#so labor intensive but my only regret is that i didn't do this on a pair of pants that fit me better

[africanmorning]

*Knee of my pants tears*

Me: Clearly the only logical course of action is to create an embroidery pattern of Master Chief by hand on graph paper, cut up an old curtain, and use modified cross-stitch through two layers of fabric to put John Halo Himself on my otherwise crappy pair of jeans.

Bad photo of the pattern I made in case anyone else wants it (I might try to digitize it later, Idk):

[aemondsladywife]

His Lady Wife : Alternative Ending I

aemond x reader

an alternative ending to 'His Lady Wife' where y/n survives and aemond suffers the consequences of his actions.

a/n: its 3am in the uk rn and i've made you guys wait too long! i am extremely sorry this took so long to write!! i won't even lie, its not the best, i really struggled w these alternative endings, feedback and comments are appreciated as always, my inboxes are always open for requests!! also if you want to be on my permanent aemond taglist, please comment! btw there are more alt endings on its way!

genre: angst

after hours and hours of intense labour, you finally gave birth to a premature baby girl. you were exhausted, but seeing your precious baby girl gave you all the strength you needed in the world. as you cradled your tiny, precious baby girl, your 'husband' came in, with guilt etched all over his face.

"my wife I-"

his eyes fell to his tiny baby girl. his eyes began to water as he spoke,

"is that my daughter?"

you looked at him with cold eyes, your blood was boiling as you placed a protective arm around the daughter you had just birthed.

"no she is no mans daughter. she is mine. only mine. no fucking guards and definetely not yours. she has your white hair and violet eyes but it was not you who carried her 8 months in a chamber fit for a criminal. it wasn't you who had to endure severe pains for the past 8 moons. it wasn't you who pushed and pushed for 9 hours straight. that was all me. you left her mother to die and now you expect to be her father? if you want a baby so bad carry on fucking that whore of yours, you're nearly there!"

aemond looked at his wife with wide eyes. he didn't know what to say or where to begin. her anger was justified. he was about to step closer and speak to his wife when he was interrupted by a maester.

"my prince, may I speak to you in private."

aemond nodded to the maester, with tears of guilt and pain in his eyes as he walked out of the room with him.

"my prince. the princesses labours were... horrific, to put it mildly. as she was not given any support during her tulmtuous pregnancy, her labors were worse than we had ever seen, it is a miracle that she and the babe are alive. it was a whole moon early, she lost litres of blood, the baby was upside down and had to be physically twisted and even now, both mother and wife are severly unwell. please do not take offence my prince... but it is best you give the princess and the babe their space. any further stress could even cause a heart attack."

aemond felt sick to his stomach as he realised what he had put his wife and daughter through, all because he let his self doubt and insecurities get the better of him.

he nods and complies to the maesters words. what else could he do other than wait? he caused enough damage as it is.

weeks go by and aemond can't even catch a glimpse of either his wife or daughter. his heart is overtaken by remorse and longing. he knew this was all his fault, but he desperately wanted to see his baby and his wife who he treated so terribly.

aemond took a deep breath before knocking on the door of his estranged wife's chambers, he has flowers and a dragon plushie in his hands.

you open the door, with your daughter in your arms, not expecting to see aemond at the door.

"husband."

aemond has a sorrowful, sad smile on his face.

"my wife, i know my actions are much beyond forgiveness, i will live the rest of my life in regret for my disgusting actions... but please, give me a chance to redeem myself. i will do anything and everything my love. i have not even held my own daughter. please. i beg you, my lady. let me hold my little girl."

aemond begged you with tears in his eyes. he was desperate. he looked at his tiny daughter in your arms and yearned to hold her. all he wanted was to be a good father and husband.

"i remember feeling this desperate too..."

your words give him a slight bit of hope. he hopes that you pity him enough to give him a chance.

"i felt this desperate when i begged of you to let me go to my fathers and recieve treatment for my pregnancy complications. and what did you do. refuse. and what did i have to do? suffer in silence. now you will do the same."

aemond's entire being became filled with guilt and resentment towards himself, he would do anything for a moment with his wife and daughter.

"please my wife. please. i have not been able to eat or sleep knowing the pain i caused you and our daughter."

you looked back at him with no sympathy and chuckled when you spoke.

"i remember that feeling all too well. i felt the same when you restricted me to a chamber with mouldy walls and food that wouldn't feed a child let alone a woman carrying a child herself"

you were shutting the door on him when he stopped it. he was so desperate, he was begging you with tears in his eyes.

"please. my lady. my lady wife i know my apologies are worthless but at least give this to my sweet girl."

he holds out the little stuffed dragon toy, praying to the gods you would accept it.

"we do not accept gifts from strangers. especially ones who once had ill intentions for us."

with that, you shut the door and left aemond in a state of great despair. in one swoop, he lost his wife and only child. his dreams of being a father had been crushed by his own hand.

taglist: @fultimefangirl @hc-geralt-23 @whatsonthemirror @69cocktimusprime @immyowndefender @burntoutpetals @uselessbutinteresting @bibli0thecary @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @bellameshipper @graykageyama @krispold @malfoytargaryen @imnotyourbcbe @poisonedsultana @caramelcandescence @azaleapotterblack @oh-thats-cute

*tags w a line through didn't work!

