#smalltown boy bronski beat the love that you need will never be found at home etc.

[artthoufruity]

"The love that you need will never be found at home" is such a relatable lyric and no one talks about it

[steelycunt]

reading death of a naturalist in english today and with the whole ‘i love my home but it will kill me’ theme i immediately thought of r in ur pride au of course….. “he loves his home so fiercely he doesnt feel like its his he never wants to leave he thinks if he doesnt get out #he might die his home is everything 2 him he wants to turn his home into something that does not make him so unbearably sad and #lonely and like a stranger or he will not be able to stay here he. wants his dad to like him as well as loving him he wants the things he #loves to love him back he wants. a friend.” u were crazy for that……!!!!!

yes omg omg exactly!! im having a lot of fun with that whole thing and just making his life very miserable…he really does love his home very much but he is also just so sad there. he has no friends and doesn’t feel like he has a purpose there or in the community like the other men his age and he knows he is such a disappointment to his dad and he feels very lonely…but now especially when his home is threatened by the pit closing he loves it more than ever + wants to save it but even if he does that doesn’t really change his place in it. it’s also very fun to write about that from s’ perspective because to a certain extent he really just. doesn’t get that at all so there’s a bit of conflict there. as far as s is concerned…they’re together now and he wants r in london with him but also he just can’t see why that’s complicated like. r is not happy at his home = he should leave it. especially with s’ own experience of leaving his home even though the circumstances were very different he can’t really get his head around the idea of the love r has for his home even if he is unhappy there. and that causes problems

[vivelegalite]

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

[wellbelesbian]

WIP Wednesday

no sentences today, but i've finalised my plan for my COTTA fic and these are the chapter titles i've fully settled on. they're all lyrics from songs in my fic playlist, and they might give some clues to the vibe at that point in the story.

tell me now, how do i feel? (Blue Monday by New Order)

there's a place in the world for the angry young man (Angry Young Man by Billy Joel)

like the sun coming out (Cloudbusting by Kate Bush)

the union makes us strong (Solidarity Forever by Pete Seeger)

acting on your best behaviour (Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears)

you know that i’m falling and i don’t know what to say (Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac)

the love that you need will never be found at home (Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat)

give us bread but give us roses (Bread And Roses by Judy Collins)

love and pride (Love And Pride by King)

who wants to live forever? (Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen)

it’s over, it’s over (Dancing With Tears In My Eyes by Ultravox)

whatever you taught me, i didn't believe it (It’s A Sin by Pet Shop Boys)

you ask if i love you, well what can i say? (Hold Me Now by Thompson Twins)

with our brothers and our sisters, together we will stand (There Is Power In A Union by Billy Bragg)

okay, i'll stop plugging my playlist now. i'm just very proud of it 😅

oh, i can also say i've settled on a title for my fic: Shoulder To Shoulder, Hand To Hand. it's a line from the movie Pride, which is based on the true story of LGSM.

i tag @ileadacharmedlife @prettygoododds @imagineacoolusername @confused-bi-queer @ic3-que3n @forabeatofadrum @bazzybelle @theearlgreymage @aristocratic-otter @larkral @hushed-chorus @blackberrysummerblog @fatalfangirl @ebbpettier @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla and @youarenevertooold if you have anything to share!

[shadowpunk]

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES what song lyrics do you think most accurately describe you? your journey through life? who you are as a person? (more questions here)

oh the whole song smalltown boy by bronski beat is basically my life. especially the part "mother will never understand why you had to leave but the answers you seek will never be found at home. the love that you need will never be found at home. run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away. run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away. pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy. you were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down. and as hard as they would try, they'd hurt to make you cry. but you never cried to them, just to your soul." describes perfectly the years leading to me running away from the town i grew up in.

[twelvegrimmyplace]

Mother will never understand why you had to leave

But the answers you seek will never be found at home

The love that you need will never be found at home

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

[girlbloggercrowley]

praying every day for a good omens season 3 aziraphale arc that's smalltown boy by bronski beat coded... like... mother will never understand why you had to leave but the answers you seek will never be found at home... the love that you need will never be found at home... you were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down.... AND it's gay. amen!

[l1v1ngd34dgrl]

"Small town Boy"by Bronski Beat came out in 1984 from the album "The Age Of Consent" and is about a closeted boy in a small conservative town who wishes to run away to the city and finally be free to show who he is on the outside and not feel ashamed.

As the lyrics state "You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case. Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face.

Mother will never understand why you had to leave. But the answers you seek will never be found at home. The love that you need will never be found at home"

Whenever i listen to this song I think of byler and how it fits them perfectly and its just UGHH, its literally their song.

