#sitting there at grandmas for thanksgiving with this in my head trying to act like a normal ass adult

[playertwotails]

Okay so thinking about Sonic Frontiers scenes again and definate spoilers ahead.

Before Sonic leaves Ares Island he stops and talks to Knuckles

(Screen shots from Sirlion on youtube cause I don’t wanna replay the whole game for this one screen grab right now)

When Sonic says how worried about Tails he is, they don’t show his eyes at all and that is clearly a very deliberate decision on the devs side. And for a sec when I first saw this I wasn’t sure why...then I saw Knuckles reaction

 Knuckles looks kinda shocked at what expression he sees on Sonic’s face here. Sure right after he starts grinning, tells Sonic, Tails will “be alright” and immediately starts teasing him again. But he still had that second of shocked pikachu going on here.

I think Sonic was looking furious when he said this, like beyond pissed, and Knuckles had that moment of “oh he mad mad right now” when he looked at Sonic. A state of anger they rarely see him in. They’ll see him determined and upset but rarely do they see an actually angry Sonic.

And Sonic being mad would make sense. Up to this point Sonic has found Amy and Knuckles (who he didn’t know was even there) but his little bro’ has yet to be found. And the whole time he’s asked his two found friends what their digitized states were like while they were trapped and both tell him their less than pleasant experiences stuck like that...and he still hasn’t located Tails or know if he’s even okay.

So now, he’s just thinking about how he still at this point has no idea where Tails is, his friends relay to him a terrible time stuck in cyberspace, and Tails has now been stuck in there alone maybe the longest time now (we have no idea how long Knuckles was stuck for though so Tails might be in second place on this). Sonic just has no idea what kinda state Tails may be in or how cyberspace is affecting him.    

Plus he’s been constantly blocked by Sage from getting answers, he’s starting to be in pain (or numb and brain fog? both??), and he still doesn't know if what he’s doing is even helping to save his friends. Sonic’s also not known for his patience and I think here it’s really starting to run out cause he’s found all this other info but nothing on where Tails is.

Idk this is just how I read that scene let me know if ya’ll think of anything else I love theories and analysis’.

[fbfh]

thankful for my (found) family - demisquad + reader thanksgiving special

2.4k

platonic everyone + reader, implied future/potential leo x reader if you look real close, thalia has a girlfriend that I had to make up bc they never mention hunters of artemis but go off rick, calypso is not included bc she acts more like an antagonist imo, gif doesn’t have anything to do with it besides nostalgia lmao

happy thanksgiving <33

You and Leo are cooking in the kitchen 

You have been all day

The doorbell rings, and Annabeth goes to answer, binder full of travel plans in hand

“That should be-”

Clarisse enters with a loud greeting and a hug to everyone in arms reach

Percy’s loud cheers echo from the living room as he calls out the new score of the football game he’s keeping everyone updated on

She drops her bag, hopping over the back of the couch to watch with Percy

“Woah woah, catch me up Jackson! What'd I miss?”

Hazel is helping Rachel make cute diy table settings and party favors 

Rachel, as with most art projects she takes on, is very focused on making it Martha Stewart levels of cute and amazing 

Frank and Piper are keeping everyone updated on the parade 

Frank pops down the stairs, calling out, “The last performance just ended, the dog show starts in 5!”

Hazel drops what she's doing and exclaims, “THERE’S A DOG SHOW?!” 

She runs upstairs to watch with Frank, her yellow dress swishing behind her

You chuckle, calling over to Annabeth as you mix batter in a bowl, " Hey Annabeth, how are the travel plans looking?"

She shuffles through some papers in her binder

"Magnus and Alex had another layover, but they should still be able to make it in time. Thalia and her hunter friend will be here in 10, and Travis's flight got delayed because of a sudden snow storm."

"Really?" You reply, "This time of year? That's pretty ironic for a son of Hermes..."

"I know, I'm looking at some shuttle services to see if that would be faster…" Annabeth replies

Nico enters, stealing a couple appetizers, "This is so stupid, I could just go get him."

Will, right behind him, eats the appetizer Nico hands him and replies, "No you can't. Doctors orders."

Nico starts to protest 

Will shoots him a look 

"Boyfriend's orders."

Nico tries in vain to stare him down,  "… Va’ a farti fottere." he says, cracking a smile

"Love you too," Will counters 

You and Leo shoo them out of the kitchen before they steal more of your recipes

Jason and Grover walk by with a bunch of pillows and blankets, setting up guest rooms. 

Grover calls through the pile of fluff he's carrying, "Hey, we're gonna need a few more pillows-"

Jason, over his pile of bedding, corrects, "A lot more!" And Annabeth runs over to help carry some of the blankets he's about to drop

"-A lot more pillows…"

You grab your keys

"okay uh… Grover, do you want to head to the store to get some more pillows-"

Leo, vigorously sautéing something adds over his shoulder, "And basil! And, uh… red wine vinegar, olive oil, and potatoes."

You rip a piece of paper off the notepad on the fridge and scribble a quick list 

You're probably going to need some more ice, too 

Tyson, very distressed, holds up an empty container of mellowcream pumpkins, declaring, "THERE'S NO MORE BABY PUMPKINS!" :(

you loudly add candy pumpkins to the list

Rachel approaches. 

"Are you going to the store?"

"Yeah," you reply, "how's crafting going? You need anything? "

"We're almost out of glitter and mod podge. It's not looking good. We could use some more fake leaves, warm toned glitter, and rhinestones - the nice ones."

Grover looks slightly lost 

You narrate as you add to the list, "Fancy rhinestones, mod podge, fake leaves, red, yellow, orange, and brown glitter…"

Tyson, still distressed, yells, "AND BABY PUMPKINS!"

:(

You hold up the paper, "Already on the list, bud, Grover's gonna get them!"

"What if he gets the wrong kind?" Tyson asks 

You, turn to Grover quietly, "Grover, can you take Tyson?"

Grover nods

"Hey Tyson, Grover has a lot of stuff to get, could you go be his shopping buddy? That way you can pick out the right baby pumpkins."

He doesn't look convinced

He wants to keep working on a secret project he’s been doing out by the garage

"And…" you add, sweetening the deal, "you can get two candies for the way home."

He agrees

You turn to Grover; "I'll call you guys an uber-"

"I'll drive."

You all turn around, shocked to see Reyna awake. 

You thought she was still passed out 

She showed up at 9am and immediately fell asleep from traveling all night 

"Reyna, hi! Are you sure-"

"We'll be fine, I need to stretch my legs a little." She proves by rolling her shoulders

"Okay, as long as you're sure," you hand her the paper, re-entering the kitchen

She takes the paper from your hand as you shut off the beeping timer and grab a pair of oven mitts from the drawer

Reyna examines the paper, "...This is a weird list. Where are we supposed to get all this?"

Leo moves to the side as you pull out the rolls from the oven, using tongs to set them on a wire cooling rack, "Maybe target?"

Leo, still very focused on cooking, announces, "If you get me generic brand spices I will burn this place to the ground."

"O-kay," you turn back to Reyna, laughing, "there's a Wegmans and a Joanne's right next to the TJ Maxx, you can probably find everything there."

"We'll be back within the hour." She states, taking your keys. 

Rachel meets her at the door. "Here, use my card. Also, make sure you get the flat backed swarovski crystals. And please pick some glitter with a nice color shift!"

You remind them to call or text with any questions and be safe

Heading back into the kitchen, you fill up a big bowl with carrots, celery, cucumbers, and mushrooms

You grab two cutting boards, knives, peelers, and a plastic bag for the peels, tips, and tails

You set it all down on the coffee table in front Percy and Clarisse

“Can you guys get the relish tray started?” 

They agree, and immediately return to yelling at the referee

You shake your head laughing, and head back to the kitchen

“How we looking, Sparky?”

“Stuffing cups just went up in the oven, pie crust dough is chilling, and the green beans are almost done sauteeing. Rolls are cooling - could you stir the cranberry sauce? - and… the turkey is going up as soon as the stuffing is out.”

You stir the sauce as you continue talking

“Great! We’re making good time so far. Oh, I found a recipe for brown sugar pie, which Frank requested - apparently it’s a Canadian Thanksgiving thing - so I figured if you’re doing turkey I can handle the pies.” 

He pours some cooking wine into the pan, and shakes it as the alcohol burns off

“Sounds like a plan, babycakes.” 

You laugh at the nickname, and grab butter, salt, some herbs, and a stick blender to finish the potatoes

A few minutes later, you hear the door open 

Reyna and the boys are back already? That was quick

You wonder if they need help bringing groceries in

“Eeeey get over here you knucklehead!” 

Bags drop, and you hear Jason laughing in protest

You poke your head out of the kitchen, and see Thalia with Jason in a headlock

In spite of the fact that he’s about half a foot taller than her, she’s still noogie-ing him, pretending she can’t hear him objecting through his laughs

She finally lets him go, greeting everyone as he adjusts his glasses

She bear hugs Annabeth, punches Percy in the arm, and high fives and hugs pretty much everyone else

You run up the stairs to the guest room Grover was setting up before he left

You finish making the bed head back down, meeting Frank and Hazel on the way 

"Oh, Hazel, what did you think of the dog show?"

"It blew my wig!" She says giddily 

A confused smile settles on your face

"It was awesome and she loved it," Frank translates smoothly

He and Will are understandably best at deciphering 40s slang

Thalia is introducing everyone to Amber, a girl she’d met on the hunt and become really close with

You greet her, and turn to Thalia

“Your room is all set up if you wanna get settled in,” you turn to Amber, “and yours will be ready soon,” 

They share a look

“Oh,” Thalia starts grabbing their bags, “that’s fine, we can share a room. We share a tent on the hunt all the time, right Ambie?”

"Oh,”

And then it clicks

“yeah, however you’re comfortable.”

You grab one of the bags, and help them upstairs

“Why don’t you guys take a while to settle in, I’ll tell the others you’re resting.”

They thank you, and you start to leave

“By the way,” you poke your head back in, “you two seem really cute together. Welcome to the family, Amber.” 

She blushes and Thalia gives you an appreciative look

You nod and head back down

You let the others know they’re going to nap for a little while, and not to wake them up

“Hey, any travel updates?” You ask Annabeth, on your way back into the kitchen

“Alex just texted, she and Magnus are finally on their way, should be here in the next few hours. As for Travis…” 

She holds out her phone, showing you Travis’s tiktok

He’s filming the mirror in the airport bathroom

“So uh, my flight’s delayed, I’m bored, I’m gonna fuck with some people,” he holds out a hand full of stickers that look like outlets

He records himself putting them around the airport, then gets people’s reactions when they try to use them

He ends the video asking for more prank ideas

You look back up at Annabeth, holding back a laugh, “Seems like he’s doing okay,” 

“Oh,” she replies, “that’s not all.”

She scrolls up, showing the next prank video where Travis goes around the airport having fake phone conversations to get people’s reactions

Conversation topics including ‘I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but slept with your grandma’, ‘hey bro I can’t come to the party, also turns out I’m going to be your stepdad’, ‘hey dude remember that old lady we used to cat sit for? Well, I found out I got chlamydia from her, so…’, and ‘yeah man, I’m so excited for the poetry slam. Also, it turns out my jazz fever is actually syphilis.’. 

Your hand flies over your mouth, trying not to laugh loudly enough to wake Thalia and Amber

“Yeah,” Annabeth says, fighting her own laughter, “he’s doing okay.”

You start putting together ingredients for pie filling

“That is the most in character thing I could have imagined,” you laugh, and Annabeth shows Leo the videos

“There’s a bunch more, too,” she adds, “Around making tiktoks, he found a bus heading this way. He’ll be here in a few hours.” 

“Cutting it close,” you muse, filling pies, “I’m glad he’s not stuck at the airport though. How about Connor?” 

“Haven’t heard much from him, but he said he'll be here in time for dinner."

A little while later, Thalia and Amber re enter, joining Percy and Clarisse in the living room 

The door opens shortly after, and Tyson enters, arms full of containers of candy pumpkins 

Reyna and Grover are right behind him

You take Grover's bags, announcing that Thalia got here a little while ago

He bleats excitedly and runs to hug her, Reyna right on his heels

Piper and Tyson bring in the rest of the groceries

Tyson sets down the last bags in the kitchen, looks out the window, yells, "IT'S ALMOST SUNSET!", and runs back out into the back yard, presumably to finish his mystery project 

Everyone eventually makes their way to the living room, nibbling on appetizers and watching classic Thanksgiving specials 

The food is almost done, all that's left is decorating the pies and a little tidying up 

You walk over to Leo, placing your hand on his shoulder 

He looks up at you

"Why don't you go take a quick shower and change before dinner," you muse, knowing the hoodie and jeans he's been cooking in all day isn't the outfit he'd picked out, "I'll wrap things up in here,"

He thanks you, dramatically presses a kiss to your forehead, and exits the kitchen 

You decorate the pies distractedly, catching the doorbell right before the second ring 

You smile at the people about to enter

"Annabeth," you call, "Magnus and Alex are here!" 

She drops what she's doing, and runs over to greet them 

Leo is back down stairs a short while later 

His brick red hoodie replaced with a burgundy one - his fancy hoodie as he calls it - a heavy flannel layered on top, and a beanie pulled over his almost dry hair

His pyrokinesis makes you forget how cold he gets sometimes 

You're about to go upstairs to change out of your cooking clothes when Tyson enters dramatically 

"The surprise is done!"

Everyone files outside to see what Tyson made as he leads you all out to the garage 

Perfectly attached to the side, is a very small horse stable 

"Wow!" Percy starts, "Great job, dude!"

Tyson is beaming as he's showered with confused praise 

"So uh," Percy ventures, "what did you build it for?"

"Maybe something like this?!" Descending voices declare in unicen 

Travis and Connor land in front of you on no other than Blackjack

Everyone erupts into cheers

“I thought you were stuck at the airport! What about those tiktoks?”

“Saved in my drafts, baby!” Travis laughs

Percy greets Blackjack and everyone else heads back inside with Travis and Connor 

You run upstairs to shower quickly and change, and are back downstairs just in time for appetizers and drinks 

You're about to take a sip of coffee when the door opens 

An irregular set of footsteps echoes into the room, along with a familiar voice 

"Ah, children, I hope there's room for one more," 

Everyone turns in surprise as Chiron enters the room 

After lots of warm excited greetings and making sure he has a warm cup of tea, he settles in to chat for a while

"I was on my way to meet with my more, ah, rambunctious cousins, but I couldn't let a day like today pass without stopping by."

After two cups of tea and lovely conversations, Chiron heads out to meet up with the other party ponies 

Thalia, Percy, and Will get all the food on the dining room table while Rachel makes the finishing touches to the centerpieces 

Everyone finds their seat, and you make the first toast

"I think I can speak for everyone when I say I'm thankful for you guys - my found family."

Every glass is raised

You can all drink to that. 

[maisondenachtai]

Thanksgiving at Home (The Re-Up)

plot: a loving shot at my family through the eyes of Chris Evans and Reader.

a/n: ....I’m stupid. Thanks anon who told me that Boston was not in Maine. ...i feel like an idiot.

               “No. It’s your turn.”

               You couldn’t deny it. It was an absolute fact that according to the terms of your agreement that it was, in fact, your turn.

               In the beginning of your relationship, which had started three years ago, holidays had always been a source of frustration. He was from the north, Massachusetts, and you were from the south, Georgia. You wanted to see your family, and he desperately needed to hug his mom.

               So, you decided to split the holiday, you would go home to Georgia and he would go back to Massachusetts. After that first year, you would flip flop who you spent holidays with. That meant that the next year you spent Thanksgiving in Boston with him, and Christmas at home in Georgia with your mother and Sister.

               So yes, that meant it was your turn to spend Thanksgiving with your family. But that didn’t mean you had to be happy about it.

“Seriously, we don’t have to do Thanksgiving in Georgia. I’ll take Christmas again. It’s nicer.” You were sitting on the bed, looking at his half-packed suitcase, Dodger laying next you, his eyes moving to and fro watching his Dad pack a bag of clothes.

“If I wasn’t sure that you loved me, I’d really think you didn’t want me in Georgia.” He looked back at you, a smirk on his handsome face. “You got an old boyfriend you don’t want me to meet there.”

“A? Many. And who said they were old boyfriends. Maybe I’m still seeing them.” You smirked back at him. You couldn’t help but fall into games with your man, even though you were far from light and joyous.

“Watch it.” He pointed at you with a mock serious look on his face. “I hate to have to fight them.”

“I doubt you could take them.” You looked up in the air. “One was a football player; he’s actually playing for the Falcons now.”

Chris looked back at you, a white button down in his hands. “Are you serious?”

You nodded, “Oh yeah. He actually sends me tickets from time to time. There’s actually a game on thanksgiving! Maybe we should go. I’ll send him an email.” You stood up, to grab your laptop.

“Y/n, so help me, I will throw that piece of tin out of the window.” He said, a smile threatening to burst onto his serious face. “Stop fucking with me.”

“I’m not. We should go to a game. We’re going to be in Atlanta anyway. …you know unless we go to Boston.”

Suddenly his eyes lowered and he shook his head, folding the shirt in half and walking towards his open luggage. “Dodger.”

The dog barked softly.

“Tell your mom that she’s got to try a lot harder to get one over on me.”

You rolled your eyes, flopping back onto the bed. You laid back and Dodger took this change to take a position on your stomach, making himself comfortable. “This is so stupid.”

“I mean, you know we bought the tickets, already right? So, the time for you to try all of this plan changing would have been a month ago.” He sat next to you running his hand over Dodger’s body. “And you were so fucking excited. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. …Nothing. I’m just nervous.”

“Why? I’ve met your family.”

You sat up, making sure to do so slowly so Dodger could adjust himself accordingly. “You’ve met my Sisters, their boyfriends, and her mom. Not my family.”

Chris looked at you, “I’m failing to see the problem. So we do some introductions and get to know each other? What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal Christopher Robert Evans-“You had hopped up, Chris grabbing Dodger before you flung him towards in the wall in your movement.

“Ooh Dodger, she used the government name. She’s serious.”

You tried hard not to smile, but couldn’t stop the thing from breaking your serious expression. “Stop it. I’m serious.”

“I know.” He smiled at you, and then rolled his hand around as if to say continue. “Come on lay it on me.”

“I’m from Georgia.”

His eyes shifted from side to side, as if the answer to his confusion was in the room. “I’m from Massachusetts…so what?”

“No, you don’t get it. I’m from Georgia…not Atlanta. My family is from Georgia. There’s a difference.”

In silence of the moment, Dodger slipped out of Chris’ arms into the living room. Chris folded his arms, looking at you.

“…If I get what you’re being obtuse about. You’re trying to say that you don’t want me meeting your overall wearing, one tooth, inbred, backwoods cousins.” He had that smirk again. You wanted to both kiss him and wipe it off of his face.

“Hey! None of my cousins are any of that.”

“Okay then, so what’s the problem.”

               You sighed and sat down, and he pulled you closer to him. You placed your face in his neck, his gold chain pressing slightly against your nose.

“I’m not embarrassed by them…” You said a little muffled by his body. “I just want to say that.”

“Okay… I’m listening.”

You sighed again, pulling back from him. “…It’s just…like…okay. Your family, like the house was put together and everyone was sitting around the table. We passed plates and it was all very nice.”

“Okay, and at Christmas at your mom’s we sat around the table and we didn’t pass plates but no one needs to do that. It was nice too.”

“But it’s not going to be like that at Thanksgiving Chris. Most of my immediate family will be there. The table we at for Christmas will be covered in food. We’re going to walk around the table buffet style, and everyone’s going to sit around the house, wherever they can fit. There will be no real plates, no real spoons. There’s probably going to be a kids area that will be messy.”

“Kids are messy everywhere baby.”

“I’m not done. There will be foreign foods. Oxtails, and chitterlings. Dressing…not stuffing.”

“That’s the same thing.”

“It is not!” You shook your head. “It’s totally different. There are going to be several things going on too. My uncle is going to sit in the middle of the room, with tequila, a lime, and he’s going to tell stories we’ve all heard 18 million times. He’s going to curse and we’re all going to be annoyed. My younger cousins are going to sneak out of the house, stand in a huddle behind the house and smoke weed, and talk about us old folks. My grandma is going to get drunk on Sparkling Cider, and probably try to flirt with you, and you better flirt back Chris.”

He chuckled then rubbing your back, “Of course I will. Now are you-“

“And I haven’t even told you about Spades.”

“Spades?” He found your eyes. “Like the card game.”

“Yeah. Spades goes down at Thanksgiving, and it is SERIOUS Chris. It’s like war, but less civilized.”

He rolled his eyes and stood up walking back into the closet, “You’re being dramatic now.”

“I’ve seen my cousin pull a gun out on somebody who reneged. I SEENT IT.”

“So okay, I won’t play spades.”

“What? And look like a bitch in front of all my cousins. You’ll never live it down. They’ll be at our wedding giving a toast like, ‘Hey Chris is a cool white dude, but he still a bitch cause he won’t play Spades with us’. I don’t want to be the cousin who married a white dude who won’t play spades. I can’t do it. I’ll be the black sheep.”

Chris gripped your shoulders, forcing you to look up at him. “Breathe baby.”

And you did.

“Again. Good and deep.”

And you did again.

“You feel better?”

You did, so you nodded.

“Good. Now, I’m saying this because I love you.” He grabbed your shoulders and shook you back and forth. “You’re acting like a nut.”

“I know. I know.” You said when he let you go. “I just want them to like you.”

He kissed your forehead. “They will like me. I mean how could they not first of all?” He grinned at you making you roll your eyes. He smoothed his hand down the side of your face, “And even if they don’t like me right away, they’ll grow to like me. And if they don’t…” He kissed you softly, soundly. “It doesn’t matter. I love you. You love me. And that’s all that matters. Okay?”

You closed your eyes, nodding. “Okay.”

“Say it.” He commanded gently.

“I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters.” You opened your eyes and your irises met his, you felt calmer.

“Good.” He smiled. “Now pack, boarding is at 8.”

--

               Atlanta never failed to take your breath away. It was so familiar, yet every time you returned there was always something new being built or done. You pointed out so many spots that you wanted to see before you returned to Los Angeles, and Chris made sure to note them all down on his phone wanting you to enjoy your time home as much as you could.

               After your father died, your mother decided that the deep south had nothing to offer you and your sisters anymore and decided to uproot you from all that you knew. Suddenly you were nearly two hours from the bulk of your family, living in a suburb of Atlanta that you knew no one in. It wasn’t your home at first, but eventually you had come to love Atlanta as much as you loved your little small town in Southern Georgia.

               As you came closer to your neighborhood you began to point of places of significance.

“There used to be this spot right there. Oh my god, they used to have the best hot wings. Like everyone tends to rave over American Deli, but they had better wings than anything I’ve ever tasted.” You said as you passed a spot that was under construction.

As you passed through the opening of the subdivision of your neighborhood, you smiled and pointed at the sign. “The neighborhood kids all used to hang around that sign. I had my first real kiss right there.”

Chris raised one of his eyebrows, “Real kiss?”

You smirked, “Tongue.”

He chuckled. “How old were you?”

“13.”

“Weak. I was 12.”

“Lie.”

“It is not a lie.”

“Chris, you’re about to pass it.”

“Shit!” He pressed on breaks, making you skid slightly to a stop a few inches away from your house.

               There were cars parked along the side of the road, a few on the grass without care to your mom’s poor lawn. You figured you’d be a little late, traffic was heavy, the airport had been busy of course, but …this was a Black family thanksgiving. 1 meant 3, not 2:30.

“Fuck. We’re walking right into it.” You said, sighing.

“Will you calm down? It’s fine. I’m fine. You’re definitely fine.” He waggled his eyebrows a little making you smile and then really smile when his eyes traveled down your white knit sweater dress covered body to the camel colored knee-high boots that he nearly begged you to wear.

You reached over and adjusted the collar of his white cable knit crew neck under his camel colored jacket. He wore a pair of khaki trousers, that you thought gave him an air of formal to go with his more casual upper attire. “You’re pretty fine too.” You smiled and leaned over to kiss him-

Thump.

But you jumped instead when your sister appeared at your window, somehow sneaking up on you. You rolled your eyes, sighing and rolling down the window.

“Hello Cassie.”

“Hello Y/n.” She grinned. “Hey Chris, I’m so happy my sister is no longer hiding your beauty from the world.”

“Hey Cass. Glad to see you again.”

“Glad to see you too.” She smirked.

You thumped her forehead, “What did I say about flirting with my boyfriend?”

“Don’t do it when you’re around?” She joked.

“Wrong, you little bitch.”

She laughed.

You grinned too. “Where’s Falen?”

“Feeding Cam. He’s so chunky.”

“I can’t wait to hold him.” You smiled at Chris. He grinned back at you. You had been talking about kissing all over your nephew for a month now.

“Well if you stop hiding in this…very nice car. You can. Come on Chris, everyone is really excited to meet you.”

               And just like that you were following behind your boyfriend and your little sister into what could be a doomed thanksgiving from hell. You nervously followed them into the house, not joining in on the conversation as Chris and Cassie talked about politics. Turning without much fuss, as Chris took off your duster and hung it in the closet, doing the same with his jacket.

You only followed numbly as you walked through the opening to your home, heart beating faster as the sounds of your family got louder. Just as it was at it’s peak, you gripped Chris’s hand, stopping in your tracks therefore stopping him.

He looked back at you, Cassie kept walking still somehow talking about how Biden was not the President we wanted or needed. You looked up at him, not able to say anything only looking up at him with wide eyes.

His lips were on your forehead quickly, placing three kisses in succession, one there, then your nose, and finally your lips. Silently he reassured you that things would be fine, and together you stepped through the threshold into your family room.

               Gatherings could be a lot for you. In a lot of the memories of the gatherings attended by you in your youth, you could only remember being a fly on the wall. Choosing to instead be passive instead of active like your sisters and your cousins. You weren’t anti-social, but you felt more comfortable laughing at the jokes then trying to tell them.

As you grew it got a little better, but you never felt quite comfortable in big group of people. In fact, after an event such as this one, you often needed to sleep for a long time. When you told Chris this before your first Thanksgiving with his family, he admitted to being kind of the same. He might not need to sleep after a big event, but he wasn’t quite the social butterfly either. It made you happy that he understood when you had to excuse yourself from drinking eggnog with the family late into the night. It made you even happier when he told you the next morning that his family understood too.

               With your family it was much of the same, your family understood that you weren’t the loudest and most of the time they were too busy being loud themselves to need you to be just as loud as them. It was just enough for you to be there sharing in the love of the family.

But not this time.

This time all the attention was on you and it was time to speak up.

               “So, Chris…where did you two meet?” The slight drawl of your Aunt cut through the sounds of The Temptations singing Silent Night, a favorite of your mom’s anytime of year…obviously.

“Uh, she…I mean Y’N was a consultant on a movie I was doing. I saw her and she was too beautiful for me not to get to know. So I asked her out for coffee.” He smiled at you then. “She said no.”

“You said no?” One of your male cousins, Taylor, called out. “Shiiit, if I was a girl I would have jumped on his ass.” He sucked his teeth. “Hell, shit, I’d jump right now. He got hella money.”

The room erupted into laughter and all of sudden the ice was broken. Chris was no longer an interloper…well he was, but he was no longer covered in plastic. He could be touched, he could be handled, he could be interwoven into the group.

You sighed, a little of your worry dissipating.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad.

                 To his credit, if anything was making him feel uncomfortable, he was taking it in stride. Chris had enjoyed when all your little cousins came up to him and asked him questions about Captain America, and asked if he was always Captain America or just on TV. You could tell because when he smiled, his face creased. He even did a few poses for them, which they loved.