[aphroditelovesu]

hey love you can make headcanons about yandere klaus mikaelson (romantic) with a reader who dies in childbirth of their daughter (hope) as klaus would be during her death and at the funeral after him and for the rest of his life.😭

"My life is meaningless without you by my side, sweetheart." - Klaus Mikaelson.

❝–🧛🏻 lady l: this is a little sadder than I planned, but I hope you like it anyway, anon.

tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, death, slight description of childbirth, death during childbirth, angst and blood.

Klaus stayed by your side throughout the birthing process and he was in agony hearing your screams as you tried to push your daughter out. It hurt him so much to know he couldn't do anything to ease the pain you felt.

When he started to smell the blood, it didn't disturb him, you were giving birth, it was normal to bleed a little. But it didn't take long for him to realize that you were bleeding a lot more than you should, it was at that moment that he knew something was wrong.

Klaus intensely questioned the doctor who was attending to you at the time, he even went so far as to yell at him. The doctor was disturbed and said you were hemorrhaging. And there was nothing he could do, because you were bleeding a lot and you were far from the hospital.

You wouldn't survive. When Klaus heard those words, he snapped the doctor's neck in rage and stood beside you, squeezing your hands as he tried to help you push your daughter out. He wanted to change you at that time, but he couldn't, he knows the risks of changing you while you were still in labor, so he didn't. And Klaus regrets this decision so much.

The moment a loud cry of a baby was heard in the room, it was as if Klaus had forgotten everything he had been told and he focused his attention on the precious little creature that was placed in his lap by one of the frightened nurses. Klaus was touched, your daughter Hope, she was so perfect.

Klaus's concentration was all on the child, he didn't forget you, but he ended up neglecting you a little while holding the baby and that was a mistake. You could feel yourself getting weaker and your life draining away. You fought to stay awake, to stay alive as long as you could, but the blood loss was too much. Giving birth to a hybrid child was more difficult than you expected and it resulted in complications. Complications that took your life away.

When Klaus finally realized that you had stopped breathing, it was like someone had driven a white oak stake through his chest. As if someone had ripped his heart out, and in a way, his heart had been ripped out. You had been taken from him and there was nothing that could be done. Klaus felt destroyed inside, you, the only person who made him feel alive and happy and loved, were gone and gone forever. The only reason of why he didn't collapse to the ground was because he was still holding Hope in his arms, but it took everything in him not to collapse right there. It is said that Klaus' screams and cries could be heard throughout the mansion and even outside.

After your burial, Klaus kept quiet. He refused to speak to anyone, including his own sibilings, nothing could be done to lessen the pain he felt. Hope was in his lap, sleeping and that made him calmer, but it still hurt. It was so cruel and unfair, a loved and precious life came into the world but another was lost. Klaus refused to do anything but cuddle with Hope the entire time. She was the only thing left of you, the perfect display of your love and he would never let her go. Klaus still felt torn up inside and he knows he always has, but he has his daughter to help and the memories of the times you spent together. Nothing and no one could heal the hole that was left in his heart after your death and it's not like he was going to let anyone try to replace you but he had Hope, your daughter and living proof of your love and that was the only thing that kept him going. He would, but only for you and your daughter, but nothing could repair the damage that was done. Nothing and no one could overcome the undying love he would always feel for you.

[mageofseven]

I’m sure you’re sick of these types of requests atp, but after learning you’re also a poly dialuci fan I can’t not request a surprise birth story for them together/combined 😭🙌

Omg I swear y'all either have the worst case of baby fever or just love baby drama 😂

But no worries! Honestly, these are one of my favorite posts to write because I too love this kind of drama hehe~

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Okay, these two men had zero clue MC could be pregnant.

This triad more or less was in agreement that babies were not something they needed at this time.

I mean, the triad only just hit their 1st year anniversary

Which, coincidentally enough, was the night MC conceived.

Neither of the three knew this because they always used protection with MC, almost to a religious degree.

All it took was one overzealous redhead on script duty with bad handwriting to mess it all up though 😅

Reminder that they use runes on MC as a form of birth control and the men take turns on being the scripter

The first time they could have discovered the pregnancy was when her morning sickness hit her hard.

Problem? It also hit her around the time MC accidentally ate some demon food that wasn't human safe 😅

It was a food MC had never seen before and since she has been in the Devildom for so long and was so used to eating weird food, it had never accord to her to be cautious.

Oh boy was Lucifer upset.

He chastised his girlfriend, but was still the one to hold her hair back as she puked.

Dia just laughed it off, somewhat anxious.

I mean, the food she ate wasn't going to harm her, but it commonly made humans have intense nausea and make them puke for weeks as their body tried to rid itself of the foreign toxin.

