#so he moved out in uhhh idk 2018 or something like that and this sort of conversation never comes up in text with us

[bbeelzemon]

I havent really sat down and really talked to (texted) my brother in a while BUT i found out hes playing animal crossing (hes usually not much of a gamer, especially for nintendo games), which im very surprised about because i was literally wondering earlier today if he would even like this game, AND i found out that both him and his girlfriend hold the same political revolutionary ideals that i do! Neat!

[scrafty-crafty]

This draft is from JULY 18th 2018!! I don’t know why I never finshed/posted it, but uhhh, if any shancers are still around then... here.... take this unfinished 3 year old draft....

So while I am waiting here is an AU I have been thinking of all weekend. It's a shance abo/shifter AU (the abo doesn't really play much part, I just love it paired with wolf AUs)

Most shifters transform into wolves and as such they are usually called "werewolves" even if they are in fact not werewolves. Lance is a shifter, but unlike most other shifters, instead if shifting into a wolf, he shifted into a small little tiny, not at all threatening puppy dog (not sure what kind, but something toy-sized like Pomeranian or Maltese). He is also an Omega. Being a non-wolf shifter has him looked down on by other shifters and paired with being an Omega, it has lead to him being teased and bullied growing up bc kids are mean. So he generally avoids other shifters aside from his family (who are all wolf shifters).

One day Lance is playing in the park with Hunk and Pidge who are non-shifters and also have no clue that Lance is a shifter. It is generally something kept hidden from humans. Anyways they are playing frisbee because irony and when Lance is going to catch it he crashes into Shiro and sends them both tumbling to the ground. They both move to get up, but pause as they both realize the other is also a shifter (probably scent or something idk) and then after realizing that they have been on the ground on top of one another for way too long, they both scramble up embarrassed and Hunk and Pidge come running over to make sure Lance is ok (and neither fail to notice how hot the stranger Lance bumped into is nor how flustered both of them are). Lance starts apologizing and Shiro reassures him it's fine (it's actually more than fine, but Shiro doesn't let that bit slip out).

And so they part ways, rather awkwardly, and Pidge and Hunk proceed to tease him once the coast is clear of course.

A few days later, Shiro and Lance bump into one another again (this time not so literally) and they get coffee together or something and this time they actually introduce themselves and they start talking and Shiro mentions his pack and asks if Lance has one. Lance is noticeably less enthused about the topic and says he doesn't, but he is very close with his family and they are sort of their own pack (even if all of his other siblings actually do belong to their own packs, which is typically done once adulthood is reached and it's odd for someone Lance's age (around 21) to not be a part of one already).

Shiro can sense Lance's unease with the topic, but he is truly curious and asks why (if Lance doesn't mind sharing)

[kae-karo]

Hi I used to be into the phandom so much but fell out in like??? 2017??? Maybe??? Has anything big happened at all? Has anyone died/caught on fire ( ;) )??

oh dear god where do i begin??? well fortunately both our lads are still alive. let me just start with saying 2018 has been like. probably the best year for dnp to date? i’ll try to go in some kind of order here but bear with me i’ll touch on a bit of 2017 stuff and then go into 2018 for ya

so first of all i’m not sure when you left the phandom in 2017 but the lads moved out of their previous flat in april of last year (x) (april-ish it was def before they posted the vid)

also our dear lil dani snot on fire is no longer not on fire (x) so uhh is he on fire now ig? i mean yeah that’s arguably true

*insert phil’s badaladala sound bc on the scale of Significant Things i don’t think anything else massive happened*

day one of demon month, we got this amazing vid from phil wherein viewers (aka dan) picked his outfits n he looked like a snacc and a half (would’ve been 2 snaccs if he’d embraced the quiff sooner but that’s getting ahead of things) (x)

