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writings-of-a-crazy-lady · 4 years

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Invisible Ties

Word Count: 2,249

Chapter 14

My fingers glided across the ivory, the simple melody that I knew encasing me in a fantasy world. I was lost in my mind, unaware of my surroundings or those that came and went. I had a few human “maids” that would often check on me, asking if I needed any water or food. But I was entranced in the song, humming the words that I had practiced over and over again in school when I was able to attend.

Music was always an escape for me. Always a way for me to slowly lose myself, forget my troubles and pain. Even when I was nothing in my mind, in the world of song, I was something. I could sing away my troubles, my broken heart or soul. I was able to disappear and become something. Prove all of my bullies and cruel mother wrong in just a few minutes.

I heard the door open to the room, but my fingers did not stop the melody as I allowed my hands to move across the keys. I never allowed the words to fall from my lips, merely humming the tune until I felt hands touch my shoulders. I quickly stopped playing the piano, allowing the unfinished notes to ring in the air that left me feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Yes?” I looked up, spotting the crimson gaze of Marcus.

“You seem troubled, little one.”

“Is it that obvious?” I sighed, scooting over to allow Marcus a chance to sit on the bench with me. He took the hint, sitting close to me. I had closed my eyes, but I could feel his concerned gaze upon my face, as if he was searching for an easy answer to his many questions.

“Not obvious, mia amore. I can feel the disturbance. It is slight,” he quickly corrected when I looked at him, my immediate discomfort of the others knowing that I was unhappy showing. “But none the less there.”

“I guess I can’t keep it a secret, can I?” I sighed heavily. Aro could easily discern it if my power did not block him and now Marcus seemed to feel our connection and could sense if something was wrong. All that is left is for Caius to have some secret ability at discerning my emotions and then it would be a losing battle to deal with my discomfort alone.

“Never keep secrets from us. If anything, then you can tell me whatever is bothering you. I do not judge, little one.”

“Why do you keep calling me that? Little one? Do I seem small to you?” I tried to change the subject, distract him somehow, but Marcus was as attentive as ever. His eyes gave that much away.

“I am much taller than you,” he pointed out, reminding me how short I was. I nodded before sighing again, glancing down at my hands before staring straight at a wall. I wasn’t sure how to tell him. How to explain my discomfort at what had transpired recently. After my panic attack at the pool, I spent the rest of my evening contemplating everything since I spent much of it alone. And being alone was apparently dangerous since I overthought everything. Every little detail of my life, my body, my hobbies…. All of it. And honestly, I was second guessing their attraction or their faith in me. Which was easy since my confidence was non-existent and the Volturi had a high level of it.

Still, I found myself unable to form the words, much less look at him. How would he feel if I told him that I had zero faith in them? That their affections could not be true? Marcus would probably feel hurt more than anything. Something I didn’t want him to feel. But I couldn’t help this doubt, no matter how much I wish I could.

A soft melody began to play, immediately gaining my attention as I turned to look at my partner. It was a tune I did not expect Marcus to know, yet he played it none the less. Long fingers glided across the ivory keys as I found myself hearing the words in my mind. It wasn’t a popular broadway musical, in fact, it flopped quite horribly. It didn’t live up to the expectations of its predecessor but one particular song always stuck with me…

“~Who knows when love begins? Who knows what makes it start? One day it’s simply there, Alive inside your heart.”

I started the tune, the words quick to fall from my lips. I didn’t realize I had gotten his attention, not seeing how Marcus’ gaze focused on me. He just continued the melody as I sang the song, the words meaning something to me.

It was simply about love. How it ensnares those around them. Love was a mysterious emotion, never knowing how it begins or ends, if it ends at all. And the fact that it can cause you great pain and lonely… Love itself was a confusing thing. It could bring happiness and destruction all at the same time. And in the end, it still endures. Even through all the breakups, there was always a little bit of love left.

During the song, as I allowed the music to consume my everything, I had allowed my eyes to close once again. My mind emptied of all my worries, every single thought slowly ceasing in my mind until nothing but a blank slate was there. Just the words of the song and the emotions I was feeling. And during that time, an audience began to form. Just 2 individuals, but still, an audience nonetheless. Something I wasn’t quite use too…

The melody surrounded me, my voice carrying through the room. Marcus never once missed a beat, keeping up with me as I hit the climax of the song, following the notes until I was able to reach the end of the song. And I couldn’t help but ponder on the words for a few seconds more as he finished the melody, allowing the tune to ring in the air as if it was a thick blanket surrounding us. Love truly was a strange concept. To appear, even when you least expected it. Doubtful anyone in the world could understand it. Especially surrounded by twinkling vampires.

“Brava! Brava!” estatic clapping forced my eyes to open, my whole body immediately standing to attention as I finally realized that it wasn’t just Marcus and I in the room alone. It took me a few seconds to finally realize that it was Aro doing the clapping, Caius not at boisterous but seemed quite impressed with my impromptu performance.

“E’stato magnifico, il mio amore,” Aro gushed over me, clasping his hands together. “Truly marvelous. You have such an enchanting voice.”

“Indeed, much like the siren we claimed,” Caius agreed. I found myself blushing, rubbing my cheeks to dull what I could of the red.

“It’s nothing really,” I tried to pass off the praise, the idea making me far more uncomfortable. But I could tell they didn’t want to pass it off, trying quickly to continue the compliments. Even when my stance turned to me hugging myself, forcing a fake appreciative smile on my face.

“Aro, enough,” a sudden snap from Marcus made him stop, the low growl not something I expected from my gentle giant. I had to look up at him to make sure he wasn’t angry, but I was merely greeted with a calm look. One that hid a small bit of worry underneath. But the compliments ceased, Aro and Caius sharing a very confused look. They didn’t speak, at least, not at an interval I could hear. I mean, they could be sharing some telepathic language that I am not aware of… right?

“Forgive me, I’m just not use to attention or praise. Truth is, I’m use to being exactly what I am good at, and that’s being invisible,” I started, knowing now that I had their attention. Truth was, I was debating with telling them about my past. I knew it would be difficult to explain, but Aro was right in a way. Perhaps one of them knew exactly what it was like. They were thousands of years old. Lived through a time that I could never fully understand myself. So perhaps someone understood.

“I grew up in a very chaotic life. My father abandoned us before I was born. Mom held some hope he would come back but he never did. And mom and I could never see eye to eye. She hated me. Hated that I existed and took away the one person she loved. We often lived in the poorest and darkest parts of town,” I paused, picking at a spot on my shirt. It took me a second to gather my thoughts in order to continue. “It was easier I suppose. Mom often performed sexual favors to get out of paying rent or if she was short. She drank a lot. Got into some heavy drugs. There was hardly any food in the house so I scraped by with what I could get ahold of. Mom, of course, never wanted to really see me out and about so I had to sneak around to avoid her.”

“I see,” Marcus’ voice held a sad note, his eyes void of any light that I was used to seeing. He probably saw the line that connected me to her. He had explained his gift once to me. So, it was only logical. I’m sure it didn’t look all that pretty either. Probably frayed and merely connected by a single thread.

“Yeah. It’s like I told the Cullens, I saw a lot of red eyes where I lived. Ran into a group that I guess activated my ability because they tried to attack me. But I disappeared on them.”

“Do you remember them at all?” Aro’s voice held a bit of retribution in it, my eyes finally connecting with his. I guess my ability blocked out that part of my life because I could tell this was news to him.

“I could recognize them if I saw them. But not off the top of my head,” I answered honestly. Aro nodded only once, sharing a look with Caius as if he could deduce anything.

“Rogues. They frequent the less fortunate areas. High crime rates, missing persons- any attacks can go unnoticed and unsolved by law enforcement,” Caius shook his head. “We cannot fault them for that. Or we would have to fault ourselves for not finding her.”

It only took me a minute to realize what Caius meant, knowing then that Aro held some animosity toward the ones that attacked. Which was odd. I figured Caius would be the one to throw some sort of fit about them. Not Aro.

“Alessandra,” a soft sigh made me look at Caius, the blond vampire having some sort of understanding in that moment. It took a lot for me to not bolt when he held his hands out. I didn’t know if I disappointed him yet I couldn’t feel that coming from him either. Caius, to my surprise however, didn’t rush me. It was as if he knew something the others didn’t. Something about me. Or about my situation.

“You do not need to blame yourself for anything that had happened to you. I can see it in your eyes,” those words made me stiffen. Aro and Marcus did as well. Which surprised me once again. I didn’t know what to think of those words. Perhaps the shock came from it being Caius, the most volatile one of the bunch. Yet he was not rushing, not snapping at me… what was going on actually?

“Masters!”

All three turned toward the doorway, Marcus quick to shelter me in his robes as they addressed the one who had bothered us. It wasn’t one of the normal guard, I could easily tell that. This one was probably of the lower ranks, though it made me wonder for a brief moment how large their army was. I mean, vampires couldn’t die of natural causes, so an endless army was possible to build.

“What is it?” the familiar snap of the blonde was back, though he was standing closer to my form. Aro had done the same as well, each standing unbearably close to my form as if they couldn’t trust the new comer. Again, made me wonder…

“Multiple visitors have arrived, requesting your presence,” came the news, the young vampire swallowed thickly, her focus quick to snap to me.

“Tell them it can wait. We are busy,” Caius’ words were not kind as he turned to face me. But his features did not match his words, as if he was hiding his displeasure from me.

“I understand, Masters, but-“

“But what?”

“One of them has asked to see Lady Alessandra,” she paused, bowing deeply before adding, “by name.”

“Who would ask for me? No one knows I’m here aside from the Cullens,” I countered, suspicious by the situation. No one knows but them. They were the only ones who mattered anyways.

“I am not sure, my lady. But she claims,” the vampire paused, again unsure of what else to say. At least until Caius snapped again, peering over his shoulder toward her. And that was when she uttered a single sentence that made my body go cold with shock and horror.

“She claims to be your mother.”

