#since its supposed ot be the same guy anyway

[luimagines]

Take Your Sick Day

Another Commission!

Masterlist

They asked for Dragon Link, specially Skyward Sword Link and for me to make it sooo fuffy that they would be laid comatose. I’m not entirely if I did that but I got permission to share it :D

Content under the cut!

“You’re warm.” A black scaled reptilian tail lashed back and forth like an agitated cat. Cool hands place themselves by your neck and on your forehead. “You’re sick.”

“I’m fine.” You cough, covering your mouth with your sleeve. 

The half formed dragon sends you a deadpan stare. “Uh-huh. And let me guess you’re also planning on going out to finish the job you started yesterday, right?”

You glare, daring him to say anything about your plans for today.

“Cancel them.”

“No.”

“You’re sick.” The half dragon in front of you stresses. “Jayrie is old enough as it is, what if she catches it?”

You pause. Jayrie was the kind elderly woman who gave you a job when you had no other means of income. The work was simple but long. However, someone had to do it and you were happy to fill in the position when asked. Like everyone else in the settlement, Jayrie was a dragon but she was considered old even by their standards. You never did ask how old she truly was. But if you had to guess, she was centuries old.

The boy in front of you was older too. Granted, he may have looked closer to your age but he himself admitted to be nearly two hundred years old already. You’re not sure how that aging works out as it does. But Hyrule’s magic was hard to pin down as it is. You won’t question it.

“Dragons don’t get as sick as we do.” You inform him with a meek voice. Do they? It was an argument you were willing to make, but not one that you thought you could defend very well.

The young man sends you a blank look.

You begin to fluster, gathering that your argument lacked a foundation. “Look… Link… It’s not even that bad.”

“Uh-huh.” He repeats his earlier disinterest. “Explain to me then why you look like you’re about to keel over and pass out.”

You huff. “I’m fine.”

He’s not convinced. “At least eat something.” He says, eyeing you up and down. “It won’t do you any good to get out there without any strength left in you.”

You have the suspicion that he has something else planned but you can’t figure out what it is. On top of that, you don’t feel really hungry. If anything, the thought of eating makes you queasy. However… if that’s his only condition to let you go, you can’t really deny it. “Sure. I’ll eat something.”

You already feel worse.

Link nods, smiling softly. “Good. Give me a second to whip something up then you can head out.”

You grin back tensely. “Thanks.”

“Anything.” He leans forward, kissing your forehead quickly before he dips into the kitchen. You can feel that he laced that kiss with some of his magic. It was cooling and sweet. You can feel it flush through your system, even if it doesn’t hold. There was a healing spell there. It’s a shame that it never sticks.

You gulp and notice that your throat does feel stretchier than usual. But you’ve so close to finishing up that order for the week. It can’t afford to be put off for another day. And if anything, you’ve never been one to leave things half done. You were sure you would be able to get it done today. Then maybe tomorrow you can take the day off to recover. It’s just a little discomfort for a long term pay out, right?

Man, you were getting colder. And your back was sore. Maybe you should go lay down for a little bit. Then Link can come in with breakfast, you can swallow it down and go to work.

“That sounds nice.” You say to yourself. Your head hit the pillow and it was just cold enough that it eased the pressure building in your head.  You were still getting colder. You can feel yourself begin to shake from the chills. Maybe you can get under the blankets. Just for a little bit. Five minutes, max.

Link was busy cooking up something simple for you. You looked miserable, if he was being honest. From your blood shot eyes, to the clear way your nose was beginning to run and you were flushed with fever. He had seen his own people get sick before, but it was hardly ever to that extent. Maybe your kind was different?

For one thing, you were right. Dragons don’t get sick as often but this is the fifth time it’s happened since you’ve landed in their little settlement on the surface. Maybe it had to do with the fact that you were empty. Not a hint of magic within you, whatsoever. It was concerning when you first showed up but it never seemed to be a hindrance. Link had taken a liking to you instantly. Even if you were ignoring his advances, he wanted to try to court you.

He pulled out all the stops, doing everything he knew would be the right thing to do. He just hoped it would be enough to impress you and choose him back.

Only for it to come to light that you had no idea was trying to court you to begin with. Not only were you not a dragon and lacked magic, but your senses were still just a shot in the dark compared to what he could perceive. It was as if you were a different creature entirely.

But that didn’t change how much he wanted to make you his. 

It ended up being near impossible, given that magic always seemed to flow out of you. Nothing could stick no matter what they tried. He couldn’t add his mark to you. You were blocked off of any magic in general. Which was concerning when you were injured. You couldn't take any healing spells or health potions and there were little other methods they had to deal with problems like those. Still, Link never considered himself one to shy away from a challenge. Which led to where you are today, with him in his house on the surface, helping to keep the settlement stable in the little ways you could help.

He could hear you get back into the bed as the eggs sizzled and popped by the stove. Link allowed his heart to relax a bit. Good, he sighed. You should be resting. He had the sinking suspicion that you got sick by overworking yourself again. Not to mention that winter was around the corner and the temperature was dropping.

He shakes his head and plates the food, hoping you’d have it in you to eat something anyway. “What am I going to do with you?”

Link creeps through the house and peaks through the door to the bedroom. While he holds the plate of eggs and toast in one hand, he holds the door just a crack open with the other. A breath of relief flows out of him. You’ve fallen asleep.

“Why must you push yourself so hard, Beloved?” He whispers, entering the room and putting the plate on the bedside table. 

The back of his hand brushes against your temple and forehead once more. A frown places itself firmly on his features. “You’re warmer than you usually are.” 

Link sits on the edge of the bed, gently brushing the side of your face as you sleep. In retrospect, this isn’t anything new. You’ve both gone through this before. You’ve both learned and grown and adapted to the circumstances. Link knows what he has to do to help you fight the war within you.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish this would be easier to handle.

He tucks you into the bed, making sure the blankets are wrapped snugly around you before he gets up again. There’s a pause where he considers taking the plate back with him. It’s not like you’re going to eat it anytime soon. But perhaps you wake up in the time it takes him to make his rounds. Link still wants you to have something in your stomach, even if it’ll be the only thing you eat today.

Link walks around his house, making sure everything is in place and within easy reach.

He goes to tell Jayrie that you’re sick and won’t be making it to your shift today, and potentially not tomorrow either. The elderly woman is ever understanding, having gotten to know your nature quite well after working with you for as long as she has.

“Take care of them, young man.” She shakes her head softly. “Let them know to only come back when they’re feeling one hundred percent back to their normal self.”

Link tips his head in gratitude, a soft smile overtaking his face. “Yes, ma’am. I plan to do just that. I just have to let the others know that I won’t be able to come in again-”

“Oh nevermind them.” Jayrie waves him off. “I can tell those old fuddy duddies that your mate needs you for the time being. Go back home now, you hear? We both know that if you’re not there to stop them, they’ll just keep working until their body forces them to stop.”

“They’re asleep right now.” Link admits with a shy smile. “I think that might have already happened.”

“All the more reason to make sure they don’t push themselves any further.” Jayrie begins to push him out of her shop and back onto the main trail. “Go on now, go!”

“Thank you.” Link tips his head in gratitude and rushes back home to you, leaving a blustering wind in his wake.

When he gets back into the house, he checks on you first. You’re still asleep and the eggs are still untouched. A sigh tumbles out of him once more. Link supposes that this is better than you trying to work more while you’re ill. Then again, it’s a testament to how sick you truly are.

With his own plans canceled for the day, Link has to find ways to keep himself busy while he waits until you need something from him. Granted, there’s very little to do around the house. It’s on the smaller side and he hasn’t needed to expand much even when you joined him under the same roof. He can clean but that proves to be only a small chore when the two of you don’t leave a lot of clutter around the counter spaces anyway.

Suddenly, he hears you groan a bit. Intrigued by your sudden movement, Link makes his way through the house and pokes his head through the doorway. “Are you awake now, Beloved?”

You groan again and blink your eyes open. Blearily, you looked around you and slowly burrow deeper into the blankets. “It’s so bright.”

“It’s the middle of the day.” Link smiles, walking in to close the curtains. “”There. Better?”

“Mhm.” You hum and lift your head up a bit. You cough. It sounds rough and wet. “What time is it?”

Link flinches. Your voice sounds rough as well. “Closer to noon. Maybe past that. I haven’t been looking at the clock.”

You frown and Link knows it’s because you’re upset that you missed out on your shift. Then your eyes land on him again. “Didn’t you have to help Groose and Zelda with the new farmland today?”

“I got it covered.” Link waves you off, not wanting to go into too many details. “You need me. You are my priority.”

“You say that every time.”

“And I mean it every time.” Link smiles and sits on the edge of the bed again. His hand comes up once more to feel your forehead and cheeks. “Still warm. How are you feeling?”

“I feel horrible… and gross.” You whine.

Link frowns. “I believe you.” 

You lift your arms up for a hug. You look so small and miserable, it melts Link’s heart. With a small huff, Link climbs into the bed next to you, shifting into his half dragon form and wraps himself around you.

Link feels you hum and relax in satisfaction. A proud smile covers his face as he rests his head on top of yours. He tucks you under his chin, holding you close to his chest as he begins to purr. With his arms and tail wrapped around you, and his legs intertwined with yours, he feels a sense of peace wash over him.

This is perfect, as it should be. You are right next to him and within his arms. The dragon in him couldn’t be happier. He’ll look after you. You are his mate. There’s no other person he could think of to fill this spot. It belongs to you and you alone.

”Link…” Your voice cuts through the simple quiet that descended after he snuggled up to you. “I still feel gross.”

Link snorts. “I have a feeling you'll feel gross for a while.”

“...I’m sick.” You pout.

“Yeah. I know.” Link pets your hair. “We should get you cleaned up at least.”

You tilt your head up to look up at him, not fully understanding what he means by that.

With a dimmed mischievous smile, Link turns and picks you up, easily holding you in his arms. You’re too tired to react to it. Instead, you rest your head on his shoulder and hold onto his shoulder loosely. 

Link walks through the house once more, heading to the back where he’s made a corner for your privacy. He sets you down on a wooden chair and points to the pool he intends to fill up. “Bath time.”

You make a face but comply, ridding yourself of the clothes that have been sitting in your sickness. Link calls to the clouds to form above the ditch, letting it rain and fill with the water. To the side, he tosses wood and cranks a fan. Quickly, zapping the wood with lightning, he creates a fire and watches in satisfaction as the rain water begins to warm up.

He doesn’t have to keep the crank in motion for the job to be completed, so he let’s it run its course, turning instead to pick out the soaps he intends to use.

When he fishes out the soap, he sees you lowering yourself already into the water, sinking into it slowly. “How’s the water?”

“Not warm enough.” You mumbles, cupping the water up to rinse your shoulders.

Link places the soaps by your side and goes back to the fire, using the fan to grow the flame. With time, you let him know that it’s just where you want it and he returns to your side.

“You don’t have to do this.” You say as he kneels. “I can do this myself.”

“You can.” He agrees. “But you wouldn’t. Let me be good to you. You’re not feeling well anyway.”

You pout and growl the best you can, but the sickness doesn’t allow you to properly be intimidating. 

Link rolls up his sleeves and takes one of the bars of soap, dipping it into the water and bringing it back up to run it over your body. With one hand lathering the soap, the other makes quick work of kneading into your muscles, working out the soreness and knots that tend to gather when you fall ill.

A groan leaves you before you can stop it. You’re inclined to lower yourself into the water and tilt your head back. You open your eyes and look up at him. “Thank you.”

Link smiles as you appear to already look better. He doesn’t fully understand how the steam helps you but he’s not going to ask questions. He kisses the tip of your nose. “Always and forever, Beloved. Do you want me to wash your hair?”

“You’re going to make me fall asleep again.” You admit, but you don’t say no.

“Good.” Link laughs. “Anything to get you to slow down for once.”

“I’m not that bad!”

“And yet here we are.” Link flicks the back of your head gently, grabbing a different soap and lathers it in between his hands. His fingers dive into your hair and begin to massage your scalp.

Calling over a rain cloud, he lets it rinse out the soap as he goes. It’s not as warm as the water around you, but it proves to be a calming sensation to your still peaked fever. You sink further into the pit.

Link is more or less forced to follow you lower but he has to pull himself back up. He chuckles at your reactions and steps back to strip.

You whine again. “Liinnkkk…Where’d you go?”

“Right behind you, hold on.” Link laughs, placing his clothes neatly onto the table. He lowers himself onto the water as well, wondering if perhaps the water could be a bit warmer for the both of you.

He sees you smile when you see him sit in the bath. That look on your face makes this whole thing worth it, in Link’s eyes. That little pleased smile pushes you forward and you wrap yourself around Link once more.

Link gladly takes you into his arms again and goes back to running his hands through your hair, massaging every inch he can reach. The rain cloud follows and rinses the soap off of your body. With a kiss to the top of your head, Link leans back against the wall of the ditch, pushing the stronger rain clouds away before it can overflow. “I love you, Beloved.”

“I love you too.” You sigh, letting yourself be held against his chest. You’re content and already feeling better. It’s just one thing that scratches the back of your mind. “I didn’t have the breakfast you made me.”

“I know.” He says quietly. “I’ll make more.”

“Would you?”

“Yes.” He nuzzles the side of your head. “But rest up first. We’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

You hum and nod, resting against him at last. 

“Sleep well.”

[moonpedri]

honey.

summary: you knew pedri was no good for you, but you couldn't help yourself and give in when all he wanted was a little luck before his match.

pairing: pedri x reader

genre: fluff, suggestive (readers best friend is dating pedris brother)

warnings: none, except some making out

word count: 2.8k

a/n: my first ever request!! this was supposed to be a short imagine, but turned out a little longer than attended. let me know what you think and have fun reading!🤍🤍 (not proof-read)!

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You do a little spin, considering yourself in the mirror. You honestly can't remember the last time you wore the red-blue jersey. It's been a while since you attended one of their games - not that you watched that many anyways. But today's the club's second to last league game, two more an they win LaLiga. And since Sofía, your best friend, is dating the older brother of Barcas youngest star player, she insisted on you wearing the infamous #8 jersey as well. "It's a special occasion, we're all wearing it.", she said, leaving no room for argument.

You were currently at her apartment, getting ready on the floor of her bedroom. Sitting in front of the big body-mirror you watch as Sofía plugs in the hair-curler; all while listening to DESPECHÁ by Rosalía in the background.

Sofía and you met at "Dulces", a small café in the big metropolitan city. In desperate need for a part-time job to somehow finance both university and rent, you stumbled across the shop you now almost dare to call your second home. Sofía's parents own the café. It's humble compared to the rest of the city, located in the very heart of it, but it outshines each and everyone of them.

The outside was decorated in pastels and different flowers. The big window gives a nice view into the inside of the shop. Its interior was just as cute, a few small tables taking up most of the space. And just like the outside, the inside gleamed in pastels and flowers.

Sofía helped you get adjusted quickly, making work a lot more comfortable and the adjustment to your new home a lot less overwhelming.

At one point in your friendship she introduced her boyfriend Fernando to you. Which honestly came to a big surprise to you, because all she ever said was that she was just "talking to some guy" and that it was "nothing serious". Turns out he's the love of her life and she hid the entire relationship for a whole week from you.

"We didn't know it was that serious either. We decided to keep it a secret to be completely sure about us. No one knew, not even his brother, trust me.", she tried explaining to you in panic, when she saw your upset and hurt expression. Yada yada yada. It didn't make any sense to you until you found out that he is actually the brother of FC Barcelona's notorious midfielder Pedri. Though it was not the footballer himself, anything concerning the Gonzalez family they preferred to keep private. And you respected that.

You wouldn't be able to be mad at her for longer than a few hours anyways, and never over something as trivial as this. You loved her too much for that.

The moment you knew though, your entire routine changed. Suddenly you were swapped into this whole new lifestyle of spontaneous trips and football matches; something uncommon to you prior. You've gone to maybe one football game before meeting Sofía.

Her phone suddenly vibrates on the vanity table and you watch as she picks up the phone with a smile on her face. You sigh. At least Fernando treats her right. For the short time you've known him, he has been nothing but a sweetheart to not only his girlfriend, but you as well.

He invited you over to dinner often and even acted as a chauffeur when you and Sofía got particularly drunk one night.

The same can't be said about his little brother though.

Considering how often you have been over at their place and attended his games, you've seen pretty little of him. Not that you complained, he's an attractive guy, no question. But whenever you two were around each other the air suddenly got weirdly thicker in a way. And it gradually got stronger and stronger the more you met.

You're not dumb, you got the hints. Your days as a naive teenager have been over for a long time now. His touches started lingering longer than what's deemed appropriate, his eyes went places they shouldn't.

And Pedri's not stupid either. He wouldn't directly approach you; not if he was 100% sure you wanted the same.

You would lie if you said it didn't affect you. Of course, it did. It was irritating at first, however irritation turned to anticipation really quick and each time you wondered how far he would go this time; If he would ever go further than the heated kiss you shared on the beach two weeks ago.

It was in a moment of weakness admittedly, it didn't mean anything. But what were you supposed to do, when he looked like sex-on-legs in those red swim shorts, when his large hands covered your back and shoulders with suncream, when he glistened so beautiful under the harsh sun and when he finally dragged and hid you behind your sunshade. You just had to taste him once. Just once.

But that's the furthest you would ever let "this" go - harmless teasing.

You heard what people said, what the articles reported. Hell, even his own brother dropped some hints sometimes. The love life of that of a footballer often went hand-in-hand with infidelity. Not always of course, but you shouldn't expect from a young superstar to commit to a monogamous relationship so early into his rising career. That would be naive.

And you definitely didn't expect this from Pedri.

You knew all he wanted was to fuck you probably, have his fun with you and then discard you like the rest. That's not what you wanted though. You were not some plaything, especially not to some athlete. You had neither time nor the nerves for that. And you didn't have feelings for him anyways, so this whole thing was absolutely pointless to think about.

With a sigh you stand up. The jersey was tucked into a crop, showing off your little belly button piercing perfectly.

"You look really pretty.", Sofía says from behind you. You can't lie, the jeans hugged your ass in all the right ways and for once you managed to not have a bad make-up day.

"Just in time as well, the driver texted. Let's go.", she informs you. You grab your bag and head out.

Pedri (or Fernando, you honestly don't know) was nice enough to arrange a chaffeur for the two of you. The brothers and their parents already went ahead hours ago, like they almost always did in support of their son and brother. Seeing no point in waiting inside the stadium for hours, both you and Sofía decided to tag along later, being able to sleep in.

You arrive at the Camp Nou pretty quickly, considering the traffic and masses of people surrounding the place.

Once inside, you're welcomed with loud cheers and chants of the Culers, cheering passionately pre-match for their favorite club.

It was a bit difficult getting through, but you find Fernando eventually.

"You've made it!", Fer greets the two of you with a loud cheer. He sweeps up Sofía in a tight hug, "You look beautiful.", he whispers to her and presses a kiss to her forehead. It takes everything in you to suppress a gag. They were disgusting.

"Can you guys hurry up?", you interrupt the love birds, wanting to take seat.

Fer makes a face at you, "You're just jealous."

"Absolutely not."

He rolls his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I would have said the same if I was boyfriend-less. It's okay, __. He will come eventually, bless his poor soul."

Both you and Sofía punch Fer on the shoulder at the same time. "Don't be rude!", your best friend defends you. He rubs his shoulder sulkingly, "She started."

Sofía gives him another stern look before kissing him on the lips and rubbing his shoulder affectionately. What a traitor.

You surpress another eye roll." Where are your parents?", you ask. It's been some time since you've seen them too. You've met them even less than their youngest son, but the few times you have, they have been nothing but sweethearts.

"Getting food.", he says, "By the way, my brother wanted something from you.", Fer informs you.

You furrow your brows, "Right now?"

He nods, "Don't know what though. He said he'll wait somewhere downstairs." And with that he turns his attention back to his girlfriend, leaving you on your own.

Knowing that he won't be of much help anymore, you stand up and make your ways through the stands.

Lucky for you, you've been at the Camp Nou often enough to roughly know where to go. Otherwise you would have long gone lost.

When you find the door for the private area, you take a deep breath. Dealing with Pedri requires a calm mind, or else he wringgles his way into your head fast enough to make you go completely mad.

You step inside and shouldn't be suprised to see him already waiting for you. Yet you are.

He looks good in his sports uniform, the shorts doing nothing but only highlighting his lean but muscular legs.

Before you could take another step forward though, a security man yanks you back by your arm. "Wrong way, ma'am.", he says in a deep voice. He was huge, hovering over you with ease. It was a menacing sight.

