#sjuul writes fic

[undiscovereduniverse]

tagged by @annevbonny, @medusinestories @jamesbarlow @jaune-clair THANK YOU ALL <3 <3

rules: post the last sentence you wrote, and tag as many people as there are words in that sentence. I’m gonna ignore this because I haven’t written anything in months and I have no idea what my last sentence was!! Instead, I'll spoil another part of the fic that I will never finish, a post season 4 silverflinthamilton happy ever after in which the major plot point is silver telling flint about his past (I already spoiled my story for silver’s past a while ago, you can find it here: X ). 

This time, I’ll spoil my favourite part of this fic: Thomas has a hard time accepting Miranda’s death, so to cope with his thoughts and feelings he writes her letters. 

A little bit of context first: 

Some years after the end of the war, Flint and Silver stumble upon each other by chance. Silver latches onto Flint - he doesn’t have anywhere to go or anything left to lose, after all - and follows him back to Flint’s and Thomas’ house. Silver stays with them - I don’t know if James or Thomas invites him or if Silver just decides not to leave. Thomas is curious about Silver, and his past with James. James mostly ignores Silver, is cold and distant to him.

Life hasn’t been easy for Thomas and James since they left the plantation. Their relationship is fragile, both their characters are changed and damaged. They live in a small house in a remote place, surrounded by trees, and James is happy there but Thomas desperately wants to return to society, to move closer to town and feel like he is at the center of the world again. Thomas writes to Miranda: 

My dearest love,

Every day I miss you more than the day before, and I feel your absence especially now, with what is going on in this house. We have been working so hard to achieve some sort of peace between the two of us, James and I, but ever since he came back with that man… Everything feels off-balance.

He steals, he lies, he thieves. He is completely devoid of morals or ideals. He is utterly selfish. I do not trust him – how could I, after everything he did to James?

You would have liked him, I am convinced. You would have known how to handle him. I am trying the best I can, but the years have eroded any sense of patience I ever had, and I find it all too easy to lash out at him, to make harsh and bitter comments about what he did to James. Do not be mistaken – do not think I am bullying him. I assure you that Mr Silver is not soft, and he strikes back at me with equal vigour.

It does not seem like he will be leaving any time soon, so I will tolerate him, for James. I have hope for us, that we will find a new balance between the two of us, no matter how long it will take. I love him so dearly, even after so long, even after all the years we forcibly spent apart. His return to me is a gift from the Gods that I will cherish, and will not easily let go.

As I am writing this, I can imagine clearly how you would laugh at me, your soft-hearted, hard-headed husband, making things more difficult for himself than they need be. Oh, how I wish you were here to tell me.

Yours, as always,

Thomas.

Thomas has a job in town, at a newspaper or something like that, while James stays at the house and works in their garden most of the time. Silver has been living with them for a while now, and has started to tell James parts of his past. James is wary at first, but slowly relaxes around Silver. 

Dear Miranda,

A man who feels confident of himself, who appreciates what he has, will not long for things he cannot possess. Jealousy is a weakness, and I am a weak man – more so than I have ever known myself to be. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I recognise it and it is true. I am jealous of Mr Silver. The way he and James interact… They move so naturally together, even in their arguments and banter. They click, they fit, while everything between James and me has been difficult and painful. We are still locating each other’s sores, find ourselves pushing too hard in places where it hurts, without meaning harm.

He knows James in ways that I never will. He has seen James in ways that I never will. He understands James in ways that I never will.

And yet, I cannot bring myself to hate him. He makes it so difficult when it should be so easy. A couple of days ago, I came home and tried to pull off my scarf but it had somehow formed a knot that I could not untangle and things at the paper had not been running smoothly as they should that day and this was the drop that made the bucket overflow. I pulled and pulled and pulled at the scarf which of course only made the knot tighter – you should have seen me: pure frustration and rage, all pointed at an inanimate object. I would have surely strangled myself and suffocated if not for Mr Silver. He saw my struggle – and feeling his eyes on me only made things worse – but he came up to me and put his hands over my fumbling fingers, and he looked at me with those deep blue eyes, that strangely kind and gentle face… It was so unexpected. He could have laughed at me, teased me for being such a fool. Everything became too much and to my embarrassment I started crying. I felt so helpless and I couldn’t even take my anger out on Mr Silver because he was being uncharacteristically nice to me. I could not be so mean.

