less help.

He’d throw the idea at the artists and the artists would throw their execution back.

Stan, to varying degrees, would refine the story in the dialog stage so that it fit in consistently with the rest of the titles they were publishing.

But the success of Marvel as an entity?

That’s 80% Stan’s doing.

. . .

I said Kirby and Ditko and Steranko loved comics.

Stan did, too, but he loved Stan even more.

He’d spent half his life laboring in relative anonymity.  

His dreams of a serious literary career had come to naught.

His resume’ consisted solely of working for his cousin���s husband’s middling successful comic book company.

He lacked the courage and confidence that the artists in his bullpen possessed, courage and confidence they’d acquired by knocking on doors and chasing after jobs.

In 1961 he stood on the edge of middle age, with nothing significant to show for himself.

And while The Fantastic Four and Thor and The Incredible Hulk and Spider-Man may not have equaled the successes at DC, they sure were more than anything he’d experienced before.

And by promoting them, he also promoted himself.

The Marvel method made lengthy continuities and crossovers easier to execute than DC’s formally scripted method.  His lack of time led to multi-part stories and to setting those stories not in mythical Metropolis or Gotham City in real life New York so he wouldn’t have to provide artists with references.

These lengthy continuities and crossovers, as opposed to DC’s standalone stories, got Marvel readers to pick up more and more titles, and to become more and more deeply involved in the Marvel Universe.

Stan interacted with these fans of Marvel comics (and they were enthusiastic, if not numerous).  His column, Stan’s Bullpen, came out every week, whenever a new Marvel Comic hit the stands.  He handed out No-Prizes to sharp eyed fans who spotted errors, getting those fans to read even more Marvel Comics.

“Face front, true believer! Excelsior!”

. . .

For all his delight in leading the fans in The Merry Marvel Marching Society, Stan didn’t lead his bullpen with the same enthusiasm.

Something transpired between him and Ditko.  Ditko famously came in with the finished art for Spider-Man #38, dropped the pages on the desk of Stan’s secretary, said, “That’s that!” and walked out, never to darken Marvel’s doors again.

A few years later, as Marvel characters began booming in popularity and raking in licensing deals, Kirby approached Stan and suggested they present a unified front to Marvel’s owners to demand a slice of the pie they were generating for the company.

Stan asked for some time to mull the prospect over…

…and immediately raced to Martin Goodman and signed a long term contract stating that all the work and characters he and Kirby had created for Marvel were done under a work-for-hire contract, and that the company owed no shares or royalties to either of them.

Kirby left Marvel and, ever the jazz musician’s jazz musician, went over to DC and created new comic book series for them.

Marvel’s onerous work-for-hire contract (essentially by endorsing one’s paycheck one signed away all rights to work one had done) came under legal scrutiny, and when changes in US copyright law created the potential for the Kirby estate to sue to recover the copyright on the characters he had co-created, Marvel sued the estate to prevent them from going to court.

The Kirby estate was blocked again and again in their effort to regain their right to sue, but when the US Supreme Court agreed to hear the case Marvel capitulated rather than run the risk they might win the right to sue and might prevail.

When Stan would go on vacation, Marvel employees would tremble.

Stan hated personal confrontations, and rather than fire someone face-to-face, when he would go on vacation it would befall some other member of Marvel management to discharge the employee.

(Stan would feign ignorance when he came back, and would promise to “see what I can do” to help the discharged employee, but of course that never happened.)

. . .

Stan’s hard work promoting Marvel as a brand paid off, and by the mid-1970s he and the company were dominating comics sales.

Ancillary merchandising and marketing varied from year to year as audience interest ebbed and flowed, but Stan was always quick to make sure his name got mentioned in every press release, his cameo in every live action movie and TV show.

And to be truthful, it was hard not to like Stan.

He bubbled over with energy and enthusiasm, he tirelessly promoted Marvel (and himself), and constantly engaged with fans.

For me, one of the highlights of my professional career was to pass Stan in the hallway of Marvel Productions in the early 1980s and to have him recognize me and call me by name.

I felt I had arrived.

Stan’s daily involvement with Marvel diminished over the years, first because he moved to California to make deals for Marvel movies and TV shows (not that many at that time), later because he no longer connected with the story telling style Marvel evolved into.

He formally split off from Marvel in the late 1990s (though retaining a healthy retainer from them) and got involved in a number of questionable ventures.

Our orbits intersected again during the short lived existence of Stan Lee Media (SLM), ostensibly his effort to create a new brand of superheroes for a new century, in reality a stock manipulation scheme that saw people sentenced to lengthy prison terms and the mastermind behind it fleeing to Brazil.

Stan, it should be pointed out, was as much a victim as Merrill Lynch in all this, but it also reflects a key shortcoming in his character.

I had, thanks to the intercession of Mark Evanier, been briefly employed as Stan’s vice-president of creative affairs for SLM.

From the beginning of our employment, I and most of Stan’s other staff wondered how SLM was supposed to make money, and couldn’t follow the business strategy of Peter Paul, the former lawyer turned convicted drug smuggler who had insinuated himself in Stan’s life.

Something was rotten in the state of California, and the more one questioned the wisdom of Paul’s strategy, the more likely one was to be shown the door.

When it became apparent my neck was next on the chopping block, advice from Steve Gerber and several other former Marvel employees helped me secure a nice severance deal. The advice they gave was to approach Stan first before he had to bring the matter up, point out the fit didn’t seem to be working, and allow Stan to fall over himself in his eagerness to settle the matter without any negative confrontation.  Which I did, and which he did, and we both came away happier for it.

Shortly after that, the company imploded as the stock manipulation became apparent, and Paul’s secondary scheme was revealed to use the same copyright provision Marvel and Stan fought against re the Kirby estate to lay claim to Marvel characters.

Stan moved on from there to POW! Entertainment, another effort to capitalize on Stan’s celebrity status, and while that company was legit, it did not generate the response they anticipated.

During that period, however, thousands of missing pages of Marvel artwork was discovered in a storage unit Stan rented.

The official story was that these pages had been accidentally scooped up when Stan left Marvel’s New York office, but that doesn’t pass the smell test.  Those pages were supposed to be returned to the original artists; selling them as collectibles was an ancillary form of income and one that comics publishers allowed (the art having been transferred to either print film or digital files by that point).

Another thing that didn’t pass the smell test was the “lost” original outline for the first Fantastic Four story, a one and a half page document that had been displayed under glass at SLM office.  The story of how it was “found” seems awfully suspect, and more than a few of us think it was a =ahem!= “recreation” typed up at a much later date.

POW! tried promoting him as a still viable, still vital creator, but anyone who had a meeting with him knew how much of his success rested on the talents of his co-creators. They tried promoting him as still current in pop culture, but he was too old and frail to sell that idea.

They actually tried circulating a “fake Stan Lee™”, an actor hired to go and do a Stan Lee impersonation at local conventions, but that idea quickly died an embarrassing death.

Eventually POW! and Stan dissolved their formal relationship, and POW! sold out to foreign investors, leaving Stan to his own devices. 

The man who always feared not having somebody to work for was finally on his own.

In his latter years, Stan appeared in the news again and again, this time as an elderly man abused by at least some of his caregivers.

Stan sure could pick ‘em, huh?

That’s not the sort of publicity anyone deserves to have, much less endure.  The abuse included dragging him around the country to conventions to promote…something.

