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mochiwrites · 1 year

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it’s nearly 12am and I’m meant to be sleeping but I can’t so take some rambles while I grind for xp at this zombie spawner —

anyways, recovery is a weird and quite frankly fucking Wild path. it’s nonlinear and is different for everybody but wow is it crazy. when you’re living in a situation for multiple weeks, months, hell even years it’s so easy to forget things outside of your current situation.

and then you get out of it (because you always do, no matter how long it takes, you do get out of your shitty situation), you have to reteach yourself things, right??? because you could’ve been so lost in that haze of depression and stress that you forgot the little things, or your trying to adapt to some kind of new routine.

you get out of it and you’re like “well fuck. what am I supposed to do now? I put so much energy into xyz.” and it’s like. you need to completely rewire your brain.

it’s telling yourself that it’s okay to take baby steps. it’s telling yourself that the people you surround yourself do genuinely love and care for you. it’s telling yourself to find little things to love and appreciate because it’s those little things that are worth living for.

it’s also telling yourself that it’s okay to struggle. it’s also telling yourself that it’s okay if you mess up — recovery isn’t linear. it’s also telling yourself that you deserve the same kindness and respect that you extend to everyone else.

rewiring your brain is slowly learning healthier boundaries and ways of communication, and surrounding yourself with people who will help you grow for the better — even if it’s just by listening to you.

it’s also about going at your own pace. because everyone recovers at different speeds, and it isn’t a race. you’re allowed to take however long you need to heal, there’s no time limit.

and the craziest part is reteaching yourself things like habits. it’s pushing yourself to shower again, or to eat something, or drink water. reteaching yourself is climbing out of that hole depression put you in, but also using your resources to climb out. and yeah you may fall or stumble on the way up, but you always make it to the top.

recovery is wild

#momo rambles #sitting and reflecting on stuff #and Wow #recovery is weird and crazy #but man is it nice to look back at how far you’ve come #the fact that I was super fucking suicidal a year ago #and now I’m inching my way toward my best self #I’ve been in so many shitty situations in the past two years #and my own recovery has been all over the place #but idk man it makes me really happy to see how far I’ve come

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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months

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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

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kindheartedgummybears · 5 months

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you wanna know what??

I am

TIRED

of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!

I WANNA SEE A

WEREWOLF

WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!

I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!

I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!

AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF

D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !

#i am TIRED of seeing all these manly man werewolves that are all copy and paste white boys #I am TIRED of seeing all these woman werewolves being butch and masculine(also mostly white) or submissive!!!#I WANNA SEE SOME PLUS-SIZE WEREWOLVES I WANNA SEE SOME BLACK ASIAN LATINO MIDDLE EASTERN NON WHITE WEREWOLVES!!!!! THAT ARNT F3TIZIED!!!!!#I WANNA SEE A G I R L WEREWOLF THATS INTO “G I R L Y” THINGS!!!!! LET THE WEREWOLF BE A SLVT!!!!!#LET THE WEREWOLF BE IN THE TRADITIONAL CLOTHING OF ITS CULTURE!!!!#AND RIP AND TEAR AND MAUL AND CRY IN THE MORNING AFTER DOING ALL OF IT!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#no but fr can we werewolf fans like. actually sit down and reflect on the inherent misogyny of werewolves??? ESPECIALLY IN MEDIA #like. almost EVERY. SINGLE. WEREWOLF. in movies and shows and stuff are always a buff white man with anger and trust issues #and on the rare occasion that there *is* a woman werewolf shes always either over masculine or “weaker” than the “stronger alpha male” were #olf and only seen as a mate. AND shes always “calmer” and “maternal” and “calms the alpha male down🥺🥺”.AND she never has an actually good #werewolf form its always either wolf tail and ears or full wolf. or if it *is* actually a decent werewolf her transformation is offscreen.#like whyyyyyyyyyyyyy are people so scared to make women go ape shit?????? werewolves are NOT pretty creatures!!!! STOP MAKING THEM PRETTY!!#(lmao jk we know why they're so scared hashtag male gaze)#like yes. werewolves ARE pretty but not in the “dog show 30k$ poodle” kind of way i see some people making them(not that that's bad tho)#AND ALSO LIKE. ARE WE JUST GOING TO PRETEND WEREWOLVES LITERALLY WEREN'T MADE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES???#like. once a month someone turns into a raging bloodthirsty unstoppable beast driven by the moon and instincts with an insatiable hunger an #need to hide away from people due to them wanting to kill you or fearing you simply because you're a werewolf. they don't know you. they ju #t see you as a creature that might hurt them. constantly being hunted down to be killed simply for existing.#WHAT PART OF THAT SCREAMS: “ah yes. White man.”#IK theres going be people(men and pick mes) that see this post and think “this bitch is overreacting” and tbh idc.the girls who get it get #the girls who dont dont.#anyways shout out to Ginger Snaps trick or treat and every other piece of media or fan piece with disgusting non-f3tiszied woman/poc werewo #i love yall #*smooch smooch*#Werewolves #Werewolf #Lycanthrope #Lycanthropy #Werewolf AU #Yeah. Im tagging that too. I see yall.