"I'm-"

"She's with me.", Pedri tells him. He signs something to him with his hand, indicating him to leave.

The security guard contemplates to argue that it's technically against the rules, but apparently his last minutes of peace seem more precious to him in that moment and he gives you one final look, before leaving. He still has long and tiresome hours ahead of him.

Pedri walks towards you while saying something, yet you were still stuck on the words that left Pedri's mouth a moment ago. It was a simple sentence, nothing special really. Nonetheless your brain couldn't help but think about what if it was taken out of context for a split second. "She's with me. She belongs to me. She's mine."

You immediately shake the thoughts out of your head and instead focus on the boy in front of you. Calm mind, you think to yourself. "What do you want, González?"

Pedri actingly clutches his heart in a hurt manner, "I thought we're on first name basis __, you're breaking my heart."

You roll your eyes, "I'm serious, isn't your march starting, like, any minute? What do you want?"

Suddenly he pushes himself off the wall and positions himself right in front of you. His demeanor changes immediately. He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows cockily, "I summoned you here, my lovely __, to receive my good luck kiss."

What.

You stare at Pedri with big eyes. If you were to be eating something, you surely would have choked on it. You must have misheard him. "Your what?"

He grins, "My good luck kiss. I couldn't possibly go without it today."

You think that he may be confusing your intentions somehow. There was no other explanation for it. "Look, what happened at the beach was a one-time-thing. Nothing serious.", you try to explain to him. You cannot deal with this right now.

"Never said it was, princess. Didn't say this one is either. Except for my match, of course."

You scoff at him. He's unbelievable.

He's always like this; acting nonchalant whenever you two talked, treating you like it was obvious and natural for you to give him whatever he wants. A mundane and ordinary thing for you to do.

Pedri takes a look at his wrist, pretending to read his watch (he isn't wearing one), "Which is starting very soon, so you might want to hurry up, sugar."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Never. Do you want us to lose, princess?"

You stare at him in shock. Is he trying to guilt-trip you right now? "Your inability to score has nothing to do with me."

"I'm serious.", he adds, ignoring your jab at him altogether. You can see the way his expression changes to a more genuine one now.

When you say nothing, he takes another step forward. Your eyes widen, when he touches your waist. You don't stop him. You don't stop him either when his other hand settles under your chin.

"Did you change your lip balm?", he asks suddenly, his thumb brushing your bottom-lip down gently. You did, however you didn't think he, or anyone else for the matter, would notice. Who even chatches something so unnoticable, unless you stare at their lips all the time?

Pedri was truly out of his mind, yet you somehow love the attention he pays you. You feel pretty under his gaze, you feel seen.

And it annoys you so much, because it goes against everything you hold against him. You shouldn't feel the way you feel right now, your legs shouldn't feel weak and your skin should not be burning.

But he looks so unbelievably good up close, you begin to lose yourself in his eyes. You never wanted someone so much.

The air around you is thick enough to cut through, oxygen dreads to disappear out of your lungs.

You nod, "Yes.", not able to say any more.

Pedri takes one last look at your mouth, "Can I guess the flavor?", he whispers almost. His face is only inches apart from yours.

And so you give in to him.

You don't know who leans in first, all you know is that his lips feel like heaven on earth. They move firm, but gentle, against yours.

His right hand grabs your neck, pulling your face even closer to his. You shudder, when you feel his tongue lick against your bottom-lip, and you grab his shoulders for support.

Pedri was like a drug; toxic and bad for you, but irresistible. The more you have a taste of it, the more you want it. And right now, he's the worst drug you've ever had. You're addicted.

Your tongues move in synch and Pedri pushes you harshly against the wall behind you. He slips his thigh between your legs and you gasp. "Wait."

With a plop you seperate from each other. Your entire body feels like its on fire, Pedri's swollen lips only an indicator on how you must look like right now. "We can't.", you say out of breath. You sound extremely unconvincing; even to your own ears.

Pedri notes that too. He licks his lips and winks, "You're right, I should head back. Next time, I'll make more time in advance."

He presses a final soft kiss to your lips before hurrying back to the cabine, not giving you a chance to oppose. You inwardly curse yourself for giving in so easily again.

When you head back to Sofía and the others, no one asks or says anything. You decide to ignore the mischievous gaze Fernando sends you.

The match starts with a whistle moments later. The entire first half of the match goes by in a blur. After the incident earlier you cannot focus on anything. For all it's worth though, they have not scored any goals yet. You're suddenly worried that it may be your fault somehow, even if you don't know how exactly it could have been your fault.

Nevertheless, they come back stronger in the second half. Lewandowski scores a goal in the 63th minute, assisted by Pedri and everyone cheers loudly.

That happiness doesn't hold on for long though, when only 7 minutes later Mallorca gets a penalty. Fernando yells at the referee, calling him names and you find yourself nodding along, not understanding his ridiculous decision. "You fucker, that was clearly not a foul!"

They make the goal and by the 90th minute everyone around you began loosing hope. But what did the German proverb say? Hope dies last.

It manifests itself in the form of Pedri, when the ball suddenly gets to his feet - a pass from Gavi. You watch as the ball is seemingly glued to his feet. Pedri dribbles past his opponents inside the box and shoots...!

A roar errupts inside the Camp Nou. Everyone jumps up, screaming and crying. His name booms loudly through the stadium speakers. Sofía engulfes you in a tight hug and you can't help but cheer as well.

Pedri scored the winning goal.

He runs to the stands shouting, his teammates clapping him on the shoulder or hugging him. Gavi is hot on his trail and they do their handshake. You anticipate him to do his signature celebration next, but he doesn't.

Instead he pulls his arms close to his torso and flutters his hands up and down. Then he points to your general direction. Your eyes widen in recognition. Ferran and Ansu imitate him with a laugh.

"A new celebration?", you hear his father ask from behind you.

To everyone it looks like some silly celebration he made up with his teammates before the game; dedicating his final goal to his loving family by pointing there.

To you, it looks like exactly for what it is.

Pedri was imitating a bee. A bee producing honey - the flavor of your new lip balm.

He's just absolutely shameless. And somehow, you like it.

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© moonpedri - DO NOT copy, translate or post my work anywhere without my permission!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[ally-writes-many-things]

You Got It Wrong (Matt Casey) Part 4

Summary: After Y/N and Matt get into an argument, she leaves for her sister's wedding.

Words: 1377

Prompts:

Warning or A/N: Next part will be the last part.

Tags: @intergalxtic @babyfannii @corebore123 @halsteadsway @bethii1 @littlemaatta @disneyismyworldforever @nhcwdw @thevelvetseries @myles-production @inlovewith3 @afuckingshituniverse @inlovewith3 @give-jack-a-lightsaber

You looked at both of them, confused, as to why they were here. "Y/N, nice to see you again,"

You looked at your brothers and they shrugged, knowing nothing. "What are you guys doing here?"

Before they could answer, you heard the door open and you looked and saw your little sister walking in, followed by Jackson's little brother Reid. Now it makes sense. Jackson was here becuase your little sister was getting married to his little brother. "Look, they are here because they are imporantant ot Reid. I know the last time you two saw each other, it didn't go so well but please can you set that aside for my wedding?"

You bit your tounge but she's right, you didn't want to ruin your sister's wedding so you were just nodded. "What are you talking about?"

Your sister walked up to you and gave you a hug and whispered thank you in your ear. You whispered you're welcome back. When she pulled away, you were pulled into another hug but by Reid this time. You were pretty close to Reid when you and Jackson were dating. Hell, both families were but when you broke up, you broke up with the entire family and didn't talk to no one in that family. It was just too hard. "Long time, no see, huh?"

You patted his back while his arms were still wrapped around. "Yep,"

He finally let you go and held you at arm length to look at you. "So tell me, how are you? Are you dating someone?"

Before you could answer, you heard Rose mumble something about you still being in love with Jackson and that you were pathetic. You saw Casey walking up to you after you heard that and you linked arms with him. "I am. This is my boyfriend Matt. Matt, this is my little sister y/s/n and her finacee Reid and his brother Jackson and his girlfriend Rose,"

You hinted at their names as these two were what you were talking about last night. He looked at you for a few seconds before he got it but one he did he smiled and shook Reid's and Jackson's hand. Rose scoffed. "Oh, why did you meet?"

"At work. He's a lieutenant at the firehouse I work at,"

Jackson looked as it he didn't believe it. "I thought a lieutenant wasn't suppose to be dating someone that is below rank?"

Before I could answer, Matt responded. "That would only be true if she was still a candidate which she isn't, she a full blown firefighter and a kick ass one at that. Also, even though she stll has to listen to me cause I'm a higher rank, she's not my charge,"

They looked confused at that. You rolled your eyes. "I'm not on the same truck as him. He's a lieutenant on 81, I'm a firefighter on truck 51. So my lieutenant is a man named Herrmann, understood?"

They seemed still a little confused but nodded anyways. "Y/N, can I talk to you alone for a second in your room?"

You nodded.

You walked into your room and shut the door when Casey stepped through it. "Look, I know I put you in a tight spot, it just came out and-"

Casey laughed and walked up to you and placed both his hands on your face. "It's fine but you could gave me a warning next time,"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know they were coming. I didn't even know my sister was dating Reid,"

He dropped his hands and looked at the hole in the wall. "They are the reason you have a hole in your wall?"

You came into your room after a long day at college and work and you flopped on your bed on your bed and started to scrolled through your phone to get to your boyfriend's name. You called him and he didn't pick up. You called him again. No pick up. You called him four times and he didn't pick up and you were started to get worried, so you called his mom and she said he didn't know where he was. You were just about to call Reid when you got a text;

"5678 West Olive St. There's where you will find your boyfriend. Don't shoot the messanger,"

You grabbed your keys and drove to the location. The location was at a house you didn't know but there was a massive party going on. You looked at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight. You parked your car halfway down the street and walked into the house that was filled with drunk morons who stunk. You pushed yourself through the entrance and started to look around to see if you could spot anyone but that didn't take long before two of your friends came running up to you, drunkilly giving you hugs. "III thought youuuu didn'ttt care to knoww where this party was,"

"I didn't but someone texted me to come. Where's Jackson?"

The girls shrugged and walked away, you heard felt your phone vibrate in your hand;

"Upstairs. Third door on your right,"

You walked up the stiars, not knowing what to expect but you went to the third door and opened it up and there you saw your boyfriend and the girl who single handly made your life hell in high school about to get it on. You let out a audible gasp and they broke apart and saw you. Jackson got up but you ran out of the house and drove home.

Once you got home, you texted the number.

"Why'd you tell me that?"

It took him a few minutes to respond.

"Because you don't deserve that. I'm sorry, I shouldve told you sooner but this isn't the first time they've done this. I just recently found out they were hooking up during high school as well. Since the beginning of your relationship,"

You didn't know what to think or what to do, you had all kinds of emotions going on and you had to let it out somehow and without thinking you bawled your hand into a fit and punched your wall as you screamed out your anger and hurt. You pulled your hand out from the hole and just stare at it. "Y/N?"

You turned around and faced your mom, your mom looked down at your hand. "Oh my gosh, you're bleeding!"

You looked down at your hand and saw that blood was dripping from your hand onto the carpet. You didn't feel anything. No pain from your hand. No heatbroken pain. You were just numb. After going to the hospital, you had broken your hand in two places. You also decided that after college, you were going to move from this city and never come back unless its famly related.

You looked at the hole and then back to Casey. "Yeah,"

"Why didn't you or your parents ever fix it?"

You shrugged. "I was never home after that and my parents, I dont know why,"

Casey pulled you into a hug and you hugged him back. You were still upset with him at how he had been treating you at the firehouse but you were glad that he had your back with this. "Well let's go back downstairs and mingle,"

"Ugh, do we have too?"

"I mean, its your family,"

----

You, Matt, your family, Reid and his brother and Rose all went and looked at the venue for the wedding which was at a hotel that you guys were now standing at and it was goregous. It was defintely your sister's dream wedding veune. Every now and then, Rose would kiss Jackson or talk about their wedding that coming up and then she'd look directly at you. It was obivious she was trying to make you jealous. You would roll your eyes and Casey would see that and either put his arm around your shoulders, kiss the side of face or your forehead, or hold your hands or say something incredibly sweet. This was just making you fall for Casey even harder than before. You were starting to think this was going to end badly.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x04 Review

Wow I loved this episode it was really really good. It definitely felt like a fresh start for the show. It was fun seeing the characters as adults and seeing what they have been up to in the last seven years some of their storylines were really heartbreaking and they’ve all had their strugglings but all the storylines caught my attention and I am excited to see them play out. So lets dive in and talk about the episode. The usual disclaimer stands these are just my own thoughts and opinions and of course there are spoilers so the rest is under the cut. 

Archie

So the episode jumps right into the action from the start where we see a dream or rather a nightmare that Archie is having. As predicted poor Archie has PTSD and is struggling with what he went through when at war. What was interesting is the dream gives us some details on what happened to Archie during the time he was in the war zone. It seems like he was part of a mission to rescue a fellow soldier who had fallen behind enemy lines. I am assuming that the soldier in question is Corporal Jackson. It also seems like Archie was definitely a hero in this scenario as his commanding officer says that the men in his unit are alive because of Archie giving the impression that he saved more than just Jackson’s life. It is also obvious that Archie feels alot of guilt about the ones that he couldn’t save. I do want to talk about the dream some more though as another interesting thing is that Archie subconciously melded his two worlds together to give us this surreal scene of a battle and a football game. I do think this dream could be symbolic of what is to come in the season. I could also be reading way too much into it but it is still interesting to explore. For example the first person to fall is Reggie and we see Archie pause and look back calling for him. When Archie arrives back in Riverdale it is to the news that Reggie now works for Hiram. So you could say that he was the first to fall under Hiram’s spell/ manipulation/ power or whatever you want ot call it. We don’t know yet why or how Hiram and Reggie came to be working together. The next person to fall is Jughead but unlike Reggie Jughead talks to Archie. But what he says I think is significant. He says ‘Archie, just a little help.’ I think this could indicate Jughead’s struggle with alcoholism. I do think Archie and Jughead could end up mirroring Fred and FP. When FP was struggling with alcoholism Fred was the one who tried to help him by giving him a job and later he took in Jughead when he found out Juggie was homeless and was willing to give FP a job again. I do think Archie will help Jughead get through these struggles in a similar way that Fred helped FP. However I also think some of this could be a representation of Archie’s guilt about how he betrayed Jughead when he kissed Betty and that maybe he feels some responsibility for the pain Jughead is going through now because of that. 

It is also worth noting that Archie also sees his friends, Veronica, Betty, Cheryl, Kevin, Fangs, Sweet Pea and Pop Tate cheering him on from the sidelines as he tries to rescue Jughead. I do think this will show that while Archie will be the most involved in helping Jughead heal all of their friends are going to surround them with support. We have to remember that Archie himself is struggling and so I think this might indicate how the whole group will support each other. I also think some of it sybolises what kept Archie going whilst he was at war. It was the memory of his friends and his desire to one day see them again. 

The last part of the dream is showing Hiram holding Archie at gun point as he tries to save Jughead and Archie freezing up. To me this scene did remind me a bit of the scene where the black hood holds Archie at gun point in Pop’s also that last gunshot before he wakes up reminded me of that gunshot going off in the season 1 finale when Fred got shot. I think in this moment Archie is confronted with what he fears the most, freezing up right when he is supposed to be saving someone he cares about. I also think its a foreshadow of the war that’s to come between Hiram and Archie. 

Anyway leaving the the dreamworld behind, Archie is told that he is being reassigned to restart the RROTC at Riverdale high. So that means Archie is heading home. He obviously isn’t happy about the orders wanting to head back out to the frontlines but I think he’s probably being reassigned because of his PTSD. This is a bit of a divergent but I couldn’t help but laugh a little when Archie’s soldier friend said Riverdale sounded nice. But Archie gave him his address so it looks like that poor guy will showing up later to discover how wrong that statement was. I am intrigued by his character so am looking forward to seeing him pop back up again in Riverdale.  

Once Archie gets back to Riverdale we get alot of information from Toni about what has been going on in Riverdale since they’ve all be gone. We learn that Hiram is stripping Riverdale’s budget to fund SoDale which caters to the rich. I have to say I’m ok with this storyline. When I saw the interview that Archie and Hiram were going up against each other again I was less than enthusiastic about it. But this makes sense to me, I can see why Hiram would do this and yes I do think it is very in character for Archie want to save Riverdale. Also I think because we know it won’t be just Archie but a whole collection of characters like Toni, Alice, Kevin and the rest of the core four going up against Hiram, it won’t feel too much like a rehash of the same storyline. Also this is a little silly but didn’t anyone else feel like Archie was more upset about the bus stops than he was with the fire station getting burned down. Like when he saw the fire station it was like hmm we should rebuild this but when he saw the bus stops he was all WHerE ArE PeOplE GoiNG To SiT!! I dunno maybe its just me but I found that kinda funny. Of course that did give us some more information, we learnt earlier that the Serpents now drive trucks and Toni says sometimes her trucks use the lonely highway. But they never go at night and that bad things happen at night on that highway. This is interesting because we see that girl at the end, who well its pretty obvious she was killed, get into a truck at night. So this tells us either its not a Serpent because Toni said they don’t travel at night or one of her serpents has gone rogue. 

Archie decides that if they are going to save Riverdale then they need reinforcements and so he calls the core four back. I must admit it was a little sad when he said to Toni could they go and see if any of them showed up because it shows that Archie had doubts whether they would or not. I mean that last scene with the core four to me reminded me of the scene in season 1 when Vee and Bee were sitting together at Pop’s and then Archie and Jughead come in and Betty invites them to join them and its shows them all laughing together, only this one was really sad because they weren’t laughing together in fact the atmosphere was very strained and tense. It was sad to think of that comparison. But that being said I do think it is a testament to their bond that they did all show up when Archie called. I also liked that he said Toni was as much a part of it as anyone, like thank you Archie speak that truth.     

Overall I liked Archie’s storyline this episode. I liked his new friendship with Toni and I hope that continues. I also feel like he has alot more maturity and seems more sure of himself, he seems alot more grounded than before. But whilst I think the Army helped him in many ways it has also led him to alot of trauma and pain. His PTSD I think will be a big part of his arc this season and I hope they do it justice. 

Betty

The next person we are shown is Betty and to be honest I don’t think it was a coincidence that they showed us Betty right after Archie. I think their storylines are very similar. Both have gone through something horrifying and traumatic and both are struggling with PTSD, both have had their seniors give them different roles in their jobs and both of them are struggling with this believing they can be more useful if they could go back to what they were doing before the trauma. It does seem like both of them are denying that they are struggling and are refusing to confront that trauma. I do think that Betty and Archie are going to be going on the same journey this season, I think they will turn to each other for comfort and over time they will encourage the other to face their trauma and heal together. 

We learn from Betty’s therapy sessions that she is still a trainee and also that she messed up on one of her investigations. It seems one of the villians this season is The Trash Bag Killer or TBK as they sometimes refer to them. I’m not going to lie when I first heard the name I half laughed and half rolled my eyes at how ridiculous a name it was. And then I found out why they are called that and that’s just horrifying, like suddenly that name didn’t seem so funny when its because he dismembers bodies and then wraps all the individual pieces up in trash bags. Like that legit freaked me out so I think we might get an actual real stakes scary ass villian this season which will be both terrifying and fun at the same time, I guess seriously though I am going to have nightmares about those trash bags tonight. We also find out that Betty was held captive by TBK for two weeks and that she hasn’t spoken about her captivity to the therapist. Obviously she has deep trauma resulting from that. Also to me Betty rushing in there without any back up is very in line with her character. When doing investigations in Riverdale she never waited for backup and I think this is one of the things she is struggling with adjusting to outside of Riverdale. I think she learned a hard lesson that she has to rely on help sometimes. Similarly to Archie I do think she has alot of survivors guilt she has to work through and is regretting not being able to save people that she feels like she should have saved like Teresa and the other victims of TBK.  

