#so depression cherry by beach house …

[fragilediary-of-evren]

April 27th, 2024 - Pre-birthday depression

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These are my last hours being 15 years old. I was born at 23:47 after all.

I don't want to talk to my mother for the rest of the night. Every time I did it today it would all end bad. With her being angry at me or just making the whole situation uncomfortable.

We bought some new clothes. I got a striped t-shirt and a blue one with little rainbows, as well as two pairs of pants.

She basically said they look ugly on me. That I wear weird clothes and that they don't "flatter" me. I don't want to wear them now.

I don't understand my mother. And I know she doesn't understand me. Right now I hate her, but deep down I know that in a few minutes she will come back, hug me, and pretend that nothing happened.

I'm sick of it. I know she's tired, but I am, too. And it seems to be that I am not allowed to feel bad in any way.

I'm supposed to be happy. But I simply can't. I don't want to turn 16.

I stopped writing for a moment because my mother entered my room. It all happened exactly how I said it would be.

I really don't want to say anything else. It's too much. Recently I realized that there's no actual point in asking for help; therapy is expensive.

I know we are gonna be poor sooner or later. But she keeps saying everything is fine. It's not. I'm not that stupid.

I am not a child, no matter how much I think that and how I look like it.

I just want to sleep. I don't even want to eat anymore.

It's not gonna be a good day tomorrow.

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[thisdogpaystaxes]

i'm really high right now and i'm really happy i get to experience songs by beach house

how did i get so lucky to be alive in the same timeline as this kind of music?

[capacity2]

I’m really so glad I got to see beach house live during their depression cherry/thank your lucky stars era that’s still one of the most enchanting shows I’ve ever been to I think about it weekly

[tradraine]

Self-Care Ideas for Young Tradfems! ♡

In a modern age that believes in teaching young girls to be ‘girl bosses’ and ‘sexuality liberated’, it can become easy to be disillusioned/depressed and want to give up on your dream of finding your beloved husband. But, it’s very important to remember that before a girl can care for a family and spouse, she has to care for herself. As a young tradfem, here are some of the things I do to keep out of my disillusionment and to feel happy and feminine! ♡

((Also I apologize for poor English I’m not a native speaker))

Write down baby names, go to stores and look at all the adorable baby clothes and accessories

This had helped me keep my eyes on my goal of motherhood so much! It’s really nice to imagine the details of the wonderful godly family in your future.

Clean your bedroom daily and decorate it with your own feminine, aesthetic dream

This one is great for preparation to become a wife one day. Organizing up your personal space and decorating it to your liking not only shows you are ready to take care of a household, but that you have a feminine creativity.

Pray/take part in your religion

It can be anything from a rosary or a prayer before bed to volunteering at your Church. Absolutely any activity that brings you closer to God is an activity with meaning.

Bake sweets for the special people in your life

I’ve had so much fun with this one! As a tradfem, one of my duties one day will be to cook for my household, so knowing your way around the kitchen is an important skill for a woman to have! Besides, I love seeing the happy faces of my friends and family when I give them cookies or a cherry pie.

Babysit/take care of younger family members

This one is essential for a young lady wanting to become a housewife. I’m not at all an advocate for woman making money ((quite the opposite, actually)) but this is one way to make some extra money while staying true to your god-given purpose.

Take a bath or a shower at least once a day, brush your teeth, and wear deodorant/light body spray

This one may seem obvious, but it’s very important. Smelling and looking clean not only makes you more palatable to Christian men but gives your hair and skin a gentle, feminine glow.

Buy yourself one nice ((but still modest and traditional)) thing

This one can we tricky. You shouldn’t buy your self too much lest your life is filled with the sin of greed, but buying yourself a singular new necklace or that cozy sweater you’ve been wanting can make you feel really good.

Read some classic/conservative philosophy books

While I love listening to my favourite conservative podcasts and news programs, reading is a great way to relax and exercise your brain while learning about faith and tradition.

Take a walk/hike in a forest, beach, or other natural space

Not only is hiking good exercise for your body and brain, but seeing the wonderful world god created for us helps to feel closer to him.

