#so i sat w others Less close friends. but then they walked thru the door.

[kaoharu]

humiliating hellooo

[ranger-jedi-knight]

A New Hero Chap 14

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887313/chapters/59619589 Taglist: ASK AND YOU SHALL BE PUT ON~~!!!!

Ok, so here’s the next chap! Sorry about the wait, life got....interesting to say the least. At long last tho, we have Mari n Co heading to Gotham finally! Cant wait for the small reunion later this chap!! I FORGOT THE TWEETS AGAIN DAMNIT!!!!!! I am SOOOO sorry i WILL remember to keep addin them on at the ends!!!

“Your brother wants me and Lana to what?” Alya asked looking over at Dick tired.

“Stay put. Easy!” Dick replied and Alya glared at him.

“Uh, huh. He wants, me a Detective to not leave the precinct, and Lana, a college student to not move even tho she has cleanses to go to?” she repeated and Dick pressed his lips together.

“Ok, when you put it like that-” he started but got cut off by Alya putting her hand over Dick’s.

“Damian isn’t even here. Why does he care what we do since your his brother who should get his butt over to the airport since his flight should be landing in 20 or so minutes and its already 9:50. Get your ass over to that airport to give your brother a hug,” Alya said glaring and Dick yelped. “Ya, give a call when your getting back since well, you’ll see,” she said gripping his shirt and pulling him close and DIck swallowed the lump in his throat, “that Babs ain’t the only one to kick your ass into shape.”

A smirk grew on Dick’s face at that. “Is that a promise?” he teased and Alya scoffed pushing him back.

“You had your chance buddy. Now get outta here before I make you regret being late to seeing Damian arrive,” she said and Dick gave a mock salute before scurrying off, grabbing his keys as he ran while their fellow cops laugh around them.

“Did he really have a chance?” A British African American FBI agent asked as he watched Dick leave, his accent still going strong even tho he’s been in New Jersey for the last 5 years.

“Eh, possibly, Xavier. I do have eyes you know,” she said and Xavier snorted as he straightened his stack of papers. “Once maybe, until you realize he’ll only have eyes for Babs,” she continued and Xavier nodded.

“You’ll find love, I’m sure of it. If Shrek can find love as an Ogre, so can you,” Xavier said and Alya made a fake offended sound in response.

“Are you saying I look like an Ogre?” she asked and Xavier raised his hands in defense. “Not at all!” he said and some people hummed at that.

“It really sounded like it~!” the precincts secretary, Mira, hummed out with a smirk and Xavier glared over at her.

“Don’t anger the Goddess! She’ll rain down on you the wrath of almighty Zeus himself!” a different cop, Sarah she thought, shouted causing Alya to snort.

“I ain’t no Goddess, silly!” she shouted over to them. The cop in question, it was Sarah she can recognize that golden blonde ponytail anywhere, stuck her head out the break room with a look.

“No, you are a Goddess. Especially in that flowing dress, you wore for the Halloween party Dick threw,” she called and Alya rolled her eyes as some nodded agreement.

“You guys are ridiculous, get back to work,” she called and that had everyone nodding agreement while Alya chuckled to herself as she went to her desk. Xavier followed and leaned against the desk with his hip.

“Sticking a pin in that ‘Is Alya Grayson a Goddess or Not’ conversation,” he said chuckling softly, “I do hope whatever it is Dick’s brother has planned for you is nice,” he said and Alya smiled at him while nodding slowly.

“So do I. Now, isn’t Agent Fornell waiting for those documents your holding?” she asked and Xavier nodded with a smile.

“That he is. Talk to you later then. Goodbye!” he said beaming as he walked backward, waving to everyone who returned it before he left the precinct.

Alya shook her head as she pulled her phone out and texted Lana: Als: Heads up, Damian apparently wants you and I to stay put where we r

Eagle-eye: whys that???? We rnt the closest

Als: who knows. Dick was just sending the message. idk, maybe Mari wants to hug us when she arrives?

Eagle-eye: maybe. I dont got time to theorize, got a test to do

Als: GL!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mari was bouncing between Damian and Xander as they boarded the plane finally after waiting for so long. They had to deal with morning traffic which took forever it felt like before they arrived an hour and a half arrive before their flight left making sure they didn’t have to worry about security taking forever. And the whole time Mari stared at the desk with her leg bouncing.

With 30 minutes to spare, Ms. Bustier arrived, the last one too. The other students had converged in the gate slowly at different times but with enough time to not worry. But Ms. Bustier arrived with less than 30 minutes to spare causing her class to worry.

Which to say the least?

Was awkward.

Alya and the others that didn’t know sat at one side of the gate looking at Mari and the people that knew awkwardly. They felt bad but knew they messed up.

BIG time.

Like MEGA BIG TIME that a simple apology wouldn’t work. It didn’t help that Mari’s friends didn’t let them thru. Kim, Nino, Chloe, Sabrina, Max, Lila, Xan, and Adrien all glared at them while Damian focused on Mari. Meanwhile, Alya, Alix, Mylene, Ivan, and Rose all tried figuring out what they could do to earn favor back from Mari. Juleka was the only one in the pure neutral middle ground. She skimmed the email and knew a movie was being filmed.

