#so I wrote some more sad poetry about it as is my wont

[ryteu]

The Parting Glass

The clock once more, as always, chimes the time

And says it's now that I must take my leave;

This merry holiday away, reprieve

From decay, numbing choking, in a lime,

Approaches now its destined apogee;

The fading final hours like violets shrink

Beneath the wrinkled leaves now fallen free

From Springtime boughs already at the brink.

No last song is sung when my time to rise

Has come; only I in sad and silent

Procession stand, my mind made resilient,

And go, hiding the light that in my eyes

No longer shines as I leave it behind

To serve as guide when next I may venture

To break the yoke, escape the snare, unbind

Myself from my ceaseless, senseless torture.

Still draw I ever toward that distant light,

Secure in mind that I will be welcomed

Back again to harbor safe and becalmed,

Though tossed within a dark and storm-wracked night.

There's no voyage I would not undertake

To pursue those beacons that I have left

Behind among those I could ne'er forsake,

For if lost, of all good I'd be bereft.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Request for Doki Doki: Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki having the ability tell when their normally stoic S/O is experiencing an emotion when most can't. (Ex: Tell when the S/O is happy, sad, angry, etc.)

Being able to understand their stoic S/O

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Monika, Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki ]

[ Doki Doki Literature Club ]

A really interesting request! I missed write for my lovely ladies so thanks for the request <3 i hope I made it right, I almost forget how to write for them

Monika

Monika accepts and love you just the way you are, not judge nor forcing to change, so you being quite stoic is something Monika will never take as something bad, is just the way you are and she loves you

Although it take her quite a while to get used to it, even if you are open to talk about whats on your mind not showing much emotions sometimes makes her a little anxious, but over time she just learn to love it too

There are a lot of diferent forms to express your feeling, not only by direct words or even facial expressions, and thats one of the reasons she loves so much poetry, it help her express a little better when she has problems to express whats on her mind or heart, so she may suggest you writing poems to help you express yourself more (or anything you want to try, she won't force you to exactly be poetry), she will teach you how or even learn with you how to do whatever you want to use to help you express

Also, Monika will write quite a lot of poems for you, she may be quite nervous and even shy at first to show them to you but she will give them to you anyways, and is thanks to all those poems she wrote for you and with what you decided to use to express more yourself (if you decided to do it) how Monika slowly start to learn how to identify what you feel, wich end up leading her to have more and more confident on herself and this relationship

Monika feels quite prideful about the fact that she can read you and tell what you are feeling (but she won't say it out loud), and with that security she will start inviting you over with her friends of the club more often since she can help you or them if they feel nervous or awkward about the other

Also, everytime Monika notice that you are happy she is happy too, it gives her a sense of satisfaction and also warm up her heart, it always give her a small boost of confidence that lead her to show some affection, like a silent sign of telling you that she is happy too (most of the time are small things like taking your hand or even leaning on you a little, small things that she want you to notice)

Sayori

Sayori finds it a little difficult to have a stoic partner, she loves you and she is sure about that but she is quite insecure, she has problems when relating to others and your stoic nature just triggers her to be really scare of messing things up between you two

Sayori really wants to make you happy, she wants for you to be happy with her but since you don't show much emotions she is quite scare of not doing it or even making you uncomfortable with how insisting she can be, so her worries goes from one side to another

If you are open with what you think and feel by words it will help her but at first it will still not be enough, and yet she wont ask for more, Sayori already feels quite anxious about messing things up to ask you for more

However, Sayori is clingy, affectionate and sometime a little bit invasive, so after some time of being close to each other Sayori will just learn how to read you perfectly, it happens so slowly but naturaly that Sayori practically didn't noticed it!

It makes Sayori relax the fact that she is able to read your emotions now, even so she didn't noticed imediatly, she is just too happy to know when you are happy at her side or when you need some space by just looking at you, she is too focus on being happy and that she can finally relax and finally don't feel like she will mess things up that she just take it as something natural

Honestly, its something that end up surprising her friends of the literature club! they are happy for Sayori since they have seen her being anxious about the whole thing and now that she can relax they are happy too, but they are even more surprised by the fact that Sayori just didn't noticed when it happened nor know how to explain how she does it, but at least she is able to do it now and they are happy for ther (although, Natsuki will may complain about how weird it is that she doesn't know how she even does it but she is happy for her too)

This is something that make Sayori inmensily happy, and once she become aware of her own hability she will be purposely saying and doing affectionate things just to be able to see your reaction, and everytime is a positive she becomes quite flustered and really happy (and, unlike you, she is quite obvious with how happy she is)

Yuri

Yuri is already quite anxious so her partner being stoic sometimes make her anxious and nervous, the idea of you may being judging her bugs her mind but she is not too afected by it when you reasure her and show her love in your own way, it easy her worries

Yuri is not someone who judge, she can considere herself as someone weird but she slowly learns to have more confidence, so she wont judge you in the slighest for being stoic and don't showing much emotions (honestly, sometimes she finds is quite fascinating and even envy it a little, considering it as a sign of being mentally stronge, wich she want to have)

Yuri isn't someone who ask for much in a relasionship since she is more used to be alone and still need time for herself, even so she still will want for your reasurance, she want you to remind her that you love her just the way she is and that is okay (but will never dare to ask for it out loud)

At some point Yuri will just learn to see thought your stoic expression and see what you truly feel since she spend quite sometime looking at you, between the admiration and the anxiety she just learned to identify those little hints you give her about what you feel

For Yuri it comes so natural to slowly learn to read you that she doesn't make a big deal out of it, she just notice that she can do it one day and considerate a personal victory but doesn't tell anyone else unless it comes to the topic, is something that she mainly keep to herself (close to her heart since is something that makes her really happy)

Being able to read your emotions gives Yuri more confidence, knowing how happy you are at her side or whenever you feel uncomfortable give Yuri a unique feeling of conection towards you, it makes her feel closer to you what lead her to be more open to you too, now with more confidence

It isn't exactly that is something Yuri hide from others, she won't deny that she can do it nor how make her feel to her friends of the club, but it is something that make her flustered whenever someone point it out, she becomes shy and blushy (but if is you the one pointing it out she will be way too flustered but still will want to know your reaction to that, hoping is a good one)

Natsuki

Natsuki is not the best when showing her true emotions, most of the time she just come across as rude for being at the defensive, but for being in a relationship she had overcome that part and is able to be more open (even when at the start the idea of being in a relationship with you made her flustered and try to brush it off)

You being so stoic is both a good and a bad thing for her, from one side she find it quite cool and helps her feel more relaxed the fact that you won't make a face or express negative emotions toward her with your expression (wich she would hate), but it makes her feel troubles by don't being able to tell what you are feeling, specially when she is too shy prideful to ask you directly

As much as it can trouble her at times Natsuki will not judge you for just being you, she will just get used to your usual stoicismand is even willing to stand up for you if anyone dare to say something bad about it, even if you say that is not needed she can't help but get defensive over you too (is one of her ways to showing care and how much she loves you)

Natsuki can be a little clingy at times since, aside from her friends at the club, you are the only one she can rely on so after all the time you two spend together she will just learn to understand you through your usual stoic expression. Natsuki shows affection throught indirect ways, such as the poems or even baking cupcakes for you so she not only know how it is to express yourself by indirect ways but also she pays close attention whenever she does something for you because she wants to know your reaction (but tries to do it discreetly since she doesn't want to embarrassed herself when feeling so expoused by admiting it), thats how she end up learning to see throught your stoicism and, honestly, she is grateful that she can do it

Honestly, being able to tell what you feel despite your stoicism is something that make her quite prideful, she indirectly brag about how she can read you perfectly fine and even indirectly end up mentioning it to her friends at some point, just wanting to show how amazing it is! but more important than the pride is that she feel closer to you, like if, somehow, this can tell that you two have a deeper bond, making her flustered but also inmensily happy, as if this let her know she has somewhere to belong

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hiiii it's me again😂❤️ Can I have a ff where Artie Is at Arkham and it's his last day in. and x Reader comes to pick him up from the hospital🥺 and they go home together, and as always if you want to add some cuddles or She helps Artie to take a warm bath🥺 It would be nice

Oh my dear friend, thank you so much for the request. It was a very emotional ride and very intimate to write. I hope with all my heart that you will like it. Love you so much!

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

The moment the door opened you felt your heart crumble. That heavy, white door with the tiney window. He must have stared at this window for so many nights.

The bed was empty. For a second you feared that he broke out of the hospital. If that was the case they would find him and lock him up again. Way longer than last time. The thought of being seperated from him for another few weeks or months seemed unbearable. Looking back at the last weeks without him made you wonder how you managed to stay sane yourself. The empty bed, the stillness of his  empty apartment...it felt like the walls were closing in on you. Night for night was spent on his couch, alone, trying to remember his skin on yours, pressing his pillow close to your face to smell the remains of his sweat and shampoo that got caught up in the soft fabric.

He was missing from you like a part of your very own body. And now you`re gonna get your missing part back. Taking it home with you. Filling his apartment with love again.

Your eyes searched for him. That room. Standig between these four walls made you feel snowblind. All the white. Even Arthur was dressed in white.  The only contrast was his dark hair .

Arthur was sitting in the corner of the room. Crumbled up on the floor, like a piece of paper. Like a love letter that wasn`t well written enough to send it, so the writer just formed it into a ball and threw it across the room.