!!!! then a week or so later dan posted his vid ‘daniel and depression’ where he opened up abt his struggle with depression (x) which was imo the start of him just being more open about himself in general. he also started working with young minds (a mental health org for young people in the uk) and shortly thereafter with prince william’s program to help prevent cyberbullying

then! on the day love was invented! dnp released their board game, truth bombs (x - yeah i linked the second vid and not the first, and wot) which u can buy if you’d like but it’s a lot of fun (x)

then these idiots did a conjoined jumper baking challenge and didn’t fucking wear shirts under the jumper like what dumb gays idk (x) but it was real funny and Good Content

then early nov dnp announced the interactive introverts tour (x) and then uhhh it happened (like 80+ shows??? in a ton of countries???) (x) and they’re releasing the filming of it along with some bonus content like a director’s commentary and u can preorder it (x)

also pinof 9 happened which as a legacy phan u know is always a Thing but this year it was especially a Thing so i recommend catching up (x, and the bloops - x)

and phew okay that’s the majority of 2017 Important Events but before i go on to 2018 i’ll just recap a few important events from dapg (basically just some gamingmas stuff):

wherein dan smacked phil in the face

and phil crushed the presents but dan helped him up

where phil pretended not to remember gamingmas was happening, leading to the most iconic simultaneous heart eyes howell/love eyes lester to date

dnp singing baby it’s cold outside together whilst playing yasuhati

iconic pinof 9 moment

dnp play charades but it’s phil’s turn, and he’s touchy

the not my arms challenge!!! playing mario kart

okay! and before anyone starts yelling i know there’s more but god if i put every iconic thing in this post would break there’s Too Much so let’s hop into 2018 bc it’s gonna be a long one

first i cannot believe dan fucking gave phil a philussy cake and phil’s parents asked phil what it meant jfc dan (x)

THE EARRING!!! dan’s first selfie with the lil hoop and it never leaves and we love it (x)

phil is just trying to take a selfie and dan ruins it (x) spoiler alert: phil gets him back in colorado (x)

okay big sigh two large events happen in march: the first, dan’s ‘trying to live my truth’ vid (x) it basically dan saying ‘i’m still figuring things out but i want to be more authentic and true to myself, and also authenticity is important for some people to feel happy in life’ vid that a lot of people hyperfixated on the end line of, where he said he would go ‘laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and...something else in my mouth’ which people assumed meant a dick and therefore it was a subtle coming out vid, dan did a liveshow afterward (x) wherein he said that wasn’t the point of the vid and people got mad at him for ‘backtracking’ (if u want more of my Opinions on this feel free to check em out - x)

the second v v big event happened at the end of march when phil posted this iconic selfie that would be the downfall of the fringe (x) this has been titled the quiffening by some

shortly after that he began styling his hair in a quiff permanently which was probably the best decision he’s made since responding to one of his obsessed fans back in 2009

quick detour dan’s proud of his hubby (x) for winning fortnite and ‘fuxkung’ is now what ‘fucking’ autocorrects to in my phone

we also had dan releasing his merch (x) which is basically all black and themed around the eclipse logo and ‘don’t talk to me’, though he just released the exist line for world mental health day which has his quote ‘have the courage to exist’. he’s also mentioned possibly wanting to do more creative things like wide-necked or asymmetrical shirts dan just do a fashion line pls oh and he mentioned in a recent ls he might do an internet support group mug sometime soon

and then,,,,,pigeonfest. we watched. five hours. of phil livestreaming their patio. and literally nothing happened bc someone was like down on the street feeding pigeons so there weren’t even any pigeons for like 90% of the liveshow. but he literally didn’t talk it was just five hours of their patio and we all watched it. we all just watched it like the whipped phannies we are (x)

and then we got a brief but overwhelming dose of,,,,,,something from the easter baking vid (x) phil was hopped up on sugar and also confidence from his quiff and probably smth else as well

everything just blows up from there we have giving the people what they want (x) where, in preparation for ii (for which the underlying theme was ‘giving people what they want’), dnp reacted to pinof 1, swapped clothes, did the ‘yoga challenge’, recreated ditl manchester, ‘got a dog’, and made phil say fuck. honestly it shook the entire phandom to its core at the time but like. i’m less shooketh now? it’s sort of just fallen by the wayside in terms of how unpredictable dnp have been this year

then phil drops week in the life of dnp shortly thereafter which is just very very domestic even for them and their ditl style vids??? (x) phil filming dan in bed being one of the big demon highlights at the time