Footage of him in a very disoriented state, being told how to sign his own name for autograph hounds who had just paid a hefty fee for same, outraged his fans, even those of us who recognized his complicity in his own misfortune. 

. . .

Uncle Hugh did not age well. For a man so worldly and debonair, he never recognized when it was time for him to leave the party.  After a while his hanging on became an embarrassment, like the old geezer trying to teach the young kids all the hot new dances such as the foxtrot and the twist.

Aunt Helen was more savvy in that respect, and she found that by stepping back a bit, she could wait for the occasional question to be directed at her, and for her answer to be taken seriously instead of with an eyeroll.

Uncle Forry was indeed a bit “off”, downright creepy in fact, and while much of his influence on others was for the good, a significant portion was not.  We look back and say “we shoulda known, we shoulda known” but the truth was he validated our interests when no one else would, and for that we were willing to overlook a multitude of sins.

And Uncle Stan?  He lived long enough to become a cautionary tale…

. . .

It’s impossible for me to dislike Stan.

Roz Kirby, Jack’s wife, hated him with an unholy passion, but she earned that right.

Steve Ditko clearly had an axe or three to grind, but he’s maintained his silence.

Steve Gerber had his friction points with Stan, but in the end bore him no animosity.

Another comics pro, when news broke of the discovery of the missing Marvel artwork, shook his head and said with a rueful smile, “Stan never fails to disappoint, doesn’t he?”

Stan the Man.

The man who was Marvel.

The mythmaker of modern superhero culture.

We want him to be as heroic, as noble as the heroes he wrote.

But he wasn’t.

He was all too typical of too many people.

Too anxious.

Too easily swayed.

Too eager to succeed.

Too quick to take short cuts.

He loved his wife.

He loved his daughter.

He was charming and gracious in person, and there are few meals I’ve shared that were more delightful than those SLM business lunches.

There was good in him, but not enough strength.

We want our heroes to be strong.

Stan the Man.

Stan the human.

R.I.P.

  © Buzz Dixon

[filmfreak1994]

Change the Channel

A lot of people have been talking about their experiences with Channel Awesome in the wake of the 60+ page document released by Allison Pregler and several other former content creators for Channel Awesome. I figured I might throw my own experience with the site and its people (mostly Doug) too while the topic is relevant, even considered dusting off the old camera I got for Christmas to film a video but allergy season is upon us and I’m coughing up my lungs so the written word it is.

I was a frequent user of YouTube in the early days of its inception, mostly to look up viral videos and just go on a stream of pointlessness for hours on end with each recommended vid in the sidebar (mostly consisting of parodies to Star Wars, LotR, and entire Simpsons episodes uploaded before the great purge of early 2008). In all that time between 2006 and 2007, reviewers like the Angry Video Game Nerd and The Nostalgia Critic eluded me. I saw plenty of the 5 Second Movie clips and thought they were hysterical but didn’t even make the connection that they were made by a “Nostalgia Critic” until around the end of 2009, when a friend of mine at school told me to look up NC’s review of Sonic the Hedgehog (the weird TV show and the futuristic evil Jim Cummings one). I finally gave in which led me to watching some of his other, recent reviews like the “Star Wars Holiday Special” which was freaking hysterical (and still brings a warm smile to my face just thinking about it). By the time the new year rolled around and I had discovered That Guy With The Glasses I was hooked.

For a while I stuck to watching reviews on YouTube when fans would rip them from the main site, but decided to eventually support the site itself where I mostly stuck to NC videos but also watched content from the other producers when it interested me; Spoony and his Final Fantasy reviews, Linkara and any comic with a subject material I was familiar with, Marzgurl and her Don Bluth retrospective, so on and so forth. Like many other people, I wasn’t keeping up with every producer’s videos weekly like I was with NC, but when I decided to watch something else their content was worth it, being funny and informative all at once, even creating new branches of my interest and giving me new perspectives on media criticism.

I watched Nostalgia Critic religiously every week and, sorry to say, started to take his opinion as gospel, and the opinions of other reviewers as well, treating certain movies and shows as bad just because they said so and didn’t have an opinion for myself for the longest time. It was when I started to pay attention to Doug Walker himself and his philosophy that you should like what you like and every movie is a miracle that I started to chill out and even disagree with his opinions at times (I remember his “Little Nemo” review made me seek out that movie and I actually quite enjoyed it).

TGWTG was a formative site for me in my high school years, developing much of my sense of humor and how I look at movies. I watched all the anniversary specials, started to watch a greater portion of producers that included Lindsay and Kyle’s more analytical reviews and Brad Jones’s and Matthew Buck’s mix of cynicism and snark with genuine analytical praise and criticism. I even started to look at music critics like Paw or Todd even though I can’t judge music for shit (if it has a catchy beat I’ll more or less dig it, I’m not picky). I always imagined when I moved out for college (yeah, how’d that work out for ya, younger me) that I would start my own review series in the vein of these online personalities and even be picked up for the site where I too could join in on the anniversary movies and have a swell time and make friends with the people I looked up to and have a good time filming huge crossover events with them (in hindsight I can only imagine what role Doug would have me play in them, if I was even deemed important to be in them at all). Whenever people criticized the anniversary movies I just shrugged it off and said, “Yeah, they’re dumb, but I like em anyway,” and when rumors starting going around about some upside down crucifixion going on I shrugged them off as just rumors (and to be fair it wasn’t upside down but the real thing isn’t much better).

Anyway, around the time when To Boldly Flee came I enjoyed the movie a lot (I only saw it the once and I was eighteen, eighteen-year-old me and present me don’t get on anymore) and thought it was a bittersweet conclusion to The Nostalgia Critic but was excited to see what new projects Doug and the company would do after its conclusion. Plus the other contributors still had their content to keep TGWTG going strong into the foreseeable future. At least I thought.

I didn’t hate Demo Reel, but I didn’t like it all that much either. I only caught around a few episodes before losing interest, saying I’d get back into it eventually but never going out of my way to see them. By accounts they got better as they went along and I was interested in the episode that paid tribute to Elizabeth Hartman (which I think is the same episode that had Mara Wilson and Arin Hanson? I might be wrong (I didn’t even know who Arin was at the time but hindsight is 20/20)), but I just put off watching them until, oh look, NC’s back. At the time I thought this was interesting, there was plenty he could still do with the character given his new ground rules and the emphasis on skits gave the show a different tune that I felt, at the time, kept it fresh from what it was before. I missed the simplicity of the earlier reviews but I happily stuck with the NC again, as well as the same creators I’d happily watched before and plenty more I started to watch like Phelous (around the time he did that weird Aladdin meets Pagemaster movie, I used to rent that from Hollywood Video all the freaking time).

It was around this tumultuous time that Doug actually kinda started to annoy me. Never to the point where I stopped watching NC, but he sort of seemed to forget his whole “Like what you like,” message and outright attacked fans who disagreed with him. Certain jokes in his reviews rubbed me the wrong way (if Irate Gamer can’t get away with blowing up Ubisoft cuz they wouldn’t let him into a conference, you can’t get away with pretending to blow up Happy Madison just because they make shit movies) and he had a general vindictiveness to those who liked movies like “Man of Steel” or “The Lorax” that just seemed mean spirited and not a funny little video meant to entertain (though I guess the signs were always there like when he added in a dig at “Avatar” in his “Conan” review for no reason). But by and by he seemed to mellow out (no doubt dealing with problems letting go of Demo Reel and how big a success he thought it would be) and I still watched his stuff, including the vlogs he did with Rob regarding “Avatar” (the good one, hey I did it too!), “Korra,” “Adventure Time,” and any recent movie that came out. I started to agree with them less and less but they were still entertaining guys and I liked what they were doing.