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naturepointstheway · 4 years

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Frozen - Domestic Assassin (Crack AU) Masterpost

This is a Masterpost of all the fanfiction I’d written (all on Tumblr) based in @ultranos’ Domestic Assassin crack AU which was hilarious for a fairly good-sized group of us! And from what I”ve seen in my notifications, people are still enjoying and finding fics of mine in this AU even to this day, which is great!

I’ve basically dug into my previous fanfiction pages and pulled them out year by year, so because it’ll be way too much work to try and arrange everything by title, I just went by year. At least Tumblr keeps the links when I copy and paste.

Since there are so many, you’ll find them under the cut. Enjoy!

Pre-2016

Air Mattress Prompt

An exhausted Anna returns home from a hot night with Kristoff only to accidentally make her sister fly off the air mattress when she flops down on it for a sleep.

“Am I supposed to be alarmed by the moon tonight?” prompt

Elsa is so exhausted she gets confused between the sun and moon apparently.

“Can we please stop fighting and talk about the koala in your room?”

Elsa adopted a koala, much to Anna’s exasperation.

“Can you pull this fake cobweb across the door?” Halloween prompt

Anna wants to play a prank on Elsa...

Cell Block Sniper (M - violence and strong language)

Yes. Yes. It’s a crossover. A crossover between “Cell Block Tango” song from Chicago and this AU.

“Do you realise what this means?” “That you’re a really bad shot?”

Elsa is NOT having the best of time trying to instruct a new trainee.

Domestic Assassin AU prompt: Hans’ POV (pre-reveal)

Hans has a visit from Elsa when he dumps Anna.

“Don’t touch that!” (Healthcare writing prompt, Snow Sisters)

Elsa was bound to fall out of a tree at some point and end up in hospital. Anna takes care of her.

Elsa and Weselton prompt

Elsa refuses to let Weselton in the door.

Eyes That Glisten

Anna knows how to persuade Elsa to do whatever she wants.

“God you’re such a grumpy bags in the morning aren’t you?”

Elsa is not a happy camper after a long night where everything just goes wrong. “Holy shit. Most realistic Dementor costume ever.” Halloween prompt

Turns out, Elsa just looks like that most of the time.

“I can’t help being a geek about my vital signs!” prompt (Elsarik)

A crossover between another AU (Shardsverse)

“I don’t think I should tell you what we’re dressed as.” (Halloween Prompt)

Somebody think of the children!

“I dropped my cookie :’(”

Elsa cries when she drops her cookie.

“I feel like a T-Rex”

Anna is too lazy to just grab the goddamn stepladder and get the jam herself.

“I wish I could drive you out of my life with a sword!” (Hans and Anna, prompt)

Anna is NOT a fan of Hans...

“Maybe you should go as an assassin. Oh wait, you already are one.” (Halloween prompt)

Anna is a sarcastic little sister to Elsa.

“No one unfollows like Gaston!”

Anna overhears Gaston boasting about how he unfollowed someone because of a disability. She is not happy.

Ruined Dinner Party

After an hour of waiting for her sister to come to the party, Anna finally spots her with “ketchup” all over her top.

Part 2 of “Ruined Dinner Party”

Of course it wasn’t ketchup. Duh. Anna is NOT HAPPY.

Sleepyhead (drabble, Snow Sisters)

Elsa, going to the kitchen for midnight munchies, spots Anna sprawled on a couch, textbooks all around her.

“So. Many. Triangles. Help me here!”

Anna, not being a maths-y person, gets frustrated with geometry, and Elsa offers to help.

“So you’re going as yourself for Halloween.” Halloween prompt

Elsa is not keen on dressing up as Halloween.

“Tell our parents my Tumblr URL and I swear I will make your death look like an accident” prompt.

Elsa practically threatens Anna when the latter demands to explain her Tumblr URL (of course she quickly forgives her little sis.)

“That mask is all kinds of creepy. I like it.” Halloween prompt

Elsa practically shits herself when Anna scares her while wearing a terrifying mask.

Things you said at 4am prompt

Anna gets a call at 4am on her phone from Elsa, who accidentally sniped the wrong guy..

Those Poor Birds

Elsa mistakes a pair of birds’ mating antics as fighting, much to Anna’s amusement.

“Wait, you’re yelling at a movie?” (Snow Sisters, writing prompt)

Elsa is very confused to find that Anna’s yelling from the lounge is at a movie. Not at an invader.

“Was it really necessary to shoot my pumpkin carving?” (Halloween prompt)

Anna is NOT happy when Elsa decides to use her pumpkin carving for shooting practice.

“What do you mean it’s a sunset…?” prompt

Elsa wakes up only to find that it’s already after sunset, not sunrise.

“What the hell? You gave out alcoholic chocolate to trick-or-treating kids?!” (Halloween prompt)

Anna discovers that her German chocolates had been opened by Elsa, who’d handed them out to kids.

“Where did you leave the spare copy of that book?” (Elsarik DA!verse, prompt)

Crossing over with another writer’s AU with her OC, Alarik. Elsa can’t find that one specific book she needs, and she’s sure Alarik has it.

“You once asked me what I’d do if I had only one day left.” prompt

Anna will most definitely NOT be spending that final day of her life with Hans.

“You did what?!” prompt (Elsa and Kristoff)

Elsa does not appreciate Kristoff’s concern over her having WAY too many cats for one house.

“You mean a line segment.” prompt

Elsa is a huge geometry nerd, even waiting in line for takeaways.

“You should go as an assassin. Oh wait. You already are one.” prompt

Another one where Anna suggests Elsa goes as an assassin for Halloween, only to be all “oh wait, you are one.”

2016

Accidental shooting

Elsa accidentally shoots someone she did not mean to shoot in a library’s basement.

Amuse Me

Elsa’s having one of those blah days and Anna’s there with bad puns all ready to go.

“Bittersweet and Strange” (not based on a prompt)

Elsa explains exactly how she likes her coffee to Anna. Turns out Elsa is also a huge fan of marmite.

“Can’t I at least take this baby koala home?”

Anna, no, you cannot take a koala home from Australia, no matter how cute it is.

Cat Gallery (not based on a prompt)

Kristoff discovers Elsa’s huge photo album of her cats.

“Did you lose your main point…”

Anna hears something about money and bills and wait what now.

“Do nurses ever fall asleep on the night shift?”

Anna visits Elsa in hospital and inevitably someone has to wonder this. Elsa’s adorbs when she’s pouty and Anna can’t help but annoy her on this count.

Fight Me

One sister challenges another to a fun boxing game.

“How did you get these bruises?”

A crossover with another writer’s canon OC, Alarik (”Elsarik”) where he asks how she got some bruises while on the job.

“How many cats are in bed with you?”

Anna marvels that there are nine cats in bed with Elsa.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to have the whole packet at once.”

Do not eat a whole bag of coffee. Do not.

I Have Found My People (not based on a prompt)

Elsa has discovered that certain Scandinavian countries drink the most coffee in the world and wants to migrate there right now.

“I know you don’t want this but it’s for your own good…”

Kristoff is rightly concerned when he finds that Elsa had thirty cups of coffee in 48 hours. Do not do this at home.

“I, uh, kinda dropped it in the water.”

Elsa calls Anna to tell her there’s an emergency: she dropped her wallet in the sea and all the fish now have her personal information.

“I want a Venusian day…”

Elsa tries to explain to Anna why she would not want to live on Venus. Anna doesn’t give a fuck. More hours in the day what’s not to love about that?

Of Cat’s Paws and Adopting Stellar Systems (not based on a prompt)

Elsa is enthralled by a photo of the Cat’s Paw Nebula she has found on the laptop.

Of Monkeying Around and Going Ape (not based on a prompt)

Anna comes home to discover that Elsa has adopted a monkey that had been neglected by its owner. Even Anna is almost (I said, ALMOST) tempted to keep the monkey but her common sense reigns.

“Oh so you were in my bed this whole time?” (nsfw)

Dontcha hate when you’re in the middle of coitus and your goddamn cat has to interrupt you? (Elsarik, with another Frozen writer’s (@patricia-von-arandel) OC for Elsa)

“Once we start tickling, we can’t stop!” (nsfw)

Another steamy one with an old abandoned OC of mine (Jannike), where they find themselves having a quickie while the boss is away.

Rubbish Day (not based on a prompt)

Anna is horrified to find a rubbish bag gone and trails of what suspiciously looks like blood leading outside. Turns out some meat thrown in there leaked inside.

“The best way to get rid of your ex…”

Anna didn’t think that Hans Westerguard would ever end up on Elsa’s targets to “take care of”. Until he does.

The One Time Elsa Caught Anna “Studying” (not based on a prompt)

Anna uses the mirror in the bathroom to practice distinguishing teeth for a medical exam. Elsa suggests alternatives.

“What is this owl doing in our bathroom?”

Of course Elsa would adopt an owl and want to keep it in the bathroom. Of course.

“Who dances in the rain anyway?”

Elsa comes home to discover Anna dancing in the rain.

“Why is there an otter in our kitchen?”

Anna comes home to find that Elsa has “adopted” an otter from a “client”. As you do.

“Why would you wish to be at a backpackers?”

Elsa and Alarik (Shards AU, Elsarik) decide to stay at a backpackers together for some private time.

“Yes, yes the cold doesn’t bother you…”

Anna is not impressed with Elsa standing in the snow when she has a major cold.

2017

The Blood of White Men (not based on a prompt)

As Elsa’s favourite song goes, he had it comin’ all along.

Is the Earth Broken? (not based on a prompt)

Elsa is confused about why the day she thought it was today...actually isn’t. She convinces herself the Earth has somehow broked.

“It won’t be high tide you said…”

Elsa needs to learn that reading yesterday’s newspaper’s high tide times is not helpful.

Kittens on Saturn (not based on a prompt)

Elsa hopes there’s actual giant kittens on Saturn after seeing a graphic manipulation on an astronomy news site.