it’s right around this time too that insta stories start and my god it just goes jfc like i don’t even have the mental capacity to recall all the Iconic ones but i recommend checking out this playlist (x) which has all the ii tour stories goddamn there were a lot though they really put out that content didn’t they

in early may we get phil talking about why he changed his emo hair (x) and arguably the first official vid of the casual rebrand - phil’s more open and genuinely vulnerable about his fears about making a change to his hair, and i don’t think we’ve ever seen him that open before. the vids don’t stop being open though, with what dnp text each other (x) giving us coop and doop along with other iconic stories, dnp basically sitting on top of each other in that and other gaming vids on the tour bus, phil being very open abt his attraction to men (x) and the iconic final google feud vid with way too much of a specific kind of Energy (x) (ofc again there are More Vids but i don’t have the time/mental capacity to recap them all so i’m pickin the Big Ones)

monochrome mates (x)

phew okay so the tour in general as well - like if u don’t mind spoilers, i did a big ol analysis of what that was all about (x) but one of many many highlights is dan calling he and phil “best friends and soulmates” 

finally finally finally after months of waiting we also get some phil merch! (x) plant and animal themed, and he even released a lion plushie which sold out like instantly and he claimed he’d do more of but we have yet to see that. he says he’s got more ideas for other merch as well

now okay fast forward to october after the tour’s over bc i think the insta stories and the analysis cover it but then. then. then we get the pizza mukbang (x) thirty three minutes of dnp being more open and honest and casual than literally they’ve ever been on camera maybe ever, and i’m including liveshows in this statement. no holds barred, authentic vulnerable dnp. a religious experience

end of october spooky week hits us and i think the key vid to call out here is the creepy mind of phil lester bc i think it was another open honest authentic vid (x) where they talked a lot, casual domestic w.e got some insight into phil’s mind it was v good

and then they carve pumpkins jfc which was an experience (x) there were a lot of innuendos but also one of the first years they didn’t do a halloween baking in a while (though they have hinted at possibly doing christmas baking) idk i’m fully overwhelmed at this point lmao like a Lot happened this year

phew okay and Then just yesterday philly dropped his vid on why he went to (the) hospital (x) idk soz that’s a british thing i think like we say ‘the’ anyway. which i’ve been talking abt quite a lot lately but it was another very open and honest vid in which he expressed a lot of vulnerability and fear and perceived flaws and it was just a quality like. open vid.

jfc okay hope that helps obviously there’s a lot i didn’t mention, but this should at least get you caught up on some of the big stuff!! and while i’m at it have a few more Important Gifs from this year

a very important moment of communication whilst on tour, deciding whether or not they’re okay with doing a ‘third wheel’ pose

dan flinging himself off the chair in anger whilst playing getting over it

nose boop from phil’s instagram explore pages vid

subsequent nose boop from the extreme tetris vid

and a cheek boop from the overcooked 2 vid

dan pulling phil’s hand off the mouse in fear during spooky week, swamp simulator (shrek slender)

touchy!dan during pizza mukbang

oh god. okay. again, this is not everything, just a big list of some big events over the past year-ish. i’m sure i’ve missed some important stuff but i think i covered most of it! hope this helps ya get caught up dear!

[goodverbsonly]

The Last Jedi is a practice in nihilism, and I just...wish it wasn't.