The other thing we learn about Betty is that she seems to be in some kind of relationship with her boss Glen. I legit got so excited when I saw Glen purely because I recognised the actor who played a very sexy werewolf in a show called Bitten that I watched years ago so when I first saw him I was like CLAYTON??!! But once I got over the initial shock I decided I’m not a huge fan of Glen mostly because I didn’t like that comment about Betty’s serial killer brother. I mean he knows Betty has been through some crap and is struggling and he is just casually throwing out the reminder of her brother. Also it does not seem like Betty is all that invested in the relationship which makes me wonder if it isn’t really a commited relationship but more of a FWB kind of thing. I do feel like he wants more with Betty than she is willing to give. Like he was offering for them to get pizza and hang out at his place and she lied about meeting with friends and just went home to her cat which not going to lie relatable (except for me its go home to my puppy dog who is the most loyal man I have ever had in my life). So I am unsure on what their relationship really is as it wasn’t really made that clear. I mean to me he seemed really jealous and insecure when she said she had plans which again makes me lean more towards its a casual thing. We really don’t know anything about them, have they been on dates? Have they been intimate together? How did it start? How long has it been going on? We don’t have answers to any of this. I did see on IMDB that Glen is only listed for this one episode. However the main cast are only listed until episode 7 so I don’t think IMDB have information past episode 7 so he might still make an appearence after that. Also I don’t know if IMDB if 100% accurate but so far for me it has been very accurate. The reason why I say this is because we know next episode that Betty is going to be in the shower with someone. I did wonder when I first heard that Betty had a special relationship with a collegue that it might be them in the shower with Betty but Glen has a beard for one thing so unless he shaves it can’t be him, the person in the shower is clean shaven. Also like I said he isn’t listed as being in episode 2 on IMDB so I’m fairly sure its not him in the shower, which again makes me feel like it is more of a casual thing. I mean we know Betty can cheat shes done it before but I’m not sure if they would go that route with her again but we’ll see. 

I again liked Betty’s set up. I am curious to see where this TBK plot is going. I also wonder if it will link up with the trucker killer I also wonder if TBK is someone we know already, maybe its Chic. I don’t think it would be Charles because although he is a killer I don’t think he would hurt any of his family. I know that they were in prison last we saw them but we don’t know if they still are so they could be a possibilty. I did hear that both actors were seen in the area where they film Riverdale so who knows. I really do hope that Betty does get some time to heal now that she has her friends around her again. 

Veronica        

Ok this one is not going to be a unpopular opinion I think, I haven’t been in the riverdale tag yet as I didn’t want to be spoiled before I saw the episode and then I started writing this review right away, so I don’t know what everyones opinion on it was but here it goes. I didn’t hate Veronica’s husband Chad. Like from the interviews I really thought I would hate him but to me he just came across as a husband who had seen his wife nearly die and was now being too protective of her. I know before the episode everyone was describing Chad as being a controlling abusive husband but I didn’t really get that from this episode. Now I do want to make it clear that I do feel like this might change. I mean the next synopsis says he is having her followed so I do feel like he is going to get worse and I’ll then end up hating him but from this episode alone not so much. I think its just that his reasons make sense. I also feel like the problems in the relationship are less to do with Chad being controlling and more to do with a break down in communication. For example the whole having a child thing. I think its perfectly natural for Chad to want to have a child with his wife, especially when they’ve just had a near death experience that might make Chad feel like they should sieze every opportunity before its gone. I also think its completely fine for Veronica not to want children and to focus on her career. But before we go painting Chad as the evil husband who is trying to force his wife into having children we need to remember that Veronica hasn’t told Chad she doesn’t want children right now. When Chad said he thought this would be the year Veronica replies ‘hopefully’. Now with that response it would seem to anyone like she too wants to have children. She might have told Hermione about her true feelings about the subject but she hasn’t told her husband. Even later when they are having an argument and Chad says ‘we’re suppose to be trying to have a baby’ she still doesn’t tell him that she doesn’t want a child. Also I was kinda on Chad’s side about Veronica lying about where she was working. Like I understand that Veronica wanted to avoid an argument but he is right that would have been very awkward and embarassing for Chad to show up at what he thinks is his wife’s place of work and talk to her friend and discover that his wife doesn’t work there anymore. But again that was a result of the lack of communication. On the flip side of all of that you’ve got Chad who is trying to bubble wrap his wife and its like Veronica said he has forgotten who is wife is, Veronica is a tough gal who doesn’t need to be bubble wrapped. I think all of the problems they are facing right now were brought on by the accident. Chad might have really struggled with seeing his fiery, strong and passionate wife in such a vulnerable position after the accident. Seeing her so fragile then made him want to protect her but he takes it too far wanting her to reduce how much she works and even where she works. Veronica also admits to giving into Chad to avoid arguments. I do think their conversation at the end was good it seemed like they were opening that communication back up. But then Chad gave Veronica that egg. Again I don’t necessarily think this is all Chad’s fault and I don’t necessarily think that because he has given Veronica the same gift her Father gave Hermione that means he is evil. It is obvious from the fact that he talks about how a new one comes out every year that he doesn’t know that connection. Once again Veronica doesn’t tell him that she doesn’t like the egg she just sells it. For some reason Veronica seems to feel like she can’t be open with her husband which is worrying, I do think they are both a bit at fault here and they are both making mistakes, it seems like they’ve both been walking on egg shells around each other since that helicopter crash. We know from an interview that Chad is going to be jealous of Archie and I do think alot of that is going to be because he will see that Veronica and Archie, because of their history together, have an honest and open communication with each other and his wife isn’t being honest or open with him, he and his wife don’t have that when really they should. Unfortunately I do think this will cause Chad to act more and more possessive and irrational which is likely what will then lead to me hating him.  

As for Veronica’s job I am a bit confused about what it is exactly that she does. It looked to me like she was running a kind of underground slightly shady jewellery shop. But whatever shes doing it looked like she was flourishing. I mean she previously worked on wall street and it does seem like she really misses that line of work so hopefully one day she’ll be able to get back to doing what she loves. I am glad that it looked like she was standing up to her husband and making it clear to him what she wanted. I do hope she addresses the baby thing soon though and tells him that she doesn’t want one right now. Again I am interested to see where this storyline goes and just how far to the dark side they will take Chad’s character. Whether they will go full blown he’s the new hiram lodge or whether they’ll have him go pretty far but then give him a redemption arc. I could unfortunately see them give him a redemption arc and then killing him off which I hope they don’t do because that’s a worn out troupe. 

Jughead

So last of the core four is Juggie. Again what is interesting to me is like Betty and Archie, Jughead follows from Veronica and their storylines too are similar. Both of them are dissatisfied with their careers and are having realtionship troubles. Juggie is not in the best of places lets be honest. He had one successful book but now he has writers block, is drinking too much, is in a toxic relationship with his girlfriend jessica and has debt collectors banging at the door and yet the thing I was most shocked by was his new tattoos. Like all the other characters to me this storyline for Jughead makes sense. He has always seemed to draw inspiration from Riverdale for his stories so I think he is struggling to write now that he is left. I do think once he starts investigating a good old Riverdale mystery those creative juices will start to flow once more. I would also like to point out how there was no Jughead narration throughout the episode until those last few moments when Jughead is back in Riverdale and he narrates over Squeaky getting into that truck which could be seen as reaffirming that Jughead will be able to write again once now he’s home. I do also feel like Jug is struggling with the Barchie cheating incident. I think it has left deep wounds for him and I’m hoping now that he is back in riverdale they can start to heal them. I do think its not just the cheating thing though but also because they all broke their promise to meet up a year later. I do wonder if Jug has any bitterness towards the fact they didn’t keep their promise to meet a year later but when Archie called everyone came running. I mean Jughead did not look happy to be there at all and there was definitely tension between them all. Though I would say there was less tension between Archie and Veronica and Archie and Betty.  But I did pick up tension between Jughead and Betty and Jughead and Archie and also a little between Betty and Veronica. 

Anyway going back to Juggie. His girlfriend eventually leaves him because at this point she is tired and feels like Jughead cares more about his book than about her. I do wonder if we might see her again later. Jughead gets over her seemingly pretty quick though when he meets Cora at the bar. I do find it kinda funny that the topic that gets brought up that leads to him getting laid is effectively his relationship with Betty. But we do learn from that conversation with Cora that Jughead’s book is called outcasts and seems to have been based on the serpents and his romance with Betty seems to have been included in it. I do wonder if Jughead wrote the book as a way to sort through his feelings about the break down of his relationship with Betty and ultimately that didn’t work because he still had that pain and that feeling of betrayal. One thing I will say is that I hope that they don’t do a similar thing they did in One Tree Hill where Jughead can suddenly write again and he writes a book about Betty because it would feel a bit too much like he is being saved by Betty and it creates this dependant relationship where he can only write if he’s with Betty. I don’t know I’d just rather he is able to write because he is creative and a good writer not because he is in a relationship with a particular person if that makes sense. I feel like maybe right now he doesn’t know how to function outside of his relationship with Betty which is why he is so quick to sleep with another woman right after Jessica leaves, I feel like he might have been using other women to fill that void, so I would like to see him learn how to be his own person outside of any relationship, I feel like he kind of needs to find himself again. 

In regards to Cora, I mean that girl knew what she wanted but it made me so uncomfortable the way she went about getting what she wanted, I mean she effectively stalked Jughead. Also from the way she said if she didn’t hear from him she would call the debt collectors I feel like maybe she might show up again a bit later. To be honest whilst I feel like Jessica could reappear in a flashback I think Cora could show up and cause trouble in present day. 

Toni 

I am so happy with how much screentime Toni got this episode. She seems to have done pretty well for herself, she’s Serpent Queen and she runs the new White Wyrm, she’s got that serpent trucking business and she’s got a baby on the way which it seems like she is happy about. I am very curious about who the father is going to be. I am still thinking it could be a surrogacy thing with Kevin and Fangs. Maybe that’s why she isn’t telling anyone who the father is yet because fro whatever reason Kangs aren’t ready for people to know. It could be that the three will raise the baby together. Another person I thought it could be is Sweet Pea because of that moment when he talked about how when Toni came back and Toni cuts across him talking about them restarting the serpents. I could be projecting here but it seemed to me like maybe Toni was worried about waht Sweet Pea was going to say like he might say when Toni came back we started a fling and now we’re having a baby together. I’m not completely sold on that though it was just a thought I had. Another thought I had is maybe it is Jugheads. Maybe he came back to town for some reason or Toni met him in new york and they hooked up leading to her getting pregnant. Again I don’t think its very likely but it would be shocking and I do feel like they are going to try and shock us with it. I also feel like it has to be a character we have seen before. 

I am a little worried about Toni  though mainly because of the storyline of her having tht trucking business going on. We know that Vanessa has gone on maternity leave and that they recorded her scenes in advance but I still feel like she’s going to have to be a little more absent. I could see a storyline where the Trucker killer feels like Toni is getting in their way and so they decide to do something about her maybe kidknap her. Or maybe they threaten her leading to Toni leaving for a little while to protect herself and her baby.  

Cheryl

Ok Cheryl’s storyline really hit home for me and I got emotional about it. The whole story line where she hasn’t left Thorn Hill in years was particularly moving for me because I suffer from a condition called agoraphobia which seems to be what Cheryl is struggling with on top of other issues. It’s a very complicated condition and alot of people misconcieve it as meanign you can’t go outside but actually its more complicated than that. It is a fear of spaces precieved as unsafe. As a result alot of the time it will result in those with the condition being unable to leave their homes because their home is typically where they will feel safest. However at the same time it can make your home feel like a prison because even thoguh you might want to you physsically can’t bring yourself to leave your home. Cheryl believes that she is cursed and so many terrible things have happened to her that I’m not surprised if she now precieves as anywhere outside of Thorn Hill as not safe. It was also sad when she compared herself to Sarah Winchester and how she feels she is cursed and that curse will one day consume her. Cheryl is clearly in pain and I think she is using the painting as a coping mechanism. I really hope she is able to get help and begin to heal. 

I do feel like something else might have happened to Cheryl that we aren’t aware of. I notived she was wearing one glove in all the scenes we saw her in which is similar to how Penelope wore a glove after she was burnt. So I wonder if Cheryl is wearing the glove as a reminder of her mother or whether it is because she herself has been injured in some way and is covering it up. It also seems like her Nana Rose might want her to start a Art fraud business which is odd. Maybe they are struggling for money?  But other than that we didn’t learn much about Cheryl so it’ll be interesting to see where they take her character. I mean we saw in the trailer that she does eventually leave Thorn Hill. 

Other Little Things

Ok so here I jsut want to talk about some things that were too brief to warrant a whole section to themselves but that I still think are important. 

I am so happy that Kangs stayed together, they are super cute together and I hope we get to see more screen time for them and Sweet Pea. 

I wonder why Hiram wants Cheryl’s maple groves. I am assuming its something to do with SoDale but I can’t think how its related. 

It is interesting that they have brought Stonewall back into the storyline. It does make me wonder what happened to Donna after seven years. Is she still running from Charles not knowing that it was him and not knowing that he’s been caught? 

Theories for the next episode.

So as I usually do I am going to finish off with theories for what I think will happen in the next episode. 

1) The promo for the next episode starts off with a girl running from a truck. I think this girl will be Polly but I think it’ll come at the very end of the episode. the shot that was in the season trailer of Betty with a gun at home is also in this promo. I actually think Betty will hear a noise and go investigating and it’ll turn out to be Polly arriving there. Part of the reason why I think it could be Polly is because she has surprised Betty a few times before so it would make a parallel to those other scenes where Polly has popped up in the house surprising Betty. I think they will reintroduce her in this episode and then the last scene will be her running from the truck which will explain the synopsis for episode 6 where is says Alice, Kevin and Betty think Polly is in trouble. 

2) Another person that could surpise Betty is Archie. A large part of this is because one of the writers released three emoji’s to describe Barchie which was a gun, a pizza and a key. I think this one could be the gun emoji.  Also in the promo there is a shot of Archie and Betty in her room looking out her window and Archie saying he is going to take the town back. I think maybe Arch comes to talk to her and when she doesn’t open the door he just comes in thinking something might be wrong. I do think they might be at the window to spy on the ghoulies is Archie’s house. It is also worth noting that Archie is in the same clothes that he was in at the end of ep 4 when they were at Pop’s so I think this scene happens early in the episode. It is also possible that Archie stays at Betty’s to do like surveillence on the ghoulies. 

3) There is also a shot of Veronica in the blonde wig and it looks like she is either buying or selling one of those eggs. In the synopsis in talks about how Veronica gets crafty when she finds out Chad is having her followed so I do think this scene is related to that. The egg to me looks just like the one she sold this episode so maybe she is buying one back for some reason. 

4) We can see Hiram telling someone that maybe he should teach them a lesson. I think he might be talking to Archie here. I could see Archie going straight to Hiram after meeting with the gang and then going to Betty after that and making that I am taking back the town speech. 

5) Another scene in the trailer is Betty saying when are we going to kick their asses. I think her and Archie are making a plan to get the Ghoulies out of Archie’s house. We do also get a shot of the ghoulies and it looks like there is alot of them in there. It also looks like they have trashed the place. I do think its possible this is where the pizza emoji will come in I could see them having pizza while they strategize and the key could be to do with getting access/ control of Archie’s home back. We do also see scenes of Betty and Archie beating up the ghoulies with baseball bats so I reckon they will be successful in driving the ghoulies out.

6) We see Jughead at one point hiding behind the counter at Pop’s. We know from the synopsis that he is hiding from debt collecters. We also know that he is getting a new job I could see him getting a job at Pop’s. Again I think Jughead is very much mirroring his father right now and this would be another parallel between them.  

7) Ok so the shower scene. I am pretty sure that it is Barchie in that shower. But the question is how do they end up in the shower together. Well someone else earlier when that scene first came out said they thought the shower looked like Archie’s and yeah it definitely could be there is a window in the right place. So if it is Archie’s shower that maybe their blodd is running a little hot after beating up the ghoulies and the adrenaline is still pumping and that leads to them hooking up. Now I am being a very greedy Barchie shipper here but what if it doesn’t start out in the shower. What if they start out in the bedroom for example and then after decide to take a shower together and thats when they hook up for a second time. I’m just not sure why else they would both be in the shower. Unless they spend the whole episode having moments and the tension builds and builds as the episode goes on, then the fight gets their blood pumping and when one of them goes to have a shower to clean up the other just thinks to hell with it and joins the other one in the shower. 

Well as I said earlier I really enjoyed this episode and I am looking forward to seeing where it will all go. So until next time.   

[isaspsp]

Dream log:

It's been a while since I've had a dream log huh? Weĺl it's been a while since I had a dream worth remembering.

This dream starts with me and my best friends (two guys) being called by our boss/teacher for some emergency meeting. We are either policeman ir students? We meet at a café. Important note: magic exists, but it's either hidden or very few people know about it.

The boss/theacher tells us they have a job for us, but we need to be wearing tuxedos. And then just instantaneously we are all wearing tuxedos and are at the place. Yay, dream logic. We are all stting on a looong oval table, looking at a presentation on the wall. There are many other people sitting around the table. We are all wearing identical tuxedos. I sit at the end of the table. I am the only girl.

The boss/teacher than says we are there to participate in a study/organization/society/something (i don't remeber) of highly secret magic users. We are all exited. The presentation goes on. He explains that we will learn magic for the good of the people or something??? Anyways. He then turns to us and tells that we will now choose the Official color of our tuxedos (we were wearing black) no agent had the exact same shade, hue and saturation of tuxedo. Suddenly a screen appeared in front of everyone with a color wheel and sliders. Exept for me. It doesn't quite click with me that I didn't get one so U just watch everyone choose their colors.

After everyone choses their colors the boss/teacher teturns to his presentation, and says that the color of our tuxedos will now be the same as our magic. There is more talk about stuff and then he says: "and only men are allowed" and then I'm startled. I'm not a man. My friends look at me and suddenly all of the table is looking at me. I start laughing because I find it hilarious that the teacher invited a girl to this very serious society that aparently only takes men. Some other people laugh too. The boss walks my way. He looks pissed. Well he always kinda looks pissed, but it's extra serious. I stop laughing, just rembereing I'm kinda not supposed to be there. He gets to me side and my chair magically turns to him. He looks at me. I feel small.

He asks what color I want my tuxedo in. I reply "yellow or just black is fine." He then walks back to his presentation and a color wheel appears. Without looking at it he selects a random yellow. It's not QUITE what I wanted but super close, a bit too grey, but that was it.

We then get our wands. Magic can be performed in may ways, but since we were learning we are gonna use wands (the easiest one to master) we then are taken to this library esque space with multiple animals hanging around free. Somehow I miss the next instructions, but a guy in front of me is casting a spell on a miniature marmoset. There are other people casting spells on whatver they can find. But I watch the guy and the marmoset. His magic is light lavender. The little animal is trying to run but the lavender powder from the wand won't let it escape. And then it stops and sits. It looks back at its master, then at me. Half of its face and back are covered in sparkly lavender powder. The guy then carefully approaches the marmoset. He extends a finger to it. The marmoset then climbs onto his finger.

I realize I still haven't cast my spell on anything and frantically go look for an animal, but I know all have already been claimed. I then go look for a book. A few people are enchanting the books. I then go chose a book. I endup stumbling on a book I've read called "girl on ice" or somerhing among those lines. The cover is different from the one I have. While my cover just has an fractured ice background, this book has a frozen face delicately looking to the side. I decide to cast the spell on the face.

I cast my spell and the flat face on the book starts turning to me it then makes opens its eyes. It starts going foward until the face is fully out of the cover and in the real world. It's made of snow and snowflakes float/fall around it along with the yellow powder that is my fagic. And then the exercise is over. At this pont I can feel myself waking up, but I force myself to sleep more because this dream is interesting.

We are transported to the main hall. It's a huge place with avrious random structures to lounge on. I see a couple agents out and about. Everyone is wearing tuxedos in some way ot form. Papers are dropped in front of me It seems I was the last in line to fill my info. When I find the only blank paper I start filling out my info. But there is something already filled. Sex. It has an M. It's the boss/teacher 's writing. I wonder, if only men are allowed to join, why would they even need to ask that? But then I think it might just be a way to catch the perpetrators, who might automatically fill in something else. I know I would have. The boss/teacher must have really wanted me to be there to lie. I finish ny papers. And wake up.

[baddyzarc]

4b/7 Ruins: Legend of the Dragons

1 2 3 4a x 5 6 7  

Part 2 of Mizael’s Ruins

Alright, I’m going to get into some deep lore in regards to the Zexal Universe and how Jinlon and Mizael and even Kaito fit into it.

To begin, the Universe was created by the Numeron Dragon eons ago. By doing this, the dragon used all of its power and will die as a result. Sad that it will never be able to witness its creation grow (which, you aint missing much, buddy), it shedded a single tear. This teardrop contained the Numeron Code, or the dragon’s knowledge, emotions, and the ability to rewrite the Universe. The Numeron Code landed on Earth. In the Zexal Universe, this was the event that created the Moon, which is also where the remaining fragments of the Numeron Dragon (in the form of “Number 100: Numeron Dragon’’) reside. Fearing that it’s powers would be used for evil, the Numeron Dragon hid the Code and placed a key on it.