Lucifer wanted her to see to a see a doctor, but MC refused.

She loved her boyfriends, but they were so protective that it was exhausting; Lucifer especially so since his protectiveness was also paired with his stubbornness.

Some days it felt like Lucifer would make her see a doctor for a freaking paper cut if she'd let him.

Though also worried about his Queen, the redhead accepted her decision and persuaded Lucifer to do the same.

However, he did remind her that she could change her mind at any time.

She didn't though and honestly, MC will regret that decision every time she thinks back on it.

With the end of her nausea came cravings and a big appetite. The three just assumed that after weeks of not being able to eat much that her body was catching up for lost time.

As her belly grew, MC grew more and more self conscious as well.

She had less 'intimate time' with her boyfriends and would hide her belly under baggy shirts.

Honestly, the woman started getting really depressed about her rapidly changing figure.

The two men were worried about the weight gain too, but only because it upset their girlfriend so greatly.

This was a period of a comforting for this triad. The two men put aside work more and more to comfort their depressed human.

The two men showered her in gifts, took her on more dates outside the house since she became more homebound during this period, and spent so much time trying to cuddle the sadness out of her.

This went on for months till finally, it all came to a conclusion.

MC was having really bad cramps one day. Both men had a meeting they needed to attend, but the pride demon's intuition was raising red flags.

Despite the woman's protests, Lucifer was able to convince their boyfriend to stay home and the two stayed by her side.

Like always, Lucifer wanted to call a doctor immediately. Also like always, MC outright refused...for awhile at least.

Eventually, the pain got so severe that she was gripping one or both men, begging through tears for a doctor, which her boyfriends quickly obliged.

That's when they learned that not only was MC pregnant, but she was actively in labor.

The panic and shock was obvious from Lucifer; I mean, how did this happen?? It made absolutely no sense to this man considering how careful they have been.

Dia, on the other hand, was ecstatic.

I mean yes, the three of them had originally agreed that babies weren't on the agenda for the time being, but the prince mostly just agreed because both of his partners weren't ready for parenthood and he himself was okay with waiting.

The two men got into a small squabble over the prince's reaction, but was interrupted by their girlfriend's scream of pain.

To Lucifer's dismay, Dia sent the doctor away as per MC's request. She didn't want some stranger in the room while she was naked and in the worst pain of her life.

As a compromise though, the doctor was kept on standby else where in case the human needed him.

Each man planted themselves on different sides of MC and held her hands.

Both men gave MC encouragement and comfort, but Dia excelled at it. He was constantly whispering in her ear, peppering well-appreciated kisses on her face, and rubbing her taut belly.

Lucifer did the same, but given that he was the more anxious one, was constantly checking her progress and making sure she was keeping hydrated because obviously hours of screaming and pain can make any person easily dehydrated.

Day turned to night by the time the baby was born; the triad had never been more relieved to hear cries echo through a room before.

However...there was something a bit off about this baby.

When Lucifer brought their new daughter into MC's arms, the human noticed a strange mixture features.

This baby had Diavolo's skin tone, down the same golden markings on her arms as are found on the prince when in his demon form. However, she also had Lucifer's black hair. Her eyes matched her mother's and she had two little golden nubs on her head that will grow into horns in the future.

How...how did this child look like both her boyfriends? Even Lucifer was perplexed.

Luckily, Diavolo had the answer to this.

Some demons experience what is referred to a chimera conception; basically, if a demon has multiple partners within the window of time for conception, the baby can take genetics from more than one father.

In truth, the prince never thought it could occur in a human till now.

Still, the man was excited! His Queen just had a baby. He was a dad now--

Lucifer pulled his boyfriend out into the hallway, telling him that he needs to cool it down.

The pride demon didn't like bringing the mood down for the happy man, but it really needed to be said.

He reminded the prince that before this baby was essentially forced on MC by the universe, she didn't actually want a child; not yet anyway.

Neither man knew quite yet what their girlfriend wanted to do with this baby, whether she wanted to raise it or send it away.

To get excited now was premature and could unintentionally guilt the human into keeping a child she might not want.

This talk deflated the prince and his boyfriend hated that he had to do it.

The pride demon tugged his boyfriend into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I know this is difficult, but we need to keep MC in mind; she's already been through a lot as it is."

Dia nuzzled his face into the other demon neck.

"No, you're right. I...I just got carried away." He pulled back to meet Luce's eyes. "I'll keep myself under control."

"I know you want to be a father. Maybe you will be able to be one; maybe we will with this child. If MC can't handle this now though, we could always have another when she is ready."

Dia leaned in and kissed his boyfriend.

"I know...thank you, my Light."

The two men returned to the room, opening the door just to find MC crying as she stared down at her daughter.

The two men picked up the pace and joined the human at her bedside.

Dia knelt down next to her and wiped a tear from her face with his thumb.

"Don't hate me..." She said softly.

His eyes widen.

"What do you mean, my Queen?"

The woman shook her head and looked away from the prince.

Lucifer sat next to her on the bed and kissed her head.