This is a genuinely good novelization, even if personally, I want to see more than entirely possible into Kylo Ren's mind. I think if The Last Jedi wasn't the exactly opposite of what I was looking for in a Star Wars story, then I would have even really enjoyed this novelization. Alas, here we are, two and a half years later, and I am angrier about tlj than ever. To be honest, sort of as a disclaimer before I begin: I was completely ambivalent about tlj in 2018. There were things I liked (Yoda, Kylo Ren's hissy fit on Crait, The Nuns), and things I didn't like (Rey, Poe's attitude, the way the Resistance went from being an entire fleet on the heels of a "major victory" to 6 transport ships who had no contact from whatever remained of the Republic, seemingly abandoned); I even defended the plot - I thought it was perfectly precedented and in some ways, when executed well, I think a story about running out fuel and being saved at the last second is very good. Unfortunately, in this novelization, it sort of dragged - especially knowing that Finn + Rose would ultimately be unsuccessful. That, coupled with inisight into the characters, bring this book from a 4 to a three star read. (Also, and I'm going to talk about this moment in a second - towards the end, Finn reflects that DJ will have to learn the hard way eventually that not choosing a side in the face of evil will only hurt him in the long run, and this would be fine, if it was: Finn reflects, and realizes that was what he was doing, and he cannot do it anymore, INSTEAD OF Finn reflects, and pats himself on the back for not doing this anymore - anymore being, he must have had this realization in the lat 30 minutes). So the good of this novelization stands out to me in a couple of key sections: the beginning and the end. The novel opens with (view spoiler). This section is beautifully written, references characters from ANH who have been written out of the movie, and is thematically relevant to Luke's journey in tlj. I had high hopes that the rest of the novel would move me in the same way that the prologue did. The end covered both the boy from the end of tlj who uses the Force (the moment that tricked me into thinking I enjoyed the movie), and also the NUNS!!! I was so excited about the NUNS???? I love them! Wish this whole book was about these alien space nuns!!! and their relationship to the Jedi!!! and the Force!!! I know that's ridiculous, but wow. And also, it is well written, I think Jason Fry might be trying to refute some of the nihlism that occurs in tlj, and it's engaging for the most part. Wish I liked the story so I could give this book it's due. Okay, to be fair, this isn't my idea: my phil professor last spring was like: Yo, was it just me or was tlj wack? Like...nihilism (this is NOT a direct quote! and only half an idea, he almost immediately moved on with the lesson, realizing we did not have the time to start dissecting this movie, and so idk how he really comes down on it, but I've been thinking about it for the last year, and FINALLY, I've got it! I know what he was saying). There's one section that could have been really really cool if it didn't absolutely stand against everything that I believe Star Wars is about and it turned out to irk me, ticked off every single star wars nerve I have: In the Throne Room Scene, Snoke reflects on the beginning of the First Order and the Fall of the Empire: 1. Palpatine was planning a Contingency and this eventually turned into the First Order. 2. Oh we're doing: Palpatine was An All Knowing God again (if we recall this was my problem with tLords of the Sith) and it was Luck that Vader was able to stop him and not Palpatine's hubris. Boy does this SPIT in the face of the Original Trilogy (not to mention the prequels, which is really what I care about) - Luke didn't really save Vader and the Galaxy - Palpatine knew that the Empire would have to end so he started the First Order (known to him as the Contingency) to not only replace the Empire but to weaken it. Oh this makes me SO angry! Palpatine doesn't have any flaws (except that he's evil, I guess, but this isn't really a flaw as much as like, A Character). He is undone simply by the Will of the Force, not because he is, at the end of the day Human. Really minimizes Luke's impact, and I'm beginning to see why people were Big Mad at tlj now. Although, I don't think it was about this. 2b. is like...I guess they knew they were going to work Sheev back into the mix somehow, unforunate that Snoke is like...a Sheev clone or something. Still unclear about ros tbh. Glad the st is continually retconning itself in an attempt to show off. 3. In addition to it being just...an illconcieved mess, this is just...the villain believes in Nihilism, he believes in Will to Power, and there is just no solid refutation of this philosophy. I'm not saying that there needs to be for other people to find value in this story; I think tlj and the sq as a whole come down pretty heavy on the side of Neitzsche - the only refutation being that they are going to make themselves into powerful people through the power of love, but a) I do need a more solid refutation to find value in it, and b) I just don't think that's star wars. I do think there is a struggle between the light and the dark, but I don't thinks star wars had historically taken a stance of: the dark will always triumph. I don't think star wars works with that philosophical assumption, so tlj, which really wants to take that sort of position, has to shift and say: the darkside is always out there trying to squash out the light, and if we don't meet it on it's own terms (vie in the Power struggle of the universe), then it will overpower. This is seen in Palpatine manufacturing the Empire's own undoing in the Contingency, NOT JUST the rise of the First Order. This is The Resistance Fleet (a military organization) being specified to be a Weirdo But Brave Group of New Republic Defectors (or something) because the New Republic wouldn't take the First Order seriously (but if Palpatine built it, of course there was no chance) becoming nothing more than six transport ships with no one else in the galaxy at their side - no one except themselves, and they have to Fight, as Finn says. This is seen in Luke INSISTING that he can't save Ben. >:| Sir, you saved Darth Vader, I think you can save Ben Solo! The ending of the ot was the exact OPPOSITE of this stance: Luke does not fight Vader, he does not give in to his hatred. In fact, the rotj novelization specifies that Luke doesn't save Vader because he loves his Father but because he is a Jedi and it's the right thing to do. If Vader saving Luke "undoes" his mistake from rots, then uhhh...Luke wanting to burn down the tree with the Jedi Order undoes THAT sacrifice. Luke sacrifices himself to give the Resistance more time, but I've decided that you were all right: Luke should have had a better end, no matter how much it moves me when I see it. I think it's a trick. I think so much of this movie is a trick!!! . Also: I think Rey is overpowered and her connection to Ben and her connection to the Force is contrived. I don't like how little time she spends with the rest of the Resistance, I think there are too many characters. And that little boy gets too much credit for what Rian Johson was trying to say about Star Wars or the Force, especially since if it was about "democratizing the Force" as I read one reviewer describe it, uhhh, sir, the Force already is like that, please watch a Prequel I BEG of you! The above isn't really Jason Fry's fault, but I've never felt so clear and confident about why the st doesn't engage me until I finished reading this book. All in all: If you like tlj this is Good and I think You'll Really Enjoy this, but this review details why I didn't

