#so hopefully it wont be too difficult for me to get done.

[orcelito]

I think the nice thing is that I was not violently angry today like I was yesterday. I was just #SadboyHours for nearly my entire shift bc I was on shift alone for most of it, and that is not very fun on new years day :(

[drdemonprince]

hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

[purgemarchlockdown]

Really sad I (probably) wont be able to finish my idea for the day 29 prompt in time…for some reason that song is really hard to thumbnail. I dunno if its because the song itself is hard to come up with images for or cause Ive been so tired recently…might be both.

I wanna keep it Vaguely a surprise since Im really excited to get it done but fuck it Im stuck and I dont know how to do it, so im going to Ramble;

I have No Clue How To Storyboard Animal.

I have Some plans (specifically for one part that. im so…very excited to finally get to draw…hopefully I execute it right the idea has been in my brain for WEEKS)

But the song is just…weirdly difficult for me to think of concepts for. That and also Amane’s MVs (and milgram MVs in general) have Very Strong Visual Theming. The Visual Identity of both Magic and Purge March is so very strong.

That and trying to find how to include the symbolism stored in those two is a Time Alright. So its both trying to find a theme that would strongly resonate with the song And be able to incorperate a lot of the symbolism.

Best idea I got is…vaugely fairyaleish, cloak + bow + the black shirt because Im now 98% sure thats purposful symbolism, gets the main big costume symbolism in Amane’s MVs while also fitting visually (atleast…to me) plus beasts and terrifying monsters that lurk in the woods just fit nicely into it.

(I would like to mention: when I was doing initial brainstorming my brain went “why are you making something so eurocentric” and I panicked about that for two days before going “WE’RE NOT EVEN FROM THE FUCKING WEST!! PLUS KOTOKO HAS RED RIDING HOOD THEMING!!!” God- it is so very important to kill the annoying twitter user in your brain)

It fits nicely with the intro too its just…the rest is uh…not working out. I am getting ideas for it now after writing all of this so thats fun. If anyone has suggestions id like to hear it, Ive been planning this for actual weeks and I havent even gotten past the thumbnailing stage

[cloudbattrolls]

Scattered

Etuuya Vannyn | Dormir Facility | Present Night

TW: disassociation, trauma-related memory issues

“The thing is.” Tuuya said, slowly, picking over their words like a vulture over a corpse. “I didn’t want to be here.”

They leaned back in the plush couch of the therapy room, legs outstretched, cane loosely gripped in one hand.

Serine looked at them patiently. She was good at not making it look artificial, they thought, but also good at not making it too intense, of trying too hard to understand. 

They hoped the place paid her enough for a pair of eyes like that.

“Not because of you, or because of therapy.” They added. “That would make sense, right? It would be nice if it made sense that way. If it was as simple as running from my feelings. I know all about that.”

Tuuya closed their eyes, holding their head in their hands.

“I really wish it was that simple.”

—

I know how I came to Dormir, but I don’t remember.

You’d think the two were the same, wouldn’t you?

I know I took a ship. I know I stood on the deck, leaned on my cane, presumably watched the island come up in the distance.

But I only know that.

It is like a story I have told myself.

It is difficult to think I was actually there. 

—

“You see, I am being haunted.” Tuuya said conversationally.

Serine winced. 

“Tuuya. We didn’t find any signs of a ghost.”

They frowned. “No, that can’t be right. There has to be something.”

How had she known to look? 

Oh, right, she’d been told.

They must have told her.

“There’s nothing there. Sorry.”

“No, I, no. I mean. There has to be -“

She hesitated. 

“You can ask our psychics yourself.”

She said, calm again.

—

I know who I am.

I know who I was, as well.

There are so many things for me to hold onto.

So I must be possessed, for I feel my grip weakening all the same.

It must be that.

—

“No, I shouldn’t trouble them.” The matron said, eyes closing. “I need to trust you. Trust them. Trust someone.” They said, slightly desperate.

“I…I do not think I can trust myself. If it isn’t a ghost I’m possessed by, then…”

Serine looked gentle, sympathetic. That was good. They weren’t being annoying…

“Your disassociation is getting worse.”

She knew that’s what it was? How did she -

They must have told her.

“It’s impacting your memory, I think. At least, memories that are linked with it. Tell me the names of your children.”

“Uunive, Ailene, Florah, Melina, Crimew, and Helixe.” Tuuya recited immediately.

“Your quadrants?”

“Channi, Jaskir, Kamala, and Vrayan.”

“Your brothers?”

“Tantor.”

Serine nodded.

“You forgot Gallen. This supports my theory.”

Tuuya squinted. “Gallen?”

Their eyes widened.

“Gallen…”

He was there, he was there when -

—

They laid on the floor and realized part of them was outside their skin.

Hm. That seemed bad.

Why had they come apart?

They tried to make those worms go back into their skin.

They weren’t moving.

Why weren’t they moving?

Serine stood over them with a spray bottle. 

“I’m sorry. We had to take precautions.”

Right. Tekras’s immobilizing spray…

Hopefully they hadn’t hurt anyone, not like they had before when they'd been possess -

—

Tuuya stood up, gasping, and they were…outside?

In the sun. It was daylight.

For a moment they basked in the warmth, as most undead were wont to do.

They were forgetting something…

“Do you know how you got here?”

Serine again. Covered in day gear.

Led down a hallway. Taking their free hand to guide them. Curious faces.

“That was me, wasn’t it…” they trailed off, murmuring. “How novel…”

—

I know who I am.

I know who 

I know

There is someone else in my head

There must be an explanation 

I have too many people 

Relying on me!

Kaningård needs its head matron -

— 

“You need you, Tuuya.”

They blinked. 

Back in the therapy room. 

“I’m not sure I’ve ever done myself much good…” They said with a nervous laugh.

“Then you should start.” Said the indigo calmly but firmly.

“You’re staying here for two weeks, at least. Your cavern has been notified. The place will be well cared for in your absence. We will meet your needs for blood.”

“Oh.”

Tuuya said, ears lowered.

“I don’t - I can’t decide for myself?” 

Their tone was pleading.

The bald woman looked at them, sympathetic but stern.

“You have lost your troll form over a dozen times since you’ve been here and keep not remembering how and when it happens when you reform again. You are quite literally unable to hold together during any discussion of your trauma. You cannot go on like this.” 

The worm swarm blinked.

“Oh.”

The highblood softened slightly.

“We are working on ways to help you. We have asked others for their input. There is hope.”

Tuuya laughed, sad and amused alike.

“Oh, I know. If only it could put me back together.”

Unbeknownst to them, their hand started to break apart. 

Serine, her own hands gloved, calmly pointed it out to them.

Tuuya stared at the white worms writhing and shedding their dark gray skin, exposing the bones. They should be worried…but it didn’t feel real.

It should feel real, right?

Vaguely, they tried to think themself back together.

The worms stopped moving, though they didn’t re-knit into their mimicry of muscle.

Serine looked pleased. Tuuya smiled faintly.

Well, if she was happy, they ought to keep trying.

It never did to let someone down.