"Love...just talk to us." He cajoled. "It will be alright, I assure you."

"I-I just...I don't know what to do; I'm so scared."

"Oh my Queen..." Dia joined his partners on the bed and pulled MC in to a hug, careful of the child resting within her arms. "It's okay; it's okay to be scared."

"But what if I can't handle it? What if I don't want..."

Her gaze fell to her daughter and the guilt choked her.

Dia's heart cracked. Lucifer was right.

He leaned into kiss her head.

"If you do not want this child...I will find a safe home for them."

MC's eyes widened as she turned to him.

"But...but you want her...I know you want to be a dad."

Dia lowered his head.

"I love our child...but I love you more." He insisted. "Will not pressure you to keep a child you aren't ready for; especially after the trauma you just went through."

MC shook her head, thick tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I don't know what I want...I'm so confused."

"It's fine; you can be confused." Lucifer told her. "You don't need to decide now."

In accidental unison, both men leaned in and each kissed a side of her head.

Diavolo nodded.

"That's right." He agreed. "Just know we are here for you and will continue to love you no matter your choice."

It took a few days for MC to recover from it all. Originally, her emotions were running hard after the birth and it made an already overwhelming situations worse for her.

As she recovered from it all, the woman started to get so very attached to her daughter.

Before she even told her boyfriends that she wanted to keep her, the men could just sense it from how she looked at her.

The three decided to name their daughter Eris.

[curatedqueer]

my june reading list

reviews below the cut

radio silence by alice oseman

this book is absolutely fantastic. you find youself hating characters for half the book and then loving them immensely. also, demisexual character rep is very hard to come by (i won't spoil who in the book is demisexual) and i love how it's portrayed here. i love this book so much, i cried, i had to stop reading to vibrate with excitement, it's one of my favorite things alice oseman has ever created. so much of the plot that i want to talk about would honestly be a spoiler for anyone wanting to read it so just go read it, you won't regret it.

the passing playbook by isaac fitzsimons

of the two fiction novels on this list centered around a trans character, this is the one written by a trans person and you can very clearly tell. it captures the feeling of being trans and being in love as a trans person so well, it's my favorite book on this list. spencer (the main character) makes jokes that real trans people do, talks about his gender like real trans people do, and it's because a real trans person wrote him. it's fantastic. i loved reading something from the perspective a trans man playing sports, there's so much transphobia in athletics right now and having a character experience that while also having his team rally around him was such a breath of fresh air when the real world isn't always like that. as someone who isn't stealth and is very openly trans, it was also interesting to read from the perspective of someone doing everything they can to pass and be in the closet. being stealth isn't a bad thing and i like that the book never tries to shame spencer for not being out and proud, it reminds the reader (and spencer) time after time that being stealth, being closeted, is an individual choice that you don't have to explain to anyone. you don't owe anyone a "coming out" experience, you don't owe them your traumatic backstory as to why you're closeted, you're allowed to just exist.

we contain multitudes by sarah henstra

this one wasn't my favorite. i liked it a lot, yeah, but the characters didn't hit right for me. i enjoyed the letter writing format and i think henstra did well with explaining why the characters would be writing things to each other that happened while they were together when that would usually ruin the immersion and be a major plot hole. i liked that it didn't feel rushed (for the most part...), overall it's a really good book. i just didn't find the main character's romance very likable. the way their lovestory began was just very icky for me and i felt a lot of victim blaming from the characters towards each other. i think it's a good read but if you don't like the main couple, don't feel bad, neither did i most of the time.

bloom by kevin penetta

i enjoyed the absolute hell out of this one. the cozy baking domesticity, the character development (a bit rushed, but still realistic due to the time skips), everything about this made me happy. i did cry also but that is not the point. after some scrolling around i found that a lot of people didn't like ari, the main character, and i just don't get that. his actions (not even irredeemably bad ones either, just a little mean) get explained pretty well and, honestly, i just think he's a funky little dude. like i said before, the plot is a little rushed, and that's one of my only critiques. i think because it's a visual novel, the art was very labor intensive (and absolutely gorgeous) so they relied on time skips to keep from overworking the illustrator and trying to make a 500 page long, perfectly paced novel. if you want a quick and cute gay read, i really recommend this one.

lily and dunkin by donna gephart

okay. so a lot of people hate this one. i won't lie and say it's not for good reason, but i try to read books and remember when they were written and who wrote them, especially when it comes to books about queer things. i think that lily as a character is very cute and very likable, she's just a 13 year old trans girl trying to survive 8th grade. of course, she's not the character people usually hate. dare is a dick and, quite frankly, i just don't like her. she's supposed to be lily's best friend and a main/important side character but really just treats lily like shit. she berates her for not going out in "girl clothes", deadnames and misgenders her to "prove points", and just isn't very nice to her at all. dunkin is his own other beast to tackle and i don't think i could do my thoughts on him justice in this post so i'll just say this: he's very complex, he's not always great, but he's a character i was able to sympathize with for many reasons and, despite my critiques of him, i did find myself caring about him a lot by the end. if you want a really good book about trans people, read one written by a trans person, but this one is still enjoyable for me and i did like it.