I stood there, sobbing, while he told me a story about his family, something about how his mother used to be inconsolable while his sister was the easiest thing to cheer up and make forget her sorrows, a story of which I cannot remember the point right now but it does not matter because it was obviously something he made up for whatever purpose – to soften me, to knead me, I do not know.

I do not know how much longer I can take this.

A lot of things happen between this letter and the last - Silver being completely open about his past to Flint, Silver and Flint finally finding out that they love each other and giving in to their feelings, Thomas giving Silver’s beard a trim after which they share a careful first kiss between them, and eventual OT3 happiness. 

My dearest Miranda,

There was a time when I could make sense of the world, or at least I thought I could. Everything has changed. I do not see much sense anymore, in the things that fate puts on our path, in the things people do to each other, in the things I feel.

This realisation had me lost and adrift for a while, but I am slowly learning to appreciate that this strange world of ours can bring forth the strangest of coincidences, the most unexpected moments of luck. Of happiness.

I was unhappy in this house, living so far away from society, but I understood how much James needed this, the sense of peace and simplicity that this place brought him, so I stayed here with him until I could not bear it anymore. You know how he is – so eager to please the ones he loves. The moment he learnt of my unhappiness in this place, he promptly decided that we would move, no matter his own feelings. I felt guilty, and relieved, and then even more guilty. I do not know where we will eventually come to live, but for now it does not matter, because we are leaving this place to travel to the Continent, per John’s request. Yes, John, of all people, seems to have brought up the solution to our housing problem for now. Apparently, he spent parts of his youth in places in the Dutch Republic and England, and he wishes to go back to these places. James has decided to go with him, and I am definitely not staying behind, so here we are – packing our bags for a grand voyage across the ocean.

I still miss you so very much. I still feel like you could walk through the door any moment, in a brightly-coloured dress and with a warm smile on your face. With each day that goes by, your loss becomes a little more bearable. Perhaps the thought that helps is that James and I are happy, and that this makes you happy too, wherever you may be.

And, well. I am starting to believe that John could have an indispensable part in our happiness. He still annoys me as much as the first day I met him, but I see how much James loves him and… Miranda, please do not tell anyone but I might be starting to love him too.

I do not know when I will be able to write to you again. Until then, I am sending you lots of love and an infinite number of kisses,

Thomas.

I know it’s dumb because I wrote all of this myself but every time I read Thomas’ letters I start crying sldkfjdsklsdlkf

tagging @olga-eulalia @husbandpirates @bisexualpirateheart @queerpyrate @crucifythenburn ?? sorry if you’ve already done this and don’t feel pressured if you haven’t ofc!! 

[undiscovereduniverse]

I don’t have any hopes for this fic ever getting finished. I do have headcanons about Silver’s past that I want to share, which is why I’m spoiling them here. 

First of all: I believe that canonically Silver has been through the worst shit you can possibly imagine, but I didn’t want to go with “shock value” in my own story for him, so with this fic I’ve mostly tried to figure out why he is who he is. 

--

John Silver is born on 31 July 1688 as Nicolaas Maria Exalto d’Almaras, in a small town in the Dutch Republic. 

His father, Alvaro, is a merchant from Spain. His mother, Katlijne, is Dutch. Silver has two older siblings: a brother, Martinus, and a sister, Johanna. Martinus dies when Silver is still very young - Silver doesn’t have any memories of him. In Martinus’ place, Silver is now the one who will inherit his father’s business. 

Silver’s sister is mentally impaired. Silver adores her. He thinks he is a fucking genius until he meets other kids. 

His early youth is pretty quiet. The family is not rich, but not poor either. They are deeply religious: they pray before all their meals, they go to church twice on Sundays. Silver’s mother often visits the nuns at the convent just outside town. 

