#sir godfrey thornrose

[sugashook]

So Much Stardust

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

This is a meta on Our Flag Means Death episode 5: The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well, Sir Godfrey Thornrose, The scene where he calls Ed a donkey, and so called "race science."

It has come to my attention that some of you apparently do not know what a phrenologist is.

*a note: I'm going to for the purposes of this assume that the guy played by Jeff Lorch is sir Godfrey Thornrose, I do not know this for certain but in my opinion even if he is not Thornrose the same principles still apply to him for reasons I will discuss in this meta.

So lets recap the scenes I want to touch on. At the beginning of episode 5 Stede is teaching Ed how to identify rich people cutlery like they're Barney Thompson and Vivian Ward in pretty woman. Stede bitches at Thornrose for not having enough spoons for Stede's liking. Thornrose responds "My apologies, I hadn't imagined we'd be hosting your kind."

Ed responds "My kind, what kind"

to which Godfrey responds "A rich donkey is still a donkey."

Ed then proceeds to scream at him and then orders Fang to skin him with a snail fork before throwing him overboard. To which Fang presumably responds by either skinning him with a normal skinning implement or forgoing the skinning step and just throwing him overboard, because who tf has time to skin a man with a snail fork.

I've seen some dogshit takes on this scene. I've seen it treated as evidence that Ed is exceptionally violent or abusive or has mood swings or anger issues or whatever bullshit. And I... Do Not Agree. You'll see why.

The next scene I want us to have in our back pocket is the first couple scenes with Gabriel and Antionette. When Gabriel and Antionette introduce themselves to Ed and Stede they reveal that Sir Godfrey Thornrose is a quote "Master Phrenologist." Stede is then expected to study Antionette's head. When he does he introduces his fake craft as "Phrenology, which is the study of the human head." He then takes a wild guess as to Antionette's heritage based on her skull lumps.

Content warning for like real old school racism ahead.

The reason Stede goes for the heritage is because Phrenology is a pseudoscience closely linked to other contemporary race science of the time. It was the idea that bumps on your head, thought to be caused by the pressure of the brain, could be used to identify your personality traits.

Phrenology gets really fucking racist, really fucking fast. Phrenology was used as proof that the white race was superior to other races, and as a justification for slavery and eugenics. Eugenics is the idea that you can improve society through breeding out "bad genes", which is almost universally popular among all types of racists, but the Nazis were big fans of it and there's a direct through line between the race scientists in the 1700s who were into phrenology and modern hate groups and neo nazis. I wanted to use an image here as an example of racist phrenology texts, but it's rough and I don't want to make a cut so I'm just going to link to the wordpress anthropology article I found the picture in, it's sourced and an alright place to start if you're into further reading.

With this information, I would like to use another example, that is relevant to the ethnicities in contention. A French physician who attracted huge crowds with his phrenology lectures, François-Joseph-Victor Broussais, once claimed that Maori people (as well as indigenous Australians) could never become civilized since he claimed they had no cerebral organ for producing great artists.

This is the context in which we need to understand the exchange between Ed and the French captain. I've seen some people claim it's about class and not about race, but Thornrose acknowledges Ed's wealth when he says a rich donkey is still a donkey. It doesn't matter to a man like Thornrose what Ed does or how rich he is or how well he can learn his fucking forks, he's still akin to an animal in this skull molesting freak's racist little mind. If a phrenologist, or even someone who's rubbing elbows with a phrenologist, calls a man of color a donkey they're clearly saying he's an uncivilized animal based on the shape of his face. That's how racists operate.

And Sir Godfrey Thornrose is not just any old racist, he's a racist spreading his ideology to other people, convincing them that people like Ed are inferior, that people like him should be subjugated by white people. He is clocking in for his shift at the racism factory creating more racists.