When one of your cousins, Devontae, came over to Chris with a bottle of something clear and a smile you knew that this one would be a little harder. But again, he took it in stride as Devontae pitched him an idea of a TV show with talking Weed Plants, kind of like Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Chris simply smiled through it, shaking his head when you made eyes at him obviously getting the message that you could save him if he wanted you to. After Devontae walked away needing to captivate the attention of at least 5 other people in the room.

He was considerably more relaxed in a group of the male cousins you had grown up around. They had formed a sort of semi-circle, Chris in the middle with a long neck beer in his hand, nodding at what ever George had to say.

“Chris is doing good.” Falen said, leaning over slightly, adjusting Camden’s bib while he was in your arms.

“Yeah. He’s really fitting in.” You smiled and then cooed at Cam bouncing on his knee. “I want to take him home.”

“He’s yours. I’ll sign the papers today.” Falen joked. “So, it’s serious then.”

“What?”

“What?” Falen mimicked you, rolling your eyes reminding you of yourself. “You and Chris.”

“You know it’s serious Fay.” You mom chimed in. “She brought him home.”

“I brought him to Christmas last year.”

“Thanksgiving is different and you know it.” Your mom said pointing her wine glass in your direction.

“I told him that.” You mumbled, looking down at Camden who only looked back up you with sweet innocent brown eyes.

“Well I’m glad you are trying to lock him down. You two match, you know.” Falen grinned.

“And the matching outfits were just the right touch.” Cassie chimed in smirking at you.

You flipped her off, discreetly. Your grandma was still in front of you…although already sleeping.

“Shut up Cassie.” Falen chuckled. “Seriously. …I think he might propose soon.”

You chuckled shaking your head, “Nah. I don’t think so.”

Falen grinned, “If you say so little sis.” She patted her knee and then looked around. “Ma! When’s the food going to be ready. You said 1!”

“You know that means 3. Don’t get brand new in front of Chris.” You smirked.

               The spread of food was glorious. A beautiful turkey, a delicious ham from Honeybaked Ham cause no one had perfected the art of making a good ham, a huge pan of cornbread dressing collectively called dressing, two pans of Macaroni and Cheese cause one pan never survived your family’s greedy hands, turnips, collard greens and cabbages, cornbread muffins, hoe cakes, yams with marshmallow topping (your Auntie’s one and only dish that tasted okay), and a plate of various pieces of fried chicken. But none of this would be complete without your mother’s potato salad.

It was a feast to end all feasts. A dinner you dreamed about. You would have cried if it wouldn’t have made you look crazy. Chris held two thick paper plates, one for him and one for you, while you held Cam who you were never going to give back. You patted the baby’s back, he had just had a bottle full of milk thickened with a little baby rice, a special treat for Thanksgiving (it was your grandma’s idea).

“Come on little Cam, burp. Chris, more dressing. That’s not enough. It’s gotta be nearly half the plate. And you gotta put the cranberry sauce on top.” You said.  It was comical to watch Chris hold his plate, your plate, and also try to ladle dressing onto a plate.

“Here.” You chuckled holding out Cam. “You hold my new baby. And I’ll make our food.”

“No, wait. I need to ask your sister if I can hold him first.” He said looking around for Falen.

“It’s fine, you won’t drop him cause if you do I’ll kill you.” You smirked at him.

“I need to wash my hands.”

You rolled your eyes, “Now who’s acting like a nut.” You took one plate from him then the other sitting them down and then walked into his personal space. He opened up for you almost cradling you and Cam.

“Now I know you have held a baby before, so don’t freak out now.” You handed him off to Chris and he instantly held the Camden in his arms, supporting him as Cam settled in the crook of his neck. You looked at the sight, your man holding a little brown boy, and you could almost imagine that Camden was your baby.

Your stomach flip flopped, and you gnawed down on your lip at the sight.

Chris smirked, knowing exactly what was on your mind. “Make the food.”

“I am. I am.” You chuckled, not daring to look at any of your family members.

“Ohhhhh, we’re making plates now. Okay, Y’n!” Julie, your Aunt’s daughter called out, making you chuckle in embarrassment.

Making plates had a lot of connotations in black families. It all but signaled that Chris was your man and you were totally subservient to him.

“You want some yams baby?” You said putting on a sickly-sweet voice to amuse your family members.

The room filled with Awws and whipping noises at your question. You turned and found Chris’s face red, but he was still patting Cam’s back like you had been doing.

“He didn’t burp yet?” You asked.

“Not yet, I don’t think.”

“Mm. We probably need to get you a burping towel. It might be-“

The wet burping noise stopped your sentence stopped you in your tracks, making you look up at your man who was looking down at Cam, who was looking quite satisfied at the burp he had just let out and the off white spit up stain he left on Chris’ shirt.

“Oh no babe.” You laughed a little.

“He spit up a little.” He said, a little amusement in his voice.

“Yeah. Good job baby boy.” You rubbed Cam’s back.

“Oh nooo. I’m so sorry Chris.” Falen came over easing Cam out of Chris’s arms, which made him a little agitated. “I can pay for dry cleaning.” She frowned a little.

“No. No. No. It’s fine. It’s just a little spit up. No need for all of that.” He laughed.

“Well Y’N, at least go try to clean it up.” You mom said. “We have tide pens and stuff in the upstairs guest bathroom.”

Your mouth opened up, jaw hanging a little, “But my food! It’s gonna get cold.”

Your mother put her hands on her hips, “Well yeah it is, cause you’re sitting here back talking me instead of getting your behind up those stairs and cleaning his shirt. Now go.”

“Yes mam.” You put the plates down on a slightly clear space on the table and grabbed Chris’s hand. “Come on Chris.”

--

Chris sat on the edge of the tub and watched you as you washed Cam’s spit up out of his shirt.

“Dang it Cam. Now my food is getting cold.” You muttered.

“You’re calmer.” He commented.

You looked over at him. He was only wearing his pants, a tank top, his pendant necklace hanging off his neck. He looked…really good.

“Yeah. It’s been a good day.” You nodded, putting more hand soap on his sweater. “Are you having fun?” You looked over at him, hoping that he would say yes even if he didn’t mean it.

“A blast honestly. Your family is so warm, and inviting. So funny. And I love how they love you.” He hitched his pants up and stood, walking over you and standing behind you in the mirror. You looked at his reflection, his shirt momentarily forgotten.

“But you know what I love even more?”

You smiled, “Me.”

He grinned too, kissing the top of your head, “…Your mom’s potato salad.”

You turned around and smacked his chest with a wet hand making a loud noise.

“What it’s so good. Oh my god. Get that recipe.” He chuckled and pulled you close to him wrapping his arms around you. You looked up at him, kissing his chin. “No, seriously. I love how bright you’re smiling. How happy you are to be home. How relaxed you are. That accent you have slipped back into.”

“I did not.”

“Oh yes you did.” He smirked. “But I love how you, you are right here in this house. …I would give up every thanksgiving to see you be this relaxed.”

“I love you Chris.” You said quietly.

“I love you. So much.”

               And then he kissed you.

And you wished you could say that kiss lasted forever, or went on and on but of course-

Knock, Knock.

“Yn, Mama said no fornication in her Christian household.” Cassie shouted.

               And you both laughed.

   Epilogue

               You placed Cam down on your Mother’s bed, patting his back and kissing his head.

“He’s an angel. Ugh, we’re going to be here tomorrow and you better be here.” You said to Falen pointing at straight index finger at her.

“I will be. I’m not letting yall eat up all the leftovers.” She rolled her eyes and then smiled at Chris. “You did really good with Camden today Chris.”

“He’s a sweet baby. I did nothing.” Chris shrugged.

“So…planning to have some of your own?”

“Oh kay, we’re leaving now. Tell mom I see her tomorrow and Cassie I will see her tomorrow and to eat a dick.” You gripped Chris’ hand pulling him to the coat closet, allowing him to help you into your coat, and helping him smooth out his jacket.

“Goodnight everyone!” He called out, earning many well wishes as he walked out.

“Oh shit.”

You walked out of the door, focusing on closing the door after yourself. “What’s wrong, is there a big dog out her or-“ You looked up and almost laughed.

Damien, your ex-boyfriend the Falcon football player was standing in front of you two. A bag in one hand and a smile on his face.

“Oh shit, Damien. I can’t believe you’re here!” You passed Chris, hugging Damien.

“Oh yeah. I always come out to your mom’s house after the games. Can’t pass up on the potato salad.” He smiled, sharing a laugh with you and then smiling at Chris. “So this is the dude. Nice to meet you man. I love Captain America.”

Chris shook off the shock, and stuck out his hand, shaking with Damien. “Thank you. And you’re a great football player.”

“Thank you man. Yall need to come out to a game. I’m always offering your girl here tickets but she says you’re a Patriot fan.”

“Oh yeah, gotta go with the home team.”

“Respect man.”

               Chris and Damien talked for another couple of minutes before Damien excused himself into the house. Chris looked at you, shock written on his face.

You smirked, “You thought I was bullshitting you didn’t you?”

Chris shook his head, taking your hand and walking towards the rental car. “When we get home, I’m throwing that piece of tin out of the window and you’re changing your email.”

You smirked.

“Jealous.”

[those-garsh-darn-homos]

The gays ruined aviators for me.

I was once a man that loved his aviator glasses. Didn’t matter if they were fake reading glasses, sunglasses, old geriatric glasses, homoerotic Top Gun glasses, I loved me some aviators. That was all until I discovered the inner working of gay sex.

It all began one night back in ’87, in the local gay Milwaukee bar that I had been perusing due to grief. It hadn’t been the best year, 3 of my favourite gay icons died, first Liberace, then Andy Warhol, and just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Rudolf Hess, gay idol extraordinaire, kicked the fuckin bucket. I was beyond grief stricken from this tragic series of misfortunate events. For these three men to be struck down in their youth for the only crime, of being gay, was a travesty of the highest order. So I found myself at the bottom of a bottle to forget the pain, and also desperate to be stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey, to really get in the mindset of my idols. You see I never got the chance to fornicate with a male, but all these dead guys seemed so happy during their life and I figured it might be the best anti-depressant, so I put on my most effeminate outfit and as Rudolf Hess once said “I’m looking to get some man bussy tonight”. My attempts at getting ploughed were mostly unsuccessful, even after I took a play out of Liberace’s book, and dressed myself like a flamboyant gay lizard that was on the verge of overdosing on poppers. I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket though, some nights I would dress up like a rambunctious oyster, using my curtains as a cape, a clown’s neck ruffle, and more rings than a closeted Italian mob boss. None of these fashion choices worked out in my favour, since Prince hadn’t popularized looking like a bitch yet.

So there I was one night, sitting at the bar wearing a pink feathered coat three sizes too big for me, that I had to poach three dozen flamingo’s to make, when all of a sudden, across the bar, I spot a man in aviators, and my knees began to buckle. His eyes met mine momentarily, and I could feel us using our gay telepathy abilities to communicate with one another, he said to me “I want to eat you in my bathtub” which I just thought was so romantic, I always wanted to be eaten out in a bubble bath, perhaps with some nice rose petals sprinkled on the floor, a magnolia scented candle filling the air with fumes of homosexuality, some Marvin Gaye being played on Vinyl. I picked my glass up and took a seat next to this aviator clad bear. Not only had he aviators covering his eyes, he had a second pair poking out of his shirt’s breast pocket, then I noticed every time he shifted in his seat, that he was sitting on a pair broken aviators in his back pocket, which explained why he was bleeding from the ass. His t-shirt, under his flannel shirt (gay uniform around those parts) had a aviators printed on it. Every detail of this man was perfection, from the aviators on his eyes, to the secret backup aviators in his ankle holster. We introduced ourselves and I discovered his name was Jeffery. It didn’t take long after that, for him to woo me with his charm, saying all kinds of sexy things like, “I’m gonna eat your heart with some gravy” and “I just wanna chop you into itty bitty pieces and gobble you up” I mean I knew I was a snack but, wow. He could see a red blush covering my cheeks every time he waved that smooth tongue of his, and it wasn’t long until he offered to take me back to his place.

When we reached his humble abode, I was met with the stench of death in the air, which I could dig, since he was obviously going for the grizzled Canadian lumberjack look. I took off my flamingo coat and sat on his couch as he fixed us a drink. When he returned with the drink I could smell the familiar scent of rohypnol, and had to request another drink, since rohypnol just didn’t react well with my tummy, or my ass, since every time I had over the years, I would wake up unable to sit down for a week. Jeffery looked confused for a moment, then went to fix me another non-rohypnol flavoured cocktail. After that hiccup we enjoyed our time together, chit chatting about our favourite gay icons, but I didn’t know many of his, Dean Carroll, Jürgen Bartsch, Paul Bateson, Wayne Williams, John Wayne Gacy, but I did have to say, True Grit was a great movie so I understood why he would choose John Wayne to be one of his gay idols.

Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, Jeffery decided to pop the question, of whether we should fornicate, mano a mano. I admitted that I was unfamiliar in the territory of how men might partake in coitus together without a hole to place one’s meat for marinating. Jeffery was very understanding and agreed to show me how gay men achieve sexual gratification, without the presence of a twinkle cave to copulate. It turned out, when you don’t have a punani to poke, intercourse becomes considerably more surgical. Jeffery assured me he was a professional and explained that all he would need along with his wing-wang, was a power drill and some hydrochloric acid. The drill would be used to make a small hole to act as a makeshift snatch in my skull. I was a little apprehensive, but Jeffery asked if I could think of any other hole for him to go all rumpy pumpy on, and I could not for the life of me think of any other way. Just as the drill began to get closer and closer to my forehead, I began to sweat profusely and shake uncontrollably. I didn’t care if Rudolf the Red Nosed Nazi found joy in doing this, it just wasn’t for me, I knew it. Maybe I was a top, all I knew was I just wasn’t cut out for being a submissive bitch, like Prince. I stopped Jeffery and explained that I wasn’t feeling too well and that I should leave, only he handcuffed me and continued the procedure. “what have I got myself into now” is all I could think to myself, of all the guys I could have had my first time with, it had to be an undercover cop. Here I was, in police issue pink fluffy handcuffs, as I was about to have completely normal gay sex for the first time, and then I asked myself why he might be doing this to me, and it was then I made the decision to come clean. “okay it’s true, I whacked off to my Grandma’s bedsheets, I’m guilty” I confessed. Jeffery stopped in his tracks and now he was the one giving me confused looks. I took my opportunity and ran for the door screaming “I’LL NEVER STOP JERKING MY GHERKIN TO GRANNY’S SKID MARKED BRITCHES”. I made my escape with my flamingo coat, but like a woman running away from a psycho killer in a slasher, I had to ditch the heels (Giant flamingo coat in this case) if I had any hopes of escaping with my skull’s hymen intact. Do you know how many families of flamingo’s I had to slaughter to get that fucking coat? It’s gonna take forever to make another one now.

A few weeks passed after that and I started getting a paranoid about whether the police were onto me. I couldn’t take the heat, every time a squad car drove slowly past my house. I could feel my days of freedom slipping away by the minute, and if I was gonna go out, it was going to be on my own terms. I took myself down to the local station and turned myself in. They brought me to an interrogation room to ask me about what crime I committed, and I explained to them that one of their officers had attempted to arrest me a few weeks ago and perform sexual acts on me. When they asked what he did I gave them every detail of the homosexual intercourse procedure and they explained that it wasn’t one of their officers, but instead just an ordinary gay man trying to partake in something called “skull fucking”. They said it was pretty common around these parts and not to worry about it too much and sent me on my way. The weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders as I walked out of that station.

I never did get around to partaking in gay sex after that day, but ever since then, I can’t look at a man in aviators without being reminded of my close call. I instinctively tell anyone I meet wearing aviators “I DON’T WANT TO BE SKULL FUCKED, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME ROHYPNOL” before I can move on with interacting with them any further, and it has drove away many of my friends. I really can’t help it, it’s a kneejerk reaction. I never heard much of that Jeffery after that, but if I did meet him, I’d probably bludgeon his head with a rusty pipe, don’t know why, just really want to do exactly that.

[missperfectlyfine13]

A Bandaid For Your Bullet Hole (4/?)

Read below or on AO3

December 1997

“Come here ladybug,” Richard Beale grabs little 7 year old Chloe’s mitten covered hand as they stomp through the fresh, sparkling and very deep snow.

Chloe watches with wide eyes as her brother Jake plows through the snow, red round saucer sled in hand. It’s Chloe’s first time seeing the fluffy white precipitation. They are in Minnesota visiting her grandma and grandpa for Christmas. The moment she had looked out the window this morning her jaw had dropped to the floor. Her dad had promptly dressed her and her brother in snowsuits and boots and pulled the old sleds down from the rafters of the garage.

“Dad! Chloe! Hurry up!” Jake runs quicker towards the hill, his boots kicking up little puffs of snow.

“We’ll catch up Jake, you can go to the hill,” Richard calls to his eager 12 year old son.

When Chloe and her dad finally reach the top of the hill, Jake has already flown down the hill twice. He’s stomping up the hill when Chloe is just getting her sled situated at the top of the incline.

“Daddy…I’m scared,” the little red head girl looks up at her dad, eyes wide.

He smiles warmly at his daughter and sits down on the back of the sled, patting the space between his legs, “We’ll go down together.”

When Jake had went down the hill the first time, Chloe had watched in excitement and anticipation. She could hardly wait to go down the hill herself, but now that she’s at the top…the bottom seems so far away.

Chloe tentatively sits down at the front of the sled, grabbing the rope tightly.

“Ready Chloe?” her dad asks.

Chloe nods and before she knows it they are flying down the steep hill. The wind whips her face and snow flies up all around them. She lets out a happy squeal, this has to be the best thing she’s ever done. They finally reach the end of the hill and the sled promptly lodges into the deep snow, stopping them dead in their tracks. Chloe practically launches from the front but she couldn’t care less.

“Let’s do it again!” Chloe screams, jumping up from the little sled.

Her dad’s smile is so wide, and he stands up grabbing the sled from the snow, “As many times as you want ladybug.”

************

December 2012

Chloe stands at the top of one of the most intimidating sledding hills she’s ever seen, no less scared than her first time sledding when she was 7…maybe more scared.

Beca looks at her reassuringly, “It’s going to be fun, trust me Chlo.”  

“I feel like this isn’t even remotely safe,” Chloe mutters as she watches a child flying down the slope on an innertube, he looks like he has to be going at least going 50 mph.

“That’s what makes it fun!” Beca laughs, throwing their double innertube down on the smooth, packed down snow, “You want the back or the front?”

“Uh, the back is fine,” Chloe says shakily, crouching down to take her place.

Beca settles in the round dip in the front, nestled tightly between Chloe’s legs. For a moment Chloe forgets that she’s about to go down death mountain, too caught up in the smell of Beca’s fruity shampoo and the way the brunette feels so good leaned up against her. She suddenly feels calm, all nerves dissipated.

“Let’s do this!” Beca screeches, pushing them off with her hand.

Suddenly they are rocketing downwards, the landscape around them a complete blur. Little bits of snow and ice blow up around them as they ride. Chloe lets out a little scream of excitement as they reach their peak speed. Sooner than she’d like, they are at the bottom of the hill. Chloe can still feel the adrenaline pumping though her.

They both hop off the innertube and Beca looks at her expectantly, “So?”

“That was aca-awesome!” Chloe exclaims, eager to go to the top and back down again.

Beca smirks knowingly, “I knew you’d love it.”

************

“I’ve had a really good time today,” Chloe smiles at Beca across the little table.

Beca lowers her white Starbucks cup from her mouth and grins, “Good, I’m glad.”

After they went sledding, they went into the city to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Chloe didn’t really need to buy anything; she’d already gotten gifts for Aubrey and her brother. She didn’t have a present for Beca though, and luckily the brunette had snuck away for a half an hour, claiming she had a special mission she needed to complete. It gave Chloe the chance to pick something up for her best friend. She really wasn’t sure what to get Beca, she just hopes the other girl likes her gift.

“I don’t think I can say thank you enough times for inviting me here, it means a lot,” Chloe says genuinely.

Beca’s family has made her feel so welcome and shown her so much compassion. She hasn’t felt this happy at Christmas since before her dad died.

“I’m glad you’re here, it’s no problem. You don’t have to keep thanking me,” Beca replies sweetly, looking down at the table intently, her finger tracing the swirls of the wood.

After a few minutes Chloe decides to break the comfortable silence with a question she’s been dying ask, “So do you and your brother ever spend Christmas with your dad?”

Beca shakes her head no, “My dad gets us on Thanksgiving, my mom gets us for Christmas. My mom had insisted that’s how it goes, my dad wasn’t too happy but I’m glad that’s how it is. As you know I’m not my stepmom’s biggest fan…”

“What don’t you like about her?” Chloe knows she’s treading a thin line, Beca doesn’t like to share too much, she knows it’s hard for her, but she’d love to know.

After all that Chloe has shared, she just wants to know Beca that well too.

She can tell Beca is formulating a response, her thumbs twiddling nervously, “Ugh, I don’t know…she just isn’t very nice. When me and my brother are around, she just acts like we are a nuisance. Um, but I guess what really gets me is that she isn’t the biggest fan of…who I am.”

Chloe nods knowingly, “Ah, like because you’re bisexual?”

Beca frowns before shaking her head yes, “I brought my girlfriend to my dad’s one summer and let’s just say she had some choice words for us, about how wrong we were. My dad keeps her under control as best as he can, but she doesn’t like to hold back…I don’t know how he stays with her.”

Chloe feels unbelievably sad for the other girl. Even though her mom is a train wreck, she always accepted Chloe for who she is. No one in her family has a problem with who she loves. She just wishes it could be that way for everyone.

“I’m sorry Bec, that’s got to be really hard.”

Beca shrugs, “It’s ok, I’ve learned to just deal with it. She’s been a lot better since I started dating Jesse, except for her snide little comments about being so grateful that I’m straight now…”

Chloe feels her stomach boil with a mixture of anger at Beca’s stepmom and jealousy at the mention of Jesse, but she quickly shakes it off, “That’s really shitty of her, being with Jesse doesn’t change who you are.”

“If only she would see it that way,” Beca rolls her eyes, “at least my mom and stepdad have always been ok with everything.”

“I just wish that no one had to deal with people like your stepmom, it just makes me sad, my mom has never cared about me liking girls, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t either if he were around,” Chloe shakes her head.

“I’m glad you understand this stuff, I’ve never had friends that could relate to me like this,” Beca confesses quietly.

The statement makes Chloe beam, “I’m glad I have you too.”

************

Chloe flies forward, her heart racing. She tries to catch her breath, but it’s so hard, she hasn’t had a nightmare like that in a long time. Luckily, she didn’t seem to wake up Beca, who is still snoring, sleeping soundly next to her.

It’s the same nightmare every time, it’s always her mom, lying on the sofa limply, a horrific reenactment of what she walked in on 3 years ago. They always seem to happen again around Christmas, for obvious reason.

Chloe slides around, letting her feet hit the cold hardwood flooring. She needs some water. When she gets down to the kitchen, she’s surprised to see she’s not the only person there. Beca’s mom is sitting at the island countertop, Christmas cookie in hand, fluffy robe on and hair tied in a knot on the top of her head.

“Chloe,” the older woman’s eyes flit upwards as Chloe enters the kitchen, “you’re still up?”

“I just needed some water,” Chloe grabs a glass from the cupboard, “what are you doing up still?”

She looks over at the clock on the stove, it’s nearly 2 in the morning.

“Ethan couldn’t sleep, he insisted on sleeping in my bed. I finally got him down, but I worked up a little appetite,” Beca’s mom grins, waving the little gingerbread man in the air.

Chloe fills her glass with water and takes a few large gulps. She’s finally stopped shaking from her nightmare, she hopes she didn’t look too frazzled when she walked in.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s going on with you and Beca?” the older woman asks so nonchalantly, but it practically makes Chloe choke.

“Nothing…I mean we’re friends, good friends,” Chloe rambles, trying not to freak.

“Ok, if you say so,” she smirks, “but I see how you two look at each other.”

“What?” Chloe can’t help the knee jerk reaction, “Beca doesn’t like me…”

“I know what it looks like when my daughter likes someone, she may be with that guy, but she feels something for you, I just know it.”

Her words swirl around in Chloe’s head viciously, her stomach fluttering. She can’t be right, Beca likes Jesse. Though the little glimmer of hope has her heart ablaze.

“Really?” Chloe asks in disbelief.

The older woman nods, “Something about that look on your face tells me you might like her too…”

Chloe can’t help the rosy blush that spreads across her face.

“Wait for her Chloe, she’ll come around,” she pops the last bit of cookie into her mouth before hopping off the stool and back towards the stairs.

Chloe finishes her glass of water and heads back upstairs. She’s not sure how long she lies there before she falls asleep, she just can’t shut her mind off. The idea of Beca liking her back is just too much…

************

Beca and Chloe lounge on the plush sofa in the living room, stomachs full from their Christmas dinner. She can still hear the majority of Beca’s family laughing and chatting in the large dining room. The two had snuck away after their plates were clear to get a good spot to sit. The large home is filled to the brim with family. It’s so warm, happy and rather exciting. This Christmas has been a dream, it’s sad to think it’s almost over.

“Hey,” Beca pokes her in the arm.

Chloe turns to look at her, “What?”

“Follow me,” Beca manages to push herself off the sofa.

Chloe is surprised she can follow suit with how full she feels, “Where are we going?”

“I just want to give you something,” Beca leads them to the back of the house, near the patio doors leading out to the backyard, which is covered in snow and warm lights.

They stop right at the doors, seemingly far away from all of the commotion. Although she can still faintly hear Beca’s Uncle Jerry bellowing loudly, he kind of reminds her of Santa.

Beca pulls a small, neatly wrapped box from her pocket, the little silver bow isn’t even crushed, despite being in Beca’s pocket seemingly all day, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

Chloe gladly accepts the box with a smile on her face, “Bec, you didn’t have to.”

“Hey, everyone should have something to open on Christmas,” Beca shrugs her shoulders.

Chloe quickly pulls the wrapping away to reveal a small red jewelry box. Inside is a delicate silver necklace, a dainty ladybug charm hanging from the chain. She gasps at the thoughtful gift.

“Oh my god, Beca, I love it,” she says in awe, pulling it from the box, “how did you know?”

“You’ve got that tattoo on your wrist, I thought you must just really love them,” Beca replies quietly, “I honestly was just hoping it wasn’t stupid.”

“It isn’t stupid, it’s amazing…I have that tattoo because ladybug is what my dad used to call me,” Chloe clasps the necklace on, running her fingers over it, “this means so much.”

“Oh wow, guess it was a good choice then,” the brunette smiles wildly, clearly happy with the effect her gift had.

“I have something for you too, but I have to go get it,” Chloe chose to wear a dress and doesn’t have the novelty of pockets, like Beca did.

Chloe hurries up to Beca’s room and grabs the slim box from her bag. She practically sprints back downstairs to where Beca is still patiently waiting. Chloe extends the little box out to her best friend, who eagerly takes it from her.

Beca rips the wrapping off, excited to get into the gift, she gasps when she pulls out a little white box, containing a brand new iPod, the surprised look on the brunette’s face is priceless, “Chloe this is great!”

“I noticed yours is kind of old and beat up and I know how much you love music.”

“This had to cost a fortune…you shouldn’t have,” Beca is still grinning from ear to ear, but she sounds concerned.

Chloe shakes her head, “It wasn’t that bad, don’t worry about it, just enjoy it.”

“I will, thank you Chlo,” Beca replies quietly.

