#signed The Parallel Spotter

[instantpansies]

the parallels between kendrick wiping the floor with drake and the eagles wiping the floor with the chiefs are not lost on me

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie Meta 7x04 Part 3 (of 4)

Click here for part 1, part 2 or part 4.

Onto gay scene number four.

This is ONCE AGAIN a direct parallel to 2x01. Ya know, the gym scene where everyone was like "why is Buck puffing his chest and trying to look hotter and stronger than Eddie"? Tim Minear would have us believe it's because he was threatened by Eddie, but those of us with our third eye open all know the man was attracted to Eddie, and Eddie was attracted right back.

Even down to putting the extra weights on the lift machine, it's almost beat for beat the same Buck trying to get Eddie's attention, only this time they have six years of love and devotion under their belt. This peacocking isn't about trying to prove Buck is better than Eddie, and it's most definitely not about Tommy. Tommy isn't here, neither is he mentioned. The object of Buck's attention is purely Eddie. Buck wants Eddie to look over and notice him without a spotter and come running over to be his partner, and maybe he also wants Eddie to notice that Buck is also strong and capable and sexy. Y'all ever seen those mating rituals where the male tries to prove he's big and strong and interesting so that the female will choose him? Buck is trying to make himself appear sexier than Tommy, and in my opinion, there's no other way to read this scene than that.

He keeps looking to see if Eddie is noticing him, and when Ravi offers to be Buck's spot he shoos him away. What's also interesting is the framing of the camera. Eddie is positioned in the background between Buck's spread legs and his open arms. I'm not a filmmaker so I don't really know 100% what that means, but I just think it's an interesting choice to have Buck purposefully putting his crotch forward for Eddie to see, and keeping Eddie constantly in view only through Buck's spread arms and legs. Idk, it's givingggmmmgaysex. But what do I know?

Also keep in mind we (and probably Buck too) don't actually know who Eddie is talking to on the phone. We're meant to assume it's Tommy, but it could be Marisol, right? The last time Eddie had this kind of giggly little phone interaction it was in 6x18 with Marisol. But the show wants us to believe it's Tommy and to connect all of Eddie's actions with Tommy to being potentially romantic.

Buck specifically has a basketball delivered to the station instead of, you know, his home, in order for Eddie to notice that Buck is suddenly interested in basketball and invite him again to play with them on Thursday. And again, I don't blame Eddie for missing the signs here. Buck has made it clear multiple times in the past that he does not want to play basketball with the other firefighters. So why would Eddie suddenly assume he's interested now? Plus he's distracted on the phone, so he might not have even really fully processed what Buck said or the insinuation of wanting to play basketball on Thursday. Buck sits down completely rejected because his latest attempt to gain EDDIE'S ATTENTION (not Tommy's) has been foiled. But thankfully Chimney comes along and provides Buck another access point.

Even Chimney is confused as to why Buck suddenly wants to play basketball. His excuses are weak, and Chimney instantly clocks that Buck isn't really there to play basketball with him but because he's trying to get in with Eddie and Tommy. Whether or not Chimney knows that Buck's trying to do it for Eddie's attention is unknown. We know that he was partially around when Buck was blabbing to Maddie, but he may not have caught the full context.

Again, Buck is witness to how easily Tommy and Eddie touch, even though this in particular is much more "bro-y" than anything Buck and Eddie have ever done before. It's interesting that even though the episode is trying to show that the Tommy/Eddie relationship is similar to the Buck/Eddie relationship, there are still pointed times like this where the show still frames Tommy/Eddie as very very different, platonic-only, much more "bro-like" friendship.

This time however EDDIE is the one who calls Tommy "his boy!". Now we're finally getting the reversal of Tommy in Eddie's possessive. BUT this doesn't shift Eddie out of Tommy's possessive just yet. Instead, it is a mutual claim in conjunction with the rest of the scene that follows. So now it's not just a fear that Buck has that Eddie would choose Tommy over him, it's metaphorically come true. Now Tommy is Eddie's boy, and if that's the case, where does that leave Buck?

Eddie, as lovingly oblivious as always, is shocked to see Buck here and subtly showcases his own jealousy. It's not anywhere near on the same level, but it does show Eddie noticing that Buck never says yes to him to play basketball, but somehow Chim got him to come? It does show that Eddie is still thinking about Buck here and thinking about what Eddie wasn't able to do to convince him.

This little exchange shows yet another little way in which Tommy is encroaching on Buck's place with Eddie. The trope of "battlefield boyfriends" aka the two of them against the world. Tommy is extremely confident that he and Eddie will be able to beat Buck and Chim, and that rubs Buck the wrong way. Because up until now it's been BuckAndEddie against everyone else, and now it's TommyAndEddie. They're each other's "men". They're the team against Buck. Now it's become something hostile.

This is a poke at Buck because he figures out he's bisexual at the end of the episode. But it's also funny because back in the day there used to be a lot of talk around Eddie in particular having beards. Beards can be both a conscious or unconscious choice on the part of a queer person. For some people, they don't know they're using someone as a beard because they're still deep in compulsive heterosexuality. In my opinion, this description fits Eddie and Marisol best at this point in time. I'm not saying that this Chim line is about Eddie, but it does bring up the question of beards in canon and who/what might be considered a beard in the current storyline.

Buck, honey, Eddie was paying you so much attention here. He was trying to have a fun game of basketball game here, but Buck couldn't even let himself enjoy it because he couldn't get it out of his mind that Eddie wasn't on his team, that Eddie's playing against him, with Tommy.

Eddie says an interesting line here to Buck: "You ain't getting past me" and it's so true, Eddie. Buck is probably not ever gonna be able to move past his feelings for you, regardless of who he dates in the middle.

And then we have yet another directorial camera shot that mimics the same dynamic at the end of 7x03. Eddie is running forward, Buck is desperately following behind him, and Tommy's running behind both of them. This could be foreshadowing again how no matter how much Tommy might try, Buck will always be chasing after Eddie.

Something else interesting to me is how the Buck/Eddie body slam is similar to the Eddie/Tommy body slam. These "intricate rituals" queer men will have in order to find socially acceptable ways to touch each other. It also takes me back to earlier in the meta where I talked about men using fighting/physical violence as an excuse to touch each other, hence why wrestling is a homoerotic sport. I don't know what was going through Buck's head, but I do think he was trying in some way, to force back that physical touch with Eddie, and take it away from Tommy. And in a way, it does also feel like a punishment. Like Buck's trying to make Eddie feel bad for being this physical with Tommy. And yes, Buck was in the wrong here. He let his hurt and jealousy get the best of him here and hurt Eddie in the process.

I've seen people wonder why Buck wasn't freaking out about Eddie the way he has in the past. Well, one, this isn't a life or death scenario, and two, this is the first time it's ever been Buck's fault that Eddie's hurt. I think Buck's in shock. He's probably stunned and disgusted with himself and his desire to help Eddie is being hindered by extreme guilt, hurt, shame, and a whirlwind of other emotions he probably can't process in the moment. And that leads him to just stand still and watch instead of trying to help. He likely also thinks that Eddie wouldn't accept his help at this moment either. Buck does try to be the one who takes Eddie to the hospital, and likely would've apologized along the way. It could've been a good time for them to talk, to confront and work out the issue, but Tommy (once again) swoops in to be the one to help Tommy, effectively cutting off Buck's last chance to prove himself to Eddie.

Now, Buck's lost the last thing he can provide to Eddie over Tommy: safety, having his back, and being the one person he can always trust above all else. Buck probably thinks he's broken Eddie's trust and will lose him to Tommy for sure now. That's the kind of catastrophizing I can see him leaping to at this point in time.

Buck then does what he does best, and pulls away. Not because he doesn't care about Eddie, but because he's already accepted that he's lost Eddie.

Buck admits that this was a backward way of punishing Eddie, and Maddie rightfully puts him in his place for that. But then again, Maddie is speaking from a place of knowing what it's like to be physically abused (not saying this is abuse but it does still inform Maddie's perspective). Buck however is acting not from a place of an abuser or actually wanting to hurt someone, but from a place of living his whole life only knowing one way of getting people's attention. And for the longest time, that method involved hurting himself. And this time when hurting himself wasn't an option, it ended up coming out as hurting Eddie. Again, I am not trying to condone or excuse Buck's actions, but I am trying to provide a reason so we're not out here writing a million think pieces and fics about how Buck is suddenly a horrible physically abusive person (we're NOT having a repeat of the way y'all treated Eddie after the streetfighting arc). He made a mistake and obviously, he's going to apologize to Eddie and sincerely understand his actions were absolutely not it in the next episode. So, just like we're giving Eddie some grace here, let's give Buck some grace too. Moving on.