According to Astral, the location of the Numeron Code is revealed when Numbers 1 to Numbers 100 is collected because of how it relates to his memory. But this causes some problems when it comes to the plot, but I’ll explain that later.

To awaken the sealed Numeron Dragon and obtain “Number 100″, the Numeron Dragon embedded a riddle into a stone tablet that Kaito found in the cave near Mizael’s ruins:

“Dragons of light and time, clash at thy place of birth. Then shall the eyes of the galaxies awaken for the first time, opening a gate to a new world.”

This riddle is rather straight-forward especially with the imagery used. The time dragon is “Number 107: Galaxy-Eyes Tachyon Dragon” and the light dragon is “Number 62: Galaxy-Eyes Prime Photon Dragon”. The place where they clash is the Moon (this is given to us via Jinlon), and the “eyes of the galaxies” is not the eyes of the Galaxy-Eyes Dragons, but of the Numeron Dragon itself.

By fulfilling the conditions of the riddle, the Numeron Dragon is able to reawaken for a brief moment to fix whatever shit its children got themselves into “open the gates to a new world”. I take that this means it grants the usage of the Numeron Code upon the winner. 

But the phrase that interests me is “clash at thy place of birth”. 

Now, this states that Tachyon Dragon and Photon Dragon were created on the surface of the Moon and they need to fight to awaken the Numeron Dragon. This may seem like an odd choice because we’re under the presumption that Tachyon Dragon was made by Don Thousand or that the Number Cards (including “Number 62: Galaxy-Eyes Prime Photon Dragon”) were made by Astral when his memories scattered. 

But I think you have to consider how the Moon was made in this show, what the dragons represent, and what the Numbers are.

Okay, to keep it simple, in real life 4.5 billion years ago, a huge rock crashed into Earth, pushing a bunch of debris into space. The debris conglomerate together over time to form the Moon; as such, the Moon is primarily made of Earthly materials. This is slightly different from Zexal’s story, with the Numeron Dragon’s teardrop playing the role of the huge rock. The outcome is more or less the same.

Alright, so from here, we can start to theorize about Photon Dragon and Tachyon Dragon’s relationship to the Moon, and how Dragluon plays into this. After all, Dragluon is one of the dragons of the stone tablet despite not having a place in the riddle.  

So what is the role of Dragloun exactly? And how did the Numeron Dragon anticipate the fight between the Barians and the Astrals (aside from being an omni-force). 

For starters, Dragluon goes all the way back to the “three worlds” that Zexal has.

The Three Worlds of Zexal is sorta like Heaven, Hell, and Earth. Heaven for Astral World, Hell for Barian World, and then Earth as the, well, the Earth. The land of the living where your actions decide your fate. 

However, from Don Thousand, we know that the Heaven and Hell bits aren’t true. Not exactly, but Barian World and Astral World appear to function like it. The actual descriptions for Astral and Barian World is a little simpler than Heaven and Hell.

Order and Disorder, Cosmos and Chaos, these are the true depictions of Astral and Barian World rather than Heaven and Hell (although it does have a very nice ring to it). And at the center of things is the middle man, a balance of both—Earth. You can’t have two sides of a coin without the edge, and the Earth is the glue connecting the opposing sides. And for the sake of simplifying this, I’m going to call the “power” of Earth as Parity. 

Parity is what happens when Chaos and Cosmos meet. This could be most easily seen in the Zexal Morphs, which are a combination of Astral, a creature of the Cosmos, and Yuma, who is confirmed to be a fragment of Don Thousand, of Chaos. Blues and Reds respectively.

I also want to note that the three primary colors are often associated with heroes, while secondary colors are often associated with villains (these are trends, not a concrete black-and-white concept). 

When Astral and Yuma work together, they glow the last and primary color, yellow, for their Zexal Morphs. But when they are in disequilibrium, they glow the secondary color purple (also the color you make when you mix red and blue). This shows that there could be a distinct relationship between how Chaos and Cosmos interact each other: the outcome could be very good and improves upon the characteristics of each. Or it could lead to relentless self-destruction.  

Of course, sometimes a door is red because it’s just red. Nasch’s main color is purple and Don Thousand’s final form has a yellowish glow, so perhaps all these colors have zero correlation to the characters at all. These are just some observations I made when it comes to depicting each world with their respective colors.

But this may be what the Numeron Dragon meant when it was afraid that the Numeron Code could fall into the wrong hands. Not Barians or Astrals specifically, but the people of the Cosmos or people of Chaos abusing the Code’s powers to wipe each other out. This is exactly what Eliphas wanted to do because he saw Chaos as impure and limiting as well as Don Thousand for about the same reason.

To prevent this travesty, the Numeron Dragon sealed the Numeron Code away with the final key to it being itself, or “Number 100: Numeron Dragon”.

“Thy place of birth” may not mean that the dragons were literally born on the surface of the Moon, but it may mean that the impact that made the Moon also led to the creation of Chaos and Cosmos and Parity. By extension, this is where the dragons were truly born. Think of it as a stardust type of thing. Yeah, we humans are born on Earth probably by another human, but our atoms and molecules and elements? Those were made up in space. Tachyon Dragon was made by Don Thousand, but the Chaos he used to forge Tachyon Dragon was made on the Moon.

But onto the Numbers since all the dragons are Numbers and they get complicated so bear with me.

Okey, disclaimer and anyone is welcome to challenge my stance on what exactly Numbers are because they are absolutely limitless. We have Astral’s memory Numbers, Over-Hundred Numbers, those bug Barians Numbers, Imaginary Numbers, Mythyrian Numbers, Chaos Numbers made by Shark, Yuma, the Arclights, maybe Number XX yeah that guy remember him,,, 

and the only explanation we get for them is that they amplify emotions and take on the form of the beholder’s desires. At least, the first 100 Numbers do. Anyways please do, I like reading interpretations on what these things are. 

So I’m going to try to explain how I see it. 

My first statement is that Numbers are not a direct product of the Astrals ot Astral. My guess is that Numbers are a general manifestation of power made with either Chaos, Cosmos, or Parity. The Original 100 (aka Astral’s Memory Numbers) is made by the Numeron Dragon, as opposed to the ones made Don Thousand, for example. This explains why the Numeron Dragon is “Number 100”. If it is included as one of Astral’s memories, it’s kinda blasphemous ngl. 

My conclusion came from a certain flaw in the show’s logic (which is fine bc its yugioh but im trying to knot things together here). The show states that Astral knows where the Numeron Code is, so when his memories got scattered, the location scattered with it in the form of the Numbers. However, it is never stated how Astral knows its location. Like, who told him that? Eliphas? The only creature that should know is the Numeron Dragon, and it’s dead. A possible explanation is that the Numeron Dragon placed the coordinates of the Numeron Code in the first 100 Numbers, and since Astral had the Numbers, he knew where it was. 

But yet, why are the Numbers so dangerous if they were made by a benevolent God? They’re made by a God, for starters. They’re supposed to be ultra powerful and unfit for mortal hands. 

And if the Numbers lead to the Numeron Code, it may be that the Numeron Dragon didn’t want someone who couldn’t handle the 100 Numbers to be handling the all-powerful source code. 

We also know that the Numbers tend to absorb a handful of stuff. The Mythyrian Numbers took in the Guardians and “Number 96: Black Mist” had a piece of Don Thousand stuck on it. It is likely that the Numbers absorbed Astral’s memories, so when they scattered, they took his memories with them rather than the other way around.

Furthermore, Astral’s Airship is kinda of an enigma. Like, what is it? Who built it? Why can it do things like store all 100 Numbers as well as track down certain Numbers. If the Numbers are just Astral’s memories, how are they able to fit into the slots on the Airship, which isn’t part of Astral memories?

To go along with the Numbers being separate from Astral, it’s easy to say the Astral World built the Airship to harness the Numbers’ powers and knowledge. So it is likely that the mechanism behind the Airship was how Astral was going to find Numeron Code.

But simply put, Astral World probably collected most of the first 100 Numbers before the Barians did, created Astral and the Airship using the Numbers with the goal of fighting Don Thousand or going to Earth to find the Numeron Code so they could wipe out Barian World. Kinda like Silvally but he kills Barians. His original battle with Don Thousand and Kazuma’s meddling caused Astral to lose all the Number Cards he had (and since his only purpose and identity is tied to the Numbers, he lost all of his memories as well), allowing the Barians to scramble in to try to collect them before the Astrals can. This is why some Numbers were in the hands of the Barians, like “Numbers 80: Madness-Draped Supreme King - Rhapsody in Berserk” and “Numbers 58: Flame Pressure Demon - Burner Visor”

The Number Cards do not belong to either party; it just happened that Astral World managed to get them and use their powers first. This becomes important when we talk about Jinlon later.

The biggest plot hole that I can pick up is because of “Number 100: Numeron Dragon”. Astral definitely should not have that one. Astral might’ve gotten 99 at the very most, then lost the Mythyrians, Numeron Gates, and some other cards to Don Thousand, then the rest when he crashed into Yuma. 

It is possible that he never had all 100 Numbers, but who knows.

But back to the dragons:

“Number 100: Numeron Dragon″ can only be obtained when the “dragons of light and time clash” fight each other on the Moon. 

Mizael said that since the condition requires a Barian (or a Chaos) dragon, then the Numeron Code belongs to the Barians. 

And he’s about half right. The condition does requires a Chaos dragon, but I say that it also requires a Cosmos dragon and a Parity Dragon as well.

Cosmos and Chaos took shape in the form of Photon Dragon and Tachyon Dragon. Tachyon Dragon is obviously a creature born from the powers of Chaos while Photon Dragon is harder to pick up, but it is directly stated that it uses the power of the Astrals, or Cosmos.

And why as dragons? Ehh The Numeron Dragon is a dragon, and what better way than to battle in the image of the Creator. (also dragons are sick af)

The most peculiar concept is that the last Number can only be accessed when the Cosmos and Chaos are actively fighting against each other, and it’s strange to think that the Numeron Dragon would set up the situation where the strongest object in the Universe can only be achieved through war. 

But this is exactly where Dragluon, Jinlon, and Parity fit into this legend.

Dragluon (and Jinlon by association) are the representatives for Parity. 

Dragluon is often represented with the yellow colors of Earth in a similar manner of base-form Photon Dragon using the blues of Astral World or base-form Tachyon Dragon using the reds of Barian World. These are the three dragons representing the Three Worlds.

Unlike the other two, Jinlon/Dragluon is like a neutral observer. He is the balance sitting between Kaito and Mizael to watch the battle unfold and judge it.

It isn’t a coincidence that Dragluon is one of the dragons required to awaken the powers of the Numeron Dragon. If the dragon representing the balance between the two other worlds was not present to witness the battle, it is unlikely that the last Number would reveal itself, thus locking access to the key and Numeron Code. 

Also, the Moon itself is composed mainly of Earthly materials. Since the Earth is represented as Parity, the Moon is a neutral ground for the clash between Chaos and Cosmos. It does not favor the victory of one or the other (Jinlon got involved in the duel to awaken Mizael’s true memories, but other than that, he did not interrupt the flow of the duel between the Galaxy-Eyes. Mizael’s resolve as a Barian Emperor did not change with this encounter). 

Although situational, the presence of Parity also explains certain phenomenons that occurrs in areas where it’s presence is the strongest, particularly at Mizael’s ruins/Dragluon’s home and the Moon. Astral’s ship stopped working, Orbital 7 (whose energy supply runs on Barianite) couldn’t function properly, and Mizael cannot tap into his Barian powers.

The Moon appears to have the same effect on the characters until they enter the battle-zone, where the clashing parties are allowed to fight. Parity neutralizes the effects of Cosmos and Chaos. 

As to why Jinlon ascended into the role as the Mythyrian Number and the representative for Parity, I have a small theory for that. 

Jinlon is a divine dragon who is much older than the show made him out to be. I reckon that he was one of the first life made by the Numeron Dragon (image of god, you know) and he stated that he witnessed the original battle between Astral and Don Thousand. 

His choice of wording here is telling. He shows obvious disdain towards the war on both sides, and I think this intensified after his encounter with Mizael. 

Going back to the origins of Mizael, I want to talk about the colors of the Three Worlds once more. Now, I truly do not know if this is intentional, but the flashback to Mizael’s childhood has heavy usage of the blue, red, and yellow color palette.    

When Mizael fled from the massacred village, the village lighted up due to the flames burning his home to the ground down while the surrounding sand was blue due to the darkness of the night. In this sense, Mizael is running from the source of his anger and sadness into freedom and safety, or from disorder to order. But the deeper he went in, the desert proved to not be the safe place he desired. The desert shifted between the intense Barian reds and Astral blues as Mizael transversed the landscape. 

And Mizael was dying during these scenes. It’s almost as though he’s being persuaded into two worlds; either ascend with grief to become a Barian, or let it all go to become an Astral. 

It was Jinlon who came to save Mizael. Like, I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot, but Jinlon appeared to Mizael with the colors of Parity. He engulfed Mizael in it and prevented him from entering either of the worlds too soon. Jinlon is a being who exists outside of Barian and Astral World’s conflicts. 

This is why he became Dragluon. Jinlon is already a creature of Parity with or without his association to Dragluon, and thus his death and closeness to the Mythyrian Number + Mizael resulted in his attachment to “Number 46: Ethereal Dragon Dragluon”, the ultimate dragon representing Parity. 

To that whole bit with the Astral’s Numbers, this is why Dragluon being made from Astral’s memories, as well as the other stuff I stated, doesn’t make much sense. (Maybe without the meddling of Don Thousand, instead of becoming an Astral when he died, Mizael may have shared a fate similar to Jinlon and been reborn as a creature of Parity given how often he is associated with the yellow colors. Maybe, just thinking).

As a neutral force, Jinlon leads the dragon-tamers down what they think is the correct path for the future. 

Aside from being convenient to the plot, Jinlon spends time with Kaito and Mizael. And likewise, Mizael and Kaito are characters who tether dangerously close to the line between Cosmos and Chaos. Kaito starts off as a heartless, cold killer, after all, and Mizael is strange for an antagonist; even going as far as fighting Don Thousand, the actual villain of the show (but most of the barians are like this for a reason that I’ll explain once I get to Vector). Although Mizael is massively arrogant and despises humans, he also commended the Arclights for sacrificing themselves, and he puts his true heart and loyalty out for the Barians. To add onto this, after acquiring his true memories, Mizael is adamant that he is still a creature of Chaos, and so he fights for Barian World despite his past leading him to be an Astral.

Yes, this isn’t a single case either. Alito was the first to recognize his past as a true Astral, yet he continues to fight for Barian World. Nasch is the strongest case for this, as he willingly chose to be a Barian. Chaos is not synonymous with evil. 

But back to Mizael. Mizael is someone who is dead-set on being a Barian no matter the circumstance. He fights for Barian World from what he knows of that world. He knows that his people aren’t evil (look, Barian World got Iris, alright) and he knows that Barian World is where his cherished allies and companions live. He lived as a Barian Emperor for possibly thousands of years. His commitment and love for dragons is also his most commendable trait. Mizael is a man who puts his trust in dragons, good or bad. Despite being a creature of Chaos, he also bears certain Cosmos traits. 

The same could be said for Kaito too. Kaito is supposed to be of the Cosmos as indicated by his usage of Prime Photon Dragon, yet his passion is much weaker than Mizael. Bluntly put, Kaito is selfish. The show states this. He uses Photon Dragon not out of respect for dragons but because it ended up being the easiest path to save Haruto and Dr. Faker. He lacks the heart that would make him a true Astral. 

The characters change. 

Mizael sheds a tear for an enemy, a repulsive human of all things, and Kaito wants them to meet again one day not as enemies but as friends. 

They represent both worlds, but they can meet in the middle too.

This nuisance is why I think Jinlon exists as the creature guiding them towards this fight. He brings out the Parity between Cosmos and Chaos. He not only finds two souls that represent both worlds, but also how both worlds can intermix. 

And hey, Kaito won the Moon Duel, essentially winning the future for Astral World. But it was Mizael who made it out alive. In a way, there was no true winner of the Moon Duel.

I wanna get back to this image right here.  

I could talk about how Tachyon Dragon is based on tachyon particles, which are hypothetical particles faster than light, and how Photon Dragon represents light through photon particles, or how Dragluon is based off of gluons, the elementary exchange particles that are essential for the force binding neutrons and protons together, the atoms that make matter and life possible.

But you know um. I’m actually not that smart and am not qualified to talk about those relationships.

Yet, I think it’s telling that the three dragons representing the Three Worlds emit a yellow glow as they awaken the Numeron Dragon.

When the Numeron Dragon made the Universe and the Numeron Code, it did not want a clash between Cosmos and Chaos to see who deserves to survive. It didn’t want its creations to destroy each other. It wanted them to clash on the Moon so they can prove that despite the war, despite the hatred, despite the meddling, both sides are capable of finding Parity, that peace is possible between them, that Kaito and Mizael can meet eye-to-eye and sympathize with each other.  The dragons were no longer fighting as Cosmos or Chaos but as Parity.

The Numeron Dragon will only grant access to the Numeron Code to the persons that are worthy of it. In the end, Mizael and Kaito were both worthy of obtaining “Number 100: Numeron Dragon” because they proved themselves as people capable of Parity. 

Call me a dreamer, but I think that’s why the final fight belongs to the characters that represent the Three Worlds. Nasch of the Barians, Kaito who wields the power of the Astrals, and not Yuma or Astral but Zexal III, the strongest combination of Chaos and Cosmos. 

These three worlds are able to work together to defeat Don Thousand, a person who would’ve used the Numeron Code for only destruction and personal gain. 

Kaito and Zexal III (although I’m not sure if this is different from Yuma and Astral as individuals, ceremonial duel and all) is explanatory in their stance on Parity, but Nasch is the outlier since he would’ve used the Numeron Code to destroy Astral World, or maybe he has some other motive if he had won the duel. Nasch saw the destruction of Astral World as a necessary evil for the survival of Barian World, but he also seemed okay with losing. It’s possible that he might’ve found a different way for all worlds to coexist had he won. So does the duel with Nasch afterwards ruin the duel with Don Thousand? Who knows. That depends on what value you see from that duel. 

(And not to get into a rant, but part of me wished the final boss was a Dark-Zexal-esque Morph between Eliphas and Don Thousand, the corrupted combination of two Gods with selfish intents fighting against Nasch, Zexal III, and Kaito. Like mmmm) 

I derailed quite a bit from talking about Jinlon and Mizael and the Ruins, but I find it so fascinating how much these two characters reveal about the world of Zexal.

[atamascolily]

Okay, I have calmed down enough after reading Aftermath: Empire’s End that I can address the bit that really got to me.

TL;DR: the entire “Contigency” business is based on an extended chess metaphor and... I have questions.

Previously, we have learned that a Jakku orphan named Galli Rax stowed away on Palpatine’s Space Yacht so he could get away, only to be caught by Palpatine. Palps told the kid that he had two choices: die, or go back to Jakku and make sure no one stumbled across the Mysterious Thing (”the Observatory”) Palps was constructing out in the desert. Galli chooses the latter, and Palps sends him back to Jakku and Galli does his thing. Ten years later, Palps shows back up with the space yacht to compliment Galli on a job well done and take him away.

O.... kay. I’m not sure how Palps was able to ensure Rax would keep his end of the bargain. Sure, he has a supervisor Yupe Tashu and a bunch of droids, and I suppose they could have killed Galli, but... there didn’t seem to be anything stopping Galli from running away? I doubt even Palps would have bothered to stalk one kid just to prove a point, but it just seems really weird from Palpatine’s perspective to be so hands-off.

Anyway, so the first thing they do in their Big Reunion is Palps teaches him how to play chess. And I don’t just mean Thinly-Disguised Space Chess as a stand-in for the real thing, I mean actual chess.

Here’s the passage that made me start to howl and gibber from a world-building perspective:

“It’s a very old game. Shah-tezh, in this interation, thought over the eons I have seen it spawn many variants. Dejarik. Moebius. Chess. In most of the iterations the core mechanism remains.”

To be clear: this is Palpatine talking. What the hell does he mean by “over the eons I have seen”? That’s not the sort of thing you say if it’s something you know from a book or a story, that’s what you say if you’ve personally experienced it. Is Palpatine really that old?? If so, this is HUGE, absolutely earth-shattering bombshell from a world-building perspective. Is it ever followed up on? Not that I can tell.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

(To be fair, I’m not against this, per se, but I just... feel like if it was important.... it should be relevant.... and not name-dropped once and never mentioned again? Like, it matters? AAHHHHHHHHHHH.)