So basically what I'm saying is Ed should skin him, no quarter for genocidal maniacs. Basically I can tell you're either racist sympathetic or talking out of your ass if you think French captain was fucked up. It was antifascist direct action and I don't want to hear another word about it. I personally believe the only thing you can't come back from is death in terms of being a better person. I also believe that there are situations in which killing someone is more or less fine and you're never gonna catch me feeling bad for a fucking phrenologist when he compares an indigenous pirate to an animal and the pirate responds by doing what pirates do.

Killing Godfrey was based.

[3majorursaminor77]

In light of our attention being brought to the adorable life-affirming fact that Ed had butterflies in his updo for the hoity toity French boat party, let's not forget that Stede also had a whole bunch of flowers in his wig as well!! Literally have watched this so many times and each time thought that he had ribbons/ bows. I am thrilled to see that they are in fact flowers. Plus his flower and tree covered silver jacket paired with the checker patterned vest is so killer.

They both have flowers in their hair in fact!

And one more for good luck.

Sorry I don't know who made this last gif, I found it on the googles. If anyone knows or recognizes it, please tell me so I can give credit.

Anyways this is just such a queer thing to do, go to some hoity toity party filled with racist, straight, cis neurotypicals and just make your whole get up look super whimsical and magical. :)))))

[alexibeeart]

what a fucking week am i right crew it's only Thursday

[nicnacsnonsense]

Amused by our four party crashers rolling up to the ship having done apparently zero discussion as to their cover identities beyond deciding Stede would be Sir Godfrey. It seems like Frenchie was the only one who even considered that a cover story would be necessary.

[lauravian]

Ah yes, my actual OTP. Sir Godfrey Thornrose and Jeff the Accountant..

[schattenhonig]

Warning, spoilers for S2 ahead!

I have a feeling that in ofmd we have an unreliable narrator that is just making things up as they go, and that season 2 had to go like this, had to end like this, because all the time there were no real consequences for the crew. It feels like a story told in a pub after one too many, and I love it!

Deserted and never served that ten year sentence in the British Navy? Guess the British were still celebrating the take down of Blackbeard, so no one noticed.

Buttons never turned up again? Guess he turned into a bird.

Various crew members got injured, stabbed and the like, but the wounds never had any consequences except for when they had to (more on that in a moment).

People just turn up in the middle of the ocean. In a dinghy with no fresh water or rations, not even a sammy.

On a related note: having a huge party on a ship in the middle of the ocean, sending out invitations to people like SiR GoDfReY ThOrNrOsE (yes, thee Sir Godfrey ThOrNrOsE) and expecting people to find said ship? How?!

No one uses any nautical equipment, let alone maps or methods of navigation. It's like the compass was never invented and the stars are not for navigation but to reflect in the lovestruck eyes of some idiots (affectionate).

Time doesn't matter. Like at all. Characters that were historically not even born? Oh, but they are needed for the plot to work! Figures of speech and songs that were invented hundreds of years later? Shut up, things get lost in translation all the time!

And now for the ending of season 2...

MAJOR SPOILER ahead:

As far as I remember Izzy is the first crew member to actually die on-screen.

Season 1 was very dream-like, almost too perfect, while season 2 focused on the relationship between Ed and Stede becoming more real, less fairy tale like. What if season 3 has all the unfinished business coming at them, and Izzy's death is like that infamous moment in Disney's Mulan where they find the destroyed village and there's no more singing...

I feel like this is literally the moment where our sweet pirate fairy tale turns dark and consequences start to matter.

Also, please feel free to add, I haven't actually seen the new episodes, I'm in non-pirate-y waters 😅 this is just what I figured from the many GIFs, comments and analyses.

[dimity-lawn]

Technically the invitation was addressed to Sir Godfrey Thornrose…

[chocolatepot]

Tagged by @emi--rose! Rules: Share the first lines of your ten most recent fics and tag ten people.

It had all been a dreadful mistake. (From We're Lost Out Here In The Stars, Good Omens, WIP.)