Of Singing Humpback Whales and Rock Trolls

Kristoff visits Elsa in hospital while Anna’s busy with other things. It...does not go as expected. Poor Kristoff.

“Proboscis Monkeys look ridiculous…”

Anna’s exasperation at Elsa rescuing a Proboscis monkey is still not so great that she can’t help but wonder what would happen if you honked their nose. Anna NO.

“She’s going to kill you.”

Kristoff knows his days are numbered when he spills carrot juice all over Elsa’s brand new rifle. Uh oh.

“There’s a perfectly good reason for all these kittens.”

Turns out Elsa decided to adopt some kittens left on the side of the road when they’re already over-run with cats.

“This is extreme, even for you.”

Elsa is so addicted to her coffee she’s begun pouring them into wine bottles, as you do.

2018

Elsa brings home a parrot

Anna discovers that Elsa has “rescued” a very large, very loud parrot from one of her, ahem, “clients”.

Elsa’s Back Up Cat, Mushu

Anna discovers one of the cats apparently reading a book, and much to her consternation, Elsa explains he’s for back up.

“Oh what a circus!” photo prompt

Anna takes her still-bewildered-after-five-coffees sister to the circus. This may or may not turn out to be a great idea.

#Frozen #Domestic Assassin AU #DA!verse #Frozen DA!verse

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yayeetsonny · 4 years

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Dancing In The Dark~Lindsey Horan x Male reader

prompt: Lindsey and Male reader are quarantined together, they’re in a bit of a rut. Romantic dinner, and dancing fixes everything.

Requested by: @zestybiscuitanon

Y/N PRO//

It’s been 8 weeks since the start of the quarantine. The first 3 weeks were a walk in the park and my girlfriend Lindsey Horan and I were more in love than ever, We relished in the time we got to spend with each other and all the new things we were learning about each other. But then things shifted, we started arguing more often and by the time week 6 came around we were eating meals in silence, not knowing what to talk about anymore and having to take consistent days of space for ourselves. Now we weren’t going to break up by any means… at this point but if we wanted to make it work we need to find a way out of this rut we’ve found ourselves in.

“Y/N?” Lindsey called out, coming into our room looking at me hesitantly

“Yeah, Linds?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to play FiFA with me?”

“Ummm… maybe later okay? I’m a little busy right now, sorry.”

As soon as I said that I regretted it as I watched her face fall but she did her best to put on a fake smile as she nodded and left the room. I would have said yes if I knew we wouldn’t play in absolute silence and stay sitting a whole couch a part.

“I’m a little busy right now.” What? That’s a lie, idiot! I know lying to her wasn’t the best idea and I could tell that I had hurt her feelings but I wasn’t really sure how I could make up for it now. I just flopped down on our bed frustrated by my inability to be honest, but eventually I got up and went to the desk we had in the room across the hall, sitting down I pulled up a notepad. My best ideas, romantic or not come to me when I write things down.

I started to brainstorm romantic dates I could plan to make up for the last few weeks, I knew it would be hard because we couldn’t really leave the apartment unless we needed to get food or go to the bank but I figured I could still pull this off.

“Romantic movie marathon?… no she’s probably sick of tv.”

“Pie eating contest?… That’s not romantic or a good idea.”

“ Nerf gun war?… Not romantic enough.”

“Walking Ferguson?… We already do that everyday.”

“Ughh, this is impossible.” I said to no one but myself.

“What’s impossible?” Lindsey said, taking me by surprise.

I quickly closed the notepad that had “Date ideas” written at the top in big letters, threw it across the room and tried to act as “natural” as possible.

“Uh, Oh… Nothing honey, I was just working on something for my boss.” I said nervously

“Okay? Why are you being so jumpy?”

“Me, jumpy? pfft, I dunno what you’re talking about.”

I nearly fell out of my chair as I had put my feet up on the desk in my bid to look calm.

“Alright then, I’ll leave you to it then.”

Once again she left looking upset and slightly concerned. Wow… smooth Y/N, real smooth. I thought. I picked up the notepad and once again went back to brainstorming ideas. It was a lot harder than I was anticipating but after what felt like forever I finally got an idea I knew she would love. I ripped out the page that had my plan on it and went back to our room to start getting ready. When I was freshly showered and changed I went out to the living room to find it empty and a note on the counter.

“Y/N,

I took Ferguson for a walk, figured you were too busy to come with. Be back soon.”

-Lindsey

Okay so her note was a little cold, no “I love you’s” or “We’ll miss you’s” but this gave me the perfect opportunity to get everything ready.

I planned to cook her favorite meal, and during dinner I would tell her how I was feeling about everything and she could do the same. I hoped that then we would be able to get better at communicating and we would be in a better place. After we finish eating I plan to ask her to dance, and we would go to the living room and we could dance like we did that night I asked her to be my girlfriend. In order for that to be romantic I needed to set up candles (without lighting them yet), sting some of those really cool Led lights around the room and close off that area until I was ready for her to see it.

That was the trickiest part since the living room was one of the first places you saw when you walked in the door but after some digging I found a clothes line, some pins and set of bedsheets I could hang to cover it. It looked really weird and I knew she would ask questions but I had answers ready. I barely finished setting everything up when she came back and when she walked in the look on her face was priceless.

“Okay… what’s with the giant bedsheet wall in the living room?”

“I just need those too dry; I accidentally spilled water on them, so I hung them up.”

“They don’t look wet to me.”

“Well, then would you look at that! They dried a lot faster than I thought.”

Turns out I really only had one answer to her questions and she was looking at me like I was crazy.

“You’re being really weird today Y/N, you know that? Here let me help you take them down.”

She started to tug on the sheets and I knew I had to find an excuse for her to stop before she saw what was behind them.

“Wait, wait! Don’t!”

“Why not? They’re dry I promise.”

“Lindsey, please stop!”

“Okay, okay. I stopped, what’s wrong? Why are you getting so worked up?”

“They’re important to me.”

“These bedsheets are… Important to you?”

She was even more baffled now and I could tell she was becoming more and more concerned by my weird behavior.

“Yes?”

“Y/N… is there something going on? Something you need to talk about? I’m a little worried about you babe.” She said, the concern very evident on her face.

She approached me and took my hand in hers, intertwining our fingers and squeezing gently.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know, I’m okay. I promise but I just really need you to leave those up for now okay?”

“Okay, I’ll leave them be.”

“Good. Now I actually have a surprise for you.”

“You do, really?”

“Yeah, while you were out I made us dinner.”

I led her over to the table and showed her the meal I had prepared. I served us both and then sat across from her.

“Y/N- I don’t even know what to say. You didn’t have to do this, thank you.”

“I did have too, I wanted to make up for today and for the last few weeks. I know it's been just as hard for you as it has been for me. And I’ve been pushing you away, and I haven’t been a good boyfriend lately, I’m sorry.” I said earnestly.

“This was very sweet of you. It’s okay, I forgive you. I’m sorry as well, I know I haven’t been the most loving girlfriend lately.”

“It’s okay, I get it and I forgive you.”

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Why have you been pushing me away? I know I was doing some of the same things but I was starting to feel like you didn’t want to be here with me anymore.”

“I did that because I wasn’t sure how to tell you how I’ve really been feeling, I noticed that we were fighting a lot more about such little things and it scared the crap out of me, so I figured if I became a little more distant, the fighting would be less.”

“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling like that. I was feeling much the same way and didn’t know what to do.”

“I think we both were trying to find a way to make things better and ended up making it worse huh?”

“A little, yeah.” She giggled

I reached across the table and took her hand in mine, leaning across I kissed her gently. We continued to talk everything though and came to an agreement to do better at communicating how we feel and to make sure that we let each other have space but not push each other away. I felt much better and I could tell so did she.

“Did I tell you about that squirrel in that tree outside the building the other day?” Lindsey asked, already starting to laugh at whatever she was about to tell me.

“No, What about it?”

“So I was just taking a walk by myself right?”

My face fell at the thought of her walking around possibly feeling upset about us. She noticed and quickly added

“But I wasn’t sad or anything, I just want to get out for a bit.”

“Oh, okay. Continue.”

“So I looked up in the tree after I heard a bunch of noise and saw that he was trying to grab an acorn that had rolled far away from him, but he wasn’t just walking to it, he was determined to stretch for it.”

She finished in a fit of laughter and I couldn't help but join in.

“So like that little guy from ice age? He just couldn’t seem to get his precious acorn?”

“Exactly!”

We were able to find new, albeit somewhat weird things to talk about and finished the meal, smiling lovingly at each other.

“Okay… Linds?”

“Yeah, babe?”

I actually have one more surprise for you. You wanna see?”

“What? No way, Yeah I do!”

I took her hand and led her over to the bedsheet wall.

“Okay, we’re here.”

“The bedsheets? I’ve already seen these.”

“I know, silly goose. The surprise is behind them” I said giggling as she pouted at me.

“I would’ve figured that out.”

I back tracked after remembering I still had to light the candles, turn on the LED lights and turn out the regular lights, so I told her to go wait in the kitchen and not to peek.

“I wanna seeee.” She whined

“I know lovely but I promise it’s worth just waiting a little longer.”

“Fineee.”

As soon as she wasn’t looking I dashed behind the “curtain” and did everything I need to there, before emerging again only to go over to the light switch and turn out all the lights in the apartment.

“Hey, Why’d you turn out the lights?!” She yelled.

I went over to where she stood, once again taking her hand, telling her to close her eyes I led her over to the living room and tore down the bedsheets.

“Okay, open!”

When she saw everything she gasped loudly and brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

“Do you like it?” I said, nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

“Like it?… Y/N, I love it.”

“I’m really glad.”

I turned on the speakers I had set up and the playlist with all the music we loved, including the first slow song we ever danced to began to play,

“May I have this dance?”

I held my hand out to her and she eagerly accepted, I led her to the “dance floor” and we began to sway to the music. My hands rested on her waist while her arms were wrapped around my neck. She had to stretch on her tippy toes to be able to reach but she didn’t seem to mind. We got lost in each other’s eyes and shared little kisses here and there.