Chloe’s eyes drift out the door, a light snow is falling. If Chloe is being quite honest, she hasn’t had her fill of it yet. She wants nothing more than to go outside and soak up the gentle precipitation.

Beca follows her gaze and grins, “You wanna get some fresh air?”

“Yes,” Chloe answers a little too excitedly, earning a chuckle from Beca.

The two grab their coats and quietly slip out into the dark backyard. The only light illuminating the large yard is the soft, colored Christmas lights hanging from the pine trees.

“This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a very long time,” Chloe genuinely confesses.

“I’m glad you accepted my offer to come then,” Beca stuffs her hands into her pockets, it’s a little colder than she had assumed, “you deserve to have a good Christmas, even if it can’t be with your family.”

“The Bellas are my family, you’re my family,” Chloe blurts out, maybe a little too forcefully, “so I am with my family today.”

“I kind of wish the rest of them were here…isn’t that a little crazy?” Beca asks almost in disbelief, like she can’t comprehend that those girls mean that much to her.  

Chloe shakes her head no, “Of course not, it would be nice.”

Although Chloe selfishly is glad that it’s just her and Beca. All this time alone with the younger girl has been amazing…and probably isn’t doing anything to help Chloe’s raging toner for her.

“It’s pretty cold out here, want to go back inside?” Beca motions to the patio door.

Chloe nods, it is really cold, “Yea let’s go.”

The two stop in the entry way to hang their coats on the hall tree. Beca’s baby brother Ethan is sitting on the floor, rolling around a brand-new fire truck. His eyes bounce up to the older girls and he smiles a toothy grin at the two.

“Kiss! You hafta kiss now!” he giggles pointing at his half-sister and her best friend.

Beca’s cheeks turn 20 different shades of red and Chloe feels a chill run down her spine, what is this kid talking about?

The babbling 4-year-old points at the ceiling above them, where a strategically placed bundle of mistletoe has been hung. The little boy has been hanging out in the hallway all day waiting for his next victims, after his mom had explained what the decoration meant.

Recognition flashes across the brunette’s face when she looks up.

“We can’t ignore tradition Bec,” Chloe says cheekily, knowing that she’s pushing the boundaries.

To her surprised Beca shrugs in agreement, “You’re right.”

Chloe’s heart beats wildly as Beca starts to lean in, but to her immense disappointment, Beca goes past her lips and plants a soft kiss on her rosy cheek. Even though she would have preferred a kiss on the lips…her cheek still burns where Beca’s lips landed. The act did nothing to calm her racing heart.

Chloe leans over and returns the favor, letting her lips linger maybe a bit too long on the soft skin of the younger girl’s face, “Merry Christmas Beca.”

When she pulls away, Beca is blushing slightly, but she quickly plays it off, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

The two barely notice Ethan, who is clapping loudly and squealing excitedly that he got two people to actually play along. What no one sees though, is Beca’s mom who is watching from down the hall, with a cheeky, knowing grin spread across her face…

[quyennie]

Thanksgiving with Lou

Pairing: Reader x Lou (VAV)

Word Count: 1497

Genre: Smut

Warnings: unprotected sex (y/n is on bc), risky sex, cream pie, 

A/N: none this is pretty tame actually

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! ENJOY!

You were headed to your parents for Thanksgiving. The entire family was going to be there, and you were really hoping your brother would bring his super-hot roommate so you could at least have some eye candy to get you through the repeated questions of are you still single, when are you going to get married, don’t you have a boyfriend, are you a lesbian. You really hated all these questions. You were so tired of these questions, you really just wanted to say you were a lesbian, but then you’d have no chance of ever getting with Lou, so you endured it. You knew your chances of getting with him kept growing smaller the longer you waited though, so you devised a plan to hook up with him during thanksgiving dinner this year. You saw the way he looked at you, and you knew he wanted it just as bad but neither of you ever acted on it. You weren’t entirely sure how you were going to make it happen, but it had to be now.

You pulled into the driveway of the house you grew up in. It was a big, white house with flowers in the front and a lot of trees. You really loved this house, but not when the family got together. Your grandma made a lot of snarky remarks, your cousins had their perfect lives, your parents seemed perfect, but you knew that was a lie; your aunts and uncles all lived so luxuriously, your brother was a shit so no one even bothered to question him, and then there was you. You had put your dreams on hold long enough to try and seem like the perfect daughter, but you were so tired of it. You wanted to run away and be the bad girl for once. You took a deep breath before you opened the door. You had to mentally prepare yourself for the dysfunctional family waiting inside. You saw your brother’s car in the driveway so there was hope that Lou was indeed inside. With him being Korean American, his family didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving so your brother normally invited him just so he wouldn’t have to stay home alone. He also enjoyed the chaos that was your family. You weren’t really sure why he did, but you were really happy when you walked in and saw him sitting on the couch with your brother watching football.

“Hey guys, y/n finally made it,” your brother, Sam, said.

“Now that everyone’s finally here we can start eating,” your mother yelled from the kitchen.

A few folding tables had been set up in the living room so everyone would have space to sit without having to hold their plates. Everyone slowly made their way through the line of food set up in the kitchen before settling down at the tables. Small talk was made. Of course, they asked if you had a boyfriend. You looked at Lou, who was staring at you intently, before sighing, “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m waiting on someone special.”

He smiled at you. You were really hoping he took the hint. He was the someone special you were waiting for. The questions continued. You didn’t know why everyone found your life so fascinating besides the fact you were the youngest and one of the few single people at the table. They didn’t care to ask your brother these questions though and they wouldn’t dare pry into Lou’s life like they did yours. They did, however, ask him if he was single. “Yes ma’am, I’m single. I have someone I’m interested in though. I’m just not really sure how to tell her.” He stared at you the entire time, though he was answering your annoying aunt. Wait, was he interested in you too? You hoped with all your being that he was.

After what felt like hours of interrogation, everyone finally settled in for a nice dinner, some football, and small talk. You noticed Lou got up to go to the bathroom, so while no one was paying attention, you slipped away and followed him. You went upstairs and knocked on the door. “One minute,” Lou replied. You waited for him to open the door, “Oh, hey, y/n.”

“Hey, Lou.”

“How are you enjoying your Thanksgiving?” “It’s the same as always. Apparently, my family thinks I’m a lesbian because I’m single, but what they don’t know is there is someone I really like.” “Oh really?”

“Yeah. He’s really cute and sweet and I really like him a lot, but I’m not sure he feels the same.”

“Well, you’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have you like them. I mean, I know if I was the guy you liked I would be ecstatic.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well….” you stood there for a minute before looking towards the ground and whispering, “you are the one I like.” You blushed. You’d never been one to confess to a guy before.

“I am?” he smiled. Like really smiled. It was beautiful and magical and just damn.

“Yes. I’ve liked you for a while now actually,” You lowered your voice, “I think about you a lot; about the things I would love for you to do to me.” You ran your hand down his arm with eyes full of lust.

“Mmm, baby, you don’t know how much I’ve imagined doing so much to you,” he replied, eyes darkening to match yours.

You dragged him to your old room. It still looked exactly the same, TVXQ, Big Bang, and Super Junior posters plastered the wall. Yes, you know you’re American, but you’ve been into Kpop roughly half your life and apparently your parents never cared to redecorate. You were pretty sure they just didn’t want to accept the fact that their precious daughter was almost 30 and was fully capable of taking care of herself and had been living on her own for years now. Oh well, at least they still left the bed there. Lou kissed you gently, but you weren’t looking for slow and gentle right now. This was something you had been looking forward to since the first day you met him. You needed him now, and you needed him bad. You deepened the kiss. “Lou, we don’t have time for slow and sweet. I need you now. I need you hard and fast and dirty. We can have time for slow love making later on.”

He took the hint. He locked the door and pushed you on the bed quickly stripping you of your pants and panties and running his fingers through your slit. “Oh, baby girl, you’re absolutely soaked for me and we haven’t even done anything yet.”

“I told you I’ve wanted you forever. This is what you do to me. Now fuck me please,” you pleaded.

He undid his pants and pulled them down just enough to let his cock spring free. “Turn over. I want you from the back like the dirty little slut you are.” You turned over, and he slid inside your aching core. Fuck, the way he stretched you was amazing.

“Fuck, yes!”

He put his hand over your mouth as he continued to thrust into you hitting your gspot every time. “You have to be quiet, remember your family could come looking for us at any moment.”

“Choke me. It’s the only way I’ll keep quiet.”

He wrapped his hand around your throat and thrust into you hard a few more times. “Are you on the pill?” You nodded. “Good, Imma paint your insides with my seed.” As he thrust into you one more time you both came, your pussy convulsed around his cock milking him of that thick, white seed. You lay there for a minute feeling his cum seeping out of your pussy. He used his fingers to push it back inside of you. “I want you to hold my cum inside you for the rest of the time we’re here. Tonight, I’m going home with you. Let’s tell the family we’re dating.”

You just nodded. You could already feel yourself getting horny again. “Okay, let’s go give them something to talk about.”

You two walked downstairs holding hands. “You two were gone for a while,” your aunt said.

“Yeah, I know. We were talking. Guess what everyone. Lou and I are officially dating now,” you held your hands up and showed the family.

“Congrats!” everyone said. You weren’t sure but they may think this is a ploy for them to get off your ass, but you didn’t even care. You really liked Lou and wanted to be with him regardless of what others thought. You succeeded in making it through the rest of the day stuffed with Lou’s cum before you finally headed home.

“You ready babe?” you asked. He nodded and you guys headed out together. You were excited to see where this would take you.

To be continued…

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @Bloodspeckledraphael!

I hope you enjoy this fic, I had fun writing it! Hope your holidays are happy.

Read on AO3

*****

A Mistletoe Kiss

“I told you, dad, you’ll have to settle for the early release copy.” Stiles said. He was pacing back and forth, waiting for his flight to arrive so he can get back home in time for Christmas. It was bad enough he had been screwed over with his flight delaying a few hours to ruin his chance of getting connecting flights because of a snowstorm but hopefully he’ll squeak on in just before Christmas Eve ends. If he hadn’t had to come out here to meet with his editor in-person about the first book in the new Starlit Snow series (He had wanted to call it The Adventures of Billy Bob and Bobby Bill but was cruelly shut down. He would’ve found a way eventually to call the two men those names, not his fault deadlines exist.)

“I think I deserve to find out what happens to Drake. That was downright cruel of you, leaving that last book off where the prince found out Drake had been lying to him all this time about who he is.” His dad, John, said. Stiles could imagine the face he was making, the stern look that has made some newer deputies fear him but hasn’t worked on Stiles since he was a teen. Repetitive use of it through the years had removed any power it had once had on Stiles as a little kid.

“That was your fault! You’re the one that mentioned wanting to see what happens when the truth comes out and even suggested that cliffhanger when I was in the middle of writing a different plot for the next book of the series. I trashed all that hard work to do the reveal in this new book instead of later on in the series. My editor was threatening my Star Wars collection, even the signed DVDs! Now we’re boarding soon so who should I expect to pick me up at the gate since you’re too busy with a case and abandoned your favorite son to the cruel whims of fate?” Stiles made sure to whine the last sentence in the most annoying way he loved to use on his dad.

John sighed at the sound, then replied, “It isn’t cruel, I’m having Derek Hale pick you up. Remember, the guy you drooled about when you saw him on that skype call? He couldn’t look at me without blushing for weeks after some of the stuff you said out loud. I had to pull him aside to get him to stop and we got to talking about you. I made sure to tell him all of your faults and flaws but I think that just made him more interested, not less like I had hoped.”

“That isn’t fair, anyone would drool over someone that gorgeous. And he should take the compliments since he must get those every day and conveniently forget about them when he picks me up so it isn’t awkward. And you talked to him about me but you gave me nothing to work with here! If you’ve done the work to charm him with the Stilinski charm, you could at least have thrown me a bone about the guy. All I know is his name is Derek Hale, the guy works for you and about the fire that almost killed his family. He doesn’t even have a Facebook for me to stalk him on!”

“Because the last time I told you about a deputy in detail, he ended up in one of your series as the person that died first. It was suspicious how accurate you were describing the guy’s physical features so I take it you found him on Facebook?”

“Well he sounded like an ass since you were usually complaining about that guy. Don’t lie, you threw a party when he transferred to another area. Now I’ve got to go, love you, dad!”

“Love you too, kid.” John said, call ending. Stiles put his phone away, readjusted his glasses, grabbed his suitcase and boarded the plane. A few more hours and he’d be home at last and in time for Christmas.

Stiles walked out of the gate with his luggage rolling behind him, looking around for Derek Hale. He hoped the guy wouldn’t make him sit and stew for a while as payback for the embarrassing comments, it’s not his fault the man’s ass in the deputy uniform would make even angels weep and he blurted out that very thing to his dad on that tragic skype call. Perfection like that requires forewarning to protect Stiles’ bisexual heart. Speaking of perfection, he finally spotted the deputy, not in uniform but a soft-looking sweater with thumbholes. It was beautifully ugly with a terrible approximation of a wolf with antlers and a red nose and the best part is it looked handmade. It wasn’t the cheap capitalist ugly sweater that some child had probably slaved away in some sweatshop on but was a gift from some old lady, maybe his grandma. His grandma was still alive, right? Stiles think she had gifted the police station sweaters one year but doesn’t remember what his dad had done with his ugly sweater.

Never mind, the guy had spotted him and was heading for him, something hidden behind his back. He pulled it out when Stiles was close enough to make it out through his smudged glasses. Welcome back, Mischief, it read. Someone had obviously blabbed about that nickname and Stiles would make them rue the day they thought to tell the guy gifted enough to pull off ugly sweaters about that nickname. Knowing his luck? Stiles figured his dad probably is the culprit and could only pray he hadn’t gotten into the more embarrassing childhood stories with the guy. The thing with the pickle and toothpaste was a dare from Scott and Stiles won’t back down from a dare.

“Stiles? I was told to look for the skinny guy about my height with ugly old-man glasses and you fit.”

“I will have you know these glasses are a classic look. It is not my fault philistines think they’re ugly. And you’re Derek, right? My dad would murder me if I somehow found the wrong guy and followed him out and got murdered for it.”

“Your dad mentioned that very thing as a possibility.”

“He’ll regret that, I’ll make sure to remember that for Christmas dinner when the pie is served. See if I let him have two slices as a Christmas miracle.” Stiles looked around while they talked, watching the mass of people slowly flow around their small bubble.

“Let’s go.” Derek said. He grabbed Stiles’ luggage without prompting and walked away. Stiles stared at the display of beautiful muscular glory, those biceps straining against the sweater, the subtle shift of back muscles, someone save Stiles because this guy is going to kill him with hotness. He shook his head (and visions of what might be under the sweater) and ran to catch up to the guy.

“No need to be a Grinch, any reason for the abrupt sour mood, Mr. Sourwolf?” Stiles said.

“I wasn’t able to take any time off and got stuck here instead of going with my family on the yearly Christmas vacation. And sourwolf?” Derek said.

“Shit, I didn’t expect that. Sorry to hear about that and sourwolf because you are acting Grinch-like and your shirt has a wolf on it.”

“It’s okay, being surrounded by them all is smothering since they even get the aunts, uncles, and cousins together. It’s an army by that point, most of us only see each other for Thanksgiving and Christmas and don’t talk the rest of the year. Main issue is I’m going to be hearing about this for years, Matt still gets shit for missing aunt Gretchen’s daughters first Christmas and that was years ago. Even Laura somehow got off this year and I want to know how she pulled that off considering she always gets stuck with the holiday shifts at the hospital.”

“Laura’s your older sister and Matt is your brother, right?”

“Yeah, her and Matt are first and second, then there’s me, Meredith and Cora. It’s a madhouse just with them, add in all the other kids and it gets to be too much. I’m glad to have an excuse, it’ll be peaceful this year.”

“Not a bad thing to want some peace and quiet. I need that sometimes when I’m working on certain scenes, usually I need the noise and chaos so I live in coffeeshops when deadlines are near.” They had just left the airport building and were walking to wherever Derek had parked, hopefully close by. Stiles hadn’t slept well on the plane because of a crying baby next to him, he thought those clichés only lived in trope-filled books but obviously they became a cliché for a reason. A long walk would drain his reserves he needs for when he gets home and sees everyone since it’ll be night by then, hopefully they will still be up.

“Your dad mentioned that you write for a living. You any good?” Derek smirked. He brushed his arm against Stiles, most likely by chance because that sounded flirty to Stiles and there’s no way that Greek god would do it with him.

Stiles sputtered when the sentence registered. He glared at the smirking asshole walking next to him, arms barely contained in the sweater as they shifted with the suitcase, trying to distract him from the more important things, like defending himself and his honor as an author. “I’ll have you know I am a bestselling author and have gotten multiple books on the NYT bestselling list. Am I any good?” Stiles scoffs. “I am so good. Surely you’ve read the Dreamdark series?”

“Never heard of it.” Derek said. His face was blank until he saw Stiles had stopped walking with him, mouth hanging open and eyes wide since even Lydia had read them and her standards were insane for literature, she had even said as much to him. Derek smirked again. “Of course, I have. Any chance I can get one of those advanced copies your dad brags about?” The pair picked up the pace, getting close to where an old mom van was parked that Derek was aimed right at, luckily nearby. It was cluttered with all kinds of junk, kids’ toys scattered in the back, a few stickers on it with one from each holiday around this time.

“Sorry, those go to my dad, Scott and his mom and Lydia would murder me with her stilettoes if I don’t give her one.” Stiles looked between Derek and the car as Derek unlocked the trunk and threw his suitcase in, shoving it between two boxes bursting with kids’ toys. “Surely you don’t drive that thing, it feels like the thing a mother of 4 would drive around and show off to all the other neighborhood moms at their PTO meetings.”

“It’s the only thing left here. Laura took the Camaro and my mom and dad both took the other cars with them since they were on food and kid duty. This is just one of the many little ways they will get back at me for missing out on the party.”

“Sounds like it isn’t worth missing if they do that stuff as revenge.” They finished loading up and Derek drove them away.

“It is worth it. If I have to hear aunt Cecilia ask when I’ll ‘settle down with a good boy or girl’ one more time, I’m packing up and living as a hermit in the woods. Laura already has enough kids for all of us but still she bugs Cora and me about relationships.”

Stiles gave him a once-over, especially looking at his stubbled face. “Grow out a beard and I can see you pulling off the mountain man look.” Stiles pictured it and Derek would look hot as burning. Derek squinted at him with suspiciously red ears, Stiles’ face must have given something away when he saw them, before smoothing it over to a grin. “C’mon dude, surely you got people lining up to save you from your aunt? Hell, I’d join the line if so.” “I doubt you’d survive dealing with them all. Imagine a family of people as nosy as you are about your dad’s diet, according to the Sheriff.”

“I will have you know; I torment him out of love and a desire for him to live to retire and see any grandkids I might ever have.”

“Do you plan to have kids?” Derek said.

“Sure, dude. More than one, growing up as an only child gets lonely at times. I love Scott like a brother but he has to go home to Melissa sometimes. He can’t just live with us all the time though we tried so many times. How about you?”

“I grew up with a big family, I’d want them to have siblings if I ever had kids. I’m surprised you and Scott didn’t get your own house to live in, if I hadn’t seen him with Allison, I’d have sworn you two were gone on each other.”

“Sounds like we’re on our way to a married life if we’re already having the kid talk, dude.” Stiles joked. “And you are not the first to say that, Allison kept looking at Scott funny when they were just friends because she thought he was with me. Took Christmas for her to realize there was nothing there.”

“Then calling me dude is grounds for divorce.” Derek’s face was smiling as he said it. “I don’t get how she never noticed how much he liked her, he has a face he makes when thinking of her. I’m pretty sure it scares the animals at his work more than a needle.”

“Not cool, man. Would you rather I call you what I said earlier, sourwolf? It fits you well when you ruin the fun. Enough about Scott, what about you?” Stiles said. If Derek smirking was dangerous for Stiles’ health, Derek smiling was something to cherish. Stiles figured it was too early but he already wanted to see Derek smiling more often and not just the smirks he had worn. Derek turned on the radio to a random Christmas station and the conversation drifted off from there. They talked about favorite Christmas movies (Home Alone, of course.), favorite Christmas songs, “All I want for Christmas is a classic, Derek.” “It’s overplayed to hell, shut up, Stiles.” They even got to favorite Christmas memories, “I keep the picture of the three of us in my first book. I think she’d be proud that I got so far from her giving me a notebook and pen for Christmas.” “Laura and Cora teamed up to do Christmas dinner that year and both burned it all so badly we had to get takeout. It was the best Christmas ever.”

They passed the Welcome to Beacon Hills sign with Derek slowing down to match the speed limit exactly. “What, afraid your cop buddies are going to pull you over if you go a mile over?” Stiles said.

“More like afraid your dad will pull me over and read us both the riot act about safe driving.” Derek said.

“Shit, that is scary. Okay, keep obeying the law. My dad will love you if you tell him I said that.”

They pulled into the driveway of the Stilinski house, John’s cruiser and Melissa’s car already there. Nobody was outside but the lights in the house were on. “What, where is the welcoming committee?” Stiles said.

“Inside.” Derek said.

“And why are they not coming out to welcome their beloved son home? I’ll be filing a complaint at the police department over this treatment. Surely this is some form of child neglect.” Stiles walked through the door and headed to the kitchen, Derek following closely behind. They were greeted with the table set up for a very late dinner and John, Melissa, and Scott all chatting away at the kitchen counter. The group turned as one when Stiles opened the door loudly, Derek’s quick work preventing it from banging against the wall.

Scott gestured at them to stop and pointed up above them. “Stop right there. You got to pay the toll, both of you, dudes.” Stiles and Derek looked up, saw the mistletoe and turned to each other. Stiles was totally getting Scott an awesome after-Christmas gift to thank him for an on-point wingman. Even without Stiles saying a thing, Scott knew right away he wanted to make a move on Derek.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, dude. Scott’s making that toll thing up.” Stiles tried to give Derek an out in case the guy was uncomfortable about being put on the spot. He had been fidgeting after seeing the mistletoe but he hadn’t looked away from Stiles’ face. In the right light, Stiles would say he was blushing but surely that was his imagination running away from him again.

“Given how many times you guys used it on me and Melissa, having it turned on you is fair play, right, Melissa?” John said.

“Sounds right to me. I lost track how many times you two tried to parent-trap us together.” Melissa said.

“We will be brothers eventually, we just thought we’d speed things along!” Stiles defended him and Scott.

Derek reached out and put his hand against Stiles’ face. He leaned forward and stopped and said quietly, “This okay with you?”

“More than okay with me, big guy.” Stiles closed the gap and they kissed.

While the duo was focused on kissing each other, the rest turned back to continue the conversation that had been going on before they got there. “Pay up, Sheriff. I told you the mistletoe would work. Laura told me all about how her brother was pining away and Stiles has a type and Derek fits it to a T.”

“I’m not sure why I doubted you, it worked on Scott and Allison too that first Christmas they both came over. God knows it would take a Christmas miracle to get you and her together, Scott. Where is Allison anyway?”

“She had to do dinner with her family, her father still hates me.”

Derek and Stiles parted, eyes glowing from the dim light hitting just right. “Merry Christmas, Derek. Want to stay and celebrate a Stilinski Christmas to make up for missing a Hale one?”

“Gladly, Stiles.”

[keelywolfe]

FIC: The Elephant in the Room ch.4 (baon)

Summary: Jeff has started working at the Embassy. He’s got a new job, a new car, and a new place to live. Now if only the rest of his life could fall into order, that’d be great. Any time now…any time at all…

Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst,  Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Suicidal Thoughts,  Mental Health Issues, Friendship

Notes:  Jeff is headed home after his chat with Red, and there is so much that he doesn’t understand. But he’s starting to see why no one goes looking for Red, (whose other name is chaos). 

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

By the time Jeff left the Embassy, most of the rush hour traffic had rushed on home, so it was a fairly easy drive to New New Home. Even the traffic lights seemed to be on his side, winking to green before he even tapped the brake. Everything was going his way, so it was a damn shame that his inner turmoil was really starting to rev up in speed.

Somehow now that his professional and personal life were getting it together, his love life was the thing falling apart and it didn’t make any damn sense. It wasn’t anything he could put a finger on, even. After a year of trying to figure out his place in, well, everywhere, it felt like things were on a good track. Not that he’d enjoyed getting stabbed to get there, but hell with it, if the gift horse was a little rough with the delivery, Jeff wasn’t going to argue with the outcome.

And now, he and Antwan were seeing each other more than ever, though that might be because of proximity more than anything. Antwan came over nearly every day after work, much to Blue’s rapturous delight. He’d stay for dinner and they’d all chat about their day, what was happening at the Embassy, new policies they were working on, hell, even taking a side track into what movies they wanted to see. It was like…like a family dinner, only one Jeff enjoyed, not like when he was a kid where they all sat silently at the large, mahogany table that his parents got years ago as a wedding gift, trying to eat as quickly as possible so he could escape. In the evening, they all might watch some television, Antwan working on his laptop if there was a big case coming up, or sometimes, he’d put his arms around Jeff and simply hold him, big and warm and right there. On those nights, Jeff sometimes secretly closed his eyes, the better to feel him with, my dear. Netflix would always be there, he needed to get his snuggle fix when he could. Antwan would either stay the night, since Jeff finally had a bed that could fit two fully grown humans and not barely most of one, or they’d drive over to sleep at Antwan’s place. Where they slept seemed to depend mostly on whether they were having sex or not, and maybe they’d started this with dinner and blowjobs, but Antwan wasn’t fussing about not getting laid every night. On the nights they stayed in Jeff’s bed, they curled up together and slept, the blankets pulled up around them in a comfy, secret world that Jeff wanted to stay in as long as he could.

Or, well, at least for the night. Because waking up in Antwan’s arms, with the smell of coffee wafting up the stairs? Yeah, Jeff was good with that. The first few days or so after he’d gotten out of the hospital, Jeff had been really worried; Antwan hadn’t seemed himself, but considering how fucked up that whole situation had been from the gate to the front door, maybe he should be happy Antwan had only seemed as odd as he had. Whatever his problem was, he seemed to have gotten past it and the last few weeks seemed like a little patch of heaven So, what the hell just happened in his office?

Jeff always figured Antwan and Red were friends of some sort; every Wednesday the two of them went out to the bar together, but that was definitely not a friendly bar-mate vibe he got today.

Not with Red sitting behind his desk, dressed like he might be called in to play the lead in West Side story at any moment and Antwan glaring at him like he was on the rival gang’s side.

It’d hurt a little when Antwan sort of dismissed him out the door, but that was easy enough to let go. The way he’d refused to take his eyes off Red made Jeff think a little of Edge, the way he looked around them now when they were all out in public.

Gone were the easy days of leaving Chinese restaurants without a care; now when they went down sidewalks, Edge tended to act like he was in threat assessment mode, and that was exactly how Antwan looked at Red. Stretch might be confident enough to ignore it, snatching up Edge’s hand to hold or pestering him with puns, but Jeff wasn’t quite so certain. Especially since Red wasn’t some random Human with a knife; he was a guy who showed up Thanksgiving dinner and movie nights, who Antwan shared drinks with almost week..

Better to let the two of them deal with their problems on their own. He hoped.

Jeff pulled into the driveway next to Blue’s Volkswagen, and he’d barely turned off the car when his phone buzzed with a text alert. The number came up as unknown, but even if his phone didn’t recognize the sender, Jeff did. hey, handy andy. think you can meet with me tomorrow, talk a little bit more about your pal steve Interesting. As anxiety-inducing as Red was, Jeff got a little thrill to think he might be able to actually help. Remembering that day last year on the bus, Stretch’s fear as that guy screamed at him. Thinking of Edge’s wary gaze while they were in Ebott. If he could help keep any Monster from feeling the same, even one, Jeff was all for it. He walked up the sidewalk to the door, past the flowerbeds on either side. Blue’s decorations were for a more subtle autumn, a little like he imagined someone’s grandma might have. Not exactly the same as the Halloween displays Stretch put up, weird to think those two were brothers. Jeff sure didn’t mind walking into a house that smelled like apple pie and cinnamon rather than his old place that always smelled a little like wet feet.

