I buried three of my girls today. Molly, Sadie and Tilly, my three longest-kept chickens, all in a row in the planter I built. We rent; I can't afford to risk leaving them buried in the actual ground, in someone else's soil. While they were alive, they all loved to dustbathe in that planter, kicking out the pricey potting mix until it was two-thirds empty. Now, I barely had to dig.
Tilly went first, in the classic fashion; falling off her perch in the night. Sadie had a steady decline, but died peacefully as she napped one afternoon. Molly died yesterday, in my arms, after we'd rushed her to the emergency clinic; we'd thought she was eggbound, but it was waterbelly. Heart failure. She was happy and eating treats from my hand that morning, and four hours later we were driving home with her corpse in a cat carrier.
I wanted to bury them all together. A reunion in their favorite place, near their friend Spesh's cage, the pigeon who loved to cuddle up with them at night and somehow outlived them all.
I laid down a half-foot-deep layer of sawdust to cradle their little bodies, the same sawdust I'd line their favorite nesting boxes with. I tore up a sheet we've slept on a thousand nights each, and wrapped each of my babies up safe and sound. We tied a silk bow around each one, like gifts, because to us they were each a gift. I tucked them in with another layer of sawdust like a blanket, and buried them into the soil with my hands.
I'm not sure how to adjust to the yard being so quiet. No soft and sleepy Tilly purring in the sun, no Sadie stalking mice and lizards in the tall grass, no Molly at my heels like a feathery little dog helping me pull weeds with her scratching. Just the ducks and Malone.
At least I can hang out with them there, in that quiet little sheltered corner of the yard. Spesh would like the company.
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Wow, I'm alive ☠️
Let's start with sketches with Barnaby, because he's a cool guy
Then, i remind you that i really love Howdy, so there are a lot of sketches with him 🤭🤭🥄 (in fact, i have a lot more of them, but i can't show them here). i'll say a few headcanons about the second two sketches!! i think Howdy cooks well because when he looked after his younger siblings or nephews, they needed to be fed. His signature dish is vegetable soup!! It is useful, nutritious, not very difficult, cheap, and you can also feed a large number of people with this soup
In my mind, Beta!Wally is quite an interesting and slightly slippery type. I would paint all my headcannons on him, but I won't. I'll just say that he's trying to look perfect, and he's also more of a poet than just Wally, who's an artist
I also apologize for the fact that I was gone for almost TWO MONTHS ( ゚□゚) actually, I have a lot of work, but I can't exhibit half of it here, and I think about the other part that it's unworthy to be here 😔🥄🥄
aaand two sketches for @//clownsuu
I laugh awkwardly at the second sketch.... huh
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*taps mic* While the number of eroi Yandere Gojo in this hellsite is super interesting, Yandere Gojo who actually cools off in the presence of his Darling tho. Who doesn't need to prove that Gojo Satoru is anything and just basks like a cat in the presence of his Darling, making noncommital sounds like "Uh-huh," "Yup," "Huh," while listening to them talk about this or that, and makes sure to coincidentally encounter his Darling when they're out shopping for meal ingredients--oh look, only one pack of eggs per person? Lucky~! Sato-tan is here to help you get that second pack so you don't have to run back tomorrow again!
Oh, you slipped and twisted your ankle? Aww, poor you. How about Sato-tan carry you up the stairs? Eh? Elevator? Oh, it's under maintenance for the week! How unlucky. You can pay him back in homemade bento with a bonito-flake heart! (ノ≧ڡ≦)
Going out during the height of the heatwave to return an almost-late library book? No biggie! Sato-tan pulls up in a wholeass Maserati Spyder that's so out of place in the neighborhood and has u wondering "How did this dumbass not get his car stolen by the local hooligans yet?" (Answer: he's in cahoots w the Yakuza, and I absolutely HC that Juju Society higher-ups have connections with criminal underground and political underbelly bc of the nature of their work)
(The gradual merging of his mundane life with yours is something you won't even notice. Sure, you might dally with some mortal flies here and there, but Satoru's fine with that.
He's a God: and Gods are nothing if not patient.)
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❝ have i been on your mind? ❞ (Atahni to Hiroto, sorry not sorry, he's a problem—)
Hiroto never intended to develop any emotional attachments, but now he finds himself spending more and more time with A’atahni. Their original arrangement had been purely physical, a means to satisfy their desires. So, when did things start to change? The viper let out a weary sigh before stepping into the shower, still fully clothed, but he didn’t care. Hiroto needed something—anything—to distract him from his mind focusing on A’atahni. To try to push away the feelings inside his chest that threatened to spill out anytime the two were so closely wrapped up in each other. Leaning against the tiled wall, he felt the wet fabric against his skin, the sensation doing nothing to silence his racing mind.
Of course, one time he needed the cold water to snap him out of this internal struggle.
Closing his eyes, the viper could clearly remember A’atahni laying beneath him, their bodies intertwined, lips locked in a passionate kiss. Their hands are eagerly seeking to remove any obstacles between them. Each touch and caress ignites a powerful primal desire. He could still vividly recall the sensation of their bodies melding together and the sound of their hushed breaths mingling. It was the very thing the white-haired male wanted to avoid. He wanted to avoid getting too emotionally invested in their relationship, knowing that one of them would eventually leave. That’s how it's always been for Hiroto. People would come and go and use him for whatever they needed before tossing him away. The sad thing was that he hadn’t minded that. It prevented me from getting too deeply connected to someone else. To keep that distance and protect what little remained of his heart.