[minniepetals]

hi minnie!!💕 this may be a odd question but how do i deal w unfair & lowkey racist [not to be that person but this suspiciously only affects me & other poc] teachers LOL

i’m 18 & in my last year of school rn, i know i wont graduate any time soon bc my teachers are being so damn unfair w my grades, like not giving me important points for my grade that i would technically deserve..i do my homework, participate in class, send in essays, present presentations & my exams are also within the average but when it comes to confronting my teachers on why, they’ll just tell me that i need to participate more, that they LiKe me [so fake] & i really just need to see this as a mOtIvATiOn for the next semester but like?? how is that a motivation?? i’m literally already trying my best but it’s so discouraging to not see the results i worked my ass off for, especially when they’re doing this every. single. time., i’m not trying to be disrespectful, really, but i don’t need them to 'like' me or give me my points when they feel like it, i need the points now so that the principal can give me permission to even sit the exams for my graduation & not even giving me valid reasons or examples on how do i could do better? idek what to do atp i just feel like screaming & throwing up, my whole revolves around school and i just want to be done w it already to study something i’m actually passionate about but i obviously can’t do that if i’m not graduating so..yeah it’s just a mess idk maybe it’s just all in my head & the only thing i need is a reality check but i thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask, you honestly became my role model in a way, you’re a genius and manage to write these masterpieces along studying psych so hopefully i’ll be like you one day does that sound weird??

first of all i'm so sorry this is happening to you and second of all, i'm so proud of you for going to your teachers to ask how you can do better because that step is very important! also third, asdfghjkl the fact that you see me as a role model?? blessed and honor seriously 💗

i think the best thing you can do here is going to your counselor and let them know what's up because most times when you have these intuitions, it's correct. if anything, you can just try to get a second opinion, especially from someone else who's supposed to help and guide you (besides your teachers). if you find that they can't help you, you should definitely tell your parents and have them advocate for you because education is important and i would love to get news on you being able to graduate this year. luckily it isn't too late yet, i'm sure you've still got time to improve on whatever it is you've got to do in order to finalize your graduation.

if your parents can't get through to your teachers and if your guidance counselor is unable to help, get an appointment with your principal (along with your parents because that pressure will help them actually make a move with the authority of your parents) and ask them what's up and how you can help your own self because clearly these teachers aren't doing much.

eventually, and hopefully, the teachers will understand that you're actually serious about this because clearly they aren't taking you seriously. you shouldn't have to worry on your own about this, bub, you're still young and the adults around you should be helping you rather than being the reason to your stress (though i know that can definitely get difficult and complicated).

just try to find other options that will help you get through to your teachers. someone will have to eventually step up and take you seriously

i wish you luck and i hope that things go well 💗

[vaugarde]

2, 4, 23, 27 and 50 for the oc asks!!

already answered 4!

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

it changes with the week really but rn its predictably castor LMAO. i think abt him a lot

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

first one to come to mind is bates! how she changed is kinda spoilery so ill be vague, she was originally just gonna be comic relief and not important to the prequel at all, just a side character. she's basically crucial to the backstory of the prequel now and is castor's best friend initially (i havent posted art of them yet but!! its been sketched but it got deleted bc it was on a different program but i care abt em so expect em at some point lmao) she's still got a goofy concept in being a merchant that only sells trash but gets just as violent as kecleon if you steal it, but other than that... damn girl

(valerie also sorta counts for this ig but she hasnt really changed at all in terms of Her Deal and personality. its just that she was a side character instead of a main one. she only lasted as a side character for like a day)

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

idk if it counts but goodbye to a world and sad machine by porter robinson inspired me to actually do something with starfall (idea has existed since middle school). so u could say asha and skylar technically hehe. otherwise tho idk ive never heard a song and made an entire character around it. sometimes itll influence what they do or inspire me to tweak their arc tho

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

WAH ok ok so like. once the semester is done (bc holy shit i have way too much to do rn) i may just say fuck it and start writing starfall. im really bad at the outline stage so im thinking if i just write a first draft immediately, then weigh it and do a ton of rewriting and reformatting itll just inspire me to write more and just get it done. im feeling so bad for not posting bc i wanna talk abt these guys in more detail sjdklfjsdf

if not that then im absolutely starting @bugsofpetalroot. that one is very low stakes and will mostly be decided by ask prompts i think, its very laid back slice of life besides the few story arcs i have in mind (which will wait bc i want yall to know the characters first and the first one is pretty heavy) i wanted to do it earlier but i just have wayyy too much going on and i wanna spend my free time on quick stuff like mlp designs.

i also have a pokemon soul silver nuzlocke story i really wanna do!! the run itself is done i just gotta outline and make it fit as an adaptation (tons of characters gotta get cut bc i used a rotation team oof.) hopefully that wont be as difficult tho bc its based on a pre existing setting and stuff. most of the characters are figured out. no idea when its happening tho i have pmd oc brainrot

[blissedbaby]

im trying so hard but its so difficult i dont know how to love i just wish im doing it right

if it comes naturally then that must be love right

if your natural instinct is to go out of your way for someone and care for them and spend time thinking about them when your apart

if you change bad habits within yourself because you want to be a good person for them

if you try and do things you find difficult because you want them to be happy and you want to get over your own fears too...

honestly ive always been so scared of love, growing up i never felt worthy of love and i always thought there was something wrong with me

i used to hide away in my room and think about all the things i was missing out on, all the things that i could experience if i was more attractive or more fun and interesting.

i never had a good perception of men growing up, (apart from my grandad) but growing up around my father and seeing how he treated me and my mum i always thought all men were that way, i decided around the age of 12 that not only was i unloveable but that i didnt want to be loved, growing up in the household i did, seeing how my dad loved my mum meant i was scared of love

when i was in my early teens i did always feel insecure, seeing all my schoolfriends get boyfriends and always talk about boys, i wasnt popular or pretty i was the funny girl, the girl people would always be "having a laugh with" but looking back i dont think that i was funny i think i was just a good person to have a laugh at

around 16 i decided that i could do better with myself, i dyed my hair dressed how i wanted to and actually learned how to apply makeup, obviously after this my experience as a teenage girl changed, people started to make fun of me less and i was actually treated like i was a human being by the girls at school who looking back seriously used to take the piss out of me

after this change though i actually felt worse than i did initially, although externally i may look different, internally i still have all of my old insecurities

i can never believe that im pretty or worthy of any type of romantic love, i blame my childhood for that

and the worst part

now that im experiencing in my vision, true love for the first time ever, i cant even come to accept it...

i guess maybe i just dont want to rush it, i know i tell him i love him, and i do, i love him so much more than he knows but at the same time i would wait years upon years for him to fully feel like he can love me back 100%, i hope i would make a good girlfriend and hopefully one day im deserving of that

i know he does care for me, and ive never known anyone like him ever ive never had the fortune to encounter anyone as fascinating and thoughtful and supportive as him

i wonder what i have done in a past life to be able to deserve this in this life, and i know its selfish to say but i love that i get to see a side of him thats rare to others, i feel like we were made for eachother

i hate crying infront of him, i dont want him to think im weak, but in so many ways i have to admit that i am, a small part of me is still that insecure 13 year old who always felt unworthy of love

i wish in the future i feel more secure within myself to not be so afraid and worried about things that wont happen

i love him, hes shown me things and feelings that i never thought i was capable of, and these 7 (almost 8) months have been the best of my life, im forever grateful for his presence in my life, thank you for healing me

[xxclutch45xx]

You know, it occurs to me that I've never come out officially on this site. There's a lot to talk about, including the fact thatmy previous experience on here, around a decade ago if I remember right, made me afraid to come out at all. The people I had encountered made it very clear that my experiences weren't valid or real in trans spaces, and I didn't even interact directly with anyone. I so often saw them telling off other ppl who were trying to explore the same things I needed to explore, so I simply was too terrified I wouldnt be accepted in any gender conconforming space. But at this point, all these years later, I have a much more solid understanding of who I am and how to avoid certain types of ppl, the ones who think gatekeeping is in any way positive to any community. All of this to say, I've DONE my self exploration, and I know how I feel, even if I don't necessarily know what the correct term for it is.