“These lights are so pretty.”

“You’re so pretty” I said smiling softly at her

“That was cheesy.” She giggled

“I know, that was what I was going for.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, so much.”

We were so engrossed in each we had completely forgotten about Ferguson until he very loudly and rudely might I add made his presence known by barking at us and then shoving his way in-between us.

“Excuse you sir, do you mind?” I said feigning annoyance

He just barked at me while giving me the stink eye.

“Okayyyy… I’m sorry I left you out of my grand plan. Can you forgive me?” I said leaning down and petting him. He barked as if he was saying “Yes, I forgive you.”

“My two favorite boys.” Lindsey giggled.

We went back to dancing but this time we included Fergs and made sure he knew we loved him too.

“You’re my favorite dance partner. Thank you for asking me to the dance.” Lindsey whispered in my ear, giggling softly as she hugged me.

“Thank you for letting me step on your toes.” I chuckled.

“You know, maybe next time we do this, you could let me cook?” Lindsey said hopefully.

“I hate to be the messenger of bad news babe but… You and I both know you aren’t the best in the kitchen.”

I laughed at the offered look on her face as she slapped me on the arm.

“Hey, I resent that! I’m not that bad.”

I raised my eyebrow and gave her a knowing look

“Okay so I suck at cooking! You’ll just have to cook me a romantic dinner every week then.” She said jokingly.

“That can be arranged.” I laughed.

We “danced the night away.” As they say, having Lindsey wrapped up in my arms and feeling closer than ever was an amazing feeling and as we continued to sway to the soft music I knew we would be okay and we’d come out of this quarantine stronger than ever.

Sorry for any mistakes.

-N

#lindsey horan #lindsey horan x reader #lindsey horan imagine #mostly fluff #uswnt imagines

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peterstanslizzie · 4 years

Text

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 5)

Episode Title: Song ReMix

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers

1. It’s time for a flashback! We trace back to the time when Dr. Emilia still had control over Song as the Mega Monkey. She tells Song to go after Kipo in the burrow and kill her, which we already know in Season 1 that Kipo managed to escape. The pheromones Emilia took from Scarlemagne are controlling Song but at least she is still somewhat aware of what she’s being forced to do.

Yasss....a second Troyson kiss! I didn’t expect that <3

2. Kipo, Lio, Dave, Benson, Wolf and now a regular kitty cat, Yumyan return to Timbercat Village. Troy, Asher, Dahlia and Song all happily greet them back but unfortunately, Kipo needs to break it to them and the rest of the mutes that Yumyan has been “cured”.

Well, at least he’s not dead.....

3. Hence, a ceremony takes place for Yumyan for him to get inducted into the Great Hall of Axe Lords, whatever that is lol. The rest of the mutes are sad about what happened to Yumyan but they’re also freaking out about the same thing possibly happening to them.

4. All hope isn’t lost though because Lio is confident that he will be able to make a vaccine to reverse the effects of the cure but he will need Song’s help and it so happens that he had stolen a cure dart from Emilia in the last episode.

ROFL! He didn’t know?

5. He administers the cure on Song and despite the initial shock, she finally reverts back to her human self! And cue the waterworks. As expected, she finds difficulty speaking since she’s been a mute for over 13 years but I’m pretty sure she will be speaking properly in no time. I’m pretty psyched to see the role Song is going to play for the rest of the season; It would be fitting if she or Scarlemagne were the ones to take Emilia down.

Round 2 of the waterworks: Lio gets in on the hug too.

Family group hug!

6. Wow, it didn’t take her any time to start speaking normally again. Anyways, Song advises them that they should start working on the vaccine pronto. Meanwhile, we see Dr. Emilia setting Margot and her brother free from their restraints only to shoot them with the cure darts whilst they were running away. She’s such a bi**h lol but a great villain I will admit.

7. Song is trying hard to remember the genetic composition of the cure she developed but it’s been ages ago. So, she’s forgetting a lot of the details. I wonder if they can get her research journal back for her. I don’t think the pages are completely obliterated, right?

8. Song feels the pressure to develop the vaccine and it’s really unfair to put all of that on her so quickly. I’m glad Kipo recognizes this. All of a sudden, the Humming Bombers show up at the village warning them that Emilia is on her way with her army. They also announce that they’re joining HMUFA too; Their abilities and nectar bombs should definitely come in handy for the alliance.

9. They need to come up with a plan quickly. Thanks to Dave, Kipo suggests to everyone to build a wall of protection that would scare away the humans. The mutes try to give their suggestions. One of the said that diversity would scare the humans away LOL. Now that’s funny.

10. Benson suggests Death Ivy, which is pretty much explained by what it’s called. Amy adds that the Dubstep Bees would be able to help them build the wall since they’re immune to it. So the plan now is for Kipo and Wolf to try to get the bees to help them, giving Song enough time to work on the vaccine. But Song is still experiencing a mental block. So, Kipo also asks her and her dad, Lio to join her and Wolf as well.

I didn’t know that saying “Ming, ming, ming” would pull cats in towards you.

11. On the other end, Dave and Benson need to find out where Yumyan is since they left him in a kitchen with a giant hole in it. Ugh, those two lol.

Don’t mess with Kipo’s mom!

12. As they make their way to talk to the Dubstep Bees, they are stopped by the Scooter Skunks because won’t allow them to cross their territory unless they race them. Song accepts the challenge partly because she wants to look cool in front of Kipo but.....she flops. The skunks make fun of her, which angers Kipo and she goes full-on Mega Jaguar to chase them away. I’m not one for intimidation but I’m glad Kipo did it this time.

Side note: I feel bad for Wolf because she’s never had cake!

13. We should now dub the scenes with Dave and Benson as their own comedy show because these two together are just so hilarious. It’s funny how they were low-key debating on the importance of human lives vs bug lives. But the jokes on me because Dave doesn’t seem to value bug lives himself. Exactly, Benson. What?!

It’s the queen dubstep-bee

14. Song says she knows how to talk to the bees in their language but Kipo accidentally interrupts her plan, which in turn insulted their queen bee who actually proceeds to sting Kipo and she starts dancing unintentionally, which is known as dance fever. What a pun.

Cats just can’t resist boxes, huh? Even if they’re drawn. There’s too many cat puns in this episode and I’m all here for it!

I never thought I would see a dancing Mega Jaguar Kipo.

15. Song continues talking to the bees and fortunately, what she said somehow manages to convince the queen to give them Kipo back IF they impress her with their dancing. I’m sorry but this is getting a little too corny for me lol. But I’m definitely digging the background music:

And Wolf dancing is a vision

Yumyan has returned! He’s been in the kitchen the entire time. I have no words.

16. They’re all still dancing. The bees are starting to lose interest lol. I can see why. Song then tries to reason with the Queen by telling her that she has had it rough for the past 13 years and she really wants her to forgive Kipo because she’s her one and only daughter. Basically, she’s playing her sympathy card. And of course it works! These episodes are never going to be direct haha. Kipo has finally recovered from her dance fever and they manage to convince them to build the wall for them.

Aww Yumyan still remembers his pet flea, Pierre!

The dynamic between Wolf and Lio has been pure awesomeness throughout the entirety of this episode.

17. Song expresses to Kipo that she feels like she needs to overcompensate in doing things for her daughter since she cannot protect her as the Mega Monkey anymore. But Kipo tells her that she has helped her plenty just by being her mom. Plus, she was the one who convinced the bees to build the Death Ivy wall.

18. The episode ends with Emilia and her human army, making their way towards the village. Well, that’s the end of my review of episode 5. Stay tuned tomorrow for my review of episode 6. Thanks for reading everybody!

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solesurvivorkat · 5 years

Text

11 Questions Meme

Rules: Answer the questions of the person who tagged you, come up with 11 new ones, and tag 11 new people.

Tagged by @sharky-broshaw, thank you hon!

1) Favorite song currently and why?: Hmm... I don’t really have a favorite (that I can think of), but I love ‘The Sound of Silence’ by Disturbed. I just think that cover is really moving & awesome. Whenever I hear it, I get kind of like Elaine’s boyfriend on ‘Seinfeld’ listening to the song ‘Desperado’, lol (how’s that for a reference? Here’s a reference link for my younger followers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKNgd9pGgnE).

2) If you know it, what’s your MBTI type?: ::takes a test online:: ...According to this particular test, I am a ‘Defender’, ISFJ-A. It says I tend to be more introverted, observant, and feeling. ...Yeah, that sounds right, lol. If curious, here - you can read more about my particular personality type: https://www.16personalities.com/isfj-personality.

3) Are you a dog person, cat person, or neither?: Dog person, definitely. I don’t dislike cats, but I want a pet that I can play with and don’t have to worry about annoying and clawing me in my sleep, lol (...plus cat fur makes my face itch, lol).

4) Dream place to live?: I think it’d be nice to live in northern Georgia. Maybe someday.

5) Favorite season?: Hmm, tough one. I love them all for different reasons. I don’t like being cold though, so... maybe either summer (easiest for me to dress ‘girly’) or fall (fall in New England is so pretty!). Although spring is nice too... damn it! Lol.

6) If you’re into it, what would your six Pokemon lineup be? If you can’t narrow it down, give a giant list: In no particular order: Butterfree, Pikachu, Dragonite, Charmander, Onix, Squirtle (I also like Cubone, Lapras, Eevie & its evolved forms, and Snorlax) I haven’t followed it for a long time, so I don’t know many outside of the original 150.

7) Favorite room in your house and why: Family room/living room. I love just flopping down on my couch in comfy clothes and snuggling in to watch some TV.