queercore: how to punk a revolution, an oral history with too many writers/contributors to list (seriously, the "glossary of protagonists" is 3 pages long)

this is the only non fiction book i read and, while it took me a hot minute to finish for a book that's only about 140 pages, it's a really good read. there's so much history packed into this book and there were a lot of familiar faces in it for me as someone who's very into the genre and subculture of queercore. as a trans person, there were a lot of times when i wanted to tell some of the cis gays in this book to shut the absolute fuck up but, as is the way of the world. the cis people (not the lesbians usually) were truly the problem here. when i'm reading queer history, i'm not here for cis women to tell me to wait until i'm 32 to transition or cis gays to rant about how queerness is based around sex (seriously, this cis gay men were Really into ace exclusion). this is a hard book to review because there were so many people in it with so many contradicting opinions, there's no way to truly sum it up. here's my summary: read it. there's a lot to love and a lot to hate but you have to learn queer history. see how we began, take inspiration and be reminded of the things we need to avoid. the cis gays may talk like the movement is over and they gave us all our rights or whatever, but trans people are still fighting. we're rapidly losing the rights we're supposedly so privileged to have. so take what they taught and use it.

aristotle and dante dive into the waters of the world by benjamin sáenz

i will start sobbing just thinking about this book. i will. that's a threat. i've missed these boys so much, it's been 4 years since i read the first installment and this book filled the void i didn't even know i had. i really have no idea what to say about this, it hurt, it cured all of my chronic illnesses, it was pure emotional catharsis. you know when you love something so much that you can't even talk about it? that's how i feel. words cannot ever express the experience of reading this book. if you've read the first one, go buy this immediately, if you haven't, buy both and binge. i can't review a masterpiece.

heartstopper (vol 1-4) by alice oseman

it's a pride month reading list, of course i read heartstopper. "it's just two cis white gays who cares" me. i care. a lot. look, it's popular because it's good. book 4 is my favorite by far, there's so much character development packed in there, so much love, it's beautiful. i love that there's never a scene where charlie is expected to forgive and forget homophobia and bullying, he's actually praised for rejecting apologies because he has the right to. no one is owed forgiveness and i love that heartstopper highlights that. i also love seeing characters get help for their issues, not relying on love to cure all ailments, fighting for themselves and their loved ones, there's really nothing bad about it i can say. i love the rugby lads trying to figure out a good way to say to nick "hey so you and charlie, that's a thing right?" and failing miserably, i love the teachers and their romance, showing you don't have to be a 16 year old twink to have a gay crush and figure out your sexuality, there's so much good stuff in these books and i'm so excited for book 5.

and that's my list! go out, be queer, read queer books.

[ov33]

So I kept on thinking about @thesedangankids Emo!Junko AU and I did my first bit of digital art that actually looks really good and wrote a short thing on the first murder in it. There's blood though, and the story is a bit long for scrolling so I'm gonna keep that under the cut.

Also special thanks to 'em for helping me figure out certain things about how to use a tablet like I needed to.

Your attempt to kill Leon failed spectacularly. It should've been easy. But Leon grabbed that damned sword, blocked your swing and broke your wrist. And fuck, even then you had to fight hard when you saw he got the knife to like, not get murdered yourself. Finally you knocked him over and fled into the bathroom, sealing the door behind you. You're safe. You breathe a sigh of relief, followed by a cry of pain when adrenaline fades and pain kicks in cause oh god your fucking wrist. Terror, regret, and pain fills every ounce of you, and you know tomorrow is gonna be the worst day of your life. But at least you'll have a day. A moment later you Leon's voice taunting you, and he starts to fuck with the doorknob. With fear in your heart you remember that all the boys had tool kits, with screwdrivers. You're going to die. Maybe this is for the best. After what you were going to do to Kyoko? Your friend? Hell, maybe there was even some sparks. Kyoko did seem to look away a lot, but maybe that was wishful thinking. You sit down in the shower stall, eyes screwed shut as you wait for the end. Then, you hear Kyoko. "Leon! What are you doing?!?" Your heart skips a beat and you call out for Kyoko. It's fair to say she immediately assumes Leon came here to kill you, not the other way around. Leon stutters. He tries explaining. Kyoko demands he leaves and he stops. You hear footsteps and relief washes over you. You start sobbing. "You okay, Maizono?" Kyoko asks, clearly close to the door. You hear the sound of the front door close, and you stutter out an apology to Kyoko, but... Something else has caught her attention. "Leon..." Kyoko's voice is alarmed. "Stop. Leon. Don't—no. Leon! Don't do—" You hear the sound of Kyoko's air leave her lungs. A body hits the floor as she gasps in pain. "I'm... I'm sorry... but I'm getting out of here," Leon says lowly. You start moving towards the door in a blind panic, wanting to save Kyoko, only for the knob to not move. You bang on the door hard. Your wrist bends at a bad angle and you shriek in pain, so intense your vision is blurring. Then you hit the floor, barely a few feet away from Kyoko, and yet unable to see her, touch her, save her. You can hear her labored breaths, the sound of something heavy moving as agony overwhelms you and everything goes black.