But you wanted to read it. Every sentence. Every letter. You wanted to take that page and uncrumble it. Make it readable again, to realize how beautifully written it actually was. Poetry. The purest form there ever was.

Arthur was the poem who remained unnoticed. Unseen by so many. Even by the ones who wrote him.

The doctor kept looking at you, talked about last night and how Arthur kept whimpering your name. But all you could do was focusing on that one curls that fell to Arthurs forehead. His head was hanging heavy on his shoulders. He looked downwards.

"Artie, darling? I`m here. " you got up to him to knee on the ground.

Arthur finally lifted his head. The circles under his eyes darkened  since you saw him two days ago. He looked exhausted as you gently stroke his hair. A tired smile crossed his sad eyed face. His curls felt greasy like he didnt washed it for at least a week.

"You look tired, darling"

Arthur tried to get up but he seemed so much weaker than he was when he got here.

"Im so tired, Y/N. I`m so very tired." He sat down on the floor again "You`re really here aren`t you?"

"I am.  Its your last day. I will take you home with me now".

Arhur started to cry "Can you please hug me. I need to feel that this is real. I want to hug you but....I can`t"

It was now that you realized that he was still in his handcuffs.

You wrapped your arms around him so tight you felt his ribcage poking you. Silent tears fell from his eyes onto your shoulders.  "I missed you so much, Arthur. I was so incompleate without your breath on my neck at night. "

He nodded, unable to answer. He just cried.

"Cry, sweetheart.its okay let it all out. It`s over now. You can go home with me. No more lonely night in this cold room. We`re gonna go home now and I`m gonna make you a nice, hot bath before we disappear under the sheets.

The doctor looked at you with disguise "A hot bath sounds like a plan. Mr Fleck refused to take a shower for 9 days straight. "

You didnt liked the tone in her voice.

"Why is he still wearing his handcuffs anyway?" you asked.

"Because you can never know with him." The doctor replied, giving him a dirty look.

You wanted to tell her how damn rude she was but you kept silent to not risk anything.

"And he refused to eat,too. We actually thought he wated to starve himself to death in here. Which is illegal."

The anger inside of you grew with every word she said, but you concentrated on Arthur and supported him to get up. "C`mon, darling. We`re gonna leave this place now."

Arthur once again fell into your arms, desperately trying to touch you with his cuffed hands. You held his fingers  inside your fist "You`ll feel better soon, I promise."

The doctor took a step closer and got the keys to unlock the handcuffs. "Goodbye, Mr. Fleck. " her voice sounded cold and heartless. You noticed her taking a step back as Arthur looked up to starte into her eyes. Almost like she was afraid of him. How could anyone be afraid of him?

Arthur didnt answer. The second his hands were free he hugged you with his whole body. So tight it felt like you shared the same jumpsuit. He held your face between his hands. They were as gentle as always. The most gently hands in the world. He seemed different. But still the same. His fingertips stroke your face, your cheekbones and nose, your chin. "I missed touching you, Y/N. Oh, I need to touch you so bad. "  The intensivity of his eyes never left, even when he looked as tired as  he did now. He was so touch starved. Just as you.

"Not in here, Mr Fleck. You know the rules." The doctors voice really got on your nerves. Did she had any idea how hard it was not being able to share your love ? Did she even knew how it felt to be in love? To be forced to leave your other half behind? At a mental hospital?

You both ignored her, touching each others faces "I missed the taste of you" he breathed upon your mouth, right before your lips met. Arthur kissed you with all that was within him. His mouth was dry from all the medication. His lips cracked.  But his kiss was full of love and admiration for you. Full of longing and pain.

Your fingers ran through his messy hair. It was getting even longer than usual. Almost reaching his shoulders.

"Please!" The doctor started to sound angry. "This is not allowed! You`ve got enough time in your hands when you`re out of this building".

Your lips parted again.

"Thats right Dr. Finn. Goodbye." you grabbed Arthurs hand and lead him out of the room.

Before you left Arkham Arthur was lead into the changing room, where he got rid of his white clothing. He looked so much more like himself when he got back. His brown cardigan made him look softer than ever before. He touched the soft, worn out fabric of it, convincing himself that this was all real. Grounding.

It felt good to leave this bulding which became his second home after so many years of being in and out. A home that felt more like a prison since there was someone waiting for him outside these walls.

The whole way home  on the tram Arthur rested his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. He needed sleep.

"I havent slept for days" he whispered while you sqeezed his hand. "I couldnt close an eye without you by my side. Even the sleeping pills couldnt help."

"We`re gonna make you rest as soon as we get home, Artie."

Artur almost drifted off into sleep on the ride home. Leaning on your shoulder was enough to make him feel save enough to get sleepy.

When you arrived home you took off his sweater and pants "You`re freezing, baby."

"I know."

"Do you still want to take a bath before going to bed?"

"Yeah...please! I feel kinda... dirty".

You kissed his forehead and handed him a bathrobe "Put this on while the water is still running. It will keep you warm. I will make you some soup, okay? You gotta eat something,too."

Arthur nodded "Okay. But...I`m afaraid my stomach cant hold it. They gave me some new meds and it was getting worse again. "He looked ahamed as you walked into the kitchen to boil some water. "Dont worry, Artie. We`ll go slowly. But we have to try. I wont let you go to bed with an empty stomach today. It must have been days since you had eaten something. "

Arthur followed you into the kitchen. He needed to be near you every second. He looked so lost in his bathrobe. So helpless.

"Alright, the soup will be  done when you finished bathing. " you smiled. Arthur mirrored your smile and followed you  back into the bathroom. He stil walked like he had his handcuffs on, which was a sad thing to wittness.

Arthur froze when you helped him out of his bathrobe and into the bathtub. He was even skinnier than usual. His body looked like he was close to a break down. His shoulderbone seemed like it was about to burst through his fragile skin. He`s got some small bruises on his wrists and his tummy was sucked in.

The warm water felt like an embrace as he let himself sink into it. He immediately closed his eyes and awaited your touch.

"I`m so gald to be home" he mumbled as you started to shampoo his sweaty hair. Washing his beautiful curls always felt very intimate to you. You had a thing for his hair. Every strain of it was holy to you. Every curl a poem.

You noticed a small wound on his forehead as you tried not to let the shampoo run into his eyes. "You`re hurt"

"I know. It was my fault. I did it to myself. I`m sorry if I disappoint you"

"Artie, you could never disappoint me. Do you hear me?"

He nodded.

"I love you more than anything, Arthur"

"My whole life I never loved anything else" he replied.

You stopped washing his hair for a second to lean in to kiss him. The warm water dripped down his forehead. You tasted his shampoo upon your lips.

He was home with you.

Life was sweet.

You took the sponge and washed away the pain and loneliness. Every bad memory, every sleepless night at Arkham. You washed it all way. Watching the pain dissappear in his eyes.

Arthurs musicles started to relax under your  tender touch. Even his tense tummy.

He was thankful for all the attention, the love. A smile crossed his face after he got out of the bathtub. You hugged him while he was still naked.

"You feel better now, sweetheart?"

" A lot, Y/N. Thank you. I`m trying to eat some soup now. Just for you!"

"Thats great, Artie. lets do it" you handed him oneof his sweaters. "Um....can I have....would you let me wear one of yours? " he asked with his little voice.

"Of course, Arthur. Oh god, sure. Wait I will get you one!"

A minute later you came back with your fave sweater. Arthur slipped into it like it was his.

"Thank you so much. Its so comortig to wear your clothes".

"Anytime, baby" you got the bowl of soup.

Arthur sat down on the couch. He didnt even asked for a cigarette.

You noticed his eyes watering.

"Whats wrong, Artie?"

"I`m afraid I might throw up. I`ll be so embarassing."

You took the spoon and put it to his lips "There is no reason to be ashamed. The important thing is to try. If you have to throw up its okay. "

"I threw up at Arkham and they yelled at me"

"I´m not gonna yell at you."

"I know....I know that." he whispered.

Arthur swallowed after you fed him the first spoon.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

"Another?"

"Yeah"

You fed him three spoons of soup until he was close to spit it out again.

"Its okay, baby. Take your time. We`ve got all the time in the world to make you eat."

"Thank you so much, Y/N. I dont know what I would do without you."

Arthur waited five minutes until he was ready for another four spoons.

"I´m proud of you, Arthur. Really. You`re doing great.

"Thank you Y/N. For helping me with that. I think thats all I can eat for today. But maybe....tomorrow. Or later when I wake up. Maybe you can leave the bowl of soup next to my bed"

"Sure, darling." You kissed the corner of his mouth and placed the bowl on the table.

"Try to get some sleep now. I`ll be right here with you".

Arthur layed down on the couch as you joined him.

His huge blanket covered both of your bodies.

"Finally" he muttered, pulling you close to his heart, burying his face in the crook of your neck, kissing it gently as he breathed you in.

The familiar smell of his own sheets helped him relax.

"Y/N?"

"Yes Arthur?"

"Would you....like...sing me to sleep or something?"

"Of course,my love"

Arthur closed his tired eyes as your voice quietly echoed through apartment 8J.

"The moon is a silver dollar shining up in the sky

There is a dream we can buy.