Make a Pinterest board of your future home/dream wedding

This one is great for keeping your spirits up! It’s a great reminder of how lovely traditional aesthetics are and how a wonderful life is just around the corner.

Stop eating fast food/eat healthy/focus on weight loss

Being trim is a crucial part of being a future traditional wife. But eating healthy to stay thin, it not only shows that you have dedication to keep yourself looking well, it will help you fit into cuter clothes.

‘Honour thy mother and father’

Your parents are a gift from God; they carry the traditions and values that have shaped who you are. Honour them by cooking a meal for them, cleaning the house so they don’t have to, ect.

Make sure your wardrobe is modest and fits you well/prepare your clothes for the upcoming week

Every girl looks beautiful in a long skirt/dress. Go through your wardrobe, discard any immodest clothing and have fun making outfits for the days ahead.

Put on some light makeup

I should emphasize that you should only put on LIGHT makeup. God and your husband will love you for your natural beauty, so there’s no point in covering in up. I personally only use mascara, light eyeliner, colour-tinted chapstick and concealer, but I believe added a light blush or some naturally coloured lipstick is an ok addition.

Watch a movie that reinforces conservative values

Movies can awful when they push a radical feminist agenda, but not all movies are the same! There are still plenty of traditional tales about a princess getting swept off her feet by a traditional masculine man or someone on the wrong path who learns the importance of obeying Christ.

Knit something/sew something/croquet something/ modify your dresses using needle and thread

Not only is this hobby perfect for a traditional young lady, but it gives you a chance to show off your creativity and make wonderful gifts for the people you love or something lovely for yourself.

Make a cute rag-doll or teddy bear for a sweet little girl in your life

So many dolls in the modern day are overly sexualized, wearing tons of makeup and skimpy outfits, or look like men. Make a little girl in your life happy with a modest toy that’s a positive roll model.

Shave your legs, arms, and underarms

Modern feminism has pushed the message that body hair is ‘beautiful’, but this is blatantly untrue. No man would prefer a hairy, mannish pig over a well-groomed traditional lady, and most women feel more desirable ((because they are)) shaven.

Be early to bed, and early to rise

Getting enough rest is important for looking traditionally beautiful and healthy. Not only will you have more defined eyes, clearer skin, and a smaller waist line, but you will be left with enough energy to clean your room six times over.

Embrace your nations traditions

Research where your bloodline descends from and it’s traditions to practice. It’s our job as traditionalists to keep the bright minds and beliefs of our ancestors alive; they would be so proud of you for following in the path God designed! ♡

Make sure your nails are well-groomed and not too garish

Men aren’t attracted to fire truck-red monster claws, or stubby, bitten dirt coated nails; it’s a sign you don’t care enough for yourself. If your hands look pleasant, then their ready to bake bread, change diapers, and wear that wedding ring.

Always trust in God, even when it’s difficult or seems pointless

As a young woman without a husband yet, it may seem like God is against you, but that’s not true at all! God has chosen the perfect man for you, now all you have to do is have faith and stay submissive and pure for your future beloved! ♡

[olipeaksforever]

10 Albums that remind me of Twin Peaks:

Preacher's Daughter - Ethel Cain

Dummy - Portishead

Depression Cherry - Beach House

It'll End In Tears - This Mortal Coil

So Tonight That I Might See - Mazzy Star

Disintegration - The Cure

Songs of Faith and Devotion - Depeche Mode

Scott 4 - Scott Walker

Odyssey and Oracle - The Zombies

Floating Into The Night - Julee Cruise

Feel free to add more in the notes!

[nightmareofmenses]

Ok @sexyorc convinced me to post 6 albums I’m listening to even though!!! It’s just beach house because I’m in an obsessive loop and if I had to throw in another I have really gotten into Fleetwood Mac recently so that’s it babie!!!

Any mutuals who see this and wanna do it well do it!!

