#so i cant have ppl over the weekend after bc of that bullshit

[modernmutiny]

See, this is why I don't celebrate my birthday anymore.

[linos-teeth]

[1/3] aaa so sorry i didnt realize you answered!! (when is tumblr ever gonna.let.me breathe.i canT EVEN POST ANYTHING THATS BULLSHIT) ermmm so are you in uni now? And wellll hope everything's still fine and that the person hitting you with a stick when you talk bad abt urself is doing a good job! But yeah i understand there's a different pov abt coolness and stuff but uh dont wanna sound discouraged but i waS riGhT we're not rlly friends---

[2/3] but i mean i talk to more ppl in my class and i didnt eat alone too much this week? but dont wanna get my hopes too high you know-that sounds depressing hahahavdjg sorry- + uh we're going to slovakia in early march (we dont speak Slovakian but they learn french and we'll learn abt other cultures which is good since we're in the art section??)- Yay ig- but i'll prob have a girl (thanks mom for not letting me choOsE and NoT acknowledging me being a gUY- fuck you mOm) as a penfriend?

[3/3] Which wouldnt be a problem if i didnt have to share thE sAmE bed with her when they come to france. im already feeling deeply uncomfortable with that but i just cant argue w/ my mom uH i guess i'll find a way or smth (like; coming out AGAIN TO HER (spoiler alert: am too much of a coward to do that a second time so prob wont do)) and just ask her what she's comfortable with- sorry that's probably confusing and uninteresting hdjzvdjx- but tell me about your week?? Or how you're doing! :') 💕

MY DUDE PLEASE DON’T APOLOGISE i’m 100% the worst person to be an anon for with the time i take to answer so rly!! dw abt it but if u want i can like.....rb my replies a day after or so in case u didn’t see?

i’m not at uni yet and there’s been complications :/// i think i told u abt sending the documents but now i have no clue if they got them bc i feel like i should’ve gotten confirmation and the deadline’s long over but i didn’t and now on monday i’ll call there and hope to find out so until then i will just Fear ajhskfjasf it’s fun. but if nothing goes rly wrong i should start there in 2 weeks!! i’ll still be around, more maybe bc i won’t have too many classes and will prolly need smth to procrastinate ;) pls also make me write when that time comes i need. TO WRITE

but yeah that’s how my week has been going.......not great and like not a lot of progress but hey i started a new series so that’s fun!! and i actually giffed??? wow

tbh somehow you always catch me when i have one of my tumblr crises you must have an extra sense for that jfhaksfjasf or maybe i just.....have them a lot which is true tbh. but the stick hitting person is doing amazing and is being so supportive baby if by chance u read this ty!!! u save me i’ve been losing followers these days so i’m kinda scared i’ve been fucking up somehow or that i’ve peaked (which isn’t wrong but i’m still scared) but yeah i’m working on not letting it get to me too hard kinda

uhhhhh??? why would she not want to be friends excuse me (says the one who is literally unable to maintain friendships irl as soon as school/uni is over) either u are friends or u aren’t!! i say she’s missing out for sure. i feel you tbh like?? i’m big loner and i lost count of the times i ate alone (on purpose too tho bc i’m too scared to have ppl around me ESP WATCH ME EAT WTF WHAT IF I’M DISGUSTING) but!!! talking sounds good fuck that’s some brave shit ♥

slovakia sounds fancy!!! i remember getting these ads on tv for it all the time (ads for a country feel so weird but i guess they’re a thing here?? ok) i hope you get to see a lot of cool things!! it’s so amazing when u get the opportunity to go places with school imo bc like....how else will u get around sajskshkfjasf i wish u a great time in advance and like....when u get back maybe u can tell me a bit abt it!! i hope things work out with the lang barrier but i suppose if everything else fails there’s still english? also tell me more abt ur penfriend once u get them that’s so cool!! sucks abt the girl thing but then again i personally think it’s big bs to separate by gender in this day and age like relax.........the mere fact that a person of the opposite gender is in the room with you doesn’t make u have sex with them does it now even if they fit ur general bill attraction wise

but you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable ofc :/// that’s just shitty how long would it be for? i rly hope you can sort things out with her if it’s a girl!! the coming out again option sounds kinda stressful yeah fjhsfkjashfkas i mean if u had the guarantee she’d understand but?? if you already did it once that’s......messy i’m rly sorry

dw tho!! it wasn’t confusing or uninteresting it’s what ur doing rn and how u feel and i like hearing abt that!! i wish u the best of luck and like....more decent ppl hopefully and a good evening/weekend ♥

[flyingcookierambles]

forgot if i already talked about it but i guess i honestly didnt like wolf children/boy and the beast that much lol and i think i finally figured out why

ok so ill have my original post and short convo i had with this one guy and then write about my feelings after those two that provide some context.

ok real quick so wolf children and the boy and the beast are both from award winning anime director mamoru hosoda!

wolf children has a single mother with 2 kids who are werewolves/shifters since they can change whenever they want. she’s a widow because her husband was walking around the city in wolf form, scared ppl, and got killed by animal control in tokyo. she and her kids move out to the rural boonies on a small homestead where she farms and stuff so that her kids can have space to be their wolf forms and run around without fear.

the boy and the beast has a human child fall into the hidden magical parallel furry world and get raised by this beast/bear furry? i...forget what his adoptive dad’s species is lol, sorry its been a long time since ive seen the movie.

spoilers for the ending but. here.

wolf children - yuki, the daughter, decides to stay in the human world with her mom and go to high school. ame, the son, decides to live his life as a furry/wolf boy protecting the forests.

boy and the beast - adoptive father sacrifices himself for protag, fuses spirits/hearts/whatever with protag so that they’re not really separated even in death, then the protag and dad defeat the antagonist and the protag decides to stay in the human world with his human girlfriend.

soooo. yeah. the movie ends with the families splitting up and the two cultures of mundane humans and magical creatures separating forever.