The other thing that made me scream, is, of course, the fact he comes right out and says it’s Chess In Space, which.... While I have used “holo-chess” as a synonym for “dejarik” in my fics, and Wookiepeedia says “holochess” is an accepted synonym for dejarik in nu!canon, this particular passage reads weirdly to me because it implies that chess as we know it on Earth is a separate but related game to dejarik, not just another name for the same game. And I... have questions about that, just like I would if “poker” suddenly appeared in the GFFA lingo along with “sabacc”.

{Also, I just want to note that the Persian word for chess is shatranj. Per the “History of Chess” article on Wikipedia:

Players started calling "Shāh!" (Persian for "King!") when attacking the opponent's king, and "Shāh Māt!" (Persian for "the king is helpless" – see checkmate) when the king was attacked and could not escape from attack. These exclamations persisted in chess as it traveled to other lands.

This isn’t the first time real-life details have migrated into Star Wars - “Tatooine” is named after a location in Tunisia, and the Lars’ farm is located in the “Great Chott” which actually exists on Earth.... but still. I’m just saying.}

And again, this is probably me being stupid and petty about Details That Don’t Matter, except that the one is actually huge from a plot and thematic perspective, so it’s hard not to get tripped up on it.

Anyway, so Palps instructs Galli in the intricacies of shah-tezh, and it all boils down to one thing: “without the Imperator, the demesne cannot survive”.

And That’s the reason why Palpatine has to personally make sure the world burns after his death, because it means that his Empire has completely failed if he dies and deserves to be punished. O.... kay then.

(Granted, Palpatine is a crazed narcissist, but... there’s like no way this makes logical sense, right? And Rax doesn’t even think “oh, that’s insane, but I have to agree to stay alive”. Even at this juncture, when he barely knows Palpatine at all, he’s completely swallowed the Kool-Aid. Which is odd because he’s very skeptical about other things.)

Anyway, Palps repeats it because it’s his guiding principle: “If an Empire cannot protect its Emperor then that Empire must be deemed a failure. It collapses not only because its central figure is gone, but because it must not be allowed to remain.”

He’s so incensed he nearly strangles Galli, but then he relents, and says Galli is “the Contigency” and if he fails, he’ll be replaced, because literally, “destiny”. Then they go watch opera, because Palps hasn’t found anyone to watch opera with him since that one time with Anakin and... Vader isn’t into that, lol.

(The problem with making opera Galli’s thing is that ALL OF THOSE SCENES ARE FLASHBACKS or referred to in passing in the narrative rather than viewed directly. So we don’t see him poised at the opera, plotting, the way Palps did in ROTS, or contemplating art like Thrawn does. So it’s easy to forget that he has this quirk. Also, it makes him feel like a Thrawn knock-off. But I do like that it’s canon that he’s just the Biggest Drama Queen ever, though.)

I’ve said this before in earlier rants, but to repeat: I do not see Palpatine as having the relative humility needed to even consider his own death seriously. in ROTJ, he acts 100% confident that he’s gonna come out the winner. So to come up with an entire elaborate plot, on the off chance that someone might off him seems just... kinda OOC?

Sure, he’s the type to have wheels within wheels and all kinds of schemes going on simultaneously, but... this one involves placing a lot of trust in Galli Rax going along with the script, and I just... don’t get why he would assume Rax would automatically go along with it, or be able to. There are just so many variables that the novel doesn’t seem to address and it’s just hard for me to imagine Palpatine doing this without making other/additional Contigencies, not just one.

Anyway, so it turns out “the Contingency” is to lure both the Imperial remnant and the New Republic fleets to Jakku and then literally blow the entire planet up to take everyone out at once, while a handful of specially chosen loyalist ride off in Palpatine’s Space Yacht for the Unknown Regions to form a new Empire. Which... okay, sure, why not. In theory, this sounds pretty cool and it involves all of Palpatine’s favor tricks, including a planet-destroying superweapon.

Where it actually breaks down is in the details, of course. And Palpatine is still dead, of course, so it does shit-all for him, except for some vindictive satisfaction while still alive, I guess. 

(And if he is planning on coming back, it seems weird to burn down the house you plan on re-occupying later? I guess? *shrugs*)

Anyway, it turns out that Palpatine has a whole network of Observatories, where he does all kinds of secret, evil things:

Palpatine began establishing the Observatories before the start of the Galactic Empire, infusing each with purpose: Some were meant to house ancient Sith artificats, others designed to host powerful weapons designs (or the weapons themselves), others still meant as prisons harnessing the lifeforces of those captured within for a variety of strange purposes.

(which, given that the Ashmead’s Lock prison on Kashyyyk is powered by its inhabitants’ life force a la The Matrix, strongly suggests that it, too, is an Observatory, although the book does not say that directly and canon will probably never mention the energy-harvesting thing again despite ALL OF THE QUESTIONS THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH TECH RAISES.)

I’m okay with this passage, because it means that the Maw Installation, the Eye of Palpatine, and Wayland are all part of this system. It feels very much in-character. However, only Jakku is part of the Contigency, at least according to Galli, but--tbh, I kinda doubt it, because when have we ever known Palpatine to tell the truth? Or have Only One Plan?

Anyway, for decades, the Observatory computers have been plotting a route through hyperspace into the Unknown Regions. (I thought this was something only Jedi could do, since they were supposedly hard-core Space Navigators? Otherwise, what was even the point? *shrugs* Why do you even need a “Sith Wayfinder” anyway? *cough cough*) Then there’s an obligatory Thrawn reference, since Thrawn is canon, but Rax is pretty dismissive and says that the only reason Palps tolerated Thrawn was for his secret navigational insights into the Unknown Regions.

So if Palps loses his original demesne, he’s just gonna go conquer the Chiss or something? Except he can’t, because he’s dead, so what ever. I don’t even know, okay? Does anyone know what happened to Thrawn or the Chiss post-OT in the Disney ‘verse??

Anyway, Palps is convinced there’s something in the dark side waiting for him out there, which Galli is dismissive of. You’d think a guy who had literally been Force-choked would be more accepting of this instead of assuming it was just wishful thinking, but okay then. This is pretty clearly meant to be an obvious Snoke reference, which gets wonky with the TROS retcon that Snoke was a clone-puppet of Palpatine the entire time!

Anyway, Rax gets Yupe Tashu all geared up with Secret Evil Sith Gear and a Magic Kyber Crystal and tosses him into the planet’s core, and it starts the self-destruct process. Except it doesn’t because Rae Sloane kills Rax at the last moment, puts a stop to it, and steals the yacht full of feral children and flies off into the sunset to carry on Rax’s master plan because the New Republic destroyed the Imperial fleet while she was distracted and she apparently is tired of all this shit? Okay.

Anyway, she makes a deal with Armitage Hux that she’ll keep Brendol from abusing him if he keeps the feral kids from attacking her, and apparently it works out. This is supposed to be the origin of the First Order, and I guess they find Snoke or something, but none of the details are ever explained in any material I can find, so.... *shrugs*

I just really don’t understand how the First Order can be functional under the conditions herein described and how it logically evolves from This One Ship to a massive, disciplined force capable of wiping out the New Republic.

So I finished the book and... was kind of mad, because it just felt like a complete waste of my time. Overally, this whole thing just seems like a lot of build-up that doesn’t go anywhere, and provides weird backstory that only raises more unaddressed questions for things that really didn’t need it. 

also, it’s darkly amusing to me that this book comes out saying, “yup, the ST is a literal game-board reset of the OT, and Palps fully intended for it to be that way, even though we at Disney had no plans to bring him back as a villain at first” and I just... well, props for honesty, I guess?

anyway, the whole thing is a mess from a world-building perspective, and even though Star Wars is Fake and In Space, I just get grumpy when things don’t line up, especially since that was supposed to be one of the major selling points of this new canon in the first place.

[kinsbin]

Brother and Sister [Xena/Obi-Wan Kenobi {Platonic}]

Title: Brother and Sister Pairing: Xena/Obi-Wan Kenobi {Platonic/Familial Selfship} Word Count: 2710 Rating: T [Drinking, Mentions of Vomit]

Summary: On an undercover mission to scout out a wanted criminal, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Xena find themselves in a cantina with a little too much alcohol in their system. Well, too much in Xena’s system at least. The confessions it causes Xena to spill to her friend comes as a shock to them both as she tells him feelings she hadn’t told anyone else before. Yet, it brings them closer all the same.

A/N:A piece I did for my platonic ship with Obi-Wan because HE’S MY BROTHER and thought we had a rocky relationship at the start, I grow to love and cherish him as my family ;w;

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Xena threw her head back, swallowing her fifth shot of hard liquor in one fell swoop and slamming the glass down onto the table with a satisfied sigh. Obi-Wan felt his eyes narrow as he watched the girl before him sink comfortably down to lay her head on one of her arms against the table, humming as her eyes lazily scanned over the crowd with delightfully obvious curiosity. .

Obi-Wan kicked her under the table, making Xena yelp and slam her head a bit too hard into her glass. 

“Obiiiiiii-” Her whine was childish as she pouted, her gaze genuinley misty with near tears as she threw herself forward to tug at his arm, “Why’d ya do thaaaaaaaaath-?”

“Shush,” Obi-Wan ordered carefully, “We’re undercover, remember? You shouldn’t use my name in a place like this.”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Xena nodded as she waved down a passing waiter, tapping the edge of her shot glass with two fingers to signal her need for a refill. She smiled as the Mandalorian woman in the cantina’s uniform gave her a nod and scooped up her glass without another word. She waved as the server disappeared behind the bar and giggled when she saw the look of near fatherly disapproval in his eyes as he watched her form. There was another tap to Xena’s leg, softer this time and with more of a worried reach through the force than pleasant. 

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough? I doubt you could even see straight enough to identify our target.”

“Puh-LEASE-” Xena giggled out as she accepted her shots from the same Mandalorian server as they passed by, throwing it back as quickly as she had the fifth one, “You said we’re undercover right? You’re not a patron in a cantina unless ONE OF YOU is drunk off their asses. ‘Sides, it’s been a while since I’ve had any good liquor! Can ya just let me have this?”

Obi-Wan sighed, knowing that no matter his orders she was too far gone for him to truly be able to stop her. Her mind was swimming in a groggy field of wet soup, endless and vast in its reach as he prodded gently at her with the force to assure her state of mind. Xena tilted her head from side to side as she stared at the table for a while longer with a spacey curiosity that seemed to overrun her mind. 

The two wore such casual clothes in the night that one would never assume their position as Jedi and Force Sensitive sidekick, Xena mused with a giggle to herself. Indeed seeing Obi-Wan out of his Jedi robes, a pair of simple trousers on and a top that showed off his arms a little too much (Anakin’s defense being that it was the only thing they had available, though she was sure he just wanted to embarrass his master) was a sight that no one would believe should she try and describe it to them.She couldn’t wait to message his lover, though, and describe the sight to her. Lord knows it would make the woman flustered and that, Xena hid her mischievous smirk, was worth this entire mission. A bubble of giggles rose in her throat and she exhaled them with a smile beneath her arm.

“What’s so funny?” Obi-Wan took a sip of his own water as he asked the question.

“You look stupid,” Xena declared, “Your face and those clothes... all so stupid!”

“Are you always this brutally honest when you’re inhebriated?”

“Maybe? Can’t remember! Haven’t been proper drunk since I left Tatooine YEARSSSS ago.”

The mention of her old planet made Xena pause as she leaned forward, touching the rim of her sticky shot glass with moderate fascination as she let the sound of the music and laughter surrounding them overrun her senses for a few, sweet moment of blissful static in the back of her mind. 

“He never liked drinking... We rarely went to cantinas unless it was for trying to find information on the Jedi... even then, it was always to eat more than to get a drink.”

Obi-Wan didn’t say anything. Xena could tell from the tenseness in his shoulders that he knew clearly who she was talking about. Her smile turned something between bitter and sad as she sat up a bit, wobbling through her lack of central balance and leaning her face on the palm of one hand, staring at the Jedi with vague interest as her mouth curled and offered itself to continue with an almost biting done behind her slurred speech:

“You know, he was a really good guy, Obi.”

“He was a sith lord.”

“HE WAS THE MAN I LOVED!”

She yelled this last part, hands slamming down on the table as she flew upwards into a standing position. Xena’s eyes were fire, red and hot and angry so much so that her tattoos seemed to glow along with her frustration. At this point the cantina fell silent as patrons turned to face them both, eyes suddenly all too interested in the spat of friends that seemed to be occurring between them. Obi-Wan cleared his throat and stood up, slamming down his own glass alongside enough currency to cover the tab both of them had accumulated before making his way to Xena with a sigh.

“I think you’ve had quite enough for one night. We’re going back to the hotel.”

“No,” Xena bemoaned, “I want another shot.”

“No,” Obi’s firm voice left no room for fighting him, “You’re going back.”

---

Xena couldn’t walk straight as they left. Obi-Wan settled for wrapping one of her arms over his shoulder and carrying her sideways, like a drunken puppet, out of the cantina and towards the overlooking inn a close distance from the small hole in the wall they had found. All the while Xena didn’t look at him. Her gaze cast itself to the side as she wobbled, mumbling words to herself in languages she was clearly mixing up and slurring with the alcohol in her system. 

Eventually she fell, laying down on the cool concrete and refusing to stand, causing Obi-Wan to groan and simply scoop her up in his arms to carry her the rest of the way.

Xena let him, though her constant wiggling and shifting in his grip was enough of a signal that she wasn’t thrilled. 

No words were spoken until they arrived to their shared room, the two beds on either side sparse in their decoration but comfortable enough. Obi dropped her unceremoniously onto her own bed and ran a hand through his hair, sighing at the chances they had wasted all for one drunk assistant. 

“Next time,” Obi-Wan groaned, “You get one drink and water the rest of the night.”

Xena giggled and rolled in her bed, sitting up and hugging a pillow, tilting her head at the Jedi with a deep sigh.

“You know,” She hummed, “I used to really. REALLY fucking hate you.”

Obi-Wan froze and turned to her, his brows furrowed. He would be lying if he said those words didn’t hurt him just a little bit. Xena looked away before she continued through the pillow pressing ot her mouth.

“When you first found me on Maul’s ship... I lied to you, you know? I saw you kill him... I saw his body fall and I was so. So angry at you that I went to that ship and waited for you because I wanted to kill you myself... But when you came and I felt your... Your force and aura and... I thought ‘whats stopping him from killin you if he finds out what Maul was to you’? So I lied and told you ‘n the council that.... that he kidnapped me. But you know- you know i know you do- that that wasn’t true. He was-”

“Your lover,” Obi finished for her as he saw the tears stain the corners of her eyes, “I know.”

She laughed as her sadness rolled off of her in waves. A hot and warm thing that boiled the air of the force around her as she clung to the pillow tightly and shut her eyes to try and stop any more wetness from accumulating in her ducts. Instead the tears fell anyways, hot and thick down her cheeks as she laughed a little more.

“I hated you for months after that. I hated seeing you... Hated being near you... But... But I... You offered to keep me with you and Annie... Let me stay by you and train even th-though I wasn’t even fully anything but a little force sensitive and... you were so fucking kind to me it made me want to throw up -k inda still does but i also had six shots of liquor...”

Xena winced, suddenly queezy, but she finally opened her eyes, still tear filled and wet but... she was smiling now, wincing at Obi as she tilted her head.

“Now I... don’t hate you, just so you know. I don’t I... You’re the closest thing to family I ever had, really.”

“Family?” The word left Obi-Wan’s lips before he could stop himself, confusion and awe clear in his face.

Xena nodded vigorously as she smiled wider.

“Yeah! Like an annoying older brother who never lets me have any fun.”

“You don’t get ot have ‘fun’ because I let you have fun tonight and the result was six shots and a scene in the cantina we’re supposed to be laying low in.”

“Yeah exactly just like that!”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and Xena giggled, falling backwards onto her bed and taking a long, deep sigh as she pulled her pillow closer to her and shut her eyes.

“I don’t hate you anymore, Kenobi... I just.... Wish that things had been different and I could still know you and have him... I know they can’t be but... As much as I love you....I miss him.”

Obi-Wan had nothing to say to her words. He merely approached her bed and sat at the side of it, running a hand through his friend’s hair as he watched her slowly, surely, pass out into a deep and immovable sleep. 

Obi-Wan didn’t move after that. He simply sat there and watched her rest, the slow and steady breathing of her dream-state the only sign of contentedness he had ever seen on the woman’s face in his life. Even then, there was something troubled about it. something in her brow and within her force that laced itself with a pained sort of pity that only substance abuse could possibly bring up within her as she clenched and unclenched her jaw rhythmically through her dream. 

She hated him, but now she didn’t. The words repeated themselves in his head as he thought of his own feelings towards the other. Similarly familial, he thought of having a sister. Of growing up at her side, protective and careful should any man or woman or creature alike try to hurt her. It was a strange sense of protectiveness that overwhelmed him. A gentle worry for the girl before him as he exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Perhaps if they were truly brother and sister, he could have led her away from the path Maul had set for her.

With her stubbornness, his mind warned snarkily back, he honestly doubted he would have made any successful progress.

Standing, Obi-Wan left Xena to her rest and exited out of the hotel room they shared. She wasn’t going to be feeling well in the morning, that was for certain, and he had to make sure that she at least could function during a call from the other Jedi Maters of their progress. 

---

Xena awoke the next morning with a pain in both her head and her stomach.

She groaned and rolled slightly in her bed, wincing as the light from the window above her assaulted all of the senses that were just too sore for her to function. Reaching aimlessly for a pillow, she flung it over her head and groaned in exhaustion as the hangover began to pump itself excessively in the back of her mind. What the hell happened the other night?

She spent the next few minutes simply thinking, as hard as the task was, about the night and the events of the bar. With Obi-Wan Kenobi and-

Her eyes widened and her face paled. Oh. So that’s what she had said to him, huh?

As if on cue the door to their room opened and Xena felt guilt sink itself fiercely in the pit of her stomach as she tried to bite back tears of shame. Her aura could not be hid as Obi-Wan stared down at the amalgamation of her in the bed, his eyebrow raising as she tried to curl herself into an even smaller ball against his Jedi presence.

“Good morning,” Obi-Wan greeted with a small smirk to his lips, “Still in the mood for another shot?”

“I’ll shoot you,” Xena groaned from her pillow despite herself, “Next time cut me off at two shots, please, I’m begging you.”

“I tried that,” Obi-Wan chuffed, “You gave me a less than pleasant gesture with your finger before taking your third.”

“Yeah, that sounds like two-drink Xena.”

There was a long swatch of silence as Obi-Wan walked over and placed a glass of water at the side of her head atop the table, the cool beverage making itself known with the metallic ‘clink’ of the cup as it hit the wood. Alongside it, a couple of small white pills were placed just in arms reach. Xena lifted up one edge of her pillow to squint at the newly arrived items in surprise.

“Some pain killers and water,” The Jedi above her stated, “I figured you’d need them after all of that.”

“Oh... thanks.” Xena murmured as she sat up just enough to take the beverage, popping the pills and chugging the water gratefully as her dry throat heaved in refusal of anymore liquid. God, she was probably going to vomit later, she winced at the thought. 

Obi-Wan smiled before going about his business in their room, and silence engulfed them once again.

Xena swallowed hard as she finally spoke:

“Master Kenobi about... What I was saying the other night... I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Obi-Wan paused and turned to look at her with another raised eyebrow.

Xena didn’t look him in the eyes, hugging her cup close to her as she bit her lip and nodded.

“I talked about... I know he killed your master. I know what he did is wrong... I shouldn’t have shared what I did with you, and I especially shouldn’t have gone out of my place to talk about my personal feelings for you and-”

“That’s quite enough of that.”

Xena startled as Obi-Wan plucked the empty cup from her hands and set it on the nightstand with a sigh. 

“I won’t pretend what you told me didn’t hurt. It did-” Xena winced at the words - “But... You also told me how you see me as a brother. As someone, now, you care for. Was that part true?”

Xena blushed and huffed, nodding her head ‘yes’ as she curled in more on herself. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile.

“And that feeling is mutual. I can’t stop the decisions you’ve made in the past, Xena, but I feel your future brimming with a brighter hope than ever before. Should I have the honor of being in your life to help guide you, well, I won’t say ‘no’.”