Sweetheart you and I

The moon is a silver dollar

Made for lovers to share

And with you in my arms

I`m a millionaire

Our care in troubles

Will all be small change

Someday they all change

Into a dream come true

The moon is a silver dollar

What a glorious sight

Lets invest at him love

Tonight"

---

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl

@aarthurfleckk @mylovelycrazyworld @clownalog @ajokerfangirl  @the-one-who-is-chaos

[she-wolf-of-highgarden]

Arya and the Use of Stupid

One word that Arya uses a lot is “stupid.”. In part it is kind of a weird call back to Lyanna who also called her siblings, or at least Benjen, stupid [see Bran III in ADwD]. Which raises a random question; where did Arya pick it up? Ned? Was the Warden of the North calling things ‘stupid’? No one else really calls things stupid like Arya...anyway that is not the point of this. The point is that more than being a random call back to Lyanna, her use of “stupid” is a coping mechanism, and a pretty common one with children. 

Take sewing for an example. People say that Arya calling it stupid shows that she has no respect for the craft. I dont think that is the case. Arya has shown she appreciates the work that is put into it. 

"I'm sorry, my lady." Arya suddenly felt bad for her, and ashamed. "I'm sorry I tore the acorn dress too. It was pretty." - Arya IV, ASoS 

“Maybe...I could wash it.” Arya said doubtfully.

“Washing it wont do any good.” Sansa said. “Not if you scrubbed all day and all night. The silk is ruined.”

“Then I’ll...make you a new one.” Arya said.

Sansa threw her head back in disdain. “You? You couldn’t sew a dress fit to clean the pigsties.” - Sansa III, AGot

She has a tendency to rip her dresses and in Sansa’s case she threw an orange slice at her, but she still shows remorse for both. You know she feels bad for Sansa because she actually offers to fix it. Arya should be more careful and thoughtful about all of that, but the girl is nine. Children are not know to be amazing at thinking ahead, like what happens when she ruins the dress. 

Dresses and sewing is not stupid because she sees it as useless or women as lesser than [the women are important too!], she hates it because she is not good at it. Not only is she not good at it her sister is good at it and everyone compares her to Sansa, which usually does not go in Arya’s favor. 

“ Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward.” - Arya I, AGoT 

"I ruined that gown that Lady Smallwood gave me, and I don't sew so good." She chewed her lip. "I don't sew very well, I mean. Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith's hands." - Arya VII, ASoS 

Of course she thinks it’s stupid. If she does not say that it is stupid then she has to admit it bothers her. She has to admit that being bad at sewing bothers her. Being compared to Sansa bothers her. Having the hands of a blacksmith bothers her. Arya is not going to admit any of that. 

We also hear about that ivory silk dress again. 

“Suddenly Arya remembered the morning she had thrown the orange in Sansa's face and gotten juice all over her stupid ivory silk gown. There had been some southron lordling at the tourney, her sister's stupid friend Jeyne was in love with him.” - Arya IV, ACoK 

That gown still gets to her. The gown she was so worried about fixing is suddenly stupid. I think she still feels a bit bad for that one. And as for Jeyne Poole, Jeyne is Arya’s childhood bully. Of course she is going to think of Jeyne as stupid. If Jeyne is not stupid then it matters what she has to say, and we know what Jeyne says does matter to Arya. If it didnt she would not have been hurt by the name calling.

Arya is one of the most emotional characters in the whole series, but she is not going to admit it. She is not going to admit she had weaknesses. 

This brings up another important factor in her use of the word. Arya tends to call things stupid especially when she is scared and trying to be brave. With all of the things she has seen it is normal to be afraid. Most adults would be terrified going through what she has, but she is a child so she doesn’t see it that way. Weakness? Stupid. The things that scare her? Stupid. The things that make her emotionally vulnerable? Stupid. 

For example after the death of Lord Crewyn 

“When Arya asked who it was, one of the guards told her that Lord Cerwyn had died. The words felt like a kick in the belly. He could never have helped you anyway, she thought as the sisters drove the wagon through the gate. He couldn't even help himself, you stupid mouse. “  - Arya VII, ACoK

Arya was hoping that Lord Crewyn would get her out of Harrenhal and back to Winterfell. She had been so hopeful...and then he died. Arya, generally, does not believe herself to be stupid but she does call herself that, especially when something goes wrong like her way out dying. Arya is mad she had hoped, that she had relied on this man to get her out. Instead of giving into the sadness of knowing she is still enslaved at Harrenhal, she chooses anger even if it is at herself. 

When something is scary or hurts her it’s automatically stupid. 

Gendry wants to be a part of the Brotherhood without Banner’s and leave her? He’s stupid. Ned Dayne says that her father loved someone other than her mother? He’s stupid too. The little girl who played with dolls like Arya once did? Stupid. The titan of Bravoos is kind of scary? It’s stupid. 

Sometimes Arya really is calling someone stupid, but most of the time she is trying to cope. It gets overlooked because it is such a normal childlike mechanism. Tons of children Arya’s age do the same thing, but her stupid get puts to much more adult situations. 

[seoulscenarios]

College AU! Seo Changbin

Sorry this one is out a little later than usual, but my laptop died and wouldn’t turn on so i couldn’t post it T__T but it’s here now. thank you for all your love and support for this series <3

-Major: Music (Vocal) and Composition

-Minor: business studies

-Sports: none,,, he likes sports but not enough to join in when he could be sleeping or writing music

-Clubs: contrary to his sharp image he could be seen frequenting the art department and literature department when the drawing club and poetry club held their meetings. He really liked drawing, deciding that if a music career was out of the question he could really say a big screw you to his parents and become a tattoo artist lmao. He didn’t go to the poetry club as much as he did the drawing club, he went to get inspiration for lyrics and new metaphors n stuff

-So Changbin a vocal major you say???

-Yes he did enjoy singing, he definitely wouldn’t say he was as good as the other students who were professionally trained from a young age but he had his own vocal colour

-Changbin did truly enjoy his course but he wasn’t,,,, passionate about it

-Unlike everyone else on the course who wanted to be singers or train people to sing,,, he just didn’t have that same mentality

-Which is why he chose to do composition as a way to do what he really liked

-Bc Changbin was a rapper

-And was part of the underground rap trio of 3RACHA with 3rd year Chan and fellow 2nd year Jisung

-They were extremely popular on campus,, it’s just a shame his vocal professors thought otherwise when he came in with a sore throat the next day to class

-They frowned upon rap, saying it wasn’t a viable option for Changbin to perform a rap piece about societal issues and that he NEEDED to sing in order to pass the module which needless to say,,, ended with him writing a few more rap tracks where he dissed the school system lmao (these ended up a HIT with the student body and Changbin frequently heard other students listening or quoting the lyrics which made him immensely proud uwu)

-One time he had to redo a module bc he rapped instead of sang at a recital, despite showing his teacher the song he was going to do and he even performed at rehearsal

-He just said screw it on the actual night and changed the track lmao

-Whilst it went down a storm with the students and his friends in the audience, his professors, examiners and the rest of the audience were extremely shocked and unimpressed

-His professor wanted to fail him but said he had too much potential as an artist that he made Changbin perform again in front of the department in order to give him a grade

-Okay so whilst Changbin did like to screw with his department a few times bc they were never lenient towards his ideas about rapping he did genuinely like his course and it meant he could pursue music, albeit different from what he wanted to do

-It was his minor that really gave him trouble

-You see,, he really hated business with a passion like he wanted to burn all his business textbooks n scream in front of the department building

-But he couldn’t bc it was the only reason he was allowed to study music at university

-His parents really did not approve of his career choice, citing how unreliable and unstable it was for the future you know the general consensus a lot of parents have about going into the arts instead of something safe like economics or bsiness or law

-It took countless months of arguing and persuading his parents that he didn’t want to do anything but music that the conceded only IF he picked up business as his minor

-Like,,, don’t get me wrong he could see where his parents were coming from but at the same time,,,, Changbin has such passion for the music world that he couldn’t see himself anywhere but a recording studio writing songs and lyrics, maybe even performing them himself

-He finally wore his parents down by showing them the feedback from his teachers in high school and online where he posted some of his self made tracks that they conceded

-But the business aspect of his course

-Made him want to die :)

-Changbin most certainly did not care for monopolies or business strategies that helped to improve profit margins for a corporate business

-This was exactly what Changbin hated and wrote songs about how it destroyed society but u know,,, it’s fine really

-Until he has to write three 2000 word essays on some business bullshit that he realises just how much he hates business

-Changbin was scarcely passing his business modules, praying to get at least 40% so he could pass instead of having to redo any of the work lmao (if that’s not me @ my modules)

-You could always see him when it was coming up to his deadlines at the library with Woojin cooing over him soothingly, as Changbin was trying NOT to cry about how much he hated business

-If Minho was studying there as well he would buy Changbin stress coffee and they would both sit there complaining about how awful deadlines were lmao

-Though,,,, Changbin was much better at handling the stress than Minho who just downed coffee after coffee

-Changbin just had a idc attitude when it came to his business stuff, saying if he failed it’s not much of a loss bc my parents think I’m wasting my time anyway (oof this hits a little close to home I wont lie)

-But anyway, Woojin would always help him revise for his business exams and would test him on case studies n vocabulary he needed to learn so he never went into them completely clueless

-Once,,, he literally ran to Woojin’s dorm after he got 68% on a business exam and he promised to buy Woojin all the chicken in the world for helping him

-Now, now that’s a tad excessive don’t you think?