8) If exotic animal laws weren’t a thing, what animals would you have as a non-tradtional pet? (think like… fennec fox, komodo dragon, mountain lion, go wild): Hmm...I own a chinchilla, but I guess that’s not really exotic b/c they sell them in pet stores. Maybe a red panda... they are SO cute and I love them! <3 ::girly squeal::

.....Yes. Definitely a red panda. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

9) Pinterest - is it a great resource or overrated?: ::hisses:: ...PINTEREST. It is both a great resource and a horrible sucker of time. Observe: https://www.pinterest.com/sprocket135/

10) Opinion on corgis? 👀 (I have a brand to uphold here): Yes. Adorable. (Corgi butt! <3 ) If I can’t obtain an Alaskan Klee Kai in the future, I would definitely be okay with owning a corgi for a dog. ^.^

11) Five fic recs from anything and why: (Augh, I’m soo behind in reading people’s fics, so if I don’t mention yours, please don’t be hurt/offended! I just chose 5 at random, but there are soooo many good ones out there!) - Paper Moon, Lead Balloon by @fancyladssnacks - Our Bond Is Steel by @the-dubstep-strawberry - Only a Look and a Voice by @tess-etc - Breathe by @teamhawkeye - Bleeding Steel by @scorpio-skies

Like I said.... WAAAAAAY too many to list, but those are some amazing Fallout and Far Cry 5-related fics that are extremely well-written, and absolutely 100% worth reading. There’s a TON that I’m behind in reading though, and hope to catch up with someday. -__-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m forever afraid to tag people in things - at least for now - b/c I don’t know who’s been tagged yet (I often can’t keep up w/ my Tumblr feed and only have time to skim it every so often), so please forgive me & feel free to do this if you’d like! :-)

#tagged #11 questions #about me #me IRL #about katie

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thedarklordmegatron · 6 years

Note

for the ship meme: Gladnis and Reglcar!

I’ve had a few requests for Regclar so if it’s okay with you I’ll pop that in with the ask that came in before this one! But I hope you like the Gladnis!

send me a ship and i’ll tell you

who hogs the duvet

Ignis is the King of duvet thieves! Gladio’s always run a little on the hot side ever since he was a child, his dad would often walk into his bedroom and find him sprawled on the bed, his blankets on the floor. So it doesn’t bother him too much when Ignis turns himself into a burrito in his sleep, if anything he finds it adorable.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Gladio is the one most likely to text Ignis. Considering his boyfriend often loses himself in his work, he usually sends a text around 1pm - asking how his day has gone, which usually reminds him to eat as well.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

They’re both pretty creative when it comes to gifts! They try to think ‘out of the box’ when buying something for one another, it doesn’t always happen but they give it their best. Ignis’ most ‘creative’ gift was a dance belt, he’d had enough of seeing people eyeballing Gladio’s crotch when he wore his favourite trousers - a pair of far too tight leather trousers. Gladio had worn the pants for all of two hours before going commando for the rest of the day, needless to say they live in the bottom of the drawer, never to see the light of day again.

who gets up first in the morning

Ignis is always the first one up (unless he’s ill). He doesn’t have to be up quite as early as he chooses to be, but he loves the calm of the early morning. He’ll bundle himself up in Gladio’s favourite dressing gown, pour himself a cup of coffee and stand on the small balcony attached to their apartment to watch the sunrise.

who suggests new things in bed

Their bedroom activities are agreed upon in advance. They enjoy ‘making love’ to one another, taking it slow and genuinely enjoying one another’s bodies, but every now and then they do enjoy trying something a little different every now and then. When they do decide to try something different, they’ll both come up with ideas and ‘report’ back - it’s very businesslike.

who cries at movies

Gladio has a tendency to bawl at emotional films. The best friends finally get together? He’s crying. The dog’s reunited with it’s owner? So many tears. A kid forgives his parent’s murderer? He has to leave the room.

who gives unprompted massages

Ignis is weak for Gladio’s massages. If he comes home looking a little worse for wear or more exhausted than normal, Gladio will gently ‘encourage’ him into the shower. As soon as he comes out he’s guided to their bed and turned into a boneless pile of skin. Likewise, on quiet evenings where they’re just watching the television, Gladio will grab hold of Ignis’ feet and happily massage them until his boyfriend passes out.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

They are both as bad as each other when their partner is sick! Both men will try to play off their illnesses as a minor inconvenience, even if it’s anything but. Eventually they’ll be dragged to bed and the healthy party will act as their ‘nurse’ - it’s as annoying as it is endearing.

who gets jealous easiest

Ignis gets incredibly jealous. He knows how good looking Gladio is and he still can’t quite believe that he’s managed to catch the eye of Insomnia’s most eligible bachelor, after Noctis at least. So when someone gets a little too close to him, Ignis will hover on the sidelines and glare at the offending party until Gladio waves them away, or until they meet his eyes. Noctis had called him out on it more than once but he was hardly prepared to just let them get away with hitting on his boyfriend.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

According to Noctis, Gladio has the worst playlists imaginable. A combination of country, kids pop and death metal - it’s so terrifyingly awful that Ignis has banned his music from the apartment when he’s home. Gladio absolutely does not know the lyrics to every song from the kids musical ‘Moogles, Moogles, oh my!’ (He absolutely does and has been to see it live three times with Iris)

who collects something unusual

Ignis has a collection of limited edition Ebony cans. From the rare ‘Cactuar’ edition to the slightly more common ‘Star of Lucis’ edition - something that’s only on sale for Noctis’ birthday and was named after his car. Gladiolus helped him create a small display case for them that they keep in their bedroom. Despite keeping it semi-hidden, Iggy is damn proud of his collection.

who takes the longest to get ready

Neither takes particularly long, even when they’re dressing themselves for a formal event. The longest either has ever taken was about 40 minutes, and that was when Gladio first had to wear his Shield robes for his swearing in.

who is the most tidy and organised

Both are pretty tidy and organised but Ignis is significantly more organised than Gladio. If given the chance, he’ll plan out his entire week down to the minute, and had in the past even made a ‘sex schedule’ to make sure they had time to themselves during a busy week.

who gets most excited about the holidays

While Ignis loves his time off, Gladio’s the one to go completely overboard. Valentines day? Ignis will come home to an apartment filled with roses and balloons, along with a naked boyfriend. Shiva’s Day? They have the biggest tree that could fit in the apartment, tasteful decorations everywhere and the most beautifully wrapped presents.

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Gladio’s the big spoon and Iggy the little!

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

They’re both absolutely bloody awful. They treat games as a life or death situation, giving no quarters, losing a game of Mario Kart is the end of the world.

who starts the most arguments

Gladio does. He’s quick to anger but just as quick to apologise or forgive. There’s nothing he hates more than arguing with a loved one, and his father had always raised him never to go to sleep without apologising for an argument - you never know if you’re going to wake up after all.

who suggests that they buy a pet

There’s not even a suggestion. Gladio just comes home one day with a three-legged kitten and announces that they now have a son. Sir Fluffernut, also known as the spawn of Ifrit, is quick to claim one of Ignis’ old jackets as his bed. He also has a habit of biting ankles, doesn’t matter whose ankles they are, if he sees them he will nom them.

what couple traditions they have

Every Monday night, so long as there are no emergencies, they sit down to watch ‘Insomnia’s best chef’. They criticise the dishes, and on a lucky night Ignis will whip up something quick to prove he’s better than any of them. Gladio still wishes he’d apply for the damn show, damn the security issues.

what tv shows they watch together

Insomnia’s Best Chef, it’s their number one favourite, followed by: ‘I Married A ….!” (The I married an Iron Giant episode was hilarious), Pimp My Pad and Doggos First Dance Class. They watch nothing but trash, so much trash.

what other couple they hang out with

They don’t really have any other couples to ‘hang out’ with in the beginning. However, shortly after Ignis’ 21st birthday, Gladio takes him out ‘on the town’ where they bump into a group of Glaives. Suddenly after one drunken night, they have multiple drinking buddies and fellow couples for double dates; chief among them Glaives Khara and Ulric.

how they spend time together as a couple

Neither are fond of doing something ‘big’, they’re much happier spending their time together doing something simple such as cooking or sharing a bath. On the odd occasion that they do have the time to do something else, they enjoy walking through Insomnia’s numerous parks and coming across coffee shops they’d yet to discover, or ones that had only recently opened.

who made the first move

Gladio made the first move. He’d been subtly flirting with Ignis for months to no avail. It was the morning after Gladio’s nineteenth birthday, when he practically flopped out of his bedroom with the mother of all hangovers, and found Ignis standing at the stove frying up some bacon. Perhaps it was the lingering effects of the alcohol or just the fact that his brain hadn’t woken up, but either way Gladio had stumbled over, wrapped his arms around Ignis’ waist and kissed his cheek.

who brings flowers home

Ignis knows of Gladio’s love of flowers, hardly surprising when it wa the Amicitia tradition to name their children after various varieties, and it just so happens that there is a quaint little florists on the same road as Noctis’ apartment. So once a week, usually a Friday night, after leaving Noctis, Ignis will swing by and collect a bouquet of Gladioli - each more colourful than the previous. Gladio has long since forgone the act of thanking him, but Ignis knows he appreciates the flowers simply by the way his eyes light up when he sees them.

who is the best cook

Ignis! Gladio once set a pot of water on fire, no one knows how and Ignis is not prepared to take the chance that he’ll burn their apartment down.

#vex writes #gladnis #gladiolus amiticia #ignis scientia #Gladio x Ignis #ffxv #ffxv headcanons #headcanons #final fantasy xv #I love these guys so much holy shit #The Queuest Queue that ever did Queue

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black-strike-otp · 7 years

Text

part 69

Weak by AJR just.... just fits that big aft so much I can’t... I can’t explain it any better than that.

Light barely registered in Nova’s optics. She blinked a moment before realizing that the florescent lanterns had been dimmed significantly to allow the natural darkness of the cave to fill the room. Even without the light she’d still easily be able to make her way through the cave structure though. With a combination of her acute senses and the fact she’d been left alone with Scorponok on the planet so often, she’d found time to explore the barren world with her company.

The planet was nearly as empty as she felt.

Looking around, she spotted Scorponok recharging half on Blackout’s leg. Her helm leaned back as she looked up to realize the imposing mech was sitting up, his servos wrapped around her and unclear dim crimson optics watching her.