Xena stared, slack jawed in shock at the man before her as he ruffled her hair (causing another long pained groan to escape her lips) and returned about his business. She watched his back with curiosity, tilting her head and wincing as more light poured over his form and hurt her eyes and head all at the same time. Then, looking down at her hands and seeing the simple shape of them against the sheets... Xena smiled slightly.

Jedi couldn’t make decisions with their feelings... but it certainly didn’t stop them from having them, now did it?

“Obi-Wan?”

“Yes?”

“... Thank-You.”

And he smiled despite himself.

“Of coures.”

[kagehinataboke]

idk if you're still taking prompts... (and is totally okay if you aren't!!! you must have a lot already...) but IF you have the time AND I F you want to do it, can i please (with a cherry on top) request tdbk 1+17?? like maybe something in wwii?? like maybe they're both jews ot something along the ´the boy in the striped pajamas´ storyline, with todo as bruno (or maybe baku as bruno...) or maybe they're japanese and in japan... (1/2)

… i mean, japan was a big part of the wwii too. anyway, whatever is fine! i’m just really invested in the idea huh. but if you can, obviously!!!! no pressure!!! your writing is perfect!!!! (2/2)

first of all: thank you ❤️ second of all: HELL YES. YES. anon, you don’t know this, but i’m obsessed with history and have been wanting to do a WWII au FOREVER ;-;

also i listener to this song while writing and it increases the sadness level by about 100000% if anyone is interested

tdbk, [1] Historical AU and [17] War AU

***

“Are you still having the nightmares?”

“I’ve been doing the breathing exercises before bed.” Bakugou avoids the question, as he always does when Aizawa asks. “I think things are a bit better.”

That’s a lie. He still has the nightmares, and things are the opposite of better. But how is Bakugou supposed to tell his doctor that, after a year away from the war, he still has the same nightmare day after day? That it never gets any better no matter what he does? He can’t, and he doesn’t.

Every night, he goes to sleep terrified of the images that live deep in his mind. The memories that only come out in dreams. The nameless boy he doesn’t know, yet somehow knows all too well. The screams of that boy, which echo in Bakugou’s head for hours after he wakes up. The heat of blood. The overwhelming smell of saltwater. The smoke-filled sky over the murky Pacific. Fragments of things he used to know.

The only thing he can think of that will get rid of this burden is finding the person stuck in his head. If only things were that simple. Bakugou has been checking the records of every soldier in navy battle, but he can’t connect a name to the face that flickers behind his closed eyelids. Why can’t he remember?

After waking up in the hospital thirteen months ago, he could only recall three things: his name, his age, and that he was a soldier for the Japanese navy. Nothing else. Now, he’s regained most of his childhood memories, but his time spent fighting in the war remains hazy. He’s blocked it out due to severe trauma, the doctors say, but Bakugou wants nothing more than to remember.

“Make sure you come back in a month,” Aizawa tells him, as always, when he dismisses him. “And don’t go poking around the recruitment office anymore. They’ll think you’re well enough to be re-drafted.”

Bakugou just nods, pulls his hat low over his eyes, and steps out into the rainy afternoon smog. He’s got dark circles from lack of sleep, and he seriously doubts the army would want him back given his severe memory issues. It’s not like he chose to have his ship blown up or to get amnesia. Whatever. He doesn’t need to go back to the recruitment office, anyway: they won’t tell him anything. If he’s going to find this mystery boy, he’s going to have to do it alone.

He’s starting to recover bits and pieces, at least. The dreams, although horrifying, are becoming clearer. He can remember sights, sounds, sensations. The smell of the ocean. The feeling of a hand on his wrist, and the sun on his face. The smile of the boy with no name—the boy Bakugou’s heart aches for. He knows him, if only he could remember how.

That’s why he can’t tell Aizawa about the nightmares. He’ll try to get rid of them, and then Bakugou will have nothing left to remember. The more he dreams, the closer he gets. That boy holds the key to what Bakugou knew in the past. He’s going to remember everything, even if it fucking kills him.

His friends, however, think he’s lost it.

“You come back alive with nothing more than some scrapes and amnesia, yet your head is still living in the war? I don’t get you,” intones Kirishima, one of Bakugou’s old high-school classmates. He stayed back in Japan to design planes—helping the war effort in a different, arguably smarter way. It certainly didn’t make him any less annoying, though.

“You don’t get it,” Bakugou replies irritably, digging through the papers piled in front of them. “I’m not living in the war. You’d be frustrated, too, if you had things you knew you remembered but could never fucking remember them.” He nudges Kirishima roughly. “Keep looking. I know I’ll find him eventually.”

“How can you expect to dig through thousands of records with nothing more than a face to go off?” Kirishima whines, opening a new box to dump out piles of photos. “I obviously won’t know if it’s him, so how can I even be of help?”

“Use this.” Bakugou pulls a sketch from his jacket pocket and presses it to the table. It‘s the only thing that survived his trip to the ocean. He can’t remember drawing it, but it’s definitely his handiwork: A profile of the mystery boy, leaning against a ship’s railing. There’s half a smile on his face, and his eyes are peaceful. Serene. So out of place in a war zone.

“When did you draw this?” Kirishima squints at the paper. “Wow… it’s really good. You got better while you were stuck on that ship, huh?”

“Shut up and look, Shitty Hair.”

Bakugou spreads the pictures apart, but no face jumps out at him. Why is it so hard to remember someone he clearly knew so well? He’s so frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out. Where is this damn guy, and why does Bakugou need to get back to him so badly?

***

“Shouto, it’s past noon. You need to get up.”

Todoroki doesn’t stir. He keeps looking out at the sea, ignoring Fuyumi’s impatient presence at his back. The scent of saltwater is always strongest in the early morning. The harbor is already full of fishermen’s ships, heading out for a day of hard work.

Unfortunately, like the ocean, Fuyumi is immovable. “You need to get out of the house today. It’s been three weeks since you came back, and you’re starting to reek of despair.”

“Despair doesn’t have a smell,” Todoroki sighs, finally rolling over to look at her.

She folds her arms over her chest. “False: it’s what little brothers smell like after locking themselves in their room for a month. Get up. Bathe. Go to the market for me.”

Todoroki knows she won’t give up, so he pushes himself up, accepting the crutches she passes to him. She already has a tub ready, and as much as he hates to admit it, the hot water feels soothing on his aching limbs. They’re stiff after being in the same position for so long. Most of them, anyway. Todoroki has to marvel at the way the feeling in his left leg just ends at the knee. He’ll have to get used to it eventually, he supposes.

When he’s changed, Fuyumi gives him some money and kicks him out into the dismal afternoon drizzle. After the end of the war, Japan is healing slowly from its wounded pride and broken cities. Todoroki was lucky to return to his family home in Matsue, untouched by the carnage. If only his body and mind shared the same fortune.

The market is scarce with rationing still in place, but Todoroki manages to find most of Fuyumi’s list before he runs into a long line at the fish market. He settles in for the wait and picks up snippets of a conversation ahead.

“He’s raiding records and stirring up trouble with the army left and right, so much so that he’s infamous, even way out here.”

“What? All that to find one person? Kyoto men are their own brand of crazy.”

Todoroki reaches the front of the line, collects a parcel of fish, and heads home. His mind replays the strangers’ words. Kyoto is one of the only big cities unscathed after the war. Once upon a time, Bakugou had said he was from there.

Bakugou… Todoroki has been trying not to think of him. His name only brings pain. When they were separated at sea and Bakugou’s ship went down, Todoroki had minutes to panic before his own ship suffered the same fate. A slaughter, they called it. So many men lost to the sea that it was impossible to keep track of them all. Many are still lost, and even the ones that returned haven’t truly been found. They all left parts of themselves out in those bloody waters, Todoroki included.

He searched the records of their platoon and could find nothing of Bakugou Katsuki. It was almost as if he never existed. Todoroki would believe it, if not for the memories. They come on nights when the sea is calm and the sky is clear. Only good memories, which are somehow all the more painful.

Bakugou used to draw him. He was trying to be an artist before the draft, he said. He would only let Todoroki see some of his work, and never what he drew of him. He did draw him, even though he never admitted it. In every spare moment, Bakugou’s head was buried in a notebook, gaze trailing Todoroki across the deck, hand moving as if it had its own eyes.

“Shouto?” Fuyumi opens the door, which Todoroki has been standing in front of for a while. “What are you doing?”

Todoroki looks up at her, feeling clear-headed for the first time since returning home. “I want to visit Kyoto.”

***

Bakugou fiddles with a charcoal pencil. He still has to stop himself from using it. His fingers itch to sketch out the shape of familiar cheekbones. Of eyes that used to watch him. That still watch him in his nightmares. He’s afraid of what his hands will unleash if he gives them access to paper.

“Still can’t draw?” Kirishima sits beside him, an engineering journal in hand.

“No.” Bakugou sets down his pencil with a sigh. “Everything just feels so damn bland. There’s nothing beautiful here.” He’s not here, his mind corrects. He was here and now he’s not. He’s missing from me.

“You’re in a spiral,” Kirishima says. He doesn’t mean it maliciously, but it still pisses Bakugou off, even before he adds, “If you waste your life chasing after ghosts, you’ll always be living amid war.”

“What the fuck do you know?” Bakugou snaps, hugging his knees to his chest. He considers jumping off the train railing they’re perching against, but he isn’t suicidal. Yet.

“You’re stuck. That’s all I’m trying to say. This mystery person you can’t forget is like a rope. He’s keeping you tethered in a past you can’t even remember.”

“But he’s the key to remembering!” Bakugou snaps. “I know he is! If I can find him, I… I know everything will come back to me.” Bakugou’s hands clench into fists. “I’m not living in the past. I’m chasing it, but it’s moving too damn fast for me to keep up.”

Kirishima doesn’t say anything to that. How can he? Bakugou is sure he’s being clear about how desperate he is. One more dream and he’ll remember his name. Just one second longer and it will come to him. He can’t stop searching, or he’ll lose this part of himself. The part his heart won’t let go even when his mind has forgotten.

“I’m going back home.” Bakugou gets up, pausing before sticking the pencil in his coat pocket. “I’ll see you later.”

He doesn’t wait for a response. Instead, he pulls a sketch from his back pocket. Its edges are worn from constant unfolding, but the subject is as clear as when his unclouded eyes gazed upon it. There are thousands of other images like it living in Bakugou’s head, and he wonders now if it might be better to draw them. To set them free will be to experience them in the light of day. The light may be exactly what he needs most.

His hands agree all too quickly. Bakugou can’t rip new sheets of paper off fast enough before they’re filled with him. His eyes, his smile, his hands, his face, his everything. The pages spill across the floor, just like water spilled over the decks of that sinking ship so long ago. How his memories flowed out of his head and into the sea.

The sea… He lived by the sea, didn’t he?

Bakugou can recall his voice in whispers softer than crashing waves. My home is called Matsue. There’s nothing very exciting about it, but… the ocean is so close. When I wake up, I can hear it and smell it. The scent of saltwater is always strongest in the early morning.

Bakugou pauses mid-sketch. A stoic face looking out to sea watches him.

Matsue… isn’t very far away. If he’s alive, he’ll be there. He must be there. And even if he isn’t there, Matsue still might hold the key to who he is. And, just maybe, who Bakugou is.

***

“Are you sure you can handle taking the train by yourself?”

“I’m not a child, Fuyumi. I’ll be fine.” Todoroki lets her adjust the bag across his shoulders before nudging her away. “I’ll be back soon, and I’ll call when I arrive.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you later.” She hugs him goodbye, and Todoroki finally boards the train to Kyoto.

The ride only takes two days, and in that time, Todoroki has things to keep him occupied. He’s supposed to be studying his medical books to get back into school, but instead, he gets distracted by the paper tucked in his coat pocket. It’s a sketch of the ocean that Bakugou gave him for birthday. Fuyumi must’ve put it there. When he first arrived back home, he wouldn’t let go of it for a week.

Todoroki wonders what Kyoto is like. Bakugou spoke little about his home and himself. He always wanted to hear about Todoroki, instead. Perhaps Kyoto will reveal a new part of Bakugou. Or, with any luck, all of him.

The city is, however, not as Todoroki expected. It’s dark and rainy, but in a different way than Matsue. Kyoto rain is overwhelming and hard and doesn’t smell of the sea. Rather than wet sand and gravel underfoot, the city streets are muddy and antagonistic.

Todoroki wanders aimlessly through the center of the town, which is ablaze with activity. There are people as far as the eye can see, but none of them are the one Todoroki searches for. He should’ve come here with more than memories and a name, but it’s too late to go home now. If there’s one lesson the war taught him, it’s to always keep looking ahead. Literally, in this case.

“Watch where you’re going!” A stranger pulls Todoroki out of the way of an approaching car, which splashes then both with mud.

“Thank you,” Todoroki mutters after collecting himself. “I… I got lost in thought.”

“You seem lost in general.” The stranger pauses, doing a double-take for reasons Todoroki doesn’t understand. “Whoa, wait a second— Hey, weird random question, but you weren’t… in the navy, were you?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Oh. Oh man. I can’t explain, but you really need to come with me.” The stranger takes him by the arm. “I’ll tell you on the way. Actually, before that—do you know someone by the name of Bakugou?”

“What?” Todoroki’s heart skips a beat. He pulls the stranger to a stop. “Bakugou? Bakugou Katsuki? He’s still alive? Do you know him? Is he here? Can I see him?”

“Slow down. That’s too many questions. He’s here and alive, I’m his best friend, Kirishima, and I’ll take you to his place right now.”

“He’s… he’s really alive?” Todoroki presses a hand to his chest, feeling his pulse hammer against his fingertips. “You’re not kidding?”

“I’m serious. And from the looks of it, you’ve been searching for him as hard as he’s been searching for you.”

“He’s been searching for me?” Todoroki follows Kirishima down the street, feeling his heart slam into his chest. It’s been so long since he let himself hope… To think that Bakugou has been alive, and looking for him, this whole time is unreal.

“He’s been obsessed with finding you since he got back.” Kirishima glances at Todoroki nervously. “You probably don’t know this, but… he has severe amnesia. He regained most of his memories, but he says the time he spent in the war is hazy. Your face was the one thing he couldn’t forget.”

Todoroki wipes away a few sudden tears before Kirishima sees them. “Thank you. Thank you for telling me.”

“I just can’t believe I ran into you. He’ll lose his mind.” Kirishima stops outside a small housing unit and knocks on the door. His excitement noticeably dissipates the longer the knock goes unanswered. “Er… let me get the spare key.”

Todoroki takes a moment to cool down. He shouldn’t get his hopes up, even now. He needs to be prepared for the worst. But when the front door opens, his heart blossoms with nothing but hope. Drawings flood the room, lying across the floor in crests as big as ocean waves.

Him. It’s all him. Todoroki stares at himself on every page, staring out to sea, tying ropes, playing cards, smiling.

“He’s not here,” Kirishima says, bending down to pick up one of the drawings. “I don’t know what happened, but… I guess this probably confirms everything I said.”

“Where did he go?” Todoroki has to stop himself from grabbing Kirishima’s shoulders. Irrational panic is clawing its way to the surface. Todoroki has to reassure himself that he isn’t losing Bakugou again when he hasn’t even gotten him back yet. “Do you know why he isn’t here?”

“I’m not sure, but—“

“Oh, you’re here, Kirishima?” Someone new appears in the open doorway, shaking rain from his blond hair. “Who’s this?”

“Kaminari!” Kirishima practically jumps on the startled newcomer. “Do you know where Bakugou went?”

“Huh? Yeah. He went to Matsue to chase after that guy that he…” Kaminari pauses to look at Todoroki, then at Kirishima, then back at Todoroki. “Oh. Well. Bakugou is in Matsue, but I guess… the person he’s looking for isn’t.”

***

Matsue is completely different than Kyoto. Rather than being simply untouched by the war, it’s as if it never existed here. The people seem almost carefree; happy, even. Bakugou wanders the streets in wonder at the change. The war has touched here—it’s easy to tell—but things are already on the mend.

Bakugou finds himself in a crowded market, where rationed goods are being bartered for and carried away. His eyes comb through the rain, searching for a familiar face. He doesn’t find it, but he does spot someone who sparks the faintest recognition. He’s seen a picture of her before.

“Excuse me.” He startles her by tapping her on the shoulder, so much so that she almost smacks him. “Sorry. You just look familiar.”

The girl is about to brush him off when she does a double-take. “You’re—“ She cuts herself off; shakes her head, as if in understanding. “You missed him,” she sighs slowly. “He left for Kyoto two days ago.”

Bakugou’s hands clench into fists. She knows. “He’s looking for me?”

“He thought you were dead.” She readjusts the basket on her arm. “He only just arrived home a few weeks ago. Nothing would console him when he couldn’t find any trace of you. He‘s... well, he wasn’t well enough to searxh for you.”

“He thinks I’m dead?” Bakugou swallows thickly. He could ask her for his name, or ask when he’ll be back, but his tongue can’t form the words. “I have to go,” he mutters instead, backing away. She doesn’t stop him, so he turns to run.

He sprints all the way to the train station, the street passing by in a blur of moving feet and mud. He’s so distracted that he runs head-first into someone on the platform. They collide, Bakugou grabbing an elbow at the last second to keep them both from falling. “Sorry. I’m in—“

The world fractures, and Bakugou is suddenly back in the war. Not the violent parts, but the calm ones. The days where he would sit and sketch the same person over and over, but would never let him see no matter how much he begged. The afternoons where they played cards and swapped stories from home. The nights where they snuck into empty places and got lost in each other.

Bakugou‘s fingers have suddenly settled against his cheeks, holding his face up into the dreary evening light. His skin is soft and his eyes are lost in memories, just as Bakugou’s must be.

His name… His name is…

Bakugou feels himself smile for the first time in months. “Todoroki.”

He doesn’t recognize his own voice. It’s never been so soft. So close to breaking. But then again, he’s never experienced this type of relief before. The final pieces of his memory settle back into place, and his heart becomes whole again. The war that’s been waging inside of him ever since he woke up has finally been won.

Todoroki hugs him, his arms solid and achingly real. He pulls back to look at him, tears trickling from the eyes that used to haunt Bakugou’s dreams. “I missed you,” he says, so softly it’s almost a whisper.

Bakugou kisses him to steal the sadness from his voice. Then he kisses him again. And again, until he thinks he might know he is. Who they both are.

The war is over. This time, for good.

[loststormtrooper]

Ive been slowly reading the Splinter Cell books and im almost finished the third one and I have complaints

Spoiler warning I guess for books that are over 10 years old if anyone cares about them.

So the first book was great. They got one of the bond writers to do it and it was so good. Splinter Cells identities have been leaked and Sam Fishers life is at stake throughout the whole thing because for the first time ever, the enemy know who he is. His chapters are in first person which makes everything feel so much more personal. All the other chapters following other characters are in third which gives this nice cutscene kind of feeling that games have when they show something your character wouldnt know. Its a book series based on a game, it just felt right. Sam's daughter gets kidnapped because The Shop (big bad weappns company) wants to stop Third Echelon from getting in the way of their sales and Sam is the one who is trying to stop them and stop them from doing deals with The Shadows which are trying to get the US out of the middle east so their country can take over another. Fisher ends up disrupting these deals and saves his daughter. But like, how it goes is so well. Sams daughter gets invited overseas with her friend and they both ger drugged and kidnapped by someone they thought was their friend! The stakes are high af because they killed off the friend and are going to kill Sams daughter and him if he cant stop all this stuff from happening. And theres the whole war nuclear weapon deals going on that he also has to stop. So good.

Anna Grimsdotir isnt present in this book because they need wiggle room for the next book and shes replaced with Carly who is also an analyst. Theres this nice tight nit friendship between Sams team at Third Echelon with Lambert, Carly, Sam, and and Mike that sets things up for the next book. Also Sams Grav Maga teacher, they flirt a bit, nice side story which leads into the next book. Pretty much everything leads into the next book because even though Sam defeated The Shadows, The Shop is still a major weapons dealer and have the identities of other Splinter Cells and needs to be stopped.

So next book, Operation Barracuda. Sam and his team need to find out who leaked the Splinter Cells information and stop The Shop. Uh oh! It was Mike and he had to kill Carly IN THE THIRD ECHELON OFFICE because she was about to figure out it was him and he escapes and the Triad offer to get him out of the country, he just has to get to the right place and theyll fly him out. Good setup for these cat and mouse chapters where and FBI agent is trying to keep up with Mike. Also Mike was actually planted in Third Echelon years ago and he and his brother have deals with the Triad to sell stuff which The Shop does t like because theure supposed to sell things to them and then they sell to the Triad.