Some of the shadier stuff going on at the site more or less flew over my head. The game show they did was pretty much “Demo Reel” part two for me in how much interest I had in it and that faded from public consciousness pretty quickly, and it was around the time the site switched from TGWTG to just Channel Awesome that a real shift began to become more noticeable. People were leaving. People I may not have watched all the time, but they were leaving, often times unannounced and seemingly unprovoked (because quite a few of them were). I read about what happened to Allison, aka Obscurus Lupa, who I had watched on and off again and thought that was pretty shitty, and got a general grasp that the management of CA itself wasn’t very good from what she and Lindsay alluded to (or just straight up said, they really should’ve had some NDAs if they cared so much about how they look) in some posts on Tumblr or Twitter but I still carried on watching NC and the other creators on the site mostly because I just figured what every fan figured at the time, Doug was mostly innocent and it was Michaud and Rob who were the real strings behind big decisions like who stays and goes (I liked Rob fine, but even back then I knew he could be kind of an ass).

More and more people from the classic era of TGWTG were leaving or not producing as much for the site as they did and that was a shame. CA was never what TGWTG felt like to me, even if the purpose was to put more focus on the other producers (supposedly (hell, TGWTG did a way better job of featuring producers in my opinion even if it wasn’t perfect)). But whatever, I carried on every Tuesday watching NC, watching other creators when their stuff interested me, but it still wasn’t quite the same as before, and I had become more aware of the general bad experience most people had filming the anniversary movies even if the full extent of that didn’t come until a few days ago.

It was really when Lewis announced that he had left and I found the Change the Channel hashtag that I started to take notice of these stories, finding plenty of them on my own from the links to Twitter conversations many of the former contributors were having before reading them on the Google doc. I was torn, wondering if I should boycott NC with all that I had read and decided to make it a temporary one until the doc came out and to see if he or CA would provide a statement. Well, the doc came out and the apology not long after. And yeah, I moved it to a permanent ban after that bullshit.

I’ve given up watching people I loved before, JonTron and his racist bullshit was the last straw in supporting anything he did, and even with the Me Too movement I’ve given up any kind of support for people like Kevin Spacey who I used to love as an actor (now it’s pretty easy to see how he was able to play such scumbag villains over and over again). I know Doug isn’t a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer, and to my knowledge he hasn’t used his position to sexually take advantage of anyone (though he has turned a blind eye to others doing the same and the same can’t be said for taking advantage of people in other ways), but I just couldn’t watch stuff directly made by him and for Channel Awesome with all this information. It wouldn’t be right, even with an adblocker. 

I don’t mean to threaten the livelihood of people on his team like Malcolm or Tamara, I like them a great deal and they’re very talented, heck I even enjoyed the skits on NC a lot more than most because of them (and Rachel, she was great too). But I said to myself until an actual apology is listed and some form of action is taken to truly better the site, I wouldn’t watch them. Others have suggested and I have thought the same, that the best thing to do would be to fire Michaud, though I realize this would create a slew of problems given that he owns the IP for NC and is the founder of CA. Still, some form of acknowledgement from the Walkers would go a long way to bettering the public response to all this. More and more contributors have left in the wake of this document, either out of fear for their own image or to show solidarity with the many complaints levied toward the site (and their reasons are completely valid no matter what, they’re trying to make a living), looking at the site today it’s practically a ghost town. I don’t blame those that have stayed for anything, but the reputation of CA is tarnished and at this point, especially with that piss-poor “apology,” it’s going to take several huge leaps to get it back.

I realize the purpose of Change the Channel was never to create a boycott of NC or any of the Walker’s content, at least by the majority of those who contributed to the docs, and those who choose to boycott do so of their own volition. Well, that’s my volition. No matter how much NC shaped my sense of humor in my younger years and inspired me to look at movies critically myself, I can’t deny the damage that Doug and Rob have been complicit in nor turn a blind eye to the shady practices they, Michaud, and past executives on the site have done. 

I really do wish that what was seemingly apparent in front of the camera, that this was a site filled of talented people who were also good friends having a good time, was true behind the scenes as well. People have been hurt, assaulted, taken advantage of, and tossed aside when they were no longer useful to the site. It’s not right, and I’m literally changing the channel until actual change is made.

[olivieblake]

As someone who writes a lot of OC’s, what’s your take on the best way to approach incorporating them into a story? And what kind of feedback do you or others typically get? From what I understand, it can be really risky. But you do it so so well and I love all your OCs. I personally am very in favor of dynamic OCs. ☺️ Anyway this could be a podcast ask for when serious (Sirius?) hats are donned, or just a regular ask. Thank you!

hm hm hmm WELL, I promise, I don’t purposely write OCs. actually, I mostly avoid them as much as possible? the only fic I’ve ever written any OCs into (minus a few here and there, like Paul the house elf) is How to Win and I regret it immensely. well okay I don’t REGRET it, per se, because I love all of them and I developed them fully and I felt they were necessary to the plot, but the more OCs I introduced to the story the more reviews dropped, so… I’d caution against them unless you can’t get around them (which, again, I couldn’t). This is sort of the inherent problem with post-Hogwarts fics, especially; most readers don’t want original characters to begin with (and blending them into the potterverse can be a lot of work to do well, even based on simple things like naming them; I find a lot of OCs can throw me from the story if their names or occupations feel out of place) but often they’re a necessity, obviously, because half the canon characters are dead and/or can’t merely be shuffled around if you’re going into any sort of depth, plot-wise.

basically, here’s the rules for writing OCs into fics (DISCLAIMER: they are only rules for if you want the fic to be broadly consumed, mind you; you can write excellent OCs without using any of these rules, but for purposes of making them appealing to the average fic audience, I’d bear these in mind):

you know how the moment you drive a car off the lot, it loses value? that’s what happens when you add an OC to a fanfic. the moment you add one, the entire fic depreciates in value to the average fic reader. so, if you can avoid using one and can use a rare or underused canon character instead, always do that. 

sidebar: I mean, people love my Theo, right? and yet he’s nearly as much an OC as any other character I’ve dropped into How to Win. people just know his name and they have a general idea of his background, so they’re okay with seeing him. if I made a character exactly like him, down to the very last detail, and then tried to pass him off as Draco’s best friend? ha. yeAH right olivie put the martini down where you found it and defenestrate yourself

if you can’t avoid the OC, then try to give them a backstory that blends fully into the potterverse. rhys hawkworth is a pretty good example of that. he’s the same age as dramione and the gang, but there’s a pretty solid reason he wasn’t at hogwarts with them; same with mel warbeck, whose mother is a canon character we know close to nothing about from the books

do not give the OC a canon love interest if you want them to be liked by the reader. if their job is to be the person who sleeps with one of the main canon characters until they gradually disappear from the plot, fine (though people would still likely prefer a canon character in the OC’s place) but people will generally never come around to liking someone if they were ever a rival for draco or hermione in a dramione fic, for example. they are also usually fine as love interests on the side; basically, just limit their screen time, so to speak.

when it comes to any characters, original or canon, it always seem to follow that the female ones are harder to get people on board with if they have even a little bit of ambition. I think this is mostly low-key levels of sexism but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it has proven true across the board from Nobility’s Hermione to How to Win’s Daisy

the MOST successful OCs are the ones that supply comic relief. people are always happy to see an OC like Hortense or Thibaut whose one job is to be outrageous, vs someone like Cadell Hawkworth, who has a Tragic Backstory that requires them to feel something they may not wish to. they’ve had no time with him; they don’t care about him. fair enough! but everyone can laugh at thibaut eating grapes, so he’s safe

I mentioned names earlier; try to pick names that fit into the potterverse, (which is sort of hard to do considering none of us are Joanne, but…) I think it’s generally safe to just avoid names of people you know. OCs that are named things like Ben and Andrew feel unlikely to pop up at Hogwarts, you know what I mean? which is not to say that they can’t, but I think the less “familiar” a name, the more easily they blend into the narrative

try not to insert a lot of OCs at once, if only because inserting any volume of characters at once can be confusing. by that I mean if harry for example is being introduced to an OC, try not to make it a group of OCs all at the same time, because the reader is unlikely to remember all of their names. remember: EVERYONE is bad with names.

