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HOW IS MY BROTHER 27 AND DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO HIS OWN WASH JESUS CHRIST
#i knew my parents coddled him...i didnt realize how bad it was#so i just went to do my wash right bc i got nothing to wear tomorrow#and i felt that the bag was way heavier than it should be given how much i wore#so as im putting stuff in the washer im noticing that some of my brothers stuff is mixed in#im like 'ok lemme be nice and do some of his' and so i did....then i kept pulling up his stuff#now his problem is he likes to bunch up his WET dirty clothes into a fuckin COMPACT ball and puts it in the wash....#now if he was doing his wash itd be fine but at this point 1. his dirty wet clothes are fuckin SOUR after sitting for a WEEK#and 2 it was mixed in w mine#im not gonna give detail but his shit is....gross so i got a seperate bag and put all his stuff in there for him to do#i tell him 'hey after work can u do ur wash i put it in the bag for u'#HE GOES. 'I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT'......WHAT????#i feel bad i went psycho on him but like....dude ur nearing 30 are u not embarrassed????#the thign is either i dont think hes like...purposely acting dumb i genuinely dont remember a time where hes done his own wash
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warnings: threesome, foursome, daddy kink, master kink, probably every standard sexual act you can think of (i honestly cant even remember what was and wasnt included and we love that), choking, petnames, sir kink, biting, some public stuff, rough smut, rlly rough smut lmao, degradation, i think thats it? but if i missed something im very sorry my brain is kind of a mushy submissive mess after reading this
omg i loved this shgdhdjdhdgh even as someone who doesnt love daddy/master and stuff as much as other people i very much enjoyed this thank you for submitting it omg
ok that was all lisa talking, here’s the actual dom!yoongi, dom!taehyung, dom!jungkook, sub!reader submission from @kpop-4-ever:
Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung. You banged your head in your hands frustratedly. At one point, you missed and banged your head on the desk. The teacher stopped speaking and everyone looked at you. “I’m okay…” She shrugged and went back to writing impossible math problems on the board. All but one of the students directed their attention back to the board. You sighed and winced when you got hit by a note. You opened it and smiled. Your dorm @4 and your bed is mine. Quickly, you threw a glance at your mint-haired friend who smirked at you. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him. Luckily, you had homework so you wouldn’t fight over the bed.
Four rolled around quickly and you left your door unlocked. It wasn’t like your friend was going to knock anyways. “I’M HERE AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND.” “IN HERE.” You watched as he entered the room. “Hey, Yoongs!” He muttered a ‘hey’ and jumped on your bed. “My homework gives me more reaction than you.” “I’m here, too.” A small voice came from the doorway. “Chimmy!” Jimin was your childhood crush, but as all good things get older, they fade. That’s exactly what happened. Now you have a crush on the campus hot boy alien, Kim Taehyung. He was untouchable. Unreachable. He’s been on your mind since he gave you his umbrella and stood in the rain.
“Yoongles?” “Why do you hate me?” He sighed and groaned. “Cause I do. Now, did you pay attention in class?” You heard a slight chuckle. “I was zoned out but I know one thing. You were thinking of Taehyung.” He sneered. The closest soft thing was a plushie, so you decided to throw it at Yoongi. Jimin perked up. “I wanna talk about Tae.” “I don’t.” He forcefully turned your seat around and made you look at him. “We are talking about Taehyung.” “You looked like shit in class.” Of course, Yoongi noticed. No matter how much concealer you put on, he could tell. “I didn’t get good sleep last night.” “I can tell. These sheets smell clean, which means you washed them this morning.” True. You did. You hate washing your sheets so you do it once a month unless you have a reason to do it sooner.
"Okay, so I had a dream…” That was the truth… just not the full truth. “What kind of dream?” Yoongi smirked. “Obviously one about Taehyung, Jimin.” Sighing and blushing, you hid your head in your hands. “Ooh, was he choking you? Did he chain you up? Did he blindfold you? Did he make you call him daddy?” No. No. No. You absolutely did not want that image in your head right now, especially not in front of your friends. You bit back a moan and shuddered instead. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “He’s got you whipped.” Jimin giggled, playfully teasing you. You groaned. “Shut up, please!” Jimin looked taken aback. “Man, you need to get fucked and fast. You’re a bitch.” “I don’t need your criticism, Jimin. Or your advice.” At this point, the homework was forgotten until you turned around. Your phone buzzed violently.
ᗰᗩᗰᗩ ᒍIᑎ
Did you hear the news?
Did you?
Did you?
Answer me!
I cannot believe you don’t love your brother
What news?
Taehyung’s heading towards your house
What!?
I think it was something like he’s moving in next to you.
WHAT!?
*out of text*
“SERIOUSLY, HE DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THAT TAEHYUNG IS MOVING IN NEXT DOOR?” “Ooh, the tea is piping hot!” “Shut up, Jimin.” You groaned as someone knocked on the door. “Must be, Jinyoung.” The dorms were co-ed which was stupid, but you guess that the administration didn’t care if you got an STD, or worse, pregnant. Jinyoung hadn’t been home in weeks and you noticed his door was closed the entire time, but he was a private person so nothing was thought of it. You stood up and readjusted your shorts from riding up any farther. Thinking he could hear you, you started complaining to the door. “Jinyoung, you know that the key opens the door. Don’t tell me you lost it otherwise-“ You finally paid attention to who was at the door. Kim Taehyung. Jungkook was standing behind him with the second half of Taehyung’s stuff. “Hi! Are you going to let me in to my dorm, roomie?”
Subconsciously, you moved but you were still surprised. You didn’t think he’d be moving in with you. Where was he going to sleep? “Sit your stuff in the living room for now, please.” Slowly comprehending, you opened Jinyoung’s room to see it empty with a letter on the bed explaining that he was moving back home. That bitch left me, you thought. “In here.” Taehyung moved his stuff to the room and noticed the letter. “Jinyoung didn’t tell you did he?” Your head snapped to him confused. “Jinyoung recommended that I move in here. Said you were chill.” “You get settled in and I’m going back to my room.” He nodded and as soon as you shut your door you screamed. “FUCK!” Yoongi was sitting up, smirking at you and Jimin was giggling. “I think I’m going to leave…” “No you don’t.” You shoved Yoongi back on the bed and threw yourself in your chair.
A knock sounded on your bedroom door and Jimin opened it before you could react. Taehyung and Jungkook stood at the door. “YOU GOT AN XBOX ONE, PLAYSTATION, WII, AND TWO COMPUTERS FOR GAMING!” You giggled at Jungkook’s reaction. Typically, after school, you would come in here and play against people or just play for fun. “Is Jungkookie excited by my new roommate’s gaming system?” He nodded. “If you want, we can play sometime, Jungkook.” You could see him glowing with excitement. “I can come back if you want to be alone.” Taehyung eyed Jimin and Yoongi cautiously. His tone told you that he was thinking you were going to do something with Jimin and Yoongi. “It’s okay, they’re just friends.” “I’m not just your friend…” Jimin is not helping. “I’m your childhood best friend too!” “Go order takeout and make yourself useful.”
He stuck his tongue out at you before going to the living room to order. “What do you need?” “I was wondering if you’d help me do laundry?” Yoongi chuckled and gave you a look. That ‘this is the guy you want to fuck you’ look. “You don’t know how to do laundry?” He sheepishly grinned. “I mean, I do, but I don’t want to break another washer because it was different.” Jungkook chimed in much to the despair of his best friend. “Oh yeah! You broke the knob off and then fried the wiring.” Yoongi chuckled at you. Through gritted teeth, Taehyung spoke. “Yes, I was referring to that one.” Thankfully, Jimin came back into the room which saved Taehyung from complete embarrassment. Whatever, you thought. “Let’s go, it’s downstairs.” He nodded and grabbed his laundry. The two of you walked side by side in silence until you got to the laundry room. He watched closely as you showed him how to use the washer, eyes analyzing your every move.
———————————————————
On more than one occasion, you went with Taehyung to do his laundry, only staying in when you needed to study. This time was no different. The two of you had grown close, even going as far as you kissing him when you were flat out drunk from a party Jimin threw. “Why do you wash your clothes so much? Do you like me or something?” “Or something,” he responded, not paying attention to you drooling over him. His shirt stayed taut in all the right places. You watched as he tossed his clothes in the washer and started it. Growing bored as the time passed, you hopped up on the dryer and dangled your legs off the side. Keeping up with the conversation, you moved your legs as Taehyung transferred his clothes to the dryer and turned it on. Bad idea to sit on the dryer. You lurched forward as it vibrated beneath you, grazing your clit. You moaned softly and then blushed after realizing what happened.
“I-I have to go.” You were too embarrassed to stay and deal with the fact that your hot roommate heard you get turned on by a dryer. “Stay.” Taehyung’s voice was dominant and turned you on even more. Your juices were slowly soaking through to your shorts. Luckily, you were wearing black so it didn’t show, but at least you were in a place where you could wash your clothes. “Did that turn you on?” You shook your head. “Answer me, baby doll.” A small whimper left your lips when he forced his leg in between yours. “Yes, Daddy.” Daddy. Taehyung just realized that he had a Daddy kink. “Fuck, that was hot.” He watched as your face turned pink and looked away from him. This was not acceptable in his book. His hand gripped your chin and forced you to look at him. You looked into his lust-filled eyes and gulped as he leaned in closer, lips brushing yours. The need controlled your movements as you pulled him into a heated kiss. It was a mess of moans and tongues as you submitted to Taehyung.