With the open floor plan, Jeff could see the dining room from the doorway and Blue was already laying out plates and silverware. “There you are,” Blue scolded before he even took off his shoes. “I was just about to text you.” It made Jeff have to hold back a smile. Having someone worrying about him wasn’t exactly something he was familiar with, not for a long time. He thought maybe he wouldn’t mind getting used to it. Blue was setting the table for three because Antwan almost always came over for dinner. Sometimes straight from work even if he wasn’t quite finished, and he’d have to leave the table to answer his phone, which made Blue tut and shake his head. He kept it to disapproving glances for Antwan, but Jeff’s gotten a couple of earfuls from Blue about how Antwan and Edge both worked too long and too hard, and needed to spend more time with family. Not that Antwan had any family close by, but Jeff figured the sentiment was nice. “Sorry, I should’ve called,” Jeff said contritely. Blue flapped a hand at him, already moving on. One thing about Blue that he’d learned quickly was that he didn’t hold a grudge. “No need to apologize! Dinner’s almost ready.” Which was certain to be delicious, based on every other meal he’d had since moving in.

If asked, Jeff wouldn’t be able to tell which of the skeleton family was a better cook. Partly because he valued his life; there an odd sort of tension between Blue and Edge that Jeff couldn’t help noticing, and adding another rivalry would probably be bad for the world. But also because frankly, their food was equally delicious. It was only different. Blue made homier meals that made Jeff think of small ma and pa diners, while Edge made an eclectic variety that wouldn’t be out of place at some hipster hole in the wall. Nobody was asking for his opinion yet and Jeff wasn’t about to offer. He wanted to keep enjoying the spoils of their labors, thanks, even if he would have to start getting up for morning runs. A knock at the door made them look up and the door opened before either of them could answer it. To Jeff’s surprise, it wasn’t Antwan but Stretch, offering them a lopsided grin and a wave. “Papy!” Blue moved in a blur that matched his namesake and Stretch was already kneeling down, pulling his brother into a tight embrace. “hey, bro,” Stretch gave him a clacking kiss on top of his skull, and Jeff had to look away, faint tears prickling. He’d always gotten the feeling that Stretch and Blue butted heads a lot, with a laundry list of issues between them. None of that seemed to affect how much they cared about each other and big hugs were the norm. Less so was Stretch standing with his brother balanced on one arm, waddling over to rope Jeff into a three-way hug. “heya, andy, how’s tricks?” “I haven’t come up with any new ones since I saw you this morning,” Jeff said, with an attempt at dryness. He didn’t really succeed, not with Blue snuggling in on one side and Stretch on the other, but eh, he wasn’t about to manage Edge’s Sahara-levels anyway. The kitchen timer going off put a quick end to it and Blue squirmed down, dashing off to the kitchen. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” Jeff asked curiously. Stretch had come over a couple times for dinner after Jeff moved in, but usually on Wednesday when Edge was gone for the evening. “not sure,” Stretch admitted. “red sent me a text, told me i should come down and watch the show, and i haven’t done anything phenomenally stupid lately, so i figured i was due.” “Listening to Red is phenomenally stupid?” Stretch shrugged, “it’s bad for life expectancy, for sure.” “Papy, don’t you dare use that in the house,” Blue said the moment the kitchen door opened. The bony hand that was stealthy creeping towards Stretch’s hoodie pocket froze and slid guiltily away, “sorry, bro. habit.” “I don’t see how Edge allows you to vape in the house, anyway, I—“ Blue visibly caught himself and cleared his throat, “but of course, it’s his house. Are you staying for dinner?” “wouldn’t have come over at dinnertime if i wasn’t,” Stretch said easily. He straddled one of the dining room chairs, ignoring his brother’s fussing about sitting properly, honestly, Papy! Jeff only watched, bemused. He wasn’t sure what show Red wanted Stretch to watch, but this one never failed to amuse. Any time Blue said anything remotely like a slight against Edge, Stretch’s version of a punishment was being a passive-aggressive annoyance. It made him wonder if Blue actually knew exactly what Stretch was doing and simply accepted it as his due. An unspoken language shared between brothers. His phone buzzing again made Jeff frown and he looked down. It was an unknown number again. can you meet me in the cafeteria at noon? He didn’t think that would be a problem and texted back a quick affirmative. Another brisk knock at the door and it was a wonder that he hadn’t known immediately that it wasn’t Antwan the first time. Stretch’s knock was lazily rhythmic and Antwan’s a firm rap that announced his presence better than a fanfare. Not that Jeff minded; he kinda liked the forewarning, the better to appreciate Antwan when he came in. He usually came in his business suit, and yeah, that was pretty mouthwatering in a Risky Business sort of way. Better to Jeff’s way of thinking was days like today, when he stopped to change into casual clothes before coming over. Jeans and a soft pullover, and Jeff wanted to cling to him the same way that denim did. He wanted to snuggled into that pullover, breathe in his cologne and the familiar scent of his laundry detergent. He settled for a smile, widening as Antwan immediately strode over to give him a kiss. Um, okay, more like a kiss, with more enthusiasm and a hell of a lot more tongue than he usually gave for a simple hello. Not that Jeff was about to turn it down, he clung like Antwan was a life raft and he was drowning, heedless of their audience. Blue only cleared his throat and Stretch finally called, “the food is getting cold, romeo!” That wasn’t enough to stop him and Jeff knew it was rude, but he wasn’t much inclined to pull away either. Not from Antwan’s mouth, not from Antwan at all, he could stay here all night and to hell with dinner. His phone buzzing did what all the impatient huffs behind them didn’t. Antwan finally pulled away with a last, soft kiss, whispering to Jeff, “Is that important?” “It’s probably just Red again,” he whispered back. And, okay, maybe he’d said it deliberately, a test of sorts, but he couldn’t tell if Antwan’s expression was passing or failing from the way he scowled irritably. “What the hell does he want?” “Security stuff,” Jeff shrugged. Some of Stretch’s pettiness might be rubbing off on him because he left it at that, glancing at the text. scratch that, why don’t we go out to lunch. less chance of being overheard Sure, Jeff texted back. He gave Antwan’s sulky mouth a last peck and went into the dining room. The table was laden with a large casserole dish with rich gravy still bubbling, a basket filled with fluffy biscuits and a variety of vegetable side dishes. Stretch was already filling his plate, moaning his delight at the biscuits while Blue sat squirming with obvious happiness. In Jeff’s experience, all the skeletons liked to feed people, the ones who cooked most of all, and Jeff was more than happy to do his part for them. Conversation was put on hold in exchange for eating and for long moments there was only forks scraping plates and hums of appreciation. It wasn’t until they were on seconds that Blue spoke up to ask, “So, Jeff, what was it you needed to see Red about today that was so important?” “Um,” Jeff kept his gaze on his plate, because if he looked at Stretch, there was no doubt his friend would guess immediately. He couldn’t be sure that Stretch wouldn’t appreciate him meddling, he could be really moody about anyone being overprotective. If he was going to tell him, Jeff preferred it to be the only two of them rather than having Blue and Antwan laser-gazing him down. His phone buzzing saved him from answering. He started to reach for it and hesitated; he didn’t really want to be quite as passive aggressive as Stretch. “Oh, go ahead,” Blue sighed. “Antwan lives on his phone whether or not we’re at the table, anyway.” Normally, that would get a smart remark, maybe a little pointed sarcasm that making sure people weren’t stuck in jail was more important than dessert, but Antwan only watched mutely as Jeff checked the message. italian? mexican? I like Thai better, Jeff sent back and set his phone aside. “well?” Stretch asked, lazily amused. “what did red want this time?” “What makes you think it was Red?” Jeff hedged. “oh, no, don’t even try, you do not want to play this game with me, i’m way better than you are,” Stretch leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Try what?” Jeff said, purely innocent. “what did the little gremlin waaaaant,” Stretch sang out. “what did he want, what did he want, what did he want—“ “Papy, Jeff doesn’t need to tell us his personal business,” Blue said primly. As if his starry eye lights weren’t blown wide with curiosity, the traitor. “maybe jeff doesn’t, but andy is dying to say. c’mon, spill.” “He wanted to know if I liked Mexican or Italian,” Jeff admitted. “pfft, whatever,” Stretch sniffed, a pretty remarkable feat without a nose, “a true friend would know you’re not keen on either. too much from the tomato branch of the nightshade family.” “I can’t really say I like eating from any other branch related to nightshade, either.”

“You love mashed potatoes,” Blue pointed out. “give eggplant a try,” Stretch added, “edge makes a great—“ “Why is Red inviting you out for lunch,” Antwan burst out. That irritation from earlier seemed like a minor glitch in the Matrix compared to now. Visibly flustered, nothing of the cool, competent lawyer showing. “Security reasons.” Jeff said again. He didn’t want to make Antwan mad, but, damn if something about this wasn’t a little thrilling. Dangerously so, Jeff wasn’t great at playing with fire, he might be getting burned if he kept it up. But for now, Antwan was glaring at him and Jeff only looked back serenely. He could go to lunch with anyone he wanted, thank you, even so-called gremlins. “lunch. in-ter-esting,” Stretch drawled. He slanted a sly glance at Antwan. “didn’t red invite you? you guys should be a package deal, right?” Okay, that made Jeff wince, a little too pointed. But Antwan stepped up to the plate and swung, saying, “Is that how it’s supposed to be? Because you haven’t attended many of the lunches Edge and I have.” Stretch’s grin sharpened; looked like Antwan hit a home run. “touché. you’re probably right, anyway. i mean, you never come hang out when me and andy grab some nosh.” “Yeah, because I trust you,” Antwan said shortly. “Do you trust me?” Quietly. Because this was funny, but. Yeah. Jeff really needed to know. Something hot twisting in his chest slowly unraveled as Antwan gave him a stricken look. “Of course I do, it’s—“ A knock at the door interrupted him and Jeff needed to fight the urge to shout, ‘go away!’. This was an answer he damn well needed and he didn’t care anymore that Blue and Stretch were watching avidly. Before he could stumble over into rude, the door opened and Edge stepped in. His gaze lit on Stretch and without preamble he announced. “We’re leaving.” A chorus of protests rose, loudly from Blue and Stretch, weakly from Jeff, and not a single word from Antwan, who was looking down at his plate, his fingers pressed so hard against the table that the nail beds were blanched. Edge was unmoved, only crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, please.” “excuse me? i just got here!” Stretch grumbled. Blue looked like he’d bitten into a lemon, surely plenty of words locked behind his teeth that Jeff would hear later about Edge being too controlling, while in another minute he’d complain that Edge let Papy get away with too much. “And you’re just going,” Edge said evenly. “Neither of us are going to be party to whatever my brother is doing.” “but-” whatever Edge silently communicated made Stretch trail off. He sighed out, “yeah, okay, i’m out. sorry, guys.” “For what?” Jeff asked, bewildered. This whole thing was confusing, but he wasn’t really sorry to lose half the audience. Stretch only shrugged. “beats me, but i bet we’ll figure it out soon.” Stretch snagged his coat and slid it on. Then he stood still, smiling crookedly while Edge fussed over him, making sure he had the hood up against the evening chill. A last wave and he was out the door, Edge at his heels and the last glance Edge gave Antwan was so incongruous on his angular face at first Jeff didn’t recognize it for what it was. Helpless apology and whether it was for Stretch, Red, or a combination of the two was anyone’s guess. “Honestly, what’s gotten into everyone!” Blue huffed out as he started gathering up plates. “Going to lunch with Red is perfectly fine, he and I go out sometimes! He’s a bit uncouth, certainly, but-“ The chime of a text sounded, but for once, it wasn’t Jeff’s. Blue broke off with surprise, hopping down to his feet and going to where his phone was set on an end table. “Maybe Papy forgot something—hm. That’s odd.” “What’s odd?” Blue frowned at the little screen. “Antwan, Red is asking me to tell you that his offer is still open?” Everything simultaneously made more and less sense. Obviously, Antwan and Red were having it out about something, and whatever offer Red had made didn’t seem to be for anything as simple as lunch.

Antwan stood abruptly with a rattle of plates and silverware. “Excuse me for a moment,” Antwan said stiffly, and he walked straight out the front door, shutting it firmly behind him. “Goodness,” Blue said. His round face was drawn up with worry. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.” “I’m sure it’s fine,” Jeff said slowly. He really wasn’t. “Let’s clear off the table.” By the time they were done and the leftovers neatly labeled and put away, Antwan still hadn’t come back in. Jeff wasn’t sure which way on the path to head, wait for him or not? But the tight knot of worry in his chest was giving him a lead. “I’m going to check on him.” “Yes, all right. Jeff?” Blue gave him a gentle smile. “I’m sure everything is all right.” He really wished he had Blue’s certainty. Antwan hadn’t gone far. It wasn’t quite dark yet, the sun at the crest of the horizon, but it was chilly. Antwan wasn’t wearing a coat, but he didn’t seem to notice the cold. He was sitting on the porch, smoking, the cigarette burned down almost to the butt. He flicked a glance Jeff’s way as he stepped out, but only took another wordless drag. Not inviting but not asking him to leave, so Jeff would choose his own adventure.

He stepped out, shutting the door behind him. “Stretch just quit so you’re taking it up?” Jeff teased, uncertainly. “He’s not quitting,” Antwan scoffed. “He didn’t quit the ten other times he tried. And I’m not taking it up. Quit a few years ago, but sometimes the need hits.” He took a last puff and then pinched it out. “Come here?” With one hand, he guided Jeff down to the lower step to sit between his feet, then draped his arms over Jeff’s shoulders, pulling him in before he could even start shivering. Antwan was big enough to practically wear like a blanket and Jeff snuggled in, basking in his warmth. Right here, he could be happy right here for just about forever. Except he didn’t think Antwan was quite as content, and Jeff hated to rock the boat. He’d been avoiding it from the beginning, clinging to the temporary.

But if Antwan wasn’t happy, maybe it was time to risk falling overboard. He had a home here now, friends, family. Jeff wouldn’t be alone. But, god, it was going to hurt to lose him. "What's wrong?" Jeff asked, softly. He felt Antwan inhale, long and deep, exhaled and Jeff could smell cigarettes and spicy, familiar cologne. "Edge told me once he almost lost out on everything by being an asshole,” Antwan whispered it to him, raw and low. "Please, don't let me make the mistake that he missed. Please stay with me." That…wasn’t like anything Jeff was braced to hear, and the pain in Antwan’s voice echoed in his own chest. He tried to pull away, to twist around and look at Antwan, but he refused to let go, holding tight until Jeff subsided. He could only sit on the cold step, Antwan warm behind him as Jeff blurted out, bewildered, “But I wasn't going anywhere.” “No?” Antwan settled his chin on Jeff’s shoulder, digging in a little, and he could feel as much as hear him speaking. “Baby, I don’t want you to stay because you’re afraid you don’t have anywhere else to go, either.” Jeff swallowed hard, okay, yeah, he could see how someone could think that; he was kind of needy, always wanting more, but, “I’m not. I’m really not, I swear.” “Shh,” Antwan’s arms tightened, lips brushing Jeff’s cheek. “It’s okay. Do you remember talking to me in the hospital, the day after your surgery. You might not, you were a little out of it.” “Maybe?” Antwan had been there a lot right after his surgery and Jeff’s memories of it were blurred through painkillers. Antwan nodded a little. “Do you remember telling me you love me?”

Oh. Jeff closed his eyes, squeezed them shut hard, “Antwan-“ “You don’t, do you. And you haven’t said it again, but that’s okay, because we both know I haven’t either.” Antwan sighed heavily, and his arms were strong and firm around Jeff, not letting him escape. Not pushing him away. “What kind of lover have I been that you were afraid to tell me?” “I wasn’t afraid of you!” Jeff blurted, because he couldn’t bear this, hadn’t even known Antwan was hurting and it was his fault. “But you were of how I’d react,” Antwan insisted. “Which means I’ve done a shitty job of letting you know how much I love you.” Hot tears were blurring Jeff’s vision. This…this was…“You don’t have to—“ “I do have to,” Antwan rubbed their cheeks together, stubble faintly scraping. “I do, because it’s true and I should have told you a long time ago, and now I’m losing you.” “You’re not.” A broad thumb stroked gently down the side of Jeff’s face, wiping away tears that were starting to escape from beneath his lashes. “But you don’t believe me when I say I love you and I don’t blame you. What do I have to do to make you believe?" The wet streaks on Jeff’s face were cooling in the chilly wind and he finally opened his eyes, ready to see what was in front of him. Tidy flowerbeds, the sidewalk, the road, other cookie cutter homes with their own flowers, filled with people he knew. All of New New Home, right there. Everything he’d ever wanted in life was coming to him, like maybe he hadn’t helped a Monster on the bus a year ago, he’d helped a genie and wishes he hadn’t dared make were still coming true. Friends, family, a job. And love, if he was brave enough to reach for it. Five years ago, Jeff might not have, two years, one year. But Andy had come to life in him since then and he was more than ready to grab hold. “I guess you should stay with me and keep saying it as much as you can,” Jeff said, and if his voice trembled, who here would care? “You’re bound to convince me eventually." He felt as Antwan suddenly laughed, the rich, warm chuckle that Jeff loved so much filling the air and taking the tension with it. He squeezed Jeff playfully hard, making him wheeze. “I think I can make an argument for that. You know, at the hospital, I asked you to move in with me.” “Oh.” Jeff swallowed hard with new dismay, he wanted that, he did, but he’d just moved in with Blue and— Antwan saved him, again, fingers combing through Jeff’s windblown hair. “I’d love to have you, but this is okay, too. Maybe take a little while and get used to the whole love thing?” Gentle, uncertain teasing. “Blue is a nice guy and I think having you here has been good for him. He and the other diplomats have a big trip coming up in a few months, maybe when he leaves, we can revisit the idea?” “I’d like that.” Jeff took a deep breath, let it out, because it was his turn, drugged confessions notwithstanding, and he could do this. “I love you.” “I love you, too.” Terrifyingly thrilling to hear it echoed back again and maybe Antwan knew that, adding, “Get used to hearing me say it.” “It might take a while,” Jeff admitted. “That’s fine.” Warm lips brushed Jeff’s temple. “I don’t have anything else I want to do more.”

Okay, enough was enough. Jeff needed a kiss to seal this deal and he needed it now. He squirmed free of Antwan’s grabby hold, fumbling his way to his knees and kissing him before he even caught his balance. Let Antwan keep him from falling off the step, pulling him in close, cupping his face in large, warm hands. His mouth was hot, his lips cold, and Jeff slipped both arms around Antwan and held on tight. He was still lost in that heady kiss when his phone buzzed again. Jeff ignored it. He had everything he needed for now right here.

Lunch could wait.

-finis-

[queensdivas]

Otters Part 1

I’ve been cooking this up for a little while and figured why not! Hope y’all enjoy because this has been really really cute to write so far. And this is part one out of..god knows how many. Enjoy!!!! 

P.s. If you wanna be added to the taglist hmu!!!!!! And if you got request also HMU!!!!

Masterlist

Part 1

Bevvie came walking out with her blanket and stuffed sea turtle as Joe put the last suitcase in front of the doorway while you were packing roadtrip snacks in the tote. Rubbing her eyes then noticing she had on two different pairs of shoes on with her shirt on inside out. 

“I’m all ready for grandmas.” Yawning in front of us and Joe fast walking to her and scooping her up in his arms. 

“I can see that Bevs. Why don’t we pick out something that’s gonna be way more comfortable and shoes that you can easily slip on and off.” She nodded as he carried her back into her bedroom as you figured it was time to dress Joey for the car ride. 

You turned the light on into a dim phase then walking over to Joey who was entangled with his blankets and t-rex stuffy was tucked into his chest. You brushed his hair back to leave a soft kiss on his cheek. 

“Joey. It’s time to wake up.” Whispering as he rubbed his eyes then pulling his blankets over his face. If it’s one thing Joey got him his dad besides his looks, it was definitely his personality because you had the same struggle of trying to wake Joe up for work. 

“If you don’t get up, no grandma and you know how much grandma loves to make you those cheesy potatoes.” Bribing him as his head shot up and practically leaping out of bed. Running to his closet then trying to find his clothes. 

“Sweety here. You can wear your overalls and blue striped shirt since we’re going to be in the car for a few hours. Now get over here so I can help you get ready.” You grabbed his overalls from the floor as he put himself in them, then grabbing his striped shirt and helping him with the sleeves. His head popped through the top of his shirt and your finger booping his nose. 

Joey grabbed his stuffed dinosaur from his bed to then walk out of his room with you following behind him. Joe had Bevvie ready to go with our suitcase in one hand and her passed out on his shoulder. 

“We ready?” You asked as Joey grabbed his tiny suitcase that was sitting by the door as you grabbed the snacks off the table. 

“I think so. Let’s get this show on the road everyone!” Joe sung as he opened the apartment door with Joey following behind them as I turned off the light of the apartment. Double checking to make sure you had your car keys in your pocket as you looked at your apartment door. You put the snack bag on top of suitcase to take from Joe since he was holding knocked out Bevvie in his arms. 

Clipping down Joey into her car seat while playing with his dinosaur as Joe clipped the seat belt for Bevvie who had a tight grip on her stuffed animal. Thanksgiving was in two days and you had a very long ride to Charleston Sout Carolina since Joe's mom is out in California with her hippie community. So going to your family's house in Charleston was a better option for the kids at least. If you didn’t have those two little rascals you maybe would’ve gone out to her and partied hard on Thanksgiving. 

Closing the car door on my side then climbing into the passenger side of the S.U.V. since Joe is planning on taking the first two or three hours of the trip. Joe climbed into the drivers side then we both looked back into the car to see our two little joys were knocked out cold. Grabbing each other hand then leaning into a light kiss. 

Connecting your phone to the bluetooth of the car so you could softly play Chopin the background so it could keep the kids asleep. It was Chopin, Debussy or even Hess that would keep your kids nice and knocked out for a few hours. Which was quite lovely for car rides such as this since you had to wait in traffic since living in Manhattan was as the world knows. Horrible with traffic. 

He pulled out of the parking garage onto traffic swiftly so we could get ahead start of that awful traffic. Pulling out your tablet and pen to start doodling on your current art project for you're next art show. You happened to met Joe a few years back as a street artist and were living outside of Brooklyn with a tiny apartment and three of people living in that apartment. Who you still remain in contact with since sharing an apartment with three other people make you very close. 

Shaking it off, and beating the devil out of it! Bob Ross’ words couldn’t be more true when it came to painting. Picking up your thing liner brush to then dab it into the light green paint to begin tracing the leafs. Putting the handle part of the brush into your mouth so you could look back at the weeping willows that was flowing in the wind for you. 

The next song on your speaker began playing which was Sweet Lord by George Harrison allowed a different kind of vibe in your little space so that you could be more light with your strokes with the paint. Humming the song softly to yourself as you dip your brush into the paint again then following your trace gently. 

“I really wanna see ya” 

“I really wanna be with ya” 

“I really wanna see ya lord” 

“But it takes so long my lord” 

You began to sing to yourself to reach down to grab the wet towel from the tiny bucket of water you had next to you. You’ve been wanting to paint this tree for weeks now, and it now being the right cooler and right weather outside. You weren’t going to miss this opportunity. 

Joe took a walk around central park every time when he gets a new role so he could sort of take a walk with his character. If that makes any sort of sense to a regular person. Usually this is the time for him to get ready so that he nailed each role that is given to him. 

Walking over the bridge to see everyone playing in the grass then his eyes halting right in your general direction. It caught him off guard for a moment as he watched your strokes and a soft smile you gave to yourself. He couldn’t help but wonder what you were painting then wanting to get a closer look at it. Without seeming way too stalkerish. 

He got closer then turning to walk behind so he could act like he was getting caught off guard by your work. Leaning in to see how detailed one of the leafs were, down to the point you could see the morning dew on the leaf.

“Holy shit!” Blurting out to her as she stopped her music to turn her head so she could get a better look of who was behind him. That damn smile was enticing him already and he hadn’t even gotten the chance to ask her name. 

“I”m sorry. I was walking by to cut across and your work..holy shit. It’s gorgeous, breathtaking, I’m running out of words here.” Joe laughed to himself as she gave him little nods then taking a step back so she could see from his angle. 

“You’re fine. Thank you and it’s definitely a work in progress and I only have so much daylight before another day like this comes.” She chuckled with tilting her head so that she could see the morning dew on the leaf. 

“Joe.” He held out his hand to her then she shook but took back when she realized that her hands were covered in paint. 

“I’m so sorry! Oh my god I’m so so sorry!” She began to panic then grabbing the wet cloth so he could wash his hands. 

“Dah you’re fine. Shouldn’t have tried to shake hands with an artist in the middle of their work. Silly me. Say um..where do you sell your art at so once this is done I can buy it from ya.” Joe tucked his hands into his front pockets as her smile grew a little more. 

“A tiny shop in Brooklyn called The Undergo. Not to far from 36 Avenue if that helps in any sort of way.” Grabbing a card from her book bag to then hand him one of the cards. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) was being read by Joe over and over again. 

“Well (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). Can’t wait to come by once that’s up and ready for sale. I’m Joe by the way. And I’ll see ya around.” 

“See ya around Joe.” 

“Should I go with the pine green or the more army green?” You asked quickly showing Joe your doodle as you were stuck on the bridge. Squinting his eyes at your doodle then giving you a slow nod. 

“I’ve got absolutely no idea. Go with the pine green.” You playfully smacked his arm then began working on the doodle. 

“Mommy..how much longer?” Turning your head to see Joey rubbing his eyes a little bit as you gave him a soft smile. 

“Sweety we just got on the road. I promise once we’re out of the city were gonna stop at your favorite breakfast place!” 

“The one with the smiley pancakes?” He asked while you gave him a small nod. He was about to say something but fell back asleep. Then looking over to check on Bevvie who was still sleeping soundly. 

“Do you think your mom would want to watch the kids one week for our anniversary?” He blurted out as you went back to work on your doodle. 

“I don’t see why not. That’s coming up isn’t it.” If it’s one thing you were great at, it was constantly forgetting important dates. The time you had your first date with Joe, your own wedding rehearsal, and almost all of your wedding itself. You had to write on your hand, put a string on your finger, and even placed sticky notes all over for your meeting with the small shop owner. 

You deleted the picture you were working on when a new idea popped into your head. You’ve yet to do something with your family. If you remember correctly, Mother otters tend to hold their babies on their chest when they’re sleeping. Not to mention they link arms in their sleep so they don’t end up drifting away from each other when they’re sleeping. It was perfect. 

“Your lucky I love you because you forget almost every single important date in your history. Except for the kids!” Joe laughed and you did because it was the truth. When it came to Joey and Bevvie. It was an instant click and you remembered the times and dates for everything. It wasn’t on purpose because you always tried your best. Just happened to be a little forgetful with dates. 

_____

Taglist: 

@mexifangorl @i-live-for-queen @leah-halliwell92 @rawyld

[ororowrites]

Erik Stevens x OC: Christmas

Pair: Erik x OC 

Warnings: Light smut 

I also have a T’Challa and Storm Christmas fic. You can find that here. 

“Christmas is on you,” Mrs. Thomas told her only child on Thanksgiving. 