[makumii]

Answers to last rb - End of Year Meme

First things first, did you have a good year? kinda???? it sure was interesting and the first half sucked balls..

How old did you turn this year? 21

Do you feel your age? I feel 14 and 36 at the same time - it sure is fun to be alive

Did your appearance change in anyway? finally dyed my hair again! (currently blue) Also ears pierced in december

Post your favorite selfie. jokes on u i dont make selfies

If you traveled, where did you go? spent a week in cologne at a friends place for gamescom and another week in the middle of austria on a farm! (vacation - wooohoo)

Which fashion trends did you love? i dont even know any trends that occured this year help

Which fashion trends did you hate? see above

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? very recent but that one fancy black coat i got myself for christmas (https://www.emp.at/p/malphas/397063.html)

What song sums up this year for you? Breathin - Ariana Grande but the Thomas Sanders cover

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? i dont even know what got releassed this year what is timeee

What was your favorite movie of the year? HOOOO boy okay: Klaus, Frozen 2, Joker and that’s about all that i remember

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? not really, i didnt have my eyes on many new faces this year

Favorite new TV show? She Ra probably?? Again, nothing overly new on that side |D Also not rly a TV show but I super got into critical role

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? Entrapdak all the way - those two basically killed me Also Critical Role (thanks B.) -> I’m only 40 episodes in the second campaign but BOY am I deep in

What food did you try for the first time? none as far as i’m aware?

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? uhhhhh i think my confidence got a boost in the second half of the year so i think that counts? Also ear piercings

What was one nice thing you did for someone else? sponsored an entire Christmas market visit for my best bro (Food and souvenirs included)

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? as cruel as it sounds, i broke up with my boyfriend which was quite freeing Also finally dyed hair again and I am LIVING

Did you develop a new obsession? Critical Role |D

Did you vote? Yeap

Did you move? Nope, but I might move out in 2020

Did you get a job? already had one, but thanks for asking <3

Did you get a pet? nope, only plushies

Do you regret not doing anything? OH Y E A H - there’s a bunch of things (not dancing with my maybe-crush at the christmas party, not breaking up sooner with my bf, and some other things i won’T remember rn but I am the master of not doing things and regretting it afterwards)

Do you regret doing something? probably, but i currently don’t remember; I’ll probably think of it during my next breakdown

Have you done anything that scared you? nope, didn’t do it because i was scared and now I regret not doing it |D

