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#so i dont know what to do now. im just going to sit
billsbabydoll · 2 days
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“𝒾𝓂 ℴ𝓊𝓉 ℴ𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝒹, 𝓉ℴ𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉.”
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contains:LIGHT HORROR+LIGHT SMUT<3
summary:while on a late night walk back home after the club, i find myself suddenly hearing the sweet melody of an alluring voice luring me into the depths of a hidden alleyway.
WARNINGS:vampire!bill, drunk-curious!reader, eerie setting, pet-names, kissing, make-out session, dry-humping, trippy hallucinations.
notes:ive been in the fall/spooky mood lately, so i wanted to switch it uppp.this is my second attempt at writing this since tumblr deleted my entire progress yesterday ^_^.
god i shouldnt have drank all off those margaritas, in the club obviously they were fun but as im stumbling trying to figure my way home im regretting ever stepping foot into that place.
the night was dimly lit from the moonlight shining above, the wind was cool sure to make anyone shiver, the quiet sound of leaves ruffling were audible in the background.
i crossed my arms over my chest rapidly rubbing my skin trying to create any type of warmth, i hazily looked around in search of any indication of where i could be, only find myself lost with my destination home nowhere in sight.
defeated, i take a few more steps before sitting against a brick wall, taking a deep breath trying come up with some kind of solution.
"maybe i could call someone for a ride?"i thought to myself, quickly pulling the strap of my purse off of my shoulder and placing my bag into my lap.i dig around inside before excitedly pulling out my nokia 2780, opening it to only to find it completely dead.
i dont know what to do at this point, i dont know where i am, i dont even know what time it is, im freezing to death, im drunk as fucking skunk-
“come here baby..”a deep voice suddenly whispered within the shadows.
i frantically look around trying match the voice to something or someone, only to see the empty road ahead and not a single soul in sight.i slowly stand up from my position on the concrete floor, then anxiously turn the corner walking into a blood-curdling alleyway.
i continue walking deeper into this horrific darkness stopping dead in my tracks when i, not even in a blink of an eye see a tall figure appear in the middle of the path, its red glowing eyes piercing into my own.
“dont be scared, i wont hurt you.”he cooed, magically teleporting right infront of me.
his features were otherworldly, his gaze captivating and hypnotizing, his makeup dark, his skin pale as snow.
he was supernaturally beautiful.
“w-what are y-you?”i muttered, rapidly blinking my eyes trying to figure out if i was just imagining this or if this was real life.
“dont worry about that, for now-”
he paused taking a step closer, his face now not even an inch away from my own, his icy-hands interlinking with my own, his thumb grazing over my warm-blooded skin.
“kiss me doll.”
he then leans in capturing my lips into a hungry kiss, he lets go of my hands now pulling me into his tight grasp before slamming me against a nearby wall.i moan into his mouth, his simple words and beauty trapping me in a hypnosis.
i take the opportunity to tangle my arms around his neck, taking in the unusual metallic taste of his feverish lips, his tongue aggressively raveling with my own, his flavor so addicting and irresistibley delicious.
he begins to repeatedly ram his hips into my own, seeking any sort of relief from the tension bulging through his pants, his clothed cock grinding against my tender pussy.
we continue indulging in eachothers lust, he had enchanted me with the most powerful spell but i was too compelled to snap out of it, utterly drowning in his trickery.
he abruptly slows down giving me one last gentle peck before slightly pulling away, his eyes staring into my soul, he wasnt breathing, he didnt even blink once.
i gasp awake, jumping up from my bed, drenched in sweat, still dressed in my clothes from the club and-
a throbbing ache in neck…
THE END.
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noellefan101 · 3 days
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Their S/O Is a Gamer, But They Arent Really One
Characters: Pantalone, Childe, Albedo, Nilou, Tighnari x GN reader
Summary: Your partner doesnt really into playing online games, but you do, so what do they play when you introduce them and what would they be interested in playing.
Warnings: mentions of blood, and horror games but nothing bad jsut the mentions of it, otherwise just fluff, modern au
Note: love the idea of playing games with someone who has never really touched an online game, so you introduce them to some not so weird games and play with them. i sound so lonely- love you
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Pantalone
He definitely lives in a giant place, so you have your own room with a pc and all that stuff, even though he doesnt really understand it he loves you, and your hobbies are apart of you.
Would love to play something with you, but he for once isn't sure how to ask, and he doesn't have much free time. But would love to play some cozy games with you, either on a console or with him sitting in your chair while you teach him how to play.