But didn’t know Lila was lying for sure.

She could guess. When Mari tried saying that and the disagreed she figured she’d stay quiet. She didn’t need anyone else trying to make her life hell. So Mari was neutral toward the girl as she hasn’t been present at that moment. So she was silently supporting the group and offering tidbits to help them realize that they need to change themselves before trying to regain Mari’s trust and friendship.

Only Time Will Tell.

They boarded the plane and sat back for the long flight. Most of them slept during the trip. Mari and Lila included. The two leaned against each other while Xan and Damian talked. Well, Damian talked. Which was odd. But it distracted Xan from the anxiety pooling in his gut as they flew.

After some time, and some crackers, the dread settled down. Damian told him everything that’s happened in Gotham since he left. Some he didn’t like hearing. But as Damian reminded him, everything was ok. No one is hurt.

Soon after Damian finished, Mari and Lila woke up. Lila smiled as she and Damian switched seats and she took Xan’s hand into hers. “It’ll be fine. They’re going to be so happy to see you,” she said quietly and Xan nodded.

“Even knowing what happened?” he asked and Lila hummed, tracing a finger along the back of his hand in nonsensical patterns.

“Ya, I think so. I think that they’re just going to be so happy that you survived everything and came back to them. From what it sounds like, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here today,” Lila whispered leaning her head against his shoulder. In return, Xan lightly leaned his head against her head with a sigh.

“Ya, that’s what Damian said too. I know it’s true, but my head just keeps pushing all these doubts,” he mumbled.

“That’s fair. It’s been 8 years since you’ve seen them. Lana watched you get hit. And then, seemingly right before her eyes, you disappear. People change with time. But, those bonds? They don’t typically change. I bet they still miss you as if it was just yesterday,” she replied and Xan nodded slowly, placing his other hand over their hands, squeezing her hands.

“Thank you,” he whispered as they relaxed in their seats and played a movie for the rest of the flight.

“I hope they enjoy the surprise,” Mari whispered and Damian gave a small nod at that.

“I have no doubt that they’ll love it,” he said and Mari smiled softly at that.

“Ya, and they have you to thank for that,” she said and Damian gave a shrug.

“You did most of the work and helped him get better,” he pointed out and Mari smiled as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, a faint blush on her cheeks from doing that, not seeing Damian’s faint blush either.

“Well, I wouldn’t have been able to help if you hadn’t helped him escape. You may not have stayed, but you certainly did help,” she said softly and Damian nodded slowly at that. He remembered it clearly. Even tho it happened over a year ago, it was clear to him.

Damian had turned the GPS off the batjet and flew to Nanda Parbat. He remembered the boy that his mother kidnapped and brought back to life. He remembered training with him a couple of times to let him know he wouldn’t tolerate anything but perfection. He didn’t know what happened to the boy older than him when he left. But then he learned and regretted everything.

Xander was the little brother to Dick’s partner Alya who disappeared. He learned from Issi that Xan, or better known as Whisper in the League, was alive still and there. She had wanted to help get him out since she helped care for him, but she couldn’t without getting caught or killed for real. But now he’d fix the mistake he made.

It was quite easy to sneak into the building. He made his way to where he remembered his bedroom was. He knocked out any guard he saw and pounded on the door. Xan was wearing his training gear when he opened the door. He didn’t recognize Damian as the angry 9-year-old that beat him up when he first arrived. He was wearing all black with a hood and mask on to hide his identity. “W-who are you?” Xan asked suspiciously as he picked up the sword he kept next to the door.

“Do you want to stay here?” Damian asked and Xan looked at him confused.

“Wha-?”

“Do you want to stay here or escape? I can get you out,” he said and Xan glanced around before nodding slowly.

“I want to go back home,” he said and Damian nodded as he then started tugging Xan out. Damian was shocked he was still able to recognize Xan after all this time and all the changes. He wasn’t the same short, scrawny 11-year-old. He had filled out and was taller than Damian by quite a few inches.

“I’ll get you home then,” he said leading them out. As they ran out in the snow, Damian was behind Xan making sure he didn’t get hit. Which was a miracle in the storm, slipping on hidden ice as they ran. But he had been. So the best bet was to get him to Mari and Fu who would help him heal. So when he reached the outskirts of Paris, he cloaked and flew to an alley near the fight and helped Xan out. “This is as far as I can get you. I’m sorry,” he whispered as Xan gripped his head falling to the ground with his backed pressed to the wall.

“I just wish I could have brought him home all the way,” he whispered and Mari took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

“You did what you could, Dami. He was hurt and needed help. If he had been taken directly to Gotham, who knows what would have happened,” she argued and Damian nodded slowly.