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? I don’t really get mad? But the biggest ball of negative emotions was caused by my breakup

Did you lose anyone close to you? my ex! we broke up and he didn’t want to stay in touch so there’s that

Did you fall in love? actually i might have; still working on figuring that shit out

Did you fall out of love? nope; even tho we only broke up this year it’s been over for me since the end of 2018

Did you start a new relationship? no, but there might be something in the works???????? IDK what to make of this situation

Did you go through a break up? ohhhh yeah - and it wasn’T as bad as expected (we already had a big major breakup at the end of 2018 so i already was prepared for the ‘final’ one)

Did you have to cut ties to someone? It wasn’t my choice unfortunately

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? the first person that came to my mind was important last year too so idk? no new people in my life

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? my ex (I love how he’s in most of the answers lmaoo)

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? heck yeah! if i had the chance to dance with that one dude?? I’d say yes immediately (he was kinda disappointed i said no so I SHOULDVE SAID YES)

What was the best moment of the year for you? have to name a few actually: - christmas party at work (including a mario kart tournament) - gamescom (and staying at a good friend’s place for a week!!) - christmas dinner at my granny’s bc i finally got to get back to my second half of the family) - my almost 1.0 GPA at school

What was the worst? - breakup (even if it wasn’t as bad, it still sucked) - my almost 1.0 GPA (SO CLOSE sklhgfsdköfjhskdö)

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? - the break up -> but i guess since i saw it comming it didn’t have as much power over me - a certain thing i might’ve done last year around christmas but wasn’t as bad as it seemed?? it’s all chill and just showed me some things about me that i wasn’t as certain of

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? actually no?? not that im aware of - okay maybe the maybe-crush accidentally helped me with my self confidence but uhhh idk if that counts or sth

What are you most proud of accomplishing? some sort of SELF WORTH got out of a toxic relationship

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? idk next

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? honestly i don’t know, i still love my friends and no one is better off all of a sudden? idkkkk

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? nope not that i’m aware of

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? even if i did make some I don’t remember them oops

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? maybe draw more? get back into piano playing? something like this also v important: 2020 me, dont let others ruin your self worth any further!!!!!! GO AND ROCK THOSE CLOTHES!!!!!!!!

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? I’m perfectly content here at home - the most adventurous I’d do is going to a friend’s place or something

What do you wish for others for the coming year? Lot’s of love and happiness, I wish for everyone to find their family and being able to surround themselves with people they love and that care about them!

What do you wish for yourself? That I stop being such a scared lil shit Srsly, if smn cute wants to dance with you u better say yes!!!!! Also that I can find more parts of my true self

[lordhenry]

survey 20

What did you last eat? Lasagna and iced mocha.

How long does it take you to fall asleep? A long time. I’ve been trying out some sleeping/relaxation pills lately. Up to 5 capsules a day which sounds ridiculous, so I haven’t been following that rec.

What are you looking forward to? The end of this job.

Did you have a weird dream last night? I might’ve had one, I always do.

When you close your eyes what do you see? Black.

Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know? I ask questions.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right thing. I already do things right, I wouldn’t worry much about that.

In what way are you your own worst enemy? I’m a harsh critic. 

What white lies do you often tell? That I’m fine or that something’s fine, etc. Just to avoid explanations.

What activities make you lose track of time? Browsing the internet, for sure.

What bad habits do you want to break? Having a bad sleeping habit.

When do you feel most like yourself? When no one’s home and I’m in a good mood and the coffee maker’s brewing, there’s a slight rain, my cat is cuddly, the temperature’s just right, and everything is neither this nor that.

When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” Not if I genuinely wanted to help. Yes if I really had to.

How do you know when it’s time to continue holding on or time to let go? When I stop being happy, let go. I’m bad at keeping things.

How do you find the strength to do what you know in your heart is right? ...Yeah, how? I always do what I think is logical.

How do you deal with someone in a position of power who wants you to fail? Be better.

Who do you tell your secrets to? No one. What are secrets anyway? I don’t think I keep much. There’s certainly not very many secrets in my life to keep in the first place.