[851813914]

Mother will never understand why you had to leave

But the answers you seek will never be found at home

The love that you need will never be found at home

[capsulas]

Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy ↓ LYRICS ↓ [Intro] To your soul To your soul Cry Cry Cry [Verse 1] You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face [Verse 2] Mother will never understand why you had to leave But the answers you seek will never be found at home The love that you need will never be found at home [Chorus] Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away [Verse 3] Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down [Verse 4] And as hard as they would try they'd hurt to make you cry But you never cried to them, just to your soul No, you never cried to them, just to your soul [Chorus] Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (Crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (Crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (Crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away [Bridge] Cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry [Verse 5] You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face [Chorus] Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away #BronskiBeat #SmalltownBoy #TheAgeOfConsent via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88sARuFu-t

[femmeboyfatale13]

"But the answers you seek will never be found at home

The love that you need will never be found at home"

[apartmentsmoke]

has anyone ever done a buck gifset/video/edit with smalltown boy by bronski beat because "mother will never understand why you had to leave / but the answers you seek will never be found at home / the love that you need will never be found at home" IS buck to me

[strange-alien11]

To your soul To your soul Cry Cry Cry You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face Mother will never understand why you had to leave But the answers you seek will never be found at home The love that you need will never be found at home Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down And as hard as they would try they'd hurt to make you cry But you never cried to them, just to your soul No, you never cried to them, just to your soul Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul) Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

[sollody]

Stranger Things 4 - Songs We Need!

SELF CONTROL - Laura Branigan (1984)

"...I, I live among the creatures of the night. I haven't got the will to try and fight..."

HIGHWAY TO HELL - AC/DC (1979)

"...Hey, Satan! payin my dues. [...] Hey Momma! Look at me!..."

SOMEBODY TO LOVE

- Jefferson Airplane (1967)

"...Tears are running, they're all running down your breast. And your friends, baby. They treat you like a guest..."

- Queen (1976)

"...I just gotta get out of that prison cell. Someday I'm gonna be free."

BAD MOON RISING - CCR (1969)

"...I know the end is coming soon. [...] I hear the voice of rage and ruin."

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS- Foreigner (1984)

"... I'm gonna take a little time. A little time to look around me. I've got nowhere else to hide. It looks like love has finally found me..."

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' - The Mamas And The Papas (1965)

"...you know the preacher likes the cold, he knows I'm gonna stay..."

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE - The Doors (1967)

"People are strange when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly when you're alone."

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD - Tears For Fears (1985)

"...acting on your best behaviour. Turn your back on mother nature..."

YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE - The Supremes (1966)

"...how long must I wait? How much more can I take?..."

SMALLTOWN BOY - Bronski Beat (1984)

"...But the answers you seek will never be found at home. The love that you need will never be found at home..."

HOTEL CALIFORNIA - Eagles (1976)

"...we are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave..."

KIDS IN AMERICA - Kim Wilde (1981)

"...Much later, baby, you'll be saying never mind. You know life is cruel, life is never kind..."

THE PASSENGER - Iggy Pop (1977)

"...And everything was made for you and me. All of it was made for you and me..."

RUSSIANS - Sting (1985)

"...There is no monopoly of common sense on either side of the political fence..."

DON'T STOP ME NOW - Queen (1978)

"...I am a satellite. I'm out of control..."

BOYS DON'T CRY - The Cure (1980)

"...I tried to laugh about it. Cover it all up with lies. I tried to laugh about it.Hiding the tears in my eyes..."

GHOST TOWN - The Specials (1981)

"...Do you remember the good old days before the ghost town?..."

MIDNIGHT BLUE - E.L.O. (1979)

"...and what you're searchin' for can never be the same, but what's the difference 'cause they say what's in a name?..."

SOS - ABBA (1975)

"...I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind..."

BREAK ON THROUGH (TO THE OTHER SIDE) - The Doors (1967)

"...Made the scene, week to week, day to day, hour to hour. Gate is straight, deep and wide..."

HURT SO BAD - Little Anthony And The Imperials (1964)

"...I know you don't know what I'm goin' through. Standing here looking at you. Well, let me tell you that it hurts so bad..."

LIVIN' THING - E.L.O. (1976)

"...Making believe this is what you conceived from your worst day. Oh, moving in line then you look back in time to the first day..."

PAINT IT BLACK - The Rolling Stones (1966)

"...Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts..."

I WANT TO BREAK FREE - Queen (1984)

"...It's strange but it's true, yeah: I can't get over the way you love me like you do, but I have to be sure when I walk out that door: Oh, how I want to be free..."