“Yes, I know. I just....when he recognized me when I saw the tat on his back. I....I wasn’t prepared to see the tat on his back and I forgot he was there still. So much happened since I got him out, I forgot he was with you. And he didn’t remember me helping him out. And I told him and he was happy. Even thou I didn’t get him out safely, he was happy,” he said at length and Mari once more squeezed his hand. “Well, that’s probably because he knew you did your best. You went back to get him out of that place unprompted. You could have left him there, but you didn’t. You got him out with only a head injury that made everything fuzzy. Give yourself credit, Dami,” Mari said and Damian gave her a small smile at the end of her little speech.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Mari beamed at him.

After some time, the plane landed and they went thru the sequence to leave. Mari smiled as she watched Dick hug Damian with his brothers behind him smirking at his mock displeasure. When Xan appeared talking to Lila, the entire Wayne Family froze in shock. “Y-you-!” Jason started shocked.

“Xander?” Dick asked, a heartbroken tone in his voice. Xan froze where he was and looked up at the family. He didn’t seem to be breathing as he nodded slowly. “Your alive,” he breathed out before making his way over and setting his hands on Xan’s shoulders. Dick started looking him over while the other two made their way over. He then pulled Xan in for a bone-crushing hug causing a surprise sound to leave Xan. “I’m so glad your alive,” he continued.

“Man, this is your surprise, Pixiepop?” Jason asked and Mari nodded with a smile. “They’re going to love it,” he said messing up both Xan’s and Mari’s hair.

“I hope so,” Mari said and Tim gave Mari a reassuring look.

“Mari, they are going to love this. Dont doubt yourself, you’ll see,” Tim said as the rest of the class left the plane.

“You got him?” Mari asked and the boys nodded as they followed everyone to baggage claim.

“Ya, just meet us at the precinct in 20 minutes. I wouldn’t want you to miss the surprise,” Dick replied and Mari smiled with a nod.

Mari-aculous @MDC_Designs The BIG SURPRISE is in 20 minutes~!! Cant wait to see their faces!!! #soexcited #sosoon #almostthere #surprises Dick @ FlyingGrayson Theyre going to LOVE it! Be prepared for lots of hugs Mari!!!

Ok, so here it is!!! The next chap!!! So this was takin while to push out that I decided I wanted to give the reunion scene a proper thing by giving it its own chap. Next chap we will see the Grayson Reunion!!!!! I cant wait for you guys to see it!!! until next time!! ~Love Willa<3<3<3

[squiddybeifong]

Trek to Themyscira, Ch. 1

Look who’s actually goin thru w/ one of my tags and it’s on ao3 here!

--

He was waiting for her at the entrance’s steps when her carriage rolled up.

Raven handed Victor the rest of her notes, murmuring to him to await for her in the library. Her closest friend nodded once and went up to speak to the driver. Victor winked at her and mouthed a ‘good luck’ before the driver snapped the reins and the two men were off, headed closer to the center of Gotham.

The city’s most affluent member opened his arms as her attention went to him, “Ah, Miss Roth, glad to see you’ve arrived well.” Raven kept her back straight as she walked up to Bruce, trying to keep her face as calm as possible. Still, a soft smile lightened her face at the sight of the man who’d been so kind to her in the past.

She held out her hand and spoke as he kissed her skin, “It’s wonderful to see you again as well, Mr. Wayne.”

The businessman glanced at the departing carriage, “Victor won’t be joining us today?”

“Unless your letter was needlessly optimistic, we figured that our talents would be best utilized getting all the extra information possible,” Raven raised her head but he merely held out a hand and began to walk; she followed alongside him as they made their way into Wayne University’s halls. Her gray gaze flicked to the thin marks on his hand, just barely peeking out past his sleeves and Raven languidly guessed, “I take it Damian and Mrs. Selina are still fond of cats?”

A quiet laugh escaped him and his sapphire eyes shot down to her. Raven knew it was a rare sight for one to see the Bruce Wayne look so amused, “You’ve never been one for small talk, Raven. You must be nervous.”

“I am,” She shrugged, reaching up to re-adjust some of the pins in her hair. The zoologist bit the inside of her cheek, “This is a huge opportunity you’re supposedly open to funding, Sir.”

“No more expensive than my other expeditions.”

“But you’re particular on keeping this one small? There’s obviously a plan that neither Victor nor myself have been made privy to--”

“Yet,” Bruce interjected.

“Yet,” Raven hummed in agreement. She ran a tongue over her teeth, “I have been close to your children for years now, Mr. Wayne. You’re not the kind of man to keep secrets like this unless you’re expecting an argument.”

His broad shoulders shook, “You spend time far too much time with Richard.”

She clicked her tongue, “I’m not hearing any disagreement.”

“Apologizes. It’s obviously Jason whose been influencing you.”

Gray eyes merely stared at him for a moment. Nodding once, Raven looked forward again, scanning the route that they were taking. She would have guessed his office as their destination, but they were going the wrong direction. A hand came up to press her glasses more firmly atop her nose, “Is it correct to assume I’ll find out within the hour?”

A sigh escaped her as they turned another corner, the cracked door halfway down the hall her hint. Bruce touched her shoulder, “At least give the idea a chance, Miss Roth. Think of your future before making any decisions.”

