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dalekofchaos · 5 months

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Choices I would've added to Life Is Strange

I posted this on the LIS subreddit and thought I'd post it on here.

I wanted to keep to the same story without altering anything major, otherwise I would've stuck to the original plotline with Sean as the big bad, Nathan knowing about the storm, have Max, Chloe, Warren and Victoria team up to give Warren, Kate and Victoria more screen time and give them romance paths and add a ending where Max goes back to save Rachel, Chloe and the Bay.

I might be breaking a rule by adding more Warren, but cut content suggests we were meant to see Max, Chloe and Warren together as a team. Concept art sketch for a cut scene by Edouard Caplain, depicting Max Caulfield, Chloe Price and Warren Graham

Episode 1

Take photo of David harassing Kate. Rewind. Comfort Kate. Keep photo. To this day it baffles me that this is the only time - the only time - where the game breaks its own rules of "Max keeps things on her when she rewinds." Even small things like helping Joyce make breakfast respects this rule. If you tell Joyce you want one thing, grab all the ingredients, and then rewind to tell her you want the other thing, all the ingredients you grabbed are still in your inventory! You can have the items for both breakfasts in your inventory. Though the game does remove them all once you talk to Joyce and commit to making breakfast. You could make an argument that the photo didn't exist to the point she rewinds to, which breaks the semantics of how the time-rewind works (notably how if you pick up an object off say a table, then rewind to before you picked it up, it's still no longer on the table), but it still annoys me endlessly. Because that was my natural thought on that sequence, and the game just slaps your wrist and says "No. In this game all about rewinding and undoing your decisions and not having to commit to them, you have to commit to one." It becomes more relevant and thematic in later chapters, but it just felt oddly out of place so early in Chapter 2.

The choice between Help Warren before jumping into Chloe's truck or not. If you help Warren, Max kicks Nathan in the balls and Warren doesn't get a black eye. If you don't help, Warren gets a black eye as was in canon

Warren romance playthrough. A series of choices to help flesh out Warren as a character and a potential partner for Max. Continuing on the Help Warren choice. Helping Warren also leads to Warren hopping in the truck with Max and Chloe. Warren has a black eye from the headbutt and Chloe offers to use the first aid kit in the bathroom. Cute scene where Max helps Warren reduces the swelling of his black eye and you have the option to hold Warren’s hand or not. Warren takes off when his eye is healed up enough and wishes Max well in reconnecting with Chloe

If you choose to comfort Victoria, this leads to an actual friendship with Victoria. When she sends the thnx but we're not friends" text, you can reply insisting on it. This will prompt you to go back to the dormitories and when you go back to Vic’s dorm, Max and Victoria get to talk, become close, show Victoria the pictures Max has taken, have a laugh over the email situation and get Victoria to see the way she was treating Kate was wrong. Victoria will tell Max that she was jealous over her not caring what anyone thinks of her and thanks Max for coming and invites her to join the Vortex Club as it needs real cool people like her and not snobs and suck ups. Max asks advice on what to do with Chloe and tells her how guilty she feels for not keeping in touch and asks what she should do. Victoria tells Max to suck it up and get back in touch and make it up to Chloe and Max thanks Victoria for the advice and they leave as friends.

If you took Victoria's photo after Chloe proclaims "booyah skank, karma's a bitch" Chloe will ask to keep it because it gives her joy to seeing Victoria brought down to a peg and that Rachel would've loved it.(will add onto this for the other episodes)

Episode 1 ends with Max, Chloe and Warren together as the snow falls(evidenced by the concept art)

Episode 2

Romance Warren path. After Warren's offer to Go Ape, Max gets to explain her powers and the situation with Kate and Nathan. We get to prove it to Warren, we also get to learn more about Warren as a character. We find out Warren is basically the boy version of Matilda. Was neglected as a child, so he chose books and science as his passion and sci-fi and it made him feel whole.(idk this was the best I could come up with, but it’s more than what DONTNOD has given us) then Warren will promise that he will look around and help out with Kate.

Max will take photographic evidence of Nathan vandalizing Max's room and leaving the threatening messages. When Max accuses Nathan at the end of the episode, she presents it to Wells, Wells recognizes the message as Nathan's handwriting and Jefferson recognizes the photo as Nathan's style and this leads to Nathan spending the night in jail as well as being suspended.

Continuing on from Chloe and Victoria's paint photo. We are given the chance to tell Chloe about Kate's situation and let’s say in addition to showing off our powers to Chloe, Max tells Chloe about Kate’s ordeal and Chloe’s just as pissed as Max. Maybe in the Junkyard or on the way back to Blackwell, Chloe will offer Max to mass produce the pictures, post them everywhere at Blackwell and email the picture so she can post it online. She says “let’s call this Kate’s revenge” if you accept this will happen throughout episodes 3-4. -Victoria feels what it’s like to be humiliated and bullied and feels some humility -Everyone in the Vortex Club except Nathan turns on Victoria -Everyone in Blackwell calls her “paintgirl” and some things worse. -Victoria absolutely hates us and when she sends her texts, Max can either apologize or stand her ground and call her out like the bitch she is “karma’s a bitch ain’t it? this is what you made Kate feel. You deserved every bit of it.” -At the party, you can try to make nice and Victoria will learn a lesson that there are consequences for her actions. You can either forgive or condemn Victoria. Whichever you choose, you then choose to warn her or not about Nathan.

Continuing on the Victoria friendship. Victoria is genuinely nice to Kate and apologizes and says she deleted the video. This will prompt a hopeful Kate and a Taylor asking “wtf was that and Victoria laying down the law yelling “be nice to Kate and Caulfield, that’s an order” Continuing on after Max convinces Courtney to let her in the guest list and into Jefferson’s room, Nathan will be his mean self but Victoria will say “be nice to Max, she’s my best friend” Victoria will start calling Max Maxine, while Max doesn’t like it, Max will allow her to call her that if she gets to call Victoria “Tori” Victoria and Max will have a moment to talk before class starts. Catches up, Max shows the photos she’s taken in episode 2, asks how Kate’s doing and finally Victoria personally invites Max to the End Of The World Party and you are given the choice yes or no, obviously you choose yes. Which prompts Victoria to say “congratulations Max Caulfield, you’re officially a VIP member of the Vortex Club”

Episode 3

Warren romance path. Max, Chloe and Warren will be investigating Blackwell together. Warren will use his hacking skills to help them break into school. They each search for clues. In the Principals office of course, but also searching where the last Vortex Club was in search of anything that might help. Warren keeps a lookout while Max and Chloe skinny dips in the pool and Warren is the one to warn them to hide. You get the choice of choosing between going to Chloe’s place or going to Warren’s dorm. In Warren’s dorm, it will open with Max and Warren holding each other, Max at first blushes, but embraces the moment and the two taking a selfie together. We see Warren's dorm looking like this. Max talks to Warren, about how much she appreciates Warren for always being by her side, and Kate's. Warren tells Max that he loves her And a choice prompts to Kiss Warren or Hug. In place of Max wearing Rachel's clothes, Max wears one of Warren's nerdy shirts. They will talk and say they should go on a date to the End Of The World Party as a date and a means to spy on Nathan and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone again. Chloe texts Max to come over and Max kisses Warren goodbye and says “see you later my white knight.”

Victoria friendship path. In the beginning of episode 3, Victoria sends a text congratulating Max and saying she’s proud she did something, while Max says she did more by the end and saying she’s proud of Tori

When we kiss Chloe, Chloe doesn’t push back, she embraces Max in a kiss

When we choose the “Side with Chloe” option in episode 3, we print out David’s evidence and take pictures of the surveillance footage as proof for Joyce. We talk about it but we don’t show it to Joyce and Joyce automatically sides with Max. I’d also have David snap and attempt to hit Chloe and Joyce stops him and finally puts her foot down with David and shows him the door. Always bothered me that Joyce only begins to side against David by Max's word. She might as well have screamed that Max was the golden child. Joyce spent literal years watching David treating Chloe like crap right in front of her, and even now that he’s raising his hand at her she’s not reacting, but the second he talks a little too harshly to Max, she jumps to take her side and honestly. Chloe cannot not have noticed that. Obviously she wasn’t going to start a scene about this since they were already all fighting with David, but I’m pretty sure she would’ve under different circumstances because. The audacity. I would’ve gone mad.

Max will get to stand up to Chloe. Basically she puts her foot down on Chloe. After Chloe snaps after finding out about Rachel and mocking Kate's suicide attempt/suicide, Max can then lose her shit and stand up to Chloe. Basically says the way she treats her is not okay and if she wants to help her find Rachel and seek justice for Kate, then things are gonna have to change or they are finished. Then Max leaves Chloe behind with Chloe realizing that she needs to change. I just REALLY wanted Max to stand up to Chloe at the end of this episode instead of just letting Max act like a doormat and take her shit.

Not really a choice. But I'd alter one thing about Alternate's Max's look. Give her long hair, and tied up in a ponytail like she was a kid.

Episode 4

Not really a choice, but after the returning from her time jump, Max returns to her dorm and goes to Chloe. Chloe properly apologizes for how she’s been acting since they got back together and agree to put everything in the past so they can work together to find Rachel and give Kate justice. Would've been better than just seeing the apology over text.

Before we begin our investigation in episode 4. Max calls Joyce and David so everyone could let it all out. It’s basically the therapy that Joyce wanted David and Chloe to go to but didn’t. Chloe calls out David for his abuse for the last 3 years of her life and the fact that he made her feel like a prisoner in her own home and how much the cameras made it worse. Then Chloe calls him out on Rachel. “Rachel was my angel. She was the only good thing that ever happened to me since my dad died and you and the spoiled rich kid took her away from me. Worse. You stalked her like you stalked Kate. And now Rachel is missing. Congrats, David I hope it was fucking worth it.” Then Chloe unloads on Joyce. For all the times she covered for David’s abuse, choosing to either ignore or condone the abuse and for the fact that she’d rather pretend everything was fine. Maybe end it with “I didn’t need a fucking step-father, I needed my mother when I needed her most and your first instinct was to chose the worst fucking man to bring into my life. Fuck both of you.” Maybe after David and Joyce say their piece.(hopefully both of them being remorseful) Max can either choose to tell Chloe to forgive them or “fuck them” basically Max calls out David for his bullying and abusive behavior, Max can call out David. “You saw Frank, who was an adult, perving on Rachel, a high school student, you even had the evidence and you did nothing? Kate needed help and instead of being that help, you treated her like shit” David admits he fucked up with Rachel and wishes he could’ve sent his evidence to the police. then Max calls out Joyce for being a shitty mother. “I used to think you ruled Joyce, but you are a terrible mother. Chloe needed a mother and you failed her. She needed you, she didn't need you to bring some man she's never met before, she needed her mother who was traumatized and hurt by her father's death. And you let David hit your daughter and don't even see anything wrong with it? You talk about Chloe like she's a problem, like a burden. She's your daughter Joyce and she deserved better. ” David and Joyce would apologize to Chloe for the past three years and do better for Chloe. I don’t know how forgiving them would play out, maybe it would be therapeutic and would result in closure for the Price-Madsen family and they have a chance to start over after Max helps them in that direction. After choosing condemn them. I think Chloe would tell Max. “Max, thank you. I needed to finally let all that shit out.” “You deserved so much better Chloe.” “I got better Max, I got you.” And if you chose forgiveness. “I will still hate them both for how life went for the last 3 years, but I think we can start fresh. Thank you Max.”

Chloe would enter Kate’s hospital room with Max. We’d see Kate talking with Chloe and we find out that Kate was there for Chloe when Rachel went missing and made Chloe feel a little better, that’s why Chloe said “she’s cool”

Max can warn Kate about the storm and tell her to leave Arcadia Bay immediately.

Reject Warren path. After the Warren/Nathan situation. If you're pursuing Chloe and only choose platonic actions with Warren. Max gets the opportunity to turn Warren down. Max will tell him she's sorry, she just doesn't feel that way about Warren and just sees him as a cool geeky older brother and points out to Warren that Brooke likes him and that he should totally hook up with her, Warren appreciates for gently letting him down and is glad they can still be friends and says that he's glad Max has Chloe. You will see Warren and Brooke together at the party.

Max calls out Frank on his bullshit. Instead of choosing to befriend Frank, Max gets to call him out. Calls him out for turning Pompidou into a violent attack dog, the fact he sells drugs to kids and his predatory obsession with Rachel. “You didn’t love Rachel, you were obsessed with her and whatever you did drove her away and honestly? You’re not just a creepy drug dealer, you’re a pedophile, Frank.” Frank of course would get violent and you have two choices. Rewind and call the police or let Chloe shoot Frank and afterwords Max calls to animal services to protect Pompidou and give him a new home. Either you get the client book off of Frank’s dead body or you get it after the cops arrest Frank. Either way you get rid of a predator. Sorry, not sorry. I have no sympathy for people who prey on children.

Warren romance path. Instead of Warren appearing drunk, Warren waits for Max and awaits her on the dance floor. Max takes Warren to dance with and it's like a moment of peace or like the scene of Alex dancing with Duckie. It ends with Max and Warren kissing and Max taking a picture to capture the moment forever.

Continuing the Victoria friendship path. At the party, Victoria says, she's late, but she's happy Max is there. Max fills her in on what her day was like. Victoria is proud she and Chloe stood up to David and Joyce and that Kate is doing well. Max warns Victoria about Nathan. and as they part ways, Victoria hugs Max and tells her to be safe and call her if she or Chloe needs anything. But instead of going to Jefferson, Victoria goes to the hospital to visit Kate. As part of a culmination of your choices in the relationship with Victoria, you can encourage her to go and visit Kate to apologize in person. It wouldn't even have to be an extra scene, just part of the ending montage to an episode showing Victoria knocking on Kate's door and Kate opening it and inviting her inside. Maybe this could have been what happens to Victoria instead of ending up in the Dark Room. So if you do well enough to befriend her and she accepts your warning, she goes to see Kate and is spared being kidnapped by Jeffershit. if she doesn't accept your warning, she ends up in the DR. Would have been nice and felt more rewarding than what we got! Also? Kate would tell Victoria about Max's warning, meaning both Kate and Victoria would survive the storm!

We are given the opportunity to enter a photo for the Everyday Hero Contest. We enter at the last minute as Jefferson would give Max the opportunity. So Max with Kate’s permission, Kate would let Max take a photo of her in the hospital. Which wins the Everyday Hero Contest. Max gives an inspiring speech about how everyone can be a hero and that Kate has always inspired her, how much she loves Kate and that she hopes that Kate knows that she is loved by everyone in Blackwell and everyone would cheer Max on. This would also give Jefferson the means and opportunity to drug Max. It honestly works better than Jefferson magically appearing at the Junkyard with no explanation(and it never being brought up).

Episode 5

We are given the choice to save Nathan or let Jefferson kill him. Cut dialogue indicates there was something more meant for Nathan in the final episode. Jefferson says this to Max “Like you Max, I… am a camera. And like some cultures believe I’m going to use my camera. To capture… your… soul. Now take a break. I need to deal with Nathan first. Don’t worry, our session is just… getting started." I think Max could’ve helped Nathan in the dark room, to owe her the favor, Nathan would help Max.

Since I didn't have Chloe killed in Episode 4, Chloe and David would've worked together to save Max. Max and Chloe rush to diner to save Joyce, while also to use Warren's picture to go back in time. While at the diner we get a chance for Max to confess her feelings for Chloe and to tell Joyce while she approves.

While on the journey to the Lighthouse before the Nightmare world kicks in, we are given the choice to save everyone in the diner or leave everyone behind. After you save everyone at the diner, Chloe asks if they should double back to the hospital to save Kate and Victoria, but Max insists the hospital is so far from the storm and they'd be safer there anyway

Third ending. Sacrifice Max. Max screams no, Nathan freaks out and shoots Max. David subdues Nathan and Max is rushed to the hospital. Inspired by this comic and video

An addition to the endings. I wish we could have seen the last entry in Max's journal after she saved Chloe or Arcadia Bay. It would give one last glimpse into her thoughts, as well as clarify the endings a bit more. Also not really a choice, but an addition to the Bae ending. I'd make this ending twice as long, and the extra 5 minutes would be scenes following each other over the next few years. Show how Max and Chloe head to Seattle to visit Max's parents. Show how they help each other cope with trauma (like Chloe comforting Max when she wakes up from nightmares, or Max supporting Chloe at Joyce's funeral, or how they grieve every October 11). Show how Max doesn't give up on becoming a photographer, and Chloe is there to encourage her to follow her dreams. Show how they begin a romantic relationship (including the kiss this ending deserves) if you romanced Chloe. End it on a positive note as Max and Chloe buy the RV and go traveling like they always wanted to, and the last shot is Max and Chloe smiling at each other before hitting the road (as in the original Bae ending). Also among a few shots we might see Max and Chloe hanging out with Kate and Victoria - the former would be if you saved Kate, and the latter would be if you were nice to Victoria. and Nathan appearing if you saved him. What we'd see with Nathan is Nathan in a blue jacket like he has in the alternate timeline to reflect his new change in behavior and redemption. Hugging Victoria, apologizing to Kate, Max and Chloe. Hugging Victoria, Max and Kate and shaking Chloe's hand. I'm tempted to say he could've been in the Brody role in LIS 2, since he kind of fits Brody, cause Brody's line about his family having money but no soul would fit a Nathan after surviving the storm. It would have made this ending more complete, it wouldn't have required their cameos in the sequel, and already in 2015 it would have disproved the theories that death would continue to haunt Chloe/another storm would happen. Addition to the Bay Ending. I like to think it would be a collection of the montages we already got and Chloe’s funeral. But more. We’d see Max dealing with Chloe’s loss, her grief, but ultimately showing Max living her life and moving on. Show that Max still misses Chloe, but show her living her life. And just show Max living her best life with Warren, Kate, Brooke, Dana, Daniel, Stella and Alyssa. Even show montage of a friendship with Victoria. Show Max having a tea date with Kate. Show Max Goin Ape with Warren. Max doing photoshoots with Victoria and shopping dates with Victoria, Courtney and Taylor. Max doing group projects and games with Warren, Kate, Brooke, Stella, Alyssa, and Daniel. Max being Dana’s official photographer. And show Max and her friends graduating Blackwell and living their lives in Arcadia Bay. We just needed to see that despite losing Chloe, Max is okay and that while she will hold onto the memories of Chloe, she can live. The final scene is Max and Warren visiting the Lighthouse. The Blue Butterfly appears and it touches Max and as the Butterfly flies away, Max says "Goodbye Chloe as Warren holds onto Max and shares a kiss at the Lighthouse."

#Life Is Strange #Pricefield #Grahamfield #Chasemarsh #Chasefield #Max Caulfield #Chloe Price #Warren Graham #Kate Marsh #Victoria Chase #Nathan Prescott #David Madsen #Joyce Price #Mark Jefferson #Frank Bowers

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bluegekk0 · 2 months

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hey I can't seem to remember if Vyrm always had that name or if he only started using it post-hibernation

He was never given a name by his mother, I think by the time he was born, that stopped being a custom (if it even was one to begin with, as wyrms never actually formed a community like other intelligent creatures). Not to mention she didn't expect him to survive very long, so in her eyes the name wasn't needed.

He chose Vyrm as his name after reducing his form - it was meant to be somewhat symbolic, as he was the last wyrm. Vyrm (or vyrmen*) was the original name of his kind, which was later modified in many languages to be spelled as wyrm, alongside some differences in pronunciation (most notably, the R sound was noticeably less of a rolled R sound than in its original form, being closer to non-existent in many accents).

In Hallownest, the softer wyrm form was used to describe his tribe in texts and everyday speech, so by default it was misspelled and mispronounced in his eyes, which slightly discouraged him from using it. But the biggest reason why it was somewhat forgotten was that, after becoming the king, terms like "your Grace" were what he was referred to in person, and to everyone else he was simply known as The Pale King. So he didn't have many opportunities to actually use it, especially since it was seen as inappropriate to get personal with his subjects.

The White Lady did refer to him by a personal name, but unfortunately in its derived form. In writing, she used Wyrm, and in speech, it lacked the "sharper" pronunciation of the name he chose for himself. He tried correcting her, but to no avail, as she often dismissed it as a triviality. Over time, he gave up, and decided to keep his actual name to himself.

So the day they met for the first time, when Grimm eventually asked him for his name, he hesitated. He was used to others bastardizing the name, and he didn't have the mental strength to keep correcting them. But he answered Grimm's question out of politeness, and was surprised when he heard repeated to him flawlessly. It felt extremely validating, and was one of the contributing factors why he opened up despite just having met Grimm.