Albums are Once Twice Melody / Depression Cherry / Thank Your Lucky stars / 7 / become / Rumours 🩶

[newps]

Depression cherry is so quintessentially 2015. Thank you beach house

[tiddie]

top 5 songs and/or albums?

songs are too hard so im just gonna name my fav albums: rihanna-unapologetic, ethel cain-preachers daughter, lady gaga-the fame, beach house-depression cherry, son feci bisiklet-sistemik

[ashstfu]

ASH MY DEAR i promise i’m not copying you, i want to get to know you :) 💕

what is your favorite song (at least right now), your favorite season, and if you could smell like anything, would it be?

kisses!!!! 😘

shut upp im kissing u right now 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩!! currently obsessed w this song called on top by sidi (thanks to my beloved mutual @stuckinapril for recommending it to me) and also want 2 mention my current favorite album depression cherry by beach house (i love every song from that album. it is like a best friend to me 😚) my favorite season is summer, always. but summer 2023 was so boring for me so im so excited for fall and cozy weather and hot drinks.. hoodies and fuzzy socks.. sitting by the window curled up w a good book etc etc 🍂🧸☕📚! hmm 🤔 if i could smell like anything for the rest of my life it would be vanilla + tobacco :) or cocoa butter!

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

top five albums?

even better--i made a new topsters. because narrowing it down to 5 is hard.

i didn't let myself repeat artists otherwise there would be more goats (tallahassee especially but beat the champ is also up there lol) on here

album listing under the cut:

hospice - the antlers (ultimate crying album)

all hail west texas - the mountain goats (combines classic goats lo-fi with their more contemporary lyrical sensibilities. great to yell along with)

the money store - death grips (it's as good as every annoying music critic says it is)

dragon new warm mountain i believe in you - big thief (one of two very recent albums on here. adrienne lenker is a god.)

the age of adz - sufjan stevens (maybe not his best album objectively, but the subject matter hits hard.)

bury me at makeout creek - mitski (my first mitski album back in 2014, and still my favorite. defined my teenage years.)

igor - tyler, the creator (no one does it like tyler)

nebraska - bruce springsteen (along with purple rain, the two albums my mom played for me as a kid that have stuck around the longest. sorry prince i just have atlantic city stuck in my head rn!)

twin fantasy - car seat headrest (either version. will toledo and i are from the same general area so i'm automatically biased towards him and then he makes this fucking. gay opus.)

burn pymalion!!! a better guide to romance - the scary jokes (did things to my head when i was 18/19/20 and does things to my head still.)

comfort eagle - cake (GOOD ASS ALBUM WITH HORNS ON IT)

fetch the bolt cutters - fiona apple (c'mon)

the glow pt 2 - the microphones (other ultimate crying album)

dirty computer - janelle monáe (insane album. cohesive and beautiful. i love janelle's older stuff and i love age of pleasure but dirty computer is just fucking out of this world.)

e•mo•tion - carly rae jepsen (see my comment about death grips)

69 love songs - the magnetic fields (kind of cheating bc it's so long but. what can i say. it's a good album.)

10,000 gecs - 100 gecs (the newest album on here. i don't remember an album i've had as much fun listening to as this one. fuck all gec haters.)

depression cherry - beach house (best album to get high on the substance of your choice (including life if you don't partake in anything) to)

trick - alex g (alex g good)

my cute fiend sweet princess - kimya dawson (who else had their world rocked by the juno soundtrack at a young age)

remain in light - talking heads (along with stop making sense, which felt like cheating, the talking heads record we had in the house)

flood - they might be giants (tmbg is just plain good at what they do)

the crane wife - the decemberists (C'MON)

reddishness - girls rituals (not for everyone, but it hits for me. it might hit for you.)

pet sounds - the beach boys (it came down to this or blond by frank ocean lol. but i feel like you don't get blond without pet sounds. so.)

[prairiies]

space song by beach house will always b so iconic…. i love the whole album, ‘depression cherry’ sm

[aly-eva-princess]

09/30/23

Doing well for myself today. No drugs, went out paid my rent. And packed for vacation tomorrow. I'm doing only pajamas. 💗 It's gonna be great!

Sitting in an all you can eat buffet wearing star and heart pajamas.

Going to the movies wearing a glow in the dark onesie.

Chilling upstairs in the bunk bed fort with cherry print pajamas.

I've got plansssss!!!

Not too stressed about the waterpark resort closing a few slides during my stay either. I'm okay with only going down to hit the wave pool. I'll get to strap on a lifejacket and just let the water take me. X'D I still can't swim.