The following morning, you awaken to the feeling of an ice pack pressed against your wrist as it's set straight. That damned bear, the one responsible for all of this, is relieved to see you didn't get an infection. He seems... saddened by the loss of Kyoko, but is really doing his best to fall back into the horrible uncaring evil mastermind shtick he's been trying to follow with varying degrees of success. He gives you pain killers, not enough to overdose on noteably, and promptly disappears as you stare at Kyoko, lifeless and still and limp in a pool of her own blood.

Time... stops being linear. Maybe it's hours, maybe it's seconds, or days, but you keep staring at her eyes, empty and hollow. The doorbell has been ringing for some time. At some point, Junko's head peeks over around the corner, that stupid amused grin plastered across her face. "Ooooh~ someone's in troooo~ublllle~" she says in a sing-song voice.

You wish you were Kyoko.

[thegoodprincess]

Together We Are Apart, but Apart We Are Together | KTH Ch. 5

Author: thegoodprincess

Pairing: Kim Taehyung | Original Female Character

Genre: romance, fantasy, action, forbidden love, human KTH | angel of death OC, supernatural au

Word Count: 2.9k [series, ongoing]

Rating: N/A

Warnings: Extremely brief mentions of blood. (Taehyung sadly doesn’t appear in this chapter 😭.)

Summary: After admiring a handsome boy from afar, an Angel of Death reluctantly rescues him from his own demise. As a result of going against her better judgment she inadvertently invites him into her world.

Together We Are Apart, but Apart We Are Together

Chapter 5. Revelations

“I chose you even before I met you.”

I was both physically and emotionally exhausted by the time Malachi put the boy to bed, yet I still found myself pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. The air around me felt thick with tension as I began to recognize the gravity of the situation that had unfolded tonight. I found myself wringing my hands out of habit to get the pent up jitteriness out of me. My shoulders ached. I was acutely aware of how the pain started in the base of my neck and gradually crawled down my spine. It only stopped to settle when it reached my lower back. But even the pain couldn’t distract me enough from the twisting knot of anxiety in my stomach.

I stopped pacing to stare absentmindedly into the fireplace. Narrowing my eyes I fixated them on the way the flames licked around the edges of the firewood. They vaguely reminded me of the way the blood-tinted-water curled around the boy’s body as he sunk unconscious towards the bottom of the river. Upset at the memory, I dug my toes into the fibers of the Persian rug beneath my feet. But to no avail, it only spurred an entourage of other images. I unwittingly began to recall every minute detail of tonight’s events. Harrowing flashes of sights, sounds, sensations, smells and even tastes replayed over and over.

If I closed my eyes and focused hard enough I could see the panicked expression on the boy’s face when he’d realized he was falling, the bright red droplets of blood splashing against the backdrop of white snow, and the pale white translucency of his ice cold skin. I could clearly hear the sound of the bullet exiting the gun, the boy’s body breaking through the ice, and the way he gasped, panted, and gargled when his breathing became labored. I could feel the painfully icy water stabbing through my skin, how the feeling was amplified greatly by the frigid night air when we broke to the surface, and his heart beat gradually slowing as he got closer to death. I could still smell the metallic scent of his blood mixed with the faint undertones of his cologne. I could even remember the bitter tang left in my mouth from all the stress. It was almost too much for my reeling mind to comprehend. The memories only seemed to momentarily cease whenever I noticed that some of the stray cinders escaped the fire to create smudges on the rug.

I was unsure I had made the right decision saving the boy. As much as I didn’t want to admit that Malachi was right, there was undoubtedly going to be some sort of consequences for my actions. I was also uncertain of their severity. Maybe it was best to just have let him die. It wouldn’t have complicated things so much. Moreover, it wasn’t like I only saved him once. I had stopped death from claiming him during three different instances; the first time being when he fell into the river. He should have drowned as a result. The second and third times could have happened separately or together simultaneously while he was bleeding out from his gunshot wound and experiencing hypothermia after I rescued him. I was beginning to understand and accept that I had messed with the delicate balance of life and death. It made me uneasy to think that it was going to come back to haunt me one way or another. However, I couldn’t say I entirely regretted saving the boy. Something in my gut told me this wasn’t his time to die. There was something more to it that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I was vaguely aware of Malachi’s presence when he entered the room. He must have sensed my mental turmoil brewing behind my far-off gaze. After I heard him purposely cleared his throat, as to not startle me, he placed his ashen fingers on my tense shoulders to gently turn me to face him. Worry swam in his eyes as he stared at me. I broke eye contact first, as I didn’t have the energy to endure another lecture. Taking a second to collect his thoughts, he sighed out before speaking.

“Mistress, if I may on my behalf express to you my thoughts,” he hesitated as if to ask for permission.