Pulling away to catch your breath, Taehyung nipped and sucked at the soft skin of your neck, leaving marks. “We can’t do this here. There are cameras.” He nipped harshly at a sweet spot, causing you to moan. “Let them watch.” Forcing yourself not to succumb to his wants, you pushed him away. “We’ll get kicked out.” You jumped down only to be pushed against the wall. Taehyung grinded himself against you, the pleasure making you throw your head back. “Tae,” your voice was barely a whimper now. “You can’t leave me hanging babydoll, now can you?” “No Daddy but-“ He effectively cut you off by thrusting his long, slender fingers in your mouth, making you gag at the sudden intrusion. Drool spilled out of the corner of your mouth, making you feel absolutely filthy. If one were to walk into the laundry room, they’d know exactly what was going down or more who was going down.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway, nearing closer to the laundry room. “Stay quiet, babydoll and they won’t know a thing. You can do that for me, right?” “Yes, Daddy,” you sighed. “Good girl.” Taehyung removed his fingers from your mouth and wiped them on his sweatpants. “Hey, Taehyung. ________.” You managed to squeak out a small hi to your classmate, but Taehyung’s wandering hands didn’t help either. When she looked away to grab clothes, Taehyung’s large hand groped your breast, pinching your sensitive nipple through the shirt. “Shit,” you gasped. “Are you okay?” You looked up to see the girl staring at you worried. “Yeah, just had a cold chill.” It wasn’t a total lie, but it was believable enough for her to return to her laundry. “Who knew my baby doll had a little mouth on her?” Taehyung whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “What else can that pretty mouth say?” “Wait until we get back to the dorm to do anything,” you hissed, scared of getting caught but loving the thrill. “Tsk. Are you disrespecting me? Do I need to punish you?”
The thought of what Taehyung could do to you made you even wetter. Your juices threatened to escape your shorts and show him how much that affected you but there was no need. His fingers slipped into your shorts and ran across your clit forcing you to bite your lip to keep quiet. “Hey, you look sick. Are you okay?” You looked up to find the girl staring at you and suddenly, you were all too aware of Taehyung’s fingers threatening to push into you in a public area. “Yeah, it’s just hot in here.” “It is a little, but will you be kind enough to watch my clothes? I have to study and I don’t want someone to set them on top again in the middle of the wash.” A quick nod made her smile, and leave the room. “Babydoll, I think you have a voyeurism kink.” A smirk was etched on his face as you turned to him, wide-eyed. “And I think I know just how to satiate that. Would you like me to call Jungkookie? Or how about Yoongi hyung, hmm? How would you like to have your best friend watch you get ruined?”
“You don’t even need to talk, your body is talking for you,” he purred into your ear. You whined when he slipped his hands out of your shorts and tapped your lips. “Open up, babydoll.” Maybe you could get some retribution for his teasing. The lewd sucking sounds from you made Taehyung groan out loud. He pulled his fingers out and dried them on his sweatpants before turning to the dryer. “I think the dryer’s done.” Your mouth hung open as he completely ignored the fact that he had just been toying with you, making you a mess. Taehyung grabbed his phone and pulled up his contacts before calling someone. “I’ll be right back,” he said heading out to the hallway. Dumbfounded, you stood in place trying to figure out what just happened. Sexually frustrated, you squeezed your thighs together, hoping that your classmate would come to get her clothes so you could go home and fix your own problems. Fuck Taehyung. Fuck him and his effect on you.
“Hey, thank you! I owe you a favor.” You came back down to earth to see the second person you wanted to see the most. “Oh, it’s no biggie.” Exhaling heavily, you grabbed Taehyung’s clothes from the dryer, put them in his basket, and walked out to where he stood, still on his phone. He grunted when you shoved the basket into his chest before stomping back to the apartment, clearly struggling to keep your cool. Behind you, you heard Taehyung chuckle. “Okay, see you soon. Bye.” Was he really going to leave you like this? Almost immediately, you shut your bedroom door. You threw yourself face down on your bed, screaming. You turned over and stared at the ceiling, thinking about how it would feel to have Taehyung’s long fingers reaching lengths that your own couldn’t. Just the thought itself made your hands crawl down to the place that needed the most attention. You wasted no time slipping your fingers in between your folds, collecting the slick that was now dripping down onto the back of your shorts.
With ease, you pushed in one finger, your back arching at the pleasure. “Fuck,” you moaned out, now thrusting your fingers in and out. Moans spilled from your mouth as you edged closer to your high. Your door creaked open and you heard a tsk. “Babydoll, you couldn’t wait for me?” “You were busy on the phone,” you spat. “Being a little brat, are we? I think I can fix that.” Taehyung grabbed the silk tie from your robe hanging on the door and crawled onto your bed. “Hands.” “No, I’m so close,” you whimpered. He ignored your pleading as his large hands wrapped around your wrists, forcing them up towards the bed frame. “You don’t want to listen, then you don’t get to cum, baby doll. Fine. By. Me.” You tugged at the silk that restricted you to the bed. “Tae,” you whined out, earning a glare. “What did you just call me?” He asked darkly. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” His dark eyes disappeared when he smiled, causing you to internally scream at the fact that he could look so sexy one minute, but the next minute so cute.
“I brought you a gift!” Taehyung exclaimed, excitedly. Confused, you watched as he opened the door to reveal your best friend, leaning against your door frame. “Y-Yoongi, what are you doing here?” “No speaking without permission, Babydoll.” Yoongi strolled in and sat down in your desk chair, spreading his legs while exerting dominance. “Daddy, what are you doing?” “Kitten, I believe he told you not to talk without permission.” You gulped and watched as Taehyung stalked you like his prey. “Hmm, I bet you taste sweet.” Your hips rutted into the air as Taehyung dragged his fingers up your leg, over the spot you wanted them most, over your chest, and to your cheeks where he harshly squeezed them and forced you to look at him. “I want you to be a good girl for me. Or else.” Without warning, Taehyung ripped your shirt, exposing the dark red bra that you were thankful you had put on before going to the laundry room. “We won’t be needing this,” he said before reaching underneath you and unclasping your bra in one swift motion.
As the garment was thrown across the room, Taehyung was working at your perked nipples. You gasped as he pinched and twisted the sensitive bud. A low chuckle escaped from his lips as he took the other in his mouth, using his tongue to stimulate you. “Fuck,” you whined. Taehyung pulled back and removed his hands. “I’m pretty sure Taehyung made himself clear, Kitten,” Yoongi stated. You looked up at Taehyung as if asking for permission to talk. “You may speak, babydoll.” “I’m sorry, Daddy. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Just touch me please,” you said desperately, already having been denied an orgasm once. “I think you should ask Yoongi hyung what he thinks.” “Yoongi-“ He held up his hand to quiet you. “If you want to get anywhere with me, then you should call me master.” “Master, I’ll do anything, I just want someone to touch me. Please.” You saw a small smirk appear on his face as you spoke. “Taehyung, I think Kitten wants you to taste her.” “With pleasure.”
Taehyung tapped your thigh to signal for you to lift your hips so he could take off your shorts. “Babydoll, you're soaked. Is it because of Daddy or maybe it’s caused by your master?” You took your lip in between your teeth to stop the noises threatening to release themselves. A loud moan forced its way out of your mouth as Taehyung licked a stripe up your folds. “How does she taste?” “So good.” Just as quick as he spoke, he was already diving back in, devouring you like a starved man. You let out a broken sob at the euphoric feeling. If your hands weren’t tied, they’d be tangled up in Taehyung’s messy hair. Instead, you let your thighs tighten around his head. “Kitten, you're gonna suffocate him.” The male in between your legs let out a groan when he realized Yoongi’s words affected you. “Use your fingers, Taehyung.” Complying to Yoongi’s command, Taehyung slipped a finger into you, moving it at a fast pace. “Don’t be a pussy, add more. She can take it.” “Master-“ Your words were cut off by the male adding two more fingers. You felt your high approaching and so did Taehyung. Right before you came, he pulled away, letting your orgasm fade.
“You didn’t think I’d actually let you come so soon, did you, babydoll? You’ve been a bad girl.” You stared at him, tears spilling out of your eyes from being so close. “Don’t look so sad, Kitten. We’re just getting started.” Taehyung crawled off the bed and stripped off his shirt and pants, leaving himself in his underwear. Your eyes widened at the sight of Taehyung’s bulge straining against his boxers. You happily sighed as he took them off, letting his dick stand tall and proud. “Like what you see?” Taehyung asked cockily. “I know for a fact that Yoongi’s bigger.” He let out a growl, sounding almost animalistic as Yoongi chuckled from the side. “Well, she’s not wrong.” “It doesn’t matter the size, as long as you fuck your bitch right.” The bed dipped as he untied the silk from the bed frame. He pulled you towards him, seeing as how your wrists were still tied together. “And tonight, along with every other night, you are my bitch.” His lips crashed against yours in a messy make out. You fought for dominance but ultimately lost. Taehyung pulled away for air and readjusted you so you were on his lap. Even though he was dominating you, he still wanted to make sure you were ready for him.