Since that day, Karissa was prepping a Christmas dinner menu and decorating her townhouse to get into the holiday spirit. Christmas dinner had been a tradition in her family for as long as she could remember. So, she had a big job on her hands. Since she was an adult with her own spot, the Thomas Christmas dinner was now a major part of her holiday break from school. 

But, dinner and entertaining 5 of her family members wasn’t the only thing on Karissa’s plate. Her boyfriend, Erik, was meeting her family. He didn’t seem to be bothered, but Karissa’s family had no filter. Her grandmother didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut and often said something embarrassing to run off whoever Karissa was dating.

“Where do you want this ugly nigga,” Erik asked, holding up the black Santa she had just purchased a few days ago. 

“Don’t call my shit ugly. Put him on top of the coffee table with the elf,” Karissa pointed towards the living room while she stirred her homemade gravy. The recipe had survived four generations and she prayed she got it just right. “Baby, I think I’m going to need more butter and brown sugar.” Karissa knew as soon as she said that, Erik would have a smart remark ready. 

“You used those two sticks I got last night,” he questioned, stepping back into the kitchen. His short dreads needed some TLC, but she’d have to worry about that later. “What the hell are you cooking?” 

“First of all, we are black. Those two little sticks weren’t going to do anything in the first place. Can you please help me out and go get a few more boxes,” Karissa poked out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. 

“You owe me,” Erik said, planting a kiss on Karissa’s lips before grabbing his keys and phone. 

“Love you,” she yelled before he shut the door. To stay on schedule she moved on to items on her menu that didn’t require butter. 

Once Erik returned with the sugar and butter, Karissa finished up dinner while Erik straightened up the space. “I’m tired as hell now. I hope they don’t stay over too long,” she complained, throwing herself on the sofa and putting her feet up on the ottoman. Erik returned the vacuum to the coat closet and joined his girlfriend before pulling a blunt out of his pocket. He lit it and offered it to Karissa after he took a long drag. “You must be nervous about meeting my folks?” 

“Nah,” he lied, leaning his head against the wall. Karissa stared at him until he chuckled, “Maybe a little.” 

“Awww, baby,” she sang, playfully pinching Erik’s dimpled cheeks. “Don’t be nervous, I told my dad to leave the gun at home.” Karissa joked ,earning a side eye from her boyfriend. 

“I ain’t never met a girl’s family so I must be doing something right, huh,” he added, reaching over to grip Karissa’s thigh. Even after almost a year of dating, those butterflies still formed in her stomach from his touch. 

“I guess. You’re cute, that helps you out a bit,” she teased, passing the blunt to Erik and resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m worried about my grandmother flirting with you though. Whatever she says, ignore it.” 

“Damn, is grandma a cougar? You better watch out baby, I may be leaving you behind if grandma’s mac n cheese is hittin,” Erik replied, catching Karissa’s hand as she attempted to slap his arm. “I’m joking, damn!” 

One hour later, the family of five had arrived at Karissa’s small townhouse. Her father, mother, two baby sisters, and grandmother were all standing in the dining room when Erik appeared. They had been wanting to meet him ever since Karissa returned to Chicago glowing and smiling all over the place. Her sisters had been stalking his social media, showing their mother pictures when Karissa had nicely asked them not to.

“This must be Erik,” Mrs. Thomas said, grinning from ear to ear. Mr. Thomas was right behind her, thinking up some questions to pester Erik. 

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Thomas,” he extended his hand but Karissa’s mother pulled him into a hug. 

“We hug around here,” she hummed, stepping aside to let Mr. Thomas meet his daughter’s boyfriend. “Now be nice, Charles,” the wife warned, patting her husband on the chest. 

“How ya doin’, son? I’m Charlie, Karissa’s dad aka Protector,” the father greeted the 5′11, muscular man with a sturdy handshake. 

“Nice to finally meet you, sir,” Erik said, trying to hold his laughter when Karissa rolled her eyes dramatically. 

“I don’t see how your little fine self hasn’t knocked up my grandbaby. Honey, you did good, Nana approves,” the matriarch of the Thomas family blurted out, not caring about her granddaughters hiding their faces in embarrassment. “Come here, baby.” Erik followed her instructions and stepped into Grandma Thomas’s tight hug. Karissa and her sisters couldn’t help but shake their heads at their grandmother’s lack of filter. 

Erik then introduced himself to the twin sisters who were suddenly acting shy like they hadn’t been snooping on his page months ago. 

“Alright, enough of the hugs and kisses, I’m ready to eat,” Karissa announced, clasping her hands together loudly. Her family followed her to the dining room, still gushing over Erik. Well, everyone minus Mr. Thomas who liked to play the tough role. 

“So, Mr. Stevens, do you have any family in town,” Charlie questioned, passing the greens to his wife. 

“No, it’s just me. My parents died when I was a kid and I don’t know of anyone else,” he said, Karissa could detect a hint of sadness but let her father continue when Erik squeezed her hand under the table. 

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry sweetie,” Mrs. Thomas said, holding her chest in sadness. “Well, I’m glad you could join us for dinner.” 

“Me too, I normally spend the holidays working,” Erik explained. “But Karissa told me she was cooking and I couldn’t miss out on that. Right, baby?” 

“Meh, I’m not all that but I got a little something from my mama,” she bragged, flipping her braids. “But I think me promising that apple pie was what got him here. No one can pass up Grandma’s famous pie.”

“There’s more than enough for you, honey,” Grandma replied with a smile. “Looks like you work out a lot so be careful, it’ll pack a few pounds on you.” 

Erik placed a hand on his stomach, “From what Karissa says, I think it’s worth it.” 

“Yeah, if she doesn’t eat the whole thing herself,” Tamia, one of the twins, voiced. “Those pies never stayed in our house for more than one day.” 

“Hush, I saved everyone a piece,” Karissa snapped back, sticking her tongue out at her sister. 

The family continued teasing each other about the famous pie until Mrs. Thomas interrupted the conversation to ask Karissa about her schooling. Suddenly, the mood changed because everyone already knew how much pressure Mrs. Thomas put on her children about school. “How’s Nursing school coming along. I haven’t heard you talk about it since school started back up,” she questioned. 

The truth was, Karissa was no longer in Nursing school and had dropped out earlier in the semester to change her major. Prepared for a big argument, Karissa put her fork down. “Um...I....I’m actually not in Nursing school anymore.” 

The twins gasped, “Girl,” Tonya put her fork down, ready for the blow up that was bound to happen. 

“Karissa! We pay your tuition to send you through the Nursing program. It’s one of the best in the country,” Mrs. Thomas exclaimed, her voice going up an octave. 

“It’s not for me, mama. Would you rather me flunk out or do what makes me happy? I’ve always been into theater and I could go far with it if I-”

“Theater? You think we pay for you to major in something that might not take you anywhere? Do you know how many people actually make it into the industry,” she continued, suddenly losing her appetite. 

“Baby, she’s doing what makes her happy. That’s all that matters, nursing isn’t for every one,” Charlie added, giving his daughter his approval. 

“But it’s all she ever wanted to do as a kid!” 

“Now, Trice, you know that’s what YOU always wanted her to do. This child was putting on shows and dancing everywhere when she was a baby. You ignored that and pushed her into Nursing because you wanted that for her,” the grandmother called her daughter out, causing Mrs. Thomas to wipe her mouth and get up from the table. 

“I’m not about to sit here and let you all gang up on me. I want the best for my child,” the mother complained, glaring back and forth between her husband, oldest daughter and mother. “Do what you want, but I hope you know what you’re doing, Karissa.” 

The table went silent again as Trice walked outside the front door to get some peace of mind. 

“Don’t worry about her, she’ll get over it,” the grandmother voiced, patting her granddaughter’s hand. “Do what you love.” 

The twins went back to eating as Charlie shook his head at his wife’s antics. She was a complete control freak when it came to her children. All of them worked to please their mother but Karissa decided to finally take control of her own life. Her mother meant well though. 

Clearly upset, Karissa began clearing the table and taking used dishes to the kitchen. Erik decided to help instead of sitting in the awkward silence in the dining room. “I’m sorry about that back there. She stays trying to control my shit,” Karissa apologized, taking plates from Erik and putting them by the sink. Hot tears burned in the corner of her eyes. This was frustrating. Theater and performing in general had been her life throughout her childhood. Like today, her mother told her it would be hard to enter the industry so Karissa majored in Nursing. Now she had enough courage to chase her dreams and she was being shot down once again. 

“Aye, come with me for a second,” Erik offered his hand and led Karissa upstairs to the bathroom. He closed the door behind them and grabbea Klennex from the counter. “No need for you to apologize to me. Trust, I’ve seen way worse happen at family dinners. One of my boys’s had his sex tape released at a family New Year’s Eve party. Don’t fret,” Erik laughed, wiping a few of his girlfriend’s tears. “Like your grandma said, do what you love. You know I have you back so that’s not a problem.” 

Karissa sat on the counter, Erik quickly stepping between her legs. “You know I got you, right,” he repeated, this time leaning into her lips. She nodded, tears still clouding her vision as Erik’s lips touched hers. “Hmm,” he moaned, his tongue slowly melting into Karissa’s. 

“Erik...we...they’re right downstairs,” she groaned as Erik attached his mouth to the sweet spot of her neck. “Erik,” she repeated, this time it came out as a moan instead of the stern tone she was attempting to use. But her protests were ignored when Erik locked the bathroom door and continued the assault on her neck and collarbone. 

“We won’t get caught if you don’t get loud,” he warned, reaching under her pleated skirt and pulling her underwear down to her ankles. “Think you can do that?” 

“Hell no, E-fuuuuuuck,” Karissa squirmed when Erik’s thumb met her naked clit. He rubbed the nub while he kissed her, silencing any noise threatening to escape. “Just make this quick.” 

“Aight, I was about to be gentle with your little ass but since you wanted to rush me,” Erik teased, pulling Karissa off the counter and turning her so she was facing the mirror. Karissa assumed Erik was about to break her in two with how hard he was holding her hips,but surprisingly he entered her with a gentle push. She gripped the sink, watching Erik in the mirror. That smug smirk was on his face as he began to move his hips, plunging into her wetness and pulling back out. “Whatchu looking at me like that for,” Erik asked, placing a supporting hand on Karissa’s lower back. 

“Because you’re trying to be romantic and shit,” she replied, whining her hips in sync with Erik’s rhythm. “I know you want to fuck my shit up, don’t you?” 

When she got like this usually Erik would shut her up and fuck her hard like she wanted. “Nah, because your ass can’t be quiet. I don’t want your dad coming up here to take me out,” he pressed, pushing Karissa’s head to the marble countertop. 

A loud moan escaped her lips, causing Erik to shush her as he continued digging into her tightness. His warm flesh tapped her’s over and over, creating a light slap paired with their low grunts. “Shit, Erik,” Karissa’s whispered, unable to keep her hips moving when Erik held them in place.

 A knock at the door made them both jump, “Who in there,” grandma Thomas shouted, frantically banging on the door. 

“Shit, shit,” Erik cursed, quickly pulling out and pulling up his sweatpants. “You don’t have a second bathroom in this bitch?” 

“No! Ugh, how are we gonna get out of here without her seeing you,” Karissa whispered loudly. 

“I gotta shit,” the grandmother yelled again. “That damn potato salad ran right through me.” 

“Looks like we are just going out together,” Erik shrugged, opening the door even with Karissa trying to keep it shut. 

“Well I’ll be damned, that’s where you two disappeared off to,” the elder exclaimed. 

Karissa and Erik pushed past her with their heads down in embarrassment and irritation. Neither one of them got a nut and now Grandma Thomas wouldn't let them live this down. 

“Mmmm, that’s the way you mess around and get knocked up. How you think your daddy got here? Me and Gerald had some moments in that bathroom. Whew chile,” she laughed, finally closing the door behind her. 

“I seriously didn’t need to know that,” Karissa gagged. 

“Maybe we can finish what we started in the backseat of my car? I thought I heard your dad ask about some icecream to go with that pie,” Erik suggested, raising a brow.

Thinking about it for a second, Karissa took off down the steps. “Daddy, did you mention icecream? We can go get some.” 

Merry Christmas, folks! 

[gimmetheheadcanons]

don’t sit down, he’s moved your chair (1/3)

A/N: First Bonkai and barely edited so be gentle. Inspired by a funny post I saw on tumblr about purposefully hiring a nightmare Thanksgiving guest.

----------------------------- 

Break a mirror//Roll the dice//Run with scissors through a chip and fryer fight//Go into business with a grizzly bear//But just don’t sit down ‘cause I’ve moved your chair. ----Arctic Monkeys//Don’t Sit Down Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair 

---------------------------

1.     The Deal. 

“You won't believe what bomb my grams decided to drop on me three frickin’ days before Thanksgiving Elena!”

“Was it - now my child, you are getting too old to sit on my lap.”

The voice Bonnie Bennett found on the other side was unsympathetic and unmistakably male. She had been lazily pushing her shopping cart through the narrow aisles of a busy grocery store when Mr. Not-Elena’s surprise impersonation of her grandmother brought her to a sudden halt. Cue the chorus of irritated tongue clicks, a barrage of choice curses (all very colorful) and echoing groans from the shoppers behind her.

Bonnie ignored them all. 

Yeah yeah, we hear you, she thought as a train of angry customers and their carts passed her by, but only after an exchange of death glares as a final parting gift. No one wanted to be here running last minute Turkey Day errands. Least of all Bonnie. But she’d been bulldozed by her grandma and in no mood to be so agreeable again.

What a sham of a holiday. 

When she was done redirecting traffic with her free hand, Bonnie turned to the man on the other line – the one inexplicably answering her best friend’s cell. Feeling even less festive than she did a moment ago she made her demand for answers.    

“Who is this?” She snapped.

The stranger simply chuckled in return.

“I mean it pal.”

 “Pal?”

 Another mocking laugh.

 “They're your minutes.” The stranger declared before lowering his tone to be more sultry. Another borrowed voice, this time a phone sex line operator with the intention to seduce Bonnie.

 “Who'd you want me to be?”  

 Of course. The theatrics should’ve given it away, but then again ‘obvious’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘less infuriating’.

 Bonnie rolled her eyes as she figured out which idiot it was she was dealing with.

 “Oh God. Damon.”

 “Ding ding, well done.”

 Who else would take such delight in rubbing salt into her wound.

 “Aren't you too dumped to be answering your ex's phone like this?”

 “Eh we're trying the whole friend thing.” Damon Salvatore finally responded and in his own voice, flippant and full of trouble.

 Bonnie shook her head as she always did when confronted by Damon and Elena’s drama.

“And?” She asked but stopping short of adding the intended (and wholly judgemental) final part of that sentence: What else is new.

“It sucks. Massively.” Damon whined, and it was Bonnie’s turn to chuckle at his misery.

 It took her a while to warm to the man her childhood friend made the monumental mistake of getting romantically involved with. But Bonnie finally did and now cared enough to make a mental note to schedule another intervention for him once the holidays were over.

 The break up couldn’t have come soon enough and Damon just needed to hear that.  

 Still, it must’ve hurt like hell.

 “Tell me about it.” Bonnie said with a little more kindness. She too was recovering from the end of a rough relationship. There was somewhat of an odd camaraderie developing between her and Damon Salvatore and perhaps that was the reason for it – bonding over the shared humiliation of being jilted by a Gilbert.

 Except Bonnie was sure she’d gotten the short end of the stick. Her Gilbert, sweet baby brother Jeremy Gilbert, turned out to be a cheat. Damon, on the other hand, was far more culpable than Bonnie when it came to his heartbreak.  

  “You should hang up. Before she sees you.”

“Sees me doing what? What’s a little chinwag between pals?”

 With no longer a mystery to distract her, Bonnie resumed her shopping. Departing from her grandmother’s grocery list, she almost swept clean an entire shelf of sugary snacks.

Straight into the cart you all go.

 Necessary reinforcements, something to get her through the misery of the next few days.

 “Honestly you’re acting a little paranoid Bon Bon. What’s wrong?” Damon said, further insisting his innocence with an artificial sweetness that even Bonnie, with all her cravings, found a little too sickly.

 “So, we're just gonna pretend you weren't snooping around in her mail box? See who Elena's texting now you're supposedly done done.”

 “Ha! Trick question. She isn't texting anyone...not anymore anyway.”

 “Damon! You ca-”

“One second, got a quick text I need to send.”

 Cut off mid-speech Bonnie could still hear Damon in the background reading aloud the messages he typed out on his ill-gotten device. She’d been forcibly made party to this unethical intrusion into Elena Gilbert’s personal life.

 Great. More relationship awkwardness on the horizon.

  “New phone who dis…question mark. Send. Block. New phone who dis…question mark. Send. Block.”

 Growing impatient with his behavior, Bonnie tried to get Damon’s attention by calling out his name and a couple important facts about boundaries – all of which his disturbing ass chose to ignore.

 “Aaand send. Aaand block. Okay done now.”

 Damon was back.

 “Damon what di – ”

 “Hey, call me back on mine?”

 And just as suddenly, Damon was gone.

 -----------   Bonnie had been shopping for about fifteen minutes when phone rang. It had been a strangely peaceful fifteen minutes, the chaos all around the store provided the perfect backdrop for some pensive sulking. Deep in thought yet frustratingly unable to formulate a plan to get out of Thanksgiving dinner this year, moping was all Bonnie had and she was prepared not to have it interrupted by Damon Salvatore.

 Pressing to reject had bought another fifteen minutes of peace and Bonnie accomplished plenty with that time. Groceries had been paid for, then bagged, and placed in her Prius. She still no plan but the self-pity had begun to wane enough for her to want to pick up should the phone ring again.

 It did, whilst she was on route to return her now empty cart, and this time she answered.

 “Damon?”

Silence on the other end.

Bonnie cursed the pettiness of the man she could clearly hear breathing.

 “Damn it Damon. Hello?”

 When Damon eventually answered, Bonnie had her finger on the end call button and her car keys in her hand. The sun hadn’t set yet, but the temperature dropped significantly since she’d first gotten to the store. She watched as a wave of new arrivals fought over parking spaces, the escalating drama made it impossible for other drivers to leave further exacerbating the situation. By the carts, under a flimsily built shelter, Bonnie hugged her body against the November cold and decided to wait it out.

 “So bombs huh?” Damon asked, he sounded a little out of breath. He was somewhere outside too. Out walking. Bonnie couldn’t help speculating as to why he’d suddenly decided to brave the fierce frost.  

 “Where’s Elena?”

 “Oh I don't know Bonnie!” She could hear him shiver before he spoke and imagined his lips turn a biting shade of blue to match his eyes. Icicles hanging from his black hair and that stupid leather jacket, like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon.  

 “I'm not her babysitter. Didn’t you get the memo – we’re finished.”

 Bonnie scoffed before placing the phone in between her shoulder and ear to free up her freezing hands. She then pushed them into the warm pockets of her long, red winter coat and there felt around for a pair of thick gloves.

  In the end, she was only able to fish out one.

 “Fine,” said Damon, misconstruing Bonnie’s silence as directed at him disapproval. “If I had to guess I’d say…out looking for her phone.”

“Oh my God, move on Damon!”

“This is not normal behaviour!”

 She hadn’t intended on yelling so angrily that her phone nearly dropped to the ground, but Bonnie was furious. She’d just bought those gloves yesterday to match her knitted beanie, how could one be gone already?

  “Oh shush. It's perfectly Ross and Rachel, trust me. We're gonna get back together. Maybe. Probably.”

The battle for parking continued to wage on, as did the icy wind and Bonnie needed better shelter at least until one of those things passed. Defeated, she headed back to the store she’d thought she’d just escaped.

 “You know what Damon, the most disturbing part of that is you're probably right. But I got too much on plate for your drama so good luck to you both I guess.”

 Just inside by the entrance, Bonnie found a nice heating vent to camp next to. She flashed the large security guard at the door an awkward smile and pointed to her cell phone, pretending bad cell coverage was the real culprit behind her return.

 All she got in return was that menacing security guard scowl.

 Anxious to stay indoors, Bonnie found herself turn to the desperate act of pleading with her eyes; a survival tactic she picked up from orphaned pups in a kennel she volunteered at one summer back in high school. Every day there, she tried to adopt them all and every day she was told she couldn’t.

  “Helloooo Bonnieeeee?”

 She could hear Damon singing her name, off-key and right into her ear. Each time a little louder, little more annoying. But Bonnie couldn’t risk breaking eye contact with the guard. Her hazel eyes were beginning to sting, her face ached from the unnatural width of her smile; it growing increasingly more manic and pained.

 No one loitering here. Nothing to see sir, please move on.

 Strange as it was, it somehow worked. An incident came in over the intercom and the guard called to action. Bonnie could stay and not lose a limb to frostbite.  

 Thank God for Thanksgiving tantrums.

 “I’m still here Damon.”

 “Finally! So, what exactly did wily old Sheila do?”

 Crap, she’d almost forgotten it. The problem, still intractable and inching closer.

 “Oh nothing except invite my disaster deadbeat mom for Thanksgivings dinner. Three courses of sweet emotional manipulation followed by forced reconciliation over coffee.”

 “‘Tis the season I guess.”

 “‘Tis not fair is what it is.” Bonnie immediately howled back then felt ashamed closely after.

 Damon sounded a little more serious when he spoke next.

 “So…How many years has it been?”

 She sighed before taken a moment to do the math. Talking about the woman who birthed her then ditched her was always a sore subject for Bonnie.

 “Six and before that seven I think. She just showed up one night, stayed half a day and left before dinner. Pulled the same crappy move the time before that. Except, she brought me a stupid doll I guess.”

 “I was childish enough to think it was awesome.”

 The memory of that cheap doll flooded Bonnie’s insides with bitter rage. What she didn’t tell Damon was how she was pretty certain the doll was something Abby Bennett picked up at a gas station just outside of Mystic Falls. Bonnie figured that out last summer when she, Elena and their friend Caroline Forbes planned to take their college tour road trip. Except, she didn’t make it past Whitmore; somehow, even with all those miles between them, Abby managed to ruin that for her daughter too.

“Ouch. Sounds like mommy Bennett is gunning for the illustrious Lilly Salvatore Award for Monstrous Mothers and Their Tortured Offspring.

 “Ouch.” Bonnie said, meaning it. Damon didn’t often talk about his parents but oddly enough when he did it wasn’t with Elena. It was something Bonnie remembered her best friend call attention to night after night during the build up to the end of their doomed romance.

 He won’t let me in Bon. Each time, he either laughs or lashes out. How am I supposed to deal with that?

 As her friend poured out her heart, Bonnie poured herself another drink and kindly pretended she didn’t understand the appeal of shutting down, of keeping your loved ones out and precious sunny moments away from dark storm clouds of your past.

 “I don’t want to see her Damon.”

“So don't go. Problem solved.”

 “But I promised Grams. I didn’t mean to, but she worked her magic and somehow got to me.”

 “Then go and bail after you’ve had a mouthful of tasty bird.” Damon said making it sound all so easy.

 “But bailing isn't my thing. So…other options? Please.”

 “Fine, stay. All the way till pie, have said pie and chew slow. Very slow.”

 She was losing his sympathy, Bonnie could tell. Life was always easy for the Damon Salvatores of the world, consequences be damned. The only options were their way or their way but a little bumpier, littered with the bodies he had to mercilessly mow down.

 “I can’t stay either.” Bonnie admitted. Just the thought made her queasy. Being sat opposite Abby for an entire day, being made to bite her tongue or make empty conversation about God knows what. Swallow all that hurt then let it fester inside her for another six or seven years until it bubbled up to the surface at the most inconvenient of times.  

 No, Bonnie wouldn’t be able to stomach it.

 “Then we’re back to option a) Don't frickin’ go.”

 “But Grams -”

 “Well then that sounds like a you problem Bon. I gave you all your choices. Now pick one or call a friend.”

 “I thought I was calling a frie – hello? Damon? Hello?”

 A cold dial tone emitted from her cell. Damon’s voice was long gone, and Bonnie was left standing with one less thing to be thankful for on this crappy holiday – her so called friends.

 “Jerk. What did I even expect?” Bonnie found herself muttering, at first angrily and then louder.

 “Not meaningful advice. Oh no! Never from you Damon, you bloodsucking cold-eyed asshole!”

 With her call completed, her nemesis the store security guard reappeared ready to add to Bonnie’s misery and kick her outside to either face the mayhem or mace-like wind.

 “Ma’am, you’re not buying so I want you out of here.”

 “I’m going! Jeez, just give me a second.”

 “Sure, you were.” He snorted as he grabbed Bonnie by her arm and without warning began to steer her towards the exit. When she resisted the niceties were dropped.  

 “Out. Now.”

 Bonnie was about to give the unreasonable man a piece of her mind and teach him a thing or two about personal space when another person got there first.

 An onlooker, male, maybe college-aged and casually munching on a bag of what looked like pork rinds.

 “Hey man,” He called out to the security guard, his voice light and non-confrontational. “You wanna back off a little? Really wouldn’t wanna lose a hand.”

 The guard stopped long enough for Bonnie to free herself from his grip. He watched the guy with wary eyes as if trying to discern if an actual threat was being made. Bonnie understood the hesitation, there was something off about the way the words were delivered and yet on the surface Pork Rind Guy seemed only interested in consuming his gross snack. The relaxed grin he wore on his face, akin to that of an entertained moviegoer not a someone roaring for a throw down with a much larger man.

 Every so often, in between bites, he’d attempt to throw a piece in the air and catch it with his mouth but be left smacking his lips at air like a fish; each portion bouncing right off the short brown hairs on his head and onto the floor. There, he’d kick at them with the grim looking muddy sneakers he wore on his feet.

 He was a child, a man yes, but barely.

 A nuisance.

Bonnie could tell the guard decided the same thing and was ready to dismiss the interfering stranger as such when Pork Rind Guy opened his mouth to speak again.

 “Yeah…especially that one.” He said pointing at the guard’s left hand. “With it being so close to the holidays you’re gonna wanna keep the company.”

 Bonnie’s eyes widened.

 With a twinkle in his blue eyes and no regrets, Pork Rind Guy made a lewd gesture with his own left hand and laughed.

 It was a great laugh. Free and big. The kind of laugh you’d hear as you passed a playground. Yet, Bonnie felt embarrassed by it and everything else about him. The gesture included. It was immature, meant to grate on you and it made her cringe a little.

 The gesture had a different impact on the guard. His face flushed red with anger and Bonnie knew it was time to throw in the towel and just go.

 As she used the distraction to quietly slip away, she could hear the burly security guard bark at the younger man and Pork Rind Guy’s response made her smile a little.

 “You need to get out of my face son.”

“Could you like – not wave that so close to my face?”

 “Get out of here! Right now!”

 Bonnie glanced back just in time to see Pork Rind Guy throw her a wink. It came right after he’d finally succeeded in catching a pork rind with his mouth.

 How childish, Bonnie thought, shaking her head but this time smiling a lot.

 ----------------

 By the time Bonnie got close to her car, the traffic situation had died down considerably and she didn’t expect to be held up much longer; and yet, in typical Thanksgiving fashion, she’d been too hasty in giving thanks.

 “Hey.”

 Pork Rind Guy, materializing out of nowhere and coming in between her and her car.

 Startled, Bonnie frowned and looked around to see if they’d be joined by their old friend the security guard, finally able to do his job and provide said security.

 The question is, however, would she be needing it.

 Pork Rind Guy seemed oblivious to Bonnie’s alarm. His right arm reached deep into the jumbo bag of rinds he still cradled and not her throat like the parking lot assailant Bonnie worried he might be.

 If this encounter were going to turn into an NBC Dateline special then it’d have to wait whilst he hunted for crumbs.  