As a little boy, Stede is entranced by his soulmark: a vivid bird-of-paradise flower splashed across his ribcage, orange as flame and shades of iridescent blue. (From Bird of Paradise, OFMD.)

Muriel had never expected to go to Earth. (From The Crow Road, Good Omens.)

It had been a lovely day. (From with the dust of the stars in her eyes, OFMD.)

Crowley did not like picnics, as a rule. (From One Date, Good Omens.)

“Anyway,” said Stede briskly, handing the invitation back to Frenchie, “it says ‘Sir Godfrey Thornrose,’ and neither of us is a sir, so …” (From Fiftieth Ficlets (A Miscellany), OFMD.)

It had certainly been an ordeal. (From An Officer and a Gentleman, or, All Kinds of Situations, OFMD.)

There was something in Marial that could never be still. (From Fiercely, The Great.)

Stede returns much more quickly than Ed could ever expect. (From Momentum, OFMD.)

It hadn’t been a big ship, but Ed had been able to see even at a distance that it would have rich pickings. (From it's a good day for curin' your ills, OFMD.)

Tagging (and apologies for retagging if that happens): @oatmilktruther, @wistfulcynic, @nostalgia-tblr, @chaotic-neutral-knitter, @amuseoffyre, @menaceanon, @appleteeth, @mia-ugly, @downstarr, @bizarrelittlemew!

[scariercnidaria]

also a detail in e5 i just noticed is that the sailor tied to the mast is spanish, the guy in the fork scene is french, and "sir godfrey thornrose" is an incredibly english name. which implies that they have done. A lot more looting than you might notice at first

[snake-snack-stede]

do you think sir godfrey thornrose's wife looks back on their marriage and thinks if only I had been an accountant.... if only he'd asked

[aspocko]

honestly i think the most underrated joke in the whole show is stede telling ed that the fancy crowd probably won't be interested in his skull story, and then seconds later everyone is thrilled to meet sir godfrey thornrose the master phrenologist!!! definitely requires prior knowledge of what phrenology is, since by the time stede explains this nasty eugenics-based hobby it's got too much distance from the first part of the joke. you immediately learn that 1) these people are truly terrible, and 2) stede is just as clueless as ed. i just think it's very good writing, and a very funny joke.

[zorak-show]

Cringe's OFMD Masterlist

Collection of everything I've written for OFMD so far, all links are ao3.

Most of what I write is explicit 18+ gentlebeard content.

screenshot courtesy of @ofmdscreenshots

Most recent fics on top

If I Could Be Who You Wanted 1ch, 8.5k words, gentlebeard

The party boat episode, except when they get there they learn it's a romantic couple's cruise. Which is fine, totally fine, and Stede isn't freaking out at all about being Blackbeard's fake fiance.

Sugar Me Sweet 1ch, 6.4k words, gentlebeard

Ed has been delivering sugar to Stede's coffee shop, The Revenge, for months. After their flirting is too much for the crew of The Revenge to stomach, Lucius presents Stede with an ultimatum. Ask Ed out on a date or he's quitting.

To the One I Love 1ch, 2.4k words, gentlebeard

Ed makes NYE plans for him and Stede. When he goes to pick Stede up, he finds him hiding away embarrassed by a breakout. Ed comforts him in this fluffy self indulgent fic.

The Flight Attendant 16ch, 32k words gentlebeard

Stede Bonnet, a divorced, slightly depressed flight attendant hooks up with a handsome passenger he met aboard his flight to Beijing. When he wakes up to a grisly murder scene, his once boring life is thrown into a whirlwind of crime, mystery, and seduction beyond his wildest dreams and nightmares.

Oh Godfrey, please (don't) stop fingering my dents 1ch, 4.8k words, gentlebeard

A Sir Godfrey Thornrose and Jeff the Accountant silly, overly fluffy, smut.

The Kraken and the Menace 1ch, 2k words, gentlebeard

Stede reunites with Ed, and unknowingly brings the English Navy along with him. King George is delighted to have captured the two runaway pirates and gives them an offer to quite literally fuck or die.