“Not ‘Raven’ this time?” Another sigh, this one deeper but quieter. He let her simmer as she obviously realized why he went out of his way to greet her and opened the door. Calm and professional as ever, he strolled to his desk and sat, opening the bottom drawer as he ignored the indignant tension in front of him.

Raven fought the urge to pinch between her eyes. The venom was obvious in her voice as she addressed the absolute bane of her professional existence, “Zatara.”

In terms of stoicism, the older woman wasn’t doing much better. The anthropologist folded her hands in her lap and sneered back at her, “Roth.”

Bruce’s voice cut through the air like a knife, plain and no-nonsense, “Themyscira.”

Both women turned to him. He motioned to the empty seat, raising a brow at the youngest. Raven closed her eyes and, after a beat, shut the door behind her. She didn’t acknowledge Zatanna as she sat, crossing her legs as she met the man’s gaze.

The young woman ran a tongue over her teeth, “As far as I’m aware, practically all historians agree that Themyscira is lost to time.”

Her tone was full of questions and the Wayne laced his fingers atop the table. The gold of his wedding ring and the onyx of his bat shaped cufflinks gleamed in the light. That very same light was angled by the curtains, falling in the room to shadow his face, “Ladies, I know of your less than stellar history, but this trip is dependant on your working together.”

He forged on before they could even think of a question, “There will be approximately 75 people on this trip and 71 of which are relegated to crew.”

Zatanna raised up, alarmed at the prospect of working with Raven and at the sheer numbers they would be limited to, “Mr. Wa--”

Bruce cut her words off, “I’m under the assumption Mr. Constantine shall be Miss Zatara’s aide and Mr. Stone will do the same for you, Miss Roth?”

At the young lady’s nod his sapphire eyes stared into Zatanna’s, pointed and serious, “This trip will be an introductory session. You, Zatanna, are to focus on finding evidence of Themyscira’s culture and Raven will focus on evidence of the animals they kept.”

He pulled out the papers from that drawer, laying them out on the broad space of his desk. Both women peered at the pages, their eyes widening at the notes and sketches that graced them. Bruce let out a sigh, “A century and a half isn’t much time, and with these records that Kent has sent there’s bound to be plenty of ruins.”

Raven didn’t look up from the page as Bruce stood, but Zatanna did. The tension in her shoulders lessened as the Gothamite plucked his globe from the cabinets, pointing to a pin that marked Greece. Bruce met the anthropologist’s stare, “Clark is still in China, but some fishermen described experiences they’d heard of on the Silk Road. Hearing human voices over the fog near the area, clouds that may have been smoke, even carved splinters of wood that have washed up on Greece’s shores.”

Zatanna’s brows furrowed, “And they’re all consistent?”

“They must be,” Raven hummed as she inserted herself into their conversation, her fingers delicately tracing the sketches of goat skeletons near a paper’s center. The zoologist’s eyes were bright and her breath hushed, “These animals aren’t being used in the typical ways that husbandry dictates. And over here!”

She moved to where Clark had jotted a pole held up against a tree, “This isn’t the correct shape for any European shepherding tools used in the past century. From what I understand from Victor’s field, this may be a spear. Or even textured rope--”

Zatanna cut her off, “Isn’t all rope textured?”

Raven ignored the undercurrent of condescension, “The average rope a citizen may get their hands on, the rope a farmer may use to steady his oxen, the rope a sailor uses to tie his knots and the rope soldiers use to lock their cannonballs are all different, Zatara.” Her lips pursed as she noted that the rope’s twists weren’t consistent throughout one page, let alone all twelve, but she paid it no mind.

She’d find out soon enough. Standing straight, Raven looked into Bruce’s face, “They’re braided in different ways and the pattern strengthens it. I’d have to get Victor’s opinion, but these could be enough to suggest weaponry along with their husbandry.”

Her eyes flicked to Zatanna and then Bruce again, “Mr. Wayne, I have to find out more. And as soon as Victor sees these so will he.”

Zatanna crossed her arms, drumming her fingers along her sleeves as she considered the option put in front of her. Navy eyes flicked to the businessman, “And just who will be leading this expedition?”

“It’ll be dual-led.” Bruce motioned to them both, “Depending on how much you find the time spent leading may be lopsided, but I’m putting aside enough supplies for a three-month trip.”

Raven’s eyes closed at the news and Zatanna rolled her jaw, “Any particular reason why my accompanying zoologist must be her; surely there’s someone else more qualified than a child?”

That got a reaction from the man. He stood to his full height, the shadows cloaking him as he reminded them, “I’ve sponsored you both for a reason. You two are the best in your fields, whether or not the rest of academia disregards your ideas. Miss Roth is young but she is far more talented and nowhere near as corrupt as the heads of the rest of this country’s universities.”

The room was quiet as he took a breath then Bruce gave them a pointed look, “I know you two have not done so yet, but you will do great work together. Now, Constantine and Stone can find any sign of flora and technology that Themyscira utilized, but for this first trip their main priority is to help you two get as much as possible, understood?”