Grimm was the only bug who respected his name at that time, so he continued to keep it private outside of their meetings, and would do so for the remainder of his rule. After waking up from hibernation years later, he was on his own, until Hornet found him. His reunion with Grimm meant that he, once again, heard his chosen name out loud, and that was when it became his official name that he would introduce himself with. Yes, there were situations where his name was, once again, misspelled and mispronounced (particularly when the speaker made the connection between vyrm and wyrm, and subconsciously used the latter), and he didn't have the confidence to correct them. But since he spent a lot of time accompanied by Grimm, other bugs were quickly made aware of their error and were able to adapt.

The respect he gained among the Dirtmouth bugs also contributed to them respecting his chosen name in return, and now, 10 years later, all of the bugs who know him use his name correctly, even if the common term for his tribe is still wyrm. But it doesn't bother him anymore, his chosen name has finally been validated and respected, and in many ways it symbolizes that he not only evolved past the cruel ways of his kind that rejected him, but also gained enough confidence to stay true to himself.

*As a little extra note - his name is vyrm, which is the singular form. So the proper name of his tribe is vyrmen, with -en forming the plural form (like in ox -> oxen, which comes from Old English). The modified form follows the regular English pluralization (wyrm -> wyrms). In my posts, to make the clear distinction between Vyrm the individual and his kind, I use the term wyrm for the latter. In-universe, this also applies, as the term vyrmen is considered archaic, and was replaced by wyrms (or The Wyrm Tribe).

#this might sound confusing so apologies for that #i want to write a separate worldanvil page for the wyrms so it will be properly explained there #ask stuff #feral pk au #au worldbuilding #save #fpk #vyrm #grimm #wyrms

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wildshero · 3 years

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@hyruleir said: aloe, amaryllis, anemone, begonia, lavender, mint, poppy, snapdragon, zinnia

{ x - accepting }

aloe - how does your muse handle grief ?

He takes it all in internally. This part of the silent knight that continuously will stay with him. His grief is silent, but do not mistake it for not feeling. Link internalizes it so as to not burden others with his grief. When he regains his memories fully, and learns fully of who all has died because of his failure he grieves. When he goes through the Champion’s ballad after the final blight fight is the first and potentially only time he has ever openly grieved. Learning exactly what they went through and barely making it out himself it tears him up both inside and out and he cannot control that grief. Hyrules knows this day as everything seemed dull in a way that it never had before.

amaryllis - what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ? how do they express that pride ?

He takes pride in his duty as a knight for sure. But that is obvious I would like to think it is at least. However post Calamity he takes pride in how Hyrule is flourishing again with the wilderness and civilizations as few as they are working in tandem in a way that hasn’t been seen before, the proof of this is with the growth of the Silent Princess. They express their pride by embracing what they are prideful in. He embraces the role of Zelda’s knight, and he embraces the wild land that he is the hero of.

anemone - how does your muse view the world ; as a cruel & unforgiving place , a land full of wonders , or something in - between ? where does that world view come from ( what experiences , life lessons , etc . ) ?

Oh definitely a land full of wonders. This comes from his own desire to explore and be one with the land, but it also comes from the ability to do so, so freely once he wakes up after one hundred years. He is still Zelda’s knight but he doesn’t have the same pressure on him he once felt. It is completely different. I also think part of it is sparked from Zelda’s love of research of the land. He matches that with his love to explore and collect things for her. But it is definitely something from within after all he is dubbed as Hero of the Wild.

begonia - how cautious is your muse ? are they prone to noticing red flags , or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ? why or why not ?

Link isn’t really cautious at all. He is cautious around travelers on the road because they could be Yiga but they have a very large tell which is the Banana question or typically asking about the Hero so directly. Link is though a generally trusting person and willing to help anyone and everyone. After all he ends up helping build a town, only Link would be roped into doing that. But further he’s not cautious, he is strategic but not really cautious.

lavender - how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ? once their trust is broken , how might one go about mending it ?

Gaining the full force of Link’s trust is very hard. Getting Link to trust you, not so much. But gaining all of Link’s trust is not an easy feat, very few have done it. Those people are the original champions, Zelda, the champion successors, Bolson. I’d say the Sheikah but Link has a very complicated relationship with them so they don’t have the full force of his trust, I also think they would be the first to break it due to differences in how Zelda should be protected. If his trust is broken mending it isn’t easy. Its never been done, but also his trust has not ever been broken. But mending it would take a literal act of Hylia for it to happen. Link is a kind person at heart, and to betray that openness he has, its not something Link wants to forgive.

mint - does your muse view themself as virtuous & moral ? what do these words mean to them ?

I like to think he is. I’m not sure what he thinks. I think everyone in Hyrule both pre and post 100 years definitely thinks he is virtuous and moral and it is definitely how he comes across to citizens with his willingness to help them in their needs. To him they don’t really mean anything but a title he carries, and I feel that it is a weight that he will realize is weighing down on him, at least he did before the 100 years. After the 100 years he stopped worrying so much about what others thought, but I think it definitely has an ability to creep again especially with breath of the wild 2 on the horizon.

poppy - what comforts your muse ?

The sounds of nature. Link likes being out in the wild. He likes the wind in the trees, the crickets, the sound of a waterfall. His house is just far enough away from Hateno that he gets that, without being totally separate from society. But he loves the sounds and smells of the forests. Korok forest and the Faron region jungle and grasslands. Also Zelda. In Creating a Champion with the original translation of the text Link says he wants to see Zelda smile again, and that he is doing this to see her smile again. So I think in part is seeing Zelda smile, but also just her as a person. Before the Calamity Mipha was someone who he found great comfort in as he grew up around her. I also think that both Urbosa and Daruk were two that Link also found comfort in because both of them allowed him to not be a knight, and they saw him for more than the knight he was, but the person he wanted so desperately to always be.

snapdragon - is your muse merciful ? why or why not ?

It entirely depends on the person. Link is not merciful to the yiga or the monsters, but other citizens in Hyrule, other people he gives multiple chances to. He gives ways to correct their wrongs a notable example of this is the Gerudo who is littering in the water source. However, when it comes to combat and fighting an enemy Link does not hesitate.

zinnia - how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ? has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

It tears him apart. Upon regaining his memories he feels immense guilt. As stated above when he finishes the last blight fight from the Champion’s ballad he is in pure anguish over his failure over how he lost them. It tears him apart, and nothing can ever fill their roles. He is lucky their abilities and their spirits are their as a guide because at least he has that. It is not them, it does not make him whole but he fully feels their loss and always will. It like the scars from the guardians will always mark him out. Loosing them taught him it is okay to not only be emotional over what he loss, but rejoice in their legacies. He knows Urbosa would be beyond pleased of Riju and her bravery. He knows Daruk would cherish Yunobo and his courage. He knows Mipha would be proud of her brother Sidon and his heart. And he knows deep down despite all the irritation he and Revali had for each other, he knows Revali would be puffing out his feathers in satisfaction at Teba and his power. While the champion’s successors might not be the champions they may never take that place in Link’s heart, loosing them only showed Link just how big his heart can be. Love for his friends and family is never lost, even if memory fades, there will always be something to help you remember along the way.

#i legit cries writing zinnia #meme response #ooc: out of memories #hyruleir #answered

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asteriuszenith · 4 years

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VT Investigation Files: POI Files: Nocturne

(Masterpost)

Account/s

Blogspot

Updated As Of:

7/27/2020

With Regards to His Name

Nocturne is obviously not his real name. He preferred to use that pseudonym in order to maintain some anonymity despite, as he claimed, the fact that a lot of people already probably know his true name due to his whistleblowing days for a company like Montauk. I suppose it could also be a way for him to become more comfortable with sharing his own personal feelings by pretending that the anonymity could protect him from behind the scene.

Nevertheless, as a point of reference for my own files, I’ll state it here that his name is Vincent.

The name Nocturne has a rather interesting meaning behind it. According to google dot com, a nocturne is usually either a musical composition or a work of art that is inspired by, or evocative of, the night.

Vincent, on the other hand, came from the Roman name Vincentius, which was also derived from the latin word vicere which means “to conquer”.

The Nocturnal Archives

Nocturne created The Nocturnal Archives blogger account in order to record his journey on life after he graduated from high school.

At least, that had been the original intention of the blog before a certain event obviously caused an upheaval on his personal life.

After the death of Adrain Carter on October 14 2017, Nocturne became emboldened, or rather to be more accurate, passionate slash obsessed with finding the truth. What sort of truth? I think that originally, it was just to prove his mentor’s innocence with regards to the sexual harassment allegations Dr. Miz Cardozo made around a month after Adrian Carter’s death. However, the deeper he searched for the truth, the more he realized that it wasn’t just about proving his mentor’s innocence at that point but also beginning to pinpoint certain things that doesn’t add up such as his mentor’s research, the fishy events circulating around Miz Cardozo herself, and more.

Most of the entries in the blog contained some self-reflection and reminiscing that tells us of Nocturne’s inner thoughts as well as little facts sprinkled in here and there that told us more about what sort of person he was. Most of the times, however, the entries would focus on his journey for the truth, telling us with some frustration that he’s been encountering roadblock after roadblock in his search for information and sometimes, even when he got some intel, whenever he attempted to piece them all together… It always felt like there was something off or impossible about the information.

It’s definitely a very personal blog and for someone who gives off the vibes that he is a very private person save for when he is around people that he actually cares about, I’m surprised that he actually took the suggestion of his friend to create this blog and put it on public seriously.

Another thing that I’ve noticed on the format of the blog is that it might be heavily inspired by the House of the Leaves book written by Mark Z. Danielewski considering quotes from the book are heavily peppered in around the different entries especially when he’s getting in too deep when he’s talking about a heavy topic. Did he deliberately edit it like that? I don’t know. But I suppose I could always ask him when I manage to muster up the courage to actually talk in the comments.

On the Topic of Adrian Carter

Nocturne looks up to Adrian Carter. He’s constantly singing the man praises for his genius work and personality. He also admired Adrian’s parenting skills and his parent-child relationship with Cassie Carter, noting that despite the long periods of time when they’re physically distant, Adrian was still a hell lot more present in Cassie’s life compared to his own parents who lived much closer to him in distance.

As I said, Nocturne looks up to Adrian as his role model. He admitted in one of his entries that he practically worshipped the grounds the man walked upon with some self-aware light hearted humor:

“It felt like God himself had come down and was like, ‘hey guys, lemme give you some guidance in person here, face-to-godly-face.’”

I wonder if Adrian considered Nocturne as his personal student. If Adrian had been obsessed with perfecting the RedMan then he would have only allowed people that he trusted to influence the creation of the AI, right? So the good relationship between the mentor-student must have been a mutual one.

It appears that Adrian left behind his research to Nocturne or at least, Nocturne had been able to access the man’s lifelong research studies and projects as the creator of the blog had been expressing a nice mixture of appreciation, confusion, and frustration from what he was reading from Adrian’s texts. It appears that most of it doesn’t seem to make sense. He claimed that Adrian seems to have been looking for monsters in the dark judging from some of the ramblings he read through.

Still, Nocturne has nothing but respect and good words for his mentor despite his frustration. He remembers the man fondly and is very much insistent on clearing Adrian’s name after Miz Cardozo stained it with her confession.

Miz Cardozo

It appears as if the two barely crossed paths even as they worked closely with the same man. Nocturne mentioned that Adrian never worked with the three of them together, only ever working with him once Cardozo had gone home for the day (they were working together on RedMan). This claim might get updates if Nocturne will divulge more details on his and Cardozo’s relationship, if there is one outside of the loathing vibes he’d often give off whenever he talked about Cardozo on his blog.

Originally, Nocturne had stayed his tongue when talking about Cardozo after the harassment confession came out. It appeared that he was rejecting the notion that Adrian Carter would do such a thing and was also rather peeved at seeing how Cardozo turned a blind eye on how the world decided to treat Cassie as their newest scapegoat. He decided then that he’ll get to the bottom of these claims, find out for himself and for Cassie’s peace of mind on whether Cardozo’s claims were the truth. If not, he will let the world know of Cardozo’s lies and prove his mentor’s innocence.

However, when the news about Rosemary Road came out, all pretenses of politeness finally melted away from his mask and Nocturne basically declared war against Cardozo calling her a despicable person who had done so much disgusting things that it wouldn’t be surprising if they found out that she made that sexual harassment allegations in order to give her a better chance at taking Adrian’s place on the company as its new CEO.

Miz responded with a mocking, passive-aggressive post that called him a delusional conspiracy theorist and may or may not have peppered in some subtle/not so subtle threats at the end of his section in her answering post to his and Cassie’s callout posts.

Needless to say, I really wouldn’t recommend leaving these two alone together in one room as they might as well start ripping each other to shreds.

Montauk

Nocturne interned in Montauk during his last year in highschool and while he was studying in UCLA. During his time there, he must have shown a lot of promise to have captured Adrian Carter’s attention and satisfied his expectations along with maintaining an amicable relationship with the man to the point that he allowed him to work with him on RedMan.

However, as the years passed by, notably after Adrian’s death, the relationship between the corporation and this man must have soured enough due to Nocturne’s own digging into the company’s dirty secrets that he whistleblowed on the company’s shady dealings. Was the issue that he blew the whistle on the dubious experiments that caused the deaths of so many people? Perhaps that’s another thing to ask him in the future too.

Cabbage Girl

One day, during the summer of 2015, Nocturne burst into his mentor’s office without knocking in order to tell him about his progress on his tasks and met the daughter of Montauk in a humorous way that the head of the massive corporation introduced his daughter to him and created the birth of the fondly remembered inside joke slash nickname “Cabbage”.

Nocturne and Cassie are obviously close as they are both cohabiting together and are actually in a romantic relationship with one another. The man obviously adores Cassie, his dorky little love letter praising her and telling her how much he loves her in his blog is already evidence enough as it provided a glimpse into the man’s softer side that I believe is generally reserved for his cat, Cassie, and their friends. He’s also really protective of her which is rather cute, in my opinion. He’s been really supportive of her over the past years since her father’s death and you could see it or rather hear it in the way Cassie would often pepper in (heh) mentions of him during her stories over the months.

However, it does make one wonder if they both think that it’s just the two of them against the world as nobody or almost nobody is taking their side that Adrian Carter is innocent of the accusation that Cardozo threw at him after his death. From what I saw, the world even condemned Cassie for not ‘cancelling’ her father.

Thankfully, they are both acting as each other’s support system in their trying times and from what I observed in the tiny peeks into their interactions with each other in Cassie’s entries and Nocturne’s journals, they trust the other to drag them out of their own heads when they get in too deep in their own thoughts to the point that they were shutting the world out. I’m just glad that they’re not alone right now as what they are attempting to do would be nigh impossible without anyone they could trust backing them.

Investigations and Seeking the Truth

Nocturne seems to have taken it upon himself to investigate a hell lot of things in his quest for the truth. The Cardozo-Lawrence case, Cardozo’s Relationship with Adrian Carter, the thing with Rosemary Road, Montauk Stuff, Continuing Adrian Carter’s Research and Projects, and it seems he’s beginning to delve into investigating the Bureau of Unreality and how they seem to be innately connected to Cardozo and Montauk and the Rosemary Road case.

All I can say is… My dude, my man, you need to learn how to delegate this shit to others.

(Bold words coming from someone who’s also doing the same thing. Jesus fucking Christ, Robin… What on earth are you doing?)

No wonder he’s having a hard time seeing the forest making up the trees when he’s trying to take in so much information as much as he can. I can’t exactly blame him since I’m not any better but seriously… This is just one massive way to burn ourselves out easily. Anyway—

It appears that for every information that he gets, he also receives fifty more questions which would understandably be very frustrating for him and it doesn’t help that since this is something that could bring quite the dirt into light, a lot of people and organizations are trying to prevent him from being able to dig in too deep and sink his teeth into actually helpful information rather than being led away into another possible dead end via crumbs for intel which would equal to a lot of time lost which could have been used for actual progression in the investigation.

I would suggest finding someone they could trust in order to help them with the investigation but how would you even know if somebody is trustworthy when it seems like the entire universe is completely against you finding the truth?

How would one be assured that the person whom they dragged in to help would also fall for the same trap of getting stuck in the minimal details to the point that they start seeing and hunting for monsters and lies in the dark? Especially when you, yourself, are starting to fall for the same trick?

Honestly? I don’t know if any of us would have an actual answer to that question. You could go the path of the more people to help with the search for the truth, the better, but then wouldn’t that just run the risk of all of us suffering from a horrid game of Telephone? It’s just such a high risk thing.

Either way, it seems that Nocturne’s investigation did at least yield some intel as word about his determination to find out what the actual fuck is happening in the world is getting around and people have started giving him leads that did bear some fruit even if it also created more questions.

Your Cat Pictures… Give It To Me.

Oh.

Nocturne also has a cat baby named Truant and I want a picture of him, damn it!

Somebody stop me from spamming the shit out of the poor man’s blog with begs for serotonin shots.

#voxtenebris #puppet collection #puppetcollection #arg

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twilight-adamo · 5 years

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Author’s Notes: Brave New World, Chapter 1: The Parting of the Ways

In April 2018, the same day I posted the epilogue to As Dreams Are Made On, I wrote the first scene of Brave New World, and most of the second. And then I got stuck, for quite a long time. I lost myself in research, tried to build out my plans, tried to focus on other things for a time, particularly These Our Actors, which posed its own challenges - but I’ll cover that in my author’s notes on Rosalie’s installment. I had a difficult year for a number of reasons. For a time I wasn’t writing at all.

I see from the revision history that I only came back to Brave New World in February of this year, spent a couple days on it, and left it alone again until June. June was when I finally realized that there was one particular thing in my life that was destroying my mental health and my ability to create, and that I was carrying on with it out of a sense of obligation, but I’d help no one - least of all myself - if I wore myself down on it. So, reluctantly, I dropped the obligation that was dominating my mental landscape, I took a step back, and I allowed myself to breathe. I’m still not working at a hundred percent, but I am getting better. And over the last few days, I’ve been able to write again.

My original plan for this chapter had been to focus on the wedding of Charlie and Kate, and I threw myself into a ton of wedding research, wanting to get everything just right. I figured Carlisle would officiate, so I researched Anglican marriage services and drew heavily on what I found. I looked at venues and considered colors and organized the wedding party and stopped just short of actually planning an entire wedding. And I got through the ceremony, which felt shorter than it should be, and I was beginning to write what came after, and I was thinking about what I had planned for the reception (notably what probably would have been an even cheesier musical moment than the rendition of “The Best Is Yet To Come” from the epilogue of As Dreams Are Made On), and I realized...none of it was working from me. It was indulgent in a story which is already going to get indulgent in parts, but worse, it was dull. My protagonist didn’t have much to do aside from stand and watch and react.

I also wanted to have a family meeting scene where we got some sense of where everyone was going over the summer, what they were doing, and I had a choice between tacking it onto the end of an overstuffed and boring first chapter or onto the beginning of the second chapter, which I’d planned to set primarily in Jacksonville. So I finally looked at the ten or so pages of wedding stuff I’d already written, considered how much more I would need to get through and how little I would enjoy it, and decided it all had to go. The first chapter would focus entirely on the family meeting, a last goodbye to Forks before I started the grand road trip that would take up the first few chapters of the book. Once I’d figured that out, I finished the first chapter in a day or two. It’s still a little more talking than I’d like and a little less action, but I think it sets up the next chunk of story nicely, at least.

As for the stuff I didn’t cut: as I said, Bella’s nightmare was the very first thing I wrote. I’ve made some minor tweaks here and there, but it’s pretty close to what I originally wrote over a year ago. I wanted to show some of the psychological effect of Bella’s decision to start a fight with the Volturi, I wanted to show that Eleazar’s panicked reaction to whatever he saw had affected her, and I wanted to start things off with a sense of menace hanging over our heroes. The Cullens and their extended network of friends and family may not be in a state of outright war, but there is still danger lurking at the edges of their lives, and unresolved mysteries hiding just below the surface of things. I wanted to spin a vision of something that could yet be, and establish that “happily ever after” is still a long way away, down a dark and twisted road.

It was also just enormous fun to write.

And it was a nice segue into a domestic scene with Alice and Bella, a glimpse of their lives a few weeks on from our last visit with them. We already got such a glimpse in the epilogue of the last volume, but seeing as that chapter was focused largely on prom, I thought they deserved a little alone time.

I spent a great deal of time trying to work out the plan for the summer - where everyone would be going, what they would be doing. I actually nearly forgot to include Eleanor in those plans, up until the last minute. I’m sorry to say that, focused as Brave New World is on Bella’s perspective, we’re not going to see much of the others’ adventures in this text, but they’re certainly fodder for future installments of These Our Actors, and Bella will get updates here and there, particularly once everyone is reunited in Forks. Bella, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett will all have quite enough on their own plates, so hopefully none of you will be bored.