Forever and a Day 2ch, 5.5k words, gentlebeard

Body worship fic with lingerie

Oh my god, they were co-captains 1ch, 5k words, gentlebeard

Stede and Ed are co-captains, so that means they have to share everything. Even the one bed.

hush, my darling, you're here with me 1ch, 4.3k words, gentlebeard

Stede wants to try a little bondage after reading it can help overcome trauma. Things don’t quite go as planned.

Like Ships of Fools in the Night 6ch, 11.8k words, gentlebeard

Ed and Stede just got married and are having a difficult time consummating their marriage without interruptions.

(Or 5 times they try gettin' it on plus one time they do)

Calico Jack's Guide to Buggering 1ch, 1k words, jack/stede

Jack and Stede engage in a filthy dalliance.

Pocket Sized Pirates 1ch, 2k words, gentlebeard

“Why do you look at me like that?" Stede asked, refilling his brandy glass.

"Like what?" Ed leaned back on the sofa, not breaking his gaze on Stede.

"Like that! like you…" Stede searched for the right word. He wanted to say 'adore,' but that felt presumptuous. Meanwhile, Ed's eyes continued sparkling at him, "like I'm some priceless treasure?" Stede sipped from his brandy, eyes shifting down and away from Ed.

"Maybe you are."

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

As someone who did one long fic and promised to never do it again, here's my ofmd role reversal au with a moderate dose of oc's

So it all starts with their childhoods, as the literal reverse happens:

Ed doesn't kill his dad

And Stede accidentally paperweights Nigel

For Stede, he runs away obviously, and finds his way as a sailor with some captain

Works his way up to having his own ship and crew, with most of our beloved crewmates onboard

He gains a reputation as The Gentleman Pirate, his eccentric ways of piracy making him legend-like

He also has quite the body count, which no one really knows how he kills off his victims

(Just incredibly ridiculous coincidences so he kinda-but-not-really kills them)

Yes he loves the freedom, but he can't help but be reminded of what he left behind... of what he did...

Ed meanwhile, since he didn't kill his dad, instead convinces his mom to leave him while he's gone

But since society ain't kind to a poor single mom of color, they live like shit

Ed thus takes on as the breadwinner of the family, working harder than his mom has to

Mostly odds and ends until he gets a gig as a blacksmith apprentice, eventually opening a shop of his own. Finally, him and his mom are in a good place financially and stability wise

But it's all so fucking boring: he has all these clients needing swords and gun pieces for the navy and shit

- some bit of assholes really, like this one dude Chauncey -

while he wants more than anything to use them himself, and go on his own adventure

So using his saved up money, he buys a ship and tries to pass it off as a gift using a mini model of it

His mom however, doesn't like the ocean, and knows how sad his son is with their lives - we only have this one life, let's make the most of it

So he sets off in the middle of the night, leaving all his money he earned to her and tries to be a pirate... his mom's words ringing in his ears

Alright, we got our set-up, let's talk about our side characters:

On Stede's crew, we got Jim, Buttons, Swede, Roach, Lucius, Wee John... and Mary Read

(When a Sir Godfrey Thornrose attended a party, he ended up getting found out by Mary - but impressed by her idea to swindle the guests, he convinces her to join his crew as they depart a flaming ship full of rich people at each other's throats, after a game The Gentleman Pirate was fond of played)

Mary becomes First Mate, so she and Stede have a Izzy/Ed dynamic going on, but a little less toxic and sexually charged (it makes sense, trust me)

Ed's ship has Izzy, Oluwande, Frenchie, Gentle Pete, Calico Jack and Anne Bonny

(But he doesn't start with them as his crew - instead they're crewmates serving under a Captain Hornigold)

Since Stede becomes captain earlier on, Jim kills Spanish Jackie's husband earlier on, so Olu doesn't think to run away with them cause he's a loveable dumbass, only leaving when Jackie gets suspicious of him

Gentle Pete is always going on about serving on The Gentlebeard Pirate's ship, how he looks like a white ghost with fabric for skin

in my OC world (made a Anne and Mary post bout this), Anne and Mary dump Jack before he enters ofmd ep 8, so this takes place in an alternate world where Anne and Jack met and married but they never met Mary

And so... the plot!!

