We don’t talk enough about Sizhui, the last living member of the Wen clan, trying to learn and reconnect to his family and heritage after the events of the story.
I am glad that we got to know about his trip to Qishan and that he learned the Wen style of swordsmanship from his uncle.
There's something so deeply bittersweet and aching about Wangxian and their little one.
This tiny innocent born into war, plucked from horror into a barren wilderness, planted among radishes and nourished with affection.
Wei Wuxian is such a natural parent, so silly and so caring and so protective. And he and Lan Wangji are so enchanted by watching each other play with and care for this child, who lights up at teasing and delights over simple gifts and is so full of pure and easy love.
And then there is blood and fire and death and fever.
And this child that might have been in some ways theirs, some remnant thing that binds Lan Wangji to a memory, does not remember.
Lan Wangji loves him for his own sake, of course, more as time goes on; as agony fades to a dull constant ache and Sizhui develops ever more into his own person. He is a constant source of pride and joy and parental concern and motivation for Lan Wangji to grow up in ways that he had not before.
And in the end, Wei Wuxian comes back and Sizhui remembers and they are finally a family...but it does not erase the things that were missed. And sometimes Wei Wuxian looks at little drawings Sizhui made as a child, or toys he played with, and tears up a little over having not been there. Sometimes Lan Wangji thinks of a particularly scary illness or a challenging school situation and imagines what it would have been like to have a partner to parent with all along.
There is a happy ending...but it does not return what was lost.
And yet...Sizhui comes to them blushing to talk about a crush. He brings his confusing homework to them. He seeks their advice before night hunts. They get to be parents together. One night, when Sizhui has been injured - not severely but enough to be worrying, enough to run a mild fever - Lan Zhan and Wei Ying sleep on either side of him, watching over him. Their eyes meet over the head of their precious child, and in that moment it as if there were no years where they did not do this together.
What was lost cannot be returned...but there is a happy ending.
A-Yuan growing up to be a highly empathetic teenager/adult because when he was young, he had this larger than life gege who smiled a lot, but then would cry a lot inside his cave when he thought everyone had gone to sleep. Sometimes he would get so angry and no one would be spared from that anger, not even A-Yuan, but then his anger would dissolve at the face of the child's tears or just his fearful face. And guilt would overshadow the anger and tears would prickle his gege's eyes as well.
I don't know where I'm going with this. Just Sizhui as a baby being exposed to these intense emotions and yet growing up to be empathetic and emotionally mature. Obviously, Lan Zhan has a LOT to do with that. But I do wonder about Wei Ying's impact on his baby.. his cheerfulness, downright giddiness at the smallest of things, but then his depression which he barely showed anyone and his strength.. so much strength that protected A-Yuan and his family.. that sort of an influence will always stay with you and no fever can burn away it's brightness and long lasting impression.
And it does make me wonder.. how much of the 'stability' that we see Sizhui in is real and how much of it is a facade hiding more inside.
DEFENSIVENESS : arms crossed on chest (this is also a sign his ticked ) / crossing legs / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / karate chops / stiffening of shoulders / tense posture / curling of lip / baring of teeth
REFLECTIVE : hand-to-face gestures / head tilted / stroking chin / peering over glasses / taking glasses off — cleaning / putting earpiece of glasses in mouth / pipe smoker gestures / putting hand to the bridge of the nose / pursed lips / knitted brows
SUSPICION : arms crossed / sideways glance / touching or rubbing nose / rubbing eyes / hands resting on weapon / brows raising / lips pressing into a thin line / strict, unwavering eye contact / wrinkling of nose
OPENNESS & COOPERATION : open hands / upper body in sprinters position / leaning in closely / sitting on the edge of a chair / hand-to-face gestures / unbuttoned coat / tilted head / slacked shoulders / droopy/relaxed posture / feet pointed outward / palms flat and facing outward
CONFIDENCE : hands behind back / hands on lapels of coat / steepled hands / baring teeth in a grin / rolling shoulders / tipping head back but maintaining eye contact / chest puffed up / shoulders back / arms folded just above navel
INSECURITY & ANXIETY : chewing pen or pencil / rubbing thumb over opposite thumb / biting fingernails / hands in pockets / elbow bent / closed gestures / clearing throat / “ whew ” sound / picking or pinching flesh / fidgeting in chair / hand covering mouth whilst speaking / poor eye contact / tugging at pants whilst seated / jingling money in pockets / tugging at ear / perspiring hands / playing with hair / swaying / playing with pointer / marker / smacking lips / sighing / rocking on balls of feet / flexing fingers sporadically
FRUSTRATION : short breaths / “ tsk ” sounds / tightly-clenched hands / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / running hand through hair / rubbing back of neck / snarling / revealing teeth / grimacing / sharp-eyed glowers with notable tension in the brows / shoulders back, head up - defensive posturing / clenching of jaw / grinding teeth / nostrils flaring / heavy exhales
The fact that Sizhui (at least in the donghua) still has the exact same hairstyle that he did as a little kid is tragicomedy. Like I bet every time growing up that he decided to maybe grow his bangs out or push them back or switch which side they were on he’d look over and Lan Wangji would just be sitting there with tears in his eyes and Sizhui would sigh and put it back the way WWX did it.