All of these bad guys have one goal though. Theyre dealing with a rogue chinese general that wants to invade Hong Kong. So theres all this infighting and build up to when people, even the bad guys, start to figure more stuff about the other groups. The Triad, being in Hong Kong, dont want to be invaded, but the deals theyve done with bad guy general have provided him with a nuckear submarine that he threatens to detonate on the US coast unless they withdraw from Taiwan.

During all of this that krav maga teacher and Sam have had a few dates and are at Sams place. But when they are walking down the street she is gunned down and Sam is forced to leave her dead body on the street with people around because he cant risk being having anyone looking into who he is, even local police and government because he is in a secret agency. Amazing side story. It's a lot like the side stuff with his daughter in the first book, it gives him more motive outside of it just being a job, these people have killed 2 of his friends, one of which he was really into.

Back to bad guy stuff. FBI guy gets killed by Mikes brother after he goes into a shady place to arrest him. The triad are already there and hes just dead now. But he did arrest Mike so they got info from him which leads same to the Triad. In a pretty cool turn of events the general invades but theres no one to stop him! Oh wait! The Triad takes arms and fights off his army and its rad. Sam had gone into that shady building (just remembered its a night club) and gave them information about the generals attack and then left. It was a different chapter because he wasnt being stealthy, he just walked in and demanded to speak to people and it worked. When all this general vs Triad stuff is happening, Sam is dealing with The Shop. The general is defeated, the leak for the Splinter Cell information is in custody, and The Shop is finally shut down!

Next book... set before the first and has a new writer. All of it is in third person and it doesnt feel like the first for obvious reasons. Theres a handful of spelling errors spread throughout which really take you out of it because now youre thinking about this spelling error.

Starts with Sam having to sneak onto a ship thats going to crash onto the US coast and its packed with radioactive material or bombs? It wasnt clear to me. But he stops it and gets out. Its a pretty one track story whereas the other two books had a handful of stuff going on and it all worked neatly. Third Echelon need to know where the nuclear stuff came from to know who did it. He sneaks back on the ship which is under quarantine and takes a sample or something? There was something about having to get engine manufactuing codes to find out where the ship had done repairs and see where it came from but that branching plot just ends later in the book when Lambert says that his analysts found out where it was from. Sam need to find out where nuclear stuff came from. For reasons i cant remember because nothing in this book is worth remembering half the time, Sam has to go to Chernobyl to collect radiated material to see if they match. Thats not the unmemorable part, how they decided to go there to find it specifically is. Anyway, its a match and they figure out who did it and why by knowing who made the ship and how they got the nuclear material. The whole Chernobyl bit could have been better. It didnt feel like anything was at stake. And there was this awkward side story with a woman who helped him get into the dangerous areas unnoticed where theyd flirt and nothing would come of it and then theres nothing else about her ever again.

Then theres all this stuff of Sam infiltrating other places which leads him to another place which leads him to another place. Its very linear and theres a few chapters where he sneaks into a private island thats impossible to sneak onto but he does and it doesnt feel like anything is at stake. The whole book is about having to find out who did this one almost bombing and poisoned a whole towns water supply with radiated material, making it a wasteland, before the US declares war on the wrong nation for ot. But every time they get more information, they suddenly have more time and need to hurry, but then they do that and get more time but need to hurry! At one point they mention the president will declare war in 24 hours and im pretty sure its been like 4 days since then and nothing.

Also! Theres this terrible character cliche guy i hate. There's like 5 chapters spread out through the book where its this weird guy who is clearly the villain ( not bad guy or terrorist, hes just a bad villain) that talks all fancy and as if hes got this grand plan happening and keeps talking about chess and imagining chess moves after he gets new information. Its annoying and i hate him. Get a new character. It doesnt even have to be him, use one of the heads of the bad guy groups that are already established, god. I've got 6 chapters to go and Sam doesnt even know about that chess bad guy yet.

Tbh im considering skipping the next book because its the same writer and the Conviction books and Blacklist book are written by other people. It hasnt been release who i dont think though. Its all a pseudonym.

So i just finished Splinter Cell Checkmate. Its 2 days after i wrote that whole thing and it gets way better in the last 5 chapters. It was much more fast paced and actiony. The rest of the book was slow and not that interesting. There was a bit that brought back a character from earlier who was shot in the head but the bullet hit ar a weird angle and he was left to die. Sam found him and theres this nice calm part of the chapter of Sam trying to get him out without making his wound worse but he wasnt fast enough and he dies. Then Sam finally gets the location of the annoying chess bad guy with some information from now dead guy. It literally ended with Sam saying "...checkmate " to him which fealt really forced... they never met until now and Sam onlt mentioned chess once in the whole book besides that. I think he played it with a friend for a paragraph while they chatted. Epilogue was ok too. The woman who helped him into Chernobyl was in a wax museume and Sam rocks up with a passport for her to get out and fly back to the US with him. Was weird. They flirted maybe twice halfway through the book and then he rocks up with that. She didnt even know his name until the epilogue because he used an alias.

Anyway, first two books are great, third was super slow but ended ok.

[ambivalentangst]

Cry and Scream, Soldier

do you guys ever have those people, especially the ones you only have online, that make your day like,, a solid 308% better?? Always? Because same and I LOVE ONE OF MINE TO PIECES, so I had to make something for their birthday. Without naming names, thanks for putting up with my bullshit for almost three years now—this one’s for you

tw: emotional trauma, self hatred, and descriptions of violence

Lance has always had a lot of nervous energy, but ever since that last mission gone wrong, he hasn’t let it out. There’s no room for that, and so his fingers remain still on the table where before he’d have all but worn a hole through the smooth surface with his tapping. His feet stay firmly on the ground, his lip remains free from teeth that want to nip at it.

Lance stares at the ceiling of the common room and does not move.

He supposes it’s not all bad, the tension building within him like a rubber band slowly being stretched too taut. He knows that he used to put Pidge on edge in the form of a lingering distraction on the outskirts of her brilliant mind. He hopes the lack of fidgeting is easier for her than for Lance. Every glance at the shine of his new fingers makes his stomach clench painfully, and he cannot allow himself to think about it.

He’s sweaty, just come back from training. He’s never liked training all that much, but he understands it to be necessary. Lance can feel the lecherous eyes of his own incompetence boring holes into his back, anyhow. He feels it splash against his calves, bite at his heels. He craves anything that means he won’t be left behind, so he’s forced himself to wrap the hideous amalgamations he calls hands around the handle of his sword, to press over the triggers of his rifles. Lance, at meals where everyone looks at him like he’s made of glass, jokes about his grip being easier with the lack of sweat.

Lance blinks at the sound of footsteps from down the hall. He’s found routine in that, the smile that hurts his cheeks but one he wears anyway when his teammates are around. His hand digs into his pocket, fumbling for the orange screen he pretends to be enamored with. In truth, sometimes Lance looks back on all the pictures he’s taken with the aliens they’ve saved and hopes in some private part of him that they’ll still appreciate him the same way despite everything.

Keith walks in and Lance greets him cheerfully. “Hey, mullet,” he tells him and stretches exaggeratedly in a practiced motion.

Keith’s acknowledging nod is jerky and over with quickly. “Lance.” Lance has always been a good actor, and he is as effervescent as ever as he tucks his hands under his thighs. “Coran mentioned that you’ve been logging a lot more hours on the training deck recently. You’re still,” Keith fumbles, and Lance thinks about how painfully obvious it is that he’s still uncertain of what to do with the mantle of a leader, “okay, right? Eating and sleeping and everything?”

Lance laughs, though is careful to make sure the sound doesn’t come off as mocking. Keith is still stumbling to find his footing on unfamiliar terrain, and Lance refuses to be the one to shove him off balance. “Yeah, don’t worry about me, Keithy-boy. I’m fine. Peachy. Dandy. Right as rain. The list goes on.” Lance will not drag Keith down with him into his muddled mind and scream ridden slumbers, even at his own expense. He is fine, will make himself fine for their new leader who is still mourning his lost brother, though nothing is final yet. He won’t let Keith blame himself, and so he smiles.

“Okay,” Keith tells him awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. “It’s just, you know, you didn’t do that before. And I thought it was weird. So I’m checking on you.” Keith’s efforts to care are comforting and make the curve of Lance’s scarred lips more genuine. They aren’t awful. They didn’t have to be remade, and as it is, the svelte lines crossing them are only visible under a bright light, a little white shine on his mouth that isn’t quite natural.

Lance nods in understanding, though doesn’t wave him off. His hands are much better off shoved into his pockets or smothered under his flight suit. “That’s good.” The phrase isn’t quite right, and Lance tries again. Tries to play at normality, like he hasn’t had claws pierce the mouth he can never seem to stop running. “It’s good to see you. How’s being leader treating you?” Lance is good at deflecting, just as he is good at being casual about everything else. He steers conversations with invisible suggestions and hints at matters he never directly brings up.

Keith’s mouth pinches and Lance is only more certain that he made the right choice when he sacrificed himself for him all those weeks ago. Keith is strong and fierce and everything Lance longs to be. He could never withstand his absence. “It’s hard,” Keith whispers after a moment of silence, almost ashamedly. Anger at whatever has made Keith embarrassed to show that kind of weakness builds to the cusp of a boil in Lance’s stomach. “Shiro was so much better at this, at everything. He knew everyone, how to be sure that we’re safe and given the support we need and I’m just scrambling to keep up with it all. There’s always another battle and sometimes I just want a break. Shiro never had to take a break. He was fine, but he’s better and I’m not. I’m just a kid.”

Keith’s voice cracks and Lance motions for him to sit. He doesn’t touch him—not anymore, not with his mechanic joints that never move as much as flesh and bone once did—but he does draw a blanket around his shoulders. “You don’t have to be Shiro. We’re not expecting you to be. When you became leader we took you as Keith, and that’s all we want. We all need a break. It’s okay to take one and to not be able to handle it all to start with. It’s,” Lance pauses because he knows all too well just how futile the fight they’ve adopted is. He thinks of white masks and twitching fingers before he can continue. “It’s not something you can take on alone. We’re here to make sure you don’t have to.”

Keith nods and Lance takes note of the way he tugs the fabric down a little more snugly. “Thanks, Lance. I’m, God, I’m so sorry for putting this on you, especially after I got you—”

His voice catches, and Lance shakes his head quickly as he cuts him off. “Nope! Nopity nope, not your fault. I don’t want to hear it. I made the sacrifice play, got my ass handed to me, and now I’m back home gearing up to return the favor. Nothing Lancey-Lance can’t handle.” He smiles brighter, wider, as though that light will cancel out the darkness blurring features but not the laughs the Galra made as they mutilated him slowly, carefully.

Keith’s face contorts now, looking angry. “They’re gonna’ pay for what they did to you, Lance,” he snarls. Lance ignores the jump of his heart at the familiarity of the sound. He goes to deflect—always avoiding anything that isn’t everybody else—but Keith isn’t done. “Your hands, your legs. They’ll regret it all.” Lance wants to tell Keith to stop, that he hates the mention of his defects and the pain. His kneecaps had been fixed, but Pidge and Hunk had had to get to work on crafting his new fingers. Lance has blocked out those first few days he spent going without. He’s never felt more pathetic than when Hunk spooned goo onto his tongue because neither hand had the ability to hold the utensil itself.

Keith is gathering speed now, vicious and furious, as he rants about what Lance and his tormentors deserve. Lance is able to handle it with bated breath until Keith says something about the fact that he missed all of Lance’s animation and chatter while the team tore themselves apart finding him. The shout builds unexpectedly, frantically from someplace terrified and twisted inside Lance. “Shut up! There’s no need for revenge because I’m okay and I don’t need to move like that anymore and everything is fine!”

This is not fine, not the tears building in Lance’s eyes, nor the suffocating tightness in his throat.

“I’m okay and everyone can just move on and stop worrying about every damn thing because I’m doing everything like they asked. I won’t tap or twist or talk back or anything anymore because my hands are disgusting enough as is—I don’t need any more alterations.” He spits the word like it’s poison, thinking of the druids and their cackling laughter as Lance howled in agony. “I’ll do everything like I’m supposed to and help everyone forget that I’m wrong now, so if everybody could shut up and let me that’d be great.” Lance pants, chest heaving while the world crashes down around him in memories and magenta.

Lance’s foot shakes.

A blade severs his pinky from its knuckle.

He forgets what they asked of him, alone in his cell while he wonders if it’s night or day. His knee knocks against the ground—Lance is always moving, always speaking, never still—and there goes his ring finger too.

Lance screams and screams and screams and tries to learn, but a lifetime of motion is not stopped so easily. When his hands have been stripped bare they move onto his knees. Those break and heal and break again in a hideous cycle.

Keith’s hands are shaking Lance’s shoulders and though he desperately wants an outlet, some form of release, he does nothing but meet Keith’s eyes while someone pulls at the string that is the only thing holding him together. Lance hears his voice through dim halls and lurking, yellow eyes, cutting through the acrid fear that has seized Lance. “Lance—Lance? Lance, come on, talk to me.”

Keith’s voice is frantic and Lance remembers his resolve to make being leader easier for him. He finds his voice, lost somewhere that Lance can’t place. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tells him and hopes Keith’s woeful lack of social aptitude will be enough to disguise the tremor in his voice. “It’s okay, look, I’m sorry for freaking out,” Lance has to pause to suck in air, though he does not remember doing anything that would leave him breathless, “don’t worry about it. Don’t tell the others.”

Lance hates this, the phantom touch of Keith’s hands holding his own. (He craves the contact, and clings to it like it’s his only anchor in a storm cleaving the ocean in two.) “I’m fine,” he murmurs desperately, even as somehow his head is pressing itself into the space between Keith’s neck and shoulder. The spot molds itself to Lance and it’s the warmest thing he’s felt since the smell of garlic and the salt of the sea was more than a memory. Later he’ll wonder how Keith felt—he’s always regarded touch like it’s more alien than the ship they’ve all made home—but all Lance can think in the moment is that he’s so, so grateful he’s there.

“I’m fine,” he says as he sobs and gets Keith’s shirt all wet while his fingers that are his own and somehow not fist in the fabric of it. “Leave. I know you’re busy. I don’t want to take up your time.” Keith’s arms are around him and they’re just as clumsy as he always is in times like these, not at all like the sure grip he maintains when he flies. Lance wants it, needs it.

“I’m fine,” he whispers and Keith doesn’t pretend to believe him, but he does stay. Lance is not fine, but he also cannot ask for anything more.

[staboteur]

“Who would’ve guessed? I do suppose this rolls round every... Semester or so. Whenever the stress gets high, something else also does.”

[lokgifsandmusings]

Definitive Ranking of Book 1 Episodes, #12/12

12. 1x12 Endgame

Amon stands and lets Korra expose him for drama, Asami and Hiroshi are just like Kevin Bacon, let’s hide in an empty room from the bloodbender, people weren’t all that into justice anyway, and Aang brings the funk.

What? It hasn’t been over 4 months since I last did one of these...get out of here!

For those who don’t know, I’ve been going back and rewatching each LoK episode, then definitively ranking the entire season with a series of metas, starting from “worst” to “best.” Wait, no quotes because it’s DEFINITIVE.

I began with the beautiful, heart stopping, breathtaking, life-changing shitshow that was Book 2, because its flaws in some ways became the show’s greatest strength, so it felt very worth the dive. Then I went to Book 4 probably because that’s the time period that interests me a ton, and it was a solid season, but one that sort of felt like it needed some polish. Book 3 is damn near perfect in my opinion, and the one I want to end on for that reason.

So yup, we’re in Book 1! And here’s the thing: rewatching this show, the first season is the one that gives you the least back. It’s not particularly deep or nuanced. And that’s fine! It did a good job expanding the world building, the aesthetics were beyond on-point, and I’ll stand by the characterizations as pretty dang compelling, even if Mako never landed for me until Book 3.

At the same time, had this been the one season mini-series it almost was...I just don’t see still talking about it. And yes, I say that knowing the end game (you see what I did there?) would have been a bit different. But it doesn’t really change that the greatest success of Book 1 was its set up and potential. So, I guess it’s not a shock that the episode at the bottom of this list is its finale. Which is best depicted here:

Yeah, it sounds harsh for something that was ~fine~, but each time I rewatch it, it gets even less fine. However, there’s also been a lot on this already. If you haven’t already, read @got-your-back-always-will’s piece on why it was so damn disappointing. Or you could read my words where I call it a narrative beer fart (I think I use this term a lot, to be fair), point out the leaps in logic and reasonable action necessary for it everything to occur, and then talk about kind of shitty, sexist, ableist implications. Hell, even my photo recap touches on this.

Yes, it was all unintentional, but just imagine a character as intersectional as Korra being sent off with her depression having been magically healed by a male character (yes I know Aang is her, but imagery matters and she was passively sitting while he did his thing) and then hooking up with the guy who treated another woman as something stuck to his shoe.

And I mean, add to that the way the main plotline just FIZZLED. Oh man, people aren’t oppressed anymore because the guy who wanted to help them was actually a bender? WHAT. Everything Amon and the Equalists were set-up to be, and it just ends with a crowd shrugging and looking sad.

Like...this ending isn’t the worst thing that’s been on TV. It’s just formulaic and feels not well-planned, which is kind of weird because wasn’t this the only season that *had* been fully scripted? I really don’t want to pile on as if it’s the most toxic thing ever (not by a long shot), but would this have actually been satisfying to anyone?

I feel like I’m going to just end repeating myself, and I really don’t want to pile on. So instead, I think it’s important to zoom out and look at what the season was supposed to be accomplishing as a whole.

Korra is the opposite of Aang. Not in a moral sense, but in the sense that Bryke’s process in creating her was literally, “instead of a spiritual, not-super-physical, reluctant male hero who was not happy about his role, what if we had a girl who was super into it, non-spiritual, and kind of a hockey-kid type?”. They talk about this on podcasts and stuff. Aang’s narrative was about how he needed to embrace his role since the world needed him. We’ve seen this before (though Aang and ATLA was very unique, don’t get me wrong) with stories like Harry Potter, or LOTR, or the Star Wars OT, and so on.

That kind of arc is sort of best summed up by this quote from our pal Dumbledore:

“It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”

But when you have a character that WANTS to be the hero, what do you do? You write a world that doesn’t want *them*. You write a struggle in their quest to find a place for themselves when the role they’re so ready to take on doesn’t really make sense anymore.

This is the point of the Equalists. Benders are the privileged minority, extorting the oppressed masses in the nonbenders. The Avatar in some ways represents the ultimate bender (with her inherent abilities), and is now in a world skeptical, scared, and teaming for revolution.

Specifically against her and her power structure. There’s the spiritual aspect to her role, but she was out-of-touch with it in the first season, while also facing a very here-and-now kind of problem.

The conclusion that Korra needed to reach as a character, and where she gets at the end of Book 2 actually (and then spends Books 3 and 4 fine-tuning that role while also going through a very powerful healing arc) is one where she stakes her OWN claim in the world. She defines her role in a way that’s significant to her and the meaning in her heroism comes from her assertion of that agency, and the way she basically screams for her right to exist into being. The world will find it *does* need her, and here’s why, damnit.

Book 1 didn’t get there at all. Fuck, it didn’t even address things like how Korra’s actions out of bravado were because of her horrible fear of appearing weak. That fear...it’s only something she got over after her healing arc, when she learned that being afraid isn’t a weakness, and she can recontextualize that fear and find a kind of strength in it. Now, it’s possible that whenever it was decided that Book 1 would be 1 of 4 seasons, they made sure to keep room for Korra’s character growth. Except...in 2x01 she’s rather backdialed, so it’s a difficult case to make.

Then, remember how her solution had been (more or less) to punch things? Which is why @projectvoicebend has been referred to as “biting satire” thanks to their exaggerated depiction of that? But in Endgame, she literally saves the day with brute force. Not that Amon *shouldn’t* have been knocked out of a window, but this is rather bizarre messaging.

She unlocked airbending in a time of desperation, and used it aggressively to get rid of the threat. Like...okay. But, we didn’t need to see an entire season to buy this kind of thing happening. Hell, if she had been de-bended in 1x04 and someone else was threatened, I could still see this happening.

Was the implication that it’s the power of love? Had it been Bolin or Tenzin there, just sucks for them? I kind of find that hard to swallow, too. Really, they just needed Amon to be unmasked, and this is the way they contrived Korra to do it. It wasn’t exactly a huge character moment as much as it was leveling up in a video game.