“Are you ready?” The sincerity in his voice was sweet but you were too far gone to care. “Take me, daddy. Make me your bitch.” You whispered the last word into his ear before nibbling at it, making him groan. Taehyung lifted you up and helped you ease onto his dick. He let out a guttural groan as he bottomed out. “Move for me, babydoll.” Using his chest as leverage, you brought your body up before slamming it back down, repeating the process. Eventually, you started to slow down, becoming worn out from doing all the work. Taehyung gladly took control, flipping you over and pounding you deep into the mattress, making you moan out loud. You glanced over at Yoongi, who was watching the entire show with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. A sharp gasp left your lips as Taehyung found that ‘special’ spot. “YOONGI,” you screamed out in pleasure, making Taehyung wrap his hands around your throat and lean down towards you. He chuckled deeply into your ear. “Oh babydoll, you’re in for a long night.”
You became frustrated when Taehyung pulled out once again, making you cry out. “Daddy. Please let me cum just once.” He pretended to think about it before shaking his head. “I think you’ve been a good girl but I’m not letting you cum. He might though.” You froze and looked to where Taehyung was pointing. Jungkook stood dumbfounded in the doorway, watching your naked body shudder under his gaze. Yoongi pulled up the other chair and patted it, signaling Jungkook to sit down. You watched as he shifted in his chair, trying to ignore the raging hard-on he was sporting. “Looks like Jungkookie has a little problem. Why don’t you let him use you? Maybe he’ll let you cum.” Jungkook visibly gulped as Taehyung stepped away and gave him permission to come up to you. “C-Can I?” He asked, reaching out for your hand. “Yes, sir.” His eyes darkened at the two little words that held a monumental effect on him. Jungkook carefully took your hand in his, wanting to be a little more on the sweet side.
“She’s not porcelain, she won’t break,” Taehyung scoffed. “Trust me, I know.” He added, throwing you a smirk. “You’re right, I didn’t break. Maybe you just didn’t fuck me hard enough.” Sure you were gonna die, but it would be worth it. “Bitch-“ Jungkook turned and stood face to face with Taehyung. “You said it was my turn, therefore; it’s my turn. Clearly, you didn’t impress her.” Taehyung backed up, astonished that his friend just spoke back to him. Jungkook returned to his spot beside you and untied your wrists. “No need for this.” You sighed and rolled your wrists, happy that there wasn’t something restraining them anymore. “Thank you, sir.” “On your knees.” Gladly, you dropped down on your knees in front of him. His hands fumbled to get the belt on his jeans undone, but once he got it off everything else was easy. “I want you to put that pretty mouth to use. You said you don’t have a gag reflex and I’m here to test that, Princess.”
Once his dick was free from its confinement, you set to work, smearing his precum along his length. He let out an almost pornographic moan when you kitten licked his tip. “Don’t tease.” Not wanting to make him wait any longer, you opened your mouth and fit as much as you could at one time. “Good girl,” Jungkook groaned, his fingers tangling into your hair and pushing you further down, enjoying the feeling of your tongue swirling around his dick. You hollowed your cheeks and began to suck on his length softly. He bucked his hips harshly when he felt you swallow the drool threatening to spill out of the corners of your mouth. “I can’t hold back, Princess.” You tapped his thigh signaling to let go of his restraint and just fuck your mouth until your throat is raw. Jungkook happily did so, thrusting roughly to the point where your nose reached the skin at the base of his dick. “You weren’t lying, babydoll. You really don’t have a gag reflex.” Feeling proud of your little feat, you sucked harshly making Jungkook’s head fall back in pleasure. Somewhere in there, you swore you heard Yoongi mumble, “fuck, that’s hot,” under his breath.
“I’m cumming, Princess.” You felt him pull out of your mouth and use his hand to get his release. “Open your mouth,” Jungkook commanded. Just the sheer tone of his voice made you eagerly stick out your tongue awaiting his next move. He moaned as he came, his release staying mainly on your tongue but escaping to your chin and down to your chest. “Look at the little cum slut so eager to please,” Yoongi chuckled, his thumb coming to wipe the excess off your chin and bringing it to your mouth. “Open up, Princess.” You took Yoongi’s thumb in your mouth and sucked, trying to make his facade break. “You can show me what that little mouth of yours can do later. Right now, it’s Jungkook’s turn, Kitten.” Listening to Yoongi, you turned to see Jungkook already shirtless and working on his skinny jeans. You gawked at his muscles, admiring how well built he was. “Shit,” you whispered under your breath, imagining Jungkook fucking you up against your bedroom wall. His strong arms holding you up while his hips thrust into you at an inhuman pace.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, Princess.” Back in reality, Jungkook was already stripped and standing in front of you. “Nothing, sir.” “Now don’t lie or you won’t get what you want.” You gulped nervously and spoke. “I was thinking about you f-fucking me against the wall.” Your voice was hushed and raw but Jungkook still smirked, hearing you clearly. “Your wish is my command.” Before you could speak, his hands were already helping you to your feet. He pulled you into a kiss that started out soft, his teeth occasionally nibbling at your bottom lip. “Jump.” As soon as your legs wrapped around his body, the kiss became rougher and needier. Your hands tangled into his hair, and your back hit the cold wall, making you whine. With his strength, he gingerly slid you onto his length. The sound of his skillful hips slapping against your skin soon filled the room as Jungkook set to work on covering your neck in his marks. You moaned when he found your sweet spot. “Found it,” he said with a small chuckle. He continued his assault on your neck, enjoying the sinful sounds you made dangerously close to his ear.
“Sir, I’m going to cum,” you whispered in between marking his neck. “Cum for me, Princess.” Unable to hold back any longer, you bit down onto Jungkook’s neck as you came, your moans being muffled. Jungkook wasn’t expecting you to have a biting kink but it had him pulling out and cumming in seconds. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he worded breathlessly. Your head laid on his shoulders, tired and worn out. Jungkook laid you onto the bed and watched as you started to drift off, chuckling because they were not done with you. Sleep was only an inch away when you were jolted awake by a tongue against your sensitive clit. You looked down to see Yoongi lazily eating you out, taking his time and ruining any chance of you getting any energy back. “Yoongi,” you whimpered out, earning a small bite on your thigh. “Master, please. I can’t take it. It hurts.” He pulled his head up to look at you with dangerous eyes. “Keep complaining and I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.” You threw your head back in defeat as Yoongi continued his assault. After a minute or two, he decided to add one of his fingers, pushing it in slowly. Instinctively, your hips bucked into his fingers to get more friction. Your own fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling when his fingers pushed in.
It was so dirty and filthy the way you were enjoying how your best friend was making you feel. The way his tongue skillfully danced across your clit. The way the sucking and nibbling made you cry out in pleasure. “Did I say you could make noise?” “No but-“Yoongi looked up at you with a dark, piercing gaze. “Make one more sound, and I’ll punish you.” You almost whimpered at the sound of his harsh tone, but you held it back and nodded your head. “Good girl.” While Yoongi was teasing you, you tried your hardest to not make a sound, biting your lip so hard it almost started to bleed. His lips traveled up your body, placing light, feathery kisses along with marks that would take weeks to disappear. He crashed his lips against yours in a messy make out and you were careful not to make noise. Your hips moved along with his fingers at a fast pace, making the whole scene feel heavenly. Everyone else in the room became non-existent as Yoongi kissed you roughly, sending bolts down to your core. Even as you were making out with him, you still fought the urge to make noise. Yoongi pulled away from the kiss. “Struggling much, kitten?”
With all your strength, you reached up and crashed your lips against his again to stop the whine threatening to slip from your lips. You were so caught up in kissing him, that you didn’t feel his fingers run through your hair. Yoongi waited a few seconds before tugging your hair harshly. A cry escaped your lips as you grabbed the sheets, crumpling up the once pristine purple sheets. Your eyes widened at the realization of what you had just done, broken his only rule. “Master, please. I didn’t mean to.” The pleads of forgiveness slipped out in a broken voice. Yoongi chuckles darkly. “I had one rule, kitten. And you couldn’t even follow it. I’m disappointed. I didn’t want to have to punish you.” “Please. I’ve been a good girl. Don’t do this,” you whined, feeling his fingers work your orgasm closer. Noticing the way you clenched heavily around his fingers, he pulled them out of you. “You sound cute when you beg, kitten. I can’t wait to make you beg me to stop. If you take your punishment like the good girl I know you are, I’ll fuck you until you’re crying. Okay?” You nodded desperately. “Good. You didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.”
“On your knees, slut. I’m going to fuck your throat raw,” Yoongi commanded. While you got on your knees and awaited your fate, Yoongi undressed himself. He walked to where you were kneeling for him. You were too busy looking at the floor to notice him, so he yanked your hair to make you look at him. “Now that I have your attention, you ready?” You took a deep breath before nodding at him. He released your hair, but only for a minute. He pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he thrust into your mouth. Yoongi chuckled as drool dribbled out of your mouth and down your chin. His low groans were music to your ears. As he grew closer to his release, his pace got rougher and sloppier. Right before he came, he pulled out of your mouth, breathing heavily. “Master, you didn’t cum,” you forced out, your words not fully forming because of your raw throat. “Listen to that. Babydoll can’t speak properly.” Yoongi threw a smirk towards the two other boys in the room as if saying ‘I did this and you didn’t’. “I don’t want to cum yet because you are going to take it like the little cumslut you are. And you’ll enjoy every minute of it whether you like it or not.”