I feel semi-alive, my sleep isn't fixed and there's a few more things I need to do. Like my braid my hair and wash up properly. But I'll get around to those before 10am tomorrow.

This is the cut for me rambling!!!~

Also if it feels like I vacation frequently...I do.

Admittedly if I stay in the house my depression goes full blown. And I am also in recovery for agoraphobia. So I try to have a big trip planned once a month. Or either every other month. Just to save funds to be able to do more while I'm out.

When I was a child, I stayed indoors to the point I never went to school. I slept, read books, wrote fanfics, and went cosplay shopping online. I would always cover the windows with blankets. And sleep inside my closet. I never knew rather it was day or night.

That was my everyday for like 17ish years.

Then one day I realized....I actually felt terrible. Soon after that I took my first ever trip to the beach. And realized what I was missing. I needed sunlight in order to feel alive. So I started doing things, anime conventions were my bread and butter up until 2020. It was my surefire way to get out of the house.

Now though~ I like to go out to eat, walk around the mall. Go to amusement parks, hotel resorts, trampoline houses, literally anything that gets me outside under the sun. And can entertain my autistic ass is a win/win.

Sadly though I don't quite have enough money. O3O So I do this dumb thing where I, keep planning vacations and reject basic needs so I can go out and live.

In November, I'll be taking a week long trip back to my home city of Philadelphia. As a result I've paid 70$ towards my rent. And I will be saving all the rest for toll booths & hotels.

What about food Aly?????

What the hell are you gonna eat?

Q~Q I don't get food stamps anymore so not a god damn thing. Unless I'm offered something, I probably won't eat in the first week of November.

[charlottan]

If you're taking music recs have you ever listened to beach house? A good album to start with is depression cherry but my favorite is bloom

ohh yeah love beach house <3 never really think to listen to them but I very much have in the past. Favorite song has probably gotta be wedding bells it's so cute <3

[the59er]

26 - 30 Jun 2023

26th Jun 2023, Monday Listening: Layla, UMO

Quite happy knowing that this week is just a 3-day work week. Also ran this fun poll:

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27th Jun 2023, Tuesday Listening: When You're Gone, The Cranberries

WIO. Lone lunk. Went on a lunk drive to BV. Post-work meet up with 2121 but I genuinely cant recall where we had our dins.

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28th Jun 2023, Wednesday Listening: Become, Beach House

Had depression cherry naps throughout the day. I hate it when this happens, but it happens. And it happened.

-

29th Jun 2023, Thursday - Selamat Hari Raya Haji! Listening: Only Wanna be with You, Hootie & the Blowfish

Siblings came over in the morning. Left to No. 21 for some genuine, homemade nasi kerabu lovin. Thankful.

Im grateful and nervous at the same time.

We will never know what will happen. I am just praying for a positive outcome, always. This feeling is extremely foreign. I also always feel that I am not good enough for anything and anyone but, I try.

We went to yush as a nightcap :)

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30th Jun 2023, Friday Listening: Torn, Natalie Imbruglia

We had early dins at my old yush. But I cant remember if we stopped by anywhere else before that (aside from the usual yush). But I do remember developing a sudden cold and started to continuously sneezing. Ugh.

After dins, decided to show zuls 5 and I was genuinely surprised to see the 5th building up & running! So cute. Tried out the gelato.

However, I came home sick (presumably from the flu + gelato combo, lol)

--

If I were to sum up my June.. it was mildly fun. I got to visit new places (i.e. riwayat & kleptocrat) and re-visit my old yushes. Thank you, June.

[goatpaste]

If you skip to about 3 minutes until the end of “Irene” there’s a bonus track! (The song is called “wherever you go” and you can find a version of it that’s not attached to 9 minutes of silence on beach houses album “b-sides and rarities” ) I love beach house so so much and for very excited seeing it on my dash

OK SO THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

but when i skipped around and didnt hear anything so sdjkhgkj maybe my spotify just straight up broke <333

buT UGH yeah no i love beach house, one of the VERy few bands i like nearly all the music of, the depression cherry album was the first one i ever heard and i do like every song on that track for sure, i had it on REPEAT for weeks when i first heard it. its sO attached to the video game echo to me because i played it alongside binging their music