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whentherewerebicycles · 2 months

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a bunch of people have already registered for my mentoring workshop! unfortunately this means i have to plan and host a workshop aaaaaa

#i want to think aloud through it on here at some point #but i think i am going to structure it around the theme of cultivating student autonomy #because i think one of the primary goals of mentorship is to prepare students to be self-directed learners who can set realistic goals +#evaluate their own progress + reflect on what they've learned and what they still don't know #+ take initiative without sitting around waiting for someone to tell them what to do next #so i think we will do some thinking around like #when we have a student we think of as really capable or driven what qualities and behaviors do we observe in that student #and maybe ill also share some of the research on intrinsic motivation + self-direction + locus of control #which i think is all really interesting esp in light of the contemporary College Mental Health Crisis concerns #and then we will look at a range of tools + structures + strategies that i think are useful for fostering student autonomy over time #and maybe leave them with some core principles/guiding values that i think are useful when you are trying to like #avoid jumping in and doing stuff for kids #or solving their problems for them #idk i need to think through specifics a bit more #but i feel like on this campus #people do a lot of 'workshops' that are really not interactive at all #it's just someone talking from slides #and i kind of want to show off my ability to structure more engaging workshops #but idk. gotta think about how to do it well #and how to build in lots of opportunities for like crowdsourcing strategies too

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definitelynotshouting · 9 months

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Do you have any tips for starting a story? The middle and end is easy (lie) but the beginning SUCKS to write sometimes

oh gods no joke openers are one of the hardest part for me. Theres so many ways a story can start, and it makes me CRAZY because that right there is your hook, thats what convinces people to start reading!!!!! And there are so many unique ways one can start, so it ends up feeling a bit like that one reaction image of the girl being handed so so many pancakes

I think for me, what i try to ask myself when sitting down to write an opener is: "what kind of story is this?"

Because each story needs something different to accomplish its goals. A slower story might want to take its time with setting the scene, while an action-packed one might start in media res and with a bang!!! I guess if i had to give advice i would say, take the time to identify what your story is trying to say, and then look at what different openings can do for you to identify that goal.

For example; this is from my fic when the night cries, which is essentially a ghost story:

This was meant to be an introspective story, with a very gentle pace overall, so i took the time to really set the scene, build up the sense of what we're looking at before we get dropped into the fic proper. I remember my thought process for this was: how can i make this unique??? how can i make it FEEL like one of those old paintings with the beautiful yellows and summery oranges, while giving the reader a sense of whats to come?? Adding in the repetition of "it begins" was a way for me to sorta hammer that home: this is the start. This is where the story originates. And in a technical sense, it hooks your attention, with the question and immediate answer within the narration. The intention here is for the reader to want to know why this is important, and now it's answering that, but still leaving gaps for more questions.

Now compare that to, say.... lost in the dark's opening:

The overall pace of hunger au is slow, but this opener isn't-- partially because it's a rough draft, but also because what i wanted out of this scene was a sense of deep, deep urgency. We're in the middle of action; Grian is physically running while he thinks, and i wanted the reader to feel hunted and uncertain with him. Dropping everyone in with Grian at one of his most frightened, shaken points was the best way i felt i could establish that scene, and throughout it i drop hints as to what's actually going on. He's scared. He thinks he's going to hurt people. He's been on the move for a very, very long time. These are all things that are meant to pique interest and get answered later, when the reader is already invested. And i guess in that regard, its really all about timing.