You mentally smiled, knowing that even though Yoongi was treating you like a slut, he would stop if need be. “Bed. Now.” You immediately stood up and went to the bed, complying to Yoongi’s command. “Face down, ass up,” he enunciated each word, forcing you to do the action by pressing his hand in the middle of your back and pushing down so your back was arched. The bed dipped as he climbed up behind you and prepared himself. The stretch was a little different from Jungkook’s and Taehyung’s dicks. It was slightly longer than Jungkook’s but less girthier and Taehyung just couldn’t compare. Taehyung’s length was a bit shorter and less girthier than both men. It was perfect for a causal sex but right now, you wanted to be fucked, destroyed, not able to walk tomorrow. The sound of Yoongi placing harsh smacks on your ass while pounding you face first into the mattress was a sight for the others. Jungkook had gotten his phone out and started to record while Taehyung had grabbed his camera from the other room and took pictures of your fucked out expressions to add to his new keepsake box.
“Let the neighbours hear how good I make you feel, kitten,” Yoongi growled out, focusing on the feeling of you clenching around him. A loud, pornographic moan erupted from your lips, eliciting a smirk from Yoongi. He groaned when he looked at where your cunt was swallowing his dick, pulling it in with a vice-like grip. A word slipped past your mouth, making Yoongi chuckle. “Are you sure you’re ready for me to go faster, kitten?” You tapped the bed, signaling yes as your confirmation words were swallowed into the mattress. Your face went even further into the mattress… if that was even possible. Yoongi thrusted into you at an almost animalistic pace, making you scream into the sheets. “Maybe you should fuck the bitch more often if she screams that loud for you,” Taehyung said, his voice deeper than usual. “Maybe I should. It’s not like you could anyways.” Taehyung clenched his jaw, but opted to not say anything. “Are you going cum all over my dick for me, Kitten?” Knowing you couldn't answer, Yoongi continued to thrust into you harshly, edging you closer to your limit. “Yoongi,” you yelled out as he continued his relentless pace through your orgasm, immediately overstimulating you.
“I’m not stopping until I cum, little brat.” He flipped you over onto your back and repositioned you so that your leg was on his shoulder and the other was against your chest. Tears spilled from your eyes as he ignored your pleas. His hips stuttered as he came inside of you, thrusting a little more to milk himself of every last drop before he fell beside you. “I did too much work,” he huffed out. “Pfft. A good fuck goes all night. A mediocre fuck goes one round,” Taehyung teased, riling up the mint haired boy. “I never said I couldn’t go more rounds, I just said I’m done doing the work.” While the two bickered back and forth, Jungkook was already making his way over to you, wheeling in the chair. With the last bit of strength you had, you climbed into his lap. “How are you feeling, princess?” He asked sweetly. You laid your head on his shoulder, tired. “Sore and tired,” you sighed out, placing a soft kiss on his neck. Jungkook placed a kiss to your forehead and allowed you to rest for a minute or two. “Don’t go to sleep yet. We aren’t finished with you,” he said softly but yet something about it was hot. Discreetly, his hands moved your bottom half against his growing problem. “Sir, please. Five more minutes.” Jungkook sighed sharply. “But I need to be in you.” You lifted yourself up and allowed Jungkook to slip his dick into your sensitive heat.
“Don’t move.” While he didn’t enjoy orders from you, he did enjoy the warmth of your tight walls around his length. Caught up in the passion and slowness of the moment, you kissed Jungkook. You kissed him slowly and passionately, not rough like you did when he was taking you against the wall. His hands laid upon your waist, holding you close. Your arms were wrapped around the back of his neck as you continued your soft make out session. You were so into the kiss that you didn’t realize a few things. A)Jungkook had started moving, going against your instructions, B) Yoongi was watching what was going on, and C) Taehyung was now behind you, trailing his fingers up your body as he sucked marks on your neck and shoulder bone. Feeling Taehyung behind you, sucking and biting at your neck made you kiss Jungkook with a little bit more rush. “Let’s turn you around, babydoll.” Careful, not to move too much, you turned around and came face to face with two dicks. “We’ll give Jungkook the pleasure of finishing off in you last, but I want your mouth, babydoll. Let me see what had the others coming so fast.”
Yoongi looked at you expectantly, clearly not wanting to be left to help himself. Your hand wrapped around his dick and began to pump his length. Taehyung on the other hand, had tapped your lips with his fingers making you open up. He slid his dick in easily and you hollowed your cheeks before bobbing your mouth up and down. Jungkook, noticing that you were preoccupied, took matters into his own hands by bucking his hips up into you causing you to moan around Taehyung. The vibrations against his length made Taehyung groan out and you were pretty sure the neighbours could hear and knew exactly what was going on. “I’m taking over, okay Babydoll?” You looked up at him through your blown out eyes and nodded. His long fingers grabbed ahold of your hair and the back of your head pushing you down to meet his thrust. He did this a couple of times to test the waters before picking up the speed almost making you gag at times. The hand that was working Yoongi stuttered as you tried to focus on the two things that were fucking into you and he quickly lost patience, taking matters into his own hands (metaphorically).
Yoongi started fucking into your hand at the same pace as Taehyung, imagining that it was your skillful tongue working him and not a measly hand. Your knees quickly grew painful at the hard cracked leather scraping and scratching at them but you pushed through. In your bliss, you looked up and saw Taehyung become a groaning mess as he felt his high near. His face was contorted with pleasure as his hands grabbed whatever was nearest to him which happened to be your desk. Yoongi was close by, moaning out your name as you struggled to keep your hand shaped for him. Jungkook wasn’t far behind as he had been edging himself during the time Yoongi was fucking the life out of you. You weren’t as close as the others and you were counting on one of them to help you. “I’m coming, babydoll,” Taehyung choked out. You swallowed the drool that had form in your mouth around him to make room for the next thing. His large hand pushed your head down all the way and released down your throat effectively making you gag. He pulled away, exhausted and went to grab some lotion and towels.
You felt Yoongi’s thumb grab up the excess cum from your mouth and wiped it on your bottom lip. You were going to lick it off to tease him but Jungkook hit just right and had your head falling back against his shoulder. “Sir, more please.” “Yoongi is finished yet.” A whine fell from your lips but you set to work making your hand meet Yoongi’s thrusts. You leaned down to where his dick poked through and kitten licked the tip each time it came through. “Shit. Keep doing that and I won’t be able to hold back.” A few more thrusts or so of doing that and he was cumming. Bits of it were all over your neck and face and some landed on your breasts. The entire picture was lewd. Before Yoongi could get affected by the scene again, he rushed to get the bath running. “It’s just you and me, princess.” With ease, Jungkook went faster while you slammed your hips down to meet his. “Jungkookie, I’m cumming!” “Cum for me, Princess.” He had neared his high right as you had and you both came at the same time. You shut your eyes, tired, sore and hungry. A scream came from the doorway.
“What the fuck?” The new voice had Taehyung and Yoongi running, only Yoongi had the decency to wear a towel around his waist. “YOONGI? Oh my god! I’ll come back later. Have fun.” “Jimin-ah.” Yoongi called him, effectively making the boy turn and stare. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll break you.” Jimin smiled sheepishly knowing he would die if he didn’t listen. “I believe you. I mean, you already broke our best friend. Wait, is she still your best friend or….” “Go wait in the living room.” You gave a weak smile as you heard Jimin laugh down the hallway, running from Yoongi. “Let’s get you two in the bath.” The voice wasn’t registering in your head but you felt yourself being lifted up and placed in the hot bath. Not long after, you felt another body enter the tub. “Come cuddle me, Princess.” “No, we are washing you guys up.” You felt hands placing soap in your hair, washing it before moving onto your body. “She’s tired, Taehyung.” “We all fucked her pretty good.” “Correction, I did.” “Shut up Kook.” “You, Tae.” You chuckled at the boys and let whoever was washing you, continue. “Come on, up you go.” It was Yoongi washing you with such gentleness. He wrapped a towel around you as soon as he helped you stand up. “Let’s go get you some clothes,” he spoke softly which was a nice change from all the times before.
You walked out to the living room in Jungkook's shirt and a pair of loose shorts and nothing else. With the help of the walls, you walked out to Jimin and sat beside him. “One of the boys couldn’t have helped you out here?” “I could do it myself, I’m a big girl,” you said weakly. “Yes you are. So tell me….” You looked at him expectantly, not knowing what was going to be said. “How were they? Especially Yoongi! Was he as big and good as he claimed to be?” The way Jimin threw question after question and cutely stared at you waiting for the answers made you laugh. “They were good and Yoongi is way better and bigger than what he said he was.” The two of you got lost in conversation when the other three came out to sit on the couch and chairs. “I hear you talking good things about Yoongi and Jungkook but what about me?” “You were okay,” you teased Taehyung who pouted. Still hazy from the sex, you leaned over and kissed him. “Did you just kiss me?” “Was I not allowed to?” You question, curious as to why not right now, just minutes after they were all kissing and making out with you. “What are we?” Jungkook asked. “Whatever you guys want to be,” you shrugged, down with being in a relationship or a friends with benefits situation or even just friends and this never happened. The room was silent with people thinking of what to call this.