Silver is a quiet kid in school. He can lose himself in his own imaginations for hours on end. The other kids tease him with his name, Nicolaas, and he starts to hate it. He isn’t exactly bullied but he doesn’t belong with anyone either. He is invisible. But he has one close friend: Solomon Little. 

It turns out that Silver’s father is into some shady, foul business. He has angered some important people and as a result of that he and his family have to flee the country. 

They move to England. Silver’s mother becomes depressed because she misses her old life. Silver tries to take care of her, cheer her up, but it’s no use. 

(a little headcanon for my own fic: Silver’s mother was in love with one of the nuns at the convent). 

Silver tries to keep in touch with Solomon. After a year of sending letters, Silver receives one letter in reply. It’s short, and filled with lousy excuses for why Solomon didn’t write to him sooner. Silver answers, and sends some more letters after that, but no other reply comes. Silver stops writing. 

Silver’s father prepares Silver to take over his business. He teaches Silver all his tricks, how to manipulate people, how to talk to them and get what you want from them.

Silver admires his father, thinks his father is smart. He wants to do well and impress him, make him proud of his son. 

Silver’s mother tries to kill herself, multiple times. One day she succeeds. She is buried outside the church’s cemetery, in unconsecrated ground. Silver can’t bring himself to believe in a God who has witnessed his mother’s struggles and decided that she must be punished for them. Silver used to feel scared whenever he entered a church: like he was being watched and judged. Now, he doesn’t feel anything. The rituals, the decorations - they all seem empty to him. 

Silver’s father descends into drinking, and Silver finallly sees him for who he truly is: a weak little man, unable to deal with his problems, always running away when things get hard. 

Silver is now the one who mostly takes care of the family: who provides a meager income, who looks after his sister. 

Silver’s sister is at the age when she should find a husband. There is a man who wants to marry her - he knows how she is, but he promises to take care of her. Silver thinks it will be good to do this - his sister will be taken care of (he loves her, but she isn’t easy to deal with), and the man is from a good family: Silver’s sister marrying into that family would be a way to restore their own family name after everything Silver’s father has done to destroy it. 

Silver’s sister marries the man and comes to live with him. 

She withers like a flower. Silver starts to doubt the man’s good intentions, but it is too late. 

One day, Silver’s sister goes missing. After five days, her body washes up on the river banks. Drowned. Silver will never know if it was an accident, if she jumped into the water herself, or if her husband had anything to do with it. 

Silver desperately tries to make money, but his name is tainted by his father’s actions and his mother’s suicide. 

So he chooses another name for himself: John Silver. He chooses his first name after his sister’s name - Johanna. He chooses his last name after his mother’s maiden name: Zilver. 

Silver does well for himself. He takes on all kinds of jobs, never stays in one place for long, never gets attached to anything or anyone. He sends money to his father, and visits him regularly, but there is no love between them. 

During one of his jobs, Silver meets a woman who he connects with. She becomes something like a mother to him, perhaps more than his own mother was able to be. She helps him improve his English. He trusts her. That is, until he finds out that she has opened accounts with people in town under Silver’s name but never payed for anything. She is gone before he can confront her, and Silver is now in debt with dozens of people. 

The funny thing is, Silver tried to be good. He tried to be decent, unlike his father, and yet he has somehow ended up exactly like him: broke and despised. 

Silver speaks Dutch, and English, and some Spanish: he could go anywhere in the world if he wished. He decides to be selfish and leave his father be. There is nothing lost between them anyway. 

Silver joins a merchant ship to the Bahamas and never looks back. He feels light, and hopeful that he will be able to start anew in a different place. Just like his father when he brought them to England. 

--

Some final thoughts:

Silver’s sister being simple was inspired by Silver’s dealings with Randall.

Silver’s sister drowned - Silver had to watch Muldoon drown.

Silver’s mother tried to kill herself multiple times - Flint is self-destructive but Silver stops him from dying multiple times. 

