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whataperfectwasteoftime · 3 years

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Born to Run / Chapter 4

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Marathon Runner f!reader (no y/n)

Rating: E for eventual smut (18+ only, please!)

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Oh my god they finally kissed. Rough kissing, a thunderstorm, thoughts of masturbation, sexual fantasies, return of the size kink: Surprise! Marcus has a size kink too!

Summary: You return to the bike trail on Monday and run into a familiar face. You and Marcus take cover from a surprise thunderstorm.

A/N: Posting another chapter this week because I truly cannot help myself. Some new things: there’s a Playlist now, and I’m kind of proud of it even though I’ll be the first to admit my taste in music is objectively Bad. Let me know what you think! I love all the feedback about the story so far! Comment or send me a message if you’d like to be tagged!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

When your alarm sounded on Monday morning, you had a pit in your stomach. You had two choices: go back to the bike trail and keep running, or find somewhere else to run and risk never recovering from the fear you now felt at the thought of strangers standing still on the pavement with vacant eyes. This was your favorite running trail. You felt a silly sense of possessiveness over it. You’ve been running this trail for years. You were here first, dammit! You’ve done, you don’t know, an average of 3 runs a week on this trail every week for the last 4 years, maybe? That’s, uh… you grappled with the numbers in your head. Shit, 600 runs? Who the fuck knows. And you’re going to let one asshole keep you from your trail forever?

Fuck it! You pulled on your ‘lucky’ bike shorts and stumbled blearily out of your bedroom. Plus, there was another reason you couldn’t give up ‘your’ running trail: Marcus. God, you wanted to see Marcus again. Was that weird? The way you had left things the day before was awkward. There had clearly been chemistry there, but you, or maybe the both of you, were holding back--too afraid to acknowledge the mutual desire you had felt on the porch. Too cautious to examine that spark of electricity you felt as he ran his fingers up your arm. The timing was just too weird, you thought. 30 minutes after an attempted assault and you’re gagging for this guy’s touch? You didn’t trust yourself. You didn’t get his number, but you hoped desperately that you’d meet him on the trail again. One time could be written off as a fluke. Two times… well, there might be something there. If you could only see him again to discover whether that gravitational pull you felt was real, or a product of being ‘saved’ by the man combined with a runner’s high. If it’s meant to be, you’ll see him again, you tell yourself as you lace your shoes and head out the door.

Except, you didn’t believe in fate.

With that cheerful thought running through your head, you pulled into the trail parking, your stomach in your throat. You couldn’t tell if your nerves were more due to facing your fear, or for the possibility of running into Marcus. Either way, it wasn’t going to be easy to run the scheduled five miles feeling as if your organs had been rearranged inside your body. Instead, you opted for some interval training to mix it up. Ten four hundred meter ‘sprints,’ with a minute rest in between. Maybe that way you’ll run all that nervous energy out of your system.

You ran past the narrow dirt path to Marcus’s cabin and very pointedly did not try to crane your neck through the branches to catch a glimpse of the house. Focus on the run, you reminded yourself. You went through the first six intervals and then turned around for the remaining four. By your estimates, you’d be done with the workout just as you passed by his cabin a second time. Giving you about three-quarters of a mile to cool down, you thought. No other reason.

The mix-up in workouts reminded you that intervals are fucking hard, okay? And even though you’d only gone two and a half miles when all was said and done, you were gasping and sweating as if you’d run five times as many. You were a little off in your predictions--the last interval ended after you had passed Marcus’s cabin, about a hundred feet from your favorite feature of the trail--a high suspension bridge spanning a lush canyon filled with trees and a bubbling stream. You skidded to a stop and hastily turned off the GPS tracking. Marcus was finally out of your mind for a few blissful minutes; all you could focus on for the moment was catching your breath. You took a few gasping gulps of air as you limped forward on aching feet. You felt a bit like Frankenstein’s monster after a hard run, sometimes, complete with a lurching gait and wheezing breath. No one ever said running was pretty. You felt deliciously ugly after a hard run like that, with wobbling legs, sweaty face, and wild hair. And that’s when you noticed a familiar form standing on the bridge overlook ahead of you. Ohhhhhhhh, fuck.

Marcus knew exactly why he was taking a stroll on the bike trail at this exact time of morning. It was the same time he knew you had been running on Saturday. He had no idea what your schedule was during the week--hell, he had no idea what you did for a living, and so he also had no idea if you would be there again, but he hoped, he hoped--He cut off that train of thought. All told, the trail was absolutely beautiful. It was surrounded by trees on either side for as far as he could see, creating a canopy of leaves overhead. He walked and breathed in the signs of spring--a flower here, a sapling there, a chipmunk skittering across the path as he approached. He made his way toward a break in the trees further down the trail to the right of his cabin. As he grew closer, he realized the clearing was actually a bridge spanning a deep ravine. He wandered onto it, enjoying the view on either side. Built for foot traffic, the bridge had two little overlooks that extended out a few feet over the valley--one on each side--and he stepped onto one and stared down at the water below.

He had done nothing but think this weekend. He had thought of Theresa and the hurt he still felt, but mostly he thought of you. Your wide eyes as they met his for the first time. The undeniable presence with which you held yourself. Your crooked smile. The feel of your hand on his. The insanely quick turnaround between his grief over Theresa and his newfound desire for you had him reeling and confused. He didn’t even know you, not really. All he knew about you was that you were a marathon runner, and you resorted to jokes when you felt uncomfortable. And the feel of your smooth skin against his fingertips, he knew that too. Oh, how he wanted to know more, wanted to know you. Would he be so lucky to see you again on this trail before he left again? Maybe if he made it a point to take nice, long walks every single morning and evening this week, just in case.

He stood, deep in thought, watching the mesmerizing movement of the water below him until he felt someone’s eyes on him and looked up. A runner on the trail.

But not just any runner.

It was you.

He drank in your disheveled appearance like a starving man. You were again completely covered in sweat. It was seeping into your clothes in the humid morning air, dripping from your messy hair, and beading onto your forehead and chest. For all intents and purposes, you looked like a disaster. But your smile--oh, your smile could dull even the most impressive of views. You were beautiful like this, he thought.

“Hey, stranger,” you smiled.

He went along with the game. “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” he asked with a wry grin.

“I don’t know, I’m looking for this guy who saved my ass this weekend from a fucking meth-head. Was that you?” You took a few steps closer to him.

He laughed. “That couldn’t have been me. I only came in at the end after you saved yourself.”

Your smile widened. “He called the police and then patched up my injuries with a first aid kit straight from the ‘eighties.”

“Oh, now I remember. He had really big hands, right?” Marcus’s cheeks hurt from how widely he was grinning now.

“Oh, fuck off,” you laughed. You looked down, feeling a little embarrassed, remembering your outburst about his hands.

“Hey, hey--I was joking, please. God, I’m glad to see you,” Marcus admitted. “I wasn’t sure if you’d--after what happened this weekend…” he trailed off.

“I figured if I didn’t pick myself right back up and run here again, I’d develop a--y’know, a complex or something about this trail, and this is my favorite trail to run on, and the most conveniently located for me, so…” you shrugged. “I needed to do this.”

All joking forgotten, Marcus looked at you earnestly. “You’re an incredibly brave and tough person, you know that?”

“I… I don’t--”

“Really. That takes a ridiculous amount of strength. I’m… you amaze me.”

You regarded him with those wide eyes again. He felt as if you could see into the heart of him, pushing past any false pretenses, to see the desire he already held for you.

Dropping your eyes, you gestured to the ravine and the stream to his right. “Great view, right? I mean, it’s no wonder why I have to keep this as my running trail.”

Marcus nodded. “It’s beautiful,” he agreed softly. You were watching the swirl of the water below you, but he couldn’t help but look at you as he said it. “How’s the hand?”

“Oh!” you held up your left fist. “It’s so much better! It’s barely swollen any more, but the bruises are really starting to look pretty colorful.”

He cradled your hand gently in his, in an echo of his actions just two days ago. “They are pretty bruised, but at least nothing’s broken, huh?” He wanted to bring your hand to his lips and kiss away any lingering pain, but he figured that would be crossing the line.

The breeze picked up and you shivered--the shorts and sleeveless top you were wearing were perfect for running, but with the drying sweat cooling your body, you were suddenly too cold. Marcus noticed the shiver and the goosebumps that pricked your skin as the wind shifted. He was dressed a little more warmly--the chill of early spring hadn’t quite abated yet despite the increasing humidity in the air. He couldn’t help but feel protective of you. He had seen you in a vulnerable moment this weekend and, despite your obvious resilience and strength, he only wanted to surround you in his care. He removed his leather jacket and started to drape it around your shoulders.

You startled out of your reverie at Marcus’s movement. “Oh! No, I’m really sweaty! I’m so gross--”

“Doesn’t bother me,” he intoned, wrapping the jacket around you. “Can always be cleaned.” He didn’t dare say what he was really thinking--that he wanted it to smell like you long after you took it off.

He resisted the urge to keep his arm firmly around your shoulders as he let go of the jacket. The wind grew a little stronger still as you sat in companionable silence for a few moments, watching the dance of ripples on the water. A sharp gust blew over the bridge and whipped the sides of the jacket back before you grasped the labels in both hands, settling it around you again.

“The wind’s picking up,” you said, looking up at the darkening sky. “I didn’t see any rain in the forecast this morning, but it really looks like--”

A rumble of distant thunder sounded, essentially finishing your sentence for you.

“Sounds like it, too,” Marcus agreed. “I have a feeling we should get moving sooner rather than later.” As if to accompany his thoughts, another clap of thunder rang through the air, louder and closer this time. “What’s closer, your car, or the cabin? I have a feeling we’re going to end up having to make a run for one of them.”

You considered for a second, weighing both distances in your mind. “The cabin!” you called out over the strengthening wind. A brilliant flash of lightning lit up the sky, followed almost immediately by another round of thunder.

“Time to go!” Marcus grabbed your hand and started briskly down the trail towards the cabin. Almost immediately, the rain began to fall in great sheets of water. “Shit!” he shouted over the noise, and you both began to run, still hand in hand. You were both soaked by the time you reached the little dirt path to the cabin. Marcus guided you along carefully. The dirt path, having never had a chance to dry completely from the weekend’s storms, was almost entirely mud now. Keeping your hand in his, he maneuvered around the rivulets of running water and prayed that he wouldn’t accidentally slip in the process.

But unfortunately, one of his feet hit an especially slick patch of muck and flew out from beneath him, and he went down, pulling you with him by the hand. You shrieked as you fell, skidding down the muddy hill alongside Marcus. “Fuck. Fuck! Oh God, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” Marcus frantically brought himself to one elbow, pushing the torrential rain out of his eyes and looking as horrified as he felt. His eyes searched your form, and found your chest heaving… with laughter. You shook with it, scarcely able to breathe as you grasped his shoulder to keep from doubling over. You were both coated in mud, from your shoes, to your clothes, to your hands as they grasped at each other.

You let out a peal of laughter, "Me? What about you? You're the one who fell!" you managed to get out.

Your mirth was infectious and Marcus couldn’t help but join in, and you laughed together on the muddy slope in the pouring rain, ignoring the thunder all around you, your faces close. He had been on a roller coaster of emotions in only three days. The stress of the past week, his grief over Theresa and what could have been, and the sudden, strong emergence of his attraction to you all came to a head with a cathartic snap in his mind. No longer trapped by his own thoughts, Marcus basked in the feeling of blankness. In a sudden moment of clarity (or was it insanity?), he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours.

Marcus considered himself to be a good kisser. He loved kissing, loved the intimate slide of his mouth against another’s, and he felt that he was well-practiced at delicately coaxing pleasure with his lips, teeth,and tongue. He liked to savor it--to take his time and slowly discover what makes a woman gasp, sigh, or press closer to him with want.

All of that flew out the window at the first touch of your lips.

You made a surprised sound that quickly turned into a whimper as your mouths crashed together. You immediately moulded your body to his, pressing your hips together and throwing your arms around his shoulders--leaving muddy fingerprints on his shirt. He brought his hand to your cheek, pressing down slightly on the hinge of your jaw to deepen the kiss. The mud on his fingers streaked across your face as you opened for him, letting him inside. Marcus moved against you with a desperate hunger he hadn’t felt in a long time. Gone was the calculated, practiced way he would have kissed Theresa. This was messy. A frenzied taking of your mouth, delving into you. He crushed you to him, caging you in with his body. You met him with an equal furor, moving your muddy hands to card through his hair, pulling slightly on the strands as you grabbed at him. Marcus reacted with a greedy moan, tightening his grip on your jaw. The rain seemed to reach a crescendo then. He was so focused on the sensation of your body, it felt as if all of his senses had been heightened--it made the rain suddenly sound as if it were violently crashing onto the leaves and the ground and it stung as it hit his back, but he ignored it all in favor of the movement of your lips on his.

“Marcus,” you pulled back suddenly. He chased your lips with a small smile, but you insisted. “Marcus! It’s--it’s hailing.”

Finally coming up for air, his brain started to come back online. The increase in the volume of the rainfall and the stinging on his back started to make sense. You laughed at his shocked expression. “Get up, you goof.” You playfully nudged at his shoulders.

“Fuck!” Marcus stumbled to his feet, helping you up with him and pulling you against his chest in an attempt to shield you from the little pellets falling all around you. “Ouch!” he cried as they pelted the top of his head. You started giggling again and he joined in, laughing together. Marcus covered the top of your head with one of his hands to try and protect your face as best he could, keeping the other arm wrapped around you, bringing you solidly into his body. You awkwardly ran, pressed against each other, the rest of the way up to the porch.

Under the safety of the roof, you separated. He couldn’t help but smile wider as he took in your disheveled appearance. The mud was everywhere--caking your shoes, running down your bare legs, and streaking across your cheek in the spot Marcus had held you open with his thumb. His heart thrummed, seeing the physical evidence of the searing kiss you had just shared. His leather jacket, still around your shoulders, had taken the brunt of the impact with the ground and was absolutely filthy, caked with dirt and wet leaves. He reached out and gently fingered the lapel. “And here you were worried about a little sweat getting on this.”

You inspected a muddy sleeve. “Yeah, this might be a lost cause.”

“Worth it,” Marcus said with a grin. He put his arm around your shoulder and you both turned to watch hail fall on the pond, making the water appear as if it were boiling violently as the little ice pellets disturbed the surface. The thunder was abating slightly--each rumble getting farther and farther apart as the clouds passed. The hail turned back into rain again, which fell gently on the roof of the cabin as you watched the passing storm in companionable silence.

“I, um-- I hate to break the mood, but I’m going to need to go to work at some point.”

“Oh shit, you aren’t late, are you? I don’t even know what time it is.” Marcus patted his pockets looking for his phone.

“Don’t worry about it, I work remotely like ninety percent of the time. I can be pretty flexible.”

Marcus hummed softly in reply. "I'm sorry I haven't asked yet--what do you do?" He felt like an ass--here was, fixated on this gorgeous woman for the entire weekend, he just made out with her in the rain, and all he knew about her was that she ran.

"I'm an auditor for a pharmaceutical company. Exciting stuff," you joked.

"What does that even mean?" Marcus scrunched his nose.

"It means I spend fifty percent of my time hitting 'copy' and 'paste' and the other fifty percent answering emails," you replied. "But the pay and benefits are great. I get good insurance, a good salary, and more vacation time than I'll ever need. Plus I mostly work from home!"

"Nothing beats a commute like that," Marcus nudged your shoulder playfully.

"Well, my commute is to the bike trail and back," you laughed. "And then down the hall to my office."

"I've never been more thankful for a commute in my life," Marcus teased. "Keep doing it."

"Oh, don't worry, I will." You turned towards him and his playful gaze turned tender as you stepped into his space. He brought up his hands to your face and gently lowered his lips to yours.

The difference between your first and second kisses could have been a lesson in contrasts. Just moments ago, Marcus had kissed you with the same ferocity as the thunderstorm around you, the two of you crashing together the way the lightning collided with the air particles around it. This kiss, however, was tender--as gentle as the light rain now pattering across the roof. His desperate urgency to claim your mouth had subsided and he expertly moved his lips against yours, catching first your upper lip, your lower lip, his tongue gently darting forward to taste you with a practiced care. You sighed against him, and he drew you closer, deepening the kiss but careful not to lose himself in the feel of your mouth against his.

After far too short a time, Marcus drew back enough to say, “We should get you home,” directly against your lips.

“Would you mind if I get cleaned up here? I’m going to wreck my upholstery if I get in the car like this.” God, please. Marcus pictured the wet slide of your body against his own underneath the spray of the shower. He wanted to move against you just as he did out in the rain, this time with no clothes and no mud between you. He wanted to first gently clean the mud off your body, starting with that little smear he made on your cheek, then kneeling before you to run a cloth tenderly down your smooth legs. He would push you against the shower wall, then--soothing the cold of the tile against your back with a warm hand as he buried the other hand in- He shook himself. He had to slow down. This was going way too fast, he had to pump the brakes before he risked losing himself again.

He kissed your temple and spoke lowly in your ear, “There’s a guest bath you can use. I’ll clean up in the other one.” He ushered you inside, helping you out of his jacket as you both toed off your soggy, mud-caked shoes and left them outside on the porch. He guided you to the spare bathroom and left you with a fresh towel and a spare set of gym clothes from his suitcase before giving you another soft peck and closing the door.