Yoongi spoke up first. “I’m okay with all of us being in a relationship.” “You’re suggesting polyamory?” You asked, watching his head nod. “I’m down!” All four heads turned to look at the enthusiastic Jungkook already eyeing you. “All you guys need is Taehyung,” Jimin pointed out. “Yeah, I’m good with it. I have more chances to prove myself now.” You threw the pillow at Taehyung and laughed when it hit his head. “Shut up.” “How about no?” “Wait, so this means that I can do couply things with you guys and kiss you and be alone with you?” Yoongi nodded. “Yeah but don’t kiss me in public. Don’t need Jimin getting jealous.” “Yah! I’m not jealous. You’re mediocre at best, hyung.” You smacked Jimin’s chest making him wince. “Don’t say anything you don’t know.” “Oh yeah, I forgot. You’re an expert on Yoongi now,” he joked, sticking his tongue out at you. “I am. And I am an expert on Taehyung and Jungkook. Got a problem?” “No. You aren’t an expert on me so we are good.” You painfully crossed your arms standing your ground. “Oh yeah? Should I tell them about the 3 am Dream calls where you interrupt my sleep talking about your sex dreams?” Jimin’s eyes went wide. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll go order Chinese as a sorry.” The four of you laughed as you watched Jimin scurry off to order food. “Hey, princess?” You turned towards Jungkook only to be met by a quick kiss. “Meanie.”
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here ya go :) (i'm suffering)
#bts#yoongi#taehyung#jungkook#bts smut#yoongi smut#taehyung smut#jungkook smut#submission#kpop-4-ever
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so when fiddleye died my mom was like in a huge rush to take him outside and i should have like grew a spine about having him be there until the other cats came to sniff, idk if we even live in a state that allows backyard burrying gfgd its unsanitary at any rate tho this is like a very animal dense area so i suppose its unavoidable regardless, i want to dig him up and either like wire up his skeleton and decorate him like a jeweled saint or like find a place thatll do post bury cremations and have him be in a little cat shaped urn, idk whichll be more respectful and thatll be for like after i leave like ill leave, come back, get his body in the dead of night and leave again, maybe they wont even know im visiting how ill (read: very cool) would that be omg, knives slept by the back door thats in the room my mom has as a master bedroom thats def suppose to be a dining room or a general living area, like this place is clearly like one of those places people who live in the city come to the beach in to change into swim suits, bbq and go back to the city but the region and country at large doesnt really suppose that class anymore so this was converted very half assly into a home like the listing says its four bedrooms but the one “bedroom” is an unevenly poured concrete floor where the washer and drier would be hooked up and like half of the water and heating stuff ends up there, then theres my room which is like skirting the line of the size allowance for a bedroom in a house of this sqfootage like if i didnt have a window i dont think it would count gfgfd they tried to expand it and legitmize it with this closet space but theres a weird like slide door thing that you can just pull back and get into the other room that was def sliced in half with a middle closet and theres like this weird like hole that runs from both rooms to the outside? im worried my brother thinks i put the hole in the closet as he recently put tape on his side of it after like vaccumning his room for the first time on his own fdgdfgdfg i suppose i should have covered the hole up but like i didnt think it looked directly into his room rather the interior of the middle closet and its so low to the ground and it the corner like that i just sorta forgot about it until i noticed the light coming through it was extra bright cause of the tape he put over it, like why is there a hole that runs through two rooms to the outside???? all the doors also had locks on the outside too like, really weird, really weird she bought this place like like energy seeks like places i suppose, omg off topic, i have a lot of back through dumping to do,
anyway knives was sleeping by the backdoor for a few days and then eventually came to sleep where he died and my mom was like “those two didnt get along shes happy hes gone” basically and i was just so speechless like gfgfdgf???? cause like when she isnt sleeping shes been picking up the mewoing and gathering people to take care of cat buisness which was his thing and it was just such a horrible shocking thing to hear some one say about an animal thats displaying like an understanding of death like, because he’d gone the other two have been walking his paths and like even the one cat who doesnt really like to climb has been going up on the higher paths when the other one was sleeping in the death spot and by the door like?? it was such a deranged thing for her to say and its been like haunting me since so hopefully like getting it down will help shake it off, knives has picked my brother to be The Person which is really regrettable but : // i am leaving so i wont have that guilt about it, like he doesnt let the cats in his room and has the only door in the house and my mom coddles him over the cats like all his life like id get yelled at if i like stopped a cat from tearing up my stuff but He Has Allergies so the cats keep out of his room (his allergies are like plant based sxdfsd) ive been like no the cats cant knead freely on my things and sometimes i dont want the cats in my room my mom acts like im betraying The Family over it, its really,,,but knives will sleep on the back of the couch up against the wall the living room and my brothers room shares or she’ll stand outside his bedroom door and meow, shes taken to like waiting by the door for him and he barely gives her the time of day, they both yell at her constantly, like fully scream at her for meowing in the morning
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For @thelovelydeer
It was early morning just before sunrise when a loud crash came from you basement. You startled out of bed and cautiously went down the stairs to check what was going on. When you looked into the darkness from the stairs you spotted a large shape stumbling around.
You sighed when you heard the shape mumble. You flipped the light on and the shaped jumped and yelped in suprise. "Your late Dictatious." Your pale green troll datemate chuckles nervously "i was looking for something and it took a little longer then i was expecting because you know, i'm blind." "Then you should have taken someone with you," you sighed as you finished your way down the basement stairs.
He shrugged, "they were busy." He returned to tufging on a medium sized box. "If you dont mind helping me." "You know i don't." You meet him at the bottom of the step and helped him carry it into the livingroom. As you set it on the floor in front of the couch you asked "so what all did you go looking for?"
"I was looking for things for you," Dictatious looked a little embarrassed "you habe been smelling a little sad lately and as you are my favorite fleshbag, i can not let you go like that for longor the others would think me a bad," he paused to think of the word, "boyfriend, i believe you fleahbags call non-bonded partners."
You smile and giggle, before he could say it you speak, "im not laughing at you,: you pat his stoney cheek, "your too cute for your own good." You carefully kissed his cheek. He chuckled and his ears twitched for a second. You where the only one who knew his ears wiggled when he was happy, like his brothers, but he had better control of them, thanks to his time with the Gum-Gums.
He looked a little fluatered, "now open your gifts." He motioned you towards the box. "Did you steal any of the stuff?" You asked as walked over to the box. "Only two things," he smiled "the rest i found at the dump," you sighed and he spoke again "i know "stop stealing" but that shop keep had no right to refuse sale of that part you needed for your vehicle just becuase i was with you."
You sighed, "what else did you steal?" "Just a photograph frame for that photograph you like so much, the one of the two of us." He stated as he made his way to his arm chair. "Now get to the rest." The smell of the dump hit you as you opened the box. "Defiantly going to have to wash some of this." You stated pulling a blanket of your favorite color out of the box, it had a few holes in it as well, "and some patch work." "Why wash they smell fine?" He looked a little insulted. "The germs," you clarified "don't want to get sick." You raised a brow, you knew he couldn't see so you stated, "you dont want me to get sick do you?"
"Of course not!" His brows shot up with concern, "we both know how badly i handled the last time you got sick." "Badly," you giggled as ypu pulled the other stuff from the box.
A small old tv, a chipped flower vase, an old CD player, a pair of pants you had been looking at online, the photo frame and the part for your vehicle.
You didnt see Dictatious's ears wiggle happily as you unpacked the box. His ears stopped when you turned around. "I'll put the blanket and pants in the wash and the other stuff away then i'll make us a snack for us." "And i'll be here, as always." He listened as you walked to the washer in your garage and set the other stuff on the shelves out there. As you walked past him to the kitchen you kissed him on the cheek.
He listened as you worked in the kitchen. 'Probably making tea and tea sandwiches, mostl likely the ham and cheese kind,' he thought and he thought was confirmed when the smell of your favorite tea hit his nose. When you returned to the livingroom yo took a seat on the couch closest to him.
As you two snacked, you talked about your dayat work/school and he listened. Only interrupting to offer advice or trash talk your workmates/classmates with you. When you asked about his day he talked till he noticed you had fallen asleep.
He carefully picked you up with his upper arms and felt his way to your shared nest(bed)room with his lower arms, careful not to wake you. He was lucky you weren't awake to see the loving "look" he was giving you as he set you on the bed. He felt his way around to the other side and joined ypu on the bed. He wrapped his arms around you, feeling your warmth avainst him and your scenr strong in his nose. He whispered as he fell asleep, "it's your fault i can't sleep along anymore."
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Party in the USA
Hey guys, It's @leelee10898.Ive been MIA from CGW for a while, I miss it so much.. In light of the 4th of July, ive thrown together some squad shenanigans for ya!! I tried my damndest to get this finished yesterday, but no luck... I did a super fast edit, so im sorry, but this shit is gonna be flawed lol.. enjoy.
The Royal Jett touched down in Dulles international airport as the girls squealed in their seats. It was 4th of July weekend and they were excited to share it with their men, since not one of them had ever celebrated the extremely patriotic American Holiday. "Nothing says 4th of July like celebrating in our nation's capital." Anitah beamed as she stepped off the plane, joining the group who already exited. "Well, you're the queen of Cordonia now, she is your Nation now Love." Liam grinned as he kissed her cheek. "Um no offense Liam, but this will always be our nation." Alicia butted in. "Yeah, 'Merica!" Genevieve pumped her fist. "Merica?" Liam whispered to Drake "yeah. Short for America. Just, go with it Li." Drake shook his head. Pam laughed at her friends "ok Ladies, how about we get settled and go find something to get into."