But yeah!! Rambling aside, i'd say try out a few different ways of opening your fic and see what works. Think of em as thumbnails; write maybe 200 or so words at most and see if something works better than something else. I think theres this secret culture of shame among writers for not putting the perfect start down on the page the very first time you open the doc, but it's super normal to have to workshop things around to your liking!!! There's absolutely nothing wrong with writing a few different openers to see what works best for you and your story, and in fact is something i genuinely recommend. Its good practice, and essentially functions as a warm-up!!! You also get the benefit of exploring new angles in a scene, which can sometimes unlock really cool stuff for your writing

Sorry for how long this is, anon!! Hopefully you find my rambling helpful :D thank you for sending in this ask!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #i could go on abt stuff like this for HOURS i go crazy for this sorta thing #also part of the reason chap 6 is taking so long is because i needed to redo the opening scene multiple times #before i realized i actually needed to shuffle the scenes around so they kept interest and good pacing!!!#basically: dont be afraid to just sit down and try looking at things from new angles #also smth i didnt mention bc its very specific to me: i picture things like theyre movies #so i often sorta reflect that pacing in my writing. i have a very vivid imagination so i can see actions and settings VERY clearly #and often what i do is i sorta look at the big picture #and decide okay do i want to start here??? and if i do i slowly zoom in via details until we cut to the actual start #OR. i immediately zoom in so we're seeing the character or setting element right away #so yeah. movie magic ig skfnejdjdjdk #hope this helps!!!!#edit: forgor long post tag #long post #txt

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vulpinesaint · 1 year

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mkay not to be like. a little insane or anything. but god i've been going crazy over religion (catholicism) and blood lately. did anyone else drink blood as worship every week since they were seven. was anyone else inundated with images of open wounds as holy. is anyone else consumed by the thought of holding onto a crucifix tightly enough for the edges of it to draw blood. i turned in a poem about drowning in communion wine in an empty church while bleeding from crucifix-inflicted hand wounds and trying to talk to god and my creative writing professor gave me extremely normal critiques i feel like i'm losing my mind

#is ANYONE ELSE here.#also i made my poetry insta and i was gonna backpost but i think i might just sit and stare at it until april sfkghsd #it's me and my few hundred tumblr followers on my poetry acc. and the five thousand pornbots on this one ig #life is so. like.#i CONSTANTLY think that being raised catholic didn't do that much to me but obviously it did SOMETHING #you know what. yeah. cause i didn't end up with guilt over being queer but i did end up having my whole world view torn away from me #cause when god is the fundamental building block to everything...#my parents were extremely reasonable about things all things considered #but losing trust and faith in god is like having the bottom block pulled out of your little tower #and since i was fifteen i feel like i've been trying to either get it out fully without letting it all crumble #or trying to push it back without causing more damage #and the tower's never gonna be the same no matter what. you know.#i suck at self reflection so i never actually think about this stuff but dear god does it consume me #like no i did not end up with catholic guilt really. however being asked to examine yourself as a sinner at 7 will do things to you #HATE myself why am i still awake. so fucking upset i need to be up so early tomorrow skdjfgh #screaming and crying. anyway anyone else up thinking about catholicism and blood???#valentine notes #catholic tag

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oatbugs · 1 year

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anyway this upcoming trip w my gf. will decide a lot i think

#travelling tgth can tell u a lot abt a person #my gf has quite strong anxiety #but nevertheless for me. i know i cant be rly in a relationship w someone who becomes like #irritable and panicked and clueless under pressure instead of looking at it like a fun challenge or an adventure #like genuinely the attitude of becoming snappy when travel stress hits is smth ive seen in my parents and i Cannot deal w it personally #ive been held up a lot at the border and ive been trapped in foreign countries cities w a dead phone at 4 AM etc #and somehow its always been an adventure esp when im w a friend w a similar outlook of like. omg this will be a good story to tell later #lets make the most of it let's sit on the beach or find a bar thats still open lets discuss smth we love until sunrise!!#anyway i know shes an anxious person but regardless of that being . not pessimistic and enjoying adventure and stuff #is so important to me in a person. it reflects not just on travel but abt how they will handle life later yk. what happens if our car #stops in the middle of the road? will you start freaking out about it? will you be calm through it?#so #well see #i hope it goes well i love her sm

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starlytenight · 5 months

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sorry if ive already asked this i forgot if i sent it in or not. is dark meta okay after the whole revival thing 😭 did he reform or did he stay dead? what about mirror galacta in that case? how is he feeling about dark’s apparent death and possible revival? theyre twinning now ig

Nah, no one's asked this but it's pretty safe for anyone to assume Dark Meta is fine, he's back too, he's just got his own version of rebirth where he's got perma-mirror cracks where Meta has scars and also lacks his own Warp Star. Shadow Galacta was also furious---in original scenes he was going to burst in and yell at everyone for daring to let the OG Meta die, but for constraints and focus reasons I cut this.