 When done, Pork Rind Guy cast aside the empty packet and finally addressed the perplexed person he’d delayed.

 “So I just wanted to tell you – before you go – there is always one other option. Bring a date. A human buffer.”

 It took Bonnie a full minute to gather her wits enough to follow what Pork Rind Guy was trying to tell her. She still didn’t understand how he managed to get away from the guard and out to the parking lot in time to catch her, why he did so and if he was a danger.

 Keys readied in her fist, Bonnie asked for an explanation.

 “Excuse me?”

 Pork Rind Guy smiled and again it was full of boyish charm.  

 “Someone to draw fire and guess what? I got the perfect shirt for that!”

 He puffed out his chest and pulled at the bottom of his t-shirt to straighten it out.

 “See?”

What Bonnie saw was a logo, right in the middle and against the blueish gray of the rest of his shirt. It was red and round, like a bullseye but probably belonged to a band she’d never heard of.  

 “Draw fire at dinner.” He repeated, and this time Bonnie understood.

 Pork Rind Guy was referring to her earlier conversation with Damon about Thanksgiving dinner with her mom.

 Bonnie felt a chill and it had nothing to do with the weather. Had their run in earlier been planned and if so why? She examined the parking lot for others and was relieved to find they weren’t alone. Several shoppers still close enough to call on if things got unsafe.

 Nothing about this guy felt right and Bonnie had heard enough. She snuck quick glance at the car sat behind him, her ticket out of this progressively creepy conversation. Good, Pork Rind Guy didn’t seem to be blocking the door. In fact, there was plenty of space behind him where Bonnie could pass him by and then get the hell out of there.  

 “Uhm thanks but I gotta go.”

 “Hey hey hey! Wait a minute.”

 In one quick motion, Pork Rind Guy positioned him directly against Bonnie’s door and successfully cut her off from her escape route.

 Bonnie braced herself for worse to follow, but was surprised to see him then, just as smoothly, step aside. Nothing about this guy felt right, Bonnie knew that and yet she didn’t get in her car and drive away.

 “What do you want?”

 His lips curled into a satisfied smile when she turned to face him.

 They were now stood a little too close for comfort. Bonnie could feel the hot air of his breath on her lips, see the goose bumps on the pale skin of his exposed neck and decided that’s where the sharp end of her keys would go if he took one more step towards her.

 But Pork Grind Guy didn’t. In fact, he fell back, held up his hands and apologized.

 “I'm sorry. That was weird right? Kinda? A little?”

 Bonnie didn’t respond, just watched him with narrowed eyes as he took it upon himself to tally up all the reasons why everything he’d done up until now was inappropriate.

 “No it's alright to admit it...that was weird. With me just showing up at your car like that.  Outta nowhere with all this information about a conversation we personally didn’t have. I know, I know. I’m an eavesdropper. I admit.”

 Another smile, brief and full of humor.

 “And then that proposition? Yikes! What even was that? No, no, no. No good. at all!”

 Bonnie relaxed a little but not enough to put away her car keys and retire her plans to go for the jugular.  

“Let's try again. Hi, my name is Kai. Well it’s actually Malachai but since I'm trying not to frighten you away with a name straight out of Necronomicon I think Kai will do just fine.”

 “By the way, have you seen that film? God, Bruce Campbell. What a guy right?”

 “Sorry, rude again. What's your name?”

  “Bonnie and I gotta head home now.”

 “I’m expected.” She quickly added, angrily wondering why she told him her real name. Was it because earlier, he was essentially asking for her home address and this was the lesser of two evils?

 Either way, she wouldn’t slip up again.

 “I need go home now Kai. It’s cold and I’m very tired.”

 Pork Rind Guy – no – Kai dropped his jaw when she said his name. It was exaggerated for effect, but she could see he was somehow flattered by the show of trust when she told him hers.

 “Bonnie.”

 He celebrated by repeating her name back to her, saying every letter with great purpose and pleasure.  

 “Nice to meet you Bonnie.”

 “Well Bonnie, it sounds to me like you were having a rough day. Got a bit of a situation at the home front huh?”

 “I wanna help with that.”

 Bonnie blinked as confusion set in once again.

“Excuse me.”

 “For the reasonable price of one home cooked Thanksgiving dinner. I, Kai Parker, will be your date.”

 “Eh yeah…No thanks.”  

 Bonnie felt a little relieved but also self-conscious, was Damon right, was this perfectly normal and she just not to used to guys hitting on her?

 “Oh no, you got it all wrong. I'll be your date. The one all girls sooner or later bring home to screw with their parents. I'll be the mistake.”

 Kai continued to explain, and Bonnie again found herself not walking away when she easily could have.

 “I've been told, on many occasions, that I'm every parent’s nightmare. Imagine, Grams drops a bomb and you Bonnie, drop a nuke.”

 Every parent’s nightmare, why did Bonnie have no trouble believing that. Kai was cute but on balance also a major creep with awful taste so no, of course most girls would have no interest in inviting him home to meet their families. End of November and he’s dressed like a stoner extra in a bad nineties high school movie. Faded t-shirt and long sleeves combo, three-quarter cargo pants and sneakers.

 In this weather.

 Who does that?

 Valid question Bon.

 “And why would I invite a perfect stranger into my home?” She asked him, for the first time saying more than four words. He must’ve noticed too, how her curiosity got the better of her because his face lit up like a Christmas tree. It was too soon for that crap, Bonnie thought, gripping her keys a little tighter.

 “Because that's the beauty of it! After Thanksgiving, I go back to being a perfect stranger. Who else can say that?”

 “No baggage.”

“No offense” Bonnie said flatly and with all the offense. “But that sounds like BS.”

 Kai appeared unfazed by her bluntness. As usual, the lack of warmth in her voice made him work only harder.    

 “If you ask me - which I know you're not but hear me out anyway – if you were asking me… what sounds like bullshit is having to spend Thanksgiving with a woman who gets to choose to walk in and out of your life at a moment's notice.”

“You should be able to the same Bonnie.”

 “That's what I think.”

 Bonnie inhaled deeply, thrown by the sudden sincerity with which he delivered that final line. She let a calculated stillness wash over her as she dealt with the sweltering emotion under the surface. She’d been affected by Kai’s words, the notion behind them appealing not to her but directly to the pain her small body had housed for all the years.

 “Pork rind?”

 Out of one of his pocket, Kai spontaneously produced a handful of the snack Bonnie saw him finish then offered it to her.  

 Bonnie’s eyes zeroed in on the lint particulars stuck to the grease of the rinds and declined.

 “I can see why you're so eager to worm your way to our dinner table.”

 Kai shrugged and stuffed the rinds back into his pocket. Eyes fixed firmly on hers, Bonnie knew there was another offer he was eager to see if she would accept.

 If not rinds Bonnie, how about retaliation?

  “What about your family? Won't they be expecting you?” She asked changing the subject.

 “Not if they changed the locks as they promised they would.”

 Again, Kai surprised her with his openness.  

 “Harsh.” Bonnie said yet not feeling the need to press Kai for any further details. In all her anger, she’d forgotten there were people out there who simply didn’t have families to spend Thanksgiving Day with.

 “Not everyone takes to my winning personality as you have.” Kai replied appearing to have sufficiently recovered from the solemnness of the moment.

Bonnie laughed and saw Kai’s entire face beam as if the sound of her laugh had been his goal all along.

 “Hold your horses buddy. I haven’t agreed to anything just yet.”  

“Sorry manners.” Kai said before he began to obsessively kick at the gravel and the dirt under his feet.

 “What is it now Kai? Dropped a pork rind?”

 Satisfied he’d made enough of a clearing, Kai Parker got down on one knee and held up a single pork rind in between his fingers like an engagement ring.

 Mortified, Bonnie’s face flushed at the sudden interest passing shoppers were beginning to show and the several prying looks being thrown their way.

  Kai cleared his throat.  

  “Bonnie, will you let me spend Thanksgiving Day with you and your family? I promise to be on my worst behaviour. Promise to shake your poor unsuspecting mother to core and show her the dangerous road her awful parenting choices may have led her beautiful baby girl.”

 A nod from her was enough of a signal for Kai to jump up to his feet and throw the absurd edible ring Bonnie refused over his shoulder; freeing up his hand for a more formal shake.  

 “Oh my bad.” He said only remembering to wipe the food grease from his palm and onto his pant leg after noticing the look of disgust on Bonnie’s face.

 That look didn’t change much when finally, clean enough to be once more presented to her, Kai simply held his hand up to his face and grinned.

 “Gotta make it legit right?” He told her before spitting straight onto his skin.

 “No backsies.”

One look at the wet hand in front her and Bonnie knew her instincts were right.

 Kai Parker was the worst.

 Yet any hesitation she may have grappled with since meeting him was gone at the mere prospect of her mother coming to a similar conclusion and doing so over a plate full of turkey at Grams’s house. With a grin of her own and a generous amount of spit, Bonnie Bennett shook on the deal; feeling for the first time all day, especially thankful for the perfectly awful Thanksgiving dinner to come.

[btsinspirationtakesme]

King of my heart (1)

Everyone and their neighbour knows that your crush on Taehyung has been the source of several cringe- worthy moments.  Too bad it’s unrequited, right? 

AN: Originally, this was planned as a super long one shot, but it will now be two super long two-shots! This is not too heavy, it’s really relationship, personal fear based and will generally be just a cute fan-idol two part fic. Guilty pleasure stuff for the world of fanfics. 

You were 16 when you first met Kim Taehyung. 

He was 18, in a band, and you didn’t know much other than that. You mostly knew of him, from his grandmother who your mother had made friends with ever since you both moved into the new neighbourhood a year ago.  

As soon as your mother learned that the grandmother was a fan of your mothers cooking, she had made it a weekly thing to send some stew or whatever delicacy she was cooking that week. She would also send you to check on her every week when delivering the food, not that you minded. You liked hearing her new stories about her grandson, they seemed much more interesting than life in this village.  She also sent you home with a basket full of sweet, ripe strawberries that would power you through homework. For a 16 year old, you actually liked having chats with a grandmother.  

This time, when you knocked to deliver some stew, the door had opened almost immediently. Thrown off, you wondered if everything was okay because it usually took the grandma a good couple of minutes to get to the door. Poor hearing had made her naturally less quick to respond to you. 

“Hello, who are you?” The boys deep voice pleasantly caressed your ears, and you looked up to find a really, really, strikingly beautiful face. 

You hoped he wouldn’t hear your heart. It was thumping more than it had ever in your life. Well, you swore it hadn’t thumped like that. 

Your mouth felt sweaty. 

He was tall, tanned and armed with a kind smile. 

“I…is grandmother here?” You asked, thrown off by his simple question. You felt some red stir inside your face. 

“Yeah, she’ll be back in a few minutes. She’s just gone to her friends house. Why don’t you come in? Are you the girl she’s been talking about, the one who brings delicious stew every week?” He asked, chatting away. Instantly, you felt yourself relax. He didn’t pick up on how nervous you were, or he wanted to put you at ease. 

“I’m her grandson by the way, her favourite one! My names Kim Taehyung.” He said, introducing himself. Ah, so this was the grandson the grandmother was always telling you about. The one that had recently joined a boy group all the way in Seoul. 

“Do you know Exo?” You blurted, without thinking. What did you do? You put your hands up to cover your mouth in embarrassment. 

To your relief, he laughed. He laughed in the most melodic, jazzy voice you could hear. 

‘Not too well…do you know Bangtan Sanyoedan?” He asked, hopeful. You figured going inside for a few minutes wouldn’t hurt too much. You could get to know who this boy was, and he looked like someone that wouldn’t usually be in a place like this. He looked so cool, and you just wanted to know everything about him. A fan had already been born. 

“Will you give me concert tickets?” You asked, hopeful. You were both sitting with his grandmother as she was picking strawberries to send you back home with. 

“Of course he will! My Taehyung will even show you the concert venue!” His grandmother said, excited. Taehyung smiled shyly.

“I will, as long as you remember all the lyrics to our songs!” He joked, and you eagerly accepted. 

That was the first day you met Kim Taehyung, and you thought it would be the last considering he was in an actual kpop group. Stuff like that just didn’t come into your world. That was why you let yourself fantasise about meeting him again, because you knew it would never happen. He was really funny, and he kindly told you to keep up the good job caring for his grandmother. You, being the 16 year old that you were felt infatuated with everything that he was doing. He would no trouble getting fans, you thought. He had just found one in you. 

You saw his band debut, and started rooting for him alongside his grandmother whose home had slowly become a house of Kim Taehyung’s achievements. You started to fall in love with someone that probably forgot you existed, as a fan. You learnt more about Taehyung from behind a screen, and slyly managed to get information from his grandmother about what his likes and dislikes were. You felt like you knew more about him than other people, secretly. Of course, you kept your information a secret. The last thing you wanted to do was expose yourself as the girl who lived next door to Kim Taehyung’s grandmother, and spill out personal information about him. 

Kim Taehyung had created a place for you inside your heart, and it would never quite go away. 

A year later, and the thanksgiving break had brought into your village a stream of tourists and people visiting their relatives. The streets were lined up, busy with people coming in and out of small boutiques and stores. You were inside on of these stores, an apron on as you were working a part time job with your friend at the local art store. 

“Can you believe all your pieces have sold out, already?” Hay-Jeon looked through the stock that was left. The pieces you had painted were indeed nearly all sold out, and you felt a burst of pride shoot up your body. You weren’t good at many things, but art was where you felt most comfortable. 

“Well, there’s still one piece left.” You said modestly. It was the piece that you figured only a BTS fan would purchase, and since this was a small town, kids usually went to the city to buy anything kpop related. No one would really suspect there to be an oil based canvas of the face of the boy you had met a year ago. 

“Ah, the BTS one? I’m sure that’ll go soon too, it looks amazing. “ She said, taking the canvas and putting it straight into view from the store window. 

It really did look amazing, you were proud of yourself. You remember creating the piece, and it was when you were in a state of wonder. You had seen and heard so much about this Taehyung, who you had met once. It had also become the moment of several cringe worthy moments, as your grandmother neighbour had always made a habit to point out how you seem flustered everytime she spoke about him. Now, your entire neighbourhood was convinced that you had a huge crush on her grandson. Not that you didn’t, but you didn’t want everyone to know.

“Y/N! Can you help me move these boxes!” Your thoughts were interrupted by your boss calling out from the back.

“Make sure it holds properly! I’ll be back.” You said, before rushing out the back. Your boss had set you the task of moving some boxes of paint into the storage room, which you were doing when your buzzer rang. A customer, Hay-Jeon was probably busy serving someone else so the buzzer alerted you of a customer that needed serving. 

You moved back to the front of the store to find where the customer was. 

You recognised him from his height alone, and that probably said something about how many times you had memorised things about him, like how tall he was. 

“Hello?” You said, catching his attention. He was dressed in a dark hoody in jeans, like a cover incase someone noticed him. 

“You really got every detail right, didn’t you?” His voice had become deeper, a sound of delight as he looked through the portrait of his face. 

“How did you know I painted it?” You asked, and he said his grandmother had told him you were really good at art. 

“Do you like it?” You asked, your heart thumping faster and faster. 

“Yes, you’re so talented.” He smiled brightly at you, like he was almost at peace seeing his portrait and being in this small little art shop. 

You beamed, praise from him sounded so genuine and interested. 

“I really like the way you figured the tone here and here…” He began talking about the nuances of oil paint, and you were surprised. He could sing, dance, act, look like an angel and now this. 

“That’s exactly what I was trying to do! it’s so nice to see someone understand.” You admitted. Taehyung gave a pride filled smile, like he was happy to understand you. 

“I hope you can wrap it up nice for me, I want it.” He said, winking. You probably felt light headed, he shouldn’t be able to do stuff like that and act like nothing had happened. 

“Really?! No problem.” You said, taking the canvas off the wall and taking it behind the counter. Taehyung followed. 

“Are you here for thanksgiving? Your grandmother sent us some really amazing rice cakes this morning.” You said, re-calling the delicacy that she had brought over. 

“Yes, I have a break for a week and today’s my last day. I’m spending it with grandmother and wanted to see the village, and she told me you worked here so I thought I’d come and see how you were doing.” He said casually, leaning against the counter. 

Kim Taehyung had remembered who you were and came over to say hello to you whilst you worked your little job. 

You hoped the smile from your face wasn’t too bleeding obvious to be seen as something else. 

“That’s really nice of you, you’re so busy now and making really inspiring music.” You said. “I really didn’t think you’d remember me.” You laughed. 

“I remember everyone I meet, especially the ones that help my grandmother out with her grocery shopping.” 

“Plus, grandmother told me how you’ve really become a fan. I wanted to personally give you these tickets too, like I promised.” Taehuyng pulled out two golden envelopes from his pocket. 

“VIP tickets, you can also bring a friend.” He said, and you could have hugged him in excitement. 

You tried your best to stop fangirling. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! God, you have no idea what it’s like to get out of this damn village for a while.” You admitted, excited you could go into Seoul even for a night. 

“Hey, hey, I’d be stuck here too if I didn’t move to Seoul. You’re talented, so keep working hard and you’ll be out of this place soon too.” Taehyung said, giving you a piece of advice. Little did you know, you’d cling on to that advice for a long time until you could move. 

Taehyung had bought the canvas and said goodbye, leaving you to work the rest of your shift. Hay-Jeon had come over straight after serving her customer, and nudged your elbow. 

“It was him, wasn’t it? The grandson of the grandmother next door to you, the kpop group one? Gosh, he’s so handsome! Y/N, he knows you too!” She said, putting her hands on her face in excitement. 

“Look, we’re going to Seoul next month!” You fluttered the tickets in front of her face, causing her to grab one and read the details. 

“Seriously, these are amazing- VIP tickets too, and for next month!” 

A month had passed quickly, and Hay-Jeon and you were currently outside waiting to get in line to be seated at the venue BTS would be performing at. You were both quickly ushered to show your tickets, and as soon as the lady saw, another woman came over and directed you both into a different direction.

“It’s always exciting for friends to come and watch their friends perform, you’ll both be given seats and then you can go ahead and meet the boys.” She said warmly, leading you to both a booth situated right at the top of the arena, giving a birds eye of everything down below. 

“He must like you, Y/N! He didn’t have to give VIP seats, but he did.” Hay-Jeon said after the lady had left. You were both secluded from the excitement of fans further down the arena. 

Your heart thumped again, at the mention of him. 

“You like him, don’t you!” Hay-Jeon picked up. “No, you really like him. Your neighbours weren’t just teasing you…yah, Y/N. You should do something, he probably likes you too if he invited you out here.” She said, trying to get you to act on your feelings.

“Aish, don’t give me any ideas.” You swatted off her ideas, but inside you were contemplating what you saw as the impossible. Did, Taehyung think you were pretty? Would he even like you?  

The lights had dimmed down, commencing the start of the show. You had no idea how those three hours had passed, but they flew by. You were mesmerised, dancing and just having a really fun time seeing BTS perform. Taehyung was always catching your eye, even when your tried to focus your attention on every member. It was the way he smiled at everyone, and just carried himself with an almost regal presence. It was admirable. 

“We get to meet them, Y/N. Did I tell you how much I love you? Honestly, I’m naming my first kid after you.” Hay-Jeon said after the show had finished, and you were both directed back stage into the resting rooms for the members whilst they cooled down. You laughed, linking arms with her as you both entered the room Taehyung and his bandmates were in. You were feeling worried about meeting him again earlier on, because you didn’t have anything to thank him with apart from the stuff his grandmother packed for him. Hay-Jeon had pepped talked you before, you had nothing to worry about. You liked him, of course. Could there be a small chance he liked you?

“Y/N!”Yeah, totally nothing to worry about. You loved his voice. 

You were about to answer, when someone sweeped into your view at strode over to him, planting a kiss on his lips. 

Oh. A foreign feeling pushed your thumping heart into a slow beat. 

“You were amazing today, baby!” Well, there went any chance of being liked. 

“Thanks, I invited a friend from my grandmother’s village today, you think she liked it?” Taehyung beamed down brightly at the girl he just kissed. She was beautiful, and they looked so well put together. You hoped no one noticed the slight frown on your face, you quickly took a glance around the room. Two of his other band mates were there, Jeon Jungkook and Jung Hoseok. You really felt star struck in that moment, and Hay-Jeon herself was shying away as she glanced at the other two. 

“Friend? Oh, I thought some fans got in back stage.” The girl laughed, before settling her eyes on you. You noticed her disinterest in you immediently, but she was a good actor. 

“Ah, Hyunaah, you can’t pull jokes like Jin-hyung!” The voice belonged to Jungkook, who sensed your discomfort already. 

“What can I say? He taught me well!” She laughed Jungkook off. 

“Y/N, what did you think? Would grandmother like the show?” Taehyung asked, still beaming from the kiss he had with his- girlfriend, you assumed. 

You felt like you were interrupting something, and by Hay-Jeon’s lack of speech, it was probably an awkward situation for her too. You needed to get out of here. It’s not like he was planning on taking you out, you should just thank him for the tickets.

“She loved it. I wanted to thank you for the tickets actually,-” You were cut off by his girlfriend again. 

“Taehyung, that’s so nice of you!” Taehyung didn’t even notice how she spoke over you, smiling down at her like he was in love. 

“Y/N’s a really talented artist too..’ He said, but his girlfriend started to distract him with some faces she was pulling. You figured it would be too difficult to get his attention on the gift his grandmother had passed on to you, so you hesitantly looked to his bandmates. Jungkook had waved over, so you walked over to him. Your legs feeling like jelly from all this idol interaction.

“I’ll pass it over to him. Thanks, he hasn’t seen Hyunah in a while so this is why he’s like that.” Jungkook said after introducing himself, you managed to come back with a thank you.  Hay-Jeon next to you clearly had a case of cat stuck in your mouth after her usually bubbly personality just disappeared. 

Jungkook noticed, waving his hand cutely in front of her face. 

“Hello, nice to meet you two.” He said, and Hay-Jeon snapped out of her little shock. 

“I love you, please eat more, and please don’t work yourself, and please just be you. I love you.” She blurted, causing Jungkook to laugh. 

“Got it.” He said, a crinkle in his eye from his embarrassed laugh. 

“I’ll see you guys soon, fighting!” Jungkook was awfully perceptive, for someone who came off as aloof from your fan-idol perspective. 

You took one last look at Taehyung, serenading his girlfriend before you left the room. On your way to the metro station, Hay-Jeon had sighed about ten times. 

“What is it now?” You asked, feeling slightly down from your evening at the end. 

“Nothing, I’m just wondering why Taehyung is such an idiot.” 

“Really? I’m wondering why I crushed on him for two years when he was so out of my league.” You said instead. Everyone probably knew of your crush on him. 

“Well, look at the bright side now. No crush, just focus on you.” 

“You really think he’s out of my league, then?” You asked hesitantly, a small part of you wanted to hear a no, you shouldn’t give up Y/N. 

“No, you’re out of his league. Y/N, they’re all cute, but we belong in different worlds.” 

That night, you let Hay-Jeon’s words sink in. Different worlds. She was right, your life and his life were different and he was just being kind giving you tickets to see his show. He had a life, and you were only in it because you knew his grandmother. 

The dull ache in your heart didn’t stop for quite some time though, and you loathed the sensation. Infatuation with someone who was just being nice, you felt awfully low. 

Another year had gone by. You were home for the summer after an intense couple of months studying fine art in Seoul, where you lived for the term months. A lot of things had changed in the past year, including being in one of your ‘real’ relationships. Sun-ah was a finance analyst and had been introduced to you through your aunt’s husband, who he worked for in the city. He was charming, a gentleman who really knew how to be…the perfect boyfriend. It was almost too good to be true, he would know when you were cold, when you needed time alone and when you wanted him. A small part of you asked why you wanted time alone from him usually, especially when you only saw each other during the holidays because of your schedules. You knew inside it was because of your crush on Taehyung that never went away, so you convinced yourself to find someone that could make you forget about him. 

After you had finished unpacking for the summer at home, you knew instantly who you wanted to see. 

“I’ll be back mother!” You said coming down the stairs.

“Are you going to see Sun-ah?” Your mother asked from the kitchen. You stopped in your tracks. No, you were actually planning to see your neighbour grandmother. You realised Sun-ah obviously, should be your first…person to see. 

“I’m going to just say hello to the grandmother!” You said, and your mother sighed before coming over to you. 

“You’re not in love with that boy, are you?” She asked before handing you a small sack. 

“I’m just not clingy!” You countered quickly for her comment about Sun-ah. You knew he had just gotten his yearly break from the office so you should want to see him, but you didn’t for some reason. You convinced it was because you had just gotten here from a 6 hour journey and could only manage something light like seeing the grandmother. 

“There’s stew there, make sure she has it.” Your mother said rolling her eyes. 

“He’s a finance analyst, he works for a big bank, he’s good looking, what are you waiting for?!” She pointed out. You knew she was right, Sun-ah was pitch perfect. Anyone else would try and make your relationship much, much more serious. You technically should. 

So why weren’t you?

The answer came in the form of who answered the grandmother’s door. 

Today, you noticed his doe like eyes first, perfectly shaped as they met yours that always seemed to be caught in headlights seeing him. 

“Hello.” He said, calmly. 

You pushed your hearbeat down. Wow, you hadn’t felt that in over a year. 

“Hi.” You smiled. 

He doesn’t like you, Y/N, doesn’t like you, doesn’t like you…

“Are you on a break?” You asked, trying to stop yourself just looking at him. 

He nodded. “We’re all taking a break before the next concept. I’m spending some time with grandmother.” He said, and you were reminded from memory that their next comeback was in a few months. They’d just wrapped a world tour too. Of course he was taking a break. 

“I saw some of the footage online, it looked really fun. You must be tired now though.” You said, and he nodded. He told you how he loved the tour, but that he was glad to have the chance for a break now. You didn’t want to know why you felt slightly relieved hearing that. You shouldn’t care, not when he had a girlfriend. 

Taehyung invited you in and you made your way into the grandmothers living room to find her. 

“Fresh stew, grandmother!” You said happily, seeing her sat down comfortably on the couch.

“Ah, just what I was craving!” She said, before coming up and taking a good look at you.

“Oh my, my, Y/N! Welcome home for the summer, I can’t wait to see more of your art.” She said, taking the stew from you. 

“I heard you’re dating the city boy, the finance analyst- is that true?” She suddenly asked, causing you to fee like crawling in a hole. Why didn’t you want Taehyung knowing? 

“Yes, Sun-ah”. You clarified. 

“Ah, excellent! He’s a fine man, like my Taehyung. He’ll take good care of you.” 

This had suddenly gotten awkward for you, since your crush on Taehyung had never quite died down, and now you really shouldn’t be thinking about him. Your heart shouldn’t be feeling so alive because of him. 

This was unrequited. 

“Ah, shy! Young love.” She took your lack of response for shyness, going into the kitchen to put the stew away. That left you and Taehyung. 

Taehyung smiled. “Finance”. He said, smiling, looking down. 

You nodded, trying to put a smile on your face.

“I should actually be going, I told Sun-ah I’d see him tonight.” You said, and your eyes had deceived you because you swore you saw Taehyung’s smile wear off quickly.  

Really, you wanted to just to talk to him. You wanted to know more about him, because you felt like this feeling of tension that you had inside of you, would never quite go away unless you got to know Kim Taehyung. There was something almost magnetic about him, and the way he smiled at you made you feel like he was shooting lasers inside you. 

There was something far too oddly person for now in his stare and that frightened you, and intensified your curiosity. 

You belonged in different worlds though, Hay-Jeon’s voice rang inside your head. 