Raven glanced at Zatanna from the corner of her eye. Their eyes met and Zatanna begrudgingly held out her hand. The anthropologist kept her face blank as she decided to be the adult (and not simply because of their difference in ages), “Truce?”

Raven licked her lips and shook Zatanna’s hand, “We’re gonna play nice for Themyscira, then?”

The animosity was still there as they stared at each other, but it was diluted with her words. The memories of their brief interactions were strong as ever; times where they had fought for recognition in their fields, the slight commiseration when their colleagues looked down their noses at the two women who had ‘so brazenly infiltrated the boys’ club of academia, almost as bad as that Gordon girl,’ the terse conversations whenever they were stuck with one another at the Wayne galas, their first introduction and the bloom of quickly-squashed happiness of Raven believing she’d have a mentor and Zatanna thinking she’d have a protege.

They’d gotten along that first day, up until reality of competition had slapped them in the face.

But perhaps Bruce was right. Both had achieved so much while ignoring their respective field’s infighting and their own rivalry, who’s to say they couldn’t accomplish even more together?

Raven let out a chuckle and turned to the sketches again. Gray eyes flicked up to the man whose family she could claim as her own and she grinned, finally letting her excitement show, “When are we leaving?”

[film-in-my-soul]

Repeat After Me - Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris

Pairing: Bill Denbrough/Stan Uris

Word Count: 2052

Warnings: Slight bullying, Anxiety attack

Request: Anon: Stenbrough fic request - Bill is extremely stressed out and his stutter is really bad and he gets made fun of about it, upsetting him so Stan comforts him and crying + cuddles ensue. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill had starting to really hate highschool. It wasn’t the fact that the work was harder, no, he could cope with that, or even that the teachers were harder to work with. What Bill really hated, more than anything, were the oral exams.

Fucking. Oral. Exams.

While his stutter had gotten better, much, much better from when he was a child, it still wasn’t gone. It especially wasn’t gone when he had to stand up in front of a group of twenty-five other teenagers and give an oral presentation on the Civil War. Especially when none of his friends were in his social studies class. Not one Loser in sight for him to focus on and calm down.

The whole experience was made worse by the fact that Greta Bowie had been there, mocking him from the back of the class the entire time. Since Henry Bowers’ “disappearance,” she had taken her “rightful” place on the throne of torment.

Bill had made it through less than half of his presentation, frustrated unshed tears glossing his eyes over, fists clenched by his sides when the teacher Mrs. Jackson had placed a hand on his shoulder and told him to sit down.

It was completely mortifying but Bill would be caught dead before he was caught crying in the middle of class.

He could still hear Greta behind him giggling to herself and her friends, the feeling of her gaze had stuck on the back of Bill’s neck, causing it to flush hot in further embarrassment. Bill was more than grateful that Social Studies was his last class of the day. When the bell rang he practically sprinted from his seat toward his locker, fingers trembling still as he tried to twist the combination of his lock.

The other Losers would be there soon, often meeting up at Bill’s locker before heading out toward the bike racks and Billy really didn’t want them to see him like he was.

A shove at his shoulders had him stumbling forward, barely having enough time to catch himself from face-planting into the unforgiving metal of the locker. Bill turned, it was Greta, her group of three flocking around her like some kind of swarm of bees, she was chewing gum obnoxiously and smirking, gaze predatory as she took Bill’s form in.

She had a wicked glint in her eyes and took a single step closer, right into Bill’s space, forcing him to step back, the jutting metal of his locker dug painfully into his side.

“N-n-n-nice pre-pre-presentation B-b-b-b-billy bo-boy.” the mock stutter made Bill color hot in his cheeks, eyes cast down in shame as Greta barked out a laugh. She shoved him once more and then saunter off to go torture some other soul.

Usually, Bill was good at handling the teasing, he was used to it, had been since he was five and realized that the way he talked wasn’t exactly correct. But with all that was going on, the oral report, the stress of classes and not having enough time to decompress with his friends had made everything seem more raw. A wound he couldn't keep closed. It didn’t help that when he’d been practicing the night before his mother had given him “the look,” the one that without a doubt said she was disappointed with his progress and the continuation of his stutter.

It was enough to send anyone into an anxious fit.

Bill turned and practically yanked the lock off his locker to get it open and shut as quickly as possible.

He couldn’t be around anyone right now, not even his friends, not when he was about to have some kind of breakdown in the middle of the packed highschool hallway. He turned to exit out of one of the many school doors and even though he saw Eddie approaching from down the hall Bill left quickly.

By the time he was on his bike and halfway home the frustration was still there, itching under his skin, pounding against his ribcage, making his eyes sting as he peddled harder, trying to work out the twisting in his gut so he could return to some kind of normal.

It wasn’t helping.

He made it home in record time, his lungs screaming for air, calves burning and eyes clouding over. Neither of his parents were home. He wasn’t surprised, they were almost never home anymore, not after everything that had happened with Georgie, even Bill had trouble walking past the front door some days.