Maddie does have a point, and she's right in a lot of ways, however, she, as a (as far as we know) straight woman, is coming at this from the perspective of being "friend-jealous" which we all know is disproven for Buck less than 10 minutes later. This talk with Maddie does give Buck good advice, but at the same time, I do believe it's likely confused him further. Because now he believes that the way he was feeling was normal best friend jealousy feelings when they really were not. Her advice is solid but doesn't really push Buck to think deeper about why all of a sudden he felt like Eddie making a new friend was the end of the goddamn world. And she can't really know to push him in that direction because she's operating under the assumption that Buck is straight. But he's not. They're both missing fundamental information here and without that, Buck still cannot truly process the depth of his feelings. I think this is a large part of why when Tommy comes over and kisses him in the next scene, Buck finds it very easy to glom onto the "out of nowhere" notion that the reason he was acting this way the entire episode is because he wants Tommy. It's very well true that Buck could've been experiencing physical attraction and an infatuation/crush on Tommy, but now, with Maddie's misinformed permission, switches targets and projects all of his big bi feelings onto Tommy.

Buck is surprised Tommy came over, the audience and Buck both expect Eddie to be standing on the other side of the door. Tommy seems like a very observant character. He picks up on Buck's queerness (and likely Eddie's) and picks up on why Buck has been acting out of character the whole episode. Buck owns up to his actions and admits that yes, Tommy and Eddie can be friends and Eddie can have more than one friend.

We then get an acknowledgment from Tommy that actually when he spends time with Eddie and Chris, the two of them talk about Buck a lot. Eddie isn't specifically mentioned, but it's implied that Eddie has told Tommy a lot about Buck if Tommy already knows that Buck is an irreplaceable part of both their lives. It's also funny because the last time someone said this, it was Buck trying to reassure Christopher that none of his dad's girlfriends would ever replace his mom. This once again firmly places Buck in the category of an irreplaceable parent for Christopher.

This is another callback to season 3, the last time Buck and Eddie fought over the lawsuit, and Buck "making it about himself". This is a consistent character flaw in Buck, and at least now all of the characters can recognize it for what it is. It's also a callback to the 3x09 scene "You're gonna make it about you? again?" But see the thing is, I don't really think Buck was making Tommy and Eddie's friendship about him. I think he was hit with a rush of fear of missing out on what he and Eddie could be, and because he still didn't have the words to explain what exactly that meant, it came out in the only way he could think to communicate it: through trying to get Eddie's attention like a little kid pulling a girl's pigtails. It's unhealthy, yes, but it's all Buck really knows at this point.

Tommy admits that he was also jealous, not exactly of Buck and Eddie, but of the 118 and how they've built an unbreakable family bond that only came to be right after he left. Tommy wanted to be a part of that, and oh boy, if that's something Buck can relate to. The specific black hole craving to find a family that accepts you.

And I absolutely believe that Buck is curious about Tommy, does want to be his friend, and does think he's super cool and probably thinks he's super hot and attractive as well. But the vibe I'm getting here is that Buck is seeking out in Tommy what he craves from Eddie.

Go to part 4 for the last part I swear!!

Part 4. Part 1, Part 2.

[stackkly]

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[fandomgodmother420]

Okay so I saw

This post ^^

And I was like

Wait wait wait okay okay hang on wait a damn minute-

Because this is cursed rite we all know this is cursed but somethin about it got me thinkin it got me thinking quite a lot and it’s the idea of Callahans character being deaf and like obviously the way it’s done here is bad but it got me thinking okay well what if you did it well? What if it wasn’t garbage? What if it became a super important part of the show?

I think I have a new favorite au now?

Okay listen listen let me explain right-Callahan would still be a side character to the side characters but first things first he’d talk using sign language and literally the first thing that he signs when people try and talk to him is that he’s deaf. He also wouldn’t be able to understand people who talk to him, they’d have to either sign, write something down, or be super expressive. (Ik a lot of deaf people read lips but I feel like in media with deaf people almost all the time they like fully rely on lip reading and their almost superhumanly good at it and idk I think it would be cool for a deaf character to just not lip read-hardly ever) so now the fact that he’s deaf isn’t just something that you can drop in interviews for brownie points. Still, he’s hardly ever there and he’s not really a part of the story and that’s just kind of annoying and for a while it seems like that’s just how it’s gonna be, just one background background deaf character who’s pretty cool but who we almost never get to see...

But the explosions that went off during the pogtopia manburg war where pretty fuckin loud

And Quackity was right on top of them. He might’ve lost a cannon life to them-it’s kinda up for debate but for the purpose of the au we’re gonna say he did, because losing a cannon life affects your body. Your body changes to suit how you died-you get scars from losing a cannon life.

Here’s where it gets good

One of the next episodes post war is 100% Quackity focused and he wakes up in a bed and he’s like welp lets just hope I’m not as bad off as Tubbo was. There’s no rustling noise when he moves the sheets and blankets to look at himself, at this point the viewer might realize there’s no music in the background either, there’s no ambient noises from outside. Quackity sees he doesn’t have visible scaring anywhere and he’s like that’s weird but good for me? I guess? He walks outside and his footsteps don’t make any noise. Tubbo runs up to him and starts talking-except he’s not making any noise either. His mouth is moving but there’s no sound coming out of it. Both quackity and the viewer are currently experiencing what’s going on in 100% silence and Quackity starts to panic. A scar would’ve been fine, a limb he can live without, but this??? He can’t hear! He can’t hear anything! Fuck is he supposed to do now?

He runs to Sapnap and Karl, they’re not dating yet but they make him feel safe and he doesn’t know where else to go or what to do and Sapnaps like “I know a guy” but neither the audience nor Quackity hears him say it. His mouth moves but again, no sound. Nothing. Still he makes it clear that he has an idea and that he’ll be right back. Mans fuckin books it to Callahan and after a bit of frantic gestures and sloppy sign language because ya know of course Sapnap did try to learn sign to talk to Callahan at some point he just doesn’t practice nearly enough, Callahan comes over to Quackity and starts teaching him and Karl ASL and gives Sapnap a much needed review course.

That’s it. That’s the episode. An entire episode that’s 100% silent with no subtitles, that’s just Quackity learning how to function without being able to hear. In the places where Callahan can’t help Sapnap and Karl come in. Tubbo gets in on it too since he’s deaf in one ear ever since the festival. (Quackitys like damn cheif I didn’t even kno that and Tubbo admits to thinking it was just him being in shock for a long time until a bee flew around his ear for 20 minutes straight a week after the festival had happened and he didn’t know it was there until Tommy asked if he was gonna name it.) Quackity learns how to talk when he can’t hear himself speaking, how to read lips, what music is like when you can’t hear it, how to speak sign language, all that jazz.

One of the things about being deaf that scares the shit out of Quackity is not being able to hear people sneaking up on him and Tubbos like “oh you need a spotter” and Quackity makes it clear that he has no idea what the fuck that means. So Tubbo explains “a spotter, I don’t know if they actually have a different name but I call them that cuz they cover your blind spot. They’re like your eyes and ears where you don’t have any. That way nobody can sneak up on you.” If the audience is particularly observant they’ll realize that ever since the festival Tommy has always stood on Tubbos right, witch is where Tubbo had gotten scarred. (Later on after Tommy’s exiled Quackity and sometimes Fundy become the ones to cover Tubbos right, but Tubbo is more clearly on constant high alert than he used to be. On a few days like the one before the capturing techno and the one before the second festival he’s straight up jumpy and he hates it) So Quackity of course has a lot of questions is this is pretty important. “well how do I know who I should get to be my spotter? Do they need like training or something? Should I just get a service dog? ???” And Tubbos like “No. Well-maybe that’s the proper way to do it but I’d just go with someone I trust my life with-whoever makes you feel safest, go with that” and Sapnap and Karl start laughing like idiots because Quackity IMMEDIATELY grabs them-like Tubbos barley finished his sentence and Quackitys like ah yes

The hardest part is preserving Quackitys ability to speak Spanish, because he’s the only one who knows it so Karl Sapnap and Tubbo can’t tell him weather he’s pronouncing it right or not and none of them know Spanish sign language. Hell Karl and Tubbo didn’t even know Spanish sign language existed until that day. After a bit of panicking Sapnap is like “wait I know a guy” and Quackity can actually tell what he’s saying this time. (Woo parallels) So sapnap and Co. go to George who’s king now and has access to all of Erets king stuff. Turns out Erets castle has a whole shelf of translation guides for different languages and their sign language counterparts. She kept them for diplomacy reasons. It’s much harder to learn without Callahan teaching it, but progress is made and the gang decides they’ll keep working on learning it together. There’s still the problem of Quackity not being able to speak Spanish though, they end up going with does Quackity sound like how he normally does rn? for figuring out if he’s pronouncing things right. Karl and Sapnap are surprisingly good at being able to tell.

But here’s the best part rite:

So after this episode Quackity, Karl, Sapnap, Tubbo, and obvs Callahan all know sign language-they don’t all know it perfectly nobody’s gonna master it in a day but they’re working on it. And so now in later episodes in addition to the gang talking in sign language a lot when they’re the focus of a scene, you can make them talk to eachother in sign language while other stuff is going on!! No subtitles to translate or draw attention to it, some people might not even notice its happening, but if you watch them you can see them signing to eachother. You could add so many convos and lore and secrets and the best part is if the audience wants in on it they also have to learn sign language!!