“You may,” I curtly nodded, anxious yet genuinely curious of his opinion.

“What is done is done. And it is rather foolish to harp on such occurrences that we can not change.” Trailing his hands down my arms, he grabbed both of my hands. “While I do not entirely agree with involving ourselves with humans,” he trailed off almost sounding repulsed, “If you truly believe you did what was right, then I faithfully stand by you in your decisions.” He gave a reassuring squeeze to my hands.

Surprised I jerked my head up towards him and stared wide eyed. I was in disbelief at the sincerity of his words. His reaction was not what I was expecting. He only kindly smiled at my bewilderment.

“You’re not disappointed with me.” I timidly whimpered out. A few stray tears escaped my lash line and rolled down the apex of my cheek, feeling relieved as my emotions bubbled to the surface.

“I have grown too fond of you to ever be disappointed by the decisions you hold dear to your heart.” At a loss for words, my mouth opened and then immediately closed a few times before I just settled for abruptly hugging Malachi.

“Thank you,” were the only words I could muster as I whispered the sentiment into the crook of his neck. It took him a moment to realize I was embracing him before he returned my affection wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and shoulders to pull me even closer into him.

“You are very welcome,” he said before letting go of me. “Now have a seat. I will make you some tea with fresh herbs from the garden. In the meantime please refrain from staring at the fire so intensely. It almost looks as if you will burn a hole through it, not that that is really possible since it is already set ablaze, but you understand what I am alluding to. Relax.”

I giggled at his playful demeanor and nodded, walking around the coffee table to take a seat on the worn sofa. Once he left the room, I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the sofa. The grandfather clock settled next to the fireplace ticked rhythmically in the foreground. I syncopated the noise of the swinging pendulum to my breathing, focusing on it to momentarily distract me from the topic of the boy currently residing a few rooms away in my bed.

Sometime later Malachi returned holding a tea tray containing two crystal glass teacups and a freshly brewed kettle of tea. After sitting in a love seat adjacent to me, he gracefully poured the piping hot liquid just short of the brim into a cup, he then carefully handed it to me.

“Here, this will help to calm your nerves. But do be careful it is quite hot,” he quickly warned me before I could even think about taking a sip. As I brought the cup up towards my mouth, I noted its flowery vanilla aroma before the taste of the liquid washed over my tongue.

“Mmm, thank you. It’s good,” attempting to make small talk in a bid to distract myself I continued, “But I thought you were going to use some of the herbs we have. Instead you used roses. I hope you didn’t use too many. You know my rose bushes are precious to me,” I teased.

“Do not worry, I used only a few. They smelled too fragrant to pass on the opportunity. Plus they give the tea such a lovely color.” He said looking keenly into his own cup, admiring the way some of the stray petals swirled about it when he slightly rotated his wrist. Noticing the juxtaposition between Malachi’s daunting appearance and the delicacy of the tea’s ingredients was something I found quite comical. I chuckled softly to myself. It was then that Malachi broke the phlegmatic atmosphere.

“Mistress,” Malachi addressed me but didn’t say anything else. I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Hmm?” I encouraged him to continue whilst casually sipping my drink.

“Forgive me, but that boy,” he paused again unsure, “Why did you save him? And do not say that you do not know, because I know that you must have had some kind of a reason. You do not usually act so rashly without one. So tell me the truth, please.” He pled with me.

My smile suddenly faltered. “Uh, well, ” I stuttered. Finding it easier to just start from the beginning I spoke, “The first time I saw him I immediately noticed him. It was like my eyes immediately found his. I couldn’t look away… and I didn’t want to. After that I kept seeing him. It was almost too easy to pick him out of a crowd. Over and over he kept appearing before me. And it wasn’t like I was always seeing him in the same place around the same time; it was multiple different locations anywhere from early in the morning to late at night. They didn’t seem like coincidences,” I reasoned. “The harder I resisted looking, the more I wanted to. It’s like his presence demanded my attention. And the funny thing is when I do see him it feels like a kind of sixth sense,” I said as I exhaled dramatically, “A tingling takes over my whole body and immediately a voice in my head tells me, ‘hey look up, look up now,’ and suddenly he’s there in front of me. It’s like time slows down and the world becomes a blur. Almost like I’m hyperaware of the moment, so that I can take in every detail of our depressingly short encounters.” I didn't want it to seem like I only liked the boy for the way he looked. He had other attributes that I appreciated as well.