"Fuck, this shouldn’t be that complicated. I have had one-night stands and such before, but why is he so different?” mumbled Hiroto, as he closed his eyes. Water dripping down his forehead and chest. Slowly, he felt the cool tiles of the shower wall against his palm as his hand tightened into a fist. This wasn’t just about the physical intimacy anymore; it was much more, which both excited and terrified Viper at the same time.
Deciding that it wasn’t helping, the Viper stepped out of the shower, his hair and clothes completely soaked as he made his way into the bedroom. He tossed his wet clothes into the laundry basket before changing into a tank top and pants. Just as he was racking his brain for any other distraction to keep his thoughts away from A’atahni, there came a soft knock on the door. Hiroto took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, only to find A’atahni standing there with his usual sly smirk.
“A’atahni… I thought you were taking the day to spend with Tsuru," mumbled Hiroto as he scratched the back of his head. Last night, the raven-haired male mentioned taking his daughter fishing, yet here he stands outside Hiroto’s door. It wasn’t like the white-haired male wasn’t happy to see the other. He was actually thrilled, but that wasn’t something he was going to simply reveal. It was best not to. Saying the words inside his heart would only make a mess of things.
Letting out a small gasp, Hiroto felt A’atahni gently push him against the door frame before pressing a kiss to his ear. It was a sensitive spot for the viper which lead to him emitting a gentle purr. One of Hiroto's hands quickly reached up and covered his own mouth as the viper tried to prevent any more sounds from escaping his lips, yet even that proved futile.
“You know that’s not fair..you’ve found so many of my sensitive spots.”
They had remained like that for a few moments before eventually entering the house. Hiroto took a breath as he sat next to A'atahni on the sofa. If the other had skipped out on plans with Tsuru, it meant that whatever he had to say was pretty damn important. Which led to Hiroto's mind racing so quickly with thoughts that maybe the other had come to break things off.
"It's good to see you, darling, but there has to be a reason you suddenly showed up like this. Tsuru was so excited to spend the day with you."
At least Hiroto had seen both of them the previous day. The three had decided to take the day and go fishing. Hiroto wasn't a pro by any means, but it made A'atahni and Tsuru happy, so he wanted to improve. He even ended up giving Tsuru this beautiful crystal necklace that was a beautiful purple hue, much like A'atahni eyes. The way the little girl's eyes lit up spoke volumes about how much that meant to her.It was the moment A'atahni had left to grab them some lunch that Tsuru had excitedly told Hiroto that her father planned to take the entire day to just spend with her. Which is why the viper was left confused as to why A'atahni had missed out on time with his own daughter.
'Meadowsweet...have I been on your mind?'
Hiroto's eyes widened slightly as his face quickly turned away from the other. It was a simple enough question, yet the weight it had on it was everything. Normally, the viper could answer such questions easily, but now things felt different. He had gotten way too attached to A'atahni and Tsuru. Would it be a stretch to say that he even saw a future for the three of them together? Which was a first, considering Hiroto had never once thought of anything beyond the growing hatred inside his chest. The pain of feeling unloved by his own family, which hadn't been the case since he was only a child at the time,
"I...."
This was harder to answer than Hiroto thought, but maybe that was because A'atahni meant far more to him than he had believed. The way the other consumed his thoughts was intoxicating and frustrating at the same time. Hiroto couldn't think about anything else but the raven-haired male that sat so close to him. The way every caress and touch made his own body react so differently.
"We promised not to get too attached—that was what we had said when we started seeing each other yet. Lately, I can't stop thinking about you. I lay awake at night, missing you in my arms—the way that I have grown to care for Tsuru so much too."
Don't say it. Those three words will bury both of us. It will take away everything we have right now and possibly destroy us.
Gently, Hiroto cupped A'atahni's face, leaning in and pressing their lips together as his chest ached. If this was their goodbye, he would just have to be honest. Even if that took away everything, there was no escaping the fact that Hiroto truly loved A'atahni.
"A'atahni... I love you, which is something I have told myself time and time again was wrong. The two of us have built so many walls over the years that we sought anything to numb that pain, yet during the process... I found myself drawn to you in so many ways. The way you truly smile around your daughter and even me sometimes. It's brief, but I've seen it. The pain that you have been through tries to convince you that falling for someone else is the end of the world. Believe me, I thought that for so long, but you—I hate that I love you. I see a future with you, which I have never felt with anyone. You have seen my scars. You know a bit about my past. I can't ask you to return my feelings, but...you asked if I was thinking about you, and the answer is every second of every day."
For so many years, Hiroto had closed off his heart, and the one person who had broken so many of his defenses was also the type to run away from love. He felt a deep ache in his heart, knowing that expressing his feelings could potentially destroy everything they had. To cause A'atahni to run from him, and everything would vanish in that single instant. The viper couldn't be mad at how the others reacted. In the end, he would respect whatever he decided, but twelfth, he prayed that he wasn't just seeing things. That he cared just as much for him too.
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Idk if you (over)heard my ma, but was looking at you and she said 'you just stare at each other? two weirdos'- to which I say a. absolutely two fucking weirdos and we love each other for it uwu <3
But b. um yes???? idk what it is w some people that find it weird (weird? idk) when you look at your significant other for extended periods of time- like wym what am I doing-
I am loving my boyfriend. I am admiring xer messy hair and lil snowflakes and plush lips. I am adoringly gazing at them being eepy n tired, happy n warmed that I get to see them like that- so relaxed and calm and feeling safe. I am yearning to be with them there in their bed, kissing their forehead softly and pulling her close as we drift off to dreamland, cozy and quiet and at peace- but alas I'm behind a screen. So all I can do is stare and yearn and wish.
What's so weird about that
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