Literally just-oh my god it would be the coolest thing okay like immagine:

Ranboos doing his dramatic speech to everyone. Y’all know the one-the one before doomsday after Tommy gets out of exhile. So like Ranboos doing his bit and Fundy and Nikki are arguing with him and :0! what’s this? Look in the background and Tubbo and Quackity are signing to eachother, Quackitys angry and Tubbo is somehow angrier and you watch them more closely to see what the hell is going on and realize (with your sign language knowledge)-they’re fighting about executing Ranboo.

LIKE HOW FUCKING COOL WOULD THAT BE HOLY SHIT

Anyways I have so many headcannons for this now I think it’s the coolest thing if there’s like a tag? Or something? For this thatd be so fuckin cool if there isn’t I feel like I should make one but idk what to call it ion know man I just think this is poggers as hell. To think it all sprung from someone making a DreamSMP as a garbage riverdale show joke

[krishnaakhavan-blog]

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[theodorebennas]

CONCEPT: Evil AU Bennas. What would that look like?

Oh! There are so many ideas I’ve considered for an Evil AU Bennas. I’ll list my top two, describe them, and do a small blurb for each.

1. The Arch-Heretic

One of the key points of Theodore Bennas’ character is his faith in the Light. The other his faith in those around him. Now what happens when they are subverted? When everything he put his trust in fails or worse: turns against him? Perhaps Theodore is of such determination to do good and to love the people of Stormwind that he remains resolute. Here, he does not. Instead, Lord Theodore Bennas dies in the ashes of his home and is reborn as Theodore Bennas, Lord of the Screaming Abyss, a knight that weaves the Void as well as he once wielded the Light.

All was calm and still in Summerfast as Theodore knelt amidst ash and rubble. Too late. He cursed in his own mind. He had come too late. Royal censure had come to where the Gryphon Lord roosted and taken everything. Homes were cinders, shops rubble, and even the Theodorian Walls that could have stood another thousand years or more was a bombed out, burned out husk. A beautiful town that had taken over 1,200 years to build had been reduced to ashes in days. But Theodore did not look. His eyes stared firmly into the dirt. Tears bit at his edges of his eyes even as he wordlessly commanded their retreat. Tears flowed even as he blinked them back in silently fury. Tears came. As his fingers dug purposelessly in the ash and soot, they tensed as they found purchase on something soft. He pulled and stared. A child’s doll. Then he wept.

“I...justed wanted something to believe in.” He whispered aloud as those soft, clear belied the maelstrom of stark grief, chilling despair, and burning fury that burned in the man’s heart. His stomach ached as he let himself fall into that deep drop of despair. The Lord dropped forward and defied the silence of the corpse city with tears.

Then, another sound joined his orchestra of grief. A sultry voice whispered softly and tenderly into his ear, “I can help.” His blood chilled in his veins as his head shot in the same direction he heard the voice, “Ann? Ann’belyn? No, it cannot b-“ He cringed as his mind sought to recall the innotation. The shields that guarded his mind had come down long ago.

“We can help. We can help.” Came more voices. The town clerk, Sergeant Dupree of the First Cavalry Regiment, Summy, so many others. The Lord grit his teeth and shut his eyes and thrust his right hand out to the side . His fingers gripped Libertas’ hilt tight as they all fell silent.

His breathing was slow as he rose back upright. And then stepped back onto his feet. His breathing slowed as he felt the indigo flash of light appear in his hand. His armor a rich purple instead of blue and trimmed ebon instead of gold, “I suppose you can.” He answered aloud, calmly.

2. The Politician

Now, this Bennas is a far less overtly evil than his Void-y counterpart. This Bennas is purely political animal. Theodore Bennas is a man of the people, some have said. He strongly believes in uplifting the common man as his record shows this. But what if his political career took a darker turn? What if during Legion with one King dead and a young one viewed with suspicion, Theodore leveraged political life to his advantage? What if he was much more popular than he ever was in the original timeline? Political rivals were harassed by armed mobs paid by Lord Bennas. Riots in support of Lord Bennas’ policies tore through the streets of Stormwind’s capital. Even guards had been bribed to ignore the pleas of Bennas’ enemies. Likewise, he made deals with his rivals when it benefitted him. In truth, much good was done for the people but moreso for Bennas, now walking through Stormwind surrounded by armed gladiators, to gain political and financial capital. It all comes to a head at one rally.

Theodore raised a hand to greet the now cheering crowd, on their feet, as he finished his speech on the latest bill before the House of Nobles. One he has authored himself. He turned to walk from the stage only to face one of his closest confidants holding a crown in his hands.

The High Magistrate’s eyes widened as the crowd fell silent as they watched on as the young man held the crown out to him. Theodore’s fingers wrapped around the golden headpiece most certainly a crown and by all measure fit for a king.

On a distant rooftop, a sniper took aim at the young paladin. Not for his head but his heart. She inhaled and steadied her breathing, inhaling as her index finger curled around the rifle’s trigger.

“Not yet.” Her spotter, a senior agent, growled, “Once he puts the Crown on. Let them see what happens to pretender kings.”

The sniper acquiesced but did not lower her rifle. She let her finger retreat so it was parallel to the trigger.

Theodore showed no signs of misgiving but serene confidence as he eyed the crown and then the crowd, “My colleague thinks me a fit soverign.” He began, “And I have heard dissatisfaction towards our young King.” He raised the crown high and then let it drop not onto his head but onto the wooden platform beneath him, “But I disagree. My duty is to the People and the King as long as he serves the people. How then could I turn against a King who has not turned against his people and then claim that I serve the people?”

His speech was cut off with the booming cheers of the crowd around him. Appluading, whooping, and hollering. “Bennas! Bennas!” The sniper lowered her rifle in annoyed disbelief.

(Thanks for the ask @latildarommel )

[thehowtostuff-blog]

Larger than cars and smaller than semi trucks, vans are a perfect solution for people who need to transport a lot of things but still want to use a relatively cheap and compact vehicle. Whether you’re renting a van or using your own, knowing some simple rules of the road will help keep you and everyone around you safe.

EditSteps

EditGetting Ready to Drive

Adjust your seat and mirrors. Move your seat until you can reach the pedals comfortably while still seeing all your mirrors. Adjust your mirrors so that you can clearly view the adjacent roads and just a small amount of the van’s edge. Since they’re designed to hold cargo, many vans do not include a rear-view mirror, making your side mirrors more important.[1]

Some vans have extendable side mirrors designed for people carrying trailers. When using this feature, adjust the mirrors so that when the van and trailer are perfectly aligned, you can see a tiny bit of the trailer.

Familiarize yourself with the dashboard. Unlike semi trucks, most modern vans have similar dashboards to cars. However, the gauges and icons may look or be arranged differently, so take some time to learn their design and placement. Keep an eye out for features specific to larger vehicles, like multiple gas tanks, or modern vehicles, like dashboard cameras.

If you have trouble figuring out what different gauges or icons represent, consult your user manual.

Load your cargo evenly and secure it with bungee cords. Many vans, especially cargo vans, are built to accommodate large packages and bulky furniture. When packing multiple items, distribute weight as evenly as possible between the front, rear, left, and right sides of the van. To keep items from shifting during transit, hold them in place with bungee cords strapped to the van’s interior hook holes.

Stay under the weight limit. If you’re hauling cargo, make sure whatever you pack stays within your van’s hauling limit. This will prevent potential auto damage and ensure the van drives correctly. This number is typically listed in your van’s user manual. If you cannot find the number, search the van’s model online or contact the dealership you purchased or rented it from.[2]

Acquire van insurance or certification if necessary. If you are borrowing or renting a van, make sure you purchase temporary insurance for the time you intend to use it. Depending on your area and the size of the van, you may need to apply for local or state certification before legally driving the vehicle. To check if your area requires such certification, contact your local branch of the Department of Motor Vehicles.[3]

Practice driving the van in empty parking lots and small streets. Vans can be difficult to adjust to, so take some time to practice your driving skills before actually heading out on the road. Empty parking lots and small, unoccupied streets are perfect places to test how the van accelerates, brakes, and turns without putting yourself and others in unnecessary danger.[4]

EditDriving Safely

Drive with 2 hands firmly on the wheel. No matter what vehicle you’re using, it’s important to keep 2 hands on the wheel at all times. To give yourself maximum control, imagine that your steering wheel is a clock and keep your hands at the 9-o’clock and 3-o’clock positions. This is particularly important for vans because, if you don’t keep a firm grasp on the wheel, you could lose control of the vehicle and cause a rollover.[5]

Leave extra space between you and other vehicles. Vans are heavier and bulkier than normal cars, meaning they take longer to brake. To account for this, leave more space than normal between yourself and other cars. As a general rule, leave at least 4 seconds of distance between you and the car in front of you.[6]

To calculate how far behind a car you are, wait until the car passes a clear object or road marker. As soon as it does, count how many seconds it takes until you pass that same object.