Who do you live with? At the moment, I’m by myself in this apartment, temporarily. Technically, I sort of “live” with Pamela, but not necessarily as we don’t sleep in the same house.

Do you think you were raised well? I was raised fine for a while, until my nanny died and my mother took me back and after that I pretty much raised myself (in terms of motherly/caring aspect, money-wise I had (still have) the full support of my parents obviously). With how I turned out, I’m pretty glad I had this independency? But also it’s kinda sad to think of? lol.

How do you handle stress? I do things I like. I drink a lot of coffee, maybe some alcohol, read a bit, do interesting things or maybe nothing at all. It really does not matter at this point because I sometimes cannot tell when I am stressed and when I am fine. I’m always just fine. //???? does that make sense?

If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other which one would you pick? Money can be earned. True love, I’m not very sure. I suppose I’ll go after true love. I’m a capable person, I believe I’ll go far by myself. Plus, if true love would be able to make me a happier person, who’s to say money would matter THAT much? No idea.

Do you think you know the meaning of true love? I might not. I probably don’t. But so far, love to me is unconditionally being there and supporting somebody regardless of their shortcomings but NOT wrongdoings. If you love somebody, you wouldn’t be supporting that.

The last time you kissed someone…was it someone you see yourself with? Not anymore.

If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating, would you lose them? I don’t think my parents would do that actually, but if they were to hold me back from loving somebody.. it wouldn’t sit well with me.

Be with someone cute and a jerk or ugly and kind? Ugly and kind. You can be the cutest fucker in the world, but if you’re a dickhead, you can exit.

Kids then marriage or marriage then kids? Marriage. The end. Haha, maybe a kid or two after a while. I don’t think of that yet. I don’t even think of marriage, but it would be a nice thing to happen to me.

Do you see yourself as “good” person? I’m neutral-good, I think. I’m not 100% lawful, and I don’t go out of my way to do good things.. but likewise, I don’t do bad things on purpose as well.

Are you the type that would rather stay at other people’s houses or have them at yours?  I’d rather be the guest than have a guest over. At least I’m sure I know how to behave like a guest. I don’t feel comfortable having guests at home (except for my best friend). 

Are you excited for the future? Terrified.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say? ......Why?

Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at? Both.

Who’s the last person of the opposite sex to hug you?  I don’t remember, honestly.

What’s a happy time you’ve had in the past week? Uhhh. When I started feeling okay about this new environment.

Where did you go in a car last? I took an uber from Resorts World to the mall.

When did/will you graduate? 2018.

When are you moving next? October this year or late September most probably, to Leicester. Temporarily anyway.

Why are you stressed? Mainly work and my constant lack of sleep for which my sleeping pills are not working.

Where do you keep your birth certificate? I keep official copies of my important documents such as that in my personal file box, as well as digitally.

What is the closest orange object to you? Glue (its packaging at least).

How many books are in your room? I’m not in my room and have not been in my room for 2 weeks now. But back home, I have no idea. I have lots.

Have you ever been IN a wedding? Yep.

Could you handle being in the military? Maybe as a medic or medical volunteer or something like so.

What is something you’re really good at? Thinking of ideas, especially when a topic/subject is ready. And double-checking like a paranoid maniac.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? Indirectly.. A few days ago.. monday? I can’t remember but definitely this week at work. A superior told me I looked like someone else from a different department (which irked me a bit ahaha) but she said not to worry cause she’s beautiful.

Is there someone who was important to you at one point, but isn’t part of your life anymore? Is there anything you’d like to say to that person? Yeah and no.

What’s your current problem? I need a minibar.

Are you wearing anything shiny? My diamond ring.

What is something you disliked about your day? The tax profiles I had to create for a superior too lazy (or maybe just slow) to have it done on time.

Will tomorrow be a good day? I think so. No work on Friday so yeah.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Work 8-5. Sleep early.

Do you have any plans for college? Yeah. Almost finished with it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Walking lmao.

How old are you? 18.

Have you ever received a text message that made you cry? Yep. Pretty sure I shed tears when Gera was on his way to the airport or something.