(og post) original post from my kitsu:

“ok, so like after watching wolf children tonight, im left with a bunch of questions and, idk maybe i dont understand the ending, but like. what. i also have a copy of the boy and the beast and watched it a while go. and like. i feel like, out of his two movies, they were overall very good. however, the endings always leave me with a ton of questions and mixed feelings? is mamoru hosoda just going to be “that guy” for me? you know, “that guy.” like, he’s an ok dude but you have mixed feelings about him? is it still worth watching his other movies, the girl who leapt through time and summer wars, at this rate? idk???? edit: …. i realized i also borrowed mirai from the library, am i going to watch the whole thing and then be like. what.“

response to this one guy, pseudonym:

I didn’t like wolf children and while I overall enjoyed the boy and the beast I did feel it was lacking something. Give summer wars a go though as in my opinion it’s easily his best film, that said I haven’t seen Mirai.

my responses:

“ that’s interesting. hmm im trying to figure out what i didn’t like about his endings for these two movies and i think it might be the whole separation thing? but the weird thing was that i didn’t mind the family separation thing in maquia, another family drama oriented anime? so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ????? what about you?”

pseudomym:

“I haven’t seen Maquia. It’s been a while since I watched either film but I just remember Boy and the beast feeling generally a little uninspired and wolf children feeling hollow having nothing going on but cuteness and idealization of the mother character that I couldn’t get behind. It also fell into the annoying and well worn trap of insisting the daughter come to terms with her wolf side as necesary but the boy’s arc is to go reject his humanity and abandon his family to live in the woods as a young teen and the mother learning to accept his really stupid decision. Fuck that, thats a shtty life decision and it should be treated accordingly.”

my response:

i agree with some points! like, i get that the mother was a hardworking single mother who needed to give her kids some more freedom and also isolation in life to hide the whole werewolf secret, but when ame was just like “imma drop out of elementary school,” and hana was ok with it, i was just staring at the screen like “no, why are you letting him do this?” i feel like my issue with the boy and the beast was that ren decided that “humans and monsters need to live in their own world,” and left forever when i was thinking “no man, you can have both, work in the human world on weekdays and just go back to the monster world on weekends or something, you have basically nothing in the human world but this random girl you met and whatever the japanese version of the GED is.”

so. after thinking about it. literally for a few years. i realized. the reason i don’t like these movies, or at least their endings, since the premises sounds interesting enough for me to try them. is probably because im projecting my own weirdo complex identity issues on them. (own ramble lol) (other ramble on kitsu) (transracial tag on main) (racial imposter syndrome with NPR’s Code Switch) (all mixed up what do we call people of multiple backgrounds, also on NPR’s Code Switch)

so. as you can hopefully see. i. am currently in a pretty big identity/culture crisis. and. i think that the endings of these movies rubbed me the wrong way because their solution was to choose one over the other. like. there’s no room to try to make it work, to try and have a balance between the two worlds.

as mentioned above, in wolf children, why the heck not try to make it work? be a furry forest protector and still visit your mom because you’re in the same area. in fact, ame is literally the stupidest kid/literal elementary school drop out because, instead of trying to help the forest with actual laws and such because bc, its sad but let’s be real, capitalism and bulldozers can affect the forest more than one kid trying to larp as the big bad wolf of the forest. and you know how ame could’ve tried to protect the forest in a more substantial way? literally just. finding a balance between the human and magical werewolf/animal world and becoming a botanist/biologist/ecologist/forest ranger. someone who can bring some actual solutions to fixing issues in the forest with science. instead of like. “feeling the forest vibes” or whatever the heck was even happening there.

and then also as mentioned in the boy and the beast, protag-kun leaves behind all his childhood friends and the ppl who helped his adoptive dad raise him, practically his adoptive aunts and uncles, behind for a random girl he met, his birth dad and step family, and whatever a japanese GED is. like. again, why not try to make it work? have two cultures????

you dont have to choose one over the other!!

i’m sure that mamoru hosoda didn’t mean to be like. idk. insensitive to people of mixed races/cultures, etc., esp. since japan is not a very racially/culturally diverse place so he probably didn’t even have this mindset when making these movies, but the message in the movies’ endings that you have to pick one culture, country/world, family, etc., over the other because they’re just too incompatible is just. absolute bullshit. do i care that they’re werewolf and magic furry world culture? no, i think you can and should still try dude.

like. i have. a bunch of intersectional race/culture/adoption issues, but am i going to try to have some balance and learn about all of them and live with them? yeah????? do you realize how stupid it is to me to think about like. having to pick between cultures???? its just like. to me, picking one over the other would be like forcing me to stay with white americans or just like. go back to china. like the boy and the beast protag did or someshit????? like???? i can try to balance them??? tisn’t that the whole point of like. chinese american/ immigrant created mixed culture/experiences, esp. for ppl like me who are transracially adopted and have complex life experiences???? wtf??????

like. i would love to learn more about my birth country and all but im not going to be an absolute dumbass like the boy and beast protag and move to another world/country just because “its where i’m from” or “i have biological family there.” i cant speak the language, i’d leave all my friends and family oceans away, how the heck would i even live??

anyways TL;DR - as a person with some complex feelings about identity, and culture, and a person greatly interested in intersectionality due to my lived experiences, mamoru hosoda’s movies and their bullshit anti-intersectionality messages, again most likely unintentional but my brain read it as this, make me not like his movies.