-Hyung, I owe you my LIFE

-Changbin NO, just treat me to dinner once and consider it done

-Wow we don’t deserve Woojin

-Speaking of dorms,,,, Changbin rented out an apartment with Hyunjin and Seungmin and well,,,, their apartment was messy as hell

-Okay so first of all,,, they all studied different courses so their lounge area was just a mess of lyrics sheets, bits of fabric and law books strewn all over the place

-Law books served as coasters for left over coffee mugs and more often than not you could always find bits of scrap fabric in them if they’d be left out for too long lmao

-The three of them make Sunday cleaning day bc otherwise,,, well they’re apartment might become inhabitable

-So,,,, back to the plot

-You knew Changbin though it had been a while (read: middle school) since you had last seen him

-One could even say you were really close friends until you had to move away due to your fathers’ job and when u told baby Changbin this,,,, he cried and refused to speak to you and when he finally got round to the fact you were leaving,,,, you had already moved and even though you posted him a letter he didn’t read it out of spite (though he still had the letter uwu,, not that he would let anyone know)

-But ever since you moved away, you never got as close to anyone as you did with Changbin all those years ago and your heart ached a little every time you thought of your childhood friend

-However, you were grown up now and whilst you still got tinges of sadness you were over it and tried your best at your entrance exams so you could get into a good college

-You decided to major in psychology bc you really enjoyed the analysis of people and how the brain worked

-However,,, the uni you went to kinda sucked and you weren’t progressing as much as you thought you would be which made you,,, very frustrated

-So you began to look into other colleges and you contacted one that seemed to have an extremely high satisfaction and employment rate

-When you told your parents that you decided to move college they were apprehensive but when you explained why they did support you

-They were even more supportive bc it was the college that their friends’ son goes to and oh maybe they get in contact with them so their son could show you round campus

-Before you could protest they were on the phone setting up the arrangement

-So when your second year of college rolled round you found yourself at a new college and a new dorm with your stuff in boxes

-Your parents helped you move most of the stuff in but they had to leave early due to a business meeting (lol wasn’t that just ur life though)

-Without so much as a “goodbye sweetie let us know how it all goes” and a hasty kiss to the cheek they left you in the dust with 3 heavy boxes full of stuff you had to move in by yourself

-You sighed, heaving the boxes on top of each other praying that someone would see your struggles

-Luck was on your side that day it would seem

-As you struggled to pick up the three heavy boxes, you felt the weight lighten immensely and a voice piped up

-“You look like you need help, what room are you in?”

-“Uhh, 203”

-“Sweet let’s go”

-Something about the boy seemed familiar but you couldn’t quite place it as you followed him up the stairs to your dorm room

-Once you reached the door you told the boy it was fine and you could take it from here but he insisted on taking the boxes through for you

-Sighing, you fished the keys out of your pocket and unlocked the door, whilst simultaneously apologising for the mess ur room was in

-The boy just laughed, placing the boxes in an empty space as he observed the piles of textbooks and clothes thrown around your room and you froze

-You recognised that laugh

-Your eyes followed him as he took an innocent look around the stuff on your desk, watching him pick up a textbook and flipping through it

-Something seemed to have caught his attention, right at the front of the book and he turned round to look at you scrutinising your face

-“C-changbin?”

-“Y/N?”

-The two of you stared at each other, eyes wandering around the now unfamiliar curves and contours of your faces

-“My parents told me that you were transferring but I didn’t think I would actually see you so soon” changbin said warily, hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck

-“Oh, um, yeah bad college for first year thought I’d try my luck some place different” you replied awkwardly, placing the box you were still holding onto the floor

-“Well,, it’s been a while”

-“Hmmm”

-The room lapsed into an awkward silence and Changbin traced the name in the textbook he was holding, in disbelief that he had finally found his childhood best friend again

-You, on the other hand, couldn’t believe how well Changbin had grown up

-Like he wasn’t a chubby kid but he had truly grown up,,, and well u felt ur throat well up in sadness at the fact you weren’t by his side as he grew up

-“I have to go back,,, it was nice seeing you again Y/N and I’ll catch you round?” changbin’s voice cut through your thoughts and you just nodded, not trusting your voice at that moment

-Of all the days to encounter to your old best friend, it just had to be on your first day at your new college you thought bitterly, glaring at the mess all around you before sighing, knowing it was no use being bitter about it before starting the lengthy process of unpacking

-Changbin, however, as soon as he got back to his apartment began to refile through trying to find the letter you had left him all of those years ago

-Hyunjin and Seungmin heard all the noise and decided to investigate

-Nothing could prepare them for the sight of Changbin with tears marking his face and a slip of paper with childish handwriting on, surrounded by hundreds of other sheets

-They just glanced at each other before leaving the doorway, deciding to confront him about it later

-Changbin didn’t notice his two flatmates, too busy tracing your childish scrawl

-“Binnie!! I know you are angry at me for leaving but I can’t help it. Dad got a new job T__T. I wish I could stay with you. If you are reading this, it means I already left. Ahh, what to do I’m crying. Please write to me Binnie, I wrote my new address on another piece of paper! Love your best friend, Y/N xxxxxxx”

-He reached into the envelope, pulling out another piece of paper where you had written your address as neatly as you could,,, obviously you had gone through much pain to get it as neat as possible so he could read it

-His heart began to ache, knowing that he had the means to contact you all those years ago but he had been an angry child

-Changbin wiped the tears from his face before putting the two pieces of paper back in the envelope and placing it delicately on his desk next to his lyrics book

-He sat on the floor, contemplating his options

-Like on the one hand, he wanted to really talk to you and get his best friend back but on the other hand, he was unsure if you wanted to or whether you had really moved on

-Throwing caution to the wind, he decided that he would try and talk to you again

-I mean he knew where you lived,,, he wondered if you still liked strawberry milk and jellies

-The next day you were surprised to see Changbin at your door holding a carton of strawberry milk and a packet of jellies

-You let him, secretly glad that he came to see you after your awkward encounter yesterday

-“I realised yesterday I was a complete ass, and I guess I was all those years ago for not opening your letter and realising that we still could’ve been friends if I just opened it” he said, standing awkwardly at your desk whilst you sat on the bed

-You laughed at how sad he looked, patting the space next to you gesturing for him to sit there

-His eyes widened before perching right on the edge of the bed,,,, you laughed again and just slapped his arm

-“It’s okay Changbin! Fresh start, we’re both ‘adults’ now so no hard feelings. Tell me about yourself and I’ll tell you what happened to me”

-For the next few hours, you found at everything about Changbin

-From how much he hated business to his new friends, all the way to the fact he was part of an underground rap trio with two of his other friends

-You were impressed, you knew Changbin liked to write lyrics from a young age and you were so proud he honed in on that passion to pursue a career in it

-Changbin listened raptly as you told him all about how much you suffered through high school, feeling like you didn’t have your life planned out like everyone else did and how you ended up taking psychology bc you enjoyed watching people and wanted to know more about how humans worked on a psychological level

-Without realising, the two of you fell back into your old rhythm like nothing hadn’t happened in the years you had been apart

-It had turned dark by the time you and Changbin had finished catching up with each other

-Changbin’s eyes widened as he checked his phone, both at the time and the hundreds of notifications he had gotten from all his friends including a concerned Felix (which NEVER happened)

-“Oh my god I really need to go before my friends send out a search party and they think I’m finally dead”

-“It’s fine! I didn’t think we had been talking for so long” you laughed at him, pushing him off the bed and towards the door

-Changbin’s hand was on the handle before he whipped back around so quickly you were worried for a hot second

-“I need your number. I won’t let myself screw this friendship over again” he handed you his phone and you felt your heart get all warm at the sentiment

-You put your number into his phone, with the contact name of “best friend, again” which Changbin smiled at before pulling you into a hug and running out of the door

-You smiled softly at his retreating figure, shutting the door and laying on your bed

-You hadn’t felt this happy in a long while, you finally had your best friend back

-Changbin on the other hand, got back to his apartment full of his 8 friends who all demanded to know where he had been without a single word to any of them for the past 11 hours which was very unlike him

-“Wait,,,, what’s with that look on your face?” hyunjin inquired, leaning forward to study changbin’s face

-“What look?” he asked confusedly

-“You never look this happy unless Felix is hugging you or you finished a particularly diss full track towards your professors or the government hyung” jeongin answered innocently, nestling further into Chan’s arms

-Felix looked particularly smug at this fact, but he too wanted to know what caused his hyung to go AWOL for hours

-“I,,,, met an old friend and we were catching up and lost track of time” Changbin shrugged

-“Hyung…. You never look this happy when meeting old friends? They must be special to you” Felix said, studying Changbin’s face closely and he was surprised to see his ears reddening slightly

-“Um,,,, you could say that we were best friends when we were kids”

-“hmmmmm”

-“……….”

-Suddenly Seungmin’s face cracked into a huge smile, piecing the puzzle together

-“Changbin hyung,,,, is the same best friend that, when drunk last year, told me that you were angry that they left you alone at school when they moved away”

-“………..”

-“The one you had a crush on?”