BREAKFAST IN AMERICA - Supertramp (1979)

"...Take a look at my girlfriend. She's the only one I got. Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot..."

OWNER OF A LONELY HEART - Yes (1983)

"...Say , you don't want to chance it. You've been hurt so before..."

PSYCHO KILLER- Talking Heads (1977)

"...Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire.."

EVER FALLEN IN LOVE - Buzzcocks (1978)

"...You spurn my natural emotions. You make me feel I'm dirt, and I'm hurt and if I start a commotion I run the risk of losing you, and that's worse..."

PICTURE BOOK - The Kinks (1968)

"...Picture book, of people with each other to prove they love each other..."

MY FAIRY KING - Queen (1973)

"...Then came man to savage in the night. To run like thieves and to kill like knives. To take away the power from the magic hand. To o bring about the ruin to the promised land..."

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Blue -> personal favourites

[xray-vex]

The love that you need will never be found at home

Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

[Smalltown Boy // Bronski Beat]

[swimmingleo]

Changes: or to take the higher ground before it's too late

I'm going to be real here folks, I cry ugly tears to this song. Bad.

Changes is a song on Cam's album "The Otherside". It's country, it's folk and it's an album a bit influenced by changes in Cam's life (a change of label, personal life). She collaborated with Harry on the song Changes, as she opened for him on a venue and was already working with Tyler Johnson.

From what I gathered: Harry sent her the demo of the song, implying he made most of the writing on this one. What I'm basing this claim on is her interview for Rolling Stones (read it here):

I heard [the demo] and was just like, “Oh, this ache to outgrow something that you don’t want to outgrow!” It felt so good. I normally don’t take outside songs [...]

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️when analysing this song, I'm gonna go from the idea of it being written with a queer mindset (how surprising of me). Cam rendered the song beautifully and it is very much her own, but I believe Harry's input is consequential. After all that's his lil whistle and cute fishsona in the MV.

Sad queer analysis ahead.

Let's analyse the lyrics first:

There is a town

Somewhere down a country road

The speaker describes the town to us, from memory, from experience. "There it is, down the road, can you picture it ?"

I see it now

I take it everywhere I go

The speaker doesn't currently live in the town, they're on the move (nice throwback to the coutry road). But despite all the travelling, they realize the sedentary smalltown never leaves them. It's part of them. It left a mark on them.

The river sways, I can almost hear it now

As if to say, "You're not the only one who wants a way out"

The town is so real to the speaker they can sense it, eyes and ears. But it gets a bit dark: the river sways like it's trying to leave its bed. The river is envious of the speaker who managed to leave. The town is so toxic even nature wants to get away from it. Or the speaker resents the town so bad that they project their own resentment on the river.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like I don't know you anymore

I memorize those roads

This is the call for the speaker to leave for good. Their motive doesn't seem to be ambitious or anything grand. They leave because they apprehend a feeling. Apprehending a feeling, something that may not even happen, is the way of an anxious person. Anxiety is the motive of their departure. However, they still memorize the roads leading to the town, just in case. Perhaps one day they'll come back.

Somewhere out in the big wild country

Someone's fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like their hearts won't ever break

Suddenly it's about love ! Young love, one that is lived in the small compartment of a car, somewhere hidden and safe in the big wild country. As if the countryside was unexplored and threatening.

God bless the young hearts sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with their friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

The speaker looks at the youth with tenderness, wishing them the best. But once again, they're not in the town in the present time, they don't see the youngsters fooling around, they can only guess from first-hand experience. And it's very specific: falling in love, getting drunk with friends and thinking everything's gonna be easy like that forever until it's not and heartbreak ensues.

From there I hop in with the raw queer theme of those lyrics. It started by falling in love and it ended up in a heartbreak. In between, the speaker got drunk for the first time with their friends, people they trusted enough to let go a little, but in the end everything changed. Why ? Alcohol makes you forget about code of conduct, how you're supposed to behave. It makes you say or do things you might not have done sober.

We can interprete this chorus as the beginning of the end for the speaker. It's the only part of the song evocating the past, and it's fun and easy, but it's also where things started to get bad the way they are in the present. Something might have happened that first time the speaker got drunk and it marked the end of innocence and careless childhood, and it probably has to do with love as no other factor is provided apart from falling in love and heartbreak.

They never leave

They're all havin' babies now

Watchin' daytime TV

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

They. With Harry, it's always You, Me, and They. They are having babies, all of them, like it's not a very difficult thing to do, it's just natural. They have the leisure of the day, not a thing to worry about, if not gossip. It's not implied anymore, the small town is downright cruel. Gossip fuels it, but on behalf of someone else, and that someone is most definitely the speaker who left and who describes its inhabitants in the most mundane way, perhaps with a hint of contempt. The speaker seems bitter.

