#smeyer is not it

[fuckmeyer]

Isabella Swan, Local Vampire Fucker & Werewolf Lover, wants you to know she's Cautious and Responsible

[ezzakennebba]

anyway bella was 18 and pregnant for only 28 days before she was giving birth.

twilight is a horror saga.

[imthe1wthewickedcurveball]

She’s a 4 but you can’t hear her thoughts and she wears a long khaki skirt

[mysonisnotrodney]

[railmerosalie]

*Edward and Bella about to happily get married*

Jacob: hey Bella, is this dude bothering you ??

[edwardsdeathcabcd]

if stephanie meyer didn’t want me to read bella swan as a lesbian maybe she shouldn’t have made her blood lavender scented

[nadinebyrn]

i need someone to rewrite the whole twilight saga and fix all Stephenie Meyer's mistakes

[f0rkz]

Ngl when I watch Twilight it always makes me remember that I actually don’t even like twilight. I actually dislike twilight BUT. I fucking love the concept of twilight it was just so so so poorly executed and it pisses me off to no end. Anyways Bella and Jacob should’ve been the canon endgame idgaf

[andyis-sandy]

guys, my autistic ass brain has come up with a new idea.

hear me out.

twilight stuilly.

billy is our edward here obviously, that man screams vampire to me.

but at the same time i feel like his parent situation is more applicable in being able to write him as our bella.

and then theres the whole issue of who the other members of our vampire family would be.

[fuckmeyer]

if smeyer wasn't a coward vamp!Bella would have immediately eaten her daughter Rensesmem whole-hog like Saturn Devouring His Son

[personalheroin]

bella rolling a joint up in her bedroom after edward left her in the woods but this time she walked home like a normal person.

[imthe1wthewickedcurveball]

[witchthewriter]

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race and any size reader. Thank you for the request; they’re open btw!!!

a/n: pretend Jasper doesn’t exist or they aren’t together, m’kay?

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

INFP

Ravenclaw

Chaotic Good

Aquarius Sun, Pisces Moon, Cancer Rising

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:  

Pair of walking disasters who cannot function without each other

Old married couple even though you aren’t that old

Similar trauma but different ways of coping

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿  

・Alice had visions of you for years before meeting. She would get so excited every time it happened - she yearned for someone to love. 

・She was anxious to meet you, not wanting to make a bad impression. 

・You guys met years before Edward and Bella. You were in your early 20s, barely surviving adulthood when you bumped into a woman at work. 

   “I am so sorry!” You bent down, picking up the books from the floor. 

“No it was my fault-” Alice’s sweet voice seemed to twinkle. 

・She didn’t know you’d be at work that day (she came every day hoping to see you.) And that rainy Tuesday at the book store was your first meeting. 

・Alice is a very romantic person, always bringing flowers, chocolates or gifts. 

    “You really don’t need to do this,” you smiled at her. 

“Oh but I do. I have to make up for the years we haven’t been together.” 

・She wouldn’t tell you about her being a vampire until your 6 month anniversary. It was getting harder and harder to excuse the weird things that had happened. 

・You have an open-mind anyway. And knowing that beings like vampires exist ... it made life seem more interesting. 

・She loves doing your makeup

・Never feeling unsafe whenever Alice is there. You know she could take on anyone/anything. 

・She leaves kiss marks with her lipstick on your books, mirrors etc

・Alice makes you lunch whenever you go to work

・” Do you know how happy you make me?” 

・Sometimes you feel as if she’s waaaay more sophisticated than you, but she always shuts down those thoughts. 

・Always dropping you off/picking you up from work

・She gives you a lot of forehead kisses, although she is shorter than you. You have to lean down or have her on her tippy toes. 

・Very big on affection and PDA. Will kiss you no matter where she is or who you’re with. 

・Alice likes to have her arm linked with yours. It makes her feel grounded - sometimes she feels as if she could float away without you. 

・She hand-makes clothes for you, and they always fit perfectly. Alice has literally perfected sewing and knitting. 

・I can definitely see you guys adopting a cat, a black and grey one that likes to sleep in your lap. 

NSFW🔞minors dni!!!

・Alice is a flurry of hands and lips. She wants all of you and wants you now. 

・Actually will have sex in restrooms, changerooms, the car...

・Alice isn’t overly loud but cannot control her moaning when she’s close to cumming 

・She has a lot of energy and rarely gets tired or bored from sex. Alice also has a high sex drive but she never makes you feel responsible for it. 

・Alice is somewhat experienced, not overly but not completely clueless. 

・I think Alice would like to experiment with sex and kinks. Because she loves you so dearly, she never even looks at anyone with sexual/romantic interest. 

・Her favourite positions are either lotus & cowgirl (with her on top)

・I think Alice would prefer receiving head rather than giving it. She absolutely loves the attention. 

・Alice is a switch though but is more sub than a dom. She likes that you’re in charge and she’s in safe hands. 

・She doesn’t like completely serious sex - giggling and laughing is preferred. 

・Has a praise kink

・She can talk a lot during sex and sometimes she comes out with the most randomest stuff

[railmerosalie]

I did the thing

[badlucksav]

Bree Tanner deserved better, and not just from a narrative standpoint (although I think it would have been interesting to see how the story changed if she’d remained alive), but in regards to Bella. Bree gets only a handful of paragraphs in Eclipse, but we see Bella describe and empathize with her, even noting that the girl looked young, perhaps only fifteen. And then Bree is dismembered by Felix, and she’s never mentioned again.

Imagine if Bella had hung onto that little girl, felt remorse and sympathy for her. Bree was, after all, turned and then subsequently killed because of Bella. All of the newborns were. But we don’t hear anything about them, only how they were violent monsters. They were all human once, but the narrative ignores this. Bree was an actual child. If it wasn’t for Bella, and by extension, the Cullens, Bree would have lived a normal life in Seattle.

Bella should have thought about all of this. It should have been in the back of her mind: guilt and sadness and maybe a little self-loathing too. And the continued fear that maybe when she went through the change, she would be that uncontrollable, bloodthirsty creature too.

But of course, Stephanie Meyer chose to ignore Bella’s trauma per usual, and so we never hear of Bree again; instead we get sappy romance and a vampire-hybrid baby, Bella’s trauma forgotten and never truly addressed. But that’s nothing new here.

Anyway, Bree Tanner deserved better.

[lionetlamb]

i will always be unashamedly team jacob. let me live in my slice of delusion