Once in the shower himself, he couldn’t help but picture you doing the same thing only steps down the hall. The frantic kiss, the press of your body against his, and then his little fantasy of a shared shower (before coming to his senses and offering you the spare bathroom) had left him hard as a rock and almost desperate to come. He stubbornly refused to give in to his baser instincts and fuck his own hand as he so desperately wanted to. The thought of jerking off to the thought of you while you were right there--but unaware and unconsenting to his fantasies--made him uncomfortable. The hot water poured down his head, slicking his hair back and sending the mud you had put there down his back and into the drain. The steam of the shower was doing little to cool his desires. He let out a muffled, frustrated groan against his fist and turned the faucet handle over to ‘cold’ to finish washing the remainder of the dirt from his body. He finished quickly (hastened by the cold water), put on a fresh set of clothes and a warm sweater to offset the leftover chill from his cold shower. He sat on the couch in the living room to wait for you.

When you emerged, his heart caught in his throat. You swam in the old gym shorts and t-shirt he had given you, and it provided a delicious demonstration of the difference between your height and his. His shirt hung past your thighs, and the shorts fell adorably around your calves. You were also clean for the first time since he met you--fresh faced, with wet hair falling around your face instead of being pulled back and away from your forehead for a run. The bagginess of the clothes and the water still dripping from your hair made you look a little bit like a drowned rat, Marcus thought, but one of those soft, adorable little rats that they had in pet stores. You smiled at him and nervously chewed at your bottom lip. Marcus stood and walked over to you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. You hummed pleasantly and closed your eyes.

“Ready to go?” he asked you softly.

“Yup. Feels much better, thank you.”

He helped find a bag for your dirty clothes and shoes, and guided you out the front door to the car in your bare feet. He couldn’t stop smiling. As he drove the short, the two of you traded banter back and forth--playfully, easily. As he pulled up next to your car at the trailhead for the second time, you turned to look at him, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Come over for dinner tonight?”

Marcus leaned over and captured your lips with his. He would never get tired of that. “Try and stop me,” he murmured against your mouth.

You giggled. “I’ll send you the address. Um… can I get your number?”

“We probably should exchange numbers this time, huh?” Marcus smiled against your lips, before pulling back to retrieve his phone. After you both entered each other’s contact details, you shared one final, heated look. Suddenly, Marcus didn’t know what to say. ‘Thank you for letting me kiss you?’ God, no. He settled on, “I’ll see you tonight, beautiful.”

Your answering smile made his heart sing.

Taglist: @honestly-shite , @thirddeadlysin , @deepstarsco , @221bshrlocked , @mando-amando , @frenchyjuju , @farfromjustordinary

#marcus pike #marcus pike fanfic #marcus pike fanfiction #the mentalist #the mentalist fanfic #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #pedro pascal

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thekidultlife · 4 years

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I Want Your Midnights | Lee Jihoon

Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Idol AU (?)

⍟ Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst on the side

⍟ Warnings: -

⍟ Word Count: 4.3k

⍟ A/N: Alright I know you guys are already sick of me just posting Jihoon fics, but it’s my birthday today, so just...humor me pls. This is almost a self-indulgent fic;;; I’ll be tagging @nrhfzh and all those jihoon stans who sent anons last time!!

(this should be posted on Friday which is Leanne’s schedule, but we decided she won’t post anything this week and I won’t post next Moday;;;)

btw, the song featured here is New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift. I recommend you listen to that song while reading this skkssk

-Hyeri

It was like an ordinary night. Like any night that you have spent before and will spend more in the future. Nothing extraordinary could be noted in particular between you and Lee Jihoon as you both sat eating in the quiet and privacy of his studio, between out of place candles and almost empty chicken buckets. It was as normal as a night can be.

Yet at the same time, in your own little way, it was also special.

Not being overly expressive with your love for each other, subtle gestures and acts of love screamed more than a thousand words could ever do. It never felt lacking or boring or empty like people thought it would be. In fact, your relationship was an adventure, even barely starting, it had been an uphill battle, and you both knew that.

As you came back from the comfort room washing your hands, you made a small scheming grin at your boyfriend who was still gobbling up the last remains of his chicken wing. Taking notice of that, he glanced at you with a smirk of his own.

"I know that look. What are you planning?" He asked as you sat across him, your arms folded confidently.

"Are you done eating?" You replied, watching him with a childish cheekiness in you.

"Well yeah," he dusted off the crumbs on his shirt with an innocent look. "What are you thinking though?"

With a coquettish smile, you stood up from your seat and went to his side. "Nothing really. Though I do want you to close your eyes and trust me."

Jihoon glanced at you with a bewildered look at first, wondering what you were scheming again this time, but when he saw that mischievous glint in your eyes, he knew it was something he shouldn't really worry about and simply chuckled at you.

"Fine, but don't do any funny business!" He finally agreed as he closed his eyes and waited for you.

He could hear you walking away and some wheels rolling. "I've never done any funny business." You denied teasingly.

He scoffed, even with his eyes closed. "Yeah right. Except that time when you drew on my face when I was drunk!"

He knew you were making an incredulous expression right now.

"C'mon! I was just trying to see what you would look like with a mustache," you laughed, walking towards him and reaching for his hands. "Don't open your eyes yet. I promise I won't draw a third eye on your forehead this time."

"Please don't. And please stop sharing meme faces of me to the other members. My reputation as vocal boss is on the line," he retorted back with a toothy grin as you chuckled, guiding him somewhere in the room.

"Can't promise that, Ji. I like my status as the official Lee Jihoon meme distributor," you replied, making him laugh out loud at how ridiculous that title was, before the both of you stopped walking. "You can sit now. I promise there's a chair to catch your butt."

For a while he feared that there really wasn't any chair for him to sit on, yet when he felt the soft foam of his swivel chair, he relaxed for a bit and sat down. Turning the chair around before you backed away, you allowed him to finally open his eyes. As soon as his sight came back, he was greeted by the image of you sitting in front of the electric keyboard with a soft smile on your lips.

"I can't promise you my voice or my playing would be up to your standards, but just…it's the thought that counts right?" You suddenly rambled, giggling.

Blinking, Jihoon was still processing what you were planning until it dawned on him the next second. "Are….are you going to sing me a song?"

You smiled at him bashfully. "Yeah, though I wish it was a song that I made myself, but I guess I'll put my feelings into somebody else's words for now. So you better listen."

Gazing into your eyes, he could sense the sincerity deep in you. You were someone who wouldn't make an effort just for the sake of being romantic. Everything you do for him meant something and was done with great consideration, he understood that, that's why right now, he could feel his heart swell with emotion.

A gentle smile on his lips, Jihoon leaned back. "I'll listen. Don't worry, I won't judge."

“You promised that, okay?” With a sheepish grin, you turned your attention back to the piano and placed your fingers on the correct chords.

With a small nervous breath, you began playing.

"There's glitter on the floor after the party

Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby…"

Soft chords accentuate your raw and amateur voice. It didn't need to be technically perfect, the genuine emotions which surfaced on your voice reflected beauty in Jihoon's ears. It didn't need to be perfect, but it was real. He always loved that about you. Your brutal honesty, the unapologetic optimism you had. It gives him strength to look forward to another day.

He remembered as he watched your fingers dance on the keys, the first time you met. It wasn't that special. He just saw you on the internet as he monitored his own social media presence, posting stuff about Seventeen and what not. He found your comments funny, your reactions interesting, that he found himself going through your posts every day. He knew he'd love to be your friend if he could.

Yet being an idol wasn't easy. You were so close yet so far away. It wasn’t as easy as typing the words ‘hey i wanna be your friend’ to just another person. His name held weight and Jihoon knew that. With his workload and all the responsibilities he had in his hands, he just couldn’t tell you what he felt. As he listened to your voice reverberating with the acoustics of his studio, he remembered how it took him years to finally stir up the courage and to finally see the opportunity to talk to you.

He was glad he did. If he hadn’t, his heart wouldn’t feel as full as it has been since he met you.

“If you’re really Woozi of Seventeen, then post a picture of yourself in Weverse and in the captions write what’s the last anime you’ve watched.” Jihoon remembered you telling him over chat, it was nerve-wracking back then but it felt silly now. Of course, you can’t just trust a random person claiming himself to be an idol. There were a lot of those these days.

“Let’s be friends first,” you wrote to him with a heart and a smiley face emoji back then. “I want to get to know you.”

“Don't read the last page, but I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away…”

Jihoon gazed at you, even then and until now, you were still beautiful in his eyes. No matter how many songs he’d composed about you, the emotions that reside in his chest would never run dry. The way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you’d do just about anything—he only had you in his eyes. Yet things weren’t always roses and butterflies.

You were so frustrated at him at that time when he had gotten scared of his own emotions. Jihoon knew, deep inside, that he had grown to love you over chats on SNS; your witty sarcasm and wonderful conversations were like water and sunlight to the love growing, rooting deeper and deeper into his heart.

He wasn’t unfamiliar to this feeling, yet he had been betrayed by this same emotion in the past and he wished he’d never had to be again this time. He was frightened that you could easily leave him, broken and empty, like the others did. Admittingly, he had lost hope for a love that was unconditional. He didn’t believe that there would be anyone out there who could love him wholeheartedly as much as he did, even through his flaws and his mistakes.

But you suddenly popped into his life, unaware of how much power you hold over him.

“You annoy me so much!” you told him over one fateful video call. “Jihoon, I feel so confused, you know? What am I really to you? Do you want to be just friends or do you want something more? If you want to stay as friends, then fine! I won’t force you. But that doesn’t mean I’d wait for you forever when you’re ready to take this to another step.”

He didn’t enjoy fighting with you. Not at all. Yet he was scared and stuck and didn’t know what to do. Being more meant more risks of hurting you unintentionally.

“But I can’t decide, Y/N! Dating means people will talk, and I don’t want them to talk about you! But I can’t just make everything I feel about you disappear!” he replied, and you were taken aback. “But if letting you go is the price I have to pay for your peace, then I don’t mind hurting.”

Tears were already threatening to slide down your cheeks, and if only you knew how much it pained him to see you like that back then. To hear you trip on your words, to hold back small sobs as you tried to find coherent words to keep the conversation going, it felt like a thousand knives piercing through him.

“Stop that…please. Do you think I won’t feel anything when you say that?” you replied. “Jihoon, I can understand where you’re coming from but don’t ever think that you’re the only one carrying this relationship, or whatever this is. For this to work, you have to share your burdens with me, you have to trust me, to depend on me.”

“I know that all your life, you’re used to doing everything by yourself, and I’m no different. We’ve achieved so many things just by ourselves. But we can’t be like this forever. A relationship isn’t just you or just me. It’s us both. So lean on me, let me carry those heavy feelings and I’d do the same with you. I want this to work, Jihoon. I don’t want to give up.”

Even if it was only through some shitty PC screen that he could see you, it didn’t diminish the weight of those words. He could feel it back then, he could still feel it right now as you played on the piano, singing a simple song—you were the one he wanted, tomorrow and forevermore.

“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it's going to be a long road…”

Jihoon would forever be thankful for you. Everything that you did for him, even if unintentionally on your part. He couldn’t admit how much he appreciates you in his life—through early morning calls when you were still far apart, and now through your warm presence in his studio as he worked.

“I’m considering moving there in the next year or so,” you suddenly told him over a phone call as you did your work. “Now that I’m breaking through the Korean webcomic scene, I think it’s better to stay close to my audience. And I think it’s better that we can finally be together, geographically at least.”

He could still remember it as fresh as that day. His heart began beating so fast, a wide grin broke out on his lips. He was worried that it’ll be too much for you to handle, but he had learned as your relationship progressed, that you’re someone who doesn’t get pushed back by hurdles so easily. Besides, you had him.

Jihoon was glad that he can now keep you closer more than ever.

It wasn’t easy, like everything else in life. But there was nothing the both of you couldn’t handle. It took so much silence and deception to hide your relationship from the public—a decision the both of you agreed upon long before. Jihoon knew that the both of you were private people, and more than anything, you didn’t want anyone to become privy to your intimate relationships.

For the first time, in such a long time, Jihoon was able to hold you close. Gazing at you, at your real eyes, at that time, felt surreal. Jihoon always thought he knew almost everything about you, yet he had never anticipated that there were still a lot of things about you which he hadn’t discovered yet.

He never had thought how warm your touch was, how bright your grin was when you were scheming some prank, how loud your voice got when you were so passionate about something, how soft your lips were when you finally kissed for the first time. No matter how much technology brought you two together, nothing compared to actual, real life affection shared between lovers.

“I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe or if you strike out and you're crawling home...”

Jihoon remembers, as you sang, how you silently embraced him on nights when he felt the world was too heavy on his shoulders. You wouldn’t say anything to him until he would open up; patiently waiting as you tapped an irregular beat on his back. As easily as that, you’d erase all the stress that he had accumulated over time.

You didn’t need to say anything grand or moving, or make all of his problems disappear. Your simple gestures were already enough. You were already enough for him.

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N,” he whispered to you one night as he buried his face on your shoulder. “You’re everything that I want, but I’m not sure if I’m giving you everything that you want.”

You giggled, sighing as you brushed your fingers through his newly dyed hair.

“You don’t have to worry, Jihoon. You’ve given me so much that you never even realized it.”

He pouted, not liking how vague you were. “Like what?”

“Aren’t you just conveniently forgetting how many songs you’ve written for me?” you replied, a smirk on your lips as you twirled a lock of his around your finger.

“But…those are just songs! It’s not as special as the things you’ve done for me…”

“Don’t underestimate them, Ji,” you told him as you pulled back, cupping his cheeks and looking into his eyes. “I know how important music is to you, how it’s an extension of your feelings, and to be a part of it is something I’d consider meaningful.”

For a moment, Jihoon gazed at you; his eyes holding so much emotion. There it was that he knew—he was truly, deeply, madly in love with you.

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you…”

Feeling a strong urge, he leaned into you, capturing your lips into a deep and passionate kiss. Everything, everything that he felt for you at that time, he poured into that kiss, making you gasp for air. You cling to him for support, wholly surprised at his sudden intensity, yet not unwelcome at all.

As the both of you pulled away, Jihoon once again returned to your arms, allowing himself to be vulnerable before you.

“I truly don’t deserve you,” he whispered on your shoulder..

“After that incredible kiss?” you teased, “Statement denied.”

Jihoon groaned and you chuckled.

“I know you’re overthinking again, so I’ll say it clearly. You’re more than I ever wanted, Lee Jihoon.”

You paused, patting his head, tightening your arms around him.

“Whenever you call just to check up on me despite your busy schedule, whenever you share funny stories about the members, whenever you act cute and pouty when I ask you to do aegyo for me…what else…?”

He grunted disapprovingly at your comment and you giggled. “I don’t act cute.”

“You do, you know? You’re naturally and inherently cute,” you replied. “You’re cute when you make ramyeon for me even when I just eat the noodles, you’re cute when you offer to hold my bag or open the door for me, or when you insist on paying for dinner, and you’re so cute when you hold me close whenever I feel down and insecure about myself and my work.”

Jihoon was silent, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He thought you didn’t really catch on those little things he did, but he had underestimated your memory and your powers of observation.

“There’s a lot more I can say, you know? I should make a list for you and maybe stick it on your desk whenever you begin to question yourself again.”

He snorted. “No, thank you. The members would see it and I don’t want them to.”

“I’ll do it when you annoy me,” you joked, despite your words. “Now, I hope I’ve reassured your worries for tonight.”

Snuggling against your shoulder, Jihoon smiled. “Yeah, thank you.”

“Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…”

As your words fell like chants into his ears, Jihoon was mesmerized by the image of you singing, his eyes wandering. A bitter memory relapsed into his mind, and a reminder that not everything was golden in your paradise.

It was a cold January night, snow had finally ceased falling at one in the morning. The both of you were inside his studio just like normal; a habit the two of you took comfort in. He was holding your hand tight, keeping it warm with his hands in his pocket, as you scrolled on your phone.

For a while, it felt normal. The sounds of the clock ticking, the gentle thrumming of your heartbeat, the soft breaths you both shared. Yet, just like that, everything gradually became colder. It wasn’t the actual temperature, but your mood as he watched your expression turn from amused to a deadpan frown.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, kissing your temple. For some reason, he had developed a rather intuitive connection with you over time, where he can easily sense your change of moods despite your lack of expression.

You sighed as you looked up, leaning against him. He wondered if you were pondering on telling him the truth, or just keep your thoughts hidden. Before he could actually express to you his own thoughts, you sighed and nestled yourself on his shoulder, closing your eyes.

“Jihoon, is this all a mistake?” you asked, your voice small.

He blinked, furrowing his brow at the complex question. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve read a few things online.”

It was a simple thing to say, yet Jihoon immediately knew what you were talking about. With a sigh, he adjusted his position where he could wrap his arms around you tightly.

“People always talk, Y/N. We can’t do anything about it but continue living our own lives and ignore them.”

“But what if they reveal our relationship as a scandal and you’re forced to leave Seventeen? They could do that so easily, you know!” You asked with a weak voice, clinging to him tightly. “I don’t want that to happen. I’ll never let that happen, Jihoon!”

“Then we’ll announce before they do,” he easily replied, brushing his fingers through your hair. “Have you forgotten how strong the relationship between Carats and Seventeen is? Of course, some will react negatively, but I know that they would be accepting.”

Once more, Jihoon heard you sigh. “Sometimes I feel like I’m just being selfish by being with you. A lot of people look up to you, Ji, and they all want a piece of your world. I don’t want to be possessive of you but sometimes I just question myself, like what if this is wrong? What if this was a mistake?”

Gazing into your eyes, Jihoon felt all of your concerns. It was already given that dating an idol would be hard, and moments of weakness like these could make your anxieties grow into deeper, darker shadows.