They opted to rent a house instead of a hotel so they could grill and chill the proper way. "Oh shit, there's a pool, I can't even wait to jump in that later." Alicia smirked as she winked at Leo. "Clothing optional love?" He smirked as Liam rolled his eyes. "Why are you two always naked every trip we take?" Liam huffed as the two shrugged. "Well, we could just start right now." Leo began tugging at his shorts. "NO!" the group resounded. "Hey guys, I seen a huge fireworks tent down the street. We should go check it out." Maxwell walked outside where the group had converged, a glass of purple liquid in hand. "Maxwell, what do you have there?" Drake eyed him suspiciously. "Just some punch." He shrugged, giving the girls a look.
One by one the girls made their way inside sneaking drinks of maxwell's punch. Once they reached a nice buzz they decided to venture off into DC. They watched a parade, sampled some summertime staples including funnel cake and deep fried oreos. There was a carnival being held and they would have a fireworks display at night fall. "Oh! The zipper. I loved that ride." They eyed the caged ride "how's your tummy feeling Gen?" Pam gave her a look. "It's good, let's do this shit!"
"Are you sure darling? This doesn't look safe." Rashad voiced his concern. "Psh, safe shamafe. This shit is indestructible,it's probably like 40 years old." Anitah snorted.
"Yeah because everyone wants to ride a 40 year old death trap. No thanks Brooks." Drake held up his hands and shook his head. "Its ok Drake, I think the ferris wheel is calling our names." Pam winked at her husband, who then adjusted his pants.
Rashad looked at Genevieve, and then to the zipper swallowing audibly she took his hand and led him towards the ride. "It's gonna be ok Rashad. Do it for America." She smiled at him.
Maxwell had already been strapped in the seat and moved up Liam and Anitah also already on the ride in a cart halfway up. "Ok this doesn't seem to bad love." Liam leaned back as they slowly made their way up letting others on. "Oh it's great. Just wait until we really get going." She smirked. Liam arched his brow "what does that mean,my queen?"
"So how does this work exactly?" Leo asked Alicia. "Well, we basically go around in a circle, and flip upside down, a lot. You don't have a weak stomach do you Leo?"
"No. I can handle it. Liam on the other hand, he's going to puke or scream. Maybe both." He chuckled. "My money's on both. Anitah is going to laugh at him." Alicia giggled.
"You know Love, thing we haven't done yet." He gave her the signature Rhys smirk "oh. Shit. Leo." She jerked as she felt his long fingers slip between her legs.
"Gen, love. I'm not so sure about this. Why does it move like that?" Rashad began to panic. "It's supposed to move like that. Just calm down, it's gonna be so much fun." She patted his leg. "It's supposed to sound like it needs 4 quarts of oil on the rickety old Metal?" Genevieve let out a high pitched squeal. "This is going to be so much fun. If you piss your pants, I will laugh at you." Suddenly the ride jerked and picked up speed, their cart reached the top as it flipped over. Rashad let out a long girlish scream as they plummeted upside down towards the ground.
"Oh my god. Oh my god im gonna diiiiie." Liam screamed as Anitah laughed uncontrollably. She wasn't sure if it was the thrill of the ride, or Liam's girlish screams but she was definitely enjoying herself. "Oh god. Noooooo. Help me!" He screamed again, joining Rashad in fear stricken symphony.
The ride came to an end Liam ran to the nearest trash can, head inside as he puked. "Told you he would puke." Leo laughed as Anitah stood next to her husband, giving him a sympathetic pat on the back as the other hand gave him bunny ears for a photo.
A dizzy Rashad stumbled off the ride "see baby. That wasn't so bad." Genevieve looked at Rashad who was pale faced. "That was." He retched "I just…" His hand flew over his face as he bolted towards the trash can next to Liam.
"Looks like those two couldn't handle the ride huh?" Drake snorted as he and Pam approached the group. "Nope. Hey how come you two didn't ride? Scared Drake?" Alicia teased. "He wasn't scared. We just, had other plans." Pam blushed as Drake pulled her into his side. "Why are your pants unbuttoned?" Anitah questioned, before going wide eyed in realization. "How about we go back to the house, and get this party started." Leo Spoke up.
"For once, I agree with my brother. I've had enough of this." Liam spit into the trash can. "Wait. Where's Maxwell?"
"Maxwell. Max." They called, and he didn't come. "He will find his way back. Lets just go." Drake took Pam's hand "Drake, were in Washington, not Cordonia how's he going to find his way?" Anitah folded her hands across her chest. "He's like a damn puppy brooks. He will find his way home, now come on." Drake grunted as Anitah finally gave in.
Back at the house Drake and Leo ran to the store, returning a short while later with a few cases of beer and some liquor and wine. Still no sign of Maxwell. "I'm gonna call him." Alicia pulled her phone out and dialed his number, they heard it ringing inside. "Looks like he left his phone behind." Rashad lifted the phone off the counter. "I hope he is ok. Maybe we should call the police?" Pam worried, it wasn't like Maxwell to stray so far from the group.
Finally Maxwell came sauntering in, hands full of bags. "Maxwell!" Anitah shouted as she wrapped him in a hug "where the hell have you been?" She slapped his arm. "Ouch, hey little blossom that hurt!" He rubbed his arm "I went to the fireworks tent. Look at all the cool stuff I got. "I'll be taking these." Drake reached out to grab the bags, Maxwell recoiled defensively, clutching the explosives to his chest. "No, these are mine. Don't take my toys away Drake."
"Maxwell, let me see what you have." Leo walked over sorting through the bag. "Um Maxwell, most of these are illegal in DC. Where did you even get these?" Maxwell smiled, oh I took an Uber to Virginia. "Ok Maxwell. You can have these and these." Liam held him out a box of sparklers and some fountains. "The rest, were putting up." He handed the bags to Bastian.
"Yeah, can you imagine Maxwell with a damn mortar? He would blow up the damn shed over there." Drake chuckled, and then shook his head.
The night went on, the group getting drunker by the minute. Liam sat perched up on the steps of the pool, wearing American flag swim trunks and a stars and stripes bandana around his head. "Woooooo 'Merica!" He hollered as the group around him screamed " 'MERICA" back. Genevieve and Anitah danced on the picnic table in their skimpy bikinis, beers in hand. Alicia and Leo were busy in the corner. hands all over each other while Rashad and Maxwell played a game of washers.
"Hey, look what fell out of the bag." Pam beamed as she walked over with a small box. "The singing lotus?" Drake looked at it. "Huh. Looks like it plays the star spangled banner, when you light it." He pulled the content from the box and sat it on the patio next to the pool, carefully lighting the fuse and backing away.
The fireworks began to spin, sparks of red, gold and blue shot from the center while it played a very distorted version of the star spangled banner. "Oh my god. My ears, make it stop." Genevieve shouted as she held her hands over her ears.
Alicia stood up, momentarily stepping away from Leo and began to belt out the song.
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
Gen and Anitah stopped dancing, and began to sing along. Pam joining in as well.
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
"Play ball!" Anitah and Alicia said in unison. They looked at the burned out dilapidated flower. "Man that was a sad excuse for a firework. " drake mumbled "Just look at it." The group looked down at the melted heap of plastic and soot.
As the night went on and the sun went down, the group were pretty drunk. Pam and Drake disappeared into the pool shed, Anitah and Genevieve continued to dance and sing on the picnic table while Rashad and Liam looked on. Leo and Alicia ended up in the pool together, while nobody noticed Maxwell had snuck off again. Anitah had convinced Liam to let her paint his face in the American Flag, so he just sat there arm slung over the chair, red white and blue face with a Budweiser in hand.
Rashad started to babble, staring straight ahead. He made no sense whatsoever and the only thing he could do was point. "Rashad, what the hell are you trying to say. Spit it out." Genevieve snapped. Finally climbing down from the picnic table she stood in front of him waving her hands in front of his face "helllooooo?" "Shiminag hemmeinah. Ah ma tha…" he babbled.
Suddenly a firework whizzed past Liam's head and exploded against the pool shed. "Run for cover." Liam screamed as he dove into the pool. Rashad still standing there dumbfounded Genevieve tried with all her might to pull him away, but he wouldn't budge. "I love you, but I don't feel like getting blown up." She yelled taking Anita's hand and jumping into the pool.
"What the fuck is going on out here?" Pam snapped as she and a Drake stumbled out of the shed. Another firework crashed into the shed, pam screamed and ran into the pool. Drakes pants fell around his ankles as he tried to run, he kicked them off and joined his wife in the pool.
Fireworks were flying dangerously low, explosions everywhere as Maxwell sensed the sudden danger and ran for cover under the porch. Alicia and Leo obvious to the Chao ensuing around them, continued to have sex in the corner of the pool. Alicia opened her eyes looking above her. "Leo. I see fireworks." She gasped. "I know baby. I have that effect. " she smirked as he thrust into her. "No, you ass. The fucking back yards a war zone." She tapped his shoulder, and pointed to the disaster area. Leo loomed around the pool, their friends and family screaming. Bastien on the phone with the fire company, deftly ducked under a bottle rocket headed straight for his head. "Beaumont, when I get my hands on you." Bastien shouted. "Im sorry bas. I didn't mean to light all the fuses." Maxwell shouted back.
Dark smoke plummeted from the pool shed where Pam was giving Drake a blow job, just moments prior. "Hope they got insurance " Leo joked as he and Alicia swam up to the group. Liam rolled his eyes taking not of their nude forms. "Where the hell are your clothes?" He held back a snicker. He wasn't three sheets to the wind drunk, he would have been more annoyed at the situation at hand.
"Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave…" Alicia began to sing. "This again?" Drake rolled his eyes. "Just sing along Walker." Pam kissed his lips.
"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" The group sang along, just as the fire company rushed in putting the shed out.
The following Monday Liam walked into the council meeting, shoulders back, head held high. The hushed whispers began to circulate the room as Liam cleared his throat. "Shall we begin?" After the meeting a young council member approached him. "Your majesty, please may I speak freely?" Liam nodded "of course Lord Nicholas. And its Liam."
"Liam. Why Is there a faded Flag on your face?" Liam hung his head and shook it, recalling the past weekend's antics. Sighing loudly, he lifted his head. "Nick. Have you ever been to America on the 4th of July?"
Tag List: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @laniquelove-blog @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @kennaxval @the-soot-sprite @hopefulmoonobject @emichelle @cgd03 @kate-mckenzie @mfackenthal @crookedslimecreatorpasta @jemrmax2love @sashatrr @ao719 @cocomaxley @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom
#cgw trr au#cgw trr#cgw squad#cordonians gone wild#liam x anitah#Leo x Alicia#rashad x genevieve#drake x pam#drake walker#liam rhys#leo rhys#maxwell beaumont#rashad domvallier#bastien lykel
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Welcome to the Family - Chapter 3
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Word Count: 2,151 (Total Word Count: 6,340) Read on AO3
Story Summary: Lance had been excited about his family taking in a foster kid, eager to get to meet his brand new little brother or sister, who would surely adore and idolize their super cool Big Brother Lance. What he got instead was a sullen, quiet, temperamental teenage housemate with a criminal record and a disastrous haircut.
Lance: hes here. car just pulled into the street
Pidge: Tell him hi from us.
Lance: he doesnt know u
Pidge: So that means we can’t be friendly?
Hunk: what’s he like?
Lance: idk hes not even thru the door yet. text u back soon
Lance shut off the screen of his phone and shoved it into his pocket as he got up to bound down the staircase where he’d been perched on the top step. “Rachel!” he called as he descended. “Keith’s here!”
“You don’t need to yell,” Rachel spoke up from where she’d been lounging across the couch in the front room. She sat up, closing her laptop and setting it aside before she stretched and looked over to where Lance had landed and was now trying to peer into the driveway through the frosted-glass window of the front door. “You spotted him?”
“Yeah, he’s getting out of the car now,” Lance answered, face still pressed to the glass.
“What does he look like?”
“Blurry.”
“Should have guessed. Step back from the door, would you, Lance? You’re gonna freak him out.”
Right as she said it the doorknob began turning, and Lance jumped back, narrowly avoiding being hit in the face by the door as it swung inward to usher in his broadly smiling mother. “Lance, Rach- oh, good, you’re both here,” she said. “You two ready to say hi to your new brother? Come on in, Keith, come meet the family. Well, two of the family.”
She stepped aside to make room for the other figure walking up the front steps, and Lance got his first good look at his new brother.
The first descriptor that crossed Lance’s mind at the sight of Keith was ‘emo’, but that wasn’t quite the right fit. The pale skin and black hair looked to be their natural tones, not makeup or hair dye, and he also didn’t have any jewelry or nail polish or decals on his clothes to indicate that he may have been going for that sort of aesthetic. He just had the colors right, what with the black of his tee shirt and scuffed shoes and jeans that looked to be growing too small on him, and the red of the red zip-up sweatshirt he wore over it even in the middle of August in Arizona.
He did, though, do a great job of pulling off that distinctly emo ‘don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t look in my direction, life is pain’ scowl that he wore across his face - a face which, with its smooth features and bold indigo eyes, could have been good-looking if it weren’t for the thick brown-pink mark slicing through one of his cheeks and the surrounding mane of hair that was so uneven it looked as if it had been cut with gardening shears.
Still, Lance had seen worse, and appearances could be deceiving; this could still be a great, fun guy to have around. So he kept up his smile as he said, “I’m Lance, nice to meetcha.”
Keith nodded silently in greeting, and did the same to Rachel when she introduced herself as well, but didn’t offer his own name in return. “So, uh,” Lance said, “Mamá said that you’re going into sophomore year too, yeah? So the two of us, we’re gonna be classmates as well as brothers. That’ll - that’ll be fun.”
Again Keith was silent, just shrugging in reply, and Lance frowned and turned to his mother. “¿Puede él hablar?” he asked her. Can he talk?
“Sí,” she answered. “Y él no habla español, así que no seas grosero.” Yes, and he doesn’t speak Spanish, so don’t be rude. A glance back toward Keith confirmed this, as his eyes were narrowed and darting back and forth between the two of them, brows bunched in confusion. Lance simply clicked his tongue, settling back with hands on his hips. There was nothing rude about speaking his own language in his own home.
“Now, Keith,” his mother continued, “Do you want me to give you a tour of the house first, or do you want to start unpacking your things?”
“Um, tour’s fine,” Keith mumbled, faint but still loudly enough for Lance to finally get to hear his voice. It was low and just a little raspy, although the rasp may just have been from the low volume.
“Excellent!” his mother said. “I could have Lance or Rachel drop you duffel into your room so you - ”
“No,” Keith said sharply, pulling his bag back and moving to grip the shoulder strap with both hands.
“Suit yourself,” she said with an easy shrug, as if there was nothing even remotely unusual or suspicious about that sort of response. “We’ve got the family room here, and you’re free to use the family Netflix account on the TV as much as you want, and there’s a Nintendo Playstation hooked up to the - ”
“Those are two different things, Mamá,” Rachel interrupted. “And we have an Xbox, which is neither of those.”
“Oh, well, whatever it is, if you want to play video games, you can use that. The dining room’s this way - mind that coat rack, dear, it tips easily, I keep saying that we need to get a new one, maybe hooks on the wall instead or something, just never do get around to it - and through here is the kitchen, I’ll show you where everything goes - ”
She guided Keith through the dining room, initially trying to put a hand on his shoulder to steer him, but simply leading the way touch-free after he grimaced and shrugged the hand off of him. Lance followed, idly pulling his phone from his pocket to see a handful of new texts from Pidge and Hunk asking for more details about Keith. He shot them a quick response.
Lance: hes quiet
He watched as his mother opened and closed drawers and cupboards one after another, showing Keith where they kept the cutlery, bowls, plates, canned goods, cereal, pots and pans, instructing him on what goes where in the fridge and demonstrating which burner on the stove didn’t work, all while Keith maintained that perpetual scowl, answering only with soft grunts, before adding:
Lance: and kinda grouchy
He shut his phone’s screen off and tagged along as his mother and Keith moved on to the home office and bathroom and then downstairs to the basement, waiting until the tour had made its way to the laundry room and his mother began explaining how their washer and dryer worked before looking at Pidge and Hunk’s two very different replies.
Pidge: Of course he’s grouchy, he just discovered he’s going to be living with YOU.
Hunk: He’s probably just nervous.
Lance made a face and texted back.
Lance: im a DELIGHT to live with jsyk. & hes def giving off sort of an emo vibe
Pidge: How emo?
Lance: what do u mean
Pidge: On a scale of 1-10.
Lance: u cant quantify emo
He nearly didn’t notice the laundry crash course wrapping up and his mother and Keith heading out the door of the laundry room, so he saved the texting for later and hastened to follow as they started upstairs toward the bedroom.
His mother didn’t give a thorough tour of the rooms, to Lance’s relief, just quick peeks inside and naming which room belonged to whom. “Excuse the mess,” she said when she opened Lance’s door. “I swear, mijo, you have more clothes on your floor than you wear in a year.”
“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. Honestly, his mother had once seen Pidge’s room when the Holts had had the McClains over for dinner; she should have forfeited all rights to complain about messes on that fateful night.
“And here’s your bedroom, Keith,” his mother said, reaching the door at the end of the hall and opening it to reveal the skeleton of Luis and Marco’s former room, now empty with bare surfaces on the dresser and desk and bookshelf from their long lack of occupancy. “Once you’re settled in we can do a bit of decorating to help it feel more homey, if you’d like. I mentioned that shopping trip we could take sometime soon, get some new things for you?” She glanced toward Keith’s duffel bag before asking, “Does this room work all right for you? You need anything?”
“I’m fine,” Keith said softly.
“That’s good, that’s good. Well, now that you’ve got the lay of the land, I’m going to get dinner started up. Veronica should be coming home any minute, and Manuel will definitely be home for dinner, so I’ll make sure they stop and stay hello when they show up. Lance, be a lamb and help Keith get his stuff unpacked and in their places, would you?”
“Sure, Mamá,” Lance replied as his mother sidled out the room. “There more bags in the car for me to bring in, or - ?”
“No, just the one.” Lance raised a brow, about to ask why Keith would need help unpacking just one bag, but his mother leaned in to whisper, “Talk to him, okay? Just make him feel welcome.”
That made more sense. Lance eased his way into the room as his mother left. Keith had already set his bag onto the bed and was removing a little stack of shirts from it. “You, uh, need any help with that?” Lance asked.
Keith scowled over at him. Which was fair; that stack of shirts probably weighed two pounds at most. “Ah, I just meant, you know where that stuff goes?”
“... The dresser?”