There will be much more of Renée - and Phil - in the next chapter, which will cover the gang’s time in Jacksonville. I confess I’ve never been to Jacksonville (I’ve really only visited Florida for the theme parks) so I’ve got a bit of research to do. “I’ve got a bit of research to do” is likely to be my recurring mantra on this story, as I’m trying to blow out the boundaries of this world, introduce vampires we never met in the Twilight novels from places that were never really touched on, and perhaps bring in stranger things besides. But that’s a way off. For now, I’m a little ways into Chapter 2 (and have even written a bit of Chapter 3), and having great fun writing Bella’s free-spirited mother. I hope you’ll love my take on her as much as I do.

And now, as a bonus, I present the raw text cut from Chapter 1 of Brave New World. I’ve held onto it for reference, in case I decide to draw on it for flashbacks or a future installment of These Our Actors, and it’s possible the details may change, but since I don’t have any plans for it now, I thought I’d share what I came up with before I changed directions. It’s under the cut. I’m afraid not all my formatting carried over into Tumblr’s interface, but you should get the gist.

(Picking up from the end of the scene with Bella and Alice in bed at the cottage.)

I’d been pretty scarce around Forks the last few weeks, since school let out - I’d completely missed late spring giving way to high summer. Officially, I had been busy helping my dad and his new bride with wedding preparations. In actuality, I’d spent most of that time dropping into comas, recovering from them, and moving on to the next. I’d had a limited window of opportunity to turn a few select vampires human, and no time to waste. Edward had been the first to volunteer - he’d told Angela the truth, and she’d eventually decided she wanted to be with him regardless, but he still wanted to lose his bloodlust for the time being, and needed a bit of a break from everyone else’s thoughts after the past few months. I had carefully packed his powers away for safekeeping, then taken his vampirism from him. At his request, we were leaving him human until he reached his long-delayed eighteenth birthday.

Rosalie, Eleanor and Emmett had decided to turn human, too, and I had requested that they stay that way until Carlisle had finished identifying effective birth control techniques for hybrids, or at least until the summer ended. Kate hadn’t become pregnant just yet - and I really didn’t want to consider just how miraculous that was - but I didn’t want to push our luck with another extremely sexual and potentially fertile couple. Or thruple, as the case seemed to be - they had become much more open in their mutual affections toward Eleanor since she and Jessamine had moved to Forks.

Jasper and his sister - now going by Mina to avoid confusion - had decided to stay vampires for the time being, as had Carlisle, Esme, Tanya and Irina, though I had made my tweaks to the new arrivals so they and the shifters would no longer find one another offensive, assuming the vampires all stuck to non-human blood. It was just as well. With a five day coma after each de-vamping exercise and a day for recovery, I’d been cutting things awfully close to the rehearsal and the wedding itself. And no matter what dad said, I still felt a little guilty about that, even if he and Kate had plenty of help from everyone else. Especially since I was in the wedding party, if not precisely in the role I’d expected. At least I wasn’t maid of honor or best man, so to speak - those particular honors had gone to Irina and to Harry Clearwater, respectively. But I was still expected to stand at the altar.

After a luxurious spell in bed, followed by a relaxed breakfast and a shower, Alice “helped” me dress in the tuxedo she’d made for me, complete with high-collared blouse, fitted waistcoat, and a navy blue bow tie and cummerbund, all of it tailored perfectly to my frame. In all honesty, it was a blatant excuse to get her hands all over me and take me in one last time before the ceremony, but I can’t say I minded. At last, she finished, tying my hair back with a navy ribbon and kissing me softly, leaving me to finish my makeup while she hurried to meet Kate, Irina and the other bridesmaids.

Once I’d finished preparing, there wasn’t much left to do but head for the Cullens’ house, where dad and the rest of his party would be waiting until the time came to head for the venue. A mixed crowd of humans, hybrids, werewolves and most importantly vampires meant we were taking no chances with an outdoor wedding, and we were probably one of the few wedding parties this summer hoping for rain, or at least overcast skies. Fortunately, we’d gotten the latter, at least long enough to get the vampires into the hall, and by the time the reception was over with, it would be well past sunset.

It didn’t take too long to walk to the main house from the love nest Alice and I had made of Pine Cottage, and I arrived to find the others gathered around a table in the den, in the middle of a game of poker. There were two other groomsmen after Harry and myself: Emmett, and dad’s Deputy Chief, Joe Miller. From the pile of chips in front of him and the enormous frat boy grin on his face, it looked like Emmett was taking the others for all they were worth.

“Hey Bella!” he called out, waving as I came in and gesturing at the empty seat beside my father. “Want us to deal you in?”

I chuckled, taking the seat but shaking my head. “Thanks, but Alice already warned me about you. Hey, dad. Please tell me you didn’t put your honeymoon fund on the line.”

I nudged him with my shoulder, and he slung his arm around me, giving me a brief hug. “Hi, kiddo. The honeymoon fund’s safe. Kate would kill me. You girls didn’t think to warn me?”

“Well, you know, I’ve been busy. Distracted. And I figured Emmett would be too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a man on his wedding day,” I added, shooting a mock glare at the ex-vampire in question.

“Your first mistake was assuming I’m any kind of gentleman,” Emmett returned, with a broad smirk. “Besides, I respect Charlie too much to just let him win.”

Dad gave him a deadpan look. “I’m touched. Really. You can respect me a little less, though.”

“Can’t do it, sir.” Emmett drew himself up, looking impossibly earnest, save for the twinkle in his eye. “Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be.”

“He’s been like this for the last hour. I’m starting to think he’s just always on,” Deputy Chief Miller remarked, glancing my way. “How’s your summer been, Bella?”

“Trust me, this is just the tip of the iceberg with him,” I replied, gesturing at Emmett, who chuckled. “Oh, you know, good. Busy with wedding stuff, getting ready to leave town, all that. Alice and I are heading to Jacksonville with mom and Phil after the wedding, we’ll be back in August.”

“Your, uh, girlfriend’s going on vacation with you?” he said, his eyebrows rising.

“Don’t worry, Rose and me will be chaperoning,” Emmett interjected cheerfully.

Dad cleared his throat. “More importantly, Renée and her husband will be providing adult supervision. And separate guest rooms.”

I bit my lip to hide my smile. I still didn’t really have memories of my mom - or, rather, the mom I had here and now - and I’d only recently gotten to spend any time with her, since she and Phil had come to town for the wedding. It had all been e-mail and phone calls before that. But from my memory of the books, and based on my interactions with her so far, I would not really call Renée Dwyer a responsible adult, and Phil was friendly and level-headed but not really a parent to me. That suited me fine - I didn’t really feel like an actual teenager, even now, and I didn’t need active parenting - but it was apparently important to dad to keep up the convenient fiction.

What he wasn’t saying, of course, was that Jacksonville was only part of our trip. That just about everyone except Edward was leaving Forks for the summer, and that in fact he had no honeymoon fund to worry about, because Alice had arranged everything.

“Huh. Well, uh...have fun down in Florida. Is Jacksonville anywhere near the theme parks?” Miller asked, clearly ready to change the subject.

“It’s not - not any of the big ones, anyway - but Carlisle and Esme are going to join us down in Orlando for a few days before we head back,” I lied - another little fiction, this one mainly for my mom’s sake, but we were all keeping to a consistent narrative. “So we’ll be going to Disney World, anyway. The Cullens have never been, and they’ve been nice enough to invite me along.”

The deputy chief’s eyebrows shot up, and he glanced at Emmett, the lone Cullen in the room. “Seriously? What with this house and all, I sort of figured you’d be going every year.”

“Oh, we don’t travel much once we put down roots. It’s mainly just camping trips,” Emmett said. “Can’t wait to ride Space Mountain, though.”

“Gentlemen, I think we have a hand to finish?” Harry interjected at last, a little smirk on his face. “And then maybe we can find something to do that doesn’t give Emmett a chance to shake us down.”

“We have a pool table,” Emmett suggested innocently.

“We are not falling for that twice, kid,” dad said firmly. “Joe, I think it was your bet.”

“God help me,” Miller said, shaking his head as he pushed in his chips.

*****

After the game came to its merciful conclusion, we had just enough time for a movie before it was time to head for the venue. Neither dad nor Kate had been especially invested in the idea of a church wedding, so they’d picked out a lodge in the nearby woods, and asked Carlisle to officiate. I’d only seen the venue in photos. Seeing it in person, nestled among the towering pines, decorated in fairy lights and banners of blue and silver and lavender, the whole scene accompanied by the sounds of the wind in the trees and the river flowing nearby...I was simply awestruck by everything that lay before me.

“Well then. Guess this is our cue to go around back and get in position,” Harry said, clapping my dad on the shoulder. “You ready for this, Charlie?”

I looked over at dad. He, too, seemed briefly stunned and frozen. But when Harry spoke, he started to break into a grin. “Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “Yeah, I think I am.”

“You’ve got this, dad.” I turned to him and gave him a loose hug. “I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Bells,” he said, hugging me back and kissing the top of my head. “Go on, then, I know you’re eager to see Alice.”

“God, you make it sound like we’re codependent,” I complained, lightly, pulling back. Not that he was entirely wrong: I could definitely feel a tingle of excitement running through me as I headed inside with Emmett and the deputy chief.

The rest of the wedding party was gathered in the lodge’s tiny lobby, preparing for their grand entrance to the great room. We didn’t have a ring bearer or a flower girl - Harry had the rings - but everyone else was prepared to play their role. I wasted no time making my way to Alice’s side, slipping my arm around her waist, while Emmett followed me at a more sedate pace, chuckling softly as he joined Rosalie.

“We were never that bad,” he remarked to Rose, looking at the two of us.

“Oh, you were worse,” she returned, smirking up at him. He made a scandalized noise in response.

“Is that how we’re going to play it, Rose? ‘Cause I seem to recall a particularly insatiable little -”

“How did the wedding prep go?” I asked Alice, tuning the two of them out as I turned to kiss her cheek. “You look gorgeous.”

“Mmm, I’d hope so, after all that. It was nice to be pampered. The makeup artist was a bit of a perfectionist, but Kate got the worst of it,” she replied, looking up at me through her lush, dark eyelashes, a smile curving her red lips. Her hair framed her face in messy waves, and of course she looked amazing in her bridesmaid’s dress - lavender, strapless, accented in silver, tailored to fit the individual figures of each woman in Kate’s wedding party. “It’s possible the poor woman suffered a static shock or two.”

“I told Kate to use her powers for good,” I joked, my eyes sweeping over the room. Eleanor and Deputy Chief Miller, who’d be escorting her up the aisle, had joined Emmett and Rose, and the deputy chief seemed a little lost and perhaps slightly scandalized by the increasingly shameless flirting among the trio. And Kate, as might be expected, was sandwiched between her maid of honor, Irina, and Tanya, who’d be giving Kate away in the place of their mother.

Kate, naturally, looked absolutely incredible. Her normally straight blonde hair had been curled and bound up in an elaborate updo, and dangling silver and sapphire earrings glittered at her earlobes. A brass pendant, formed in a sort of hammer shape and decorated with elaborate, curling lines, hung from a chain about her neck. Her wedding dress was also strapless, all white and silver, the bodice clinging tightly to her figure as it swept down to the full skirts that frothed about her legs, interrupted only by a lavender sash tied about her waist. She looked radiantly happy, her joy outshining her natural hybrid glow.

Alice and I made our way over to her, and I offered a slightly hesitant one-armed hug. “You look amazing, Kate. I just wanted to wish you and dad all the best, one more time, before we get started.”

“Thank you, Bella,” she replied, returning the hug, awkwardly at first, but we both relaxed into a genuine embrace after a moment. “I’m...well I’m glad you’ve accepted all this so easily. And that your mother has been so welcoming. I wasn’t sure…”

“Please, don’t worry about it,” I told her softly, though I could feel that slight, uneasy shift in the pit of my stomach, even now. I tried to quiet it: I’d seen how happy dad and Kate were, how good they were for each other. They were the same people they’d always been, or at least dad was, but happier. Still...the mating bond hadn’t given either of them much choice. I worried about that, as I still, sometimes, worried about Alice. As fast as I’d fallen for her, I’d still been able to do so on my own terms. That was something Alice never got to do, and a chance dad and Kate would never have.

I forced a smile nonetheless as I continued, practiced enough now to make it genuine - which it was, really, mostly, despite my doubts. “Both of us just want dad to be happy. And you make him so happy - I’ve seen it, and now mom’s seen it, and she’s already remarried. She loves my dad but...they didn’t work. You two do. You just...fit.”

Maybe Kate caught something in my body language or my tone, despite all my best efforts, because she looked at me with faintly troubled eyes. But just as she was opening her mouth to say something more, we all heard the music starting in the other room, and Irina clapped her hands.

“Positions, everyone! Bridesmaids and groomsmen, go,” she announced, loud and clear. There was no more time to chat.

Alice and I were last in the procession of groomsmen and bridesmaids, and she nudged me gently as we swept into the room, murmuring softly. “You all right? You just seem…”

“I’m fine,” I whispered, through my smile, as we walked down the aisle under Carlisle’s benevolent gaze, surrounded by our family, friends and loved ones, going to meet dad and Harry at the altar. “Just getting in my own head a little.”

“Mmmm. Stop it,” she said, squeezing my arm as our moment came to part. “We’ll talk later.”

I nodded, very slightly, and we took our positions on either side of the aisle, watching Irina walk up last of all. The music changed, shifting to a classic bridal march, and everyone’s eyes were on Kate as Tanya walked her slowly and gracefully up the aisle. She was smiling brightly enough to transform her face into something even more beautiful, and broadly enough that it seemed like her face might crack in two, and I knew without looking that dad’s gaze was locked on her, his smile just as bright. Love and passion just radiated off the two of them, a palpable force filling the room from wall to wall. The room fell to a reverent hush, and for a moment I would have sworn I could hear their two hearts beating as one.

At last, the moment was broken by Carlisle’s voice, deceptively soft and yet resonant enough to fill the room. “Cherished friends, we come together today to witness the joining of Charles Geoffrey Swan and Katrina Sashova in holy matrimony, to ask for God’s blessing upon their union, to share in their joy, and to celebrate their love. For of all the gifts bestowed upon us by our Creator, love is the most precious, the most fragile, and the most important. As it is written in First Corinthians, love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

“We are taught that marriage is a gift of love, for God is love. It is a gift of God in creation and a means of God’s grace, for through this holy mystery, two become as one. Marriage is given that each partner might help the other, living faithfully in need and in plenty, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy. It is given that with delight and with tenderness those so joined might know each other in love, and that through the joy of spiritual and of bodily union, they may strengthen the connection between their hearts and minds. Marriage is a grace visited not only upon those joined in matrimony but upon all their loved ones - not only upon any children that may arise from the union but also upon their beloved community.

“In marriage, those so joined belong to one another, and embark upon a new life within their community. It is not a gift to be taken lightly, carelessly, or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly, and after serious thought. This is the way of life that Charles and Katrina are now to begin. I have been privileged to know them, and privileged to witness their love for one another. I believe with all my heart that these two are meant to be one. And now I must ask: if anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Silence followed. I wasn’t expecting anything else, but even so, it felt like the world had let out a breath it didn’t know it had been holding. Dad and Kate beamed at one another once again.

“Very well,” Carlisle said, breaking into a warm smile of his own. “Charles and Katrina, I now invite you to join hands and to deliver your vows in the presence of God and of all assembled here. May you speak honestly and without reservation, from the bottom of your hearts.”

Dad and Kate stepped forward, closer to one another, joining hands, and for a moment dad seemed at a loss for words, until his perfect hybrid memory kicked in and he found his place once more. He cleared his throat and chuckled nervously under his breath. “I, Charles Swan, take you, Katrina Sashova, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I swear to love, cherish, and honor you each day, from now until my last day on this Earth, in God’s name and by God’s grace.”

“I, Katrina Sashova, take you, Charles Swan, to be my lawfully wedded husband,” Kate returned, her eyes shining just slightly, her face aglow with more than the usual hybrid radiance. “To have and to hold from this day forward: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I swear to love, cherish, and honor you each day, from now until my last day on this Earth, in God’s name and by God’s grace.”

“I believe the best man has the rings?” Carlisle said, taking them gently as Harry offered them, and cradling one in each hand. “God, by your blessing, let these rings to be to Charles and Katrina be a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and the covenant which they have made this day in your holy presence. Amen.”

With that, he handed the rings off, and I could see dad’s fingers tremble just a little, almost imperceptibly, as he slipped Kate’s ring on her finger. “With this ring, I pledge myself to you, giving you all that I am, and sharing with you all that I have.”

Kate echoed his words softly, slipping his ring onto his finger in turn, and Carlisle joined their hands together, covering them loosely with his own.

“What God has seen fit to join, let no man put asunder,” he pronounced solemnly. “And by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Charlie, you may kiss your bride.”

They were moving before he was done talking, and somehow mustered enough restraint to move slow enough for the human eye to follow, though I heard more than a little laughter at their eagerness nonetheless. Charlie swept Kate readily into his arms, tilting her back just a little as they kissed fiercely, her bouquet dropping to the ground as her hands reached up to cup his cheek.

The room broke into wild applause, with a few hoots and whistles mixed in, and my eyes caught Alice’s as we clapped. For one wild, breathless moment, I wanted to throw caution to the wind, speed to her side and take her in my arms as well, hell, maybe even tell Carlisle to marry us here and there. But just a split second later, I felt a sort of coolness rushing through me, like a cold shower inside my mind, and my gaze swept into the audience, where Jasper raised one eyebrow at me expressively and inclined his head. I gave him a sheepish grin, then looked back at Alice, who winked and blew me a kiss before turning her attention back to the matter at hand. A triumphant march played as the wedding party swept back outside for photos and drinks and all the rest while the lodge staff moved everything around again for the reception.

*****

“I’ll be honest, that was way more God than I was expecting,” Callie remarked to me, once I’d been excused from modeling duty and we had a moment alone.

I shrugged. “Dad and Kate believe in a vague something. It was enough to have a vaguely religious ceremony. Besides, Carlisle’s dad was an Anglican pastor.”

Callie downed some of her sparkling cider, her eyes narrowing at me. “Is that a ‘lingering obsession with Twilight factoid’ or an ‘I spend all my time around the Cullens’ factoid?”

“Column A, column B,” I said, with another slight shrug. “I already knew about it, but I mean, we do talk. Anyway, Carlisle’s not nearly as hardcore as his father was, but he’s religious enough and in the know, so…”

“Vaguely religious ceremony. Right. Gotta say it was probably also the shortest wedding I’ve ever been to,” Callie replied, before looking sadly at her half-full glass. “And it’s the most sober wedding I’ve been to in a while. For us, anyway.”

“Yeah, being legally underage definitely has its downside. And please, you saw that kiss - I don’t think we could’ve gotten those two to wait much longer.”

Callie snorted. “True. Hell, you and Alice probably won’t even make it past ‘dearly beloved’.”

Mom chose that moment to come up just behind Callie, her eyebrows rising at the remark, and I immediately started laughing just a little too loudly. “Ha ha! Like we’re about to get married - which we’re not - because I’m seventeen! I am still just...seventeen. And in high school. And not even thinking about getting married. Yep. Good one, Cal, mom, you remember Callie.”

Callie stared at me and shook her head slightly before turning to face my mother. “Nice to see you again, Mrs. Dwyer. Did you enjoy the ceremony?”

“I did, thank you,” mom said, granting me a brief respite as she smiled warmly at Cal. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything over here.”

I shot Callie a pleading glance, and she looked in my direction just long enough to smirk at me before shaking her head. “No, not at all. I should probably go meet up with my parents. You two should catch up. See you later.”

“Of course. We’ll see you around,” mom agreed, and Callie gave a slight wave and moved off. I glared daggers at her retreating back, just for a moment, while mom watched her leave and shook her head. “I still have no idea how you get a nickname like ‘Callie’ out of a name like ‘Tara Chen’.”

“It just suits her,” I mumbled, sighing. “Long story.”

“If you say so. Now, let me look at you.” Mom turned back to me, putting her hands on my shoulders, taking me in. “I still can’t believe how big you’ve gotten, Bella. Or how...oh, what’s the word....dashing, maybe? How dashing you look in that suit.”

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight fanfic #twilight au #the tempest trilogy #the tempestverse #bellice #brave new world

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kaleidographia · 6 years

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[Review] Tales of Vesperia: The Brightest Star in the Night Sky Doesn't Shine as Strongly as I'd Hoped

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Warning: Contains allusive/thematic spoilers.