“It’s gonna be weird for me to say this but it’s ok to be selfish,” he told you, his words firm and certain. “Oh god, how do I say this…but look, Y/N, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with me. We’re a couple, and that’s normal. There’s nothing wrong with being a couple.”

“But you’re an idol! If they knew, people would say a lot of bad things about you, and I don’t want that!”

“No matter how many times they say I’m an idol, I’m a human being, first and foremost, and just like everybody else, I have my own personal life which doesn’t revolve around my job. People will always say a lot of bad things about me no matter what I do, but what’s important to me is that I have you by my side, I have everyone by my side. So don’t ever think that this is wrong. You and I are never wrong. Who are they to judge what is wrong or right for me when they don’t know who I am?”

Jihoon realized that after his speech, you turned silent, and instead buried yourself deeper against his chest.

“You’re important to me, Y/N. What other people say doesn’t matter to me anymore. As long as you’re here with me, I’m able to do anything.”

In a quiet voice, Jihoon caught your words. “Thank you for this, Ji…”

“But I stay when it's hard or it's wrong or we’re making mistakes…”

There was always a strange quality to time whenever he was with you. Sometimes time would slow down, sometimes it would pass by in just a blink of an eye. As he began to reminisce instead of actually listening, he realized just how much time had passed between the both of you.

“I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day…”

On that certain night, when the both of you were wrapped between sheets, when the bright lights of Seoul reflected on the stark white ceiling, when you were tangled in each others arms, listening to your own fast paced heartbeats after a long night, he remembers you pulling him close, brushing stray locks from his face.

“Jihoon...” you whispered under your breath, your fingers tracing circles on his cheekbones then down his jaw and to his lips. “You’re very handsome, did you know that?”

He smirked at you, placing a chaste kiss on your lips. “What? You still haven’t gotten enough?”

In an instant your face heated up as you hit his toned chest playfully, making Jihoon laugh. “Ehh...! Don’t mention that now!”

As his devious eyes turned soft, he smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “What is it then?”

You sighed, gazing at the ceiling. “I just thought that someday, I know, things wouldn’t be this way anymore.The spark wouldn’t be as strong as before, the butterflies will eventually disappear. Things would become mundane between us...”

There was a melancholic tone in your words; a detail which hadn’t escape his attention. Yet Jihoon knew that what you were talking about was reality. As the both of you would eventually be consumed by work, by responsibilities, by day to day obligations, it wasn’t a far off thought that the way you felt for each other would turn dim. He knew that, and he feared it.

“But, you know...” you continued, breaking him away from his own thoughts. “Even if that happens, I’m not scared. Even if love do fail us someday, I’m confident that we would still be together, that we can still fix it. Rather than lovers who’re friends, we’re friends who became lovers. Even if you and I will eventually drift off, we still have a strong friendship. And we can rebuild everything from there.”

Jihoon oftentimes wondered how you’re able to get these epiphanies. Your mind was deep and thoughtful, and that was one of the things he loved about you. Conversations with you were never dull as you bounced off ideas at one another. You would always say well-said ideas, often describing how he feels better than he ever will.

“I want to share exciting things with you, Jihoon. I want to be helplessly all over you. I want to feel aroused, flustered, or dying of laughter. But when things get boring or nothing is really happening, or when we have to face bills, chores, or responsibilities, I’ll stay with you.”

A hundredfold, you were better at making him feel loved. He admits that.

“You know, sometimes, I wonder what I’ve done in my past life for you to choose me,” he replied, a wide grin plastered on his face. “You’re everything that I could ever ask for, Y/N. Even if you don’t have to, you still take care of me so much. I swear I’ll make you happy even if I have to walk through fire or sleep on nails.”

“I don’t think that’ll make me very happy,” you replied, grinning. “But...wanna know what else that could make me happy?”

Jihoon arched an elegant brow at you, his lips curving into a smirk. Ah yes, he definitely knows. “I was absolutely right when I said you still haven’t had enough.”

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you…”

Thinking of how much time has passed, how much the two of you had been through, almost left him in tears. The memories the both of you shared over the years was incredible that it was hard to let them go.

As he watched you finally sing the last few seconds of the song, Jihoon was sure that this moment would become another beautiful memory he would reminisce about one day in the future. It filled his heart, thinking about a pleasant future with you. A long time ago he had sang a song—doubting what kind of future was in store for him, yet now he already knows that it was something bigger, more beautiful that he had ever expected.

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you…”

As the final chord resounded across the room, both your eyes met in soft glances. You smiled at him, the sweetest, most loving smile you could ever muster, and then finally sang:

“...And I will hold on to you.”

Allowing the note to dissipate and disappear, you then turned to Jihoon with a bashful smile on your lips. “Well? Did you like your surprise?”

Already a blushing mess, Jihoon simply burst out giggling as you looked at him in confusion.

“Ya! Why are you laughing?” you exclaimed as you sulked, pulling on the sleeve of his shirt.

Still chuckling, he stood up, pulling you towards his arms as he captured you in a tight embrace. He felt at peace with you more than anywhere.

As it was apparent to you that he was in a rather good mood, you made a bemused smile as you wrapped your arms around him, also laughing on your own.

“What’s gotten into you now?” You asked as he pulled away, now able to gaze into your eyes.

“Nothing. I just thought you’re absolutely cute,” he replied as he cupped your cheeks, squishing them much to your chagrin.

“Seriously, Jihoon! Why’re you so happy?”

“Am I not allowed to be happy now?” he replied, his eyes turning into crescents.

You raised your brows at him with a grin. “You like my song, didn’t you?”

“And what if I did? It was a really nice song, you know.”

This time, it was your turn to burst out into giggles. It was hilarious how Jihoon was being so roundabout with admitting that he liked it; it was incredibly adorable.

“You’re so cute, Hoonie~”

It was no secret that he doesn’t appreciate being cooed at, as he made a small frown upon hearing your nickname for him.

“Now I don’t think I’m so happy anymore.”

“Oh c’mon!” You hit his chest lightly with a chuckle. “Tell me what you really think about it!”

His eyes filled to the brim with endearment for you, Jihoon stared into your eyes, trying to communicate how much he was so thankful that you entered his life.

“I like it. I love it, Y/N,” he replied, caressing your cheek. “It made me remember everything we’ve been through, and how much we’ve grown together.”

“And we’ll continue to the next year and in the future. Thank you for giving me your midnights, Jihoon.”

“My midnights would always be yours, as you will always be my mornings,” he gave you another embrace, embedding the feel of your skin against his, the way your hair brushes through his hands, the sound of your voice and the your scent—he will burn them all into his head so he won’t ever forget how much he loves you.

There were so many words that he could say so he could just express how he was thankful that you became a part of his life, yet none of them seemed fitting to say at that moment. Instead, as Jihoon finally decided upon, that it was best to leave them for future songs and say the words that he really wanted to say for such a long time now.

“I love you.”

-Hyeri

#seventeen #svtcreations #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen woozi #lee jihoon

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novantinuum · 5 years

Text

Shattering Atlas (a corrupted!Steven one-shot)

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (TW: depression and body horror)

Words: 4.2K~

Summary: A boy can only carry an entire galaxy upon his back for so long before the weight of it all finally becomes too much.

Folks, here it is! I’m finally finished. AO3 link to be posted in the reblogs.

Disclaimer: This is absolutely far darker and more drastic than I believe canon would EVER tread if this theory had the faintest chance of being anywhere close to the truth, but sometimes you just feel like being super angsty for angst's sake, y'feel? It was an interesting writing experiment nonetheless. Not gonna lie, this is kinda a vent piece. Please do heed those tags. This delves into some difficult territory both mentally and otherwise, as it's written entirely from Steven's POV.

_____

Steven knows he’s messed-up.

It’s not something he tries to advertise to all the sweet, innocent people who somehow after all this time still choose to stand by his side, but he can’t lie to himself. Spending a significant chunk of your childhood actively doubting your own personhood shatters you in ways no amount of unconditional love can ever hope to mend. And sure, he’s not his mom. He knows that. Been there, had the mental breakdown, seen it, done it. The proof’s in his gem half. He knows. But as much as everyone in his life coddles him, gently tries to reassure him while he tirelessly works day and night to realign the foundation of an entire ancient civilization...

“You’re almost an adult now, isn’t that exciting?”

“Don’t worry about the future, the futures I see for you are as limitless as they are bright.”

“Take a break if you need to, ‘kay? You totally deserve one, little man.”

“Y’know, Schtu-ball, the wonderful thing about adulthood is that you can choose to fly wherever the wind takes you!”

...it’s clear none of that matters anyways. Because it’s not true, not for him. Because beyond his identity as a Crystal Gem, beyond that bottomless desire for belonging he’s been chasing all his life, ever since the fateful moment early in his childhood in which he finally realized— small, pudgy hands clutching at the oversized hand-me-down shirt right over the pink hand-me-down gem in his belly— that he isn’t like anyone else and never will be, the truth is that he genuinely doesn’t know what he wants. Who he is.

Everyone else does.

Connie has plans. Hopes, dreams. A future. She’s already thinking about college, and aims on double majoring in political science and environmental science. (A combination only she’s daring enough to pursue, but if anyone’s got the drive to succeed in that it’s her.) Dad’s still manager for Sadie Killer and the Suspects, and they’re going strong. Amethyst has been playing tour guide to all her fellow Prime sisters lately, galavanting with them all around planet Earth. Garnet is currently on the search for terrified cross-fusion Gems still in hiding across the galaxy. Pearl, Bismuth, and a number of the boardies have spearheaded a campaign to help slowly teach and integrate the humans of the Zoo into modern day society. Lapis and Peridot recently built another barn in the outskirts of Little Homeworld, and are enjoying each other’s company.

But him? When all is said and done, as the restructured Gem society stabilizes and soon no one will need him for anything anymore, when Gems and humans alike stop knocking on his metaphoric door with handfuls of their problems for him to drop everything and solve, he has nothing left. He’s no one. No future, no clue. He’s been drained empty.

He’s just drifting through life with the parking break on, continuously waiting— his nerves jittering at every quiet moment— for the next big crisis to crash into his universe and drop feed him even the tinniest shard of purpose.

After all, what is one to do when they’ve spent their entire life training to save the world, but the world has already been saved?

_____

He can’t recall exactly when his current predicament began anymore.

Time’s been hard to keep track of as of late— the days and weeks blending together in an incomprehensible fashion— and yet simultaneously, he might as well have lived a lifetime in the span of the blink of an eye. That being said, he’s pretty sure his most recent gem troubles didn’t truly kick into gear until after the incident with the, erm... cactus monstrosities.

He genuinely didn’t mean to hurt anyone, he didn’t. He only wanted to help... to heal. To try and repair but a shred of the damage Homeworld wrought on this innocent world. It worked when Earth was poisoned, so it should work in the Kindergartens too, right?

Wrong. Very wrong.

His stomach churns as he catches a glimpse of a silly photo of Peridot and himself hanging on the wall by the stairs. A static monument to his shame. Lapis is (still, days later— or is it weeks?) taking care of her gemstone at this very moment, sure, but remembering what happened before that... holding Peridot’s cracked gem in his quivering hands, biting back cries of hopelessness as he ran to the nearest warp pad, escaping from the malformed, hurting creatures born of his own magic... it‘s the kind of horror that he’s sure will linger in his dreams for a long time yet.

It’s like he’s broken. Like his powers just aren’t coming as naturally to him anymore. It’s not quite like that time with the rejuvenator. There’s no sickly glow flickering in and out of existence. No external force acting upon it. No, it’s deeper than that. It’s not a gem sourced problem, it’s him. He’s just... wrong. He’ll try to use his healing ability and it’ll backfire, he’ll summon his bubbles and shields but they’re noticeably less durable, he’ll birth life from his very soul and it’ll grow bitter and corrupt, every bit a mirror of his present mental state. He’ll jump up high in the sky to burn out years of repressed stress in semi-peace and before he can actually do so gravity will grab ahold of him like he’s a petulant, disobedient child and drag him back to the shore. It makes him want to scream, to grind his fingers into the sand so hard his knuckles go white as he sobs out every last one of his stupid, meaningless frustrations, but instead his house is always swarming with people, and his bedroom has no real door, (and he’s too embarrassed to ask for one), and in sum he can never find enough time alone to freely be his genuine messed-up self. It’s fine, though. He doubts he’s capable of crying at this point anyways.

“Dude, you okay?” Amethyst asks with brows furrowed in concern, snapping him back to reality.

His GameStation controller rests precariously in his loose grasp, entirely forgotten in the previous moment. The game they’re playing is paused. He must have blanked out again, and completely ruined their co-op fight. He lets out a shaky breath as he tightens his fingers around the plastic grips, digging into them as if they’re his sole handle on reality.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says swiftly, plastering a smile on his face with the ease of someone who’s been growing adept at this endless charade for months and months. “Didn’t sleep too well last night. Muscle cramps from training, y’know?”

He watches her closely, catalogues every minute shift in her features. Her eyes narrow so slightly that anyone else might’ve missed it. But he doesn’t. He’s observant. He’s gotta be. It’s the only way he’s kept going for this long, the only way he can ensure no one else knows. They don’t need any more worry. Regardless, Amethyst’s lack of subtlety betrays her, because it’s clear she’s searching his expression and body language right back. His chest pounds. Hastily, he holds up the controller, feeling his face go pale under her scrutiny.

Geeze, how pathetic.

No matter how hard he tries to mask it, he‘s already falling apart.

“So... we gonna play another round, or?” Right as he says this, his stomach chooses to let out an inopportune gurgle. He bites at the insides of his cheeks, inwardly cursing at the bad timing.

It’s thankfully enough to divert Amethyst’s attention from... other matters, though.

“Yo. Ste-man. Your stomach’s straight up monologuing. Have you even eaten today?”

He dimly considers this as he tries not to focus on how empty and faint his body currently feels, mind turning to fuzz. “Uhh...”

She frowns, and promptly pulls herself to her feet. “Yeah, so I’m gonna take that as a no. I’ll be right back, ‘kay? Gonna get us some cheese!” she declares bombastically, putting on a mock announcer voice.

He watches her leave his room, prancing downstairs like she doesn’t have a care in the world. A faint huff of sheer relief passes through his nostrils. Absentmindedly, his thumbs jiggle the controller’s joystick, unable to strike the earlier image of Amethyst— concern engulfing her usually carefree self— from his mind. He really should be more careful about what he says. How he acts.

He honestly couldn’t live with himself if he slipped up and became yet another emotionally taxing problem for them to deal with. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... all his family, his friends. They deserve peace. They deserve to be satisfied, they deserve their happily ever after. They certainly don’t deserve him, self-destructing all over the bright and shining future they’d won.

Or nearly shattering them.

Putting them in needless danger, danger that’s all his fault, because he’s broken.

His throat grows tight, airway constricted, images of black beady eyes, razor sharp fangs, and malformed limbs invading his thoughts, clawing away at insecurities long scabbed over until they ooze a bitter red. Peridot’s shrill yelp as she’s overtaken in an instant. That dreadful, immediately recognizable sound, a cracking Gem, seared onto his heart for the rest of time.

He... he can’t deny it anymore. His magic’s gone toxic. He’s toxic, bringing suffering and decay where once he brought healing. All his Gem powers are fading, maybe forever. And with them fading, he’ll soon be of no use to anyone, and when they realize why they faded they won’t want him around anyways, and y’know, it’s probably for the better they’ll have a concrete reason to finally push him away. He’s not stupid. He’s always known what an emotionally taxing strain he’s been on everyone, ever since the day Mom died for him to be born.

Steven grips the controller so hard that his fingers grow numb, mind stewing in the dark fantasies of what he’d like to do with himself when he’s left behind for good.

And then... his heart leaps in his throat as he dimly hears Amethyst begin to whisper to the others (they’re back? They’re back?? When did they return, why didn’t you notice them, how could you just miss—) downstairs.

“Y’guys,” he hears her say frantically, under her breath, “I think we really gotta talk with Steven. Something’s seriously wrong, and he won’t tell me what.”

“What, you mean to say he’s in danger? Garnet, do you see anything?”

“Hmm. I don’t foresee any external threats to Steven’s safety in the near future, but...”

“Amethyst, he’s clearly still upset about Peridot. And once she reforms in a few days, when she’s ready, he’ll be fine! Trust me.“

“No, trust me, I genuinely think this is more than just Peridot! It’s getting me super worried. He hasn’t been eating like he should, y’guys. I don’t think he’s showered in days. Sometimes it’s like he’s... I dunno, like, he isn’t even fully present. And y’know, thinking about it now? It’s been like this for a while. Since before all the cactus stuff.”

“Well, if he doesn’t want to talk about it, I’m not sure how we could—“

“We need to call Greg over,” Garnet interrupts Pearl, a new, thinly veiled panic rising in her voice. “Right now.”

His eyes stretch open wide.

Oh.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no... Not here, not now, not— please, not now!

His breath hastens, his body outright shaking now. He curls tight into himself, the game controller dropping from his slackened fingers onto the floor as he clutches his knees to his chest. Sweat beads in droplets on his forehead. He outright yanks at his hair.

