#skate boss

[pollie-pockets]

Black dolls for black history month: day 2

Skate boss

[toychive]

lol omg : skate boss

[checkeredpattern]

I love the robo fizzes so much

[burlap-bows]

Pink Christmas

[paradoxikaa]

hey. elias hodge autistic headcanon, hm?

more in the tags, mild spoilers of ep 2

[fallenangelontheceiling]

Ted Lasso except instead of critiquing toxic masculinity it examines toxic femininity

Ted Lasso except instead of soccer it's (mostly female) figure skaters

Ted Lasso except the coach is a retired Olympic bronze medalist who wants her girls to have a life when they retire at the ripe old age of 28, and her mentor, ex-Soviet former coach

The only tie-in to Ted Lasso is one of the male skaters dates Collin and struggles with keeping it a secret. Also Trent Crimm shows up sometimes to do an interview and Side Eye

[spac3geek]

YOOOOO SHES FUCKIN SICK

every girlfailure has to have at least a little sauce ya know

[livindeddreamz]

Rolling down the streets :0

[fluenf]

ice skate

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

[pollie-pockets]

Pink lol doll transparents

[simmonsized]

Upside to working like 2 hours a week:

- I only work two hours a week

- Lots of time to focus on my schoolwork which is important to me

- Free ice time at the rink along with getting paid

Downside to working like 2 hours:

- I only work two hours a week

- Work SO patiently, make few money

[artsnfranks]

Skating loona, I just had to have her using one of these since I can’t have one IRL lol. Check out voidseeker_ on Twitter, they made the board designs, their art is soooo good.

[burlap-bows]

Winter Wonderland ❄️

[music-art-sport-and-more]

Ilia Malinin:

[thedreadvampy]

went ice skating and nailed it. solved both my personal challenges of Do A 360 Turn and Take And Send A Selfie While Lapping

killing it. All my colleagues wish they were at my level.

[taken-aurally]

Zelda, Link, Ganon number 10 to make it interesting

Interesting it certainly is — I have had to give this one quite a bit of thought, and I'm not yet sure that these are the best answers.

Also, assuming Breath of the Wild incarnations of each.

Also also, I'm not totally sure if this should be Ganondorf the Gerudo King, or Ganon the Dark Beast, so I'm doing both.

And finally, I'm sticking to canon for these as much as I can — by which I mean I'm answering not for Ganondorf the Himbo King, but Ganondorf the Great King of Evil (frustration with this aspect of fandom documented in a previous post).

Netflix & Chill

(Interpreting this literally, with the casual intimacy of close friends at most, not the "wink wink nudge nudge" version)

Zelda: She needs the space to not have the world on her shoulders for a little while, and she's likely to have interesting takes on whatever we're watching, whether silly or serious.

Link: Most likely to be sound asleep within fifteen minutes. Not necessarily a problem, though.

Ganondorf: Does he even know how to chill? That aside, the series implies he can be very charming, but never genuinely so — he charms only as a means to further his own lust for power. The vibes are rancid.

The Dark Beast: The vibes are no less rancid, but my apartment and I are unlikely to survive the encounter. Pass.

Ice Skating

Zelda: Doesn't strike me as the most coordinated of people, so hey, she's on my level! We'll fall down together a thousand times and nurse our bruises over tea afterward.

Link: He'll skate rings around me while giving me pointers on how to be more steady. His inner goofball will come out to play.

Ganondorf: Not remotely in his element. We all need humbling experiences, but these will only fuel his rage. The most likely outcome is we'll fall down a thousand times together, and he lifts me by the neck and chokes me to death in front of witnesses. Alternatively, the fear is an excellent motivator and I learn to skate.

The Dark Beast: Skates confound it completely, it falls and cracks the ice hard. If we're on an artificial rink, people with common sense run for their lives; people filming it for social media die messily once the beast finds solid ground. If we're on a frozen lake, the beast's attempts to get back up shatter the ice completely. The beast dies, along with me and three dozen innocent bystanders; I am remembered as a hero afterward (but Tiktok calls me problematic because of the bystanders; there's just no pleasing some people).

Dodgeball

Zelda: Initially has no confidence, but quickly learns to cast aside dignity in the name of fun and discovers she's actually very good at it (especially the dodge part, given that nobody ever lands a hit on her in canon). Lots of laughter.

Link: Hopelessly outclasses me, but intentionally limits himself for the sake of everyone having a good time. Sets up ridiculous challenges for himself in the name of entertainment; everyone loves it. There is a spontaneous parody of the Top Gun homoerotic volleyball montage.

Ganondorf: Thinks the entire thing is beneath him, until someone beans him square in the back of the head. The tennis boss par excellence throws the ball at the offender of his pride so hard it kills them and breaks the ball. Ball out of play, he then begins shooting dark energy balls at everyone left. Three or four intrepid souls manage to hang on dodging the energy balls for a few scant minutes; I go down early and fake death, rising again only after the paramedics arrive.

The Dark Beast: Is absolutely crap at dodgeball — he's an immense target, and never manages to hit Link in single combat, so accuracy is not his strength. He does somewhat better with multiple targets. The dodgeball isn't substantial enough to hurt him. Loses the game, but kills half a dozen and takes a nap in the middle of the playing field; finds the experience enriching.

Conclusion

If Ganondorf: Ganondorf for Netflix (rancid vibes, but I live, and no bystander deaths), Zelda for ice skating, and Link for dodgeball.

If the Dark Beast: Zelda for Netflix, Link for dodgeball again, and the Dark Beast for skating on the lake (best possible outcome for the world at large).