“Did I wake you?” she whispered nervously.

He gave a little shake of his helm. “I haven’t been recharging very well lately,” he admitted.

Novastrike placed her servo against his chassis, right over his spark chamber. A softened rumble moved through his dark armor in small vibrations.

“Where’s Nighthawk and Infiltrator?” she inquired, gazing around the room. “Did they... leave?”

“No, Nighthawk chose to recharge in his spacecraft and Infiltrator joined him.”

The small femme gave a quiet nod of her helm in response. She couldn’t blame them. There was no place to recharge comfortably here. Blackout resorted to sitting up against a wall, Scorponok plopped wherever on the floor, and she got to be the spoiled most comfortable of all curled up in beloved’s servos.

Dropping her helm back down as well as her arm, she looked at her servos as she flexed her digits. She’d gotten somewhat used to the one not responding for a while that it felt alien to be able to adjust her digits once again.

Adjusting his digits, Blackout rubbed along the seams where her audio stacks met her helm and carefully down against the back of her neck and spine. A quiet purr escaped her, optics flickering as they grew softer.

“Are you alright?” he rumbled quietly.

The answer to that was easy, but not one she wanted to truthfully speak. She knew Neutroboost wanted her to feel guilt and shame over protecting Blackout; saving him, loving him, caring for him despite what he said. She didn’t, of course; not even a speck of hesitation questioned her thoughts in that manner.

She did regret not speaking up sooner to somebot. After all the dirty tricks, the lies, the jeers and horrible remarks, she was to blame for this. Guard was offline now. He was never coming back. No matter how much she willed to awaken from this terror of an illusion, this alternate realm, this was the makings of a ball that she allowed to kept rolling and growing until it crashed into them all and took out the one bot least deserving of it’s consequences.

It didn’t matter how many times she blinked, recharged and woke, hoped and daydreamed and prayed, he was not returning to them. She’d sentenced him to die.

Even if she could imagine for a brief nanoklik when her reluctant barrier was down that she could feel him close by; imagine his understanding gaze and the nod of forgiveness, it was just a hallucination of fantasy.

“Nova?”

She turned her optics back to Blackout. Comparing his expression from the very first time she saw him to now was light night and day. Pain riddled his optics; cutting deeper and far worse than physical.

The concern plaguing his face and fogging over his dull optics only grew as she remained quiet. A frown pulled upon his perfectly handsome faceplate as his ridges drew together.

“I miss him too,” he echoed in a sorrowful tone upon realizing she was not going to be the first to speak.

“Missing him doesn’t bring him back,” she bitterly snapped. Her own comment surprised her, but it didn’t seem to bother the dark armored mech in the least.

“I know. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to want him back, or yearn that things went differently.”

“It doesn’t exactly solve anything either. It just makes it hurt more.”

The obsidian mech tilted his helm slightly in consideration of this. “It does,” he finally consented, “But if you don’t allow yourself to go through the grief; if you bottle it up, it will only consume you more and draw out the hurt longer.”

Breathing in slowly, Novastrike let it out with a huff. “You sound like you’ve gone through this before.”

He grunted. “A few times,” he agreed. “Back when I felt a little more, talked too much. A bit like the me now. It seems I’m capable of growing backwards, rather than forward.”

Her tone somewhat more monotone, Novastrike dropped her helm and fumbled with her digits as she mumbled: “You can’t go backwards. You just learned what you forgot.”

“And then some,” Blackout agreed, relaxing.

Blinking rapidly at the tears collecting her vision, Nova let out a quiet hiccuping sound. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive- forgive me for what happened?”

Shocked by the sudden shift in emotion, Blackout pressed her a little tighter to his chassis. The audible hum of his spark so close to should have been more reassuring than it was. Snuffling, she pushed her face against the replaced pieces of armor. Strange odors wafted up to her; chemicals she didn’t recognize mixed with his own dangerous smell. The reverberating sounds moving through him bounced around in her chassis; his song seeming to play in her own frame.

“Dear, why would he forgive you for something you had nothing to do with?” Blackout whispered, rubbing his digits against her back.

“Because he died protecting me,” the little femme blubbered. “He told me- told me that it was- it was going to be okay but it’s not. It’s not okay.”

“He knew what he was doing, Nova,” he softly murmured while drawing circles over her back. “He wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t want to. Guard cared about you. He wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over his actions. You couldn’t have stopped him from doing what he wanted to do if you tried. Sometimes... bots just act selflessly. And all we can do in response to their kind gesture is to remember them, strongly and as fondly as we can.”

Quiet sobs broke free of Novastrike’s frame. She hid her face with shame, muffling the sounds raking through her tiny form and causing her to quiver all over.

Humming gently, the giant mech cradled her carefully to himself. Although the small femme couldn’t see it, his own optics had an unnatural liquidy shine around them.

“It’s alright, darling,” he thickly murmured. “Just let it out. I’m here, I promise.”

Awakening from the restless recharge she’d managed to drift into, Novastrike looked around the room with blurry optics. For a nanoklik she had thought that Blackout had gone again, and a sickening sadness dwelled in her spark.

Then she went to move and nearly slid off his shoulder.

“Woah, careful there,” the mech stated with a soft-spoken voice of bewilderment as her frame flopped around.

“Nnng,” she drowsily grumbled, clutching on to the kibble armor protruding from his shoulder.

“Just hold on a nanoklik,” Blackout chuckled faintly, pushing her back on to his shoulder. “Better?”

Nova gave a raspy mewl in answer.

Picking up on the strong scents in the room, the white armored femme glanced over her shoulder to spot the seeker. A vibrant red adorning darker gunmetal grays and startling contrast white. Even his optics seemed to match his armor color; although it was somewhat difficult to tell with the semi-transparent amethyst glasses in the way.

The moment she twitched her audio receptor his way, one of his horns upon his helm seemed to mimic the action even though he wasn’t looking her.

She flicked her ear forward.

His horn helm followed the motion.

A quiet giggle escaped the little femme and Nighthawk looked up at her, offering a smile.

“Good morning Novastrike,” the medic warmly greeted.

Novastrike inclined her helm slightly. “Sir.”

“Still have your manners, even hanging around this behemoth?” the seeker teased.

“I’ve got manners,” Blackout grumbled.

“Yes, sir,” Nova stated with a grin.

Casting a glance of disagreement upon Blackout’s backside, the medic shook his helm slightly. His sharp digits seemed to be carefully adjusting and poking around something, from what the small femme could see from her position.

A memory flickered into her thoughts.

“Did you see to Blackout’s chassis yet, Nighthawk sir?” she anxiously murmured. “He had a... a pretty nasty-”

“I’m guessing you’re suggesting the crater he had in his chassis that exposed his spark chamber?”

The large mech stiffened slightly; his shoulder raising.

“Yes, sir.”

“I worked in that area a bit yesterday. Looked like you two got hit by some pretty big weapons; or run over by a really small variation of Astrotrain.”

She didn’t get the reference, but it seemed Blackout did as he made a snort and lowered his shoulders a fraction.

“How’s your arm functioning today?”

Experimentally, Novastrike curled her digits.

“Seems fine to me,” she commented.

“I’ll have a look at it after this.”

Sensing her unease somehow, Blackout’s graveling voice carried as he grumbled, “Don’t mind him; Nighthawk’s a perfectionist. He’ll annoy the frag out of you until he’s sure he’s gotten everything fixed down to the last detail.”

“Down to the last atom I can preserve,” agreed the medic proudly.

Leaning over Blackout’s shoulder slightly, Novastrike offered a small smile. “That’s very noble of you, sir.”

The seeker instantly went from being humble yet boisterous to bashful. He reached up to nervously scratch at one of his neck cables to wiping his brow, and then proceeded back to what he was originally doing.

“It’s my job.”

Nova drew her optic ridges together. “I don’t know, sir. I’ve met some medics who seem to enjoy giving bots a living agony than to help them. You seem like a true healer.”

“Young femme, those are not medics, those are tormentors and lunatics.”

“Does that mean the femme on the Rising Star was just a lunatic? OUCH! Watch it back there!”

“Oops, digit must have slipped,” Nighthawk sneered. “Don’t mock my former student. If she could be bothered to put up with you, I’d say she’s doing a fragging good job.”

“My scarred t-cog says otherwise.”

The seeker raised his optic ridge slightly, but didn’t question the matter.

Staring between the two mechs, Nova let out a brief snicker. “Have the two of you always been this... difficult with each other?”

“Yes,” Blackout growled.

“Always,” Nighthawk stated.

“Can’t you try being, I don’t know, a bit nicer?”

“Femme I assure you, I’m on my best behavior when a lady is present.”

Blackout snorted back laughter.

Tossing an accusatory glance at the mech’s backside, the crimson medic gave a short medic. “I’ll try harder to be more polite Novastrike, my apologies.”

Turning her helm, Novastrike pressed her mouth against Blackout’s cheek. “And I know you can do better, mister.”

An embarrassed grumble escaped the obsidian mech as he sideglanced away. There was a merry little laughter from Nighthawk in response. It wasn’t every day a bot got to see the dog of war flustered and weak in the knees; complacent beneath such a small femme’s request.

Adjusting her vision, Nova moved her gaze around the room. There, she spotted Scorponok with Infiltrator. The Predacon looking medic seemed to be quietly working on a surprisingly calm scorpion. She wondered if he’d been sedated. Even for Blackout, the bug could never manage to remain so still and silent while he cleaned him or patched him of wounds, and he never showed a particular preference for the medic on the Rising Star, either.

Though, maybe it was the official medic status he recognized and relented to. He may not have cared for the contact from the femme on the Rising Star, but he at least never tried to escape her as he did his master.

Mechs were weird.

“I’ll need to go back to that blasted outlet and see about getting some more armory plating,” Nighthawk commented unhappily as he frowned. “Some of these panels are just too battered to be reused.”