Amethyst, she can’t just waltz downstairs and!—

I don’t want to—

Peridot, getting cracked, I- it’s all my fault and she didn’t—

I- all of this- I’m so useless, careless, l- I’m losing my mind, what’s even wrong- why are you panicking!- I don’t—

T-they can’t know, they can’t know, they CAN’T—

He can’t fully bite back his cries as his gem flares burning hot, a rush of pure, unadulterated agony spiking through his hard light veins in an indescribably eternal split-second, the very experience of hypocrisy. Every single muscle in his body seizes. His ears ring, filled with a cacophonous clamor of sound that slashes through his mind with the deadly force of a long blade. Crippling. Debilitating. All-consuming. Hell. This is hell. Because then his head is pounding, and his limbs are all weak and shaky, and for a moment he’s bathed in a faint wash of pink, the glow enveloping him like his own corona of sickness as he succumbs to the pain he’s sequestered inside, bitterly festering for all these years.

Hell eventually recedes, both its note and its physical touch, but the dark clouds looming over his mind do not. Slowly, he loosens his grip on his curls, trying desperately to bring balance to his breathing. His ears are still ringing. His head is still cotton. Questions abound. For instance: what on Earth was that?? Stars, is something else wrong with his gem now, too? Thoroughly disorientated, he yanks up the hem of his shirt.

“Steven?!” Pearl calls frantically from downstairs, right as his trembling fingers gently trace the exposed facets of his gem. “Are you okay up there?”

He squints, features compressing in his sheer confusion. Visually, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. No imperfections, no flickering light, nothing. So then what’s—

“Hey, Steven? Yo?? You, uh- maybe wanna come eat downstairs, or?”

A shudder runs clear through his form, starting from his gem and coursing outwards to the furthest extremities. He grits his teeth as he rides through the stabbing discomfort, clutching at his stomach. It’s like he’s about to vomit. Sure, so maybe he was really hungry before, and maybe that has a little to do with what he’s experiencing now, but... this... still doesn’t feel right. Spots swim in his vision as he glances down again.

And that’s when he sees it, slowly creeping across the skin of his bare forearm as clear as day.

It’s a patch of dull, pinkish hide. Not human skin, hide. He runs his index finger along its perimeter, all of reality screeching to a halt as his brain performs somersaults in a desperate last-ditch attempt to contextualize the information his eyes are sending him right now.

“What?” he whispers in disbelief, (even though he has a few terrifying theories), frantic heartbeat pounding in his ears like a drum.

“I’m checking on him,” Garnet says, just loud enough that he knows for certain she intends him to hear. Solid footsteps creep across the floorboards, advancing towards the foot of the stairs.

It’s frankly impressive how fast a single stimulus can turn panic to outright paranoia.

He almost trips over himself diving to retrieve his jacket off the floor, forcing his arms through the sleeves faster than any of the Gems could ever summon their weapons. Hide it. Hide it away. They can’t see you, they can’t know you’re corru- NO! Stop.

Bathroom. He needs to get to the bathroom.

His bare feet solidly connect with the floor, toes curling inwards as he shudders again. A pulsing ache settles into the bones of his skull. Then a prickle at his neck. Reflexively, he slaps his hand against the affected locale. There’s another spot steadily growing there.

Alone, NOW.

The whole world’s spinning as he turns on his heels and flies across the length of his bedroom— sprinting past the TV, shoving past Garnet, who’s already halfway up the open stairwell, and leaping clear over the couch from midway down the last set of steps. (Everyone’s shouting in blind panic as he enters their sight. Fear. Needless, unwanted worry. Calling his name, calling for peace, but his ears are still ringing and their voices are overlapping and he can’t distinguish any of it.) When he reaches the bathroom his hand grips the knob so hard that the metal almost crumples under his force, and he swings himself through the doorway, slams it shut, and turns the lock with pink-splotched fingers faster than any one of the Gems can move to stop him.

For a split moment, things are okay. He’s alone. Moreover, he’s safe.

(But are you really?)

His head is pounding again, the pulsing at his temples soon coalescing into a constant inescapable misery. Letting his eyes flutter shut, he lets his forehead lull against the door. Flexes his knuckles, imagines the splotches disappearing from sight as easily as eye bags under makeup. He tries to calm his breathing in the meditative way Garnet once showed him. In for four counts... and out. In... and out. Come on, just ride it out, Universe. You’re a Gem- a diamond, for cripe’s sake! Control it. Conceal. Move on.

“Steven?!” Amethyst calls from outside. “Please talk to us, what’s goin’ on?”

"Whatever it is, you don't have to be alone!" Pearl adds. He doesn't even have to see her face to know that she's crying.

A renewed burst of panic spikes through his veins at this realization.

“Stop worrying about me, I’m fine!” he bites back on impulse.

“No, you’re NOT!” Amethyst hollers, and then... after a thoughtful pause, her tone softening: “I- I know you’re not.”

He stares down at his hands, brows threading together, watching as the patch of hide continues to inch across his skin. The genuine concern interlaced in every syllable of her speech is enough to make his gut churn with guilt.

“Steven, I... stars, I know you probably overheard me talking to everyone jus’ a second ago, and I know I probably betrayed every scrap of trust we ever had ‘coz of that, and I wanna say I’m sorry, but I can’t just stand aside and watch you treat yourself like garbage. Please, the door’s jammed. Let us in. We just wanna help!”

His lip quivers, despite himself. “I don’t need any help!” he insists, stubbornly pushing past the crack in his voice. “I’m just—“

He’s interrupted by a rush of crippling agony radiating upwards from his gem once more, the ache at either side of his head intensifying into three points. Hands rush to the site on automatic. Fingers grasping, searching. Discovering.

There’s something growing at his temples, he realizes with a rush of horror. Something hard, faceted. Disturbingly cold to the touch.

There’s no way to bite back his screams as the growths fully protrude, none at all, even with his mouth clamped shut, and even though he can’t see them he can sense their weight as they wind upwards and back, up and out of his curls, and he’s shaking, oh stars is he shaking, chest heaving up and down so hard he’s not sure he’ll ever be free of these awful tremors ever again, and— A hoarse sob forces its way to the surface as a third growth crowns his forehead. Trembling fingers scrape down the length of the door as he collapses to his knees, nails sharpening into gnarled talons as they sink further and further into the wood, carving through it like butter. He clenches his jaw back together so hard that with any greater pressure he might shatter his own teeth.

Still quite woozy under the threat of hyperventilation, he slowly turns his head. Extricates those dreadful claws from the door. Dares himself to look. Forcing himself back up to his feet, he gazes deep into the depths of the mirror. And as the creature trapped on the other side stares back through sickeningly pink irises— blotches of color steadily creeping up their jawline and across their cheek, inching to meet the base of those glistening crystalline horns— all known reality shatters into smithereens.

Not me, not me, not me, is the mantra he chants to himself like a prayer, stubbornly clinging to any vestige of normalcy as if this is all but a vivid nightmare he can stir awake from.

(As if deep down, a tiny, beaten-down part of himself still wants to believe he deserves a future too.)

But the darkness reflected in that mirror is following his every jerky, erratic movement as all the despair and guilt and self-hatred festering within continues to consume him like a matchstick to fire.

Not real. It’s not real! I don’t need help. I don’t need the Gems, they don’t need to know, I’m fine, I’m FINE, this isn’t corru - NO, DON’T THINK ABOUT IT! YOU CAN’T—

They’re yelling outside. Arguing, probably. (And true to form, Pearl‘s cries are the shrillest.) But he can’t be certain of anything anymore while smothered under the fog’s thickening surface, with the rest of the world relegated to mere static and stimuli. Not a word, not a clue. No way to know if it’s an argument about him or with him.

And in his mind their distress stands as yet another sign. Just another slice of proof that they truly are at their happiest without him, that his continued existence only serves as a complication. He can’t deny it anymore. He can’t lie, can’t tiptoe around the inevitable truth; like this, he’s nothing but a liability. A ticking time bomb, set to shatter everything and everyone in his path. Shaking like a leaf, he unfurls his fists, watching as the dull pink hide overtakes the last clear patches of flesh upon his misshapen, monstrous fingers.

They’re better off without you.

The passing seconds cease to exist as he convulses again, this time centralized at the base of the spinal column. He doubles over, leans into the pain. Rides it through vertebrae by vertebrae, raking his claws deep into the wood floor as a fifth limb emerges from where the spine left off, steadily lengthening— fortifying itself with jagged crystalline spikes as it grows ever longer. Its weight is entirely foreign, yet it shifts upon his slightest command. Panic overruling all logic once more, he thrashes about, the tail swinging across the bathroom counter like a whip. His toothbrush, comb, and other various toiletries he hasn't made use of in days clatter to the floor, abandoned.

R u n.

The thought rampages through his shattered soul like an avalanche. Yanks him by the horns. Consumes his mind and body like a trance. He has to escape from here, from the house, the Gems, has to run quick, before it’s too late and you can’t do anything more but wordlessly scream.

He doesn’t stop to question this impulse. Doesn’t stop to peer at that poor tortured creature in the mirror again. For a moment his claws struggle to grasp the crumpled door knob, fumbling in failure’s wake.

When he finally forces the door open, the whole world holds its breath.

Pearl’s eyes blow wide upon the no-doubt horrifying sight. Her hands fly to her mouth. “Steven?!”

Even Amethyst reacts in an adverse manner, stepping back towards the support of the wall. “Holy...” she breathes, face paling.

And just knowing he’s out here now, every gnarled, nightmarish feature exposed in front of his family like a raw nerve, makes his blotchy, spot-covered skin crawl.

“DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’m FINE!” he hollers as he sprints to the warp pad, barbed tail whipping wildly behind him. Pearl yelps in alarm as she only barely dodges its mace-like swing. Unable to hold back his sobs anymore, he collapses to his knees on the hard crystal. Coils his tail around himself by sheer instinct. Hides his face away behind arms. Hot tears spill from his eyes, vision blurring and sharpening in rhythm to the unbearable ache pounding in his head. “I’m fine,” he whispers pathetically, voice catching.

He can practically feel the vibrations through the floor as someone approaches. It’s Garnet. He doesn’t know how he knows, but it can only be her. His breath hastens against his better wishes. Can’t stop, won’t stop, can’t stop... The vision of the temple door begins to pirouette in dizzy circles around him as he arches his back, and with a sharp gasp feels something tear its way through his shirt and jacket right above his spine, all jagged and spiked and— NO! He grinds his jaw together, shrinking further into himself. Not real. It’s not real, not real, not—

“Steven,” she says in a measured tone as he heaves for air. (No, with hesitation. Fear. She’s hesitating because she’s afraid of you, she’s afraid because you’re a monster NO.) “I know you’re hurting, but I need you to take a deep breath with me, and try to calm down. Please, let us help you...”

A heart wrenchingly familiar hand reaches out to him, adorned by a ruby gem and a golden wedding band. His fingers clamp around thick, greasy curls, brushing against the horns protruding from his temples. A keening cry slips out from his mouth against his better wishes. They want to help. They only want to help...

He peeks at her through the crook of his arm, his most likely reddened, blotchy eyes meeting hers. She’s taken off her visor. She’s crying too.

For a glimmer of a second, he considers reaching out. Taking her offered hand with his own clawed one. But then...

Haven’t you been a burden enough already?

His face screws up, and his hands clench into fists.

“NO,” he shouts, slamming them down upon the warp pad. It activates, (blessedly still accessible at this early stage of corruption NO don’t think about it!!), glowing a bright cyan as he envisions where he wants to go: no particular destination in his mind but away, away, away.

After all, he already knows he’s a monster.

So... he might as well become one too.

_____

Notes:

Some days you just gotta have an entire mental breakdown and go full wyrm, y'hear?

HCs I tapped into for this fic:

After being healed, formerly cracked Gems take longer to reform than Gems who were only poofed. Peridot will be okay eventually, she just hasn’t reformed quite yet.

Steven is still able to warp because he hasn’t quite passed the threshold of corruption that prevents a Gem from accessing the warp stream. I imagine it's very much a matter of mental connection, and having the right presence of mind to tap into it. Probably a few minutes after this, if Steven were to continue going downhill and his mind fully fell into the fog of corruption, he’d no longer be able to warp. He got super lucky here.

This potential future blindsided Garnet because previously- like how Steven’s newfound maturity threw her off as discussed in Pool Hopping- she hadn’t factored in the idea of Steven being in such a low mental state. Amethyst was the first to really see past his attempts to mask it because she personally had dealt with depression like this before and knew what it looked like.

Maybe one day after SUF airs I'll write more on this topic, but as for now this will remain a one-shot. I 100% imagine Steven would ultimately be okay in this timeline, though. They'd be able to help him, stop the corruption. Steven goes to heckin' therapy. He'll live on, he'll begin to recover and cope. But that's a whole 'nother story.

Thank you for reading!

#su #su future #steven universe #corrupted steven theory #su fanfic #garnet #amethyst #pearl #su fanfiction #corrupted steven #corrupt!steven #body horror #my writing stuff #the mighty 500

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jjba-hell · 3 years

Text

Fate and Fortune

Part 17.

You can find part 16 here for a refresher but the rest of the story is under the fate and fortune tag.

Moots :3 @fyre23 @risottoneroo

Getting a bit darker for this one with some familial trauma, hospitals, morgues and needles and such. Very Vera centered- the boys will be back real soon though- like I might double post to keep the story moving soon.

Arriving at the hospital she only agreed to the blood transfusion- her blood pressure getting a few concerned eye widenings from the nurses. But if there was one place she hated being in, it was a hospital. Especially in the state she was in.

The transfusion had just finished and the nurse was coming in with a gown and a drip.

“No.” She practically sprung up, pressing into the little hole in her right arm with the cotton ball taped to it. “I’m not staying the night.”

“Ma’am, do I need to fetch your guardian?”

“Is that a threat?” Vera almost hissed at the disinterested little nurse. Lucky for her Avdol came into the room with just a bandage around his neck. She figured she had healed him quick enough to avoid anything serious.

“I know you hate it-“ Avdol started with palms facing her as he approached her.

“No Avdol, I’m not staying.”

“Your blood pressure was too low- we’re gonna need to keep you for observation.” The nurse turned to Avdol as she spoke the next part. “Can we offer a sedative to help ease her hysteria?”

Vera’s jaw dropped. “A sedative-? Why you!” She lunged straight into Avdol’s arm- not that it was her intention.

“Vera! As soon as you get the green light, I’ll take you away myself but we can’t risk it at this point! We’ve come too far.”

He sternly put her back down beside the hospital bed- her gaze avoiding his own intense golden one. She never could argue with him.

“Fine, but you can forget the gown.”

He smiled, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I’ll have Jotaro bring you an overnight bag in about half an hour, would that be more agreeable?”

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.” She sat back down on the bed to let the nurse jab the needle into her arm and leave her be for the night.

Jotaro had only swung by briefly with her overnight bag in hand.

He watched as she fed her connected arm through her tank top before taking the bag from the hook and feeding it through the same shirt.

“You move pretty well for someone who was nearly limb locked in the car.” He grumbled from his seat across the room.

“Might have been the blood- I feel fine now.”

He only hummed in agreement as she crawled into the crinkling hospital bed patting the bed beside her.

“I can’t. They wouldn’t even let me in to drop your stuff off, let alone stay past visiting hours.

Her head dropped against the pillow in frustration- groaning. “Fuck.”

Vera hopped back up onto her feet and pulled the drip with her as she walked over to Jotaro with his elbows on his knees.

He rose up as she got closer, bending down to give her a kiss on her forehead- a gesture that would have shocked her if she didn’t know it was his way of leveling with her- Vera seemed to mellow out under such tender physical gestures, even if it wasn’t necessarily his first choice.

“I’ll be back by morning.” Was all he could say as he gave her hand one final squeeze before leaving the room.

“Good night.”

With a reluctant sigh she crawled back into bed.

In a sense the fever that hit her a few hours later brought relief to her- somewhat. The intensity of a stand fever could never compare to a regular fever. So when she shot out of the hospital bed at 3am as if she was on fire, it came as no surprise to her mind as her body searched for relief- any kind of relief.

Vera ripped the needle from her arm and on shaky legs pushed the hospital door open to a very dark and very empty hallway. Her own feet betrayed her and with an ugly thud she acquainted herself with the floor- which gave her just a temporary cooling relief for the heat but she needed more.

Maybe it was hallucinations of her own muddled mind but the sight of her mother at the end of the hallway... it sparked a strange sense of excitement.

“Mom?” Her voice came out raspy and distorted to her own ears. Her dad’s face peaked just a bit behind her mother’s raven hair- the two looking at her fondly, as if she was a silly child in the play park, as if they were trying to get her to come back home.

“Dad?” She stumbled up to her feet, using the wall to get closer to what she knew was probably a mirage.

“Come on, angel. You don’t have all the time in the world.” Her dad spoke softly but just as she had gotten close enough to fall into their arms they walked off down a different hallway.

“Don’t strain yourself too much, Vera.” Her mother called back but how could she listen when all she wanted was to hold them one more time. The chance was right in front of her, right now! When would she ever get the chance again so while clutching the walls for support she ran after them.

Three more hallways, down two flights of stairs and one more hallways- she pushed past the swinging doors to what she could only in that moment puzzle together was the very reason she dreaded being in the hospital- the morgue.

“This one’s empty, angel. It might be a bit intense but it should help you think more clearly.”

Was it a stand attack? She wasn’t sure anymore. But when her hand gripped the metal door lock and opened, the cold flowing from the freezer hitting her body seemed too welcoming to ignore. She slid the tray out only about half way to climb on and slide herself back in.

The relief she felt was almost instant the second her skin met the metal table and then enveloped as she slid in.

Her breath seemed to come easier, so she turned on her stomach- keeping her hand on the edge of the door so she could still leave when she woke up from the fever dream.