Likes playing more business-focused games, just so he can also show off all his knowledge of marketing to you, but could also get into horror games if you played with him.
He plays the sims with you at times, and he definitely has one of the sims run a store and can make a lot of money really quickly, even without knowing what he's really doing.
Childe
He has played a few games, but only combat games where you could also see blood, so think shooters and that stuff. so if you play more cozy games, or just sweet games i dont think he would be very interested at first.
But if you wanted to play with him he totally would, he would sit next to you at his own desk and look over to see what you were doing once in a while when he was lost.
He likes playing with you but doesnt do it often, only when he really feels like it. Also loves horror games, but especially if you get scared easily so he can tease you and comfort you, plus he gets to hold your hand.
Albedo
He is definitely interested in video games, and has some on his phone that Klee can play when she's with her but he's busy.
So he has gotten you to talk a little about the games you play, and seen you play as well. But has never actually tried playing it, so he would like to try.
Likes to play dress up games, just for fun but also because he can draw the outfits and get inspiration form them. Plus he has you beside him so he can tease you by drawing you in a rather embarrassing outfit.
He's not really into the concept but still likes to just watch while he's doing an experiment, but would play science games on his own if he found one he liked.
Think if Dr. Stone made a game, so stuff with a lot of scientific aspects to it. Games that would put you to sleep after he started talking about it.
Nilou
Loves to look at you play, she sits on your lap at times to get a better view. She doesn't really take an interest to what you're doing as much, but would still love to play with you.
She would like playing the sims, making both of you and building a pretty house for you to live in. She has also made you kiss many times, but got embarrassed when you commented on it.
Would also challenge you in fitness type games, but she wins almost every time. You now have a Wii in your living room where you both do yoga together every week.
Tighnari
He is way more interested in nature, plants, and the outside world of living beings, so he hasn't really touched the concept of playing games on a computer, more so looking up information.
But he would be so into Stardew Valley, yes he does know way more about all these plants and will rant on and on about why these plants need to planted in the spring and stuff. But he would have so much fun playing if you got im into it.
GRASS, did i scare you? go out and touch some please, you need it
And yes, he is interested in what you play otherwise without him, and would encourage you to talk about it for hours just like he does with plants. He's very supportive of you and likes just looking at you play games while he studies a special species of fox that he just learned about.
Walks into your room from time to time and opens the windows, because you need more sunlight, and he doesn't accept the excuse of him being your sun, though he does blush if you say that.
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Thx for reading pookie, luv ya-Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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adilynnyuri · 2 days
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hey so an exam of mine is in two days and I havent much prepared for it im dependent on pulling an all nighter before each exam but that wont help too much right so im mostly dependent on manifesting that the exam goes really well,i get asked questions that i know in the exam and then i receive atleast above 80% ( havent even studied for more than 60%) so i know that it is possible to manifest everything and I had fell into a really good place w my manifestation and also had started trusting my ability . But today i remembered that in my last exam i also did sats and thought i would get good grades or whatever but somehow it didnt happen i got okayish grades but not the ones i wanted i got full in some subjects but did really bad in others. So now ive started to doubt myself and thinking that I did the same last time and it didnt happen so why would it happen this time and all😭 even though just yesterday i manifested this one thing i wanted instantly now im starting to doubt myself i dont know what to doo
Plus on top of all this my grandfather is a dementia patient and has not been able to eat talk or get up do anything for about 4 years and was bedridden we have kept at home nurses for him and everything is done for him . But from two days his oxygen level has beennm really low and we took him to the hospital today and they are saying that he doesnt have very high chances. I dont know what to do im affirming constantly that hes absolutely fine and healthy and he will come home and all but idk
Hii love! 🤍
LOVE CALM DOWN FIRST OF ALL!! I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOME DOUBTS BUT IT IS NOT PERMANENT!!
When speaking of your grades,
⭐ Do not accept any marks less than what you desired! "IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN" in your physical reality, THEN STILL PERSIST AND REVISE YOUR MARKS TO YOUR DESIRED ONES. Once again coming up with same example, if you ordered a burger(ur desire) and you got chicken nuggets(undesired) , would you be sitting and accepting the chicken nuggets? You will immediately command the waiter (your subconscious) to get the burger YOU wanted right?
⭐ Just like that, see your desires! IF SOMETHING UNDESIRED HAPPENS IN YOUR REALITY = GOES TO TRASH!