Now, I do think overall it’s good that Korra didn’t find a place for herself in the world at the end of the first season. That was hard-earned, and even creating the new spiritual age wasn’t the endpoint of that theme since people were resistant to change—of losing control. However, could there have at least been an indication that REFORM WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? Yeah, the revolutionaries aren’t exactly blameless here seeing as they bombed an entire city, but Endgame literally reset the tensions in Republic City. Well, until Shiro recapped the creation of an entire democracy for us in 2 sentences.

It was like...the set box that Bryke had created at the beginning of the season needed to stay perfectly intact. And it wasn’t organic at all for Korra to be the person upholding that, because she is inherently such a transgressive character. This is why I’ve called it a round peg in a square hole, and this is why had *that* been the ending to the series, my own reaction would have been as dejected as the people who realized Amon painted a scar on his face.

Hell, what does this even mean on a thematic level? Desperation breeds education? Never idolize anyone who promises simple solutions to your problems? Reincarnation has its uses if you’re in enough pain?

Really, this show is supposed to be about Korra’s growth and trajectory, and...I just am struggling to see much of anything here.

Frankly, it gets worse the longer I think about it too. Equalists are like, bad and junk. Bombing cities and brutalizing your enemies (while evoking genocidal language with that whole ‘impurity’ thing) is not good, mmkay? But from another entirely valid angle, isn’t part of what Amon stood for really about disarmament? Should they have been so cartoonishly evhul that they suddenly needed to de-bend the pacifistic airbender children?

The only thing that kind of worked in this plotline was Asami and Hiroshi. And yeah, I know I’m the ultimate Asami fangirl so it’s going to read biased, but I’m serious: she was the only nonbender we really heard from about this. She was the one who had the same pain that her father had (her mother’s death at the hands of bending gangs), and experienced the same type of oppression he did, and still resoundly rejected violence. I’m not sure what she saw as a pathway to reform, but she could tell that Hiroshi’s actions weren’t coming from a place of empathy any longer, even if it might have begun like that.

Rewatching everything today when nazi punching discourse is disturbingly not theoretical, there is something a little frustrating about how simplified even this conflict was made. I’m not saying the Equalists are fascists at all, but can we at least try and position ourselves in the nonbender perspective, when there’s a lot of valid grievances, and Amon is just doing exactly what Aang did to Yakone (initially, back when he was targeting just triad members)? That’s worth a conversation! Sure, we got Asami standing up to Tarrlok in 1x08, sure, but her drive to take down her father was so clearly personal thanks to the years of deception, that the nonbender oppression sort of got swallowed in it all.

I still think it worked better than anything else, especially how Asami was not able to bring herself to harm her father the way he was willing to do. It’s tragic, and I don’t even begrudge Bolin swooping in for the save for that reason, even though the whole passive-woman/active-man thing is what I’m bitching about for Korra. But it’s different. Right?

I also found Tarrlok and Amon’s ending perfectly fine (and VERY jarring for a Y7 show) given that it was another exploration into abuse, the cycle of violence, and a kind of poetic self-fulfilling prophecy. But that’s more for 1x11.

God, you know what it is? Bryke never figured out what they wanted to say with Book 1. They had great worldbuilding ideas, and the tensions set up were quite compelling. It just lacked a *point* beyond “this might be cool to explore.” It was, and then the time came to tie it up, so it splatted.

In the end, they’re just damn lucky that Korra had something to say of her own.

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

Book 4 ranking/essays found here

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30th June 2019

The reason there wasn’t a top 20 ranking today is I have an unwritten rule that if there’s more than three debuts in the top 20, I’ll keep a surprise until I release the chart episode, and, yeah, it’s one of those weeks and I am more tired than I think I’ve ever been writing one of these episodes so if I make mistakes or don’t seem passionate, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get through this as quick as possible, and this episode might even end up a bit late, so I apologise if so.

Top 10

For the seventh week since its debut, Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber are still at the top spot with their drowsy hit “I Don’t Care”, which I still don’t see the appeal in other than starpower.

At number-two, we have our highest of eight overall Top 40 debuts and two top five debuts, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, assumingly from Mendes’ newest upcoming third album. It’s also debuted at #2 in the US, blocked by “Old Town Road”, because of course it is. This is his ninth UK Top 40 hit, and his seventh top 10, as well as Cabello’s ninth UK Top 40 hit, and her third Top 10.

At number-three, we have “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy, a spot down from last week.

At number-four, however, up four full spaces from last week, we have Ed Sheeran once again, this time with Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock, for “Cross Me”.

Stormzy has also launched two songs in the top five as his new arrival “Crown” debuts at number-five, becoming his sixteenth UK Top 40 hit and seventh Top 10. We’ll talk more about this song and “Senorita” later.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi is thankfully down two spaces to number-six since last week.

Surprisingly, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X didn’t rebound as successfully as I figured it would because of the EP release, instead it stays still at number-seven.

“No Guidance” by Chris Brown featuring Drake is down two spaces to number-eight.

The late Avicii’s “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc is not moving at number-nine.

Finally, Taylor Swift’s debut from last week barely clings onto the top 10 as “You Need to Calm Down” falls five spaces already to #10, but I suppose it’s not as bad as the 11-space loss to #13 in the US.

Climbers

There’s none to speak of, and that’s not even an over-exaggeration really, since there is not a single boost bigger than three spaces up for a song in the top 40, but I guess it’s good to see “Mad Love” by Mabel in the top 15, so that’s something, although it should probably be in the top 10.

Fallers

Well, damn near everything. Let’s sort by genre.

Fallers for pop and “rock” outside of the top 10 with a fall down three spots or more included “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi down three to #14, “Bounce Back” by Little Mix collapsing down seven to #17, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish having a streaming cut down 15 spaces to #19, “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi down five to #22, “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike unfortunately down five to #26, “ME!” by Taylor Swift featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco also in freefall down 12 to #30 and “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus down four to #40.

Fallers for EDM under the same criteria include “One Touch” by Jax Jones and Jess Glynne down four to #23, “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys down four to #24 and “Heaven” by the late Avicii featuring Chris Martin down 10 to #38.

Fallers for hip-hop and R&B also under the same criteria include “The London” by Young Thug featuring J. Cole and Travis Scott down five to #29, “OT Bop” by NSG down five to #35, “Shine Girl” by MoStack featuring Stormzy completely disbanding 14 spaces down to #36 and “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy down seven to #39, and that’s all.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The biggest story here is the one I expected the most. “Omerta” by Drake is completely out of the UK Singles Chart from #33, mostly because it’s inaccessible and only got big briefly because of Drake’s existence and starpower. Other than Drake, our top 40 dropouts are plenty. We have “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig presenting EUROPA featuring Madison Beer out from #34, “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man out from #40, “Late Night Feelings” by Mark Ronson featuring Lykke Li is out from #35, “Falling Like the Stars” by James Arthur out from #38, and “Sixteen” by Ellie Goulding out from #27, sadly never reaching a peak of #16. Oh, and Skepta’s two hits are gone, with “Greaze Mode” featuring Nafe Smallz and “What Do You Mean?” featuring Skepta out from #37 and #39 respectively, and because it’s a very busy week, there’s pretty obviously no returning entries, so now it’s time to face the beast.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Find U Again” – Mark Ronson featuring Camila Cabello

Produced by Mark Ronson and Tame Impala – Peaked at #24 in Ireland

I’m going to be doing this in a slightly different but not optimal setting. I’ll listen to the new arrivals in a room without being chained up to my headphones on a chair but instead draining my thoughts on here with the song out loud. Sorry if I don’t notice any little details because of that but I think I’ll be able to make up what I think of a song with that and I’m boiling so we’ll have a little shake-up of the formula for once, and I’m boiling and exhausted so let’s get through it. Anyway, this is our first of two Cabello features this week, and this one is from the recently-released Late Night Feelings album by Mark Ronson, with this song debuting in the top 40, becoming Ronson’s twelth UK Top 40 and Cabello’s eighth, and well, it’s pretty okay. I’ve never liked Camila’s voice but she’s tamed down here and sounds pretty great in this multi-tracked falsetto, especially over a VERY 90s R&B instrumental (Which by the way is beautiful). The instrumental is very twinkly and incredibly synth-heavy, with a lot of fun groove in the verses, where Camila goes for a pretty quirky delivery that works very well, despite an abrupt and pretty janky drop. The lyrical content is nonexistent, really, but the 808s in the bridge especially deliver that emotion of never being able to cling onto something you previously had, in this case an ex, and while this can be repetitive, and perhaps somewhat undercooked in terms of songwriting, this instrumental is perfectly crafted and Camila stays in her comfort zone, thankfully, so I can forgive a couple lyrical issues. This is pretty damn good, and I’m suddenly much more excited to check out that album – this is much less spacey and actually delivers the mood it intends to, which is the problem I had with the title track weeks before.

#34 – “MEGATRON” – Nicki Minaj

Produced by Pop Wansel – Peaked at #9 in Hungary and #20 in the US

For Nicki Minaj’s damage-control lead single produced by a generic pop executive with no signature style and her 39th(!) UK Top 40 single, I’m expecting a complete trainwreck with no redeemable qualities.

Yup. This is terrible, so much that I almost felt embarrassed listening to it that I had to put Private Session on. The worst thing about this is that it had potential, I do like that pumping sampled guitar riff, but I can’t forgive the badly-mixed snares and incessant nonsense words yelled and stuttering effects that got old in 2010, as well as pretty aggravating and cheap Auto-Tune in the janky pre-chorus, not forgetting the chorus which is not only just “when I’m drinkin’” rhymed several times without an internal rhyme, but it only stops when she decides not to finish her line and awfully segue by a few “brat-dat-dat”s over to the next section of the song. The lyrical content in the miniscule verses that are here, is pretty standard Nicki fare about “clapping on the D”, but watered-down to fit for a radio that will definitely not put this mess in rotation. It doesn’t have a climax, or a bridge other than... a minimal instrumental forcing you to listen to Nicki and it’s just one corny bar repeated with pointless vocal effects filling time. Mrs. Minaj, do you know how a bridge or middle-eight works? The outro is maddening and honestly this whole track is an absolute disasterpiece. I would call it a stretch for it to be encapsulated madness but this really is a ridiculous listen. PNTHN did it better.

#28 – “Mr Sheeen” – Digga D and Russ splash

Produced by Gotcha Bxtch

Digga D, we’ve seen twice before, Russ splash (No, not Russ from the US as someone on Twitter suspected), we’ve seen twice before, and this song title intrigues me. I suspect it’s about Charlie Sheen, and I damn well hope it is, he’s an intriguing man, we need a Charlie Sheen concept album. Somehow I doubt it, and I’m right, it’s about using a gun as a cleaning product.. or a cleaning product as a gun. Probably both, but they’re also cleverly using an extra “E” to avoid copyright infringement. Subtle. Is the song any good? Well, the menacing synth reminds me of more EDM-influenced trap and while monotonous and repetitive, it is intimidating and this instrumental  does build up as it goes. Something isn’t clicking, and I think it’s Russ. Digga D has some decent wordplay and provides most of the content here, handling half the hook and two full verses, which are both pretty good although his flow is often a bit janky to co-operate with the beat, and does sound offbeat at times when the beat’s still developing in the first verse. I feel like it should have been one verse between two choruses instead, then Russ comes in, so structure’s a bit off there. The chorus is also pretty iffy, with a lot of blank space on the beat between Russ’ nasal flows snabbed from his OTHER hits “Gun Lean” and “Keisha & Becky”, and the transition between his verse and his chorus is non-existent and lazy, much like Russ’ second verse which didn’t need to happen. The beat is pretty okay but they have no idea how to approach it. Ideally, I would have no chorus on this song, as it just seems to have screwed up their plans a bit, since the hook is especially rushed. Russ brings nothing to the song at all, so I’d cut him off in an ideal world, but how about make the chorus the intro while the beat’s still building up into the drop, then have Digga D and Russ deliver back-to-back verses, with the hook MAYBE coming back for an outro? That just seems to be a better way to approach it in my opinion, but the song’s not bad on its own and I commend it for that to an extent, it just needs a bit of reworking.

#25 – “Panini” – Lil Nas X

Produced by Take a Daytrip – Peaked at #12 in Canada and Slovakia, and #16 in the US

This is Lil Nas X’s second Top 40 hit since “Old Town Road” in the UK and I’m just going to copy-paste what I said in my review of his (Expectedly) mediocre yet somewhat impressively versatile EP 7 (a light 5/10) and while I have warmed up to it now because of how infectious and short it is, these words still hold up pretty well in terms of my opinion on the song, which is it’s a lazy label-manufactured follow-up.

So, “Old Town Road” is genius because it’s not even two minutes and has so much energy and charisma, as well as being a massive smash hit and also kind of a bop. It worked, so he deleted all of his older music and paid rent off of “Road” and “Road” alone. It’s captivating because of its brevity. How, then, do you ask, is he going to make a song more than two and a half minutes captivating, intriguing, interesting? Answer is, he doesn't. “Panini”, two seconds longer than the original “Old Town Road”, has some pretty bland sloshy trap production, where Lil Nas X, previously seemingly rejecting Auto-Tune on OTR, croons catchy pop-rap choruses that just drones on, with miniscule verses that lead into odd, abrupt emo-rap breakdowns including an unrecognisable interpolation of Nirvana's "In Bloom"? Oh, yeah, and whistling worked the first time, but when it's not Billy Ray, it's not working, and the song ends up not feeling unfinished but definitely missing a third verse or bridge  because it is short as all hell, and adds up to nothing without having that same punch as “Old Town Road”. In conclusion, it’s probably the best Travis Scott reference track I’ve ever heard.

#20 – “Kilos” – Bugzy Malone featuring Aitch

Produced by Swifta Beater and B. Somebody

Bugzy Malone is a pretty respected British rapper out of Manchester, and he’s been bubbling and buzzing on the scene for a while now but he’s just started recently to have all that much chart success, specifically in the Top 40. So, he teams up with newcomer Aitch for a second Top 40 hit for the both of them (Bugzy only having leads, Aitch only having features, coincidentally), a first top 20 hit for the both of them, and both Bugzy and Aitch’s highest-charting song, so it’s clearly one the public has latched onto if the other songs didn’t have enough of it to chart this high. When first putting it on, I knew exactly why, it’s that Latin trap instrumentation, with some pretty plastic brass and surprisingly bouncy Latin guitar that isn’t as stiff as you’d expect, Bugzy Malone delivering an insane verse, with a couple flow switches and story-telling that is unseen from most mainstream rappers, despite an offbeat chorus, detailing his story with a somewhat generic trail but a powerful convincing delivery. Aitch tries to do the same but he’s way too generic with no quirks at all that make him interesting. He’s just listing off typical British hip hop subjects and lines I swear I’ve heard before in one flow and one flow only, and it gets pretty boring, despite his charisma. Thankfully, Bugzy comes back with a short third verse book-ending the story and the beat is incredible, so without Aitch, I’m pretty sure this would have been near-perfect. I like how the chorus and first verse focuses on what they were getting themselves into before the come-up as a hip-hop artist, specifically drug trafficking, Aitch’s is how people react to the come-up, and the final verse is Bugzy celebrating fame by mentioning three-piece suits and such. There’s a nice scale there and I think this is actually pretty good, despite Aitch wasting a lot of time, so it’s a shame he’s on here, it feels like wasted potential, although I understand the purpose of his performance here, it doesn’t come close to Bugzy’s bars and feels a bit lacklustre. Congratulations on your hit though, guys, especially Swifta Beater and B. Somebody because this slaps hard.

#19 – “Mocking It” – JAY1

Produced by Nastylgia

Now for this dude again. God, I hated that last Top 20 hit he had, “Your Mrs”, and I haven’t heard anything since, so I was dreading this, and yeah, it’s pretty bad. If you can even dignify the instrumental as a “beat”, then the beat is pretty awful. It’s an off-beat synth bleep sound and a sub-bass, except this time it’s distorted and there’s some badly-mixed percussion, much like a DJ Mustard beat with all of the charm cut out. This sounds just like “Your Mrs”... except it’s good. See, Nastylgia knows how to sound intimidating with minimalist beats, and how to elevate a song’s energy, while the producer for “Your Mrs”, Coolie was a bit of a hack, so no matter what JAY1 says, this song will be better because it has the basics on how to make an interesting beat, which his last hit lacks. The beat here is actually pretty good because of its minimalism which is intimidating yet bouncy because of the 808s having so much fun in the background. However, once that gets boring, there’s a rapid-fire 808 jab until the beat suddenly picks up some pace, with Jay here switching up his flow for the third time in the first 30 minutes for the chorus, in a more melodic flow without autotune and instead sounding pretty mocking as the percussion just goes at it, but then the climax isn’t there yet? Maybe the basics aren’t here, because immediately after there isn’t a big climax, instead a post-chorus without percussion the beat cuts off and then returns in normal form, with odd 808-jab transitions excusing making the beat sound smoothly cobbled together. Then an incredibly repetitive bridge initiates with dumb chipmunk vocals, and there’s a final post-chorus with some female moaning, but then a fourth (or fifth?) freaking verse, where a cheap flute comes in and everyone’s confused. Yeah, I overestimated this guy because this still kind of sucks, I can see improvement though, but the beat work (Yes, I am nitpicking this a lot) really bothers me, especially since nothing Jay says warrants the experimentation or menace this beat tries to give him

#5 – “Crown” – Stormzy

Produced by Jimmy Napes and MJ Cole

Now it’s time for what are supposed to be the “big” debuts this week, but honestly I don’t see much in these two songs that require this much attention and success other than starpower. First, we have a non-explicit song from rapper Stormzy, and since I’m quite a fan I checked this out when it was first released a week or two ago, and while some may see the all-singing route as new ground for Stormz, this should have been pretty evident from the gospel-tinged tracks on Gang Signs & Prayer, and this has of course an influence from that genre but this is mostly reminiscent of a lot of British pop and soft rock from people like Ed Sheeran and... Lewis Capaldi. In fact, it sounds like one of Tinie Tempah’s pop crossover singles from back in 2010, like that one with Eric Turner, but this rendition is so much better and more genuine, with the gentle vintage lo-fi piano loop providing Stormzy’s surpisingly good singing voice (Of course it’s not amazing but it’s not supposed to be incredible, and it fulfils its purpose). The piano loop is used in a completely different way when it’s flipped to a hip-hop beat, which hilariously is just a clean brag-rap for the kiddies, but it works well, as he acknowledges “heavy is the head that wears the crown” and how hypocritical this verse is in comparison to the soulful chorus. I’d love to see this in an album context, as I’m curious to who is being honest here, the hardcore rapper or the gospel (Children’s?) choir. The lyrics are also pretty funny, the line ending off the first verse in particular. The climax of strings and vocal samples and an 808 are a great way of ending the chorus, and the elevation of the verses with gospel vocalising is pretty great. This is excellent, I’m excited to see where this goes, success-wise and in the album, and I’m happy this is here.

#2 – “Senorita” – Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello

Produced by watt, benny blanco and Cashmere Cat – Peaked at #1 in Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway and Slovakia, and #2 in the US

Okay, this is kind of disappointing. I hated the last Mendes single, which I thought was overproduced trite without any sense of passion, so surely a stripped-back seductive Latin song would be up my street and what I would want out of Mendes’ upcoming album, but no, this really is undercooked. I don’t have much to say, but the slick guitar here, despite somewhat bouncy with the finger-snaps, really doesn’t work as a backing against Camila’s squealing, and Mendes’ falsetto doesn’t sound great here either, with a surprising lack of chemistry between them. The chorus is undercooked in that it’s filled to the brim with “la, la, la” repetitions that get on my nerves instead of all that much interesting lyrical content and substance. I mean, I should look at the verses for that and I shouldn’t care about the poetic structure of a pop song, but I can’t help but feel this chorus, although incredibly catchy, is a very rushed part of the song. I don’t mind this, but it does feel very lightweight, especially for Camila, both of whose vocals sound great on the outro when it’s just subtly Auto-Tuned riffing. The song itself is just about an obsessive, sensual love, that they can’t take themselves away from. Apart from seemingly being released in pretty rushed form to fend off “Does Shawn Mendes is gay?” rumours, I can’t really get too mad at this, but I feel it could have been a lot better.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Stormzy, no question, for “Crown”, with Honourable Mention going to Camila Cabello and Mark Ronson for “Find U Again”. Worst of the Week, I’m left with a lot of options, but there’s no way in hell it’s going to anyone but Nicki Minaj for “MEGATRON”, God, that’s a trashy song. Dishonourable Mention goes to JAY1 for “Mocking It”, but that’s all I have to say really about this week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!