“And it’s not just because he’s handsome. Yeah, he’s beautiful; but he’s also kind and considerate and smart. He’s always looking after the well being of his friends, he’s respectful to strangers, and he acts so sweet towards his dog. Not to mention he has such a unique outlook on most things if you take the time to really listen to what he has to say.” I began to fidget with a loose thread that had come undone on my nightdress. Spinning the fiber between my fingertips I continued, “There’s more there hidden in the depths of his eyes and the way he smiles wide, and how his voice excitedly pitches and his eyes light up when he tells a story,” my passive face formed a smile as I remembered. “He looks… like… someone worth knowing. Like I could share all my secrets with him, lean in close and whisper in his ear and he’d listen intently but wouldn’t repeat anything aloud.” I stared dreamily into the fire, lost in my thoughts. “I want to be his friend. I want to make him smile and be there for him when he cries. You know I saw him once wandering around the streets of Seoul late at night with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. All I could think about was hugging him tight. I don’t even know what made him upset. I wish I could have asked what was wrong so I could make it better in any way I could. But I know I can’t -,” I trailed off catching myself in the middle of a an exceedingly long rant.

Embarrassed by my blabbing, I abruptly stopped. I tried as best I could to articulate my feelings but I found I was unknowingly speaking in an unfiltered rush. It felt like what I was saying didn’t even make that much sense, considering I didn't even properly know the boy. Malachi was considerate enough to not interrupt me though. Instead he only stared with a pensive look in his eyes, trying to make sense of what I was saying. He could tell I was struggling. Frustrated with my inability to properly give a direct answer, I pulled a seam in my dress and inadvertently created a tiny hole.

“I… feel like there is some sort of connection between us, like he came into my life for a reason.” I picked at the edges of the hole. “Or maybe I came into his life for a reason. ” Drawing a shaky breath I uttered, “Perhaps it was love at first sight.” My voice was just above a whisper by the time I spoke the last word. Overwhelmed and a bit scared by my own admission, my trembling fingers caused me to clink my cup against the plate when I set it down on the coffee table. Malachi solemnly nodded his head once as if to convey to me that he understood, even though I knew he didn’t.

“What is his name then?” He asked with a stoic expression, the orangish hue of the light emitting from the fireplace reflected on his pale face.

“I don’t know.” I felt silly for even entertaining the thought that I had feelings for the boy when I didn’t know something as simple as his name.

“You do not know,” Malachi repeated, his features impassive.

“No, Malachi, I don’t,” I retorted. I was being unreasonably defensive, “Shall I go and try to wake him to ask?” I was unable to hide the scorn in my voice.

“You know that is not what I am referring to. I was just -.”

“You just what?” I impudently interjected, “May I remind you who is in charge here, because you are beginning to agitate me.” I pinched the bridge of my nose as my blood began to boil in my veins. “Know your place,” I snapped at him. As soon as the bitter words left my mouth I saw a drop in Malachi’s shoulders. Feeling regret for my vile temper I quickly apologized. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just -,” I paused before meekly continuing, “Would you please kindly drop the subject? I’m exhausted and I need time to think things over.”

“Yes, of course Mistress, my apologies for upsetting you.” Malachi responded sounding dejected.

Looking towards a mirror hung on the left wall of the room, I then remembered something. Before the boy had fallen into the river, the gunman had deposited his wallet into the snowy bank to hide it.

“I don't know his name,” I whispered astonished that I hadn’t remembered this from before. Malachi confusedly furrowed his eyebrows. He was probably questioning why I was bringing up the topic again after I had told him to drop it. “But I know a way we can find out.”

“What are you suggesting then?” Malachi inquired, trying to catch on to what I was referring to.

“His wallet. It was left on the side of the river. I’m sure it contains some sort of identification in it. That is, if I can still find it. It was snowing when you rescued us… probably even harder since we left. I’m sure it’s buried by now. It’s worth a try though.” I rose from my chair, to walk over to the mirror. Taking a moment to focus on where I roughly remembered the gunman hiding the wallet, I then channeled my energy into the mirror to show Malachi the location I pictured in my head. Suddenly the scene in the glass shifted right before us from merely reflecting myself to showing a view of the Han River from where I was previously standing tonight to witness death’s doing. “See right along here is where it should be located.” I pointed to a particular area of snow. “If I can just -.”

“No, you have been through enough tonight,” Malachi cut me off. “I will go retrieve it.”

“Thank you, “ I whispered grateful Malachi was volunteering to help me. But just as he was about to teleport to leave, I called out to him. “Wait!” Malachi stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me. His face was void of emotion, but he raised his eyebrows as if to silently question why I had stopped him. “The man that shot the boy, what… what do you think will become of him?”

“Hmm, karma probably. Those who commit such heinous crimes, their actions are bound to catch up with them at some point in time. If you are not referring to prison while he is still alive and breathing, the Shadows will surely drag him to Hell once he reaches the afterlife.” Malachi spoke matter-of-factly.

“Oh.” Malachi’s candid input put me at ease. Angels of death usually escorted the souls of the dead to Heaven or even Purgatory, while the Shadows delivered those found unequivocally evil straight to Hell.

“Hey, do not ruminate too deeply on the virtue of others, or you will begin to develop wrinkles.” He made his way back over to me and gently rubbed out the worry lines in my forehead. “I will return as soon as I locate the boy’s possessions. Make sure you finish your tea,” he advised nodding towards my abandoned cup. He then turned on his heel and disappeared from sight only leaving the remnants of a shadowy fog were he once stood.