̶D̶O̶N'̶T ̶F̶U̶C̶K̶I̶N̶G ̶C̶O̶M̶P̶L̶I̶C̶A̶T̶E ̶Y̶O̶U̶R̶S̶E̶L̶F ̶D̶O̶U̶B̶T̶I̶N̶G ̶Y̶O̶U̶R̶S̶E̶L̶F ̶T̶H̶I̶N̶K̶I̶N̶G ̶̶Y̶̶O̶̶U̶ ̶D̶I̶D ̶̶S̶̶O̶̶M̶E̶̶T̶H̶I̶N̶G ̶W̶R̶O̶N̶G
⭐ YOU MUST GET WHAT YOU WANTED! IT'S THE TRUTH. GOOD OR BAD DEPENDS ON YOUR CONSISTENCY. IF YOU REPEATEDLY SAY
"oh my gawd I have to pull up an all nighter orelse I won't get good grades"
"What if I don't get what I wanted? "
Shut👏🏻the👏🏻 fuck👏🏻 up
When it comes to your grandfather's condition, THE SAME GOES TO THIS TOO. You want your grandfather to be healthy? THEN ASSUME HE'S HEALTHY! DOESN'T MATTER IF THE MOST "EXPERTED DOCTOR" IS SAYING THAT THERE'S NO CHANCES!
Do you think they control your reality? ITS YOUR REALITY. YOU DECIDE WHAT MOVES AND WHAT DOESN'T!
I literally revised the death of my uncle who was dead 4 years ago! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
With lots of love,
ADILYNN YURI🤍🌷
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heeseungismymanz · 3 days
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𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎
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Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.
Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n ex), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..
Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader
Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs
Tropes: Loving to Hatred, Lovers to Exes, Friends to Enemies
BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED
Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! Tell me if i forgot something!
SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!
°•More under cut•°
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"How am i grounded AGAIN and i have a basically broken leg?!" you ask while literally about to cry. Your at your dad's house and all you wanted to do was meet up with your boyfriend. And YOU personally didnt see a problem with it. But your dad did. "아빠는 그냥 친구예요! (dad hes just a friend!)" You yell. The only response he has is "그럼 지금 우리 친구에게 키스하는 건가요? (so we are kissing friends now?)" What was he talking about? Didnt he or like mom kiss their friends on the cheek when they were younger? Well Heeseung isnt just a friend but whats the big deal? You how old like 17? Does he want you to die single or something?. You didnt physically say it but in your mind you said "무슨 일이 있어도 나는 학교에 갈 것이다. (whatever im going to school.)"
Now your walking to school. May i mind you with a sprained ankle (that is NOT breaking your leg but wtv) and all you hear is "she really is weak!" or "ew her personality is giving ugly but her face is giving pretty!" those insults were WEAK to you and were super childish so you just walked by not giving a single fuck. Soon you made it to class. And the first class had to be math. Heeseung and Yeji sitting in a corner laughing ,smiling and just talking. Then your friends sitting in another death-staring them. You take a seat with YOUR friends and Heeseung's friends. "Hey guys!" You say smiling hiding the fact your annoyed seeing Heeseung and his EX together. "Hey ynnie!" Yunjin says first. You smile then use your phone texting Heeseung "Hey can we talk soon after class?" You see the bubble typing to see a new message "Sure.." What does he mean "Sure.." he's supposed to be the kind, loving boyfriend he always had been. Annoyed you decide to talk to Jake because who doesnt like talking to your boyfriends friend? "Hey jakey!!" You say loud enough for Heeseung to hear. "Oh hi yn!" he says smiling back with his big puppy like smile. "Wanna eat lunch together?" You also say really loud to the point Jay and Sunghoon asks "Can we join?!" at the exact same time. "Sure! Id love to eat with all of you. How bout all of us including Yunjin, Karina, and Yunah join and meet at that boba cafe near by!" You say smiling really big at Jake for no absolute reason then looking back to the others. "OOH YES!" Karina says. "Seems like a good plan" Yunah says. "I should invite hee-" Yunah trys to say "Oh no its fine hes with Yeji anyway. Im sure they have plans together for lunch!" You say practically aiming for them to not come while also cutting off Yunah. "Oh true! Plus we havent been all together for a while like this." Sunghoon adds. "Okay ill text the address." You say. "Also i cant go to any parties for like a week so :/" You add on. "What AGAIN?!" Jay asks. "Yeah i got in trouble for sneakin out tryna meet with someone i shouldnt see." Then the teacher walks in Yappa yappa yappa.