“I can-”

“No no, you just remain here and focus on recovery. We’ll never leave this place if you can’t do that much.”

Blackout vented sharply. “And trust you to find the right kind of material and armor grade?”

“I’m not a moron, Hound. I know exactly what to look for.”

“Oh yeah?” the obsidian mech mocked. “How are you going to pay for it?”

“Who said I’ll be paying?”

“Oooh~ Scary. The big bad jaguar coming out to play and steal some stuff.”

Nighthawk shrug. “Sometimes a bot has to do what he’s got to do to survive.”

Flattening her ears against her helm, Nova flung her arms from side to side. “Hey, wait, hold up a second. You said we’ll never leave this place if we can’t recover. Is that supposed to be the royal ‘we’ or an implied ‘we we’?”

Although the hulking ebony mech tried looking over at his shoulder to Nighthawk, he couldn’t quite manage it. The medic on the other servo, had a somewhat vain look on his face that Nova couldn’t explain the reason for.

“Why, I’d hate to barge in on your journey...” the scarlet seeker wistfully commented.

“Barge in? Are you kidding me- that’d be fantastic! Don’t you think Blackout? I mean- we’d probably be asking too much of you though. You’re a medic; your uses and talents could probably be used elsewhere.”

“Agreed,” Blackout quickly grunted.

The medic gave a pitiful sigh. “I guess you’re right,” he pouted. “I’ll just... continue searching for a meaning in my life. Roaming endlessly. Meeting bots I don’t even know. Going for days, weeks, months without conversation as I search for something to do... sigh.”

Dramatically, the seeker dropped his helm lower into his work after quite literally vocalizing the word ‘sigh’.

Turning to meet Blackout’s glance in her direction, Novastrike offered the most pathetic wide-optics she could offer.

“No, he grunted, “Absolutely not.”

“Blackout, he’ll get lonely.”

“He has a dragon with him for Primus’ sake Nova, he’ll be fine.”

“But what if we need help? Or he needs help? Or he gets lonely?”

“He’ll send us some mail for all I care,” the dark armored mech glowered. “The answer’s no.”

Meanwhile, the medic was grinning to himself. Let the femme play his card for him. Perfect idea.

“But Blaaaccckkkooouuuttt,” Nova whined, placing her servos against his helm as she leaned against him. “Pretty pretty please? You have to admit, having a medic around would be super helpful!”

The huge mech kept flickering his optics away and then back. Nova could tell he was inwardly sweating bullets, trying to resist.

“Please?” she pleased, lower lib wobbling.

“Nova...”

“Please?”

Blackout vented shortly. “Femme, your begging is going to stop a mech’s spark. Could you try toning down the hurt tone, imploring beautiful blue optics, and the cute face?”

“Is that a ‘no’?” Nova whimpered, sniffling.

He groaned loudly.

“Blackout?”

“Fine. Yes. Whatever makes you happy,” he muttered.

“Yay!” she squeaked, kissing his face. “You won’t be sorry!”

“You’re cleaning up after him,” he teased.

“Can do, handsome devil.”

A quiet snicker escaped Nighthawk from behind. “Soft spark,” he barely spoke above a whisper.

“Shut up,” Blackout grumbled, grinning as Nova nestled against his neck cables. He placed his servo across his chassis in order to reach up and stroke her backstrut.

“Novastrike, slayer of the Hound and resurrector of a the tender-sparked mech,” Nighthawk mocked lightly.

Blackout shoved his elbow back, knocking Nighthawk roughly in his own shoulder.

“Hey!” the medic growled with annoyance.

“I said shut up,” Blackout distractedly commented, chuckling as the little femme nuzzled against his neck cables.

Sourly glaring, the medic sniffed rudely in response as he went back to what he had been doing, trying his best to work around the shifts in armor plating as Blackout snickered and prodded the little femme teasingly while she giggled.

#quid pro quo au #OTP AU #OTP Lit #Cute OTP #Sad OTP #OTP Friends

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xiumin-on-this-shit · 7 years

Text

All My Idols Ch 31: Let’s Do It

“Is what I’m hearing true?” Seunghyun tumbles into the small dressing room the staff provided for me. I jump, wrapping my arms around my torso to cover myself from who ever busted into my room. Once I realize who it is I let out a breath of relief, letting my arms drop revealing my lacy black bra to the man but I don’t care and neither does he. Seunghyun, being one of the few people I know doesn’t have any sort of romantic interest in me, is allowed to see more than the others.

I sigh, “No I am not doing a stage with JYP, Ikon yes, and let me just repeat, JYP no.” The minute I accepted Ikon’s proposal to preform with them the news spread like wild fire. JYP heard and automatically called me and asked if I will be joining him in his stage as well, I shut that down faster than I’ve ever done anything. He’s is a nice guy but a perv.

“Thank God,” TOP sits down on the love seat not far from where I sit at the make up table. “I thought I was going to have to hide you or something. That man is nuts.”

I chuckle, pulling on a white t-shirt I plop down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder, “Good to know I’m not the only person who thinks so.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer, “How are you feeling? We haven’t been able to talk since last night.”

“I’m still a little mad,” I admit. “I want to forgive him and go on but how can I just ignore something like that?”

“I’m not trying to make excuses for him at all but you need to remember is that Seungri is basically a child. He feels as if any new person in your never ending group of friends is going to steal you away from us and be your new favorite.”

“But he went and talked to someone else first.”

“Because he wanted to make you jealous.”

“What?”

He sighs, glancing towards the door as if Seungri is eavesdropping on the other side and is going to bust in, which has happened. “He started talking to that girl because he wanted to make you jealous, but since he’s an idiot he didn’t think you would find someone else to take your attention, you got distracted and he got mad.”

I face palm, “He is such an idiot.”

“I know, I know but he is our idiot.”

“Did he really think I would get jealous?”

“That boy hopes and prays that you will feel anything towards him. You can say horrible things to him, you can be violent towards him, he can take a lot but there is one thing he can not do. He can’t handle life when you ignore him.”

I sigh, “I know that, but Oppa I was just so mad, I had to get back at him a little bit and ignoring him this morning seemed like the easiest.”

“It’s a fair punishment but please don’t keep it up for long, I think maybe twelve hours is the maximum amount he can go without you without having some kind of melt down.” He strokes my head affectionately, resting his head on my own.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him after the show.”

He kisses my cheek, “Perfect, also…”

“I will perform with you guys next time, I promise.”

“Great, I already said you were anyway, the fans some how got a hold of the fact you were preforming with Ikon and got offended on our behalf. So I just annoyed that we are doing a stage together so they don’t need to worry.” He gives me a cheeky grin as he pulls out his phone. “Look! It is already trending on tumblr!”

“Oppa!”

“It’s going to be great! I have to go change, I’ll meet you out there okay?” He doesn’t even wait for my response before jumping off the couch and rushing out the door.

I chuckle as I run my hands through my hair, my life is such delightful chaos.

“Ready?” Jinhwan knocks on the doorway, smiling softly at me.

“Lets do this before I convince myself I’m an idiot for thinking I can preform on the same stage as actual idols.”

“You are going to do great, okay? Half of it is just the look, speaking of which,” He pulls a black leather jacket from behind his back, holding it up I can see that something is written on the back. He turns it around revealing Princess scrawled across the back. “What do you think?”

I can help but grin, “It’s so cute! How did you guys find this on such short notice?”

“We got in in Japan and figured this would be the perfect opportunity to give it to you.”

I jump the small man, nearly taking him to the ground if not for Junhoe appearing behind him, “Woah there Noona.”

“Thank you guys so much for the jacket!” I beam up at them.

“You are welcome, now we should get going before we miss our queue!” Junhoe takes my hand, I grab Jinhwan’s, and drags us down the many halls to the main stage area. Just as we reach the stage I’m tackled by a cute young man.

“Noona!”

“Kookie!” I giggle at the silly maknae, regardless of the glares we are currently getting.

“Not now kid,” Jinhwan tries to pull the giant boy away but fails.

“We are having our time with her,” Junhoe joins in on the fight and manages to get Jungkook away.

“Kookie you can’t just do that,” Namjoon appears, scolding the boy.

Jin appears above me and offers me a hand that I happily accept, “Sorry Charlie.”

I shrug once I’m on my feet, “I’m so used to being tackled now it doesn’t even come as a surprise anymore.”

“That’s concerning,” Jin fixes my hair and straightens my jacket.

“That’s new,” Yoongi notes as he gives me a nice side hug.

“Ikon got it for me,” I grin once again as I stare down at the jacket.

“I thought we weren’t allowed to get you presents,” Jimin pouts as he joins our growing group. I hug each member as they appear.

“You aren’t,” I deadpan. “I’m allowing them this time because I’m going to destroy their reputation tonight by making a fool of myself on stage.”

“That reminds me,” Hobi appears next to me, pushing Junhoe out of the way, “Shouldn’t your birthday be coming up?”

I tense.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Jinhwan snickers, “That’s right, Big Bang took you out of town about this time last year so no one else could spoil you.”

“Are you going to have a party this year? Pretty please!” V and Hobi beg.

“I will see,” I deadpan. “I don’t want to make it a big deal so if any of you tell anyone about my birthday I will find you and I will kill you, got it?”

They nod.

“Good! Now lets go out there so I can make a fool of myself.”

“Any chance you want to preform with us?” Jimin offers with an almost irresistible smile.

“Hahaha, you are hilarious. I’ve practiced with these guys a few times which is the only reason I’m agreeing to this. There is no way I could preform Not Today. Blood, Sweat, and Tears, maybe if I tried hard enough.”

“Come practice with us some time! We can teach you each step so we can preform together!” Hobi beams at me.

“I think a few people are in line a head of you now,” Hanbin informs as he comes in. “Big bang is next, a few others have taken a number so you are probably number 5 at least.”

“You guys need to stop telling people I’ll preform with them! As much as I would enjoy messing around I don’t want to make a big mess on stage.”

“We can talk about your future performances after your first one, okay?” Donghyuk offers.