“Really? Have fun, it’ll be great if we can hang out. I’m here for a while.” Taehyung said, bringing his boxy smile back up. The thought of hanging out with him sent butterflies to your stomach, and you tried your best to get rid of them. 

“Just call me, I’m two doors down.” You said in a friendly voice, hoping it would disguise all the other feelings inside you, like how your crush never did die. You were disappointed in your self, this wasn’t how you wanted to feel. 

You had gone to meet Sun-ah later that evening, at the local bar that the entire village frequented. He greeted you with a gentle kiss on the cheek, and told you how beautiful you looked tonight. You wanted to feel light, and fluttery, and all those feelings a girlfriend would feel with her boyfriend. You hadn’t been feeling like that for some time, and you assumed the long distance would make you feel better. Here, you felt worse. 

“I made a huge deal before summer break, jagi. It was honestly amazing, around $300,000 in real estate. You should have…” You needed to be a supportive girlfriend here, as your conversation with Sun-ah had gone into how his work was going after you were seated and ordered food. 

You smiled, encouraging him. You knew you didn’t care a damn about his deals, but you tried to. 

“So what have you been doing?” He asked, now playing with your hands as he listened to you. You noticed how he had a few drinks, which wasn’t really like him from what you knew. Maybe it was because he was working all the time, and finally had a break so decided to let loose. 

“I had my first exhibition. It was at the art gallery in Gangam, a mystery buyer bid $500 on my piece.” You started telling him about the exhibition, but you knew he wasn’t interested. You knew a good actor when you saw one. 

“What are you thinking of doing after the art school thing, it’s kind of…aloof right?” 

Aloof. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, it’s cute but you’re a smart girl. You’d do well in something like business, or law, or even finance. Art’s cute, but you need to be able to do something that really proves your worth.” 

Your worth.

Art was your life. All this time he had tried to sound really impressed with your art, like when you first me him. But, he thought it didn’t prove your worth? 

You looked at him down the last of his soju, and decided it was probably the alcohol taking over his brain. You were not looking forward to the meal with him, but decided to stick through it because that’s what good girlfriends do. 

“I think you’ve had one too many, Sun-ah”. You laughed off his last question, even though it really hit a nerve. 

Your worth. 

It was uncharacteristic of him, you decided it must have been the alcohol talking. 

After the meal, you had called a taxi home. You were slightly put off by Sun-ah’s advances, even though you knew you shouldn’t be. You dodged your head when he leaned in to kiss you, and you wanted to find his pout endearing. You really did. 

He was gorgeous. Anyone would want to volunteer to make sure he was taken care off, so why weren’t you? 

“Ajusshi, this is his stop.” You said to the driver, helping Sun-ah get out. 

“Mmmm, my little artsy girlfriend. Cute.” He said in a patronising voice, and you rolled your eyes. You helped him find his keys and kissed his cheek before making sure he got inside properly. 

It felt like a duty. 

That night, you couldn’t sleep. All you could think about was how the summer would go. Sun-ah was wonderful, but you knew he wasn’t making you feel wonderful. The first few months of dating had worn off, and now you just didn’t feel interested knowing about the deals he was making, or the office politics of his life. He was gorgeous, but your physical attraction could only go so far. When you managed to sleep after 3, your mind had decided to fill itself with the eyes of a certain person down the street from you. The one that you had to remind yourself belonged to a different world. 

The following day, your mother had announced she would be having a small get together. A BBQ with a few people invited, just to make use of the good weather and have a nice afternoon. You texted Sun-ah to come by, and had gone last minute grocery shopping at your mothers request to make sure she had everything she needed. After you had come back and settled the groceries in the kitchen, you made your way over to the garden patio to see who had turned up. 

You smiled and said hello to a group of your mothers friends seated, before you eyes had settled on three people you didn’t picture would be together. 

Sun-ah, Taehyung and his grandmother on one table. 

“Jagi!” Sun-ah waved over to you. You put on a smile, walking over to them and taking the seat next to him. 

You were opposite Taehyung, whose skin looked like the sun was caressing it out of love. How did he glow? 

“Omo, don’t they make the loveliest couple? Sun-ah’s lovely, Y/N. “ Taehyung’s grandmother was gushing over him. Everyone did, he was the epitome of a successful, kind, bachelor. 

“Ah, grandmother, you’re too much.” Ever the charmer, you thought. You were filled on what the three of them had been talking about, and it was mainly to do with Seoul life. Both Taehyung and Sun-ah lived in the city most of the time, so the conversation was pretty neutral up until Sun-ah asked Taehyung about being a musician. 

“But creative things…they’re a risk. I was telling Y/N this last night, she needs to find something that makes her worthy.” 

You suddenly felt embarrassed. Your neutral smile had just disappeared, and Taehyung was the first to pick up on it shoot a stare to Sun-ah. 

“I’m sorry, but what do you mean?” Taehyung asked, suspicious, teetering on the edge of his usually kind voice. 

“You know, things like music and art aren’t real industries. Maybe for you, it worked. You’re good looking, you sing well, but over here, after art school Y/N doesn’t have a job ready for her. With art, she’s not worthy.” He explained as if it was a matter-of-fact. Last night, you thought he was just drunk. Clearly this was how he felt. 

Taehyung’s grandmother was shocked. 

“There’s more to life than just money, Sun-ah.” She said, trying to explain. 

“Ah, yes grandmother. But sometimes you need to be practical.” He countered quickly.

You felt tears line up your eyes, since when did your perfect boyfriend become so mean when it came to the one thing that gave you hope?

“I think what you’ve said is wrong. Why is someone’s worth defined by what job they love doing?” Taehyung said sharply. He looked seriously at Sun-ah, losing all signs of the boxy smile you loved. 

“Y/N’s art work has been praised by a lot of people, especially one of her water colours of the sky line.” Taehyung said passionately. Your ears popped up, the water colour of the sky line was the piece that got bought by an anonymous buyer at your first exhibition?

Before you could say anything, your mother had come round bearing food. 

“Ah, too much talking will make you all too hungry! Eat up!” She had joined you all, halting the previous conversation, and set food on all your plates. This was the first time she took a look at Taehyung too. 

“Ah, you look even more handsome in person, no wonder Y/N had a poster of you in her room a couple of years ago!” Your mother didn’t have a mental filter clearly, and you felt the insides of your cheeks grow hotter. 

Taehyung laughed, breaking away earlier tension and glanced up shyly at you. 

“Really? I see.” He mused, chuckling. 

You were mortified. You prayed this lunch would be over quickly, because you had strong words to have with Sun-ah and questions for Taehyung. 

Sun-ah and you had gone on a walk before the little get together had ended, at your insistence. You wanted to find out why he thought your worth was defined by your art, or lack of worth in his view. 

“Why do you think art doesn’t make me…worthy?” The words were difficult to come out of your mouth. 

Sun-ah sighed, “it’s nothing personal, jagi. It’s just one of those things you need to get your head around. You’re good, but you’re no Picasso.” He said, like he was shooting down a business offer. 

Memories flashed of your childhood looking up to great artists, and aspiring to be like them. You remember begging your mother for one of the best art-sets to get you started, and how she had worked over time just to get you it. 

You remember crying and not eating over your art school submission into Seoul’s top institution. 

The emotions were too much, you felt too much and that’s why you couldn’t coherently tell him you had just reached a deal breaker in your relationship.

“I think we need time apart, Sun-ah.” You said what you could manage.

Sun- ah looked at you in confusion. 

“Why? Jagi, I’m helping you see sense here.”

No, you’re not. You thought. 

“No, I think we need time apart.” You forced out again, hating being next to someone that thought you weren’t good enough to be a good artist. He really underestimated how important art was to you. 

He noticed the tears bundling in your eyes, and instead of comforting you, Sun-ah sighed. 

“I’ll see you soon.” You moved away from his kiss, and he huffed. You watched him get in his car and drive away home when you reached the end of your walk, leaving you to walk the short distance back home. 

The tears had made themselves known far too earlier though, as salty water dripped down your face. You wanted to wait until you got home to ugly cry, but your mind had other plans as everything replayed inside your head. 

As you were about to unlock your door, you whipped your head around to see whose voice had just shouted to you.

“Wait!” Taehyung was a few doors down, walking over to you. 

He took in your teared face, which was speechless because of your silent cries. 

“Would you like to walk with me?” He asked softly, reaching your face with his smooth hands and swiping a stray tear. 

“I’m embarrassed.” You admitted. Taehyung took that as a yes, and gently pulled your arm in the direction you had just come from. 

“Why? Do I look that unfriendly?” He asked, a gentle smile on his face. 

“No.” You sad quickly, wiping some tears away. You both continued to walk in silence, and it was oddly comforting as you focused on the green grass, daisies and blossom trees on the route. 

Taehyung sighed. 

“Hes…kind of a douche, Y/N. “ Taehyung said, beating to the chase. You snorted. 

“He wasn’t always like this.” You said. “I thought he liked what i drew first.” You said. 

“Why did you like him then, was it his face?” He asked. 

“No.” You quickly countered. 

“His body? He works out.” Taehyung continued. You shot him a look in disapproval. 

“Then? What’s the substance to him? That man can’t appreciate beauty if it hit him in the face.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“Not only that, what kind of a boyfriend puts his girlfriend down like that? You’re better than that,” Taehyung stopped in his tracks and made you stand shoulder to shoulder to him. 

“I know I am.” You said. 

“Have you ever heard, how people live, get up out bed, go to work, all for the hopes of the arts?” Taehyung said insightfully. 

“Don’t let anyone demean what you make by saying it’s cute, Y/N. You deserve more.” He said seriously, trying to explain his point. 

Taehyung was awfully insightful, making you nod in agreement. 

“Then why are you with him, Y/N?” Taehyung asked, slightly frustrated. He said he understood Sun-ah’s appeal, but you striked him as someone with a little more…to look for. 

“He was nice to talk to, and I really needed to move on.” You said, but embarrassment hit you as you knew what it was you needed to move on from. 

“Who did you need to move on from?” Taehyung asked, fearing whoever it was must have left a mark for you to move on to someone you clearly didn’t like, just for the sake of it. 

You, you thought. You were in love with someone who you only saw out of luck. How pathetic. 

“He was a musician.” You said, lying through your teeth. 

“Ah, you have a thing for people who make music?” He joked, but you felt a hint of jealousy come out if you weren’t too confused. 

Y/N, he had nothing to be jealous of. 

“Yeah.” You said. “He…it was kind of a one sided thing, and I fell too deeply and it was impossible for the relationship to be returned.” You said. 

“What a blind guy.” He said, surprising you. 

“Blind?” You asked. “You see something that they don’t?”

“A friend with so much to give.” Taehyung said, and it gave you some idea of where you now stood with him. He saw you as a friend. 

“Thank you.” You said. You were friends, with Kim Taehyung. 

“Friends don’t let other friends cry.” Taehyung said, wiping another tear from your face. You wanted to lean into his touch, but you stopped yourself. Friends, right?

“Friends also tell friends when they need to ditch bad partners.” He said, stronger. 

“We’re having some time apart.” You said. Taehyung was about to say something else but he stopped himself. He wanted to say that you should just end it there, but he realised these were your decisions to make. 

“Good, that means you can spend some time with me.” Taehyung said in a playfully possessive voice. 

Your heart wouldn’t stop itself jumping. 

“What do you want to do?” You asked, quickly recovering from your tears. 

“I want to have a summer that people dream of…of eating ice cream at sunset, and going to the beach and going to art galleries and drinking iced tea…” Taehyung painted an aesthetic picture that sounded like the summer you wanted too. 

As friends, you might be tortured but it was what you were getting. 

You promised to not let yourself, fall for him even more than you had. 

“Yes?” He asked, taking your hands and holding them as his boxy smile and bright eyes gleamed. 

“Just pay for my ice cream.” You lightly joked, causing Taehyung to put his arm around you and embrace you in a friendly hug.

“All the ice cream you want, you’ll need even more when you break up from that douche of a bo-” Taehyung suddenly put his fingers to his mouth cheekily. 

“I didn’t say anything, let’s get you home Y/N. Our summer starts tomorrow.” He said, turning your directions again. 

Summer was about to get a lot more interesting. 

The course of the summer had seen you and Taehyung become, very close. it was becoming difficult to find boundaries. It didn’t take too long to break up with Sun-ah, who was convinced you were sleeping with Taehyung after a while and accused you of cheating. You were also having your own crisis, you knew you lied to Taehyung about what caused you to go to Sun-ah in the first place. It was eating away at you, you wanted to get it out because secrets could only hold for so long. 

What scared you most about this summer was how invested you had become in Taehyung, and how invested he had become in you. Taehyung knew where your art pieces were going, and you knew what songs he sounded good covering, and what themes he was trying to reflect through his song writing attempts. 

It had also made everyone in the neighbourhood convinced that you were both together. You reminded yourself how being friends was okay, but anything else would cause heartbreak. He had a girlfriend that you hadn’t asked about yet, and you both belonged to different worlds. 

Hay-Jeon had reminded you of it again when you ran into her last week. 

“Just be careful, remember how he forgot you last year, and how sad you were after?”

The thought never left you when you spent time with him. Everytime he turned his back, to get you extra straws or extra ice cream, you briefly thought about how wonderfully natural this would feel if you were both together. Then you were reminded of how that was impossible. 

“I have a question.” Taehyung asked this time. You were both having an evening picnic.

You told him to go on. 

“You said the guy you liked was a musician. Was…he notable?” He asked, curiously. 

You felt caught in headlights. 

“I guess so.” You admitted, fearing where this was going. You had dug yourself deep when you said he was a musician. 

“I see.” Taehyung paused. 

“What an ass.” He said. “How could he be so blind?” Taehyung shook his head in disbelief. 

“You’re really feeding my ego, here.” You joked. 

“Seriously though! Who was he, I need to have a word with him. How dare he do that to my friend?” 

“He had a girlfriend.” You added. 

“Yeah, but he shouldn’t had led you on like that!” Taehyung countered. 

“He didn’t lead me on, I was just stupid.” You said. 

“Why? What did you do?” He asked. 

“I thought I had a chance with him, but our worlds we’re too separate.” 

“How?” Taehyung pressed. “Is he an idol?” He asked, surprised. 

You nodded, exposing yourself. 

“Who is it, did one of my members contact you after the concert that you came to?” Taehyung said, protectively. 

“Nope.” You popped the ‘p’. You were going towards breaking point, potentially about to damage the beautiful summer you had been having so far. 

“Taehyung…” You drawled. 

“It was you.” You admitted, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted of  your shoulders. You knew he probably still had a girlfriend that doted over him, but you couldn’t keep it in any longer, especially now that you were both friends. 

Friends don’t keep secrets like that.

“Are you sure?” Taehyung asked, acting confused. You were thrown off, hesitantly nodding. 

“That can’t be right.” He said further in contemplation. 

“Why? You think I’ve mixed you up for someone else?” You shot. 

“No, you said his feelings were unrequited.” Taehyung said, coming closer to you. He searched your eyes, and your heart sped a thousand more than you had ever thought it could. 

“He-you- you have a girlfriend.” You reminded him. 

“I had someone for a month, a year ago. I broke up with her a week after you left.” Taehyung said, twirling your fingers in his hands. 

“Maybe you can decide if these feelings are unrequited.” 

Taehyung’s soft lips met with yours after he had scanned your eyes for any hesitation. At first you were confused with what had just happened, before your lips adjusted to his taste.

“Can I continue?” He asked, breaking away slightly. 

You didn’t reply, instead pulling him closer as his body had slowly positioned itself on the grass over yours. Your mouths kept themselves on each other, and as soon as  Taehyung had let a breathy moan out you had spread your hands to feel his broad shoulders and muscular arms. 

“Why are you so tempting?” He asked, breathily before pulling away and bringing you up with him. You exhaled, feeling dizzy with what just happened. Your heart was going into over drive and you felt yourself crave Taehyung’s body. His muscular arms and broad shoulders and just made you think of everything else he had to offer.

“Unrequited. Silly girl.” Taehyung said.

“Why did you have to be so complicated? You think I smile like this for every girl that comes by.” Taehyung teased. 

“You think I want to spend my summer with just any girl?” He said further.

“You think I invite any girl to my concert?” Taehyung loved teasing your lack of foresight. 

“You think I’ve asked my grandmother about any girl for the past three years?” 

“You’re not any girl, Y/N. You’re now my girl.” 

That was how things were looking now, and the rest of your summer was going to get even more exciting. You thought about how Hay-Jeon had said you were from different worlds, but you just wanted to live in the moment for now. Maybe it was because touching Taehyung had made you feel more alive than you ever had, and you had gotten to understand the ins and outs of his mind, and for some reason he understood yours too well. 

Maybe you were from different worlds, and that meant you could never quite be two people harmoniously in sync. 

For now though, he was in yours and you felt that was all you really needed. 

[mormonmommyphilosopher-blog]

My Abuser

I have gone back and forth for years about whether I ever wanted to share about my abuse in my blog. Today, while eating breakfast, it hit me, and I realized that I needed to. Not just for myself, but for anybody whom is currently going through what I am, or maybe is still being abused and doesn't know what to do about it.

My abuser, like most, was someone very close to me—a family member and someone I felt very connected to. However, the relationship was toxic, and was for my whole life. Only 3 and ½ years ago did I finally face my abuse, and my abuser, and end the relationship. The abuse was going on for over 21 years. And before it started with me, it happened with someone else—until that person realized she was being abused and got out of the situation—and then it transferred to me.

So much of what kept me from sharing my abuse story, is that sexual abuse, like mental illness, is still something that is taboo to talk about. But here we are.

To start, my sexual abuse was not all physical. To clarify beyond that, the abuse wasn't even physical molestation. My abuser molested me mentally and emotionally, by talking about my body, in teasing, joking, and praising my physical beauty—my breasts, my “voluptuous” shape, my sex appeal, and also about his body—how well-endowed he was, his sexual experiences, what turned him on, etc.

The physical touch only accompanied the verbal abuse—resting his hands on my waist/hips, rubbing and squeezing my things, and hugging me so tight that my breasts pressed hard against his chest. The last straw with the physical touch was at a family Thanksgiving party.

At every chance he got to hug me, I was sitting down, and he would slide his right hand, fingers spread, groping, all the way up my left thigh to my bottom. My husband, Jack, watched in horror as this person was grooming him to see how far he could push the limits without Jack intervening.

However, because this person was so loved and defended by me my whole life, Jack never reacted. Only after I was sobbing on the way home from the party and couldn't let Jack even put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, did he tell me that I needed to tell this person how I felt.

The rest of the way home from the party in Perry, Ut to our home in Layton, half an hour away, I spent my time writing a letter over social media messenger to this person about how I felt. I told him how uncomfortable I was and about how I couldn't even let my husband touch me because I was so upset. My letter was met with an apology that I felt the way that I did, but that those were not his intentions and that he only ever had the purest intentions toward me.  

After this incident, I decided to speak to a therapist to help me figure out what to do. Especially where, not only was this family member sexually abusing me, but had started grooming my 3 year old daughter.

At parties or visits, he would take my beautiful, little blonde, blue eyed daughter away from the group so that he could be with her alone—whether it was in her room, outside, or another room in the house, he wanted to be alone with her, and felt entitled to be.

Not only this, but the dirty jokes and teasing about my body started coming out while my daughter was around. He doted on her. He gave her gifts. He praised her for everything she did. He posted pictures of her on social media of them spending time together and about how beautiful she was and about how they must be kindred spirits and must have known each other in the previous life, etc.. Anything that I ever posted about her on social media, he would go on and on about her to the point that several people reached out to me and my husband to be wary of the way he was acting toward our daughter and that it wasn't normal.

For awhile, when my daughter was about 18 months old, I went back to work and even let my abuser babysit her, even though I knew what he was capable of. I don't know why I trusted that he wouldn't do anything to her, but these narcissistic abusers are very capable of persuasion, making your fears about them seem petty, and even that you, yourself, are the one in the wrong. There's a word for that—it's called “gaslighting.”

I still beat myself up for letting my abuser tend my little daughter, and then just letting him be around her for as long as I did in general. I don't know if he ever touched her, and there have never been any indications, that I noticed, that she was ever abused. Regardless, I will still never forgive myself for letting him be alone with her.

Four months after the Thanksgiving incident, I finally wrote my abuser a letter to cut ties with him. Before you read on, be aware that it is somewhat graphic. I have edited to censor names.

March 11, 2018

It is with so much pain and sorrow that I begin this letter. I'm not even really sure where to start. After months of deliberation, the last two weeks of discussions with my therapist, making lists, soul searching, scripture study, prayer, and the last two days of an emotional breakdown of battling my strong answer given weeks ago from my Heavenly Father versus my natural, temporal emotions, I have come to the very difficult decision to ask you to no longer be a part of mine or my family's lives.

I never want to see you again. And it's not because I hate you. Lord, help me! It's because I love you so much! I love you unconditionally. And I know that if I saw you, all of the good times would come flooding back, and I would want to change my mind! But as much as I love you, I have to remember my first priority. And that is to my family. To my little girl and being her parent. Her protection is my responsibility.

After what happened this last Thanksgiving, among other things, all of the memories of you saying and doing inappropriate things started resurfacing in my mind. I decided that I really needed to talk to a therapist about it. I've talked to Jack and a couple of close friends about some of the things that you have done in the past and none of them have been able to understand why I keep seeing you and especially why I keep taking risks with [my daughter]. I think Jack has always just trusted my judgment and figured that I would keep [my daughter] safe and not let you and [my daughter] be alone together. But when he found out that you like to have “one on one” time with her as often as you do, that really worried him.

From an early age you exposed me to a lot of sexual information. You let me watch sex scenes on TV and in movies. You told me about the birds and the bees in graphic detail. Once, right after I sneezed when I was a little girl, you told me that sneezing was an eighth of an orgasm. You told me what the “get yourself a spin cycle” joke meant from the movie “The Great Outdoors” when I hadn't even asked what it meant. You told me a story of a lady who used to put peanut butter on her vagina and let her dog lick it off in her kitchen and one time her husband and all of their mutual friends walked in on her. 

You told me that you had the biggest penis of all of your brothers and then told me whom ranked next all the way down the line. You told me that I had a “gum drop” nose and when I didn't understand what you meant, you explained it to me that it meant it looked like the head of a penis. You showed me a container of something once, and told me that that was how big your penis was.

 When I was in the third grade, I tried on some new pants and you told me that my butt looked good in them and that all the boys in my class would like how good my butt looked in them. After puberty you talked about how I had a nice heart shaped butt, and big boobs like my mom. Since then, most of the inappropriate talk has been about my breasts and their size. How I'm a “poor girl” because I have my “mom's curse.” “Ample food supply for [my daughter],” etc..

 When I was about 16, [my sister] and I were changing in the blue room at Grandma's house, and [my brother] was being a punk and kept knocking on the door to bug us, but we kept shouting at him to tell him that we were changing, when all of a sudden someone barged in. We thought it was [my brother], but it was you. Later you said that you didn't see anything except for my butt and the side of my boob.

 You told Me and [my sister] that you “knew” that I shaved “downstairs” and that she didn't when we were teenagers. There are many other situations, but these are just a few of the examples off the top of my head.

 You have also touched/rubbed my thighs on many occasions. It used to really bother [my high school sweetheart] and now it really bothers Jack. I have asked you stop both the inappropriate talk and touch before and you haven't. Not only that, but you have switched the issue back onto me as if I am the one with a touching/privacy problem—that I am just a “private person.” 

I won't mention all of the other things that I have heard that have happened with [the person you abused before me], [my sister], and with [my brother] on the matter of sexual inappropriateness. This is not what this letter is about, however I think that they are some things that you should personally reflect on and try to repent for. 

Again, I love you unconditionally. I've obviously been able to overlook all of those things up until this point because we have continued to have a close relationship where we talk and visit each other on a regular basis. But what happened on Thanksgiving shook me to my core. Not only was your hand continually sliding up my thigh with every hug you gave me, but there was also the fact that Jack saw what was going on, noticed how upset that I was, but didn't feel like he could do anything about it because of how much I get after him about needing to be nice to you. I cried the whole way home, and couldn't let Jack touch me at all for the rest of the night.

 I will always remember the good times, I promise. I will remember watching Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings with you. I will remember our discussions about books and music and movies. I will remember the camping, hunting, and fishing trips. I will remember all of the special, little, nice things that you've done for me, [my daughter], and Jack.

 I will remember all of the choir concerts and programs that you've come to. Don't think for a second that I have forgotten all of these things! I have shed so many tears in coming to this decision. And I know you love [my daughter]. I know you love her so much. And I am so so sorry. But I am doing what I believe is best for her. Because you care about her so much, I know that you will understand me doing everything that I think is necessary to keep her safe. My heart is as heavy as I can ever remember it being right now.

I love you so much. And I always, always will.

McKell

My letter was met with anger--accusing me of being crazy and a liar. I was told that no one would believe me, that I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it would break my grandma's heart to know that I could do such a thing.

I took his response as confirmation that I was absolutely doing the right thing. Not only was my abuser a pedophile and a sexual pervert, but a narcissist as well. And even just getting out of a relationship with a narcissist is a healthy step in the right direction.

I meant to keep the situation quiet and continue to have relationships with the rest of my family members on that side of the family, but my abuser took the matter to as many family members as he could and tried to convince them of my insanity and dishonesty. It breaks my heart to say that very few believed me, and that most everyone took his side, and I was ostracized from my family. Does it hurt like hell? Yes. Do I regret it? No. I know with all my heart that I did the right thing. I know that I'm protecting myself and both my now 6 year old daughter, and my 2 year old daughter as well.

About 6 months to a year after I cut ties with my abuser, he got in trouble for child pornography. At that point, a few people who were on the fence about whether to believe me or not, decided to believe me. However, surprisingly, so many people still believed him over me, even though I had never done anything to make them think I would lie about something so serious, and he actually has a track record of dishonesty, laziness, and stealing, among other things.

If anyone who has read this is going through what I've gone through, I am so sorry and I feel for you. Keep going. Know that you're doing the best thing for you and that is perfectly alright. If anyone who has read this and is currently being abused, I urge you to get out of that toxic relationship/situation. It might be so hard, and even life altering, but you're life will be so much healthier. You will feel safer. You will be happier, I promise you.

McKell Hadlock

[everlarkrealornot]

The PANEM Initiative, Chapter Twenty-Two

Sorry loves! Its been forever since I updated! I had meant to have this ready in time for Christmas and you can all see how that went since is February now! lol

Chapter 22

Katniss loved Christmas. The lights. The cookies. The comfy sweaters. The smell of pine and peppermint – she loved it all and so had her father. On Christmas Eve they would open their stockings after dinner, a new pair of socks or slippers, a mug, and a special ornament. Then they would stay up and watch a movie and drink hot chocolate. Christmas morning usually consisted of Katniss holding Prim back from waking their parents up until 7am and then tearing into their few presents. They would then spend the rest of the day eating food, watching movies, and playing games.

Katniss hung the now empty stockings back up over the arch way, touching each one before grabbing her new mug and slippers and carrying them into the kitchen. She had cleared out a few of the old mugs from their cabinet the other day, discarding the chipped ones and storing the ones they simply no longer used in the basement. She placed the three new mugs on the shelf and smiled to herself as she closed the cabinet – dad would have been happy.

She glanced at the clock on the wall, 12:23am. It was Christmas morning and Peeta was going to be there soon. She slid her feet into her slippers and hurried to her room to find a sweater, grabbing a crumpled one off the floor before going back to the living room. She smiled as she looked out the window and saw Peeta pulling into the driveway.

“Hi.” She held out a cup of hot chocolate to him as he hung up his coat.