Heeseung texts you. "Lets talk now?" he asks. "Sure meet me at my locker." You text back. Honestly your really scared to the point you might even pee or poop your pants. You havent talked to him ever since the fight. So you dont really know what to say. You lowkey zone out for a few minutes til heeseung shows up. "What do you want?" He asks obviously NOT wanting to be there. "Why the fuck are you with Yeji? Am i NOT your girlfriend?" You asked him quite literally deathstaring him. "Listen she's better anyway like why'd you try punching her?" he asks as if he's trying to avoid the question. "Punching? So i started punching now?!" You say kind yelling in the school hallway. "WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?!" He asks still avoiding the question. "Heeseung its my way or hers. Choose." You say literally annoyed to the point you might drop kick him like a kickball. "And what if i choose hers?" He says. "Im done with this fucking bullshit see me out of this relationship. All i was trying to ask was why your flirting with your ex!" You yell. "OH IM FLIRTING NOW?!" He yells back in defense. At this point Sunghoon, Jake, Jay, Karina, and Yunjin found you and Heeseung. You quite literally almost punched him but then Karina, and Jay held you back. Then you black out.
Now your in the nurses office. All you remember was Karina and Jay holding you back. Nothing more nothing less. The nurse walked in. " Yoon Yn im sorry to say this but you have bruises and have a serious head injury that might not heal really fast because you've been hit in the head by Heeseung." That fucking bitch. How'd you even like a man like that? All because you tried Sneakin out tryna meet with someone you shouldnt see.
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AN: What an interesting way to end a chapter. Why is heeseung lowkey a bitch in this chapterrrr. Im so sorry i havent been updating but it's because my sports. I literally have volleyball games back to back every week.
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delicourse · 8 months
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i miss them a little if im gonna be honest
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lemongogo · 4 months
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trying 2 be normalabt dunmesh but its im like
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gifti3 · 2 months
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the au revives for a moment....more arranged marriage au stuff with asmo and reader! Last thing I posted was this. This new scenario def happens once Asmo starts to actual warm up to MC, hence why MC is acting the way they are.
but yea this ones pretty short but i think its worth sharing since i wrote most of it already!
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"Asmodeus can you please get out of my closet?"
He currently eyes one of your casual wears in his hand. "I'm almost done! I just wanted to see what you usually wear..."
Several maids also stood in your room, holding up different outfits you would wear on a day to day basis. Asmodeus kept handing them off to them as he kept going in and out of your closet.
You sigh at the unnecessary work he was giving the staff but they surprisingly seemed to be having fun talking among themselves and with him. Actually it shouldn't really be surprising at all. This was most definitely the norm for them.
You hold back an annoyed groan. "Okay well when you're done make sure everything is put back. I'm leaving."
"Ah! Wait come here. I need you actually! I want to see how these outfits actually look on you."
You stare at him and he stares right back. "......I'm not changing in and out of all these clothes. Asmodeus why exactly are you looking through my stuff anyways?"
"I'm obviously going to revitalize your whole wardrobe. You're welcome."
"You really don't need to do that." You immediately start worrying about the type of clothes Asmodeus would pick out. You had these clothes specifically cause they were comfortable for you appearance and physical wise.
You walk up to him a take your outfit out of his hands. "I like my clothes as they are thank you." You turn towards the maids, "Everyone please put everything back."
"Everyone stay."
The maids stand in place unsure of what to do with conflicting commands. However, they were technically were Asmodeus's maids first and yours second.
"MC I'm trying to do something nice for you?"
"I understand that but I like these clothes..."
You did not understand and didn't really consider it nice.
"I'm not going to get rid of what you have silly! I'm adding to it."
Oh. Well that didn't sound as bad...
"Still that's not really necessary. I'll probably just stick to what I already have."
Asmodeus lets out an over the top sigh. "It's bad to reject a gift dear. Trust me on this, ill pick things that fit you well. Now can you try on the outfit in your hand? It shouldn't be too hard to put on your own."
...Dear?
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toytulini · 7 months
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whys it so hard
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moeblob · 6 months
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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faaun · 6 months
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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bunnihearted · 6 days
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can i please fucking have a best friend before i kill myself i cannot stand this loneliness anymore it isnt even funny like im actually in so much pain bc of loneliness i feel like i cant breathe and like im gonna die everything hurts so bad i cant take it i try to pretend im ok and during a little while it works but then it all comes crashing down again i literally cannot be alone anymore i will die
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daily-crabbys · 1 year
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mmg,, i might hiatus again,,,
I'd hate to do it, but there's no joy in crab posts as of right now, and also as of a long while ago.