The other Morpho and Necro had their own things going on in the outside of Nightmare as well, so you can presume most things went down similarly. Kinda like this:

They went home once they saw regular Meta was fine, though that didn't stop the reflections from getting upsetti spaghetti over the end of days nearly happening sooner than expected because of sheer stupidity and melodrama. They cleared things up pretty quick though since the reflections are pretty chill once you kind of just accept that yeah, you do have that aspect of that self within and don't deny it or excuse it.

In later bits, like in the Allies Arc, Meta would have met with Dark Meta again and he would have absolutely been teasing him about the ordeal and how crappy he was at keeping in touch with his darker side despite basically being family with a bunch of Demon Beasts at this point---from there, he'd be helping him with the whole Jambandran issue and would have filled him in on his part of what happened where he fought his Morpho as well and dealt with the same shenanigans. Honestly they would be more chill and friendly at this point and greet each other like old pals.

After all, who else would better get you than yourself---even if he acts like you if you were stuck in your angsty teen phase?

#All is well don't worry the reflections are fiiiiine #They would only stir again with Allies because DMK and that's kind of a big deal with VT's rebirth and stuff causing an issue #Also by Allies Era/post Nightmare War Meta would have his Sigil I forgot to mention that #He got it fashioned since his little crew would rather keep staying with him than really branch out to the GSA specifically #So he just officially made his own division since it was very unofficial before lol #Though he's 'retired' they still seek him out for training and leadership/advice #Man can't sit still so he low-key still tries to run things to feel useful even if he shouldn't #Dark Meta is the saaaame way but cranked to 11 #ASMR Chitter Chatter #Starlyteart

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non-un-topo · 7 months

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Daily November crying sessions start today

#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week #all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol #like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie #sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f #rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal

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last-flight-of-fancy · 1 year

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Okay, minor realization from "Dark Road" that I thought I'd share. Hades was able to temporarily summon the dead upperclassmen to the Underworld from the Final World in order for Xehanort and Eraqus to talk to them about what happened. Hades can canonically get a hold of dead people who are in other afterlives. Looks like Goofy and Donald visiting him in the KH4 trailer might be a viable method of reach Sora in Quadratum after all.

hades definitely has a LOT more power than we initially thought way back in kh1. whether or not he can be convinced to lend his assistance is another story entirely though lol

personally i dont think it'll be as easy as just getting hades to snap his fingers and pull sora up on a crystal ball, and i dont think donald and goofy will be going to quadratum. access to the final world wasn't the only factor for riku's ability to go after all, but as always i'm ready and willing to be wrong; i want to see sora reunited with his dads too after all! they're definitely smart for trying hades, the amount of people in the universe able to get that far at all has to be startlingly small.

that being said even if i dont think D+G will be reality jumping themselves that doesnt mean i think their quest will be pointless. there's tons of potential in a subplot like that and i'm absolutely excited to see where it goes.

#i wanna see them reflect on their own role in sora's fall so bad #i wanna see them talk about how they were really trying to do their best by him and how they failed #mostly im sitting here like 'if hades can do THAT what else can he do that could be relevant to D+G's quest in particular' yknow?#MANY POSSIBILITIES and im excited about all of them #flights tag for replies and stuff #kingdom hearts

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cathalbravecog · 1 year

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I saw your message and I fully agree, I'm gonna be honest, this is literally the first time i ever ''humanize'' characters, because I'm also a big fan of how they already look like as robots (I mean the reason I got into corporate clash is because of the designs of the og managers in clash lol) I will always 100% prefer the managers as robots. (I love robots, they r so silly :) Like I said im mostly doing this for fun and also because I saw some people in the clash discord making their own human designs and it gave me some ideas (a lot actually)... Anyway here's my take on human cathal.

I made his little round things on the sides of his mouth (i forgor what they're called skull emoji) as headphones and i also gave him funky lil glasses that are similar to his og eyes...