I also like to develop each of my OCs quite a bit with a full backstory before I really make use of them. I also use the backstory-developing time to make certain I can’t use a canon character in their place. every OC in How to Win went through vigorous mental testing of: is this character necessary? is there anyone else I could conceivably use in their place? once I was certain the answer was no, I moved forward.

okay I think that’s enough rules for now, and man, have I been a bit down on OCs? possibly (read: yes). I guess that’s a hint they’re not very loved in my story, so I’m wary of using them. but hey, I love the ones I’ve used, and I certainly think they can be used well, and skillfully — so as long as you have a compelling reason for using one, then just develop them as thoughtfully as you would develop any other character!

[swipestream]

Capers Review

If you are like me, you have probably shot straight up in the middle of the night, sweating, thinking, “what if Johnny Dangerously or Crimewave happened in the same universe as the X-Men? What if anyone other than me had actually seen Crimewave?”

If you aren’t like me, this has never happened to you, so please disregard. However, since I am me, I actually received a response to my fever dream in the form of Capers — a 1920s based roleplaying game about the clash between law enforcement and organized crime, with superpowers thrown in for good measure.

What Kind of Glad Rags Are These?

 This review is based on the PDF of the product. The game comes in at 165 pages, including a one-page rules summary, an 8-page appendix, and two pages of Kickstarter backers at the beginning.

The book is full color, with various headers and sidebars to call out new sections and to highlight optional rules and intent. The chapter heading and sidebars use lettering and flourishes that are reminiscent of the time period, and do a good job of setting the mood for the material in the book. There is also a four-page inset between the Player and GM sections, with a full-color comic depicting a typical sequence of events in the setting, which is a nice nod both to the time period and the comic book inspirations of the game.

 A Word About Setting

 Capers is set in a world where many NPCs are a different gender or ethnicity than the historical figure that inspired that character. Given the world of 1920s organized crime and law enforcement, you aren’t going to see much in the way of diversity without taking a step like this. Despite these changes, the only real historical divergence is the emergence of super-powered individuals after World War I, and many references are made to the existing tensions of the time regarding race, ethnicity, and religious intolerance.

As a cis white male that cares about diversity, I like this on the surface, but I also worry that just because it makes me “comfortable” with the era as a setting, that may be allowing me to live in a comfort zone that I should instead be examining. I’m not saying this is a good or a bad thing, just that it’s a complicated issue that I don’t have an answer for, and I’m not factoring in this choice as a good or a bad thing overall. It is something I want to spend more time exploring and discussing in the future.

Player Section

 The Player Section is broken up into smaller chapters that cover The Game, Character Creation, Rules System, Perks, Powers, Goods and Services, and Trembium.

The Game

The Game is really a section on what the game is about. What is the setting, and what are characters expected to do? In this case, the focus of the game is on the Prohibition Era, and playing either law enforcement officials or criminals in this time period. There is a nice bullet-pointed list spelling out the kinds of actions that PCs may take, as well as how the core mechanic, which is resolved with cards instead of dice, plays into the feel of the game.

I really like that the game is deliberate about its scope, explaining that it’s very focused on 1920s “Cops and Crooks” gameplay. I also really appreciate that this section introduces a sidebar on safety very early on. It’s easy to fall into the over the top action of the setting and then trip over concepts like gang violence, racial tensions, and addiction. The sidebar doesn’t dive deeply into any one of these topics, but does make it clear that difficult topics should not be introduced if those topics push anyone’s boundaries at the table, and it mentions the importance of having discussions and safety tools available.

Character Creation

Character creation is the next chapter, and the process is one that should feel familiar if you have played any traditional roleplaying games. Characters are either Regulars, Exceptionals, or Capers, although PCs are most likely Exceptionals or Capers. Exceptionals can pick up perks that aren’t available to Capers, but they fall short of being superhuman abilities. Capers don’t get access to perks, but they get to choose powers.

Characters pick three anchors — an identity, a virtue, and a vice. These all have triggers written into their descriptions for gaining moxie, a currency in the game that has multiple effects. If you don’t have anything in mind, there are card values assigned to these anchors to allow for random draws. Characters then pick traits and skills, which are added together to determine the number of cards a character can draw when they attempt an action. The next step is picking perks and powers (and with the GM’s permission, access to special gear that simulates powers).

Characters are assigned a level, but the main function of level is to summarize how many advancement points the character has. After spending initial advancement points, each time a character levels up, they gain two more advancement points.

The Rules System

The Rules System chapter delves into how to make those things you picked in the last chapter work during the game. Character creation feels a lot like what you might do in a dice pool style game, adding skills to traits to determine how many randomizers are used in a pool for that action. The difference is, instead of using all of your randomizers, you choose how many of your card draws to use, one at a time. The value of the card will determine the success or failure, but the suit of the card will determine if there is an ancillary good or bad side effect to that success or failure. You might draw a high-value card that is likely to give you a success, but you may still be tempted to draw another card to attempt a success without a complication.

Some powers are passive effects that modify other aspects of the character (like having superhuman strength, bypassing the normal limit on the trait), while others have their own power level that determines the number of cards a player can draw when attempting to activate or use the power.

Moxie can be spent to increase card counts, reduce damage taken, use a previously drawn card, add an element to the narrative, reshuffle the deck (normally done at the end of a scene), or to take damage for another character.

Initiative is a fairly standard skill test, with ranked results determining order, and held actions triggering a change in the order. There is also a special section on how to resolve a standoff, that uses a three-round game of “keep or draw” with the cards to simulate a tense situation before the action breaks out.

Perks and Powers

The next two chapters are on Perks and Powers, but the Perks chapter is only a single page. Perks are simple mechanics that let a non-powered character be a little tougher, more skillful, or resistant to superpowers, without being super-powered themselves.

If you have seen a wide variety of games with superpowers, you may have seen that some games favor discreet rules packets similar to spells in a game like D&D to describe powers in the game, while others, like Champions or Mutants and Masterminds, include game effects that can be slotted together to assemble a recognizable superpower. Capers leans towards the former, with subsections explaining powers like “Cold Beam” having its own set of rules, as well as some upgrades that can be purchased later. Some have persistent maintainable effects that cause a character to reduce their card count while the effect is active.

The powers touch on a lot of comic book staples, but definitely stay grounded in what sometimes gets categorized as “street level” powers. Picking up a car is impressive for super strength, and mental powers lean more towards “super short term hypnotism” rather than a deep exploration of telepathic abilities.