-“O K A Y PUNK LISTEN HERE-“

-Whatever Changbin was going to say,,, we will never know as Woojin threw a hand over changbin’s mouth before he could cuss out seungmin who was sat there smugly

-Changbin sighed against Woojin’s hand and slumped back

-Woojin released his hand warily, signalling for Changbin to explain

-“Yes this is that friend, their name is Y/N”

-The boys all smiled, knowing that you meant a lot to changbin and had been the subject of many of Changbin’s songs

-ANYWAY

-You and changbin quickly rekindled the flames of your friendship extremely quickly despite college starting, you always managed to find time to meet up

-Heck, you even found yourself joining him in the recording studio some nights helping Changbin with lyrics or just giving him some company

-The boys had taken an immense liking to you and quickly adopted you as the 10th member of their squad

-You were even a priority member of the underground club 3RACHA frequented at, much to the chagrin of the many fangirls who had been on the guestlist since last year

-Perks of being childhood friends with one of the members

-It’s here where you see Changbin in his true element

-You saw all his passion and rawness for the issues he spoke up for present themselves in such a beautiful and hard hitting way

-You couldn’t help but cry at one of the tracks he performed with Jisung about the effect bullying could have on students in school

-Changbin pulled you into a hug after the performance had ended, apologising for making you cry during the gig (the other boys began waggling their eyebrows at him suggestively and he had to physically restrain himself from throwing cusses at them, choosing to glare at them whilst hugging you)

-Over the next few weeks you couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you began to look at Changbin differently than you did

-Sure,,, as a kid you admit you did have a crush on him but then don’t most kids crush on their best friends?

-But this,,, was more than a sweet puppy love

-You began to notice the little things at first, the way his eyes would widen when he had a spark of inspiration, the way his eyebrows would furrow when he tried to study for business and then the bigger things began to form with how he always had an arm slung around your shoulders when you walked across campus or when you had a bad day he would turn up at your dorm with hugs and a carton of strawberry milk

-You fell in love with him naturally, like it was almost fate

-Little did you know, Changbin too felt this way as well

-He noticed everything you did, how you fiddled with your sleeves when you were nervous about something, the way your eyes crinkled as you laughed at a story Felix was telling you or the way you clung to him when you watched a horror film with the boys at Jisung and Jeongin’s dorm

-He began to write songs about you, and decided that this was the only way he could confess confidently

-Every moment he spent with you he wouldn’t exchange it for the world

-Besides, the whole campus seemed to think you were dating anyway

-It was the end of first semester and 3RACHA were holding another gig to celebrate and naturally you had to go hype up your best friend and celebrate your psych essays being over

-Unbeknownst to you, Changbin was going to perform the song he had written for you that night in a hope that you would understand how he felt about you

-As the lights came up, you couldn’t help but be in awe at how beautiful Changbin was in that moment

-As the gig progressed, both Chan and Jisung had performed solo tracks and you knew that Changbin had to be performing one as well

-Just then, a spotlight appeared and your attention was captured immediately as Changbin began to rap about a close friend and how they changed his entire life for the better

-You frowned slightly, trying to figure out who it was

-Felix maybe? He does like Felix a lot

-Towards the end of the song the lyrics seemed familiar and you realised,,, it was the lyrics you had helped with all those weeks ago

-Your eyes widened as they met Changbin’s dark eyes, and moved closer to you table much to the delight of the boys

-As the song reached the end, Changbin was stood in front of you and reached out to cup your face gently

-You leaned into his touch, looking up at him with hooded eyes

-Without much prompt, Changbin leaned down and kissed you gently causing everyone in the room to holler and wolf whistle

-You break apart from him, a grin spreading across your lips and the thought of Changbin’s lips on yours as he goes to finish the rest of the gig

-DATING CHANGBIN:

-After that day, you and changbin became an official item much to the surprise of practically everyone on campus who thought you were dating already ooops

-Dude least we can stop hearing you pine about how perfect Y/N is

-Oh that’s what you think,,,, now I can torture you about how much I freaking love them

-hyUNG NO PLEASE NO

-Dating Changbin was very much just being best friends, with more skinship

-Bc Changbin LOVED skinship

-He always had an arm around your shoulder or holding your hand as you walked anyway and when you were talking to people he always had you in a back hug,,, which made it uncomfortable for the other person at times esp if they didn’t know changbin

-I mean he looked scary and you were completely unfazed that he was hugging you as you were chatting about some psychology case study you were both studying for Prof Kim’s class

-nOT that Changbin was a jealous or possessive boyfriend, as some were inclined to think, he just a RBF and liked to hug you whenever you were together

-You certainly didn’t have a problem with it, leaning into his touch whenever his arms were around you

-Though he did get a little jealous sometimes when people at bars tried to flirt with you even when he was RIGHT THERE and had his arm around your waist

-He was just more frustrated at the fact the other person couldn’t get a hint so 9 times out 10 he ended up pulling you in for a kiss before pulling away to smile smugly at the other person

-They soon got the hint and stopped trying to hit on you

-You just laughed, leaning in him to kiss again before dragging him home before he got jealous again

-You woke up the next day with Changbin tracing his fingers lightly against your hips and thighs, making random patterns whilst softly smiling at you

-This was your favourite way to wake up tbh, like it was so soft and so utterly intimate that you craved his touch even more

-When the two of you turned up late to a meeting with the boys they just shook their heads at changbin’s messy hair and your slightly swollen lips

-Most of your guys day was spent in the recording studio or music practice room as changbin was writing songs or practice for an upcoming performance for his course, you were there with your psychology textbooks feet in his lap if he was sat at the mixing desk or sat on the floor in the practice room

-The two of you spent hours there, working in relative silence just happy to be in each others presence as you prepared for your upcoming projects and stuff

-Sometimes you helped him with his lyrics if he was struggling with wording a certain phrase or he wanted your opinion on a particular beat

-You also helped him revise for business, which you knew he hated but you wanted him to do well so sometimes you had to bribe him

-Changbin for every right answer ill give you a kiss

-roGER THAT

-The helping out was mutual as changbin too assisted you when you needed

-He could often be seen in the library or campus café holding your flashcards and notes, quizzing you about psychology case studies and terminology for your upcoming exams

-Changbin also liked to reward you with kisses every time you got an answer right,,,, though sometimes he was feeling childish and purposely said that you got an answer right when u hadn’t just so he could kiss you more lmao

-Changbin you know you don’t need a reason to kiss me…. You’re literally my boyfriend??

-Yeah but reward kisses are good!!!

-Not when you purposely lie to me so you can get kisses!

-How did you know I was lying?????

-Babe,,, I’m literally a psychology student I KNOW when you lie. And we’ve been friends since middle school so I’ve seen you lie for a good long while. Also,,,, I purposely got this answer wrong to see what you did lmao

-BABE WHAT THE HECK WHY???

-You’re too cute sometimes

-ANYWAY

-You and Changbin are the type of couple to wear couple clothes without realising it

-Like,,,, you would both be wearing oversized black hoodies and black beanies when you go for bbq with the boys one day and Felix was like,,,,, u planned this and ur both like ???? planned what????

-Speaking of hoodies,,, and clothes in general

-Changbin leaves his stuff at yours a lot in the hopes that you wear it one day,,, esp his shirts and hoodies bc he is that kind of boy that loves this kind of stuff then gets all blushy when you do

-Like when you turned up to a date one day wearing his favourite hoodie he MELTED at how cute you looked

-For your 6th month anniversary,,, you decided to get official couple stuff but like,,,, u didn’t want a ring

-You settled on getting a couple earring,,, which was adorable and Felix literally screamed when he saw you both wearing it one day

-Also,,,, at first you didn’t know that Changbin liked to draw until you find his sketches on the desk in his room where he hastily put them last night after drawing club

-You were looking through them when he turned up with a bag of takeout and he began to blush

-BABE these are really good!?!”$”

-They’re really not though!!

-Yes they are wow what can’t you do

-Business studies

-Oh you’re right there

-He told you that night that he wanted to be a tattoo artist if the music career didn’t work out and you clapped your hands in glee

-I mean you always wanted a tattoo so what better way than get your boyfriend to design one for you

-He protested this at first, claiming he wasn’t a great artist that warranted you to have something of him tattooed permanently to your body

-You, however, managed to convince him to design something small that you BOTH could get

-Screw couple rings, you guys went straight for the couple tattoo ;)

-Safe to say when the boys found out they all screamed, Felix sobbed in the corner whilst woochan hugged each other claiming that their kids grow up so fast

-When you finally got them done you couldn’t help but run your fingers over it every day,,, and your fingers always found themselves finding Changbin’s and running your fingers over it softly

-Ugh it was so soft and Hyunjin’s eyes rolled whenever he saw the two of you laying on the sofa hands running over each others tattoos and kissing each other softly

-Baso,,, u and changbin were just best friends who fell in love

-Slowly,, then all at once

-And you wouldn’t change it for the world

again,,, thank you for giving this series so much love it means the world to us!!!