Obey van specific speed limits. Depending on the area and the exact size of the vehicle, your van may be subject to special speed restrictions different from the posted speed limit. In most cases, this will be per hour lower than the max for standard cars. To see if an area you’re traveling in enforces van-specific speed limits, contact the local Department of Motor Vehicles or search online for local driving regulations.[7]

Slow down more than normal when approaching turns. Vans are tall and narrow, which means they’re more prone to tipping over. Though not usually a problem on straight paths, this can make turning more precarious. To minimize the risk of tipping, slow down to around per hour before making sharp turns.[8]

Make wide turns. To avoid colliding with curbs, road signs, and other vehicles, make sure your van is positioned in the left or right-most lane, depending on which direction you need to turn. Make sure other vehicles are far enough away from the van that you won’t side sweep them when turning. Then, make your turn, waiting until you are far enough into the intersection that your vehicle’s back end won’t hit other cars.[9]

Check your mirrors before backing up or changing lanes. Before changing lanes or backing up, put on your blinkers to indicate your intentions. Then, check all your mirrors for other cars and pedestrians. If your cargo van has a clear back window, turn your head and look through it to make sure there are no cars in your blind spot.[10]

If necessary, get out of your van to check the surroundings before backing up.

Be cautious before going under bridges and other low ledges. Though vans are not as large as semi trucks, they are significantly taller than normal cars, meaning they may not be able to go under bridges and ledges other vehicles can. Before going under a low ledge, check the clearance sign on top to see if your van is short enough to fit underneath. Do not go under ledges that are lower than your vehicle.[11]

Most major bridges are tall enough to accomodate semi trucks, so look out primarily for old, small-town bridges and clearance poles at places like gas stations and fast food restaurants.

EditParking Properly

Park in large, open spots and designated areas. Vans are typically longer than standard cars and require more room to park. When pulling into traditional parking lots, look for areas on the side of the lot where you can parallel park, open areas with multiple spots you can occupy, or areas sectioned off for large vehicles. If none of these areas are available, use your best judgement and either park carefully, wait for an opening, or find another lot.

Back into parking spots to make getting out easier. Whenever possible, you should back into parking spots instead of pulling into them. To do this, pull in front of the parking spot, brake, and put your car in reverse. Scan your mirrors to make sure the area is clear, then turn your wheel toward the spot and gently release your brake pedal. Slowly back your van into the parking spot, readjusting your vehicle as necessary.[12]

Place a spotter or traffic cone behind the vehicle to make backing up easier.

Parallel park when normal spots aren’t available. Find a space large enough for your van and park next to the car in front of it. Then, put your van in reverse and release the brakes. When your side window is lined up with the car’s back bumper, turn your steering wheel toward the parking space and back into it. Once your car is at a 45-degree angle, turn your steering wheel away from the parking space and back up until you’re completely in the parking spot.[13]

Apply your parking brake. Vans are far larger and heavier than most vehicles, meaning they’re more prone to rolling while parked. To avoid this, make sure to apply your parking brake whenever you’re not inside the vehicle. Most parking brakes are controlled via a pedal below the steering wheel or a lever near the shift controls. If you have trouble finding the parking brake, consult the van’s user manual.[14]

To avoid damaging the vehicle, only apply the brake when the van is in park.

Remember to release the parking brake before driving.

EditSources and Citations

EditQuick Summary

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from How to of the Day https://ift.tt/2KAm2cI

[aguadillaiceskatingarena]

12 Hidden Athens Gems Spotted by Locals

What is it that makes Athens special to live in and experience on a day-to-day basis?

If you ask our Spotters, that would be the unpretentious Mediterranean-meets-Oriental tsipouro and meze bars/restaurants; the indie cinemas (always playing movies in their original language with Greek subtitles); it’d be the sidestreets in the centre that so delicately strike the balance between decline, neglect, vitality and reappropriation, or the great weather that makes exploring in the city a joy of its own.

Here are some of our picks for some of the most unique, locals gems in Athens, in the words of our very own team of Spotters.

Stunning views from atop a neglected secret Aghios Ioannis Park (by Nikos Palavitsinis)

Well, this kind-of park isn’t the best choice for a walk, but it has a breathtaking view! It is located behind the Aghios Ioannis Metro Station (red line) and it’s quite steep, which makes it almost impossible to climb, apart from a small path that was made a long time ago and runs through it. Along the path, you will find pensioners playing backgammon and chess in groups!

It’s quite neglected but it’s charming in its state of decay. It’s really interesting to walk around and see the houses built on the other side of the hill, as most of them look like village houses, although built in the center of Athens. Don’t visit after nightfall, just to be on the safe side.

The view from Aghios Ioannis Park is one of the best in Athens, although the surrounding area and the park could be preserved a bit better! —Nikos Palavitsinis

Athens urban street life distilled, complete with bikes Melanthiou Street (by Andreas Papadopoulos)

There is a small street called Melanthiou in the area of Psiri, in the centre of Athens. In the last few years, this area transformed from a drug area into a cyclists’ joint. One of the pioneers of this movement is Welsh Gareth Jones, who came from London to open a bike store here.

At Melanthiou street you will find everything and everyone who has ties to biking philosophy in the city: the bike store VCA, Handlebar cafe, the Bondex cyclist couriers, along with Silver 925 graffiti store and creative design studio Pi6. You can come and drink your coffee while your bike is being fixed or eat something at very low prices. The best time to visit Melanthiou street is in the evening, when people are gathered at small tables by the road and it all creates a single company.

With a bike or not, take a break at this spot during your city walk in Athens’ center. You will probably meet me here while I’m fixing my bike again. –Andreas Papadopoulos

A century-old house turned bar Syntrimi (by Dimitris Hall)

My very first time at Syntrimmi, I discovered its mini-atrium that could very well be the foyer to my personal heaven. I returned for their literally unbeatable wine & coffee prices. Then I went back for their super-welcoming environment for quiet work in the afternoons. Then I went back for their music choices which fit my taste like a glove (Ibrahim Maalouf, Yes, Django Rheinhardt)…

Syntrimmi has become my favourite spot in the city!—Dimitris Hall

Super-local lunch dead in the centre Biftekares (by Nikos Palavitsinis)

If all my articles for Spotted by Locals were a crown, this would be the crown jewel! I am so proud to introduce this place, as this is something that merely 1% of Greeks know about! Biftekares is a really small spot, with 6-7 tables, mainly outside, overlooking Syntagma Square. The old man that owns it prepares 4-5 dishes, like delicious burgers, small pizzas of his own making, French fries, omelet, Greek salad and sausages. That’s it!

Keep in mind that once you locate the building, you just go in and take the elevator to the 9th floor. No signs there, no nothing. Even the doorman won’t let you know about the canteen.

This is probably the best hidden secret of Syntagma! —Nikos Palavitsinis

Large botanical garden few Athenians know about Diomidous Botanical Garden (by Pantelis Mavrodopoulos)

The Diomidous Botanical Garden is the largest botanical garden of the eastern Mediterranean. It was founded in 1952, and in 1975, after completion of landscaping, it was opened to the general public. In its area of 470 acres you can find trees and bushes can be found from all over the world, as well as plants mentioned in Greek mythology and history, like the myrtle of Aphrodite and Socrates’ hemlock.

If properly prepared, you can have a picnic under the shade of the trees, in one of the outdoor monastery-type tables, where you can meet other groups or families (or even me?) rolling around on the grass. —Andreas Papadopoulos

Festival cinema with bar attached Mikrokosmos (by @miss_psipsina)

Call it a cinema, call it a bar. Personally, I can’t really decide what it is, since I use it as both.

Film festivals of every kind take place here during the year while the normal selection of the films featured in Mikrokosmos is of the best kind and from all over the world. But as I said, there is also the bar!

I’ve spent hours laughing dead to the endless jokes of the owner and his wife. While sitting at the bar staring at the Tom Waits wallpaper in the back, I sometimes even forget I want to go home… —Margarita Kalogeropoulou

Best street food in Athens? Feyrouz

If you are wandering around Athens and are looking for street food, there is a place you should not miss! In the hyped, central neighborhood around Aiolou Street, you can have the most tasty lechmatzoun of the city! Mrs Feyrouz, who comes from Antioch in Turkey, bakes the lechmatzoun, and her sons, Andreas and Savvas, serve them. But most of all they create a gastronomic tour for you! They have a story to tell you about every delicious dish their mother makes and they share this story with you.

Since the very first time I visited Feyrouz I have visited them again and again. Not only because of how gastronomically happy they make me but also because you can feel that this family runs their small business with love for food and also love for the tradition that is related to their food!