The day is finally here! Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition, containing content previously unseen outside of Japan, has finally been released, so that us English speakers and/or non-PS3 owners can experience the new storylines, characters and features for the first time! Alas, this isn’t a post about that, firstly because this post is going up day-of-release and I haven’t had a chance to play it yet, and secondly because I am writing this from outside of the country and won’t be united with my pre-ordered copy until I return next week, RIP.

Therefore, this post is written from the point of view of someone who has only played the Xbox 360 version. I will try to keep it brief for the sake of not spoiling newcomers to the game, and also hopefully not to complain about things that are fixed (or broken??) in the Definitive Edition.

Tales of Vesperia is a game in the long-running “Tales of” franchise from Bandai Namco, the first one in HD, originally released for the Xbox 360 in 2008, later receiving an updated PS3 version in 2009, exclusive to Japan. Like many older fans, my introduction to the Tales of series was with Tales of Symphonia for the Gamecube, and I fell in love hard; I was therefore extremely excited to play the next games, but unfortunately, I never owned the platforms for them until very recently. Along with Tales of the Abyss, Vesperia and Symphonia form the “holy trinity” of games in the series almost everyone loves; find a Tales fan and ask them their favourite game, and the answer will likely be one of those three (note: I’ve heard very good things about Graces and the two Xillia games, but unfortunately haven’t had a chance to judge them firsthand myself). The three games, while not directly related in terms of plot or setting, share a lot of things in common, as they had mostly the same creative team, often referred to as “Team Symphonia” (as opposed to “Team Destiny” which made most other games since then). One notable difference is the scenario writer, Takashi Hasegawa, while Symphonia and Abyss were written by Takumi Miyajima.

The Tales series is known for its reliance on anime and JRPG tropes, often used in a way that plays off cliché expectations only to then layer plot twists and character development and produce a much deeper experience than what would be expected from the get-go. When used effectively, these methods produce a story that is both fun and emotionally challenging. Tales of Vesperia is no different, offering a cast of archetypes that should be highly recognizable to those familiar with the genre, and yet this may be best set of characters in a Tales game. The party has impressively good banter, chemistry and dynamics and several scenes had me laughing out loud or yelling, and I never had a bad time watching their relationships unfold.

Unfortunately, the game spares little time fleshing out backstories or learning more about each individual character outside of the main plot. By the end, I was left wanting, as the cast was so endearing and vibrant, yet I knew next to nothing about them aside from what had been relevant to show onscreen. I longed for more information about where they had come from and how they had gotten where they were, but it is a testament to the strength of the character writing that their storylines reached a satisfying conclusion despite this relative sparse amount of information about them. “Backstory is not story”, Craig McCracken and Frank Angones were fond of saying to fans of Wander Over Yonder, but for a game with the size and scope of a 60-hour JRPG, not providing that window of information feels like a hole in the worldbuilding.

Mechanically, Vesperia builds on the model established by Symphonia and refined in Abyss, where combat takes place in a 3D arena and the player can run around, hit enemies and rack up combos fighting game style (the franchise calls this “Linear Motion Battle System”). While Symphonia was in 3D, it restricted the player to a single side-to-side corridor of action. Abyss added the ability to run around in 3D space by holding down a button, a feature Vesperia also has. This makes combat easier and more fun, as nothing is quite as satisfying as avoiding an attack and then running around and hitting the enemy from behind. And, as the game allows up to four players controlling different party members, and I have a player 2 (shoutout to my roommate Opal), Vesperia’s system is the most well-suited to multiplayer. If nothing else, I never felt lost while on the battlefield yelling for backup. The one major flaw is that boss fights come with massive difficulty spikes and I often had to grind and formulate careful battle plans with Opal just to not get continuously massacred by bosses.

Storywise, Vesperia starts off very strongly, sort of peters out near the middle, and then the third act falls apart. At first the theme is anti-authority, with a protagonist who grew up in the slums, neglected by nobles, who became a knight and then quit out of disillusionment when it turned out all they did was squabble about politics, and the inciting incident and early driver of the plot is his quest to “fix the plumbing” as a popular Tumblr text post put it. It’s clear Yuri has all the reason in the world to not trust authority and he even goes full vigilante against unjust abuse of power, but while this thread seems like the most important theme in the story, after a while so many other elements come into play it ends up lost and doesn’t really make much of an appearance except to highlight the differences between Yuri and Flynn’s approaches to life and how they prefer to help people. On its own it’s a compelling idea, but it never gets the follow-through it deserves, and my expectations were certainly subverted—but in a bad way.

It’s hard to talk about the third act without spoilers so I will probably come back to it for a proper analysis at a later date, but its ultimate message was already kind of limp in 2008 and is even more laughable now. For a game whose initial premise was so strongly against authority, the ultimate resolution of the main conflict reads as incredibly daft in light of just about everything that is happening in politics at the moment. There’s a very strong environmental allegory and the comparisons to climate change are not subtle, but the writers probably bit off more than they could chew because realistically trying to solve this problem in the time the story allotted would have been next to impossible; I still would have hoped the implications of the given solution had been actually explored instead of settling for an “oh well, guess everything’s been fixed now”.

I’m being harsh about the plot because to me Vesperia has a lot of wasted potential. Don’t get me wrong: I do love this game. It is in fact up there with the holy trinity as far as my opinions of the series go, but it lands in third place out of the three because it just fails to live up to what its first half promises about the world it created. To put it bluntly, if the story had just ended at the conclusion of the second act, it would have been much stronger. That the game continues for another 20 hours on a completely different track with an unsatisfying, unrealistic conclusion is a huge shame because it brings down what could have been a real masterpiece of tropey anime JRPG narratives. I live for that stuff, there’s a reason I want to play every Tales game, but that’s what makes this letdown the most disappointing. At least the characters themselves get good conclusions; it is unfortunate I can’t say the same for the main plot.

Despite all this I think Vesperia is a worthwhile experience, and one of my favourite things about is its aesthetic sense. Every location is immersive, polished, and the pinnacle of what I want to see in a videogame, to the point I dream of Symphonia and Abyss remakes made in the same style (and every other game in the series, to be honest, but that seems unlikely with the direction it’s taken since then). I genuinely cared about the party and I wanted to see them succeed and I was ultimately happy that they did even if I did roll my eyes a lot. The combat was so satisfying and so fun to play with a player 2 it makes me twice as mad that Zestiria’s camera goes completely wild during multiplayer and prevents me from joining in. I should note that for someone who plays as many games as I do I am notoriously terrible at them so I heavily favour story over mechanics, but Vesperia is a game that reminds me that engaging gameplay can make a huge difference. Yeah, I suck, but at least I’m having fun while sucking. That’s more than I can say for a lot of games.

If you like JRPGs, games that let you run around and hit things, or fun and intriguing character dynamics, you’ll probably like Tales of Vesperia. If you’re looking for a coherent story from start to finish, you’ll probably disappointed, but there’s just enough there to keep you engrossed until the end. Overall, Vesperia is solid, and the parts it fumbles aren’t bad enough to ruin the whole thing, but hopefully the extra content in Definitive Edition helps to smooth it out; I’ll have to find that out for myself.

Aside from how it messes up the voice acting this time around. Oh, Bamco.

#Review #Tales of #Tales of Vesperia #videogames

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agentdagonet · 6 years

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Echoes, Ch. 13

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

Harry Hart didn't know the date. He couldn't tell you who the current President was (not so much couldn't as wouldn't, but still, silence was its own answer) or his own name as far as the Hospital staff were concerned. He'd been confused and horrified by the tale they'd spun when he'd woken up, but had only asked for his belongings in a seemingly-desperate bid to recall who he was.

Agent Galahad was confused beyond measure and more than a little worried about his Agency in the wake of the things he'd woken up to. Not the least of which was an ungodly amount of gossip about who was and was-not being discovered without a head every few days. Missing persons from around the globe reappear overnight, refusing to give any details as to their freedom, but all anyone could talk about were the gruesome collections of headless world leaders and celebrities being discovered even a year later. The priorities of the general populace were, as ever, unsurprising. It had been surprisingly easy to convince certain members of staff that he could contact (or, try to, as it were) his family if given internet access. There'd been a delay, certainly, but one of the overnight nurses had left him a laptop with strict instructions not to ignore his body's needs in favour of traipsing the net. He wasn't Merlin (he ignored the pang in his chest that reminded him that there may no longer be a Merlin) but he had picked up enough throughout the years to use the unsecured laptop without giving himself away. He'd looked up the news reports for V-Day, as it had so lovingly been named by the masses, statistics showed that nearly 1% of the population had been affected by the incident. Only 10% of those affected had died, the rest were still in various states of injury and recovery; those who had been found headless were barely acknowledged outside of a small blog that kept a running list. There had been a day of mourning for them, notably interrupted by rioters demanding answers they would never receive, before the bodies were simply tagged and cremated, the ashes sent in plain boxes to their next of kin. Any new finds were reported before following the same process; by now it was simply routine. There was a reddit thread dedicated to discovering who, exactly, they should be thanking for ending the Valentine Massacre and releasing their missing persons. There were maybe 100 posts; one claimed to be the Princess of Sweden, who mentioned how finely dressed and fit their rescuer was. That didn't have to mean anything, on its own, but Harry's traitorous heart began to hope anyway. One poster identified themselves as M.Baker, and spoke about a young woman having called them and gave instructions to lock their daughter in a bathroom and throw way the key mere moments before the chaos began. They wrote that they most would definitely have killed their daughter without the warning, having come to their senses with a large knife in hand standing over the buggy they'd left their child strapped into. Baker... Baker... Dean Anthony Baker, Eggsy's unfortunate stepfather; married to Michelle with one daughter, Daisy.

M. Baker, warned by a young woman about the chaos to potentially save the life of their young daughter. It was a stretch, but at this point Harry was willing to follow any spider's silk that would tell him Kingsman was not only responsible for ending the threat, but had suffered minimal losses as well. The call could have come from their newly knighted Lancelot, who had formed something a bit tighter than alliance with Eggsy during their trials. Eggsy. Eggsy who he had left in his house, unattended but for a laptop hooked into his glasses feed. Eggsy who had gone to beat his father after the crushing failure of his final test. Eggsy who had been correct in his assessment of Harry having something of his father stuffed in the loo (figuratively, not that Eggsy knew that). Eggsy whose apology he had callously ignored before going off to Kentucky- Eggsy, who had to have seen Harry's time in Kenucky come to a gruesome end.

He could only hope Eggsy'd been spared from Valentine's scheme- but there were only a handful of ways to be sure. He logged in to his in-home feed remotely, bypassing the vocal and fingerprint features with a series of intricate passcodes, and let out a shaky breath at the sight of Eggsy in his home. Mildly bruised, looking incredibly lost with his head bowed to the floor of the downstairs loo, and apparently mid-conversation. 'Guilt ain't gonna bring those people back, bruv.' Harry'd only tapped into the audio/visual feed, and was unable to see whoever Eggsy was speaking to, when he realised that Eggsy was wearing a set of Kingsman glasses. There was no one else there, no phone on the counter top or the telltale blinking from the inner rim of the glasses when engaged with communication at HQ, so the only explanation was- The Will. The holograms, hooked into his house without so much as a by-your-leave from Merlin (not that that had ever stopped him). It'd been a year (how easy it was to forget that, in the unchanging sterile hospital) of course they'd turned on. And if Eggsy were living in his home, for whatever reason, it was only a matter of time before they'd been discovered. Apparently that time had come and gone, and Harry wasn't sure of when it happened, but his fingers were typing into the command box. He didn't remember what all he'd originally had this one say but skimmed through the text and added on autopilot, hoping to a vague entity that it came out fluidly to Eggsy. He had to know that he had done the best he could and would only improve if he kept moving forward. It was all that had held himself together, some days. Eggsy who was not Lancelot, though the hologram addressed him as such. Had Eggsy been Knighted? And, if so, how had he bypassed the Dog Test? What circumstances had led them to this moment, split apart by an ocean and near-assured death? Did all of Kingsman survive Valentine's scheme? If not, who had been lost? Harry only half-listened to himself monologuing, questions running through his head at an alarming rate, but found himself frozen as Eggsy spoke about his father. 'It was worth it.' Harry mouthed the words to himself, hardly able to believe them. Eggsy, the child whose father he'd taken (with the best of intentions) and whose life he'd most assuredly caused (however tangentially) to fall into the mess it had, thought it was worth it? Harry watched, mouth agape, as Eggsy pulled Lee's butterfly from the wall, and ran a finger across the writing Harry barely recalled, a soft smile accompanying tears he didn't bother wiping away. Had Harry been paying himself any mind, he'd have felt a set of matching tracks across his own face. As it was, he watched the feed for a moment more before turning his attention to the rest of the command boxes at his disposal. He could easily set off an alarm that would call whomever was at Merlin's desk to his home, but he didn't want to disrupt Eggsy's evening. He could send a message to Merlin directly, but that would be fruitless if Merlin were... gone. Same went for Arthur. It was fortunate that the hospital staff had kept his (albeit ruined) glasses, Harry thought to himself, as he activated the homing beacon and set them back onto his bedside table. He sent a message through the home system to both Arthur and Merlin's inboxes, he could only hope that whoever was in those positions now wouldn't write them off, before sending one to his own inbox in a vague hope of Eggsy having access. 'Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated, and I would greatly appreciate an escape route from this hospital. The tea is atrocious.'

#dagonet writes #kingsman #kingsman fanfiction #echoes #SEE I PROMISED #longer time between chapters than I would have liked #BUT STILL #I AM HERE

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dezembergirl · 7 years

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Mr. Darcy

Umm, I guess I’m sorry for not posting it what feels like half a year *hides behind the list of excuses I prepared*

But in all seriousness, I’m sorry. I’ve been super busy and uni just doesn’t go well with writing regularly. So I’m actually proud I finished this. Although its a little rushed I hope you enjoy it!

If you have any inspiration for the next part, leave me a comment. I can’t promise regular updates, but I I will try. <3

Part of a series (part one, part two, part three, part four and five) (as always inspired by @nonibanoni)

Fandom: Skam

Pairing: Noorhelm

originally published to ao3

Noora had already crossed half of the school yard before Nissen when a routine grip into her backpack made her freeze mid step. The usual mess of books, pencils and separate strips of gum that were her backpack was disrupted by a soft piece of knitted wool. Noora frowned and the creases on her forehead deepened when the memories of last night came back to her.

They had been watching a movie at his apartment with Noora curled against William’s side. He had made her another cup of cocoa and given her his biggest smile yet when Noora had taken a sip and concluded it was better than the store made one from earlier in the day. The chocolate trickling down her throat had warmed her but the cold from their stroll had still remained in her limbs.

«Never would have guessed you being so cold sensitive.» William had mumbled against her ear while tugging a plain grey blanket around her torso.

Noora had bitten her lip at that but hadn’t found a fitting response - silence was always preferable to a flimsy comeback. The blanket cocoon and Williams arm wrapped around her shoulder had brought her body back to a tolerable temperature. Well that and the not so infrequent kisses they had sneaked back and forth throughout the movie. A few times his lips had even trailed from hers to wander across her neck. Noora only prayed he hadn’t left any visible marks that might cause awkward questions which she couldn’t very well answer. With every peck her lips had softened to his and by the time the end credits rolled across William’s fittingly oversized tv screen, Noora had been completely drawn under his spell. So much so in fact that she hadn’t even tried to refuse him wrapping his scarf - the one she had already borrowed for there not-a-date date earlier -around her bare neck before driving her home.

Stealing one’s boyfriend’s clothing was an incredibly cliché thing to do and Noora had never really seen the appeal in it. Not that she had never considered the idea. She had seen Eva’s impressive collection of snatched sweaters first hand countless times. It somehow felt wrong to take something that didn’t belong to her. Noora knew she shouldn’t feel as guilty as she did. It wasn’t like she stole his scarf on purpose in the first place. It had been an honest mistake and he had not demanded it back either. Still she hated being in his debt, even for a silly thing like this.

Noora’s fingers curled around the softly knitted material - she would have to return it. The idea was so silly she almost had to laugh out loud. Noora Sætre, the girl that valued nothing more than her own independence, was threatened by a feeble scarf. It wasn’t the item itself that unnerved her, but the very likely possibility of William using it to force her into seeing him again. Yesterday been wonderful and she was well aware that she probably liked him more than she should and it was exactly because of that undeniable attraction that she had to lay low for a couple of days. The scarf needed to be returned, as soon as possible. She huffed and was about to take it out of her backpack for better inspection.

«Noora, so good to see you.» Vilde hurried up the steps to catch up with her. The scarf in one hand and her brows furrowed Noora turned around.

«I was so worried about you. Eva told me you took off early Friday. But you really can’t just leave like that, without telling anyone, Noora.» Shit, she had completely forgotten about the aftermath of the Penetrator party. Her mouth opened but Vilde’s forward statement had caught her off guard. She closed her mouth again and with a haste that didn’t fit her normal calm composure she forced the scarf back into the depths of her backpack. Vilde followed her hands and pushed her head to the side with a questioning look dancing across her face.

«Noora, what is going on?» Vilde squinted her eyes to try and see what Noora was doing a very bad job of hiding from her.

«Nothing» she swung the backpack over her shoulder and gave Vilde a reassuring smile. «I … I just forgot my Englisch paper at the apartment. Eskild loves going through my stuff, so yeah.» a nervous giggle escaped her lips and Vilde’s eyes grew even wider. The awkward pause that followed resulted in Noora biting her lip and forcing herself to look anywhere but her friends inquisitive eyes.

When Vilde finally spoke again, the discomfort of the situation became glaringly obvious. «Okay, you can borrow mine if you want.» Noora deflated in relief and was about to resume their walk across the yard when Vilde crossed her arms before her oversized down jacket. «What’s going on, Noora? You’re hiding something and I know it!» the possibility of new exciting gossip suddenly litt up her eyes. Noora huffed and was about to tell Vilde off, explaining how some people disliked the idea of having their private lives echoed across the school yard and in consequence the whole damn school.

But before she could even attempt to open her mouth in protest. Eva scooted around the corner and a little out of breath added to Noora’s demise. «Who’s hiding what?»

She looked excitedly between Noora and Vilde, who almost squealed in delight at having a witness to her commencing interrogation. «Noora isn’t telling us something. She’s been acting weird all week.» Noora rolled her eyes. «I have not.»

«You did and I’m not stupid you know.» Vilde swung into full gear. «First you disappear from the party on Friday without a word.»

«I was tired and went home.» Now it was Noora’s turn to cross her arms in annoyance.

«Then you don’t write back for like a whole day?» Vilde was ticking each incriminatory observation off on her fingers. «You disappear again after school yesterday and whatever you have in your backpack, I’m sure its something your new girlfriend gave you.» she finished with a satisfactory smirk.

Noora never blushed but she did now. The almost painful accuracy of what Vilde had just deducted fired her cheeks bright crimson. She pursed her lips and did her best to send Eva beside her - who apparently found no shame in straight out laughing at the whole situation - her most menacing glare.

«I do not have a girlfriend» at least that part wasn’t a lie «and I really don’t appreciate you following my every move.» Noora retorted but Vilde only seemed to take her defense as further confirmation of an underlying plot that she had yet to discover.

Noora had never been this thankful to hear the bell shrill inside Nissen’s walls. Without another word - but nevertheless two sharp looks directed at Vide and Eva - she pulled on Eva’s arm forcing her into the B building. «We’ve been late to Spanish twice already this semester and we don’t wanna risk detention, right?» she growled at her beanie clad friend.

«I surrender.» Eva held her hands up in mock defense «but you are in deep trouble. Vilde won’t let this one go so easily.»

Noora gritted her teeth. Eva was right, this one was far from over.

The morning lessons dragged on and recess carried over into their afternoon classes without any notable occurrences but Noora was almost glad for the slow day. She had no shared classed with Vilde but Eva’s knowing glances were agonizing enough. Plus the scarf was still in her backpack, which she made sure to keep an eye on at all times. The last thing Noora needed right now was someone tracing it back to William - she was almost certain she had witnessed him wear it at school at multiple instances.

She could try and find out about William’s class schedule but they had no mutual friends and the only conceivable person she could think of to ask, was not a possibility. Vilde, who had never seen the need in hiding her unending obsession with William, had no doubt memorized his entire timetable. Noora could try and look for him in the yard or the cafeteria but what where the chances of actually meeting him and she had no idea how she would justify her recurring disappearance to her friends.