So, I go

'Cause I don't wanna feel like you don't know me anymore

Don't recognize my face

Reprise of the pre-chorus except now, the speaker provides another reason for their departure. Not only they feared they wouldn't know the town anymore, they also feared being seen as a stranger. It's not like the speaker actually changed physically: but it might as well feel like it. Again, apprehension, anguish. As implied in the chorus, things changed to the point where the speaker feels they would seem like a whole another person to the rest of the town, a stranger, a threat to the integrity of the conservatives. So they leave before this shift in perception can happen.

There ain't nothing here for me anymore

They say they don't hear from me anymore

And I don't wanna hear it anymore

The town is not outwardly hostile. It's still the town that saw the speaker as a kid. The town doesn't understand why the speaker left, but the speaker won't give in and get in touch. They want to be as far away as possible, until they don't hear the questions, the river, everything. It's almost like the speaker doesn't carry the town in their heart at all. They want to forget it all, and it hurts everytime the town tries to lure them back in. The way Cam sings it is painful to me man

Somewhere out in the big wild country

I was fallin' in love in a backseat

Givin' it away

Like my heart won't ever break

Had such a young heart sippin' cheap wine

Gettin' drunk with my friends for the first time

Thinkin' nothing's gonna change

'Til everything changes

Yeah, just the confirmation of the chorus being the speaker's experience. I went ahead and assumed it was already lol but it's like a plot twist effect. It's dramatic. It's a personal song to someone.

TO MAKE IT SHORT to me this song is intense and very in touch with the queer experience. Though it describes a specific situation, it is surprisingly not that detailed or full of metaphors the way Harry often writes: this town could be literally any smalltown in the countryside. The backseat could be the one of any car, cheap wine is something any teen can afford. I like to think Harry wrote it for himself but is also aware so many people went through the same thing, and still will. I have to admit I'm heavily biased writing this, as the experience of a queer kid struggling to find their place in a well settled smalltown is familiar.

GETTING DRUNK AND QUEER IDENTITY is an analogy Harry already used in Fine Line when he sang "We'll get the drinks in so I'll get to thinking of her". To drink is to let go, to unveil the most subconscious aspects of yourself you might not want to deal with otherwise. You don't care about judgement and you get to explore those parts freely. In Changes, this is the last memory they recall before stating the changes and their departure. Perhaps getting drunk for the first time would be when they realized they're queer. Or acted upon it, causing their little world to shake. They chose to leave before it eventually wouldn't feel like a choice anymore. There is no life for people like them in a cruel smalltown.

SMALLTOWN BOY

This song reminds me an awful lot of Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat. The song is about a queer boy having to leave the smalltown where he grew up because of persecutions and no future prospects.

Mother will never understand why you had to leave, Smalltown Boy

They say they don't hear from me anymore, Changes

But the answers you seek will never be found at home, the love that you need will never be found at home

There is nothing here for me anymore

Other people not understanding why they leave. People who can't truly empathize even when they mean no harm. They would never understand the speaker's departure, because those people get to find love and have babies and live a peaceful life in the countryside.

You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

Livin' off the gossip of a cruel small town

Yeah yeah. I really struggle with just seeing this song as nostalgia when such harsh words are being used. I do believe there is a part of fondness for that town, that countryside setting and the early days. But it's not all tender memories.

CHANGES AND ERODA

Of couuuurse we all noticed the adorable purple fish with the pearl necklace. It represents Harry, no question, as it whistles Harry's part. And of couuuuurse we all made the link with the erodian fish, and some even noticed they formed the bluegreener pair when their colors are inverted.

It makes sense for those fishes to be connected with this interpretation of Changes. Both works are about a small town, lost in the nature, where the people are watching, aware of everything that isn't normal, that is peculiar. The early life of the peculiar boy is similar in every way to the early life of the speaker in Changes. The fish in Adore You grows too big for the island and has to leave, and though Eroda makes amends with the peculiar boy, he leaves as well because his future, his fulfilment, is somewhere else. So does the speaker in Changes.

IN CONCLUSION

The more I write posts like this, the more endeared I am by Harry's world. How Harry writes for himself, but also for other people with songs like this. How nature finds its way in all that he does. How grounded he is, how he doesn't seem to forget where he came from. It really is such a rare thing to see in a mainstream popstar's writing and art. How can someone say he sold his soul to LA is beyond me