Goods and Services

Goods and Services is another short chapter, coming in at two pages. It gives the most common prices for 1920s goods that would matter to a game centered around law enforcement and organized crime, and gives stats for items like explosives or weapons. It also covers the price of real estate, for when you need options for a new safehouse or expanding your business holdings.

Trembium

Trembium is the final chapter in this section, and it’s about three pages long. Trembium is the element that has caused the upswing in superpowers. It can be used to create gear that mimics superpowers, and can be used in experiments to make super soldiers. While it is the default origin of superpowers in the setting, the rules surrounding it are optional, so it feels a little odd to have it in the Player’s Section. It’s an understandable compromise, however, since if it is allowed in the game, a lot of player options need to reference the rules.

In particular, the idea of nullifying or granting powers via direct injection of Trembium got a lot of creative juices flowing in my mind, and Trembium in general has a lot of potential if the Capers world opens up to other historical periods.

 GM Section

 The GM Section contains chapters on GM Guidelines, Backdrops, Law Enforcement, Friends and Enemies, and a GM Toolbox.

GM Guidelines

The GM Guidelines section has advice on how to structure adventures and encounters, player agency, and examples of encounter difficulty. There are also rules for advancing NPCs, statting out animals, designing your own powers, and a whole host of other eclectic, GM specific items that might come up in a campaign.

What I like best about this section is that encounter and adventure building is very much focused on having an idea of why you want to include something, and the structure for how to move from point A to point B. It’s not deeply philosophical, as games go, but it is very functional, and a clear indication of how the game is expected to run.

Backdrops

The Backdrops section is one of my favorites in the book, because it does what I wish a lot more books that include a setting would do. It gives you the basics of what makes an area unique, summarizes the important people and things, and then gives you sample adventure starters and rumors that are in line with the setting that has just been presented. It is very focused on how to use the information at the table.

Atlantic City, Chicago, and New York get the deepest treatment, with several pages of setting information and adventure ideas, city maps, and a few pages for stats of unique NPCs. Atlanta, Boston, Cincinnati, Detroit, Kansas City, Louisville, Miami, Milwaukee, New Orleans, and Philadelphia all get single page treatments, which save space by cutting out maps and suggesting “generic” NPC stat blocks for notable NPCs that are mentioned.

I like the degree to which all of the backdrops are “table ready,” and I enjoy seeing the subtle differences in the interplay between law enforcement and criminal elements in all of these mini-settings. Knowing how it works in one place helps to reinforce an intentional tone for other settings. If anything, it feels like more of the larger setting NPCs could have been summarized in a similar manner to the smaller setting characters, but that’s a minor quibble.

Law Enforcement

The Law Enforcement chapter goes into about two pages of details about how federal and local law enforcement is organized in the 1920s, then presents some NPC Feds for use in the game. Friends and Enemies follows, and presents a stat block and a descriptive paragraph for various NPCs that the PCs may encounter in the game. For the most part, there are about four stat blocks to a page, starting with unique NPCs that can be inserted anywhere, then moving to more general stat blocks like “Cop” or “Gambler.”

GM Toolbox

The GM Toolbox has a lot of wide-ranging material that might be of use to a GM that is looking to throw another curve into the standard campaign expectations. There are guidelines for alternate Earths, super-powered animals, and “events” where the number of people with superpowers around the world spikes, shifting the assumptions of the setting for a period of time.

I’m a comic book geek, and I love alternate reality tropes, so that’s my favorite section in this chapter. There are outlines for a world where robots are commonplace, a “mirror universe” style Earth, and one where Earth has suffered from an alien invasion, with stat blocks of example NPCs, and even some guidelines on playing characters native to those worlds.

 Reference Section

 The Reference Section includes appendices that cover a wide range of materials. This includes 1920s slang, a power index, common names in the 1920s, an NPC index, a list of inspirational material, a full index, and a one-page rules summary as well as a character sheet.

Like much of the rest of the book, this material is very functional. Having slang and names handy for improvisation is great, and I really like the one-page rules summary, as it manages to hit on some of the biggest items that would normally tempt players and GMs to halt the game and look up how a given rule works.

 It takes a fairly standard structure for how to resolve actions, and swaps in the card-based resolution that shifts expectations of how and when you should keep pushing your luck. 

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 The card-based mechanics add an element of gambling to a character’s actions that trigger a different risk versus reward evaluation than simple numbers can evoke. Using the suit to add dimensionality to success or failure is a great use of cards as a randomizer. The various settings for the game are summarized in a manner that makes them very useable at the table, and manages to bring out some of the differences between these regions as settings for different ongoing games.

 It’s a Raid!

 In a game where the actions flow freely without a lot of granular tactical movement or tracking, listing movement rates and ranges of powers in absolute feet feels strange to me. Initiative order and how readied actions work also feel like holdovers from older game design that doesn’t highlight the best aspects of the system. I like the anchors, but some of the items that trigger gaining moxie feel a little soft — I personally like more pointed, yes or no questions when it comes to awards based on character traits.

Recommended — If the product fits in your broad area of gaming interests, you are likely to be happy with this purchase.

The strength of Capers is that it pushes just enough to make something familiar into something fun and new. It takes a known time period and genre, Prohibition-era cops and crooks, and adds in superpowers. It takes a fairly standard structure for how to resolve actions, and swaps in the card-based resolution that shifts expectations of how and when you should keep pushing your luck.

In a few places, I feel like it played the traditional structure a little too safe, but overall, it has a great dynamic energy that is engaging. Not only am I interested in this particular implementation, I want to see how this world develops, and how these rules can be used to express other genres in other points in history.

Have you been a fan of Prohibition-era gaming in the past? Are you a fan of adding superpowers to different time periods? What are your favorite games that have done this? We would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below. Thanks!

Capers Review published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[thinktosee]

“THE BUILT-IN TRAGEDY OF BEING IN LOVE: KEN URBAN’S THE REMAINS”

Ken Urban. Image courtesy www.studiotheatre.org

Foreword by David’s father

Today’s post is a re-blog of a review piece by Adrien-Alice Hansel. It touches on Dr. Ken Urban’s latest theatrical production. I have recently been communicating with Dr. Urban. He is a Senior Lecturer in the Theater Arts at MIT. He was referred to me by Michael Levin of BusinessGhost Inc. I wanted to bring to Dr. Urban’s attention about David’s life, including his award-winning theatrical script, “PIETY.” He mentioned that he is in the midst of a major theatrical play and that he’d review my request when convenient. I was curious about this play he mentioned. He kindly emailed me the link to the website.

This is a story which I am very sure David Singh would have loved, appreciated and empathized. And he would just go on talking about it forever, as was his custom in things theatre and literature. In things which bring art to life, and life to art. 

So here we are with Ms Hansel’s take on Ken Urban’s production of THE REMAINS, which will have its world premiere from 16 May to 17 June 2018 at the Studio Theatre in Washington, DC  :

THE BUILT-IN TRAGEDY OF BEING IN LOVE : KEN URBAN’S THE REMAINS

Ken Urban’s work grapples with moral questions in theatrically adventurous ways. The Remains, which premieres at Studio in the 2017-2018 season, matches its formal boldness with Urban’s curiosity about the public consequences of private decisions. The seed for the play grew from personal experience, as he and his husband filed for divorce in 2015. “The irony of filing for a divorce just as all 50 states finally recognized my marriage did not escape me, and it raised a host of questions about what it means to be married, what it means to be divorced, and what it means to participate in this kind of social and civic institution as a gay man.” As his questions broadened, the possibility of a play that could encompass these questions began to coalesce.