And a fever dream it was. Soon as her head lolled down against her own arm and her eyes slid shut she was thrown into the little sun room she and her parents would have breakfast in. Sitting on the slightly uncomfortable little chair as she stared down at her bowl of granola and dried fruits. Beside her, her parents had their favorite breakfasts laid out in front of them. Her mom- avocado toast. And her dad- eggs Benedict.

When her mom spoke she spoke with a voice not just her own- “Vera.”

At the sound of her name she gave a deep breathe in, still not moving her eyes as the my fixated on the almond among her granola. “Do you blame yourself?” Her mother asked again.

Vera’s gaze lazily lifted up to meet her mother’s gaze. “What?”

“Well it’s quite common in this situation for a survivor to feel a kind of... guilt, angel.” Her father spoke in the same voice- multiples with only his recognizable to her.

“What situation?” Was she supposed to feel guilty for climbing into the morgue freezer?

Her father smiled warmly at her, as if the answer was so simple. “The accident.”

As if to prove a point, a warm liquid dropped onto her lap and in panic she looked over at her mom- who was slumped over the now empty table- her throat bleeding out once more and her dad not too different.

Vera shot up from her seat and tried to scurry away, falling over her own chair in panic. Why couldn’t she close her eyes? “Why are you haunting me?” She whimpered- her hands shaking as she tried to bite back her tears. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry I let them disturb your peace! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to take care of you! I’m sorry I didn’t bury you properly!”

The tears blurred her vision just enough for her to blink them away and when she opened them again- the tiled sun room was gone and the three of them was knelt down in the middle of the desert- a scale between them. After a moment she realized she was on one side of the scale with her parents on the other- gaping holes in their chests.

“We had found peace the first time we were buried, my angel.” She looked between her parents, both of their throats scarred but healed at least- Vera’s heart sat stubbornly in her throat.

The answer to the first question they had asked her finally came to mind and with a few breaths, trying to steady herself she answered. “It was my fault. I was supposed to take care of you! It’s my fault you’re dead in the first place!” She clawed into her knees, tears falling onto her striped pajama shorts. “I was weak and useless and I’ve been getting stronger for what? When all of this is over- regardless of outcome- I won’t ever be able to see you again. I’d give anything just for you hold me again.”

Vera felt like a child throwing a tantrum. Her parents were long gone and here she was, screaming at the figments of her own imagination- as if they could change the despair in her heart.

The sand beneath her legs seemed to shift and change once more and the comforting touch of her mother- so accurate she’d swear it was real- came to rest on her shoulder, soon joined by her father’s.

She had wished for an embrace so bad and they had complied. Her mom stroked her hair as her dad held them all close- the warmth being so welcoming.

“You have to stop blaming yourself, angel. You have to let go.”

Vera hid her face in the crook of her mother’s neck. “I miss you so much, how can you ask something like that of me?”

“You have to stop binding yourself to this pain, Vera. You need to stop looking back.” Her father squeezed them in tight a bit more.

That moment, she could have stayed in forever, travel in the underworld surrounded by their love. But the ground gave out all around them- wherever they were and not before long she had slipped from their grasp and said goodbye for the very last time.

With a jerk on impact in her dream she twitched herself awake in the freezer. Her fever was still raging but there was no way she was going to endure it in a morgue.

Four in the morning she had called a cab and asked to stop at the convenience store outside the hotel. The world spun as she got out of the car and picked up four bags of ice which she paid with whatever cash she could find in her pocket.

In the cab she slipped a few ice cubes into the back of her shirt on quietly suckled on one in her mouth as the cabby drove- the confused look he gave as he watched her bring a cold hand to the back of her neck.

After paying for the cab and booking in at the front desk she pried the plastic bags of ice open and poured it into the bathtub. Thankfully it was a fancy hotel and she didn’t have to worry about a dirty tub. The cold water hadn’t even started to float the ice before Vera laid her back down on the ice and let the water creep up behind her.

The ice felt like it was melting fat too quickly against the rampant fever overtaking her body. She let the water run until her head was floating in the surface along the ice- closing the taps with a sigh.

At least this round felt easier. The pain and heat were intense but she had just enough control to try and focus on keeping herself alive. It seemed bizarre still, though- having a second stand fever? Someone with two stands was absolutely improbable... so was it Fortune? Were they- changing?

Vera lifted her head just enough to look at the time on the wall clock across the hotel room.

4:55.

Cool, five minutes. She promised herself she’d submerge herself for just five minutes- she’d managed this time before.

The cold enveloping her skin truly was soothing- she couldn’t help but wonder if her body enjoyed this ease of aches and pains when Avdol would dip her into the water like this- the first time round.

Her mind wandered around the sight of her parents’ gaping chests. Of course- her father had been a believer of the ancient faith. Her mother converted not long after they had met- even if her catholic roots still affected her view of the world- she was pretty sure there weren’t angels in Egyptian faith. At least they were together. Hearts weighed by Anubis and sent off to their afterlife... at least they were together.

What would weigh heavy on her heart? Would it be Enya’s blood on her hands? Would it be the loneliness she had become so well acquainted with in the cold rainy dorm room at the boarding school? Would it be the guilt and grief of missing her parents?

Let go.

It seemed so simple. To just let it all go.

“I have been letting go.”

The voice in her head sounded so much like her own. But the ones echoing behind it most certainly wasn’t you. “You’ve been running, Vera. Forgetting, not forgiving.”

The voice made her realize- she hadn’t been keeping count of how long it had been since her head was submerged. But when she tried to break the surface of the water- her forehead met with a layer of ice. It can’t be. She opened her eyes to look at the frosted surface of the water above her but the bathtub had suddenly become so much deeper. In the darkness seeming to stretch to the bottom of the ocean behind her, the rune symbols on Fortune’s dials glowed an ominous red.

“Why do you run?”

“Because the past can’t.”

They didn’t answer. But a sinking feeling around her right leg started to drag her down. Instinctually- she kicked and flailed her limbs to stay closer to the surface- unavailable as it was.

“Only you can remove the chains, Vera.”

The red runes became swallowed by darkness as her arms grew tired and Fortune watched her get dragged down.

It felt like she was sinking forever as she eventually gave up. Was it really that easy? What would happen if she reached the bottom? Would the water in her lungs become real and some reaper would come pick her up? Would they take the ball and chain with her?

The chains seemed so loose- maybe just a quick slip away from freedom.

But why bother? What was out there that she’d miss? The warm chai Avdol brewed on Sunday mornings? Would she be able to leave the boarding school after her graduation anyway?

Hugs. She’d miss the hugs. Even from Mr Joestar. Smoke break shenanigans with Polnareff. The looming safety of Jotaro’s presence behind her. Kakyoin’s gentle hand holds. It had only been what? A month since she’d even started to experience these things. How would it feel... once it was all over and the ball and chain was gone? Was it enough to find out?

If she could sigh, she would have. But instead she curled up a bit, unhooked the loose chain around her right ankle and let herself float.

Her hands broke the surface of the water first- the ice gone as quickly as it was there. Her breath came easy- as if she didn’t feel like she was drowning. Crisp and refreshing, very reminiscent to that same time she had woken from the first fever. When the cold shot right through to her bones, she knew the fever was over.

Her eyes slid open to meet Fortune standing beside the bathtub- a bit different from what they usually looked like with the new displayed dial in the center of their collarbone.

“I see why you don’t talk.” Vera laughed to herself, sinking a bit back into the water to lay her head on the edge of the bath.

Coincidentally her eyes met with the clock on the wall she had looked at before going under...

4:55.

“I guess that’s what the new dial is for.”

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part 3 #jotaro kujo #joseph joestar #noriaki kakyoin #jean pierre polnareff #muhammed avdol #fate and fortune #OC Vera #OC content

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beetlebop · 4 years

Note

Numbers 1 and 12 for the love tropes meme~? For the OG Juice man!

f/o love tropes asks

Aborted Declaration of Love: How long did it take for you to finally confess to your F/O? How did it go? Were there several attempts, or was it just The One?

it took fucking forever for me to confess to him cause I’m a big nervous baby. i work myself to do it numerous times and chicken out every single time cause I’m scared. I get a lot of pep talks from ghost mom and dad they mean well but I’m so fucking nervous about it that whatever they told me just goes right out the window. I honestly probably confessed on accident like he made me laugh and something and I just smile at him and go “god I love you” and he just whips his head around really fast at that and just stares at me. It takes a minute but I finally realize what I said and get really embarrassed and flustered and just go “I have to go” and go out of the room super fast and lock myself in the bathroom and just cover my face in my hands and scream cause I just said what I’d been hiding for months. he for sure follows cause he’s not about to not have an answer why. he’s thrown for a loop sure but he’s also super smug about it. he ignores the locked door and pops up inside finding my embarrassed ass and I’m like fuck this is the worst possible thing and immediately start word vomiting all over the place like it’s ok if he doesn’t feel the same way it just slipped out and he probably didn’t like a silly little breather like me anyways and he just zips my mouth closed literally and goes “babes why do you think i even bothered to stay around this shithole? sure stirring up shit for the Maitlands and deetz is fun and all but I stayed for you.” and oops there I go I’m crying and he doesn’t know what to do except unzip my mouth and look away awkwardly and I just hop up and immediately rush to hug him

Accidental Hand Hold: When did you first hold hands with your F/O?

Lydia probably put on a scary movie to watch and forces me to watch with her and keatlejuice just tags along cause he likes making fun of breather movies tbh and me being the scardy cat i am I probably unconsciously reach out and hold his hand. hes fucking confused as all hell cause he’s way scarier than anything in this damn movie and yet I’m holding his hand as if my life depended on it. he’s not complaining though. nope not one bit.

After-Action Patch-Up: How does your F/O react when they see you got hurt? How do they tend to your injury?

oof boy if he ever sees that I’m hurt he’s immediately pissed the fuck off and ready to find whoever did it and send them to a worse fate than death. spoiler alert: it was me most of the time. once he calms down he definitely goes and grabs shit outta the bathroom cabinet and cleans my wounds and put band-aids on them. I just hold out my wounded area and go “kiss it better?” and he grumbles but totally does it. it’s only cause I asked not that he wanted to do that

Almost Kiss: What was your first kiss with your F/O like?

It wasn’t anything special just mostly him sliding up to where I was grabbing my waist and dipping my down and planting a big old smooch on my lips and I’m so frazzled I don’t kiss him back and he sets me back on my feet with a grin and starts to walk away and I just reach forward and grab his arm and he turns back at me with a brow quirked, grin still on his face, and I lean up to kiss him on the mouth which he returns obviously

Beautiful Dreamer: Who’s usually the first to fall asleep while the other stares and admires?

I always fall asleep first once it gets late enough or I just get sleepy. I always end up falling asleep on him on top of him an he just lazily runs his fingers through my hair with the most loving smile watching me sleep. Lydia has pictures of these little encounters and he wants to burn them cause he ain’t soft no matter what she says.

Bodyguard Crush: How does your F/O make you feel safe?

Makes sure if we are in public to just generally touch me maybe a hand snaked around my waist pulling me next to him, ready to fight / murder anyone that even dares to look at me or make me uncomfortable. if I’m scared he lets me snuggle into him arm draped across me drawing patterns into my back. just like being around?? something about his whole presence makes me feel super safe.

Caught In The Rain: How does your F/O react if a sudden rainstorm interrupts your date with them?

gets really grumpy and angry for sure ready to 100% fight the weather and / or that stupid breather weather man for getting the weather wrong but that all stops once I start yawning and I lean forward rest my head on his shoulder. eh maybe that’ll get done later, much later

Grow Old With Me: How long have you and your F/O been together?

if we are talking real time? it’s about 8 years it’s been a really long time time for me and him honestly

Laugh Of Love: What are some things your F/O does to make you laugh?

cracking jokes! complete with references and costume changes! definitely pulls out the sexually charged jokes once he knows that I laugh at those too. just yells out curses sometimes and it just gets me so tickled I snort, “gosh babes you’re making me fall to pieces with how hot you look” cue him actually falling apart and me crying from laughing so hard, scares people cause it always, always makes me laugh and he loves that.

Love Epiphany: When and how did you realize you loved your F/O? When and how did they realize they loved you?

I probably figured it out once I realized I was constantly staring at him way too long and getting caught every single time and he just winks at me going “like what’cha see, baby?” and I get embarrassed and almost blurt out that I do and I’m like fuck shit oh no fuck I love him shit for him he’d probably have to be beat over the head by barb and Adam about it and he’d deny it rambling that “he doesn’t like breathers especially ones not cute little pretty ones who laugh at his jokes and has a fuckin cute laugh. it’s not like he’s thought about kissing her — he means breathers — all the time and he definitely hasn’t thought about wanting to fuck her senseless definitely not.” and oops did he confess yes. but fuck you.

Marry For Love: Are you and your F/O married? If so, how was the wedding like? If you aren’t, do you plan on getting married, and if so, how would you like it to be like?

listen I have stated before that I would 1000% get over my commitment issues for this fool but that being said it’s gunna take a lot for me to actually agree. he’s been trying boy has he been trying. I do call him my husband off hand sometimes and he just goes “wanna make it official then, babes?” and maybe one day I’m just like “yes” and he’s already prepared for my whole “yes but not right now” speech and he’s thrown off for a second but he so genuinely happy because he’s been trying to marry me for ages. the wedding wasn’t anything big he took over the house again for it though and insisted that I’d wear the dress he made me with his powers — he wasn’t about to let his girl go wear some dumb old breather dress. he totally wears the same suit he did during lydia’s wedding cause that’s all he has and my dress is obviously a black and white motif. Barbara and Lydia did my makeup and he actually bought stole a ring — it’s a tarnished sliver ring with a emerald in the middle

Post-Kiss Catatonia: How did you and your F/O react to your first kiss together?

I was a fucking mess and couldn’t think straight bc holy shit we’re kissing we’re kissing we’re kissi—

he on the other hand hand been wanting to do this since day one and is really happy he did it especially after I decided to kiss him back. he’s smug about the whole thing but also he has the most zonked out look on his face the fucking sappy bastard. he decides right then and there he likes kissing me so he’s going to do it any chance he gets.

#hello yes me and keatlejuice are married and hes my fuckin’ husband :)#semidemi minigod #beetlebop.asks

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powerovernothing · 5 years

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Of your three boys, Lucian, Martian and Korbin, who is the best at monopoly? (if they played monopoly) Who tries to cheat? Who gets upset when they loose?

Hehehe, oh my goodness. Leave it to my dearest Mistress Sis to not only send me the absolute best types of messages with the very best questions based around my incredibly silly Assassin like, and Priestly children, but to turn around and send me one that is just so adorable and made me giggle like the utter fool I am when I first read it in my askbox? Well now, how could I not do everything with my power to put together the best and perfectly fitting answer to all your precious wondering?

I’m just a bit ashamed that it took so long to get around to answering this properly, though! Mostly because, early on when I was putting together what I wanted to reply with, I knew I wanted to include several things, and one of those things was a piece of a story of mine that actually wasn’t edited at that moment! So, I had to set a few things aside, put the answer on hold, and do what I could to make sure the story turned out well, and good enough for you to look oover when I finally got around to posting this on my blog!Well, now it has, and not only that, but I have several more amusing things to speak of in regards to three foolish boys! And what would happen when, not if, they played Monopoly, and what becomes of their little games when they get too involved in brotherly antics! Check out everything below, and thank you so much for sending me lovely questions about Korbin and his brothers! You know I always have and will forever dearly appreciate it!

Let’s dive in!

(*~*Tons of lengthy discussions, snippets, and screenshots based around the boys in the Modern Verse behind the cut!*~*)

Honestly, it should go without saying that anything that the boys end up doing together, no matter if it’s a simple board game, or a round of snowball fights in the late of night, it is most certainly going to turn from being innocent and simple, to over the top, dramatic, and super childish. Korbin and his siblings are incredibly competitive, and they always are trying to find ways to outdo the other in some way.

Without a doubt, Korbin and Lucien are the very worst offenders for this happening, but you would be surprised to find out Martin is just honestly as bad!

Perhaps that is what happens when you live with Assassins for so long, or perhaps its just because Lucien brings out that side of you. Whatever the case may be, anything can go from a fun little game, to a full on war without hardly much effort. Case in point? When the boys were trying to pass the time during a storm and were playing Uno together:

Korbin: [pleading] “Brother please, you cannot do this to me!”

Lucien: “Forgive me, my Silencer, but I must. It is as fate has foretold.”

Martin: [aghast] “How could you, Lachance, and to Korbin of all people?! I would never have thought you to be capable of such heartless betrayal!”

Lucien: “You should know by now, Septim, just what it is I am capable of. But even so, understand I surely have no other choice.”

Lucien:

Lucien: [places a Draw 4 card down upon the table] “Uno.”

(This is an unposted Incorrect Quote, but if you like it, I can totally upload it as a proper post!)

See what I mean? Or perhaps you would rather see what happens when they spend an afternoon playing laser tag together, after Korbin chose to drag both of his older brothers there to help them vent and let off some steam, after they spent far too much time together, and it wound up turning into a screaming match for Divines and Sithis only know what reason!

“Lu-Lucien? …Brother, Iwill… I will have you know if this is your attempt at a joke, it isn’t funny inthe slightest…” He mumbles unsteadily; continuing to shake Lucien’s still andunmoving shoulders with both hands. Lightly at first, but then more desperatelyas he attempts to rouse him in vain. “…You stupid bastard, I know you can feelme shaking you, so wake up! Wake up and say something! Anything! I don’t care what… don’t just lay there!”

As the growing silence engulfshis senses and clouds every thought, Korbin ceases his futile shaking and laysLucien flat upon the ground. Bowing his head – and knowing he would never againfind comfort within the once shared sanguine tinted twilight – he grasps onto partof Lucien’s dress shirt as broken tears slip down his cheeks and feels himselfslowly succumbing under the weight of his grief.