Ed and crew are under Hornigold, and Ed finds himself as First Mate, despite everyone thinking he's incompetent

He does however end up convincing them there's another way to piracy (probably cause of Black Pete's Gentleman Pirate stories) and so they plan to mutiny

They end up running into a navy ship, and the crew's pissed off at Hornigold disguising themselves and refusing to fight, so nows the best time

Ed only planned on going into the cabin and tying him up, but in some crazy level of shenanigans, Hornigold ends up choking on rope, so Ed technically "kills" him

Although Hornigold was an abusive bitch who reminded Ed of his dad so whatevs (totally whatevs haha no guilt at all!)

Izzy, surprised but impressed by how smart Ed can be in his lutacrisy, convinces him to tell the crew he meant to kill him

And so Ed becomes Captain of The Queen Anne, and takes on Blackbeard as his moniker from Hornigold

Totally not haunted by the illusion of Hornigold with rope around his neck hahahah

Ep 2 and 3 happens the same way but with Blackbeard and crew: ship aground, hostages (two navy soldiers and their captain, called Chauncey Badminton ok yes i was that blacksmith you bullied but now im blackbeard so who got the last laugh now), and meeting someone named Lucius, who despite his lack of - well anything that makes him look intimidating - ends up taking a hostage from them and intimidating Ed, Olu and Pete with the help of Wee John... and Jim

Olu and Jim are surprised to see each other again but Jim leaves with their crew, Olu still whipped after all these years

Up to ep 3 now, Mary comes along after Lucius' recalling of the events to scare Ed in Spanish Jackie's bar, but is amused by Ed telling her the captain can fuck off

Izzy however was not here in this moment, so Ed learns from him oh - that was the first mate of The Gentleman Pirate! Ok!!

Anne is just like "don't worry captain, I can seduce her" "No, Bonbon, there's no need to do that" "You sure?"

All leads up to the Spanish ship, almost about to be killed by the Spanish, when a certain former aristocrat swings in to save the day

Stede: Blackbeard, I presume?

Ed, bleeding out and almost hung: the angel heard of me?

Stede: hardly an angel, but thank you :)

And so the show continues as normal, with some changes according to whatever you want to see happen

Lucius being the relationship counselor

"~ Stab me ~"

The bathtub, which could really be either one of them

Speaking of which, would Stede have an equivalent to a red silk 👁

So yes, everything follows the same storylines in ep 4, 5, and 6

up until the end of ep 6 ...

But with some notable differences:

Anne: Well, if it needs to be done -

Ed: You don't need to seduce the First Mate

Anne: It's OK Cap, I can take it

Jack is also here, hi. He's a bit of an ass, so like our shows Izzy

Izzy meanwhile is not like, soooo bad, cause in this au he hasn't had the years under Blackbeard to see him as a great pirate so he's fully aware he's in the Muppet genre

He's still not happy about it

Olu and Jim have a little bit more of a slow burn (but like og show blackbonnet's slowburn)

Lucius, I'm sorry I really am, is a bitch in this au (probably cause of his status as Gentleman Pirate's Scribe) and so him and Pete don't get along

Initially ;)

Anne is off seducing Mary, which in this au, since Mary didn't have that positive influence in Anne to tell her she's beautiful despite her past, is very cold, so it takes a bit

But not that long, Anne's a very smooth talker

Stede and Ed meanwhile are interesting:

Stede has his years as a confident pirate on a sex positive ship - Ed has his history as a man with a sex drive

So Stede's pulling out all the gentleman techniques like Ed stabbing him with a sword, and Ed is over here freaking out like "this must be just how he is... but what if it isn't... but what if it is... but what if it"

Fucking cranking up the sexual tension to a hundred!!!!