Feyrouz was voted as the best place for “street food” in Athens and we are really proud of them! —Marilena Salamanou

Art and drinks at the old train To Traino sto Rouf

To Traino sto Rouf (‘The Train in Rouf’) is a well preserved old train in its natural environment, a train station. Theatrical plays, music performances and art exhibitions take place in the train wagons. The theater wagon is reformed as a theatrical scene, the wagon bar, with its wooden decoration and low lights creates a mysterious, retro atmosphere, while the restaurant wagon is as if taken from those old time movies, where so many things could happen on a train…

The schedule varies from season to season. In the summer you can have a drink of wine on the platform and in winter you can dine in the wagon restaurant, experiencing a unique atmosphere. Feels like you are in a movie… Anna Karenina maybe? —Sofia Skioti

The city’s most exciting overgrown stream Rema Pikrodafnis (by Dimitris Hall)

Among the blocks of flats, the avenues and the urban “growth” lies a different kind of growth. One that seems to be frozen in time together with its surroundings.

Rema Pikrodafnis is one of the few remaining relatively untouched streams in Athens. You can see the areas it runs through by clicking here. Polluted waters, illegal dwellings tacked on the stream itself, an overgrowth of reeds everywhere… It’s a forgotten, completely different world. You’ll find such things as chicken coops, tin shacks, tortoises, frogs and great views over the stream from the winding, labyrinthine roads that run parallel to it. Some might say it’s not an interesting sight and might wonder why anyone would want to visit a place such as it. I for one love this seemingly abandoned part of the city and really think it’s a symbol of the part of Greece a lot of people choose to forget. —Dimitris Hall

Innovative Greek concept store Graffito

Since Graffito opened its doors in 2012, it has been supporting new Greek entrepreneurs while bringing first-class design from all over Europe and the world. If you’d like to explore what Greek creativity and design has to offer, this is your spot. From deli to fashion, this place gathers some of the most up and coming Greek brands.

I love it for gift shopping, cause simply I can find special gifts for everyone here — from my parents to my best friend and even my dog. Moreover, there is a coffee shop inside the store which is ideal for getting a break from shopping with an espresso and some delicious cake. —Angeliki Georgokosta

Fertile breeding ground for upcoming creatives Neon Raum (by Aigli Andritsopoulou)

Upcoming creatives have finally found the right space to showcase their art in the urban core. Neon Raum is more than just another showroom and photography studio promoting Greek designers, it is a fertile breeding ground for artists and hoarders of unique moments of collaborative artistic practice, who have the need to express themselves and unlock their creativity by being part of a community that speaks a global language.

Innovative ideas by colourful individuals make Neon Raum the city’s hub of a limitless world of fashion, art and culture focusing on the beauty in the process.

Extra tip: Before you visit, check Neon Raum’s Facebook page for any popup events. Join their Sunday specials and get the chance to chit-chat with the designers while brunching in Raum’s sunbathed loft. —Aigli Andritsopoulou

Indie-underground apartment Velvet Room (by The Callas)

Velvet Room is an actual room, a very typical central Athens apartment which has been turned into a live music, performance, art, party and seminar venue. When there aren’t any events taking place, Velvet Room is the studio of the band The Callas.

I mostly go there for the music. It hosts some of the best local gems as well as international artists. Some of my favorite acts like Chickn, Kid Flicks, Victory Collapse and Angelos Kyriou have played there.

Don’t miss the opportunity to get a glimpse of the Athens indie – underground scene. —Angeliki Georgokosta

For more hidden gems, check out the Spotted by Locals Athens cityblog.

Source Article

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[fitnessmega]

The Best 3 Exercises To Build A Wide Back!

Back Exercises

Wide Back Exercises

You may have been preparing your back hard for a couple of years, utilized the greater part of the specific back projects, however you are no place close to the back improvement. In this article, we present to you three activities to increment back width extensively and fabricate a wide back. This program comprises three sections. The initial segment is doing close hold turn around pulldowns done on a Hammer Strength machine, which is proposed to focus on the lats and the upper back. The seconds part is doing overhand grasp twisted around barbell lines, expected to put on mass. The third part is doing situated link columns, proposed to add thickness to the teres major and the rhomboid muscles.

1. Sledge Strength Reverse Pulldowns 

Picture result for Hammer Strength Reverse Pulldowns life systems The principal practice are the pulldowns done on the Hammer Strength machine. You can uninhibitedly switch them up with pulldowns on a standard pulldown machine. The variety done on the Hammer Strength machine reproduces a significantly more regular development of the back muscles. When dealing with the standard pulldown machine you are essentially pulling the heap down in a vertical line. Getting the handle with a nearby hold gives a superior extend to the lats and the switch grasp takes away the weight from the biceps, guaranteeing that your lats are better fortified. Before you begin with the working sets complete a few warm-up sets. Next, get yourself in the beginning position by snatching the bar or handles with a nearby and turn around grasp, twist your elbows somewhat, which will put a more prominent weight on your lats instead of the biceps and begin pulling down. Concentrate on your lats when pulling. Respite to get a full constriction at the base position and afterward begin discharging the heap upward in a controlled and ease back way to accomplish a smooth development. Never overarch your back and move in reverse too far since that way you'll be restricting the scope of movement. Select a weight where you will achieve muscle disappointment at the eighth rep, and in the event that you have a spotter behind you, attempt to complete a few more constrained reps.

2. Overhand grasp twisted around barbell columns 

Picture result for Overhand grasp twisted around barbell columns Twisted around barbell lines have been praised as basic bulk manufacturers and as it should be. Dorian's style of execution is associated with all the diverse regions of the back. He does them with an overhand grasp, with his hands snatching the bar at bear width and his body situated at around 70-degree edge to the ground. The larger part of jocks do them with their middles parallel to the ground and by maneuvering the barbell into their chest. Be that as it may, on the off chance that you need to specifically hit the lats and lift as much weight as you can, 70 degrees is simply the best edge to position in. At that point, simply pull the barbell upward from the beginning raise it to your midsection.

3. Situated Cable Rows 

Picture result for Seated Cable Rows Complete the exercise with two or three warm up sets and 3 work sets comprising of 8-10 reps of situated link pushes by utilizing a long bar. Utilize and overhand hold at bear width to add thickness to the rhomboids and the teres major. You can somewhat lean forward while starting the development to show signs of improvement extend in the lats. Bring your elbows outward and the bar to the upper stomach muscle territory or to the lower chest region. When you pull your elbows back the extent that you can, it causes you to better fortify your upper back and to achieve crest compression.

Subsequent to completing this exercise give yourself around seven days of rest so that back can recoup. You can likewise include deadlifts or pullover as a substitute to the Hammer quality pulldowns to make the exercise sessions fascinating and keep you propelled with the goal that you can accomplish the back improvement you've for the longest time been itching to have.

You May Also Like:

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[falkberg]

The Bluejacket II - Phantasma

Tales Beyond the Veil IX

Through the leaded glass, my eyes would not believe what I head, when the spotter talked of tiny dots, crewmen jumping from the ship. Then, in less than a second, the vessel vanished from my view. A glimpse of darkness and it was gone, swallowed by waves, that jumped high into a watery spire. Where the ship had been just moments ago, a maelstrom opened its churning maw, ready to swallow what survivors there could be. The spotters yelled in disbelief before I could even question my eyes. Astounded, that the outlandish word of the incoming squadron was true, new orders were given out to prepare for maritime salvage. Ships in distress had to be aided, their men were to be rescued, regardless of force. Whatever animosity was left in these times dwindled at the sight of such tragedy. The admiral had decided, and former enemies were to join forces against something, that had clearly overpowered the matters of man. The invincible made a sharp turn and I could feel the massive body of the ship slowly lean leeward, as the man at the helm threw his weight behind the new course. As the ship veered against the waves, it clearly began to match speed with the incoming armada, that was now signaling at such rapid intervals, that I the flashes were erratic in nature. I could only assume that the German crews were in a panic after one of their vessels had been swallowed whole. Their formation only barely retained an orderly line, from which weapons were fired occasionally. Somehow, their gunners followed shapes moving in the fog. In the glowing, ever turning turmoil that had been lain upon the ocean, they were hunting phantoms that could be more easily seen from afar. Our spotters directed our own view towards the massive columns of smoke, that had risen like the clouds of a thunderstorm, only much darker, and with an unnatural brownish color. When I now heard the thunder, I could see flashes of light on the enemy vessels and far behind, in the foggy banks. Initially, it seemed as if the enemy gun crews were wasting shells, hitting nothing but waves beyond the horizon. But every now and then, the thundering tone was different. The initial blast of guns firing was then followed by a reverberating echo, as if the shells had hit and resonated with a massive, cast iron bell, that was hidden beneath the encroaching mist. Whenever that happened, the German ships rapidly changed their course and signaled us to do the same. Their method seemed random, without correlation. But given what they had seen, the officers did not question the decision. We were soon part of a deadly dance on high seas, in a game the rules of which we did not understand.

With every mile they approached, the incoming ships revealed more details of a decrepit state, the likes of which I had never before seen on an active ship. Wherever these vessels were hailing from, their journey had been one of the heavy seas.