I wanted to write a story in which Silver’s father plays a significant role. Somehow I’m always thinking about his relationship with his mother, which is exactly why I wanted to try and write something different. 

Silver’s story is a patchwork of truth and fiction. Most parts of his story have really happened, to me, to my ancestors, to people I’ve never known. 

[undiscovereduniverse]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Captain Flint/John Silver Characters: Captain Flint (Black Sails), John Silver Additional Tags: First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Kiss, all the first times tbh, the most soft pirate husbands being disgustingly in love, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Post Season 4, Treasure Island is a lie, Post-coital banter, Explicit Consent, Communication, Fluff and Smut, POV John Silver Summary:

This was the part that scared Silver – growing so close to another person that you would become inseparable. This is what Silver tried to avoid his whole life - yet here he is with Flint.

--

This fic is just a poor excuse for writing disgustingly sappy and sweet first time sex.

[undiscovereduniverse]

I was tagged by @olga-eulalia, thank you dear!

Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote and tag as many people as there are words!

Here’s a part of the post s4 silverflint reunion fic I’m currently writing. I wrote this part in one go, about two minutes ago, so it’s very very rough, and a little more than one sentence because it’s hard to single one out. 

Just a little context; Silver is going to reveal his past to Flint in this fic. 

No one has ever known Silver like this. No one has ever seen so much of him. No one, except for Flint. It frightens Silver, to be so transparent to someone, to offer everything he has to give so nakedly and see it handled with care. See that after everything, war and death and loss and secrets and heartbreak, Flint is willing to open his arms for Silver. Silver tells Flint every ugly thing about himself and Flint is still able to see something beautiful in him.

This is what it’s like to be loved, unconditionally, and Silver has never been this frightened in his life. It’s like jumping off a cliff and anticipating the breaking of bones and tearing of skin on the sharp rocks beneath – instead, all there is, is the ocean, catching him, soft and gentle like the steady beating of a heart.

It’s like fighting a man who holds your heart in his hands and brings a sword up to your throat, over and over and over, but the metal never touches your skin, and you almost wish it would – a touch, a caress. To feel something, even if it hurts.  

Not tagging anyone because I never know who to tag!! And I’ve seen a lot of people do this already so yeeeeee

[undiscovereduniverse]

So about that fic on Silver's past I'm writing: I have a story planned out for him but I feel like it isn't awful enough. In canon his past is so awful that he can't even talk about it so I feel like if I'm going to write a story for him it has to be the most horrible and traumatizing stuff I can come up with, yet.......writing that feels cheap? Feels like I'm going for "shock value" which I don't want.....

[undiscovereduniverse]

Just in case anyone was still wondering: I'm not really writing the "silver's past" fic anymore, it was nice to write down some ideas for myself but nothing really happens in this fic, it's mostly dialogue and it would take many hours to ever finish since it's grown into a 13k monster... So that's just fyi

[undiscovereduniverse]

things that will happen in this fic:

- silver revealing his real name to flint, and it isn’t solomon little

- thomas being deliciously passive aggressive to silver (seriously I love their dynamic)

- thomas writing letters to miranda as a way to cope with her death

- thomas giving silver’s beard a trim 

- LOTS OF ANGST BUT EVENTUAL SILVERFLINT AND ALSO PROBABLY SILVERFLINTHAMILTON!!!

[undiscovereduniverse]

75. “Do you ever follow directions?” for whatever you want to write! :)

Caitomg. I can’t believe you gave me the exact prompt I was hoping for.

(Iknow someone else has written a similar thing but I didn’t see that until I wasalready writing this. Oops. So much for the originality of my mind. I haven’tread it so I just hope it’s not too much the same…!).

Anyway,ridiculous fluff ahead.

75. “Do you ever follow directions?” +silverflint

Thereare two things that Flint truly hates: they are crowds, and shopping. Put thosetwo together, and that’s what Flint imagines the ninth circle of hell is like.

Whichis why Flint harbours a special kind of hate for IKEA stores.