Even in the state that he was in Bill took his time propping Silver up against the side of his house, locking up his beloved bike before hurrying inside. He slammed the front door behind him, the dull bang echoing as he took the stairs up to his room two at a time.

He made no time to close the door behind him, not with all the frustration and embarrassment and loathing still bubbling up under his skin and radiating off him in the form of cold sweat. Bill unceremoniously dropped to the floor in front of his bed, knees pulling up to his chest, back against the boxspring as he clutched his legs.

Bill sat like that for a long time, at least it felt like that, an eternity of silent tears pooling in his eyes and falling off his lashes as the boy stared across from him at nothing, just turning over Greta’s words, the teachers caring condescension, and his stupid fucking frustrating stutter.

Bill swallowed thickly, angry determination reared its head as he blinked and took a breath, wiping his eyes until they were dry and stinging, red with irritation.

“H-h-he t-th-th-th-thru-s-s-s -” Bill shook his head and clenched his fists hard, still clutched around his legs. “H-he th-th-thrus-s-s-s-thrusts hi-his f-f-f-fis-s-s-s- fuck!”

Bill felt the hot coil of shame build again as he pressed his forehead to his knees and screwed his eyes shut. Another round of tears began to build just behind his eyelids.

He didn’t realize anyone was in his room, his home even, until there was a slim-fingered hand resting on his shoulder.

Billy jerked his head up, green eyes meeting brown. Stan was kneeling in front of him, expression soft but concerned. A long moment of silence passed between them when finally Stan’s fingers curled gently around Bill’s back and pulled him forward into a slightly uncomfortable hug. Bill unfolded his body the best he could so he could draw closer to Stan’s warmth.

A cold wetness pooled on Stan’s half exposed throat, the collar stretching down while Bill clutched at him, head shoved into the curve between Stan’s neck and shoulder as he cried. Stan was firm with his embrace, holding Bill through his shaking.

They stayed like that for a long while, until Stan’s knees hurt from kneeling and Bill seemed to have cried himself out as best he could. Stan didn’t ask why or comment, he hadn’t spoken at all since he’d appeared.

Bill pulled away from his friend, arguably his best friend (in Bill’s mind much more than either of those things).

Stan still wore the same expression, ready at a moment's notice to pull Billy back into his chest if further comfort should be needed.

“I-I-I cuh-cuh-cuh-couldn’t… I -” Bill grew frustrated at himself again, the words tangling up on his tongue, refusing to come out for him, his head fell forward as he grimaced. Stan moved his hand from Bill’s shoulder to his cheek, the other going to join it on the other side of Bill’s face to pull their gazes back together.

Bill was flushed in the cheeks, his eyes lined red and his lips were bitten to the point of looking painfully pink. Stan kept their eyes locked together.

“Repeat after me,” he said softly, refusing to let Bill’s head sink back down in shame. He waited until Bill blinked and nodded slowly in his hands. “I.”

“I-I.” Stan bobbed his head in approval, a small smile curling up the corners of his mouth.

“Am.”

“A-a-am.”

“Okay.”

“Oh-oh-k-kay.”

“Again,” Stan made a careful show of taking in a large breath. “I. Am. Okay.”

Bill mimicked Stan’s breath and felt the tension in his shoulders and stomach start to melt as he kept his eyes on the other boy.

“I-I am oh-k-kay.” Stan was smiling a tad wider but just as soft.

“One more time. I’m okay.”

“I’m oh-k-kay.”

Stan gave a final nod and Bill could feel that he’d calmed down, the tightness no longer pulling his body uncomfortably, the itch no longer under his skin, just a warm, tired calm left by Stan in its wake. He felt that and the exhaustion of crying for who knows how long. It was noticeable in the way that Billy sagged slightly, head getting a tad heavier in Stan’s hands. When the other boy realized he’d yet to let go of Bill’s face he flushed, slowly pulling his fingers away so not to startle either of them.

“You, uh, you should probably take a nap.” Stan said, finally taking a moment to sit back on his heels, pulling the pressure off of his knees.

Bill nodded, rubbing his already pained eyes, just to make sure there wasn't any lingering wetness.

“Y-yeah, you’re pr-probably right.” They both got up to their feet, albeit unsteady. Stan hung around for a moment before he turned to leave. A hand shot out and fingers closed loosely around his bony wrist. Stan turned around quickly.

Both boys stood, staring at each other until Bill spoke up.

“W-would you s-s-stay?” Stan didn’t think he’d have the ability to say no if he tried. Not to Bill. Never to Bill.

He nodded his head and stepped back into the room, Bill leading Stan by the arm until they both were awkwardly stood at the end of Bill’s bed. They hadn’t shared a bed together since they were thirteen and still could have space between them. Since Bill had realized maybe what he was feeling for Stan wasn’t what he felt for the other Losers.

It had been two years since then, but the reality of the moment was more pressing, the reality that Stan was the only thing holding Bill together. He needed him there.

Stan, surprisingly took the first tentative step forward, gently extracting his wrist from Bills grip and laying across the bed. He tucked himself into the corner, back against the wall with his curls sprawled out against the pillows. There wasn’t much room and Bill wasn’t sure what to do until Stan opened his arms wide as though he were going for a hug while laying down. It dawned on Bill that Stan meant for him to lay against him, tucked into his embrace.