Noora twisted her pen while Eva struggled with a Spanish crossword puzzle beside her. The whole situation was all due to her recklessness last night - something she swore to herself couldn’t happen again. It would be useless to look for William between her lessons. Even if she managed to find him she couldn’t very well approach him out of the blue. He was never alone and Noora was not about to embarrass herself in front of the Penetrators. The thought alone made her grit her teeth and slump against the back of her chair. Her pen tapped against the finished paper and she let her gaze wander around the pale class room walls. Most of her class mates were hunched over their desks and it was impossible to tell if they actually focused on the exercise or rather their phones - the latter was more likely.

She could text William of course. Not that she hadn’t thought of that before. Her inner need for control had lead to her scrolling through their exchanged messages since Friday during the last quarter of her Norwegian lesson. Whatever this was between them, it was progressing faster than she had anticipated and that fact alone made her nerves recoil in mute panic. Noora wasn’t shy to admit to her inner control freak. Eskild had remarked on that very fact countless times; how her closet was never messy, her part of the fridge always in perfect order or how she hadn’t skipped a single day of classes since coming back to Oslo. But now that her naturally anxious mind mixed with a secret romance she had to hide from - well - everyone, something was bound to go wrong. Noora couldn’t text him. He had always been the one to initiate their conversations and her writing him in the middle of class would only encourage him even more in his pursuits. It was the last thing she needed.

When her attention driftet back to the finished crossword in front of her, Noora noticed that Eva had managed to find the better part of the words and was now watching her expectantly.

«What?» Noora stopped tapping her pen.

«Nothing» Eva pursed her lips to hide a smirk «It’s just, I think Vilde hit the nail square on the head. You’re hiding something, or better someone.»

«Well, I am not and I really don’t care anymore if you believe me or not.» she retraced the already written letters on her paper.

«Noora Amalie Sætre» - wasn’t it enough that William apparently loved saying her full name every chance he got; now Eva had to adopted the habit as well? - «for all the intelligent things you say, you’re a fucking terrible liar.» Noora only rolled her eyes in response. Eva looked almost as pleased with herself as Vilde had earlier.

«What’s really in your backpack?» Eva pocked at her sweater. «He isn’t writing you secret love letters, is he?» her eyes grew big.

«Oh my god, why the hell would you even think that?» Noora forced out, careful not to raise her voice too much.

«I don’t know if you’ve encountered a mirror today, but…» Eva gave her a shameless grin.

«What?» Noora almost squeaked, already dreading the answer.

«Well, I mean the turtle neck helps but you kind of have a …» Eva coughed to suppress a laugh and motioned at her own neck «… a spot on your … your neck.» Noora almost gasp out loud.

«What?» she tried to surprise the rising panic while she scrambled for her phone and opened the front camera. Her fingers scoured the pale skin on her neck and sure enough there was a light purple mark visible just above her collar bone «Oh god.»

«Don’t worry, it’s not very noticeable. Just keep your sweater up and you’ll be fine.» Eva couldn’t resist a smile «It’s actually kind of cute.»

«I really can’t get any worse.» Noora buried her head in her hands and evaded Eva’s sharp eyes.

«So, are you gonna tell me what was so embarrassing you’ve practically been sitting on you backpack all day?»

«No, not really.»

«Oh, come on» ,Eva scoffed. «You’re no fun today.»

«Please, just let it go.» she almost begged, being painful aware of hoe red her face must have gotten in the past ten minutes.

«Okay … but you’ll have to tell me at some point.» Eva waved her pencil at her in a scolding motion. «If it’s really a love letter, I need to know. William might be a secret Mr. Darcy.» Eva widened her eyes at her own imagination.

«Oh my god, no. It’s not a freaking love letter.»

She really needed to get rid of the damn scarf, and soon.

When they finished Spanish and before Eva could drag her off to meet up with the others, Noora excused herself to the bathroom - ignoring Eva’s knowing looks. She rested her backpack next to the sinks and pulled out her phone.

Noora: Can I meet you after school? I’m off at 16:10

She sent the message and gnawed at her lip as she waiting for a reply. Not a full minute later the three dots appeared and her nails started to tap again her phone in a matching rhythm.

William: Sure, already miss me that much?

Noora: Not really, but I need to return something

William: Ok

Then nothing, and Noora started to wonder if texting him had been the best idea. She couldn’t estimate his response to her wanting to return the scarf. Would he find it silly or even be hurt by it? Her nerves went into overdrive once again.

William: 14:20 at my car

Noora exhaled. Now it would only be a matter of shaking off Eva with whom she had the last class together.

Apparently she had endured enough embarrassment for today, because when the last bell rang Eva announced that she had dance practice and took off without another cheeky comment about Noora’s situation. Maybe she had just wanted to spare Noora any further embarrassments. Either way, she was glad not to have to find an excuse to sneak off to William’s car.

William was already leaning against said car and the light coming from the street lamps hit him just right in that moment. Noora bit her lip, compelling herself to keep the fluttering tingles in her stomach at bay. The past days had awoken a part of her that had a taken a liking to defying all reason. Realizing how weird she must look, standing there eying William from afar, she paced towards the car.

His head was shielded from her view by the usual gray hoody and his eyes were distracted by his phone - most likely texting Chris. The neatly tucked away pieces of dark hair sneak out from the hoodie. Noora pursed her lips but the smile still spread across her face.

«Hey» she leaned against the car just inches away from him, breathing the words as close to his ear as possible. And just like she had when he had whispered into her ear in the school corridor his body jumped and Williams eyes widened in a moment of shock.

Satisfied with his reaction, Noora tilted her head and smirked at him.

«Missing something?» she dragged the zipper on her backpack open.

«Besides you, you mean.» William pushes his hair back into the hoodie.

Noora had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes for what felt the hundredth time this day. «I’m being serious.»

«Me too.» William curls his lips upwards and pushed off the side of the car. They are barely a twenty meters away from the B building but to her own surprise Noora didn’t retreat back when he reached for her hand. He is careful when he touched her and his hand gently pulled hers closer until she found herself enveloped in his arms. «I mean it, Noora. Knowing you’re just a few classrooms away and being unable to see you is torturous.»

Noora smiled and relaxed into the hug. Her inner rational self scolded her for enjoying this, but hearing him say it out loud - how he missed her even though it hasn’t even been 24 hours - felt good. «You’re exaggerating.» she whispered and lets out a squeal when he suddenly retreated and let her fall back against the car.

«Don’t mock my honest feelings, Sætre.» William playfully shook his finger at her.

«Well, you do deserve it.» she crossed her arms and leaned against the hood of his car.

«What for?» he flipped his hair back for the millionth time.

«For leaving me to explain this to Eva!» Noora forgot all about the backpack lying on the ground and reached up to her neck, pulling the cream coloured fabric of her turtle neck sweater down to the line of er collarbones.

Williams eyes widened in surprise for a moment but he quickly recovered and Noora gasped in outrage when he proceeded to lick his lips. His eyes narrowed and he didn’t look the least bit ashamed when they roamed across the bare skin of her neck, examining the purple mark.

«Stop looking so god damn smug.» she gave his chest a playful push and his eyes flickered back up to meet hers.

«Sorry, I apologize.» he smirked at her.

«You don’t really mean that.» Noora tightened her grip on his chest, effectively latching onto his hoodie.

«No.» his smile grew when she hit him with another light punch. «I mean, I am sorry for the situation it got you in, but I certainly won’t apologize for kissing you.»

She opened her mouth to retort something clever and for the second time in two hours her mind was empty for a fitting response.

«You don’t regret it either, do you?» he moved closer to her ear, pushing her tighter against his car in the progress.

No, she didn’t but in that moment Noora would have given anything not to having to admit that out loud. The memory of last night, the movie - its plot she could hardly remember - and William kissing her with increased frequency made her cheeks flame with heat. She sensed her resolve weakening when his hand found her neck and sneaked higher into her hair. His second hand slipped under her coat to rest against her waist and she felt heat pool in her body.

«William» she murmured.

«Mhm» his breath was hot in contrast to the chilly spring temperatures and the contact drew goose bumps across her skin. Her protest evaporated into nothing more than a content sigh when his lips finally found her bottom one. Her nerve endings buzzed with excitement and his torturously slow movements left her aching for more. This was so much better than the crappy love letters Eva had been fantasizing about. But before either of them had a chance to deepen the kiss the car parked two spots to their left kicked into action and Noora jumped backwards at the sound of the roaring motor.

Her already racing heart threatened to explode in her chest and William - who looked surprised but nowhere near as shocked as she felt - burst into laughter.

«Not funny.» Noora sent him a threatening look but he only liked over his lips and shrugged his shoulders. «You should have seen your face, priceless.»

«Unbelievable» she huffed and picked her discarded backpack up from the floor. She tugged the scarf free from her books and all but smashed the thing into his face. That only made him laugh louder.

«Sorry. Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.» he scrambled to catch the scarf and without another look disregarded it to the hood of his car. Noora followed his hands and wasn’t sure if she should be astonished or frustrated with him. Either way she envied the carefree attitude he handled all of this - whatever this was between them - with.

«A cup of cocoa to make it up to you?» he pulled her closer again. But this time Noora was quicker and dipped under his arm and away from his car.

«Not today. I do have other things to do in my life than sipping cocoa and watching movies at your apartment you know.» with that she gave him one last peck and hurried out of the parking lot.

Noora certainly did look forward to the next time she could spent all day with him and his hot cocoa. She would have her revenge for the hicky.

#noorhelm #william x noora #noora x william #skam fic #skam #noora sætre #william magnusson #I really hope you like this

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sudanesestoic · 7 years

Text

A Fleeting Fortnight

Oftentimes we visit places, meet with people and, by mere happenstance, encounter events which occupy a short space of time, yet they eerily inhabit exceptional spots in the far reaches of our memories. Rarely invading our awareness, whenever these ephemeral past moments come to the fore, whether involuntarily or by whatever triggers their recall, we can be forgiven for mistaking them for figments of our own imagination before the switch is flicked in a fraction of a second to realize that they actually took place in that illusory part of our consciousness we refer to as the past. Intriguingly, they trigger an even more acute nostalgia than our long term life-defining experiences. A mere glance at a photo steals us away from the present to relive a moment that lies buried in the distant past with an imperceptible sense of longing. And even though traversing the path that lead us back to this moment then becomes truly appealing, an implacable sense of wistfulness strikes us to counterpoint the genuine desire to succumb to it. Upon discerning that those moments and the way they made us feel then are long gone, an overwhelming gloominess haunts us; specially if the people involved are no longer around or the venues, for whatever reason, won't be seen or visited again. And so as a hedge against this wistfulness I have subconsciously developed a penchant for keeping my past locked away and just staying in good terms with the spontaneity of life right where my 'present' cursor is pointing at. At this very moment, however, an air of valiance surrounds me as I am about to take the audacious step of reliving a bittersweet experience and willingly bear its inherent melancholy: a two-week trip to Thailand to meet with my Thai ex-girlfriend which, according to what the inexorable rigidity of the mirrors of my past reflect, happened for real. Obviously, it will be a burdensome task to conjure up, at length, years of a long distance relationship. Hence I feel it will suffice to provide an abridged account, if you will, of this tempestuous relationship by revisiting its landmarks and turning points and then segue to the lowdown of the only trip I took to see her in the flesh.

💠💠💠

As it is superfluous to point out our inability to foresee the coming to existence of the myriad experiences that would later coalesce to shape our lives, little did I know that this arbitrary encounter would pivot me towards something deeply profound.

It was a quiet evening in the winter of 2012 at my friend's apartment in Chennai, India, where I had spent five years as a student and earned my bachelor degree in Electrical & Electronics Engineering. Out of sheer boredom I whipped out my cellphone and started browsing through my facebook feed. Contrarily, I never was a facebook admirer; as a matter of fact, I despised it to the point that I eventually deleted my account. But it was a time when social media started to get rampant, perfectly coinciding with the outset of the smart phone era and thus being excited about my first ever smart phone, I didn't mind using it for whatever purpose merely for the sake of holding it in my hand. Ironically, it – facebook – proved instrumental in bringing about one of the most notable highlights of my life.... I digress! While scrolling down I paused at a post from a page — I vividly recall its name to be 'positive thinking' — that I was following at the time. I posted a comment and went through the already posted comments before hers in particular caught my attention. I instantly gave it a 'like' and sent her a friend request as I had a feeling she could make a perfect acquaintance. Shortly afterwards she accepted my request and started texting me on my facebook messenger. She seemed rude right off the bat – or feigned rudeness as I could tell – to which I was nonchalant; It actually struck me as funny more than anything. I shrugged off her discourteous remarks and kept responding in a rather cool and indifferent manner. My patience was rewarded though as the convo picked up and before I knew it her manner shifted to one of personable and we started to get along pretty well. I had learned that she was originally from Thailand but resided and worked in Australia (she still does). We came to know briefly about each other and went on to share our thoughts and views in some random topics. We connected sporadically since then but the eagerness to check in and catch up was evident regardless of who reached out first. Five months had elapsed since then. Feeling too gung ho about finally reuniting with my beloved ones after a period of separation that stretched to five odd years, I made my anticipated return to my home country, Sudan, on May 2013 only days after I had obtained and attested my certificates. As it is superfluous to point out our inability to foresee the coming to existence of the myriad experiences that would later coalesce to shape our lives, little did I know that this arbitrary encounter would pivot me towards something deeply profound.

A few weeks after my homecoming we exchanged our contact numbers and other social media accounts and the intimacy between us started to deepen at a rapid pace. There was a burgeoning enthusiasm to chat for longer hours, letting each topic resolve of its own volition before switching to the next one without a trace of boredom. There was a sense that what was going on between us was starting to morph into something which is more than just a mere acquaintance; a subtle uncontrollable attraction. We both seemingly had a visceral conviction that something profound was unfolding judging by the progression of things. A sufficient period of getting to know each other and allowing our feelings to fully mature ran its course before we built up enough courage to open up to each other about our feelings which were equally, and not surprisingly at this point, reciprocated.

And so throwing caution to the winds we took things to the next level. A full-blown long distance relationship finally materialized precisely a year after we first met online. Falling head over heels for each other, despite the seven-hour time difference we would text or video call for hours on end completely oblivious to our surroundings until she would realize it was an hour or two past midnight on her end and that it was time she went to bed (not before saying to each other 'I love you' a multiple times). Likewise, I would stay up past midnight so we could catch up and confab for sometime before I went to bed. The quintessential honeymoon phase that most relationships go through in their nascent stages — an overwhelming excitement amplified by the state of being half-way around the world apart and yet yearning to be within an arm's reach.

• • •

Twists And Turns

Like being awakened all of a sudden in the midst of a beautiful dream by whatever damnable reason, the honeymoon did not last long before a downside to this relationship began to manifest. I was utterly discombobulated as I noticed her demeanor change as suddenly and as unexpectedly. She became temperamental and volatile in a way I would have never imagined she would as if this side to her was obscured by her alluring facade all along, laying in wait for the right time to be unleashed. I was increasingly driven up the wall with her inexplicable immaturity and my attempts to placate her were virtually futile leaving me sometimes with no other option but to ignore her. It was only when I reached the end of my rope, which was more often the case, did she switch back to her charming mode. What truly perplexed me was that after all the frustration she put me through she could always ever so cunningly make me feel good — as though she knew she was my weakness — and my goodness was she industrious when it came to that. I could have sworn she drew pleasure from roiling things deliberately just to keep me perturbed and exasperated. At times I felt the urge to give her a piece of my mind but instead ended up biting back my words as a tradeoff for the contentment I felt from the consolatory recognition that things were back to normal. In retrospect, by doing so I had unwittingly pedestalized her and gave her permission to step all over me. I never looked at it this way until I was later bit by the sobering reality that she was not anything like the picture I painted for her. Anyway, I grew impatient with her incessant emotionally draining gear-switching and reached a point where I was stuck in limbo unable to decide whether I should exert more effort to fix our issues or just take a break from the relationship with a scant hope of rebuilding attraction. Far be it from me to blame her, but her relentless uncalled-for discourtesy made it difficult to resolve what I can only regard, at worst, as misunderstandings – which usually didn't even amount to much to antagonize her. That being said, through the unceasing clashes and reconciliations my love for her was maintained in the backdrop and the hope that things would settle in due time never dissipated.

In the midst of this turmoil — and I wouldn't have asked for a more suitable timing — an unbidden grace happened out of the blue when I finally secured my long-awaited position in my own field of study in a Dubai-based contracting and maintenance company on October 2015 after having spent two arid years in Sudan as a freelance teacher in Maths and English. To my delight, not only was this development a palpable enhancement for me career wise but it also enlivened the relationship and got her ever so thrilled after an eternity of fogginess had taken its toll. The erratic and inconveniencing hot-and-cold patterns suddenly turned into an overdose of charm and sweetness (conspicuously as a reward for this achievement). The honeymoon was resuscitated, only this time it was more intense and lasted a little longer. With this significant step in my life, it is reasonable to think that the relationship must be on the right trajectory now that I was on the way to becoming financially more stable, which should rationalize more maturity from her end so we can seriously start planning our future together. The only thing is, I always seemed to be blinded to the fact that as far as she is concerned no matter how amazing things might appear to be, the shit might just hit the fan at any moment.

Alas, that is exactly what happened!

Only two months into my new job in Dubai another dramatic episode struck and rattled my world. Even though I was in a state of utter shock my thought process was "Well, it is par for the course", while adopting a sanguine mood as a coping mechanism to tackle my disillusionment. Unlike the customary narrative of our previous arguments, I allowed myself this time around to put my foot down and show some fierceness, thinking that a deep conversation where everything is laid out on the table to be dealt with once and for all might just go a long way. Strangely enough I was not surprised by her lukewarm cooperation to reach a compromise. After a sour dispute caused by yet another trivial reason I tried to play things down but she was too stubborn to let go and in just a couple of days I was in for a big surprise. She caught me off-guard when I found out, while I was on duty, that she actually blocked me. To say I could feel the blood in my veins wouldn’t begin to describe the state of lividness that overwhelmed me at the time. "This is just about the last straw", I thought to myself. For the first time ever I had truly contemplated a breakup, having endured a lot already, with no intention whatsoever of reaching out to her as a last-ditch attempt to save the relationship. Besides, I knew full well if I called her she would not pick up. In fact, if anything, she owed me closure since she was the one who pulled away, but that too seemed far-fetched given her disposition.

Paradoxically, despite my resolute stance of not pursuing her, a part of me hoped that she would reach out sooner. Facing up to the fact that it might well be the end of the road for us admittedly left me beyond shaken up and despondent, specially after how we had so naively romanticized our future. Almost two weeks of unyielding silence mixed with an agonizing wait for her call or text message, I conceded that it was a reality check. I somehow convinced myself it was about time anyways and parting ways was perhaps the most optimum resort now that the relationship had seemingly reached a stalemate. Keeping a stiff upper lip, I removed her contact number, our chat threads, photos, voice recordings, videos and pretty much everything that reminded me of her from my phone. I consider myself blessed to have the mental strength that enabled me to assert myself with the belief that she was not the be-all and end-all and thus making it easier to leave the disenchantment behind me and move on.

• • •

An Unforeseen Return

Just as I resigned myself to the fact that I might never hear from her again in this lifetime, she appears as abruptly as she cut me off!

Separated by the width of an entire continent, it will be fitting to assume that my feelings for her will slowly but surely fizzle out and in time I will be well over her. Completely subsumed in the fast metropolitan life — the challenges at work, the commutes, the quotidian indoor and outdoor activities and the occasional convivial social activities — seven months were sufficient to erase any lingering thoughts and memories of her. I seemed to be doing pretty well getting myself accustomed to being single and enjoying life with a sense of freedom whìch was marred by the disquietude that I had endured for most of the time we were together. Things stayed that way until one evening when the unpredictable happened. As I was on the metro on the way back home from work, all exhausted, leaning against a pole and looking out the window with my headphones on, my phone rang. I looked down at the phone screen and raised an eyebrow when I observed that it was an unknown number starting with +61. I was completely flummoxed knowing that the call was definitely from Australia. "Is it her?" I asked under my breath, "who else could it be? I do not know a single soul in Australia other than her". I froze for a few seconds before I hesitantly took the call. My heart skipped a beat when she cleared her throat and said 'hello' in a low voice. Just as I resigned myself to the fact that I might never hear from her again in this lifetime, she appears as abruptly as she cut me off! The timidness in her voice was evident and she spoke with intermittent pauses between her words. Although deep down there was an obscure satisfaction, I tried hard to sound cold and unfazed. I blamed her for the way she ghosted me to which she offered an unconvincing justification. But that did not matter much to me as I could tell from her tone she was desperate to patch things up and be back in my good graces. She made it clear that she still loved me and thought about me throughout the whole time we were separated and that she was more than willing to pick up where we left off. I must admit that was enough to make me feel vindicated and triumphant. Despite the hard feelings that swept me in the past, she managed to talk me into turning over a new leaf. I guess afterall I had fooled myself into believing that my feelings for her must have subsided when in reality I was viscerally missing her, but that subtle feeling was numbed by the day-to-day hustle and bustle until this call happened only to rekindle what was buried deep inside of me.