But he and Silver have recently moved intogether, and Silver can’t stand Flint’s Spartan interior choices any longer (classic, is the term Flint would prefer). He had a suspicionthat Silver would be quite the opposite, and he wasn’t wrong. The best wayFlint can describe Silver’s style preferences is a bird’s nest in which arainbow and a bag of glitter have exploded. But he loves Silver and he wantshim to feel at home in their new place.

Whichis why Flint currently finds himself in an IKEA store.

Silvermoves through the store at a steady pace and picks out anything he likes,without any regard for what fits together or what they already have in theircart.

Sofar he’s picked out seven cushions, two dinner table chairs, five carpets, andone lamp. None of it fits together style-wise and what the fuck do they evenneed five carpets for.

So far Flint has put back threecushions, two chairs because they were both ugly, and four carpets. Flintwould’ve put the lamp back too but Silver threatened to throw out all ofFlint’s books and replace them with interior design magazines if he didn’t lethim have this. It’s a hideous lamp, and on top of that, it’s just weird. The ceiling lamp looks like a giant white egg, but when you pullthe string at the bottom it unfolds itself into something that somehow remindsFlint of a spaceship. Silver had loved it, of course. Flint longs back tosimpler furniture-times when lamps weren’t 80’s-alien-scifi-transformerhybrids.  

Whenthey got home, the first thing Silver did was unpack the do-it-yourself lamp-buildingkit and throw away the instruction manual.  

He’sbeen sitting on the floor, surrounded by parts for over an hour now and thething still doesn’t look anything close to a lamp. Flint picked up theinstruction manual and started to give Silver directions because he couldn’tstand watching Silver mess up their newly bought lamp a minute longer.

“No,wait, that part is supposed to go there,” Flint says, and points at the thingSilver has half-put together.

“Mindyour own business,” Silver shoots at him. “I know what I’m doing.” The tip ofhis tongue sticks out between his lips as he’s trying to assemble the thing.

Flintsighs in frustration. “Do you ever follow directions?”

Silvergives him a cheeky smile. “Under the right circumstances.”

Flintrolls his eyes and decides that this is the right moment to go into the kitchento grab them both a beer.

WhenSilver finally realises that he can’t get it done, he allows Flint to help.They switch places: Silver sits down on the couch while Flint takes hisposition on the floor, among the parts that are supposed to form a lamp.Unfortunately, it soon turns out that Flint isn’t very handy either. Whowould’ve thought that assembling a lamp is actually rocket-science (heshould’ve known, really, with a lamp that looks like a spaceship).

Silvertakes a sip from his beer and sighs dramatically. “Oh, well. We’re just goingto have to live in complete darkness, I guess.”

“Howam I supposed to read my books in the dark?”, Flint grumps, reading over theinstructions for the bazillionth time that evening.

“There are plenty of other things youcan do in the darkness, you know.” Silver wiggles his eyebrows. “There’s… possibility, in the dark.”

Flintgives up. He throws the instruction manual over his shoulder and crawls over tothe couch. “What possibilities did you have in mind?”

Silversmiles at him. “Anything you want.”

Flintsits up on his knees in front of Silver, between his spread legs. He rubs hishands over Silver’s thighs, the warmth of his skin radiating through the coarsefabric of his jeans. Silver leans forward, puts his hands in Flint’s hair.Flint tilts his head up and Silver presses his mouth to Flint’s. Flint licks atthe seam of Silver’s lips and Silver easily opens for him. Hetastes of beer, Flint thinks, and home.

[undiscovereduniverse]

me: I’m going to stop writing this fic, it’s just too hard

also me: I just came up with about 5 reaLLY GREAT HEADCANONS!!!

me: ................ok I’ll just write them down but that’s IT

[undiscovereduniverse]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Captain Flint/John Silver, Thomas Hamilton/John Silver, Captain Flint/Thomas Hamilton/John Silver Characters: Captain Flint (Black Sails), John Silver, Thomas Hamilton Additional Tags: Praise Kink, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post Season 4, Post season 4 fix it au, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Dirty Talk, voyeurism kink, hello friends I leveled up into porn writer and I don't know how to feel about that, Silver puts his mouth to good use Summary:

Silver brushes his hand over the wooden surface of the table, recalling the memories of what he'd done there with Thomas just a couple of days ago. When he looks up again he catches Flint following the movement of his hand.