“Hi.” He took the cup and wrapped his free arm around her waist and planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Sorry, I’m late…I wasn’t sure you were still up when I texted you.” He kicked off his boots and followed her to the couch.

“You said the bakery was crazy.” She tucked her knees up under her chin and sipped on her drink.

“Yeah…” he rubbed a hand over his face, “I’m not a big fan of Christmas.”

“Grinch!” Katniss playfully hit his arm.

“You would be too if you were forced to work every Christmas Eve.” He stared at his mug while he talked.

Katniss winced at his words – holidays were always special at her house but she knew they had been hard for him.

His grandpa had built the bakery when he young, just out of high school. Henry had grown up in the bakery and knew he was going to own it one day, but that day came much sooner than he thought when his father had a bad fall, breaking his hip and crushing one of his hands. Ryen was two when Henry and Ida moved into the house and took over the bakery. His grandparents moved into a small place of their own, which the boys visited as often as their mother would let them. Peeta had just turned 12 when his grandpa passed away and then six months later his grandma did. But before that, the boys had spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas afternoon at their house without their mother.

“I’m sorry, I know things haven’t been the same for you since your grandparents passed.” Katniss took his free hand in hers and squeezed. He smiled and sat his mug down on the coffee table before trailing his free hand over her exposed neck, moving her braid out of the way.

“It’s been five years and it still feels strange to stay home holidays.” He rubbed her neck absentmindedly while he talked. “I’m glad I have you now.”

“Me too.” She finished her drink and sat her mug down. “Do you think your dad will ever close on Christmas Eve? I know it was your mom’s idea to work it.” Peeta snorted and shook his head.

“No. It’s one of the biggest nights for us.” He looked at her and slid his arm down around her waist. “But working Christmas Eve won’t be so bad if I get to see you right after.”

He leaned in and kissed her, capturing her bottom lip between his. She grabbed the front of his shirt and held on, kissing him back.

“Wow,” she whispered when then broke apart for air.

“I missed that,” he said as he ran his thumb over her swollen lips.

“Mhm,” Katniss hummed in agreement.

Peeta smiled and leaned back in, but Katniss placed a hand on his chest, stopping him and making him groan.

“I have something for you before we continue.” She hopped up and grabbed something from under the tree. “As you know,” she turned back to him, holding whatever it was behind her back, “in this house we have a Christmas Eve tradition of opening stockings and even though it is technically after midnight, it’s still the night before Christmas morning.” She held out to him a red stocking, stuffed to the top, with his name embroidered across the top in green.

“I get my own stocking?” he asked as he took it. Katniss shrugged.

“Prim and my mom want you to feel like part of the family.” She sat back down next to him. “And so do I.” He cupped her face and kissed her quickly.

“Thank you.” He slowly tipped the contents of the stocking into his lap. He smiled at the socks with paint brushes all over them.

“My mom found those,” she said. “And Prim found this.” She held up his new mug.

“‘I’m not perfect but I’m a baker so close enough’” he read. “That’s awesome!” He kissed her again.

“There’s one more thing.” She reached into his stocking and handed him something wrapped in tissue paper. He unwrapped it slowly, a confused look on his face and then recognition dawned on him.

“It’s a cheese bun ornament!” He laughed. “Where did you find this?”

“I had to special order it…the lady had cinnamon rolls in store, but when I asked her about a cheese bun, she said no problem.”

“That is…” he sat the ornament on the table next to his new mug, “Kat, I love it.”

“I’m glad.” She took the empty stocking and hung it next to hers. “Merry Christmas Eve, Peeta.”

“Merry Christmas Eve.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground and kissing her. “Thank you.”

--

“It’s freezing out here!” Katniss said through chattering teeth. Peeta pulled her tighter against his side and ran his hand up and down her arm.

“It’s worth it!” She heard Prim say.

They had just finished Christmas dinner at the Mellark’s when Henry and Helen had excitedly had Prim and Ryen tie blindfolds over Peeta and Katniss’s eyes. They had been led outside and onto the porch without stopping to pull coats on.

“Okay! Take your blindfolds off!” Helen told them and they both reached up, pulling the fabric away from their faces.

“Surprise!” Sitting in the Mellark’s driveway was a green Jeep.

“Is that our new car?!” Peeta shouted.

“It’s not new, but yes.” Henry clapped his son on his back. “We knew that with Katniss’s new job, between the two families, we needed another car.”

Katniss turned to her mom and pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re welcome, honey.”

“Here,” Henry handed Peeta a key, “Go take it for a drive!”

--

Katniss stared in awe at the amount of food that was covering the Mellark’s dinner table.

“Do you really think you’ll need this much food?” she asked as Peeta piled up the cubes of bread for the cheese fondue. “I thought it was supposed to be a small New Year’s Eve party?”

“Rye and Bran got a little carried away with inviting people.” He smirked and popped a piece of bread in his mouth. “I know parties aren’t your thing,” he wrapped his arms around her waist, “but if you want to ditch the party early, I’ll come celebrate midnight with you.” Katniss smiled at him.

“That’s very sweet, but you’ve been looking forward to this party, so I’m gonna stay.” She pulled his lips down to hers and laced her fingers through his hair. He tightened his hold on her and moved his lips slowly against hers.

“Good god! Get a room!” Bran sneered in disgust as he pushed them out of the way so he could put more food on the table.

“Maybe we will. What time is it?” Peeta pulled his wrist up to his eyes dramatically. “Oh, party doesn’t start for another two hours?...We’ll be upstairs!” He winked at Bran and pulled Katniss after him, her cheeks bright red.

 The days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve were like a dream for Katniss. She would spend her days with Prim, watching old movies and playing games, and her evenings with Peeta. Since his open declaration of love, their cuddling had turned to kissing, which had turned to full on making out, which had turned into exploration each other again. And this afternoon was no exception.

“As much as I love laying here and kissing you, I am starving.” Peeta extracted himself from Katniss’s arms and legs and stood up. “Plus, just kissing you is killing me.” He found his t-shirt and pulled it on.

“I remember quite a bit more than just kissing,” she said, popping herself up on her elbow.

“That’s the part that’s killing me.” He knelt on the bed and kissed her again. “Come on, people will be here soon.”

“So?” She grabbed ahold of his shirt and brought him crashing back down on top of her. She captured his lips with hers and swept her tongue across his teeth. Peeta groaned as she ran her hand down his front and rubbed.

“Katniss!” He hissed her name in frustration.

“What?” she asked, giving him a cheeky grin. He shook his head at her and pushed himself off the bed, away from her wandering hands.

He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. “I love you…but you’re slowly killing me.”

--

where are you? – P

hiding – K

madge go home?  – P

yes – K

do you want to come play cards? – P

this introvert needs some space – K

k – P

ill see you at midnight – K

 *click*

Katniss looked up from the game she was playing on her phone, anger washing over her the moment she did.

“Using the office as your hideout?” Gale asked.

“Yes.” She pulled her feet off the desk and sat up straight. Gale scanned the bookshelf, trying to look interested but failing.

“Looking forward to your new job?” he asked as he sat down on the couch.  

“Yes.” She shifted uneasily in her chair – she was still pissed at him for the way he had acted after he found out about her feelings for Peeta. “What do you want, Gale?”

“I miss hanging out with my best friend,” he said sheepishly.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” she bit out. He stared at her in silence, a frown on his face. “Look, it’s almost midnight,” she pushed her chair back and stood up, “I’ve got to go.”

“I’ve been a shitty friend,” he said as she reached the office door. “I’m sorry.”

Katniss sighed and walked over to the couch, sitting down.

“I miss you too.” She leaned over and gave him a hug. He squeezed her tightly. “But, things have to change.”

“What things?” Gale asked as he let her go.

“You are going to have to accept that Peeta is in my life,” Gale started to nod, “…and that I like him,” she added. He clenched his jaw quickly before nodding.

“Fine.”

Katniss knew the next point was going to upset him and that his reaction would set the tone for their friendship going forward.

“You can’t come in through my window anymore.” She held her breath waiting for his temper tantrum.

“I always have.” He sat back and crossed his arms.

“I know,” Katniss agreed.

“Does Peeta have some objection to it?” he asked, an edge of irritation in his voice.

“No, but I know it bothers him and he is just too much of a good guy to say anything.” She wasn’t going to risk the progress that she had made with Peeta just so Gale could have things his way.

“Letting your fiancé’s feelings come before yours, how honorable.” He rolled his eyes.

“Isn’t it though?” She spat at him and stood up. She marched over to the door and threw it open.

“Katniss, wait, I’m sorry!” Gale called as he walked after her. She weaved her way through the group of people in the dining room and hurried into the empty kitchen, heading for the stairs. “I’m sorry,” Gale said as he caught her elbow before she could run away. “Katniss, please.”

“It’s not like it was before,” she explained.

“I know…I’m just not used to having to share you.” He gave her a small smile but she frowned.

“You still don’t get it Gale, you’re not the one who is sharing me!” She stamped her foot in frustration.

“I do get it! You’ve been matched – you have a fiancé, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have friends!” He gestured between her and himself.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,”

“That’s not what I’m saying…all I meant was that...I just…I just need things need to be less complicated.”

“Five, four, three,”

“And they will be,” he said as he took a step closer.

“Two,”

“You promise?” she asked.

“One!” The others in the dining room and living room erupted into celebration.

“Happy New Year, Catnip.” Gale leaned down and placed a small kiss on cheek.

“That makes it complicated, Gale,” she whispered.

“I know.” He gave her a tight smile and left.

Katniss sighed heavily and raked her fingers through her hair.

“You always said it was complicated.”

She turned and saw Peeta.

Buy Me A Coffee?

[zarcake-writes]

Overwatch Thanksgiving

Hello everyone! Have a Thanksgiving themed fic. I’ll post this up on my Ao3 later. But I want those who celebrate to know one thing, family isn’t always blood. And sometimes, family is shit. Spending the holidays with friends is just as wonderful. Hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: some angst, mention of child abuse

It was Thanksgiving in America, and you were one of the few American’s at the Swiss headquarters. Usually the holidays you spent at home, but you were not able to head home this year. So, you and the other few American’s decided to celebrate the holidays together. No one could decide on what to make, so everyone was bringing a dish they grew up with.

Gabe was making homemade tamales. You had helped him make the tamales but when he was making the masa he made you leave the kitchen. Gabe claimed it was a family secret and the only way you could see was if you married him, he then winked at you and you swatted him. Jack was making a small turkey, you were bringing two pies, and Jesse… well you were sure Jesse was going to bring alcohol or some type of potatoes.

You arrived at Gabe’s apartment with two pies and dressed in nice clothes, you spent an hour in front of the mirror deciding on a dress or pants. You chose pants and pulled on a pair of black booties you loved so much. Jesse answered the door and gave you his typical grin, the young man’s eyes went wide when you saw what you were wearing.

“Howdy ma. You’re lookin mighty fine, I’m sure Gabe will be happy to see you,” he said. Jesse gave you a wink and stepped aside. You saw he was only in regular clothes, jeans his boots and a black shirt. You glimpsed his gang tattoo, you kept telling him to get a cover up. Seeing Jesse dressed so casual made you worry, did you dress too nicely?

“Hello sweetie. Where’s Gabe and Jack?” you said stepping inside and ignoring his comment, yet the blush on your face lingered.

“In the kitchen. Gabe’s trying to control the cooking, and is succeeding in pissing off Jack. What type of pies did you make?”

“Apple and pumpkin. Why is Gabe trying to control the cooking?”

“Gabe doesn’t trust Jack’s cooking. Afraid he’ll only try to use salt and pepper as seasonings,” Jesse snorted.

“Ay Gabe. I’ll head in there right now.”

“Let me carry those for you.”

Jesse took the pies from your hands and you followed him into the kitchen. Gabe and Jack were glaring at each other, Jack was pointing a turkey baster at him while Gabe had his arms crossed.

“You touch my turkey Reyes, and I’ll kill you,” Jack growled.

“Like you can,” Gabe scoffed.

“Easy you two. Gabe let Jack tend to his turkey,” you interrupted them. Both men looked at you and smiled. Gabe was wearing a nice button up black shirt with his sleeves rolled up with a tight pair of black jeans. Damn he looks good, you thought. Jack was in a dark blue shirt with a dark pair of jeans. They were dressed nicely, and you relaxed. Jesse placed your pies in the fridge and handed you a beer.

“There you are, take Gabe out of here before I kill him,” Jack said.

“It’s my kitchen!”

“Come on Gabe. Jack can cook poultry very well, I’ve had his chicken before,” you said. You grabbed the man and pulled him from the kitchen and into the living room. You gave Jack a wink and he looked relieved.

Jesse followed you three from the kitchen and to the living room where Gabe had some silly holiday movie playing.

“You look very nice,” Gabe said to you softly.

“You do too. I thought I dressed up too much, especially when I saw Jesse,” you said with a nervous laugh.

“Jesse under dressed.”

“Hey, I didn’t know what to wear,” Jesse said. You only smirked and watched the horrible movie Gabe had playing.

Several hours later and the turkey was done and everyone was sitting at Gabe’s table getting ready to eat. Jack carved the turkey and Gabe handed out his tamales and Jesse surprised everyone with his diced potatoes. Jack asked for everyone to say what they’re thankful for.

“I’ll start. I’m thankful for you three. Without you three, I would be home right now listening to family go on and on about corn and farm life,” Jack said. He glanced at Gabe who rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I’m thankful for the food on the table, the roof over my head, and the beautiful (Y/N), who graced us with her company today,” Gabe said with a wink. You blushed and shook your head at him. Jack and Jesse rolled their eyes at you both.

“I am grateful,” you started, “For you three, and all the wonderful things in my life. And for my heater, it gets cold here.”

“If you stayed with me you won’t need a heater,” Gabe muttered. Jack hit him and Jesse let out a laugh. You blushed harder and covered your face with your hand.

“What about you Jesse?” Jack asked.

“I’m… I’m thankful for the second chance I got a couple years ago and for the food on the table. I’m thankful for (Y/N), who is like a mom I never had.”

“Jesse you’re going to make me cry,” you said. You touched your chest reached for the young man’s hand, he only gave you a soft smile. It was true, you did look out for the young man like he was your own son.

After that, everyone dug in and began to eat. Jack’s turkey was wonderful and Gabe’s tamales were the best you’ve ever had. Jesse’s potatoes were delicious, he admitted he searched for a recipe and he blushed at the compliments.

After a while of eating in silence, Jesse asked, “What did you three do as kids on Thanksgiving?”

“We would go to my grandma’s house and eat. I would go to her house the day before and we would make tamales all day, it’s her recipe I used. We made red beef ones, green chicken ones, even sweet ones. We made enough that we would freeze them and have them on Christmas. Someone would usually bring a turkey or someone made enchiladas or chicken mole. It was always hectic and someone always got in a fight. But we all ate and we always said grace and what we’re thankful for,” Gabe said.

“We did something similar. But instead of Mexican food, we had typical white people food. My dad would barbecue his turkey, and he ruined it every year. My aunt would bring a ham, my grandma would bring like three different cobblers and my grandpa would bring the turkey he made. His wasn’t as bad as my dad’s but we ate both. We even had those adult and child tables. It was terrible and the last time I was there, my grandma tried setting me up with some random girl she brought,” Jack said. Everyone laughed at that.

“My mom asked when was I going to give her grandbabies. I told her as soon as (Y/N) agrees to go out with me,” Gabe said with a wink. You threw a piece of bread at him but laughed at him.

“What about you (Y/N)?” Jesse asked you.

“Before my parent’s divorce, the holidays were horrible. My grandma, from my dad’s side, wanted us to go see her and the rest of the family, but my mom hated my dad’s family. They argued and we stayed home. It got to the point where our dinners would be awkward and tense. My siblings and I were afraid to ask for anything because of how angry our parents were. After the divorce, my mom just stopped celebrating, but my dad was determined to make the holidays special. I remember one year, he bought a ham and he made a duck. We had potatoes and those canned yams with marshmallows and our grandma brought some pies. That was a good year,” you said with a soft smile.

“I remember those yams. My grandma hated them,” Jack laughed fondly.

It got quiet in the dining room, until Jesse spoke up. “I only remember one Thanksgiving that I actually enjoyed and hated at the same time. I went to a friend’s house one year and it was the first time I saw how a family should act. I was eight and he was my best friend and I loved his family, and for some reason they loved me. I remember seeing his family laughing and smiling, his dad wasn’t drunk or yelling at his mom. His mom wasn’t ignoring him and speaking to him harshly. His grandma kept handing me cookies and saying I need to get fattened up. He and I played in the back yard with his cousins and I remember how happy I was. I ate so much and I remember his mom sending me home with a plate of food for my mom and I,” Jesse said. His smile fell and you saw he grew sad and his eyes welled up.

“Jesse?” you asked softy. You glanced at Gabe and Jack, both glanced at each other.

“When I got home, I remember thinking that my mom is going to love this food and maybe she’ll smile at me. But, my dad was waiting for me. My dad was drunk and when he saw me walk in with food he… he went nuts. He threw the food against the wall, I still remember the plate shattering, and he screamed at me. Said my mom was gone, she just upped and left us. And where was I at? I was out getting free food. I remember he said a McCree never accepts free food. Then he beat me, he beat me good. When I woke up, the broken plate of food was on the floor and I was alone with a bloodied and bruised face. I remember not caring about my face or my mom, all I remember is looking at the broken plate and crying. I tried to glue it together and that night I left it on my friend’s front porch and I… I never hung out with him again and I never saw my mom again,” Jesse said softly. Tears were running down his face. You reached for his hand and took it gently.

“Jesse,” Gabe said softly. Jesse looked from your hand to Gabe.

“Yeah?”

“We’re your family now.”

“He’s right Jesse. Family isn’t always blood. Gabe’s my brother, and I would do anything for him. Same goes for you and (Y/N),” Jack said.

“We love you Jesse,” you said softly. Jesse looked at you three and wiped his face.

“You three are making me cry,” he said with a soft laugh. You smiled and held his hand tighter.

Jesse helped you clean up, and he hugged you tightly in the kitchen. You hugged him back and rubbed his back. His soft cries broke your heart and made you cry. After the hug, you served up the pie, which seemed to improve everyone’s spirits. Jesse happily had two slices of pie and ended up asleep on Gabe’s couch, Jack was asleep in one of his chairs. You smiled at both men and met Gabe in the kitchen.

“Hello hermosa,” Gabe said pulling you close.

“Hello guapo,” you said softly. You wrapped your arms around his body and laid your head against his solid chest. You were so full and so tired, you were sure you would fall asleep on him right now. Gabe laid his cheek on the top of your head and smiled softly.

A cough broke you both apart. Jesse was standing in the kitchen looking embarrassed.

“What’s up Jesse?” you asked.

“So, could we do this next year?” he asked softly.

“We can do it together, just us four. Or we could invite our other friends and show them what this holiday means to us,” you said softly.

“Really?” Jesse asked excitedly.

“Yes.”

“Gabe, could we do that?” Jesse asked.

“Of course,” Gabe smiled.

Jesse smiled at you both and grabbed the apple pie and walked into Gabe’s living room. You smiled up at Gabe, he kissed your lips softly. You both broke apart with a laugh when you heard Jack yell about Jesse eating all the apple pie. Gabe pulled you back to the living room to spend time with Jesse and Jack.

[nocrying-offical]

Darkest Hour

I’m never sure where to start about my father. He’s a tall man, six foot one. Silent and solemn if he’s not angry. Alcoholic. Smoked on and off. Ex military. Easy to anger. Scary when angry. Played favorites with me and my brothers. He praised David but was clinical with him. He chose to spend time with me because I was quiet and, if something went wrong, it was Eli’s fault. Always. That’s how I would describe him.

I hid under my older brothers and never saw my father’s wrath because I was the baby. Most of our time spent together was watching TV or quiet board games. He taught me dominoes during a snowstorm, chess in the fall and even mahjong, something he picked up in his army days. I don’t know if he liked me the best, it was obvious he was the most proud of David, but I spent the most time with him. So… I knew. It didn’t surprise me when it finally came to.

Dad liked to drink and when he drank he was easier to set off. He took it out a lot on the twins and my mom by blaming them for things out of our control. Sometimes the cops were called because the screaming was so loud, especially since Eli would instigate out of confused anger. So, I think to ease things with everybody, Dad used to take long camping trips with his old war buddy, Adam. I don’t know how long they knew each other, my mom made it seem like longer than she knew him. But whatever happened to dad’s eye Adam was there for.

I noticed… Their body language with each other. The way Adam would laugh whenever Dad made a joke. The way Adam was the only one who made Dad crack a smile. They whispered to each other when Mom wasn’t in the room a lot. Adam was always there when the family needed him. If Eli got into a fight at school he would ease it over, if we needed new school clothes Adam would take us, if my mom started considering more shifts at the diner Adam would hand her envelopes with cash. He always helped with Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays… In a lot of ways Adam was like our uncle but… Brothers don’t act like Dad and he did. I’m not sure if anybody noticed that but me.

I was 11 when it happened. My brothers had just turned 14. Late June of 2000. The twins were interested in completing video games and enjoying summer. I was noticing both David and Eli’s shifts into becoming teenagers and not kids at that point. My relationship with my brothers was reaching this turning point and being the baby felt like it meant being left behind.

Mom was trying to do some deep cleaning in her bedroom, looking for an old pocket knife she promised Eli. She never found it. She did, however, find old letters in a cookie tin. Some were dated two years ago at the time. Some way back to the mid 80’s. I remember her crying so much that afternoon and Eli sitting with her trying to figure out what was wrong but, all she could muster was “your father has some explaining to do.” Dad was supposed to go on one of his trips with Adam that evening. So, maybe it was fate but I think there was never a knife to begin with.

David and I were taking turns at the Playstation by this point. I had the gist of the game down and pointed out a strategy Eli hadn’t thought of. So, while he was in the other room comforting our mom, we just tried to keep out of it.

I looked over to my brother, “Do you know what those letters said?”

He shook his head as I made my next move on the TV.

“I think Dad is seeing somebody.” I said this quietly, just throwing the idea out there in the open.

“Yeah?” David’s face scrunched up with a mixture of worry and doubt, “Do you think they’ll divorce? Then we’ll get split up?”

I paused and sighed, looking over at him, “Maybe.”

There was a long silence as we both stared at the television. This wasn’t the first, or last, time our father made Mom cry like this.

David spoke up quietly, “I just wish he didn’t put me on the spot and make all of you feel bad. Sometimes I think about being bad at school so Eli would feel better but whenever I fuck up he still compares us.”

I could feel my face sagging with sadness, “Sometimes... I feel bad that he only likes spending time with me because I’m so quiet. I’m afraid if he leaves he’ll split me from you two.”

David looked me dead in the eye, “I’ll never let that happen. Okay? I promise. None of us will ever be split up. We’re all in this together.”

I nodded.

“I taped some old Nitro if you just wanna watch something.” My brother tried to force a smile.

I shrugged and we screwed around with the TV to get the Playstation unplugged and the VCR hooked up. David started to rewind the tape and as I put the game console back into the entertainment cabinet, my mom came out into the livingroom, “David? Caleb? Do you know where you put your baseball bat?”

We both looked at each other with worry and I stammered, “Um, I left it out on the back patio last week.”

“Okay. Well... It’s almost time for your father to come home. I want the three of you to stay inside. Promise me, okay?”

We back at each other and nodded as Mom left through the back door from the kitchen. Eli came out of the hallway shortly after, looking around, “Mom went outside?”

I nodded.

“You might wanna turn off wrestling, something better is about to go down.”

I reached over and turned off the VCR player, watching Eli get on the couch and peek out the window it was sitting up against, kneeling low. David murmured, furrowing his brow, “What’s going on?”

“Come and watch.” he grinned, biting his lower lip in anticipation.

We both got up on the couch and peeked out of the beige and red checkered curtains, catching a glimpse of our mom standing in the driveway with a louisville slugger.

David squinted, “What the hell is going on?”

“Dad’s cheating on Mom. Those letters were filthy but I could only read what mom left on the table when she wasn’t looking. It was like something out of Playboy. And she packed bags for all of us except him. She purposefully unpacked his shit for his trip this weekend.”

My oldest brother looked over at me and we exchanged looks.

Eli glanced beside himself, “You knew?”

I shrugged.

He frowned and went back to looking out the window, “Help me open this real quiet.”

The three of us gently cracked open the front window, hoping to hear whatever argument was about to ensue.

About five minutes passed and I let out almost a whimper, “I hope nobody gets hurt.”

“Shut up.”

Eventually, The sound of crunching gravel in the driveway and the hum of a Chevy Silverado slowly came into earshot. One by one we turned around quickly, afraid to be seen peeking from the curtains.

“Did you see-”

“Yes.” David whispered.

I reached out and I held my older brother’s hand. Both of us went into a cold sweat hearing the truck turn off. I mouthed “Don’t let him, please.” and my brother nodded, chewing on his cheek.

The car door popped open, “What’s wrong?” It was my father.

“Why don’t you tell me that, Huh? What the fuck is wrong? You wanna tell me?”

Another car door opened, “Janet.” Uncle Adam.

A hiss from gritted teeth escaped from my mom’s lips, “Oh. You stay the fuck away from me you cocksucker.”

“Let’s just talk about this like adults, alright?” There’s no reason to bring out a bat.”

“Oh. But it’s fine to throw bottles at me? Huh? Or threaten to stab your own son?”

I opened my eyes and caught Eli wincing. David whispered he was going to bring our luggage into the living room and got up, clearing his throat.

“Does he tell you about that Adam, huh, when he’s fucking your ass in the woods?”

“Janet!”

Eli let out this noise that was halfway between a snort and a gasp.

“Dad’s gay?” David whispered, dropping all four suitcases.

His twin slowly tried to take a peek at the backpedaling going on outside, “That doesn’t even make sense. But-” He slid back down into the couch, “Maybe that’s why he hates us so much. We’re not family to him.”

“Just a cover.” David finished.

“Let me just take my shit and go. Nobody has to get hurt, Okay?”

“Oh! That’s how you think it’s gonna go? I’m just gonna let you pack your bags and leave? No. You are not getting into that trailer.”

”Fine I’ll jus-”

There was a loud crack, and then two male scream. We heard keys jingling and then quick stomping up the stairs. As the door slammed open our mom screamed, leaning into the house, “Boys!”

The three of us scrambled to grab our old thrift store luggage. David offered to carry Mom’s and in almost one swift motion, we were in the backseat of the truck. I’m not sure how, or where, but mom got ahold of Dad’s hunting rifle. She slung it over her back, still holding the bat as she ushered us into the car.

I never saw where Dad or Adam were during that, especially since between the luggage and the three of us it was like a clown car in the extended cab. We drove until the first stoplight in silence and then mom instructed David to take the rifle and put it under the backseat, along with the bat.

I finally spoke up, “Mom?”

“Mh.”

“D-... Did you kill dad?”

She shook her head, “No, he’ll live.”

“Where are we going?”

Eli sighed heavily.

My mom looked up into the rear mirror, “We’re going to Grandma’s, okay? It’s going to be okay.”

We eventually moved the luggage into the truck bed and Mom stopped to kiss all three of us on the head before heading back on the road. The three of us were getting to be as tall as her at this point and she commented how there will be a day where she wouldn’t reach our heads anymore. The evening set into night,and we stopped at a dirty truck stop for dinner when god knows when. Mom dug up some quarters and called her mother outside while we got back in the car. It took a few tries before somebody answered

“No Ma, He- There were letters.”

I watched Eli roll up his window so he could rest his head against it. David had been using an old jean jacket as a blanket and started to nod off.

“Please don’t do this now.”

The conversation on the phone very clearly went nowhere and was extremely short. We didn’t go to our grandmother’s.