[8eht]

q - u? :)

 q: how do you feel about collaborations?

i don’t have too much of an opinion on it, to be completely honest. im pretty particular about what i like reading though, so if their writing styles differ too much i won’t be able to enjoy it really.

with that being said, i give lots of props to those who actually collab w others bc im so picky abt my writing and have extremely specific ideas and if details aren’t described exactly how i imagined it in my head it causes me so much anxiety and distaste for it and askfhaskjfhasfkja. so it must really be difficult and i rly respect those are able to achieve that type of teamwork i could never tbh

r: are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

the first writer that comes to mind is tahereh mafi. i know her style is def not for everyone and neither is mine so sajkfhaskjf. feelinggenious on wattpad actually wrote a post about why they don’t like her style and expressed the reason being is that its “written in a chaotic, hallucinating-ish, journal style that’s oozing and overflowing of metaphors” and that ppl may find its a “lump of metaphors and horrid imagery” n binch thats exactly why i aspire to be on her level someday asfjhsfjhasfk. but i love it so much tho!! and thats exactly how i would want mine to be described as tbh

another person that stands out is tabitha suzuma. i’ve only read one book by her, but i remember ppl on goodreads reviewing it and saying its like 418 pages of poetry. she brings out so so so much emotion and all of her characters (even the younger children) are so three dimensional and they honestly felt like real people to me. the story is so so traumatic and hard to read, but i, at least, went thru so so so many strong emotions and sadness and happiness throughout the entire book. not many writers can do that to me and i admire her so so so so much. she took an extremely taboo subject and made it so you actually feel for the characters involved. i wont mention the book due to reasons but if anyone is interested u can message me or w/e!! 

and lastly, i mention her literally every moment of my life and she really is my biggest muse ??? i guess but its nicole dollanganger. she a songwriter which is technically a writer so i think she counts. not many ppl have heard of her bc she basically just came from bandcamp. but she’s been described as being like lana del rey but with way scarier and more horrific lyrics. i listen to a lot of her songs when i write to keep me going tbh. but i wouldnt rec her music to anyone who can be triggered by v*ol*nce and etc!! so keep that in mind

ask me more fanfic q’s!!!

s: any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

i love angsty bffs who are secretly in love with each other but are too much of stubborn and frightened buttholes they never say anything. so they always fight and get jealous and wow … im so weak for this d*mb shit. hmmm also practice kissing tropes and hurt/comfort and ajkdhaskfjasf. im boring ok i know this dont tell me

t: any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

ok so theres not many that i CANT stand, but theres a lot i literally have no interest in. i rly am against anything obviously problematic or gross. so theres that. but in terms of just popular tropes that im not into ??? anything paranormal (which is hilarious bc i love anything else paranormal n that includes books but for some reason in fanfics i just ??? cant do it.) however there have been a few that i love so i wouldnt disregard a fic completely jsut bc it has supernatual elements. i wouldnt disregard a dystopian fic tho maybe. idk wuts wrong with my brain and why it chooses some things and not others aksjfhasfkasf. but anything thats not everyday boring basic ass shit i usually cant get into it rip

so yeah. theres actually way more bc im so so so so picky af to the point where its disgusting brtywgasfjk

u: share three of your favorite fics writers and why you like them so much.

IM CHEATING !!! ok so instead of writers im gonna go w three of my fave fics bc thats easier for me.

1. letters (things unspoken) was the first fic i ever read that i really, really loved. its super heavy and so so sad so be warned if u wanna check it out. listen i didnt just tear up reading this ok. i straight up sobbed like a lil annoying binch and it really really broke my heart and wow. it involves d**th so. and its monsta x fyi

2. when i get weary of the sky is unbelievable. i havent read it in such a long time so i even forget a lot of it but i remember it being so incredible and well-written and asofhasufohas. im not gonna try to get into my reasoning bc as i said its been quite some time since ive read it and i dont want to give it an improper description. but anyway its abt pentagon!

3. desperate inhales;; relaxed exhales is shortish but its so good omg. im surprised it wasnt written by me tbh bc the author has a similar writing style as i do imo. its everything i could ask for in a fic i think. and wow its actually a svt centered fic amazing. which is wild bc 98% of the fics i read are seventeen related but yet 2/3 of the ones i mentioned are writers for different groups oops

idk why but i feel embarrassed if any of these writer have a tumblr and follow me but prob not and idek why i care but im such a shy awkward bean afhjksjkaf

[leeeovitate]

April 22,2020 3:23AM: It was not intended but this ended up becoming my high school memoir.

I sifted through my old journals. I have been obsessed with notebooks and pens back then, maybe a little bit until now. You see I wanted to be an artist. At least 5 of them were filled with songs and rubbish from cover to cover.I remember the first song I wrote way back in 2007 or 2008. It was called “Putting Traces” and the first I ever played was for my grandmother on her birthday. I played a video of it I recorded with my sister at her dinner party. I don’t think she appreciated it or maybe it just wasn’t any good but she was polite about it. It was called “Thank you for everything”. My first songs notebook was a tinee tiny one with the Eiffel Tower in black on the cover and silver on every page. Then I got obsessed with buying every journal that looks cute or has music related designs or the ones with London and Paris or other European countries that I would love to visit. Then I bought every pen to my liking and spent my lunch money on paperbacks. I was basically a resident at National Bookstore or the stationery section of every mall. I scanned them all tonight, those journals. I forgot about some songs but when I read the line it comes like a flashback to me. That is why I kept writing. It immortalizes the moment. When I play that song, I feel like the emotions turn into concrete and I could go back when I want to feel it again. I was so sure of myself in the songs I wrote before. I knew what I wanted and that was to make music. Maybe I had that dream of being magically sent a record deal. I wanted to have a world tour before 18 but the world was never in my favor. I remember setting a deadline and counting down like Lena did on Beautiful Chaos. I think I also set it on 100 days but nothing happened.

High school is the best years of my life. I remember one of my friends borrowing my songs journal and told me all my titles sounded nice. I have one friend who writes fiction, legit ones and we would talk after class until our fetch arrives and then we’d talk more on the telephone when we get home. I don’t have that in medschool. One time, our teacher made us do a school project. It was to write to a novel incorporating our topics on math class. Epic, I know. I planned it out alright, written everything with a plot but I never finished it and ended up rushing for the deadline. I won’t ever forget that. I loved doing it so much. My fiction writer friend, she ended up writing a sequel for the story she submitted as a math project. Then I also read some of the stories my classmates made. I felt surrounded by talented people and it felt really good. Then in English class, junior year we were required to have a green journal and have at least 3 entries per week. It could be a diary entry, poem, essay, sketch, whatever you like. We also had drama class. I remember saying the lines “The cat sat on the mat.... etc” with different emotions. I freaking nailed it. I loved it so much. The we were also asked to advertise a specific product we made up by pairs. Ours was a perfume and I played a fairy. The nicknamed me “Mama Fairy Tree Rapunzel Country Girl”. I had really long hair and used to braid it. Then I played guitar singing country songs. We also assigned ourselves to greek mythology characters, mine was Gaea. I was also quite tall back then and they say my limbs were long so I was like a tree with roots to the earth and that is where they all came from. We had to write a play for our final project. I was “musical director” and I was not good at my job but I freaking enjoyed it so much.

The senior year we had lit classics and we just have the best teacher on mythology and poetry. Wont ever forget him reprimanding me for reading “statue” wrong. Freshman year, we have 2-hour PE classes and the last hour was spent however we wanted. We would play and sometimes we would just sit around our teacher’s cassette player singing along to our favorite songs while the wind is blowing at the topmost floor of our high school building. Oh what I would do to go back. There was a time when I chose a ribbon as prop for gymnastics practical exam and danced to Avril Lavigne’s “Freak Out Let It Go”. I hated individual stage work but it was something we all had to do and my high school crowd were not mean. I used to choreograph dance routines, unbelievable if you see me now but yes, I remember when I did that. I would do it all over again. I have that one friend, the least I expected of all, who got into kpop. It was epic.

When we are feeling lost, our CLE teacher taugh us to open the bible at a random page and read those two sheets spread open. Whatever we have bothering us, God’s answer are within those pages and it is up to us how to interpret it. I think it also became a project like we were meant to do it everyday for a month or something. She collected money for a journal but it was never delivered though. I have no idea what happened. We also made a promise to meet in March 2020 or 2021 as a class but I think everyone forgot about it or are just too busy, these days. In high school, we made so many films too. Man it was great. You probably could already tell how much I enjoy acting and the I have this friend who is a really awesome video editor.

We also had the best advance chemistry and advance physics teachers. One time at the physics lab, I was busy reading my some Paulo Coehlo I did not notice that I got called in class. That was epic. My teacher threatened to confiscate my book, thank God she didnt. My only argument was “This is not a pocket book, Ms. Violeta.” Our statistics teacher, freshman year who entered the congregation of nuns kept saying “K” in class. It was really funny, my friend and I tallied the number of times she said it until we ran out of scratch paper. Would you believe that the highest grade I got in high school was in Geometry and the lowest I got was in Calculus? Lol I turned in an unfinished Calculus final exam because my tummy was upset but my teacher won’t accept it. I could not tell him what I was feeling at the time so I shaded the letter C in every item and I kind of flunked the exam. I was not that frustrated though. I was never the grade conscious type.

There is this cafe we frequented back then, It was called “Book Latte” and we got membership cards so we could rent books and chill in secluded spots. The place was really fancy but not that wide. Pizza Hut on the same mall became “our spot” with someone I used to consider one of my best friends. One of our friend’s became our go to for schoolworks and shooting videos or movie marathon. In math class again we had to do a song adaptation with video. We did a remix but Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade will always remind me of that. It goes “because tonight will be the night that I will study math over again don’t make me change my mind”. There was a competition in relation to Buwan ng Wika or our Foundation day every august. For the first 2 years of high school it was song adaptation and for the juniors and seniors it was song composition. For the first year, we did Awit Ng Kabataan by Rivermaya and my author/video editor friend wrote the lyrics. I think we skipped on sophomore year. I was not yet comfortable with exposing my songwriting in general at the time. I struggle with confidence issues until now. They assigned me for our junior year. I did it on guitar and piano. I had piano lessons when I was 9 but I did not appreciate it until years after. Our Environmental Science teacher who used to be in a band helped us out abit and they were rushing with the deadline for the song, I kind of backed off. My clubmate did it instead. Senior year, Had the song done early and we got first place. I was truly grateful.