Where did you go last? Uh in general today, just work. But literally only 10 minutes ago I had to stop this survey and rush to the comfort room because my nose randomly bled (like a faucet tbh) as I was typing.... freaked me out.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? I guess it was pretty recent. 

What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside? It’s warm, I think that might be why my nose just bled randomly (but the aircon was on... idk). No.

Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently? Yeah.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down? Not today.

What does your last text message say and who is it from? From Ian, he asked if we were all fine, and said it’s getting warmer in Dubai.

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from? I am not sure how easily, I rarely get scraps and bruises. But I do have one right now. I had my blood drawn, the Dr had trouble with my vein.

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions? Depends on who’s asking and how much I would like to converse with them/elaborate.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? Whatever’s thick.

What’s your favourite scent of air freshener? Green apples or something clean and fresh.

How often do you wear make-up? I don’t bother during free days/weekends, but for work I have to wear makeup.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving? I do this a lot.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse? No, but I want to.

Do you have any friends who you can’t decide if they’re attractive or not? Yes. I also can’t decide how ugly I am.

What’s the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache? Take meds.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work. I’m interning right now, it’s a very weird responsibility.. it’s a bit all over the place. Compensation & Benefits under HR department, sometimes helpdesk - explaining loan requirements, accepting them, giving passwords, resetting passwords, fixing meal plans and RFID concerns so it’s almost IT but not really, then sometimes it’s creating tax profiles.. or encoding.. or just simply photocopying. I don’t get what I’m really supposed to do at times except help out? Random shit. It’ll only be for another 2 and a half months anyway.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? I don’t wanna waste my time by Joji tbh.

Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size? More like, gained. I went up one size. From 2 to 4. (Sometimes even 6 tbh.)

What’s your favourite kind of bread? White or wheat. Idk banana bread is good too, I like bread.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get? Few weeks ago, plain cheese.

You have to choose one: cats or dogs? Cats. I’ve got a Siamese.

How do you travel to and from work? Bus.

What do you think is the first thing people notice about you, when they meet you? They say I’m: quiet, intimidating, scary, blank, unapproachable, etc. lol.

Do you believe in God? How about ghosts? Aliens? God, I’m not very sure, but it would be nice to find him/her/it. Ghosts.. I can’t tell, I had an experience once when I was alone at home, but I like to think that I’m not sure, that it could’ve been imagined. Aliens, sure. There’s so much we haven’t explored.

What did you have for lunch yesterday? Shrimp, I think.

What does your last text message from someone of the same sex say? "Can’t open the door, just come out.”

Have you ever told anyone you never wanted to see/speak to them again? Did you mean it? Probably.

Do you drink tap water, or do you prefer it bottled? Bottled.

Are you unhappy, for any reason at all? Yeah.

Do you regret your last relationship? To an extent, but not really.

Can you find 3 items in the room that are white? Pill bottles, nasal spray, my earphones.

How about 3 items that are red? Bottle cap, Burberry purse (technically a bit of a plum colour but close enough), jewellery box.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to initiate a conversation with you? What was the topic of conversation? Probably Jeremy, idk something random probably. We converse frequently nowadays, but mostly random unimportant bullshit.

Have you ever been told that you’re awesome? Yeah.

What swear word do you use the most? Fuck. I try not to.

What colour is the carpet in the room you’re in? No carpet in my room, but downstairs it’s black and white.

Would you go out with the last male that Facebook messaged you? No.

Tell me about one of your most embarrassing moments. When I had my physical exam last Friday, oh my god. The doctor had to check my breasts for lumps, and etc. I had to get naked. On the outside, I was blank and just did everything the doctor asked, but inside I was dying of embarrassment lmao.

Do you consider yourself to be an attractive person, or do you feel unattractive compared to others around you? And if you feel unattractive, what do you think it is that makes you feel that way? It really depends. There are days when I feel uglier than usual. There are days when I think I look nice. I want to say I don’t care, but I do. What I think makes me feel this way is ?? I dunno? don’t we all feel like this to some degree?

Think about the first person you had a relationship with. Were you ‘in love’ with that person? Would you take him/her back? No. I thought I was, but then again when do I ever know how to feel about other people idk?