“…Don’t leave me, Lucien… please…” He whispers, wishing for someform of a miracle, for one moment more, for a chance to say all that hadremained unspoken… and yet just as soon as such feelings of frailty comes, theyare quickly replaced with a newfound anger – and an uncontrollable rage.

“Damn you, Septim, you havegone too far!” He cries out to the emptiness, once sorrowful prayers nowconsumed with a need for vengeance, as he dearly hopes his target will somehow hearhim and know what was coming. “No matter our bond, no matter what love weshared, it is over! I will hunt you down for what you have done, for whom you havetaken from me, and I will end your life by my own hand! You will beg for deathbefore the end, but no mercy shall come to you! I will make absolute certain ofthat!”

And in the aftermath of Korbin’sincredibly dramatic threat, Martin responds by carefully stepping out of the darkenedcorner he was listening in from. Standing across from where his chosen siblingsremained close together over the carpet in an extended moment of uncomfortable silence,Martin exchanges a dark glare with Korbin…and then finally loses himself to thecackling laughter he struggled, but ultimately failed, to suppress despite hisbest attempts to stay in character throughout the course of the over the top performance.

“For the love of Akatosh, onlyyou two –” Martin gasps for breath in-between giddy giggling and reachesup to wipe at the amused tears with the back of his hand. “—only you twowould take something as innocent as a simple game of laser tag – which isabsolutely meant for children, no less! – and somehow find the means totransform it into a brutal war reenactment!”

This is apart of one of my newer fan fictions I uploaded to my blog entitled “Bitter Are The War Between Brothers”, which you can find the rest of right behind this little link here if you’d enjoy reading the over the top antics, and incredibly hammy performances!

Outside of those examples there, however, I’m pretty certain even a simple game of Monopoly would end turning into some sort of death battle with these idiots at the wheel. I mean, two of them can’t even get through a simple game of chess without Lucien trying to break the rules at some point, because he absolutely despises how talented Martin is at the game!

Do you think he’s above trying to distract his brother and change the pieces when he isn’t looking? Not hardly! In fact, that’s just the kind of petty thing he would do, because he’s tired of losing, tired of looking like a fool, and just wants to win some game between himself and Septim at some point, dammit! He doesn’t care what he has to do to make it happen!

So, Lucien would absolutely cheat while playing, because Martin is simply too good at money management, and hotel strategies, and would end up in jail more often than the others. Korbin and Martin would absolutely make some sort of jest about him being behind bars – and how it suits him, and reminds them of the many times they had to bail him out in real life – and Lucien would most likely just grumble and then flick one of the die or one of his little houses at their heads.

To which Martin would not approve of, and then give him a longer sentence.

So, Lucien would be the cheater, and Martin would be the one who plays the very best, and has the most money and properties – I mean, after all, he is a Emperor in another non modern life, hehe – and Korbin… he would do his best to try and play fair.

In the beginning.

But then at some point he would get frustrated with Martin as well, and would ‘bail’ his brother out of jail, and then stage a revolt against Martin and try and destroy, or at the very least, blow up all of the hotels he has. Which would include over the top sound effects from Korbin, lots of giggling from all three of them, but sadly would not actually do anything to overthrow Martin and simply cause both Korbin and Lucien to wind up in jail together.

…In short? Martin is the smug victor with tons of money, Lucien is incredibly annoyed and close to flipping the table, and Korbin just really wants to play Go-Fish next. What exactly would that round of Go-Fish – which would ultimately turn into a serious round of Poker – entail, you may ask? Well, if you’ve been paying attention to all my rambling, you should know by now…

When Assassin’s want their revenge upon those who wronged them, it can only end… bloody.

But honestly, I do believe I am simply being just a tad bit silly! All in all, when it comes to the boys and the idea of them interacting and playing games like a normal family… well, I don’t honestly think they know the meaning of the word ‘normal’. I think that got lost somewhere around the time two Hitmen adopted a Sunday School Teacher – at least in the Modern Verse – and brought him into their shadowy little world. Basically, at the end of the day, everything between them will end up being turned into a competition.

Everything.

Even in the Revised Timeline, Lucien and Korbin always try to one up each other when it comes to their Assassination contracts and which has the best murdering tactics to fell their targets, and Martin and Lucien try to show up the other with various forms of magic, potions, or other rule breaking means when they spar to catch the other off guard and land the ‘killing’ blow.

No matter the world, no matter the verse, some things never change, hehe~!

In any case, my dear lovely and darling Mistress Sis, I hope that provided you with a few answers, and maybe a few giggles just as well! I honestly adored seeing you send me this message, and I honestly loved taking the time out to answer it – and answer it properly! I know it took a while, and I know you had been waiting for a bit, but I hope it was worth it in the end! Even despite the length, whoops!

Thank you so very much for sending this my way, as well as the rest of the questions that I will be doing my best to answer over the next little while.

You always pick at my brain in the best ways, and always ask the best things about the boys, and I always appreciate it. Just as I always have, and always will, super appreciate you. Thanks so much again, darling! Tons of hugs and kisses, and lots of love coming your way~! ♥

#jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear #The Knight The Emperor And The Assassin~#The Knight The Emperor And The Assassin Modern AU~#Long Post~#Very Long Post~#Oh goodness this wound up taking so much longer than I first envisioned it taking!#And not only that but it wound being longer than I first thought it would have been as well!#I guess when it comes to my dear darling Mistress Sis and her amazing questions I just can't help myself and get a bit carried away!#I honestly hope you enjoy all of this despite the length and you have a fun time reading it over!#You always inspire me in the best sort of ways when it comes to the boys and I always love hearing the kind of things you ask about them!#They're always so fun and I love expanding your knowledge of their story and their world!#Even the Modern Version of it!#But honestly thanks again for this!#I really had a fun time putting this together -- as you can plainly see -- so I hope you have a fun time reading it over~#You're the best and I love you always!#So does the boys!#Tons of hugs and kisses all around~! ♥

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endless-vall · 6 years

Text

I’ll be there for you - Matt x MC fanfic

Summary: While Jey’s being bullied by Victor, Tad and the entire production of their film, Matt suffers too. He decides to ease his pain by paying a visit to Jey and spending a lovely evening with her.

Author’s note: Moments in-between are one of my favorites.

I’ve written this before the latest chapter came out, but it still works.

I sometimes forget how precious Matt is, and it’s sooo fun to write about them.

Even if RCD 2 is really heavy-plotted, there’s still place for some feel-good content. I hope they resolve it soon, since Jey’s position... Well - Sucks.

Tagging: @writtenbycandy @mariamatsuo @asprankle @liam-rhys @dandeservestheworld. Comment on this post to let me know if you wanna be tagged as well.

Matt plopped down on the couch in his living room, after a long day of shooting.

He was feeling bad they were cutting out Jey's role in the movie, and his blood boiled when he thought on the other things Victor tried to do to her.

He didn't have a chance to chat with her today, so he took out his phone, shooting a message to her.

'How are you?' - Matt.

It was a stupid question. Obviously she wasn't doing OK.

But he couldn't think of anything better to write and she was his girlfriend after all. Even if they had to hide it in the moment.

Matt swallowed as he went through the news tabloids, that were trashing Jey's name once again. He knew all of it was a lie but it still infuriated him.

He bumped into a photo session of a 'date' of Charley and hers. He frowned at that, anger and jealousy forming in the pit of his stomach.

He took a deep breath, reminding himself once again it was all a lie. It wasn't real.

It wasn't like Matt wasn't familiar with the showbiz, he knew it well and even faked a relationship with Alissia Griffin himself.

But maybe the difference was tgat now he had something real and amazing in his hands. Something that he didn't want to be taken away from him. Something- SOMEONE he cared about dearly and didn't wanna see get hurt, even though it was inevitable, because Victor had already hurt her, and was set out for more.

Matt decided he'd do whatever he could, in the meantime, for her. Everything she'd need, everything their plan needed, in order to succeed.

Checking his chat window he sighed when Jey didn't respond to his message yet, deciding to call her instead.

He dialed her number and held the phone to his ear, waiting patiently for her to pick up.

"Uhh... Hello?" Her voice came out as some what of a yawn, and Matt immediately chuckled.

"Did I wake you up?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"Mhm, yeah. But that's fine. It's a nice change of pace, hearing your voice as I wake up." Jey noted, her voice turning into a gentle tone.

Matt furrowed his eyebrows, realizing how hard it must've been for her lately. If the hell Victor was unleashing upon wasn't bad enough, she barely had her friends and him to support her.

Victoria, Seth, Teja and even Chazz were kind of busy lately, and he was instructed not to be seen with her in public.

He cherished the moments they shared in private, but he wanted more.

He couldn't wait for the moment they'll take Victor down and could determine their own fate.

He decided, once they're done with this film and this conflict they've fallen into, he'd ask Jey to go public with him. He was ready for it, and had a feeling she was feeling the same.

"It's really nice to hear your voice as well." He smiled at her, imagining her in bed, all sleepy and cuddled up in her blankets. He wished he could be the one cuddling her.

But actually, he could.

"Do you mind if I drop by?" He asked, suggesting.

"Please do."

Jey didn't waste any moment and her answer was immediate, tone eager and pleased.

"On my way." He promised, standing up and heading to the door.

A quick car ride later he was standing in front of her door. Knocking on it once, the door flew wide open and Jey attacked him with a hug.

"I missed you so much..." She murmured against his chest, as Matt's own hands wrapped around her tightly.

"I did too. You have no idea..." He buried his face in her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo mixed with Jey's natural smell. It might've been silly but he missed it too.

They stood there for a long moment, taking each other in.

After what seemed like forever, they pulled apart, grinning at each other despite their overall grim situation.

"Come in," Jey said, taking ahold of his hand and pulling him even before he got the chance to respond.

Matt didn't complain, though, and followed her willingly.

Once they were inside the house, Jey shut the door behind him and sighed. It was both a desperate and relived sigh.

Matt gave her a little shove, making her giggle. "Thanks for coming here." She told him, and it was visible that she was grateful for his presence. She looked a lot calmer even by just the fact he was there.

He planted a peck on her cheek. "Thanks for having me." He gave her another kiss, this time on her lips. He lingered there, caressing her softly and sweetly.

Jey rose to her tip-toes, kissing him back and burrying her hand in his hair.

His hair wasn't really long enough for her to run her fingers through it, but it was enough for her to tug at it lightly and earn a growl from him.

She giggled once again, against his lips just before they pulled apart again. Their hands remained wrapped around one another, their faces merely inches apart.

"What do you wanna do?" Jey asked him, cheered up.

"I thought we could watch a movie or something." He suggested. "Order some takeout, some snacks..." He went on, seeing sparkles in her eyes.

"You had me at snacks." She let him know, untangling herself from his embrace and walking over to her phone, to order the promised takeout.

"Really? At snacks? I thought I had you at 'Oh! It's you!' In your audition with Markus." Matt teased, settling beside her.

Jey burst into a good-natured laughter, dialing some fast-food restaurant's number.

"You're basically right, but you know this wasn't what I meant." She replies to him and then motions for him to be quiet, as she hears response from the other side of the line.

About twenty minutes later, everything they could think off was spread out before them, and they munched on some fries as the movie they chose began.

They chose to watch some light-hearted comedy, to ease off both their minds off other matters.

Seeing any one of Tommy's movies, or something reminding the blockbusters Matt appeared in, would be an annoyance they didn't want to deal with. And didn't have to, as well.

-- They made bad jokes as the movie started, making fun of even the non-comic aspects of the film. It was a good distraction and an easy way to let go of everything that was worrying them at the moment.

Jey threw a bunch of fries at Matt, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Oh no you didn't!" He fake-threatened her, tackling her into the couch and showering her with kisses.

"Gahhh!" Jey was caught off-guard, but she was enjoying the attention and kisses. Matt started tickling her and Jey couldn't control her laughter, rolling throughout her grand mansion.

"Fine! I give up! I give up, just spare me!!" She begged, eventually, and Matt ceased his doing.

"For you? Darling, always." He planted a kiss on her nose and turned back, to keep watching the movie.

Jey shook her head, chuckling to herself as she caught her breath. She positioned herself on her elbows, watching Matt intently.

He drank his soda, seeing her staring from the corner of his eyes.

Lowering his cup just a little, he questioned. "See something you like?".

"Definitely." She leaned in, placing one hand on his chin and making him turn his face towards her. "More than like, actually."

Matt could've sworn he saw blush forming on her cheeks. Then pink-ish color decorating her face somehow managing to make her look even more adorable and beautiful than the usual.

He hesitated, considaring his next move, before locking his eyes determinedly with hers. "Me too." He admitted.

They shared a long, meaningful look, before Jey rested their foreheads together. "Thank you for coming tonight, Matt, seriously." She smiled at him, her tone giving away how much it really meant to her.

Matt blinked his eyes close, caressing her face and holding her close. "Don't worry. I wanted to. Really." His tone was serious and deep.

Suddenly, a huge noise hit off from the TV's speakers, as something went off in the movie.

Jey and Matt bursted into laughter, both startled and amused by the movie they were watching.

The movie went on, and they finished their junk food. Matt laid back, motioning for Jey to lean over him.

She agreed momentarily and then rested her head over his chest, humming happily.

They was something incredibly pure and intimate in that moment, even though for the naked eye it would seem they simply cuddled up to watch a silly movie, nothing special or unnatural about that.

Matt pulled Jey closer, rubbing soothing circles over her back. He savored every second of that evening, having Jey all to himself.

He kissed her temple, as he felt her relax further into his embrace, drifting away into a blissful sleep.

He smiled to himself, seeing how peaceful she looked as she slept in his arms.

Soon, He promised himself. Soon, he'll be able to hold her every night, and chase away anything that could heavy her mind.

#playchoices #playchoices fanfic #red carpet diaries #rcd #matt rodriguez #matt x mc #red carpet diaries 2 #fanfic #my writing

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writingtostaysane · 6 years

Text

Prolouge

I finished it and I’m just gonna go ahead and post it. I didn’t do too much editing since I’m a bit tired rn and I currently don’t have a beta.

Word count: 5013

Taglist: @flyingsassysaddles , @ask-the-new-columbian-colonies, and @dustjacketdreamer

If you want to be added to or removed from the taglist, just message me. Currently, I’m only tagging the people who liked/reblogged the post about the taglist.

Now here’s the chapter.

---

It was a warm day in May when Elise had asked Annie that fated question. The pair had been walking home from school, chatting on and on about a wide variety of topics, as they often found themselves doing. There was a slight breeze and the branches of nearby trees were swaying back and forth, causing leaves of an assortment of colors to glide through the air gently. As they walked, they would occasionally stop and stare at the view, the idyllic scene providing a sort of calm happiness to the girls.

Halfway through their route was a park that they often stopped at. Today they sat on a yellow bench underneath a willow tree in the middle of the park and talked about whatever was on their mind. Annie hadn’t been assigned any homework that day and neither had Elise, so they had time to spare. Underneath the willow tree was a spot favorited by the girls, and today was no different, the hanging branches giving them a sort of privacy to just enjoy the day.

The conversation had gotten on the topic of love for whatever reason, and it seemed that Elise had a lot to say. Always having been a passionate person, she could go on and on about something that meant something to her and somehow never boring her audience. It’s one of the traits that made her so popular at school. It was also one of the many reasons Annie adored her, but she wouldn’t say that out loud.

“I’ve never known why people believe in love at first sight. If you love someone, it’s not for their looks alone, right? It’s for all their strengths, all their flaws, all the things that add up to them as a person. Their smile, their laugh, that one quirk no one else has. Personality, brains, interests, looks too. There are so many things to love about someone. And being in love is loving all of those at the same time,” Elise had been saying.

She paused in her thoughts and turned to face Annie. The girls had been sitting side by side, and now the sudden movement brought them to sit face to face. This way Elise could get Annie’s attention better as she talked or at least that seemed to be the motivation. Either way, the sudden proximity made Annie very aware of how cute Elise looked in the afternoon light. The girl in question sighed and continued.

“Or maybe it’s not. I don’t really know, I’ve never had a relationship before. I’m still looking for The One, as people put it,” she winked, “But I’ve heard all about love from friends and family, and honestly, it sounds amazing. And it’s different for each person! Some people get this wistful expression on their face when they’re speaking about their love. Others speak of love as if it has wronged them in some way. These people are usually people who have been through a misfortune in love. But those who have suffered in love can also be sullen when it’s mentioned. It’s a bit heartbreaking to watch.”

The conversation had taken a sort of depressing turn, so Annie tried to think of something to change the topic slightly.

“Have you ever been in love?” Annie blurted out, only realizing what she had said a second later.

Elise stared at her in shock.

“I mean, I know you said you had never been in a relationship, but outside of that have you ever, well, how would you phrase it? Oh, I know.” Annie looked right at Elise and said, “Have you ever had a crush?”

At this, Elise’s shocked demeanor relaxed and a smile played at the edges of her lips.

“Well, I guess you could say that. There is definitely someone I favor right now. And in the past, I have had a few people I crushed on. But currently, it's more like someone I hold very dear to me even if they do not feel the same way. It's more like love than a schoolgirl's crush. Then again, the feeling is more like I feel like I'm supposed to stay with them forever, even if I might not love them fully right now. Like a soulmate, I guess? It might seem silly, but I do believe in soulmates. It's nice to believe that there's someone out there that you're destined to love with all your heart and soul. What do you think?"