The thought made Bill’s heart race as he shuffled onto the bed, laying with his back to Stan’s chest, still a bit of space between them, as much as Bill could spare. He didn’t want to make Stan uncomfortable.

Stan’s arm looped around Bill’s waist and pulled him the half an inch that remained between them, his nose tucked into the juncture of Bill’s shoulder and neck.

Bill fought the urge to squirm in surprise and instead focus on his breathing and keeping his blush down as much as possible. They laid there, Bill’s mind still reeling, too hyper-fixated on the weight and warmth of Stan across his back.

Gentle breath tickled over the exposed skin of his throat.

“Sleep Bill.” Stan’s sleepy command had the other boy closing his eyes and soon he too fell into the peaceful darkness of rest.

[drgoddamndmt]

new project

THE BACARDI FIVE-HUNDRED by TWP Outline CH 1: Tuesday Night; Chilling w/ the girls & some strange news. A frantic & fulfilling Race Home. CH 2: Thursday Night; Race to score liquor & drugs before pre-game ritual: Bonfire w/ friends. CH 3: Awkward Arrival of a Shorthaired White Girl; Painful dining experience @ Steak n’ Shake in the early AM. Then Home for final preparations. Yakira’s neediness preyed upon… Pack my bags & sleep on the couch… CH 4: Friday Morning Race to Bank & Store after waking up late; Get cleaned up & load the car. Smoke a bowl, have a shot, then hit the road, onto FL-417 North. CH 5: Party On the Road; Maps out, music blasting, blunts, & Bacardi from the canteen. Zach & I each eat one Adderall and two mushroom caps. Good times. Finally enter Daytona. Arrive early @ La Quinta Inn & now we wait. 21st Century Fox is fashionably late & every one wonders what James is doing here… CH 6: Check In & the Nightmare of Parking; Off on foot for quiet, awkward lunch. Weird scenes on the Boardwalk: Doomsday Preachers, hobo street performers, witches. @ Ocean Deck Bar & Grill, some bad vibes, & an acoustic revival. Then back to Hotel. CH 7: Git’ Down; Rolling blunts & mixing drinks, rushing off to ICE machine. Out on balcony, Race to catch the buzz before dusk. Down to pool & hot tub. Swirling whirlpool foursome in Jacuzzi. “Dead Cats, Dead Rats!” Josh takes Meghan to bed. Jackson, James, & Yakira help make sure she’s okay. Me & Zach stay downstairs. What now? Cocaine… CH 8: Neon & Noise; the remaining five of us roam on foot down Main St and Boardwalk theme park district. Go Karts. We race around, but not for very long. Me & Jackson eat some shrooms. Tilt-a-Whirl, then Sling-Shot, & finally photo booth. Singing drinking songs walking back. Waiting @ Domino’s for James’ food, me & her finally get to talk. Having a good time, glad you’re here. Back @ Hotel, more blunts on balcony before Ocelot wants food, TV & sleep. Jackson abides (?!?!?!) & now all beds are occupied. Still wired, what comes next..? CH 9: Night Alive; A messy exit, across street & down block to Yakira’s Corolla. Knew Jackson would snoop thru my bags, so I snuck out drugs & her present. @ Waffle House for another painful dining experience, and some horrible music. Paranoia, angst & hijacking the juke-box. Bad vibes. Madly laughing, “sympathy for the rooster…” Escape. CH 10: Race back to Hotel; Collect liquor & towels. Down to beach. Tequila, & The Black Angels on the dark shore. We split up… Naked run into ocean, cold swim. See something and return, witch going thru my belongings. She says hi. I say hi. In the distance, hear familiar voices & see lights of security carts. The witch was gone. Nervously dressed. Zach & Yakira return. Race back to Hotel… CH 11: Drunk Nostalgia on the Balcony; Three of us reflect on how much we’ve grown up & changed. Talk about the drugs we’ve done, the ones we haven’t & the ones we want to try. Eventually discuss sleeping arrangements & call it a night. Alone on the balcony, I reflect heavily on my journey w/ Jackson & what the future might hold. Heavy thoughts on a heavy night. Hear a party next door or downstairs but don’t care. Lay down w/ pillow & blanket, listening to laughter & sea birds… CH 12: Dreamlike Witch Encounter; Strange girl from beach woke me & invited me to party next door. Inside, there were 100 Corona bottles & a pound of ditch weed. Three other dudes, & the Witch. Balcony, shrooms, coke, weed, beer. Then we find ourselves talking about fulfilling our dreams, & the witch starts asking how willing/ determined we are… She started making strange promises in return for drugs & booze. I never gave her anything. Before dawn, I went over the rails & returned to my own balcony & slept. CH 13: Jackson’s Laughter Woke Me; Stood & saw her in hot tub, pale luscious & GD sexy… I saw James tho & calmed down. “Good morning, Crazy!” She laughed. Changed, grabbed stogies, and joined them. Got to sit alone w/ her half naked in day light hot tub. Shortly followed by Meghan & josh, only 2 minutes alone. I see the dudes from last night staring @ us from their balcony. They wave. I ignore. We all go upstairs to pack. Jackson tells