I joined Guitaristas club freshman year. We were assigned into tutor-tutee. I was a tutee of course. I was assigned to someone who was like the great guitar player who was in a band and I was crushing on. He was so nice and he taught me guitar. I wonder if he still remembers me though. I don’t think he’ll recognize when we see eachother on the street. The the club changed it’s name to Tokata club and I spent two years there. We once played Back to December as a band on family day. The guy on drums is someone I was crushing on. I nicknamed him Orange because he told us about Battaglia delle Aranche, not sure if I remember that correctly. The past years I hated waking up early. Most often I’m late for class that they made me class monitor for like 2 years or so. I hated staying at home and I would wake up early. Some days I get to school at about sunrise and he would be there too. That was how we became really good friends and I became close to his younger brother too. My senior year, Speakers zone. It was a new club and it was accidentally not included in our new club ballot sheets. I think they accidentally printed out the old ones from last year. Our english teacher told us about it and only like 7 or 8 of us joined. All from our class. Every monday morning, we had to do a news report after flag ceremony. We were assigned sports new, weather, current affairs, celebrity, etc. It scared the shit out of me, stage fright and shit. I wanted to get over that so I forced myself to audition for our Literary Musical contest, newscasting category and got picked but I lost. I talk really fast and my nerves get the best of me. I was so scared, I wanted to chicken out minutes before the contest. I wanted to walk away from the stage instead of towards it.

We also had monthly trips and my favorite was doing grocery shopping the afternoon before with my groupmates. We assigned to prepare meals and took turns to cook. We went to islands, camps and other educational sites. It was so fun. Although I could not bloody swim and some days I feel sad because of being away from home. I missed 2 trips and forever hating my parents for it. I know they were just concerned but I missed out on alot. It was heartbreaking. I think it was because on our first trip, we climbed a mountain and stayed at a beach and I asked my parents to come over because my chest was aching but turns out I just needed rest. I don’t think I went home with them though or maybe I did, I kind of forgot. I stayed and missed the team building activities but I got to watch the games. Second trip, I missed. They talked about ghost soldiers and stuff. Third trip, we had to swim from one island to another which I couldn’t so I used a canoe, sort of. My mom accompanied us that time, she helped out with cooking and some other things. We stayed for 2 nights and one of my friend’s mom visited us too. Fourth trip, I think it’s that another one I missed. One time, we thought we discovered dinosaur remains, yeah our imagination were that wild. Some of us went fishing and the rest of us stayed at the Marine Biology site. We played ins and one of us tripped on a huge rock which was shaped like a dinosaur’s head. Then we started digging and then we talked about the islands around us making up stories about it. That night, we all slept at the rooftop and had a shadow show. Then we saw shooting stars. One unforgettable experience I had was getting lost in the mountains and getting help from NPAs because they freaking had rifles. It was raining and should have be frightening but at the time, it was more fun than scary and they brought us safe and sound to our campsite. I had a nightmare that night but I loved literally sleeping beneath the stars. I forgot how many trip we went to in total but I am thankful for each and every single one of them

It is funny how I went from a kid with all the big dreams to who I am today.

[victor-v]

so yesterday i finished all for the game for the second time in my life (weird thing i've never read a book or series twice) and it wrecked me for the second time. it was unexpectedly nice that i actually understood everything with so much clarity, but that makes sense i've got lot of practice in reading english since then. also, i wrote my thoughts on the book this time.

i can't understand how a book can have such an impact on me, i hate that and i love it, everything else that crossed my mind is under the cut

★huh andrew really bullied aaron into dressing identical to mess up with neil

★"i don't swing either way" is the phrase that made me feel more valid that the whole queer community ever

★neil is pure nihilism

★how can i EVER forget neil wore a tight long sleeved TORN tshirt that andrew bought this is way too much

★seth is dead and all kevin can think about is the line up tbh i do that often

★they are making a scandal about how they sit

★kevin telling neil "destroy him" filled me with power

★the most unreal part is neil ALWAYS keeping his roots another colour the guy must dye his hair every fucking week

★how did neil buy andrew's promise to protect him from the japanese mafia's professional murderers when the only people he physically bullies is an obsessive young adult with anxiety, a princess in high heels and his sunshine sister in law

★wait a fucking minute andrew saw neil filled with terror while holding the phone and immediately gave him the car keys so he could be alone fuck

★nicky fucking hemmick attended to improv class

★ according to dan few athletes were crude enough to start trouble at an ERC event, you mean as crude as neil?

★how to take care of your teammate while he's in a crisis according to: andrew→show concern and reassure him. wymack→10 seconds of vodka

★"hey, jean. jean valjean" is peak comedy

★the ravens walking in v formation is genuinely the most cringy thing you can think of

★neil first finds out the only possible person to date him is andrew because he was jealous of renee are you kidding me

★andrew only missed 13 from 150 shots on goal for fucking real what a Man

★renee is an angel, she's specifically andrew's angel

★neil truly is a watcher

★bee wearing a bee costume is the only good thing on this world

★dan and matt dressed like greek gods!!!!! they can adopt me already

★can you believe nicky is the one who got into neil's brain and planted the idea of realying on someone, and since then neil actively pursues an investigation on andrew's relationship status how on god's name i missed that HOW he's not even subtle about it damn

★he first worries about renee now about kevin goddamn it josten how can't you se how much you care about him

★it's funny how sexuality is such a heavy topic between them when they sure as fuck have some pretty huge stuff going on you know like dying in the hands of the mafia or being tortured

★i imagine andrew running to renee all bonkers like "listen if the cute guy asks, for fucks sake tell him i'm gay but make it ~casual~ maybe this way he'll get it"

★the sole mention of thanksgiving dinner makes me want to die

★kevin is checking the scores in a newspaper I forget this book is so 00's

★they should have spent the day eating turkey and frozen pie at abby's fuckkkkkkkk

★are you kidding me they are in the middle of a conversation and andrew casually chokes neil a little but it's ok they carry on wtf

★"we are all going to regret this" is the fucking worse piece of foreshadowing in this book

★neil interrogating andrew the same night he was raped what kind of fucking piece of shit does that

★i can't fucking believe neil went ahead and shoved andrew's hand under his tshirt in front of kevin, wymack, betsy and two fucking lawyers are you kidding me

★neil asking "are we? friends?" to nicky is so relatable because i also would have an aneurysm if someone told me i am their friend

★someone else tries to flirt with him and he immediately considers andrew how i was too ace to see it the first time i read

★jesus fucking christ riko is one truly fucked up sociopath and neil is the bravest motherfucker on the land

★how can he face riko like that in the nest and be extremely pure in other occasion

★"are we watching the ball drop? i want to make a wish" he wants to make a wish and i want to die thanks

★i can't believe the whole if it means losing you then no and side effect of the drugs shit it's unreal fucking unreal how oblivious neil is too ace to realize anything SOMEONE JUST CALLED YOU "DREAM" THE LEVEL OF ROMANTICISM

★the amount of heavy staring in this trilogy is ridiculous and all i can think about is twilight

★these books made me see how far from the 00s we are, for many reasons, but mostly for some jokes that can't let slide; like calling neil a battered wife, domestic misogynistic violence is not a joke

★i can't believe from all people, wymack was the first one to get andrew was into neil

★"that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" is such a funny phrase to be said casually why is it

★"you are a racoon, not a fox" oh andrew

★it only took andrew admitting he had a crush for neil to be all sentimental and shit, and that disarmed andrew too

★they are like some kind of animal that while you think they are fighting, they are actually mating, that's exactly what nora meant with feral

★half of last book is neil mooning over andrew jfc

★nicky made neil smile while distracting him from riko im gonna throw myself off a cliff

★i can't quite believe neil goes through a detailed monologue about andrews memory the man is impressed and borderline turned on about every talent on his crushe's shelf

★i literally can't follow and will never understand the quarrel/promise/agreement between aaron and andrew what a bunch of pretentious idiots

★every time neil's phone buzzes all i fear is the fucking countdown

★i thought "i want to see you lose control" was a collective fever dream i can't believe it's written on the books

★if i was nicky i already have told andrew to stop his freaky pretentious shit towards me

★neil to the upperclassman: ha ha fellas is it gay to unthinkingly call andrew in the middle of a anxiety breakdown

★"you gave me a key and called it home" is as soft as heartbreaking i want to jump off a cliff

★"i won't be like them, i wont let you let me be" is actually pushing me off that cliff andrews feelings are a fucking storm

★neil was kidnapped and tortured the day of my bday and that's not a coincidence

★neil's talent to twist the truth in order to convince andrew of anything is outstanding

★excuse me they have no right to be this soft i hate them

★they miss so many opportunities to be funny about the whole "protection" thing

★did he really had a mental breakdown over where to fucking sit on the bus lmao

★"don't come crying to me when someone breaks your face" is the second most awful piece of foreshadowing

★lets be honest for a second andrew should be a fucking writer because all those things he says? edgy myspace pretentious poetry

★im sorry but i don't care about literally anything except neil smiling onto andrew's neck bye

★andrew ghosted a kiss across neil's hip im dead for real

★abby kissed neil's forehead farewell after cleaning all his injuries i have no words he's recieving all the affection he deserves

★cant believe you don't see aaron is fucking worried neil is taking advantage of andrew

★i mean yeah ok don't talk love but neil is sad that nicky thinks it was only hate sex, and he immediately acknowledged it meant more than that to him bc his demi btw wtf does hate sex mean i can't believe you hate someone so much you wanna suck his dick

★they all went horseback riding when will i have a group of friends like that

★"who's humanising who in that relationship" i know right nicky

★kevin locking himself to have a panic attack is the most relatable thing

★the car encounter with ichirou holds the same tension as a mr robot scene

★the proposal of playing olympics and being unstoppable feels like marriage or smth

★neil is literally having his hot girl summer

★i adore neil's overflow of emotions after swallowing everything for so many years. represented, thanks.