So, for the time being, I use the term Genderfluid. I know some days I feel more fem and others more masc. I never feel FULLY masc, I definitely have a more feminine lean if that makes sense. I've been using genderfluid for a few years now, and though it diesnt feel like anything special necessarily, it also doesnt feel GROSS AND WRONG. I still have more exploring to do, but my living situation kinda wont allow it, so I'm a bit stuck currently.

Hopefully this helps people get to know me a bit better, if I still have active followers that is... I haven't noticed much activity sonce returning to the site other than bots constantly following me.

Oh, and as for pronouns... I don't really know what ones I want to use. I enjoy she/her, I use he/him only at cetain times, but I've been curious about neopronouns. I'll have to see how they feel, testing them is very difficult in my current situation.

[tannithvibes]

just a heads up, there won't be any nightly writing excerpts here for a lil bit! ive got two non-borderlands projects that i want to get updated first

[brightgoat]

What's it like to make good stories? With fans enjoying it, watching it, examining it, etc.? What was it like to start out? Did you think you'd get this far? Do you even feel like this is far? Are you impressed? In awe of your creation? In awe of yourself, who brought meaning into the world? Breathed life into these figures on the screen and page. Do you feel pressure? Do you get the nagging fear that somehow you're not enough? Does that ever go away? Or are you plagued with new unknown fears?

That is a lot, hopefully what I write will answer most of it? Also thank you for asking, I might have stuff to get off my chest on the topic.

vvvvvvvv

On one hand, hell yeah. My narcissistic side is in awe of my own goddamn farts. I feel like a million dollars. Holy shit the sun shines for me and for me only.

Now on the other hand, on my SANE side; I don't feel like I am an accomplished or a complete creator. I post art and ideas online, but I've still a long way to go before I can feel satisfied with my creative outlet.

I have created premises for stories, or the beginnings of stories, plans, but I have never completed a single one. And most of these stories, I never posted online. I want to change that with my current project, The Unbound Prometheus.

I'm grateful for the interest people have in my premises and ideas, to be quite honest I am overwhelmed that people would get so invested in just small comics and doodles. I do feel accomplished in the sense that I've amassed a following, to which I am grateful for, this is gonna sound pathetic but my creative outlet online is like... the thing that gives MOST meaning to my life.

That said, the hype I've built up for my stuff, not only to my audience but to myself, does kind of put a lot of pressure on myself. I've had a large following since I was very young and it definitely built up a fragile ego within me, haha.

I'm thankful that you indirectly imply I've done all the things you listed, but it's also true that I have the nagging fear its not enough. It'll never be enough. Nothing I've created will truly ever be enough for me, it's built into my personality to think that way. I'm a rookie writer, a beginner, this is my first project that I genuinely want to make something special out of, and somehow I expect myself to be on the writing level of Arcane or FMA;B, which I'm not, and I will not be for a very long time. My expectations and rationality are at constant odds.

Writing is so difficult... to balance 'show don't tell', being able to communicate a message without it feeling like I'm hamfisting it down peoples' throats, to build a narrative that naturally flows, to know when and where to put certain events. And to be able to keep it within my natural limitations.

And good fucking lord, I've already quit trying to be ANYWHERE near historically accurate, haha.

And I also hope it wont take me too long that everyone moves on. But... seeing my progress so far.... oh lord......

I'm plagued by idealism, fantasies of being great, and I mean GREAT, TOO GREAT for it to be realistic.

I'm not sure if any of this answered any of what you said, but uhhh- it was good to let out.

[prof-peach]

Professor! Something is wrong with Michi! (Litten) he has this green...slime? Coming down from his mouth, it might just Be puke or something Else, But Michi has Been sick before, and this has never happend, he is also really dizzy and doesen't seem to Be sure of where he is, If i'm not closet to him he goes into panic mode, what should i do? I've Been meaning to take him to a poke-center but he HATES poke-centers and i don't want to Make him More uncomftrable than he already is,what do i do?

You dear need to get that pokemon to a centre, or a doctor. That set of ailments sounds very dubious, and you need to do the right thing for your partner, AND for the health of all pokemon who come into contact with them, for all we know at this point is that what Michi has is infectious and dangerous to others. y’all know whats more uncomfortable that Michi’s current state? Death. A lot of diseases and illnesses left untreated, or even just left too late can be fatal or debilitating, I don’t mean to alarm of course, chances are this is just a bit of a viral infection or something harmless enough, but you MUST get them to a professional when symptoms like this show up. 

We are very easily lulled into a sense of thinking that all pokemon are these hyper intelligent and almost human like beings, but sometimes (especially with younger individuals such as your michi) we need to act a little tougher to get them to the specialists they may need. 

Its like getting a young kid to go get their vaccinations, they won’t go by choice, like, yeah it sucks but if you don’t get them done, all who come in contact with your unvaccinated kids are at risk. The adults (you)  have to make rational and logical choices to give the individual (michi) the best chance at a healthy happy life. This is exactly one of those cases. 

Pokemon don’t always like going to the doctors, I know, trust me i’ve been bitten and kicked and whipped and chewed on enough to understand this. It doesn't make it any less important to train our beloved partners to at least understand that its sometimes scary at first, but necessary. 

For this particular instance, he sounds very sick, enough to warrant keeping him in his ball until you get to a secure treatment room with a nurse or doctor to look them over. They're quite trained in handling even difficult patients, so you shouldn't be too worried, so long as you tell them that Michi is a little uneasy and may lash out in his confused state. Once he’s been diagnosed and helped hopefully, get him well and medicate or do whatever is needed according to your practitioner. 

Once well again, you need to help him associate the pokemon centre with good stuff. Training a pokemon isn't just attacks and basic commands like ‘sit’ and ‘stay’, its also about them being able to be safe, get checks when sick, and not hurt people trying to help them. Take them to the centre, just get into the building, maybe hang out a while, have a soda, meet a friend, that kind of thing. If its quiet ask the staff if they can interact with your partner, give treats, get to know them. Its very important that you can build a sense of trust to pokemon centres at Michi’s young size now, because I promise you an Incineroar that doesn't want to do something just flat out wont, it takes a LOT to get them to treatment if they've built up a dislike for the facilities. fixing this dislike at his earlier age will help in the long run, and I advise you to do this once treatment is over and your buddy is better.  I do hope you two can find out whats up, I can’t diagnoses an issue such as this from a distance, this is an illness that requires hands on observations and testing of samples, somethings not right here at all. be brave, be responsible, do right by your buddy, things will be just fine if you can get them the correct care. 

[bonny-kookoo]

Bittersweet (JJK x Reader) ☕️💜🔞

🍪 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🍪 Genre: Barista!AU, Mutual pining, smut because this is my content we’re talking about

🍪 Warnings: mentions of sickness, mentions of vomiting, best boi Koo, coffee puns, casual y’all during sex, protected sex because we have our lives under control in this household, overstimulation, rough! Koo, spanking (like..once), doggy-style because why not, reader rides Koo for a moment before he takes the upper hand again, they’re just being a mess ok

🍪 Summary: every day she’s his favorite costumer. So when she’s suddenly absent; what’s he supposed to do without any way to contact her?