me to clean up balcony, & trash talks. We stare each other down & watch each other’s hearts break. Alone, the dudes ask me what’s up w/ Jackson, & can they get w/ her. Dude, No. She’s my ex, & that’s her baby daddy. Leave her alone. Move cars, load up. Missing gift & key- card scene, was it the witch? EJ tells me don’t worry. Drive confusedly back to boardwalk theme park area. Get turnt & go out… CH 14: Johnny Rock n Roll’s Gift Shop on Main St; lots of amazing sights, beach stuff, Woodstock & Grateful Dead memorabilia. Biker chic, stoner chic, Veteran, Hippie, beatnik chic… Onto Boot Hill Cemetery, & a bad time taking photos, Jackson & James always bickering. Browse thru more gift shops, & I realize James is only here to buy Jackson anything she wants… CH 15: Boardwalk Gauntlet; Sling-shot, liquor, blunt roaches, & tilt a whirl. Philosophies of adrenaline junkies. Split up for taffies, Frisbees, kites & beer. Regroup on beach for full contact free throw Frisbee. Down to the ocean for a quick swim, & a tender moment w/ my woman. After her kite won’t fly, Meghan hears about the go kart track near by, & wants to check it out. CH 16: The Bacardi 500; We bribed some workers @ the track to let us all Race together. It would be three rounds, of five laps each. It was a brutal, unforgiving trial to weed out the worst drivers, & we were all drunk and stoned. Nearly an hour of high speed curving & passing, shit talking screaming, shouting, singing. Hearing anthems like L.A. Woman & Going the Distance in my head… There was no clear winner & the techs had no idea, so it was highly debated, but in the end, I didn’t care. CH 17: Last Look @ the Deep Blue Sea; Another round of drinks, Frisbee, & swimming before the rain clouds form. I finally tell her happy birthday. We head back to the cars… It was time to go. Jackson & her band had more places to stop & things to do before returning to Lake County. The three of us had to get back to Orlando while we still could… We said our good byes & hit the road. We followed her at first, until FL-400, then onto I-4, and finally, FL-417… CH 18: The Stormy Road Home; Still drinking & smoking, Yakira plays some music & suddenly they are venting, talking mad shit about Jackson, her attitude, the way she made everything a downer. I stood up for her but they chewed me out. Heavy music to cope w/ heavy thoughts. Silent breakdown. Finally Zach changes music & everything is better temporarily. We Race Home @ great time, less that an hour. But bad vibes soon return. Arguing & fighting upon return. CH 19: Angry Night Home; I brood & dwell on negative thoughts while Zach & Yakira waste all the hot water. Found the lost q in the backyard & salvaged it. Zach maintained his shitty mood & had to leave for work. Yakira & I went to the gas station & got more beer & cigarettes. Got turnt & made dinner @ the house. Ma came home, & Yakira talked her ear off. Eventually her & I crashed in the living room watching TV & I fell asleep. After two AM Zach came home. They woke me up giggling in the shower & I didn’t go easily back to sleep. CH 20: Sunday, February 19th, Jackson’s 21st Birthday; More ugly bickering w/ Zach. Both of us dope sick, he talks major shit & I break a glass pipe. He threatens to slug me. I punch myself & get a bloody black eye. He leaves w/ Jason to score more weed. Yakira asks if I’m okay, then leaves. Jackson never comes & alone @ the house I reflect heavily on the trip & her scornful words on the balcony. I decide to clean up. Then chill & drink w/ Jorge from work. CH 21: Strange Days; Jackson finally comes on Monday. I take her to get ice cream, then gift her card & an eighth. We talk. Neither of us seem very happy… Don’t hear from her for several days. Back @ the Hardware Store the owners are losing their grip w/ sanity, but I get closer w/ Jordan & Rachael & Shannon. Continue chilling w/ Jorge, Yakira & Yesse P. The next times I hear from Jackson is to buy weed & rush home. Sometimes she brings James, or somebody else… After I angrily speak my mind about it, she stops responding to my calls, texts, or snaps… Temporarily concluded that she hates me & it’s time for me to really move on & let her go. Have the epiphany that happiness comes not from others, but from within myself. EPILOGUE: The Uncertain Future; About a week later, Yakira wanted me & Zach to join her at the fair. We agreed. She came to the house & we chilled. Then she revealed Jackson was coming too. We went in two separate cars & the two of us talked everything out & felt much better. Ate some shrooms @ the carnival & staggered thru the fun house & rode all the attractions. Yakira & Zach got sick after all intense whiplash from the rides. They sat it out while me & Jackson shared a close moment on an incredibly dangerous ride. After everything was over, we had to part ways & go home. She had school & her child. I had work & hustling bags. But as we parted, we did knowing we’d always have each other there, as long as I stayed careful not to fuck it up…