“Okay, lets go.”

“You are going to do great,” BTS cheers for me.

I shake the tension out of my shoulders before following Ikon on stage. We get into our places in the dark before the lights start flashing and the music starts. We start moving, pumping our fists and doing exaggerated hip thrusts. They toss me the mic as they did before I’m so absorbed in the fun I go along with all of it like before and deep down pray that I’m doing as good as I think I am. The fans are screaming so I can’t be doing that bad right? In the idols section I notice that almost everyone is standing, clapping their hands and dancing to the music along with us. It’s honestly one of the most thrilling moments of my life.

When the song is over I feel a little sad but it only last for a moment before Rhythm Ta starts playing. I look over at Hanbin confused but he and the others just quickly move to their spots, I follow on their heels to get in my own. Yet again I go through the motions and join in randomly during the song, ignoring the fact that I shouldn’t be allowed to join in with the actual vocals. It’s over just as quickly as the last song, the lights go to another side stage allowing us to slip off without much notice. The minute we are off stage I’m bombarded by Seventeen who look like they’ve never been so excited in their lives.

“Noona that was so cool!” They all yell together like they practiced.

“Thanks guys but don’t you have to preform soon?”

Hoshi completely ignores the question, “When did you learn to dance? You should come dance with us!”

“Next time I come and visit okay?” I offer.

“Yes! What song do you want to learn or should I just teach you a little of each?”

“Why do you get to teach her?” Chan whines.

“Because I’m the leader of the dance unit!”

“Well you guys figure this out I have to check in with someone, I’ll text you guys later okay?” I give them a quick smile before rushing off to find a certain someone I was planning on avoiding a bit longer but decide I’ve tortured him enough.

I peak into their dressing room to discover it’s mostly empty except for some bum blond lying on the couch. I sigh as I walk in and flop myself on top of him. He jumps, “What the hell?”

“Is that how you greet someone who is trying to forgive you?” I tease snuggling into his side.

Realization creeps in and his arm wraps around my waist, holding me closer, “I’m sorry.”

“I know, I forgive you.”

“You shouldn’t, I was a real ass.”

“Again, I know but I don’t think you really meant it. You aren’t capable of such mean things.”

He kisses the top of my head, “How in the world can you be so amazing?”

“I would never describe myself as such but if I have to give a reason it’s because I have such amazing friends they are starting to rub off on me.”

“I have to go preform,” He groans glancing at the clock.

“It’ll be fun.”

“It would be better with you.”

I scoff, “I did my performance already, it’s my turn to go sit in the crowd and cheer.”

“You promise to cheer really loud for us?”

“Of course!”

So much fluff I don’t even know what to do with myself, I know this is short but I hope you all enjoy!

#bts #bts fluff #ikon #ikon fluff #big bang #big bang fluff #kpop fluff #kpop harem #seventeen #seventeen fluff #Seungri #Seunghyun

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a-skyfull-of-starz · 4 years

Text

A picture is worth a thousand words

@aspergerhero gave me the following prompt: For your Tumblr Collections on AO3 : Can you do a Tae x Gin with the prompts « photo » and « camera », and, well, this happened. It probably isn’t what you had in mind, so yeah, sorry about that. <_> (Sorry also that it’s so late, I was being repatriated last week, and that took up a lot of my time). Also also, this is only part one. I will write more and post more, once I’ve figured out where I’m going with this.

.....

“Well well, this is very indulgent, isn’t it?” Gintoki poked a pinkie into his ear. “We already have a manga, an anime and two live-action movies, and now we’re going to have Tumblr blog post written about us too? You sure you don’t want to do something a little more relevant? Like Dragon B*ll Z?” He withdrew the finger, examined whatever was stuck to the tip and blew it away. “You haven’t watched it yet?” The finger now found its way into a nostril. “Let me tell you, it has influenced our culture to such an extent, old grannies are saying ‘remember the time before G*ku?’. The lead has fabulous hair and loves food…a lot like me I guess. And no other show would have you watch fifteen episodes to see the outcome of a battle.” His hand was now inserted into his kimono as he scratched his chest. “You still want to write about us? Won’t your readers who are expecting a M*ss Effect post or a Shingeki no Ky*jin post be disappointed with reading about Gintama? Oh, well if you have a small following, I suppose that is exactly on par for Gintama. But I can’t promise that you won’t be disappointed by what you end up writing. Ah, you’re used to that too? Are you sure you aren’t actually a Gintama writer? They’re always disappointed.”

“Good morning,” a voice called from inside the flat.

“That’ll be our straight man,” Gintoki said. “Come on, it’s time to get to work.”

It was indeed Shinpachi at the front door. “Good morning Gin-san,” Shinpachi said, in the process of removing his sandals.

“Good morning,” Gintoki said. “I see you brought a guest. To what do we owe this pleasure, Onee-san?”

“You’re older than me,” Tae grumbled.

“Right, so I guess I’m the Onii-san in this scenario,” Gintoki agreed.

Tae gave a grim smile and Gintoki supressed a shiver. “Oi Four-Eyes, did you bring my sukonbu?” Kagura called from the living room, where she was eating her fourth bowl of rice.

“If you don’t have the money to buy sukonbu, what makes you think I do?” Shinpachi sighed, flopping onto the couch opposite the younger girl.

“I’ll kill you in your sleep,” Kagura said mildly.

“Now Kagura, you know young ladies shouldn’t make threats like that,” Tae said, still smiling. “If you do, it won’t be a surprise when it happens.”

“Right, sorry Boss,” Kagura said. “I won’t kill you in your sleep, Shinpachi.” She gave Tae an exaggerated wink and mouthed ‘I so will.’ Tae gave her a giant thumbs up in return.

“You’re my sister, shouldn’t you be protecting me?” Shinpachi squawked.

“Nahnah, your sister likes me better,” Kagura gloated.

Shinpachi slumped. “Yes, but you don’t have to say it,” he said.

“Don’t worry Patsuan, since the dawn of time, older sisters have killed their younger brothers,” Gintoki said comfortingly. “That’s why it’s better to be an only child.”

“It’s not as if I had a lot of choice in the matter,” Shinpachi said grumpily. “Say, Gin-san, who are all these people?”

“Your older sister Shimura Tae, Kagura the Yato that adopted us, and the giant dog named Sadaharu which was also adopted by Kagura,” Gintoki said. “My name is Sakata Gintoki, leader of the Yorozuya. The word ‘yorozuya’ means jack-of-all-trades or odd jobs. Basically, I will do anything for money.”

“I don’t mean like that and you don’t need to give so much exposition in one go,” Shinpachi said. “We are being read, no? And this isn’t a manga, the readers can’t exactly see us.”

“Tumblr blog post,” Gintoki explained, flopping into his seat behind his desk. “Some chick who named herself after a Coldplay song received a prompt and she decided to write this.”

“This is in English; will Westerners understand our humour?” Shinpachi wondered.

“Probably not the references, but they have straight-man-funny-man humour as well,” Gintoki said, once again digging in his nose. “Just look at the Two Ronnies.”

“That isn’t exactly the pinnacle of good Western humour,” Shinpachi said.

“Can we please get started?” Kagura asked loudly. “Edo’s Next Top Model is on in two hours.”

“Right,” Shinpachi said. “My sister is actually here as a client.”

Gintoki appeared to be raising an eyebrow. “That’s surprising,” he said. “I thought you hated me.”

“Oh I do,” Tae answered. “That doesn’t mean you haven’t been occasionally useful to me.”

“Compliment me some more,” Gintoki said. “So how can we help?”

Tae reached into her kimono and pulled out a photograph. She handed it to Gintoki. It was a photo of her, taken apparently from a long distance (judging by the grainy quality) and without her consent (she appeared to be mid-sneeze).

“And?” Gintoki asked. “I’ve always known you’re too unattractive to be taken as a bride.”

“This was left on my doorstep this morning,” Tae said, clamping a hand down hard on Gintoki’s shoulder. “And if you don’t stop insulting me, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

“Ow ok I’m sorry stop,” Gintoki winced. Tae released her grip. “I don’t see what’s so odd about this,” he said, rubbing his shoulder. “We all know you have a stalker.”

“The Gorilla didn’t do this,” Tae said.

“And you’re so sure of this because…?” Gintoki asked.

“It’s not his style,” Tae said. “Yes, he may break into my house, hide under my kotatsu, steal my underwear and harass me at work, but-“

“Yes I see, taking photos of you from a distance and then leaving them on your doorstep is totally beneath him,” Gintoki finished sarcastically.

“Maybe it’s a different gorilla,” Kagura suggested.

“Don’t be stupid, there’s no way we could get away with repeating the same joke over and over again,” Gintoki said.

“I don’t see why not, it’s gotten us this far,” Shinpachi said reasonably. “Heck, it’s what made the Goons famous.”

“Stop name-dropping ancient British comedy groups, no one is going to understand those references,” Gintoki said. “Wait, why am I being the straight man here? Shinpachi, you need to get your act together.”

“Ah, forgive me,” Shinpachi said shamefacedly.

“Well, there’s only one thing for it,” Gintoki said. “Before we discount the Gorilla completely, we ought to clear him from our list of suspects. Onee-san, you’d better be aware that this is going to cost you.”

“Don’t I get a family discount?” Tae asked. “Also, you’re still older than me.”

“You’re not my sister, are you?” Gintoki asked. “Come on, if we’re clever, this can be dragged out into a multi-chapter affair.”

....

And it will be dragged out into a multi-chapter affair, given that I have no clue where I’m going with this (sorry Gin-san). But anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this. Look forward to the next one, where the Yorozuya and Tae go to the Shinsengumi to confront Kondou, and Tae gets another threatening photo (probably called Hell Hath no Fury like a Woman Scorned). Kono bangumi wa goran no suponsa no teikyou de okurishimasu.

#gintama #sakata gintoki #shimura shinpachi #kagura #shimura otae #textpost #fourth wall breaks #part one

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