The erstwhile prideful ships had been worn down on their flight towards the Falkland Isles. Their white and light gray hulls showed darker markings as if something had tainted their armor with unduly age. Castle-like superstructures were dangerously slanting and damaged in some places. Gaping holes in decks and batteries told of extensive battle damage. However, no signs of explosions or larger fires were to be seen. It was as if not shells, but massive boulders had hit the warships with blunt force. High above, on faltering masts, their remaining flags were scuffed hung from loose ropes instead of flying proudly on the wind. Despite their charge towards the shores, these vessels had something about them that reminded me of ghost ships. Stories of wreckage, refusing to sink, yet beyond the world of the living, had always filled me with fascination. As I watched them now, minute after minute struggling against the hostile tides, I could not help but wonder how many of their sailors were still left aboard, or if the bridge crews were the last survivors of what had come to haunt their fleet.

I had not much time to dwell on thoughts. Around me, the world was tense and awaiting judgment by the admiral. Fire upon them or their invisible enemies. Whoever had to make that call hesitated long enough, for the time to feel like centuries. The spectacular wrecks had come close enough to distinguish details on their battered hull. We were not maneuvering to intercept anymore. Instead, the Invincible had set its curse to rescue those who had been thrown from their ships. Only boxes and barrels and a few overturned life boats were left as traces of the supply vessel. Running parallel to the bland banks of fog, cruisers of two different squadrons fell in line, the mighty warships of the British navy taking the lead, whilst the German vessels swung around to keep in their lee. I could only guess what talks had occurred on the commanding decks. Certainly, Port Stanley would not let them in and our slower ships of the line would open fire on any potential hostile moving in. So to stand and fight alongside unlikely allies was the only option left to them. Although I did not believe that they were intimidated by our feeble display of power. They were merely smart enough to know, that whatever had followed them here, would not stop on the shores of this island.

A small coal tender succumbed to the waves soon after. The rolling ship was forcefully veered off its curse and descended deep between wave peaks. The crew immediately shot a blood-red signal flare into the sky. To my surprise, it was swallowed by the clouds and quelled. It almost looked like a giant hand had simply closed around the glowing light and blew it out like a candle. But the vessels captain did not give up without a fight. Howling, the ship's engines roared against the unknown force, that held onto the massive hull. The supply ship had been emptied over the squadrons long and taxing journey, so that it now stood high above the waves. For a moment, it seemed to rise even further, climbing a wall of surging water. But then, the waves crest moved on and the ship's hull crashed hard into the wave through. Something broke inside and the vessel began to turn over, spewing air and shards of glass through all portholes. Before it sank, the hull stood up, almost straight like a tower, and was illuminated by raging firestorms where the boilers exploded with a loud, echoing noise. Just a few more seconds the ship remained above the water, then it sank fast, dragged by forces beneath the waves, that eagerly took the metal hulk in their deadly, cold embrace. Only a circle of waves slowly protruding from where the steamer had been, reminded the sailors of their comrade's vile fate. One could not be so hopeful as to believe that the ship had simply sunk. Too quickly had the hull given way and within minutes broken down completely. Massive eruptions of escaping air bubbled up through the waves, producing deep and guttural noise. Where our lights skimmed the surface, we could see remnants of the crew moving and riving in panic.

All batteries were instructed to turn larboard, keeping watch for any unusual movement among the clouds. It was a futile task for those on the lookout because nothing about this mist was usual in any way. Pale lights, clouds that swallowed signal maroons and the waves that lifted us at once, just to plunge the ship down into the sea – all of it was beyond our own experience. The vague instructions spoke volumes about our officers own perplexity. There were no rules in the books on scenarios such as this, so we kept our guns on what we had to expect was an enemy and awaited the further command. While the gun crews were condemned to inactivity, the foredeck sprang into action. Our sailors had taken on oilskins and went on deck like ancient priests in heavy robes. In their hands they bore heavy ropes and nets, that was quickly tied to the railing, to pull sailors in distress aboard. Behind our backs, the ship's boats and longboats were hastily prepared. Clanking noises from little cranes and chains rang through the ships hull and we heard distinctly the sharp hiss of additional distress maroons being launched into the sky. Through my tiny window, I could see the sky being lit by nothing but these man-made stars. Outside, the world was dark and cold. The daylight seemed to back away from this storm and what little twilight remained was muddied by dense fog and the constant ocean spray. Aboard, all lanterns had been lit again and our searchlights were directed forward, into the fog. Soon, the invincible did too erupt into a light, glowing like a beautiful chandelier on black seas. In the hard contrast of light and dark, the seamen worked towards rescue, searching the sea for any survivors, facing waves and wind defiantly. Somehow, their efforts were rewarded. Slowly but surely, the Inflexible ran closer towards the watery graves of sailors, turning into the waves and slowing its speed. Small boats were carefully launched, but kept on long ropes and only manned with a few, to extend the reach of our efforts in the heavy sea. I and my gunmen were glad not stay outside, where the waves seemed to crash increasingly violently. The armored box of ours turned smoothly and I rose both barrels into the sky. With nothing to see but the white specters of this twining fog, I aimed for shadows that appeared and disappeared in every minute. My efforts were reflected by the fleet's command. Clumsily, the two squadrons coordinated their maneuvers against an invisible enemy line, entwined in a dance at the edge of white tendrils of this mist. Whilst the smaller cruisers formed a loose line, the battlecruisers had taken the lead and were now carefully closing in on the spot, where many lives had been taken. One after another, they shot more flares into the sky that united above our heads in a sea of stars, slowly burning out in the heavy mist. In the end, they only struggled to keep their distance and sent out boats towards the deadly waters that had taken two ships. But those journeys to the ship's demise were fruitless and soon abandoned. Despite all ropes connecting and holding the boats, two followed soon in the sailors watery grave. The others retreated from the uneasy sea and churning waters, fighting against the waves with force. Twelve men aboard our ship were needed, to retrieves the ropes on massive winches, and they struggled against the weight and wind. With no chance for boats to reach any further, the Inflexible slowly maneuvered closer, throwing lines and nets outward to catch whatever was left of the lost ship and its crew. For long, straining minutes, the nets were pulled back empty, and the brave seamen leaning overboard with long rods and hooks had no luck in catching survivors. Time and again they refrained from the railing when a large breaker crushed against the ship. When the saltwater washed over our deck, it left peculiar gifts of the sea behind. A shoe, remnants of wooden crates and loose swimming vests were caught on our deck as if to mock the endeavors of our crew. The men were close to giving up when suddenly a commotion erupted on the starboard side. A net, attached to large winches, had caught something larger, bigger than expected. The ropes were taut and would not budge against the heavy weight that pulled them down. Massive waves erupted from below. The sea itself struggled against the ship and pulled the ropes down, despite cork swimmers and our crews best efforts. More and more sailors gathered around and even officers jumped down onto the forecastle to grab onto the winches. Orders were shouted in all directions and they waved their hands in disbelief.  With the storm too loud to hear, I could only see the men rushing towards the railing and waving the hooks to come closer, helping to pull something up from below. Holding onto winches and ropes, the men pulled in unison and achieved slow, reluctant movement. In rhythmic, well-trained motions they pulled the ropes upward and brought something onto the deck, that I could barely see the crowd. Had the men kept close, it would have been utterly impossible to spot their catch, but instead, the sailors recoiled and covered their faces. A stench must have been, that had them flee the scene. Some, that had hooks impelled in the thing, now let their hooks fall down or struggled to pull them out. Others tried to push back against the thing, that now, as it had finally been forced into motion, seemed not to stop on the foredeck alone. It took not much guessing for me to understand what it was that these men saw. I recognized it, at first sight, the riving, moving mass that only the deepest ocean could have born. The black speech, a mass of nauseating, living things expanded on the deck and seemingly grew out of nothing. Where it caught the wood of the deck, planks seemed to fall apart from old age and the weight of the speech. Quick-witted officers did not hesitate for long. The sharp bang of guns discharging was heard all over the deck and others ordered the ship's guards to form a firing just before our turret. Some of the sailors grabbed lamps and opened the valves to the highest flame. As they threw the lanterns, the shining light flickered and shortly enveloped the thing on the deck, that stretched out tendrils like the fog around us. When the flames finally hit, ignited the black mass like resin and quickly covered it with a glowing fire. Waves came and went, flooded the deck and retreated, but the fire stayed, slowly burning through the sticky mass and the deck itself. The crews were far from done and at every second, I awaited orders to join the crews in their fight against this fire. With brooms, shovels and anything they could find, they pushed shriveling, riving shreds of the burning mass into the ocean, where it exploded in white steam and froth. But our orders were different. The commanding crew shouted them angrily over the storm. The order to open fire was just what we'd been waiting for. And guided by invisible hands or a sixth sense, I knew my target as soon as I saw. Just above the waterline, a shadow, moving like the fins of a colossal shark. The cannons fired and the loud, resounding bang cleared my head with a single blow. Recoil had the barrels jump and air thrust into my lungs with hot, steaming force. Glowing shells fell from the barrels and the loading crew yelled orders to reload both shells. All the while, I followed the shadow and the place, where the sea erupted into simultaneous explosions, just where the fin had been. Eagerly, I awaited confirmation by the spotter, but the crews above were busy with the fire slowing eating away on our ship. Oily smoke erupted from the black mass and the sea below, where the black mass had been thrown. Instead of retrieving their nets, the sailors were now hacking away at the heavy material with hatchets and cutlasses. But now, I had no time to worry about their strife. All that mattered was this turret and the next shot. Half a minute had passed, before the next salvo erupted with rejuvenated force. Armor piercing ammunition shot through the sky, howling in a high arc through the sky. The spotters followed and marked the position of our hits. Numbers were shouted in my ear and I hastily adjusted our elevation. Until we'd fire for effect, there was no chance of hitting whatever was hidden beneath the white turmoil that was this storm. The ship leaned forward, upward and fell, scenting through ocean foam and spray. All the while, the barrels danced, just over the horizon. The naval gun turned slightly, five-hundred tons of dedicated weaponry, seeking the enemy to destroy the source of the black tar on our deck.