After almost two hours of talking — starting from the moment I was on the metro, all through the fifteen-minute walk to my building from the metro station and having to stand outside the building for more than an hour — she succeeded in stabbing her hooks into me. Unable to resist the temptation of winning her back, I took a leap of faith and decided to give her a clean slate for which, in hindsight, I consider myself a sinner. Looking back at this decision, I resembled a rehabilitated drug addict who pined for one last dose when it became in their reach. The fact that she could lure me back so effortlessly after having ghosted me for months speaks volumes of how manipulative she was and how I always played second fiddle when it came to determining the flow of the relationship.

Lo and behold, the reconciliation proved different this time! She showed great zeal to take the major step of meeting up which made me believe that she came back with a serious consideration to fully commit. Also, the realization that our feelings, against all the odds, were still very much alive lead me to the firm conviction that we were definitely meant to be together. With my annual leave looming, she suggested it would be the perfect opportunity. We vacillated at first as to whether she should apply for me to visit her in Australia or whether she should fly to Dubai. We finally agreed to meet halfway in her home country, Thailand, as in doing so we would tremendously economize on our travelling expenses. We coordinated to arrive at the same day and we were fortunate enough that the arrival, at Bangkok, of the flights we booked were only about forty minutes apart. I had successfully obtained the visa three weeks prior to our scheduled flights — which were meant to coincide with the first day of my two-week leave. We talked over and over in the last few days leading up to our imminent meeting about how upbeat we were and how we could not wait for that moment to arrive. It was immensely astonishing how things escalated from months of absolutely no contact to actually travelling to see each other in a span of weeks.

• • •

The long-awaited moment finally arrives

Four years of an emotional rollercoaster boiled down to the evening of Friday, October 28th when we touched down at Bangkok International Airport. I recall it was around the time the king of Thailand who was highly revered by the vast majority across the country passed away and so, just as she asked me to, I donned a black shirt, a black suit jacket and a grey pair of trousers. I stood near the exit gate where she should be awaiting me (she arrived earlier than I did). To say I was at once excited and extremely nervous as I was looking around to spot her is one heck of an understatement... There she was! Sporting a black dress that accentuated her figure, she was fairly exhilarated as she crept up on me all of a sudden and hugged me while her cousin was filming the incredible moment. Her cousin then stepped up and put a garland around my neck as a welcoming gesture. It felt surreal. We were both thrown into a state of euphoria as if no one else was at the airport in that instant other than the two of us. Shortly after we snapped back to our consciousness we met with a friend of hers, a Sydney-based Thai-Australian transgender model, who also happened to fly in from Australia that same evening. To wrap up that spectacular occasion the four of us dined in a restaurant inside the airport. I relished every second talking to her and watching them schmooze in Thai while enjoying every mouthful of my noodles.

After the meal, we parted ways with her friend and took a cab to a hotel which she had already booked beforehand. Her cousin sat in the passenger seat. I sat by the right window while she was lying down with her head resting on my lab and her legs half stretched to occupy the width of the back seat. We didn't talk much on the way. It was more of making eye contact and smiling while I was caressing her brown to golden dip-dyed chin-cut straight hair. I suppose we were still acclimating ourselves to the reality of being able to actually touch one another after having gone through a seemingly endless abyss of gadget communications — characterized by a cycle of emotions that passes through the whole spectrum — made it difficult to envisage that this moment was likely to materialize. We reached the hotel in about fifteen minutes. Her cousin wished us good night and took off in the same cab to her home which is quite a ways from the hotel. As we stepped into our room, in the spur of the moment, we hugged tightly, plumped ourselves down on the bed and I proceeded to plant a long, passionate kiss on her lips. It was already nighttime, so obviously after a long journey and a constellation of feelings, bathing and a long sound sleep would do us good. Something else however - conceivably more likely to happen - was sandwiched between them. Apparently the craving we had for each other couldn’t be subdued by the exhaustion. The moment we came out of the shower we went to that cozy bed, failing to hide our uncontrollable desire for each other’s flesh, and started making love. It was worth every second despite the effect of the combination of exhaustion and excitement of our long-awaited meeting. That was just about the last thing we did in that dream-like evening; The first of what would later turn out to be a memorable fortnight. Here is the most intriguing part though, that fortnight was typically a compressed version of the three preceeding years during which we were distanced by thousands of miles. All the fascinating moments in this short vacation were cancelled out by intermittently recurring tensions and heated conversations. Not surprisingly though provided her disposition.

We spent our first three days in Bangkok. The first day in particular was the most notable. Accompanied by her cousin, we took a train to the city center, wandered around and then had an early lunch in a food court. I wasn’t familiar with the names of the places we've been to for all the signposts, the maps on the train stations and even the announcements were in Thai (and why bother much when she is around?). After the meal, we hit an aquarium which I recall to be just nearby where we spent hours on end - one of the most mesmerizing and captivating you can ever come across. Excitement was never killed for a second given the succession of things we did from boat riding, to watching the penguins swimming and shootig themselves out of water in terrifying speed and sauntering in a labyrinth of tunnels where glass barriers separated us from innumerable types of fish and mammals in basically all directions. We were ever so ecstatic, took pictures, held hands and even kissed. Hours passed before we realized it was time for us to return home, not before we loitered for quite sometime in the city streets and bought a few things though. It rained heavily just as we took the train back. Timely right!

The next day I invited her for lunch in an Arabic restaurant. You can very rarely come across Arabic restaurants especially in that region, but we were lucky to find one a few hundred meters away. Just as I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t meant to be pretty all the way. Her mood was far from right ever since we woke up. In fact, she was the complete opposite of the lively person she was the day before. Well, that is indeed par for the course. She blamed me for waking up late that morning and hence missing breakfast at the hotel's buffet. Only after we finished the meal and left the restaurant she started to interact with me normally. I seriously expected her to at least try to act nice and behave in a more appropriate way for the sake of this short vacation and above all 'our very first meeting'. But alas, expectations aren’t always met. She just cannot control her mood swings no matter what the circumstance or situation might be. I was shocked to realize how hostile and inconsiderate she could get, making a fuss out of trivial things and refusing to talk to me for hours (or even a whole day! It happened!), whether we were shopping, dining, taking a walk or even lying on bed!

On the third day she suggested we go to Rayong which is a four-hour road trip from Bangkok. The town where she grew up and spent most of her early years and also where her family’s business and some of their properties are established. We took a mini bus from the bus terminal around fourish and reached Rayong at night time. She made a reservation beforehand in a very decent condo where we spent the remaining days of our vacation. A period I may describe as exquisite and also equally stressful and dramatic. On the one hand, we saw places and did plenty of activities that I truly enjoyed. On the other hand, our quarrels were so heated that I decided to return to Dubai a week before my actual return date to end this nightmare once and for all. I made this rash decision because I couldn’t bare the incessant irrational quarrels. I went by myself to the agency and booked a flight back to Dubai on the evening of the very next day. Only while we were having lunch the next day, only hours before my flight, she made efforts to convince me not to go. She cried after the meal insisting that she was just being emotional and that she didn't expect me to react so fiercely and take the drastic step of leaving without a second thought. I am amazed how she could switch gears between her personalities and roil my emotions in the process.

I must admit her tears and confessions got me a little lenient and sympathetic and compelled me to retract my decision and continue staying for the remaining days of my supposed vacation. As she triumphed, which is usually the case, she contacted the agency and postponed the flight date for another week (the actual return date I previously booked) and of course paid the booking cost in consequence. This incident was a turning point I must say. And it happened unfortunately after a string of squabbles over silly matters spoiled moments that could add up to the remarkable memories. I fully reconciled myself to the fact that she would never change and in any second her mood might just swing the other way just like a pendulum to start another fuss out of the blues. Things started to get better and yet deep down I was still very cautious and alert around her. Anyone in their right frame of mind would agree that such kind of affairs is far from what is generally perceived as ‘love’ where a couple can reciprocate their feelings candidly while working out things together. I just couldn’t find my rhythm around her and felt like I wasn’t myself most of the time as though she is some sort of emotional vampire.

The following days amazingly passed without any trouble that I could think of. Not only were our daytimes wonderful, but even between the sheets we had mind blowing sex and cuddled and talked till we fell asleep. Not incidentally, as our quarrels significantly lessened, the inclination for sex intensified and even our climaxes got more pleasurable.

She took me to the plaza where their business is set up in a fine evening. A well-established electrical shop managed by her mom and sister-in-law and a repair shop run by her brother side by side. We then went to a quiet restaurant bar, along with her brother and two of his pals, in motorbikes (I rode with her brother and she rode with one of his pals while the other rode on his own), had dinner and heineken beer to wash it down and played some games to keep things interesting. It goes to show you that verbal communication isn't the only imperative means to having a meaningful connection between people. Afterall smiles and friendly gestures are part of the rudimentary universal human interactions.

The fact that the frequency of conflicts has palpably diminished was such a relief for me and allowed me to find more meaning in connecting with the person I traveled thousands of miles to spend time with. Although her mood swings could be a worrisome distraction, her spontaneity meant excitement was always in the air and coming up with ideas to occupy the daytime was never a concern; shopping in malls, buying fruits and vegetables from local markets, going out for traditional meals or simply strolling hand-in-hand and having dinner in a cozy wooden hut by the beach.

Of course the evening she hired a bike and took me for an exquisite dinner in a hotel perfectly situated in a hill is still and will ever remain fresh in my mind. It was a spectacular ride in an enchanting road that led to the hill. Eerily, we rarely came across a vehicle along that road as though we were heading towards some abandoned village uphill, giving her the freedom of turning around to flash a smile every now and then. Well, ruin was the complete opposite of what I saw when we reached. The entrance to the hotel was a museum of some sort where some old-fashioned cars were standing to the side. We proceeded through a long passage where antique pieces and pictures were kept in shelves along the way. The quietude and heavenly ambiance of that place almost felt like a temple that alters your consciousness altogether, so mesmerizing in a way that is tremendously suggestive of taking some snaps, which we did. The passageway led to a spacious dining area that is situated out in the open for the hotel residents with a different range of cozy dining sets overlooking the eye-catching heights in the vicinity, the lush greenery and a coastline (not sure what that body of water was exactly). As we sat, I took a moment to glance at the windows and balconies of the hotel rooms and saw no one standing in the balcony or any light emerging from the windows despite the fading away of the sun in the horizon. There was no sign that those rooms were occupied as though it was some sort of a ghost hotel. Had it not been for the several waiters standing outside I would have easily thought that the unoccupied tables around us are in fact occupied by ghosts. Perhaps the road leading to the hill and the hotel that evening were deliberately emptied out in anticipation of our visit to complement the lovely atmosphere with an undistracted romantic dinner.

Time – seemingly dilating and contracting with the succession of wonderful and stressful moments – passed and I was suddenly awakened to the fact that in less than 24 hours we will part ways. The next day would be my flight and hers would be a few days later. The one thing I regretted as I reached this realization is that we failed to have meaningful conversations through all these days, conversations that would decide our very possible bond in the near future. All we ever did was going out, eating, fighting, reconciling, having sex and sleeping. Fourteen chaotic days ended up with a quiet dinner and evening with the only exciting prospect of sex later on in our last night.

I always had the impression that the day of travelling is a short one bearing in mind the preparation time which always seem insufficient, the final packing, the trip to the airport itself and the check-in and departure procedures. Surprisingly, after days of serenity, squabbles erupted again in the dying moments as we were all set to start our journey to the airport. The last few hours I thought would suitable for a meaningful discussion were tainted by a meaningless argument over yet another trivial matter, just what I could do without. Throughout the journey she was picking at me and I was responding, a familiar vignette that was only intervened by brief moments of silence when she was well aware that a few hours are separating us from my departure. Her cousin met with us at the airport as soon as we arrived and we went to a cafeteria for some desserts and coffee. We were all talking, laughing and taking pictures but at the same time deep down I felt shattered and lost. Nothing sapped my energy and tortured me emotionally in my life as much as she did. Just how inconsiderate of her to ruin the atmosphere so callously and flagrantly and send me back home in such a miserable mood. Every time I looked upon her the only words that crossed my mind were “you are not the one for me! I deserve better than this”. I kept looking at my wrist, counting the minutes to start my check-in process, feeling so eager to say goodbye. I felt an inner peace as I hugged her, kissed her goodbye and gazed at her eyes that that was arguably the last time we ever touch.

A fine evening by the beach...

With an eye to the idiosyncratic way in which our paths have merged for a period of time and then diverged I wonder whether our past and current circumstances, the places we go to, the people we meet and our interactions with them came to exist by accident or by an intelligent design that forms the paths which we are peremptorily assigned to traverse. My firm conviction, however, is that whatever we shared - the lengthy phone conversations, the unstable long distance relationship that still managed to prevail despite the many arguments and uncertainties until we met, the things we did, the meals we had, the places we’ve been to, the very beds we made love on, and our final breakup - were all meant to happen as they came and in them are surely lessons to be heeded. That fortnight was an adventure unlike any other I’ve encountered. Nevertheless, it is but an illusion now just like last hour, my final year in university, and my tenth birthday. If life is perceived this way, then we can describe it as a series of grievances over dead experiences falling away like sheer cliffs. The aliveness of the moment, however - regardless of its beauty or dreadfulness - with our eyes fixated on the moments ahead, is a consolatory recognition that will perennially keep nullifying these grievances with newfound hope and drive for fresh experiences.

#memoir #thailand_trip #nostalgia #narcissitic ex #long_distance_relationship #ldr struggles #ldr

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salarta · 7 years

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My Attitude/Pessimism Toward Marvel

I’m tired but can’t sleep. That means writing a post about Polaris and my general pessimism toward Marvel.

I’m putting this behind a cut because I know some people out there don’t want to see it, and I won’t push it on them when they search. Others have probably seen it over and over and are sick to death of seeing it. Here I go.

I’m extremely pessimistic about Marvel these days. I expect a mix of nothing, backhanded/sabotaged use, and empty gestures that function in the most technical sense possible but don’t actually amount to anything.

Preface: when I note a specific person, do not harass them. I am not just saying this. I mean it. Harassment is bad. It sucks. Don’t do it.

Introduction to Marvel

I learned about Polaris in 2009. I’ve been putting up with Marvel’s behavior for the past 8 years. I’m jaded and pissed off.

When I discovered her, it was at the precise moment when Marvel was shutting down the good things going for her and trying to discard her in space. I loved Jeff Parker’s Exiles run. They abruptly shut it down after six issues; Jeff Parker even had most of a script for issue #7 done when they did it. I loved Lorna’s presence in the Wolverine and the X-Men cartoon. They abruptly canceled it after one season, despite the team having plans as far out as season 3.

My introduction to Marvel’s attitude toward her was already on a sour note. In spite of it, I entered into Marvel with optimism. I naively thought that perhaps with enough positivity and shows of support, things would change.

But then I got to Tom Brevoort. Presently Senior Vice President of Publishing.

Introduction to Editorial/Executive Individuals

Back around 2012, Brevoort was very openly negative toward Polaris. When the matter of Lorna’s parentage came out, he was more than happy to try to claim Lorna couldn’t possibly be Magneto’s daughter, yet somehow Siryn could be Banshee’s daughter, with some convoluted excuse about “genetics breeding true.” When someone asked about Polaris possibly being in the Avengers vs X-Men event, his response was to say that Lorna couldn’t be part of it because “events are only for A-listers and B-listers.” Meaning he blew off any potential value she could have to the story, and looked down on her as a “lesser” character.

This is in addition to Brevoort bending over backwards to exclude her from family events in things like Children’s Crusade.

My first experience with someone at Marvel in an editorial/executive role was someone who had nothing but contempt for my favorite character and looked for any excuses he could find to devalue her and exclude her from anything he could.

Handling Lorna’s Return From Space

At the time I got into her, Marvel comics had Lorna shoved into space, same with Rachel Summers and Havok. You know how important they seemed to see her? They kept her in space limbo for a year. A full year lost, because according to what I’ve read, the X-Men and space offices didn’t know who had control of the characters.

Think about that. If this was someone like Wolverine or Storm, they would’ve been on top of making sure who could use them. Instead, they cared so little that they spent a year just letting her hang with no writers able to use her.

When they did finally bring her back? They shoved her back onto X-Factor.

X-Factor

Now, a lot of people love X-Factor, and they love Peter David. I understand that. I had a volatile start here, and if I’m completely honest, I didn’t give Peter David a fair shot before judging at the time. But I need to explain why I was volatile over this.

Polaris was in X-Factor in the 90s. She had a lot of major development afterward. She joined her father Magneto and her step-siblings on Genosha, developing her powers, gaining vital skills, building a reputation. She survived the genocide and dealt with trauma afterward. She lost her powers from Scarlet Witch stripping them from her. Got them back when Apocalypse forced her to become Pestilence. She went through Hell.

... Then Marvel decided to kick her back down to where she was before all of that development. They shoved her back on her old 90s team. Forced her to remain Havok’s supporting girlfriend. The reveal cover even had her standing behind Havok to drive this point home.

To me, it felt like a symbolic “fuck you” to everything Lorna suffered through, all the growth she had, all the ways she established her own character.

This was my first experience with, in my eyes, Marvel technically fulfilling something I and other fans wanted while undermining it. Fans wanted her back from space. They brought her back from space... then put her on a book that at first glance turned back the clock on all her development, and with a writer who is deeply opposed to characters he’s writing being involved in crossovers and broader Marvel events if he can help it.

Marvel traded exile in space for exile on X-Factor. They didn’t solve the problem. They just changed where the problem existed.

But like I said. I don’t think I gave Peter David a fair shot at the time. He did do some good things.

Sabotaged Milestones

I want to note going into this that I had some major problems with some of Peter David’s writing. I was very upset when he wrote Lorna saying he could do without seeing her father for the rest of her life; giving Marvel an excuse to never use that relationship. All-New X-Factor #3-6 also treated Lorna very, very poorly. It lacked empathy in writing her “rage” moments, and undermined her leadership to make Gambit look better.

I wanted to get that out of the way for context.

X-Factor #243 told Lorna’s origin story. She’d gone over 40 years without it being told. And it was good! Much better than I expected.

All-New X-Factor let Lorna lead a team in her own right! It also took over 40 years to happen. Until then, she only got to be “replacement leader” for other characters’ absences.

All-New X-Factor in general let her interact with Quicksilver, and #14 let her interact with Scarlet Witch! It was the first time she got to spend time with her siblings in around 10 years.

... And Marvel refused to promote any of it.

Marvel did nothing to promote Lorna’s origin story getting told after 40 years of Marvel never telling it. They didn’t promote ANXF at all. When ANXF #14 was coming out, they went so far in trying to keep people from knowing about it that they withheld its cover until a week before release. Too late for most people to order it. Not to mention it was the second issue of a double shipping month.

But wait. It doesn’t just stop there. It also goes into Marvel trying to use attributes of Lorna while refusing to actually use Lorna herself.

“Replacing” Lorna, Not Using Her

At the same time as ANXF #14′s release, Marvel had promoted Axis with a cover months in advance of Scarlet Witch paired with Enchantress, with Wanda’s hair tinted red and Enchantress’ hair tinted green. So basically? While Marvel tried to bury ANXF #14 happening, they tried to exploit the visual of Lorna and Wanda to sell more copies of Axis.

Then, after Axis forced a retcon that made Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver suddenly not Magneto’s kids anymore, Marvel decided to do something else dickish. They created a character called Luminous, to be a “sister” to Wanda and Pietro.

That’s not one, but two times Marvel - mainly the Avengers side, meaning most likely Brevoort - tried to replace Lorna instead of actually using her. One, a character they saw as “more worthy,” and another brand new character they created for the sole purpose of occupying the role she had. That’s how much Marvel looked down on Lorna: they decided they’d rather create a character than use her.

Forced Limbo

Marvel canceled All-New X-Factor “due to low sales.” Notably, when they put out the Scarlet Witch solo, they let that book last for a year despite having sales just as low starting with issue #2.

The last time we saw Lorna in anything before her return this year was Secret Wars in 2015. At the time, I was excited. She was going to be able to interact with her father. Her broad family ties were acknowledged with Secret Wars: House of M. Various alternate reality versions of her had cameos.

I started dreading that Marvel doing so much for her all at once was a sign they planned to throw her into limbo afterward, and this was just to smooth things over before they did. I kept it to myself though because I wanted to believe Marvel intended to do better by her from that point onward.