★andrew terrorising katelyn who the fuck does he think he is what an annoying asshole

★"did you know i've never been skiing" is the most epic line

★i cheer to the sole mention of laila

★alvares can deck me right now and i would say thank you

★"war is profitable" aaron knows what's up

★sometimes i want to slap them is2g

★that scene at eden's where they are all discussing how roland found out and aaron ends up being the only straight one lmao boy it's your punishment for being so homophobic

★the whole "deadliest piece on the board" spech is 100 times better when you consider kevin was wasted and overly exaggerating every word and gesture

★can you imagine those few fans supporting kevin's new tattoo screaming YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEEEEEN while snapping fingers i'm cackling

★matt in court body slamming into anyone that's been a problem to the foxes: VIBE CHECK MOTHERFUCKER

★neil kissed andrew in castle fucking evermore the audacity i adore him

[dontaskme-imnotcreative]

1AM Rambling

When I write poetry it’s usually freestyle, With an ABAC rhyme scheme most of the time, And shorter lines too, I think they have more impact... But with this one, I think I’ll try just stanzas and let the words flow from mind to paper.

Not real paper of course, it is just an expression, You ever realize how strange our language is? That if we didn’t understand context clues, Both visual and grammatical we’d be lost.

Or how pauses in certain places can make a huge difference, Life and death for fictional characters, I could tell you to kill me, that I want to die. But without the sarcastic tone of voice, you might think to try.

See how I rhymed there? I think that has meaning too, Because it helps a reader have natural rhythm and flow, It’s like an adhesive for the lines; contextual super glue. Context again. It’s very important to use.

Because if someone heard you say, “So I stabbed her seven times... And totally got away.” People may get upset or scared.

Even though to you, what you said was trivial. Because it wasn’t an admission of guilt, But something in a video game, completely immaterial. Yet I’m sure the police won’t find jest in the blood you hadn’t spilt.

I’m writing this at forty-one passed midnight, And didn’t (don’t) know where I’m going with this. I guess sometimes I like to put words down and see where it leads. Sometimes it’s good, meaningful, worthy of praise.

Other times, not so much. Maybe not even close. I noticed this when I went into the past. Re-read some old poems from years ago. And cannot believe how I thought they were readable.

Some are just cringe-worthy and maybe that’s just me. I mean, an author and poet who has sufficiently grown, Will likely view old pieces with wont to disown. However I keep them in place for Calliope.

Because what is a blog if not a history of you? Memories ultimately fade without proof. “I remember this poem I once wrote.” Becomes the norm instead of clicking an app to see it’s completed form.

I put a lot of thought and care into all the words I write. Even if it’s just me rambling on like tonight. It’s hard for me to be okay with deletion. Because it makes my past really uneven.

Good or bad, my past is experience And every poem or story I wrote made me a better artist. And no regrets about anything, Made me a better human.

What is it they say? My past is prologue. It’s a cute saying, but doesn’t quite cover everything. Because the past isn’t just the prologue to a greater story.

The past is experiences that define a life. At least up until the past becomes present. Because presence in the present is more important, Than looking back and wondering what could have been different.

Be retrospective. Learn from the past. Strive for a more refined perspective. Because life is short. It goes by fast. And it’s awfully sad to be clueless and ineffective.

[rickyticky-bobbywobbin]

100 Questions tag thing.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed. my closet is not used for clean clothing. 

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? if my mom tells me to 

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? tucked in but sometimes my sister sleeps on my bed and somehow undoes everything

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? yeah

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? i like using them when i have them

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? yeah they are usualy for fast food joints but im just too broke to buy fod lol

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? uhmmm... im assuming i wont die so ill say bear because thats much more bad ass

8. Do you have freckles? I do!

9. Do you always smile for pictures? depends who is taking the picture 

10. What’s your biggest pet peeve? when im in the car and i get no say in the music. sorry but like... i want a say i dont wanna listen to some sad rock. 

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?  yeah lol

12. Have you peed in the woods? no

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? no

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? uhm if im alone yeah 

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? nope

16. How many people have you slept with this week? 1

17. What size is your bed? twin

18. What is your song of the week? Julia - Charly Bliss

19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? YES

20. Do you still watch cartoons? yeah, i have a three year old sister 

21. What is your least favorite movie? uhm....that ive seen , probably the hunger games, just not my thing

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? in a cemetery w a fake tomb stone ontop

23. What do you drink with dinner? water or if im at a restaurant i get Shirley temples

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? sweet and sour sauce or ketchup

25. What is your favorite food? sushi and poke bowls

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? Rocky Horror Picture Show and Scott Pilgrim VS the World

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? i smooched my dad on the cheek before going to bed last night but on the lips was my bf

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? nah

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? depends on how much im getting paid and if i look good lol

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I wrote my dad a fathers day card but a letter that i shipped in the mail was like... sophomore year or something to my at the time boyfriend.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? HA no

32. Even gotten a speeding ticket? cant drive yet

33. Even ran out of gas? when i was in the car with my dad

34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? a hoagie. its like roast beef, turkey, and chicken w lettuce tomato and red onions w mayo and mustard. its so good

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? depends on the mood. i like grits and eggs or sometimes i want like blueberry pancakes

36. What is your usual bedtime? 3-4 am

37. Are you lazy? yep

38. When you were a kid, what did you dressed up as for Halloween? Lots of things, i was a hobo, a bat, a cat, snow white, a pirate, a witch, a puppet, and a whole bunch of other shit

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Tiger

40. How many languages can you speak? English and a little chinese

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? no 

42. Which are better: LEGOS or Lincoln Logs? uhm i played with lincoln logs more but i like legos more, theres more things to make

43. Are you stubborn? yeah 

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? i dont really care about talk shows

45. Ever watch soap operas? my mom watched one but idk what it is

46. Are you afraid of heights? im more afraid of falling to my death

47. Do you sing in the car? YES

48. Do you sing in the shower? YEP

49. Do you dance in the car? you can dance in a car?

50. Ever used a gun? nah

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? idk my mom is a photographer so probably last year for fathers day

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? eh they can be lol

53. Is Christmas stressful? yeah bc my family that lives close hates us and we HAVE TO GO and it sucks

54. Ever eat pierogi? what is that

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i love it all 

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? a florist, astronaut, vet, aaand president  

57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes 

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? alot lol

59. Do you take vitamin daily? No, theyre expensive 

60. Do you wear slippers? no

61. Do you wear a bath robe? nope

62. What do you wear to be comfortable? Leggings and hoodies or teeshirts

63. What was your first concert? idk lol i went on tour with my dad when i was like itty bitty so my first concert was prob one of his, but the first one i remember was when i went to go see good Charlotte and sum 41 

64. Walmart, Target or KMART? i like target 

65. Nike or Adidas? i havent worn either so idk 

66. Cheetos or Fritos? BBQ FRITOS or crunchy cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower Seeds? Ui like sunflower seeds

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no?

69. Ever take dance lessons? i took three weeks of ballet when i was a baby 

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? uh idk lol

71. Can you curl your tongue? i can double curl it :^).

72. Ever won a spelling bee? i cant spell for shit

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah lol i cry a lot

74. Own any record albums? i have a million bc of my dads record collection but i have a few of my own

75. Own a record player? my dad does

76. Do you regularly burn incense? no my parents are stoners so they light them lol

77. Even been in love? Yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert? panic at the disco, bruno mars, and Charly Biss

79. What was the last concert you saw? I saw the regretts at the echo.

80. Hot Tea or Cold Tea? hot when im sick and cold when im not

81. Tea or Coffee? tea

82. Sugar Cookies or Snickerdoodles?BOTH

83. Can you swim well? eh im okay

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes

85. Are you patient? usualy

86. DJ or Band at a Wedding? uhm probably a band idk

87. Ever won a contest? yeah a few art contests and one poetry contest

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? no... i wanna get my nose fixed...

89. Which are better: Black or Green Olives? BLAFT i dont like either

90. Can you knit or crochet? uhm i cross stitch

91. Best room for a fireplace? the bathroom duh, lol ive had fireplaces we just dont use them ever so i dont really care

92. Do you want to get married? yeah one day, i never really wanted to a while a go but i kinda want to now.

93. If married, how long have you been married? not married yet 

94. Who was your high school crush? uh.. i dated a few people in highschool so mu crushes changed all the time

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No lol

96. Do you have kids? no but i am always babysitting my 3 year old sister so its like i have a kid lol

97. Do you want kids? maybe

98. What is your favorite color? uh dark purple and black 

99. Do you miss anyone right now? yeah...

100. Who are you going to tag to do this tag next? no one lol. do it if you want