While she said this, Elise slowly moved to take Annie's hands in her own, in a gesture that Annie could not understand. But as Elise looked into Annie's eyes, she asked that fated question.

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

---

Annie didn't know how to answer that. She had never given it much thought, dismissing it as wishful thinking. But if someone who she held so dearly was so passionate about the topic, that might give her incentive to think about it more.

So that's exactly what she did. After their conversation the girls went their separate ways, Elise heading to her house and Annie to hers. While walking, Annie went over everything she had ever heard about soulmates. The different kinds of soulmates, soulmate marks, people not seeing color before meeting their soulmate, everything. Most of it she dismissed as local legends, but some of it was still based in truth. There were cases of people claiming to have monochrome vision before meeting their 'soulmate' as they always referred to them. But nobody could determine if their word was real. Shaking her head she decided to continue to mull it over at a later point in time. She still couldn't decide if she believed in soulmates.

At this point, she had reached her house. It stood tall before her, sturdy and worn with love. Her family had been living there for generations, and she hoped to live there when she grew up. Annie walked through the front door into the small kitchen where her brother Davis was doing his homework and her dad was cooking dinner. It was peaceful. No drama, nothing confusing, just home. She dropped her blue cloth backpack at the door and grabbed her phone from its place charging on the counter. Her plan was to research more on soulmates to see if something could help her make up her mind. Turning to walk upstairs to her room, it hit her. She could just ask her parents. They were one of the best matches she had seen in her life, they fit perfect together. Almost as if they were soulmates. Looking over at her dad, she decided to ask him later since he was busy with preparing food and her mom was still at work. For now, she would have to settle for her original plan of surfing the Internet for information.

Once in her room, she closed the door and got her laptop from where it was sitting on her desk. Settling down onto her bed, she grabbed a blanket and threw it over herself and then got to work. There were several resources that she could check.

First, she started by searching 'What is a soulmate?' on Google. The first result was the dictionary definition: 'soul mate; noun; a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.' That was a start. So that was how she found herself spending the next hour researching soulmates until she was called down to dinner by her dad.

When she walked down the stairs, she saw that her mom and brother were already at the table. Greeting her mother, she took her spot next to Davis. Her dad served the meal and they started to eat. Halfway through the meal, Annie decided to ask the question she had wanted to ask when she first got home.

"Mom, Dad, I have a question," she asked.

Her parents both turned toward her, giving Annie their attention.

"Have you ever considered yourselves soulmates?" she asked tentatively.

They looked at her for a second, before looking at each and smiling.

"You could say that. I may admit that I thought that when I was younger when we had just started dating. It was so magical. We fit so well, it seemed to be almost too good to be true. Every time I saw your dad my heart fluttered and I felt a sort of admiration. Even before we were together, when we were just friends, it always felt right to be with him. Like it was destined. The feeling hasn't died over the years. If anything it's gotten stronger. It's nice to think we're soulmates. For all we know, they could exist. Even if science doesn't have any proof of them, sometimes it's a good idea to have some faith in the magic and the mystical. You never know. Fate could have stuck you with a person as wonderful as your dad," her mom answered, going off on a little tangent.

Her dad gave a little 'aww, babe!' quietly and leaned over to peck Annie's mom on the cheek. This caused her brother to pretend to gag at the obvious PDA. The whole family had a laugh at this and dinner continued in a pleasant manner.

Annie had a slightly alarming thought rush to her mind when she heard her mom's answer. The feeling her mom had described when she was younger and in love with her dad was familiar. The admiration. The rightness. The fluttering in the heart. It was all so familiar. Then she realized why.

It was what she felt every time she was around Elise.

Whenever she saw the other girl her heart fluttered, her face heated up slightly and she felt a sort of admiration past the feeling friends have for each other. As her mom put it, it felt so right to be around Elise. Even if she just realized it now, Annie was hopelessly in love with her friend. But that realization made her ask herself,

Are we soulmates?

---

A few months after that fateful day, the girls were once again walking home from school. This time it was fall and the color scheme of the trees lining their normal route had shifted the pink to red. It was the beginning of a new school year and for the 15-year-old girls, it was the start of a brand new school. They had just finished their first week of high school. The cool fall air provided a cool breeze and they were having fun talking about whatever came to their minds. But Annie kept thinking of a certain day that she couldn't get out of her head.

"Hey El, do you remember that day last May if you asked me if I believed in soulmates?" Annie asked, using the nickname she had given her best friend and crush.

"Yeah. Of course I do," came the reply.

"Well, I never got to give you my response. And I finally have my answer."

Elise looked at her, waiting for what she was going to say.

Annie took a deep breath, "I do believe in soulmates. And I think I've found mine."

Elise smiled happily at her answer. It looked like it was the one she wanted.

"Who?" she asked.

Annie took a deep breath.

"You," she replied.

At this Elise stopped. Nobody said anything for a few agonizing seconds. Annie panicked, repeating the same thought over and over in her head, 'I messed up. I messed up. I messed u-'

Her thoughts were broken by a small laugh. It was followed by another one and another one. The cute, bubbly laughs kept coming as a smile grew on Elise's face. Annie was hurt a bit, but also confused. Why was she laughing?

Elise turned to her, a look of adoration on her face.

"Really?" she asked Annie excitedly, "It's really me?"

"Yes," Annie said quietly, shocked at the excitement.

"This is so great! I never thought you would reciprocate what I felt. And to that extent-" Elise's smile grew until she was practically beaming, "Oh, this is wonderful!"

She attacked Annie with a hug and then let her go only to pick the other girl up and spin her around. There were smiles on both of their faces and they were both laughing with joy. Once they had calmed down, Elise took Annie hand in her own.

"So, what do we do now?" Elise asked as they continued to walk, "We both like each other. Should we be girlfriends?"

"I would like that," Annie said, a smile still on her face.

"Then it's official. You're my girlfriend, and I'm yours. I'm so happy!" Elise stated giddily, "Oh! Does this mean I can kiss you now? I've wanted to do forever."

"Yes. That means you can," Annie said with a laugh.

At that, her newly dubbed girlfriend hopped up and down in joy. Although it didn't seem that she was going to act on her wishes right away, as she continued walking. The pair headed down the path leading to the weeping willow that they had visited that fated day. To any passerby, a happier couple could not be seen. Happiness radiated off of them. It was truly a sight to be seen.

While they were walking, Annie spotted her other best friend Cameron. A sweet and caring person, they're known for having lots of friends and always being available if you need someone to talk to, even if they don't know you. Annie had known them even longer than she had known Elise, and that was saying something. Cameron spotted the pair immediately and walked over to them.

"Hey. You two still walking home?" they asked.

"Yeah. We had a small detour," Annie replied.

"I can see that," Cameron gestured to their clasped hands and smirked.

Annie blushed a bit at this and Elise gave a small giggle.

"So, what's the scoop? You two dating or what?" Cameron pried.

"Yup!" Elise replied excitedly.

Cameron's smile widened and they hugged the pair tightly.

"I'm so happy for you two! So who confessed first?"

Annie smiled embarrassedly. That was the only answer Cameron needed,

"You go, girl! Did you use that cheesy plan with you answering the question Elise asked that you told me earlier in the middle of gushing about her-" she teased.

"CAMERON! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW!" Annie half-shouted with a red face, not one to take teasing that well, even from a well-meaning friend.

Elise giggled and Cameron burst out laughing at the outburst.

"Aw! You were gushing about me, babe? That's so sweet," Elise cooed, still giggling.

Annie didn't know it was possible for her face to get any redder, but it did.

“Can… can we just move on? I’d prefer not to go home looking like a tomato,” she said.

Elise gave a slight giggle.

“Of course.”

And so the three spent the rest of the afternoon together, talking and laughing.

---

Annie was on her way to the library when her phone rang from inside her coat pocket. She took it out and pressed 'Accept', a bit distracted by the fall colors which were still as beautiful as ever. A soft smile on her face, she answered with a 'hello?'

"Hello. Is this Annalise King I'm speaking to?" A friendly voice replied.

A bit surprised at the use of her full name she responded, "Yes. And who is this?"

"Sue. I'm a receptionist at the local hospital. I'm calling to inform you that Elise Meyers was hit by a car last night and is currently residing in our hospital. She's in critical condition with a few traumatizing injuries such as damage to major organs and several broken bones. It doesn't seem like she'll survive past the next week," the receptionist explained solemnly.

Annie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Elise, dying? That couldn't happen. It won't happen! But it would and Annie couldn't handle that. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and a anger swept through her. She wanted to scream and kick and cry her eyes out all at the same time. But doing any of those things in the middle of the street would be extremely embarrassing and her having a fit of any kind did not seem justified in her eyes. Instead, she sucked it up and continued with the conversation. She just had too many questions. They were all swirling around in her head. But only one would come out.

"Can I see her?" she asked, voice breaking.

"Yes. Of course. I'm so sorry honey. Of course you can see her. She was probably very special to you. A good friend, or perhaps more. I won't pry. You will have all the time you need with her. I promise," the lady over the phone reassured.

The comforting words helped calm down the seemingly endless tears with the promise of being able to see Elise, but there was still that silent thought Annie didn't say aloud. All the time you have to offer me with Elise will never be enough to say goodbye.

Once the call ended, she abandoned all her plans to go to the library and slowly trudged home, wallowing in her own misery. For now, she was sluggish and slow from the sudden rush of emotions that had exhausted her, but she would soon find herself in a frenzied panic over the thought of saying goodbye to Elise. She sat down at a bench in a park, under that towering willow tree where this entire emotional rollercoaster had started. And now it felt like she was just on an extremely long downhill ride. Annie was numb and felt like her emotions had escaped her in favor of this emptiness.

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming sadness wash over her and all she could do was sit there, head in her hands and cry. And cry she did. A soft sniffling was all that could be heard from her as tear after salty tear rolled down her face and fell to the ground. She was shaking and her crying got louder, bit by bit, until sobs were racking her body and she couldn’t stop the streams of tears rushing down her face. Annie brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly, burying her face in them to muffle her cries of despair.

She stayed like that for a while. A few people passing by gave her strange looks, but no one bothered her. The sun rose higher in the sky and eventually, she stopped crying. She untangled her legs from the position she had been in for a few hours and stood up. Looking at her watch, she could tell she had been here for way too long. She probably looked like shit and she wasn’t exactly ready to go home yet. Annie didn’t feel empty anymore, but she still felt numb. She knew more emotions were to come, but for now, there were none there. Exhausted and hungry, she decided to get some coffee and maybe a pastry. When she got to the cash register and was about to order, the cashier spoke.

“Sis?” the cashier said in a soft voice.

Annie was confused for a second until she focused on the cashier. It was her brother. She had forgotten he worked here. Shit. Her eyes were still red. He was going to think she had been bawling her eyes out (which she had), but she didn’t want him worrying about her. She lowered her eyes a little and responded.

“Hey, Davis.”

“Are you okay? You look terrible,” he asked, concern in his voice.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to order some coffee.”

“Of course! Sorry, I’m just worried. How about you order and I take a break to talk to you while I’m not on duty?”

Annie thought it over. She did want someone to talk to, but she didn’t want to distract Davis from his job. But if he was taking a break, it wouldn’t harm his job if he talked to her for a bit.

“Ok. I guess that can work. Now can I get my usual and a buttered croissant?”

Her brother gave her a smile and ringed up her order. Once she had paid and gotten her food, she went to sit down at a table in the corner where she wouldn’t be bothered. After a bit Davis walked over to her table and sat down.

A small silence ensued.

“So, what’s wrong?” he asked cautiously

“Everything,” she responded dryly.

He sighed and shook his head, “Annie, that’s not what I meant and you know it. I’ll give it to you straight. Your eyes are red, you look like you’ve been crying all day. What’s. Wrong.”

Avoiding eye contact with her brother she started, “Well I was walking to the library and I got a call informing me that-” she started tearing up again, “that Elise was hit by a car. That she was in the hospital, and she isn’t going to survive,” she broke down crying quietly, not able to speak about the subject anymore.

Davis’s eyes widened in shock. He went over to his sister’s side of the table and hugged her tightly.

“I’m so sorry Ann. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better.”

She looked up at him and smiled sadly. Burying her face in his shirt, she cried until she calmed down. Thankfully, their location in the corner didn’t draw too much attention.

Davis sat down at his seat again once Annie was ready to talk again. He seemed to be thinking about something, until he finally spoke.

“Sis, I know all you want to do is continue crying all day, but that’s not going to help you deal with this. So here’s an idea. How about you go visit Elise in the hospital?” her eyes lit up at this, “You could be with her in her final moments and you would get a chance to say goodbye. You were probably already going to do this, but why not do it now? I’ll tell Mom where you are, don’t worry.”

She responded with a nod and a small ‘good idea’ before grabbing her bag to head out the door. She was about to leave when she turned around and hugged Davis tightly one more time.

“Thank you,” she said to him quietly.

And like that, she was out the door and on her way.

---

Her mind had been absent while she asked to borrow her mother’s car, getting permission with the promise to bring it back unscathed. On the road, she directed all her energy in not crashing on the way to the hospital. Racing through the city as fast as driving laws would allow her, she was getting more and more anxious to see Elise. What if she’s in a coma? What is she doesn’t remember me? What would I do? She quickly stopped that train of thought, it was too ridiculous, but continued to worry about other possibilities. She just couldn’t help herself.

When she got to the hospital, she parked the car and all but sprinted through the parking lot and up the stair to the front door. Forcing herself to breathe normally, she waited a moment before walking in, not wanting to look too desperate to see Elise as she would if she was panting and out of breath from running. The receptionist at the front desk smiled at her politely and asked what she was here for.

“I’m here to see my friend Elise Meyers.”

The receptionist smiled sadly at her, as if pitying her in some way.

“Of course sweetie. She’s right down the hall in Room 13. Just a thing you should know before you go in. We haven’t told her that she’s not going to survive past next week, to make her final days somewhat enjoyable. I didn’t get the doctors full intentions with not telling her she’s going to die, but I assume it’s to spare feelings. Telling someone they’re dying is always a tough conversation. The parents know, of course, and so do you. I wish you luck, hun,” the lady informed her softly.

Annie nodded solemnly and walked down the bleak hallway to Elise’s room. There wasn’t too much decoration, just a picture or two. The atmosphere of the hospital didn’t help her mood much, but there was nothing she could do to prepare herself for what lay ahead of her. Seeing Elise.

Once she got to the door, she took a deep breath before opening it. Inside Elise was lying on a hospital bed surrounded by several machines, talking to her parents. They all looked up at her when she entered. There was a bit of a silence before one of them spoke.

“Annie? Is that you?” Elise asked in a small voice.

“Yeah. It is. How do you feel?” Annie said with a smile that felt a little forced.

“A lot of things hurt and I’m really hurt, but it could be worse,” she replied

“That’s good. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Meyers,” Annie said turning to Elise’s parents who both gave her a small nod.

They both looked tired, like they hadn’t slept all night, and like they might have been crying.

“Hello, Annie. Would you like to sit down? You can take my seat. We were just leaving, we need to go home and get a little sleep. I don’t want to leave Elise, but she insists that we take care of ourselves,” Mrs. Meyers said as she got up.

Annie watched as they left, before turning to Elise. She didn’t say anything, just dragged one of the chairs over next to her bedside and sat down in it. She took one of the other girl’s hands in her own.

“You worried me. You worried me sick, going and getting yourself hurt. And hurt so badly!” she says quietly while squeezing her girlfriend's hand a bit too tightly.

Elise gave a small laugh, “I didn’t mean to worry you, babe. Would I do something like this on purpose?”

“No. But, I-” she was tearing up shit, “I don’t want you leaving me…”

She didn’t want to say anything about Elise dying, but she couldn’t help it. It hurt so much. She didn’t want to lose her, but it was happening whether she wanted it or not. And Elise didn’t even know about it. She would die clueless. Clueless but happy. And Annie intended to keep it that way. She knows her heart wouldn’t be able to take it if her girlfriend was anything but happy in her last days.

Said girlfriend looked confused at her statement, “Leaving you? Who said anything about leaving you? I’m gonna stay right here, silly. Don’t you worry!”

Annie gave her a small smile and brought the other’s hand up to her mouth and gave it a little kiss. This prompted Elise to blush lightly and give a little laugh at the display of affection and teased her a little before giving her a little kiss on the cheek. The two girls continued to flirt and tease and just bask in the company of each other, one of them trying to ignore heavier topics on her mind in favor of spending time with her girlfriend. Occasionally a nurse came in to check on Elise, but they were mostly alone.

It wasn’t until several hours later, when it was almost evening, that their chatter died down. Annie’s eyes were starting to droop and she was having a harder time focusing on things. It had been an emotionally exhausting day for her and she felt ready to drop. But she wasn’t ready to leave Elise. So she stayed next to her bedside, holding her hand silently, listening to the ticking of the clock on the wall. Eventually, she fell asleep without realizing it. When she woke up, she was still holding her girlfriend’s hand and was still in the chair she had been sitting on. Although it seemed someone had draped a light blanket over her. Must have been one of the nurses taking pity on her. Looking over at the girl next to her, she noticed she was already awake, watching her with a smile on her face.

“Mornin’ Sleeping Beauty.” Elise said to her, “Did you sleep well?”

Annie rubbed her eyes and sighed, “No. I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare? About what?” she asked worriedly.

“You,” she replied, not meeting her eyes, “You were in the hospital, just like now, and I was here with you. And then you died.”

Elise stared at her in silence. So she continued.