Except I was right.

For two years, Marvel kept her in forced limbo. No appearances. No cameos. Nothing. The absolute most she got in that time was Sabretooth talking about how she smelled. Marvel looked at interest in Lorna, and for two years said “Fuck her, let’s use literally anyone else.”

Oh, but she’s back now, so it’s all fine! Right?

No. It’s not.

Beneath Men On Return (X-Men Blue)

Her first appearance this year was an alternate future in Deadpool and the Mercs for Money. There, she wore an all green costume with Magneto’s helmet and Magneto’s chest element. At the time, I made the mistake of supporting it. I should have seen and treated it as a bad omen of things to come.

When she finally got re-introduced with X-Men Blue #8 and #9, I was pretty damned jaded by Marvel. After everything I explained above, after two years of forced limbo, I expected she would briefly appear and then get thrown back into forced limbo. It turns out, how she’s been written and still being written makes me wish Bunn would stop writing her.

X-Men Blue #8 spends a ton of time building up Havok. He gets to be a threat to the teen X-Men. He gets to lead a brand new team of his own. He gets to interact with Briar Raleigh and get introduced as working with Emma Frost. He gets to establish connections. He gets all of this.

Then Polaris gets introduced. And how is she introduced? With dialogue exclusively emphasizing that Havok is her ex. And a description text box that describes as only one thing: “Daughter of Magneto.”

Think about that. Imagine Havok bursts into a room Polaris is in and all he says is “I know you were my girlfriend, but I won’t let my feelings for you hold me back.” Imagine Magneto shows up, and the only thing Marvel thinks you should know about him is “Father of Polaris.” Nothing else.

X-Men Blue #9 proceeds to reinforce this. It takes great pains to re-frame Lorna’s long-held “Mistress of Magnetism” title into looking like something she’s only allowed to have because Magneto is her father. When Lorna uses her powers to make two team members leave, one of them says it’s a sign she’s definitely Magneto’s daughter.

Because, y’know, a silly woman like Polaris couldn’t possibly want to do that of her own accord. It must be because of her daddy. Right?

Then, in a future issue (I think the next one), Bunn writes Lorna acting surprised by an attack on the team’s base - just so he can write Magneto “correcting” her about how attacks can come at any moment.

This is Polaris. A woman who’s been attacked out of nowhere repeatedly for decades. She survived a genocidal massacre that came out of nowhere and killed millions, for fuck’s sake. There’s no way in hell she’s going to not expect an attack while in a base of operations. She wasn’t safe in the heart of Genosha, she’s not going to think a piddling mansion will somehow be safer. I found this very insulting as a whole.

In the latest event, Lorna is put in the Malice costume at one point. Her reaction can be summarized as “Oh wow, this is one weird costume alright! How strange. Oh well.” While the scene is designed to heavily emphasize Mutant Massacre, the horror of dead mutants in the sewers, and Magneto’s outright about it.

Here’s the thing. Malice possessed Lorna and used her body to hurt and kill people, including those she loved. She was a passenger in her own body, forced to witness the horror of it all. For Lorna to have no kind of real reaction at all is insulting. The book plays it like it’s just for fun and thrills and doesn’t care at all about how Lorna would actually behave.

And something that doesn’t help is occasionally forcing dialogue where Lorna says ‘father’ or ‘dad’ in spots that are completely unnatural, just to remind everyone that he’s above her in that fashion. As I write this, I’m trying to remember if I saw Magneto refer to Lorna as “daughter” like this at any point.

The consistent pattern in everything Bunn’s done with Lorna so far is this: “Magneto and Havok are great, Lorna is beneath them and that’s the only value she has as a character.”

Odds and Ends

I’ve said a lot here, but there’s some pieces throughout the years that didn’t fit above.

The X-Men franchise had its anniversary in 2013. Marvel made covers meant to combine into one big image. Polaris was on none of them. Yet, Marvel included Havok alongside four of the original five X-Men on one cover.

In general, Marvel has been forcing Havok into every major development for Lorna while never raising her profile when things happen for Havok. When he went to Uncanny Avengers, the most she came up was unnamed as a “crazy girlfriend” he’s glad to be away from.

Yet, when Lorna’s origin story was told, Havok got to be involved. When Lorna led a team of her own, Havok got to be forced in as spying on her via Quicksilver with the reason being that Havok in sum thinks she’s not smart enough to avoid being taken advantage of by Harrison Snow. And then X-Men Blue, where he got to be the primary focus of what was being played up and promoted as Lorna’s big return after 2 years of forced limbo.

With regard to Avengers vs X-Men, Brevoort did technically relent to include her... as a nameless cameo. Who gets mind-controlled into submission by Emma Frost. And who Magneto completely ignores being treated that way after having gone into space to help rescue Lorna just a month prior.

When Occasional Good Isn’t Enough

As you may be picking up here, Marvel did allow some good things for Lorna during these past 8 years.

She returned from space. Magneto is her father. She got to interact with Wanda and Pietro. She got her origin story told. She got to lead a team of her own. She got her first playable appearances in video games. She got a figurine after a decade without one and lots of fan demand in top 10 lists. Arguably (cause Nix took the initiative to ask to use her), Marvel allowed her to be a star on Gifted, which is the best writing she’s had in a long time.

A person might look at the good stuff she’s managed to get in the past 8 years and think: what’s the deal? Why be pessimistic and negative about Marvel when they’ve done good things for her in that time?

Here’s the thing. Doing the occasional good thing does not undo massive heapings of bad that happen at the same time. If you burn down my house, giving me a brand new car isn’t going to bring my house back, nor is it anything close to a replacement for what I lost.

I’m not “ungrateful,” I just don’t let the rare nice thing from Marvel blind me to all the times they’ve screwed over the character I care about and keep doing it. I don’t let the occasional nice thing make me forget that Marvel’s spent most of her nearly 50 years of existence cheating her out of everything she can be.

My attitude toward Marvel is a reflection of Marvel’s attitude toward what I care about.

Some people are quick to play nice over that occasional good. I see doing so as a mistake. It’s giving Marvel permission to keep treating Lorna poorly as long as they throw a tiny breadcrumb over every so often. I think it’s part of what’s allowed Marvel to hold her back for literal decades. They don’t have to do anything more than the bare minimum if the bare minimum looks like it’s enough for Polaris fans.

Some people are afraid Marvel will at some point “punish” demanding more from Marvel after the occasional good. My stance is this: if Marvel is genuine, if they really want to do right by Lorna, then they’ll try to do right by her no matter what I say. If they try to tear down Lorna for things I’ve said, then they were lying any time they said they support her or that they said they try to be a good writer/editor. At which point they require more criticism and complaint, not less.

This post was long, but necessary for me. I needed to say all this.

#polaris #lorna dane #x-men #marvel #personal

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anycontentposter · 5 years

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Review: The Defakto Transit is a Modern, Minimalist Watch From the Ickler Family

Defakto is a small watch manufacture based out of Germany. Founded in 2009 by Raphael Ickler in Pforzheim, Defakto specializes in high quality, minimalist watches. If the Ickler name sounds familiar, it should. They’ve been precision machining watch cases and components out of the same city since 1924 and have several brands under their umbrella (most notably: Archimede). Defakto as a brand stands on its own, in part because Raphael has drawn from his family’s experience in the watchmaking world to create a reliable and well-built watch.

Today, we’re looking at the “Transit,” a model created to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the brand. This minimal design is easy to read and wear, with a strong dial:bezel ratio inside a slim 40mm case. The Transit’s design DNA is clearly cut from a similar cloth as the rest of the lineup, but when talking about minimalist design, it’s the little things that matter. Let’s take a closer look at all of the intricacies of Defakto’s Transit. First, some specs:

$860 Review: The Defakto Transit is a Modern, Minimalist Watch From the Ickler Family Case

Stainless steel

Movement

ETA 2824-2

Dial

Matte black convex dial

Lume

Indices, hands, and minute markings, Superluminova

Lens

Domed sapphire

Strap

German-made black leather

Water Resistance

3 atm (30m, 100ft.)

Dimensions

40mm x 48mmmm

Thickness

9.8mm

Lug Width

20mm

Crown

Push/Pull

Warranty

Yes

Price

$860

Case

For a 40mm case, the one on the Transit wears smaller than its size suggests. That’s thanks to the comparatively short lug-to-lug distance of 48mm. This translates to small lugs, and positioned to angle down dramatically toward the wrist. The resulting effect is that your focus is drawn to the circular shape of the watch.

Running around the outside of the dial, there’s a small brushed bezel that slopes from the crystal to the side of the case. You’re left with a wide open dial with a small border surrounding it, making the Transit open, airy, and legible. On the right side of the case, you’ll find a small push down crown with deeply cut grooves in its surface that make winding and time-setting a breeze.

Given the Ickler family’s 100 years of case making experience, it comes as little surprise that the case on the Transit is clean and sharp throughout. The design is simple, but executed well and I really like the finishing technique. While it’s probably easy to just call it a brushed case and walk away, there’s a bit more going on here when you look closer. There are at least five different brushed surfaces, all at different angles.

On the bezel, the brushing pattern follows the circular shape of the bezel itself. The sides of the case both feature horizontal brushing, while the space in between the lugs is brushed vertically. On top of each lug, the brushing is vertical, and finally the flat surface of the crown features radial brushing. Each transitional surface is nice and sharp. As you rotate your wrist, you’ll notice the light playing off each surface in a different direction adding a subtle, yet interesting visual effect.

Dial and Hands

A matte black, curved dial adorns the face of the Transit. The curve is gentle and hard to notice at first, especially under the curved sapphire. Upon closer inspection, you’ll notice that the long minutes hand features a curve at the edge as well. From the top-down, the hands and dial appear to be flat which go well with the minimalist design of the watch. The indices are made up of a series of Super-LumiNova-treated lines that feature a gently rounded edge. They’re actually more like long, flat ovals. There’s a longer oval at five-minute intervals with shorter ones in between. The rounded markers play well with the overall design of the watch. If they were squared off, the Transit’s dial would leave a different impression entirely. The rounded accents throughout counterbalance the sharp edges of the case and lugs with something softer, and I like the resulting effect.

Pointing to the time, there are three hands: white hands for the minutes and hours, and a contrasting red hand for the seconds. Mirroring the shape of the indices, each hand is a long thin rectangle with a rounded end. The minutes hand extends fairly far towards the edge of the dial, hitting about halfway through the minute marker scale. The hours hand is a fair bit shorter, falling just short of the inside of the longer hour markers. Finally, the red seconds hand is the longest of the bunch, reaching all the way to the outer edge of the dial. On a minimalist style watch, these small differences in details go a long way. The hand set on the Transit is balanced and easy to read — just how it should be. Another thing that jumped out at me is the base of the seconds hand. It sits at the top of the hand stack and is wide enough to cover the origination points of the hours and minutes hands. It’s another cool little detail that makes the Transit look that much cleaner.

All of the indices and hands are treated with Super-LumiNova, giving the Defakto a neon light-like vibe in the dark. The red seconds hand has a different color of lume, so in the dark conditions, the seconds hand still has a similar pop like it does in the light.

Worth noting is that there are two dial variants for Transit: Standard and Inkognito. The former has a logo, and the latter is without one.

Movement

Through the display case back, you’ll have the pleasure of watching an ETA 2824-2 beating away inside. The 2824-2 is a reliable Swiss-made movement that beats at 28,800bph, sending the red seconds hand around the dial with a smooth sweep. Defakto uses the stock movement, so there’s nothing too fancy to look at inside. There’s no date display on the watch, so the functionality is limited to telling the time. For a minimally designed three-hander, a workhorse movement like the ETA 2824-2 makes sense. There’s some basic info laser engraved around the ring surrounding the display back. Admittedly, the quality of the engraving could be better. The edges of the text are a little soft and it’s not very deep into the surface.

Strap and Wearability

The Transit ships on a German-made black leather strap. It’s on the thinner side, but that doesn’t affect the overall quality and comfort of the strap, and the thinness complements the case well. I liked how the strap was comfortable to wear right out of the box with no breaking in. A matte black signed clasp (admittedly a weird choice as this watch isn’t black, but it leaves the strap looking very unassuming) keeps the watch secured to your wrist and two slim leather keeper loops will hold onto any extra strap you may have hanging around. I did throw the Transit on an ADPT strap in forest green with the red accent stitching in hopes to match the red seconds hand, but something about the whole look just felt off. Since the watch head is slim and svelte, it felt out of place with a beefy nylon strap. I much prefer the look on the included slim leather strap. If you were to swap out the strap, something slim and leather would probably be your best best.

On the wrist, the Transit wears like it’s not even there. The 9.8mm case sits really close to the wrist, and I’ve found it to be very comfortable during daily wear, no matter what I happen to be doing. The Transit seems best suited for a mix of weekend and business casual office wear — the watch easily slips under a cuff, and the classic profile of the watch, with a silhouette curving from the top down, is inherently refined. I’m sure you could dress it up, but the playful indices and red seconds hand don’t exactly scream “formal” to me. However, I think that’s what I like the most about the Defakto. It’s unassuming, yet remains interesting when you take a closer look. The minimalist design is minimal without being too sparse. It really strikes a nice balance of being refined, classy, casual, and fun all at the same time.

Conclusion

Defakto’s Transit is well-made, well-designed, and well-wearing. It’s also the winner of the German Design Award for 2020, pretty much for the reasons mentioned in the review. It’s a versatile little watch that sits slim on the wrist, and the rounded details throughout set it apart from other “stuffy” minimalist designs and bring something new to the table. I’ve enjoyed my time with the watch quite a bit. It’s my first extended test of a slim minimalist watch and the Transit has made me a convert. It’s nice to have something on your wrist that’s so effortless to wear. Defakto

Images from this post:

The post Review: The Defakto Transit is a Modern, Minimalist Watch From the Ickler Family appeared first on Worn & Wound.

Read more about this at wornandwound.com

https://coolarticlespinner.com/review-the-defakto-transit-is-a-modern-minimalist-watch-from-the-ickler-family/

#defakto #germanwatches #ickler #review #watches

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eyedelater · 7 years

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it makes sense, considering past events, that ???% would emerge upon a sudden traumatic knockout... but what's new and alarming is that ???% now has a voice in the narrative.

???% uses boku pronouns to refer to itself. i'm going with "it" as the third person pronoun for ???% because i don't know what to think yet and that seems pretty neutral.

i don't know whether to treat ???% as a new character or what... i mean, it's obviously not NEW, but when a silent one speaks up after being present but hidden for 100 chapters, the voice itself, if nothing else, is certainly new. ???% was never something with a voice before, was it?

(i'm not saying it has a physical voice, since the text we see in this chapter seems to represent thoughts rather than speech, but you know what i mean. we're hearing from its perspective)

and a character(?) having a voice(?) raises new questions that haven't necessarily been relevant/askable until now. like, how much does ???% know, understand, want? it seems to definitely understand that today's the big day with tsubomi-chan, but why did it start destroying shit as soon as it took control? and in light of the destruction, why did it then continue doing what mob was about to do? does ???% itself also like tsubomi, or is it acting for mob’s sake? does it know that she probably won't like a boy who surfs up to her on a wave of buckled concrete? does it even want mob to get on well with tsubomi in the first place? if so, why? what does ???% get out of doing things that are good or bad for mob? i mean, we've seen in the past that when it does things that are bad for mob (e.g. knocking ritsu unconscious), mob fears and suppresses it as much as possible, pretending it doesn't exist. that can't be what ???% wants, right? so doing things that are bad for mob isn't "profitable" for ???%, but doing things that are good for mob (e.g. winning the fateful battle against mogami) isn’t necessarily good for ???% either. so then, what does it want for mob? what does it want from mob? what does it think of mob?

is it separate from mob? i’d say so. distinct but inseparable? the other side of mob's coin... but most people, even espers, don't have an other side to their coin... the inhabitant of mob’s vessel, with a greater capacity than any other known vessel... is it stuffed in there with his soul or what?

(maybe tsubomi will be like "(DOKI DOKI) (SWOON~) i always wanted to date a Bad Boy...!" when ???% walks bleeding tattered mob up to her and silently offers her the dropped bouquet like "(???% face)")

maybe ???% wants what mob wants but just... pursues his goals at MAX INTENSITY with NO REGARDS FOR CONSEQUENCES. pure chaotic self-interest. bullies roughing up you and your little brother? EASY WAY TO STOP THEM: KNOCK EVERYONE OUT. JUST EVERYONE. choked out by an egomaniac? EASY WAY TO TEACH HIM A LESSON: HUMBLE HIM... AND HIS ENTIRE SCHOOL BUILDING. IN THE SKY. JUST FLING EM UP THERE.

but i think this development in the story does discount a few of the main hypotheses as to ???%'s nature. the fact that it refers to itself in the first person (and that it says it can be needed at times) seems to indicate an autonomy and self-awareness we hadn't seen before; thus, the idea that ???% is some aspect of mob's personality seems to have been nullified. like, i'd say this shows that it is certainly a separate consciousness from the shigeo we know and love. right now, kageyama shigeo is out cold, and if you come knocking, someone else will answer the door. it's not just mob failing to resist doing as he pleases because his percentage meter went haywire. mob is only in control up to 100%. similarly, i think we can discount my heretofore favored hypothesis, the idea that ???% is not so much an autonomous entity, but rather a defense mechanism that takes over mob's body in order to provide a crude, imprecise force of self-preservation. we can now see that it IS probably an autonomous entity with its own thoughts and identity, not just a phenomenon or reaction.

but why did ???% quake up the pavement??? this mystifies me. maybe it really does just do everything at max intensity? i guess we'll have to wait and see.

i think a well-supported hypothesis for the true nature of ???% would now be something like, “???% is a spiritual entity, unknown in origin, which is (and has always been) permanently bound to mob’s spirit, but which is not itself a part of mob’s consciousness/personality.” that’s far from the only option, of course, but i’d say it’s among the most likely explanations... we’ll have to wait, see, wait, and see.

another thing to address would be the creepy transition mob's body undergoes on pages 2 and 3... what is that shit? we just don't know

props to ONE-sensei for starting to wrap up these two longstanding storylines ("mob likes tsubomi" and "what is ???%") SIMULTANEOUSLY

some translation notes:

can you guess why i posted this chapter early?????????? (HINT: IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO TEXT ON 7 OF THE 13 PAGES)

when the kid says "hellooo..." and "hey, are you-" in the raws he's actually saying "onii-san" as a way to address mob, i.e. calling out to him like "hey mister" but i couldn't decide on a good way to translate that "onii-san" ("mister" is more appropriate as a translation for "oji-san," not "onii-san," and "big bro" or "bro" sounds weird in english, we just don't have a good translation for onii-san in english unless it's in the context of actual brothers) and i felt it would sound weird if i left it as "onii-san" so i took the easy way out and translated the "onii-san"s instead as what an english-speaker would cautiously call out to someone in this situation (i.e. hellooo... etc)

in retrospect, i'm kicking myself for putting "important moment" instead of "special occasion" in ???%'s third line. the phrase just wouldn't come to me until too late and it sounds so much better

KOAP

you must be feeling a little dusty after falling on the pavement there, mob-kun. why don't you go freshen up, wash your face with some KOAP

lather up some cleansing, sudsy KOAP

the "i'll make sure nothing gets in my way" line on the last page... ok, the japanese line was "jama suru mono ha, zenbu dokashite..." which Literally translates to "things that get in my way, all of them moving aside" or something along those lines. well, the "dokashite" verb is like "remove" or "move (out of the way)" but basically, it's quite clear that the sentiment of the statement is that he will not be stopped by any obstacles. so i had a long internal battle about how literally to translate the line. and i eventually decided that "everything that gets in my way will be moved aside..." just didn't sound badass enough. (like, the badass feeling sorta gets across in the raws, but it's hard to translate the literal line in a way that retains the badassness, you know?) so i tweaked the line slightly into its current form. now, to be clear, this is far from the first or most notable line i've tweaked slightly without even telling y’all. it's just... this line is still frustrating me a little... but i hope it came across as appropriately badass.

for the omake, the "if you make eye contact and say it plainly" part... fuck ok maybe i just stuck that "plainly" in there because it sounded good. doesn't it sound good? but the more literal translation is like, "if, making eye contact, you do a dialogue/discussion/conversation/interaction..." with that last word being "対話." and with those four definitions of 対話 provided to me, i couldn't decide whether it connoted speech in particular, or if it could also be applied to nonverbal interactions. because the context seemed to be, like, "if you make eye contact etc, your message will get across." and making eye contact is, in itself, an interaction! no words necessary! but i translated it as "say it (plainly)" because i figured if it's the eye contact part of the interaction that matters in getting your message across, it doesn't matter if you're speaking or not. (sorry if this doesn't make any sense at all, i'm just trying to straighten out some things with my convoluted thought process for picking the right words)

#(mostly about SPOILERS SPOILERS: ???%)#and some translation notes #mob psycho 100 spoilers #mp100 spoilers #MOB BLOG MOB LOG #question mark question mark question mark percent

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chicago-marlena · 5 years

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Trip III: Exploring Pilsen

Hello everyone and welcome back!