Now HERE'S the rub

Cause of the changes in the timeline, characters react differently to situations

Which means Izzy never challenges Stede at the end of ep 6 - what, he's the fucking Gentleman Pirate, he's not gonna get himself killed cause of Bonnet corrupting his Captain's (which he totally doesn't have a crush it must be envy) brain

But after a fatal accident with a whip, Stede has enough and tells Jack to get off his ship. Now.

So if we rewind the story for a little bit, just to fill in the gaps:

There's this lady named Spanish Jackie who's pissed off at this Pubic hairbeard breaking her nose jar

And this navy captain who has survived his kidnapping, heard rumors the blacksmith is prancing around with the pirate he swore killed his brother

And THEN this schmuck who's drunk 25/8 stumbles in saying he knows where both of them are

So now let's take a break, and talk about Ed:

Ed, who while "defeating" the ghost of Hornigold, is still haunted by the choice he made to leave his mother. He's sure she's alright, but he promised to protect her, to be the man in the house he dad never was!

So now we got ep 7, Stede this time trying to impress Ed

Ed, confused, finally learns from Lucius "Oh my god this is happening", and so they have their little moment

It's literally "what makes Ed happy" but with Stede and two episodes earlier

But yay they kiss!!!

However, ep 8 happens exactly as it does

I hate Izzy, so I think he finds out about CJ and the plan and let's it happen

So Jack leaves and gets Ed to leave, who is guilty as fuck about leaving his mom

In this universe, Stede would not be mopey and staring at them through a telescope -

- so he leaves with all the crew and ship

Our Ep 10

It's the reverse:

Stede is in the blanket fort, sad and wrapped up in his little robe and writing sad songs

Ed leaves Jack to go back to Bristol and be with his mom

So it follows the same beats, which of course includes...

Izzy probably says some bullshit about Ed leaving, after what this ponce managed to do to the great Gentleman Pirate, who's somehow more soft than what the pirates made him out to be, with how he pines for his boyfrie -

Which is when fucking Chauncey comes in

Stede, pissed as fuck and no longer feeling safe as he let down his Gentleman Pirate facade only for his heart to get broken and being reminded of his place as a outcast among piracy, a plague, not a human...

"ok then, I'm the bad guy. Also you should never turn your back while holding a sword."

and paperweights Chauncey

Bye bye navy ship and crew, probably burnt alive!

Bye bye Lucius and Izzy's toe!

And bye bye happy couples, gotta separate you by marooning half of you!

So now Mary, Izzy, Frenchie and Jim are part of the new Revenge crew

With their new Gentleman Pirate captain, with an all-black ensemble, white gloves and a hat with white lace hanging around his head like a veil

Back on Ed's side of things:

His mom is actually doing really well! She took over the blacksmith business and even got herself a boyfriend Jason Mamoa

Though because Ed comes back in unannounced after thinking he was dead ("Eddie, you said you were leaving to be a pirate"), there's tension between them

Ed is all talk of the town as Blackbeard, but he's clearly not happy with being back in his old life, even if Jack's here to get his mind off things

But him and his mom talk, and she tells him she just wants what's best for her son, and seeing him finally find somewhere he belongs is all she ever wanted for him

"Hey mum... I think I found my fine thing"

And so mother and son plan to fake son's death together, only for Ed to find out about CJ betrayal

Luckily the fake death goes off without a hitch and he manages to leave with just a dinghy and a red piece of silk, going to find his love <3

[red-crescent-marigold]

@kronosa113 requested the orange waistcoat (ep 2) and the sir godfrey thornrose coat (ep 5). here they are! as per the use, they are available under MA-3913-9754-5168.

[beeesworld]

Stede: Sir, Godfrey Thornrose. And this is...

Ed: Jeff... the accountant.

Frenchie: You know you can pick anythin', right?