Jungkooks eyes began to sparkle as she stepped inside, wrapped up in a fluffy brown jacket, a scarf around her neck.

His scarf to be exact.

Now, they both weren't a couple- but close enough. He'd given her his scarf the day before as she'd forgotten hers at home; and due to the cold weather outside, he'd immediately gotten concerned over her health. He knew that she hated the cold- so he'd gifted his own protection against the harsh wind outside to her, uncaring about himself in that moment.

It gave him a weird sense of pride knowing that she wore it still. And as she stepped closer, Jungkook had already prepared her usual order- never forgetting to include her favorite cookies, a thing he'd memorized by now. She never quite drank coffee, but more like, milk and sugar with a drop of coffee. His coworker, Jin, had made fun of it several times in the past; he'd always stepped in however, as soon as he could see how embarrassed she got.

"Oh?" He asked, as he noticed her red nose and glossy eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, and she giggled before coughing. He furrowed his brows. Hopefully she didn't want to go to work like that- but by now he knew her well enough to have a very big suspicion that that was exactly her plan for the day.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh hey what's brewing? Looking good yourself, thanks for the compliment-" She said, trying to laugh but coughing again. "Hey look, I kind of wanted to return your scarf, but I also don't want to share my bacteria with you so- is it okay if I keep it for a bit?" She said, voice a bit muffled due to her facemask. He nodded, a slight pout on his lips.

"I know you're gonna go to work but-" He said, placing her order on the counter for her to take, as she placed down the money he took. "Can you at least go home a bit earlier? You really do look not so good." He said, doe-eyes growing a bit pleading at her as she sighed.

"I'll try, okay?" She said, and he nodded. Technically he'd ask her to promise, but he also knew how headstrong she was. The fact that she aknowledged his request was good enough for now.

"Okay." He said, smiling a bit as he waved from behind the counter as she left. "Take care!" He called out as she still waved, almost tripping over the small step outside the door as he chuckled, turning to the next costumer.

She wasn't there the next day.

Typically he should not get too worried about it, but as the week passed, she still didn't show up. A coworker of hers couldn't tell him either what was going on; only that she wasn't at work either.

So she was probably at home resting. Hopefully.

"...kook. Jungkook!" Jin called out, saving his younger coworker from spilling hot milk all over his hand. "Okay, spill the beans loverboy." He sternly said as he took him to the side, the cafe calm and almost empty as they were close to closing time. Jungkook sighed as he ran a hand over his face, groaning for a moment.

"I'm worried!" He exclaimed, no need to say out loud who he was talking about. "I know that she's an independent adult person who can surely take care of herself but what if something happened? What if she's at home too sick to take care of herself? Jin during the entire time she came here, she never missed an entire week!" He explained in pout as he let himself flop down on one of the small chairs. Seokjin sighed, before he looked at the clock.

"Go. I'll wrap things up today." He said, as Jungkook furrowed his brows. Even if he went home now, that didn't help his situation at all! "I'll give you her number and you can call her-" He started, as Jungkook suddenly jumped up.

"You have her number?! Why didn't you tell me?" He yelled, absolutely scandalized by this.

Seokjin threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay slow down, first of all you never asked. Second of all she told me not to!" He said, and Jungkooks look shifted. He suddenly didn't look offended anymore- he looked hurt. Betrayed almost.

"Why.?" He asked, now way quieter.

Jin sighed. "She wanted you to ask for it instead." He answered, and Jungkook threw his head back again, groaning as Jin laughed. "Give me your phone.." He said, taking the device from him and putting in her contact info. "There you go. Use protection kid!" He called after Jungkook, who'd immediately grabbed his phone and ran out, putting on his coat on his way.

The older one simply shook his head, smiling.

"..yeah?" The very tired voice of hers answered as Jungkook sat up straighter on his couch.

"H-Hey its Jungkook! You know, Kookie, the barista who puts in vanilla sugar instead of the lame stuff?" He said, and suddenly a laugh reached his ear, making him involuntarily smile. "Hey, I.. you didn't show up the entire week and it made me kind of worry so, I wanted to ask if you're good?" He asked, shyness slowly dying down.

Her voice sounded strained. "Yeah yeah, just great-" She said, before coughing. "Okay yeah no. Have you ever needed to sneeze but you couldnt?" She asked, and he hummed a reply, agreeing that he indeed had been in that situation before. "I feel absolutely like I'm gonna, you know, throw up, but I can't." She groaned, and his brows furrowed at that.

"I promise I don't try to be creepy here but-" He started, as he looked at his dog, peacefully sleeping next to him on the couch. "Can you give me your address maybe so I can come over? I- Listen I'm super worried, and no one should be left alone when sick." He said, and wondered if he was overstepping a line. Until he heard some shuffling, and a jingling sound.

"I'll text it to you, k? I uh.. unlocked the door now because I sure as hell won't be getting up anymore today." She said, as he chuckled.

"Oh, so you're gonna make me your maid?" He asked, and she giggled.

"Thats the plan Kookie."

"Y/N?" He called, without getting an answer. He thought about it, before trying a second attempt. "Midget!"

The answer was almost instantly. "The fuck do you mean Mid-" She tried, before coughing.

Jungkook walked inside the bedroom after searching for a moment, looking at her with a pitiful smile as he leaned against the doorframe. If she wasn't feeling so absolutely disgusting in that moment, she would've whistled at his way different outfit. After all, she mainly only saw him in his regular work attire; the black button up and ripped jeans he sported now a complete one-eighty to that. He looked so much more mature like that- now actually giving away that he was a bit older than her. Did he always have such a defined jawline? He could definitely cut a bitch with that-

Wow, exit was three miles ago.

"Done staring sugar?" He asked, and she only groaned, burying herself deeper into her massive mountain of blankets as he chuckled. "Alright. I'm gonna carry you into the living room, because I wont be spending my time in your stuffy bedroom." He said, making her giggle as she peeked out of her makeshift burrito.

"You won't?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before sneezing into the blankets, making him chuckle again.

"You're sick, so no." He said, and she suddenly yelped as he leaned down to pick her up. "What?" He asked with wide eyes.

"I'm sick!"

"So?"

"I'm sick."

"Heard that before." He said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She swallowed a bit at that because- was that a tattoo staring at her? Why did she never notice his hand was inked?! She shook her head, to focus again. "You'll get sick too!" She explained, before he scoffed.

"It's not like I'm licking your face sugar, now stop being difficult." He said, as he picked her up, blankets and everything included as he carried her back, placing her onto her couch before he squatted down in front of her face. "I'm gonna heat up some soup, and you'll eat something alright?" He said, and she shook her head.

"I'm gonna throw it up." She said, a pout evident. She didn't want his hard work to simply go down the drain- quite literally.

"That's okay." He answered, as she furrowed her brows. "You probably can't throw up because you haven't eaten. People typically feel better after vomiting so it's okay. Win win situation, really." He said as if it wasn't a huge deal.

"It's gross though." She mumbled.