Time and again I could see and hear the lightning strikes of naval artillery firing, but the ships and their targets remained out of sight. Our allies had taken on the battle now at full force. German naval cannons spewed the last of their ammunition against the faceless, massive wall that had chased them here. While they were still their latest transmission, the ships erupted in muzzle fire and smoke. When their turrets fired, a snapshot of the vessels was outlined against the pitch black sea. Despite all damage done, the ships fired at the almost full force and arced their shots with admirable precision. Five cruisers fired, slightly offset and soon our salvos formed a constant staccato in the night, our contribution to the symphony of war that the unknown force beyond the fog directed. Some of the light was reflected on clouds, other seemed to swallow the bright blasts without any effect. Most shells disappeared without a trace, but some exploded, seemingly midair, as if they had hit resistance in the fog where none should be. Whenever a target was hit, I could feel my muscles tense and my heart makes a jump. These were the times when I felt proud to throw the empires wrath against the enemy, whatever it was. Our loading crews kissed every shell, patted it and guided it into the barrel. When the heat of another shot exploded just beside us, I felt sweat on my face. My eyes were wide open, searching for the impact. Through the smoke and burning tar, I finally saw our shells exploding, crashing into an invisible war with full kinetic force. Nothing else mattered. Before the spotter even recognized, we confirmed fire for effect and trained all guns on the elusive target.

When battle ensued, our turreted battery became a well-oiled machine, a unit working together with precision and a deeply ingrained rhythm. I felt movement behind my back, where the loading crew was preparing the next set of shells for a salvo. The air was filled with the pungent smell of powder, hot metals, and oil. From the outside, a more hostile, acidic nidor seeped in, poisoning the routine that we knew so well from previous maneuvers. It was the black mass burning on the forecastle, burning through the deck ship's walls. Concentration Forcing myself to keep my eyes on a target, I compensated the slow rise and fall of the ship and fired at once, as the order was given to switch to salvo fire. A single gun port behind us gave off a shot. Lightning appeared in the darkness, shortly before the high explosive shell detonated somewhere on swirling tendrils. In an instant, all remaining guns were fired, including the turreted weapon of hours. The full barrage hit in the distance, closely followed by shots of hour sister ship. The Invincible, proud and glorious, stood high above the surging waves and unleashed a thunderstorm with her cannons. Mechanical clanks and rattling followed, before the next salvo was fired, mere forty seconds later. The two battle cruisers found their cadence, resembling a giant, mechanical heartbeat. Constant fire from the remaining line of battle joined into their destructive symphony and it was hard to imagine how anything could withstand such powerful forces.

High above, the spotters were speechless. For the longest time, all they saw was a moving scheme in the dark, a shape that resisted gunfire and artillery shells. Only after fifteen minutes of continued bombardment, I heard the raspy voice of our outlook speak up. His words, just as the guns fired once more, were overpowered by mechanical thunder. When he repeated his words, I already felt the helmsman's reaction. The Inflexible suddenly sheered off. The change in course was easily felt, as soon as our angle against the ocean waves changed and the ship began terribly pitch. Hearty curses of the gun crews echoed through the turret and our magazine. Hundreds of pounds worth of ammunition were unexpectedly set in motion by the sudden pitch. Our spotter repeated his report a third time. Something in the fog had broken down.

I saw with my own eyes through leaded glass, what the spotter was describing with a dry tongue. A tower falling from the sky, a mechanical limb of immeasurable height, encrusted in entire reefs of kelp and coral, that had been pummeled by heavy artillery for a quarter of an hour. Where high explosive shells had hit, the corals and metal plating were broken and revealed bleached and steaming hot material, that fell from the sky like rain. A black, thick mass in heavy, viscous drops, dropped from joints and cracks in the surface, immediately recognizable as the same stuff that had taken over our deck. The riving mass of worms and primeval crustaceans formed an endless steam into the sea, as the tower was leaning forward, breaking at the thinnest spot and finally collapsed in our direction. Torn segments crashed into the sea with such force, that their waves sprayed over our railings and turreted gun batteries. Salty water crackled and cooked where it hit the black, smoldering mass on deck and retreated as hot steam into the air. The Invincible was not so lucky. The massive tower had been felt by one of her last salvos and now, losing structure and stability in the storm, the colossal mechanical limb fell swiftly in their direction. With my own eyes, I saw the battle cruiser veer hard, diving into waves and forcing a new course against the tides. Despite all this, they could not escape the falling giant. The tower hit, and where it hit the water, it was boiling in steam. A wave of spray obscured our view and seconds later, when the water finally settled, we could see the Invincible struggling against the weight of the tower pressing down on her heck, forcing it underwater and slowly rolling off, dragged down by the weight of the remaining segments. The riving black mass flowing out of the tower remained while the fallen segment skid down the aftermost deck of the vessel, ripping decks and the superstructure apart.

[papaculture]

Ivor the Engine

There is a moment in most parents’ lives when their children discover trains. Having been a budding trainspotter myself — and briefly, if less glamorously, a bus-spotter — I’m at a loss to fully explain the magic that things on wheels possess. To be honest, I’m still slightly magicked.

Most magical of all trains is, of course, the steam engine. With its belly of fire and snout of steam (the mechanics of which appear reasonably and appealingly explicable to a young ‘un), it’s the closest most kids will get to coming face-to-face with a mythical beast.

Trains are also all about rules. While cars and trucks are unwieldy and unpredictable, capable of going anywhere, a train (and to a lesser extent, a bus) is confined to a fixed course. I suspect there is a comfort in that.

Signals and junctions and forks and turntables provide kids with a whole language of control. As a six-year-old, I used to plot extravagant courses with marker pen and butcher’s paper and run my Matchbox trains to a strict timetable. Clearly, I had issues.

Thomas the Brown Noser

For Child One, the train obsession really took off when she was two. It sprang from her early love of books. We found a beautiful volume of Thomas The Tank Engine stories in a Chapel Street op shop, which tickled her bibliophilia and my nostalgia bone. While One enjoyed the stories (except the distressing one where Henry was bricked into a tunnel), it didn’t take me long to realise the Thomas stories are pretty seriously unpleasant.

Leaving aside the issues around gender representation (the later books attempt to redress this somewhat, but even then it’s often a female engine a) causing trouble or b) trying to prove she’s almost as good as the boys), there’s a real well of nastiness to Thomas.

The engines are constantly bickering and attempting to “pay each other out”. Their sole purpose to is to become “really useful engines” — rather literal cogs in the machine. The Fat Controller is a cruel headmaster figure, frequently delivering extreme scolding and punishments.

If you went to an English boarding school in the 1950s, it would likely feel grimly familiar. Likewise if you went on to work in a bullying corporate environment. I quite enjoyed a recent theory that argued that the Isle of Sodor is actually set in a dystopian parallel universe.

Ivor the Engine

Looking to cater to One’s new obsession with steam, I remembered Ivor The Engine. As a child, I’d had two Ivor books — The Elephant and The Dragon. Written by Oliver Postgate and illustrated by Peter Firmin (the duo behind Bagpuss, Noggin the Nog and Clangers), these lyrical tales are a perfect antidote to Thomas’s brutal world of bureaucracy, backbiting and workaholism.

In one of the stories, Ivor and his driver take the day off to go fishing. When Thomas tries his hand at angling, it nearly kills him and he learns to keep his mind on the job.

Ivor doesn’t have a face or a voice. He doesn’t even have a name (Ivor is a nickname because “the  Locomotive of the Merioneth and Llantisilly Rail Traction Company Limited… was a long name for a little engine”). But through his whistled interactions with driver (and interpreter) Jones the Steam, he is given more depth and humanity than any of Awdry’s trains.

Ivor lives in rail shed attached to a railway in the top left-hand corner of Wales, a branch line that is described as being neither long nor important. When he proves himself useful, it’s as a member of the local community rather than through ruthless efficiency. He helps lure pigeons from a villager’s roof, assists a wounded elephant, saves lost sheep and runs packages to the needy up and down his branch line. When hunters threaten the lives of a local family of foxes, Ivor and Jones effect a clever escape.