“You died and I couldn't take it. In the dream, I broke down crying and I was screaming about something I can’t remember. I just couldn’t bear losing you. That woke me up and I couldn’t fall asleep for another few hours. Finally, I got some dreamless sleep and then woke up. When I first woke up, I thought the dream had been real and that you were really dead...”

More silence followed until Elise lifted her hand to cup Annie’s cheek to comfort her. She spoke softly, “I’m not gonna die. I’m going to get better-”

Annie couldn’t take this, she started crying. It wasn’t true. She knew it wasn’t true. But Elise was saying it like it was the truth because it was her’s truth. She forces a smile on her face, “I love you, Elise. I want you to get better.”

“I’m really gonna get better for you. The nurses said so,” her girlfriend responded, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it.

“I believe you. I wanna hear it one more time.” Annie smiles fakely and brightly, crying so much.

“I’m gonna get better for you.” Elise smiles as the beeps of the heart monitor slow and the hand that Annie didn’t hold went limp.

#my writing #fluff #angst #tw: death #reincarnated hearts #first draft #no beta

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almaasi · 6 years

Text

Here’s a handy post with ALL 15 of the Destiel fics I posted this year!! (Total word count for the year: 366,181.)

2017 has been a year of drama, demisexual Cas, and dogs. (Seriously, a LOT of dogs.) Wow, I did awesome - and I think my personal health journey is well-reflected in the topics, from depression recovery and weirdness in January to fluff and smut in the last months of the year.

I hope you enjoy reading these even more than I enjoyed writing them ♥

✦ Mostly In Silence · 4k · G · hurt-comfort + depression recovery

Dean returns home to the bunker, only to find Castiel is lost in a deep depression. Taking their cues from the night sky (perhaps holding hands, perhaps sharing their first kiss), Dean helps Castiel rediscover a small but shining sense of hope.

✦ Lucid Nightmare · 10k · T · basically weird meta about fanfic AUs

there’s fire in this city // sirens, ghosts, and earthquakes // one night, you protect me // and we run until dawn breaks //

Or:

A spooky, fluffy, mind-warping existential-themed half-fic half-poem, in which Dean saves siren!Cas from a real-life waking nightmare and drives him to Bobby’s house for safety. But as Cas reveals more about himself and his past, Dean comes to realise he has to let his new winged friend enter his mind and dreamwalk, or else Cas will die.

✦ A Place and a Feeling · 24k · NC-17 · fluffy drama + domesticity + smut

Human AU. Dean Winchester still hasn’t found the perfect little house in the suburbs he’s always dreamed of. On the off-chance that another meeting with his totally adorkable realtor could finally change everything, Dean keeps going back to Castiel’s agency. Like Cas always says, home is both a place and a feeling. But what if the place Dean’s looking for is Castiel’s house, and the feeling is Castiel himself? Sometimes the most unprofessional choices lead to the most enjoyable personal consequences. This is one of those times.

✦ Our Garden Home · 36k · G · cute overload fairy AU

Flower fairy Dean has caught a thief in his trap. As it turns out, it wasn’t a mouse stealing his food. It was Castiel: a hissy, bitey bat sprite with one wing and a forlorn, lonely heart. Dean offers a warm space in his nest, where Castiel can stay until Springtime comes around again. However, Castiel becomes more than just a guest. With a little effort, he helps make Dean’s nest a home.

✦ Night Exhibition · 27k · NC-17 · friends to lovers + smut (rimming!)

Welcome to the world’s most generic museum. In the café, you’ll find Dean, putting dinosaur cut-outs on his award-winning apple pies. In the gift shop, you’ll find his snarky yet devastatingly handsome friend Castiel, folding t-shirts for a living. But Castiel has a second job as a night watchman, patrolling the marble halls and protecting the museum exhibits after dark. One night, Dean asks to tag along. He could never resist a crisp blue uniform, and he’ll take any opportunity to have his friend show it off. It might take all night, one dance, and a playful sex act (or five) in a few unusual places around the museum before either of them realise… maybe Dean’s interest was never about the uniform. And maybe their friendship was already something else.

✦ What We Ache For · 93k · NC-17 · hurt-comfort + domesticity

Working as a prostitute (that’s ‘sex worker’ to the decent folks), Castiel has heard more than his fair share of odd requests. When he’s paid to spend a night with Dean Winchester (handsome, dork of all dorks, has a nice car… secretly a cop), the last thing Castiel expects to hear are the words “I wanna make love.” That’s the one thing he’s never done before – so Dean is going to show him how to do it. But then, barely a month after that night is over, Castiel finds himself in a difficult situation, and Dean is mistakenly summoned to help. They begin to share again: Dean’s apartment, the spare bed, their deepest secrets. Over time, with the support of Dean’s brother Sam, a mystery dog, and lots of cuddles, kisses, comfort, and tea, maybe Cas can finally be loved the way he deserves.

✦ Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop · 8k · G · fun & silly office romance

Nobody expects to see a purple horse at a Pride parade. So, naturally, Dean Winchester is surprised to meet his office co-worker and long-term crush, Castiel, riding atop a magnificent steed - and dressed in full wizard regalia, no less. Somehow, Cas thinks he (and his decked-out horse) are wearing grey. They visit a coffee shop with their friends and family, trying to get to the bottom of this mix-up - and apparently the purple horse is coming too.

“One medium black coffee with two sugars; one macchiato; three small soy lattes; one large decaf with a caramel shot - and ten apples, please.”

✦ Unconditional · 2k · T · hurt-comfort + meta about Dean & John Winchester

Over the years, Dean’s learned a lot about himself, and the way he loves those around him. Now Cas is back from the dead, and he came back human - and hurt. As Dean soothes Cas’ wounds in the front seat of the Impala, an ache in his heart drives him to find words to explain.

✦ The Wireless · 58k · NC-17 · solar punk + the most holy-shit thing I have ever written imo

Cas Novak hosts a popular radio show, entertaining hunters with his psychic powers. But, in a world where monster-hunting is commonplace, he harbours a powerful secret: he’s not human, but an angel, surviving in a society unsympathetic to his kind. For six years, Cas has read out news stories describing a particularly impressive man: Dean Winchester, distinguished hunter and accidental prophet of God. Not by chance, Cas meets Dean at a sunny autumn carnival, where Dean’s taken a job at a kissing booth. One kiss - perhaps two - and they’re already old friends, sharing fairground food, a carousel ride, another kiss on the ferris wheel… Finally, safe in the tent Dean shares with his brother, Castiel feels comfortable enough to reveal those unknown pieces of himself. But come morning, bigger events separate the trio: an ancient beast is waking up, and a fearful world desperately needs to be united. Now Castiel has a reason to confess his true nature, broadcasting live on Hunter Radio. Of course, Dean is listening. And it’s only a matter of time before he replies.

✦ Marshmalloween · 33k · T · lighthearted “teenagers vs. a haunted swamp” adventure

In an attempt to be the world’s coolest guardian, Dean takes his seventeen-year old brother Sam and all his friends to a ‘haunted’ swamp for Halloween night. Even if the ghost stories are a load of baloney, at least the alligators are real. Dean is unexpectedly reunited with his childhood friend (and crush) Castiel, kickstarting a fun night of Halloween antics - marshmallow toasting, bottle spinning, kiss exchanging, and spooky storytelling around the campfire. But when Sam and his dog both go missing, Dean realises the stories his mother once told him are all true. Monsters are real. And unless Dean, Cas, and all of Sam’s friends can figure out how to bring Sam back, he might be lost forever.

✦ Restaurant Revelations · 4k · G · fluffy relationship reveal

Dean and Cas have something important to tell Sam. They don their cheap rental tuxes, and Cas takes out dinner reservations at an exclusive restaurant just for the occasion. Sam is surprised enough when he and Cas make it through the door. But Dean shows up five minutes late, and the restaurant’s security protocols surely make it impossible for him to join them. The secret password is “fiancé”. And somehow Dean knows without being told.

✦ Stumble and Fall · 20k · G · dog adventures + cuddles

Dog AU. Ever since Dean was a puppy, training to be the world’s best sniffer dog, he hasn’t been able to sleep alone. His newest mission takes him well out of his comfort zone: he’s teamed up with a search-and-rescue mutt named Castiel (who, presumably, still has the vet’s thermometer stuck up his ass). But Dean was never built for snowy mountains – and only by snuggling up tight will he and Castiel share enough heat to make it through the night. Except, once Dean is home safe, he finds himself pining for his canine friend…

✦ Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark · 6k · G · kid fic

Castiel is beginning to understand how deceitful his fellow ten-year-olds can be. All the other boys in his swim class keep trying to convince him that there’s a live shark in the pool. And now Dean’s claiming that the panties in his bag belong to his sister, when Castiel knows for a fact that Dean doesn’t have a sister. Castiel is sick of being lied to. But, once Dean reveals a few truths, perhaps they can find a way to make sure the other kids’ teasing comes back to bite them - so to speak.

✦ Whoa There Cowboy · 5k · NC-17 · cowboy kink smut

If you’re gonna jerk off, watch something you find sexy, Dean said. There’s a dirty cowboy movie on TV, and that suits him perfectly. But he never expected that Cas would want to watch him.

✦ The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments · 28k · G · Christmas magic + cute overload

Every night when the clock strikes twelve, all the toys in the toymaker’s workshop come to life. Dean is a little wooden soldier, so easily distracted by the pretty dolls. However, in the nights leading up to Christmas, he feels drawn to a very different kind of toy: Castiel, a kindhearted cowboy displayed on the other side of the store. Dean and Castiel spend all their time together, spreading joy and festive cheer throughout their miniature community. But once the Christmas rush comes around, will fate allow them to stay together? (Perhaps… with a little sprinkling of Christmas magic, even the wishes of simple toys can come true.)

#Destiel #Destiel fanfic #Destiel fic rec #DeanCas #Elmie writes things #long post #post of postiness #Elmie makes things #2017

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hiro-gari · 3 years

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AAAA THANK YOU I'm so glad that you like the short dialogues and my potrayal for them!! Been trying to make Garou and Badd sounds IC enough because I tend to write them too OOC so I'm very happy that you thought it's good aaaah tysm 😭🙏💗💘💕

And yess same! 😆🙌 Ambiguous open ending sounds more interesting, because that way we can have unlimited possible endings as many as possible 👀✨

So what I've got in my mind about that Garou&Badd's dialogue endings are basically like these:

-Silly dumb route: I had older headcanon that they likes to chat random topics that often escalated into debate or making some stupid conspiracy theories ALL. NIGHT. LONG, lmao! Usually it was Garou who spout some random nonsenses first that Badd couldn't help but giving him responses, but occasionally Badd also suddenly bringing up some intriguing topics that pulling Garou's interest, lol! Let them being dumbass boyfriends who just likes to share silly interests with eachother 😆

-Heartwarming happy route: Y'know Badd is secretly a hopeless romantic who loves lovely idea of having soulmates that always find eachother no matter what? He was thinking that despite his first meeting moment with Garou wasn't perfect like what he imagined before (being enemies and not so lovey-dovey), but he loves Garou so much and sure that the wolfboy is his fated soulmate. And he wanted to know if Garou shared the same thought as him.. In which Garou reciprocated him, hence the sweet promise between them 😚

-Hurt/comfort route: I mentioned before that Badd's mom was the one who tell him about the soulmate concept, right? Badd missed his mom that night that's why he brings up the topic to Garou. He wasn't sure if soulmates are real or not. If the concept is real, he wanted to make sure Garou wont forget him in the next life. But ithe concept isn't real, he still wanted to be with Garou forever, spending time and living their life as best as they could.. :"") And Garou was here to comfort Badd and tried to get him sleeping soon, because they must go to work in the morning lol! 😂

-Angsty/sad route: This is actually the original ending before I scrapped off because I wasn't satisfied by it, lol. The dialogue was made when I was in my not-so-good days, and it was supposed to have one more line in the ending of their dialogues, something like "On the next morning, the rescue team found Garou and Badd died on eachother's arms" 😢💔

So the backstory, they both just finished their mission together, Badd was unfortunately fatally wounded before Garou could shielded him and he went berserk. Then to accompany Badd's last moment, Garou craddled him in his arms while exchanging convos just like they usually do when sleeping together. As Badd went to eternal sleep, Garou lost his will to live and died together with him. Hopefully Badd's story is true so they could meet eachother again. It was winter and the location was kinda difficult to reach, so the rescue team were too late to save them.

I scrapped off this idea because beside it was too sad, the plot was basically just like my Reincarnated Demon/Angel AU where Badd died, Garou went berserk and died too, before both get reincarnated as demon/angel (enemies again). Thus I decided to make it open ending with happier-leaning possibilities like on above examples 😅

BUT! After I read your interpretation in your tags: #so the second time I read it I thought maybe Badd has memories from a past life?? #possibly multiple liftetimes :’) #and every time garou forgets #but of course they find each other again #and badd tries to make sure he remembers this time around 😭

YASS THIS IS IT! Your idea is BRILLIANT, I personally love this way!! 👀😳👌💖🌟✨ Y'know I usually write stories where they both still can obtaining happy ending together despite experiencing angsty stuff throughout the story. And your interpretation is perfect for that situation! 😚👍

Tbh it reminds me of Madoka Magica story, where one of the protags has a controlling-time magic power which allowed her to go back in the past, just so she could save her bestfriend (or love interest). Even they have shared a promise that they wont forget eachother no matter what, which unfortunately the protags' bestfriend forget her everytime they meet again in different timelines. The anime looked so cute but actually very depressing (has nice OST and heart-touching sweet ending, though!).

But I believe despite being reborn, meeting again, then separated again by death, Garou and Badd still have the best happy life in each lifetimes! And even though Garou always ended up forgets about their past life, he never fails to find Badd just like what they have promised before, aww.. 😍😚💕 It gives Badd hopes that at least in the deepest Garou's mind, he never actually forgets their vow. It's like, the vow has already stamped on Garou's soul :"")💕

So in the end, Garou and Badd will always find happiness in their perfectly-imperfect life together as destined soulmates. They deserved happy ending throughout the whole hardship 👍💖💝

Waah sorry I was rambling too much again! I love it when discussing something with people, and your amazing takes or headcanons always make me go "OH YEAH I'M IN! 👀😳✨👏👏".

And I'm so sorry that you've been in bad day, gotta sending you support hugs, love, cozy blanket and hot cocoa on your way! I hope everything will getting much better soon for you~ 😤😚💕💞💖💝🌸🌺🌼🍀🍀🍀🍀🌻🌻🌻🌻🌷🌷💐☕🍪🍫

Also don't worry it's okay you can write whenever you feel like it, because your well-being is the most important thing. Please take your time as much as you need! 😉👍💖 We will still waiting patiently for your next works, so please don't give up, we believe in you! AAA I LOVE YOU TOO~ 😘❤💜💙💚💛🌼🌻🌼🌹🌹

P.S.: I will be right back on bringing my other silly headcanons that definitely much more happier than this one, 100% angst-free guaranteed (100% dumbassery guaranteed, though, lmao)! 😁😆 Maybe I will submit it to you on next week, hopefully it could liften up your spirit 😊🌸

-Little1993lamb-

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Omg of course!! Gotta leave you some Reviews™️ too, even though you’re the master of them 😉 Sorry I sometimes struggle with articulating specifically what I love about your submissions and there’s always a whole lotta keyboard smashing :”)

LMFAO @ the thought of them staying up all night talking about completely nonsensical things just because 😂😂 (or maybe it’s not nonsensical, the OPM verse do be kinda crazy sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️) But neither of them seem to have many friends their own age, so they’ve probably got years of socializing to catch up on, some fantastical stuff’s bound to be brought up

I love all the different routes this could take: lovey dovey Badd yes!! It’s canon as far as I’m concerned 💕 this guy bought like 100+ roses for his sister’s piano recital, I refuse to believe he’s not absolutely full of love! And for the hurt/comfort one asjdkslsk *clutches chest* Badd probably struggles with just coming out and saying he’s missing his mom, but surely Garou’s realized by now how important family is to Badd, and he knows to give him all his love and comfort whenever he mentions her awww 🥺

Ack I definitely feel ya on the angst 💔 I too have a lot of scrapped angsty fics T~T in a weird way, it’s therapeutic though. And definitely don’t hesitate to post or publish it, because making readers Feel Things is what we do 😉 Even if it makes them mad at us 😭😭 Maaan I kinda thought that’s what you were angling towards, but now with the additional background story I’m- *holding back the tears* hnnnnnnn~ It’s bittersweet, but beautiful nonetheless 💕

AHH yey I’m so glad you liked my little interpretation 🙈💕 I imagine Badd just running into Garou again, getting attacked like he does every time, and being like “ah shit, here we go again, he’s clueless as ever” 🤦🏻‍♀️ But also he’s kind of excited to meet him all over again, and to see what kind of adventurous mischief they’re going to experience together 💖

I’m looking up Madoka Magica rn 👀 it looks excellent 👌 (I mean, you had me at “nice OST”) Ahhhhhh early 2010’s anime just hits differently, I’m definitely gonna check it out, thank you!

Thank you for always supporting me 😘💕💖 *lots of hugs to you* I’m just in a funky kinda headspace, work’s been kind of kicking my ass and it makes me sad that I don’t have the time or energy to do the things I wanna do waaa 😩 Thank you for always being patient with me 🥺💗💞💝 I’m so looking forward to reading more of your work (YAAAAS FLUFF TIME!!!), you do these lovable dorks so much justice, thank you for all that you do 😚🥰

#you always brighten my day anon :’)#dw abt rambling I do that all the time too lmfao #i could discuss things with u all day long 💕#hope u have a great day!! talk soon 😁#submission #opm

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