The Remains follows Theo and Kevin’s relationship, ten years after they were one of the first gay couples to marry in Massachusetts and seventeen years after they met in graduate school. But things have changed, not just their right to marry but their jobs, their outlooks, their feelings and agreements about monogamy. Kevin is an academic, back in Boston after his first year in a cushy but remote job on the West Coast. Theo left his grad program for law school and has just finished a big case (“Defending the bad guys,” his father half-quips; Theo doesn’t disagree.) They’ve invited their families over for dinner—Theo has invited his parents, Kevin his sister—and midway through the increasingly uncomfortable meal, they reveal that they’re divorcing.

Urban’s darkly comic play considers this shift in legal status through two lenses. The first is a consideration of the public face of marriage and divorce, and the ways family and friends come to build their sense of themselves around a relationship. Theo’s mom recognizes the justice of the peace who married him just minutes before coming over; it becomes increasingly clear that Kevin’s twice-divorced sister takes solace in her little brother’s ability to keep his family life together in a way that she—and their parents—never did. When you’ve become an icon of social progress for others, how do you play a role you never wanted?

The second lens is a philosophical one, as Urban explores the ethical dimensions of Kevin and Theo’s divorce. During his own divorce, Urban was reminded of his time in the classroom, where he used to struggle to get even exceptionally smart undergrads to understand that “tragic” isn’t a synonym for “sad” (a point he lets Theo’s father—who teaches, at Harvard as Urban did—make in the play). As Urban puts it, “There was a moment during the divorce when I was trying to put the whole experience into words, and it reminded me of Hegel’s theory of tragedy. The situation is tragic in that classical way: The problem wasn’t that I’d made the wrong choice; the problem was that I had to choose between two things that were equally wrong and equally right.”

Another surprise of the aftermath of Urban’s divorce was how universally his friends and family connected with the embarrassment and disappointment of a dissolved relationship. The promise of this shared connection helped him dig deeper into the particularities of a couple whose relationship may seem one of intellectual or historical convenience, bookended by Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, the case that legalized same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, on one end and Obergefell v. Hodges on the other.

Throughout his theatre-making, Urban is interested in using the resources of theatre to connect seemingly disparate people over a shared emotional experience. “I task myself with making sure that you can track the emotional journey of the characters, even if they’re different from your own experience. The more specific their journey is, the easier it is to lose yourself in it. What I learned during my divorce is that every relationship is marked by the fact of change. Of course it is. Work, life—things that happen to you and choices you make—they will shift your values. There is a built-in tragedy about being in love, especially over the long term, because it will always be good and bad. Loving someone inevitably costs you.”

To put a wider frame around Theo and Kevin’s relationship and divorce, Urban has a potent theatrical surprise lying in wait at the core of the play, simmering under the snappy and engaging talk. The first two-thirds of the play chart these characters’ connections and disagreements in dialogue-driven scenes: tensions over monogamy, the strain of long-distance relationships, lingering hurt from estranged family, and the question—threaded throughout the meal—of how to reconcile competing moral understandings of a situation. But at a certain point (no spoilers here) something breaks—in the relationships, in the characters, and in the structure of the play as well. What follows is a radical shift in theatrical mode as the consequences of the relatively compressed scene that preceded it comes into view, offering a poignant and compelling representation of the higher-order social and philosophical questions behind the rift and wreckage at the heart of the play.

—Adrien-Alice Hansel 

Sidebar Text from the website featuring Ken Urban’s THE REMAINS :

“Kierkegaard. Kierkegaard’s version of tragedy is superior to Hegel’s…. Danish. Nineteenth century philosopher. He called the experience of the tragic hero, “the suffering contradiction.” You want two things and you cannot have both of those things. And so you suffer. Because wanting both those things that will destroy you.” —Kevin, The Remains

The link to the Website featuring Ken Urban’s works as follows :

https://www.studiotheatre.org/plays/play-detail/2017-2018-the-remains

Congratulations to Dr. Urban, the Director, the Cast and the Theatrical Crew of THE REMAINS.

In the Spirit of David Cornelius Singh

David’s father

Email : davidnfather@gmail.com

[ireviewuread]

TOO MUCH EVENTS IN SINGAPORE! | I Vlog U Watch 5 & 6 | Extended Vlog + Let’s talk (Updated)

This is a post that I was looking forward to writing for a long time. My extended vlog post and finally a heart to heart post. Finally, I can talk to all you IreviewUreaders and open the door to my life now. Firstly, the vlog I can’t believe it’s been 5 months since I last uploaded a vlog. No wonder my vlog file is exploding. Unlike my other vlogs, in this extended vlog I touched on:

Singapore’s Birthday - National Day Parade

Fort Siloso��

Party Poppers Singapore Event

You can view what goes on at the Party Poppers Singapore launch here. Get yourself some Party Popper while, you’re at it.

Cuauhtemoc, the Mexican Navy Ship exploration

Light bulb drink formation + popsicle

Photo taken from @ireviewureadsh instagram 

The white part is honey dew 🍈 The pink part is strawberry 🍓 The Orange part is rock melon

Instant hot pot testing

Cat Mario

Singapore American School Event

Museum Hopping - Trick Eye Museum, National Gallery Singapore and  Asian Civilisation Museum

Photo taken from @ireviewureadsh instagram 

For more photos like this, do follow me on instagram.

Ukulele and voice cover on帅到分手

In fact, there’s so much in that single video I even created a content page for you to hop around. You can view the content page here or in the description box of the video.

Vlog 5 & 6′s content page:

Attending the National Day Parade – 00:24

NDP (Dynamic Defence Display Part 1) - 01:16

NDP (Parade & Ceremony) – 01:52

NDP (Dynamic Defence Display Part 2) – 2:40

NDP (Show) – 3:08

NDP (Fireworks) – 6:10

Fort Siloso – 7:04

Sentosa Shots (Balloons) – 9:55

Party Poppers Lion Dance – 10:17

Exploring the Cuauhtemoc, the Mexican Navy Ship – 12:31

Instant Sichuan Mala Lazy Hot Pot Testing – 14:34

The formation of the light bulb drink + popsicle – 17:25

Cat Mario – 19:22

Singapore American School Event – 20:01

Trick Eye Museum Snippet 1 – 22:04

Museum Hopping - 22:25

Asian Civilisation Museum – 22:49

National Gallery Singapore; Yayoi Kusama: Life is the Heart of a Rainbow exhibition – 23:03

Trick Eye Museum Snippet 2 – 25:58

Short voice + Ukulele cover on帅到分手 (Shuai dao fen shuo) by NICKTHEREAL - 26:51

Why I don’t produce videos as often?

In simple terms, videos takes 3 times as long as a blog post would take. To breakdown each and every step I take when it comes to video production are: 

Plan script (Optional)

Rewatch some of the footages I have recorded 

Record videos - middle part

Edit videos

Plan narrative

Voice over

Search for suitable free to use music 

Record ukulele for start of the vlog and end of vlog

Write out subtitles

Trouble shoot videos 

Try to input subtitles in youtube and fail

Try again

Write out blog post

Edit cover photo for video - This step is where I edit the craziest stuff to produce the most outrageous photo for the video. I guess that’s why my vlog photos or should I say my video covers often look so bombastic. 

Rewatch video at least 3 more times to determine it’s perfect - In actual fact it’s 20 times. I can even memorize what’s in the video.