"It happens." He said back, as he placed the white plastic bag on her kitchen counter, filling some of the soup from the plastic container into a small bowl he had a bit of issues finding, before he heated it up in her microwave. He was absolutely terrified of using them usually, making her laugh at him every time someone brought it up, but this time he didn't care much. "Here, let me help." He hummed, as he placed the bowl and a spoon on the small coffee table in front of her couch, helping her sit up properly. "Slowly, okay? You don't need to finish it, just a bit at a time alright sugar?" He requested, and she nodded, watching him as he sat down next to her, bowl on his thigh while he blew on the spoon, careful to cool the liquid food down before offering it. She kept her eyes on his focused face as she opened her lips, accepting it as he gently smiled. "There we go. Hope it doesn't suck, Jin says I can't cook for shit." He said with a chuckle.

"Doesn't matter, I can't taste much anyways." She shrugged, as he offered another small spoonful.

He snorted a bit as he kept himself concentrated. "Well I guess I'll just have to get you better, and cook for you when your tastebuds work again." He decided, as she smiled.

"Huh?" He noticed, as the small form of her whizzed past him, practically throwing open the bathroom door before he heard her. He dried his hands, sighing as he went inside the bathroom, spotting her leaning over the toilet bowl, gripping it with pale hands. "Oh sugar." He hummed, before he squatted next to her, a comforting hand running over her back as the other gathered her hair, holding it away from her face. He hushed her the best he could, a bit of helplessness seeping into his mind as he watched her struggle. She leaned her head on the side of the bowl for a moment, breathing heavily with closed eyes. Jungkook reached for a piece of toilet paper, wiping her mouth before he continued his gentle caressing of her back. "Better?" He asked, and she nodded, before opening her eyes, tearing up. "Whats wrong?" He asked, as he helped her sit, flushing the toilet.

"I hate this." She said, angrily wiping her eyes.

"Everyone gets sick." He said with a slight smile, searching for toothpaste as he prepared everything for her to get the taste off of her tongue.

"Thats not what I meant." She mumbled, as he looked at her. "I hate that you see me like this. I'm disgusting and a walking piece of dead meat at this point, radiating germs." She huffed, as he went down in front of her, pointing her toothbrush at her lips as she opened them almost automatically. He smiled at her reaction, placing the brush inside her mouth as she took over, lazily brushing her teeth.

"I think you're still pretty." He said, as she looked at him with an unamused look in her eyes. "I feel good that you let me take care of you like this. It feels nice that you let me see you like that." He explained, as he helped her up to walk towards the sink, turning on the water as she rinsed her mouth. "I don't like you any less, of you're worried about that." He said, and she almost choked on the water inside her mouth.

She knew he liked her, romantically, yet he'd never openly said it.

"I know its a bit sudden, but I've been pretty obvious." He said, as he wiped her mouth with a towel, before smiling at her.

"If I wasn't sick right now I'd be all cliche and kiss you right now, but I can't." She said, pouting a bit as he chuckled, kissing his two fingers before placing them onto her lips.

"Indirect kiss then."

"Okay but espresso is absolutely disgusting." She said, leaning over the counter to grab a mini cookie, before yelping as Jungkook playfully slapped her hands.

"Everyone can decide for themselves, first of all, and stop stealing shit." He said as he pointed at her, gasping scandalized as she teasingly tried to bite his finger. "Really now?" He asked, and she laughed.

"Okay kids, be disgusting somewhere else please!" Seokjin yelled, grabbing Jungkook by his apron as he pushed him into the backroom, telling him to change and go home. "Yoongi and I will close up today." He said to the young girl waiting, as she nodded.

"Alright sugar, lets go and be disgusting!" Jungkook exclaimed as he emerged from the backroom, now dressed in familiar all black attire, as he scooped her up, making her laugh as they both walked out of the cafe, towards his car.

"I want you to move in with me." He said between huffs of breaths as she mewled underneath him, body shaking with every encounter with his thrusting hips. She nodded as she smiled when he leaned down to kiss her collarbone, hand running over her breasts as he teasingly pinched a nipple between his fingers.

"You'll- urgh-" She groaned, as he bit the skin. "You'll have to carry my shit though." She pressed out, as he laughed at that, leaning back as he expertly angled his hips to hit her sweet spot deep inside, making her arch her back.

"Ah- that's fine with m..me!" He stuttered as he began to put more force into his movements, sacrificing speed for strength as she hummed in delight underneath him, grabbing the pillow above her head as she started to grow restless. "You gonna cum sugar? Nice and hard?" He asked playfully as he moved his hand over her exposed clit, fingers rubbing over the sensitive bundle of nerves as she gasped in pleasure, thighs suddenly shaking as she came, clenching around him. "Hm, good girl." He hummed, before she huffed, suddenly squirming before she squealed, wetness escaping her as he chuckled, sight enough to send him over the edge as well. "There we go, giving me a show aren't you sugar?" He said, voice hoarse as he let himself lean over her again, before she suddenly grinned up at him, pulling him down and shoving a bit to get him to lay down, suddenly above him as she sunk down on his still sensitive cock.

He laghed and choked up as she continued to ride him, her own second orgasm approaching as he squeezed his eyes shut. "God- good god ah!" He yelled out between laughter at the way he could feel his own legs tremble, unsure if what he was feeling was torture of absolute heaven. "Pl-Please God, Baby you're-" He pressed out, gasping as he suddenly felt himself close to a second orgasm as well. "You're gonna kill me you fucking demon!" He exclaimed, roughly turning her around as he pulled her legs against her stomach again, thrusting with newfound strength, as she giggled and squealed. "That's what you wanted?" He asked between gritted teeth as she pressed her eyes close. "Little demon can't get enough of this dick?" He teased as she nodded, now desperately racing towards her release as he suddenly slipped out of her, adjusting the condom with a trembling hand as he manhandles her laughing body onto her stomach, pulling on her lower half as he slipped inside her wet cunt from behind, bringing his inked hand down onto her butt with a loud slap for good measure as she whined. "Oh now you're complaining? Should've known what-" He groaned out in between his words as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her against his relentless hips as she moaned out into the pillow below her. "-Should've know what you got yourself into." He finished, before she arched her back again, reaching behind her to push him off as her eyes teared up from overstimulation. As he saw her painful expression he immediately pulled out of her, pulling the condom off of his erection as he desperately pumped his length, finishing in small spurts on the arch of her back before they both collapsed, breathing heavily.

"Okay, I loved every second of it sugar but-" He exclaimed breathless, as she cuddled up next to him, throwing a leg over his body as he laughed. "What the fuck was that?"

But she simply giggled, mind still too hazy to form any words.

[1ddotdhq]

🍌Wed 2 Dec ‘20💚

Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo Rumors by Making EVEN MORE Banana Innuendos part TWO

Good morning/evening/night to Harry’s post and Harry’s post ONLY! (Okay that’s not true but it was definitely a highlight of my day). In case people haven’t seen it yet, it’s Harry in a light blue custom made suit putting a penis banana in his mouth. The picture is captioned “Bring Back Manly Men” so take a suck on THAT Candace Owens! It was only one of many great pictures in his variety shoot (including another, um, fruity picture of him biting into a pomegranate okay Persephone we get it), but Harry did indeed choose That One to post on This, the day after banana necklace dickscourse, BLESS. Harry’s interview was a little more in depth than they have been in the past, touching upon his feelings on race (“Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music. There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change”), as well as his tattoos (the only time he regrets them is in the DWD makeup chair), his love of reading, fashion and art, his exercise routine (Kid Harpoon couldn’t keep up!),  and his feelings on success and acclaim (“It’s never why I do anything...it's always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff...Fans are the best A&R”). 