“Here?” Flint exclaims, and quickly shuts his mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t –.” His cheeks turn red.

“You want to know?” Silver asks with a sly smile. “You want me to tell you?”

-

Silver tells Flint of his first time with Thomas in full detail.

[undiscovereduniverse]

uhhhh I’ve written almost 10k of a post s4 au in which silver finds flint & thomas and silver reveals his past to flint but how the heck do I turn all these headcanons into an actual story 

[undiscovereduniverse]

Writing meme - add the first line of a WIP and tag as many people as there are words.

tagged by @jamesbarlow thank you babes!! I’m terrible with first sentences but here you go!

He couldn’t stay with the Maroons because they all knew it was him who put an end to their only chance of freedom.

I wonder who this could be about?!?!?! :) :) :) 

[undiscovereduniverse]

MY DEARS I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THIS WHOLE GOSH DARNED FIC BUT AT LEAST THOMAS’ LETTERS TO MIRANDA ARE MAKING ME CRY!!

[undiscovereduniverse]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

tagged by @annevbonny and @jamesbarlow thank youuu~

1. Springtime Rains (1114 words). Everyone Is Dead AU. This is how I imagine James, Thomas, Miranda, and Silver meet each other again in the afterlife, somewhere after Treasure Island. I still love the little hint I gave about Silver’s past. I also still really love the Kierkegaard quote for James: Life has to be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards. Nice fic for when you’re in that melancholy mood. 

2. That I Miss You (8203 words). Thomas and Silver meet after James has passed away. I once read a manga (yeah, really) in which two people bonded over the loss of a mutual friend or lover, and that concept really stuck with me. In this case, Thomas and Silver try to find something with each other that in the end doesn’t satisfy them, even though they do care about each other, because it’s really James they want. Lots of regrets from Silver’s side because he never saw James again after the end of the war and he’s never faced all the emotions he had about James until now. Nice fic for when you just want to fucking cry over sad gay pirates. 

3. Staring into open flames (2223 words). Pure 100% porn without plot. I wanted to write about how I imagined Silver and Thomas’ first time, but then I thought it would be more fun if it was Silver telling James about his first time with Thomas ::::::)))))) Read when you’re in the mood for Silver turning James on with his filthy mouth. 

4. Various Storms and Saints (11042 words). This was really hard to write, emotionally. It’s about Silver dissociating during sex with Thomas and James, and after that it’s just one big train of angst because no one understands what’s happening and Silver doesn’t want to talk and James’ internalized homophobia resurfaces because he thinks Silver doesn’t want him anymore and then I gave Silver bulimia. Even though it all sounds so awful I’m quite content with how I handled this subject and I’m also happy with the overall tone of it, because I wanted it to be hopeful, like they were all going to get through this together. Read this fic if you want to read some angst about implied past sexual abuse for Silver. 

5. Three times I loved you (4266 words). This fic consists of three silverflint ficlets that I really really love. I mean, Silver and Flint dealing with a baby? Silver washing Flint’s face? SILVER HAVING TO WATCH FLINT DIE IN HIS ARMS? AND STILL EVERYTHING ENDS WELL??

So this was a nice excuse to ramble a bit about my fics lol. I’m tagging @flintsjohn @husbandpirates @lurkerdelima @bisexualpirateheart ??? and anyone who sees this and wants to do this~ (also sorry if I tagged you and you’ve already done this)

[undiscovereduniverse]

so yeah I’m also sort of writing a new post season 4 reunion fic in which silver will reveal some parts of his past to flint

[undiscovereduniverse]

I didn’t know Word had a text-to-speach function but I just accidentally activated it and it started to read a part of the fic that I was working on?? it sounds so weird to hear someone read your fic out loud? uh?