So YEeAHHHhhh im gonna crawl back into my cave now

I LOVE THE IDEA OF HIS SCREEN EYES BEING FUNKY GLASSES!!! The headphones are clever too and honestly if Cathal didn't have a square TV head he's probably be wearing headphones anyway

And yeah things like this are fun especially joining in or if you're inspired! I remember I once made a human Bugsnak design after someone inspired me

Thank you for sharing :D

#And YES half of the reason why I got into TTCC again and why I hyperfixated were the designs #I'm a freak for character design and just. Characters in general so I went WACKY WACK #I... It's reflected in the way I make my OCS bc I put maybe TOO much effort in them to make them unique and fun and like.. Thoughtful #A bit jealous of people who just sit down and get a design done haha tho some of my best designs r fun ones made on the spot and just #Refined later #Cog I wonder how everyone in TTCC was designed... Like the design process #Like I wondered what kind of research they also did before making each character #Mostly when I was researching old phones for my Dama family stuff and seeing what exactly belle is based and even named after for example #Anyways that was my additional ramble of the day #[answered]#Multislacker #Not my art #<- figured I use a tag for that too

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youcanfacethis · 2 months

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Remember when I went to the rep pop up a few hours before Taylor decided to go and had just gotten home and got a twitter notification like…. the timing will never align for me!

#idk why I’m thinking about this #I was looking through old stuff and I posted something like ‘I feel like I’ll never be interesting enough for Taylor to want to meet me!#which holds true to this day #and now with m&g and rep room/t-party etc over I’m just…. feeling sad #but also to be a fan is not an all access pass to meet anyone ever I’m #I’m just reflecting rn #and gonna go watch tv #it’s been a bad Monday #but at least we get a new ts album this week!!!#I was approached on the street #earlier today about donating money to this guy via Apple Pay #and I wanted to help him out and now I’m sitting here in my head thinking oh this was a scam #somehow???#but it wasn’t? but the thought won’t leave my mind!#getting a new therapist when?#field notes #🗂️🗂️🗂️

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steakout-05 · 2 months

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photos of some of my old childhood plushies with a cute filter applied :)

2006 Shining Stars Unicorn plush - had ever since the same year it was made

Unidentified Calico Cat plush (possibly a Loblaws or Douglas plush) - had a similar one since at least 2006 or 2007 which disappeared, replaced with a gift from a friend in 2013. the original plush was likely an Aurora plush.

2001 Bestever Liontoons Plush - had since the day i was born

2002 Bedtime Care Bears plush - had since 2005 (it even came with a VHS tape included!)

#plush #plushies #stuffed animals #childhood toys #bestever #bestever plush #liontoons #shining stars #shining stars plush #calico cat #calico cat plush #cat plush #cat plushies #care bears #care bears plush #rare plush #rare plushies #rare toys #i love my old plushies and stuffies they're so cute #i have this big kangaroo plush with a pouch that i've had since at least 2006 #along with some bilbies (although they're more recent plushies)#these plushies are so old that they've lost most of their fluffiness and are kinda dirty #i should give them all a bath #i used to have this HUGE unicorn plush that was kinda more like a bean bag #it was dark purple and it had these reflective holographic wings and horn made of like this thin plasticy foil stuff #and it had these blue plastic eyes that kinda looked like the ones on my care bears plush #and by huge i mean it was like. bigger than me #my parents have an old photo of me as a super young child sitting on top of it like it was a really big plush #i'll see if i can find a photo of it anywhere but i doubt i'll be able to since idk the brand and it's a really broad search #if i can ask my parents to find the photo then i'll post a cropped version with just the toy itself so you can see what i mean

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bylertruther · 1 year

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WAIT i want to complain one last time before i go to bed 💙 smth smth letting the demons out so u can have sweet dreams or whatever after, u kno. ahem. anyway.

girls when their dash is dying and they don't particularly enjoy the direction fandom is headed in bc unfortunately this fandom does move and act like a hegemony / hivemind a majority of the time and the canon compliant content that they do enjoy n look forward to is scarce but it's not like they can even go back to their personal blog for the time being because succession is literally ending forever in three days and hotd is currently filming yes but the tag for 2/3 of their fave characters is literally all either a ship they hate and/or character x reader smut fics and also it's depressing as fuck and the other media content that they enjoy is equally as fucked up which means they'd have no lighthearted Love Conquers All content in their rotation which isn't exactly good and and and—