The problems arose - as they so often do - when One Direction was mentioned. The article said that “The proof [of the band’s benefits] is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members- Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles- each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond”. Leaving aside the bad math (that's 4 people!) one name, of course, is notably missing: Louis has in fact enjoyed quite a lot of success both with Walls (remember when his album went #1 on iTunes in the UK AND the US literally 2 months ago?) and his pre-Walls singles like “Back To You” and “Just Hold On”. It got worse because the author tried to back up her claim with Harry’s quote, “When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band...but we loved being in the band...I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it”. By linking her own words with Harry's quote she made it seem as though Harry said it to agree with her biased take, which we'd know he didn't even if we hadn't heard him say this exact quote without that slant multiple times before. Fans were quick to point out both to the author and to Variety that they were wrong (to describe the reaction mildly), and the author rather than fixing the mistake, doubled down and began blocking fans. Plenty of people were quick to say that of course HSHQ and Harry had approved this content, despite more knowledgeable fans trying to be heard protesting that that is not how it works. (Remember how just recently Vogue got Harry’s whole ass FAMILY situation wrong and it was not corrected until after print, for example?) In fact, even the magazine didn't really proofread this- the print version of the article is different and says, “The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members - Styles, Malik and Horan”, effectively erasing both Louis AND Liam. It's an annoying take either way, but it's one the author more than likely picked up by doing her research on harrie twitter, not on orders from Jeff.

And because we DO NOT STAND FOR LILO ERASURE ON THIS BLOG, let’s talk about Liam’s Web Summit panel! It was 25 minutes of Liam and Marian Dicus (VP of Spotify) being interviewed about the current and future state of the music industry. Both of them, of course, noted that things had changed very quickly in their careers back at the beginning of lockdown, and how it had seemed surreal, at first, but that Liam had found that the way he was operating now (with Veeps and Tik Tok and Instagram lives) had made his platform a two way interaction with his fans. “For a long time I've been living in a dream world where I thought I was speaking with my fans but really I was just talking at them whereas we as artists ask a lot of rhetorical questions... I wanted to start a conversation”. Marian discussed how engaging fans differently WAS one of the most difficult things to puzzle out at the beginning, but that as months have passed, it seems artists like Liam have found a viable virtual future in the music industry (Liam tells us that he's been doing “stadium size shows” on Veeps which is an exciting clue about the mystery of how many tickets they're selling). They also went into the way music trends change as a response to social and political occurrences, how comfort songs gave way to protest songs this summer. Liam said, “People want their artists to have an opinion nowadays it's not that we can stay out of the conversation anymore-- and nor do we feel that we should in many places-- but for me it's a fine line because I realize what I do for people is an escape, people don't want things rammed down their throats every day and news messages from me about things that they don't want to hear about if they've come to listen to music, so its a real fine line that we kind of teeter on”. And about his opening acts, he acknowledges that his fanbase are mostly young women (based on the data breakdowns he gets from his team), and so he feels a responsibility to mentor young female artists in the industry so that more people like his fans have a voice. In an interview full of really fascinating music and technical discussions, this remained my favorite moment from Liam. Just like we won’t erase HIM, he refuses to erase US! And let's not forget our Liam alarm of the day-- it starts out absolutely adorable (“good moooorning!”), is hilarious in that apparently he just rambled completely unscripted and then they awkwardly cut it into 25 parts, but today's installment is frankly not relaxing! “only 23 sleeps til christmas have you done your shopping are you prepared” excuse me Liam YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT. The promised relaxing sleep story affirmations are still 'coming soon'-- hurry up please I need them to decompress after that alarm!

Now for a lightning round of epic proportions: DWD darling pictures and vids keep comin’ and Harry and Florence are both looking GORGEOUS as Jack and Alice,  after the Variety shoot dropped ‘THE CAPTION’, ‘BRING BACK MANLY MEN’, and ‘LOUIS IS SUCCESSFUL’ trended worldwide on twitter, Tan France said “yes please” to Harry's banana post, Harry reiterated that London was home and he didn’t want to be in LA for longer than he needed to,Variety has its virtual show tomorrow at 5 pm PST so see you there! Veeps is sending out emails promoting Louis’ show to people who bought LP show tickets, fans have already started to receive their Louis Tomlinson Live From London merch, Trinity College in Dublin’s Law society presented Niall with an award for, uh, his Irishness, I guess? (Just kidding, it’s for “his incredible talent and work ethics which is famously underscored by a distinct humility despite unthinkable success”). It looks like he will be giving a talk when he’s presented with it, and I’m honestly really interested to see what it’s all about - is he...gonna be talking to law students? Idk but tune in on December 7th at 12 pm GMT to find out!

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 4

photo credit - @ssa-emilyhotchner​

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader 

warnings - canon typical criminal minds, stalking, angst. pretty tame chapter 

summary - “I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent.

a/n - hi besties. so this chapter is p short compared to the last one, i had like  7k something chapter 4 and it just didnt feel right, BUT that means chapter 5 is basically done i just need to edit it soooooooooooo hopefully wont take a long time lol! enjoy, heart yall forever 

masterlist // series masterlist // read it on ao3 

chapter 3 / chapter 5 

-----

The rest of the team was left in various levels of shock. Everyone was struggling to process the bomb of information that had just been revealed. With hindsight, it was easy to connect the strange levels of tension and intimacy that radiated between you and Hotch. What was more difficult to swallow, was the new understanding that Hotch had been keeping this secret for nearly five years. Random ‘trips’ that Hotch would take out of state or the subtle sprinkles of wealth showing up in the form of gifts suddenly made sense. 

This was completely uncharted territory for the entire team. Given Hotch’s history, it wasn’t too difficult to understand how protective he may be of any relationships post-Haley; but the magnitude of your relationship- both in terms of your status as well as length-, and the withholding of information even on the case was a different form of betrayal that couldn’t be kicked under the rug. 

Hotch had always been one of the fiercest advocates for unity, truth and an equal playing field when it came to information concerning a case,- Morgan was still feeling second hand embarrassment for Jordan- for him to be the one to hold back such influential info was difficult to fully wrap their heads around. Anger, of course, was felt and there would certainly be time for that anger- not even getting started on the amount of questions everyone was bound to have-, but as the team was silently processing, they all reached similar conclusions. Hotch was displaying a softness and side of him they hadn’t seen in a very long time and they wouldn’t let their valid frustrations get in the way of solving this case. 

Morgan was the first to speak, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I need to text Garcia about this.” He said, shaking the phone a bit. Everyone managed to laugh at that, all certain that Garcia would have the most interesting reaction to the news.  

“You know…, the other day when she was giving me a tour of her house, I pointed out a bottle of Dalmore 25 she had on the wall. She got really weird about it and I thought she was trying to play modest, but this, this makes a lot more sense.” JJ remarked lightheartedly. 

“So now we know Hotch has some game then, huh?” Morgan quipped, a large grin on his face. When everyone just stared blankly back at him, even more confused than they already were he continued. “Do you all not remember when he ‘magically’ got a bottle of Dalmore 45, those start at twelve grand” 

Reid was about to open his mouth and add to the conversation, but just as the words were leaving his mouth Hotch stormed back into the conference room. One hand was tightly balled in a fist while the other was gripping his phone. 