“Yeah. You - you got this, sorry.” Lance rocked on his heels as Keith moved toward the dresser, the latter still eyeing him cautiously. “So, uh,” Lance tried again, “Where you from?”
“Around,” Keith answered with a shrug.
Right. Foster kid. Probably moved around a lot. He was on a roll with stupid questions. “Well, uh, where are you from, like, most recently? Before here?”
Keith paused, frozen halfway through setting his clothes down in a dresser drawer, and it was several seconds before he quietly answered, “Holbrook.”
“Don’t think I’ve heard of it,” Lance said. “You like it there?”
This time Keith didn’t answer at all, instead simply slamming the dresser drawer shut and moving back to his bag. He fished into it and pulled out a toothbrush and comb. “Where’s the bathroom again?” he asked.
“Second door on the left,” Lance answered, and Keith turned to leave the room without so much as glancing at Lance.
Lance simply rolled his eyes and strolled over to the bed, where he sat and glance into the open duffle bag. He nudged a gray sweatshirt aside to see a number of balled-up pairs of socks and boxers, a faded stuffed hippopotamus, and a few CDs in cases scattered across the bottom of the bag. He tilted his head to look at the titles. John Mellencamp, The Clash, Blue Cheer, a Chuck Barry CD with a spiderweb of cracks across the plastic case. Lance picked up ‘Janis Joplin’s Greatest Hits’, examining the remains of the garage sale sticker still covering the singer’s face. “So you’re into the old-timey, rock, huh? Funny, I would have pegged you more for MCR or Linkin Park or - ”
He hadn’t noticed Keith’s footsteps thundering down the hall until the other boy was already in the room, practically shoving Lance off the bed and yanking the bag back toward him. “Hey!” Lance yelped, grabbing onto the bedpost to keep from slipping onto the floor.
“Why were you going through my stuff?” Keith snarled, pulling the bag back further.
“Wha- I dunno, I was just, you know, seeing if you had, like - like, any interests or anything, that’s all. Calm down, man.”
That was probably the wrong thing to say, because Keith’s glare just darkened further. “Don’t touch my stuff,” he growled.
“I’m sorry. Is it, uh, is it because of the hippo? You don’t have to be embarrassed, I sleep with a stuffed animal too, lots of people do.”
Keith huffed and turned away from him. “I can unpack by myself. You can leave.”
“Are you… are you sure you don’t wanna, like, hang out, chat a bit?”
The scowl that Keith leveled in his direction was as firm a ‘no’ as humanly possible. So Lance sheepishly straightened up and headed out of the room, Keith shutting the door firmly behind him.
With a sigh, Lance pulled his phone back out, turning the screen on to see that Pidge had proposed an essay’s worth of criteria to quantify emo onto a ten-point scale. Ignoring that for now, Lance started to text.
Lance: hey hunk remember when u said keith was gonna be a cool friendly guy who will love hanging out with me?
Hunk: yeah? why?
Lance: guess what, im starting to think u were wrong
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I feel so unbelievably stressed lately... I can’t wait to get out of this house. I love my family, ofcourse, but my 2 older sisters keep yelling at me for things i didn’t say or do. for instence, sense my mom has been sick I’ve been trying to take some responcibility... I’ve been doing the dishes... I wash the dishes in the sink then put them in the dish washer, then I unload the dish washer and repeat.
I’ve been doing this for a few weeks and a couple of days ago i had neglected to do the dishes one round because, I was actually feeling sick that day and had desided to take a bath to see if it would make me feel better... while i was in the bath the dish washer stopped and i guess someone else reloaded it but had neglected to rince the dishes properly before hand.
When i got out of the bath i saw that the dish washer was once again running and figured someone else had done that round for me so i set and waited for the dish washer to stop. When it did i went to unload it but found that the cups and spoons still had left over food on it (Thats why we rince the dishes before putting them in the dish washer.)
My sister was sitting at the table while this was happening and i desided to ask her about it so i said “someone else loaded the dishwasher before, did you see who?”
and she said “no, I dont mess with the dish washer.” so i said
“okay i just thought you may have seen who did it. whoever did it didn’t rince the dishes properly.” and i guess she got offended or something... i dont see the insult in the comment but apaerently my sister did so she said
“well, it wasn’t me. I dont do the dishes.” i noticed the tone she said it in and thought “okay so i guess this is a situation i should defuse.” and responded with
“okay i didn’t say it was you, all the women in this house are pretty picky aside form (Incert sister #2′s name) So i didn’t think it was you or mom, I just thought I’d bring it up in case you knew something. Ill ask dad, (sister #2) and (brother-in-law) about it later-”
and... she went stait to yelling at me...
“well it wasn’t (brother-in-law) because he doesn’t even touch the dishes and ALWAYS rinces them at his parents house! And i dont even touch the dishes! IDK how to work the dish washer!”
I kind of looked at her for a second before saying “well idk how (brother-in-law) acts at his parents house and sense nither of us where in this room he may hav-”
and then she was yelling again about how “(brother-in-law) doesn’t touch the dishes!” and “He’s picky too, so he would never!” i listened to her yelling for a bit to see if she’d let me talk but she wasn’t so... i yelled as loud as I could “HEY!” and she snapped her mouth shut, so i continued and told her “I wasn’t trying to insult you or your husband, if he did do it then he was trying to be helpful and simply didn’t know-”
“But he-” she tried to cut me off again but i didn’t let her and simply spoke over her to finish my senctince.
“IT was probably dad. I’ll ask him about it later.” I didn’t bring it up to anyone though and just continued to rince the dishes properly before putting them back in and turning the dish washer back on.
(I am awear that this has many misspellings and stuff... but at this point... im too tired to care.)
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my mom is home today and shes really pulling out all the stops, this morning she asked me if i wanted her to pick me up my tea and i was like yaaay yes thank you and she said to that oh, you’re good? as though i had said no to her? it wasnt even like she could misinterpret what i said i was so openly like yes please thank you heres my list of teas? and she kept talking as though i had said no and that was the reality of it but i put my tea list on top of my brother’s laundry which she was going to go do along with her own and shopping, this note is important cause she came back later to complain about it--but she refuses to get a washer and dryer at home and refuses to get the groceries delivered or go on any other day or send my brother to get them or let me order them usually, every once in a while she lets me and its like, here’s the kind of life we could be living but alas, like when im out of here itll be the life ill be living!!
like, so four weeks ago we got like a make your own pizza featuring local produce! and like that was too much effort for my mom so she didnt do that and i made use of the veg like im not letting really nice produce go back simply cause she didnt feel like the flow of time applies to her, well then three weeks ago (the next week) she brought like upscale but like cafeteria pizza bases from work and just left them in like a thin ziplock bag in the fridge near the front, well they were moldy two days ago so i tossed them which was sad, i had been having one every now and again cause i hate food going to waste but i knew it was one of those things she was going to start something over
(she bought some more stuff for it the second week but then went to grandpa’s/her dad’s house instead so like?) but like, so i threw them away cause they were getting moldy and then my mom was home from the afternoon to the evening and then to this morning, where she would have seen that they werent there as she has to pass them by either her eyes several times a day when she goes to grab a beer and they were right next to the water tank, so she’s pitching a huge fit about it and im like fine next time you can eat the moldy bread see what i care gfdgdf (she also got a jab in about how i didnt clean the rest of the fridge yet so why throw that away like,,i skim the fridge all the time maybe the two other people here can also do that) and she was like okay lets stop talking about it and i was like uh no your behavior towards me is poor and there’s something wrong with you if you don’t notice something this important to you was missing <-broadly and less explosive than that
then in a lot of dramatics she went out again and came back saying she found a substitute, but the thing is she left the groceries for me to put away ghfhfghfghfgh!!!! like she had put one thing away and it was the texas toast she was planning to use, but she didnt think id be in the freezer (she got duplicate coffee so i was putting that where that goes) so like, i saw it already and she was trying to act like thats what she went to go get, what she actually forgot was rice flour and she was like hiding the bag like a child would and i was like, mom, i saw that you had the toast already, and she was like oooo yeah i got it in case there wasnt going to be enough and thought it was way easier than rolling out (list of pizza dough steps) and baking the pizza, like so it loops all the way back to her feeling like aggressed by the farmer’s market blind bag we get gfdghfdhfdg
later i went to take a break (im organizing the hall closet when she came home and doing a check on the holiday lights) and have tea and cool down cause the interior house is warm (which she also turned on the heater this morning? its the same temp its been, heater cleaning and inspection isnt until the 19th so like yeah turn this dust laden wretched thing on have it blow super heated dust everywhere, i turned it off before it could really kick on), on the way to make tea she was like saying how much she wanted a side salad with the pizza and how a lettuce and spinach salad would be perfect like, and i was like well if there’s any lettuce in there its super old (by lettuce standards), she has a tone of voice she uses when she wants someone to conquer up something so she can be like put on airs bully about it but that would explain the random cucumber she got at the start of the month, it might be soup’d in the fridge by now i havnt gotten to the veg bin yet, idk if its like she processes time based on whims or if she just like builds these elaborate dramas
update: she was like so i see you have made ice and i was like ?? ?? and she asked if she could have some and i was like ?? but of course its ice?? idk what that was about but then shes like frantically thawing the meat that she could have taken out in the morning or the day before if she was actually thinking of making tonights meal and didnt just drool at the chance to start stuff, oh maybe she thought i made the ice to Catch her like i made the ice several days ago??
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