For this week’s adventure, a small group of my classmates and I ventured to the very colorful and culturally rich neighborhood of Pilsen. Similarly to what happened on my last trip, this was unfortunately adventure was a rainy one, but nevertheless the excitement of the art and Latinx culture was enough to get me out of the house (and there thanks to Uber. whoo!) As someone who grew up in Aurora, IL, in a primarily Latinx community, I was deeply excited for this trip. This trip my first to the area, and I was specifically enthused by the neighborhood's artwork/outdoor murals, cultural foods, language differences, and decorations for the upcoming dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), a traditional Mexican holiday dedicated to memorializing the dead. If you’re unfamiliar with Pilsen, allow me to provide some quick insight into the neighborhood itself.

A banner depicting the saying “Brown is beautiful, Beloved Asheville”. The term Brown refers to the Latinx community in Pilsen, as the banner serves to empower its members. This message helps combat negative stereotypes and unite the Latinx community from all walks of life, as evident in the varying caricatures. | Original photo

Statistically speaking, according to the Statistical Atlas, the neighborhood of Pilsen is predominantly Hispanic, as they make up 70.7% of the population. While observing the area this stat was proven true from the abundance in Latinx businesses, restaurants, and other amenities. While this statistic accounts for a majority of the population today, Pilsen’s neighborhoods had not always been this way. It was not until the 1960s that Pilsen transformed into what we know as the primarily Latinx neighborhood that we see today. Prior to this time period, the area was mainly populated by “Central and Eastern European descendants - including the Bohemians” and referred to as Plzeň, named after a city in today’s Czech Republic (Mitchell, 2014). According to the same source, the neighborhood shift in demographics can be best explained by Chicago’s massive city projects during the 1950s, including expressways, public housing developments, and a university campus (the University of Illinois in Chicago, interestingly enough!); these editions ultimately caused the ethic shift, as Mexican residents to move from the Near West Side into what is now Pilsen.

I decided to begin my trip venturing down W. 18th Street, starting around the corner of West 18th Street and South Carpenter Street. As I began walking, I took note that the area was characterized by an abundance of community resources including restaurants, salons, independent shops, insurance businesses, churches, and even laundromats. The area was a mix of both family-owned businesses, franchises, and independently-owned stores unique to Pilsen.

A street vendor’s fruit stand, full of variety. | Original photo

As I began exploring the area, the first thing that instantly caught my eye was surprisingly a Vietnamese Cafe/Restaurant, titled HaiSous Vietnamese Kitchen located on the corner of W 18th St and S Carpenter Street. On one hand, as a person who identifies as half Vietnamese, I was very excited to see this place (as Vietnamese cuisine is only usually available in the Chinatown area) but on the other hand, I was genuinely surprised to see this in the area. After reading Pilsen’s neighborhood history, I was anticipating seeing mostly Latinx and European-themed businesses, so this was a pleasant surprise to begin my trip on, and later ended up foreshadowing the neighborhood’s abundant cultural diversity.

Vietnamese cafe and restaurant, ‘HaiSous’ located on the corner W 18th Street and S Carpenter Street. | Original photo

While I was at the establishment, I ordered a small Lychee danish for breakfast. Lychee was one of my favorite snacks growing up and is a traditional fruit in my family. Overall the pastry was a 5 out of 5 stars, filled with nostalgia and the delicious lychee cream cheese spread; I definitely recommend it if you’re on the hunt for a small bite!

Lychee danish. | Original Photo

As I continued my walk, the first church-related site I encountered was a shrine located on West 18th Street and South Allport Street, right next to the St. Procopius Catholic Church. Upon first glance, I was ecstatic to see this site, as the area was surrounded by foliage and colorful flowers, with the shrine in the center. (The area was extremely calming and well maintained. Beautiful.) While I wasn’t able to enter and explore the church itself, I took some time to learn more about the shrine itself and the significance to the area.

Shrine of the Virgin of San Juan de Los Lagos | Original photo

For Pilsen community members, the shrine serves as a site for completing promises or mandas (vows in traditional Mexican Catholicism) at one’s own pleasure. The woman depicted in the center of the shrine is known as Our Lady of Guadalupe (also the Virgin of Guadalupe) and is notably a powerful symbol of the Mexican identity and faith, commonly associated with attributes such as empowerment, motherhood, or resilience (Reyes, 2016). The figure is highly embedded into Mexican culture, particularly through religious influence, as best seen depicted on the site’s shrine. Catholicism itself has a large influence on Latinx culture, as I was able to best observe it through the many art murals in the neighborhood. Many of the murals I encountered were either in dedication or featured some form of the powerful symbol; for me, this showed the community’s importance in not only religious values but values that Our Lady of Guadalupe herself represents.

With that in mind, the next few photos are some of my favorite art pieces I encountered while venturing through Pilsen. The community’s abundance in art and murals makes it comparable to a museum. Of all the trips I have taken so far, this trip was the first where I had experienced public art at this frequency; it is apparent that the neighborhood values its murals and the messages that they provide, topics including religion, love, history, or injustice. No other community I have seen so far does public art like Pilsen, making it my most vibrant trip so far.

Without further ado, here are some of my favorites:

Art mural of Our Lady of Guadelupe. The angelic figure at her feet displays red, white, and green, resembling colors of the Mexican flag, as the angel’s wings resemble those of the eagle in the flag’s center. These elements help portray the mural’s theme of freedom and pursuing the American Dream. | Original photo

Additional dedication to the Virgin of Guadelupe | Original photo

This depiction of the religious figure was particularly interesting to me. This piece of art was located on the exterior of a children’s youth center/school building and portrays the Virgin of Guadelupe with younger features mirroring the youth.

Hidden mural. This piece of art touched me emotionally, as I felt it best represented the American Dream for those migrating to the United States. | Original photo

Art depicting cards of the Mexican card game, “La Loteria” | Original photo

While further exploring the public art and murals on W 18th Street, one thing that struck my interest was the addition of art referencing a popular Mexican card game, coined by the name Loteria. The vibrant and colorful pieces were spread throughout the street, hidden on doors and wall corners, paying homage to traditional Mexican culture.

La Sirena Loteria Card. The text in the upper right-hand corner reads “Con los cantos de sirena, no te vayas a marear” translating to “Don't get dizzy with the songs of the mermaid.” | Original photo

La Loteria is a traditional Mexican card game, typically played in family settings and holiday celebrations, and is often compared to being a “Mexican Bingo”. The visual depictions on the cards are imperative to playing the game; while an American Bingo announcer calls out sequences of letters and numbers, i.e., “B-4”, Loteria operates off the premise that an announcer describing general ideas or poems related to the images on the card, i.e., “the coat for the poor” referring to the Sun card (Villegas, 2019). The card game traditionally offers a select set of images and Pilsen’s interpretation of this can be seen in their customized depictions of the cards, unique to the community and the neighborhood. Seeing this was a small but mighty addition to the neighborhood art, ultimately reminding me of playing La Loteria in my hometown with family friends. Small additions like this show the neighborhood artists’ attention to detail when preserving culture; as Loteria is a game that has surpassed many generations and emulates values of family and unity.

A traditional card in the game La Loteria, “El Corazon”, customized to pay homage to the neighborhood of Pilsen | Original photo

To conclude my trip to Pilsen, I stumbled upon the Pilsen Vintage & Thrift, located at 1430 W 18th Street. This shop was just as vibrant as the rest of the neighborhood, filled with vintage goods either sourced or inspired by Latinx culture. To commemorate my trip, I even purchased a couple of small souvenirs including a ring, earrings, and stickers as a way of supporting the community and thanking the shop owners for allowing in-store photography.

The initial view of Pilsen Vintage & Thrift when walking in | Original photo

Pilsen Vintage & Thrift store interior | Original photo

Before leaving the shop, I actually sparked up a conversation with the store’s cashier, asking her about her experience working in Pilsen and her general thoughts about the area. She shared many stories of her early life growing up in Pilsen, but when discussing the state of the current day area she concluded gentrification was definitely happening, as she shared “my rent has almost doubled in the last year with all the newer businesses taking over previously family-owned ones” (she requested not to be named for the sake of this post). From my observations following my trip, I could see that neighborhood is known for being a cultural hub, both in its historical roots and today as well. With the neighborhood’s high frequency in the arts and culture, this opens up a large fiscal opportunity for businesses to capitalize on the neighborhood driving out native residents and family businesses replacing them with ones accommodating more toward middle-class customers and residents. This can best be understood through the context of Pilsen’s perceivably profitable identity, one that “market initiatives [are] now employed to ‘renew’ such neighborhoods [as] Pilsen itself can be packaged and sold as a site of culture” (Saclarides, 2009). Off first glance, the area just seems to be “balanced” in terms of offering both family-owned, culturally significant business and “affluent” style businesses or popular corporations, but when observing this through the lens of gentrification, I can’t help but wonder how native residents feel about the changes in the community. Ultimately, while some may view this act of cultural commodification as a “beautification” of the city neighborhood, these driving forces of increasing consumerism and tourism tend to leave residents of ethnic neighborhoods feeling intruded on or out of place; as consumption and commerce don’t tend to follow with compassion and cultural preservation (Saclarides, 2009). Pilsen has come far from what once was viewed as an “overcrowded, decaying site of contagious social pathology, often [once] tagged as ‘ghettos’, ‘slums’ or ‘barrios’”, and continuing this development of the neighborhood needs to include the resident’s cultural values while still pushing for advancement (Saclarides, 2009).

Flyer advertising a protest, advocating for children in border detention centers. Found at the register/check out area of Pilsen Village & Thrift. | Original photo

Ultimately, I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Pilsen, and hope to return to the area soon. While my one regret on this trip was not stopping for lunch, I still felt immersed in the culturally rich neighborhood, leaving with a new perspective on one of the many communities Chicago offers. I enjoyed reminiscing on aspects similar to my own hometown and particularly took great interest in the vibrant street art. With all this being said, for any of you even considering visiting the neighborhood: 100% go for it! Pilsen offered me a new perspective on cultural expression and community and left me ready to plan for my next trip back (and start practicing my Spanish again!).

Mural of Mexican painter Frida Kahlo, an important figure in Latinx culture. One of my favorite artists and favorite murals I saw. | Original photo

Sources:

La Sirena. Mexican Figuritas. Loteria postcard. The Mermaid. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.changingworld.com/la-sirena-mexican-figuritas-loteria-postcard-the-mermaid.html.html.

Mitchell, C. (2019, May 1). The birth of a Latino community. Retrieved from https://www.wbez.org/shows/wbez-news/swept-from-their-homes-chicagos-latinos-built-new-community/331fcc5d-be0b-4b20-be9f-245a562a9310.

Race and Ethnicity in Pilsen, Chicago, Illinois (Neighborhood). (n.d.). Retrieved October 17, 2019, from https://statisticalatlas.com/neighborhood/Illinois/Chicago/Pilsen/Race-and-Ethnicity.

Reyes, R. A. (2016, December 12). Our Lady of Guadalupe Is a Powerful Symbol of Mexican Identity. Retrieved from https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/our-lady-guadalupe-powerful-symbol-mexican-identity-n694216.

Saclarides, K. (2009). Selling Chicago as a Global City: Redevelopment and Ethnic Neighborhoods. On University of Chicago - SSA: Advocates' Forum.

Villegas, T. (n.d.). History of La Loteria. Retrieved October 17, 2019, from https://teresavillegas.com/history-of-la-loteria/.

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armeniaitn · 4 years

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Armenia Society News Digest for Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Here is the Daily Digest of society news for Armenia for Wednesday, August 19, 2020. The notable articles are the following:

What Makes You Armenian?

Nicholas Krikorian (center) with ANCA Leo Sarkisian Intern Angelika Avagian and ANCA Maral Melkonian Avetisyan Intern Tatevik Khachatryan during a visit to Capitol Hill.

BY NICHOLAS KRIKORIAN

About two months ago, I entered my first online call for the 2020 Armenian National Committee of America Leo Sarkisian. I was already having destructive thoughts that I didn’t deserve this opportunity because I wasn’t Armenian enough. I was unknowledgeable about the Armenian Cause, greater Armenian history, Armenian culture, and had essentially distanced myself from most things Armenian. Being repeatedly taught about the Genocide and religion during my childhood never seemed to help me understand what being Armenian truly meant to me — they just seemed like regular school lessons. However, through befriending Armenians throughout the diaspora, fighting for the Armenian Cause alongside them, and learning more about myself, I discovered how to interpret and appreciate the Armenian part of my identity.

Armenians tend to hold a sort of unspoken hierarchy; whether we speak the language, if we go to church, who we surround ourselves with- these all seem to be determining factors as to how “Armenian” we are. This problematic nature got in the way of me fully identifying with my Armenian heritage, as many things about me don’t align with what a perfect Armenian looked like in my mind. I’ve never liked Armenian music, nor do I have an affinity for the food. The biggest hit was when I discovered that I identify as Agnostic, while the rest of my family and Armenian community is Christian. With this rejection of the religion that Armenians so proudly boast about being the first to become, I jokingly deemed myself the “Armenian disappointment.” My biggest mistake was amounting my alignment with my heritage and ancestors based on if I believed in God or not, as it made me keep this self-discovery a secret from my family for years.

Why should it matter if you can speak Armenian or not? Or if you go to church and pray like all the other Armenians around you? If you’re an Armenian, you’re an Armenian, and no outside factors can ever change that.

So, this is the conclusion that I had come up with midway through my internship. While it did bring me a solid amount of solace, it still wasn’t enough for me to be happy. Saying I was Armenian accomplished nothing, it was just a word. What happened later was what opened my eyes to a brand new ideology.

In what seemed like an instant, Azerbaijan attacked Armenia, and that turned the calm internship into a fast-paced news cycle where tasks had to be finished quickly to keep up with the endless stream of events and information. For my whole life, I never learned more about Artsakh past its name and location. With this latest aggression, I had the opportunity to research and learn more Armenian history that strayed away from the Genocide, and I found joy in learning so much about my ancestors.

Days into the Azerbaijani bombing, some of my intern friends began saying things like “I’m so mad I haven’t been able to think about anything else” or “I cried about everything last night.” They all had a unity with all of Armenia that I had to grasp, as I didn’t find myself having any emotional reaction to everything happening.

Fortunately, more and more protests started happening around the world, demanding and to President Aliyev’s attacks and U.S. aid to Armenia and Artsakh. Seeing clips of fellow Armenians shouting and chanting and dancing all for one Cause got me riled up as well, and I began to send barrages of information to my non-Armenian friends in an attempt to educate and spread awareness. For the first time in my life, I actively sought out Armenian news and information for myself and was genuinely angry when I couldn’t attend a DC protest due to coronavirus concerns.

Since I wasn’t able to help the cause in that manner, I suggested to the ANCA intern team that we try to start a movement on social media to educate non-Armenians, similar to the way the Blacks Lives Matter movement spread. This was when we banded together to create a Carrd website to have all the necessary sources, petition links, and donation links to spread awareness and gather support from both Armenians and non-Armenians. This experience of influencing the Cause seemed to trigger some sort of change in me that I hadn’t yet recognized.

Finally, one of my intern friends sent me a live-stream of one of the larger protests on one random day, and I was enthralled. I couldn’t take my eyes off all the Armenian people, with all different lifestyles and identities, coming together to fight for our country- and this is when I cried. I realized what being Armenian meant to me – fighting for our Cause. Having a community without judgment that collaborated to achieve the aid we needed for our home country. None of that had anything to do with music or religion, if I went to bazaars or ate ethnic foods. It was what made me feel Armenian. It was what helped me go from rejecting this part of myself to exploring it and being happy to call myself an Armenian.

This is why I hope all Armenian people who feel similar to the way I felt before this internship are able to find what part of their Armenian heritage makes them comfortable in their own identities. It could come in the form of Armenian song and dance, foods, religion, friends and community, pursuing the Armenian Cause (Hai Tahd), or anything else to be individually discovered. That’s why I want to ask you: what makes you Armenian?

Nicholas Krikorian is a senior at the A. Edison High School in Alexandria, Va. and a 2020 ANCA Summer High School Intern.

Read original article here.

Turkish mountaineers turn slopes of Mount Ararat into landfill

Turkish mountaineers have turned the slopes of Mount Ararat into a landfill, Ermenihaber.am reports.

The leftovers from the food they took with them during the mountaineering were dumped in a tent camp at an altitude of 4,200 meters above sea level.

One of the Turkish mountaineers made a video and posted the footage on social media.

“If climbers are doing this, then we are in trouble. Which municipality can collect this,” he says in comments.

[embedded content]

Read original article here.

Armenia: About 300 Covid-19 patients in serious or critical condition

August 18, 2020 – 16:22 AMT

PanARMENIAN.Net – The coronavirus infection rate in Armenia is declining but some 300 patients remain in a serious or critical condition, Health Ministry spokeswoman Alina Nikoghosyan said Tuesday, August 18.

Nikoghosyan said people’s following of three simple anti-epidemic rules – wearing a mask, frequent disinfection of hands and social distancing – are bearing fruit.

“The number of deaths are stable, with 8-9 patients dying every day due to the fact that 300 people are in a serious or critical condition,” RFE/RL Armenian Service cited Nikoghosyan as saying on Tuesday.

15 hospitals converted into Covid-19 treatment centers have already returned to normal activity in the country.

The number of confirmed coronavirus cases in Armenia grew by 145 to reach 41,846 on Tuesday, August 18. So far, 34,982 people have recovered, 832 have died from the coronavirus in the country, while 245 others carrying the virus have died from other causes.

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Today on Twitter

These are some of the tweets about Armenia from some of the Twitter accounts we follow. Get in touch with us via Twitter if you want to be part of this Twitter list. We retweet occasionally.

Armenia @armenia·

20h

Things you can watch #forever...Btw the #water in #Pambak river is pure enough to drink . #NaturePhotography : Vahe Aghamyan

MFA of Armenia@MFAofArmenia·

17 Aug

Warm congratulations to the people of the Republic of #Indonesia on #IndependenceDay. Ready to reinvigorate our historic ties.

Armenia Mission to UN@ArmeniaUN·

13 Aug

Permanent Representative of Armenia sends a letter to the UN Secretary-General condemning instigation of inter-ethnic clashes and violence against the Armenian communities in various parts of the world. Addressing #hatespeech is crucial for advancing the #prevention agenda.

JAMnews@JAMnewsCaucasus·

17h

The series of firings, dismissals and imprisonments of officials continues in #Azerbaijan: https://ift.tt/3230vPP

MoD of Armenia @ArmeniaMODTeam·

10 Aug

The #Armenian contingent carrying out a #peacekeeping_mission in #Kosovo, fulfilling it's tasks, handed over the shift to the new group of Armenian #peacekeepers.The superior command assessed the Armenian peacekeepers' professional abilities and service. #ArmenianArmy #Security

Artsakh Parliament@Artsakh_Parl·

12 Aug

The law «On Making Amendments to the Law “On the State Budget '20 of the #Artsakh Republic"» was adopted with 26 votes in favor & 6 against. The SB revenues will make 126bln 49mln 399.2th AMD, expenditures-135bln 650mln 717.7th AMD, the deficit-9bln 601mln 318.5th.

AOMF@AOMFrancophonie·

7 Aug

[Arménie ] @OmbudsArmenia a reçu 794 plaintes concernant les actions relatives à l’impact économique de #Covid_19 https://ift.tt/34eRHt4

USC Armenian Studies@ArmenianStudies·

Following the developments in Lebanon? Tune in tomorrow morning for this illuminating panel organized by @ArmenStudies & @NAASR1955. Zoom registration details: https://bit.ly/lebanonwebinar

ArtsakhPress Agency@ArtsakhPress·

12 Aug

Number of Divorces Reduced in #Artsakh https://ift.tt/3hbuj3c

Artsakh MFA@mfankr·

17 Aug

The President of the Republic of #Artsakh Arayik Harutyunian (@Pres_Artsakh) has signed a decree on coordinating the activities of the state administration bodies of the Republic in conducting a common foreign policy. Read the full text here: https://bit.ly/3aw5Bb7

Published February 15, 2020 at 01:41PM. Read full article at Stem Cells in the News Portal.

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