Managing messages and responding to people in replies and being tagged and all the stuff in inbox is. a lot.
I never intended or expected crab blog to get this big, and it feels like such a chore to do at this point. Not that I dont like it, and not that I dont enjoy the fellow crab lovers, but it's certainly overwhelming.
That plus other socials and such that I manage and real life stuff is just. IDK, it's a lot. Usually, if I get to this point, I just drop off, maybe delete the account if I really can't stand it, but I'm definitely not going to do that here.
At the very least, I'm going to empty out the submissions that have been piling up, but after that, I'm not sure. I may not even get through all of those, I've already been relying on those for a long time at this point, and I think that's pretty obvious.
It feels like a hassle to deal with those anyways since most people don't even identify what type of crab it is that they submit, so I have to take the time to find it, which is usually not at all easy. There are so many posts that I've just had to guess what to tag it as because I just don't know, and there's no solid answer that I can find, at least not usually.
Which is also partially my fault, I've never said anything about it before, and I never specified it at an earlier time to make incoming ones less stressful to deal with, but even so I just. I don't know, I don't.
I don't know exactly when it'll happen, but it's the most likely thing to happen from here. I think I'll modify some stuff about how I handle the daily-crabbys blog to make it easier on me when I come back, but I'm not entirely sure what that'll be. I've never managed a successful daily posting account before, I haven't the slightest clue how to make it all easier on me.
Sorry that this has gotten so long, I didn't mean to rant. There's just so much that I feel like I need to say.
This isn't something coming out of nowhere, and it isn't going to be immediate. I've thought about wanting to do this for a while, and I know I did this already not too long ago, but I didn't really change anything for myself, so I'm just burnt out a lot faster.
Sorry again, both for the length of this and the fact that it's going to happen, but I've just got to make things better for myself before I carry on long term. I really just fucked myself over by not doing this the first time, but if I don't do something about it eventually then I'll just end up hating this blog too much to continue.
🦀💜
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rapidhighway · 1 month
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dad just sent me an ominous text to intimidate me ig
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lupismaris · 15 days
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#nothing makes me truly reaffirm my commitment to being poly like the day after a rugby match#i love my bf. i love them wholly and truly for who they are. i dont want them to change outside of healing. y'know that being the best you.#but i dont want them to be someone else. so the fact theyre not a coddling caregiver isnt something I'm ever going to change in them.#they bring me coffee and check in on me and set reminders for my meds and tell me when they have to leave for errands with mum#but they always have to see to other responsibilities because they are that person.#and I love them for that. i love them for being a dutiful son and a pragmatic foreman who prepares for the week.#what does this have to do with polyam james you may ask? well ill tell you-#im learning as i have been for a while now#that as i am a chief caregiver for many ppl in my life including bf and now the ruggers (im a board member)#i deeply deeply DEEPLY want/need care when im in crisis or at a low point and theres no low point quite like post match#when your systems are coming down from adrenaline and everything fuckin hurts like hell and whats worse you're injured#im not good at being taken care of i acknowledge that. but to be coddled and handled with care rn?#have someone to sit with me and make me food and eat with me and help me stay tethered and hold me a bit and smoke with me#idk not even in a sex sense just to be held and cared for#thats why poly am is a thing for me. i love my partners and I dont want to change them i dont want to force all this on them#certain needs can be met by certain ppl in certain ways etc but love is love it is always love its just shown differently#as i was writing this bf called to say he was bringing home nonalc beer for me. i know he loves me. i know he cares. it's just different.#tbd im so very tired and achy and weepy today dont mind me#the match was great for the squad but im not thrilled with myself#hence wanting to curl up in a hole and not come out
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bonestrouslingbones · 28 days
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
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#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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secondchoice-ragdoll · 4 months
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#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good”#i love the tour pic above K!#and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2#K the avid winker...#its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭#T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K))#T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows.#fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to.#its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭)#T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭#aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces#(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......)#oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :(#T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭#K watching the pod...... my heart......#why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u!#i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭#constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh#well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁#K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it...#their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing!#its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!”#its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4)#“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her)#them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF)#also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :(((#trixie mattel#katya zamo#tbatb#the brians
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