“She’s not answering her phone. Three times, it went straight to voicemail.” 

“She isn’t on set today, when she left this morning she told me she had work related errands to run.” Emily recounted, racking her brain for any more info about your whereabouts. 

Hotch strode over to an open laptop at the edge of the table, quickly hitting a series of buttons until a very flustered Garcia appeared on screen; her mouth dropping open when she saw Hotch. 

“Questions later Garcia,” Hotch opened, already anticipating that someone Derek would have informed her of the latest news, “I need you to track Y/N. I want her current and last location.” 

“Yes sir! I uh, I will do that right now for you.” Garcia responded, clearly doing her best to hold back the hoard of questions and comments she had. The sound of her vigorously typing filled the room. “Alright sir, so the bad news is that it looks like her phone is currently turned off, but! The last place it pinged at was outside of Chateau Marmont about three hours ago. Which for those of you who don’t know this place is notorious for being the A-lister hideaway-” 

“Garcia, do a wide search for her name and location for today’s date. Check to see if there’s been any media sightings on her whereabouts.” Hotch ordered. He hadn’t forgotten how uneasy it had made him once he found out how easy it was to locate you. Paparazzi were a different form of ruthless and he’d never realized how difficult it actually was for people in the spotlight until he met you. 

“Let me see…, yes sir you are right! I’m getting a bunch of hits of her entering the-” Garcia’s sentence falling off with an ‘oh’. 

“Garcia, what’d you find?” 

A headline popped up on the screen. 

“Emma Co-Stars Pictured Together Out At Lunch: Has The Love Moved Past The Screen?” 

Underneath, multiple photos of you quickly loaded. There you were, cheerily standing next to your co-star, looking up at him with a big grin on your face. The photos showed the two of you in different positions as you made your way inside. A few of him as he opened the car door for you. One of you with your arm wrapped loosely around his while you walked up the door. One of you ducking under his arm as you entered the restaurant. 

The tension in the room was palpable as everyone did their own mini attempt at profiling the photo. It was difficult, you’d clearly proven to be a great actress and they knew you were capable of manipulating your outward emotions. It was even more difficult considering it was just a handful of mediocre quality photos. 

Hotch was tightly gripping the edge of the table, forcing himself to keep a level head. He knew it was unreasonable to get angry over the idea of you with another man, but it didn’t help the pang in his heart as he recognized the genuine signs of happiness you were emitting. 

“JJ,” Hotch said, voice dangerously calm, “call the restaurant and have them discreetly tell Y/N that ‘Andi’ is calling her.” Discretion was the highest priority for him, the envelope being even further confirmation that the unsub was closely trailing you. The last thing he wanted to do was either trigger a violent reaction or cause him to go underground.

Back when the two of you had been together, out of an abundance of caution, you used to refer to Aaron as ‘Andi’ in public. You hated not being able to thank him in speeches or mention him in any capacity, so this had been your best way around it. 

“Yes sir.” JJ responded, quickly moving out of the room to make the phone call. 

“Garcia, do you have any leads on the kid that dropped off the envelope?” Hotch asked. 

“No sir. The car he left in was reported stolen a few days ago with no leads as to where it went. Camera feeds loose the car about three blocks away and his face was too obstructed to get any hits that way.” 

“Alright, once JJ comes back with confirmation Y/N’s gotten the message, I’m going to pick her up. I want the rest of you to work with Garcia and categorize these photos. Cross reference whatever you can to get a timeline.” Hotch ordered, the rest of the team not being to be told twice. 

-----

“Where the hell are you?” Aaron demanded. 

Even through the phone, you could tell he was absolutely seething. It was bad, by the time you had picked up the phone you’d amassed a total of twenty texts and nearly ten missed calls from Aaron; not even mentioning the individual missed calls you had from each member of the team. It was bad, but in your defense it had been less than an hour from the first missed call to your current response. 

What could you say? You were big on not being on your phone when you were spending time with friends. 

“What do you mean, where the hell am I,” you answered, rolling your eyes as you leaned up against one of the private bathroom countertops. “How did you describe it before Agent? I’m very in ‘demand’.”

You could hear him groan through the phone and wondered if he was running his hands over his face; something he used to always do when you were being difficult; he absolutely was. 

“Y/N-” 

“I’m on a date.” You responded flatly. The other end of the line went silent. As you were debating whether or not you should add the part about it being a publicity date, Aaron’s voice came through. 

“End it. I’m picking you up. The drive there from the station shouldn’t be more than 30 minutes.” Aaron said, his voice dangerously even. 

“I’m perfectly capable of getting back to the station on my own Agent. I don’t need you stirring up an absolute scene-”

“Y/N,” he started, voice commanding in a way that told you he was serious, “a package was delivered to the station today. Filled with hundreds of photos of you over the years,” he paused again and you could hear him take a deep breath before continuing, “there’s photos of us in there. The unsub knows.” 

You went silent, mouth opening over and over, unable to find anything to say. You had always envisioned a world where you and Aaron were some sort of ‘public’ knowledge, but never like this, obviously never like this. 

“Y/N, I need to come get you,” Hotch said, his voice much softer now, “I can’t-, I need to see that you’re safe.” 

“I’ll make something up,” You said quickly, before adding, “there’s a private valet area, I’ll send you the instructions to get past the gates and I’ll let the security know you’re coming to pick me up.” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, don’t draw any attention to yourself.” And with that he hung up, leaving you stunned in the bathroom. You gripped the edges of the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror. You wished you could stay in the bathroom for hours, desperately needing some time to privately process what Aaron had told you. 

That wasn’t in the cards for you though, so you quickly did some pointless attempts at ‘straightening’ your appearance- more for your benefit than anything else- before you turned the lock and left back for your table 

You slipped back into your seat across from your friend and co-star Johnny. 

“Your friend alright?” Johnny asked. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you said with a small smile, “she’s fine. But my Agent called me when I was in there, she apparently managed to set up some last minute FBI consult to help me prep for an audition I have coming up. According to her, she ‘pulled a lot of strings for this’.” You said, rolling your eyes. The lie sliding out of your mouth with ease. “Whoever this FBI dude is, is supposed to come pick me up right about,” you looked down at your phone, “now apparently. So I guess our little date has to end early.” You said, giving him an exaggerated sad pout. 

Johnny rolled his eyes at that, giving you a small laugh. The two of you were both equally uninterested, romantically, in each other. But you did get along quite well, so being ‘forced’ into hanging out with each other outside of filming wasn’t bad; you’d probably hang out outside of filming anyway 

“No worries, we still on for running lines later tonight?” He asked. 

You thought for a moment, before nodding. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, help me flag down the waiter, I want to get one last drink in before I go.” 

-----

About twenty minutes later you found yourself waiting out in the private courtyard of the restaurant. You were doing your best to calm your nerves, this being the first opportunity you had to try and process what Aaron had told you. You should’ve seen it coming, if the stalker was so obsessed with you, he must’ve noticed Aaron in your life at some point. But you had been so careful. 

Then the other obvious thing hit you. His team knew. You were wondering how the team had taken the news when you saw the black SUV come into view. Aaron quickly stopped the car in front of you and before you could move to open the passenger door yourself, he was out of his seat in a flash, coming over to where you were standing. 