Figure out what tags to put

Figure out what to write in description box 

Search previous posts for the links

Figure out the title - immense difficulty

Finally post. 

Embedded video at the sidebar

Edit original video to become a short clip for marketing purposes. 

Add subtitle and other stuff in the short clip

Market through social media and other sites - Time consuming 

Participate in other discussion

Re-market if time permits

Do it all over again

All this takes over a week for I spend my mornings and afternoons doing other stuff. Yes, it is time consuming but I do hope with practice, I would find a way to reduce the time I take to edit and produce a video. 

The Cover for the vlog

Before we move away from the topic of the extended vlog, let me touch on the cover. The nutty cover with multiple me dancing every where and a godly me in the skies. These are all edited in microsoft powerpoint. Amazing! The idea for the cover is trying to incorporate everything in the vlog on the cover. That may be the reason why you can see so many things on my cover. Or should I say on most of my vlog covers. 

Confused is my middle name

Now back to the heart to heart part. For the past month, I’m sure you would have notice a lot more sponsored posts and such on my blog. First of all, I do try to keep a balance of sponsored and non-sponsored posts. However, because of the time constraint that sponsored posts have, I would have to publish them first. Thus, the influx. Do note that although these products, services and such were sponsored, I was genuine in my reviews. I guess the label ‘Note: All my opinion given here are my honest opinion on the product. The fact that it’s sponsored does not change my thoughts about it.’ is automatically applicable to all of my sponsored posts now.

I guess wrote this part as to not only resonate with you but myself on what I’m doing here. I’m blogging full time. Kind of. I mean while I’m waiting for my graduation, I’m blogging full time. Judging by how things are going, I should be doing this full time until the end of the year. Before I find a job and this go back to being a sideline again - let’s all assume people want to hire me.

Comic strip taken from This is 65

I’m not saying, I don’t see the possibility of blogging full time forever. I’m sure there’s hope. There’s a glimmer of light. On the other hand, my degree also costed 27K. Let’s at least try to put it to good use first while I’m young. 

Honestly, I feel that there’s so much to do and not enough time. For those of you who followed throughout the years, you would have know that I like to create side projects. I like to improve things. I like to be busy but I do not know how to judge how full is my plate. I would often pile too much until either I found that my heart is not fully in it or the stack falls over. It is only then I could see clearly what is important to me. This only happens when I’m confused and I’m at the crossroads of my life. I guess the reason as to why I blog so much is because I am running from reality. Putting finding a job off. I have issues. We all have issues. Procrastination and ignoring my issues seemed to be my move now. Not quite sure what my next move would be but it better be good. 

I should get my Sh*t together

Or I can fulfill my wish of being a writer and gather some more stuff for my portfolio. Or so I said. Who knows, I may even go mad and move abroad for a month. That doesn’t seemed like a bad idea right? I don’t know. The future seem so confusing for me. Nothing is set in stone. Everything is possible. I guess it all comes down to if you were to die tomorrow, what do you want to do today? I want to write. For writing never dies.

What now?

I’m trying to finish up what I’ve started. If you remember 2 months ago, I was following a pinterest course. Well. I was attending it halfway. Then, the influx of sponsors came. So, I didn’t finish it. It’s on hold, just like every other side projects in my life. Refer to point - I should get my Sh*t together - for this part. 

In attempts to get my life together, I’ve adopted the habit of incorporating daily yoga in my life. On top of that, I try to wake up at a reasonable time - between 11 to 3pm. I know it sounds ridiculous to call that reasonable time but it’s a huge step for me. As mentioned in my previous post, I sleep at 6am and get up at 2pm but it eventually became 4pm. Time just past so much faster when you wake up when the sun is down. I don’t know what logic is this but it just does. Thus, I’ve decided to lengthen time and experience daylight once again. 

Taken from Inspired By This Feeling Tumblr 

So I’m trying. Little by little, day by day. Additionally, I found a mantra. A simple mantra that made my day a little more positive everyday: 

Today is a good day 

By reminding myself that today is a good day, made me anticipate the day even more. It made me eager to do more things, to be more positive towards how I see things. I am not a very positive person, neither am I negative. I’m more of a meh person. Being the meh person it’s easy to roll into negativity because of the lack of feelings for everything. I don’t want that. I am sick of that. It comes to a point that I was merely surviving and not living. By choosing to live, I have to remind myself everyday why. I have to make an effort. I have to change. With this simple mantra, I am not only reminding myself to ensure that the day ahead is going to be a good day but it gave me the push as well. Although I do cave in to the procrastination monkey at times, I am currently winning the battle against negative Nancy.

I know that there are plenty of quotes out there saying “It’s ok to just breathe today.” For those taking it too hard on themselves, I do agree it’s a quote for them. Whereas for those with the procrastination monkey in them, this quote only ruins us. We keep reminding ourselves that it’s ok to just breathe and we simply do nothing. Sometimes, it’s not ok to just breathe and do nothing. At least not for me. Therefore, I’ve changed to recite this mantra in my head instead for it represents: 

At the start of the day: A positive outlook on the upcoming day

During the day: A gentle and constructive reminder that I should achieve more mini-goals to have the day deemed a good day. In simpler terms, I can’t just roll on my bed all day and wathc youtube videos and call that a good day. I have to actually do something. Be it something small like getting out of my house - I don’t go out much, so getting out is big for me - to writing a page in my journal. Yes, I’m still journalling. I’m looking for the right time to reintroduce my old and new pages on my social media. 

At the end of the day: A positive reflection on what you’ve done during the day

As of now, I’m seeing positive changes everyday. What about you? What’s your go to mantra/ quote?

It was a great 2 months

Mentioned above, IreviewUread have a busy 2 months. My blog posts were going up like rockets. For those of you who’ve missed it, here’s a run down of what I posted the last 2 months. 

Beauty:

Gobdigoun Skincare products review

Gobdigoun Masks review

Althea Sun-Kissed Box Review

Hiruscar Anti Acne Range Review

Food:

Loacker’s Cocoa and Milk wafers review

Others:

A Better Florist’s Flower arrangement workshop 

Baby Goodie Bag from Cradle of Love 

Printcious Intro 

Printcious Magnet Review  

Photo from 45cat

When you wish upon a star

Finally, the last section of this very long post. My wish list! The last time I wrote a wish list was on the blog that I had during secondary school. I graduated 2 times since and I’m approaching my 3rd graduation at the end of the month. I guess that depicts how much time have past. Is stating wish lists still in or is that just a thing of the past now? Either ways, here’s my ever changing wish list or should I say my goals list: 

Looking for hair salon sponsorship so that I can redye my hair - I have a distinct black and brown colour on the top halve and bottom halve of my hair

Source

This is my hair goals kind of hair. Or anything with purple and pink. I’m crazy about those two colours. I’m fine with red too but I’ve done red before so it’s time to try something new.

Will be heading to C3 Anime Festival Asia 2017 if nothing crops up - my plan is to cover  AFA and get some stuff. It’s been long since I’ve wandered into an anime festival. Yes, I’m a closeted Otaku. Ok Kind of. This is clearly a goal. Why is this here.

More cute stuff! I know this blog is not really cutisy kind but I do want to include that genre.

I guess that’s it. I’m more of a follow the wind and make a nest kind of person. So I do embrace whatever is thrown to me in a professional manner. Or at least I hope. 