While Thomas and “friends” are in constant competition to prove themselves the fastest, prettiest or most efficient worker, Ivor instead takes pleasure from his surroundings, his friends and, well, just being alive. There's mindfulness for you.

POOP POOP POOPETY-POOP went Ivor’s whistle as they rounded the bend above Llaniog. He wasn’t whistling a warning. He wasn’t whistling a signal. He was whistling for the joy of being alive and steaming, for the joy of seeing the cows in the fields and the sheep on the hills and the big wheel of the Pit spinning in the sunshine.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to see a touch of Dylan Thomas’s Under Milkwood to the writing here, which embraces its Welsh setting through a conversational style peppered with colourful turns of phrase. Even if a parent isn’t bold enough to attempt a Welsh accent, these books are a joy to read aloud.

Rail Against The Machine

Bureaucracy is often the enemy here. In the first story, Ivor decides he wants to join the local choir, so Dai the Station has to check if it’s against regulations. (Head office ultimately sign off on it.) In The Dragon (star Idris is “not one of your lumping great fairy-tale dragons… [but] a small trim, heraldic Welsh dragon, glowing red-hot and smiling”), Dai tries to force Ivor’s scaly new friend out of his firebox and into the “proper container for carrying livestock”. Later, Idris is forced to flee from the railway after an “investigation” is launched into his existence.

“NO!” cried Idris. “No! Dragons are mythical! No, I must not be investigated! No! No! No!”

Thankfully, the local community come together to shield Idris from the excoriating gaze of authority.

Most frighteningly, Ivor himself is threatened when the owners of his railway decide to sell off to a national company that plans to replace him with a diesel. (Not quite as frightening as when Thomas’s cronies are threatened with the scrapyard.) His salvation comes not by proving himself a vital asset to the functioning of the marketplace, but rather as repayment for his past kindnesses.

There is a joy and a magic to these tales that doesn’t undermine the background texture of social realism — the mines, the gasworks, the fish and chip shop. Thomas might depict society as it often is, but Postgate and Firmin offer a glimpse of community as it should be. People who delight in their interactions, who tolerate eccentricity and who find pleasure in their work but are not crushed by the weight of material aspirations.

Compassion and Contentment

The real star, Ivor aside, is Jones the Steam. He is a man in his element, happy in himself and his work and seemingly wanting nothing more. He doesn’t aspire to be a station master or to run his own railway. Although he enjoys performing his errands, Jones’s greatest pleasure is making his morning cup of tea from Ivor’s boiler.

He is compassionate and sensitive, always keen to help, and blind to his own quirks. It’s left to us to decide whether Ivor has an intelligence (I think he does) or whether Jones merely ascribes one to him. Other characters rib him for talking to Ivor, but affectionately so. There is no cruelty here. Only once do we see Jones lose his temper, when dealing with a truculent elephant.

I first encountered these stories as books, without realising they were sprung from a television series that originally screened in the 1950s and 1960s. (The books are far from the usual afterthought cash in, each story lovingly rewritten and reillustrated by the original team.) 

The colour episodes are available on DVD and were some of the first television we showed to Child One. There is an enchanting simplicity to the cut-out animation and a leisurely pace to the storytelling that makes them feel very much like a picture book brought to gentle life.

Postgate does most of the voices himself. He is a perennially comforting, sedate presence. As Charlie Brooker once wrote: “there is no more calming sound in the world than the voice of Oliver Postgate. With him narrating your life, you'd feel cosy and safe even during a gas explosion. It floated above all these stories, that voice; wound its way through them.”

The episodes are also available (in pretty terrible quality) on YouTube and, thanks to Postgate’s tender narration, make for delightful audiobooks if you leave the screen off. By a stroke of luck, I recently found a copy of ten of the stories on vinyl.

BOOKS

The Ivor books are all out of print, but readily available via eBay or Abe’s Books.

Ivor The Engine Storybook (published 1982). This is the perfect starter, containing four tales. The First Story, Snowdrifts, The Elephant and The Dragon. Hardbound. Each story takes about 10 minutes to read.

The First Story

Snowdrifts

The Elephant

The Dragon

Ivor’s Birthday

The Foxes

All released in hardback in the early 1990s.

DVD

The Complete Ivor The Engine (Universal Pictures, 2006, 186 minutes)

All the colour episodes of the classic Sixties and Seventies children's series. Enjoy once again the adventures of Welsh steam engine Ivor, Jones the Steam and the good people at the Merioneth and Llantisilly Rail Traction Company - not to mention the dragon and his chestnut barrow!

AUDIO

Ivor The Engine And Pogles Wood by Vernon Elliott

Not sure how much the kids will enjoy this, but it’s pretty delightful. Woodwind and brass score, which (like the sound effects from the TV show) has the benefit of being easily imitated by non-musical parents

MERCHANDISE

Not a lot. There’s a board game I haven’t played, some resin models of Ivor and — perhaps most tempting — a plush Idris the Dragon (not baby safe). Etsy has a few handmade treasures.

THE SHORT STUFF

Age and stage: 2+

Gender stuff: not great. There's a female vet, female shopkeepers and a batty old woman or two, but that's about it. I tend to read the dragon as female, but he's described as being male.

Drama: minimal, with few moments of tension. When younger, Child One was only distressed by the fox hunting sequence in The Foxes (spoiler: the fox lives).

Outdated bits: leaving aside the old school tech and above-mentioned gender issues, it's hard not to feel uneasy about the stereotyped Indian elephant keeper. There's otherwise a distinct lack of diversity.

Themes: community, individuality, compassion, anti-bureaucracy, mindfulness, tolerance, contentment, mythology, the wonder of steam.

[fitnessmega]

Top 3 Exercises You Can Use To Build a Wide Huge Back

Back Exercises 

Back Exercises

You may have been preparing your back hard for a couple of years, utilizing all of the particular back projects, yet you are no place close to the back advancement. In this article, we present to you three activities to increment back width significantly and build a wide back. This program comprises three sections. The initial segment is doing close hold invert pulldowns done on a Hammer Strength machine, which is expected to focus on the lats and the upper back. The seconds part is doing overhand hold twisted around barbell columns proposed to put on mass. The third part is doing situated link columns, expected to add thickness to the teres major and the rhomboid muscles.

1. Sledge Strength Reverse Pulldowns

The main exercise is the pulldowns done on the Hammer Strength machine. You can uninhibitedly switch them up with pulldowns on a standard pulldown machine. The variety done on the Hammer Strength machine recreates a considerably more normal development of the back muscles. When taking a shot at the standard pulldown machine you are just pulling the heap down in a vertical line. Getting the handle with a nearby grasp gives a superior extend to the lats and the turn around hold takes away the weight from the biceps, guaranteeing that your lats are better invigorated. Before you begin with the working sets complete a few warm-up sets. Next, get yourself in the beginning position by getting the bar or handles with a nearby and turn around grasp, twist your elbows marginally, which will put a more prominent weight on your lats as opposed to the biceps and begin pulling down. Concentrate on your lats when pulling. Interruption to get a full compression at the base position and afterward begin discharging the heap upward in a controlled and ease back way to accomplish a smooth development. Never overarch your back and move in reverse too far since that way you'll be restricting the scope of movement. Settle on a weight where you will achieve muscle disappointment at the eighth rep, and in the event that you have a spotter behind you, attempt to complete a few more constrained reps.

2. Overhand hold twisted around barbell columns

Twisted around barbell columns have been commended as basic bulk developers and which is all well and good. Dorian's style of execution is associated with all the diverse territories of the back. He does them with an overhand hold, with his hands snatching the bar at the bear width and his body situated at around 70-degree point to the ground. The lion's share of weightlifters do them with their middles parallel to the ground and by maneuvering the barbell into their chest. Be that as it may, on the off chance that you need to specifically hit the lats and lift as much weight as you can, 70 degrees is simply the best edge to a position in. At that point, simply pull the barbell upward from the beginning raise it to your midsection.

3. Situated Cable Rows

Complete the exercise with a few warm up sets and 3 work sets comprising of 8-10 reps of situated link pushes by utilizing a long bar. Utilize and overhand hold at bear width to add thickness to the rhomboids and the teres major. You can marginally lean forward while starting the development to show signs of improvement extend in the lats. Bring your elbows outward and the bar to the upper stomach muscle territory or to the lower chest zone. When you pull your elbows back the extent that you can, it causes you to better invigorate your upper back and to achieve crest constriction. In the wake of completing this exercise give yourself around seven days of rest so that back can recoup. You can likewise include deadlifts or pullover as a substitute to the Hammer quality pulldowns to make the exercise sessions intriguing and keep you spurred so you can accomplish the back improvement you've for the longest time been itching to have.

THE WORKOUT FOR BACK WIDTH

Mallet Strength Machine Pulldowns - 3 sets x 8 reps Twisted around Barbell Rows (body at 70 degree point to the ground) – 3 sets x 8 reps Situated Cable Rows – 3 sets x 8 reps

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