For a moment you were both silent. You felt tiny under his unrelenting gaze, his eyes scanning your entire being as he ensured himself you were okay. 

Without thinking, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, ensnaring his arms tight to his side. As soon you realized what you did, you were internally kicking yourself, moving to loosen your arms nearly as fast as you had put them there.

“Aaron I-” 

Before you could finish your attempted apology, Aaron had pulled his arms from under yours and repositioned them around you, pulling you tightly against him. Your head naturally fit perfectly under his and you took in a deep breath, letting his scent surround you. It was cliche, but you both were thinking about how perfectly your bodies melded against each other.  

You felt his hand rest gently on the back of your head, gently stroking down your hair in a steady rhythm. “I got you.” He whispered, so quiet you nearly didn’t hear it. 

You pulled your head back so you could look up at him. “I’m scared.” You said, admitting it aloud for the first time.  

Aaron was staring hard down at you, his face soft. “I know,” he started, moving a piece of hair away from your face, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?” 

You nodded at that, missing his warmth when he started to pull away from you. He kept a protective hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the passenger seat. He opened the door and helped you in, gently shutting the door behind you. As soon as your door was shut he wasted no time in getting in the driver's seat, starting the car up again. With a quick check to make sure your seatbelt clicked was in, Aaron peeled out of the parking lot. 

A few floors above the courtyard, in one of the private hotel rooms, a curtain was angrily thrown shut. 

-----

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no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own criminal minds or any of the character involved in it.

[lettersformiah]

12:03pm, 29 june

MORNING BUBBA!

you are asleep cause you had the night shift placement so im not gonna see you for a while today but thats okay! im at home again so i can focus on these internals and thats what im about to do! just opening this letter so i can update you on my day as i go instead of bombarding your phone (but maybe that too) yeah so!

this morning i got up finally and had some toast n hashbrowns. hopped on me pc and i fleshed out more of the musical playlist so thatll probably be my fuel for this work for the next like 6 hours. hopefully im somewhat done by the time you get up but yk. i gotta do english >:( its gonna be 2 connections paragraph (~2 hours?) and two responses (~3 1/2-4 hours) english sucks cause it takes so so long but we will see! let u know <3

1:07! hi again bubsy! i finished my connections! all of it! wrote two paragraphs and fixed the hamilton one and did the conclusion! so tomorrow in english should be all good :D im pretty happy with it! now time to do the reponses! brb <3

UPDATTE LMAO 1:48 so! i startred working on the responses and then got distracted bc cash messaged me so. update time with it. i dont need to do it. like deadass do not need to do it at all. apparnelt in week 8 of next term we select either the connections or responses for the 4 credits. we dont get to pick both. just so like u can pick the one with the better grade n all that. but that amount of work is not at all equal wtf? 6 pages vs 4 paragraphs? like bro connections is also so much easier and way more fun to write about. i think im gonna be okay with it since i did and i think its definitely passable if nothing else and thats all i care about so its all good :D hope youre sleeping well. now it is geo time i think. and then maybe im done??

2:10 made a to do list with all the things i gotta do and its mainly just a lot for geo. geo is a lot fo writing but overall not actually that difficult. gonna do it until 3 and then gonna get lunch and do some chores. love you

4:48 almost 5 :O couldnt focus properly on geo, did some boring stuff like fixing the alyout and a teeny bit of writing but it was a bust so i got up and had some lunch, did dishes, had a shower, took my clothes off the rack n put em all away, and made my bed. i think thats all i did. only took like an hour and a half ehehe. im waiting for u to wake up but i know u wont. but also u wont be tired tn if u sleep forever so youll fuck up ur schedule u goof so hopefully that doesnt happen and everytyhing is alg.

but yeah! back at the pc now with a clean room and its nice :D id like to say im totally gonna do more geo n stuff but honestly i just wanna chill ykyk. im happy i did english since that was the most pressing issue i had. but everything else i dont ereally need to do i dont think. so it should be alg. french tomorrow will be shaky at best but honestly what happens happens and im sure ill get an achieved yk. so will be okay i hope. i love you, wake up soon please dear, mwah <3

talk soon,

-mads<3

[lokisprettygirl]

I know I'm saying it nearly every time ....I love it and I'm addicted 🤗😍🤗😍🤗😍💙💚💙💚

I don't know where to start because there were so many details I had to think about 😊

We learned more about Nat's and y/n's past. Poor Nat, it's really hard and sad to live a life with a husband like Bucky but it's also hard to leave without any securities in the background. Hopefully things are going to get better for her and she can live a happier life one day. ( please let it be Bruce). Also y/n, what kind of man was Clint🤬.

A bank clerk? Offending y/n for her? Really? It doesn't matter if you're high educated or not. It says nothing, absolutely nothing about your social or human abilities 🥲😊. (Sidenote: all the janitors of this world have my deepest respect 👏🏻. Thanks for doing what you're doing!)

But maybe it was not so bad for y/n as it seemed 😉😅. She has her own blue man god now😭😭🥰🥰🥰❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥.... can I have one too ? Please! 🥺🥺😭💙

Oh my, they're sooo adorable, I love them sooo much 🥰🥰🥰. Bluey will be my love forever💚💙❤️‍🔥. How cute is the scene with the cat? Yes, the angst killed me when y/n couldn't find him in the room but him interacting with the cat? I cleary visualised him crouched down in front of the cat and trying to communicate 😍😺. He's like a little child that wants to know and understand everything that's around, soaking up everything like a sponge 🤩. It's so adorable and cute. It broke my heart when he felt guilty and wanted to be tied up with the scarf so he can't hurt y/n anymore.🥺🥺😭😭

And yes, He.Is.A.Man.😏😏😏 and he definitely knows what he's doing. But both wanted it, the tension is there and both needed the release. Their first time was wonderful. He lost his memories (and I don't care at the moment to be honest) but he just followed his instincts. Maybe it's kind of animalistic but with lots of feelings. They cared for each other so much 🥰❤️. It's a satisfying smutty scene but...it's difficult for me to find the right words...it was hot but also decent, proper. I still love the whole atmosphere and mood in this story.

I have a vision in my mind how they could end up...in Alaska...or elsewhere, where it's nice and cold🧊...time will tell...

Maybe the current situation is just temporary, but it's a common memory they have now and nobody can take this away from them 🥰...they just enjoyed the moment 💙❤️

Huuuh, this was long, I got lost in my writing🤣🤣...no, don't worry, I won't say the three words...🤣🤣🤣

...my Lady I recognized it 😉...the colours changed ⬇️⬇️⬇️

💚💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💚

It was a great joy to read that chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one 😍🥰💙❤️💚

Thank you, this made my day, you are an awesome reader and everyone should get one like you 😍💚

And yes Natasha deserves so much better than this. And hopefully Bruce can finally give her the courage to leave. There's no love, loyalty or security left in that relationship.

I think Clint just used her for sex and he never intended to marry her or be committed to her. And yes everything happens for a reason ;)

He's so adorable, everytime I think about him there's another fluffy scene I want to write about him and he's just the cutest thing.

But at the same time, I ..😳😳😳 as y/n said he is a sexual being and he understands those feelings really well. He has done it before and it just clicks to him. And yes these moments are going to become an important part in their relationship when he gets his memory back because it wont be easy for both of them to deal with it

Thank you for noticing the colour changing;)

Love you 💚