That’s finally the end of this heart to heart session. Do watch my vlog if you have not and Namaste

Updated - 23 Dec 17

I finally did dye my hair purple/pink, you can see the post here and I went to C3 AFASG. It was so fun and you can view my vlog here. 

[u-wll-rmmbr-me-fr-centuries]

Some thoughts on the Terror attack. Considering everything London has been through, I think it can withstand some twat with a knife.

Also turns out I bought 4 books this week. #Productive.

Monday

Today has been a good day. I have the car. It’s called Elvis. Named after the CD that was left in there, but I think it’s a pretty cool name for a pretty cool car. The gear stick looks a little bit like a Pokemon ball, and there’s a sunroof. It’s pretty face and good for a first car, I have to admit.

I also bought 3 books from the charity shop. I couldn’t decide between the three, and they were all cheap so I thought why not? They’re also contemporary which I don’t normally read, so they will be interesting. Two are about memories and the other one is about a girl with Cerebral palsy, where she can’t move or speak. Because of this people confide secrets to her and one in particular – Dan. I feel as if this is going to be very emotional and most likely a secret of a murder. But that’s just my brain, it could be something completely different.

I Have No Secrets – Penny Joelson

The Only Memory of Flora Banks

The Memory Book

Tuesday

Today has been rather uneventful. Which sucks for a weekly review thing. Other than spending the whole four hours of my break reading a book that isn’t even out yet, nothing happened.  The story of how I got a book that isn’t even out yet is rather funny. And told above in Monday. It was actually pretty good for a contemporary, and definitely a book that you could have conversations about at midnight. And I ended up finishing it within 3 hours, meaning I had a whole hour to do nothing. So that was fun! Not.

Wednesday

This was mostly going to be about the trip to Brighton. However, I think the attack at London is the most important. Especially when there will be a blog post about Brighton up at some point this week – hopefully Friday.

It’s strange seeing videos of the attack. Seeing such a prominent and famous building, yet there’s a weird horrific scene going on. All of the eyes in the world turned to London and waited for her to respond. But she didn’t fall or cower. In fact, she stood up taller. She withstood the Blitz, attacks from the IRA, Great Fire, Black Plague- she would be fine.

I can’t express my gratitude for the work of the police force, ambulance force, just everyone who got involved. The way it has been handled and so quickly shows. It cannot be faulted. On Twitter I saw many americans saying that Theresa May took too long in her response, but as a Brit I can say that they’re wrong. She waited in order for more evidence to come through and for a plan to be established. As it is supposed to be an important speech to give the Londoners a sense of hope and justice, I don’t suspect she could just write a speech within 10 minutes. There were many unnecessary comments from Trump supporters especially, but it was quite apparent it wasn’t all Americans. It’s just annoying that they then become ‘tarnished’ because of those orange supporting idiots.

Thursday

Today I noticed a lot of flags half-mast. Ones in little villages in people’s backyards and the one that was most heartbreaking: the flag in front of the  country police station. I think it’s most painful knowing that they have lost a brother. They might not have met him but they are all feeling pain, knowing that each day they are going out to do their job and might not return.

And only now have I realised that all day I haven’t had any anxiety. After Paris and Brussels, I couldn’t get on a bus without having immense amount of paranoia. Even at College I was scared, and looking back it’s silly, but it was a real fear. Just getting myself a cup of water in my own home and standing in front of a window. Doing the most mundane and daily things caused me to be scared. Yet, now that there’s been attack on my own home land, I don’t feel any kind of anxiety at all. No fear, no panics, not trying to figure out where my closest exits are at all times. I think it’s because it was shown how well it’s been dealt with, in terms of police and ambulance, just every service available has really been amazing and responded so well. I know I am safe.

Friday

I’m sick of my family making comments about me driving. I’ve had four lessons, I struggle with anxiety and they knew that driving would be a daunting task for me. Yet all they do is laugh. It’s not funny. It actually makes me feel like shit. They knew it would be hard for me. Today I’m just angry and tired and dealing with that monthly girl problem.

Started reading, The One Memory of Flora Banks, and can easily say I’ve never read anything like it before.

Considering all events this week, it turns out that the attacker on the Parliament attack had stayed in a hotel in Brighton. What’s worse is that on Wednesday I was in Brighton and had actually gone past that hotel. I remember the sign. It’s scary thinking that I could’ve easily passed him and the car. It’s weird. I don’t remember seeing any car or person, I just remember the sign logo and the building. Funnily enough I didn’t think it would have been important enough to then taken in every detail.

Comic Relief thing, was on TV today. It’s usually this massive British event where celebrities and comedians do a live show that lasts like 8 hours and includes all kind of different guests doing stupid things for charity. I usually love these events but it was the worse one ever. I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m older or it was pure shite. Pretty sure it was the last one as normally I stay up and watch the whole thing. On a whole I enjoyed like 5 minutes of it. One of the good parts was that they got Ed Sheeran, which shouldn’t be a surprise because despite being one of the most popular artists in the world, he is the nicest guy. He went out to where there was starvation and all that trouble, and paid for 5 boys to be safe out in the city. He didn’t care how much, he just wanted to know that they will be somewhat safer than they already were. And if you look at the whole spectrum of celebrities that have been out there to raise awareness, how many have actually contributed? Apart from letting the charity use their face and name? That might be harsh and critical of celebrities, but this years total (so far) is…

£71,308,475

Saturday

Today I spent the day packing my books into boxes in order so we can move rooms. It took 5 massive cardboard boxes, all strategically packed to fit all my books. And that’s not including 6 or 7 books that I will need (once I finish this book, also college books yada yada…).

I also spent some time writing some upcoming blog posts as well as trying to think of some new ideas. I changed the sidebar to currently reading because I can. As us girls (three of us) will be moving into the bigger room, the parents had to then box up the boy’s room and Mum got close very close to losing it. Mostly because the 19-year-old was the messiest, yet blames it on the younger one.

Sunday

Mothers Day! I spent two hours DIYing Mum a last-minute card, and making the inside to be one of those cringey messages that’s made out of Take That song titles. Then I had seconds to get ready to go out to a lunch that had been reserved for us.

It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t the best. Starters of Garlic bread was good, but then again it’s hard to majorly fuck that up. For mains I had this chicken thing with sun-dried tomatoes on top and this sauce thing and then all wrapped in bacon. The problem was that chicken can be quite dry especially if it’s just a massive breast with nothing else. And then if you wrap that in bacon it’s even more so dry. There wasn’t any sauce and I had no idea what to ask for. Even worse I had a cider and it wasn’t fizzy. I’m not a big alcoholic drinker, I just like cider because it’s practically fizzy apple juice. And this didn’t taste fizzy. Or appley. Desert was the best. Chocolate cake. Nothing else I can say about it really.

We then took Elvis for his first ever car wash. £6 for a tiny car – can’t complain in my opinion. It was quite cool as he has 2 sunroofs and so we just all looked up and watched the bubble mixture slide on the glass.

And finally, to finish off the week we went to the shops and got stuff. (Wow, quality blog post information detailing.) Obviously I went to the book section and got Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. The lady at the counter told me a hundred times that it was a “tear-jerker” and I’m so glad she told me because I had no idea at all. It’s not as if everyone talked about it for three years straight and how it ruined their lives. Even one of the marketing campaigns on BookTube was sending that book and tissues.

20-26th March: London Terror Attack & Elvis Some thoughts on the Terror attack. Considering everything London has been through, I think it can withstand some twat with a knife.